#if u ever read something i post and go “wtf does that mean” it's because i don't understand or remember saying at all

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[causenessus]

guys I am once again waiting to go home BC EVERYONE DECIDED TO POST WHILE I WAS AT WORK /POS I PROMISE AS SOON AS I GET HOME I AM READING EVERYTHING THIS IS WHAT I WILL LOOK LIKE IN REAL TIME

[weeping-statue]

ask, and ye shall receive 🙇🙇🙇

if u take multiple characters, may i request naib, ithaqua, and alva with an s/o whos a kleptomaniac? if u dont do multiple chars, maybe just alva if thats ok!

much loves 💞💞💞

please read🔻

This.. has been rotting in my inbox since the start and I am so sorry. Usually I’m trying to find motivation for all of these writings but things came up yesterday and I just needed to write something to make me feel better. So this was more self indulgent. I would love to write for Alva but I fear I don’t have a good concept of him yet. Also Kinktober stuff will be posted in the near future. There will be a part two of this with Ithaqua, I think? not proofread and not great-

Naib with a kleptomaniac s/o! —————————————————————-

He’s got a massive safe, with all of his stuff in it and you don’t have the code.

No I’m kidding,

Well, sorta.

He keeps his room clean anyways so there’s nothing to really take other than a few pencils, coins, or wrappers of leftover food.

He does keep a hidden snack drawer that’s filled to the brim with all kinds of stuff and he can tell if you’ve been in there. Even if one thing is gone.

Naib had taken you to his room a few hours ago, just so he could be near you. No need for talking when your presence is enough. Which brings us to now, where you were chilling on his beanbag chair with a book that you stole from Joseph’s office. Naib had quietly grunted to signal to you, then gestured to the door that he’ll be back. You nodded and went to go read as he shut the door.

Perfect.

Now was your time to strike. The feeling had been itching away at you ever since you got there. You just had too. It’s not like you could control it anyways. So you crept over to his snack drawer in the bottom of his desk. And picked out a.. large almond joy? (I’m so sorry I’ve been craving fucking almond joys for like weeks so.. you get almond joys.)

Oh well, they were good anyways. Especially frozen, to get that crunch! You place the sugary treat into a pocket that’s least likely to smush it or melt it. Closing the drawer you slip back into your spot, pick up your book, and continue like nothing happened. And that’s when the door opened again, Naib coming back with.. more food? A family sized bag of potato chips to be exact. You roll your eyes and let out a small huff to conceal your want to laugh. He was a strong guy, always working out, burning calories, so eating like this was reasonable, you thought. When he walks over to his snack drawer pulling out a Twix to eat with his chips, he nods to you, politely gesturing again if you wanted some. Which was another way to tell you he loves you, because there was no way he was sharing with anyone else.

You decline, because chips? No, the almond joy. Which means you had to escape, and quick before he finds out.

You stand up, stretching like you’ve been sitting for too long, and grab your jacket off the back of his chair. Turning to him, to say, “Nah, no thanks. I think I’ll wait till dinner to eat. But I’m gonna head out now, see if Victor has any mail for me.”

Naib nods, and stands by the door watching you start to leave. When he suddenly asks, “Did you go in my snack drawer?”

You pause and turn to him, internally “wtf?”-ing. With a shake of your head you lie. “No? Why?”

Naib fixes his hood, looking you up and down for anything out of place. “Dunno, just seemed like there was less than before.”

You glance at the drawer and shrug, trying to play it cool. You really had to go. “I don’t know what to tell you, I really didn’t take anything.”

Naib nods and lets you go for now. Choosing to believe you. Which was great for you, slipping out of his room and shutting the door quietly. Quickly walking away.

You were halfway down the hallway when you heard a door slam open and naib yell,

“MY ALMOND JOY-”

Fuck. ———————————————————————-

I kinda rushed this, it’s not great. Haven’t been feeling well lately, but when am I ever. I’ll try to do better next time, I promise.

[malleleothreesome]

So I scrolled down and just met you through your stage sex fic and scrolled through and couldn't find the pt.2 and it has been a month but I only met you today and I haven't read anything else just yet but I will but my question is will there be a pt.2 cause you have me frothing at the mouth for him and if I have to commission u to do it I will!

Hi!!! Thank you both so much for your interest in my fic. @starshiningsirius ahaha I'm truly honored that you would consider paying me for my work 😅💖 It means a lot to me! Unfortunately, I have not started working on part 2 yet. YET!! I promise I'll get it out to you, I still have interest in finishing it. I'm feeling just like a little... blocked on it.

I think it's because I'm unsure of how kinky to make it. I think there are two camps—people who want 3rd years in the audience, and people who don't. Ever since it was first suggested to me, I think having 3rd years in the audience is a really fun suggestion. Tbh, if it was up to me (which I guess it IS adbjasbdiu but that doesn't necessarily mean I'll go through with it)... I think it would really tie into the story if I had 3rd years forced to sit in the audience as they slowly turned into wood 💀 But I know that's like an extremely kinky thing (and really morbid) to do and theres a lot of ppl who would be like 'ew Erica wtf is wrong with you?' (Also if I have Lilia turning to wood I guess he can't film the show for Malleus so like 🤔🤨🧐)—See I have lots of varying ideas.

I also thought about making a separate post that was like "How would 3rd years react to seeing you on stage having sex with Fellow" and that would give all 3rd years a chance to shine while also keeping things separate for people who don't want to read that. I don't know!!! Please feel free to comment or send me an ask with your suggestions! I mean, I'm even open to the idea of including more than just the 3rd years (I know the Tweels are very beloved characters even though I myself am not into them) but I know that creates even MORE of an ick for other people.

My fear is: now that we are getting deep into the smut of it all, I know everyone has very specific tastes, wants, needs, & icks when it comes to sex, so I'm filled with trepidation when trying to come up with the rest of the plot. Since I separated it into part 1 and part 2, I'm kind of afraid of writing something that will ruin part 2 for people who enjoyed part 1 and were eagerly anticipating part 2. Does that make sense? So I'm thinking about it too deeply, and therefore, I am feeling blocked on starting because I want to come up with something that will please everyone.

Like, if I had just released the whole story from the start, people could have chosen not to read it at all if the content warnings weren't their vibe, but noooow... people who read it already are invested in the outcome of part 2. Ah, the pressure! 😩

Realistically, I know I can't please everyone, but I'm still very new to writing (I've only been posting on here around 2 months now!) and I still have that eagerness to want to strive to make everyone happy. So, I guess it's something I have to work through and get over as a writer.

Also, I've been having fun ignoring my Stage Sex Part 2 anxieties by writing completely different prompts for my writing event going on right now lol. However, I think I'll rip the metaphorical band-aid off starting next year (aka like in a few days lol) and just start writing part 2. Hopefully my blockage will melt away and I'll be able to come up with something I'm happy with! At the end of the day, my main goal is to make reader x Fellow have AMAZING sex, so I guess I'll start with that and see what other things I want to add to spice things up at the end.

Again, thank you both so much for your interest, it means the world to me. I hope to get Part 2 out to you ASAP and I hope I can write something that you really enjoy!

[slasherwife]

🐻Oh, I stopped to think, how the Slashers would react to their S / O being a witch who reincarnated (doesn’t remember the past life, except how she died.), She does rituals (using some potions, animal bones and blood itself). to raise and control plants and a power related to his death (possibly fire) and have nightmares about his death that usually have phantom pain and vision (in the midst of flames and smoke for example.) kisses from Brazil 🐻

Slashers react to a witch s/o

How do the slashers react with you doing tarot, moon rituals, playing with energies, making potions and doing spells?

🌹🌛🌕🌜🌹how do they react to you controlling the elements and getting forewarning of his death?

Thomas Hewitt

Thomas is lowkey intrigued?

Doesn’t even know what this stuff is??

He’s pretty much clueless, but that doesn’t mean you can’t teach him

If you tell him you’re a witch I have a feeling he’ll be taken aback

“B-but the Bible says—“

“No no, the Bible was originally Aramaic, Tommy— and ‘witch’ in Aramaic meant poisoner, my love. I never poison anyone.” 💖💕💖💕

That should do it 😊

Anyway he will still be bewildered a lil bit, just peepin around the corner watching you doing a tarot reading like Ow0 wot

Will catch animals for you to use for rituals

Do you need human bones too? Cuz he’s got you covered 😊💕

But hearing of your past life death? Seeing you play with fire and plant energies? How the universe practically bows to you? He sees you completely different.

He was standing on the back porch, watching you walk towards him as the grass waved to you and the trees bent in your favor, and he never wanted to be apart from you 🌹😊

You are a starlit goddess, sent to him by mistake— and he thinks you belong to the stars above or in the clouds~~ anywhere but his dark, sad home 😓💖

If you have nightmares about his death, he will go under your wing —begrudgingly— under your constant protection

He doesn’t believe too much of your visions, but he hates seeing you upset and his dark goddess doesn’t deserve paranoia 🥀😓

Jason Vorhees

Whatever Jason thinks, he at least acknowledges at his zombie phase that he isn’t exactly considered natural either.

Tbh you guys would be a total power couple 🤗🥺💖

He would be probably more understanding of your occupation than Tommy, and would embrace you fully 😊

Like “I knew my y/n was special. I knew it!” 😊💕

He doesn’t like that you use animal bones though. “Why the poor animals y/n?? Use human bones instead— here.”

He thinks you have superpowers hah

He loves when you raise the plants to be alive again— it’s like you keep it spring all year and he loves it 🥺💖💕💖🌷

Will be happy that you have them so you can protect yourself if need be 😊

Once you tell him about your past life death and how you can manipulate elements and that you’re getting forewarnings dreams of his death... he won’t be too worried.

First off, any thought of you dying in general is caused him literal physical pain. So he didn’t like you talking about that 🥺💕

You controlling the elements, Fire? He will follow you anywhere hon’. 7’1 immortal zombie legend murderer and powerful sorcerer/ess/witch? Biggest power couple 💕🙌🙌

And then lastly, the only thing Jason will worry about from your dreams is how you will manage with out him. That’s literally it 😂🥺💕💖

He knows he will come back eventually, you can’t kill Jason forever— he physically can’t stay dead lol

He will sheepishly miss all the crazy sex you guys have been having, but you stop your worrying! Jason’s like “my poor bab don’t be so scared— I’ll always come back!” 💕💕💖💕

Michael Myers

Will 1000% pretend your powers don’t interest him.

But just know that he’s peeking around the corner when you absent mindedly play with the candle’s flame while mixing a clarity potion, literally on his toes 😂💕

He loves to be around you when you’re doing candle work, making a potion, practicing controlling the elements— because you exert this powerful and foreign energy aura that’s comforting to him 😊💖💕🥺

Another slasher that will go on a midnight trip of catching animals for you because “ANYTHING FOR YOU, MY GODDESS— 😫💖💕💖💕”

But you wouldn’t even ask for it, he would see you making spell charms or bags with animal bones in it—

And then next thing you know he drops a sack of birds and a goat next to you and walks away???🤭

Do I know where he got the goat?? No I fucking do not xD but it kinda stank so you had to drag it out the back door and get to work 😣

And then obviously he’ll give you human bones as well lel 💕

He likes hearing of your past life death, he thinks it’s cool lol 😊💖

Getting forewarnings of Michael’s death? K.

He wouldn’t be bothered really, but he obviously doesn’t want to die— he’s too stubborn for that 💕💖

This is the only time he will ever listen to you xD barely

Basically like “too bad—I’m going out tonight. But I’ll ‘be careful’ or whatever the fuck you said.”

Another huge power couple btw 🙌💖💕

Bubba Sawyer

He thinks you’re so cool 🥺

He’ll think your tarot readings are a game and he’ll pick up random ones and look at them

(He likes the pictures) 😖💖

He’ll be so curious, like snooping around when you’re doing a ritual, snuggling up against you when you’re saying an incantation—

He’s like a cat💖💕

Oh you like animal bones? What a surprise! His house is literally full of them. 😶🌷

Ya you have an endless supply of animal bones— you won’t ever run out 😂💖💕

You died in your past life? WHAT? Why? *crying*

He will snuggle you all night when you tell him that 🥺

Also thinks you’re a goddess that was sent to him and can NOT wrap his head around the fact that you two met by chance 🥺💖

Cherishes you every single day and will probably be super clingy because you’re just his strong woman who deserves everything for the queen she is— *INHALE* yeah. 😖😖💕💕💖💖

Wait. What? You dreamt of me dying? What abt you will you be okay my little blueberry muffin??

He won’t careeee but at the same time he wants to stay with youuuuu😖💖💕

Just so he can stay alive to be with you, he’ll do everything you say to stay safe and will follow every protocol much to Chop Tops annoyment. 🤷‍♀️😊💕

“No, sorry—Y/n says I can’t do that.”

I love you two together, it gives me the feels 🥺💕💖

Bo Sinclair

Ooooh niceeee

Lowkey interested but probably won’t show it 😆

Like u do u— don’t know don’t care as long as you keep making me pbjs

Prepare for bewildererd looks when he walks in on your using blood/bones for a particular ritual 😳

Like you’ll just be sitting on your bed with your eyes closed, holding a black candle trying to banish negative energy and he’ll walk in—

“Want me to leave...?”

“Shhhhhhh....”

He’ll probably come home one day with an animal skull or something like, “babe I found this owl beak... you want it?” 😂💖💕

He’ll probably tell Lester to catch something while he’s out and about, and then take it and tell you that he got it for you all by himself😂💕

Lowkey scared of you sometimes

He’s not scared of blood, but like y are u using it..??

Tried not to piss you off too much so you hex him or something xD 💖💕

You: *manipulating fire and wind out back*

Bo, walking in on it: bitch what the fu—

If you tell him you’re getting visions of his death, he’ll probably be super skeptical and give you it a smartass remark— probably ask if you’ve been smoking the mugwort too 😳😶

But if you persist on it— he’ll get frustrated but will listen to you because he doesn’t like seeing u upset 🥺🌷

Brahmsie

Bitch wtf u doin?

So confused— explain now

This little shit will go through all of your stuff and take what he thinks is cool and will probably piss off your deities (if u have deities) 😂

You’ll have to make him apologize and have him give it back~~which I wish you the best of luck w 😂💖💕

You’ll just be minding your own business when Brahmsie is looking at your things—

The he legit looks at you dead in the eyes and takes your dragon figurine and disappears into the walls, much to your panic 😓😶😶

But since you can do all this stuff, now 3x more scared of you even tho you’re a small bean in comparison to him— 😳💕🌷

You threatened to hex him if he didn’t start actin right and he started being nice real quick 😂🙌💕💕

Where did u get that blood? 😶😳

Using animal bones? Use the dead rats y/n! Duh!

Bonus for him if he manages to sack the grocery boy and take his bones too 😶💘

“ANYTHING FOR YOU MY QUEEN!” 🙌😭💖💖

If he finds you controlling the elements and sees u controlling fire.... he leaves immediately dont you know he’s terrified of fire??

Yeah uh he demands in a shaky voice that you stop doing that or else ☹️😶he doesn’t like fire at all

But that’s okay cuz you’re still the fuckin coolest person hes ever been w! 😆💘

Wait wut...? You’re saying I’m gonna die? UWU SAVE ME Y/N I DONT WANNA DIEEE

He will literally get so scared when you tell him you’re getting forewarnings of his death, and will go under your wing definitely the most willingly 😅💓💓

Whatever, more cuddles for him! And some other things 😏

I hope u liked ittt! Sorry I’ve not the time to post ANYTHING lately— it took me 5 days to finish this one because of how busy w school I am— but I hope you like it!! 💖💖

[stealingpotatoes]

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

///

ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon

[sailorvinus]

Hiya! I've been wanting to send you tell you all of this via ask for a while--- I just didn't know how to word all of this up especially while in this depressed state ( hopefully you'll recognize me by... *gestures vaguely* but anyway! ), though seeing the portrayal post, I decided to just Take A Moment To Think over this and okay: So, Virote is honest to above one of my biggest comfort characters, one of my favourite original characters not on this hellsite or any forums I roleplayed on or fanfics I read--- just Ever, period. Whenever I learn something new about Vi, either through your posts or replies to the prompts or our dms, it always bring me a big smile and laughter! Vi is such a wonderful and fascinating and delightful character, and you and him have definitely make my roleplay experiences on this site infinite times more fun and colourful!

I just adore everything about Vi. I love how extremely fun and creative Vi is! So many of his replies were truly out of this world, it's amazing! He got the sparks and sparkles, and aren't afraid to throw them around! I love how he doesn't let anyone underestimate them and does not hesitate to smack them right into official music videos and tear their spines off to use them as jumping ropes snfkNSKFN and I just love how incredibly supportive and wise he is with children and those who would face their problems everyday. There's always so much to learn and see about him and I love love love it so much.

You know, every time I would see mentions ooc or ic of Vi's terrible experience with That Guy who got him into the mental hospital and a whole other things with his mental health, my heart deeply aches for him. Though Vi is such a powerful individual who's just trying to get through his days doing his jobs and hobbies and being with friends or partners despite all of the hot mess, and I don't know, I just find it very admirable and I respect him a whole lot. I always love reading Vi's advices and supports to other muses; they in some way comfort me, and truly, I just wish only the best for him. He's amazing and deserves only the best.

In summary: I adore Vi so much and I will always love and appreciate whatever you do with him. I get this may sound silly when you're just on here to vibe, but he does mean a lot to me and I'm always beyond grateful to have followed you to have my dash and especially life be a bit more brighter by your and Vi's presences. Just! Thank you for taking the time and energy to share anything with Vi on this hellsite. You and him definitely make it a bit more tolerable to handle and you two will always have my love and support! <3

LEMME SETTLE IN AND ANSWER THIS REAL SWEET MESSAGE WTF

first off im pretty sure i kno who this is.... i luv u tf thank u!!! second omg ur comfort character :( thats... this trainwreck??? who woulda thought huh..... esp since hes

you know

Himself™.

anyway yeah hes just... some guy! alien royalty aside he really is just some guy and hes not gonna pretend to be anything else. and he has his fair share of trauma... victories... losses... he takes the good, he takes the both, he takes em both and now u have the facts of life!! and as much as it pains me to see him get flattened down to like 1 or 2 traits sometimes, i at least kno in my heart of hearts that he has so much going on. so much he cant and wont talk about with just anyone.... like u rly gotta make him open up.

the downside to that is yeah. he sometimes might get flattened down to a couple of traits that don’t even make up his core personality. vis capable of being full of love for the world, but also capable of being horribly cruel to those that deserve it!! and yeah his temper is shown more because thats mostly what’s brought out of him. i do love when he gets to be tender....... im sure uve seen it too....

:””) so thank u so much for having you know....... a good grasp on who he is and what he struggles with. really its just him, his career, his seventy-five-thousand mental illnesses, and ambition.....

hes just some guy.

virote is really just some guy. just that guy that dresses way too well, somehow sitting outsid a gas station eating a hot dog, smoking a joint, and reading over emails from event coordinators hes working with or some shit ;lkfmdgfjkd. 

and for all his messiness, he really is brilliant. highly intelligent. but he’s not gonna flaunt it.... that just seems like a waste and for him people who are truly smart dont gotta shove it in everyones faces. so yeah! hes here to act a clown, enjoy life, get over pain, and maybe punch a person or fifteen thru the journey ya never kno :))) hes just someone livin life

and i think thats pretty dope...................... so thanks i luv this so much tf....... very glad to see ppl actually remember facts about him like his previous relationship and how badly it hurt him and all that stuff........ makes my heart aflutter!!!!

[timextoxhajima]

get to know the blog!

I had to do it on my main because I couldn't copy the entire post rip @banana-binbin why cant i tag u wtf LMAO

Rules: answer questions and tag another blog you would like to get to know better.

Tagging: @seasideheeseung @tinisprout @saltyboyz @haechanhues

.. .. .. ..

what day is your birthday? April 12

what’s your favorite color? blue or white

what’s your lucky number? 4, 8 and 12 (sometimes 9)

do you have any pets? i used to have a hamster named pepper <3

how tall are you? 163cm/5'4 ish

how many pairs of shoes do you have? too fucking many - i own 2 pairs of converse, 1 vans, 1 adidas, 2 charles and keith, 1 superga, and like 5 shoes that isn't of a specific brand (the kinds you buy at cotton on/general stores)

favourite song? too many

favourite movie? the bucket list, interstellar, marley & me, spirit the stallion of the cimarron

what would your ideal partner be like? no clue but i definitely do lean towards a guy who's not really afraid of putting himself out there, someone passionate and considerate, someone who will stand up for himself, someone who's got situational awareness and has a credible EQ (cause i fucking hate it when a person cant read a room or says things without thinking), someone who's athletic/isnt a caveman LMAO and it'll be nice if he can out-alpha my ass some day because I'm too alpha irl for my own good HA

do you want children? if they are on 4s and covered with fur and cant speak then yes

have you gotten in trouble with the law? no

bath or shower? bath

what color socks are you wearing? I'm not wearing socks LMAO

favourite type of music? no clue, probably jazz or lounge or r&b tbh. the only time i listen to anything more hyped is when I'm dancing

how many pillows do you sleep with? too fucking many HAHAH i have 1 for my head, another rectangular pillow to hug and one big bolster to hug too, i have a tiny baby pillow and like 8 plushies on my bed LMAOOOOOO

what position do you sleep in? usually on one side, outer leg thrown over the pillow and ill hug something to sleep

what you don’t like when you’re sleeping? omg honestly anything, because im a light sleeper. someone walking in (even when the door's open), or picking something up, can wake me up

what do you have for breakfast? i didn't have breakfast LMAO

have you ever tried archery? nope

favourite fruit? no clue. probably strawberries or mango or passionfruit esp in drinks

favourite swear word? oh HAHAHAH I'm really inclined to saying 'fuck me' or 'fuck' LMAO i also know a couple of malay/canton/hokkien swear words too

do you have any scars? i have almost-unnoticecable scars on my knees cause i was an active kid and also fell a lot, i have scars on my shins from skating boots being strapped too tight, i have a scar on my lower back because i was playing hide and seek once and rammed my spine into a corner, i have a scar on my second toe on my right foot because my friend was chasing after me with champagne and i tripped on the stairs and tore the skin right off

are you a good liar? depends LMAO

what’s your personality type? INFJ-T

what’s your favorite type of girl? the ones who know how to stand up for themselves BUT aren't a know-it-all

innie or outtie? innie

left or right handed? right

favorite food? idk i eat anything i don't hate LMAO

favourite foreign food? NO CLUE I EAT ANYTHING THAT LOOKS GOOD AND SMELLS GOOD ANDADDF

are you clean or messy? I'm a backhanded neat freak as long as it doesn't bother me

most used phrase? these days it's 'stop bullying me'

how long does it take you to get ready? depends on where I'm going

do you talk to yourself? nope

do you sing to yourself? mhm

are you a good singer? nope

biggest fear? not succeeding in my future career prospects

are you a gossip? depends

do you like long or short hair? both is fine

favourite school subject? literature/writing

introvert or extrovert? introv

what makes you nervous? bullying

who was your first real crush? the kid in my kindergarten LMAO

how fast can you run? p fucking fast actually i clocked in 11 seconds for a 100m shuttle run

what colour is your hair? dark brown

do you like your own name? ehhhhh idk man 'dana' was named after dana scully from the x files and she's beautiful and smart but like ?? and then my Chinese name means sensitivity and fluidity (as in water) but like ????? HAHAHA

what makes you angry? too many things LMAO

do you want a boy or a girl as a child? if i had any, I've always wanted 1 each but i don't want kids so-

what are your strengths? i think i crack people really easily, like people generally open up to me pretty quickly

what are your weaknesses? I'm a bit of a pushover irl, i cant really say no and i take up a job whenever someone needs help

what’s the color of your bedspread? teal with green cacti

what’s the color of your room? white and blue!

[transsexualhamlet]

Sherlock Holmes Reactions As A Flaming Homosexual (part 5 lmao)

Again I will be putting this shit under the cut because it's gonna be So Long and also fair warning for sherlock is in fact a raging drug addict and I have a lot of yknow parts that talk about that so tread with caution but hi i am once again yelling. keep in mind i am deliriously ill while writing this one but i think i sound. just about as insane as usual. maybe it's a bit less organized tho lol

OK FIRST I WILL STATE IT SOMEHOW DID NOT COME TO MY ATTENTION FIRST READING SIGN OF FOUR THAT WATSON APPARENTLY F U C K S

like i think it's so funny that most people will look at those two and definitely think it's the other way around but no. sherlocks a virgin and watson has had sex with every woman ever and probably not limited to women

and another thing I somehow missed the first time around in sign of four. sherlock sherlock please honey this is serious get help

TH

THREE TIMES A GODDAMN DAY???? SHERLOCK I AM BEGGING YOU TO STOP HOW IS THIS MAN ALIVE

Funniest thing is that watson tells him to stop and hes like Watson i Only do drugs when the Newspaper is boring

is the newspaper boring three times a day sherlock. is it really

And at the same time sherlock checks the paper like a goddamn phone notification he'll just run out and get the latest version to see if anything's changed just like on the hour. Wow that man is not neurotypical.

poor watson tbh

why are these men just batshit fucking insane I love them

So yeah back to some random funny bits i got from reading a ton of the short stories

Ok i must say it's quite funny just my experience being either reading something about sherlock and watson and going awww they're in love or just violently yelling S H E R L O C K

Cause i was like reading a bit where watson was talking about how he was on a nice little walk with sherlock, you know, the kind of walk where no one talks but it's really comfortable and you know only people who know each other Very Intimately like him and sherlock are that well together and i was just like aww

And then three seconds later I'm laughing my ass off about "how did you know my name" "IT WAS ON YOUR HAT"

SDHFDHHDFHFDS AND ALSO THAT TIME WHEN SHERLOCK JUST COMPLETELY GODDAMN MISREAD A SITUATION AND MADE UP THIS CONSPIRACY ABOUT LIKE A SECRET HUSBAND WHOS DEATH HAD BEEN FAKED AND THEN IT WAS JUST OH NO MY KID'S BLACK WHATEVER SHALL I DO

AND BECAUSE HE WAS SO EMBARASSED ABOUT IT HES LIKE WATSON IF I EVER MAKE UP SOME DUMB SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN FEEL FREE TO CALL ME A FUCKING IDIOT and wow thats the most humble thing hes ever done

And then he starts saying shit like "i hope your marriage doesn't change anything between us" like damn shawty what is that supposed to mean /homosexual

I also love how bc watson is the only one writing it when sherlock is talking about something that happened to him in the past with quotes and stuff there's just like seven fucking quotation marks around each other im dying

SGBDFSNNDSGNSFNFDSDFS I THOUGHT THE SHOOTING THE WALL THING WAS A YUUMORI SPECIFIC THING NO HE JUST DOES IT FOR FUN AND NOT JUST ONCE LIKE HE MAKES ART OUT OF THE FUCKING BULLET HOLES HE WAS MAKING BULLET HOLE ART OF QUEEN VICTORIA PLEASE IM CRYING AND HUDSON WAS LIKE STOP??? SHOOTING THE WALL??? AND HES LIKE SHAWTY IM ALMOST DONE CALM DOWN

And when they make him clean his goddamn room im losing my mind why does he keep random shit from his old cases "in case it comes in handy" and "to remember that time i solved that thing" i am going to throw marie kondo at you

BASFBGHDFSHGFHFSDHHDSFDS IM NOT EVEN SURPRISED THIS HAPPENED BUT ITS SO FUNNY WHEN HE JUST GOT SO HYPERFIXATED ON A CASE THAT HE JUST FUCKING. WORKED ON IT 15 HRS A DAY FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN GOT SO EXHAUSTED AND SICK THAT WATSON HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HIM AND TAKE HIM TO THE SEASIDE TO GET BETTER LIKE HE GOT VICTORIAN WOMAN DISEASE AND SOMEONE IMMEDIATELY FUCKING GOT MURDERED RIGHT NEXT DOOR AND WATSONS JUST LIKE. HHHHHHHHHHH FINE I SUPPOSE YOU JUST FUCKING KILL YOURSELF AGAIN ALL THIS IS FOR NOTHING IM TRYING SO GODDAMN HARD

I feel so bad for him, hes just trying so hard to keep this idiot alive and it is Not Working

Ok so like this is something Im still absolutely reeling over because it's like. it doesn't even seem real to me but the fact that Sherlock has multiple times just like gone to watson's house in the middle of the night, climbed up his goddamn wall and into his window, been like "you better not be busy" and started Talking

Like. Man's in his nightgown and just sees this fucker climbing in the window like "WATSON WATSON YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I FOUND" and not just that. he's like "I only came in because you don't fucking sleep with your wife and it appears that you don't have any men in here either so I thought it was ok" LIKE ONE, WTF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN SHERLOCK WHY WOULD HE HAVE OTHER MEN IN HIS BEDROOM SEHGIHO:EWOHO:GHE BUT TWO, WHYYY ARE THEY GAY

He didn't even fucking ask or say he was gonna do that no watson just has no clue when hes gonna show up and start remarking upon watson's appearance what even. homosexuals

Sherlock honestly just baffles me sometimes.

Oh, also, I read the one with Mycroft in it, and wow, is the man just as boring as he is in yuumori. That's just hilarious that sherlock is this absolutely insane man and then in contrast his older brother Pays Money to Sit In A Completely Silent Room and Read The Paper

It's so funny how he's like. Straight up even smarter than sherlock but no one gives a shit about him because he just. Is so fucking boring and antisocial

Like, we don't know anything about Sherlock's childhood but like. Part of me wants to think that it must have been absolutely insane and then Mycroft's rebellious stage was to just be fucking boring. Like. I would believe that. Just imagine that

I am going to make the final problem stuff its own post just cause I went absolutely insane over it but yea this was certainly an experience

[letterstomilen]

i discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)

Childe/Zhongli, Alternate Universe (read part 2 here) When Childe's younger sister tells him about the volunteer at the library, he does not make the connection between that and his new favorite ASMR YouTuber, Rex Lapis.

Childe has a very effective method of getting through college. His little sister, who’s caught him making coffee at three in the morning on more than one occasion the past week alone, would beg to differ. 

“You’re the best older brother,” she starts off, and he’s sure she’s trying to convince herself more than him at this point, “but you need to fix your sleeping habits.” Then, because she’s his little sister, she’d flash him a smile and pat his shoulder reassuringly.

(The comment is not lost on him though. He understands his sleeping situation will eventually wear him down if it hadn’t already, but he believes if he’ll drink a coffee every morning and a Monster every night, he’ll get through three days. By the third day, he’ll hardly be coherent but that doesn’t matter because he’ll conk out for the next twelve hours and then repeat.)

“Don’t worry, Tonia,” he says, trying to sound as reassuring as possible as he contemplates whether it’s worth it or not to swallow a pill of 5-hour energy with his morning coffee. “Once break ends, I’ll get back to normal.”

“You said that six seasons ago.”

Childe frowns, trying to remember if his sleeping schedule was this dysfunctional last year. “Huh?”

“The Walking Dead seasons,” Tonia clarifies, as if she’s not twelve years old and the show is for grown adults. He thinks. He hasn’t checked Commonsensemedia ever since La Signora labeled him as a “helicopter parent” and his Netflix tab has been playing How to Get Away with Murder as background noise for the past few weeks.

Isn’t it a show about zombies though? Tonia’s sheepish smile tells it all, because it’s the same exact guilty look he had when he got caught red-handed as a kid.

(Once he remembers later, Childe promises himself, he’ll check out The Walking Dead.)

“Oh. Well. I have a lot of shows to catch up on, you know. Not to mention a ton of my professors gave me reading for over the break.”

A half lie. They did give him a lot of reading because each professor assumed that their classes were his only one, and with seven days left, he still has a textbook worth of reading to go through. But there are no shows that Childe would sacrifice his precious sleep for. As a matter of fact, he would love to sleep. He’s spent the majority of his classes back in high school sleeping and faking attention, saving his grade at the last minute — it was quite the extreme sport really, if he says so himself.

Whenever he tries to sleep recently, his thoughts run at several hundred miles per hour, and he spends several hours staring at the ceiling before succumbing to the computer at his desk and watching trashy movies. At this point, he must have gone through the entire romance comedy list on Netflix. (Not a proud point in his life but if anybody ever wanted him to give a list of best to worst romance comedy movies, he now has one.)

Tonia, on the other hand, isn’t incredibly convinced.

Admittedly, the excuse was lame. Also, he can’t easily lie to his little sister, who’s far shrewder than he takes her for at times.

“You never start your reading in advance. You like to speed read it right before your class or watch a five-minute video on the chapters while your teachers take attendance. But that’s… uh, ‘a bad work ethic.’” Tonia looks immensely proud of herself as she says this, finishing it off with, “Zhongli told me that.”

“Zhongli?” he repeats, trying to remember if that’s one of her classmates or some stranger that’s hoping to kidnap his sister.

“The guy that volunteers at the library sometimes. He recommended me a loot of good books to read, but he talks like an old man.”

“How old?” Childe can tell she’s enjoying this — talking about her new friend at the library that he’ll probably have to run a background check on.

“Like he’s in his sixties or something. But he looks… actually, he looks your age! And he’s a student too. I told him all about you.”

Well, that doesn’t sound very reassuring coming from the mouth of a twelve-year-old. He’s not sure if that translates to his social security number, his current dilemma, or just that he’s her older brother.

“Like all of the stories you told me when I was a kid. And then when Lumine came to pick me up, she stayed to show him pictures of you too.”

“Of course she did,” he mumbles, ruffling her hair. One of these days he’s going to move without telling his classmates and the twins won’t enter his apartment unannounced. (But Tonia adores their company and the stories they tell her far too much for him to actually do it. But that doesn’t mean he’s above making threats when they tell his little sister about the bet he made about white-out and how it could dye hair. The jury is still out on this one.) “She’s just mad because I get away with it and she doesn’t. But don’t do it yourself. It’s a bad habit,” he adds, remembering that he should at least try to be a good influence on his younger sister when he can.

“Okaaay,” she says unconvincingly, before shaking her hair and running off to her room with lunch he prepared for her.

Watching her close the door and no doubt continue her binge of The Walking Dead, he takes out his phone and texts Lumine.

 Childe

12:35

ur a horrible influence on tonia

 Childe

12:35

and whos this ZHONGLI

 Childe

12:35

also is twd appropriate for 12 y/os

 Twin 1

12:37

a normal person would say hi

 Twin 1

12:37

also 1. me n aether watched it when we were 12 so probably and 2. some guy at the library that also goes to our school

 Well. At least he’s somebody they know. But The Walking Dead?

 Childe

12:38

thats not very convincing

 Childe

12:38

also dont ppl DIE? get BITTEN???? what if she gets nightmares

 Twin 1

12:39

isnt she 12 r u telling me u weren’t watching R rated movies at 12

 Childe

12:42

thats very different from a 10 season long show that is hailed as “one of the greatest horror shows in history” and “paved the way for post-apocalyptic horror”

 Twin 1

12:42

well if she has trouble sleeping she could always watch asmr. that helps me during midterms idk

 Childe

12:42

whats asmr

 Childe

12:43

asking for my sister btw

 Twin 1

12:44

A feeling of well-being combined with a tingling sensation in the scalp and down the back of the neck, as experienced by some people in response to a specific gentle stimulus, often a particular sound.

 Childe

12:45

wtf?

 Twin 1

12:45

people on the internet make random sounds or just talk into a mic n its supposed to be very relaxing. how have u never found out abt this?????

 Childe

12:45

idk the only thing on my youtube recommended r greatest stunts and chapter review videos

 Twin 1

12:47

… makes sense

 Twin 1

12:47

check out rex lapis’ channel he looks like ur type

 Childe

12:48

i thought we were talking about my sister????

 Twin 1

12:50

[message screenshots.jpg]

 Twin 1

12:50

ya she told me everything

 Twin 1

12:50

have fun i need to convince aether to not commit arson bc of his TA

 Childe

12:51

hope he does it

He opens his Youtube app, typing in Rex Lapis and expecting Lumine’s suggestion to be a joke. Despite them being friends for nearly two years now, she’s never made any indication of knowing his type. And he’s sure he’s never been that vocal about it either, only shooting appreciative looks at history majors and paying more attention than necessary to the TA for ‘Tradition of Justice and Law.’ (It’s unfortunate that those short-term crushes never led to anything, but maybe that’s for the better seeing that Childe has never understood the appeal of relationships.)

It is an ASMR channel, judging by the ASMR playlist he finds as he scrolls through the account. The icon shows no face — only a microphone — which leaves him skeptical. Most of the video titles belong in a petrology lecture as well, which makes him even more convinced that it’s a joke. He finds a few readings of ancient literature and decides to pick ‘I discuss the classification of igneous petrology as you fall asleep during my lecture (PART 1) (ASMR)’ because that’s exactly what he needs. (Not the very moment — but ten hours later when he’s in the bed memorizing the pattern of his ceiling wondering why he stole from his fifth grade teacher’s candy jar during lunch.)

When Childe opens the video, he damn near gasps.

The man in the video is exactly his type. His eyes are a soft amber color, framed with long lashes, and it’s almost enough for him to lose his dignity and message Lumine a long thank you text about how she is always right and he’ll pay for her coffee for the following week.  He smiles at the screen, albeit a little sheepishly, dark hair framing his face with a long ponytail that Childe can’t see the end of. On his right ear, there are a pair of earrings with a single feather that brush against his neck when he moves his head.

Even before he speaks, Childe is mesmerized, sure he’ll already memorize his features from the curve of his nose to the way he tilts his head, displaying the expanse of his neck.

Really — he reminds him of actors in historical dramas, the way he sits regally, and how he speaks. His voice is low and slow as he adopts a careful manner of speaking, leaning into the mic.

“I’m Rex Lapis, and I’ll be discussing igneous petrology today, which is part one in a three-part petrology series. I apologize in advance, seeing that my knowledge is limited compared to many petrologists out there but my friend Venti said that many of my viewers are here for my voice, so I’m very excited to start today’s video.”

Holy shit.

For the following week, Childe learns less about petrology, the philosophy of economics, and historical revisionism concerning matters of war and more about Rex Lapis, who is not in love with his voice but often finds himself in the middle of long tangents without explanations. His favorite book series is the Legend of the Lone Sword, which he says he’ll look forward to reading out loud for the channel. (Childe replays that part of the video again and again, captivated by his excitement as he mindlessly taps the mic while he speaks, his tangent cutting off mid-word — as it usually does, much to his dismay.)

His guilty obsession is not lost on Tonia, who realizes that instead of drinking Monster every night he’s been engrossed in his phone completely, often not noticing her or when the water starts bubbling. But because his sleeping schedule has been alleviated, she says nothing until Lumine comes over as she always does, not forgetting their weekly schedule of watching trashy movies while leeching off of Childe’s food.

Because he doesn’t trust the twins with the kitchen — even if they can cook — she instead spends her time sitting next to Tonia and spreading more of her anti-Childe propaganda while they wait. This usually involves Tonia occasionally calling out Childe’s name and asking, “Is that true?” or “Did you really do that?”

This time is different though.

Worried that Lumine finally decided to show Tonia a video of last semester’s presentation, he leans over, looking at the computer screen.

And he’s wrong. Unfortunately. Maybe it should’ve been his presentation because even if he botched it and accidentally projected his work process — screaming notes and all — to the class instead of his actual presentation, it would’ve been better than the two of them watching one of Rex Lapis’ videos together.

The ‘I read Erosion: Essays of Undoing to you as it rains outside’ video, to be specific, which is where Rex Lapis is embarrassed by Venti mid video when asked if this was his idea of a date with a lover. (And then it ends with Rex Lapis asking for video suggestions from the commentors, his face still flushed from the previous comments.)

Oh God — oh fuck.

“So he is your type,” Lumine says, her expression a bit too smug for his liking. Tonia looks half awake, scrolling through articles as the video plays, more interested in ‘Top 10 Glenn Rhee Moments’ than Childe’s crush. Her expression is a bit guilty as she does so — she’s biting her lip and avoiding his gaze, but he assumes that it’s just because they went through his YouTube history.

“I can neither confirm nor deny that statement,” he retorts, but the YouTube history she pulls up once Tonia hands the computer over to her says it all. (It’s quite mortifying, really — even Tonia is giving him a look, but it’s not as bad as Lumine’s shit eating grin.)

“Well… he does have a nice voice,” Childe finally says, thinking that perfectly encompasses his most recent obsession. Because he does have a nice voice — it’s soothing and speaks to him without really speaking to him directly. (The good looks are a bonus, he assures himself. A fantastic bonus, but a bonus nonetheless.)

“He does,” Tonia confirms, smiling toothily up at him, and he resists the urge to ruffle her hair with Lumine staring at him so skeptically. “But I don’t understand much of what he’s saying. He — heh — talks like an old man.”

“Don’t worry, Tonia, your brother likes him because he’s attractive,” Lumine informs her, now fast forwarding on one of Rex Lapis’ videos. “Did you know that he lives nearby?”

“Huh?”

The knife he’s holding clatters to the floor, and the two look down and back up at him with— hold on, why does it feel like they’re in on a secret he doesn’t know about?

“Yeah, he’s working on his grad thesis I think… Aether told me it was about something on history,” she muses. “That’s why I recommended his channel to you. He’s a bit of a celebrity in his department.” Childe’s sure his jaw dropped now, trying to maintain his facial expression as he takes out a new knife to chop up the onions.

“Really,” he tries to say as calmly as possible, wondering how he should accompany Aether to his lectures without trying to seem as obvious as possible. His voice is a bit shaky he realizes but he can’t quite make the connection between Rex Lapis and actual graduate student that goes to his university.

“Yeah, actually…” Lumine is definitely pretending to think now, enjoying this far too much. “He—”

“It’s Zhongli!” his little sister yells excitedly, practically jumping up and down at this point as if she won the lottery. “Zhongli runs an ASMR channel and he talks just like that in real life! Right, Lumine?”

“Yeah.”

Childe sighs, holding a hand up to his face. The realization that he’s been obsessed with the same guy that hears about every stupid thing he did secondhand is way too much — and the fact that he’s been listening to his voice every night before he went to bed the past week is way too much. He’s sure his face is redder than before judging by the amused expressions on Lumine’s and Tonia’s faces — really, they’re mirror images of each other right now.

Not for the first time, Childe swears to himself that he’ll never let her into his apartment without signing a contract ever again.

[thatbookgirl1118]

Aight y'all.

I keep seeing these Snape hate posts, and it's driving me nuts. I think a lot of people are just jumping on the bandwagon because of the disgusting things JK's been saying lately, and while I agree that she's being terrible, it doesn't have anything to do with Snape and I don't think that warrants condensing this man's entire complex, conflicting background into "guy got friend-zoned and didn't leave her alone."

So here's why Snape is not the horrible character y'all been making him out to be lately:

Number one. Lily. One of the favorite reasons for why Snape is terrible is that he's a 'creepy stalker' and wouldn't leave Lily alone.

Let's take a look at the facts.

Lily and Snape met when they were, like, eight. They were the only people who understood each other, and Snape was the one person Lily could go to when Petunia was being a royal biatch. They were BEST FRIENDS.

Then they go to Hogwarts, and they're sorted into different houses. Not just different, OPPOSITE. SLYTHERIN AND GRYFFINDOR. And you know what happened? NOTHING. LITERALLY. NOTHING. THEY STAYED FRIENDS. Yes, it was a bit of a strain, especially once Lily and James became friends, but in reality the cause of their falling out had nothing to do with her being a Gryffindor. And before she became friends with James, let's remember: she HATED him. VEHEMENTLY. And Snape agreed, especially considering he was FREAKING BULLIED BY HIM. James was a good person at heart, and he did a lot of good things, but let's please not forget that he made mistakes, too. It doesn't discount the good things about him, it makes him human, and let's please remember that THAT'S KINDA THE WHOLE POINT OF THE SERIES. So how things stand: Snape and Lily are inter-house friends, James is an ass. (Also, part of the reason Snape hated James initially was that he liked Lily, and so did Snape. The difference, of course, was that James was a complete ass to everyone INCLUDING Lily, and Snape was her best friend.) Then Snape starts falling in with the wrong crowd. And his friendship with Lily becomes a liability, because she's both a Gryffindor and, far more importantly, Muggleborn.

Now. I'm NOT saying that everything Snape did was okay. A lot of it was disgusting and despicable and generally horrible. But again. He's HUMAN. He's kinda the biggest grey area on earth, and that makes him HUMAN.

So, one day, when James is, as usual, being a complete ass, Lily stands up for Snape. And he's feeling scared, and embarrassed, and weak, and all the other things VICTIMS OF BULLYING tend to feel, and the girl he likes just stood up for him. Which had to hurt, because Snape wants her to see him as a protector, because he likes her, but she just saved HIM. Add this to all the conflicting emotions he must be having about the future Death Eaters he's hanging out with, and his desire to both have and protect Lily, and he's basically a ticking time bomb. And he explodes. And calls Lily a mudblood.

Major wtf is wrong w u moment.

But that's the point. He SCREWS UP. Because he's HUMAN.

At this point, Snape knows he's gone too far. He probably could've salvaged the relationship, and he probably knew that somewhere in his heart, but he was probably mostly feeling horrified and sick to his stomach and had also, lets remember, kinda convinced himself that Lily liked James and she could never be his. He didn't feel worthy of her. So he decides to distance himself from her, because he knows he's getting mixed up with the wrong people, but it's what everyone expects from him. But she doesn't belong there, and he wants to protect her (also one of the main reasons he probably got involved with these people in the first place, to try and protect her), so he tells her to stay away from him.

Now, if I remember correctly (I could be completely wrong because it's been a bit since I read the last book, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), Lily didn't actually stop. I'm pretty sure she tried to talk to him several more times after the incident. That's not the behavior a victim of stalking and abuse would exhibit, don't ya think? But even if this didn't happen, I think we've made a firm case for them being CLOSE FRIENDS. Honestly I wouldn't blame her for immediately abandoning his dumb butt after what he said to her.

So fast forward a bit. Lily marries James, and Snape joins Lord Voldemort. Then he hears the prophecy Trelawney gives, and not knowing who it pertains to, tells Voldemort. Voldemort then becomes convinced that it means Harry.

Now, Snape has not only just discovered that the love of his life is about to be killed, but that it was HIS FAULT. He told Voldemort about the prophecy. So he goes to Dumbledore and literally BEGS him to hide Lily. In return he turns traitor to the Death Eaters and risks his life over and over, all for the arbitrary promise he's been made that Lily and her family will be protected. AND HER FAMILY. HE DIDN'T PULL THE THING WHERE HE ONLY SAVES HER AND LETS THE REST OF THEM DIE HE SAVES ALL OF THEM BECAUSE HE KNOWS LILY DOESN'T LOVE HIM BUT HE. STILL. LOVES. HER. AND HE WANTS HER TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE EVEN IF IT ISN'T WITH HIM. Y'ALL THAT'S THE EXACT DEFINITION OF TRUE LOVE YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME.

And then, after all that, Lily DIES. As does James, and while he may have been Snape's rival, I think we've established that Snape is human, and that had to hurt if only because he was the man Lily loved and the father of her child.

And after all this, after risking his life for a promise that wasn't even kept, do you know what he did?

He stayed and helped Dumbledore. He was one of the main reasons Harry was able to defeat Voldemort. Yes, in the beginning, it was probably just a convenient way to avoid Azkaban. But he did what Dumbledore instructed EVEN AFTER THE MAN WAS DEAD. He could've easily killed Dumbledore and then joined Voldemort for real, but he helped Harry instead, because he was still atoning for what happened to Lily.

And speaking of Harry, let's talk about that relationship. From even a conceptual standpoint, before they ever met, think about what this boy represents to Snape. He's Lily's son, yes, but because of that he's a constant reminder of her and everything that happened with her. He's also James' son, Snape's bully and the man who got Lily. And to top it all off, he's the REASON SHE'S DEAD. If it weren't for him and the prophecy, she'd still be alive. Now, these are not things that are okay to think about an innocent child. I'm not saying he was justified in treating Harry like shit. In fact, I loathed Snape with my entire soul for the first 6 books. I'm saying LOOK AT THE FACTS. Snape is not a normal person. He's a Death Eater, who's done and seen terrible things, and only switched to the right side because of Lily. So he's not going to think to himself, "this isn't this innocent child's fault." Hell, even if he did, he's not going to take it into account when he interacts with the kid. And on top of it all, as is said several times, Harry is INCREDIBLY like his father. He looks like him, talks like him, and has a penchant for getting into trouble. So when he clashes with Snape (and honestly I think even if they didn't have a history these two would've clashed, they're just too different), Snape takes it personally and treats Harry like shit. AND YET. First year, when Quirrel tries to kill Harry, who saves him? Snape. Third year, when Lupin transforms into a werewolf (and Snape's been making his potion all year and whether Dumbledore forced him or not, let's remember that Lupin was a Marauder and while he probably didn't take direct part in the bullying, he certainly didn't DO anything about it, so frankly it's a miracle Snape didn't poison him), his first instinct is to protect the children - and frankly I think that would've been his first instinct no matter who those kids were, because regardless of the terrible things he's done, Snape is first and foremost a teacher. Fifth year, while he didn't do anything to help the kids directly, he takes the warning Harry gives him (they've got Padfoot at the place where it's hidden) and sends the Order after the kids. I don't think it's ever directly stated that it was him, but how else could the Order know they were there? ALSO. I'M NOT GLOSSING OVER ALL THE SERIOUSLY HORRIBLE THINGS SNAPE DID FIFTH YEAR. But he DID send the Order, so let's give credit where credit's due. He also gives Harry Occlumency lessons, which he made exceedingly unpleasant but he was still trying to protect Harry. Sixth year he hurts Harry in about a billion ways, but to be fair the majority of those ways were ordered by Dumbledore (I have a separate rant on why he's not a bad character either but this essay is long enough). He also tries to protect Malfoy this year, yes on both Dumbledore and his mother's orders, but Snape does recognize that he's just a child and shouldn't have to do something like this.

Now. Seventh year. Snape does a lot of really horrible things this year. Yeah, he does them because he needs Voldemort to trust him so he can bring him down, but that doesn't excuse them. I'm not going to unpack all those things here, because this is already really long, but I'm NOT just ignoring them. Actually I think that they're pretty important to his development, and how he loses himself a bit. But let's look at the two moments that really show the good in him.

Number one. He refused to fight McGonagall. This woman has not only been his colleague for many years, she was his TEACHER. He's known her since he was 11. She's witnessed everything he's gone through, every choice he's made, good and bad, and even not knowing all the reasons and details she STILL forgave him. She treated him with respect, as a fellow teacher. She TRUSTED him, and as far as she knows, he betrayed that trust. That HAD to hurt, knowing she thought he was a bad guy. So in his final interaction with her, when she attacks him to keep him from Harry, he doesn't fight. He can't tell her he's on her side, because he still has a job to do, but he just deflects her spells. His refusal to fight her is the last good piece of him, fighting its way out.

The second time was, of course, his final moments with Harry. After everything he's done to him, after the years of abuse and killing Dumbledore in front of his eyes, Harry still feels pain when he realizes Snape is about to die. He still feels the need to talk to Snape in his final moments, to carry out his final request (to take the memories to the pensieve). This is personally one of my favorite Harry moments, because it shows just how good and kind he is, that he even feels pity for a man he hates and doesn't even know why. But let's take a look at Snape. He's literally dying, but his first reaction to seeing Harry is to give him the memories, so he can defeat Voldemort. He is, to the very end, loyal to Dumbledore. And his second thought - his last - is Lily. He asks Harry to look at him, so that he might see Lily's eyes one last time, even if they're not really hers. His last thought on this earth was of her, and if that isn't love, I don't know what the hell is.

The point of all this is, Snape is human. He isn't necessarily a good person, but he isn't necessarily and a bad one either. Even as a child, he was never as kind as Lily, but she made him kinder. The time when he lost his way the most was when she stopped being there to keep him good. He thought she was happy without him, so he didn't think he mattered, and he did some pretty horrible things. People go dark when they think they don't matter. That was the entire reason for Voldemort's thirst for power. And when he realized she was in danger, and there was something he could do, he did it. Immediately. Without hesitation. He joined the good side and risked his life for the chance that Dumbledore would protect her and her family, even knowing that she'd never know what he was doing. He didn't do it to "get the girl." He did it to save the girl, to let her be happy. And when she died anyway, he spent the next 16 years trying to bring Voldemort down, and let's be honest, he probably didn't do it because it was "the right thing." He did it because it was what Lily would've wanted. He did it to honor her memory, and to protect her son. Snape wasn't some creepy stalker who got rejected and turned bitter. He fell in love with his best friend and spent his entire life trying to protect her and keep her happy, and then trying to honor her memory. He was a man entirely motivated by love, and honestly, I don't know what's more beautiful than that.

[isolctions]

...........so let’s finally talk abt what the actual fucking fuck is wrong with ai’rina rue castillo, huh gang? :-)

(everyone go thank @armsdealing & @durcgs beating the anxiety out of me in order to post this info-dump.)

...before we get into things, now’s the part where i establish a warning for triggers to be discussed in this lengthy headcanon post. there’s gonna be some talks of mental illness, slight alcohol abuse, & breaking down topics of familial abuse, mental abuse, religious abuse, emotional manipulation, and elements of non-con. be warned.

a’ight, so look. i’ve hinted in between threads & development that rue had a not-so-fantastic upbringing that impacted how she perceives herself, how she interacts with others, (in terms of her career, at least) and how she views personal relationships, but i didn’t realize how........severely her upbringing messed with her mental health until i started working through how i wanted to plot out rue’s behavior for her next album release. at first, i had the idea that she decided to take more time for herself & sort of distance herself from the public / media circus plaguing her life so that she can create much more authentic music. then i actually listened to the EP that i’m basing her album off of and thought “...oh.” THEN, i looked over old meme responses & old threads / mentions of her family and how she grew up and thought, not for the last time since piecing everything together: “....oh. oh fucking boy.”

so, that horrible realization dawning on me, let’s talk about rue’s childhood.

i wrote a thing like, two years ago almost (that upon looking for last night, i realized i didn’t actually share it w/ anyone but alex in our discord server & only mentioned a portion of it in rue’s moodboard that i made) that talked vaguely about how rue felt growing up. and it’s worth noting that...she’s the middle of ten fucking siblings. and that’s just the brothers & sisters she knew of that stayed with their mother. and on top of that, not all of those siblings are the product of rue’s father, or even rue’s mother for that matter. and it’s also worth noting that rue not only grew up in poverty, but she grew up never having any actual space that had solely been her own, or even an article of clothing that had belonged entirely to her. so naturally, as a young child, rue sort of became torn between starved for attention & wanting someone to pay attention to her (whether that be her older siblings including her in something, whatever teacher they had for the next six months to call on her for something, for her mother to miraculously show up with her unknown father in tow one day, & for literally anyone to be her friend, pls god Notice her!!!) and for people to simply leave her the hell alone. obviously, this carried into adulthood.

and branching off from the whole “lack of space” point i made, rue wound up growing up to become increasingly more private as time went on because she literally cannot remember a single moment where she wasn’t squished between a bunch of people. driving around in their minivan? rue’s packed in the middle of the second row. nowhere to sleep while on the road? rue’s smacked between gigantic older brothers & clingy little siblings. need to use to bathroom? lmao, she better off going outside!!! gotta change clothes? yeah, good luck with that. it was to the point where, when rue got her first period, she was humiliated by it — not because ‘omg, am i a woman now?? wtf is this???’, but because she ruined the one good sheet that she slept on with her sisters & they were super pissed at her and her mother withheld pay from her for weeks. >:/

already, rue grew up never having shit to herself until the record deal. but she also dealt with literally...so much abuse from her mother. rue thought this was the norm growing up, because all of her siblings faced their mother’s wrath at some point & all of them eventually learned to just deal with the shit and do what she says if they wanted to avoid it. they all compartmentalized and repressed to varying degrees. there’s a lot in which rue has repressed so deeply, she doesn’t even remember if it seriously happened or if she was just making it up bc it was so fucking bizarre for a parent to act that way towards their child, lol?? (and this behavior of “i’m just going to do what you say bc i don’t want to deal with whatever bullshit you’re up to if i say no” also carried into business / personal relationships, which is...very Yikes it’s amazing she didn’t get scammed or worse!) 

so sure, people have complimented her for her exceptional manners & her cleanliness & how quiet / polite she is & how amazing her posture is, bc seriously, this girl will never experience back problems in her life bc her posture is so on par. but where rue typically smiles / responds bashfully, she can’t exactly just up and say: “oh, yeah, my mom used to slap the shit out of me ‘til i bruised if i spoke out of turn or talked back, and if i reached for anything in the store or put my elbows on the table she’d slap a ruler against my palms ‘til i got welts, and she’d make me read verses all night without sleep if i did anything wrong and make me straighten up and kneel on rice if i slouched or took a nap in church and humiliated me in public if i so much as looked at someone of the opposite sex on the street n oh, did i mention i also cleaned houses for rich millionaire snobs from ages twelve to sixteen and if they said or did literally anything to me i wasn’t allowed to defend myself?? ya i’m real proper :)”

(and normal ppl will go: “...................what the FUCK is WRONG with you????”)

but oh man, babe, we’re not done yet!!! rue, being the product of both a highly religious and a highly exploitative household...had difficulty when she started reaching puberty & noticing her classmates. plural, because it wasn’t just boys that she began to secretly have crushes on / fantasize abt, sexually or domestically. she also realized, oh shit, that she started looking at girls differently too. and that literally put the fear of god into her heart, bc if her mother ever found out that she was having non-platonic feelings for the girls in her classrooms, she wasn’t going to be pissed. her mom might have actually tried to kill her. or have her exorcised or something. she knew the shit would be severe, and she wanted no fucking parts of her mother or her siblings inserting the church into her personal life, thank u very much! so rue started suppressing her romantic feelings for people to the point where if adult rue receives intimacy, she’s like “...is this allowed? is this not illegal??????” while simultaneously being like “i will be a slut. just this once. as a Treat to teenage me. :>” regardless, rue learned to molotov cocktail literally any emotion or thought she had, bc she was paranoid that it would give her mother a vision.

now, onto the perils of exploitation...she should’ve been used to it really, what with her mother forcing herself & siblings to lure customers into their shop with promises of visions and palm readings and the wonders of the cards and overexerting their abilities. same with housekeeping, like being of service to people was normal! but when seventeen year old rue decided to sign a record deal and break from home, she wasn’t thinking critically about what the fuck all of this would entail. and as described in this headcanon post abt her discography, her early music was the product of allowing people much older & powerful than you to influence your work & manipulate your values. so rue was very much parading around as someone she wasn’t, someone much more confident and badass and self-assured than she really was, and she was so impressionable back then that it literally makes her sick to think back on it now. she calls it her puppy phase and phrases the eagerness to please execs as ‘tongue wagging’. homegirl hardly even knew her name anymore, bc all she was and all she would ever be was rue, the star, the vocal temptress. not ai’rina, the help or ai’rina, the seer, ai’rina, the weak little nobody. but later on, the subtle manipulation was less about decision making & how they wanted her to sound, and more about how they wanted to present the latest trophy star — because after all, she was pretty. people liked her. she sung really well. suitors weren’t too far off into the distant future. so why not kill two birds with one stone by having a high ranking label artist keep tabloids talking by being seen in public with a few heart throbs? surely, there’s no harm in manipulating an eighteen/nineteen year old’s love life! under the guise of improving her social skills & relations with fellow artists and the media and the like, rue gave into the pressures and let herself be taken out on dates & seen at awards shows with a few guys. no big deal. it was only for a night or so, she could handle the attention. then, one night appearances turned into week long appearances. pretending to date for only a month! completely innocent, positive exposure. :)

(adult rue, looking back @ younger rue: you stupid fucking BITCH-)

yeah, so once her label/management realized that she was turning into a hot commodity, they lost no sleep at allowing their nineteen year old artist to be seen ‘dating’ 20-24+ year old men occasionally. and whatever happened after their public appearances were none of their business. plus, she was good at pretending and being arm candy — so rue experienced her first kiss, her first dates, and her first times with people who she’s almost certain hardly remember their time with her, and really only got involved with her for a mutual career boost. very few of them does she actually remember in a positive light, and the ones that were positive, still depress her bc lmao all of it was fake, even if they were really nice & made it less like a chore and more like they actually wanted to be with her!! even fewer of them were actual relationships. meaning, said person asked her out of their own volition, not bc their managers thought it’d be a decent match on camera. it was evil, really, what her old label made of her. (like, she makes funny jokes that her first time having sex was awkward bc she had a vision halfway through that bummed her out but in reality it was just...really more of a transaction that made her feel icky n progressively worse abt herself until it happened more often and now she just doesn’t care anymore. sex is just sex, u know?? everything’s fake. why you gotta make it personal.) this whole fiasco took over the larger part of rue’s career from like, age nineteen to age twenty-two or so, and she suffered dramatically from this because what is even a genuine, authentic relationship at this point? what do u mean you want to get to know me? did ur manager tell you to ask so many damn questions & try to get to know me? obviously you want something from me bc that’s why everyone gets into a relationship or has sex with me, stop confessing feelings for me u fucking loser. >:/

like...rue doesn’t even have friends. outside of her relationship with marcelo / @armsdealing​ (which, AGAIN, i think was initially arranged to promote her song be honest, how fucking IRONIC), rue does not have any personal relationships with anyone. i mean, she likes her latest management team since switching labels...her hair stylist is rly cool & her make up artist is fun to vacation with...she met a few other celebrities at events that she occasionally texts & has dinner with...yeah, she’s basically a pretty hermit. her family is more or less out of the question — the few brothers & sisters she does still have a positive relationship with (like, four of them lol), they don’t see each other in person often / mainly communicate via groupchat and facetime calls when all of them have time. she tried visiting with her mother over the years, but the verbal & emotional abuse/curses placed on her/accusations of being an imp of satan for singing to the public/memories of being forced to perform psychic shows & clean for chump change keeps her from trying to mend that relationship. like, being gaslit by ur mother isn’t really the vibe, u know? and bottom line, rue simply is a very shy and socially stunted individual who does not know how to communicate like a normal human being anymore. hell, her life revolves around pretending for strangers at this point!

now, onto how...all of That ties into her behavior / state of mind during this next album. so, after riding the wave of success from her third album & the circus that came with that. rue sort of had a fucking existential crisis. came out of absolutely nowhere. (not nowhere — one of her brothers called her out of the blue and called her ai’rina and she literally went “who the fuck is that?”) told her label that she was taking some time in between albums bc she was creatively zapped or whatever bullshit excuse she came up with that somehow worked bc this new label was a little more understanding than the last. vacationed for a little, did some hot girl shit, bought a house, tried to see her mother again for whatever reason then got the shit slapped out of her and finally screamed at her to never touch her again unless she wanted to Throw Hands. cried and got drunk abt it. that took six months. bullshat to her label again, dropped like two songs to smooth things over, decided to focus on magic for a little to ground her, started partying with label mates then going home shitfaced & hungover every other morning. that took eight months. dropped one last song, promptly deleted her twitter, tried to write songs again, got a call from her mother and panicked and got drunk. that took a year. vacationed some more, got even drunker, was bed ridden for like three months because holy shit i’m having so many visions and if i see One More Thing my brain is going to explode, couldn’t separate the present from the future for weeks after that, told absolutely no one about that, cried every day & had an identity crisis, dyed her hair to appease the identity crisis goblins. that took a year and a half.

now, she just chilling. dyed her hair again. scaring her siblings halfway to death bc she keeps going on benders & sending cryptic texts abt the visions she’s getting but they’re so incomprehensible that they’re seriously considering moving in to get her fucking shit together. had a vision that she was married with kids and had a two week identity crisis appeased only by moving houses. (she was in a neighborhood with families...too much Drama and visions. turned into a really cool song tho.) started calling herself by her birth name of ai’rina in private. reactivated twitter to send cryptic tweets that her album is coming. working on said album. trying to drink less but kinda failing bc how is one simply supposed to make a highly personal dual album without alcohol??? prbly somewhere crying in marcelo’s lap or smthn. just vibes.

like...i feel like, in my head, the Theme of her project is wrapped up in identity. her relationship with fame and whatnot. trying to coax her childhood self out of its’ shell so that she can function like a normal goddamn person for once and re-establish her values. like, if someone went to any of rue’s residences right now, it’s just songbooks everywhere and wine glasses and her crystals and shit, bc she still has people’s futures to read for money. (yes, she never really got out of that portion of her childhood, but hey it pays.) it was all very confusing to experience at once while in bed at four in the morning & even though i tried organizing and debated on this, it’s still a Lot. which is why i am once again asking for plots that would allow her to dissect all these Things

so yeah. album four otw, with a side of confronting our childhood & facing our traumas!

[jungstruly]

ship your moots with nct ot21?

[Langga anon and 💛anonie, you're here too!!]

Oh dear anon, prepare for a long ass post! It took me almost a day to match my moots with NCT and I'm rambling most of the time. Forgive me :<

Also, forgive me if I forget you! That doesn't mean I love you less, I promise. I may or may not do a part two so that I can fit every people who are dear to me.

[Disclaimer: This is only just for fun and is purely based on my feeling and what I perceive that member would be. All of my ramblings are hypothetical uWu.]

Taeil - @moondustaeil The talent these two people have istg, making them a power couple oh my. Ambs, the sweetest human being who just rolled with my crazy ass. Idk but I can't imagine any mutual who would be great with this man other than you. He respects and adores you like a captain respects the sea (it's a quote i found online, i forgot where but yus, credits to that quote)

Johnny - @espresseo-cafe Warm, these two people are just so warm and I feel like Jai and Johnny have a mature relationship. I can totally see both of you just talking about life in general  at like 2 in the morning over a cup of coffee just because. I can totally see you catching up with Johnny’s playful banter. Ahhhhh, you both feel like home in general <3

Taeyong - @badwithten uwu my precious bean! I ship you with Yongie. The both of you are great with reaching out to people. With that being said, it's nice for him to have someone who can read his emotions without saying it out loud. He may get too busy thinking for the greater good of other people that sometimes make him neglect himself.

Yuta - @lucas-wongs and @lattaeswirl The very talented dancers NSKSKS. I may or may not stalked you both hihi. A couple who dances uGH! I love the fact that you embrace your individuality and you're your own person. You're also independent, making me ship Yuta with you. 

Kun - @mooneylooney1 My lovely Sarah who radiates great mom energy. I mean, you’re caring and responsible and just full of love. I ship you with Kun! I do believe that he’s going to take very good care of you. It’s high time that you would be taken care of. You basically bring the best of each other, having room for self-improvement as you grow together. The both of you would make a great pair! As for @sunshine-jaehyun , I can imagine the both of you adopting some cats ùwú The both of you would be the perfect person to look out for each other. You wouldn't baby tf out of each other that much. I def think that Kun wants the both of you to grow together. He's someone dedicated and consistent all throughout and he expects you to be too (I'm sure you are you soft bby! I love your eyes!!) 

Doyoung - @emvrd and @cupofjae two lovely ate’s, hello! I could talk to the both of you all day tbh. You’ve always looked out for me ever since. Thank you for that :< Okay, enough with the kadramahan ehehe, I ship the both of you with our little bunny prince. Doei has a different way of showing people his love and affection and I feel like the both of you will be very mature and chill when it comes to it. Sure he may tease and play around but he’s def a sensible and a reliable person all in all. Taeyong once said to Doei, “Doyoung-ah, control your face. It’s just a game.” and I feel like you guys will also remind him of that from time to time lmao KSKSK.

Ten - @scissorhands1617 Both of you had a bad bitch with a dash of punk energy HAHAAH but in reality, is the biggest simp out there. You're def someone who can keep up with Ten who's a bit hard to read. You're also open minded and easy to talk to. It's Ten for you and will always be Ten! Sometimes I see him in you nsksks.

Jaehyun - @jae-canikeepyou Ahhh, I can imagine you spending the whole day together, the both of you doing your own thing with some faint old love song playing in the background. No talking, just comfortable silence. I mean, it’ll be nice to have someone who totally understands you and connects with you on a deeper level. Jaehyun’s def the shy type to the point that he’ll come off as awkward. But because of your patient nature, he’ll be much at ease, knowing that there’s no pressure. He loves handwritten letters and I know that you’re the type of person to give him love letters uwu.

Winwin - @jinxouls Ngoc I ship you with Winwin! You can be goofy with each other as well as be serious and be on their A-game when there's a need for it. I feel like the both of you will hit off right away. I only trust winwin when it comes to you nDGSHSH. 

Jungwoo - @eyypeach Actual sweethearts, what a good combo! It's nice for Jungwoo to have someone as sentimental as him and would need . I immediately think of you right away! The fact that you can empathize well with people makes the both of you a great pair. He'll make you happy and you'll make him too as well uwu

Lucas - @neowrld Let's be real here, your whole family will love this big fella! I feel like he'll be interested to know your culture just because he wants to know you better. Istg, he'll be extra af, even learning your mother tongue just because. Xuxi may come of as goofy and funny but I can feel like he needs someone to hold him close as he becomes vulnerable at the end of the day. I can see you being that person. @neocitybynight hey sunny, i think you and xuxi will look cute together uwu you love checking up on people and you just have too much love to give the world uwu uwu and I think Xuxi would love that. That big baby needs the love and care there is in this world :">

Mark - @suhpressed and @celestialchans I would never not stop saying this but the both of you never fail to amaze me. I do believe that both of you are doing your best to become better at your craft. You're hardworking and talented, just like Mark which makes you a good couple since the both of you are passionate with each of your own craft. You push and inspire each other and I think that's beautiful.

Xiaojun - @legendnct Hannah, why do I feel like you’re a very busy person? Like you have a lot of things on your plate and stressed because of college/burnt out from time to time. Xiaojun’s the type of guy who massages your shoulder or temples whenever he senses that you need a break. He’ll give you the space that you want whenever you’re doing uni stuff, probably in the same room as you just letting you study and placing your fave snacks and drinks beside you to remind you to take a break sometimes. He’s clingy when he wants to but respecting you is his number 1 priority.

Hendery - @smolchenle The vibes man ndksjdks (Sabog and sabay, kaloka lmAO) Wouldn’t mind doing the stupidest thing with you . There would be no dull moments together, istg. You’re basically each other’s happy pill aweeee. Oooh hahaha, I can totally imagine you having a disgusted “wtf, dude,” on your face whenever he does something funny only to follow his lead a couple of seconds later. Aside from that, he’s very touchy and affectionate (I mean, have you seen him with his cats? Sana all cat NDKKSKSK Oh wait, sana all Camille yieee!)

Renjun - @jae-ffrey Zen, you’re a year older than me but wow, you are wise and sensible. You’re a great listener as well and I feel like Renjun would enjoy your company. He’s very open minded and isn’t afraid to have fun from time to time, making you complement each other.

Jeno - @nzeeten My cute babies! I want to keep you both in my pocket ugh. Tbh, I get a strong independent woman vibe from you but at the same time, a very huge softie inside. I feel like Jeno’s the type of boyfriend who’s low maintenance in a sense that he won’t be that much needy for attention. It’s like you do you, I do me but it’s nice to know that at the end of the day, you have each other’s arms to come home to. I can imagine how smol you look wearing Jeno’s jacket ahhhh domestic!Jeno + sweet baby Allie is just to pure and soft for this world

Haechan - @bumblebeenct Mimi! My sweet sweet Mimi who always checks up on me and is a literal walking ball of sunshine. Wait, two suns together? Wouldn’t that be a disaster? I like to believe that your patient and motherly side can keep up with that little rascal. You’re also someone he can have fun with, I am sure of that.

Jaemin - @4-sun Jaemin better take good care of you or else! You’re laidback and composed (like Jeno nHSSK) and I can definitely see him taking you out on a photowalk, just walking in your city without any plans and taking photos of different views (expect him to snap a photo of you from time to time uwu) and going to a café after. Also, you’re very generous when it comes to compliments. I can see Jaemin as someone who absolutely loves those things.

Yangyang - @lovelyvitamin The amount of crackhead energy that you two have sends nKSKSKSK. I want you to have someone who understands your amazing humor and listens to your weird and out of the blue stories. Yangyang’s there to top your crazy stories with his and would do everything in his power to make you feel loved, appreciated and happy-- even going an extra mile. You make each other happy and I live for that thought itself!

Chenle - @imaginedreamies I feel like Chenle is going to baby tf out of you plus treats you like a queen, don’t @ me. You push each other to be better versions of yourselves. Like Chenle, I feel like you’re much more of a giver than a taker. It’ll be nice for Chenle to feel the love he gives to other people. 

Jisung - Langga anon! (I lost ur acc huhuhu) Ahhhhh, my two kiddos. I ship you with him bc I highkey imagine the both of you having a cute puppy love romance. Ya know, just being subtle with each other when it comes to expressing your love and affection. Missed u baby! 

[kyovtani]

ASKS

hey babies! i’ve decided to answer the asks about back to life one and two like this because ive received so so so many and you guys blew me away so answering every single one of them is the least i can do to show you guys just how grateful i am. thank you so much for giving both parts SO much love, i love and appreciate you guys and the support you’re constantly sending my way with my whole entire heart <33

BYE THE FIC IS SO GOOD SO FAR. MY ANXIETY THO FROM THE ENDING, LIKE PLS KYO REALIZE THE MCS ANXIETY PLS DONT GO OUT WITH SORA PLEASE PLEASE HE SEEN HOW SHE DIDNT LOOK OKAY WHEN HE CAME IN PLEASE REALIZE HER ANXIETY PLEASE

– THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !! this was the very first ask about back to life and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever! I hc Kyoutani to be rally understanding of things like anxiety and depression, generally mental health so that’s why it was easy for him to understand the reader’s situation and mindset! 

BACK TO LIFE!!!!!!!! MY HEART!!!!!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SO GOOD!!!!! i was really excited when you started posting about it!! i can't wait for part 2, i wanna know how they fix this!

AAAH !! thank you so much for the love and support baby!!!! I really hope you enjoyed part 2 just as much, sending you lots of smooches MWAH

OH MY GOD THE KYO FIC IS AMAZING

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!!! 

OH MY GOD YOUR KYOUTANI FIC HAS ME ACTUALLY FROTHING I LOVE IT SM

IM NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT MY JAW ACTUALLY DROPPED AT THE LAST COUPLE PARAGRAPHS AS WELL I CANT WAIT FOR PART 2

AAAH YOU GUYS !!! this made me so happy !!! thank you so much and I hope part two met your expectations and you enjoyed the ending MWAH!! 

HOLY FUCK THAT KYOUTANI FIC WHEW IT WAS SO SO GOOD IM SO EXCITED FOR PART 2

thank you for the food <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE AND SUPPORT BABY !!!

YOUR KYOTANI FIC AHHHHHHH my heart can’t handle this

I AM SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT BABY !!!

OW THE END ON BACK TO LIFE HURTED THOUGH GDFGHJDFHJRY

Was overwhelmed by the hurty that I forgot to say how much I ADORE your characterization of Kyoutani. fdjkhgjkgdr

THANK YOU SO MUCH !! honestly- that means the world to me, probably the best compliment you can give me :((

Back to life was so good OMG 😳😳 HELLO??? You're amazing

Thank you so much, my love! it honestly is everything to me when you guys tell me such sweet things I love you so much MWAH!!

the new fic did not help me with my insecurities now i’m just frustrated and insecure. great writing tho.

honestly- same. when I wrote this, I lit indulgent every bit of my mind working into this fic and thats why it means so much to me ?? so youre not alone, my love; but thank you so much <33

The way I panicked at the end of the fic thinking there wasn’t gonna be more to it, holy shi that fox was so good I almost cried thinking they were just gonna end things like that 🥺🥺🥺🥺

I’d NEVER end a fic like that- I hate bad endings and cannot stand cliffhangers but the formatting didn't give me another choice im sorry for the heart attack baby kfhflashsj but am glad you liked it!

@au-roraaa said: ZADE I WAS NEVER A KYO FUCKER BUT I THINK YOUVE CONVERTED ME HOLY FUCKSJFJSJDJSN

THIS IS MY JOB AT THIS POINT I WANT YOU ALL TO TURN INTO KYOU FUCKERS KSSSOH 

UR THE BEST WRITER WTF?? WHEN DO U THINK PART TWO WOULD BE UP... and does kyoutani flirt with sora 😣💔

YOU GUYS- NOOO- pls my heart made a loop :(( I love you so much :(( thank you baby and I think now you know what he does with sora MWAH

@kawakuto said: hi hi zade!🤩 (ajdjs idk if you remember me but i moved main blogs and I was @/gukooky before LOL) THE KYOUTANI FIC ANDJWNS I DIDNT EXPECT THE END WAHHHH🥺🥺 it was so well written omg I loved it!! (wtf kyoutani, you said we were going slow what if I wasn’t ready to call u my boyfriend wtffff😔😔 pain.)

AAAAH OFC I DO REMMEBER !! hope youre doing well baby !!! and thank you SO much for your sweet words, I honestly appreciate them so much :((<33

pls I’m in love with your writing. You write kyoutani so well so now I’ll always be grabbing at any crumbs you send my way 🥵

thank you so so so much baby!!!! these kinda words always hit me right at the heart, I appreciate them so much and I love you sm much

bb i love ur kyoutani fic sm :(( ur rlly so talented <33 i look forward to pt 2 ^3^

thank you so much baby, sending a smooch your way mwah 

zade that kyoutani piece im in so much pain why would u do this to me 💔💔💔💔

believe me when I say It hurt me even more than you </3

I just finished reading part 2 and it waS SO GOODAJSFHJLFG you did amazing!! (n˘v˘•)¬

THANK YOU SO MUCH BABY !!!

Hi! New nonnie coming through :) First time I'm writing something because I'm such a nervous wreck but I just had to

THE FIC WAS SO GOOD THE VIBES ARE CHEFS KISS. IT WAS SO GOOD I LITERALLY DROOLED I CAN NOT GET OVER IT !

Mister kyotani pls rail me thanks 🐱

THANK YOU AAAH YOURE SO CUTE !!! I truly appreciate this with my whole entire heart so thank you so much baby, hope you have a good one mwah

Wait did he do anything with Sora?

nope!! they just went to the party together but in my mind he didn’t even hug her and she didn’t try anything else, too, simply bc she knew how in love he is with reader!!

YOUR MINDDDDD!! THE KYOU FIC WAS SOOOO GOOOD!! Omg i hope you do a part 3 😭😭

i have a Little sequel which is really really soft but I'd love to write some more for it! 

@soranihimawari said: Part 1 & 2 with kyoutani was amazing as always Zade! I really liked the ending. This was such a fun read. I was wondering who’s else would be sharing the apartment with Kyoutani. What made you choose tattoo artist Iwa & Oikawa? Those two made me chuckle with the way they came in like that. Hope you have a great day/evening/late night/etc.

✌🏼&💜

—sora—

aaah thank you so so much, baby!! I truly appreciate your sweet words, youre the cutest! regarding your question: You shares an apartment with Iwa, Oikawa and Yahaba (who also works at the tattoo studio!) and i don't know to be really honest- I just like the thought of these three being really good friends so after contemplating whether or not to go with iwaoi or matsuhana, I ended up going with those two dorks! hope you have a good one baby mwah!!

@sakusapetals said: PLEASEE I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH

AAAH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH BABY !!! I LOVE YOU SM 

How long did it take you to write the entire two parts? Like wow that’s alot👁👄👁 i adore long fics though

oooh- hm ?? tbh i don't really know ?? I can’t remember ?? I think it took me about a month or like three weeks since I did write it all in one go yk? it was the only WIP I worked on during that time and it felt SO relieving to publish it! 

AAAHHH the kyou fic was a masterpiece bb!!! ❤️❤️

thank you so so so much baby!!<33

U LITERLALT WRIYE KYOU THE BEST ABSOLUTE BEST. he’s so aggressive and demanding but he still is willing to show someone special his vulnerability. I LOVE READING STUFF ABOUT HIM FROM U

AAAAH thank you so much- you guys have no idea how much these kinda comments mean to me- I love you so MUCH MWAH 

I just read the first part of "back to life" an it had me speechless so many times, almost cried at the end, it's honestly so well written. I'm off to read part two. Have a nice day 🐰

sdoalfsla thank you so much baby! I hope you enjoyed both parts equally as much and thank you for all the love mwah!!<3

Hana is a baddie

SHE IS!! she’s literally the baddest bitch to ever exist ft. saeko ofc but nobody acknowledges it </3

@tonhwa said: I’m in love with the way you write kyoutani pls. Even your previous fics on your old account ( if you don’t mind me mentioning it ) are so fucking amazing. GOSH YOU CHARACTERIZE HIM SO WELL AND THE PLOT IS ALWAYS SO JUICY AND INTERESTING I CANT HELP BUT GO BACK AND READ IT. and then you release this fucking wonderful piece and I feel like it’s my birthday even though it’s already passed LOL ty ily have a wonderful day I’m sobbing tears of happiness

YOU GUYS PLEASE- the fact this made me tear up when I first read it- thank you SO much honestly. knowing you guys enjoy my characterization of my favorite character is honestly everything to me so thank you sm I love you baby have a good one!!<3

I’ve been on this app from high school, and now I’m a college grad. I have to say I’ve never sent a message to anyone I’ve followed. But that tattoo artist! Kyou fic, part 1 and 2 are 😩💕 *chefs kiss* you are one of my favorite writers I’ve ever followed since joining this app. You NEVER disappoint!

-💕 a very satisfied reader

thank you so much baby!! aaah this is honestly so so sweet :(( thank you for taking the time out of your day to send me such a sweet thing, I appreciate it and you so much mwah!!

i gotta say babe THANK YOU FOR THE KYOTANI CONTENT!! muAAAAHH💞💞

NOO THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE MWAH!!!

i love kyoutani and he obvs deserves his dick sucked 🤧🤧 but i catch him posting up with other girls I DONT CARE THE SITUATION he gonna catch these hands for a real one 👊🏼👆🏼🤜🏼🥊🥊 kidding 😐😐😐 he’d body me

pls the way this had me chuckling like crazy bc same sajlskjpw he can get mad all he want but he better stay his pretty ass where he is- by my side  😌

[an-avid-reader]

The Hate U Give - Angie Thomas

my rating: 5/5 stars

On the night of a party gone wrong in Garden Heights, or “the hood”, Starr and her childhood best friend, Khalil, drive away only to be stopped by a white police officer. Khalil, unarmed, gets shot right in front of Starr’s eyes. Alas, Starr’s worlds—Garden Heights and Williamson, a predominantly white prep school—collide as word of Khalil’s death spreads and she is the only witness. Will Starr be able to bring justice to Khalil via riot and protests, or will he be remembered as a drug dealer and a thug?

"Funny how it works with white kids though. It's dope to be black until it's hard to be black"

Link to Goodreads || Spoiler-free review

A few things to check out:

Dear White People (Netflix)

When They See Us (Netflix)

Why I’m No Longer Talking to White People About Race (Book)

A list of places to donate to / one YT video if you’re unable to donate 

Here’s a post that is much more comprehensive

let me know if any of the links don’t work, I will update them :)

There’s a reason why this book has quite a few awards on the front—this book covers what some may consider a “taboo” topic aka racism, but it’s an issue. I’m writing this review slightly earlier than before I’m posting it, but right now the current news is about George Floyd’s death, which is arguably more brutal than what happened in this book, but the fact that some police officers still think race has something to do with one’s intentions is outrageous and disgusting. Even in Canada, there have been instances of racism across history (spoiler: Canada isn’t a ‘saint nation’, even though the population is very diverse). 

For these reasons, I think this book, while it is triggering, I think it should be fit into the curriculum for students to read so that they may be educated on racism, and how it can literally kill others, as well as to try and dismantle the systematic racism that is imposed on us from a young age. I can never sit here and tell you that I can experience what Starr went through (or what any POC—black or otherwise—has ever been through), I can only educate myself and emphasize with what’s been said/done to you—please call me out if I’ve said something that may be offensive and feel free to correct me if I’ve said anything wrong.

Alright now on with the book review! This book is so raw and powerful, Thomas does a great job of describing the scenes and the emotions Starr goes through during each scene. We get to see how she feels about dating a white boy while being black herself, how her neighbourhood is beautiful despite it being described as the hood, we also get to see how Starr’s demeanor completely changes while she’s at school vs when she’s visiting her family. While Thomas’ writing may be simple, she does a great job of capturing those moments and the emotions tied within the scene.

As we get to see Starr becoming a witness and taking legal action, I wasn’t sure where the story was headed. Would Khalil get justice and would the cop go to jail? How would Starr’s mental health be affected? Will her family be okay? (Don’t you just love it when there’s so much more conflict in the story that needs to be resolved and yet there are only 2 chapters left) Etc. etc. The thing about The Hate U Give is that there are multiple story lines, which help to drive the story forwards. Those plotlines didn’t feel out of place or forced—everything seemed to progress at a reasonable pace. 

I feel like one of the key parts of this story are the characters and their dynamics to the story. The most obvious being between Starr and her family. Although Starr has her own secrets that she keeps from her dad (*cough cough* Chris *cough cough*), I feel like they still have a strong bond, especially as the story went on and her dad, Maverick, stood behind Starr, even when things went south. (I could also 100% relate to Starr bickering with her brothers—even her half-brother). Then there’s Chris, which I kinda feel weird about him...which I feel like it’s a spoiler so I’ll talk about it under the cut. Overall, I’m glad that while he doesn’t understand what Starr has been through, he doesn’t judge her—he listens to her story and he also stays by Starr’s side at all times. I appreciate that Thomas didn’t put too much focus on the romance, otherwise I think it would’ve detracted from the main message. Finally, there are Starr friends. Even though we only got to know Khalil for a bit at the beginning, I like that Starr’s friendship with him was sprinkled throughout the story, even if it was in subtle ways. You could tell that, while their friendship may have fallen apart, Starr really cared for him and he was at the forefront of her mind. We also get to see Maya and Haliey’s friendship with Starr...and I can’t talk much about that without spoilers :/ let’s just say...it was interesting…

While I can’t exactly relate to Starr on an emotional/traumatic/life experience level, I love that we are both Harry Potter fans and she runs a Tumblr (which idk why but I’m always taken aback when books have Tumblrs?? Yet here we are). I appreciate that she tries to see the best in people, until they prove her wrong (or give her a reason to not like them). I think Starr is a strong role model in the sense that she stands up for herself and is determined to get justice, although she’s not cocky about it. It’s quite the opposite, she doubts herself—I just remember that there were so many parts where she blamed herself for not recalling every single detail of the incident or not putting emphasis on the type of person Khalil was to avoid him getting stereotyped. Starr also questioned her relationship with Chris, albeit she seemed a bit naive at some points. Because of Starr’s strong personality and her core values, the message of The Hate U Give is so much stronger, hence why I feel like everyone should read this novel.

Finally, I learned a lot from this novel. Regardless of the fact that this is a fictional book, it is very much based on the realities of Black people and the hardships they must endure on a daily basis. To be honest, I feel so dumb for not even realizing that the title spells out THUG and runs parallel with Tupac’s meaning of THUG LIFE. Mind you, now when I look at the cover, it’s all I see. I also didn’t realize that Black kids and teens are taught how to act around the police—all to be avoided to get arrested, shot, or killed—which is frankly, messed up. Thomas also takes the time to address the names she used, intentionally to give another layer of the book, which I feel that it is based on reality. I can definitely see why this book has received so many awards—and if this book were implemented in schools, it would allow the discussion on racism to be opened and it would also allow kids to see that not all authors are white, old men (looking at you, Shakespeare, which tbh the only good play I read was Macbeth).

I wanted to thank you for reading my review; if you’ve read this book, I’d love to know your thoughts. Below the cut, I have a spoiler section that I wanted to include (which I might add in future reviews, idk though). 

Please stay safe and healthy,

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

THE REMAINDER OF THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS

Okay, I’m not going to lie, but I thought that no one knew about Chris; didn’t Starr mention within the first few chapters that she can’t introduce him to her family because she’s afraid of what they’ll say/judge her for dating a white boy? But then, it turns out it’s just her dad that doesn’t know about him??? Idk if my memory is really that bad or if it’s such a slim detail (maybe it actually is an inconsistency o.O). But anyways, I love how Maverick was just playing with him (and making it clear that Chris would be in big trouble if he hurt Starr). I’m also not sure if he has a fetish for Black women (which Starr also pointed that out)—which I don’t know how to feel about that. I know some people have a thing for people of colour (Asians are commonly a fetish too, for example) but then some guys also have a thing for super short girls? Um yeah. I’ll probably leave it at that.

I’m not sure if it was just me, but I deadass thought Seven was going to be a gangbanger. He was sooooo suspicious anytime King was mentioned (which I get King is with Seven’s biological mom, but still I can’t be the only one who was suspicious, right?). I have to give him props though for putting his sisters’ needs before his own and for also listening to Iesha’s point of view. This man doesn’t give on people easily, and that’s a nice change. 

The last thing I wanted to include in this spoiler section is Haliey. I just— wtf man. She perfectly embodies the issue and idk she gave me such Karen vibes. It’s so frustrating that she just accepted the newspaper’s article story at face value—I don’t even think she even took the time to listen to the other point of view. I’m so glad that Starr punched her in the face, even though that resulted in her getting in trouble. And it’s not even towards just Starr that she was racist! When Maya opened up about Haliey’s comments, I was pretty infuriated. I think Haliey’s comments came from a place of ignorance or a lack of education, but it just bothered me that she just brushed it off. Smh “it was just a joke” or “get over it” *rolls eyes* Just apologize, Haliey, and educate yourself, please. Actually, maybe she could take lessons from Mr. Warren, their english teacher because he was lowkey a G. I was pleased to see he was a teacher (who are often seen as role models) that actually gave a crap about Starr and what she was going through. I guess we just need to be more attentive to what people have to say and be more empathetic when they’re hurt.