#if u read till the end: you’re a fucking trooper thanks
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ok screw it, here’s the deconstruction of The (Shipped) Gold Standard and how it relates to brynjes (hypothetically)
Sometimes I wanna quit this all and become an accountant now,
But I’m no good at math and besides, the dollar is down
i envision this as kind of either of their thoughts, restlessness in their life and wishing for something simpler that lets them live quietly with those they love, but also feeling like what they do is what they’re good at and not wanting to give up the life they’ve built
Plant palm trees on Lake Michigan before it gets cold
genius annotates this line as:
“The imagery of planting a tropical plant in a freezing environment allows for two interpretations: First, that planting can make a place feel happier and warmer before that would be possible, before the cold sets in.
The second interpretation, less optimistic than the first, is that the planting can make a place feel happier and warmer despite knowing the plant will soon die in the cold. The phrase “before it gets cold” hints that the narrator is aware of the freezing conditions, yet still wishes to plant the palm trees. This second interpretation can be seen as a metaphor. The palm trees are representative of bettering yourself, and the “cold” representing a state where it’s futile to even try.”
the way i associate this interpretation is particularly bryn feeling that the world is cold, unfriendly, unfit to harbor life. they want to bring warmth in - particularly a person who they feel is warm (je.sper) - but they feel that the world will freeze back over again, and destroy the warmth. they worry that the world will destroy their spirit and the spirit of the person they’re referring to here.
I gotta feel the wind chill again before I get old
bryn currently lives in a place very unfamiliar to them, in the countryside of ker.ch. they feel a lot of heartache surrounding their old town, missing not just where they were raised but also the nostalgia of childhood, romanticizing things that might not be enjoyable in the moment but they don’t experience anymore and look back on maybe more fondly than they should - metaphorically, a cold wind chill.
I want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me
this in general is just a very bryn line to me. first of all i can see this referring to people from their past, the people they knew and left behind in ke.tter.dam for example, but also in general this reflects their fear of revealing too much, of being perceived by others.
You can only blame your problems on the world for so long
Before it all becomes the same old song
this is honestly just as much bryn’s feelings towards others - again, the people they left in ketter.dam - as it is a wake up call for bryn themself. as much as they realize that other people have blamed their problems and avoid the responsibility of their actions, they also refuse to confront their past - before they can enter a relationship with anyone again, they need to recognize their own fears and the way they’ve limited themself because of them. they have to grow from this before they can be ready for that relationship
As soon as we hit the hospital, I know we're gonna leave this town
And get new passports and get, get, get, get, get out now
the countryside, the town, the city - no matter where they go or how much they miss a place, each of these places is inherently tied in to trauma for bryn. no matter where they go they find something they want to avoid, to run away from - they just want to get as far away from all of that as possible, get out of ker.ch. the road theyre going down - all of them, the crows - leads ro danger, leads to hospitals. bryn is terrified of jesp.er being caught in a crossfire, and as much as he’s avoided being hurt so far they know that might not last. if he ends up harmed, landing in a hospital, they know that’s the end of the road for them - they’re leaving that life, and this country, behind forever.
The time my dad caught me a horseshoe crab
And I asked him if throwing it back into the sea would bring our luck back
another sort of nostalgic line, both of them reflecting on the ease of life when they were younger and the childish understanding of luck and life. they wish there was as easy of a way to turn things around as they used to believe there was - a horseshoe crab.
Tell that boy I'll leave you alone now
Like a stove, I'll turn my love down
bryn wishes they could erase their feelings. it could also serve as a reference to their potential abilities as an inferni, turning their feelings down as easily as they could turn down a flame, but generally just refers to a wish they could walk away from their emotions. i imagine “that boy” refers to kaz here, and his suspicions of them - they’re asking jes.per to tell kaz that they’ll leave them alone, that they aren’t going to be a threat encroaching anymore.
Supra and the prophet are both
In the business of souls, ee-ooh
apparently since supra is latin for “above”, a potential interpretation of this line is that the person mentioned above (“that boy”) is alongside the prophet in their business. i don’t think it’s likely in the actual song meaning, but for this it does apply - the prophet here being either bryn or a.lin.a. in that sense, they’re saying kaz and the prophet are in the business of souls - accurate enough for a crow. in that way, bryn is in the business of souls, since joining the crows, to protect them.
#paper_heart.txt#c: i’d miss me too#s/i: bryn eriksdottir#long. this is long. i spent multiple hours on this.#if u read till the end: you’re a fucking trooper thanks#if you read not till the end but you still read some of it: you’re still a fucking trooper#s: a cat amongst crows
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About that Fox post: i absolutely love you for writing it, thank you for that
Also, for your consideration:
- Where were you during the zillo beast attack?
- throwing a surprise birthday party for him?
- going shopping together
- I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?
- what's the friendship with his brothers like?
- why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something
- on that note, does he get the dad genes from Jango?
- post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to
- Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)
many Fox thoughts today, many thoughts
sorry this is so long, I have little self control and a lots of love for fox. i love u so much for asking this and letting me explore what a life with fox would be like.
also I apologize for being a h*rny bitch and not controling myself, so nsfw thots are marked like this so if u wanna skip that's fine.
and uh, first I'm gonna answer the investigative journalist hc and base everything about this in that solely thought because that's a galaxy brain thing to say.
I have a scenario that him dating an investigative journalist would be very chaotic, any thoughts?
AHDJSJ I LOVE THIS. okay okay but I feel like because of this job this is exactly why you guys met, like you needed some info and you asked some shiny but he didn't know a thing and you were like "is there someone I can talk with about this?" and when he's about to reply, Fox enters in action and he's like "need anything?" but sO COCKY.
he hates journalists mostly because some of them treat the clones very badly and never talk about the casualties or that kind of stuff about war, right.
like, it would turn into this-- banter filled with sexual tension that would've ended up in a make out session if 1. fox didn't have that much of self control and two if he weren't wearing his bucket.
it'd be like
"listen man-"
"it's commander for you." a pause, "or sir."
or like
"i need to do other things if you don't mind."
"i can think of a few you could be doing right now." and the way your eyes run through his entire body, even if he's all covered in plastoid but damn you if he isn't the hottest man walking, and he actually shivers, and gulps, because it's not like he wasn't thinking about that either, pushing down your pants and railing you right then and there in that fucking filthy alley. he is well aware how his suddenly codpiece feels too tight, but you only smirk and go, "you know, like giving me the information I need?"
KDJSJ IMAGINE THE POWER. THE POSSIBILITIES.
it'd be so ridiculous, but you also caused this impression on him that when you turned away to go on your business he was dEVASTED, but he didn't want to let u know he actually liked you. He's stubborn, that man.
So by some miracle when you're investigating something, you guys run into each other bc he's on patrol or something and he's GIDDY. but also frozen in place bc he didn't think he would ever see you again, mostly because Coruscant is big and has too many people in it. and you're like
"ah, commander fox, isn't it?" and he quickly resumes to say something that shows how aNNOYED he pretends to be, but he ends up tagging alone because "these parts are not safe"
"oh?"
"you'd need protection."
and the smirk you have is sO ARROGANT because it's not your first rodeo.
"you wouldn't want to have a civvie getting killed or something on your watch now, would you?" and he clears his throat and nods sharply. and you give him this innocent eyes and bat your lashes, "my hero."
and if you think those words didn't do aNYTHING to him, you're mistaken u hear me, he's instantly hARD.
so anyways after that YOU ask him out, and he's like, stuttering and saying yes and all.
now some random thoughts on this magnificent hc.
• if it can't be himself, he would always have the men he trusts the most going on patrols around the zone you're around in case something happens.
• he lOVES when you rant about something new you discovered, and when he asks for mOre info bc he's a, how do you say chismoso?, he loves gossip??? anyways and you're like "nu huh, you gotta wait till tomorrow, foxie"
• he aLWAYS makes sure to read/see your job, either if you work for some newspaper, magazine, etc or if you're on the TV he nEVER misses it.
• if you work for the TV, his brothers are always like "fOX YOUR GIRL IS ON THE HOLONET LIKE RN!!!" and he gives them this bitch face because he kNOWS THANK YOU.
• alright but imagine going on dates with him and being like "did you know there was an investigation last year around this part that–?" ROMANCE AT ITS PEAK.
• if his shift ends before you even think of going home, he definitely joins you on your investigations.
Where were you during the zillo beast attack?
uhh, I think you'd be home, like maybe you turned in early and fox maybe didn't know, so he was almost in tears when he called you after the whole thing happened because he was so worried.
of course, during the attack, he tried to push the thought aside, bc I think all clones have this, uh, switch, that makes them not worry during missions that much? just like, have this thought here and there but nothing serious that would make them paralyzed and have a panic attack right there. but every second he thought of you and hoped you were alright.
unlike you, that were worried sick because you saw the chaos unfold, the troopers arriving in shuttles and the jedi doing whatever they were doing and you just heard destruction. you DID cried a bit and when fox called you, you cried even harder. and he was like "it's alright, I'm alright baby."
that night he hold you SO tight, whispering sweet nothings on your ear and never stopped kissing you once. you barely got any sleep because you were so afraid of waking up only to find out the other died on the attack and it was all a dream.
throwing a surprise birthday party for him?
AAAAAH THIS IS SO CUTE.
now, clones don't exactly have a birthday???? but he did all these nice things for your birthday (he and the boys baked you a cake that was sO UGLY and tasted a bit weird) so you thought you could surprise him too.
it's most likely he gives you the date when he graduated from Kamino or something and for all the years you're with him, you never miss his "birthday" at first you did something quiet, like a dinner at your place, bought him something nice, gave him a bath or something and spoiled the shit out of him.
so for the second year, you threw him a party in his office, made him this cake or whatever and decorated with red and white balloons and invited a few troopers that wanted to help you and he was stoic for a moment, but then you were like "hAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and hugged him so tight and he relaxed under your touch and whispered this small "thank you baby"
everyone congratulated him and he was a bit awkward but when they start telling all these stories of them and fox on the job, he starts to loosen up a bit, so while everyone is eating cake he hugs you from behind and chuckling lowly in your ear as he listens to his brothers.
he dOESNT like pda like I said but he forgets for a moment because he just loves you sO SO SO SO MUCH. it's also easier for him to whisper filthy things into your ear and mumble how good you are for him, that he doesn't deserve you, that he can't wait for everyone to leave cause he wants to have his present (you) nipping your earlobe and making u all hot and bothered and would def fuck you nice and hard on his desk. yup
going shopping together
imagine, jUST IMAGINE, he'd look like your personal bodyguard 😭😭 like, he'd be behind you carrying most of your bags and people would look at you wondering who are you, why are you sO important to have the commander of the Coruscant guard with you???
but like, you don't care and fox doesn't even notice, and he'd be so attentive, faking to be both annoyed and uninterested but he'd see this nice shirt or dress or whatever and grumble something like "you'd look good on this" i just-
and like when you pass by the lingerie store, dUDE, he'd make you model for him, him sitting like he fucking owns the place, getting harder and harder every time he sees you in a new pair of underwear and when you show off this cute little red set. damn.
if you go to the market or something, he'd always love to show you these things like "look at that" or just pull you towards this stall and you'd adORE to show him stuff like, "ohh, fox here try this" or "what you think about this?" and stuff like that.
what's the friendship with his brothers like?
i think it'd be very easy-going and light, they would tease you sometimes, but they really like you, mostly because they see fox isn't as stressed as before and they see how happy he is when around you.
they think he deserve it, to have somewhere where he's free and loved, so yeah.
they sometimes ask him about you and never miss a chance to say hi when you stop by the office.
the boys absolutely ADORE you.
why do i fell he would be good with kids? Like your nephew or something. does he get the dad genes from Jango?
HE WOULD AND HE DOES.
like, I think at first he'd be very hesitant when it comes to children, like he'd be nervous when you introduce him to your niece and when you ask him if he wants to hold her, he says a quick no and just prefers to watch you, heart feeling funny when you make faces at the little baby in your arms.
at some point he dOES hold her, with such care and a gentleness that makes your heart flutter, and he coos softly as she sleeps soundly in his arms, rocking her with a delicacy you thought impossible from such hard man, and when he looks at you his eyes shine with this flash of something you can quite place but makes your heart skip a beat and think of how much you'd love to have this, with him, a little family, a baby that has his curls and maybe your eyes, a mix of your skin color with his and maybe his stubbornness completed by your charisma. a perfect little thing for you two to hold and care and love.
he'd be such a good dad, but then again every clone would be the most fantastic dad bc it's literally in their genes.
if you have a nephew that is, u know, older but still a kiddie, like 5 or 6, the lil boy would be aMAZED by fox, he'd love him so much, like imagine, always asking for the commander, wanting to play with him, asking fox to carry him eVERYWHERE, and at first fox would be like, shy and uncertain and he wouldn't know how to act until he accepts the fact that this little boy really likes him and looks up to him and fox becomes The Cool Uncle™
post-war AU? in the timeline where Palpatine chokes and dies like he's supposed to and Getting!! Married!! (eventualy)
well, in my post-war AU, clones get Rights™ and get paid and have vacations and stuff, sO, maybe you get to have Fox for a little more time and his schedule isn't as bad as it was during the war, so maybe after the war you get home to a nice dinner and fox using this silly apron and sometimes you come home early just so you can cook with him.
maybe you go on holidays to these nice places, going to the beach or the woods and finally settling somewhere quiet, start a family in this nice house or if you don't want kids then it's just the two of you and maybe a few pets.
i think the wedding would be officiated in Coruscant, of course, so his brothers and your fam can go, he'd definitely cry when he see you walking down the isle or when you put the ring on his finger and he'd be so so so happy, dancing with you all night, being so clingy because he's just Over the moon, y'know, kissing your cheeks and neck, whispering how lucky he is and how much he loves you, and how good you look, never leaving your side and always leaning over with pouty lips for you to kiss him.
when he proposed it was during one of your sweet, soft times with him, maybe in the aftertaste of your sexy times, as he holds you close to his chest, fingers running up and down your skin, as he stares at the ceiling and the question comes out as if he were talking about the weather, his heartbeat is slow and steady and it's one of those times he feels confident and sure.
you have talked about a future together, so he knows you'd say yes.
it's more a statement than a question, really.
"marry me." he would say, so quietly, almost a whisper. and when you look up you only find this beautiful emotion filling his eyes.
"what?" you just want to make sure you heard right, he'd smile softly, cup your cheek and as his thumb caresses your skin he'd whisper.
"will you marry me?"
you oBVIOUSLY say yes while ugly sobbing.
#ANYWAYS#i love fox#i love him your honor#I LOVE HIM#commander fox x reader#commander fox#headcanons#ted talks with ari
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