#if u have thiughts also.id LOVE to hear them

[linkedin-corp]

everyone im rlly close too that doesnt dabble in ttyd does not rlly follow this acc so im rambling here

for some reason i feel like maybe there was a time when vivian had a different name that was given to her, one she didint like . or i think that could be a thing

and the thought of her constant uphill battle of confusion and then wanting to try something different. asking for this change and it being a huge problem. that internalized self hate stuff blossoming

and when she finally gets past that goalpost of wanting the name "vivian" granted, she feels relief and feels like maybe shes doing something right. but of course theres the whole. 1 step forward 2 steps back thing thats happening. so while she mightve gone forward theres always pushback from beldam and her own self doubt

and the past just manifests in her guilt about if shes right. even though its so clear and through , and the end of the tunnel is so close, theres doubt that lingers, even if she cant remember it to the fullest extent of what it used to be

(and yes im going insane bcus of this song. im going crazy.its literally her)

this can also apply to the chimera au .. people who dont care about that stop reading here im getting autism about it

the whole. becoming something you arent to do the bidding of another , but this time its worse and youve lost yourself.sure she had control of herself before but the only thing keeping her loyal to her sisters was the guilt and familial aspect. all it took was mario being kind to her and understanding to break free from that

but as a chimera shes entirely out of control, being a puppet for something far worse than beldam could ever be. she isnt vivian anymore, but meerly a shadow puppet for the queen. now, she has no choice

sure, maybe she retains some personality .. but now she belongs to the enemy. becoming something she isnt against her will after discovering something about herself so crucial just makes me fall to my knees honestly. the irony of it all