#if ur reading this far-im just in the very beginning stages of working on a Leander cosplay too!

[portsandstars]

Some more pictures from the last time I wore this cosplay, hopefully I can do a full photoshoot soon:)

[mooswords]

OKAY MOO, I’M CURRENTLY READING UR FIC “Home” AND I’M— THE END OF THE FIRST PART WAS SO BEAUTIFUL. “he always comes home” -> IT’S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL CONTRAST TO THE BEGINNING!!! he gets lost in his OWN fields, and that’s saying something. however, despite that, the reader still being reassured (or as much as she can reassure herself) that he always comes home = he has the red string to BRING HIMSELF BACK TO THE READER = ALWAYS COMING HOME. I’M!!!! and i love the silly banter that opened the story. aLso HIS HESISTATION OVER TELLING THE READER THE JOB HE WAS ASSIGNED... BECAUSE HE WAS WORRIED ABT THE READER.... AKDKSKKSKS. the fact he didn’t accept the offer immediately DESPITE being so in love with the sea and waited for reader’s permission is such a SMALL thing, but when you describe his love for the sea as superior, that action shows he loves the reader even more and i just- SLKDKAKDKSK. i might be over-reading and i apologise if i do bUT DO COMMENT ON IT THANK U!! 🤩💜 - ava

u sent me these eons ago and i promise i wasnt ignoring you ive just been working like 10 hour days and i am Exhausted 😭😭 but all of these messages legitamately give me life, i am so incredibly grateful! <3 im so so glad you enjoyed this fic!! and you are NOT OVERREADING I LOVE TO SEE YOUR INSIGHTS!!!! it makes me fall back in love with the fic all over again! <3 

i am SO glad that him always coming home comes through! because it gets kinda dire in the middle of the fic so i wanted there to be that hope at the back of your mind that knew he always came home. but i wanted you to be stressed about it still so :) and silly banter is my favourite part of writing this guy, i had so much fun with it alskdf.

and ok i love u, you got everything i was trying to do there <33 like i was struggling to find the balance between her reluctance and supportiveness. thats a fun (and tricky) thing about established relationship fics i find... theres that depth of understanding that can make the interactions more interesting, but so much of it is unspoken. it was a good challenge! so its so GOOD to hear that it vibes right hehe

THE WAY KUROO PLAYS WITH THE STRING!!! THAT WAS SUCH A FOND MOMENT OMG AKDKSKDK. and it’s so interesting that it appeared before kuroo even left 👀👀👀

she already missed him 🥺🥺 i originally had him tug on her hair and then i went!!! wait!!!! we can do better than that!!!!!!!!

READER IS LOST WITHOUT KUROOO!!!! AKDKSKSK and i also love the little addition where despite it being a POUT, she holds it close to her heart. with the context of their banters + that little scene, it just shows me how much each appreciate every ounce of the other party which makes me SO SO SO SOFT AKDJSKDKSK. and then hitting me with the scene where reader is eating a meal alone??? a punch in the gut. when she realised she’s alone I TOO remembered that kuroo is gone and that softness established in the previous scene is sUCKED OUT—ASKDKSKSKSK. 

im just a little obsessed with the little things and gestures that make u fall in love with someone? like the specific way my friend twirls her pen while were in lectures, or how my dad has that one little smile when hes amused himself with his own joke... and for that to be a last lifeline for her to hold on to before he leaves :’))) I JUST LOVE EST RELATIONSHIP FICS OK?!

hehehe yes im sorry about that puch to the gut oops 😇 that was a scene i had super clear in my head before i started - the bright, bright string against the relative drab of the table and room.

i’m at the part where reader gets lost and let me tell u, the fact they have a WAY to communicate via string pulling alone is SO ENDEARING and just subtly hints they have been at this whole red string thing for AGES (or at least enough to form such an understanding). that’s ADORABLE and really strengthens the bonds they have together 

yessssssssssss as soon as i thought of this idea i knew it had to be an established relationship. i have it in my brain they have been married maybe 2-3 years?? i am such a sucker for unspoken understanding relationships :’)

“You push hurriedly through the crowd, ducking between market stalls and wagons. There’s no string to follow, but you don’t need it to find him today.” THIS SENTENCE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL in the context of the entire story. and what a perfect way to describe/show the reader that it’s THE DAY. MOO, you’re really serving such great kuroo x reader stories please continue AHHAHA

this entire fic was so self indulgent please dshlfkljadsb but im glad u like this line!! i tend to try visualise the scene like a movie first? and then write it, and this was also one of the first scenes that was super clear in my brain :D

402 DAYS!!!! I SEE WHAT U DID THERE 👀👀 also, is this is a little hint to how u had to wait until the end to see timeskip kuroo? HAHAHA that wld be adorable

WAIT YO THATS CLEVER? I DIDT EVEN- ava when i say that is a COMPLETE coincidence... i literally just picked a number that was longer than 365 days... breaking news i am a secret genius JKBDSCN

i also really liked the “in-between”: of reader’s life without kuroo. u can really see how integrated they are to each other’s lifestyle, and not only that, the scene where reader handles a twin’s birth (to me) strengthens how they’re reallllly soulmates. there is a low chance that kuroo knew reader was in a desperate situation, yet he pulled on the string at the time reader needed it. it’s just—telapathy but not really + soulmate system = SOULMATES. do i make sense? and i really love the details, like how we can trace back kuroo’s scar to a moment of reader’s life in the fic. putting it at the end sort of makes me reflect on their situations that happened simultaneously yet not really. it sort of fills me in with this,,, space. that the earth is so wide. i understand deeper what reader means by “oh he’s going to be gone for so long”. it’s just. wow. the earth is so big yk.

YES YOU MAKE TOTAL SENSE!!! it's such a lovey way of looking at it :') can they communicate and understand eachother like this cuz theyre soulmates? or just because they love each other and have learnt the other inside out?? hhnn this is why i love soulmate aus, theres so much to pull apart!!!

and ok yes on the topic of how big the earth is... im so glad u mentioned this, its my favourite part because (not to get like... super sappy or anything) i was writing this through the toughest stages of our second lockdown. our restrictions got to the point we werent allowed further than 5km from out homes, so writing about freedom and big spaces and exploration of far off places was such a nice escape for me :’) this fic has ended up very close to my heart. (plus i was reading @/w-yuren’s hq0819 series at the time so i had travel and adventure on the brain hehe) 

THE ENDING.... THE ENDING.... THE WAY KUROO ASKED READER TO KI** HIM—IT’S LIKE THE KUROO IN MY HEAD YESSSSS. Gosh, this line too “when he kisses you he tastes like the sea; like salt-spray and dry rations and freedom.” may i have a director’s cut abt it :3 AND AKDJSKSK. i really love how the string appeared even tho they were together (the scene before kuroo docked on the ship) and once again, they are together, but none of them are lost because they r together-together. do i make sense? am i overreading things??? again, i have to comment on the banter. it’s simply amazing. kuroo’s replies are so,, KUROO, and they are filled with such FONDNESS I’M SO AKDKSKSK.

IM SO GLAD HE VIBES THANK U I THINK THE FONDNESS IS MY BIAS SHOWING BUT SHHHHH ;P you have picked one of my favourite lines out heheh it was one that just flowed out and wasnt one i particularly had to think about which is always nice. but i think it is a combo of me trying to be fancy lol and me being a huge fan of fantasy-books-set-on-ships. think like explorers or pirates, some rag tag bunch who have to set off on some quest and come back with some of that wildness imbued in their very being... yeah this line was definitely born from me Yearning i think :P

ooo do you mean the wedding scene? that was me trying to hit the ‘feeling lost in a crowd’ idea. you know when youre surrounded by people and joy and laughter and you just feel very small and disconnected? that.

ALSO READER’S DYANAMICS WITH KARASUNO CHARACTERS IS ADORABLE AKDKSKSKK. the festival scene was such a breather and it was adorable to see her interact with those characters. it feels like a snapshot in her life i simply adore that :3

ahh yea! i wanted her to have a life, you know? shes not the type to mope around, like life goes on. that doesnt mean she doesnt miss him oof but theres a whole community around to support her too!! and im very fond of takeda in this scene :’) he takes care of his crows <3

I RAMBLED SO BAD BUT THANK U AGAIN LOVELY I CANT EXPLAIN HOW AMAZING THESE ARE TO RECIEVE <3  

[ohoshi]

omg first i need to talk about nct at song festival (gayo daechukjae) umm first of all mark and taeyongs rap was so good but ofc we all knew they would kill it. and then in nct U class, teacher taeyong looked so good...the way he bit that pointer stick thing in the beginning was so sexc (and the hair and the glasses ahdsfasjf) 😳 but also sungchans rap in that?? i was not expecting that but why am i even surprised anymore.. and also misfit live?? i loved nct's school uniform concept too for some reason ahahaha

and then xiaojun in resonance!! wow yes go shine xj!!! (also idk why but i found it so funny when it was doyoung's turn after xj, but xj was kinda blocking dy (who was really walking with a PURPOSE) so dy lightly pushed him out of the way) and then omg shotaro!! offstage he is so 😊 but damn in hard carry he was so good!! ahh and then also the thing where all the kpop artists at gayo daechukjae sang that song was so cute (i smiled so hard when nct came up 🥺)

yea for my job situation i think it will be okay, i talked to some people i know/mentors about it too and i think things will work out...they always do in the end right? 😊 now about anime LOL this is making me wanna start/rewatch an anime now hahahah! honestly i kind of have phases where i alternate between kdramas and animes, but i havent rly watched anime much lately besides haikyuu (which i was also surprised was still airing (but it's only season 2 so far?)). kpop (aka NCT) has been consuming my life lmao but im here for it 😂

weightlifting fairy was also my first kdrama!! yes i can totally give u some kdrama recs! besides the ones i mentioned before (which are most of my top ones), i also liked chicago typewriter, marriage not dating (i love the fake relationship trope hahaha), dinner mate, sky castle (it's kinda intense but it's so good and an iconic kdrama), cheer up, another miss oh, kingdom (if you like zombie things)...i heard startup is good and i want to watch it soon too! also i continued watching more of uncanny counter these past few days and i love it (but it's ongoing so no binging)

okay now svt: i watched some of your recs and youre so right all their choreos are so satisfying?! i also actually agree with you about black on black, i liked black on black and it was cool but it only featured like 5 members lmao and in the svt choreos it does feel like all of them are featured in some way in each performance? plus their choreos are just so great to watch!! also i've had left and right stuck in my head since i watched it LOL but i agree it's objectively better than dynamite (not an army though; also pls nobody come at us for this lmaoo)

also super random but can you tell me who is the one in the red/purple plaid shirt in the svt home dance practice?? i am kinda attracted by his dance moves LOL and i havent learned names yet 😭 i will continue watching all ur svt recs though hehehe and update you on the status of my fangirling :))

omg wait also i would never have guessed that you're not an english speaker just from these messages!! how did you know that i was prob a native speaker haha (i guess *technically* cantonese is my first language, but then i learned english in school so now i'm obviously more native in that lol and english is the only language i can read/write in)

OMGGF IKR as a multi stan i really enjoyed the rap collab especially because i really love monsta x's rap line (esp i.m!!! his rapping skill 😍) and of course mark and taeyong!!!! 😭 our boys 😭 our golden rappers 😭 SLAYED IT! omg the nct u got me 😳 taeyong looked so good???? wtf? and also sungchan? damn that boy keeps surprising me! the interesting part to me was when one member(johnny if i remember correctly) bumped into taeyong but it was done on purpose and how he uhhh kinda shook his body and his head but it all looked so cool and he never stopped rapping!!! love how they all 'performed' misfit manifesting wild teenagers in school (as they are tbh) IT WAS SO FUN AND COOL!!!

XIAOJUN!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAS SO!!!!!! GOOD!!!!!!! THE CONFIDENCE??? THE STAGE PRESENCE????? XIAOJUN CENTER???? XIAOJUN BEING RELEVANT????? i live 😭 he was so good he looked so good i was so happy and i'm so proud of him 😭 from here the only way to go is up! i hope he keeps surprising us! and omg i haven't noticed that part when doyoung pushed him bc he blocked him?? and i just rewatched it and it looks funny 🤣 but they held everything professionally 😌  no surprises there 😌

OH MY GOD THE HARD CARRY PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!!! first of all our boy shotaro DAMN 😳 he looked so good you couldn’t say that he just debuted a few months ago!! such a dancing machine! (but honestly i am not surprised because in make a wish he was rly good and he debuted as a dancer i expected from him to be good™ as he is!) and i love the duality od him <3 yk that kind of idol that you want to protect at all cost but the next second they're the one you seek protection from? yeH sign me uP! and don't even get me started on hyunjin, juyeon and moonbin!!!!! but i mean all 3 of them are main dancers of course they would look good™ 😌 (yeah shotaro performed with 3 main dancers of 3 different groups i mean the honor??????)

the end of the festival was so wholesome! It was a serotonin boost and me too i also smiled the whole time! so cute 😭 and ot23 were cutiesssss

yes! everything will work out in the end! don't stress about it!<3 oh haikyuu only has 2 seasons? wtf hsgsjsgs ok then i just watched when it had like 13 episodes, WHEN IT FIRST CAME OUT that's when i watched it lmao

OMG OK I HAVE WRITTEN DOWN ALL OF THESE DRAMAS (and from the previous ask) IN MY NOTES SO FAR im mostly excited about the fake relationship one 👀 i love fake relationship trope, too 🤧 oh no binging?? is that your thing?? usually i love to wait for the show to finish airing and then i binge watch it in a few days (or one day depends how busy i am)

SEVENTEEN!!!!: yeah all of their choreos are so satisfying (pointing this out one more time) they always pay attention to details (for example in home, bc you're familiar with it, they even choreograph the hands and pay attention to them while most of the other kpop choreos very often freestyle the whole arms sjagaj) here's a fun fact abt svt that makes me love them so much agsgsj: they're self produced! they produce their own music and they even come up with their own choreos!! (of course not on their own, woozi is a producer but he's not making songs on his own he coproduces them with [a producer name bc i guess that's irrelevant but if you’re curious: bumzu], they come up with their own choreo (to be precise, hoshi does! he is 1/2 main dancers in group and he is the main choreographer! he doesn't do everything on his own of course, he gets help from the rest of the performance team (which is a svt subunit consisted of their 2 main and 2 lead dancers: hoshi, dino, the8, jun) and of course some other infamous kpop choreography teams) and i think that, by now, all the members were credited at least once for the lyrics

I'M SO GLAD YOU HAVE LEFT AND RIGHT STUCK IN YOUR HEAD HAGSJSSGSG but i mean of course you would it's soo good and soo catchy (yeahhh no worries, this army has already gotten minor hate for having controversial opinions™ and for criticising her faves so idc anymore 💁🏻‍♀️ it's my opinion as a dancer and i stand by it, even can't you see me by txt is better than dynamite so literally 3 dance performance were better!!!! in a way!!!! and neither of the 3 won!!! yes i am salty!!!!!)

the guy in the red/purple shirt (the center guy when they do the 3 dances for the first time right??) IS DINO!!!! he's the maknae and 2/2 main dancers in svt so!!! of course you would be attracted by his moves!!!!!! JSGSJSN i'm curious to see if you end up staning svt and biasing dino hsfsjsgsha

CANTONESE IS YOUR FIRST LANGUAGE? damn i thought you couldn’t get more interesting here's a dumb question: can you understand xiaojun, hendery and lucas without titles??? not that i would know if they ever speak cantonese in front of the camera for i don't know the difference between chinese dialects</3

[ofeliancs]

⋆ * ✰ — ( odeya rush. twenty-one. she/her. cisfemale. ). i hope that eliana abraham isn’t late for their shift again. i swear to god they can be so impetuous & stubborn sometimes. then again i know joe hired them two of years ago because they’re charismatic & nurturing, whatever. every time they’re working they always want to play break my stride by matthew wilder, it kinda drives me up the wall. they’re studying musical theatre & composition at northview university. i think they ended up working at empire because she wanted to pay for school but still be around music. they remind me so much of marked up scripts, the third iced coffee of the day, heart-shaped sunglasses, the sun shining through sheer white curtains.

hi angels!! i’m kristin and i’m SO excited for this rp it’s so cute??? i’m also rlly excited to bring my obnoxious lil baby it’s been so long since i’ve written for her. all of her links are below, so please give this a like if you’d like to plot!!

stats // connections // pinterest

so i’m gonna start this by saying eliana is A LOT to handle sometimes so im sorry for her in advance but also pls love her

ANYWHO lets get on w the show

eliana was born and raised in derby. like i kid you not this child has not lived anywhere else so friends at the store that she’s known since diapers?? its more likely than you think (pls give me that pls)

her father, daniel is a fairly well known lawyer in the city and her mother, ruth is a writer. that being said money wasn’t necessarily an issue for the abraham family, but their children also weren’t spoiled. daniel abraham would be damned if he ever discovered he had raised brats.so like basically they HAD money but didn’t like to flaunt it ya know

as much as it pains me to not have any tragedy eliana grew up in a pretty standard childhood???? raised by nice jewish parents who took care of their kids as much as they could, good education, good grades. nothing traumatic to report rip

BUT lemme tell you eliana wasn’t a standard child o no

first off she was always a tiny lil ball of energy. she was always running around and talking anyone’s ear off that gave her the chance and it was either adorable or you wanted to punch her in the face

hc that she was the actual worst in preschool??? she prob never took naps and was prob too loud oops

beginning in her childhood years, ellie showed a passion for two things- theatre and music, specifically writing. she participated in every school and community theatre production she could, and spent any free time she had writing a melody, a song lyric, anything that popped into her head. 

it was her aunt that first encouraged her to make a career out of her passions, and she began pushing harder with her writing and performing. 

she spent most weekends at the piano during her junior and senior year.

she graduated high school with plans of moving to new york city to pursue a career in musical theatre, hoping to be able to perform and continue to write her own songs. 

her biggest dream is to write a full musical and it’s in the works currently (she’s also writing on her breaks every day).

ofc she was advised by her parents to go to school first to work on her craft before she left, and she agreed. not wanting to move too far away (aka new york) just yet, opted for northview university where she is double majoring musical theatre and composition!!

she’s been working at empire records for two years now. it began as a way to help her parents pay for her tuiton (and set some aside to move to new york), but over the years it’s become more than just a job to her and she really loves working at empire.

she’s graduating college in may and the thought of having to leave this job when she moves makes her sad :((( 

okay so personality overview!! 

god she’s everywhere 

if i could put her into a label, it would the dynamo which quite literally means “an extremely energetic person” SO there’s that. she does come off a bit strong at times but she means well and just has a lot of energy

she is also very soft but WAIT she’s also a strong bitch with bde sorry i don’t make the rules. she fights for what she believes in and won’t stop for anything that gets in her way if it comes to it.

if ur working with her on any given day she will greet you with a hug every day i don’t make the rules sorry

side note: im in love w her

is actually 5′1 but will FITE

will sometimes do and/or say stupid shit but it’s fine we’re fine

want to do something dumb at 3 in the morning? call her and she’ll be there in 5 minutes

i don’t wanna say she’s an idiot but ,,,,, im not NOT saying it either

but yes she’s an idiot

also a giant meme don’t take most of what she says seriously

has a tiktok account and sometimes just quotes tiktoks once again I DON’T MAKE THE RULES she’s just the most obnoxious

protective binch. if u mess with the people she really cares abt she will battle. she doesn’t get angry a lot but if you somehow make her im sorry

also?????? a clumsy bitch. will knock over everything bc she can’t walk in a straight line and just falls a lot

how are you a performer but also accident prone? i don’t know don’t ask me

bottom line is i just love her and would Die for her thank u

pls love her

i have a connections page but here’s my most wanted connections!!

a best friend- her favorite person and closest companion. will also accept a trio squad tbh?? 

childhood friend- ellie has lived in derby her entire life so she’s definitely made friends at every stage of life, so someone that’s been her friend for almost two whole decades would be awesome

practically family- people that she has grown such a close bond with that she sees them as another sibling at this point.

the secret fling- this is a wc that i have up which you can read more about right here, but it’s also open to any current members if it sparks anyone’s interest. feel free to message me if you have questions about it!! (i have some inspo if needed)

[roxannepolice]

But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem: 

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland. 

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief. 

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one. 

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither. 

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist. 

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no. 

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

[nogoodmox]

since it’s late n u guys have been so encouraging

i wanna preface this by saying....im not a Writer and this is pretty much the first wrestling-related thing i’ve ever written. also this was written at 3 am yesterday so pls keep that in mind ALSO it’s not very. romantic bc 1.) im not good with that stuff and 2.) it’s kinda covering the early stages of their relationship so they’re barely even friends yet! (this takes place right before war games!)

that being said thanks for being so nice abt it guys ur all the sweetest and i love u and i’m sorry this isn’t Better but constructive criticism would be appreciated! mwah!

Pete tapped his fist against his jaw in a needless effort to hype himself up.

The guaranteed brutality of his upcoming match didn’t faze him—brutality was his specialty, after all— but despite that, he couldn’t shake off an uncomfortable feeling.

Maybe it was the thought of having to rely on others for his victory, or maybe it was the thought of them relying on him. Neither were things that he was exactly used to.

He wondered, when the time came, if he would put himself in harm’s way for the sake of the others.

Pete thought of the last time he had relied on someone. It was ironic in a way, how the same person he had tentatively began to trust would be one of his opponents tonight.

He had never really thought of Roderick as a friend, just a sort of unavoidable ally. His eagerness had been irritating as was his general disposition, but Pete had chosen to put his trust in him. A choice he’d come to regret.

He liked to believe that the betrayal had made him all the more dangerous now. Not only could he use his desire for vengeance to his advantage, he’d also be sure not to make a mistake like that again.

Pete had operated just fine on his own for as long as he could remember. There were a select few times where he’d tried opening up, and each time he paid for it. It took a few experiences for the lesson to be drilled into his brain, but at least now there was no way he could forget it.

He should stick with what he knew best, and what he knew best was solitude.

Keep interactions short and bitter. You look out for one person, and that person is yourself. Everyone else is simply an obstacle or dead weight.

It was a philosophy he lived by, and one he truly believed in. There just happened to be times where he’d let it slip and thought maybe, just maybe, someone could be an exception. But they never were.

A steady knock on the locker room door disrupted his thoughts. A faint feeling of pain registered in Pete’s jaw as he realized he’d been tapping his fist against it this whole time. Before he could say anything, the door opened and Ricochet’s head popped in.

“You got a minute?”

Pete didn’t answer, he just raised an eyebrow when he noticed something in Ricochet’s hands. It looked like a tube of toothpaste.

Ricochet followed his gaze and held up the object, wiggling it in his hand. “Oh, this? Yeah, it’s kinda why I’m here, actually.” He walked up to Pete and held it out to him. Pete read the label, which only confused him more.

“White….face paint?”

The other man adjusted his North American Championship on his shoulder. “Yeah. Y’know, war paint for tonight. It was Hanson and Rowe’s idea. They figured we should at least look like a cohesive unit.”

“What’s the point of that?” Pete deadpanned. “Face paint won’t get us a win against Undisputed Era.”

Ricochet looked at a loss for a second, then sighed. “C’mon man. It’s to pump you up, get you excited to kick some ass. Plus it’ll look cool, yeah?”

Pete wasn’t very convinced, but he wasn’t in the mood to argue. He did admittedly like the idea of amping up the intimidation factor, not that he was going to tell Ricochet that. “Fine. Might as well fool people into thinking we’re a real team.”

“S’that supposed to mean? We’re a real team. Cole and his cronies are gonna see just how real we are tonight.” Ricochet declared, giving Pete a few taps on the chest.

Pete stiffened at the contact and glared at the highflier. Ricochet was someone who currently fell under the obstacle category in Pete’s eyes. He hadn’t forgotten the match where both their titles had been on the line. They never received closure, and Pete intended to change that next time they crossed paths in the ring.

He’d prefer for Ricochet to stay an obstacle rather than become dead weight.

“I’ve said it before, you’re just a guy carrying a piece of gold that I want. As for the other two, they’ve already got each other. We may be on the same side, but we’re not a team.”

The grin on Ricochet’s face weakened a bit. “Man do you like, practice this stuff in a mirror before you talk to anyone?” He chuckled at his own joke—was it a joke? The weight of Pete’s words didn’t seem to mean much to him, however, as he quickly bounced back. “Anyway, face paint, yes or no?”

“Sure.” Pete said.

“Great.” Ricochet tossed the tube of paint to Pete. “Doll me up.”

Pete barely caught the tube in time. He whipped his head up to face Ricochet, trying to make sure he had heard him correctly. “What?”

Ricochet had placed his title on the bench next to him and met Pete’s gaze expectantly. “What? I can’t put it on myself. There’s no mirror in here.”

“Then find one.”

“No can do.” He almost looked smug, as if he had planned this. “Bathroom’s closed for repairs, apparently Kyle and Bobby thought it’d be fun to flush Sullivan’s gear down the toilet. He caught ‘em in the act.” Ricochet let out a whistle. “It wasn’t pretty.”

Pete didn’t want to hear any more. For whatever reason, Ricochet was intent on sporting war paint, he might as well indulge him. After tonight, he could set his sights on what really mattered.

“Alright. C’mere.” Pete placed his championship on the bench opposite of Ricochet’s and squeezed some paint onto his fingers.

He lifted his hand only to pause suddenly, leaving it hovering in front of Ricochet’s face. “What’s their paint look like anyways?”

Ricochet thought for a moment. “It’s like…a V shape on each cheek.” He explained, tracing the motion over Pete’s cheeks with his finger. “Simple enough.”

“Right.” Pete grunted, doing everything he could to ignore the way his face had heated up. He pressed his fingers to Ricochet’s face and began painting the design, trying his best to keep his hand steady.

Pete came to a halt when Ricochet started giggling quietly. He gave him a strange look, pulling his hand away.

The other man took a moment to compose himself, then cleared his throat. “Tickles.” Came the simple explanation. Pete rolled his eyes and continued with his work, retracing the lines to smooth out the jagged edges.

He paused again to add more paint to his fingers, avoiding Ricochet’s gaze. Pete could feel the man looking at him and unconsciously tossed his head a bit to let his hair cover his face.

As Pete started on the other cheek, he noticed Ricochet hadn’t stopped staring at him at him, almost amusingly.

“What?” Pete finally asked, with a hint of challenge.

Ricochet seemed unbothered. “You’re just a lot more careful than I thought you’d be” He said, a little quieter than usual. It was unclear if the remark was meant to be teasing. It seemed sincere enough, but even if it was Pete wasn’t sure what the implications were.

Pete said nothing and averted his eyes again, finishing with a final swipe. “There.” He muttered. “All done.”

“Great! I’ll just have to trust that it looks good.” Ricochet reached up to touch his freshly painted face, then decided against it. “Alright, your turn!”

Pete froze, he hadn’t thought that far ahead.

He wasn’t particularly keen on anyone paying close attention to his face.

It was bumpy and weird; he knew this. Acne scars and uneven stubble were just the beginning of it. It was something he’d learned to accept, but he wasn’t exactly dying for others to get a good look at it.

Regardless, he knew Ricochet wouldn’t take no for an answer. If he had, Pete wouldn’t have just spent the past few minutes spreading paint on his face in uncomfortable silence.

Ricochet took the paint tube from Pete’s hands. “You mind uh…” He made a hair flip motion. “Getting that out of the way?”

Pete looked down at his hands, covered in white paint, and decided to go with option two. He swung his head to the side—a little too forcefully—and flipped the blond mess back. He was satisfied for a moment before it came toppling back down in his face.

It was times like this where he seriously reconsidered growing out his hair.

“I gotchu.” Ricochet intervened, looking even more amused than before. He tucked Pete’s hair behind his ear to keep it from coming loose again. “Sure got a lot of hair homeboy.” He commented.

“Guess you can’t relate.” Pete replied bluntly.  

Ricochet laughed out loud at that, almost too eager to make fun of himself. “Guess not.” He emptied what was left of the paint into his hand and got to work. Pete winced at the cold feeling, trying not to pull away. “But you know,” Ricochet continued. “The lack of hair could be the secret to my speed.”

Pete wasn’t fully sure if he was joking. “I reckon that’s why you got pieces missing in your eyebrows too?”

The highflier laughed again, this time not as loud, but a huge smile graced his face. “Man, you’re alright.”

Ricochet spread the paint on Pete’s cheeks with ease, moving just as smoothly as he did in the ring. Pete fought with everything he had to try not to break out into a fit of laughter. Ricochet was right, the feeling made him ticklish. His lip curved upward in a smile that he quickly pushed away.

“All set.” Ricochet finally announced, looking proud of his work. Pete didn’t doubt that the man had probably done a better job than him. “Now we look like a force to be reckoned with.”

Pete held couldn’t help but soften his expression a bit. He felt cool, and far more relaxed than earlier. Once again, he wasn’t going to tell Ricochet that, but he appreciated the feeling. “If painting faces keeps you from screwing up tonight, then so be it.” He replied with a shrug.

Ricochet shook his head, and if Pete didn’t know any better he’d say he was annoyed. “You never quit do you? Y’know we can do this whole rivalry thing without all the little remarks, yeah?”

“Cause make no mistake,” Ricochet’s tone grew serious. “I’m just as focused on that title of yours as you are on mine.”

The sudden change surprised Pete, but it didn’t faze him. After all, this was why he kept up his guard so high. He knew behind every person there was a set of intentions, and each interaction with him was a means of achieving them.

“I’m well aware.” Pete said evenly. “S’why I’m not buying this partner ruse. We’re not friends, and we never will be.”

Ricochet paused for a moment. “Just ‘cause you’re a future opponent, doesn’t mean we can’t be on the same page now. It’s no ruse, I’ve got your back tonight. I mean that.”

“Better to have your own back first.”

Ricochet lifted his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking unsure of where to go from there.

“You’re a tough nut to crack.” He said finally, leaning down to grab his North American championship. When he came back up, he was smiling again. “But I’m willing to prove where my loyalties lie out there. There’s no hiding in the ring.”

Pete eyed him for a moment, then nodded briskly. “That’s one thing we can agree on.”

“I’ve got another. We both wanna beat the hell out of those undisputed assholes, right?” Ricochet offered. “That snake Roddy’s gonna be out there tonight. If you ask me, you should focus on giving him the ass whopping he’s had coming instead of making enemies out of your partners.”

An odd silence followed his words. Pete didn’t know how to respond, and Ricochet’s intense gaze wasn’t making it any easier. In his heart Pete knew he had a point.

He was more than willing to take on all four members of the Undisputed Era himself, but he knew realistically he wouldn’t come out victorious. He needed Ricochet and the War Raiders whether he liked it or not.

Just one night couldn’t be so bad, right? Even if it involved putting his faith in other people. Ricochet had nothing to gain from betraying him. Hanson and Rowe, he wasn’t so sure, but considering how fixated they had been on the Undisputed Era for the past several weeks, it was unlikely.

Ricochet saved Pete from having to muster up an answer by reaching over and picking up his United Kingdom Championship. Pete’s eyes widened and he tensed up, ready to snatch it out of his hands.

There was no need to, however, as Ricochet placed it snugly on Pete’s shoulder.

He gave it a few pats, admiring the intricate design on the belt for several moments.

Ricochet took a few steps back, his own title sitting around his waist. “You look good.” He said finally. “Let’s do work tonight, mate.”

Pete’s partner tossed the now empty paint tube in his hand once, then turned to saunter off.

“Not your mate.” Pete replied in a half-hearted protest. He couldn’t see Ricochet’s face as he left the room, but Pete knew he was smiling.

“By the way, the bathroom’s perfectly fine. Just figured we could use a team bonding exercise.”

[moonchildhcs]

parkjin headcanons!!

ur honestly both in awe at how ur in a relationship with each other because neither of u give urselves enough credit !!!! u r both sweethearts and visual gods

hyunjin: “wow ur so cute i cant believe ur dating me” parker: “no!! thats me @ u” god: “p l e a s e ur both cute babies and u deserve each other”

i digress

this bb is friends with some clingy ass mofos !!! like daehwi !!! ur getting the hugs u deserve and u will get no complaints from him abt ur affections either because hes just sitting their with you like o//w//o

dont believe this boys dangerous stage presence he is a softie through and through he will get you flowers and chocolates and everything you could possibly imagine !!! angel baby sweetie pie ur pumpy umpy umpkin !!!

he would absolutely love dancing with you !! he loves ur passion and drive to perform and is always willing to practice with u even when hes tired :( bb boy !! hes much nicer than chan tho lol but hes still a pretty strict teacher so expect some dramatic improvement under him

(also whenever you pull off a move properly he gives u a sweet s m o o c h so it encourages you to do even better for more opportunities to kiss ur bf)

bc hes an idol !! yall cant go out publicly for dates all the time so a typical date is yall goofing off at home, watching movies and shows on netflix, a romantic dinner if yall have the energy but generally takeout, blasting music and dancing around, etc etc he just loves being with you

but when its been a while he will absolutely take you out on cute dates!! sometimes cute elaborate picnics, sometimes a spontaneous trip around the city at night, but always without a fail fun and exciting, especially with your boyfie by ur side :^)

also initially he is SO shy with you !! like remember how shy he was around jinyoung ??? during the survival show??? multiply that by a MILLION this boy was so shy he blushed the deepest shade of red just by h*lding ur h*nd !!! he gains more confidence as the relationship progresses but pls be easy on this bb boys heart

also (wiggles eyebrows) yall can have some spicy kisses !! some intense makeout sessions !! but nothing further lol he is a SHY BOY and also very much 18 he is awkward and is not abt that life rn lol

like ur gonna be shocked at the duality because at the beginning of the relationship hes like “c-can i h*ld ur h*nd? and ur like “how did u censor that out loud” but now hes like “makeout with me” and ur like bitch WHAT but also okay lol

this boy is a solid eight inches taller than you lol if you think he wont even lightly tease you about the height difference you are wrong !! ur just chillin and hes like “hey :) hows the weather down there” and ur like “i will END you” and he blows a kiss ur direction and ur like “okay maybe not ur kinda cute. but comment on my height again and u will receive no mercy”

DUDE he is at the perfect height where he can rest his chin on ur head!! and give u forehead kisses !!!! he just loves u so much man !!! sure kissing u on the lips is great and all but kissing ur forehead?? CUTE

also so many of his shirts and hoodies disappeared and he was like ?????????? what !!! and then he saw you just DROWNING in his hoodie because he too loves oversized stuff and hes like. im fine with this (he takes photos and sets them as his home and lockscreen when they arent promoting) (this boy is GOOD at not getting caught)

dude when the Boiis found out u two were dating they LOST IT !!! interrogated then welcomed !! hyunjin was exposed by them a lot lol they exposed ALL the juicy stories and u were like :^)

dont worry tho ya girl laramie exposed u in kind so then hyunjin was like :^)

truly a bonding experience for the both of you

yall are both visual gods so sometimes u both will just. try on even the most ridiculous outfits and have a fashion show in the living room of ur technically shared apartment

yall take photos on ur phones in a super exaggerated manner in order to mimic the paparazzi and photographers and shout encouragements like “YES KING GET THAT BREAD” and “OH YES WORK IT”

willing to nerd out with you at a l l times !!!

oh my god him sleeping over when he can when hes not promoting and u waking up to him spooning u and just. big cuddle hours: activated

soft kisses before jokingly going “u have morning breath” and just the resounding GROAN before he threatens to leave u cold in the bed and ur like no wait-

hes trying to be frugal with his money as he hasnt been an idol for that long but he definitely buys you gifts from time to time when hes reminded of u

“babe i got this red panda plushie for u” (insert parkers unintelligible  shrieking here)

hes not the most jealous boyfriend actually !! he trusts you a lot and is okay with you being friends with whomever u please but sometimes he sees u fangiring over his seniors or smth and hes like >:( im a good performer too love me !!!! pls !! he just wants ur love smooch his cheeks and ull be good

also to get him flustered? peck his cheeks or (gasp) his NOSE he gets so flustered bc its so innocent but so intimate at the same time so he just gets so RED and stutters and ur just like :^) ah how the turn tables

this boy is a ROMANTIC through and through hes not old fashioned but he likes doing cheesy things like opening the door for you, giving you flowers, pulling out the chair for you, etc etc

he just wants to LOOOOOOOOOOVE you !!!!!

he doesnt go for too many pet names but babe and princess are what he leans towards !!

he practices his english on u and u practice ur korean on him (hint, ur better at korean than he is at english)

but he tries so hard and hes so cute !!! his english is so cute!! appreciate this baby pl s

him: “my hands are big so i can hold the world” u: “worm?” him: (holds ur cheeks) u: (choked) “w-worm?”

u guys r so cheesy but its so cute !! he just wants whats best for you

also you guys are no strangers to having deep and highly emotional talks because ur both very empathetic and vulnerable people

youve talked about ur insecurities and so has he!!! uve also both confronted the whole “ur not dating me because of my visuals/because im an idol right” and ur like “um?? no ur a sweetheart and a dedicated boii and performer and-” and then u go on a half hour long rant about all the things u love abt him and hes just like :’) i love you

whenever hes away for one reason or another, esp stuff like tours, he leaves a bunch of his clothes that smell like him so you wont feel as lonely !!! because the sad reality is is that on tours when hes not on stage hes practicing practicing practicing so keeping in touch is kinda hard

but he does his best !! he sends letters and text messages and voice messages and everything !! and when he can he facetimes you !!

we have ALL seen the boys instagram he will take a burst of 10000000 selfies on ur phone, plague u with the “ur icloud storage is almost full” messages, and it takes u 12239632485 years to delete them all (after making sure they are safely backed up into ur google photos)

yall are SO CUTE and take so many couple photos !!! yall are that iconic couple and u generally post these on ur super exclusive finsta but sometimes u sneak in a blurry pic of him on ur main or even a censored pic of him and ur like “do u ever just have the cutest sweetest (and hottest but hush) boyf in the world to flex on the broke bitches who hate u” and hyunjin is like BABE and ur like :^) 

lowkey sometimes u get jealous of jinyoung bc this boii loves and respects him so much and ur like “What Does He Have That I Do Not” and hyunjin is like “a successful career as an idol” and ur like “define successful” and he GASPS

jokesjokes lol yall playfully argue with each other a lot but if any of u go too far its pretty obvious bc u get quieter and he just. emotionally withdraws and u can see it in his eyes and ur both like OH NO BABE i didnt mean to hurt you im sorry !! and ull have a quick convo with multiple apologies and then ur BACK TO BUSINESS

OMG DUDE HOW YALL MET WAS SO CUTE

so basically he was out with !! the boiis at this cute coffee shop that is never crowded so its safe for them to just relax without having seven masks on lol

and the u !! come in with laramie like :( dude school SUCKS and laramie like nods her head intently like yes indeed

and this boy is struck with LOVE like ur . so cute. and tiny. and cute. and ur venting so passionately about how the education system does Not Meet The Needs of students and hes like. her passion. i love it

and u havent noticed him but oh man the boiis have and they are RUTHLESS bc hes so shy but theyre like GIVE HER UR NUMBER COWARD

and after an overwhelming amount of encouragements and some mild bullying (and laramie going to the bathroom because this dumb bitch spilled a lil bit of tea on her shorts and shes LIVID) and this boy approaches u and ur now love stricken

bc hes so CUTE !!! and its clear hes a lil nervous bc hes blushing uwuwuwuwuwuwu but he said !! he really admires ur passion and he thinks ur really cute and hes sorry if this is creepy but could i get ur number and ur like yes. pls. i love you (jokesjokes u dont profess ur love immediately but DAMN were u close to)

u and hyunjin all blushie and excited and the boiis are LOSING it and laramie comes back like “hey fellas whatd i miss-”

anyways yall are THAT power couple who love each other and are super devoted!! and have an amazing time with each other and DAMN ppl say love is dead but clearly they havent met yall

@daffodwlw read this and weep tears of love, coward

[cow3survivor]

Ep. 2: “I’m Trying To Lay Low” - Jake

JENNET

plan worked fabulously purrrrrrrrr

(a little later)

maybe its me being paranoid but why are jake,jones, and lindsay always the last three to leave calls............ when i have a f2 with all of em....

JESSICA

Song of the day is ELVIS by AOA. My favourite workout bop. Silver got voted out! So sad, I wanted to play with him. But also, kinda cool! This is the only game I have played where I truly didn't know anyone (except my very first ORG). What an experience. I know last confessional I said Sam and Shane were both kinda on the fence for me in terms of if I wanted to maybe work with them or not. An update: I think I want to work with both! Both of them, unprompted, told me they wanted to work with me if we lost immunity, and I have actually been getting along well with both of them I feel now that our conversations are moving past the sort of awkward beginning stages. I still like Sammy even though I probably should talk to him more oops... and Daisy/Lovelis/Ethan are also still in my good books. I kind of keep forgetting Pete and Cloud are on this tribe but when I remember, I am happy they are here. That being said, I think Cloud or Madison will be the first to go if we lose. Cloud is very inactive. Madison is too but she was at least on the call tonight. It might come down to how immunity goes. I want to participate because it will bond us as a team. That way even if we lose, I was a part of the team effort and won't stand out as someone who people don't know or want to work with. Also while I personally want Cloud or Madison out as I know them the least, I am not going to push it. I'll let somebody else throw out a name and as long as that name isn't Jessica then I will consider it. I sort of chilled today with the social game and only messaged people as they messaged me. The vibe of this team is very relaxed from what I can tell and I didn't want to overdo it with conversations and come across as too much. Tomorrow, my goal is to talk to every single person for at least 1 (one) whole real conversation. I might have to start using my good ol' tactic of sending people random youtube links and saying "what do you think of this" to get something going.... Honestly nothing starts a conversation like David Hasselhoff and his cinematic masterpieces that we call music videos. I hope the other tribe is full of problems so that when we eventually swap, I have a very easy time in this game.

LINDSAY

no recording tonight because i have a headache:( anyways i'm apparently not in as good of a position in the tribe as I was hoping. got left out of a six person group chat bc I was associated w Silver and people were nervous abt this vote w me. Jake luckily looped me in but I'm kind of bummed out people didn't trust me enough to let me in on this. I know it's probably just cuz Silver and I had been getting along alright the past two days but that means I'm in kind of a yucky position in the tribe that is starting to gear me up to a S6 type deal from survivor umich and I'm not fuckin' vibin. I'm gonna try to reach out (Nash appears to be ignoring me currently tho so lol) and try to fix that. I still want to work tight w Jones and Jake but I don't want them to be my only options. I need some more connections than that. ALSO WHEN SILVER DID THE THING MY HEART STOPPED LOL SO THAT MIGHT BE WHY IM BEING IGNORED also "you kept laughing at silver's jokes" was a comment someone leveled at me today and i couldn't find a good way to level and say i laugh at everything because that's how my brain is trained to react to everything. monkey brain cannot comprehend emotions so i laugh everything off. anyways i guess this is my clue i've got to step up. i mean, it's fine if i'm under the radar some because it's not merge yet so like it's fine, but i'm... worried. if nothing else we're even tho bc the galaghers got revealed as well as the six person alliance so we're all even here. bottom line is, i'm winning this fucking scavenger hunt this shit aint happening next week

JAKE

https://youtu.be/amXasrOidh0

y'all I'm still shaking from tonight tbh....

PENNINO

https://youtu.be/_26B1wn1pDw

JONES

https://youtu.be/7FngYQfYMB0

PETE

Nobody will want to vote me out if I have kittens and share pictures of them muahahahahahahahahahaha

JESSICA

Oh no, we lost! I hope that Shane and Daisy want to be a final 3 because that is what I am envisioning in my hopes, dreams, and mood board.

SHANE

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mNEOfPVwOp-ltGoNTdEq59su-9Vl_Adm/view?usp=drivesdk

ETHAN

AHH TRIBAL IS SCARY MORE TO COME SOON BUT EVERYONE IS SO QUIET AND I DON'T LIKE IT BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I AM THE TARGET BUT IF I AM I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY IT IS JUST WEIRDLY QUIET AND MY PARANOIA IS EATING ME ALIVEEE

DAISY

https://youtu.be/tBDHsLvF8W8

NICOLE

WE ARE IMMUNE!!! I’m so excited to have flipped the vote on Silver AND got us immunity but, I’m gonna have to be more careful if I’m gonna go far in this game. I know I can be strategic, I can be a comp threat but I really have to work on making myself a little dimmer in the social department. If we swap or merge obviously down the line, I feel like I’m gonna have a LOT of different potential paths to the end but, it won’t matter if they all realize that. So I really really have to be careful here. I am playing this game with a level head so far and really trying to make my rounds daily to talk to people. I am close with Jake, close with Jones and close with Nash. I am working on forming better bonds with Jabari, Lindsay and Jennet right now and honestly to me, Pennino is a non factor as well as Mikey but I am obviously going to try to maintain being on their good side. So that’s all I got for this round it’s been pretty tame except for Jennet immediately leaking our alliance by accident. At this point I really don’t think it matters.

MADISON

Okay so our tribe is not superhuman and we finally lost a challenge so we will be attending tribal tonight. Nobody is really saying much in terms of what will happen which is extremely worrisome, however, I did hear Sam on call very subtly throw Cloud out there and I'm kinda hoping that Jessica and Shane heard that too and will kind of run with it. Daisy wants both of us to be safe and I feel the same way so I'm hoping that's what will happen. In other news!!! I have officially begun the idol hunt one round too late but perhaps that works out better because if something is found, I'll know it. So because of the way things were worded during the hunt, the idol has either been found already or whoever wrote this system wanted to through a red herring in there to trick us. I'm going with the latter because I feel like Jarod would do that. That's all from this neck of the woods for now, hopefully will be writing another one of these bad bois next round :*

SAM

https://youtu.be/liGOEuFKiFo

JENNET

I WILL die for jones btw...

(a little later)

Survived the immunity challenge... at what cost

(after falling asleep on the beach)

The way we accidentally won that comp is literally a joke.... period i guess?

PETE

so we lost cus we’re the beauty tribe not the brains tribe fuck math dude anyways, it’s been hella fuckin quiet like not a lot of people are on and aren’t really talking. Up until about, 4 hours before tribal Sam comes to me and says the vote is gonna be Cloud and i’m like what who why. All he said is “that’s what he’s heard” honestly i think it’s just his own idea but whatever. I don’t know Cloud at all so it’s fine with me. Sam, myself, Jessica, and Shane apparently are all agreed to vote Cloud and with Ethan’s vote that’ll be 5.

CLOUD

i have nithing to say other than i might just be the stupidest person on the planet. absolutley nothing is happening in my head ever. if i stay its pure luck HSKSHSNSKBSKS

NASH

smiles at immunity... this is cute it feels good to not be in danger for once! i’m honestly still worried my tribe might want to cut me at next tribal but at least tonight can be chill! i hope kiki is first brookeisa boot xoxo

SAMMY

honestly there is no tea, daisy found an idol and gambles her vote but she lost her vote early so no worries w that! I love her so much and i hope she doesn’t snake me...but daisy if ur reading this, in this moment i love dont snake me mwah!! I love Jess and I love Cloud but everyone’s telling me Cloud is the vote but I’m so sad because I had such a good time with them and they are one of the few funny ones in the game!! Anyways not much is happening we lost the challenge cause we are just bad at math...blinks...I don’t think I’m in any danger and this vote should be unanimous. I was also told someone said I was one of the few active people so that’s a check in my book!

JAKE

https://youtu.be/HmtSAjyQoJI

I'm trying to lay low so if I'm not very present on Discord the next day or so that's why hehe

PETE

so ethan is down for voting Cloud, sammy too. Cool great awesome hot. i’m just sitting here vibing and suddenly Sammy tells me that my (and Madison’s) name came up for a second. He said it went away and it’s Cloud for the vote but like jskdhd why do i aaalways get targeted bitch i’m literally just sitting here whYY can’t i relax for once?! Frfr every survivor game it’s always this person or me. I’m always the other option and i just don’t get why lmao

LOVELIS

This tribes been kinda dead until like an hour ago plss, a new alliance of 5 has been organised and somehow me and Shane managed to make it seem like it was Jessica’s idea? Don’t really know how that happened in all honesty but a vibe. Then Daisy also leaked that she’s in another alliance who’s actively idol hunting so that was a lovely bit of beef that I love to see - my guess is she’s in a duo chat with Jess and they’ve tried to get this group formed with people who they think are unconnected, unbeknownst to them that me and Shane have a final two deal and I kinda have one with Sammy as well that happened on day one but it’s not really developed as of yet, he’s not really tried to talk game with me as of yet, but all in due time I suppose there’s plenty of time for more shenanigans 😂

MIKEY

HONESTLY Chile. Not much tea going around since this round we won. Im very proud of Nicole as she literally carried us and I pray she'll do it again dhbhsfg. Ive started getting really close with Jones and she's so fun to talk to, im hoping me her and nash can form a little trio and work together but who knows. Jennet STILL hasn't replied back after like a week so idk what's up w them LMAO

JABARI

So our tribe loved it when we blindsided silver, it puts me in a much better position than before. Now I have to talk more to people and take time to realize what's gonna happen. As of right now I have 2 alliances. The big majority one and the one where its just me and Jake and Jennet.

JENNET

exactly.... 

https://open.spotify.com/album/0pWu9s2gPdVgqHpMR2LDEx?si=uOqh6Ar9RiqNLUfaBZEkvw

TRIBAL COUNCIL

[sunnybimbo]

get to know the author

got tagged by mfin @grassepi like 10 days ago to do this!!!!!! /dab/

long ass post under the cut

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

i explain this so often man its a trip. ‘jam’ came from simlish in the sims 3 because of that one voice line that’s like ‘jambabedo?’. i had changed my name to that on skype but when i was VCing with @namerine she could only see ‘jam’ and it kinda just stuck. speaking of: the ‘dingus’ part also came from her so literally this name is all because of her and i love her *fingerguns*

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).

by FAR my most popular fic is my collection of sickfics: In Sickness and Health

the only thing that it got beat in was comments from Close to the Heart, but that’s mostly just because it had so many mfin chapters

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

b a b y y o s h i

i literally cant remember how i found this picture or why i chose it as my icon but its my Brand now. yoshi jamthedingus is me

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i literally have so many. there’s @space-peachx, @bears-again, @narwhalsarefalling, @ravenssama, and @miishiiwrites (for some reason it wasnt letting me tag ur main asldhasd) plus a SHIT ton of anon commentors who i love just as dearly!!! i have a lot more but these are the most common commenters and i love them sm i could literally die.

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

there are like three fics like that and ofc im gonna list them all

hands down the fic i’ve reread the MOST in the shortest period of time is Sunset in Reverse by @demenior (who i cannot tag for some reason but i hope they know that i love their fic dearly)

there’s this i n c r e d i b l e sickfic by @bosstoaster that i just adore called Drown Out Your Mind that just breaks my heart all types of ways

and there’s this OTHER fic that also fucks me up called strength of the small by @nowweareunstoppable in which pidge is bad ass and also gets fucked up and i literally rec it to all my friends i love it so much

(also a special shoutout to been @velkynkarma‘s Whisper in the Dark. whenever i have the need for a good creepin’ out i LOVE to revisit this one because like... just the description of the Final Boss (tm) alone is enough to give me the willies)

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

oof

i have 449 bookmarks from like atleast 10 different fandoms, and about 411 fics i’m subscribed to, give or take a couple because Math. most of them are completed though, but i don’t go through and take them off because i’m a lazy hoe 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

well i just looked up my ao3 and it says i have the most in ‘Alternate Universe - Video Game World’ asjdhsaldhsja aka my mmo au. but technically i think the au i write the most is Modern bc i’m but a simple farmer with a limited mindscape

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

i have 22 user subscriptions vs 199 work subscriptions + 383 bookmarks in total. nice nice nice

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

probably something with a more serious tone (compared to the fluffy wuffy fics i write) like, for example, fatphobia, suicide, and literally just conflict in general. i always feel like im trivializing all of it no matter how hard i try so i just... Give Up because i dont want the backlash ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

i really want to get better at writing conflicts, as stated above lajhdlsadhls. but also i want to be better at planning out stories because i usually give up near the 3/4ths point of literally every multi-chaptered thing i’ve written

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

definitely rarepairs. voltron is like the biggest fandom i’ve ever been in and my biggest ships are all hunk ships, and all of those are rarepairs OTL

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

35!

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

ignoring the fics i’ve completed and posted on ao3, i have about 52. including the above equals 87!!! m a t h

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

i try to write them down but if i write down the thingy i really want to focus on in the fic then i won’t want to write it anymore because it’s out of my head. OTL its a complicated process.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

literally never in my life. 

16. How did you discover AO3?

definitely tumblr. i was in the dragon age fandom and there was this fic called The Little Kadan which had fem!inquisitor/iron bull + a baby so like i was all over that asap. i’m too shy to tag the author but u can find them on tumblr at sickly-writes ,,,,,,

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

nah not at all. i’m pretty Niche

(i.e. if you love shunk and/or heith + cuddling, i’m your gal. but anything else is pretty rare OTL)

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

not in the SLIGHTEST. i call them all babes in my head bc i love them tho

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t know this @fenri personally but i love their writing so much. i admire their style a WHOLE TON and i think i may have sort of modeled my own after theirs? 

like i’m just thinking about it now but it’s definitely after i reread their fic (*ahem ahem* Like Crystal Guts) for about the fifth time that i started my whole ‘prose-y’ writing, which is very very recent aldjhsal

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

be confident in ur writing! if someone says they don’t like it, your work just isnt for them. just because one single person doesn’t like it doesn’t mean its bad!

r e r e a d what you wrote! i use fromtexttospeech.com to catch like... sentence structure/grammatical errors when my eyes are too tired and i find it helps a lot!

if you find a story you like, try figuring out w h y you like it so much. characterization? the way they describe things? because they use sentence structure you haven’t seen before? and then use that new knowledge to try to make your own writing style your favorite *fingerguns* 

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

i only started plotting fics since last november, which was when i participated in my first nanowrimo. i don’t plot for every single story, but if i’m lost or i want to expand a little, i slap down a bunch of ideas in an empty google doc and go from there! 

generally by then i’ve already written atleast a little bit, though.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

i can’t even remember what it says exactly now since i deleted the fic after, but someone said my characterization was bad in a super old inuyasha fic. little like... 12 year old me was so sad ;w; 

i don’t think i’ve ever gotten a bad comment after that, though? which is NICE

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

DEFINITELY any action scene. i can’t make them long or drawn out or else i’ll just be struggling and sweating and generally craving death. i think i just need practice but o o o o f

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

i have a few hot n spicy prompts i need to finish that i probably won’t get to until next year salhdjsa

plus a few christmas presents! 

and also my pirate au, Wander, which only has maybe 2 chapters left before its complete!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

*sweats loudly*

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

not in the slightest. generally, if i’m in a writing sprint or something, i’ll try to get over a 1000 for whatever it is, but that’s for the total and not for the session. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

definitely! even though i’m still shy, im a lot more open to constructive criticism (if it doesn’t come after my soul ;w;). I’m also getting better at being more descriptive, which is something i’ve always wanted! 

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

i have two. don’t make me choose

the first is technically cheating because it’s part of a series, and the series is my favorite BUT I DIGRESS. The Witch and the Mage (which is... one of my less imaginative names) is an MMO AU in which shiro and hunk are in love and also i have a vague plot outlined somewhere in my drive that’s pretty wild if i do say so myself. i may never write it but its there and its my favorite and i love the imagery i used in it.

the SECOND is a heith cuddle fic, because that’s basically my brand as a writer. it’s called home and i wrote it when i was very tired and couldn’t get to sleep. i may have been craving human contact? who knows in this economy. even though i see a number of things i wish i could fix about it, it’s just very self-indulgent in more than one way and its very dear to my heart. 

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

most of the fics i wrote earlier on are pretty bad imo, but i think the ones i hate the most are part of my You Are Beautiful series. it’s grossly out of character (mostly in keith’s case) but it was the first thing i’d written in about four years and i was so proud of it. so it has to stay up for posterity, tbh.

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i really hope to still be writing by then. maybe with my own personal book in its planning stages atleast???  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gotta be optimistic!!

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

dialogue? also describing rooms. i love just... randomly popping out something that describes the placement of a couch in relation to a door. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

i always always always get distracted when i’m trying to write. if i’m in the zone, someone in my family is definitely gonna try to get my attention. it’s sort of become habit for me to just interrupt myself first so that i won’t lose whatever train of thought i had LMAO

33. Why do you write?

i like the way my words sound when i string them together in the right (write... *badum ts*) way. it makes me Feel Good (tm). 

also i love giving characters (that mean something to me) attention, because it’s like i’m giving MYSELF attention. a two-for-one!

Tagging:

@sleepyhunk, @narwhalsarefalling, @space-peachx, @sammythemattressthief, @bears-again, @kurosakiami01, @maternalcube, @ace-pidge, @darlingmuses

+  if anyone i tagged earlier would like to, i would literally be honored if you would do this! but no pressure, ever <3

[pokefanbri]

1st I have to say this b4 I repeat the post from fb. This is a place where I can speak my mind freely without judgement, speak my peace even. Which is exactly what im gonna do so prepare for a read. So think what u want idc, but the last thing I wanna do is tick some1 I know off cause on some level there's a mutual appreciation & respect regardless of my impression. And anyone that reads this isn't obligated to understand my opinion & I dont expect u to. With my brain its my thought process to let information out of my head so I can put things aside, observe & absorb more lol. Writing is another tool or coping mechanism for my anxieties & other psych ailments, treatment for my mental health depends on it & other hobbies in other words, especially during shutdown, something to focus on. Heck even youtube is recommended by my doctor if it keeps me happy lol. But because ill be working again, I may not have time to do alot of things I like sadly..idk i just wouldnt want to be burnt out & focus on more important things. I have a high respect for anyone working around people during this time & it must worrisome for u too, means I have to keep on my toes as well soon..its a scary world out there for an introvert but I was killin it in NY too. It was just a slow steady process with all the limitations & moving my life up there wasn't easy to begin with but I pulled through & did it all...only for it to be taken away.

So, I'm an Irish, German, Canadian,British Mut from tucson. Maternal & paternal immidiate families lineage mixed made me, including my NY blood from my bio dad. The rest is all over Europe but u get the idea. Tucson may be where i was born & my 1st home without a father & raised not knowing (were mardi gras babies btw 😒)

But NY is & will forever be my 2nd home i dont care what any1 says, I felt I belonged there. Its the other half of me quite literally.Theres a memory that's really been bugging me. Last day b4 i left it, a bald eagle flew across my path in the sky no joke going NE & I was departing back to the SW. I chose the eagle years ago cause I identify with it. including the background symbolism in different phases of my life that included them lol, but to actually see one was just amazing.

They symbolize strength+freedom in general despite it standing for the country from sea to shining sea lol. Also Braviary was always in my pokemon team besides pikachu since its gen came out lol. I've always been strong, whether some believe it to be true or not is their problem, only I know the things I've gone through. Point is different ends of the spectrum its always been with me throughout in some way & im glad i got to share it with someone that gave me the freedom I needed.

But yea I experienced what its like to be there & got to know that part of me even if I didn't find him & maybe didnt care...I feel I was meant to be there. I was in touch with my roots, lower Temps & above sea level rather than high temps & below sea level 🤣 I loved everything about my time up there. It'll always be a part of me, & I hope to see it again. But I digress.

But in regards to the relationship itself, emphasizing on what i said b4. Just as it i got "settled" in it was gone & I had no clue what was happening without my knowledge, the whole plan to bring me back, all of it, the whole chain of events that unfolded the way it did starting with leaving a marriage in the 1st place to be with him i mean come on lol. Chasing a dream that didn't play out the way we had hoped. I took leap of faith & I ended up starting over twice in 1 year with no benefit of the doubt. I still have my ny health insurance for the rest of the yr, I have to add it to my list to apply again in az. Ive been wearing the wrong prescription glasses for 6 months under quarantine & they're just now getting to stage 4 of opening lol. Just understand how frustrating that actually is for someone like me & u totally get it 😅 U want to take care of business but sometimes you're limited & gotta work around it. had all that covered there & then was told I settled, wrong thing to say & its no wonder I didn't blow up in his face right there & then 😒. But I have retraint & can control myself. Though it was out of my hands the new relationship didn't have to go sour, been just as long if not more, could've actually thrived given the proper balance with room to grow. Idk, Sometimes I honestly don't think anyone believed in me. I mean I have no debt, no record, no kids, im a clean slate type of girl lol. Yes I did end up feeling unappreciated, underestimated, a bit neglected, insecure about my body, ashamed for being myself, & I shouldn't have to feel that way at all & if that happens there obviously something off. I just didnt know what it is he wanted & needed, i wanted to help & be a good partner to this dude but why is it bad to ask the same in return? I shouldn't have to drastically change myself to fit someones standard i know, but...i needed the old him back, I missed the old us & wanted to get back to that.. Was always so closed off & probably ended up in his own head who knows, maybe there was guilt for some of the things he did & didnt want to hurt me anymore, spare my feelings any more than it did b4 it was too late.idk whatever the excuse i still don't know what triggered it all to fail so easily & i don't think i ever will. But ending up with the conclusion that I was the problem, its narcissistic to even believe that & i won't accept it. Not when he can't confront his own issuse & put blame onto himself too.. it was a low blow & literally felt like my heart was pierced at the sound of it. If im to blame its the other way around as well. My point of view wasn't acknowledged so this is my take & experiences of happened so plz dont hate me for speaking my truth.

But yea I can tell when somethings not right & feel strong empathy for others emotions. I knew something was different, there were signs everywhere since the mistrust started & during the last half of that time with him I questioned everything but sat in my own headspace as well as he did just thinking about it. If anything we failed eachother, the blame is on us both but idk what else i could've done to get through to him. That's the stubbornness, he wouldn't budge. Despite how things went down..Leaves me to think, what was the point of having me there in the 1st place, to not follow through with our shared hopes & dreams but instead spiral into such resentment for me that the interest faded. But at the at the same time...even if it ended early for him, I didn't give up & I fought to keep us okay which it was for the most part. Hindsight is 20/20, it definitely wasn't negative all the time. In fact things were great between us & acted like goofballs together, that right there is a friend despite if the stronger feelings weren't mutual. Nobody with hate in their heart acts like that, he was good, the best, cheered me up when I was down, shared interests & did things for eachother. But that alone makes me question what was truth & what was fiction sometimes ever since the trust between us started to fade. Am I in the right to feel what im feeling right now? Im angry & upset yes very, but the kindness he had throughout..he did care in his own way...which makes things so much harder.

Tripadoodle if some way you're listening, I hope u know now where im coming from. For your own benefit & quest to be a better man like you always wanted...actually try. Head my advice. Making yourself better shouldn't be put on a womans shoulders to do for u without her getting lifted in return...its alot of weight to handle for 1 person to carry lol. Get off your ass & build on yourself, learn from everything that happened & become better for yourself & the sake of others, Because it starts with u. Go to church if possible or watch them, it really does help. Even from across the country I still want u to do just as good & help u as a friend. You promised we could remain friends & im holding my end of the bargain whether u like it or not lol it was your idea during the ride here. All I wanted in the end was to not lose u in my life completely...but i should be patient i know.. Theres more space, im not contacting u directly & respecting that, eventually ill stfu lol but I feel I need this rn. I should hate u,but I cant hate u, I do still care, u had that affect on me so much that I can't really listen to others when they say ur a douchbag lol, u were still my rock the whole time even if u didn't feel the same after a while & u did help me alot as well. I see the good in people & u are good, with well balanced snarkiness & humorous sass to boot. light a fire under ur own ass & ull be okay lol. Never stopped believing in u. Ive seen what you can do, you're very smart & know your sh*t, u will go far lol. And as a friend I'd lend u my strength if I could but the most I can do is pray for things like safety/protection, healing, forgiveness, guidance, etc. Leave it to God if u feel compelled to. Give zanabell a hug for me.

God i talk way too much 😅 No im not doing any of this for attention, I want my voice to be heard as well as a possible learning experience if it had that effect on anyone. The things we learn build character & help us understand a little more about ourselves. Probably shouldn't share cuz its nobody's business, yea ive thought of that too.. But its a blog lol, Tumblr allowed it to be that space, opinions and rants are allowed & encouraged. Nothing wrong with that 🤷‍♀️ so who gives a crap.

These are pictures of the NY sunrise & AZ sunset. Clouds always get me cuz of the shapes, used to to take pics of them all the time. once saw mario holding a hammer when I was a kid 😂 3rd & 4th pic is a split rainbow, never seen that b4...either someone found the gold or its deciding whether or not to connect. Probably was connected but I missed it lol. But then I looked behind me after the split 1 disappeared & a double rainbow was forming. Nature can be scary but also beautiful

[vernicle]

careers Questions & Answers

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hold a unpaid hand who solely operates a person or two weekends a month, and I love a issue upcoming to her.? She has been operating beside me for about a calendar year and a half. I am close friends beside her. The issue is she has questioned me to about three various outings: her bridal shower, her marriage, and, most just lately, a jewelry social gathering. Now, everytime she's operating near somebody but me, she likes to convey to the tale in the purchase of how I reported I was not capable to appear to her jewelry celebration, nonetheless her close friend saw me at Wal-Mart. She experienced advised me a person-sidedly her close friend saw me at Wal-Mart, but I did not join that actuality to the actuality that it be on the working day of her social gathering. Now she convey to the other individuals she referred to as me out on it. To my face, she convey to me it truly is ok, she understands, and so on...Now she's a very good Christian female, but I do not understand why she's performing this speaking. Not just is it a do the job difficulty, it truly is also a personalized difficulty among us. She have done the identical with other individuals who do the job right here and have not long gone to her outings, but if you try to articulate a little something to her, she acts like every thing is high-quality. So what do I do? Phone her from do the job? Phone her even though we're not at do the job? She might give up if I say aloud anything to her, but I'm weary of this. How do I deal with it ideal? I'm going outrageous if I hold to hear her speaking about me a various time.

I am sixteen and geared up for a trade? I am a girl sixteen and stay in a town wherever you can see the border of mexico. I hold been participating in guitar for a few years and sense I possess what it normally takes to go out in attendance and make my occupation as an artist seem. Am I trapped in lil girl fantasies or need to I get emancipated and run for it.

I necessitate your inference extremely weakly! ? I require your view vastly badly! I want to sign up for ciao but this item actually bothers me: http://ift.tt/2rXx7rq Any solutions make sure you? Thank you.

I obligation a situation but I with the sole goal hold my Diploma In high-rating University? I am a male who is on the lookout for a task, i am with the sole goal eighteen years who just graduated, I looked for several hours for task out there but i require some enable, does any a person know what task are out there in Dearborn MI, for a high University track record stage, if you do make sure you send out me the speak to

im on the lookout for a obligation at davids bridal, any guidelines from bygone staff ? i actually want to do the job at davids bridal or some variety of bridal store i listened to that its actually obedient to get in right here ,for the reason that you get paid out by the sail you make . a person of my close friends utilised to do the job there and she made deeply of funds even the to start with couple months she was operating. i consider your meant to be eighteen to do the job in attendance while even if you have a operating allow? capably if any one is aware of anything about operating in that and what the employment like stuff me in (:

Occupation Application Question Enable!? okay i'm performing an software and this issue is quite difficult two me! You Say Whatver Is On Your Intellect? Strongly disagree Disagree Concur Strongly agree What need to i put? if i affect sure, it might probably appear improper but what about if i say No? somoene beside knowledge out there enable me make sure you.

Journalist/Editor/Freelance Writers ? What is the change in them? Which a person is greater to grow to be? (Not pay prudent, just in prevalent... Your view) Thank you

Require Job ease? In what variety of key, my firm that i will do the job for, will transport me abroad to do various variety of initiatives...also make sure you convey to me what chief i would have to analyze to do a organization of making or just have my employees to make residences/purchasing purchasing arcade and provide them

on the web charge oppurtunities? I want to do the job from my house ,but my close friends advised me that the on the web task possibilities are faux . Is there any site which pays you for ur do the job with out finding any one rupee as financial commitment?

What is a straightforward Job roadway ? nicely im in my 20's i possess two kids and i am a one mum or dad i acquire no support. i require to know what is a very good paying task/occupation that i can carry out in a relativly shorter volume of time university is hopefully an route but i have an infant so i do not know how before long i was contemplating of beginning pre-req's for the LVN method but i'm fearful to turn by way of the total detail and not elapse the condition exam i can't actually pay for to squander my time any concepts on totally clad occupation paths

why WWW.earn45k.com does not supply a out there task ? i experienced acquired an sms about that site. that they established aside section time task near income of forty five,000/month is it true

$$$ or enthusiasm? which subject? I am owning a really hard time decide on what occupation to go into (I am seventeen). I want to be an English Instructor, (I look at it would be pleasurable) but they dont have significantly funds. i want to be capable to pay for a nice sports activities automobile, condominium and and so on. i realized that lawyers draw from paid out a total lot! but i dont infer i would love the topic, in general. i adore to speak, argue...but i cant picture myself surrounded by a courtroom. i am bewildered. enable me out.

"Not Suitable for Rehire" if you give up on...ahem..not so terrific language? If you give up a task for very good use but on poor terms, on a situation software years afterwards, when they inquire "Are you out there for rehire", what would be the solution?

"why do you want to do the job right here" metropark software interrogate support? i'm making use of for a seasonal task at metropark the clothes store and it asks that on the software. its a tiny room to write so i want to make certain my solution is hasty and snappy you know? i'm not certain what to write in these types of a modest room so if any one could give me counsel on what to write that would be actually terrific!

(In an on the web opportunity software) what is "intermediary situation"? Its in the area wherever on earth you have to give a intermediary or reference to somebody like a trainer, but what is referee situation - what do I have to write near?

**Graphic, but make sure you read through. I entail suggestion, Sexual Harassment at do the job.? There are a lot of places that my firm operates in. Effectively, when I be relatively new right here, they employed a person and he be variety of a fill within just at no matter what location we desired him to go to for the sunshine. Effectively it didnt get extensive for him to get my mobile phone selection from the unexpected emergency ring sheet. So he referred to as a person night time and reported to get alongside one another 4 beverages, I advised him no bc I dont know you. I didnt see him at my location 4 a couple times, and then one working day he appear in my place of work and shut/locked the doorway and put his arms on respectively a person of the chair arm rests that I was sitting down contained by, and advised me I need to want to go out with him, and I reported no bc I dont belief u and he reported...u dont belief me? or u dont belief by yourself? So thats when it actually started out finding wierd, but i blew it poor. Subsequent, I was walking down the corridor and he handed me, and seize my butt, I advised him dont contact me once again. Then, I was on my way to do the job and he recently occurred to be driving upcoming to me, and he be telling me to pull in excess of so he could kiss me and contact me. This is when I started out debating on whether or not or not to relate my manager, which is his manager far too. The remaining straw was when I was house a person darkness and he referred to as my mobile phone as personal and when I answered he reported he was within just the shower and if I could appear "enable" him. So I hung up, and referred to as the mobile phone firm to modify my selection...even though I be performing that, he was calling me again, departure me messages telling me to solution bc he desired to hear my voice in proclaim to "complete." And despatched me a picture concept of the "proof". Effectively I saved the messages and made the decision to depth my manager asap. Effectively I just occurred to start my depart the working day that it occurred so I arranged to wait around a pair of times right until I could go and sit down beside him. By the time was again from vac., a person of the empire advised me...that person bought arrested for violating probabtion and have to do time for a calendar year right before hell get out. Lastly, i didnt love to fret about it, i in no way advised any one to free the embarrassment and drama. Effectively its been a calendar year and i mainly found out that they rehired him! I talked to my manager and advised him every thing and he reported, u need to have advised me early...I already employed him. So I advised the HR person, and he reported okay I will cope with it, he wont do the job at your location. Effectively the identical several hours of daylight he advised me that, he showed up! He walked in my bureau like nithing ever occurred and reported your however right here...? Arent you operating a second or two late? Which I while was an irregular greeting soon after not viewing every other for a total calendar year. Effectively I not right here instantly. I referred to as the HR person, and I reported what happen?! And he reported he was overwritten by the functions person and that he be going to do the job there. He also reported that he cant actually do significantly about allegations a calendar year back considering that I in no way advised any one to originate with and he also has to secure his rights to love a secure task. He reported considering that hes already employed theyre going to give him a different randomness and THEN if he does a little something theyll hearth him. Is what he is expressing correct? I even advised HR that he doesnt have to hearth him, but I why they cant distribute somebody else in excess of right here in its place and retain him away from me. Is that it? Now I just sit and linger for him to "do" a little something...and hope its not far too traumatizing? I know it was a calendar year back and I in no way advised any one but this however doesnt look proper. Is it? Oh! and the HR person reported, moreover hes on parole and he cant pay for a 3rd strike...so im fairly certain he wont do anything! Also, I dont even know what he be arrested for.

**How do you write a Resume?**? How do you make a resume? I require a person for a errand I actually want.

*ten Factors* what are some principle for occupation straight from soaring schoo... ? ok so i just graduated from h.s this calendar year and im viewing how the cutback is performing.. poor with task and all that so.. i want to have a craft in which my task can be secure.. i be organizing on going as a health care assistant but alot of ppl are telling me that they dont pay moral and that its just a squander of time attending higher education for that. But i want to do a little something with my life. is in that any occupations in which you dont hold to go to university for a extensive time or anything? plz enable me.. thankfulness in progress! .Careers?.inevitability give a hand?!? Will any store retain the services of somebody for a task underneath the age of fifteen? I do not aid for what wage, I'm just asking yourself if any one would retain the services of.?

:]] any task at sixteen? Im sixteen and like 4 months and im unwell n weary of operating at taco bell and was contemplating of a different assignment, like the shopping mall so i didnt obligation an unattractive uniform. The shopping mall by me have generic merchants like V.S, charottle rousse, wetseal, Gap, Endlessly 21, pacsun, and no matter what else. Whats a totally clad spot to do the job at? or everywhere else with no food stuff at all haha :] ty.

?CLUELESS?Enable i dont kno what my occupation need to be!How to resolve?any Tips!?!?if u possess a Job that? u like or are in or examined plzz notify me extra or less it any concepts will enable or internet websites, i be contemplating about becoming an Architect or Felony Justice or Tourism or Anthropologist or anything that will aid folks HOW do i decide, can u plzzz let anyone know me some details on Architect or Felony Justice or Tourism or Anthropologist for the reason that i dont kno like the income? how tons higher education years total? what your going to be performing in the discipline? IF u are operating surrounded by people discipline or HAVE A Job that u Genuinely like plzz share it beside me, and convey to me all nearly it thanxxx [Job in] picture, or psychology? I'm down to people two alternatives, for now at minimum. For a even though I've looked-for to go into psychology, for the reason that I just adore to lend a hand, and I comprehend a lot of people's issues, even while I barely know the "official" motives and every thing. In other words, I variety of purely relate to what is on people's minds, and comprehend personally how they have a sensation and what to do about it (what to convey to by yourself). So it truly is a little bit extra of a philosophy than anything, but however. I adore the notion of becoming capable to aid folks, primarily kids, who appear in for anything at adjectives. Not too long ago, having said that, I started out to get into film. I'm within just a form of film course in my establishment, and started out utilizing my more mature brother's courses that he left down when he enlisted to the military just lately, when I fell on Adobe Right after Effects 6.five. An elder version, and I have not the slightest plan how to use it, which sucks considering that adjectives of the tutorials out there nowadays are for the more recent versions which price tag around $one,000 bucks, which is WAY beyong my price range. Than there are other factors to support me boost, which also price tag a considerably high volume of funds. So the vital issue is that if I decide to enter a occupation surrounded by film now, than funds probably shouldn't be anything to prevent me. But I wouldn't possess wished to squander adjectives that funds for a couple university initiatives this calendar year if I'm in no way going to use it once again. In that situation, I would want to pursue a task in psychology. Anyhow, I would appreciate any feedback from you guys to perhaps aid me make a conclusion, so that I can see extra really into equally alternatives, considering that, like I reported, I barely know anything just about both discipline.

--|-- Occupation warning. --|-- All support appreciated, maybe Psychology/Criminology and/or Law enforcement guidelines make sure you? I would like to go and do a scope in Psychology prehaps with criminology or politics mixed, and afterwards sign up for the police. I wondered if any one experienced any organizing or activities in any of this, as I'm a little bit bewildered how to get right here. I have also been advised I am 'wasting' my intelligence. I am intelligent (not to nouns boastful right here.) and I wondered if subsequent this occupation path will bore me? I desperately do not want to commit my purely natural life to learning, and I want to do a little something that will test me, be benificial to society, and will entail operating with populace, as I am quite significantly a folks social gathering. If any one has any concepts or proposal it would be significantly appreciated.

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