#if we see him break down i will shoot myself bye
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mywritersmind · 5 months ago
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GO OUT WITH ME - LN4
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summary : Lando doesn’t beg. But when it comes to y/n, he can’t help it.
listen up : nothing big to note! just cuteness
word count : 945
⋆。‧˚⋆
“Go out with me.” He says for the third time today, watching me swipe on my strawberry lip gloss. I pocket the bottle into my jeans pocket, crossing my arms over my black vest. I look to Lando who’s behind me in his papaya suit.
“Could you please stop bothering my friend?” Oscar says, sitting on a stool in his own driver's room.
“I will if she says yes.” He looks at me with big blue eyes, smiling. Too bad I have to crush his dreams.
“No.” I shrug and look back to my childhood best friend.
“Why are you even here, Lan?” Oscar leans his head back against the wall.
“What do you mean? I love hanging out with my bestie!” He stands, messing with Oscar’s hair. I laugh a bit and his face lights up, “Go out with me.”
“Goodbye Lando!” Oscar pushes him out the door and slams it in his face. “You know he will stop if you ask him, right?”
I look at my manicure, sighing, “Yeah, I know.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
Lando won. I go to a race to watch Oscar and everywhere I turn, Landos face is being projected onto some screen. I was there in Miami and now I'm here in the Netherlands.
I’m leaving the paddock when I literally run into the man. I told you he’s everywhere!
He’s smiling like I've never seen before, sweaty and laughing before he looks up at me, “Shit, Y/n! I’m sorry.”
“No problem.” I shake my head, “Congrats, by the way.” He bites his lip, his suit unzipped and water bottle in hand.
“Thanks! You must be a good luck charm.” he winks and I'm thoroughly reminded how attractive he is. I won’t go out with him but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate him.
“You going out to celebrate?” He’s walking with me through the hall.
“Nah I want fast food and a movie.” He shakes his head, a curl falling onto his forehead. “Join me?”
“Bye, Norris.” I walk out the door.
I can practically hear the smile in his sweet accent, “See you later, Y/l/n.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
I knock on Oscar’s door repeatedly, “Open up, Idiot!”
No reply.
My stupid best friend hasn’t responded to me all night, we had plans for me to cheer him up after his crappy race but he’s totally ditching me!
“That’s my room.” I freeze when he speaks. The British accent is one that I will not confuse with Oscars.
I slowly turn to Lando, “Oh.”
“Any reason you’ve come for a visit?” He holds a bucket of ice and a dutch chocolate bar. “Change your mind about the date?”
I pull my lips into a thin line, “No! I’m looking for Oscar.”
He walks closer to me, “We switched rooms. He's a level down.”
“Shit.” I roll my eyes, “You think he’s asleep?”
“Definitely. Seemed wiped after today.” He shrugs and eyes the bag I'm holding.
I was supposed to cheer him up after a crappy race, I bought all the Australian treats I could find, “Great.” I sigh. ”He’s leaving tomorrow morning so now I’m stuck with all these snacks.”
“Snacks?” Lando almost laughs, “Poor you, stuck with food.”
“Australian snacks! We were supposed to watch ‘How to lose a guy in ten days’ and he was supposed to complain about it!” I frown, I don’t get to see Oscar often even though he’s just come from break, I barely saw him.
Lando unlocks his room, “I’m sorry. I’d invite you in but I'm assuming you’d say no.”
“Lando Norris… Are you giving up?”
His head shoots up when I say it, “No! I’m respecting your wishes.” He opens the door and walks in, clearly waiting for me to make my decision.
I push past him and jump the snacks onto his bed, “Oscar told me you don’t like tim tams.”
⋆。‧˚⋆
An hour later I find myself watching Oscar and I’s movie with Lando. He’s actually really funny, and genuinely thinks this movie is hilarious.
I’m caught looking at him, “Everything okay?”
I nod slowly, pretending like I wasn’t just examining his face, “Can I ask you something?” He nods, “If I said yes… to a proper date- what would you do?”
He smiles, “Probably jump for joy, if i’m being honest.”
I roll my eyes.
“You know I don’t just ask you out on some whim right?“ He’s being serious. “I like you. I want to get to know you more.” He says it so casually but I can tell he’s nervous.
I can’t breathe, “More than just Oscar's friend?”
Lando shakes his head, toying with a candy in his hand, “You’ve always been more than Oscar's friend.”
“Then, yes.” I’m certain this time.
“Yes?”
“Yes i’ll go out with you.”
He blinks.
“You better not be joking.”
“I’m not!” I laugh and he puts his head into his hands, “Lando!”
“I knew you’d come around!” He points at me before pausing again, “This isn’t some pity thing, right? Just because I’m alone after I won doesn’t mean I’m all sad or something!”
“Lando.” I try but he keeps going.
“I did win, after all! And I don’t want you to say yes because of that either because it’s cool and all but I am more than a win also I swear I have other friends besides Os-”
“Lando!” I laugh and grab his face. He stops speaking, “I want to go out with you. Because you’re you.”
I can feel his heart beating, “That’s good.”
“Very good.” I agree. His smile hits me once more and I match it, “You’re cute.”
“I think I'm dreaming.”
note : race was TOUGHHH today😭 had to write smt happy to cope. loved it for charles tho can’t lie! hope you enjoy!
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missdynamighttt · 22 days ago
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Hii, I hope you had a very happy holiday and that you are well, I love the way you write! I would like to ask you for something half anguish half soft and whatever you want to add some other thing even if it is spicy.. Something where both the reader and Katsuki are both pro-heroes, The reader tries to take good care of himself during missions and avoids getting hurt so that Katsuki doesn't worry (go crazy about it) But Katsuki doesn't do the same and almost always ends up hurt and worrying the reader and this makes her upset by his lack of reciprocity.. They end up fighting for a moment but end up reconciling. I hope it's not too much to ask, bye, kisses🙏
⋆˚࿔ kia's note ˚⋆ hi hun!! hope you had a very happy holiday too<333 that means SO much to me, thank you lots!! its not too much at all, i hope this met your expectations and i hope you enjoy it. byeee, kisses <333 (disclaimers: handjob in a hospital, nipple play, mentions of breeding kink, calls you mommy, switch katsuki (gets really subby in the end))
katsuki was on his bed in the infirmary, covered in bandages and scratches. he had gotten himself injured again during a battle with a villain.
you walked into the room, face filled with anger and concern. you quickly made your way towards his bed and looked at him, obviously frustrated.
"my fucking god, katsuki.."
katsuki looked at you with a mixture of annoyance and guilt. he knew he had upset you by getting injured again this badly but that didn't matter to him.
"what? i'm fine."
you tried to blink back your tears as they threatened to escape, lips curled into a stubborn frown. "you look anything but fine."
katsuki rolled his eyes, still trying to act nonchalant about his injuries. "i've had worse. you know that. i'll heal up in no time."
he huffed slightly as he attempted to shift his position on the bed, causing a small wave of pain to shoot through him, but too stubborn to show you his signs of pain.
"we have the same damn job," you snapped, holding his arm and helping him up. your eyes narrowed, words filled with irritation and worry. but you don't see me acting like a reckless idiot, do you? i may get a few scrapes and bruises, but i don't look like I've just stumbled out of a warzone."
"i'm not acting reckless. 'm just doing my damn job," katsuki grumbled as he grudgingly allowed you to help him. "and besides, you're always avoiding getting hurt. you never take any risks, so it's no fuckin' surprise you don't get hurt."
you widened your eyes at him in disbelief, shaking your head in frustration. "no risk?"
"yeah, no risk. you always play it safe, you never take any chances, you always avoid fighting any shitty villains that might be too damn dangerous..." katsuki trails off, noticing the look on your face and realizing that he might've struck a nerve.
"playing it safe? is that what you assume i do to prioritize my fucking life?" you let out a scoff of disbelief, lips twisting up in a sarcastic smile. "is that what you think I do when I try to protect myself, so that you don't have to add my name to your growing list of worries?"
katsuki's expression softened slightly. he knew deep down that she was right, but he wasn't ready to admit it.
"it's not about that. it's about getting the job done. sometimes that means taking risks."
"excuse you. i get the job done just fine. at least i don't look like i've been trampled on by a hundred fucking bulls."
"yeah, well, at least i'm not afraid to get my hands dirty."
katsuki knew that was a low blow even as he said it, but his pride was too wounded to backtrack now.
your emotions finally breaking through the facade of toughness as you bit your bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.
"damn it, katsuki," your voice cracked slightly. "all i'm asking is to keep yourself safe. do you even realize how much it hurts me, seeing you injured over and over again, knowing i can't do anything about it? its like.. you don't care. then you go ahead and insult how i do my job and..."
kasuki's expression softened further as he saw the tears in your eyes. he knew he messed up.
"sweets, i... i didn't mean what i said. you're great, okay? the damn best. i just.. wanna do my damn job. i don't want to hold back and let someone get away with shit because i was being too careful."
you let out a huff of frustration, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand.
"doing your job properly doesn't mean throwing your life away, katsuki. what if something happens again, and.."
your pause as tears welled up your eyes, finally rolling down your cheeks like a waterfall. you tried to wipe them away, movements aggressive as your sniffles growing louder despite the attempts to keep them silent.
katsuki watched as you wiped away your tears, guilt gnawing at him. it was a sight that never failed to clench his heart. he reached out and gently gripped your arm, pulling you closer by the edge of the bed. "hey, c'mon. don't... cry, dammit."
"i'll be fine, i always do," he continued, his voice softer than usual. he crooks his finger to tilt your head up at his gaze. "even if i look like i got trampled on by a hundred fuckin' bulls."
he repeated your words back to you with a small grin. you huffed when you realized he was trying to lighten the mood, giving his arm a gentle nudge as you pouted at him.
"i... i can't lose you. not again, katsuki," you sniffled, lower lip trembling slightly as you kept your emotions in check. "okay?"
katsuki's smirk faded as he heard the raw vulnerability in your voice, the memories flooding his brain back when he almost lost his...
"sweets... i'm not going anywhere, okay?" he repeated, his voice serious now. "i promise." he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you in a tight embrace.
you huff, calming down in his arms a little as you appreciate the warmth of his embrace and the sound of his steady breathing.
meanwhile, katsuki held you close, feeling your body relax against his. with a sigh, he buries his face in your hair, taking solace in the feeling of your in his arms. he hated seeing you upset, and he hated himself for being the cause of it.
"i'm sorry."
"hmph. you better be."
you sigh as katsuki chuckled slightly, the feeling of your fingers in his hair sending a shiver down his spine.
"i am. i won't be so reckless next time. i'll be more careful, i promise."
"if you don't?"
"if i don't? what, you'll come kick my ass yourself?"
"katsuki."
katsuki takes a deep breath before letting out a long sigh, looking up and his gaze fixed on you.
"if i don't..." he begins, tucking a strand of hair behind your hair. "i just won't. i don't want to put you through that again. i'll keep my word. for you, sweets. okay?"
you nod, your pout giving way to a more relaxed expression as you sank deeper into his embrace. you were a little more relaxed now that he gave you the reassurance you needed. he just needed to recover, and then—
you suddenly felt a slight shiver run through your body as you register the feeling of katsuki's lips on your neck.
katsuki grins when he noticed your slight surprise, continuing to place soft kisses along your neck, pausing occasionally to nibble on your earlobe.
"you worry too much, you know that?" he whispered in between kisses.
"only because i care about you..." you breathe, your voice a little breathless as you leaned into his touch. you really, really couldn't hide the effect his touch had on you.
katsuki's smirk returned as he heard you gasp, the sound sending a wave of heat through his body. he moved his mouth to your jawline, trailing kisses along your skin.
"i know you care about me," he murmured, his breath warm against her skin. "and as much as i love seein' you get all feisty when you're worried about me... i promise i'll be more careful from now on."
"okay...good," you hum softly as he continued peppering kisses down your body. "glad we.. cleared that up."
katsuki chuckles, his lips still against your neck, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. "yeah, we did."
you had to bite your bottom lip when he moved his lips, nipping at your collarbone. "and now that we have that settled..."
"there's somethin' else i'd like to do."
your eyes widened in surprise as you realized what he was hinting at, heat spreading across your cheeks. "w-wait—"
katsuki grinned again when he noticed how bashful you were getting. he loved it when he could get you all flustered like this.
"what?" his lips hovering near your ear. "you don't want to?"
you shook your head, your desire warred with concern. there was a part of you that wanted to give in to the moment, but practical senses prevailed. he was still recovering from his injuries, and you weren't about to risk his health for an orgasm.
"i..." you began, voice shaky with a mixture of desire and reluctance. "yes, i want to... but not here. and not while you're still recovering, dammit."
katsuki pouted slightly, clearly disappointed. but as much as he hated to admit it, he knew you were right.
"tch, fine. but don't blame me if i start goin' crazy from recovery boredom."
he paused, a sly smirk appearing on his face. "although... i could think of a few ways you could keep me entertained while i recover."
you tilt your head with a raised eyebrow. "like?"
"well... you could start by just cuddlin' with me while i rest," he teased, his voice low and suggestive, tugging you closer to the bed so that you could cuddle him. "or maybe you could give me a few kisses here and there... you know, to help me heal faster."
"oh?" you smile, scooting over the bed and snuggling up to him. "did the doctor approve of that?"
"doctors are overrated," he says in mock-offense as he wraps an arm around you. "they all say the same things. rest and fluids, blah, blah, blah. where's the fun in that?"
"besides..." he leaned in closer with a grin, his voice dropping to a whisper. "who needs a doctor's approval when i have a beautiful woman like you to take care of me?"
you scoff, nudging his arm softly and roll your eyes, running your fingers through his hair. "as much as i'd love to take care of you, i'm scared we might get caught."
"what, afraid of getting caught in the act?" he asked with a mischievous grin. "come on, it'll be fun."
he could tell you were still reluctant. so, he pulled you even closer, his hands roaming up your hips and resting on your waist, his lips brushing your ear when he spoke. "we'll be discreet, i promise. just a few kisses... no one will ever know."
"i'd rather if you just focus on recovering."
"a few kisses ain't gonna set me back. i'm fine, sweets. i heal fast, remember?"
"then, if you heal fast, i doubt you need me to kiss you, right?"
"you think i can't handle a few kisses, is that it?"
you grin at his pout and shrug. "i think you can't. because then you're going to take it too far."
katsuki rolled his eyes, mock-offended. "i have no idea what you're talkin' about. i'm a saint."
he leaned back against the pillows, narrowing his eyes at your reluctant gaze and giggles. "besides, i'm in no condition to do anything strenuous right now. a few innocent kisses won't hurt."
you huff, exhaling in a soft sigh as your pout deepens. your eyes flicker to his, searching for any kind of reassurance. you didn't want to set back his recovery by going too far but who were you to deny him the kisses he needs? "you promise?"
"a few innocent kisses, that's it. no funny business, no getting carried away," he paused, reaching out to take your hand, his thumb tracing circles on the back of her hand. "just a few little kisses to keep me entertained while i recover."
after a moment, you gave in with a sigh, nodding in reluctant agreement.
"fine..." you muttered, your tone a little sulky.
but your gaze flickered to him, your narrowed eyes meeting his with a hint of heat. slowly, you lean in closer, your breath catching in your throat as you prepare to initiate the kiss.
katsuki grins as he tilted his head slightly to meet you halfway, his eyes closing in anticipation.
"that's more like it," he murmured, his voice low and sultry.
katsuki reached up to gently cup your cheek, his thumb tracing soft circles along your skin as he closed the distance between your lips.
the moment your lips met his, he let out a soft sigh, wrapping his arms around you as he deepened the kiss. it was slow and gentle, a stark contrast to the usual.. passionate embraces.
but the kiss deepens and katsuki starts to get lost in the moment, you can feel him getting more aggressive and intense. sensing that he's starting to lose control, you give his bicep a gentle but firm squeeze, signaling him to slow down. it acts like an anchor, reminding him to keep his desire in check.
katsuki feels your squeeze on his bicep and realizes that he's getting carried away. he breaks the kiss, panting for air as he tries to regain control of himself.
he looks at you with dilated eyes, his chest rising and falling heavily. "f-fuck.. 'm sorry.. i got carried away..."
you chuckle breathlessly, your own heart racing. you try to reassure him with a soft, affectionate smile on your lips. "it's okay... i liked it."
"damn it. me too. maybe a little too much," he sighs, glancing down at himself and groans at the tent in his pants. "fuck, you're not making this easy. you know how hard it is for an injured pro-hero like me to resist his gorgeous girl? and i'm supposed to be recovering, remember?"
"oh? who insisted on the kisses, smartass?"
"hey, you're the one who agreed to it."
"weirdo," you tease, poking his side gently. "want me to..?"
katsuki's breathing hitches at you looking down at his lap. he knew he should resist. he needed to recover. but the sight of you, looking at his raging boner, and imagining what you'd look like taking care of it, is almost too much for him to handle.
"don't tease me like that, woman. you know what the answer is."
you glance down to admire the obvious tent in his pants, the evidence of his desires clear as day. you can't help but bite your bottom lip, feeling a sudden rush of heat as something aches in between your legs.
"okay," you whisper, reaching down for the waistband of his pants. "just keep quiet f'me, okay?"
katsuki nods, his eyes locked on you as you reach for underneath his boxers. he feels his breath catch in his throat, his body tensing in anticipation.
"yeah.." he breathes, his voice strained. "i'll be quiet..."
katsuki watches as you touch him, his eyes darkened with desire as he feels your hand wrap around his cock, his body already responding to your touch.
"fuck... fuck, you're so hot.." he manages to say, his voice hoarse and gravelly.
you laugh softly, looking up at him, thumbing the tip of his cock thats leaking with pre. "yeah? you think i'm hot, katsuki?"
"mhm.. so hot.." he nods, his breath coming in ragged pants. he closes his eyes, his head falling back against the pillows as he sinks further into the bed. "f-fuck.. feels so good.. keep goin', sweets, fuck.."
katsuki's hips instinctively buck up into your touch, trying to get even more friction. he grips the sheets, his knuckles turning white as he struggles to keep himself quiet.
you chuckle breathlessly, biting down your bottom lip as you slowly fuck your fist on his cock, purposefully slowing down. "you're not keeping quiet, katsuki. what if someone hears us, hm?"
"fuck, you can't do that to me.. don't tease me like that.." he lets out a strangled moan, unable to hide how needy he is for you. he bites down on his lip, trying to muffle his noise. "i'm tryna be fuckin' quiet, i swear.. but it's gettin' really fuckin' hard.. just keep going.."
you smile, a small, sassy grin that dances across your lips. yu shake your head lightly, titling it to one side as you wrap your fist tighter around his cock. "do you need my help to shut you up, hm?"
katsuki nods, his face flushed and his eyes pleading. "yeah. please.. please, i can't keep quiet on my own. i need you.. i need you to shut me up with your tits..."
you stop stroking him a little to shift positions, maneuvering yourself so that he is lying on your lap and his face on your chest. his head rests on your thighs, and you can feel the warmth of his body against yours as you reach out again to stroke him.
"so needy, sweetheart," you tease in a soft murmur, your fingers tantalizing on his cock as you look down at him.
"hmph," he huffs as his hand slips under your shirt, tugging it up quickly before his fingers warm against your skin as they brush against your stomach. it's not like he could tell you that you were wrong.
katsuki tugs gently on your bra, his intentions clear as his eyes lock onto yours. he doesn't break eye contact with you as he pulls your bra down, your tits spilling from the fabric, hard nipples already meeting the cold air and his hot breath.
it doesn't take long before katsuki's mouth immediately latches onto your nipple, moaning softly against the skin as his tongue swirls around your areola.
"you taste so good," he groaned, his other hand touches your neglected breast, rough and insistent as they knead and massage the doughy mound, pinching your nipple. "fuck, sweets.. wanna make you a mommy. get these gorgeous tits swollen with milk..."
"yeah?" a small, sheepish smile plays on your lips as you try to find your words. but it's hard to think clearly, hard to even form a sentence when he's getting handsy with your tits, feeling your cunny clenching with need. "you wanna make me a mommy, sweetheart?"
"yeah," he breathes, his cock twitching with precum as you stroke him. "i wanna put a baby in you. wanna fill you up and get you all nice and pregnant for me. you want that, right?"
your cheeks heat up as he gets more aggressive with your tits, his hands continuing to caress you. "yeah, maybe. so?"
"yeah? you'd like it if i knocked you up, mommy?"
you let out a soft moan, your body arching involuntarily as you try to process the pet-name. whenever he got subby, which was rarely, it always caught you off-guard. you wanted to deny how much it affected you as he caresses you, nibbling on your nipples like a man possessed.
"katsuki... i thought i told you to keep quiet.."
you clicked your tongue at him, your hand moving up and down his cock faster, purposely toying with him. he whines at the change of pace, his head dropping back against your plush thighs before he presses his face against your chest to muffle his moans.
"fuck... i'm sorry, mommy, i'm sorry," katsuki whimpers against your nipples, his tone almost whining and pleading as he looks up at you. "i'll keep quiet, i promise..."
"it's a shame, really," you murmur. "with how loud you are, now i'm thinking if i should even let you cum."
"no, no. need to cum, i'll be so quiet, i promise," katsuki gasps out, sucking your tits sore in between his pleas as he humps your fist.
"don't stop.. i'll be a good boy, just let me cum, mommy-"
"yeah? you think you deserve to after what you did?"
"im sorry alreadyyy," he moans, his voice cracking as he begs. it's hard to believe he's a tough, powerful pro-hero known for how aggressive he is. all brought down to a whimpering, whiny looking mess for you. "fuck, fuck, i'll do whatever you want... just please let me cum. please, mommy.."
katsuki looked like a little boy who wanted his favorite toy as he fondles your tits. he's desperate, he's needy, he's your whining, jacked boyfriend who just wants to cum.
and who were you to deny him what he wants?
"it's okay, baby," your voice is a sultry purr as you look down at him. "since you've been begging real good f'me, you can cum.."
katsuki's eyes flutter shut at your approval, a soft, guttural moan leaving his lips. he's close, so close that it's almost painful, and he's clinging to you like a lifeline. "shit.. sh-shit, thank you, m-mommy... fuck, 'm gonna fuckin' cum, shit-"
he bucks his hips into your hips one last time before trembling beneath your touch, shaking as his cum shoots down your fists, his cock twitching from the release.
you grin as you pump your fist on his cock, helping him ride out his high. your fingers linger on him for awhile before you pull away, licking your fingers off of his slick.
but someone still needed you. katsuki sat up and pulled you closer and he grabs your face in his hands, his lips crashing into yours in a fierce, desperate kiss. he kisses you like he needs you more than air, like he'll die without your touch. he doesn't even care if he's being needy. he just wants you, and only you.
he breaks the kiss for a moment, panting for air as he presses his forehead against yours. "fuck," he mutters against your lips, his voice rough and ragged. "that was... shit, i don't know what to say." he chuckles breathlessly.
"well..." you start with a cheeky grin, your fingers running through his hair. "you could start by saying thank you."
he huffs out a laugh, a tired smile spreading across his face. he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling the scent of your shampoo that he just loves. "thank you, baby. you're perfect, you know that? so goddamn perfect."
you bask in the moment, smiling warmly as you revel in the comfort of the cuddle. his warm, firm body against yours feels like home, and you feel content and complete in his arms.
in that moment, you feel completely content and at peace, as if nothing else in the world matters besides the two of you. you press yourself against him, a silent reassurance that he's here, he's real, and he's all yours.
‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia! ]✧˚₊‧ 。゚•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• 。゚ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧
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strniohoeee · 1 year ago
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i need one with chris who gets all shy like a little girl in love everything reader is there so she takes courage and kisses him
Butterflies
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Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Chris can’t seem to control his emotions around Y/N. After an awkward encounter who will make the first move?☔️
Warning⚠️: NONEEEE. It’s pretty short, but it’s cute or whatever 🤭
Song for the imagine: Talk 2 U- Brent Faiyaz
You don’t need champagne
You’d rather be held tight and maintained
I wanna know everything about you
But first I gotta talk to you
Chris POV
Everything about her…..she made me nervous. I never got nervous around a girl. I mean I talked to a lot of women. I would classify myself as a pro, but with Y/N it was hard.
Her smile, her hair, her eyes, the dimple on her left cheek that showed when she laughed or smiled, the way she tilted her head to listen to you. All of it….it made me anxious with these feelings…I don’t even know honestly
Ask anyone around me. I found all that love shit cringey and embarrassing. I would never be down bad like that for anybody, but my mind started to question that feeling whenever I saw Y/N.
I’ve known of her for two years now. She’s Larrays best friend. When we started hanging out with Larray he brought her around, and soon she became best friends with Nick.
At first it wasn’t an issue, but the more she started to come around the more nervous I got. For a while I played it cool, but then it got extremely difficult.
Especially when we would be left alone, or she’d come over and talk to me. She probably thought I was some immature idiot and felt pity towards me. If my brothers and I ever went out and Y/N was there I’d often not say hi. Pretending I didn’t see her until she came up to me, or my brothers and Larray went up to her as a group.
I could never speak to her alone….embarrassed I’d make a fool of myself. This wasn’t like me, and I started to question who I truly was.
Currently we’re at a house party that Larray threw for the launch of his fragrance line. There were a lot of people here, but nothing unbearable. It was actually a lot of people we all knew.
“You seem nervous” Larray said laughing at me
“Oh…um no I’m good” I said nodding at him
“He is nervous about Y/N showing up” Matt said laughing
“Shut the fuck up” I said smacking Matt
“Why? Just talk to her” Larray said
“He’s scared she’ll think he’s a weirdo” Nick said
“Oh? Y/n?? Never I’m sure she’s head over heels for you” Larray said laughing, but this gave me some false hope
“Just talk to her, oh look she’s coming over” Nick said
“Y/NNNNN” Larray yelled and gave her a hug
“Hiiiii” she yelled and hugged him back
She started to talk with Matt and Nick while Larray walked away to grab a drink. It got quiet so I decided to speak up
“Hi Y/N” I said looking at her
“Oh hi Chris. I didn’t see you there” she said smiling at me
I couldnt even respond to that….she doesn’t even see me. My chances are done.
“Well um I’m going to make my rounds. I’ll see yall around” she said and waved bye to us
“Chris what the fuck was that” Matt said
“Yeah that was painful to watch” Nick said laughing
“Shut up I got nervous okay” I said shaking my head
“Tonight’s your one chance to shoot your shot before one of these other guys get to her first” Matt said
“I don’t know” I said standing up and walking away from my brothers
I had been wandering around the party when I decided to go upstairs to use the bathroom. After coming out I decided to sit in one of the empty bedrooms. The party becoming too much for me
Suddenly I heard the door open and someone came in
“This rooms ta-“ I began to say as I turned around, but locked eyes with Y/N
“Oh sorry” I said shaking my head
“There you are stranger. Where have you been” she said smiling at me
“I’ve been around, but I just needed a break from the party” I told her
“Yeah same” she said walking over to the bed and sitting down
“So…” I began to state but she cut me off
“Listen I’m sorry for saying I didn’t see you back there. I mean I didn’t you were so quiet, but I know it came off rude” she said shaking her head
“Oh no it’s okay! I was being pretty quiet” I said waving at her
“Okay good I didn’t want you to think I hate you or anything, because I don’t” she said looking at me
“I didn’t think that” I said laughing and walking over to the bed sitting next to her
“You’re a nice guy Chris. We should hang out more” she said looking at me
“Uhh yeah yeah” I said
“I mean I’m not forcing you, we don’t have to” she said putting her hands up in defense
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to come off rude. I would love to hang out with you” I said shaking my head
“Perfect! We’ll plan a date… I MEAN DAY we’ll plan a day” she said getting nervous
Her nervousness makes me feel better. I laughed a bit and nodded my head
“Sounds good to me” I said still laughing a bit
“So uhh how’s the party going” I said mentally smacking myself
“Chris” she said laughing
I looked over at her, and suddenly she leaned in. Our lips crashing together in a well needed kiss
Her hand caressing my cheek as my right hand laid on her left knee. Our breathing became heavier as we deepened the kiss.
We pulled away and she smiled at me. Standing up she looked at me
“I’ll see you umm Friday at 8? Meet me here” she said
“Yeah of course” I said looking over at her
“Well umm have a goodnight, and I’ll see you in a few days” she said standing by the door
“Yes for our date. I MEAN-“ I cut myself off
“Yes Chris for our date” she said giggling and stepping out shutting the door behind her
I leaned back on the bed running my hands through my hair. Did I really just kiss the girl of my dreams? And do we really have a date on Friday??
All I had to do was talk to her….insanity
The End
I know this one was short, but I found it cute! I hope you enjoyed and thank you all for the support. I LOVE YALLLL🥹🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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cherribabeyyyy · 8 months ago
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i can't stop thinking about natasha and sampo: a hyperfixation-induced oneshot
I hear an overly complicated knock at the door and I know instantly who it is. Th children seem to catch on, as well, as squeals of delight erupt among the masses swarming to the door. "He's here! he's here!"
The door opens just a crack.
"Can I come in?" Without waiting for an answer, the door swings open to reveal Sampo, precariously balancing several crates chock full of items. "It's me~!"
A sigh breaks its way through my smiling lips. Most of those things are medical supplies that I desperately need to start organizing and distributing, but that'll be impossible with the sea of kids between Sampo and I. And that's if I can even get to him before he drops it all. "Alright, everyone, settle down," I say, trying to get ahead of the frenzy. Sampo begins shifting to narrowly avoid dropping a crate as he sees the masses move toward him. "Uh... Hi, hey how you doing... Oh- pardon me..."
With some more encouragement the sea finally parts and allows me to reach him. My next words come out softly-- a stark contrast from my previous tone. "Hello, you."
"Hello to you too," says Sampo, flashing me his signature grin. He turns to the crowd, always eager to please even when uncomfortable, "Here we have everything you asked for on your list, and more, Miss Natasha and company, because that's just how you do it when you're Sampo Koski!"
I smile back. "Well, on behalf of myself and the children, we thank you. Now, could I start taking those off your hands before disaster strikes?" He tries to brush me off, convince me he's fine, but I start taking them anyway. I can hear the quiet sigh of relief he lets out when his hands are free. Relief quickly turns back to discomfort as one child pulls on his pantleg. "Did you bring us any toys, mister Sampo?"
"Oh, actually, as a matter of fact-" before he can even end the sentence, small hands shoot up all around him. I can't help but giggle as the grabbing motions start and kids are pushing each other's hands out of the way.
"Can I have it? Can I have it?" "No, you got one three times ago, let someone else have a turn!"
I clap my hands as loud as I can in a simple pattern. The first time about half of the horde repeats the pattern back to me and sits down cross-legged. The second time, almost everyone, and by the third clap the room is quiet and attentive once more. "I will be giving out the toys for kids who are on their best behaviour this week, so you'd all better be well behaved!" A few children visibly sit up straighter at this announcement.
A hand shoots up, wiggling its fingers.
"Yes, dear?"
"Um, can we at least see what the toys are," squeaks a little girl. "so we know if we want them?" I shake my head. "Seele, are you asking to PEEK at the surprise? Wouldn't that be... cheating?" Upset covers her tiny face in a flash. "NO! I would never cheat at anything."
"Aw, c'mon," Sampo suddenly interrupts. "Maybe I can give them a hint? Just a small one!" This, of course, causes the room once again erupts various voices saying something to the effect of "please, miss Natasha?" I make a mental note to once again ask Sampo not to rile the crowd against me for social gain within the orphanage. "Fine," I concede, "just one."
"The thing is..." he shout-whispers, crouching down to be closer to the children, "its a special toy. A really special one. So special, I can only think of one person to give it to." Suddenly I hear whispers break out, often so quickly hushed by other kids that I don't have time to discern what they're saying. I look around the room but nothing gives me any clue as to what's going on. I turn back to Sampo, who seems to be very uncomfortable being so close to the kids but making no effort to move. What is he scheming?
All at once, the children back run outside. Some yell "bye, mister Sampo!" as they run past him. I'm... honestly impressed. "How'd you manage that?"
"Oh, I told them we'd be kissing." Immediately upon seeing my expression, his face flushes and he backpedals. "I didn't- I didn't mean it like that, Nat..." He stops. "Oh, hey, That. Nat! Ha, I didn't even do that on- anyway, I just figured kids hate kissing, right? Grosses them out! Not that kissing you would be gross, of course, but that's besides the point,"
Ignoring him, I stare at the small object in his hand. It glitters in the evening light marvelously. "Is that the toy?"
"Oh, yeah. Well, it's not a toy, but it is what I was talking about." He extends his hand toward me. "For you." On his palm lies a small green stone. I pick it up, running my thumb across its smooth polished surface, feeling its weight in my hand. I ask Sampo what it is.
"Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that you'd like it. Or I hoped you would, anyway." I turn to him and come face to face with big, hopeful eyes. "Do... do you like it?"
I nod. "Yes. Thank you, Sampo."
His shoulders untense and that signature grin returns to his face. "Ok. Good. I'm glad."
I turn around and begin sorting the crates. With the kids out playing, I might be able to get it all done before dinnertime if I start now. I start by making three simple piles: painkillers, medicine, and first aid. Hands busy at work, I continue the conversation with Sampo over shoulder. "Oh, and you were very brave to be so close to the children."
"Ugh, I know, right? I could see the snot coming out of so many noses, Nat. So. Many. Noses." He shudders. "I don't know how you do it every day, being around all these little... guys." I can't help but to giggle and reply, "same way I handle being around you: be careful not to indulge you too much lest you get too riled up."
"Aw, hey, that's not very nice! After all I do for you!" He protested, walking around the desk so he could show me that he had his hand over his heart. "How rude, miss Natasha! I have half a mind to walk out that door right now!"
I briefly look up at him to show him the disbelief on my face before returning to organizing. "and you'd come running back when you remember no one else would hire you."
It was Sampo's turn to laugh. "Oh, you know I'd figure something out. I wouldn't be Sampo Koski if I wasn't-"
"Crafty?"
"I was going to say resourceful, but that works too. Regardless," he said, moving closer to me, "you just like having me around." I turn to him, ready to shoot another look of disbelief, but I didn't realize how close he was to me. I move my eyes up to properly meet his expression this time, and it's.... softer than I thought it would be. The moment I feel my cheeks get warm, I turn back to the supplies. I'm almost finished. "Not as much as the kids like having you around. I fear I'm getting replaced as their favourite."
"Pssht. Please, Nat, they love you. And I mean who wouldn't?" He puts his hand down on the table, now leaning on his arm. "You're like... well, I hate to get so morbid, but you're like the mother they've never had."
My eyes widen as I get a thought. A thought I would normally never be so bold as to speak out loud, but I say anyway: "Would that make you the father they've never had?"
Now its Sampo whose cheeks flush pink as he jumps up, scratching his neck as he fumbles for a response. "I hope not. I'm clearly very horrible with children, as you know and have clearly seen. Many times. Even now, today! The noses, Nat! The noses!"
I place a final roll of bandage into the first aid pile, I raise my head to be face to face with him again. His cheeks flush harder, and before I have time to overthink, I giggle and kiss him on the cheek. "I think you'd be a wonderful dad, Sampo."
"Natasha..." I watch his eyes dart from my eyes to my lips. He starts to slowly lean in. I go to close the gap-
"EWWW! They really ARE kissing!"
Our heads swivel around. Through the window, we can see several children are peeking into the room, many of them with tongues out and pretending to vomit. "GROSS!" Sampo and I slide away from each other, a little embarrassed, but smiling all the same. Making a quick recovery, he stomps outside shouting something about finding the "punks" who spied on him.
Soon the dinnertime bell rings, and its time to say goodbye and goodnight. I watch the children wave to Sampo as they shuffle back inside. Some even get a high-five from the man, who is kind enough to wait until everyone is inside to wipe his hand on his pants. I chuckle at the sight, which causes a sheepish look to spread on his face. I chuckle again. "Goodnight, Sampo."
He smiles, opens his mouth to say something, then shakes his head. Not even ten feet later, Sampo turns back, walking toward me.
"Decided to say it after all?" I ask.
He nods, stopping directly in front of me. "For the record," he says, "Even if you don't like having me around, which I can respect even if I don't believe it-" he says through that classic grin- "I like being around you."
I kiss him on the cheek again, returning the sentiment. "I like being around you, too."
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amor-immortalem · 1 year ago
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The Price of a Soul
Summary: Solaris wishes he could bring back his mother from the afterlife- that he could right the wrong that he has done. He would give anything to make it happen but what could be worth the price of a soul?  
Word count: 5.1k 
Content warning for: natural disaster, and graphic descriptions of wounds. 
A/N: I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to format this as I wanted to try to write it like how a debriefing (is that even the right word? Ehh, I don’t know…) would be written detailing the events leading up to and after a natural disaster but I don’t know if I did such a good job at it…. 
This was supposed to be a one shot for Solaris' Birthday but somehow I lost myself in the writing and ended up with this part being 12 pages... oops.
Anyway, as you read, you’ll see the abbreviation btq. It stands for before the quake. Okay bye!  
・・・〆・・・ 
(24 August, 13:59, one week btq) 
“So, you want me to skip the whole back-to-school open house thing and just spend the day with Solaris?” 
“Do you have anything better to do?” The demon quirks a brow, “Aside from sporting events, you’re not allowed at school functions due to your tendency to get yourself into… trouble. I figured this would be a good way to keep you occupied.” 
Azalea thought for a moment. “What’s in it for me? I had plans to try out for the volleyball team this year- maybe branch out from just track and field… tryouts start that day, y’know.” 
“Nothing specifically other than having an opportunity to break your cousin out of his depressive state for the day. It is his birthday, after all,” Lucifer shrugs, “but if you’re so busy I can ask Melissa, Cyrus, Aurelius, or even Zulima to do it instead.” 
“Wait, no, don’t. I’ll do it.” She’s quick to shoot the idea down. “The only time Solaris ever wants to hang out is if he needs to study and doesn’t understand the material. It’ll be a nice change.” 
“You have my gratitude. I tried talking with him myself, but he seemed… disinterested in the conversation.” 
“Yeah, that tracks.” the half-demon sighs as she rubs the back of her neck. “Yer his dad. Some things are just uncomfortable to talk about with your parents. I got a whole bunch of thing I won’t tell mine…” 
“Such as?” Lucifer quirks a brow. 
“N-nothing.” The teen is quick to divert the conversation before it can get her into trouble, “Don’t worry about it. If it were a big deal, I’d have already come to you about it. Anyway, I gotta get going- I’m s’pposed to meet the boys for lunch ‘n I don’t wanna be late. Bye!” 
Azalea’s out the door before Lucifer can even get a word in edgewise. 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 09:00, 11 hours btq) 
The week passes quickly, and the day is finally upon them. Azalea found herself just waiting around in her uncle’s living room for Solaris to show his face for the day. Lucifer had given her his credit card and one sole instruction: Use the card to give his son the best day ever. 
After an hour of waiting, the half-demon is getting irritated and frustrated with just sitting around. She marches her way up to her cousin’s room and kicks open the door. 
“Rise ‘n shine, fucker! We got shit ta do ‘n daylight’s a-wastin’!”  
The sudden commotion frightens the black-and-orange-haired half-demon as he falls from the top of his loft bed, letting out a shriek on the way down. 
The pendant around his neck is now sparking with suppressed demonic magic as Solaris glares up at his older cousin. 
“Azalea, what- and I cannot stress this enough- the fuck?” His glasses are askew on his face. “I was sleeping before you decided to break down my door.” 
“I call bullshit on that. It’s ten in the morning now- you never sleep past seven. Anyway, c’mon, quit yer mopin’ and let’s get moving. Get dressed in something suited for walking. We’re goin’ out. Happy Birthday, by the way.” 
With a few grumbles, Solaris is on his feet. He dusts himself off as Azalea heads back downstairs to give him a little privacy. 
About thirty minutes later, Solaris makes his way downstairs dressed in the most comfortable clothes he owns. 
“Alright, I’m ready. Where are we even going?” There’s a tired irritation in the 16-year-old’s voice. “Wait, did Dad already leave for RAD?” 
“Hmm? Yeah, your old man already took off. Maybe if ya hadn’t been putzin’ around in your room all morning, ya coulda seen ‘im off.” 
“Oh…” Solaris frowns, casting his grey and red eyes downward, “I thought I was supposed to go with him today. It’s the back-to-school event, after all. I was going to get a feel for the campus before classes officially started back…” 
“Ehhh, it ain’t all that special- plus you’ve been to RAD loads of times when you were little.” Azalea sighs. “But if yer that hard pressed to explore the campus, I’ll take ya up there later once the event is over myself.” 
“Don’t worry about it. There’s always another day, I suppose.” Solaris is quick to hide how disappointed he is- how he feels like his father seems to be almost embarrassed to be seen in public with him. 
“Aight,” she slings an arm around the younger teen’s shoulder as she herds him out the door. “Next stop: lunch and then Devil’s Coast!” 
・・・〆・・・ 
31 August, 11:00, 9 hours btq) 
Lunch wasn’t too bad, Solaris thought to himself. He really would have rather stayed in his room feeling sorry for himself all day, however. It didn’t take him long to figure out that his father had asked Azalea to spend the day with him. That she hadn’t done this of her own free will. 
Out of all of his cousins that Lucifer could have chosen, why Azalea specifically? Solaris loves his troublemaking cousin, there’s no doubt about that- in fact, there’s never a dull moment when she’s around- but at the same time he envies her. 
She’s everything he wants to be: Studious, self-assured, confident, strong. She may not see or feel it, but she is highly respected by most of her peers. And most important of all, she’s the pride of the family. And Solaris is… not any of that. The only thing he is a murderer- an embarrassment. 
14 short years ago to this very day, he took the life of his mother and unborn sister with his own claws, rending them to shreds in his father’s absence. Ever since that day, Solaris’ demonic powers have been sealed away by an enchantment his aunt cast on the pendant hanging around neck.  
Why did it have to be her? 
“Solaaaaaris, heeeeyyy,” the boy’s attention is drawn out of his thoughts by Azalea. 
“Sorry- I must’ve zoned out…” is all he weakly mumbles. 
“Man, yer too in your head, y’know that?” Is all the white-and-black haired girl sighs. “This is s’pposed to be a fun day. Don’t spend it stuck in a prison.” 
“You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” Solaris still doesn’t smile although he appreciates his cousin’s advice all the same. 
“Yeah, I would. I know our situations ain’t the same and it would be wrong to equate them, but I still know what yer feelin’.” 
She really doesn’t 
“Anyway, I already paid for our lunch so let’s move on before Devil’s Coast gets too packed.” 
With a nod from Solaris, the pair make their way to the amusement park. 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 19:30, 1 hour btq) 
The pair of half-demons, with the help of Lucifer’s credit card, had a total blast at Devil’s Coast. There was only one attraction left to hit: The Hall of Mirrors. 
“They say it just reopened after being closed to prep it for Halloween.” Azalea smiles as she and Solaris stand at the entrance. The cousins were both avid fans of horror. “Wonder what kinda theming the park went with this year.” 
A cacophony of blood-curdling screams followed by the sound of howling laughter could be heard coming from inside the building. 
“We’ll just have to check it out for ourselves.” Solaris has the brightest, most genuine smile he’s had on his face all day as his grey-and-red eyes sparkle. “I bet they won’t get us with their tricks, right?” 
“Only one way to find out! And if we get separated, just meet me at the exit” And with that, Azalea is charging into the Hall followed close behind by Solaris. 
It doesn’t take the pair long to get separated, wandering around to dead end after dead end. The mirrors had been enchanted with a spell that mimicked the abilities of a bogeyman.  
Things started off small, each of them facing minor fears as they wandered but it wasn’t until Solaris had nearly gotten to the end of the maze-like structure that he came face to face with his worst nightmare. 
There, standing in the mirror in front of him, was an exact copy of his toddler self on the day his demonic powers fully manifested for the first time, a feral, unthinking look in his grey-and-red eyes, glasses hanging around his neck with the lenses broken out. He’s caked in blood and viscera- horns and wings a disgusting mix of red, black, and brown. 
Behind that was his mother’s lifeless body, deep gashes lined her chest as bone and flesh rose up out of the wounds. Her stomach absolutely eviscerated as blood hemorrhages from all the wounds.  
The way her lifeless grey eyes stare deep into Solaris’ soul makes his stomach turn but what finally breaks him are the remnants of what would have eventually been his baby sister in a few months' time. Pieces of cartilage and horn, an arm, a leg here and there- a barely developed wing or two even- scattered on the ground at his reflection’s feet like a broken toy. 
The half-demon falls to his knees huddled over as he gags and wretches, the lunch he’d eaten earlier this afternoon emptied from his stomach as it gushes past his fingers while tears stream down his face.  
“Look at what you’ve caused.” The boy’s head snaps up at the sound of his father’s voice. 
“Dad, I’m-” 
“I left you alone for 20 minutes and you couldn’t even control yourself for that long.” 
“I didn’t- I’m sor- it was an accident! Please!” 
“How embarrassing. I’m ashamed to even call you my son.” 
Those very words shatter the half-demon’s world. Sparks fly from the pendant around his neck as demonic energy starts to seep from it. 
Without any thought, Solaris takes off- runs faster than he’s ever moved in his life- to wherever his feet will carry him. 
Azalea is waiting outside the Hall of Mirrors for her cousin to emerge. It had been a half-hour already since she’d come out on the other side and now, she was starting to worry. 
“It shouldn’t be taking him this long. The maze wasn’t even all that hard…” she murmurs to herself. “Maybe he already went around to the front to wait for me?” 
Jogging around to the front of the attraction, the 19-year-old is confused when she doesn’t see her cousin. The park was closing soon so, seeing no other option, Azalea finds herself heading back to the entrance of the Hall.  
She’s stopped by an employee who’d told her the attraction was now closed for cleaning- apparently some poor sap’s stomach wasn’t able to handle the horrors of the mirrors’ enchantments. 
The news gives Azalea pause. These mirrors had similar abilities to bogeymen and what exactly was Solaris’ greatest fear? She wracks her head for the answer. He’d told her not that long ago so it should be a simple answer. 
In seconds, a massive earthquake rocks the park. Cracks appear in the ground as various demons shriek in horror. Solaris is missing and a giant earthquake nearly levels Devil’s Coast? Azalea doesn’t have a good feeling about this. 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 20:20, 10 minutes btq) 
The back-to-school event is finally winding down to a close. This wasn’t what Lucifer wanted to be doing on his only child’s birthday, but he can only hope that Azalea had made up for it tenfold with whatever plans she had made for Solaris. 
The demon does feel bad. He’s always hated having to choose between his responsibilities as RAD’s vice-headmaster and his responsibilities as a father especially on a day like today, but sometimes, in the end, it couldn’t be helped. He would just have to make up the time tomorrow. 
What a horrible father I am… Leaving my son to celebrate his birthday practically on his own… 
Perhaps, if he left right now, Lucifer would be able to make it in time to take Solaris out for a birthday dinner and then they could open presents together. 
“Thank you again for your help, Lucifer.” Diavolo smiles as he gives his dear friend a pat on the shoulder. “I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.” 
“I’m only doing my job. Nothing more, nothing less.” The demon remains distracted still beating himself up over this. 
“Still, Barbatos and I couldn’t pull an event like this off on our own.” The demon lord’s smile never wavers as he speaks, “We’re done with most of the work. It’s alright if you take your leave. The day may be over but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate what’s left of the night. Also, I have something for your son as well.” 
“Thank you, Diavolo,” Lucifer takes the gift, “I’m sure Solaris will appreciate it greatly.” 
As the Avatar of Pride turns to leave, a massive earthquake rocks the grounds of RAD, knocking out the power, collapsing several of the older buildings on the campus and knocking over entire shelving units and anatomical dioramas in the classrooms not as badly affected. 
Lucifer’s phone rings almost immediately after the earthquake subsides. His heart leaps into his throat when he sees just who exactly is calling. 
“Azalea, what’s wrong?” He tries to hide the worry in his voice as she hurriedly tries to explain what’s happening on her end. “What do you mean you can find Solaris?” 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 20:10, 20 minutes btq) 
He doesn’t know why he’s here, standing in the mausoleum Lucifer had constructed for Solaris’ mother fourteen years ago. Maybe it was the fact of knowing her body was entombed here underneath the statue of her likeness that gave the 16-year-old a small comfort. 
It was always like that for Solaris. Being so young when it all happened, the half-demon never got to fully grieve the loss of his mother. For the longest time, Solaris didn’t even know what had happened to her- the emergence of his demonic powers had not only caused him to run out of control, but the overwhelming pressure of it had broken all the bones in his tiny body. 
Lucifer had only told him a couple years later after Solaris, 5 at the time, asked if his mother would ever be coming home from the human world or if she was too sick from the Devildom’s everlasting darkness to stay with them anymore. Ever since, the teen always comes here when he’s sad or hurting emotionally. 
In the still quiet of this mausoleum, he can cry here and no one but the dead will know of it. 
“I’m sorry!” Solaris sobs, air catching in his throat as he presses his head against the stone at the statue’s feet. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so-” 
The black-and-orange-haired half-demon’s words are cut off in a fit of coughs induced by how harshly he’d been crying and the dust in the environment. His lungs ache from the lack of air as he gasps in between sobs. 
“I wish you were here.” His voice sounds so small, so fragile, as he speaks to his mother’s grave, “I miss you. I wish it was me that died that day- it should have been me! You guys could have just had another kid but you… you were irreplaceable! Nobody else will ever take your place in Dad’s life…” 
The 16-year-old’s body shudders as he takes a breath to compose himself a little more. Crying so harshly as he’s been doing is giving him one hell of a headache. 
“I hate myself… for what I did to you and the baby… all due to abilities that I can’t even use!” His hand comes up to grip the charm on his necklace, the once cool metal now searing hot as the impression of it is branded into the skin of his fingers and palm. “I would give them all up if it meant you could come back to life. My abilities, my life- even my soul! I’d give anything to take your place and pay for my crimes! Just please… come back…” 
Silence falls in the mausoleum once again until Solaris feels a shock to his hand. He recoils as the piece of jewelry breaks apart and the charm hits the ground with a ‘clink-clink’ and rolls away. 
Slowly, the ground begins to rumble and vibrate beneath him. The 16-year-old can only look around and he feels as though he’s being watched by something unseen. Energy is building up in the air around him that makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up as his demon form manifests for the first time in fourteen years. 
And then he feels it: the violent thrashing of an earthquake. Amidst the quaking of the ground, the entrance to the mausoleum had collapsed, leaving Solaris trapped inside while fissures opened up around him as the entire structure tilts onto its side, the statue of his mother topples over leaving her grave uncovered as the teenager is sent flying. 
He can feel the way the back of his skull cracks as he smacks his head on the stone wall. Black spots invade his line of sight as he starts to lose consciousness as the earthquake ceases and he can hear a woman’s voice calling to him frantically. 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 20:40, 10 minutes post-quake.) 
In the wake of what was undoubtedly one of the worst earthquakes the Devildom had ever seen, the Avatar of Pride is out searching for his only child. Lucifer just hoped Solaris was safe and he hadn’t managed to fall into one of the many large chasms in the ground that had opened up during the disaster. 
Azalea had volunteered to search with him, but Lucifer decided she’d serve a better purpose at Devil’s Coast acting as a direct proxy for Diavolo to guide first responders in any search and rescue efforts and evacuation efforts. 
In the back of his mind, Lucifer can’t help but worry that Solaris might have been the cause of the earthquake. Before, when Solaris had first manifested his powers 14 years ago, he’d managed to collapse the foundation of their house. Now that those abilities have had time to grow in strength and stockpile within him, Solaris could easily cause widespread disaster due to his lack of ability to control himself. The very idea of it makes the Avatar of Pride uneasy- sick even. He doesn’t even know where to start looking for his son. What could have even happened for Solaris to ditch Azalea at the theme park to begin with? Something doesn’t feel right- like he’s missing something important. 
There are too many demons on the street- too many that might impede his progress in looking for his precious son so, manifesting his demon form, Lucifer takes to the sky. With a bird’s eye view of the city and extraordinary farsighted vision, the demon can see that the fissures that opened up in the wake of the quake all originate from one central location: the graveyard where his wife was buried. Something was nagging him to take a closer look there, so the graveyard is where he goes. 
Touching ground right in front of Aubrie’s mausoleum, the demon is shocked to see the front of the structure collapsed and caved in. Not only that but the air still crackles with pure demonic energy that’s not too dissimilar from his own. It feels like his worst fear is about to be confirmed. 
Removing the rubble from the entrance is an easy feat for the Devildom’s third most powerful demon, but what awaits him inside the mausoleum, Lucifer could never prepare for. His expectation was that Solaris- his pride and joy- would be shaken up from the earthquake but alive, nonetheless. What he finds is not only his beloved child unresponsive but his dead wife trying desperately to wake the half-demon, begging the boy to respond to her. 
How was this possible? 
The audible gasp he lets out is enough to draw the human’s attention to him. Her face is red from crying as more tears gather in her stormy-grey eyes. 
“Lucifer... He’s not waking up... I-I don’t know what to do.” 
・・・〆・・・ 
When Solaris wakes up, he can’t recall what he’d been doing or where he’d been. All he knows is that he’s surrounded by a deep pitch blackness. 
“Hello?” His voice echoes off non-existent walls. “Is anyone there?” 
“So, you’re awake, are you?” Something (or was it multiple things) in the dark calls out to him. It sounded like there were three voices, maybe more, all garbled and spliced together. It immediately puts the 16-year-old on edge. 
“Who’s there? Where am I?” The back of his head really hurts. 
All at once, the darkness gives way to a shining, golden light as it forms into some kind of creature in front of him. It was bird-like in appearance not too dissimilar to one of his uncle’s crows, but it felt ancient, threatening in a way Solaris had never felt before. 
“I...” the creature pauses, voice raspy and gravely like it hadn’t spoken to another soul in a millennia or five, “answered your pleas. You offered up a bargain and I gave you what you wanted in exchange for a price of my choosing.” 
“Pleas? What pleas? I don’t plea for anything.” Suddenly he can hear his own voice in his head. 
I would give them all up if it meant you could come back to life. My abilities, my life- even my soul! I’d give anything to take your place and pay for my crimes! 
“You offered up your soul if I would return your mother to the world of the living, did you not?” the avian entity tilts its head to the side. “So, I gave you just what you asked for.” 
And Solaris wants to say he wasn’t serious- he didn’t mean it. But he can’t. Those words said in the tomb came from the deepest part of his aching heart.  
“How can I know you’re not lying?” The half-demon asks, “You could tell me anything- lie to me as not to make me an unwilling captive. What are you even going to do with my soul now that you’ve got it? Eat me?” 
“It’s lonely here.” The being’s voice sounds pitiful and child-like now as its body also shrinks to the size of a child. “I’ve been here in the dark for so long- ever since I woke up, maybe even longer perhaps. All I want… All I want is a friend.” 
・・・〆・・・ 
(31 August, 22:40, 2 hours, 10 minutes post-quake) 
How did this happen? How does a dead person just come back to life? 
Lucifer and Aubrie stand face to face in Solaris’ room, their child had been carted off for another battery of tests to see how badly he’d been injured in the earthquake. He was breathing on his own, miraculously, and his body was mostly unscathed but the pool of blood beneath his head in the mausoleum was worrying. A head injury would be more than devastating. 
“Just tell me he’ll be alright, Lucifer.” Aubrie’s voice is hoarse from all the shed tears, “I just want him to be okay.” 
“The doctors are doing everything they can. He will be alright- I'll make sure of it.” It’s a promise the demon’s not sure he can keep. “It’s all going to be okay.” 
It’s quiet between them as he pulls her into a tight, protective hug, burying his face in her hair. She smells of graveyard soil and dust, reminding Lucifer that not too long ago her body had been buried beneath the earth. 
“I missed you...” his voice comes out quieter than it’s meant to be, in fact he’s not even sure if she’d heard him or not. 
“How long has it been?” Aubrie returns the hug. 
“Fourteen years to the day. Depending on the doctor’s findings, once they bring Solaris back, we should go home. We’ll come back tomorrow after we’ve had time to rest.” 
And Aubrie can only nod at that. There most likely won’t be anything more that either of them can do for their son so it’s only logical that they leave and wait for more information when it’s available. 
・・・〆・・・ 
“Man, disaster management ain’t really my strong suit,” Azalea sighs as she sits outside the gates. She was feeling absolutely drained from all the running around she’d done. As the half-demon pulls out her phone, she notices the 30 missed calls from the entirety of her parental unit. “fuuuuuck they’re gonna kill me when I get home... I should call at least one of ‘em and let ‘em know I’m safe.” 
Azalea tries Thirteen first, praying to whatever unholy god is listening that she doesn’t get chewed out by the reaper for not answering her phone. 
“Where are you?” The line picks up immediately and Thirteen sounds absolutely pissed. “Do you know how worried we all were when you didn’t pick up the phone? You’re lucky your mother and father are out having to work disaster relief, or they would be-” 
“I know, I’m sorry!” She knows Thirteen can’t see it but the nineteen-year-old has her head bowed as if she was giving a deep heartfelt apology. “I was at Devil’s Coast with Solaris when this all went down and then Solaris went missing and then Uncle Lucifer put me in charge of managing search-’n-rescue and general disaster management right after. Look, I’ll come home right now, I promise.” 
“You had better.” Is all the pink-and-blue-haired woman can huff out. “I’ll let your parents know you’re safe, but I have to go. I’m getting a call from your uncle for some reason.” 
The line clicks off and Azalea starts to head back home. 
・・・〆・・・ 
“This can’t be good...” Mammon whispers to his older brother as Aubrie and Arella stare each other down. The latter looks like she’s seen a ghost. 
“You’re telling me,” The Avatar of Pride grumbles, “I’m still trying to figure out what the hell even happened at her grave. It has to be some kind of magic...” 
“Maybe it was a trade- a soul for a soul?” 
“Given Solaris’ current condition, I’m not above that being a possibility.” 
“How is he doin’? Ya said he cracked the back of his head pretty badly- any chance that’s gonna have lastin’ consequences?” 
Lucifer doesn’t answer right away, rather he heaves a heavy sigh through his nose. Solaris was breathing on his own and scans of his brain showed that there was no loss of function that might indicate brain death- on the contrary, his brain was incredibly active, and the scans also showed movement in his eyes akin to that of rem sleep. Lucifer doesn’t really know what to make of that. 
“The doctors think he’s just sleeping- that he’ll wake up in the next few days, but Solaris has never been this deep of a sleeper. I’ve always been able to wake him easily and, in the mausoleum, - Mammon he’s not sleeping. That much I can tell you with certainty.” 
“Wouldn’t hurt to have Belphie pay him a visit though. I know ya think you’re never wrong when it comes to your kid, but they could always surprise you.” 
Turning their attention back to Arella and Aubrie is just awkward now. Arella still has that disbelieving look in her eyes. 
“It can’t be...” The black-haired human says softly, “Who are you really?” 
“Rells, it’s really me. I don’t know how or why but I’m-” 
“No.” Tears are forming in her emerald-green eyes. “If it really is you, then show me the scars that formed when I failed to save you that day. I can’t accept any other proof.” 
Aubrie vaguely remembers the time just shortly before her death. How the last thing she remembered seeing and feeling before it all went dark was Arella’s tearful expression and her hands that were placed on her chest and stomach.  
Slowly the orange-haired human begins to unbutton the high collar of her dress shirt to reveal the deep scarring on her chest where Solaris had sunk his tiny claws into her. 
“Oh my god...” Arella brings her hand to her mouth as a gasp escapes her before she tackles her childhood friend in a tight bear hug, sobbing uncontrollably. “You’re alive! I’m so sorry.” 
“I know, it’s okay.” Aubrie’s voice is quiet and calming. “You did your best- that’s all that matters.” 
・・・〆・・・ 
(5 September, 5 days post-quake) 
The Devildom had slowly started to heal from the chasms that had formed in that disastrous earthquake only five days prior. Led by Beelzebub, demons with all kinds of magic based in the element of earth had come together to repair the disrupted ground and damage to housing units and shops. After that came the slow process of rebuilding those areas that had been most highly affected by the forming of the cracks. 
R.A.D. starts back later from its summer holiday break this year and for once, Lucifer is not there working himself to death. He’s with his wife and incapacitated child. 
Solaris still hadn’t woken up from what the doctors thought would only equate to a couple hours’ nap.  
They keep running tests on the half-demon all in an in-vain attempt at rooting out the cause of this mysterious coma. 
“They’re obviously missing something,” Aubrie mumbles to her husband after yet another meeting with the doctors. “I don’t buy this whole ‘just sleeping’ nonsense. 
“Agreed.” The Avatar of Pride nods. “I’ll revisit your grave later today with Barbatos. Perhaps that will give me more clues as to what went on just before the earthquake hit. For now, we’ll head home for lunch and then I’ll be off to pick up Solaris’ new glasses.” 
The grey-eyed woman nods as she takes her child’s hand and give it a gentle squeeze. She brushes some of his orange and black hair off of his face. 
“Dad and I are going now but we’ll be back again to check on you.” She says softly as she presses a kiss to his forehead, “We love you so much.” 
“Come back to us soon, Son. We’ll be waiting.” Are his father’s encouraging words. 
The pair wait just a few moments longer to see if there was any sign that Solaris could hear them- any sign at all that he was still in there but when nothing happens, they just frown to each other before gathering up their belongings and taking their leave. 
・・・〆・・・ 
To be continued
A/N: I always regretted killing Aubrie off for some reason, so I brought her back. Now let's see if I can make a plausible work around to keeping her alive while also letting Solaris stay around.
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wordsonaplate · 26 days ago
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Right Spot, Right Time
I’m on the ferry headed home. As we weave between islands, my eyes scan the Sound for any signs of dorsal fins, for larger than usual splashes amongst the choppy waves, perhaps of Tahlequah once again carrying around her dead calf, J61. The first time, in 2018, she had carried her dead calf for more than 17 days and for 1,000 miles. But I don’t have binoculars, and I am, as usual, in the wrong spot at the wrong time.
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“What’s that?!” Lucas jokes and looks out into the water, as I transfer Sylvie to him so that they can prance around in the passenger deck, and I can sit in the car. I shoot him a glare then burrow in the car with my napping dog, Barley, staring into the thick fog that shrouds the islands until they look like faded photographs. The water today is a light green, mixed with ice blue, smeared with white pastel. It’s the color of cold, of grief and reincarnation.
At the start of our mini family vacation, I didn’t even hope to see an Orca, or any whale (or killer whale), in our few days in the San Juan Islands. It was winter, after all, and all the Facebook posts from the Orca-watching community spotted the pods in Puget Sound, closer to Vashon or Whidbey or the islands near Seattle—ironically, where we left, where I’d never in my day-to-day have the time to look out into the water and think about endangered killer whales, or about much of anything besides work and when Sylvie sleeps and what we eat and is that a moldy smell in our house?
And yet, each day on our vacation, I’d still skim the Facebook group to see people chime in the threads with where they spotted the whales, and where they thought they were heading; new eyes picked up where former ones left off and commented, as the pods traveled north or south, milling or moving. People posted photos of their encounters, of the processions of black and white giants, jumping, playing, pushing through, or in Tahlequah’s case, mourning.
On New Year’s Day, as Lucas rocked Sylvie to sleep, news of Tahlequah’s latest loss on New Year’s Eve had spread and I found myself refreshing my phone repeatedly, reading comments, looking for photos. A mother drawn to a mother, grief drawn to grief. “Maybe she doesn’t have enough milk,” a comment read, amongst a sea of people lamenting the lack of salmon, pointing out it was her second loss. I thought back to how I had no milk when Sylvie was cut out of me. How they had run the breast pump over and over, squeezing me all day for dribbles, not taking emptiness for an answer. I am a mother after all, shouldn’t I be able to feed my child who was constantly shrieking at us from hunger? Finally, one of the nurses offered us formula—yes, yes yes, I had said, not wanting my child to starve to death.
I heard Lucas play “Rock-a-bye Baby” and cried when I read about Tahlequah, how she continues to snatch back her calf from the waves before it is swept away. She pushes its body, weighing hundreds of pounds, with her head, sometimes carrying it between fin and teeth. It weakens her, but how can you let go when you had hope for a new start?
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, And down will come baby, cradle and all.
The ferry is arriving in Anacortes, and the horizon still stretches out, somehow empty yet full. An announcement crackles through the loudspeakers to take our belongings with us. I consider what I want to take with me into this new year. I consider Tahlequah, who takes her calf through and through; though the world once again grieves with her, to her, it is just her and her child, as she confronts the waters minute by minute.
---
I took with me Sylvie’s stuffed animals (she picked three for the trip) and placed them on her belly. She hugged them tight and asked me to rock her. There was no rocking chair so I strung her across my arm and lap, and rocked my body back and forth on the bed. Then she wanted me to put her in her Pack ‘n’ Play (which she is too large for). Then to rock her again. Then to put her on our bed. Then to rock her. Usually I would draw a line, but as I hugged her tight while she hugged her stuffed animals tight. I could still feel her fever burning under and through her skin. It was coming down, but barely, with the alternating use of Tylenol and Motrin.
“Poor Sylvie.”
Her fever had started on the first night of our vacation. For those first few nights we barely slept. After she cried every 20 minutes, I had carried her into bed with us. It was our first time co-sleeping. It was nice to feel her body cuddled against mine. Until there was a kick to the uterus or a piercing scream right in my ear. She was angry to be awake. She was angry she was not feeling well. She was angry angry angry.
And we were so exhausted.
During the mornings we would go on walks in the wind, in the drizzle, in the cold. Sometimes the sun would hit us. And everything would set her off—not being carried, being carried, being in her car seat, not wanting to eat, the wrong sock, or for reasons I just couldn’t figure out. Tantrums for her, and any toddler, were normal, but the frequency of them during the trip and the need for us to be just hardly, constantly, one step ahead of a meltdown sucked the life out of me and Lucas. We could barely get a complete sentence to each other that wasn’t about caretaking or planning the next step.
“This is too hard,” I said to Lucas, after Sylvie finally settled down again for the night. I’m not meant to be a mother. Wait, did I say that part out loud? He opened a bottle of wine. It was New Year’s Eve. We had intended to celebrate.
“You’re a good mom. We are good parents.”
I sank into the couch as he asked me about the best and worst moments of 2024.
Sylvie swimming, dancing, stomping.
Meltdowns at a wedding.
Getting a massage child-free.
All the times she was sick.
Eating in Vancouver.
There were always highs and lows, the pull of each tide shaping coastal ecosystems.
Gravity, Sylvie had learned and echoed this past year in her toddler-speak, is when things fall down. Then she would drop a stuffed animal, or her food.
I would chuckle, then pick it back up.
 ---
I took with me a bag of a dozen oysters, High Beach Sweets harvested in Westcott Bay, into the car. With almost all the restaurants closed for winter break, I was most excited about getting fresh oysters straight from the farm. And lucky me, within the four days we were there, they’d be open for three hours on New Year’s Eve.
We drove back down Westcott Drive, admiring the quirky and PNW-themed mailboxes along the way.
“I’m still worried about the Norovirus outbreak,” I told Lucas. Just after placing my order, I had read news of Norovirus outbreaks in oysters found in Washington and British Columbia. “This should be fine right?” I asked, knowing he couldn’t answer it. “They were other companies and other bays and other farms that were affected. Right?”
I stare at the bag of white, gray shells, covered in ice.  I had imagined enjoying them with a glass of white wine. I had imagined embracing the definition of chill for once. I had even brought our shucker with us on the trip, just for this moment.
And yet, when we arrived back at the condo, before Lucas had helped me shuck the whole dozen, I examined each one to make sure they were closed shut. And after he had shucked them, I examined each muscle, valve, gill, every bit of flesh and liquor for … what would Norovirus even look like? Poop maybe? Did this one look funky, like it had too much grit? My anxious nature took over and I threw one away for good measure.
“Whatever, it’ll be okay,” I said, but did not believe. I spooned some vinaigrette onto an oyster and slurped it down. Refreshing, cold, salty sea hit my tongue and down my throat. Nothing tasted off, but then again, how do you know?
Lucas ate one, his one “meat of the year,” he called it as a vegetarian. The rest were up to me.
I ate all fresh but three, willing myself to enjoy each one—because they were so good. Then somehow, I got it in my brain that I had to cook the last three, you know, to decrease the odds of me getting Norovirus. But we had no grill, and the condo kitchen had no oil or butter or condiments, and my shellfish’s shelf life was quickly expiring. So I threw the last three in boiling water and immediately regretted my decision.
I watched the beautiful oysters, plump and full of life, shrivel and turn opaque.
I ate each of them, chewing for far too long, hoping no one would ever know, and hoping that maybe in 2025, I will 1) not let anxiety ruin enjoying the moment and 2) not get Norovirus.
---
We took with us the hiking backpack, which Sylvie was also outgrowing, her head butting up against the sun and wind shield, Lucas grunting as he swung it and her across his back.
Over the last two years she had napped in it, laughed in it, pointed out trees and animals in it. Older couples often stopped us in our trails to mention how they had fashioned one just like it before for their kids, before there were so many babywearing options on the market.
On our last day on San Juan Island, Sylvie’s fever was gone and she was finally eating again. We hiked up to the Cattle Point Lighthouse. It was smaller than the Lime Kiln one, with grassy dunes stretching across for miles. Eagles soared. Birds chirped. It had even stopped raining.
“There might be foxes,” I said. And before I knew it, Sylvie became obsessed with the idea of seeing a fox. Not wanting to let her down, I told her they were likely sleeping or hiding from the cold.
For most of the walk, there was no one in sight. Just me, and Lucas, and Sylvie, and Barley. When we got to the lighthouse, we peered down the edge, against glacier-carved rocks and into the stunning Salish Sea. Can’t believe the Americans and British almost went to war over a pig, I thought. Or actually, I can. We were always at war, there was always violence and grief.
“Sylvie, let’s try to be quiet and just listen,” I said. Sylvie immediately stopped asking about foxes, intrigued by the exercise. So just for a minute, we stood there, tiny specks to nobody. The quiet washed over us. Then we heard the waves lapping, the birds singing, the wind howling. It was just for a minute, but it was all we needed.
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casspurrjoybell-20 · 6 months ago
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FOOLS IN LOVE - Chapter 31 - Part 2 BOOK THREE: 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy
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*Warning - Adult Content*
Samuel Moretti
The dorm door swung open and Noah and I froze, seeing Kai and Benjamin Hernandez walk in.
At the same time, Benjamin looked at Noah and myself in a bewildered state.
"What the actual fuck is going on here?"
I got up fast, pushing Noah off me in the process.
"Benjamin. Why are you here? I thought you had left?"
He tosses down my crewneck, I must've forgotten in his car.
'Why did I always do that?'
"You left this in my car, so I came to bring it to you and we usually kiss goodbye but after our conversation I forgot. What the fuck is he doing here?"
"A kiss goodbye?" Noah questioned, sizing Benjamin up, which wasn't hard given the height difference.
Meanwhile, I was in a state of shock, I didn't know what the heck was happening.
"Yeah, I'm allowed to kiss my boyfriend goodbye," he spoke matter-of-fact, crossing his arms and trying to look intimidating.
Noah turned to me with a glare.
"Boyfriend?"
"Ah," Kai chimed in.
"I think I have a photo-shoot I'm late for, haha," he laughed nervously.
"Bye Sam," and then he was gone, not even bothering to shut the door behind him but Kai's interruption didn't take Benjamin or Noah's questioning eyes off me.
They were waiting for me to say something?
With sympathetic eyes towards my supposed to be ex-boyfriend, I began cautiously...
"Benjamin. I... um... I thought... you know...?"
'Ahhhhhh what is going on?'
"No. I don't know. So do you mind explaining... what the fuck Noah..." he spoke Noah's name like it was a putrid word.
"What is he doing kissing you?"
Noah took a threatening step closer to Benjamin and I immediately stepped in between them, facing my ex-boyfriend.
"I'm... I'm so confused," I said honestly.
"In the car earlier..."
"In the car, I said we were okay," Ben cut me off, again.
"As in I forgave you if you did anything with Noah, that night of the party."
Noah scoffed.
"This guy's relentless."
"I'm relentless?" Benjamin stepped closer and I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
"Benjamin, stop. This is just a horrible misunderstanding. In the car earlier, I was breaking up with you. I'm so sorry."
I knew it was too good to be true.
'Gah I felt stupid.'
"What?" he questioned like he couldn't believe what I was saying.
Which I guess he didn't because then he asked me...
"What are you saying?"
Noah laughed and pulled me behind him.
"He's trying to tell you to fuck off but you just can't take a hint."
"Noah," I said appalled but that didn't stop him.
"Sam doesn't love you. He doesn't want you," Noah continued to egg Benjamin on, Benjamin gritting his teeth.
'Oh gosh, this was a mess.'
"Stop," I warn Noah but of course he doesn't listen.
"He wants me. So you can get the fuck out of my face and out of our lives," Noah spoke bitterly.
I just wanted them to stop,but apparently, I was chopped liver.
"You're the one in my face, acting all big and bad but you don't intimidate me. You're just a pathetic loser."
Noah laughed mockingly at Benjamin's words.
"A loser, who throws temper tantrums, when he's angry."
That didn't make Noah laugh.
"Alright, that's enough," I told Benjamin.
"You need to leave."
Benjamin looked at me, like I was bat-shit crazy.
"Are you serious? You're leaving me for this asshole?"
"Benjamin, stop," I pleaded.
'Why couldn't they listen to me?'
"I'd watch what you're about to say next," Noah threaten.
"I'm just saying the truth. You don't deserve Sam. You're toxic waste, just like your low-life father. You're probably one tantrum away from laying a hand on Sam..."
Noah tackled Benjamin, sending them both out of my dorm and into the hallway.
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pacifierbby · 6 months ago
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ੈ✩‧₊˚ WHEN THREE BECOMES FOUR
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* ੈ✩‧₊ when the Norris family turns from three to four join their mini-series and see how little Noah copes with his new brother or sister
୨ৎ 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 LN4 dad x fem reader mom
୨ৎ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 none
୨ৎ 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬
(ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ)
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since having Noah, you and Lando have tried for a second baby, but with many pregnancy tests later, you knew it wasn't going to happen. Both of you wished for another sibling for Noah when he turned three since you didn't want any age gaps between your children. however, you have been feeling a little under the weather recently, the same feeling you had when you were pregnant with Noah. You didn't want to tell Lando until you took some test. just in case you got his hopes up however, your little munchkin noticed something different about you noticed that you were going to the toilet more and eating sweets that you told him that was bad for him even though Noah was one he learned very quickly and was really bright much higher than the kids that were in his classes which you were so happy for giving him special trips out when he brought a certificate back from his school on Friday,
Noah tells Lando about what he has done with his school week and the trips that you planned for his special days, his father nodding at his every word
Being away from both of you for a few weeks is hard. He enjoys his little Facetime calls with his son and wife at the end of the week. Still, he enjoys waiting for his little man to come through the front door with another certificate with a big smile running into his dad's arms, throwing the piece of paper in his face, kissing him on his cheek with a little small well done however he doesn't know where he's got the brains from because its not from use two.
Lando had noticed that you had been more tired than usual constantly yawning when your baby was talking even Noah noticed the constant toilet breaks you were taking "Daddy mummy has been eating a lot more than usual and going to the toilet" making your eyes shoot open "baby it's normal" you quickly replied surprised that Noah even noticed your eating habits and your quick toilet breaks "yes mummy but not stuff like sandwiches with peanut butter and m and ms inside" looking down at your son hearing a small laugh through the phone "uh lando ill call you when this little one is this one is in bed say bye to daddy baby" both of you blowing kissing towards Lando making him catch it putting it on his cheek making you both smile ending the call " come on little one time for bed" yawning a little helping him up from the sofa.
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You haven't noticed the symptoms you were getting, but what Noah said tonight, does remind you of all the symptoms that you had with Noah the constant toilet breaks and the hideous food cravings which Lando said one night when he spotted you eating chips and chocolate at 2 am in bed with a tv show in the background. You haven't had time to even notice the big differences, only your sore boobs, the back aches which you honestly thought was because you were due on. With a 3-year-old and working life, has gotten really busy.
Your phone pings with a message from Lando: "Free to call?" Quickly pressing the video call button, the phone rang two times the screen quickly changing to Lando's face "Did Noah get to sleep okay?" the first question he asked making your heart do a small thump "Yeah he did" smiling "Well uh are you?" giving him a confused look then remembering about what Noah said "I don't know love I haven't really had much time to even notice these symptoms myself it's only when he mentioned it that everything started adding up the boobs, back pain, the awful cravings" making Lando laugh a little "do we have any more test?" making you shrug a little getting up from the comfort of your bed walking into the bathroom looking through yours and Lando's draws grabbing the pregnancy test "we only have one left" you softly spoke trying to not wake Noah next door quickly opening the packet "thankful I need to wee" making Lando laugh placing your phone on the counter " I won't be long"
remembering from your last pregnancy all the worries that you had when you were pregnant with Noah from telling Lando to if you could even be a good mum you knew with this pregnancy it would be easier from all the stupid questions that were in your head from last pregnancy have already been answered.
looking down at the pregnancy test the clear blue is only what you trust the small screen says pregnant 3+ letting out a small happy sigh yours and Lando's wish finally coming true. running towards your phone not even saying a word showing lando the test "are we actually!" lando spoke highly but softly not wanting all his friends at his hotel door to ask him if he was okay "Yes!".
"How are we going to tell Noah though? How is he going to take it? I mean it's only been us for the past three years" all the questions coming out all at once the worries finally kicking in "Hey hey hey" Lando softly spoke making you instantly stop passing around the bathroom and grabbing your phone from the counter "We will tell him after your doctor's appointment and the scan yeah to make sure the baby is okay ill come back next week make an appointment for then. then we will worry about that after" Lando knew what to say in situations like these he knew how to calm you down instantly it honestly makes you love him more "Yeah I'll ring them tomorrow and let you know" "Right my love get some rest to speak to you tomorrow"
your head hitting the pillow thinking about what these couple of weeks will bring. will there be tears follow the Norris family small series
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© pacifierbby works
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mement0m0rri · 3 years ago
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I Want You To Feel Safe || Steven Grant x Witch!Reader x Marc Spector
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Summary: Reader is a witch attempting to help protect her boyfriend(s) from Khonshu’s consistant pestering. (You and Khonshu hate each other XD) 
Word Count: 1151 words
Warning(s): FLUFF!!!! 
Author’s Note: I do not consent to my works being copied, printed, or used by anyone other than myself. 
*******************************************************************************************
             You had worked tirelessly throughout your day off to fortify Steven and Marc’s flat. You were done with the level of Khonshu’s harassment and hijacking of their body and minds. You had spent weeks studying and gathering the knowledge to protect this place and make it a sanctuary for them. Especially since a week before when you were attempting to be intimate and Khonshu appear to pull Steven out of bed to do his bidding. Marc had to come forward to calm you down as there was no way Steven had the heart to stop you when you threw the lamp at Khonshu, screaming that he was a “Stupid Old Pigeon.”
             Smiling to yourself as you whispered the last words of the incantation and completed the last sigil of ash in the corner you were excited to see if this old magic would work considering your Eqyptian modifications. Then a quick worry crossed your mind, hopefully the boys wouldn’t be too cross that you had drawn all over their walls. You internally promised to pay for any damage costs this endeavor may have incurred with the landlord.          
“Hi love, how was your day? Steven called out with a smile that melted your heart, as he pulled his keys from the flat’s lock and entered, totally unphased by the energy over the entrance.
             “Hi darling, it was good, very busy!” You chirped with a smile, as you laid your spell book onto the table to quickly walk over to him, giving him a soft kiss. “How was yours?”
             “Oh you know, Donna always going on about how she’ll put me on inventory if I show up late again and how… what on earth is all over your hands?” Steven’s attention shooting to your black soot stained fingers, grabbing them gently to look them over.
             “Oh it’s…” And then you heard a sound of an angry yet slightly impressed God from behind Steven. You peered over to see Khonshu had now materialized and could not pass the barrier despite his best efforts. “Ha, nice!” You laughed, Steven turned to watch the scene unfolding behind him.
             “Bloody hell.” Steven watched Khonshu punch the barrier unable to break it with shock.
             “Remove the ward Witch!” He growled.
             “Ward? What is going on?” Steven asked turning back to you.
             “You’re Witch it seems, has warded your home so I may not enter.”
             “Yeah, I did. You meddle with them enough, the magic still allows you to communicate but you are not allowed to cross the threshold.”
             “I will gut you one of these days sorceress.”
             “Oi, enough of that! You heard her, off you pop!” Steven pointed at Khonshu and made a waving motion for him to go. Khonshu stared for a moment at you both menacingly and you made a mental note to place protection charms on yourself, Steven, and Marc later on since while you were clever he was still a God and you were testing your luck as it was.
             “Bye!” You sang, waving as you slammed the door on the God. On the other hand if he was going to kill you it might as well be for a good reason.
             “WOW! That was amazing!” Steven all but giggled as he grabbed your face pulling you in for a excited kiss. “How did you do that?”
             “I’ve been studying!” You said with cutest smile you could muster for your lovely academic boyfriend.
             “That is so hot!” Steven chuckled pulling you in close for another kiss, smiling against your lips.
             “I was thinking too, we could get a cat, for protection? They are the Egyptian guardians after all!” You said matter-of-factly gently pulling out of the kiss.
             “You’ll have to talk to Marc on that one love, remember that time with poor Gus?”
             “Ooo good call.” You crinkled your nose with a smile as you ran your hand across his chest. Quickly Steven’s head turned to the mirror across the room.
             “You should see what she’s done mate!” He said with a smile. “Well I’m sure it’ll be alright.” Steven began to trail off, starting to look a little bit concerned. He looked back down at you in his arms and his eyes rolled slightly. A stern look replacing the one that had been pure shock and joy from moments ago.
             “Marc?”
             “What did you do?” Marc looked at you expectantly as he removed his arms from hugging your body to grasping your arms to look at you fully, your feeling of excitement disappearing completely.
             “I protected the apartment to keep Khonshu out.” You began to drop your head in shame under his gaze. Steven had loved it, but your men were very different people, Marc did not.
             “Oh jeeze, why would you do that? There will be consequences for this!” Mark sighed.
             “Because I hate how Khonshu pulls you away whenever he pleases to do Gods know what! Half the time neither of you remember what happened and I watch you both panic over losing control over your body and trying to figure it all out! I wanted you to feel safe in at least one place from him! You both deserve a term in your deal for your own time alone without threat of transportation to wherever! I want you to feel safe!” You blurted out, tears pricked at the corner of your eyes as you looked at his frustrated expression. You really had tried, but this was obviously not what they wanted. “I’ll wash them off and apologize to Khonshu.” You whispered, beginning to pull away, you couldn’t even look at Marc anymore, you felt so embarrassed.
             His hands holding your arms tightened on you, pulling you back against his chest. Still unable to look at him Marc reached up with one hand and tilted your chin to meet his eyes. He pulled you into a soft passionate kiss, his hand leaving your chin and wrapping around to tangle in your hair. Your hands slid up to wrapped around his waist, palms flat to his back, pulling him flush against you. Marc had always been terrible with words, he expressed things so subtly that sometimes you had to squint to see them or rather psychically so you would know immediately how he felt. You sighed against his lips knowing that he was trying to tell you he still loved you.
             “No.” He sighed, gently leaning back to look at you. “You’re right.”
             Your eyes popped open to look at him, he looked almost anxious. “Leave them up, I’ll deal with Khonshu.” He said sternly, “But let me know next time you’re planning on antagonizing a God okay?”
             His stern look morphed into a small smile, which you return whole heartedly as you pulled him back into another deep kiss.
             “No promises.” You whispered against his lips, fully prepared to enjoy some uninterrupted alone time with your boys.
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layanasstories · 2 years ago
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If not in this lifetime...
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Maybe one day we’ll find that place where you and I could be together. And we’ll catch our dreams within the waves of change. So smile for me one last time and believe that we’ll meet again. Until then, I’ll be missing you.
- R.M. Drake
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Chapter 10
He parks right in front of my house, gets out to grab my bag from the trunk. I do the same and walk around the car and wait for him on the sidewalk. "Thank you for taking me home." I say to him as he stops in front of me. "Little effort.” the smile around his mouth and his twinkling eyes are adorable. The urge to kiss him grows stronger as I keep watching. I let go of my bag whereupon it plops to the floor and I take a small step closer. I have to stand on my toes to bring my mouth closer to his. I gently caress my lips against his and then place a gentle kiss. He returns the kiss just as gently. "Bye Jake, see you soon" I say as I pick up my bag again and turn to go inside. I turn around one last time, and see him leaning against the car and watching me. I give him a big smile as I close my door behind me.
The moment she got out of bed, I immediately noticed that her warmth was gone from me. I had just won her back, at least a little bit. The party was amazing, fun. We laughed and danced all night, until we were so drunk we hardly could stand on two feet. And then after breakfast, the drive to her house and the kiss she gave me, I was convinced that we were back together again. That I had her back in my life. Those months when she hadn't contacted me drove me crazy. And I think I'm totally losing it now. I didn't hear anything for three days. She hadn't been online in three days. Until ten minutes ago. The words she wrote tore my heart. Again and again I read her message. Even though I had send her a response right away.
Something is wrong. Why does my bed wobble like that? "Ouch" I hear myself mumble. This feels hard and cold. What is wrong? A throbbing pain shoots into my shoulder and hip. With difficulty I can open my eyes but I can't move my hands and legs. It's dark where I am and I can't see much. "What the fuck?" I hear myself again. Swiftly I'm back to my senses. I'm laying in the back of a car, with my hands and ankles bound and my mouth is gagged. Since I can't see anything, I try to hear where I am. I don't hear any other cars and the road is quite bumpy. I can't gauge the time, we've been riding for a long time since I came to my senses. At the same time I try to think who the hell took me. The first one that comes to mind is Jake. But this car is not his Dodge. And now that we've made up, I don't think there's any reason to kidnap me. Right? My thoughts are interrupted as the car slows down and comes to a stop.
---
Layana: Jake, I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Everything I told you were lies. I feel nothing, no warmth, no love, nothing. You were a fun game. Bye.
Jake: Can we talk about this face to face?
Her words hurt me, although I also doubt how true they are. Something isn't right, but I can't put my finger on it. I close her chat and open Alice's.
Jake: Hi Alice.
Alice: Hey Jake.
Jake: Have you heard from Layana?
Alice: No? How so?
Jake: Are you and Dan at home? Can I come over?
Alice: Yes of course. But what's going on?
The seat I'm sitting on is a lot more comfortable than the trunk of an old Volvo. My hands are still tied behind my back and my ankles are tied to the legs of the chair. When she got me out of the car, she pointed a gun at my head, which made me cooperate when she untied my ankles. That allowed me to walk inside instead of hopping. She forced me to break up with Jake via text message. And by force I really mean real force, the imprint of the barrel is still on my temple. I don't know her, although she looks vaguely familiar. And what she has against Jake, I have no idea. One thing is for sure, If I want to survive, I have to work with her. I try to see through the small cracks in the wall or window. But they're boarded up so I can't see much. What I do know is that we are deep in a forest, I had a brief look at where we are as I walked from the car to the cabin. The cabin is not too big inside. We entered through the living room, past a kitchenette and then I had to go into this small room. If I had to guess, this could be an extra bedroom.
Jake: I'm not exactly sure, but explaining on chat isn't working.
---
The door swings open, she stops in the doorway. She stares at me for a long time, then she starts talking. "I don't understand what Jake sees in you. But it doesn't matter. He's got me now." she smiles and it has something strange about it. Not that she's normal at all, I just got kidnapped by some kind of maniac. "Do you know where Jake and I met?" she asks me, as if she is about to tell a very beautiful love story. "No" I answer her. "It was a few years ago. Long before you came to disturb our love. He came to my office every day. We had lunch together." she sighs like a lovesick teenager "There's where it all started". I now immediately see how delusional she is, in her head she has a relationship with Jake and to her, I am the intruder. Which make believe she is a stalker as well. "I'm so sorry. It never occurred to me that Jake already had a partner. That was pretty selfish of me." I try to spawn her. "Well, they all say that. But then they try to get rid of me later." she scrunches up her nose and crosses her arms. "Of course you don't believe me. I understand that. There's no reason for you to trust me." I lower my head, as if giving up the so-called fighting. "Maybe we can get to know each other a little better. What's your name?" I ask my question as carefully as possible. "Suzanna" she replies, then turns and walks out of the room. The door slams shut again. To then open again with a bang "Oh that’s right, I almost forgot! In case you're wondering. I'll get Jake here. Don't worry. And you'll see that he will choose me and not you!"
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stansethandpaul · 3 years ago
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Jealousy Jealousy (rewrite)
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Angst -> Fluff: Embry Call x GN!reader
Summary: Embry gives y/n a slap in the face about reality after they constantly sulk about Bella.
A/N: I'm much more content with this one and I actually might end up deleting the other one, sorry about that. I actually took a lot more time editing this and didn't write this when I was burnt out compared to the other one! I'm just overall way happier with the other one because I knew that the other one wasn't my true capability.
warnings: angst (that's all I could really think of tell me if you see anything else!)
Masterlist
Ding!
Ding!
Ding!
Constant notifications vibrated Jacob's phone as we sat on his couch together watching the movie on the screen. I shot him a look of annoyance, signaling him to check his phone which he did swiftly. His eyes shot open in surprise before he shot up from the couch and throwing on a shirt and shoes, hopping out the door as he attempted to put the last shoe on.
"Sorry y/n! Bella just told me she was free, you know what it's been like for her!" He hastily shouted out before sprinting down the gravel driveway.
"Bye!" I shouted back, trying to hide my disappointment.
I grimaced at the situation. On one hand, I knew how the sudden disappearance of the Cullens devastated her, especially Edward's sudden abandonment but this happened way too many times. But on the other, Jacob was like her puppy dog now, it was like I wasn't even his friend anymore, it was like our friendship meant nothing.
Knowing that Jacob wouldn't be back anytime soon, I got my stuff and locked the door behind me before driving over to Emily's place to surround myself in the livelier company.
"Sup y/n! Missed me didn't ya!" Jared boomed as I opened the door to which I replied with a "you wish". I chuckled at his dramatic pain as he pretended to hold his heart, eyes shut and face contorting.
"Know where Embry is?" Questioning the dramatic boy as I peered around the room to see if I could find any trace of the lanky boy, no luck.
"Finding your loverboy huh? With the deepest of regrets, I must inform you that he was put on patrol today." He said, mocking my curiosity over Embry's whereabouts. I stuck my tongue out at him to tease him before flipping him off and leaving to the porch to await Embry.
"Knock it off Paul, it's not what you think"
"yeah sure, and if it wasn't what I HEARD THROUGH THE MINDLINK then I don't know what else it could have been"
Their voices permeated through the thick fog as their silhouettes came into view, Paul's muscly tall physique was seen locking an arm around Embry's tall lanky but lean body.
"Aw buzz off Paul," Embry said as he struggled to get Paul's arm off of his neck. He laughed at his struggle before letting go as he noticed me, shooting Embry a smirk to which a slight blush came onto his face, only noticeable as they got closer. Odd.
"Sup Paul," I smirked at him before turning my attention over to Embry.
"And hello to you too wolf boy," teasing him to which he shot a glare at me before attempting to stifle his laughs.
Paul said a prompt bye before jogging into the house to fill up his appetite whilst Embry sat down next to me, his body warmth radiating. The cold air nipped at my skin, pushing me to get closer to the much warmer boy as I swung my legs into his lap and resting my head on his shoulder.
"Jacob left again?"
A sigh left my mouth at his obvious question.
Closing my eyes promptly, I answered with a short nod. A response that showed my true feelings after all these times of being blown off by Jacob.
We sat in silence, my eyes closed as I felt his shoulders move up and down in a rhythmic motion, lulling me to sleep almost. The deafening quiet seemed to almost suffocate us before I decided to talk.
"I don't know what to do anymore Embry, I'm always there for him when he needs me but, he runs to her at the drop of a hat or more like a single text message," I grumbled, reminiscing about the times Jacob's left me in the dust for Bella, excuses sprouting up.
"Why does everyone in this town seem to be so infatuated with her," expecting no response I kept going.
"Is it because she's Charlie's daughter? Hell if I was his child Jacob would be all over me too right? I'd be the hot topic of town too, people staring at me wherever I go, being suddenly accepted by the Cullen family and Jacob. I'd really have the best of both worlds wouldn't I?" Scowling at my own questions, I turned to Embry for answers.
"Am I not right?"
Silence.
"Helloooooooo, Earth to Embry?" I said, poking his cheeks with my finger. His brows seemed to be furrowed together, eyes lost in thought, his attention elsewhere.
There seemed to be no response from him to which I huffed and turned back to stare at the fog rolling in.
Closing my eyes to embrace the serenity once more, his lulling voice startled me.
“I don’t think it’s true.”
I turned my head towards him, curiosity piqued by his response.
“Let’s be real Embry, I’d have the best time of my life if I was Bella fucking Swan. Every guy would love me, all the attention would be on me and I wouldn’t be a second option again. Hell, I’d even be able to actually confess to my crush without fearing rejection.” Bitterness laced the last sentence as I satirically spoke my mind. Looking at Embry’s hands and wishing they were embracing mine, the sudden gesture of his fist clenching as his knuckles turned white shocked me, he was mad.
“God y/n, why the hell do you always need to compare yourself to Bella? She hasn’t even done anything to you. It’s always Bella this Bella that if I was her blah blah blah. Get over yourself, you’re not her and you won’t ever be. Learn how to appreciate yourself and live YOUR life and stop moping around. So what Jacob runs to Bella each time, you have Jared, Emily, Paul, and everyone else.”
A long silence suspended in the air.
“You have me and you come running, you never see the other people around you cause you’re too busy complaining. You can’t even see how much I love you cause you’re so stuck up about being Bella and being Jacob’s priority aren’t you?” Finishing his sentence, he proceeded to get up before walking away. Stopping before reaching the woods, his back faced to me, he spoke simply.
“Find me when you can learn to be y/n and not Bella.”
His form morphed before running into the woods on all fours, leaving me stunned. After a brief moment, tears flooded my eyes. I never got to tell him that I do like him, I never got to tell him that I just want his attention, I just wanted him.
Thoughts spiraled in my head, I was jealous of Bella for sure but I was jealous because of the attention she was given. I just wanted Embry to treat me like she was treated, I wanted to be special to him.
I ran home, I ran because I was scared. I was scared I wouldn't be able to look at him properly.
Weeks passed as we ceased to talk, and I ceased to exist in the small town of Forks. Or so I thought.
I groaned as heavy knocks assaulted my front door, I picked up the phone looking at the time. Who the hell shows up at someone's house at 4am?
Throwing on a sweater and sweats, I dragged myself to the front door, the cold hardwood floor seemingly repelling me from ever making any progress. I swung the door open, grumbling as my eyes were half open wondering who it was.
Jacob Black.
Mentally sighing, I invited him inside from the pouring rain, he seemed devastated.
He sat down after he changed as I made him some hot chocolate to comfort him.
"She chose him y/n, he came back and she chose him over me. She drove to Italy for that stupid bloodsucker." His cracking voice was more than enough for me to grasp his frustration and devastation.
"I dropped everything for her, I did everything for her y/n. And she still chose the guy that skipped town huh?" Laughing bitterly at the situation, I stared at his cup before handing it to him.
"Maybe if I was better than Edward I would've won this stupid fucking battle," his words escaping his clenched teeth. He was like me, we were jealous of someone, someone that seemed to win everything, someone that we were not. The words spoken to me by Embry were words I carried with me even as I was moping over the whole situation.
"Stop comparing yourself to him, Jacob. You're not Edward and you won't ever be him. You're so insistent on being better than Edward or being Edward that you can't even see what's in front of you. I was always here for you Jake, I was always here but you treated me like I was a second option. You left me in a heartbeat for her but you never had time to spend with me, not even five minutes, when you were with her," I too chuckled bitterly at the ironic situation, me and Jacob were similar in many ways.
"Learn to live your life, don't live it for her or because of her, learn how to live it like you want." Those words seemed to resonate deep within both of us. After finally speaking those words, I realized that I was ready to live my life as y/n, a citizen of the small city of Forks, and not vying to be Bella, the new girl to forks.
I stood up, putting on shoes hastily before grabbing the handle. I could sense Jacob's attempt to stop me and apologize for his treatment but I knew better.
"It's ok, I know you're gonna apologize. I'm not going to accept, I want the Jake that will care and treat everyone with the same importance that you had for Bella. Come to me when you're ready, but until then I hope you grow and learn how to live your life."
I paused again, one foot out of the door.
"I have someone important to apologize to, someone that didn't leave me in the blink of an eye."
I hurriedly shut the door behind me before running to the woods, my lungs burning and legs aching as I forced myself to my limit. I ran and ran, visions of the houses slowly turned to trees, the crunching leaves under my feet reminded me of the days we would all run through the woods.
My breathing became labored as I was reaching my breaking point but it was close, our place was close. Then, in my distant vision, I could see it. That one pine tree, seemingly normal to many, but to me, it held our memories. The initials only reassured my assumption as I knew that he would be here waiting. As I got closer to the tree, my legs gave out under me, sending me tumbling to the ground whilst tree branches scratched my arms and ripped a hole in my pants.
"EMBRY! EMBRY I'M HERE PLEASE!" I shouted into the dark forest, eyes tearing up once more as I pleaded.
"I LOVE YOU EMBRY CALL AND I'M SORRY I WAS TOO BLIND TO REALIZE IT!" I shouted once more before crumpling closer to the ground, my tears now fully flowing and hitting the dead leaves below.
Maybe I took too long, maybe he moved on, maybe I was too jealous of someone to even realize his love.
As sobs continued throughout my body, the hope of him ever coming was diminishing.
I was too late.
Suddenly, I felt a pair of strong but warm arms wrap around my waist and pulling me up.
"Shhh, it's ok I'm here now."
That voice, I looked up to see Embry's face which held a dorky grin. I threw my arms around him as sobs still left my body, the emotional rollercoaster was far too much for me to handle.
"I-i'm s-s-so sorry Embry, I was too focused on trying to be Bella that I-"
"I know, I know, I heard it all," shushing me as he rubbed circles on my back consoling me. After what felt like hours in his embrace, I finally calmed down and only tear stains remained.
I finally lifted my head to meet his eyes properly this time, he stared back with tender eyes.
"You finally learned how to live for you huh?" He asked, not expecting an answer to which I was oblivious.
Before I could respond, he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't try and fight it and melted into it instead.
I was blind to be jealous of Bella when I already had something that she fought to keep.
Smiling mentally, I wrapped my arms around his neck to deepen the kiss.
Taglist: @krispypotato @therandomficwriter @crackheadenergy101 @cole22ann @uraveragegorewhore @xxx-wounded-angel-xxx @theonlyabby02 @lendeluxe @sassybadqueen @myflicker @junitorials13 @leahishotclearwater @pillowjj @mangobubblet3a @fuzzy-panda @beautiful-1nsanity @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @gutflorizt @sassybadqueen @britty443 @tsukkiswifeey @uraveragegorewhore @blackqueens01 @asprinkleoffaithandtrust @remembered-license @alwayshave-faith @nichia88-blog
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mid-weast · 4 years ago
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Will you keep it down? | Jeon Jungkook
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Summary: You and Jungkook attend the same university and have been neighbors for 3 months now. It drives you crazy that he plays loud music at 2AM, and it drives him crazy that you barely acknowledge his presence.
Pairing: Jungkook x Female!Reader; Black!Reader
Words: 2.6K
Genre: enemies to lovers, student!jungkook, student!reader, fluff, mention of smut, angst? (in the form of bickering back and forth).
Authors note: Hi hi! This is the first fic I’ve ever written so if it’s bad I’m sorry. Also it is unedited so if there's grammar / spelling mistakes I'm sorry again! Also this is catered toward the reader being Black but I hope it can be enjoyed by everyone. Thank you for reading! Feedback is appreciated ok love u bye!
“Y/N? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!? Open this door RIGHT NOW!”
Even though you were studying in your room, his knocks were so loud you nearly jumped out of your skin. You had expected a reaction, but not a full-on explosion.
You and Jungkook have been apartment neighbors for about three months now, and a constant problem is that he blares his music hella loud late at night. Of course he’s a music major so he listens to music a lot, but at this point you don’t care. It doesn’t even seem like he’s working on composition homework anyway, just being an asshole with no regard for his neighbors peace. Now don’t get yourself wrong, you're not just some uptight bitch who complains about everything. Well, you do have several pet peeves but over the years of going to school in Korea you’ve picked and chosen your battles very wisely. In most cases you let things slide. You wouldn’t care at all about someone playing the music loudly, but it is 2 AM, and while you’re up studying you know a lot of your other neighbors are trying to sleep.
You tiptoe toward your front door and twist the knob slowly. You only open the door wide enough to be able to see his face. It’s not that you’re scared that you’re in danger or anything, and you rarely back down from people giving you a hard time. But you were tired, wearing a big ass t- shirt and short shorts (your regular sleep attire), and it was late at night. So if anything was going to pop off you felt pretty vulnerable. Even though you’re the same age, he towers over you and you find his size kinda intimidating.
As usual, you have to crane your neck to see his face, and your view of him is limited by the narrowness in which
you opened the door.
“Can I help you, lil boy?”
From what you can see of him, right away you can tell that he is pissed. Dawning his usual attire of a black sweatshirt with the hood up, black sweats, and stomp a hoe boots, he stood extremely close to your apartment door with his arms crossed. His usually wide, puppy dog eyes are now pressed in narrow slits. His normally pouty lips are formed in a hard line, and his jaw is so clenched you could carve an ice sculpture with his jawline.
"Who the hell do you think you are? You called the cops on me? Are you INSANE???" Jungkook shouts.
Obviously he's mad, and despite the amount of times you've gone back and forth he's never raised your voice at you. The old you would have screamed back at him, but over time you've tried to respond to anger with calmness. Also, you were a little scared because this mf is kind of big.
"I already told you if you keep blaring your music at 2AM, I was going to do something about it!" You respond in a hushed whisper, slightly concerned that your elderly neighbors will be even more disturbed by the noise. "I've told you this a million times, and you barely do anything about it. If anything, it's gotten worse like you're doing it on purpose. People are trying to sleep and I'm trying to study, why is this so hard for you to understand?"
He sucks his teeth. "You're such a little snitch. And I've already told YOU that YOU can't tell me what to do."
"I know I can't...but they can," you nod toward the exit, referring to the police officers that most likely just left out that way with a tiny smirk growing on your face.
If it was possible, he clenched his jaw even harder and you think that he's going to pop a blood vessel. He pushes his way into your apartment, which sends you stumbling back and you grab the door handle to regain your balance. This causes you to close the door shut.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"
He steps right up to you and leans down into your face.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, seriously??? Why are you such an annoying little brat? Just because you're a nerd with no friends who gets no play doesn't mean you can take your bitterness out on me.”
You have to laugh in his face at this point because hello??? First of all, who is he talking to? Second of all, you have told him a BUNCH of times to turn his music down late at night. You didn't think that was too much to ask. As far as you were concerned, being aware of your noise level when you live in an apartment is the universal bare minimum for being a human being.
"ME? Who do you think YOU are? Actually let me tell you. You're an entitled little rich boy who thinks he runs the world. I don't give a fuck about how popular you are on campus, how many people fall at your feet to be around you, and how many hoes you have, you cant talk to ME like that. And how are you going to try and tell me about myself when it's too much of a task for you to be a decent neighbor? I've never done anything to blatantly bother you, so why can you just.." You started to panic because usually when you raise your voice out of anger, your voice cracks and tears threaten to pool out of your eyes, but you tried to get a grip and not back down..."why can you just be nice to me so we can live in peace? Is that too hard for you???"
He looked kind of taken aback by your question. Being nice to you? It never crossed his mind. Also, you kind of had a point. When the semester started and you both moved in on the same day, you would shoot him a small, friendly smile in passing but you never seemed interested in getting to know him. He always wondered why that was. It's not that he had a problem talking with girls, since all he had to do was breathe and girls would come flocking around him, but you would flat out ignore him. Even at all the major parties at the beginning of the year and on Thursday nights when students take over the clubs in the city, you'd barely even acknowledge him. He KNEW that you had seen him too, since you would make eye contact, but you acted like he was just another guy at the club.
And he'd be lying if he said you weren't fine. You had thick thighs, a beautiful face, nice curves, and always wore outfits that hugged you in the right places. He always wondered what it would feel like to wrap his arms around your body and press it against his own. He would constantly sneak peaks of you throughout the night at the club, but something stirred in him when he saw that you were chatting up other guys. Was he...jealous? Jealous that you were so eager to pay attention to these dudes who, in his opinion, were decent looking but they were nowhere near his level, and you never even gave him a second thought? One night he even saw you leaving with a man he knew through mutual friends, and he had to physically stop himself from breaking the glass he was holding, because that guy, while objectively handsome, was nothing compared to him. Jungkook wasn't blatantly cocky, but he let his talent, charm, and looks speak for themselves. He was THEE Jeon Jungkook, and nothing ever really bothered him....except you.
Was he....interested in you? Nah, that can't be it. You were some random chick who happened to be his neighbor, who also is one of the only girls he's met that doesn't give two fucks about even having small talk with him, and that infuriated him for some reason. So the first time you came knocking on his door in an adorable pink satin pajama set with a matching bonnet complaining about his loud music, he knew the game he had to play.
He's still standing over you, centimeters away from you face, but you notice that his eyes soften a little and so does his jaw. He unclenches the fists he was holding crossed against his chest
You continue, “I don't care what you do, and I'm DEFINITELY trying to run your messy ass life. Believe me," you scoff, "you don't have enough money to pay me to do that. But when your dickhole behavior fucks with MY life is when it's a problem. And it's BEEN a problem."
He rolls his eyes. "Whatever, little girl, maybe I should call you little mouse now, since now I know that you'll go squeaking to the cops now, don't fuck with me or my music again.”
Without moving your head you look him up and down with a confused expression. "Am I supposed to be scared of you? No seriously, you look like you cry during Disney movies while wearing footie pajamas, and now here you are throwing a fit because I forced you to stop bothering the entire wing with your music?"
Girl...what are you saying??? This man just barged into YOUR place, is in your face, and is strong enough to pick you up and throw you, and you’re insulting him? But you figured if he's going to be rude, you'll throw it right back because you're tired of his bullshit.
Whatever softness he was feeling for a fleeting moment immediately left, and annoyance once again washed over. He straightens up a bit and puts on that annoying confident smirk he wears when he thinks he's won arguments between you two.
"You should be nicer to me, all it will take is for me to tweet one thing about you, and you'll be the most hated person on campus."
At this point, any suspicions that you had about him annoying you on purpose were confirmed. You've concluded that this mf is a bully and you, small and shy but not one to take mess, will put him in his place to-motherfucking-night.
You take a step toward him, now crossing your arms tightly against your chest, but he doesn't even move a hair backwards.
"Clearly you need a rude awakening so here it is. I don't know what type of people you've dealt with all your life, always saying yes to you, letting you boss them around and taking whatever bullshit you dish out, but let me tell you I am not the one. Never have been and never will be. Unlike the other fools around here who cream their pants at the mention of your name, I don't care about who you are. You'll respect ME and MY peace as long as we're neighbors, you get me?"
Now y/n, you have never so boldly stood up to someone, where did that come from, babes? You've tried to not let this entitled little boy get to you this whole time, but with him standing in front of you in the middle of your apartment with that extremely annoying, yet handsome, smirk on his face, and after all the crap he's said tonight, he had you all the way fucked up.
After you said that, he just laughed and looked away. Now you’re standing there fuming and confused...was there a joke you missed? You were being dead serious!
"Something funny?" you ask, narrowing your eyes.
"Nothing, just thinking about how I want to face fuck that annoying little mouth of yours so you finally shut up.”
Your jaw almost dropped to the floor. You've never had a guy say something so blatantly rude and vulgar literally inches away from your face. But again, you weren't going to back down.
"Oh really?" Scoffing and tilting your head to the side a bit while narrowing your eyes even more, "I'd very much like to do the same. Maybe then you'll learn your place."
"Oh please, princess, you probably blanch when someone around you even mentions the word sex." He chuckles and leans down close toward your face again and cocks his head to the side, scrunching his nose and in a pouty voice said, "you're fooling no one, but keep trying, maybe you'll get there.”
You're even more annoyed than you were before, if that was even possible. But if he wanted to play this game, you might as well go there with him. It's true, you were a bit more prudent than more, but it pissed you off that he could tell. Regardless, you do know some things to say that could have him leaving with his tail between his legs.
You pouted your lips and in a babying tone said, “Aww sweetheart you have no idea. You think you're big and bad but like I said, you probably cry watching Disney movies. The same way you'd be crying, begging me to let you cum down my throat as I mercilessly toy with your cock for hours.”
Now it's his turn to go pale. Y/n, his stuck up neighbor who has barely even spared him five seconds of her time just threatened to edge him into submission? He has to pinch himself because he must be dreaming....
“Well I-“
“But I don't even think we’d make it that far, hun” you continue, “because in order to humble your egotistical, disrespectful ass, I'm gonna have to ride your face until you suffocate. And when the paramedics come and I have to explain how you died, I won't even hesitate to tell them that you were a punk ass loser who LITERALLY drowned in my pussy!”
You don’t know who this person speaking is, but it is not you. All of the pent up hostility you’ve held towards him just flooded out of you and you couldn’t stop the words from coming out. To be honest you shocked yourself, but you still stood there with your arms crossed and your face unfaltering, just waiting for him to say something smart back.
He stared at you silently, eyes wider than you’ve seen before and his mouth hung slightly open. He wasn’t expecting you to respond with so much fire, but now he wouldn’t be able to sleep until the image you painted came true. His brain said fuck it, and his lips crashed down onto yours. The kiss is sloppy but passionate, and you swore you heard him quietly whimper.
When he feels you starting to kiss back, he smirks into the kiss. Your lips are moving against each other in tandem, and all thoughts about how much you despise the prick fades away. As you uncrossed your arms and placed them on his chest, you could feel his heart beating wildly. Was he as nervous as you were this whole time? You wonder. You knew he was a player, so he was experienced. But the thought that you made him nervous gave you a tiny confidence boost. His hands slowly slide up the sides of your body to sneak behind your back, to pull you further into his chest. As much as your brain was telling you to resist him and push him away, you couldn't help but fall victim to how soft his lips felt against yours. Suddenly you feel airborne as he swiftly reaches down behind your thighs and picks you up. You instinctively gasp but he doesn’t miss a beat, simply biting your lower lip and locking your lips together again.
“Maybe we should test that scenario of yours, and if it comes true, that wouldn’t be the worst way for me to go” he says, doing that annoying but soul-crushingly handsome smirk he likes to wear as he carries you off to your bedroom.
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babytaes · 3 years ago
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steal a kiss
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summary: what is it like to be a staff member under Pledis, well y/n knows well, the in’s and out of living as a stylist for Seventeen. 
pairing: mingyu x female reader
genre: light smut (like its barely there), fluff
warnings: thigh-riding.......umm
a/n: I wanted to give a short one-shot to my carats and any other peeps out there in appreciation of reaching 300 followers. Thank you to everyone who has followed me on this writing adventure; I truly appreciate it and hope you will stick with me to the end. Enjoy and always much love from babytaes! :)
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
Being a member of the team seventeen staff has its privileges, which come in handy on a regular basis. Breakfast, lunches, and dinners are all provided for free. All provided on the company card.
Days where you had to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to prepare clothing for the boys, yeah it was a delight.
Despite the fact that every job has its own set of advantages and disadvantages, you were fortunate enough to get hired by S.Coups (Pledis) Entertainment.
You had your share of late nights and early mornings, but the final result of each member always made you proud of the work you and your coworkers put in.
Today was a photo shoot day, which happened to fall during promotion season, which was already stressful enough. You were thrilled to celebrate Jihoon's success when he released another banger.
You picked up some drinks on your way to work for the members who were first in line for their individual shot. Seungkwan, Mingyu, Jeonghan, and Jihoon were on the agenda.
Despite the fact that it was supposed to be an early-bird day, you arrived early, ready to take on the world.
“Hey Y/N, early morning isn’t it.” As she walked past you, she waved and embraced you in a hug.
“It is, and I'm starting to believe they purposefully put us on these shifts. It's always photo sessions for us,” you said as you strolled over to the clothing rack, your eyes glittering at the several items of clothing.
“For real, it's fine once it gets rolling, but we still need a break.”
“Break what is that foreign word?” you ask as you turn around.
“You're a mess; hurry up and start organizing so we can look like we're doing our job.”
You grinned as you shook your head and turned around. Jihyo was a member of the staff who you met when you first started working for Pledis.
It's a long story, but you were friends with a few members during their debut and essentially grew up with them, so when you went to work for them, you took her under your wing. She’s basically your apprentice.
Anyway, back to Pledis and your great life. The joys of being overworked.
---
 As time passed, more individuals and crew began to arrive at the location, prepping for the shot. You had a few more minutes before things started, so you walked to the back to find something to eat.
Courtesy of the company’s card . ;) 
As you moved back to the snack table, you heard voices and looked up from your phone to see the infamous boys walking in. When you see him, you instantly smile and slowly come to a halt, allowing them to pass.
As they hurried quickly inside the dressing room, the boys said their flurry of hellos to you. One stood there for a long time, looking around before slipping his arm around your waist.
“Good morning, love,” I wasn't expecting to meet you this early in the morning, but I'm glad I arrived first.” As he lingered above your lips, teasing you, his face drew in closer to yours.
As you carefully peel him off of you, your cheeks begin to burn up.
“There’s people around gyu”
“That didn’t stop me”
“In all seriousness, I'm glad to see you,” you said with a chuckle. These schedules are becoming increasingly hectic, and I hardly have time to see you.”
Mingyu took another look around before he went down to peck your lips, astonished and taken aback, you giggled as you walked away.
“Let’s get to work young man”
“Yes, ma'am,” He walked away toward the shoot, raising a salute and sharply shaking his head.
Only Jihoon and Seungkwan were clothed in their first outfit when you entered the dressing room.
“Are my eyes failing me or do I see Jeonghan not dressed?” you exclaim at the astonished males in front of you, furrowing your brows.
He looked up from his phone, leaped to his feet, and dashed over to the racks, grabbed his name badge while apologizing.
You didn't have any kind of motherly power over them, no way. However, if any of them were to be late for any reason, you wouldn't mind giving them a gentle push to get them going.
Hehe. 
You pushed Mingyu to his sector and instructed him to be ready in ten minutes, “apparently the first unit is Jihoon and Seungkwan.”
They all shook their heads when they realized what you were saying. Taking one last look at him you sighed and returned to the garment rack, where you gathered extra outfits for them.
It didn’t take long for the boys to be done with their photo shoot, they did have great genes which impacted the photo shoot time.
You and your team do a fantastic job styling them, if I do say so myself. Now came the worst part: packing everything back into suitcases and bags and returning them to their original locations.
As you prepare the van, you speak incoherently as you place all of the respected garments and accessories in their proper spots.
You waved farewell the first time as they drove away. Being that type of person you wanted to be sure everything was in order, so you went back in and did a quick check.
Mr. Kim, the troublesome one, greeted you as you made your way to the dressing room. You cough as you stand outside the door frame, arms folded.
“Ahh- what the hell.” He looked around and became instantly calm.
“Now, why are you still dressed like that?” As he carefully made his approach to you, he kissed your arms as you said, "I already packed away the stuff."
“You worry too much love.” He kisses your desired lips as he draws you closer to him, silencing your cries. As you moan into him, you melt under his touch.
“Gyu... mmmh, we have to go,”  As he moves you closer to the couch, Mingyu's gaze remains fixed on you.
You give into his lustful need with another sigh, despite the fact that you were thinking the same thing.
“Y/N? He retorted
“Yes Mingyu?”
As he pressed kisses on your neck, he drew you down onto his lap. Moving to the side, you gave him more access while you moaned under his touch.
“I love you,” he says with a smile as you travel slowly across his thigh, a performance you never got tired of. As you shuddered, he observed you throwing your head back.
He whispers, "Such a good girl y/n," and caresses your jawline with butterfly kisses. "Are you near, baby?" he inquires, his gaze fixed on yours.
As you pick up the speed, the friction on his thigh becomes more intense. As your breath returns to normal, you slump forward on his chest.
“See, that wasn't so bad,” he says as you leap up from his thigh and hit his chest.
“Babeeee, these are not your clothes. As you cross your arms, he begins to giggle, “Now I have to dry clean them.”
“Let’s go, I still have a lot of work to do.”
As you walk out the door, he takes your hand in his and entwines it with kisses.
“You still love me,” he says, shoving his nose in your face as you enter one of the staff cars. As you locked the door behind him, you could almost hear him pouting.
“Mmmh, you're being mean.” You grinned as you rolled your eyes at him and said to the driver, "Let's go."
“I could never be mean to you gyu, buttt we did get a stain on your pants which will be a hell of a pain to get off.” He draws you closer to him, laughing, and lets you rest your head on his shoulder as he kisses you.
“Hey, you got it; the amount of stains we both accumulated on clothes is overwhelming, but you've done it before, so you can do it again.”
“You should be cleaning it with the amount of cum you spill,” you say.
“I mean, I did suggest cleaning it up, but you didn't want that.”
“I'm not going to clean it with my tongue, and you do realize these pants aren't yours.”
You and him squabble all the way back to the corporate building, which is the beauty of being a stylist. Even though it was all in good fun, you missed this. The random conversations you and him would have.
It filled your heart with excitement, but it was cut short when you thanked the driver and exited the vehicle.
“You sure you can’t stay with me?” As he gazed at you, his eyes became sorrowful. You kissed his lips as you shouted out to the driver, falling in love with this enormous puppy once more.
“Get him home safely Mr. Lee” he turned around and shook his head at you.
“Bye, love; I'll see you after work.” As he spoke in your ear, he took your hand and pulled you in for a kiss.
“Let’s continue what we started.” Before closing the door, he winked at you.
As I previously stated, being on the seventeen staff has its advantages, and this was one of them.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*    *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
➳ Navigate to the Maze
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sunflowergirl522 · 2 years ago
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Think about this random Eddie x reader scenario: you’re reaching for something (maybe at an awkward angle) and you hear a pop in your side. Suddenly, every time you breathe deeply or cough or sneeze or laugh or literally do anything, you get a stabbing pain in your side. You go to the doctor but they can’t do anything so you just take crappy pain killers that don’t do anything but it’s all you’ve got. Then like a week later you shoulder suddenly starts hurting in the exact same way but you haven’t done anything to it. You go to A&E but they can’t do anything & it’s not your heart or lungs so no-one really cares. You go back to the doctor and they give you a referral to get an x-ray and thank fuck something is happening bc the pain is like a 9 if you move wrong! Who knows what happens next bc the x-ray appointment hasn’t happened yet & yeah Eddie is worried as hell about you bc you wince and make a noise whenever you do anything but he does find it a bit funny that you injured yourself reaching for his hand bc ‘turns out that love does actually hurt, sweetheart’ (no, this is totally not based on things that are happening to me, what are you talking about? No I did not injure my side just by reaching across the sofa for the remote! Why would you say something like that?! (The pain is so bad…just put me down like I’m a sick animal…) I just thought of this randomly bc my brain comes up with weird stuff…😂)
Eddie would be so worried immediately. Like as soon as it happens and you let the first signs of pain show he’d be up and asking what was wrong.
And maybe at first you’re just like “it’s nothing Ed’s I probably just pulled something it’s fine.” But when you continue to be in pain after finishing the movie the two of you were watching and you describe it to him Eddie forces you to go to the hospital almost carrying you out of his trailer. It breaks his heart a little bit with every wince and little mewl that would slip from between your lips whenever you moved.
When the doctors tell you the most they can do is give you pain meds since they don’t see anything majorly wrong you stick you tongue out at Eddie when their back is turned. “I told you so.” You’d tell him on the way out and he’d just shake his head in response.
“Bah what do they know. Those meds better help.”
When your shoulder starts hurting the same way a week later during the middle of the band practice you were sitting in on Eddie’s quick to end it, getting you in the van before you can even say bye to the rest of the guys. He takes you to A&E hoping they’d have something more helpful to say than the last doctor you saw and almost throws a fit when they basically blow you off because it’s just your shoulder and not an important organ or anything, and since they can’t physically see anything wrong with it.
The whole time you’re forcing a smile on your face and trying to keep him calm through humor about the situation even though the pain is actually astronomical and you’re worried about it yourself. Somehow you convince him to go back to your doctor from last time and there they give you the xray referral and you’d throw your arms up in a cheer if you could.
Once you’re back in the van you let out a little laugh at the whole situation even with the pain and Eddie shoots you a look and goes “this isn’t funny”
“Oh come on mama bear, I hurt myself twisting around to kiss you, it’s a little funny.”
“Guess love actually does hurt then Sweetheart. Now stop moving so damn much, I’m calling Steve when we get back to the trailer to tell him you won’t be making it into work for the next few days.”
(Definitely not based on stuff happening to you right now. (I hope everything works out and something shows on the xray that gives someone an idea on how to help you))
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andvys · 4 years ago
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Longing (part 3)
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Warnings: lots of angst, violence, reader having self doubts, a sprinkle of fluff
Pairing: Ellie Williams x reader
You woke up to loud knocking the next day. Pissed off you got out of bed, who was at your door at 7 am in the morning on your day off? You walked over opening the door you were greeted by Jesse standing there, leaning against the door frame. Immediately straightening up at the sight of him, you thought he was gonna flip out on you the way Ellie did last night.
“Finally, I thought I was about to freeze to death out here.” You stepped to the side letting him in.
“Umm you know it’s my day off right?” Annoyed you fell back on your bed again.
“Yeah not anymore, sorry about that. I need a patrolling partner and I chose you, sorry.” He said, looking at you with a guilty expression.
“Ugh are you serious? What’s wrong with your partner?” You sat up on the bed, looking at him.
“Ellie’s not feeling good today.”
“Tell me about it.” You mumbled. So she wasn’t feeling good, funny she gave you a whole hatred speech, made you feel like shit and now you had to fill in for her but she was the one who felt like shit. Of course.
“Alright, you owe me something.”
“Wrong, Ellie owes you something.”
“Umm yeah no, you were the one who chose me to be your patrol partner not Ellie so... not like you have much to offer but yeah.”
“I could offer you an unforgettable night with me.” He joked.
“Ugh shut up man.” Throwing a pillow at him you went into the bathroom to get changed.
Stepping out in the cold you immediately gave Jesse a death glare for making you go out into the cold today even though you were supposed to have a free day. He smiled at you, patting your shoulder.
“Come on, let’s get this over with.”
“Yeah whatever”
“We won’t be going on our usual patrol routes today, we’re gonna head to one of the small towns, check for some supplies.” Jesse said.
“Oh alright, haven’t done that in a while.” You said.
“Then it’s about damn time.”
Once you got to one of the small towns, closest to Jackson, you went into an old police station, knowing it was probably picked clean already but it didn’t hurt to check.
Checking the drawers, Jesse came into the room and sat on of the old office chairs. Looking at you, you avoided his eyes. You knew he was about to ask you something.
“So (y/n)..” there it was he was gonna ask about Dina.
“There’s nothing going in between me and Dina if that’s what you wanna ask.” You said while rummaging through the drawers.
“I- how did you know I was gonna ask anything about Dina?” Looking up at Jesse “I just do”
He noticed you avoided looking into his eyes.
“It’s none of my business if the two of you are together, we’re broken up.” He stated, looking sad about saying this.
“I- why does everyone think I’m with Dina?!” You asked, getting angry now, you still felt like shit about yesterday and now you were gonna get accused of something you didn’t do again.
“Aren’t you? I mean with her?” Jesse looked at you, confused about your reaction.
“No! What even makes you think that?”
“Well you were with her all this time, sleeping over at her house and I kinda saw you two kissing.” He said. Looking at him you got up and sat on the table.
“Okay hold up, I slept over because she was feeling like shit, she’s feeling sick lately and she was throwing up all night so I took care of her, I didn’t want to leave her alone while she looked like she’d die any second.” You said.
“Oh I didn’t know about that, she okay now?”
“Yeah she’s good now and the kiss? She thanked me for taking care of her and she gave me a kiss on the cheek that’s all.” You got up, walking out of the room you weren’t in the mood to talk any longer.
Jesse sat there thinking about it, it looked like you two kissed. To be fair he drank too much that night and he saw you two in front of Dinas house and from the angle you two were standing it did look like an actual kiss. “Shit I’m so stupid.”
Getting up he walked out of the room to follow you out, hearing a crash and your yell it sounded like you were fighting something or someone. He ran towards the noise, worried about you.
“(Y/n) you okay?” Walking around the corner he was met by the side of you standing there with a gun to your head. A man standing behind you with his arm around your neck and a gun to your temple. You lip was bleeding and it looked like you had a cut on your forehead.
“Don’t fucking move or your girl here dies.” Jesse put his hands up in surrender.
“What do you want?” Jesse asked the man.
“What I want? You break into my town and ask me what I want?!” He started waving the gun around. This man was definitely crazy and he was probably gonna shoot the both of you.
“We didn’t know anyone lived here.” You said through gritted teeth, annoyed at this whole situation. You were still pissed since yesterday and now you had to deal with this bullshit.
“Shut up you stupid bitch.” As if you didn’t wanna kill him already, he looked like a disgusting rapist and that’s what he probably was.
“Hey whoa no need for insults man” Jesse said, getting angry at the stranger for calling you a bitch. The man turned his gun on Jesse now.
“Here’s what we’re gonna do, I’ll let you live boy, get your stuff and leave and imma keep this one to myself.” He grinned at Jesse, showing off his disgusting yellow teeth
“Yeah I don’t think so man.” Jesse said. The man grunted at that going to pull the trigger, you didn’t give him a chance. Headbutting him, you heard the loud cracking of his nose. He let the gun fall down, letting you go he clutched his bleeding nose.
He looked up at you. “You fucking bit-“ not letting him finish, Jesse shot him in the head. Coming up beside you he grabbed your face checking your injuries. “Man I’m so sorry (y/n).” He said.
“It’s fine, he’s dead. Let’s get the hell out of here before more come.” You said grabbing the gun from the dead guy, leaving the building.
Jesse watched you go out, worried about you he ran after you.
“Hold up (y/n), let me clean your wounds, you probably need some stitches.” He said grabbing your arms turning you around making you look at him, he noticed tears in your eyes. “Hey what’s going on?” You tried blinking the tears away but it was to late, the first one falling down already.
“I’m sorry Jesse.” He looked worriedly at you. “I’m sorry for making you think that I got in between you and Dina, I would never do something like that.” He knew this wasn’t the only reason you were crying and he felt bad for even assuming that you were with Dina.
“You got nothing to be sorry for (y/n), I should be the one who’s sorry for even thinking that.” He pulled you into a hug. You were one of his best friends and he made you feel like shit.
“Ellie called me a home wrecker.” Pulling away you looked up at him.
“What?”
“Yeah and she said some pretty hurtful stuff too.” You said, feeling more tears building up in your eyes, you looked down not wanting him to see you cry anymore.
“Oh man come here.” He pulled you in for another hug. “That’s my fault (y/n), I felt like shit and I talked to her about Dina and you.” He felt bad, he didn’t know what Ellie told you but it must’ve been really bad if it made you cry like that. He’s never seen you cry before.
“It’s okay, at least I know how she truly feels about me now.” You said pulling away from the hug, you wiped your tears away walking back to your horse.
“She probably didn’t mean it.” He knew Ellie had feelings for you, she must’ve been jealous about thinking about you and Dina. He regretted ever telling her anything about this whole situation, feeling like it was his fault.
“Yeah I beg to differ, whatever I don’t wanna talk about her, can we just go?” You got on your horse waiting for him to get on his.
“We need to stitch up your wound.” He pointed to the gash on your forehead.
“We’ll do that back in Jackson, it’s not that deep, let’s go.” Shaking his head at you he knew it was a lost cause to try and convince you to clean up your wounds.
The rest of the patrol was even more exhausting, running into a small herd of clickers and runners you had to fight your way through them to get to some houses for supplies but you made it and even managed to find some goods.
Finally back in Jackson, Jesse immediately sent you off to the infirmary to get your wounds checked.
Walking over there, you realized how tired you actually were once you got to the house, the door opened. Leaving the infirmary was none other than Ellie. Stepping out of her way, you rolled your eyes at the girl waiting for her to leave you so you could go inside.
She saw you, eyes widening at your state. You had blood running down your face, from the wound on your forehead. A bleeding lip and bruise on the right side of your face.
“I- (y/n)?” Worried about you and the state you were in. You looked tired, you had bags under your eyes and you looked like you hadn’t slept all night. You looked like you were on the verge of passing out.
“Are you okay? What happened?” She asked. You almost thought that she cared but then you remembered her words from yesterday, scoffing at her you went to walk past her but she grabbed your arm, flinching at her touch you stepped back not letting her touch you. She looked hurt at your reaction.
“(Y/n) I’m sorry about yesterday.” She looked embarrassed and she had regret in her eyes but you wouldn’t forgive her this easily, she hurt you bad.
“Yeah sure, can you get out of my way now?!” You really weren’t in the mood to talk to her now, your day was shitty enough already.
“I- can we talk later?” She looked at you with hopeful eyes.
“No.”
“Please (y/n).” She begged desperately, she quite literally looked like a kicked puppy right now, not able to resist her.
“Fine.” You said annoyed at yourself for giving in. You could see she was happy about your answer.
“Alright umm you can come over later tonight, I’ll be waiting.” She said. Nodding at her words, she let you pass.
“See you later.”
“Bye Ellie.” She watched you go inside.
Ellie felt like shit for yesterday. She didn’t even get why she said all these things to you, this was nothing like her at all. On the way back home she saw Jesse walking home as well, catching up to him.
“Hey what happened out there?”
“Hello to you too Ellie.” Jesse said, looking at her he noticed the worried look on her face. “We ran into a some crazy guy and then had to deal with some infected on the way back home, did you see (y/n) go into the infirmary?”
“I- yeah she um yeah wait crazy guy? Did he attack (y/n)?” Ellie asked. Just thinking about some guy laying his hands on you put her into deep rage.
“Yeah I was in another room when I heard something from the other room and when I got there he was holding a gun to her head but don’t worry about it he’s dead.”
Ellie felt even more guilty now, considering she was supposed to be on patrol today and not you. She should have been the one with a gun to her head and wounds on her face and not you. Ellie thought to herself. Jesse saw that look on her face. He put his hand on her shoulder making her look at him.
“Hey look, (y/n) is strong, we’ve been in worse situations before, she’ll be fine.” He assured her.
“Yeah, well. I made her feel like shit yesterday and now she almost died out there because me. It was supposed to me out there not her.”
“Don’t beat yourself up Ellie, we all make mistakes.” He felt bad for her, he could see how much she struggled right now.
“Not like this, I really hurt her Jesse.” She said looking down.
“I know, she told me about yesterday.”
Looking back up at him, surprised that you talked about her with Jesse.
“What did she say?”
“Nothing is going with Dina if that’s what you wanna know.” Jesse said.
“I know, I talked to Dina today, she kinda flipped out on me after I told her about what happened with (y/n).” She said, looking away embarrassed. Jesse chuckled at that, Dina always defended you. She was small but she could be really scary if she wanted to.
“You gotta fix this Ellie, (y/n) cried today, this is the first time she cried in front of me, whatever you said to her, you gotta make things right.” Seeing the guilty look on her face at the mention of you crying because of her “it’s my fault too you know? You thought they were together because of me.” He added.
“Still that gave me no right to say all this shit to her.” Ellie said.
“We all make mistakes.” Jesse repeated.
“She’s coming over tonight.” Ellie said, looking down.
“She is? She said she was really tired and that she just wanted a shower and her bed and not see anyone else for the rest of the day yet she comes over? See you still have a chance to make things right with her.” Jesse said, making Ellie blush.
“Yeah it’s gonna be awkward, she barely looked at me and she looked pretty mad.”
“She had a bad day, just don’t make it worse.” Jesse said.
Looking at him with an annoyed expression “thanks for the motivation.”
“You’re welcome, alright I gotta go, good luck with your girl, Williams.” He said before going the other way.
“Yeah.”
Ellie waited for you, it seemed like time wouldn’t go by, she just wanted to see you and apologize for all the shit she said. Grabbing her journal she opened a random page, coming across one of her drawings of you. It was the day your friends decided to have a bonfire night, you looked so pretty sitting by the fire, Ellie kept this picture of you in her head only to draw it in her journal once she got back home.
A knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts, she laid the journal down, walking over to the door she took a deep breath and opened it. The first thing she noticed about you was the stitches you’ve gotten. All the blood on your face earlier hid the actual wound, the cut was longer than it looked before. It would definitely leave a permanent scar. Your lip was busted and there was a bruise on your right eye. It made her angry to see you like this, she wished she would’ve been there to kill this guy herself for laying his hands on you.
“Come in.” She stepped aside. You walked in waiting for her to say something.
You really didn’t want to be here but you decided to give her a chance, everyone deserves a second chance and you couldn’t hate Ellie not even after all the hurtful things she said.
“Umm sit down.” Sitting down you looked at her.
Your silence made her nervous, you’ve never been this quiet with her.
“Jesse told me about what happened out there, you okay?” She asked worriedly.
“Yeah nothing I couldn’t handle.” Your tone was stern and cold.
“I’m sorry (y/n).” She looked guilty. “I’m sorry for everything that I said, I don’t know what has gotten into me.”
Looking at her, you studied her face. Was she genuine?
“It’s fine you said what you were thinking. Nothing wrong with saying the truth.” You said.
“But- but that wasn’t the truth (y/n), I was mad and I talked shit.” She exclaimed. She knew it would be hard to convince you that she wasn’t talking the truth, none of what she said was right.
“It’s okay Ellie, you don’t have to try to make me feel better, you apologized. Let’s leave it at that and let’s just stay away from each other.” You said getting up, you wanted go because you knew staying meant that you would cry especially after that last sentence, you didn’t want to stay away from her but you knew how she felt about you and you didn’t want to be around someone who told you that no one wants or needs you.
“No! Please (y/n).” That made you stop. “Stay.” Turning around you looked at her.
She walked towards you, stopping in front of you.
“I don’t want to stay away from you and I don’t want you to stay away from me.” She whispered, looking into your eyes.
“You told me that no one wants me Ellie.”
“It was a lie, I want you (y/n)” she whispered.
Looking at her, you wanted to believe her you really did but you couldn’t, not when her hurtful words repeated themselves in your head.
You got closer to her, your lips almost touching hers, her breath hitched, she looked at you wide eyed, thinking you were going to kiss her.
“You were right Ellie.” Looking into her eyes, she looked at you curiously.
“No one wants me because that’s what you are, you are no one to me Ellie.” You said coldly, looking at her, she was taken aback by your words, shocked, she tried blinking her tears away. You yourself were on the verge of crying but you had to stay strong, you didn’t want her to see you cry.
You turned around, quickly leaving her place. You leaned against the wall outside, putting your hands on your knees you let the tears fall, you hated yourself for saying this to her but you couldn’t just forgive her after yesterday. Ellie wasn’t no one to you, she was somebody to you. You looked at her door, contemplating going back in and apologize, taking back what you just said to her but you couldn’t, so you left.
Ellie stood there in the middle of her room, processing what you just said to her. “You are no one to me Ellie.” Letting the tears fall, she sat down on her bed, she started sobbing.
Ellie brought this upon herself. She hurt you so you hurt her back. Karma is a bitch.
You weren’t in a better state, you walked home wiping your tears away angrily. You felt like you couldn’t breath anymore so you stopped walking, looking up at the night sky. You thought about everything that happened the past two days. It was just two days but you could already feel yourself slipping back into the darkness, the one that you grew up in. The one that filled you with self doubt and sadness. You weren’t strong enough for this. Taking a deep breath you started walking again.
You didn’t know where to go, you didn’t want to go home, you hated walking into an empty house. You didn’t want to see your friends right now either and you weren’t sure if you should go see Joel, especially after hurting Ellie, surely he would hate you if he found out about that. Realizing that not only Ellie would hate you now, Joel would hate you as well. This made you tear up again, the man who became something like a father figure to you would hate you now.
Your house was the only place for you right now so that’s were you went, walking around the corner of your house you looked down, wiping the tears away you ran into someone, looking up you realized it was Joel.
“Hey kid, I want-“ not finishing his sentence he realized you were crying, he looked at you with worried eyes, without asking any questions he pulled you into his chest hugging you “Come here, sweetheart.” You didn’t deserve this but you hugged him back, sobbing you held onto his jacket. Maybe that was the last time he’d hug you.
His warm hug made you feel safe at least this gave you comfort today because that’s what you needed the most right now. Comfort and love.
270 notes · View notes
timextoxhajima · 4 years ago
Note
hi dana.. if it’s possible can i request some angsty wangsty based on niki la la lost you with eric🥺 and ughh i really love your writing like crazyyyyy
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♥ title: la la lost you in april [also part of @sunlightwoo ‘s 12 Months I Loved You collaboration project]
♥ member: tbz eric
♥ genre: f2l, ex! eric x fem! reader, model! eric [SFW!]
♥ warnings: swearing, some mentions of sex [like, once i think]
♥ wc: 3.4k
♥ a/n: sis when i first heard the song I absolutely loved how you used 'angsty wangsty' so I hope this one does it for you the way you imagined it <3 [fyi i wrote it in like, a camcorder recording audio format which is something i’m trying out so please hmu on whether it’s difficult to read/understand!]
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[REC: APRIL 2, 2019 - 6:39PM] SOLO LOG #1
Are you seeing this? This is the most beautiful sunset I’ve seen. I gotta get a shot of this-
Hey! Hey! I could help you take a picture with the sunset if you want to!
Oh! Would- Would you? That’d be great!
Of course! 
...
Here. Is it alright?
Yeah, yeah, it’s cool! Thank you so much!
Are you recording something? Is it a- Are you vlogging? Are you a vlogger?
Yeah, no... I’m actually on a solo trip for a bit.
Oh, where are you from?
Just the next state. 
Ah! You’re taking a break off... life then? I assume? Sorry if that came out weird.
No! No no! It’s alright! Yeah, I just needed a short break from... y’know, school and everything. My semester ended pretty early on so I took the chance to come out here and... see some new sights, meet some new people.
I get that. Well, for a start, what’s your name?
Oh, I’m y/n. Nice to meet you! And you?
I’m Eric. 
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[REC: APRIL 4, 2019 - 10:34PM] SOLO LOG #2
It is the 4th of April, 2019. I know, I know, I’m meant to do a daily vlog for all the 50 days I’m here but... it’s been... wow. Um... so I met Eric, the first day I touched down. The beach is just, about a 10 minute walk down and the sunsets are absolutely gorgeous. But uh... call me a fool and say that I’m living in the clouds but- what are the chances?
He’s funny, he’s such a great person to be around with y��know? Never a moment of like, awkwardness or stress and my God, look at me talking about a boy like that, though I met him 2 days ago. 
...
Um, he’s a freelance model. For those freelance shoots by UNIQLO or Target or something and he complains about the pay sometimes, but he looks good infront of a camera, so he’s... actually the one who won at life, really.
I’m not seeing him soon because he’s got a shoot out of town and he’ll be back next week. But I did get his number and he’s been texting me since. 
...
Wouldn’t it be funny if we end up together and then I have this whackass of a reel to show him? Jesus... I need to stop getting ahead of myself here. Freakin’ living in the clouds, aren’t I?
...
Anyway, I’m gonna go and see if I can get my weird projector shit up and working. See you.
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[REC: APRIL 7, 2019 - 5:14AM] SOLO LOG #3
It is... 5am... uh, April 7th- and I was just binging FRIENDS through the night, waiting for the sunrise before I get some shut eye and then... Eric just asked me out. Oh my God! Um, he’s coming back this Thursday and I’ll go see him at the airport before we go get dinner.
It was really funny ‘cause he had to wake up early for a shoot today and so his day has just begun but mine’s coming to an end and I just- I’m rambling so much, it’s kinda- it’s kinda sad, isn’t it?
I think I’m too happy to sleep right now so I’m just gonna text him some more before the sun rises- oh! He replied!
...
Anyway, I’m gonna go and finish up this last episode before sleeping. Hopeful I can sleep. Bye!
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[REC: APRIL 11, 2019 - 4:28PM] SOLO LOG #4
I am on my way out right now to go meet Eric at the airport, and I’m... it’d be an understatement to say that I’m excited. I know I’ve only known him for like, 2 days before he left but... I miss him. Is that possible? Missing someone despite knowing them for 2 days?
Anyway, I gotta go. Don’t wanna be late to see him.
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[REC: APRIL 13, 2019 - 10:23AM] SOLO LOG #5
Oh! Is that what you had-
Yeah! It’s the same camera!
What are you vlogging for, actually? Like-
Nothing, really. It’s just for my own usage-
Wait, you didn’t like set that up last night while we-
Oh, God, no! Who do you think I am?
I don’t know, I mean, we’ve known each other for... is it two weeks-
Just under two weeks-
Jeez-
I know, I know, oh my God.
...
I don’t regret it though. Yeah, like- I don’t really go down to the beach that often in the first place and it just- it just so happened that you were there that day and I saw you struggling with this old thing-
I was not struggling!
Yeah you were!
I wasn’t-
I’m kidding! Gosh, you’re so cute.
...
Are you gonna have the camera recording while this carries on?
I forgot it was on-
One day we’re gonna accidentally make a sex tape-
Eric!
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[REC: APRIL 17, 2019 - 1:15AM] SOLO LOG #6
-ould you pass me the hot water?
Mm? What?
The kettle over on the counter. Careful, it’s hot. Yeah, thanks.
Do you need help with-
It’s just instant noodles, sweet. Doubt I need a diploma for this. You’re recording again?
Yeah, does it bother you?
No, no, ‘course not. Though that means I can’t really do whatever I want to now.
What does that mea-
...
I can... still taste that bit of milk tea you had just now-
Could you tell it’s zero sugar?
I don’t think that matters, it’s still sweet and not great for your health to have that so much.
Aw, and yet you’re the one who suggested noodles at this timing, yeah?
You were hungry too!
...
Here, it’s done. Help me get the bowls? 
Did you even wash these?
Yeah, I did. If you don’t trust me, you can run them under the water for a bit.
Mhm. Here.
If it’s not enough, we can call for Macs.
Y’know, I’ve never had Macs past midnight back at home.
What? Really? Well, when you get back in May, would you try?
Yeah, why not? Maybe I’ll do that when I’m back in school. 
...
What date is it today?
April... hold on, um, 17. Careful, that’s hot.
...
When are you leaving again?
May 22. 
Are you planning on coming back anytime soon after?
I don’t know. I have school to worry about and the only other time I can come back’s probably during winter break in November.
...
I won’t be around in November.
Mm? Why not?
I’m moving.
To where?
I’m not sure yet, but I need to move depending on whether I get it and where the shoot’s at.
Shoot? It’s a big project, huh?
Yeah, it’s- it’s a pretty big deal.
...
I’ll- Let me just go and...
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[REC: APRIL 20, 2019 - 7:49PM] SOLO LOG #7
-idn’t have to!
No, c’mon! It’s such a great time to get this on camera! Come on, tell us what just happened!
Well, I just scored a huge model contract with Calvin Klein - in Manhattan.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I’m so fucking proud of you, oh my God! Can you believe it-
No, fuck off, I can’t either! 
Oh! Calvin Klein!
...
I swear, you’re an angel sent to me-
Fuck off!
I’m serious! it’s so timely- I just can’t- I’m just so happy to have met you.
...
Well, you heard it first here, ladies and gentlemen. Eric Sohn is a new model for Calvin Klein - Manhattan.
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[REC: APRIL 21, 2019 - 12:40PM] SOLO LOG #8
It is 12.40pm... April 21st, 2019. I’m finally back in my apartment after crashing at Eric’s for the last... 10 days? I think it was 10 days. My clothes were running out and I didn’t want to hike up his water bills so I just came back and- y’know did my own laundry.
...
Well, it’s- it’s been an absolute dream. The last thing I expected to... have, or meet? Here, is Eric. Um, but I know I’m probably going to regret this. Especially when May 22 comes. Uh... this is... it’s real bad. I mean, we’re great, y’know? But... it’s bad, because I know it’ll hurt. Like a bitch. When my time here is up, and I gotta go back to my reality, and Eric’s gotta stick to his. 
We haven’t really talked about it. May. I don’t think he wants to, and I don’t think I want to either. 50 days is too short. Either that, or I shouldn’t have come here in the first place. I shouldn’t have gone to the beach that day, in that hour. 
...
I just wish we had more time. I wish 24 hours were... maybe about 100 seconds more per minute. Does that make sense? 160 seconds per minute. Then again, I don’t think that’d solve my problem. I’ll still be on a ticking... time bomb. 
...
I know I shouldn’t say this. I know I can’t. I know I can’t afford to. But... I... I love him. I love Eric. With every... bit of me. It’s so... disgustingly cliché, but I feel so... comfortable with him. There’s really nothing we’d fight about, and even if we disagreed on something, we’d play it off like a debate, then forget about it the next day.
...
I love him. I do. And I’m going to regret this later. Without a doubt.
...
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[REC: APRIL 27, 2019 - 2:02AM] SOLO LOG #9
-ou can see the stars?
I don’t know, that’s why I’m trying, sweet.
...
Can you see them?
Yeah, maybe if I just turn this ISO- Oh! I can kinda see the North Star-
Oh! Yeah, you can! It’s really feint though.
Right.
It’s okay, we can just lay it down here-
On the grass? Will your camera be fine?
Yeah, yeah, or else you can just put in on top of my bag- here.
...
Here, can you see me? Am I in frame?
Yeah, you’re in frame.
Okay, great. Now get over here!
...
I can taste the smoothie you had just now.
Too sweet?
A little.
...
Oh my God! Put me down! Oh- not there! It’s ticklish- AHHHHH!
...
y/n, I have something to tell you.
Mm? What is it?
...
Hello? Earth to Eric?
I... I love you. So much... and I can’t bear to see you go in May. 
Oh, Eric...
No, I- I don’t want you to stay- or even think about it, ‘cause, you have your priorities and I have mine y’know...
Mhm.
I just... I just wished we had more time. 
I do too. I really do.
...
Eric?
Hm?
I love you too.
...
...
...
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[REC: MAY 1, 2019 - 4:23AM] SOLO LOG #10
1st May. 4...30? Am? I believe. Um, Eric’s sound asleep in his bed and I couldn’t sleep so I decided to do a log. 
...
I have... 3 weeks left. 4 weeks have gone past just like that, and I don’t know what to think about it. I came for a 50-day retreat. No stress, just myself and peace and quiet and tranquility and yet-
...
I- I don’t know if I can do this.
...
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[REC: MAY 7, 2019 - 3:58PM] SOLO LOG #11
So, Eric’s in shoot right now and I’m on the way into the studio with some donuts and coffee to surprise him. I called his manager and asked if it was okay so- I’m pretty psyched to see his workspace. 
...
Hi, I’m y/n, I’m here to visit Eric?
Ah, okay! Hold on, let me just get you signed in with the pass-
Count me in!
You sure? This Saturday at the prep-party?
Yeah- Oh! 
Eric!
y/n! What are you doing here?
I wanted to surprise you. Am I... interrupting anything?
Oh, not at all!
You must be y/n! Eric’s told me so much about you!
Did he? And you are...?
I’m Chelsea! I’ve been attached to the same Calvin Klein contract he recently got, so you could say we’re colleagues!
Well, nice to meet you! Oh, right, these donuts and coffee are meant for you guys actually!
Oh! You’re too kind! Eric, you’re such a lucky man.
I know, she’s just... everything.
Anyway, thank you so much for these. I’ll bring them back down to the studio for the crew to share. But Eric’s pretty much done for the day actually, so you guys can leave if you want to!
Are you sure? Don’t you need help downstairs with the equipment?
No, no! It’s fine, there’re more than enough people downstairs. Go have your date, and maybe you can bring her along with you for the prep-party this weekend!
What’s the prep-party... preparing for?
Oh, you’re so adorable! It’s a prep-party for the end-of-May shoot we’re gonna have. it’s a collab with DAZED so it’s a pretty big project.
You never told me you were involved in a collab with DAZED.
I was gonna tell you today.
He has been pretty busy recently, maybe slipped his mind. Anyway, thank you so much for the donuts and I’ll hope to see you at the pier this Saturday, mm?
Yeah, sure. Thanks Chels.
No problem! It was so nice to meet you, y/n, I’ll see you Saturday!
Okay, bye!
Bye, Chelsea! It was nice to meet you!
Bye!
...
Sweet, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?
I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you said you’d end pretty late?
The filming was cut short because the shots were better than expected so we ended early.
Oh, I wanted to film you while you were at work.
You have that on?
Yeah- why?
No, just wondering. 
Are you uncomfortable?
No, no, it’s just... I really didn’t expect you to come to the studio. 
...
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[REC: MAY 11, 2019 - 11:12PM] SOLO LOG #12
It’s 11:12pm, 11th May, 2019. 11 days to departure.
...
I... saw... Chelsea and Eric... um, out by the garage- 
...
Well, I guess... it looked like they were just... having a really good talk. Or something. 
...
I left. I couldn’t watch it. So, I left without telling Eric. I did tell his boss that I wasn’t feeling well and I had to leave first. 
...
I guess this is the part where I regret it, isn’t it? Um... I don’t know... how... I’m gonna explain this to him when I see him again. Which is supposed to be- um- the rest of the night. I was supposed to go back to his place with him and I’ll stay for the weekend before I come back to pack my things, so-
...
y/n, are you home?
...
shit.
y/n, I know you’re home. I heard you talking. Open the door, I need to talk to you.
...
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[REC: MAY 12, 2019 - 2:00AM] SOLO LOG #13
...
I look like shit, don’t I? God, my eyes hurt like a bitch. 
...
I don’t think I need to say what just happened for you to guess what just happened, right? This... says it all. 
...
Fuck. 
...
I shouldn’t have come here. How did- How did my retreat turn out- turn out like this? 
...
This is- This is too much. Too much in too short... of a time. 
...
I don’t think... I don’t think I can do it. Not anymore. 
...
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[REC: MAY 19, 2019 - 9:59AM] SOLO LOG #14
It’s May 19th, 2019, almost 10am. I just came back from a morning walk by the beach just to... reminisce a little before I leave on Wednesday. 
...
I... haven’t seen Eric since the prep-party. I blocked him and I told him not to come over, though I think he has, like, a few times. I thought I heard someone come up to my door, but he never knocked. 
...
So, this is how it ends, huh? A 50-day romance cut short like that. Into about, 40? 
...
It’s crazy to think that I had... the experience of a whole relationship in 40 days. I definitely did not sign up for that when I booked this 50-day retreat. 
...
It was fun while it lasted, though. It was. I don’t think I’d find anybody else like Eric, and I guess it just sucks that it had to end like that. Things happen, right? That aren’t... in our control. 
...
...
...
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[REC: MAY 21, 2019 - 8:07PM] SOLO LOG #15
May 21st. About 8pm. I leave in about 15 hours. 
...
All my stuff’s packed. Definitely more things to bring home than I brought here. Half of these things were bought by Eric and given to me. I’m... actually not sure if I should bring them back. 
...
I don’t- I just don’t think I’d have the heart to throw them away.
...
Nor look at them when I’m home. 
...
Should I even bring this camera home? Maybe I should wipe your memory before I bring you home, hmm?
...
It feels like a dream, doesn’t it? Everything that’s happened. It feels like a fever dream. Maybe when I’m finally home, I’d wake up and it’d be the day I come here.
...
Maybe.
...
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[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 10:03AM] SOLO LOG #16
-ny more luggage?
Nope.
Alright then, I think you’re all set. You still have about an hour’s time before the gates are open so you can get a cup of coffee or something, yeah?
Okay, thank you!
Have a nice flight ma’am.
Thanks.
...
Good evening ma’am, can I check your boarding pass?
Yeah, sure.
...
Okay, you’re good to go. Have a safe flight.
Thank you!
...
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[REC: MAY 22, 2019 - 11:34AM] SOLO LOG #17
It is about 11.30am and I’m on the flight, and here’s the view outside. Sky’s pretty clear and this thing says that the weather’s great so, it should be a smooth flight without turbulence.
...
This is it. This is really it. 
...
...
...
Um-
Hi, ma’am, I’m gonna need you to keep your camcorder.
Oh! Yeah, sure, sure, sorry!
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[REC: APRIL 2, 2020 - 12:48AM] ERIC LOG #1
Wow, this is... weird. How did you do this last year?
...
Um, hi. y/n. If you’re watching this then I’ve somehow managed to get this synced into your camera by some weird... bluetooth, iCloud shit that Felix helped me figure out. 
...
It’s been a year. And... I just thought you should... see this, or hear me out, at least. I know we didn’t end on the best terms... and I’m sorry. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have yelled at you for being unreasonable for something that was... suspicious. I should’ve understood. 
...
I should’ve been there. To see you off. And I’m sorry I didn’t. I... was scared, that I wouldn’t be able to let you go if I went to send you off. I was a coward. I still am. 
...
But I do want you to know that... those 50 days were the best days of my life. Albeit it ended horribly, but nothing could... nothing- nothing will ever replace what happened last April. 
...
I said I love you and... I still do. Every day I think about you and your smile and your voice and- and I cry to sleep... worrying that I’d forget how you sound like, or how you laugh and how... how you smell like. My bed smelt like you even after you left. 
...
I just- I love you. And I miss you. And I’d do anything to go back to what we had. I’d do anything to get- to get you back. 
...
I’m sorry.
...
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the clip comes to an automatic stop. the white triangle slapped onto the screen, begging you to play it again. you look up from the screen, watching the famous calvin klein ad that hasn’t stopped playing in the last month. 
he hasn’t changed one bit. not his hair, not his smile, not his voice. 
it’s a bittersweet pot of memory stashed in the back of your head when the memories flood back. looking back down at the camera, you count back the days - it was synced just last night. 
the pile of tissues by your thighs are carelessly huddled into the bin next to your feet, mentally berating yourself for going through the memory instead of formatting it. 
you stand, fingers shutting the screen back onto its body with a soft click. the tv blacks out when you press the red button on its remote. 
you’re halfway into your kitchen when there’s a knock at your door, and you immediately gasp, blinking rapidly.
“oh, it’s my fucking projector!”
rushing to the door, you don’t hesitate to get the door open. 
and yet, like the heavens were providing you with all the light to stop you from doubting yourself, your lungs empty themselves like vacuums. 
your heart stops.
your breathing stops.
“eric... what are you doing here?”
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