#if u don't know Just South of Casual is a book I wrote

[luci-cunt]

On this episode of “I’m-nostalgic-and-wouldn’t-rec-anyone-read-my-book-but-some-bits-of-it-are-actually-kind-of-funny-to me-and-I’m-addicted-to-validation” JSoC addition!

[the only context u need is that Ash = mc, she’s depressed but coping barely. Cal = incognito rich kid looking for his “girlfriend.” Aatami = softboy/ Ash’s love interest. Mia = Cal’s “girlfriend.”]

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“The world wasn’t much different now that it had an expiration date.”

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*in an abandoned house* “Uh… you got a name?” I asked, opening the fridge and peeking inside. It was empty, except for a rotting rat. I sighed and closed the fridge.

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“So, where are you from?” I asked, he made a face at me but let it drop to an exhausted one. He’d given up being suspicious when he realized the only reason I was pressuring him about his past was because I was a nosy bitch. 

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“Aye Bee, good to see you again,” he said, I turned and pulled on Cal’s sleeve so he’d follow me. Uncle B gave him a wary once over and Cal just crossed his arms and glared. Uncle B looked back at me and pursed his lips. “That was way too quick for food Ash, and I’m not selling you drugs.” he said, I sighed.

“Fine, Cal, no meth today sorry,” I said, acting disappointed. Uncle B rolled his eyes. 

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I rolled my eyes as I threw another handful of nuts in my mouth and then screwed up my face as I bit into a raisin and spit the whole mouthful out. Cal made a face at me. “You’re so gross,” he muttered.

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Thinking about my mom made me want to do something illegal.

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Cal was too busy making his ‘there-is-one-single-fiber-keeping-the-impulse-to-punch-you-from-happening’ face at me to notice my sudden tenseness.

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“Whatever, I’m hungry, let’s get food,” I said. He narrowed his eyes at me. “You just ate an entire bag of trail mix,” he said, I nodded. “Yeah, but Cal, food is literally the only good thing about the world, you can never have enough,” I said, he rolled his eyes.

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“Chill man, it’s not even three yet, you’ve still got six days to find your Juliet,” I said, he pursed his lips.

“Romeo and Juliet die at the end of that play,” he said, I grinned.

“I’ll be Mercutio and we’ll have almost the full cast, complete with tragically young deaths for all of us.” 

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“So? What’s the verdict Mr. Grinch?” He spared me a glare and leaned back in his seat so he could cross his arms over his chest. “Salad.” “But that’s so boring.” “You’re ordering tamales.” “That’s because they taste good.” “Salad tastes good.” “Yeah, maybe to giraffes.” “Are you calling me a giraffe?” “If you think salads are good then yes.”

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Angry dude was hot.

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“Do you have a deathwish?” “Yes, don’t know how it took you that long to–hello,” I said, seeing Aatami suddenly standing in front of our table.

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Cal had given up glaring at either of us and was now stabbing the vinyl booth seats with a butter knife. He looked at me pointedly between stabs and I pretended not to get the message he was sending.

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“You do? Oh thank god, we’ve been hopping busses for forever,” I said, Cal rolled his eyes. “One bus,” he muttered under his breath. I ignored him.

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“Yeah, she’s a cheerleader and they’re the next Romeo and Juliet,” I said, Cal rolled his eyes, still tapping something on the phone. “Don’t Romeo and Juliet die?” Aatami asked, glancing between me and the road, I smiled brightly. “Tragically,” I said. “Oh.”

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“Good afternoon! How can I help you?” the lady said, she sounded way too peppy, and I heard Cal growl into my shoulder. I think I was the only one who heard it though, it made me smile.

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*about the hotel room Cal paid for* “That’s a lot, Cal,” I whispered. He groaned, dropped his hand, and turned his head back so his forehead was on my shoulder. “I’m not sleeping in a regular cramped stupid room. And I want a big bed, so you better fuck in the bathroom if you’re going to,” he whispered back.

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Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuckfuckfuck fuck. Fuckkkkk.

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*Cal talking while there’s a gun in his face* “Nope, you’ve got the wrong guy,” Cal said again. “You’re really not fooling anyone,” Hans said, anger creeping into his voice. “I’m not trying to, you’ve just got the wrong guy.” “You look exactly like him.” “I get that a lot.” “So you’re saying if I don’t reach into your pocket and pull out your wallet–” “No, no I wouldn’t do that.” “Why?” “I... don’t even have my wallet on me.” “Really?” “Yeah–hey, hey hey hey, no don’t do that–fuck,” I made a mental note to punch Cal in his stupid rich boy face.

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“It’s Robert,” Hans said, and I scrunched up my face. What kind of name was Robert? That’s not even evil sounding at all.

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*Aatami, high on pain meds after being shot* “Are you guys ok–? Stupid question, don’t answer that. I mean, what happened–? No wait, stupider question. Hey, Ash can you drive? I don’t think I can right now. Or should, oh my god you guys were both so badass. Wow my head's spinning, I’m going to go sit in the car now–” Aatami rambled as he patted both Cal and I down. “Are you guys ok? No wait, I already asked that, ok I’m going to lie down now,” Aatami said.

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“You’re going to need to lose the pants so I can see whatever’s bleeding,” the nurse said. She glanced between us, Cal jumped off the table and pried his arm out of my hand. “Nope! Not happening, I don’t want to see your ass, I’m out,” Cal said, he rushed out.

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“You’re the stupidest person I’ve ever met,” Cal said, I smiled. “I think you’re pretty cool too,” I said.

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“Ash?” Cal asked, looking over at me. “Where the fuck are we?” he asked. “I don’t know, where’s Aatami?” I answered and he gave me a look. “How the fuck would I know that?” he growled and I glared at him. “Fuck you, I was just asking.” “I just woke up!” “So did I!”

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I was balancing so precariously on the edge of whatever self control I had, and one more word from Rose-Count was going to send me flying into de-dicking territory.

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“You can cook? I thought that was just something for the poor and needy,” I said, Cal glared at me. “You would know.”

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“Morning,” Aatami said, I laughed again and he laughed with me. “I drooled on your shirt,” I said, my voice sounded muffled by Aatami, and he laughed again. “I know I can feel it,” he said. “Gross,” Cal muttered.

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*Cal handing Ash a plate of pancakes* It was stacked with pancakes covered in blueberries and syrup with a huge commercial looking pad of butter on top. I started drooling. “You’re losing your edge,” I said, Cal glared and stabbed a fork into the top of my stack and then a knife through the butter pad. I raised a brow and he walked out of the kitchen. “Fuck off,” he said, bumping Aatami’s shoulder on the way out

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“But this is Hotel-Holdup Chique,” I said, he rolled his eyes. “It’s Homicidal-Vagrant Mystic,” Cal said, “And someone’s going to call the cops on you.”

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The shower in this house was fancy. It had one of those waterfall shower heads I’d only ever seen rich people fuck under on TV.

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“I need chocolate,” I said, and took another stabilizing breath, “and maybe some alcohol,” I added after a moment. “Koda’s coming,” Cal reminded me, I nodded and walked into the kitchen. “Exactly.”

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“I’m glad we met,” I said quietly, Cal’s expression didn’t change, and he held my stare. “Don’t expect me to suck your face, I’m not that good of a friend and not nearly straight enough,” Cal said. I laughed and he took a step forward and we hugged. Cal was a lot shorter than Aatami, and I didn’t have to stand on my toes to hug him. “But I’m glad we met too,” he said in my ear. I smiled and squeezed him again. “The idea of making out with you makes me want to throw up,” I said, we both laughed. “I’m glad,” he said as we pulled apart.

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Waking up in a trunk is the worst way to wake up.

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STREETSMARTS.

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“23% chance the world ends in ten minutes,” I said with a laugh. “It’s like the worst New Year’s party ever,” Uncle B said with a smile. “Meh,” Cal said with a noncommittal shrug.

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“Michelangelo who?” Cal said sarcastically, and Mia cocked his head to try and tell what it was, before blushing furiously as he realized. “Look Mia, we have fan art,” Cal said, holding the picture up to a completely red Mia. “Why?” Mia managed, and Cal laughed.

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laksdjflaksdjf;j sorry this is so long