#if we were to really sit here nd go through all of the “this is him” pics she has we'd be here all day i fearfgjhk

[starcraftt]

i was finally home. to stay ── .✦

AUTHOR'S NOTE : i'm obsessed and that's okay. REASONING : i got bored nd had cooked up some ponyboy headcanons so jst decided to make all of them some. ^^ <3 WARNINGS : none of these are probably accurate i dunno man it's late?? like,, really late and i have school tomorrow i'm sorry. :( </3 ( no actual warnings that i could think of !! )

RANDOM OUTSIDERS HEADCANONS !!

゜✦゜₊⁺  ✦゜₊⁺   ✦゜₊⁺  ゜゜✦゜₊⁺  ✦゜₊⁺   ✦゜₊⁺  ゜゜✦゜₊⁺  ✦゜₊⁺   ✦゜₊⁺  ゜゜✦゜₊⁺ 

𝐏 𝐎 𝐍 𝐘 𝐁 𝐎 𝐘

|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒

— Ponyboy wouldn't like puddles. I feel like he just doesn't like rain in general, so he can stay in and read, but I feel like if he had to go out, he would hate stepping in puddles or passing through them. ( iykyk and i'm crying lmao )

— PONYBOY CAN DRAW AND I FEEL LIKE WE ALL FORGET THAT SO, i feel like you could find him drawing what he imagines book characters to look like, or objects in the books??

— Ponyboy is a perfectionist but only on some things.

— OML Soda has totally walked into their room to find Ponyboy c r y i n g on his bed, and after Pony calms down, Soda asked what he was crying about only to find out it was about a book.

"are you kidding me pony" "i'm sORRY"

— has a weird addiction to horror movies despite hating them and they give him nightmares i cant. they're his guilty pleasure because darry always says the cause of his nightmares were the horror movies he watched.

𝐒 𝐎 𝐃 𝐀 𝐏 𝐎 𝐏

|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒

— Sodapop actually isn't that bad at spelling, he just forgets a letter here and there. Like, he'll misspell 'missing' as 'mising', but the next time he writes 'missing' he'll spell it right. his mind is just too distracted and i feel that.

— SODA HAS TOTALLY TRIPPED IN FRONT OF A GIRL AND TRIED TO PLAY IT OFF SO CHILL.

"meant to do that" coughs

— Soda 100% tries his best to help Darry with the bills and such, hating to see his older brother weighed down with all the stress. Never thinks he could do what Darry does nd admires him lots.

— actually kinda enjoys being on the side of watching his friends mess around like?? Sodapop loves knowing that his friends all get along nd -- agjshshshjgshshs

— he supports it fully if/when the steve is the one attracting the girls one day, never the jealous one.

— LEGIT THE BEST WINGMAN.

"hey, what's up?"

(probably evie or smth) "oh, hey." her friends around her giggling at sodapop because he's cute. <3

"so, you see that guy over there?" gestures wildly over at steve. "yeah he kinda needs someone to dance with." casually leans against the wall like he's flirting with her as he winks subtly.

𝐃 𝐀 𝐑 𝐑 𝐘

|| 𝐂 𝐔 𝐑 𝐓 𝐈 𝐒

— Darry would totally be one of those people who seem like they instantly know how to do everything but I feel when he used to have free time he'd jst randomly learn random things.

"darry you know how to juggle??"

"yes."

"darry you know how to cartwheel?"

"yes."

"darry you know how to read??"

"pony --"

— hates supernatural things, ghosts actually scare the shit out of him im not kidding.

— but when he watches horror movies he's just sitting there blankly while pony is trying to not scream at his side. and when they walk out and ponyboy's jst all shaking nd stuff darry's just like: "broski you okay?"

— loves organization for no reason, it doesn't help him have a clear mind or anything he just . . . goes into pony and soda's room . . . . . and organizes,,,

𝐓 𝐖 𝐎 - 𝐁 𝐈 𝐓

|| 𝐌 𝐀 𝐓 𝐓 𝐇 𝐄 𝐖 𝐒

— Two-Bit ( doesn't get enough love ) probably had a childhood crush on Minnie Mouse.

tries not to admit it or is boldly proud of it. depends on who he's talking to.

— Two-Bit doesn't cry over real life things, but he would totally sob over a Mickey Mouse episode or something.

— Legit the smartest ever but doesn't attempt at school and this is why he was held back.

— TOTALLY USED TO HAVE A STUTTER WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER.

— you could NOT understand this boy it was that bad.

until his mom made him start reading to her aloud and it got better. 👍

— actually has once almost passed out from wheezing laughing too hard.

— drama queen and we love him.

𝐉 𝐎 𝐇 𝐍 𝐍 𝐘

|| 𝐂 𝐀 𝐃 𝐄

— Rip Johnny Cade, you would've loved child protective services.

— Johnny probably has tried his hand at creative writing nd he totally enjoyed it. Hates writing essays nd shit though.

— PLS PONYBOY WHEN HE HEARD JOHNNY WRITES A BIT FORCED HIM TO SHARE SO NOW THE TWO HAVE TIMES WHERE THEY BOTH SHARE RECENT WRITINGS AJGHHSJ ponyboy fr johnny's hype man because he knows how hard writers are on themselves (most of the time) </3

"i wrote this one yesterday idk man i don't like it"

"what the fuck johnny this is amazing??"

— johnny has and forever will create characters based on people from the gang. just someone from the gang casually inspired a part of the character. he didn't use to be so subtle about it though.

scribbled down character sheet with jst the basics - 'james thomas: funny guy and the only thing that comes out of his mouth are jokes'

"johnny is this two-bit"

"no."

— leGIT, he once saw someone at school doing a sick secret handshake and convinced ponyboy to make one up with him.

— he probably once didn't like dallas because ponyboy admitted randomly how he didn't like dally and johnny just kinda went with that.

𝐃 𝐀 𝐋 𝐋 𝐀 𝐒

|| 𝐖 𝐈 𝐍 𝐒 𝐓 𝐎 𝐍

— Dallas Winston cries at seeing spiders and you cannot change my mind with this. When he's around someone though he tries to play it off so cool though.

— he gets cuddly when he's drunk and johnny is most normally the prime target for hugs.

— says he hates kids but also hates seeing kids cry and will probably try and do something to make them feel better so they'll just stop crying.

— used to have a lisp on the word 'world'.

— genuinely loves any affection but is not willing to give it himself.

𝐒 𝐓 𝐄 𝐕 𝐄

|| 𝐑 𝐀 𝐍 𝐃 𝐋 𝐄

— Steve,,, i feel like he doesn't actually enjoy Mickey Mouse, he just watches it when it's on because it's something to watch and he knows if he admits it, Two-Bit would hit him and then cry.

— literally can sing the greatest ever but you never catch him doing it. not even soda knows so you know it's secret.

— cannot focus at work when it's just soda and him, all giggling and messing around until a customer walks in and bro just shuts up as quickly as he can without making himself laugh again.

— steve totally used to legit bully the fuck out of ponyboy when pony was like, five. he's toned it down. it's not that physical anymore.

— steve, and i cannot stress this enough, is such a fucking simp i cant.

— the best best friend. i feel like he'd try and act all 'tuff' and stuff, 'forget' what soda or one of the curtis gang mentioned wanting before getting that exact thing for them on a gift-giving holiday. he saved up so he could get them that. :(

[starflouer]

📷 — five and luca !!!!

send 📷 for my muse to post the " this is her / him / them " photo of your muse.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(⠀03⠀)⠀…⠀𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒂⠀&⠀𝒇𝒊𝒗𝒆

[prettiedup]

gojo and fucking his babygirl till she cant walk since she keeps stomping off when she has an attitude

satoru has noticed that you’ve changed. while you’re still his sweet girl, your attitude has gotten worse and worse. it really only comes out when he says something that you hadn't anticipated on hearing. 

after a long exhausting day of being the school’s golden boy and being recorded and having to talk rehearsed lines (‘perks’ of the gojo family funding a sufficient amount towards the school) it was all over. much to his luck, the frat house was completely void when he finally came home一well almost. you were sitting on the L shaped couch, waiting for him like an obedient puppy. he does little to hide his smile when he sees you jump to your feet once you realize he’s home. 

“hi, toru!” you’re smiling so hard and your arms are wrapping around him before he has the chance to fully respond.

“hey, babygirl.” he allows you to hug him. he pats the top of your head while basking in how comforting the interaction feels. “how’d you get here?” he asks. he remembers vividly dropping you off at your section of your dorm two nights ago.

“suguru dropped me off.” the smile quickly washes off of his face. a displeased scowl substitutes the once there smile. 

“i thought i told you to stay away from him?” not only did he tell you to stay away from suguru, but sukuna, choso, and mahito too. it’s not like he didn’t trust you, it’s them who he didn’t trust. innocent, naive, good girls; you’re their type. they would possibly do you even worse than how satoru treats you, and he knows that. that’s why he strives so hard to keep you separated from his friend group.

“he came up t’me, toru.” you explain. “‘nd i told him that i wanted t’see you ‘nd he told me that you were busy but he could drop me off here ‘nd i wait in your room until you came back.” 

even though your explanation seems logical and realistic, he still didn’t want the two of you to interact. no matter the circumstances. he lets out a frustrated groan. he’s too tired to lecture you. he’ll talk your words with a  grain of salt this time. 

“c’mon, baby. ‘m tired.” even with the two of you traveling a short distance upstairs and into his room, you still hold his hand. he doesn’t fight you on it, opting to allow you to do whatever keeps you satisfied.

you sit happily on the edge of the bed while satoru begins stripping out of his clothes. you’re shameless as you take peeks at his body, when did his little shy girl grow so confident?

“uhmm toru, while we were in the car suguru told me about the party that’s happening this saturday.” you comment. your words are hesitant as you bring up the new topic.

“yeah, ryomen is throwin’ it this time.” he nods his head mindlessly. he’s pulling out clothes through his drawers, searching for his plaid pajama pants that aren't folded and tucked in its usual spot.

“he invited me to go.” you squeak out.

satoru chuckles at your admission. “‘m gonna be busy this weekend, so..” he trails off.

“who’s gonna take me to the party then?” you ask in worry.

“no one. ‘cus you’re not going.” satoru pauses his rummaging to look at you. the expression on your face is almost comical. a mixture of shock and confusion is displayed.

“uh-huh, toru. i already told him i’d come.” you say in retaliation.

satoru makes a mental note to address suguru inviting you places without his agreement. usually, satoru usually doesn’t care when suguru offers to the girls he sleeps with, but you’re different.

"you're not going."

“...yes i am.” 

“no you’re not.” satoru replies, sarcasm is etched into his tone and he’s looking at you as if you have three heads.

“why not?!” your voice is rising and you jump up from your spot on his bed. you look up at him with a frown as you question him.

“cause ‘m not gonna be there.” he says it as though it is the clearest thing in the world.

“why does that matter, toru? i can handle goin’ alone.” you’re now defensive and upset. satoru can tell from your tone that you’re about to throw a tantrum and can only sigh as he prepares for the inevitable. 

“‘m not allowin’ you to go to a party thrown by sukuna alone.” he contradicts. 

“toruuuu.” you whine. “you’re being unfair!”

“am i?” he laughs.

you huff and whine some more. satoru ignores your whines, continuing to scavenge for his pants. the pile of clothes on the floor is growing increasingly larger and his drawers are growing bare.

“where the fuck is it?” he says aloud, his eyebrows are furrowed in confusion. 

you stop whining once you realize he’s ignoring you. frustration grows throughout your body as you look up at him with a scowl. you had grown used to satoru caving in quickly and to see him withstanding your antics absolutely enraged you.

“you’re so一stupid! i hate you!” you scream. you stomp towards the closed bedroom door while continuing to utter insults at him. 

there goes the new attitude, the loud yelling, the stomping, the insults. you’ve only done it twice before and satoru has had to put you in your place both times, this time is no different.

before you could even twist the knob, you feel a strong hand grasp the back of your neck. a sharp breath manages to escape your throat when you’re suddenly yanked backwards. it feels like your world is spinning when your back suddenly hits the mattress. 

satoru is quick to climb on top of you, his legs slot on either side of your body. 

there are angry tears pouring from your fierce eyes that soften up once you see the stern expression on his face. 

“t-to-”

“shut up.” he’s pulling your dress up to your stomach and shuffling to move to the side of you. he forces your legs open, his crystal blue eyes take notice of the way your panties hug your pussy. he could see a small wet spot seeping through your panties. he roughly yanks your panties down to your  ankles.

“t-toruuu..” you mewl. you know whats about to happen next and you try to brace yourself. 

the wind is almost knocked out of your chest when you feel his rough palm slap down onto your pussy. you flinch and kick your legs out of reflex. you squirm to move away from him which only makes him use his other hand to grab you by your throat. 

“fuckin’. rude. girl.” with every word, he’s slapping your pussy. loud screams escape out of your mouth, you try to shut your legs so that he couldn’t have any more access, satoru huffs out a breath and forcefully opens your legs back up. 

“stop.” his voice is deepened and the solidity is hard to disobey.

you could do nothing but lay there and take the slappings. every time his hand would strike down onto your pussy you would flinch and let out a weak moan. 

“of course you’d start moanin’.” he tuts. he moves from his position and stands at the edge of the bed. he grips your panties that are hanging loosely around your ankles and throws them elsewhere on the bed. he grabs you by your thighs and scoots you until your ass is hanging off the edge.

“i was jus mad, daddy, i didn’t mean anything i said.” you sniffle as you watch his cockhead rub against the entrance of your throbbing pussy.

“jus’ mad, huh?” he mumbles. he rubs his through your wetness for a few moments before sliding inside of you. on a regular day, he would’ve prepped you and made sure you were prepared enough for him to sink his lengthy cock into you. but its hard to be kind to you when you act like such a fucking brat.

“mhmm, d-daddy. was jus’ mad.” there are still tears lingering in your eyes that satoru ignores. “i don’t hate you, daddy.” you add on.

“‘s too late to apologize, babygirl. you know what happens when you act up like that.” 

you bite down on your lip while looking at him with a look of confliction. “‘m sorry.” you whimper. “are you一really mad at me or just a little?” 

“absolutely pissed, babygirl.” he says before snaking his hand back to your neck. he slams your head down onto the mattress and squeezes. 

his hips snaps into you, your wetness is already getting all over his cock and heavy balls <3. from his slapping, you feel sensitive, way more than usual. loud struggling mewls escape from your mouth as his hips speed up.

he keeps his hand around your neck but stops squeezing once his other hand goes to cover both your mouth and nose. “you’ve said enough today, babydoll. shut. the. fuck. up.” with every word, he grinds his cock deeper into your pussy. 

“rude little girl. gonna show you what happens t’girls who piss their daddy off.” he promises.

[gabriellessworldd]

Do i make you nervous?

shy, nerdy Armin x bold black fem reader

wc- 1.4k!

☆ warnings ☆: js a lil smth for my armin girlies! very light smut nth too crazy 18+, oral (f receive, you sit on his face 😛), armin is obsessed with you, so when you asked him to be your tutor he thanked his lucky stars.

"Excuse me, Miss L/n, could you stay after class, there's a pressing matter." your chemistry professor Mrs. Clark announced whilst sending you a look after she graded your assignment. "Yea i'll stay." you mumbled opening up your macbook, checking the damage, '13% no. fucking. way.' sure you weren't the best student but it was never this bad.

Class was finally over and honestly you wanted nothing more than to go back to your apartment and take a long ass nap. "Miss L/n, don't keep me waiting! Come here please." honestly you didn't want to hear what she had to say, but if you wanted to pass this class you would have to work your ass off. "Yes ma'am, what's the matter?" you were trying to be polite and sweet so maybe she'd have mercy on you but, that plan didn't work.

After 25 minutes of her lecturing you about your grades, she finally offered some help. "I would suggest you get a tutor, it could give you that extra push you need. Hearing the same stuff from me everyday clearly isn't helping you." She looks at you and shrugs, "You can see yourself out now, enjoy your afternoon." As much as she annoyed you, your professor was right, and you had the perfect tutor in mind.

Armin Arlert. Not only was he smart as fuck but he also had a gorgeous face. It made perfect sense, if that pretty boy had been teaching you chemistry you probably would've had perfect attendance and 100's on all your assignments. You saw him walking off campus and rushed after him, you weren't sure if he would help, but what's the harm in asking?

"Hey Armin!" he turned around looking for who was calling him then he spotted you waving him down. 'is y/n looking for me?' he felt his stomach do an olympic level gymnastic routine (😜) and swallowed the lump in his throat. He was captivated by you, there was just something so perfect about you. The way you laughed, your voice, your beautiful eyes, your entire being had him enthralled.

He walked over to you, "h-hey y/n" he tried not to get too nervous but the small voice crack gave him away. "hi! i was wondering if you could do me a favor?" you batted your eyelashes and smiled brightly. "o-oh! y-yea of course, what's the matter?" he said it almost too quickly, Armin was just glad he could talk to you. You studied his face, it was perfect, the way his glasses sat on his face, the pink tint on his lightly freckled cheeks, even his pink plump lips. 'wait, why is he blushing?' you smiled at the thought, this would be so easy.

"s-so you need m-me to tutor y-you?" he stumbled over his words, an hour and thirty minutes alone with you, luck really was on his side today. "Yup, that's it! Think we could start today?" you checked the time, it was 3:47. "You could come to my house now if you're free! There aren't any distractions and it would be just me nd you!" There was no way Armin was turning this down, "yes that works for me." 'fuck yea i finally made it through a sentence without stuttering' he smiled softly showing his teeth, and your knees nearly buckled.

You opened your door, the scent of vanilla and strawberries clouded Armin. Your place was comfy nd clean, "You can sit at the table over there, I need to shower quickly if you don't mind!" He nodded his head 'i can't believe im in y/n's house right now' he pulled out his textbook nd laptop, not that he would really need it.

"Thank you so much for waiting!" you walked out of your room in your pj's and matching house slippers. "You want anything to drink? I've got dr pepper, pineapple fanta, nd water." Armin watched you walk to the kitchen, your small shorts shrinking with every step, "u-uhm dr pepper is fine. thanks." You sat back down with the two drinks, your boobs bounced slightly in your exposed cheetah print push up bra. you noticed Armin's face heat up and slightly turn pink, you decided to tease him.

you leaned over the table and showing more cleavage and placed your hand on his arm, "Do you mind explaining this to me? I don't get it" Armin tried not to make eye contact with you and took a sip of his drink, but when he finally gave in your seductive eyes almost killed him. He choked on the dr pepper, "um y-yea it's dea-" "Wait.. do i make you nervous?" you cut him off, not caring about chemistry anymore, that assignment could wait.

You scooted closer to Armin and leaned in close to his face, "you're a very pretty boy Armin, did you know that?" You looked at his lips and back at his eyes, "n-no I've ne-never-" You went to kiss him and he immediately took the chance. His soft hands instantly squeezed your tits, and you ran your fingers through his soft blonde hair. The kiss was sweet but it was also passionate, it felt desperate like you both needed more. Armin slid down the straps to your top and bra, freeing your boobs. His soft hands pinched and rolled your nipples, you softly moaned into his mouth and he slipped his tongue in. But he still wanted more.

Armin pulled away from the kiss, face flushed and cheeks red, with a light sheen on his lips from your lip gloss. He lowered his mouth to your right nipple, slipping it in while still playing with the left. Your hands were still tangled in his hair, tugging at his locks. Armin left hickeys all over your chest, wanting to mark you, he needed to know that this wasn't a deluded dream and that you were right there letting him touch you. He looked up at you while sliding your tit out of his mouth with a pop, "c-can we go to your room?" his face was filled with lust, he looked so divine. "of course" you stood up and grabbed his hand, leading him to your room. Armin was anxious obviously, but the was something he needed.

You laid in your bed with your legs propped up on Armin's shoulders as he sloppily ate you out. "Fuck Armin! right there please!" He sucked on your clit, he needed you to cum, he wanted to taste how sweet you were. "o-oh fuck armin, mmhm, right there" He came up, his lips covered in your arousal, " I want you to cum in my mouth y/n." He went back to sucking your clit, you felt a familiar pressure build up in the lower half of your stomach,"a-ah mm armin. That feels soo good!" You could feel yourself about to unravel as he pushed his tongue in and out of your hole. "Cmon y/n, c-cum for me, please." he felt you pulse on his tongue and pull his hair, he started getting sloppier.

Your thighs squeezed his head as you felt your high coming. "ah Armin 'm gonna cum, fuck!" you moaned out as he sucked on your clit, making you throw your head back and squeeze your eyes closed, mouth dangling open. You felt yourself squirt and looked down at Armin watching him lick up everything.

"Can, can you s-sit on my f-face?" He wanted you to say yes, he needed you to say yes. You looked at him puzzled, "You want me, to sit on your face?" "Yes. please y/n." You nodded your head at the blonde, Armin quickly sat down, laying down fully when he saw you stand over him. You straddled his face, not fully sitting down all the way. "Y/n sit down all the way please, I promise I'll be alright." You listened and sat down.

"o-oh fuck armin, oh my god please!" his nose rubbed your sensitive clit as he continued tongue fucking you, his groans vibrated against your core. He loved the way you moaned, it sounded so heavenly, it was his new favorite sound. You needed more, you started to slowly grind on his face, "c-can you go faster y/n please." You picked up the pace, his tongue worked wonders, it was like Armin knew exactly what you liked. "a-ah Armin! 'm too sensitive, gonna cum again" You were on cloud nine, his tongue continued the ravaging pace. "c-cum for me sweetheart." The overstimulation and sloppy licks to your clit drove you over the edge "Fuck! ah Armin!" your vision went clouded as you came down from your high. Armin was satisfied, this was all he needed, to taste every bit of you.

a/n ☆: hiiii my lovebugs!! firstly i js wanna say i'm so grateful for all the interaction with "Never get yo bitch back!" also next part will be coming soon! lmk if y'all wanna get tagged in my future projects!! (y'all like the color switch for different characters or js keep pink?)

-with lots of love, gabrielle <3

[kunikame]

# PURPLE LILACS !

[10] - a sudden.. !! | prev. | m. list | next

ace trappola x fem!reader smau

! warning(s) : cussing, sebek gets stepped on (literally), death mention, not canon compliant turn of events for plot, crowley, no beta we die like ortho shroud, love u guys btw

! w/c : 761

and so on a sunny wednesday lunch break you find yourself sitting at your usual table, surrounded by your fellow first years. you spot jade a few tables away, menacingly glaring at some poor unfortunate student, and send him a quick wave when your eyes meet.

“–nd i kid you not he genuinely folded. so like the great person i am, i used the newly placed hallway carpet.”

“ya stepped on him?!” a few droplets of apple juice land near your plate. you shoot a quick look at epel, only to see the rest of the table doesn’t look much better, since he spat all the juice in his mouth out at this newfound piece of information (read: blackmail material).

deuce sighs in his seat to your left, “yeah, he did. i had to watch malleus’ face go from perplexed to absolutely horrified in the span of barely 5 seconds because of him. thought we were gonna die.”

epel finds this unfathomably hilarious. sebek, however, has not spoken in the past 10 minutes, despite usually being the loudest of the group. you feel a little bad for him– the poor thing has just been staring at his plate with a scarlet face this whole time. yet just as you open your mouth to try to console him, lilia appears out of seemingly thin air, hanging upside down directly in front of your face.

“hey faestie!~ a little bat told me the headmage has something important to discuss with you! you best hurry before he changes his mind, kuhuhu~”

and just as swiftly as he appeared, he also vanished. where his face once was, you now see the horrified eyes of jack and epel, and sebeks full face for the first time today.

you turn to the right to glance at ace with an eyebrow raised, silently asking if they've done anything bad without your knowledge. he shakes his head, fluffy ginger hair flying with the motion, and gives you a concerned look (which seems a little out of place on his face when directed at you, but you quickly dismiss the thought).

“i’ll be fine,” you say, slowly getting up from your spot and cleaning up your mess, “it’s probably just another unpaid job he wants me to do. i’ll see you guys later.

“with all due respect, what the fuck?”

crowley lets out the most offended gasp you've ever heard, “that is no way to be speaking in my office! this is unacceptable behavior! but since i am so gracious, i shall let it pass, because you have clearly not yet processed my generous offer.”

you heave an exasperated sigh, the seven know you're tired of this, “if i heard you right, you basically just said i have magic? like, actually? you're joking, right? i mean, come on, i've been here for like half a year and the only magic i can produce is manslaughter. be so for real with me right now.”

crowley's glowing eye twitches (at least, you think it does. it’s really hard to tell, honestly) “yes, that is basically what i said. see, the carriage did not bring you here by mere accident, despite it being through..”  he pauses, taking a seat in his gigantic chair, “unfortunate means. if it brought you here, it means it sensed something within you. so i’ve had some tests run in the background, and as it turns out, you do have a magical affinity, it just seems to be suppressed.”

you fall into the chair opposite him. whether it was because of your knees giving out from pure disbelief, or just because of how tired you are of everything, you're not really sure.

“.. okay, so what does that mean for me?”

“it means you can use magic once we figure out how to unlock it. it means you can continue studying here as an actual student.”

you blankly stared at the wall, thinking your choices through thoroughly.

you can't go back to your world unless you want to be dead, so having a place to stay would be great. if you had magic it would certainly make life, and your classes, much easier. you would no longer have to rely on grim or the guys to protect you in case of an overblot, either. it sounded great, overall.

“so? what will it be?”

your eyes slowly moved from the window to crowley's glowing ones.

your parents would feel more at peace knowing you could protect yourself in a foreign world (if they remembered you, that is).

“alright. let’s do it.”

## ❝ after the events of the phantom bride wedding, ace started wondering whether he still had the ability to charm girls. he hasn’t thought about anyone romantically in years, hasn’t really flirted with anyone either, what if he’s gone out of it? perhaps it’s time to put his talents to the test; with the person who hates him most, no less. if he can charm her, he can charm anyone. ❞

#TAGLIST ! : @solxima @gabirii @lunavixia @y2unagiz @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @borlining @verity-moon @myunghology @doughnuts-eater @lifeless-bug @babygurlenthusiast @shirishere @xopeach @stormyovent0aster @bontensbabygirl @ars-tral @wrathy-mcwrathface @sinofthesloth @skeet-2 @everettelz @sakuram1nt @shatiyuh @ambigrueity @junebunny06 @norylight @dyedracoonhair @persm1net @meowbuscompany @sugarrush-blush @oopsie-daisy-doo @yuumei-strawberry-shortcake @jaiistg // ask/comment to be added/removed! (if you’re in bold i can’t tag you)

[1-800-be-my-baby]

JJ taking care of hypersensitive!reader by cradling her nd fingering her:(

wrote this half asleep, not proofread. MDNI 18+. sorry this took so long, hope you like it my love.

you were sitting at your vanity getting ready for your date with jj. you were blasting your favorite playlist, humming along to the music while applying your makeup. jj had finished getting ready a while ago and was now just sitting on your bed waiting for you.

you lean closer to the mirror, needing all your focus to go into your eyeliner. you turn to your boyfriend after finishing one eye.

“hey baby does my eyeliner look okay?”

“yes it looks perfect baby.” you hum in acknowledgment and then back to do the other eye. your good mood instantly turns sour when your hand slips and you mess up your eyeliner.

“ughhh!” you throw your eyeliner down and cover your face with your hands.

your boyfriend walks over to where you’re sitting. “baby what’s wrong? what happened.” the last bit of restraint you had in you snaps when you look up at him, his face full of worry. tears start streaming past your mascara clad eyelashes.

“what- hey why are you crying? talk to me?” jj squats down, holding your hands in his.

“i messed up my eyeliner.” you let out a sniffle, the tears still pouring down your face.

“it’s okay baby come here. we don’t have to go anywhere we can just stay here. yeah?” he lifts you into his arms carrying you into the bed. he places you into his lap, wiping your tears away. “let me help you feel better mama.” you nod your head, embarrassment slowly starting to gnaw at your insides.

he kisses your head, sliding one hand across your stomach under your shirt, and laying his other hand across your chest. your breath comes out as a small gasp when he begins rubbing his pinky up and down your stomach, slowly coming in contact with the waistband of your shorts.

“shhhh, just relaxxxx mama. i got you.” he leans his head down, placing small kisses on your neck, your eyes slowly closing.

he slips his fingers past the band of your shorts, not moving them any further. you let out a small impatient whine as your hips slightly buck up, needing friction. jj lets out a chuckle underneath his breath, sensing your desperation he finally makes contact with your pulsing cunt.

a sigh of relief expels from your lips when he finally drags his fingers through your sticky folds. “always so wet for me.”

“mhm” is the only response you can give, nuzzling your head underneath jj’s chin.

you let out quiet whimpers as he drags small circles across your clit. “wanna take these shorts off for me?” you nod, your hands shooting to your shorts, eagerly sliding them off.

he hooks his arm under your knees, bringing them to your chest. before you can question what he’s doing, his fingers are back on your glistening pussy. he slides a finger inside you, slowly pumping in and out. you let out a moan, eyes already filling with tears. he adds another finger, moving faster. your hips jerk as you let out a loud cry.

“does that feel good pretty girl?”

“mhm. really good.” his fingers curl inside you, the burning sensation in your tummy slowly intensifying. the only noises filling the room right now is your whimpers and the squelching of your pussy.

your nails dig into his thigh when his palm perfectly hits your clit with each thrust. “i love you so much. you’re so beautiful.” jj murmurs into your hair, causing you to clench around his fingers. “loveyoutoo” your breath hitches in your throat, your release getting closer and closer.

“you gonna cum for me baby?”

“yes!” you let out a loud squeal as his pace increases. “i’m gonna-” your release gushes out of you before you can even finish warning him.

“thereeeee you go. that’s it.” he helps you ride out your high, before slowly removing his fingers from your now sensitive cunt. you turn around, giving jj a long kiss, doing your best at pouring as much love into it as you possibly can.

you place a series of kisses on his lips before laying your head on his chest. “thank you jj.”

“you’re welcome pretty girl. now let’s go take off that makeup while i order us food. then we can watch a movie. how does that sound?” he runs his hand through your hair.

“okay” you hum out, getting up and making your way to the bathroom. jj’s heart swells with love, grateful he gets to call you his.

[choreom4nia]

◜ 𝐈 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ◞ : a collection of prompts from the 2023 animated film 𝐍𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐀 based off the graphic novel by nd stevenson . adjust phrasing as desired ! not spoiler free .

go back to the shadows from whence you came !

if you want a happily ever after , you can never let your guard down .

hey , thinky face . look at me .

it's not what [ ] wanted .

i don't feel safe .

i'm not brooding ! i'm just - i'm thinking .

this is my thinking face .

you were better and worked harder than all of us .

but what if they still hate me ?

they're gonna love you . like i do .

did you think i was going to apologize for how i treated you ? oh my god , that's hilarious . you're so stupid , i love it .

some of us don't get the happily ever after we're looking for .

the garbage and the smell of sadness really pull the whole thing together .

wait , who are you ?

put that down !

okay , how old do you think i am ?

not a lot of kids in your life huh ?

i'm here about the job .

do you like it ?

every villain needs a sidekick .

sweet murder wall !

this guy looks extremely punchable .

you're right , he is extremely punchable .

are you saying you're not a villain ?

are you disappointed that i'm not a murderer ?

it's complicated , okay ?

i am not gonna get arrested !

i trusted you .

give me a chance !

because once everyone sees you as a villain , that's what you are .

they only ever see you one way . no matter how hard you try .

if you see anyone , hide .

that's a hard no .

something , something , something , we win !

did you see the way he looked at me ?

how could i promise you when i don't know what's about to happen ?

this is the part where you run .

you're a monster .

do not call me that !

why are you helping me ?

everybody hates you too .

i think what you mean to say is thanks for saving my life .

can you just be you please ?

i can't be seen with that !

you've been staring .

can you please just be normal for a second ?

easier for who ?

how did you get like this ?

that explains literally nothing .

you need to sit down . you're bleeding !

most people scream at that part .

i'm not people .

does it hurt at all ?

i've been through worse .

what does it feel like ?

i feel worse when i don't do it .

why did you set me up ?

they brainwashed you good .

arm chopping is not a love language !

it's how we were trained .

you should be questioning everything right now !

i've lost my mind . i've lost everything .

i never asked for that .

you lied to me about everything !

then you never knew me at all .

i've got you , kid !

i said i don't want to talk about it !

i don't need your help !

i don't know what's scarier : the fact that everyone wants to kill me ? or that sometimes , i just wanna let ' em .

we have to get you out of here.

we'll go , together .

no matter what we do we can't change the way people see us .

you changed the way you see me .

it's okay . you're safe . we're home .

let's live here forever .

i wouldn't be here if you'd stood up for me .

there is something i need to tell you .

i'm not the villain here !

i know ! i know . i believe you .

i'm sorry for everything .

we've been wrong about everything .

this was a mistake .

why can't you just leave me alone ?

because i love you .

tell me this isn't you .

where did you get that ?

you think that i would do that ? that that's who i am ?

think about everything that we've been through together !

you were using me !

you wanted them to see someone else to hate so you wouldn't be alone !

i want to hear you say it ! say it !

don't you wish you were normal ?

you know what you are !

innocent people will die .

what are we doing ?

what have i done ?

i'm sorry . i'm sorry .

i see you .

i see you . and you're not alone .

what if we're wrong ? what if we've always been wrong ?

be right back . i'm gonna go break some stuff .

it's time to rewrite the story .

come back . please come back .

maybe it's not the end of the story .

holy sh - !

[rui-xyz]

hii im from wattpad and i want to request :

Rui x reader (reader is afab), fsmut ig ?? both college students nd they both wanted to start a project but ended up.. yk 😭

HIHI WELCOME!! Honestly this ask is my entire rui sequel fic on wattpad (wink wink go read it and the prequel anyone who hasn't)

Anyway enough talking, let's just get into it ;)

⭒Synopsis: ^^

⭒Warnings: NSFW,

⭒Setting: College, so yall are anywhere from 18-22 or so

⭒Notes: AHH IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO GET OUT

"Alright, we have everything we need! I think..." You gazed over the messy pile of mechanic bits strewn across the floor, your boyfriend sitting in the middle.

"This should be all I need," he smiled up at you from the floor.

"Great! Then, let's get to work!" You hopped over onto your bed, starting to look through the brainstorming notes for just what kind of bot you'd use for this project.

That was over half an hour ago. So far, you had done nothing but add maybe 3 more things to your notes, and ramble endlessly. You suddenly stopped yourself mid-sentence, shaking your head in frustration.

"Noo, Rui, we're on another tangent..."

"Sorry, I knew this time, it just seemed like something you really enjoy talking about."

"Thank you, Sweetheart, but now's not the time to indulge my scatterbrain." You sighed, flopping back on the bed. "I still have no idea what this bot is even gonna do, let alone look like..."

"You have plenty of ideas down, I suppose it's just choosing that's the hard part."

"Are you sure the animated hologram is off the table?"

"That would take several months of research and work. You need this done by the end of the week."

You groaned and sat back up, slipping off your bed and leaning down over Rui's mess to cup his face and nuzzle his nose. "Thank goodness I have my pretty genius boy to help."

He chuckled softly, going along with your affection before standing up to stretch his legs. "I'll have you know, I didn't procrastinate on my homework this time, just to make sure it was done for when you get home."

You cooed, thanking him with a hug as he stepped out of his sea of silvers and metal. "Y'know, maybe a snack will help get us on track?"

"I don't think a snack is going to help you focus better."

"Awe, c'mon, we won't know til we try, right?" As you started walking out from your bedroom to the kitchen, you were tugged back by your shirt before the door closed in front of you.

"I know something that'll help."

"Hmn? And what would that be?"

Suddenly, you felt Rui pick you up and toss you onto your bed, jumping on you immediately after. He held himself up, hovering above you with a smirk on his face.

"If history repeats itself, this'll probably help out," he purred, before leaning down to start kissing and licking up and down your neck. You shuddered slightly.

"W-what in the world makes you think this is the solution?"

"You haven't noticed? You do much better work when you're... we'll say... relieved."

"What evidence is there of that?" You chuckled, resting your hands on his shoulders.

"I've witnessed it a time or two. Now, enough talking. That's what got us here in the first place."

You wanted to inquire some more, but refrained, instead just simply letting your breath shake with every exhale as Rui soaked your neck with growing impatience.

He wasted no time in slipping his hands under your shirt and pulling it up your body. His hands found their way to your sides, gripping and rubbing over your ribs, down to your hips. His mouth left your neck and pressed against yours, tongue slipping past your lips within seconds.

You kicked your legs up over his hips, squeezing his waist between your knees. He carefully pulled his face away from your kiss, smiling down at you darkly.

"Let's get this over with quickly, yeah? We shouldn't take too long when we have work to do."

"Yeah, you're right..."

His hands tugged your shirt all the way off, tossing it aside dismissively and going for your pants. Then his pants came off. Meanwhile, you tugged off his shirt, which he had neglected due to time. His leg pressed up between your legs so you could grind against it as your tongues licked together with hunger.

He felt over your body, squeezing roughly, grabbing at his favorite parts of you and feeling your soft, plush skin under his fingers. Fuck, were you irresistible, even with his eyes closed.

With the softest groan of frustration and impatience, he stuffed his face into your neck and shoved hastily at his all too tight pants. He sighed at the freedom once they were finally off, and paused before he made for his boxers. Rui lifted himself up and gave you a devilish look.

"Is my Darling ready for me?"

You let out a shuddering breath as his hand trailed down your stomach, dipping into your underwear and feeling across your folds. Just how easily his fingers slid told you the answer to his question. His smirk widened.

"Good."

With that, his fingers hooked into the leg holes and started tugging them down your thighs. Once they were off and discarded with all the rest of your clothing, you suddenly felt two of his fingers slide into you embarrassingly easily. You tensed, gasping, but huffed at the amused look on his face.

"I thought you said we shouldn't waste any time?"

"I wouldn't call this a waste. You aren't seriously asking me to just ram into you without a little preparation, are you?" He gave you a pouty look, to which you rolled your eyes and let him continue, stretching you out. Once he pulled his fingers out of you, sucking them clean before they wrapped around your hip, you mentally prepared yourself for what came next.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

He propped your legs up onto his hips and carefully slid into you. You let out a shaky breath as each inch slid in, filling you up how he always did. He groaned out happily, smiling as his lashes fluttered.

"Mmh, yeah... that's it." Rui sighed as he leaned down, pressing his chest against yours. His arms slipped under your shoulder blades and grabbed your shoulders. He rubbed his cheek against yours and placed a few kisses across it, grinning all the while. "I love you... Want me to start yet?"

You wiggled your hips slightly, listening to his breath hitch. Once you were fairly sure your insides had adjusted, you leaned back and relaxed, then nodded your head.

"Yeah, you can start."

"Okay, Honey," he sighed happily, then pressed his lips to yours. He started to pull back, then thrust back in slowly, breaths uneven. Your own breath was shallow as you kissed him, feeling how gentle and slow his movements were starting out. He continued at that same pace for a while, then pulled away from your lips to catch his breath as his hips began to speed up.

The feeling of his cock brushing against your inner walls and his tip hitting so deep in you gave you a wave of goosebumps, how it usually did. A few soft moans started to leave your lips as your head fell back against the pillows. Your vision was blurry with pleasure, but you could see as Rui looked over your face, his muscles tensing as a moan escaped him. He leaned back down, groaning softly as he shoved his face into the nape of your neck and started to speed up more.

It felt glorious, the pleasure making your brows furrow and eyes roll back. Your hands gripped onto his back, and with every moan of his that sounded next to your ear, you felt your insides grow hotter, until a knot started to form in your stomach. The most you could do was squeal out Rui's name, but in response, he sped up to a pace that had you wailing with pleasure.

You could feel your finale quickly approaching, but it's not like you could muster the ability to warn him, especially when his mouth met yours again and your moans mixed together. As you reached the edge of bliss, all you could manage was a frantic shove to Rui's shoulder, before your back arched and you cried out. He immediately slowed down, now back to focusing on his depth as his orgasm also neared. You clenched around him as you soaked his cock with your release, and those sweet sounds you were making made his cock more solid than stone. Every second his orgasm neared, it felt like you were driving him more and more crazy. He could just barely sense himself getting louder as he kept slamming deep into you, until his pleasure peaked and he let out a long, shuddering moan as he released inside you. You shuddered, yet another wave of goosebumps raising over your body. As his cum gushed into you, he held you tight, squeezing you with euphoria. When the feeling finally subsided, his whole body relaxed, almost going limp above you. He let out a sigh and started catching his breath at about the same pace you were.

The two of you spent a couple moments just basking in the relaxing, post-orgasmic afterglow, before Rui dropped his head back down to your shoulder, shifting slightly to get comfortable.

"Don't fall asleep," you warned with a chuckle.

"I know, I know. We still have work to do."

His words made you pause, before you groaned. "Awe, fuck."

[rottenblur]

My modern romeo | J.MILLER

starcrossed lovers

Summary: Growing up forced into the WLF organization for survival, life was boring. Secretly trading with a rival group, the people from jackson, something goes wrong. Nothing lethal like your group finding out youre trading with sworn enemies, letal like falling deeply in love with joel miller.

WARNINGS: fluff, strangers to starcrossed lovers, smut in later chapters, age gap, reader 23, joel 40’s mentions of death jokingly, angst in later chapters, fluffiest shit I’ve ever wrote

Sneaking out of wolves base was scary, dangerous. Yet it was a commute you made every Friday without fail. You’d made a promise one year ago with a broad scary man, you’d trade with him every Friday apon request on things the wolves had, and jackson didn’t.

You’d come across him on a late night walk to go stargazing, he was out for way more important reasons, coming home from a supply run.

“You know. Theres a whole apocalypse out here, ‘nd here you are fucking stargazing.”

You sat up clutching your pistol, pointing it at him. Your back damp from the wet grass you were just laying on. He doesn’t say anything more, just holding his hands up in defence. “Didn’t mean to scare you sweetheart, just surprised to be honest.”

You put your pistol back in its holster, hanging on your hip. You trusted him, you trusted too easily, especially in this world. The words of your parents telling you to shoot him, that you can’t trust anyone ringing through your eyes, yet you ignore it.

He seemed nice though. Who would just stare at someone so vulnerable, if he wanted to kill you he would have. “I guess its my only happiness, the world is shit yet the stars still shine so beautifully.” You said leaning back on your elbows, looking at him the only light being the moon.

He smirks, or you think, hard to tell, too dark out. “ya mind if i join you?” You shake your head, he lays his backpack and shotgun down, stepping towards you. You can see him clearer now.

Hes aged, at least forty. His hair is scattered with grey strands, he had soft brown eyes, wrinkles around the edges. Facial hair, to match with his hair, his knees cracked when he kneeled next to you. A tan jacket stretched around his wide shoulders, fairly worn.

He laid down about a foot away from you, a comfortable distance for a stranger you just met. He tucked his arms to cushion his head from the wet grass.

“What’s that accent? Not from around here, i’m guessing.” You said gazing to the stars.

He looked over at you, then back to the stars, laughing before replying.

“You apocalypse babies, know nothing ‘bout the real world but to shoot. You’re right it’s texan, ’m from texas”

You frown “Hey! We arent all like that, maybe the ones born later, but i was born at the start you old fuck.”

He gasps pretending to be offended. “So you in a group? Too pretty to be on your own.” He points to your freshly washed clothes.

You smile at the compliment. “Unfortunately, if I got caught sneaking out i’m sure i’d be hung.”

You look over at him “what group are you from? I don’t believe in all that enemy bullshit, don’t be scared.”

He laughs. “As if you’d be able to kill me anyways, jackson.”

Fuck.

“Oh.” Is all you reply with, If the wolves found out you were hanging out with someone from jackson, you’re sure they wouldn’t even give you the pleasure of a quick death.

“What?” He looks at you.

“Im a fucking wolf.” You pinch your nose bridge with frustration.

He sits up shocked. “Yeah right pretty, little thing like you, is a WLF.”

You don’t say anything, the silence makes him believe you. “Fuck you’re serious.”

“Its my parents fault, not like I chose it. Whats it like in jackson?” You try to calm the conversation, the building friendship.

“It’s nice, its like the world before. Fucking Christmas lights and a bar.” He turns to face you.

You smile. “Really? A bar? That’s luxury.”

He smiles back. “I ‘suppose, you even old enough to be in a bar?”

You groan. “Fuck you! Im twenty three. Not like its your business- uhh what’s your name, i didn’t ask.”

He lets out a yawn, it was late maybe you were keeping him from his soft warm bed. You started imagining him shirt off, cuddled up in a blanket, mouth open, snoring away. Oh god i need to stop you think.

“Joel, Joel miller. Not that last names really matter anymore.”

You smile, it had a nice ring to it, you tell him your name and follow up with. “Okay Mister Miller, i have to ask what don’t have in your luxurious place of jackson.”

He lays back down staring at the stars as he thinks. “Books. There’s not alot of books, theres this book i was dying to read pre apocalypse and i never got ‘round to it, practically my biggest regret”

You giggle. “Must be a good book to stress that much over it, what book?”

“Crime and punishment, its a Russian novel, a classic i guess” He looks at you.

You sit up. “NO SHIT. I have that book at home, i could give it to you, if its truly your biggest regret”

He smiled bigger than before. “You sure? You’re not reading it? What don’t those wolves have?”

You shake your head. “Read it about a million times, it’s good. Those fluffy woollen socks, they aren’t much of knitters i guess.”

He smiles “It’s a trade then, got a shit ton at home. Meet on friday?”

You nod. “See you then. Shit, im out way later then usual, i gotta go. Can’t get caught or you might never get that book, Miller” You frown, get up and brush the grass off your jeans, walk to joel and shake his hand.

He accepts it, his rough tanned hand engulfs yours. His hand is big, over average you think, veins litter the top of it stretching up his arm.

Walking home you couldnt shake the smile off your face, you met someone new. Someone nice, someone handsome.

You plop on your bed, grab the most desired book by him. Flip to the first page and with a pen you scribble. “Hope it lives up to your expectations, from your dearest.” Adding the finishing touch, a star.

All you dreamt of that night was Joel’s face with the cast of moon light.

When friday arrived you counted down the minutes till four. Same time as your first meeting, you exchanged your trades.

It couldnt just stop at that, no. You talked about anything and everything, ending with your next trade items for the next Friday.

Thats how Friday became your favourite day. Joel’s day.

My masterlist

AN: this is 100% inspired by Romeo and Juliet

This is mostly a prologue, how reader and joel met next chapter will be them completely known to eachother, reader so god damn in love with him.. maybe he feels the same. This was short as it is just a prologue. Check out my other works of joel and javi on my master list.

[criesbc1d]

Black Mamba

“Payne! Their’s a woman here to see ya!”

Liam grabs a towel. Walks out of the ring, wiping himself off. In the office is where I am sitting. He opens the door and a small smile creeps up on his lips.

“Hello love, long time no see.”

“Hello Mr Payne, it’s been about five years or so since we’ve last seen each other.”

“Has it been that long?” His eyebrows raise, thinking into it. “How’ve you been?”

“I’ve been alright. Just here for an interview.”

“is that so? Not here for yourself then?”

“Afraid not Mr. Payne. Strictly business.”

“That’s a shame. Would’ve liked to catch up with you.”

I smiled at him. Five years was quite some time in-between two lovers. Interview was short and sweet. Straight to the point. I was listening to every word that slipped through his lips. Oh, how I had missed those kissing my body. His hands caressing my skin. So tender, so gentle, so kind.

I shake my head and smile to myself. I knew this would happen when I walked through that door. The temptation eating at me.

“I really missed that sly smile of yours.” Liam says softly. “One of the bet things to see in the morning.”

“You remember?”

“It’s never left my mind. We were electric.”

I smile at him. Both of us sitting across from each other, studying the other in silence. A comfortable silence I had since forgotten.

I take a deep breath. “Is this interview to your liking Mr. Payne? Do I have everything in order as you please?”

He reads over what I have written down. Nodding in agreement. “I’d expect nothing less from you love.”

“Thank you, sir. I must get going. I have other paperwork to do.” I say, putting my pen and paper in my bag, standing up and pushing my chair in. “It was really nice to see you.”

He smiles at me, leaning back on his chair. “You were always straight to the point, I admire that about you.”

“Thank you Mr. Payne. Must get going now.” I smile nd open the door to leave the office.

“Say, maybe we grab a drink tonight or sometime this week, catch up?”

“I’m free Wednesday night. Eight pm sharp.” I wink at him as I close the door behind me, walking out to my car. Smiling and biting my lip as I drive off.

Arriving back at the office, it was hard for me to stop smiling. Especially when I was writing the interview for the paper. I print it off and lay it on my boss’ desk. He looks it over, eyebrows raised, slightly impressed. “That was fast, kid. Good work.”

I smile and thank him, heading back to my desk. I finish a couple more stories up for the upcoming days.

Leaving work, I stopped and grabbed some food on the way home.

Eating then showering, it was time for bed. My smile never leaving my lips as I drift off to sleep.

****

Wednesday arrives. I am up bright and early. Make myself coffee and some breakfast. Get dressed and off I go to work. Having dates here and there the last few years hasn’t made me this excited. Maybe I really had missed him.

Thoughts of our ecstasy ran through my mind all day. How I managed to get two more stories written out for the paper is beyond me. I had been in dreamland all day. The day went relatively fast since I was somewhere else. I leave work early to pay a few bills before heading home. Stopping at one of my favorite boutique shops. Finding a dress for tonight. A dark blue velvet, hanging off my shoulders, stopping just above my knees. Showing some cleavage and a necklace my mother got me when I last visited. I head back to my place, showering and putting on a simple face. Dressing in the new dress and some black heels. He’ll be here any minute.

I hear a knock on my door. I double check myself before opening it. He looks me up and down. A smirk forming at the corner of his mouth. “You look dashing, darling.”

I blush slightly, grabbing my clutch as he leads me to the elevator. Stepping inside, his arm wrapping around behind me. Keeping his hand at the small of my back as we leave the elevator and out the door to his vehicle. He opens the door for me, getting in on the other side.

“Where to Mr. Payne?”

“The Valley on Broadway Street, Phil. Thank you.”

The driver nods, checking traffic and driving us off. We sit silently in the back. Sharing glances at each other. It felt good to be with him again.

Arriving at the restaurant, Liam gets out and opens the door for me, grabbing my hand to help me out of the car. His hand on the small of my back again as he checks in his reservation.

“Inside or outside?”

“Hm? Oh, outside is fine.” I smile, people watching. The waiter leads us to the rooftop where there wasn’t very many tables.

It was quiet on top. Only the sound of the roaring street below us. It was a beautiful night to fall in love again.

The waiter brings us menus and a bottle of wine. “I got you your favorite.” Liam smiles at me. I look at the label for it to say Pinot Grigio. I smile as I hold my glass for him to pour it for me.

“Thank you Li. I thought we were only doing drinks tonight?”

“It’s been quite some time since I’ve heard anyone call me that. I missed the way it slips off your lips. I might add, you are not dressed for just drinks are you?” He smirks at me, making me blush again.

“I suppose I am not. I just wanted to look good tonight.” I sip my wine. Humming at how good it is.

“You look good no matter what you wear. I prefer you naked, honestly.” I giggle at his remark, remembering how complimentary he’s always been to me.

“How has life been to you since we’ve last spoke?” I ask.

“It was rough for awhile after you left, you know? I understand the bigger picture now but it still stung. Been training and winning matches mostly. I had to put my emotions into something useful.” He looks at me. “I forgave you for leaving when you did. Took me a bit but I did. I just wish you had talked to me about it before disappearing.”

I hold his hand in mine, looking right into his eyes. “I did what I had to do to protect you. There was a lot of money sitting on our shoulders. It was either me or you at the time. I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye but it was for the best.”

“Like I said, I understand now.” He kisses the top of my hand in reassurance that his words are genuine. “That’s in the past now. Right now, I want this to be about us rekindling - even if it’s just for a night.”

I stare at him as we order some food, having another glass of wine together. Chatting about our daily lives now. Him telling me about his boxing matches, winning and losing some. Me telling him about the office life and how difficult it is to get a good story sometimes. Both of us genuinely interested in each other. Our food arrives. We eat quietly. Opening another bottle of wine. Giggling and small talk between us. Time went by slowly. Enjoying each others company. I haven’t felt this relaxed in quite some time. I could feel myself getting tipsy. He smiles at me, helping me up, paying for the meal. And tipping the waiter. He helps me to the car, opening the door for me again. Getting in on the other side. His arm wrapping over my shoulders. His other hand on my leg, exploring my dress. Whispering how good my dress feels under his fingertips.

Arriving back at my place, he helps me out and onto the elevator. I lean into him, taking in his cologne. He kisses the top of my he’d as. He leads me to my door.

“Are you coming in?” I ask softly.

“This is where I’m leaving you.” He smiles. I look at him almost confused. He chuckles at me. “I don’t want to lose you again. So let’s take this slow, yeah?”

I smile up at him. He cups my cheek with one hand, kissing me deeply. I can feel our electricity sparking again. Like it never left us. I lean into him, the kiss making me weak. He pulls away slowly and smiles at me. “Until next time my love, I promise.”

I hum softly, stepping into my place, closing the door behind me. I get undressed, starting the coffee machine for the morning, crawling into bed. “Until next time.” I whisper to myself, smiling as I fall asleep.

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[mymanyfandomramblings]

Gleecap 3x06--Mash Off

Here we go, controversial episode about which I have controversial opinions. To clarify, this is my second watching of this episode, and I was able to watch it more critically this time around. Here's my reaction recap:

Puck running around the hallways so that Shelby can walk past him again--hilarious. To be clear, I don't like the Shelby/Puck storyline, but damn it gets some funny moments out of Puck

Additionally--Hot For Teacher was a hilarious number. The mic stand duelling, the sheer amount of fun all four guys were having--love it. Ditto the above point.

Sue's political ads are so ridiculous, and I love that the show tries to pretend that people are actually taking them seriously.

You And I/You And I is one of the best mashups the show ever does. It's actually heavenly

Also--Puck plays piano? Since when?

Also half the ND's just sitting down on the floor for no real reason

Now the first part of the episode that bothers me--Finn specifically tells Santana that he's not interested in making it vicious. He wants to keep it civil. If he'd started off matching the competitive energy, Santana's actions would have made more sense, but no. He says he doesn't want it to get vicious, and Santana sails in with her insults. I really don't like her until late Season Three, and I know that she's actually great by season four, but this..is not it

When Will enters the choir room, Quinn, Rory and Blaine are looking out the windows at the top of the wall. Why? We'll never know.

Honestly, the New Directions are actually working together pretty well--Finn moves to give Rory a solo, Blaine backs him up, they're all friends. The fact Finn is so decent the rest of the episode makes what eventually happens extra frustrating.

"You're skinny, like all the crops on your family's farm failed.", Rory, I adore you

Now, here's a part where the whole Incident could have been avoided if the writers had just remembered one thing that they established earlier--insults don't roll off Santana. She can dish it out but can't take it. But no. Drama.

Quinn's dodgeball faces are perfect. Of course she's the dodgeball-as-an-outlet-for-repressed-rage girl

Also I adore that at all points in the game, there are random players just flying through the air

I fundamentally disagree with Kurt's assessment that dodgeball is bullying--it was one of but a few things we did in PhysEd at school that I liked. However, the way the Troubletones attacked Rory was plain mean.

I love protective Kurt. Bullying is such a sore spot for him, and he will rise to anyone's defence.

"I sound just like her" --Sugar, you are brilliant

Now observe--both Mercedes and Shelby tell Santana to back off Finn, because there's no point to the feud. Santana has an option here--she could stop, or she could keep going.

Also Brittany's response to Mercedes making herself leader is gold.

And then the Hallway Scene. I really really really wish I could have more sympathy for Santana because nobody deserves to be outed, but this lead up makes it really hard.

I also paid close attention to what Finn was doing during this scene. As Santana talked, managing to hit every one of his insecurities (his weight, his comparative mediocrity in comparison with Rachel, the fact his future is more or less hinging on riding Rachel's coattails, the fact he slept with her and neither came away happy etc.) you can see him slowly getting madder and madder, and then boom.

I am not defending Finn. He's not the brightest, but that's no excuse for discussing her sexuality in a crowded area where anyone could hear--and they do. However, I do think that it wasn't intended as an outing per se. He was primarily focusing on what he perceived as cowardice (which it really isn't), rather than trying to say anything homophobic, or intentionally yelling 'hey everyone, Santana Lopez is a lesbian'. Once more, I don't condone his actions--he took a cheap shot, he was thoughtless, and he endangered Santana, I just wanted to...nuance the discussion. (I would also like to add, that I hate that the outing is turned into a 'Finn was doing it for her own good' in the next episode--Finn was retaliating and hitting her where it hurt, nothing more)

Once more, Sue's political ads. I wonder how Carole responded to either of the implications a) that Burt is cheating on her with a donkey or b) she is the donkey

Puck is actually very sweet with Beth and I love that.

Next pet peeve--Mercedes is team captain of the Troubletones. Shelby knows that Santana has been crusading against Finn for seemingly no reason. Why then did she let Will pit Santana (and not Mercedes) and Finn against each other in the coin toss

Also Rachel is hilarious at how ridiculously aggressively she responds to Finn winning the toss.

You Make My Dreams/I Can't Go For That is actually brilliant. The costumes are fantastic, the choreography is fun, Rory and Tina get exposure, the girls' skirts and hair is so cute, and they are all having the times of their lives.

Brittany vaguely frustrates me throughout the presidential campaign arc, but then she does that a lot. Brittany is very up-and-down for me as a character.

Rachel being a selfless friend!! Yes, Rachel!! Love that for her.

Quinn in early Season 3...sure is a ride.

Also here, even Brittany is telling Santana to lay off Finn, to which Santana responds that manatees have thick skin. I am trying so hard to be sympathetic to her, but she makes it so difficult.

And now the scene. I love Sue taking responsibility for once. I love that for Sue

Now comes the bit where Naya Rivera's acting makes me feel sorry for Santana. That 'I haven't even told my parents' is so heartwrenching.

My unpopular opinion is that I prefer the Hall & Oates mashup to the Adele mashup. That said however--Santana sounds stunning. STUNNING. Her dress is also really pretty, even if I find the costumes a bit plain compared to the ND's. I don't find that the songs suit Mercedes incredibly well, but everything about Santana's performance redeem it, along with Britt's worried faces.

I genuinely believe that Finn was only saying that the Troubletones were good, however he probably did deserve the slap. Once more Naya acts the heck out of this scene

There's my two cents about this very controversial episode.

[blaintism]

Name five scenes that show off Blaine’s best qualities?

sorry for taking a couple days to respond I knew I'd really have to sit and think this one out!

the first scene that comes to mind is when finn basically baits him into thinking he's going to get a solo but is actually talking about rory. while like 90% of the other glee characters would yell at him, storm out, or slap somebody, he just says it's a great idea and rory will do a great job. I think it's something people get wrong about his character all the time, that because he sings a lot he's a diva the likes of rachel. I know anderberry is popular but I think they're more disimilar than people think. rachel throws a fit when things don't go her way. the kick to blaine's character is whether he gets something good or not he doesn't mind. I think it's a really endearing quality. he loves singing, and does it whenever he gets the chance, but he also is so positive about sharing the spotlight in a way that's sort of rare on the show. another example to this point is that he was willing to not audition for tony for kurt, or that he always is featured in group numbers or a duet in competitions after joining NDs.

which reminds me of the whole thing in season five where tina offers him a solo for nationals because everyone agreed he deserves it for working hard, and then like two episodes later when he got valedictorian they're mad he got a solo because he gets 'handed things' but they were the ones who handed him this thing. and then he doesn't perform a solo at nationals and does a duet with tina, who was the one mad at him also. what. anyways. back to the question at hand LOL

secondly we always have to acknowledge the scene at the end of prom queen. i think it's a really beautiful moment of character growth. blaine in season two is clearly someone who went through some things and is very afraid because of this, and we get this very special moment where he faces his fears for kurt. to me it shows his heart. he loves sooo big

a third thing i really like is blaine standing up for jane in season six. at first he's a little thrown off by the whole thing but he ends up being fully behind her and i think it shows a good quality that even after the vote when she maybe doesn't even want to be in the group anymore he threatens to quit. just wants to make things right either way!!

fourthly can i just say a lot of his relationship with sam? in general i think the way he handles having a crush on him shows this quality he has in sort of putting those he cares about before himself (not always so much to the healthiest degree.. but he's sweet). he really wants to make people happy. i think for the last scene i can point out this in a lot of his friendships but i think i'll refer to my favorite: tina. particularly when he's concerned about her in the season five premiere so he schemes to make the guys take her to prom. that's his best friend who is so mean and he just wants to help her. anyways this has been long and gone a little all over the place but here you go.

[the-firebird69]

And there's a few other comments going on that are wrong and the idiot is sitting there as usual being a pests this is no I think that's the street light being in the nuisance that might be you ohh yeah that is me. It came from Korea not Japan and he says how can you tell and it's just the style it's a little heavier so he's asking why would that be like the coyote X2 well the seats before that they were a little less springy yeah they didn't have springs but they had a big cushion so the springs are going downwards into the right direction and it saves the whole vehicle but it's not there at all so I think that might be the correlation what we went through and it's a weird thing it's about thinking through the design and they're supposed to be doing that. So in essence they're saying that this particular vehicle which is the black car and it's the same concept as the Kia Optima for Osh. So it does not offer him any way to save money. Is limited in the speed that he can go by the design and it's not because it's a mismatch it's because it didn't modify the Korean chassis suspension which might be true but we don't think so because you have to put the tires and rims on but he says he can do it without doing it by putting wider tires on the back with a different rim design it's the same size rim in height but the way that it attaches to the hub is different it should attach in the middle and it will still extend out and he says it doesn't and he says most rims don't and it's not true most are in the middle And what happens is you do get shaken about a little bit if you go too fast so he'll be limited in speed because of that if he doesn't extend the suspension which is an enticement to me

tommy f

We do understand what he's saying. There well the coyote X2 was being constructed and we know we were there when it was being constructed and we know what it's built like and we do know it's on the stinger of Tommy F and we understand that You're saying that the suspension is not done right but Trump is driving it himself and using it it's your chassis and it's analogy and his people are following. It is done correctly the tire and rim they are centered on the hub. Truthfully you'd go about 45 miles an hour and it would start vibrating like hell. Now son tells you to do these things 'cause he doesn't give a **** but really it's hard to find that and he's kind of saying earlier you wouldn't listen that you can put a tire that's wider on a regular rim and they kind of squeeze it on there and sometimes it works you cannot put 50s on a 60 no but the slightly wider you can do it but not like we're we're talking about a tire that is about 15 inches wide it's one foot three inches or one foot 4 inches wide it's very big it's very wide a good example is the averaged 5 foot 11 person it's the length of your forearm from the tip of your elbow to your knuckles when straight it's pretty big and if you had a rear drive or mid drive you'd have rubber all over people and they put it in there after they get it and that's the coyote X and soon the coyote X2 because Tommy will take it trump willhadn ti to our son to blame im for tommy f being incapacitated. nd it did not work last time appeared to. but yeh tommy f makes it happen. and trump but ok. due to idiocy. and ahha alol is one he says. she too and oh boy she says...no money for gas but the first coach mb.and we laugh was it. yes it was. No narrating what's going on here is kind of aggravating when you go in and out of the driveway you have to rinse your tires and rims and they don't want them to do that it's a dangerous car and Dave got it because he had to escape people but our son needs it to escape the area and we went over this early on we did say that he had other vehicles and he needed them to move stuff around but it's true at first he had his horses and other people were getting him things in housing him before he was elected general We couldn't use the funds to get the house or the truck He needed to escape people holding on to him. And in this case people holding in Connecticut and they said it earlier they were the pseudo empire and they just sat in there and they were trying to take over New England while he's stuck in Connecticut There are a few reasons and it has to do with the clan and has to do what they're doing and that's what he did they did it for and Mac is saying it just like him and our son says no I'm not and you're trying to punish a huge group but and he said OK but it's really the mac proper so the question is when does he get this thing And the answer is Mary the wife of JC had spring loaded her seat between two pieces of thick reinforced leather with a flat plate and her **** going up and down the air less ....... But he says doesn't it make that the rickshaw and no it detracts from it somehow you're done going on horsepower because the motor is like not even one horse you can go 20 miles an hour with a horse for about 8 hours ooh good and it can pull a load like 400 lbs about three miles it says that's what I have is three miles yeah so it's not the same it's about towing it and you can't and it's true it's not direct analogy for Christ sake it's not a three Wheeler and you need you need to be in a three Wheeler with a seat and Tommy F says he used to have a cover on it and it was for wind and rain and it was small in aerodynamic and it was hardened it was a very unique cover and he says so like on the new motorcycle where they train and close it it's a nice good to answer right there. so this is theanser. and it is not speed racer. leeds to it though. and is later dan vs his father lol

Thor Freya

oh shit

trump

Olympus

same ole situatin ok im ok. see it they do the same. and he is ok. but i am better off andgood should be. lol. hahaha lol her seat dmanit ahahah get out of here and ok my design true

Hera

[flownintothesun]

⋆ ✰ ⋆ ───    [ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞 ]: 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐲, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐭-𝐨𝐟-𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧. (𝐖𝐞𝐬 @ 𝐌𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐎𝐝𝐲𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐲?)

                ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ─── a closed one-shot for @batteredoptimist.

      𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐈𝐓. Things have been on a progressively downhill slope for some time now; but it really hadn’t been until the appearance of the cane that Muriel’s sour mood had reached its pinnacle. They’d made it as badass looking as they could — Westley dipping into Coco’s funds to get him a raven head at the hilt. In the end it had been between that and a horse. Muriel had always said black horses were pretty badass, but being as black was out of the question — he’d landed on a raven instead.

       “You uh,” he asks, rounding Muriel’s bedside and settling in. The telly’s got some Italian soap opera on, and Muriel’s got the guise of half-watching it, “Gonna tell me what’s going on with Maria and Bernardo today, or d’you think you’d maybe rather tell me what all of this is about?” He’s sitting close, but he still has to make an effort to raise his voice from its normal octave, even though he’s on Muriel’s good side. He’s been in the habit of mumbling for too long, and now he’s trying to overcome it for the sake of his husband. A lot of things have changed, a lot of thing have had to change.

       If looks could kill, the one Westley’s husband gives him now might land him right beside him in a hospital bed. “Muriel,” he says, gently as he can muster, leaning down to kiss his husband’s temple, “I love you with all’a my heart, you know that, yeah? But you’ve got me ‘nd James worried. We still uh...we still need you, you know? Just as much as ever.” Because it’s always been about that when it comes down to it — the way Muriel shows his love is by *doing*. He’s the protector, the guardian, the strong one, the cook, the rock. And now he thinks he’s had all of that stripped away from him. “Just because some things will take time...”

      And shit if that’s not the wrong thing to say, because Muriel rolls to the other side, and Westley’s heart gives a sharp pang. He can’t bring back what Muriel’s lost, wants to make it better and can’t. It had been different when their James had been in this room — always hopeful and with a sunny outlook, surrounded by his plants. Muriel had been able to feed off of that energy then. But now all the fussing is about him, and he’s turned into a grumpy old man for it.

      “You’re alive, y’know,” Westley says, petting through his hair, “And while that came at shit for cost, y’know that me and James would’ve given everything we had just to know you’re still here with us. So things might be different now. And it’s gonna take a lot of getting used to, and it’s gonna be fucking hard. But when’ve you ever given up, love?” He’s soft here, because the words he’d just spoken hadn’t been. But as far as Westley’s concerned, this is still a happy ending because he’d been there when Muriel’d crashed, when he’d nearly died. Westley had been on the floor and James had walked out of his room still half shattered, and if only Muriel knew how loved he was. If only he knew what he’s worth, just the way he is.

      Westley’s tried handing over the bank accounts, tried to cheer Muriel up with his favorite foods. It’s been no use. “How can I help, handsome? We don’t keep secrets, remember? You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life, and it’s gonna be a long one, so you might’s well tell me. Yell if you need to yell, cry if you need to cry, but don’t be indifferent. ‘S not who you are. That doesn’t change because some asshole thought he could break you. You’re still Muriel, and I’m still Westley, and me ‘nd James are still here, we love you. Don’t shut us out, gorgeous. Together or not at all, remember? Together or not at all.”

[average-tennis-ball-enthusiast]

recent happenings

tw: rant

so i just kinda realized something huge about what's been happening in my life. i was in a group at my school with 7 or 8 people, most of whom in the same grade as me. and throughout the latter part of 2021 through basically all of 2022, i was friends with them, and would do things with them. after i built up my trust with them, i would start hanging out with them outside school, and we all had a good time. now here's the thing: most of them are neurotypical. which meant, as an asexual nd cisgender guy, i never really got some of what they would do. but i would do my best to listen and to understand. everything was all good and dandy until around mid-to-late october. now granted, i was in a bit of a downward mental health spiral then, considering a handful of hard things happening then, but i would reach out to them and offer to take them places, and they would accept, right? i took a group of myself and 3 others to mcdonald's, and paid for everyone (which was about $23), and i didn't get much in return. i let it go because it was my treat. i took one of them to wendy's to get food because he was hungry before band practice, didn't get ANYTHING back. i also took him to walmart, stopping at dutch bros along the way, my treat. only paid for my drink because thankfully dutch bros is awesome and makes drinks for both people if only one can pay, and only makes them pay for the one drink. but at the same time, i was using my own car, my own gas, and my own money to do these things. i wanted to wait to tell the entire group that i was beginning to expect some form of compensation in return, but i felt like that time never came. i mentioned it to the same dude i took to walmart and wendy's and mcdonald's, and i'm like 98% sure that he told the rest of the group WITHOUT letting me know, and there it began. people would start picking at me, mostly those associated with the same guy i told, for a variety of things. first i'm venting without warning into the group chat (which is understandable, it can't always be dealt with), but meanwhile someone else is doing SCOT-FREE. then i'm told i can't make gay jokes around them (even though previously they appeared fine with it, and joked along with me). THEN i'm told i'm just being disrespectful, because i felt like i've just had to walk on eggshells around them because i didnt want to set them off again. then one of them had the absolute AUDACITY TO SAY THAT I DONT CARE. AFTER I ASKED THEM FOR SUPPORT, BECAUSE I WAS SCARED OF LOSING THE OTHERS' TRUST. at that point, i lost my trust in 2 of those folks, and things appeared to carry on as normal with everything else. then, new years eve, the final straw for me. about 9pm that time, it was time for the bereal, where everyone would show what they were doing. 2 of them posted AT THE EXACT SAME HOUSE OF ONE OF MY OTHER FRIENDS, AND THEY WERE HANGING OUT WITH SEVERAL OTHERS IN THE GROUP, AND DID NOT TELL ME ANYTHING. i had always had a feeling since they first started picking on me that they were conspiring against me, someway somehow. that the final fucking straw. i just up and decided to leave the group a couple days later. i no longer trusted them. i had been complacent with their shitty behavior for far too long. there was nothing left for me to salvage out of it. now it's been a week since i left the group chat, and nobody has said anything. from the glimpses of them sitting together at lunch, they seem to be carrying on just fine without me. and frankly, i couldn't give a shit anymore. part of me still wants to remain optimistic that someone would own up and apologize or at least say something, but honestly i'm losing hope of that too. i pieced it all together, and i concluded that i have been manipulated, used, and made to believe i'm a bad friend. i've wanted to just lash out at them in anger for everything, but i won't, despite me wanting to so fucking bad. i want retribution for what i've had to go through. and now i'm in the process of trying to find another group, and i really don't want to trust people anymore. it's just too tiring.