#if u cant tell we r very silly and funny and shit

[dooodle-bug]

Hey guys so I've been working on this funny project with my bf and a couple other goobers and it would be really awesome and cool if u could check it out!!! 🤯👉👈

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[toadstool32]

darlingpost darling post get out while u still can

this is my ososan self insert darling! not their real name they get named a la homestuck aka they need a name and so thats what we call this guy

visual arts student in their last year, no gender unless its funny, always wear comfy or flowy clothes that hide the chest (SHRODINGERS BOOBS?? ((they r flat theyre like a ken doll, )))

le ref sheet

IN MY HEAD darling was like photocopying some doujin pages they were working on (for fun) at some store bc their printer broke or wathevs and then fucked up and suddenlly all the papers are scattered everywhere!!! noooo the gay porn!!! and karamatsu is like oh hang on let me help u with those my good sir (darling is dressed like a mess here) and darling is so fucking embarrassed but still goes like ummm thank uuu??? and karamatsu is like of course! no need to thank me!! karmatsu matsuno!!!<introduces himself here and darling is like waaaa he so nice and doesnt think im a freak for LITERALLY PRINTING GAY PORN IN PUBLIC WHAT THE FUCK anyway they do small talk with like ah yes great work here get home safe dont lose those papers again yes sir yes sir!!

karamatsu goes on with his life but darling is like waaa he was so nice i wanna be friends or something but idk if i will everrr find him again siiighhh. buut like one week later darling is all dressed up on theyr way to the city museum bc they help out there for school credit (is that a thing in japan idk this is me playing with dolls) but still have some time to kill to get there and on the way they see karamatsu in the distance and darling is like oh! i can say hi!! so they go but bc they r dressed more cutesy now karamatsu immediately starts doing his bit before darling even says hi hes like: "AH YES OUR FATED MEETING WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!! YES IVE BEEN SEEING U IN MY DREAMS AND MAY IT BE FATE THAT HAS BROUGHT U TOGETHER¿ RIGHT NOW MY **DARLING**!!" or something like that and darling is an idiot so they go "OMG HE REMEMBERS ME FROM LAST TIME! AND HE WANTS ME TO KEEP HIM COMPANY!! OR SOMETHING IM NOT SURE WHATS HE TALKING ABOUT!" point is darling doesn't ask for his name cause they already know it and karamatsu quite literally just names them darling and then they go on a not date to the museum cause i say so

dont get me wrong i ship them but also theyre both so fail at this bc darling is an airhead and karamatsu is....karamatsu

they would be the kind of ship that starts dating without knowing which i find funny bc karamatsu would make a big deal out of asking darling out and darling would be like oh as a friend right and would miss every romance cue ever but then when darling would be like hey are we dating and karamatsuu would be like *dies from both exasperation and relief* and then darling would be too concerned about getting him to the hospital and forgets about the dating part im hjust having fun here

darling tag with silly stuff

ANYWAY darlin n karamatsu are besties darling likes hearing him talk bc its funny and they compliment him on his spakly stuff n music even tho darling knows shit abt music and karamatsu hangs around trying to cheerlead darling on stuff and darling does the same, idiot to idiot communication,

ALSO darling cant see very well n they make a very goofy lights r on nobodys home face whenever they dont wear their glasses and confuse the matsus constantly at the start probably lol,

like after hanging out a bit darling probably sees totty in the city and they go OMGG KARAMACHAN U DIDNT TELL ME U WERE GOnna be in the city we could hang out and ur dressed in pink if i wore my pink cardigan we could maaatch and then realizes, they fucked up and totty is like KARAMACCHAN WHO, but totty was like, with friends and the girls are like omg totty who is this and darling is like TOTTY WHO, and his friends rope darling into hanging out bc darling straight up glomped totty there and they r never living that down ever.

and then todomatsu confronts karamatsu like DO YOU KNOW THIS GIRL and karamatsu is like ah thats darling and totty is like DIE?? anyway they get along fine n totty calls them dari-chan i think darling also gets along with osomatsu darling draws him silly stuff on request n sometimes tries to play with jyushimatsu (dies) ichi probs thinks darling has something wrong in the head to hang out w karamatsu (they do) and choromatsu is like perpetually confused, no one uses the same set of pronouns for darling which creates confusion at the start

darling is technically a nickname (and an overly cutesy one too!) so darling gets named that way by karamatsu at the start so they go oh i guess we r besties for life now and so they go like ok so i need a cutesy nickname for him so they do that and with totty darling fucks up introducing themself to him so they end up being dari-chan to him as a way to make an even more cutesy name out of an already cute nickname i just think thats funny

uuu what else what else, picky eater of the eats meat variety, short, cant see, tummy hurts, lightweight but doesnt care, this is literally me bro, this post is already so fucking long idk what else more, im just playing with dolls man

[atlas-the-bastard]

I don't usually post non fandom art on here but I'm pretty proud of this :33

these r two characters my best friend and I made for a VERY COOL webcomic we're in the process of creating - mavis (redhead) and her currently unnamed girlfriend because we needed side characters and I felt like she deserved a sapphic relationship 😌

i did use a reference for the pose/clothes but it turned out way better than I was expecting??? kind of insane??

anyway if you want more deets about the characters uhh under the cut bc I want to tell people about this so bad😭

SO (and may I just say thankyou for clicking see more cant believe people want to KNOW about my SILLY LITTLE GUYS)

Mavis (full name mavis nic coitir) is the bassist of a 5 person band in a world pretty much the same as our own except there's monsters n magic n people have powers n shit. dont think about it too hard the world building isn't designed for scrutiny.

Mavis' "power"/ability is mostly that she's just freakishly smart. she's the tech junkie of the group, the gadget girl, all that jazz - and also the biggest pop culture nerd ever. she's also the mom friend, she had adhd, she's 20 years old, Irish, and born on the 10th of february. she's a total loser and also the coolest person you'll ever meet.

she has a shit ton of awesome body mods/cyborgy stuff (which I didn't draw because I didnt feel like it💀), including a prosthetic arm - all of which she made herself.

she (like all of our other characters) is an amalgamation of a bunch of different traits and tropes we thought would be funny or cool, and also because I cant keep my sticky fingers out of anything, is losely inspired by one piece characters (namely franky and nami) - again, like most of our other characters💀

i, being a faggot, needed to give her a girlfriend and my friend said "sure :D". I thought it would be funny if she, being the loser ever, somehow pulled like. a beautiful celebrity or actress. and I think the idea in my head has now kind of morphed into like...a really cool artist/content creator who lives in their city and who everyone knows...so like microcelebrity...but still a celebrity to mavis's band mates. I havent yet run this past my friend, but I'm thinking some flavour of blasian for the gf.

also these aren't their actual outfits I just drew the clothes that were on the reference cos it was easier and also I think I am a lot better at drawing clothing folds now so win win. for the record mavis normally wears like an oversized band/pop culture tshirt and some old cargo pants/overalls.

anyway yeah that's mavis :DDD

(If u wanna know the other 4 band members are Soren Fayez , the seemingly cool calm collected popular girl who is actually a total ditz, and plays violin; Dante (full name Durante Alaric Hunter Dio Galloridge), the vampire vocalist and sometimes keyboardist with big dick energy and chaotic bisexuality; Calvin Smith, drummer and the most normal guy ever - completely trauma and angst free and the himbo ever; and Evan(geline) Mori, guitarist and the black cat to cal's golden retriever, bursting with childhood trauma and a Midwestern emo musical influence. Evan and Cal are in love with each other but Evan is too angsty to do anything and Cal doesn't waste time doing things like using his single braincell to pick up on Evan's faggotry that to anyone else except the two of them is more unsubtle than a giraffe in a swimming pool.)

[matoitech]

sometimes i go on twitter, rarely, bcuz it makes me mad always, and its shocking i still 2 this day occassionally seeing those posts that r like ‘ppl having dif opinions than u in Fandom abt ur fave characters arent wrong we need to respect everyones opinions :(’ and that isnt an IMMEDIATE red flag for ppl. bcuz for me it immediately makes me think of like, a recycled version of when it was more common to see, for example, ppl throw fits abt lgbt ppl telling them characters were gay but they were desperate to stick by their ‘interpretation’ despite it being Blatantly Wrong, and its rly obvious its just the same thing but typically w other stuff now like characters being trans or disabled or whatever. it still happens w gay chars for sure (god theres a lot of dif homophobia w gay characters), its just more common to see cis gay ppl being the ones to throw fits now (’this char is canon gay and anyone who disagrees is obv stupid. but i cant relate to them being disabled so im gonna pretend like thats up to interpretation and disabled ppl getting mad at me is them just being mean to me for silly reasons’). i think its funny when i see ppl whine abt it on twitter bcuz like, rly the only ppl who make whole posts abt ‘respecting Other Opinions in Fandom’ is when theyre being bigoted. bcuz like. i think we all know the only ppl who r rly invested in ‘fandom’ r the ppl who dont have bad experiences which is a Very limited number of ppl. who r not having Bad Experiences bcuz theyre not the ones being targeted or upset by ppl being bigoted/gross, bcuz it doesnt affect them. 

also typically if u have a specific grievance of bigotry abt how the f*ndom acts abt ur fave character like unfortunately common shit in fandoms in particular like racism, homophobia/transphobia, ableism, etc, ur just gonna talk abt it, ur not gonna make some vague post abt ‘respecting ppls interpretations’ which immediately translates in my brain as ‘im throwing a fit bcuz i think i am personally directly targeted and attacked by trans ppl making fun of cis ppl like me who want this character to be cis and get freaked out by them being trans which totally isnt transphobia its just my Interpretation :(’

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom, season 3, episodes 7-13 thoughts! cannot believe im finishing this series so fast. ...cannot believe it ended like that...uh. one of the weirdest finales to a show I think I've seen, it really stood out against the rest of the series, and not in a good way, in my opinion. I paused to yell in caps lock...several times, I think, out of anger... BUT. ANYWAY, HERE WE GO.

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-the fentons putting the kids to Work in the lab, with NO SAFETY GEAR. AT ALL. THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL AND ARE TIRED!!! and when jack asked how danny his day was and danny tried to say it was bad jack cut him off :( for the 400th time, i am stealing these kids.

-maddie and jack IMMEDIATELY SELLING THEIR LAB AND WORK FOR A LOT OF MONEY. and danny cant get into the portal anymore, oh no!!! he could always just steal vlads I Guess.

-THEY ARE VLADS NEW NEIGHBOR. OH MY GOD. this is a sitcom format. a butler came with the new mansion. i would absolutely try a kiwi fudge milkshake, why is the butler disgusted.

-the..guys in white bought the lab to shoot a missile. into the ghost zone thru the portal. bro i hate these guys

-jazz straight up setting her new bedroom up in the library. i am very very jealous

-"RATED E, FOR ENTRAILS"

-I like how the 14 year olds very quickly realize if the giw destroy the ghost zone itll destroy OUR ZONE because its just. like. the other side of the quarter so to speak. and the giw, a fully funded government agency, didnt consider that...(or worse, are willing to risk that anyway...)

-a...graphic novel version of the constitution? what in the world have you been READING SAM

-'cool, I always wanted to be called a meddling kid!' scooby doo reference...

-can they keep the butler. I love him.

-ecto latte....I also want to try that. is ectoplasm edible...

-YESS I KNEW DANNY WOULD USE VLAD'S PORTAL. vindicated.

-DANNY WHY DIDNT YOU JUST ASK JOHNNY NICELY. STEALING HIS BIKE IS SO SO RUDE.

-youngblood is also into astronaut stuff, thats really cute. and him being like 'phantom, dude!! :D' ALL EXCITED. THATS ADORABLE.

-the slapstick comedy of the giw slipping and falling and running into shit in the lab. is funny, but also, because this lab has NOOO safety codes in practice. god its a wonder dannys the only one to have died here...

-JOHNNY, SKULKER AND YOUNGBLOOD HELPING DANNY!!! I keep saying it but the other ghosts helping him. is my fav thing in the world. and, it's a really good thing the missile in the real world was harmless...otherwise the fentons wouldn't have had a home/lab to come back to...

-WULF WANTED POSTER!!! we havent seen wulfy in so long :( very funny the box ghost is offended by how much these ghosts are wanted for. first off, what do ghosts even DO WITH MONEY. does the ghost zone have its own currency??? what are ghosts BUYING

-the box ghost is So Funny, im so glad hes still got his bubble wrap. u are VERY wanted in THIS house box ghost. you are SO scary king. dont give up on ur dreams

-this needs to be a meme format. I made a transparent version, very very messily, for future use.

-this is a Fellow and a Friend

-box ghost accidentally bringing lunch for everyone, and giving people at the mall free shoes. SHOES ARE SO EXPENSIVE, ID BE SO GRATEFUL. helpful king. i feel SO bad for him lmao, he's putting in SO much effort. he wants the evil aesthetic So bad but hes Just Too Silly. I understand your plight, box ghost....

-oh my god. pandoras BOX. 'THOSE OF US IN THE BOX TRADE' HOW MANY ARE IN THIS BOX TRADE. I WANT IN. pandora is a multi-armed ghost goddess and i love her.

-SKULKER WHY ARE YOU RUNNING FROM THE EVIL UNICORN?? YOURE A HUNTER!! JUST SHOOT IT!!!!!!! JUST HUNT IT!!!

-box ghost...where did you get the cowboy hat. I respect it, i just want to know

-JAZZ COMING IN WITH THE BAZOOKA TO FIGHT THE 10 HEADED DRAGON!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! and the rest of the fentons I Guess

-ignoring the sam/danny moments. I simple do not see them.

-...why doesnt danny just fly over the maze. or do the whole 'real world people act as ghosts in the ghost zone' and turn back!!! I know its just to show off the ghost greek monster designs. but STILL.

-danny being like. um. hi pandora. i found your box. >< polite...PANDORA IS SO GIANT. GIANT GHOST WOMAN. SHES GOING TO BEAT BOX GHOSTS ASS. another ghost thats nice to danny to add to the list :) and HER FORCING BOX GHOST TO APOLOGIZE. and having sandwiches with danny after making box ghost clean up. I LOVE HER.

-DANNYS 'BEWARE' AT THE END JAKHDJFKN

-okay, when dash pulled out danny's seat and was calling him buddy, for half a second I was like 'this is a prank, hes gonna pull it back' BUT THEN FRIGHT KNIGHT MY BELOVED IS BACK. AND EVERYONE STARTS CHANTING FOR DANNY TO BEAT HIS ASS WITH GHOST POWERS AND DANNY DOES WAY TOO EASILY, and im like, yup, this is a dream LMAO

-danny is getting an A+ in science :) my smart son

-DANNY WAKING UP FROM THE DREAM RIGHT BEFORE KISSING SAM AND BEING LIKE 'that was a dream...no, a NIGHTMARE!' same. not to be a hater but, shouldve been val. maybe I am a hater

-...danny running and checking the 'tapes'...why is his whole house constantly being recorded. hes been in ghost form/fights plenty of times in his house. does he have to run and wipe the tapes after?? every single time?? god

-letting this image speak for itself

-this is SO cursed

-NOCTURN'S DESIGN FUCKS SO HARD. the Venice mask vibes. also his space pattern not moving while the rest of his animation does is big chowder vibes. but this guy is basically the sandman but Evil, huh. I love dream plots. also, nocturn's design feels very similar to clockwork, like, red eyes and a scar over the same eye, but also just the purple, and the Cosmic Vibes. I want to see them fight. anyway nocturn's va was also avatar roku AND alfred in several batman cartoons.

-the 'sleepwalkers' designs were super cute in shape (kinda remind me of oogie boogie! pillow-cased shaped, which is appropriate for the 'king of dreams's minions) until I looked closer at their eyes. why do they look sewn shut!! (they open their eyes a few times, so they aren't, but they look like it...)

-I like how this show has been pretty consistent (with a few exceptions) about a Ghost Being Huge (or getting larger) = Very Powerful

-2 months of summer camping??? wtf, do camping things usually take that long?? I've never been to a camping...thing like that. but isnt that basically their entire summer??

-'the entirety of nature is your bathroom!' and thats why I do no camping despite loving nature LMAO.

-sam, at least TRY TO BE NICE TO THE OTHER GIRLS YOU'RE GOING TO BE SHARING A CABIN WITH. also, the amount of times people in this show have their SHOES ON THE BED!!! IM DISGUSTED

-swamp creature Is A Ghost. Big Foot is a Ghost. starting to think in this universe, every single cryptid or legend is a Ghost Actually

-paulina crying not only because star is missing, but because SHE FORGOT HER SUNBLOCK AND SHE BURNS SO EASILY!!!! okay girlfriends

-ghost cops are the real monsters at the camp. i.......I mean. fair. no one missed you walker

-WULF!!!!!!!!!!! WULF IS BACK!!!!!!!! MY FRIEND WULF :D MI AMAS VIN!!!!! kaj danny lernis Esperanto :)

-'relax kid, we arent here to do any harm' *immediately shoots danny* yeah. ghost cops. and also danny bringing walker 'wulf' and walker IMMEDIATELY SUCKING DANNY IN A THERMOS. FUCK OFF

-haha walker Bald. and haha walker Frozen Now

-the fenton thermos can...reverse its polarity to close portals? okay

-LIBERA MIA AMIKO. :")

-ohhh they end the ep with them star gazing, thats pretty cute...

-dani is back! ...with a new voice actress? wiki says AnnaSophia was in 3 diff movies in 2007 when this aired, so she was probably too busy... (including, bridge to terabithia aka the movie that ripped my heart out that I mentioned in the first ep Dani was in...kinda wanna rewatch it now)

-shes still scared of vlad, who's still being creepy and spying on her. 'shes hardly going to come home to daddy!' I WONDER WHY. also does vlad's cat look more evil than last time? love the concept of him going shopping for cats and being like 'give me your most EVILEST looking cat, please, so I can pet it in my spinny chair dramatically!' ...oh god white cat hair on his black suit. I have a black cat and her hair is still way too noticeable..

-vlad has a big 'valerie' button in his office. can he be pressing that button every episode, thanks

-'theres a GIRL called dani phantom?' yeah valerie. no relation, obviously, even with her looking EXACTLY like danny. so sad valerie just wants to help her dad and her get out of the place theyre in now and vlad using her. ill MAUL HIM

-dani having to STEAL FOOD. :( and valerie immediately being like oh poor kid :(( and trying to help her!!! and then dani immediately helping valerie!! this episode is starting SO well

-...and then valerie catching her. DAMN IT. and being surprised dani knew danny?? HELLO VALERIE I KNOW YOURE SMARTER THAN THIS. I AM SO SORRY THEY WROTE YOU THIS WAY. I STILL LOVE AND BELIEVE IN U !!!

-valerie lying her ASS off for a chance at gettin danny. ok <3 also 'they couldnt catch a ghost if it was living under their own roof' JSDHKJHNK

-danny. why dont you just tell valerie!! this would be so much easier if he was direct. there is NO way valerie would hurt danny (fenton) she'd be HORRIFIED. esp since she got on board helping dani!!

*is held* :)

-look at valerie and danny. flying together. about to go beat vlads ass together <333

-DANI SCREAMING AS VLAD IS MELTING HER. WHAT THE FUCCCK

-...fucking vlad convincing valerie hes a good dude with his stupid duplication. FUCK. DANNY JUST TELL H E R

-jesus christ how many times has danny had to watch loved ones die. even if she didnt stay perma-dead. glad they fixed her...

-valerie and dani pranking danny when he came out, oh :( cute...them havin fun and laughing together...babies

-BUT THEYRE JUST LETTING DANI LEAVE, AGAIN??? SHE WAS PREVIOUSLY STEALING FOOD. CHRIST GIVE HER A PLACE TO LIVE. OR A FAMILY. actually, I think it'd be really cute if, since danny isnt ready to out himself, dani went and lived with valerie?? dunno if her dad would have the money but,, it'd be a cute concept. big sis valerie...

-'tomorrow, it's game on!' 'and ill be ready to play!' THE FLIRTING....DANNY/VALERIE REAL

-oh my god,, valerie found out about vlad in the end. But he doesn’t know she knows!!! the DRAMA!!! HOLY SHIT THAT ENDING.

-this episode was. SO Much and probably one of my favorites out of s3. (I mean, there has been a gross lack of valerie this whole season, so thats not a hard choice to make...)

-FINALE EPISODE TIME.

-the title screen looks different! so no title card...

-vlad has his own fucked up satellite that looks like him?? okay. why does the animation look so different?? are they mixing cg in?? for what. anyway, vlad and the gang in SPACE. danny is 100% living his astronaut dreams rn

-'defeating frostbite' YOU BETTER NOT HAVE. YOU STOLE HIS COOL MAP. FUCK YOU VLAD

-wait oh my god. vlad is the final series boss, isn't he. I half expected a fake out, for another boss to show up midway, and for him to finally have to have a real truce with danny for this ep. ITS THE FINALE. VLAD FEELS SO UNDERWHELMING.

-And it's like-- his character isn't bad, i just feel like..he has more potential! they WANT him to seem like some smart super evil genius, but the way he's written makes that SO hard to believe...but the solid backstory and design is THERE and its FRUSTRATING.

-...DANNY CALLING VLAD OUT SAYING HE NEEDS THERAPY LMAOO THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING.

-my grandpa technus is in the finale too :) 'well look on the bright side, at least im not downloading them illegally!' he says while stealing dvds. feels like hes calling me out. im watching this series on a bootleg website lmao. anyway, him turning the tech into a transformer. love that

-mASters BLASters sTOp diSAsterS shut the fuck up. you will never be valerie or danny. bite chomp kill. violence

-like this if u crie everytiem

-my god the 3d/cgi mixed in looks SO BAD IT DIDNT AGE WELL AT ALL

-the white stripe in dannys hair kinda rules tho. did he just KILL HIS GHOST HALF??? 'revert his human half back to normal' UM. you ever unkill yourself. why are his friends/jazz so mad about it, he'll be in a lot less danger!! christ. they can still hunt ghosts!! as humans!! if they want to!! hes 14 if he wanted to be normal. let him. vlads stupid little team has things COVERED apparently. why are they acting like this. jazz would never act like this. is this fake whats going ON

-oh my god jack was in a college band. vlad was also in the band. what did instruments they play. i didnt need that headline to tell me they sucked, but i want to KNOW MORE REGARDLESS

-valerie was here for 0.3 seconds.

-sam calling danny selfish. the audacity. no one is stopping YOU from hunting ghosts, girl. valerie does it!!

-I'm halfway through the episode and incredibly underwhelmed so far.

-why would they send jack and 3 teens to space to destroy the asteroid. why not professional astronauts. not even the 3 teens that have already been to space this episode...

-jack getting beat up by teenagers. ON TV. IN SPACE. I GUESS. I GUESS EVERYONE AGREED TO SEND JACK BECAUSE..VLAD SAID SO? we know it was to embarrass jack, but why would everyone agree. why didnt any other space program Do More or whatever, they sent like, 3 rockets/missiles tops?? no way

-danny attempting to punch vlad in the face. i WISH HE WOULDVE LANDED THAT HIT.

-vlad outed himself on live tv, on purpose? and BLASTED AT THE TEENAGERS HE HIRED. LMAO. HES HOLDING THE WORLD HOSTAGE, MAKING THEM PAY HIM BILLIONS TO STOP THE STUPID ASTROID. THATS YOUR GRAND PLAN??? REALLY. REALLY. im like. lmfao

-jack just now, on the last episode GETTING TOLD HE MADE VLAD A GHOST. THIS SHOULDVE HAPPENED WAY SOONER. jack's reaction was one of the only times in this entire show hes seemed human. 'an old friend? no. you? yes.' GET HIS ASSSS ACTUALLY. HE STRAIGHT UP LEFT VLAD IN SPACE. GOD DAMN. that is a Murder! I mean, I guess vlad could fly back to earth, but...I mean, he'll have to, right? no food in space. (that we KNOW of...)

-'thE WHolE EArtH, INTangiBLe?!' oh my god.

-...the white strand of hair somehow still had ghost dna, I guess, and getting blasted turned him back into phantom. I GUESS. I GUESS.

-the fentons being the first to clap for danny despite not knowing hes phantom...that was sweet. and very sudden character development, not at all gradual over the course of time or episodes like it probably should have been...

-sam and danny kissing. IT SHOULDVE BEEN VALERIE, BUT OKAY, I GUESS. also, its a little underwhelming, considering theyve kissed already...

-ALL of the ghosts being ready to beat danny's ass? really. no they wouldn't, they've worked together before, and some of those ghosts are friendly!! cringe. why is the last ep written like this. I mean they came thru at the last minute but. was really cringing for a minute there, why did they write it like that

-valerie is there for another 0.3 seconds! ....she should've been more involved. dani is also there! for also like 0.3 seconds. almost fast enough to miss. (btw, I think shes still homeless at this point, are, we going to...do ANYTHING ABOUT THAT IN THE LAST 5 MINS OF THE SHOW)

-the cgi smoke or whatever it is. this whole post is me saying the cgi is bad, but IT IS.

-'danny or should we say. DAAANNNNY.' this is like the 3rd or 4th time hes been outed damn, but to the whole world, again. and valerie saw, and is just. an extra in the bg clapping. bro im so mad.

-TUCKER IS THE NEW MAYOR? WHAT THE FUCK?? HES 14.

-i think. this is still linked to the dream ep a few times ago. hes still dreaming. this is a plot a 14 year old would write. this feels like a bad fanfic. so much got rushed, and not tied up. vlad wasnt really even the villain this episode, a fucking. non-being asteroid was.

-they kiss again. ok. sure. whatever at this point.

-VLAD IS NOW A FREE-ROAMING SPACE NOMAD. I GUESS. THATS. SURE. WHATEVER. THE END, I GUESS. cannot believe I'm saying this, but: they did vlad dirty.

-IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HIM A VILLAIN, MAKE HIM A VILLAIN!!! DON'T MAKE IT A METEOR!!! STOP BEING WISHY WASHY WHO WANTS TO SEE DANNY VS ASTEROID!!! I didnt even WANT vlad to be the final villain because his character is SO back and forth (esp this season.) but he has done some FUCKED UP SHIT AND I WANTED THE WRITERS TO DOUBLE DOWN, PERSONALLY, IF THEY HAD TO MAKE HIM THE FINAL BOSS. the cabin ep where he basically held danny and maddie hostage? FUCKED. THE DANI THING? FUCKED. FUCKING COMMIT AND MAKE HIM ACTUALLY SCARY OR HAVE HIM FUCK OFF AND AGREE TO A TRUCE!! WHAT IS THIS DYING IN SPACE NONSENSE. (and, he will (fully) die out there, right? still half human, still needs food and water. I imagine he'll like, slowly half-die but this time his human side is dying. will he come back 100% ghost? we dONT KNOW. WE DONT GET TO SEE, ITS PLAYED LIKE SOME FUNNY THING AT THE END, THEN THATS IT!!! WHAT!!!)

-I don't know how to articulate how FRUSTRATING THAT IS. having him basically out himself and ''hold the world hostage'' does not track at all in my brain. like. he's always been scary because he is HUMAN, TOO. like, if he was 100% ghost, he'd be LESS scary, but vlad MASTERS has more power and influence than vlad PLASMIUS because of his position as mayor, his money, too, and his (supposed, s3 made me doubt it) intelligence/manipulation skills, and his being in good graces with jack made it HARD FOR DANNY. him outing himself for,, money and to 'control the world' i guess?? MONEY WAS NEVER HIS LIKE, MAIN GOAL. yeah obv he likes money and is materialistic and values his Rich Life, but hes got billions, the end goal? 1. getting maddie (and or danny as his son, but to me he always treated that as secondary) 2. ruining jack. this feels like they wanted to say 'oh he just wants POWER' which is. HMM?? OKAY?? obv he /does/ want power (usually over certain ppl, tho), but seeing him try to get it like this FELT WEIRD SOMEHOW. weird like the ep where he tried and failed to take over various historical civilizations, because like,, how is that realistically going to do anything for him?? just, being in that time forever and never seeing maddie aka Goal #1 again?? HELLO??? this was like that, but worse

-this was such a weird ending to an entire show. why did season 3 only have 13 episodes?? why did it feel so weirdly paced?? WHY WAS THE ENDING LIKE THAT. I think. I am going to pretend I did not see that. fucked up, dudes. I'm like...hm. I shouldn't have watched that because now I'm mad. valerie sweetie im SO sorry you shouldve been more present. it felt like..if they knew this season was going to be short, and the last season, they should've spent more time wrapping up EVERYONE'S plot lines for the entire season. imagine how cool it wouldve been if every single ep of season 3 was working towards something, a big, nice wrap up at the end, with nothing feeling TOO rushed because they'd been heading towards the End for the whole season....

I will probably end up writing a follow up full series thoughts post. In a couple of days so I can sit with my thoughts. BUT. overall, I really liked the show! (ignoring the finale and some of the moments that aged pretty poorly...) it was charming and a fun concept and very fun to watch in general :) and I am pretending the finale didnt happen <3 and I’m gonna dive RIGHT into the dp tags and mix fanart and posts in my queue, very excited to run and look at that 🏃🏻 (and, of course, make more fanart myself hehe >:3)

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :( 

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

[tayegi]

Revenge is a Dish Best Served... Hot? (m)

When your roommate keeps you up late at night with her noisy rendezvous with male overnight guests, you and Seokjin team up to plot your revenge...  How? With a taste of her own medicine, of course. 

Dedicated to my roommate :”) ily, but please let me sleep.... 

Warning: Seokjin smut

Word Count: 17,051 

*********************************************************************************

Your heart stops in your chest when you walk in through the door of your apartment after a long day at lab—to find your roommate snuggling with a strange man you’ve never seen before on the couch. They look up at the sight of you and casually hold up their hands in greeting, but your roommate doesn’t even bother to move from where she’s practically lying in the stranger’s lap.

“You’re back from lab late,” Lei calls out to you.

You cautiously set your bag on the counter and think through your words before responding, “Yes… and I have to wake up tomorrow at six in the morning to set up an experiment.”

“Aw, you poor thing,” she offhandedly comments before turning back to her new male companion.

You remain standing in the foyer for a few moments, staring at the way she snuggles back into his embrace without a second thought. But neither of them notice your heated glare, and you have no choice but to moodily march into your bedroom… the one located directly next to the living room in which they currently occupy… with the very couch they sit on pressed against the wall of your room, your bed mere concrete inches from their canoodling… Luckily they aren’t having sex this time.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Normally, you are completely cool with your roommate having visitors over. Boyfriends, dates, one-night stands, whatever. You’ve had your fair share of hookups in the past, and it’s not your right to judge… when these hookups take place in the privacy of one’s own bedroom, that is. But your roommate has this strange preference for canoodling in your shared spaces…

And with only a thin wall to separate you from them, you can hear them as clearly as if they were standing right before you. You groan as you hastily change for bed and dive for your earplugs. But of course, it’s useless. You can still hear the high-pitched squeal of your roommate’s giggles through the spongey material. And with each passing second, the anger in the pit of your stomach heats until it reaches its boiling point.

Jin!!! You angrily text your best friend, in lieu of stomping out in the living room and giving the inconsiderate couple a piece of your mind like you’d really like to, She’s doing it again!!!!

Like always, it only takes him a minute to respond, Lei?

Yah. Who else? Ugh, im going fucking crazy!!!

What guy is it this time? The one who grunts like a pig during sex or the one who asked to borrow a pair of your socks?

Neither! It’s a new guy :( 

Just tell them to shut the fuck up.

Akljslkfjsdkflsk

Srsly, ___. Just do it.

>.< ur no help! Forget it.

Want me to come over and do it for u?

N.O. trust me, Jin, that’s the last thing id ever want.

Y? bc u cant stand to see me saving ur ass again?

No, bc ud only make things worse w/ that scary face of yours.

Not my fault ur blind and cant appreciate beauty.

U look like a mean alpaca

Wut??? Y u lyin? Bitch, im beautiful and u know it!

Whatever. ur no help. Now ill just suffer through the rest of the night listening to their gross scream laughing.

Wanna sleep over instead?

Nah, u live super far away. Just forget it. Maybe I can try to shove two pairs of earplugs in D:

U need 2 just grow a pair and deal with this problem instead of avoiding it.

Asjdflklsdfk maybe one day…

Aite, coward. But don’t turn to me crying.

… why are we even friends again?

Bc no one else likes you.

Jin, r u saying u like me…?;)

No. I tolerate u. plz don’t go putting words in my mouth.

Ya ya whatever. love u too, baby <3

Istg if u call me that one more time…

Goodnight, baby 😘 😘 😘

…goodnight

You smile fondly at that last message. Why is Kim Seokjin such a tsundere? Pretending that he doesn’t care for you, when you know that he probably sees you as a little sister to him. But he’s not Jin if he’s not cold and aloof. Shaking your head in amusement, you place your phone down and lie down on the bed with a smile on your face.

You’re not sure what higher power allowed you to befriend someone like Kim Seokjin years ago in college, but you thank that unknown deity on a regular basis. You don’t know how you’d survive the stress of grad school without Jin’s snarky, dramatic, mostly unwarranted comments every day. Just thinking of your best friend is relaxing enough to put you to sleep and within minutes, you feel your exhausted mind drifting off… Until—

“HEHEHEHEHE, you’re so funny!”

Lei’s high-pitched giggling instantly slams you back into full consciousness. You lay there, staring up at the ceiling in defeat, before flopping over to muffle a scream in your pillow. Fuck your life…

*********************************************************************************

“What are you still doing?” Jin groans as he watches you type furiously at your kitchen table.

“Sorry, I just need a few more minutes,” you say as you hastily type another line of code.

“I thought you wanted to grab food!” he exclaims, “Why are you like this?”

“Shh,” you shush him, “Go stare at your reflection in the back of my laptop and shut up.”

Jin sighs dramatically, “I think it’s very irresponsible for a full grown adult woman like yourself to demand that someone drives her to lunch, only to stand them up.”

“Relax, I’m not standing you up,” you mumble as you hastily delete your line of code and reconsider it, “I just need another second to rerun these analyses… And no one told you to pick me up! I could’ve just taken the subway.”

“And get mugged again?” he snorts, “Like I’m going to let that happen. I can’t deal with that again.”

You shoot him a wry glare, “Not everyone can drive around in their fancy little cars, Mr. Rich Kid.”

“Psht. You’re the one who chose to be a broke ass grad student. Who would willingly want to be a student for another four years?!”

“Six years,” you quietly correct him.

“Six years?! Okay, that settles it. You’re officially insane.”

“At least I enjoy it! You’re the one who sold your soul to the corporate overlords and have to suffer through that boring financial… wait what do you do again?”

“How do you know nothing about me?! Investment—”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Can you come take a look at my analyses?”

“Oh my god… I knew there was a reason you wanted me over,” Jin says with a good-natured sigh as he scoots over to peer at your laptop screen, “Your silly overeducated mind can’t handle a bit of math.”

You scowl at him as you show him the output of your analyses, “Just tell me if this is right or not…”

“What’s the magic word?” he chimes in a singsong voice.

“Sweet cheeks?” you offer.

He immediately scowls, “Forget it. Do your own damn analyses.”

“I didn’t mean that!” You exclaim, clinging onto his sleeve before he can walk away, “I’m sorry, dearest Jin! You are as rich in intelligence as you are in beauty! Please bless me with that sexy brain of yours!”

His lips twitch at your exaggerated words, but to your relief, he concedes, “Fine,” he sighs dramatically, “But only because you asked so nicely.”

You feel the urge to retort back, but you stifle it down in order to show him your output screen, “Please look this over and let me know where I fucked up…”

“What a noble man I am, helping you with the most basic math,” he’s as dramatic as always as he pulls your laptop towards him.

“Yes, my savior!” you pretend to swoon.

Jin actually cracks a smile at that, and opens his mouth to respond, but at that moment, two bodies come crashing in through the front door. Your gut twists in annoyance when you identify the intertwined bodies as Lei and her new man aggressively making out in the doorway.

At least they have the decency to briefly separate when they realize that there is company in the apartment, “Oh, hey guys,” Lei greets the two of you.

Both of you hesitantly wave back. Normally, she would spend longer chatting with the two of you (or flirting with Jin, more like), but this time, she is too engrossed with her new friend. As soon as she finishes greeting you, she reattaches her lips to her male companion’s, and they messily stumble onto the couch to make out more.

You stare at them with a disgusted look on your face, before you quickly catch yourself and politely clear your throat, “So, Jin, what do you think about my analyses?” He doesn’t respond, so you poke him after a second, “Jin?”

“Sorry, what?” he says, forcibly tearing himself from the stomach-turning spectacle, “I can’t concentrate when I’m literally on the verge of vomiting.”

You quickly shush him, horrified that your new guests on the couch might hear his offensive words, “Don’t be like this! It’s a beautiful and natural part of life!”

He ignores you, “Is this the shit you have to deal with on a daily basis?” Jin asks you in horror.

You wince, “Pretty much…”

“Damn… Ok, I’m gonna go beat them both up for you. This is unacceptable.”

“No!” you hurriedly grab his hand before he can follow through on his threat, “Come on, let’s just leave. Aren’t you hungry?”

“___, you seriously can’t keep running away from confrontation!”

“I know, but—ugh!” Frustrated, you shut your laptop and tighten your grip on his hand to forcibly drag him out of the apartment, “Lei, I’m leaving!” You call out before you step outside, but of course, she doesn’t even notice.

As soon as you shut the front door behind you, you whirl around in the hallway to face Jin, “I know that this is gross and really inconsiderate, but what can I do?”

“Just tell her to fucking stop,” he says, his solution as simple and blunt as always.

“I wish I could! But you know that her mother’s the landowner of this apartment complex. I’m paying barely half the rent of what a nice two-bedroom apartment like this downtown should go for! I can’t afford to piss her off!”

“That’s such bullshit,” Jin growls, “You can’t just let her get away with everything she wants because she can hold this over your head. Move out. Hell, if you need somewhere to stay, you can crash with me.”

“Ugh, it’s really not that simple. That’s not a permanent solution.”

“Neither is just letting her get away with this without any consequences for the rest of your life.”

“Yeah, I know… I just need to think of a better approach…”

“Fine. If you won’t talk to her, then get back at her.”

That makes you pause, “Wait… what?”

“Two can play that game,” he explains, “How is it fair that she can be so inconsiderate and rude fooling around with guys in your shared living space? So you should do it too. And she’d be a complete hypocrite if she found fault in it.”

“I…” you blink as you try to think it through, “Wait… that’s not such a bad idea, actually…”

“Of course it isn’t,” he says at once, “I’m a genius, after all.”

“No, you’re really stupid,” you absentmindedly inform him as you mull over his suggestion, “Wait… no, I think this actually could work, Jin! Wow, I just need to find a man to fool around with in front of her! This is exciting!” You exclaim, beaming at this point.

“Yes, exactly. Give her a taste of her own medicine. She probably lacks the basic empathy to understand how gross this is. So you need to let her know how it feels.”

“Ok,” you grin, “I think I will, thanks Jin! I’ll call Jung Hoseok tonight and ask if he wants to come over.”

“Wait—Jung Hoseok?” Jin asks with a wrinkle of his nose, “Are you really going to go down that route again?”

“Sure, why not? I mean, he’s the ultimate fuckboi, and I would never date him, but that’s not what I want from him tonight, now is it? And I think Hobi would always be down for a hookup with no strings attached.”

Still, Jin clicks his tongue in disapproval, “That seems excessive and rather dangerous for this ploy, ___.”

“Dangerous?” You repeat in surprise, “How so?”

But he only ignores you, “Why do you actually have to hook up with someone for real? Why can’t you just fake it?”

Your brow furrows in confusion, “Fake it? How would I fake it on my own? Do you want me to pretend to masturbate or something, you pervert?!”

He cringes at the very thought, “No way, you nasty. I was just saying that I’ll help you act it out in front of her.”

“You? Really? Why would you do something like that?” you ask, shocked by the very thought.

He shrugs, “Why not? It’ll be fun. You know I’d love nothing more than to get back at that gross, overly touchy roommate of yours.”

You pull a face of sympathy when you remember all the unwarranted flirting and excessive skinship Lei had subjected Jin to over the years you’ve lived with her. “But she knows we’re friends. She’ll never believe that we’re hooking up.”

“Why not? I’m hot. Of course you’d want to fuck me.”

You glare at him, but don’t have the energy to discipline him for once, “But why would you want to fuck me? That’s the unbelievable part!”

“Why not?” he says in a flippant tone, “I’m hot and horny, you’ve got tits, we’ve been friends for years, and things just fell together. Boom, done. Now let’s go get omelets.”

“Seokjin, they’ve long stopped serving breakfast.”

“Damn it, woman!” he exclaims, “I told you to hurry up!”

You can’t help but grin at that, “Guess we’re just going to have to eat fried chicken again!”

He shoots you a glare, “Again?”

You beam back, “Yup!”

*********************************************************************************

“Ok, she’s supposed to come back from the grocery store any minute now,” you hiss at Jin that next weekend, when you finally find the time to put your plan into action.

“Alright, what should I do?” he asks as he flops down on the couch next to you.

“Hmm… I’m not sure,” you say as you awkwardly swing your legs over his.

He easily lifts your legs and drags them over his lap, “Should I take off my shirt?” he asks, fingers already fidgeting with the top button.

“No!” You exclaim, sitting up to grab his hands, “What’s wrong with you?!”

“Oh please,” he says with a roll of his eyes, “You know you want to see it.”

“No, I don’t,” you snap back, and for good measure, you pull up the front of his shirt to cover him up to the neck, “Keep that nasty shit to yourself.”

“How is she ever going to believe that we’re fucking?” he sighs.

You pull your legs off of his lap, “I knew I should’ve just called Hoseok,” you groan.

“No, we can make this work,” he says, suddenly leaning down to lay on top of you, hands pressed into the cushions on either side of your face to keep from crushing you, “Isn’t this better?”

But you flush at his close proximity. Whenever you think that you’ve finally gotten used to his impossibly handsome face, he proves you wrong. And lying on top of you like this, with his face inches away from yours… You can see every detail of his face from the sharp angles of his jaw, to the intensity of his dark gaze, and the fullness of his pink lips. Flustered, you squeeze your eyes shut, and blindly fumble out of his grip.

“No, it’s not!” You exclaim as you shove him off of you.

He looks at you, surprised by your dramatic reaction, “What’s wrong with you?”

“N-nothing! I just… I want to be on top instead!” You practically shout as you push him on his back.

Confused, Jin nevertheless complies, “Alright, fine. Whatever floats your boat, you crazy woman.”

You sigh deeply. He’s a lot less threatening now that he’s on his back with his lips far away from yours, and you find yourself finally able to relax. Until you realize that you need to climb onto his body. “I just don’t want Lei to get the wrong impression,” you mutter as you awkwardly shuffle around on the couch, looking for the best position, “Can’t let her think that you’re the one in charge here.”

Jin snorts, but nevertheless crosses his arms behind his head and watches you make your approach under half-lidded eyes, “Whatever helps you sleep at night, babe. Now climb on up.”

Your face nearly explodes with heat from his casual use of the pet name. “You’re so annoying,” you grumble under your breath as you swing a leg over his waist. But it feels ten times more awkward to straddle him, and you quickly scramble up to hover above his stomach instead, avoiding his crotch like the plague. There’s a moment of uncomfortable silence. Then—

“Is this normally how you hook up with guys, ___?” Jin asks as he cranes up his head to try to look at you.

You scowl down at him, “Are you questioning my methods?”

“Yup. Stop being so damn awkward and sit down on me already.”

You flush at his word choice, “J-Jin, I—”

But he grows impatient with your hesitance and takes it upon himself to grab you by the hips and yank you down on him so that you straddle him around the hips, making you sit directly on his—

“Jin!” You yell out in indignation, your face as hot as a furnace at this point as you grab at his vast shoulders for balance.

That smug bastard is as unfazed as always, “What?” he says with a cock of an eyebrow.

You tighten your grip on his shoulders, “Nothing,” you spit out, “You’re just really… skinny,” you say, dragging your nails down his torso as a punishment.

He snorts in response and grabs your hands to flatten against his chest, “Does it feel like I’m just skinny?” he says as he forces you to feel the hardness of his pecs.

“Yes,” you growl, “You bony ass bitch.”

His face scrunches into a scowl and he opens his mouth to offer you an undoubtedly biting retort, but at the moment, the front door swings open.

“Hey, ___, I’m back. How are—AH! What is that?” Lei squeals when she realizes that you’re lying on top of a man, “Wait, is that Kim Seokjin?!”

Your best friend awkwardly pops his head out, “Hi.”

“Oh my fucking god… Are you guys hooking up?!”

“…Uh…Yes?”

Jin winces at your robotic answer and tries to make up for it by smoothing a hand up your thigh, making you jump in surprise, “It’s been like a year now,” he informs her, “Where have you been?”

Lei just shakes her head as she puts down her grocery bags on the ground, “I should’ve known. You guys were always too close to just be friends.”

But that comment makes you frown, “What do you mean by that?”

Jin slaps a hand over your mouth, effectively shutting you up before you can question her further, “Just shut up while we’re still ahead,” he growls into your ear, “And fool around with me.”

“What are you talking about?!” you hiss back, alarmed.

Instead of responding, he splays a large hand across your lower back and shoves you flush against him. It takes everything in your power to keep from squealing out in surprise, but when Jin unexpectedly bites down on your earlobe, you can’t help the squeak from bursting out.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” he whispers in your ear, “Can’t you moan like a normal person?”

“I-I’m sorry? I just wasn’t expecting—eep!” you squeal again when he presses a kiss to the sensitive skin under your chin.

He pulls back with a sigh, “Why are you acting like this? You’re the one who wanted to cause a scene, didn’t you?”

“Yes, I did, but I—” You stop there, embarrassed. How can you explain that you were expecting to just roll around, faking it? How naïve could you be?

Jin sighs again, “Fine, you can suck on my neck instead,” he says, craning his head upward to allow you access.

You pause at that, gazing down at the sight before you with wide eyes. Here is the most attractive man you have ever seen in your entire life, laid out before you like a seven-course meal, just waiting for you to have a taste. Your mouth waters, and if not for your crippling embarrassment, you might have dived right in to eat him whole. But this is your best friend… your platonic best friend who has never seen you as a woman. He’s just doing this as a favor to you, and you won’t allow yourself take advantage of the situation and enjoy this too much…

Easier said than done.

The moment you lean your face down, his masculine scent overwhelms you, making you lightheaded at once. You silently say a prayer in your mind, then lean down to press your lips against his neck. It’s a dry kiss—just a peck of your lips to his skin, but it still makes shivers slide down your back. How many times have you imagined touching him like this? Back in the budding years of your friendship during college, this was all you could think about. It would drive you insane, fighting back your urges to touch him, and staying awake at night stewing over your jealousies of his new fling of the week. It can’t be healthy opening this door again, when you’ve been doing so well keeping non-platonic thoughts of your friend out of your mind for so long… But how can you resist?

When Jin makes no sound of protest, you grow bolder, greedily parting your lips, and before you can second-guess yourself, you flick your tongue over his pulse point. There’s a beat of silence, where you realize what you’ve done and crippling embarrassment fills you. You’re just about to sit up and beg for forgiveness, when Jin does something very unexpected. He weaves a hand through your hair and pushes your head closer.

“Jin,” you whisper against his neck, shocked by the action.

He simply hums in response, “Keep going.”

Your heart is fluttering like a little bird in its cage as you silently obey. As though intoxicated, you can’t help but plant a series of open-mouthed kisses across the expanse of his neck, admiring the way his muscles flex as he twists his head to allow you room. But when you graze your teeth across a prominent vein, he suddenly groans.

“Do that again.”

The low, rumbly quality of his voice makes shivers wrack your body as you jump to do as he says. You gently sink your teeth into a patch of skin under his ear and soothe over the bite marks with your tongue until he groans again. You know that the sounds are probably for show—to feign pleasure to your snooping roommate, but you can’t help the way they send heat straight to your core.

Another few seconds of this, and Jin begins to shift from underneath you, presumably from discomfort. Instantly feeling guilty for sitting on him so heavily, you spring up to relieve him of your weight. But you’re a bit fuzzy with arousal and miscalculate your movements, unintentionally sliding down on him further… until your thigh rams into a strange hardness in the left leg of his jeans… wait could that be—?

“Ugh, how long are you two going to continue doing that?!” Lei’s shrill voice breaks you from your reverie.

You spring away from Jin as though burned, “Wh-what?” your voice is trembling, but you can’t help it.

Lei glowers at you from across the room, “I am trying to make dinner here.”

As though completely unperturbed by what had just occurred on the couch, Jin smoothly answers for you, “What’s wrong, Lei?” he asks with a perfectly arched brow, “Does this bother you?”

She glares back, “Not at all,” she spits through gritted teeth. “You know what? I’ll just eat out.” And with that, she snatches her purse off the counter and marches out the door.

You flinch as the door slams after her. Then you turn to stare at Jin with wide eyes, “Oh my god… I can’t believe that actually worked.”

He chuckles, “I told you it would, didn’t I?”

You laugh along with him, even as you peel yourself off his body and slide to the floor, “Thanks, Jin. She actually believed it! Now she’ll think before hooking up with a guy in our common space again!”

“Great. Just let me know if you need my help again,” he says as he rises to his feet.

“Wait, are you going somewhere?” you ask in confusion as you watch him pick up his phone from the coffee table and slip it into his pocket.

“Yeah, I have work in the morning. I should go home and prepare.”

“But I thought we were going to get dinner after this?”

“Next time,” he says as he makes his way to the door.

You’re a bit stung by his cold rejection. He doesn’t even have the decency to look at you as he blows off your dinner plans. Normally, you’d scold him for this kind of behavior, but this time, you’re a bit relieved that he’s leaving after such an awkward encounter.

“Ok. I’ll text you?”

“Yeah. See you later,” and without a second glance, he walks straight out of your apartment.

As soon as the door closes behind him, you collapse into an undignified pile on the ground, groaning weakly and clutching at your still pounding heart. What the hell had happened back there?!

*********************************************************************************

Unfortunately, it becomes apparent over the next week that your ploy with Jin did not work at all. Lei brings home a new guy less than three days after your romp on the couch, and to your utmost dismay, they go at it all night long. You’re basically a walking zombie the next day at school, horrifying your lab mates by the way you hog the French press throughout the entire day.

By the time you finally leave lab that evening, you’d like nothing more than to just faceplant in bed hibernate for about a decade. You trudge into your apartment complex, let yourself in through the front door, and nearly jump out of your skin in surprise at the sight of Kim Seokjin chilling on the couch.

“AHH! You scared me!” You exclaim, clutching your heart in fear, “How did you get in here?!”

“Your doorman recognized me and let me in the building,” Jin informs you, completely unfazed by your dramatic reaction.

“Oh… that makes sense… Wait, no! How did you get into my apartment?!”

“I have a spare key.”

“Oh…” You say, blinking at the realization. Then—“Wait, what?! How do you have a spare key?!”

“Your mom gave me one.”

“She did what?!”

“Shh. Keep your voice down. You’re so noisy,” he says with a wince. “I wouldn’t have had to barge in here if you would just pick up your phone… Why are you so late?”

“Late for what? …Oh shit. We were supposed to have dinner tonight, weren’t we?!” Wide-eyed, you dive for your phone, and sure enough, there are three missed calls, all from Jin. “I’m sorry, I don’t have service on the subway.”

He scoffs, “I could’ve just picked you up from lab.”

You hastily shake your head at the very thought of it, “Seriously, it’s not a big deal…”

“Fine… what do you want to eat?”

You hesitate, “Jin… it’s always nice to eat out with you… but maybe it’d be nicer to get take out?”

He squints at you in suspicion, “What’s up with you?”

Damn! How did he see through you so quickly? You widen your eyes, trying to play innocent, “Nothing! I just… wouldn’t this be more convenient?”

Still, he scrutinizes you from head to toe with those sharp eyes of his, “Why are you saying this? And why do you look so terrible? Do you have manuscript deadlines again?”

“No, that’s not it,” you quickly say, not wanting to worry him.

“Midterms? Bad meeting with your advisor?”

“No, no. None of those. Seriously, don’t worry. I just didn’t sleep well last night and I’m kinda tired.”

He leans forward so far that his nose nearly brushes you, making you instinctively jump back in surprise, “It’s Lei again, isn’t it?”

You freeze at that, like a deer caught in the headlights, “N-no?”

But he sees through you like you’re transparent, “Ugh, so our scheme didn’t work?”

You awkwardly drop your eyes to your feet as vivid memories of what had transpired between the two of you in this very room come flashing back, “No, I don’t think so… But hey at least we tried, right?”

You don’t have to look up to know that he’s boiling with anger, “Hell no!” he curses, “Are you seriously going to let that asshole get away with it? No, we’re just going to have to think bigger!” He dramatically declares.

“Jin…”

“Trust me, ___we’ll make her regret messing around with you like this.”

“Ok…” you warily agree, “If you say so…” but you can’t shake the excitement that bubbles in your chest at the thought of what he has in store for you.

*********************************************************************************

The next day, you find yourself propped up on the kitchen counter with Jin standing between your legs.

“When is Lei coming home?” he asks as he casually rubs his large hands over your thighs.

But you’re too distracted by the feeling of his warm palms on your bare skin that you can’t think, let alone respond. Why did you choose to wear shorts today, of all days…?

“___?” he says your name in confusion when you take too long to respond.

You jerk your head up in surprise, “Y-yes?”

He frowns at your strange behavior, “Your roommate… Lei. When is she coming back?”

“I… um…” you blink hazily at him, too mesmerized by the beauty of his perfectly symmetrical features up close to process his words, “What?”

He raises an eyebrow, and tries to ask the question for the third time, when there’s the sound of a key in the lock. “Hurry and kiss me.”

“W-what?!”

But at that moment, he reaches forward to cup your face in both hands and presses his lips against yours. The door slides open, and Lei curses at what she finds in the kitchen, but you barely notice. You’re too fully engrossed in the heady sensation of Jin’s silken lips sliding against your own.

“Hi guys, I’m home!” Lei practically yells to catch your attention.

Jin pecks your lips one more time before he pulls away to flash her a displeased look over his shoulder, “Hey.” And with that, he leans in to kiss you again.

Normally, you’d be embarrassed by this public display of affection, especially with your best friend of the last half-decade. But you can’t process anything other than the fact that the most beautiful man on planet earth is kissing you… finally. Never in a million years would you have ever predicted such a thing.

“What are you doing?” Jin whispers to you between long, languid kisses, “Kiss me back.”

That makes you realize that you’ve been completely still this whole time, unable to move one inch from fear as you passively accept his kisses. Tentatively, you begin to move your lips against his, but as soon as you reciprocate, Jin suddenly freezes. For a moment, you’re terrified that you’ve offended him somehow. Are you a terrible kisser? Do you disgust him?

But less than half a second passes before he emits a sound from the back of his throat that sounds suspiciously like a moan, then deepens the kiss. Surprised by the action, your hand instinctively flattens against his chest, but you’re unsure if this is to push him back or urge him closer. Jin interprets it as the latter and steps forward until he’s flush against you, forcing you to feel the hard lines of his body.

You must be possessed. There’s no other way to explain it. Why else would you take it upon yourself to explore the firmness of his torso with interest? It is completely unlike you to boldly slip your hands under his thin t-shirt and grope at the tight muscles of his stomach like a fucking pervert.

To make matters worse, Jin doesn’t provide an ounce of resistance as he eagerly arches into your touch and slides his hand from your face to grab at your hips instead. Then, he suddenly grabs at your thighs, forcing them to lock around his waist. And that’s when you feel it again. The strange hardness in his jeans that you felt a week ago during that incident on the couch. And there is no fucking way of mistaking it this time: Kim Seokjin is aroused. He has a fucking boner that you caused. What the fuck is happening?!

At that realization, heady arousal slams into you with the force of a sledgehammer. All you can think about is grinding against his erection. You want to touch him, kiss him, feel him all over. But most of all, you just want to make him feel good. It’s more than a desire at this point, but a raw need. At this point, you are so drunk off the sensations of his hard body pressed against yours and his sinful tongue sliding down your throat that you almost do something very stupid. Your hands dart to his belt, tingling with the need to touch him—

But the hard slam of a door makes you break away from him with a little yelp.

“You guys are fucking disgusting,” Lei mutters under her breath as she escapes to her bedroom.

There’s a brief moment of disoriented tension between you and Jin where all that can be heard in the kitchen is your heavy pants. But then he steps away from you, leaving you cold from the lack of contact.

“Jin…” you whisper in a small voice, “Wh-what was that?”

Despite his harsh breathing, your best friend seems relatively unaffected by what had just transpired between the two of you. He nonchalantly shrugs, “What do you mean?”

You stare at him for a moment, but the sight of his flustered appearance, with his full lips swollen by your kisses and his cheeks tinged a rosy shade of pink, only makes the voracious desire in the pit of your stomach flare with need. You tear your eyes away, “I… I don’t know. I think… I think we may have taken that too far.”

“Whatever. It worked, right?” his tone is unexpectedly cold as he responds.

You glance up in surprise before lowering your gaze again, “Yeah… but what just happened… um… should we talk about it?”

“What’s there to talk about?” he snaps, “We took it too far, right? We’re just friends, right?”

“Right…” you hesitantly reply, wondering what you’ve said to piss him off so much, “Just friends… nothing else… It’s not like we’re attracted to each other or anything crazy like that…” you say, praying that he’ll object to that obvious lie. The burning erection in his pants is undeniable proof otherwise.

He snorts, making you look up in hopeful surprise, “Don’t you even try lying to my face.”

“…Jin?”

“There’s no way you’re not attracted to me, so don’t even try with that bullshit.”

That was not what you were expecting at all. Angered by his arrogance, you flash him the deadliest glare that you can muster, “You’re so full of yourself, Kim Seokjin. Do you really think that every girl in this universe wants to hop on that dick?”

“Of course not,” he smoothly says, “but you clearly do.”

“How is your head so fucking big?” you snap, horrified by how spot-on he is with that assessment. “And look who’s talking: you were hard as a rock, asshole.”

Jin’s eyes pop open, as though shocked that you’ve noticed. “Yeah, so what?” he spits back, even as he awkwardly hovers both hands over his crotch area, “I’m human, of course I’m gonna pop a boner if someone’s fondling me in such a perverse way! Don’t think you’re special.”

Your face heats at the insult, “Really? So you weren’t attracted to me at all? You would’ve just popped a boner for anyone?”

“Yeah, exactly,” he says with a glare, “It’s just like masturbating, isn’t it? Being touched feels good.”

“Great,” you growl, “Well you can go take care of that yourself, dickface.”

“Or you could do it for me.”

That makes you stop in your tracks, “Wh-what?”

He rolls his eyes at your dramatic response, “Don’t get any ideas in that simple little mind of yours. It’ll just feel a bit better than my own hand.”

Anger flares in your chest from his condescending tone, and before you know what you’re doing, you’ve reached over to grab him roughly through the pants. “Does this feel just a bit better than your own hand?” you mock him as you massage his erection with both hands.

Jin licks his swollen bottom lip before shooting you a glare relatively devoid of any real anger, “Barely.”

Your eyes flash, and then you’re reaching into his pants to grab his bare cock. This time, Jin can’t help his instinctive reaction to your touch, doubling over as though he’d been punched, “___!”

You ignore him to squeeze what you can of his length in the restrictive confines of his pants. “Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll stop.”

His eyes dart to yours, “Don’t you fucking dare do that or I swear to god, ___.”

You resist a shiver at the sound of his uncharacteristically deep voice that’s dropped an entire octave with arousal. Drunk on his reactions, you would happily obey, but a new thought pops in your mind about how the two of you aren’t alone. You pause and try to remove your hand from inside his pants, but Jin quickly grabs your wrist, fearful that you might leave him hanging, “Lei could come out and see us,” you remind him in a hushed voice.

He relaxes slightly at that, “Then we’ll go into your room,” And without waiting for a response, he drags you in that direction.

He practically bursts into your bedroom and kicks the door shut behind him. You blush at the sight of your messy, unmade bed, but Jin gives zero fucks as he eagerly sprawls across your sheets and yanks at his belt. As you watch him, you can’t help but feel a bit of trepidation. This is your best friend of half a decade. If you cross this line, you might as well be flushing years of friendship down the toilet. What are you doing right now?

But at that moment, Jin finally gets his belt undone and yanks down his pants and boxers without a second thought, his hard dick instantly bouncing up to slap against his stomach. As soon as your eyes land on his throbbing length, you’re done for. All thoughts about the ethics of this situation drop from your mind as you crawl onto the bed after him, eyes fixated on his bare cock and practically salivating at the sight.

Jin watches you from under hooded lids, seemingly nonchalant as he lays back against your headboards, hands propped behind his head, but when you grab him in your warm hand again, his entire body spasms.

You can’t get over the feeling of him in your hand, so hard and big, yet velvety-soft to the touch. And the way he keeps twitching, as though trying to jump closer to the heat of your hand, is intoxicating.

You gently squeeze him from base to tip, marveling when copious amounts of precum slide down his cock from your action. It slickens your movements, allowing you to give him longer, harder strokes with each passing second.

After a minute or so, Jin suddenly crashes his head back against the wall with a loud groan of frustration. Startled, you look up at him, and nearly jump out of your skin in surprise to find him already staring down at you, his gaze so heated that you feel almost painfully hot in your own skin.

“Jin…” you whisper his name, cringing at the dry, broken quality of your voice. You lick your lips for moisture, ignoring the way his eyes lock on the gesture, and try again, “Jin, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he says, but the word comes out as a strangled groan, “Fuck.”

No matter what bullshit he tries to tell you, you know that he likes this. He likes this a lot, if the way he shivers and pants, his hands clenching and unclenching in the sheets underneath him is any indication. His teeth are gritted so hard that you can see a muscle jumping in his cheek, revealing just how difficult it must be for him to hold back his sounds.

You pout slightly at the realization. You’d like nothing more than to hear him moan for you. But you have a role to play here—you’re supposed to be completely indifferent, and begging for him to moan your name would ruin that purpose, no matter how much you want it. Somehow, you still value your ego more. Just like he does.

So you pump him harder, lowering your eyes to your work to avoid the heat of his gaze, and biting down hard on your bottom lip to resist the urge to taste him… The hot precum leaking from his tip is so tempting, but you force yourself to stay strong. You can’t let him win, like he always does. Not this time. It’s been your mission in life to prove to him that you’re not just another one of his fawning fangirls hanging onto his every word. You refuse to be that person… maybe because you want to be more than just that to him…

If you let your emotions take control right now, then you’ll be doomed. You’ll let him know how much you care… How much you’ve always cared about him. And then he’ll just laugh you off, like probably does with all the other love-struck admirers. You stand no chance. This will be as much as you’ll ever get from him.

And with that in mind, you suddenly slow down your pace, realizing that this is the only chance you’ll get to ever touch him. You close your eyes as you try to remember every detail—the weight of his cock in your hand, the very texture and warmth; his ragged breathing and the way he looks, whole body drenched in sweat. It’s then that you realize with a sinking heart that no man will ever compare. That this is it.

“Fuck, ___,” Jin groans, tearing you away from your thoughts, “Are you trying to kill me?”

You ignore him to wring your fist up his length, paying special attention to the sensitive head of his cock.

Jin curses again, “Fucking hell, ____! Why are you doing this to me?” He shifts in obvious discomfort on the bed, hips lifting towards your stingy touch.

“What do you mean?” you say as you examine his heavy, pulsating erection. It’s so hot and red, you can only imagine that he’s practically at his bursting point. You almost feel sorry for him. But if he hates this so much, he can just get himself off. His hands are just about as good as yours, apparently.

Jin throws his head back and groans deeply when you slide a thumb across his slit, “You’re fucking doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”

“Why would I do that?” you snort, “Aren’t you just getting a little desperate?”

“Yeah, because I want to fucking cum and you’re making it impossible,” he spits back, “Why are you so lazy? Why can’t you put in some fucking effort?”

“I’m just not interested,” You smoothly lie through your teeth, “This is so boring to me.”

“If we’re just friends and you’re not attracted to me whatsoever, then why the fuck are you even doing this?” Jin growls.

He’s got you there. “And if you’re not attracted to me either, then why do you want this so badly?” you shoot back, instead of addressing his question.

“Because your hands are soft and I want to fucking cum on them!” he practically snarls, “Don’t you dare think this has anything to do with you.”

Your nostrils flare in anger, and you’re almost tempted to just drop his cock and stomp out of the room. But that would mean that you’ve let him get under your skin. And you’re determined to not let him affect you one bit.

“Fine,” you snap. And with that, you begin jerking him off as fast as you can.

Jin’s entire form crumples at once, as he practically folds his larger frame over you. He’s a bit slow with his reactions this time and doesn’t have the self-control to hold himself back before a strangled moan tears through the room.

You ignore him and the wetness in your underwear as you impatiently stroke him towards his orgasm. His precum is still flowing, but it’s not quite enough, and you quickly duck your head to spit on him to further lubricate your movements.

Clearly not expecting that, Jin shouts out your name, astonished by the vulgar action, “___!”

“Shut up,” you growl in response, redoubling your efforts. He’s so close right now. You can feel it viscerally as if it was your own pleasure. The way his arms shake with the effort to keep him upright, the way his breathing goes haywire, and the way every muscle in his body tenses like a coil… He’s either on the edge or right there. And true to your expectations, it only takes another minute of your harsh pumping before he’s suddenly latching out to grab you with both hands.

“Fuck!” he shouts, entire body trembling as he bursts all over your hands. Any semblance of self-control disappears at that instant, where he helplessly jerks his hips up into your hand, desperate for more friction.

You patiently stroke him through his orgasm, using his excessive cum as lubrication. He meets you stroke for stroke, and the fluid motions of his hips makes your mouth go dry. You’ve never seen anything so fucking hot as Kim Seokjin when consumed mindless by his powerful orgasm.

But all good things must come to an end, and a few seconds later, he pushes away your hands with a shiver of overstimulation. You reluctantly withdraw and stare down at your cum-coated hands. For a second, you’re nearly overcome with the need to taste him by sucking his cum off of your fingers one by one. Somehow, you resist and reach over to pluck a few tissues from the nightstand, “Ew.”

Jin is still breathing too hard to respond. He shakily brushes his sweaty bangs off his forehead and tucks his spent length back in his pants, “Sh-shut up.”

You ignore him to reach for the hand sanitizer instead, intentionally rubbing it on in front of him to prove a point.

A heavy silence suffuses the room, and you have no idea how to address it as you carry on with your act. You realize that the logical course of action is to kick him out of your apartment… But you don’t really want to do that.

“Come on,” Jin says, breaking through the tension, “Lie on your back. I’ll eat you out or something.”

But the way he says it makes it sound like a chore, and your face heats at the implication, “Forget it, asshole. Don’t even front. I know what a selfish bastard you are.”

His brow furrows with indignation, “What the fuck? I’ll prove to you just how wrong you are. Get on your back, kid.”

Clearly that was the wrong thing to say to him as it just encouraged his competitive drive. You try a different approach, “No way. Why do you think I would ever want that?”

“Are you still playing this game? Calm down and let me rub one out for you.”

His crassness makes you shrivel up in embarrassment. There’s nothing you’d want more, but you know that the moment you drop your pants, he’ll realize how turned on you are… You’ve already soaked through your panties at this point, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you left a stain against the bed sheets. And he can’t know how aroused you are from just pleasuring him. You would never survive the embarrassment.

“Stop it,” you say, “Just leave me alone.”

You’re not sure if you’re more relieved or disappointed when he concedes. “Fine,” he bites out, “I didn’t want to go through that effort anyways, so you spared me.”

That stings more than it should. “Whatever. Just go home, asshole.”

Jin doesn’t even look at you as he angrily buttons his pants and yanks his clothes back into place. Then, without sparing you a single word, he marches straight out of your bedroom. You count down from ten in your head, and the moment you hear the front door slam shut, you collapse onto your bed with a deep groan. It feels like all the energy has left your body, making you feel exhausted enough to sleep for a decade.

What you had just done to Jin… That was single-handedly the sexiest experience of your life. And yet… why do you feel so empty?

*********************************************************************************

You don’t speak to Jin for the next week. For most friends, this is a pretty normal occurrence. But you and Jin are so close that it’s odd to not speak to him for even a day, much less an entire week. The first few days are tough. You almost forget that you’re fighting multiple times throughout the week, and pick up your phone to complain to him about the harsh feedback your advisor’s sent you, or the annoying thing Lei’s done this time, before you collect yourself.

But when the 10-day mark rolls by, you feel your defenses crumbling. You find yourself pausing in the hallway outside of your apartment, staring down at your dry phone with a frown. Normally Fridays are your bi-weekly dinner dates with Jin. It’s been a tradition between the two of you since you were in your second year of university. Surely, he wouldn’t be petty enough to forget this… right?

You’re about to pull up Jin’s contact in your phone to call him when a family of four nearly plow you over in their hurry to the elevator.

“Sorry, Miss!” the frazzled mother yells out before she shoos her children into the elevator.

It’s too hazardous to stand out here in the busy hallway, so you quickly unlock the front door of your apartment unit and let yourself in before hitting the green “call” button. You’re just about to toss your keys on the counter when a loud vibration makes you jump in surprise. Oh, you thought you were home alone. Lei was supposed to be out until late tonight. You look up to greet her, but the smile slides right off your face when you find someone much bigger than Lei sitting in the living room. The keys slip between your fingers to fall to the ground with a loud clatter.

“Oh, shit.”

But Jin beats you to it, rushing across the room to pick up your fallen keys for you, “Here,” he says as he hands them to you.

“Thanks,” you resist the urge to shiver as his fingers brush yours. Then you drop your gaze to your feet, too overwhelmed by his sudden appearance to look him in the eye, “Jin, what are you doing here?”

“Tch, don’t tell me you forgot about our dinner night?”

You peek up at him in embarrassment, “Really…? You’re not still mad at me?”

He rolls his eyes at that, “How can I be mad at you for something so stupid? Come on. Put down your backpack and let’s go.”

Suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, you lurch forward to throw your arms around his neck in a painfully tight embrace, “I’m sorry, Jin!”

He chuckles as he hugs you back, “Don’t be, ___... Seriously. Don’t be.”

You’re not sure what he means by that, but you don’t care. All you know is that you have your best friend back, “Let’s never do anything so stupid again.”

His smile doesn’t reach his eyes when he finally lets you go, “If you say so.”

*********************************************************************************

Jin insists on walking you back to your apartment after dinner (even though his car is parked just on the curb), and you decide that it’s only proper to invite him in for a drink. But as Jin watches you fumble around in the kitchen with a beer in his hand, he suddenly shoots you with an unexpected question:

“Hey, ___, have you ever thought about me as more than a friend?”

You nearly drop the glass you had been cleaning in shock, “Wh-what?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time. Surely you must have thought about it one time or the other?” he calls out as casually as if he was discussing the weather.

You slowly put down the glass as you deliberate your next words carefully. But how can you evade the question without straight-up lying to his face? “I… I’m not sure why you’re asking me that,” you slowly say.

Jin sighs deeply and plops down his beer on the coffee table, “Stop cleaning and come sit with me for a second.”

There’s no way you can reject that simple request without appearing suspicious, so you reluctantly wipe your hands and join him, “What’s up, Jin?” you ask as you cautiously take a seat next to him on the couch and fold your legs underneath yourself.

He pauses for a moment, fiddling with the hem of his oversized cream sweater, before speaking, “I know that I’m not your type. That’s what you’ve been telling me since we first met. But surely over the past five years that we’ve been friends, it must have crossed your mind at one point or the other, right?”

You gnaw on your bottom lip, unsure of his intentions behind this line of questioning, but terrified, nevertheless, “I’m not sure what you mean, Jin.”

He sighs in frustration before trying again, “Come on, ___. You can be honest here… Have you ever thought about fucking me?”

Your mouth instantly goes dry at his question, and for a moment it feels like you can’t breathe. “Wh-what are you--? Why… I-I never!” you choke on your words, then hurriedly backtrack to try to fix your mistake, “I mean, I’m not blind. I can admit that you’re objectively hot, but that doesn’t mean that I want to—” You break off, embarrassed beyond belief, “God, Jin! Where the hell is this coming from?!”

But the tall dark-haired man purses his lips together tightly and steamrolls on, “Really, ___? So you’re trying to tell me that in our five years of friendship, not once did you ever think about me sexually?”

You take a moment to inhale deeply and brace yourself, “Never,” you lie through your teeth.

His eyes narrow, “Really?”

“Really.”

He cocks his head to the side as he considers you, brow furrowed as though deep in thought. Then, he unexpectedly lets out a bark of laughter, “Bullshit.”

Your eyes widen in shock, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Bullshit,” he growls, “I know it’s not all in my head. I know that you want me, ___.”

Your face heats with indignation, “What the fuck’s gotten into you these days?!” you seethe, “I know how you act with the other girls, but can you keep your oversized ego in check with me at least?!”

“Fine, if you’re not the least bit attracted to me, then come here,” he says, grabbing you by the hands to drag you closer to him on the couch so that your thighs touch, “Do you really feel nothing when I’m this close to you?”

“No!” You exclaim at once, though you can’t help the way your body floods with warmth at the feeling of his hands on your skin.

“Really? Look at me, ___. You seriously don’t want to kiss me right now?”

“No, not at all!” you shriek as you try to rip your hands out of his grip, but he’s a lot stronger than you expected.

“So what you’re trying to say is that you feel nothing for me,” he presses on, a strange desperation flashing in his eyes before he quickly masks it, “There is absolutely no attraction between us, and you’ll only ever see me as a friend?”

“Yes,” you lie, since it’s all you’re good at, “I don’t like you, Seokjin, and I never will.”

At that, he drops your wrists as though burned, “Alright,” he mutters in a bitter tone, “I understand.”

You suck in a deep breath through your teeth to try to calm your pounding heart. It doesn’t work. “Good,” you whisper in a hoarse tone. Then you rise to your knees and smash your lips to his.

Jin is completely still for the longest, most devastating second of your life. You’re about to furiously apologize then throw yourself out the window in disgrace when he suddenly grabs you by the back of the neck and forcibly deepens the kiss. And then his tongue is in your mouth, boldly pressing past your teeth and curling with yours as his fingers tighten around your neck, holding you captive.

His kisses are nothing like the modest, chaste ones he gave you in the kitchen a week and a half ago. This time he’s on the edge of violent, devouring you whole and holding onto you so hard that you have zero chance of escape. It’s as though he’s afraid that you might try to leave again. But you wouldn’t even if you could. Because this has been five whole years in the making. You’ve wanted him since the first time you laid eyes on him. And now that you’ve finally got him…

You feel like you’re drowning under the heat of his touch. It’s like the blood rushing through your veins has turned to molten lava, burning you from the inside out. You’re completely powerless as you get swept up by your desires, like a leaf in the wind. All you can do is relish the sensations, clinging onto Jin with both hands as you silently beg him for more.

And he does not disappoint. Without missing a beat or breaking the heated kiss, Jin shoves both hands up your shirt, hot fingers trailing along your stomach and ribcage for a second before he boldly grabs your breasts. You gasp into his mouth in surprise, and the sound turns into a guttural moan when Jin slides his mouth from yours to suck deep bruises into the tender skin under your jaw. The multitude of sensations leaves you breathless. But before you can rip off your shirt to allow him better access, Jin suddenly jumps up and hauls you off your feet with formidable strength you weren’t aware he possessed.

His lips are on yours again before you can comment on this new development, distracting you with hot kisses until your back hits something springy. You break from the kiss with a yelp of surprise to find yourself in your bedroom, pressed flat against your messy sheets as Jin continues to mouth at the crook of your neck. Somehow, he had carried you to your room when you were unaware. And now that he’s not limited by the awkward positioning of your bodies on the couch, he’s able to lower himself on top of you, trapping you under his broad frame with no restrictions.

“Jin!” You yell out in shock when a shift of his hips has you feeling the painfully hard erection in his jeans for the first time.

He ignores you to yank on one of your legs, forcing it to wrap around his waist and allowing himself surface area to grind against as he loses himself to his lust. And then it hits you like a slap to the face that this is actually happening. That this isn’t going to be some casual make out session or another quick handjob. That after all of these years of fantasizing and waiting, you’re finally going to have sex with Kim Seokjin. This is actually happening.

“Seokjin,” you murmur his name when he begins nipping down to your cleavage, making him freeze in his tracks.

“…Yes?” He asks as he stares up at you with fearful wide eyes. You instantly recognize the trepidation in them, confusing you for a moment before awareness dawns upon you. He’s scared… because he thinks that you might ask him to stop. And you know that he would. He would do it in a heartbeat if that’s what you wanted. But he’s so aroused that it wouldn’t be anything short of excruciating.

So you giggle softly to dispel his fears and affectionately lean up to nip his earlobe, “Take off your clothes, Jin,” you whisper in his ear.

Your sultry request incites something within him, because less than a second passes before he’s shooting up onto his haunches and ripping off his clothes at lightning speed. You gasp out loud at the sight of his bare chest, hungry fingers darting to touch the hard muscle, but before you can make contact, Jin pushes your hands away to undress you as well. In a blink of an eye, your shirt hits the ground along with your bra. Jin pauses for a moment there, distracted by the mouthwatering sight of your breasts, but quickly refocuses when you wiggle out of your jeans and carelessly kick them off to the ground, leaving you decked in only a pair of thin cotton underwear. And together, the two of you peel them off your legs, leaving you entirely naked before him.

“Fuck,” he curses, eyes shamelessly devouring you from head to toe as he runs his tongue over his lips over and over, practically salivating at the sight of your bare body spread out across the sheets.

Embarrassed, you try to cover yourself with your hands, “Jin…”

He possessively rips your hands from your body and pins them above your head, “Don’t you dare cover yourself from me,” he growls before covering your lips with his swollen red ones again.

His grip is as strong as steel around your wrists and you couldn’t break free even if you wanted to. You never knew that your handsome, princely best friend possessed such strength, and it’s sexy to say the least. He had always seemed almost delicate, like he would be flimsy in bed, but you could’ve have been more wrong. It feels like a wall of concrete is closing in on you, surprisingly well-defined muscles rippling with every movement, and you feel light-headed from the intensity of your arousal.

“Fuck me, Jin,” you beg as you careen your hips up for friction.

He curses softly at this, but somehow resists, instead slipping his hand down to cup your mound, “How are you so fucking wet?” he asks in shock as he easily slides a finger inside of you.

You clench down on him at once, moaning at the sensations when he begins curling his finger inside of you. But it’s not enough. Not when you know how big and thick his cock is, and how much more nicely it’d fill you up than his slender fingers. “Seokjin,” you whine, “Please just fuck me.”

He bites down on his plump bottom lip at that, but somehow manages to refuse you with a shake of his head, “No. I gotta stretch you out first, baby. So I don’t hurt you.”

“I can take it, Jin!” you exclaim, practically thrashing underneath him when he slips another finger inside of you, rocking them both up against your g-spot in a way that makes you see stars in your vision.

Jin groans softly as you clench around him as hard as you can, clearly imagining his dick in the place of his fingers… which he could easily have, if he wasn’t so damn stubborn. “N-not yet,” he says, but the tremble of his voice gives him away.

“Please!” you mindlessly beg, “I want your dick so bad, I’m going to die if you don’t fuck me right now! Please, Jin!”

He falters at that, and when you lean up to bite down at the thick muscle of his neck, Jin’s resolve crumbles entirely. “Fuck, okay,” he breathlessly agrees, and with one last harsh twist of his thumb against your clit, he rises onto his knees to yank at his belt. “Get a condom.”

You’re so distracted by the residues of pleasure that continue to buzz in your system that you can’t process his words for a moment. But when you finally do, you hastily shake your head, horrified by the very thought, “I’m on birth control… And we know each other. You’re clean, right?”

“Yes, of course!”

“Then please cum inside of me, Seokjin,” you purr, wrapping both legs around his waist and rubbing your drenched slit against the front of his crotch.

His eyes darken at that, and in a blink of an eye, he has his jeans and underwear shoved to mid-thigh and his burning hot erection gripped in his hand. You can’t help the gasp that tears from your throat at the sight. He’s bigger than you remember. Not only is he long, but unbelievably wide in girth. You like dick as much as anyone else, but this is almost excessive. For a split second, trepidation breaks through the cloud of arousal. There’s no way he will fit… not without a great deal of pain, at least.

Jin senses your hesitation, and he lowers his head to give you a soft, reassuring kiss, “I told you to give me time to stretch you out,” he says as he gently slides the flat of his cock against your pussy lips.

That snaps you out of it, and you quickly shake your head, absolutely resolute as you spread your thighs for him, “I don’t care. Do it next time. Right now, I just need you to fuck me before I go insane!”

Jin pauses at that, “Next time…?”

You ignore him to lift your hips up, grinding your sopping wet pussy against his dick, “Please just put it in, Jin!”

He chokes back a groan at that and licks his lips, “Fuck, alright.” And his former line of questioning lost through this distraction, he shakily presses the head of his cock against your entrance, biting down hard on his bottom lip when it pops past the barrier, allowing him to sink in a good inch or two before he forces himself to stop. “A-are you okay?” he asks, voice quivering as hard as the arms trying to brace themselves on either side of your head.

It’s a bit uncomfortable having your entrance stretched this wide to accommodate his girth, but it’s not intolerable. So you nod your head and spread your legs wider, allowing him a full two more inches into your delicious heat before you press a hand against his stomach to stop him. “Ow, give me a moment,” you say with a wince.

He jerks his head in a curt nod, trying to be respectful of your needs, even as his hands grip around the sheets tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. In the minute he allows you, he restlessly noses around your neck, darting his tongue out to taste random spots, as though seeking any distraction to keep from shoving the rest of his cock inside of you like he desperately desires.

Taking pity on him, you raise your hips to meet his until you’ve got nearly half of his enormous cock inside of you. Already, it’s a bit more of a stretch than you can handle, and your body automatically attempts to push this foreign item out of you by tightening and squeezing around him. It’s completely instinctive, like a knee-jerk reflex, and you realize too late that it’s the absolute worst thing you could do to a man with his self-control shred to tatters.

The moment he feels your walls clamping around him as tight as a vice, Jin throws his head back with a gasp, then slams the rest of his length inside of you with a single jerk of his hips.

You’re suddenly overwhelmed, filled to the hilt, and you’re sure he’s hit your cervix by the sharp pain that stabs your lower stomach upon impact, but you wouldn’t dare stop him. Even the pain is poignant, the sharpness chased by the sweetest aftertaste of pleasure that has you hungry for more.

“A-are you okay?” he breathlessly asks, even as he begins to surge forward in your heat, hips immediately picking up a rapid pace.

“Yes!” You yell out, “Please don’t stop.”

“Fuck,” he curses as he digs his fingers into your thighs hard enough to bruise. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, you feel so good.”

You wrap your legs tighter around his narrow waist in response, silently urging him on as he literally fucks the thoughts out of your mind. As a result, neither of you notice the bang of the front door swinging open until a voice calls out—

“___, I’m home!”

You stiffen at the sound of Lei’s voice and dig your nails into Jin’s back to keep him from moving, “Shit,” you whisper, eyes wide with fear at getting caught, “We need to be quiet!”

Jin’s hot pants fill the air as he struggles to hold himself still inside of your hot pussy when all he wants to do is fuck you into oblivion. He manages exactly ten seconds before his eyes flash dangerously, “Fuck that shit,” and with that, he pulls back on his heels and slams into you so hard that your entire body knocks back into the headboard, and a scream of his name come tearing from the back of your throat before you can help it.

“Seokjin!”

There’s the sound of something clanging noisily as it hits the ground in the other room, followed by Lei’s cursing, “What the fuck…?”

Jin laughs under his breath as he continues to drill into you, delighting in the shrieks and bubbles of noise you helplessly emit. “Fuck, ____,” he moans dramatically, so that his voice can be heard through the thin walls, “You feel so good.”

You bite down on your bottom lip to hold back your laughter as you catch onto his wicked plan, “Oh Jin, please fuck me harder!” you wantonly moan at the top of your lungs, “Harder, baby, harder!”

Jin flashes you a brilliant grin before reaching up to bang his fist against the headboard, the loud thuds echoing throughout the room, “Like this, baby?” he half-yells, even though he has fallen motionless inside of you.

“Fuck yes!” You scream so loudly that even Jin jumps in surprise.

That is the last straw, and a second later, you hear the front door opening, “You guys are fucking disgusting!” Lei shrieks in the shrillest voice imaginable before slamming the door shut.

There’s a brief moment of silence before Jin blinks at you, “Do you think we finally got your revenge?”

“I sure hope so… What more can we do?”

A stunning smile stretches across Jin’s handsome face as he peers down at you, “Want to take this to her bed instead?”

You stare at him with huge eyes for split second, shocked beyond belief. He stares back with a raised eyebrow. Then, the tension breaks and the two of you burst into hysterical laughter.

“This is crazy!” you yelp as tears fill your eyes from how hard you’re laughing. This whole thing is just so ridiculous! Not in a million years did you ever imagine yourself to end up in such a wild situation! You clutch your aching tummy as you continue to be overcome by peals of laughter, and as a result, you don’t notice that Jin has fallen deathly silent until he suddenly grabs you by the hips with a snarl.

The laughter dies in your chest as you take in the sudden intensity of his cold stare, “Jin…?”

He tightens his grip around your hips when you shift around to try to look at him better, “Stop. Fucking. Moving.”

You instantly obey, freezing to ice as the implications of his words hit you like a ton of bricks. Your hearty laughter, with him buried deep inside of you, has probably shaken him up in the most agonizing way possible… Flustered, you nervously chuckle, unintentionally constricting and vibrating around his cock again.

Jin falls on top of you with a tortured groan, hands sinking into the pillow on either side of your head as he helplessly drives his hips forward into your warmth, “I thought I told you to stop moving,” he hisses as he pulls out just to ram himself inside of you, up to the hilt. And just like that, the tension breaks as the desire to cum rushes back, ten-fold.

“Oh my god, Jin,” you groan as he begins to mercilessly pound you into the mattress, “How are you so fucking big?”

He chuckles breathlessly, “I hope you’re not in too much pain in the morning.”

“I’ve already lost feeling in my legs,” you say, even as you wrap them tighter around his lithe waist, “What is this damn elephant trunk of yours?

That makes him laugh again, sweaty face flushing with a tint of pink, “I’m sorry baby girl.”

“Don’t be,” you groan, “Because it’s fucking awesome.”

“I promise I’ll be gentler next time,” he guarantees you through heavy pants, “But right now… I need to cum… fuck, I’m so close, ___.”

“Me too,” you groan, blindly lifting your hips for more. And as a result, you’re too dazed by your need for an orgasm to process the meaning behind his words. This whole situation should be unbearably uncomfortable and weird—you’re fucking your best friend of half a decade, after all. But for some reason, it feels right. Like you were meant to have him buried in your pussy. You’ve never known what empty felt like until now that you’ve finally experienced the ecstasy of complete fullness.

Warmth is bursting at the seams of your legs, coloring your vision a rosy tint, but still, it’s not quite enough. So you slip a hand between your sweaty bodies, seeking that extra boost that will send you off the edge. But before you can rub yourself to completion, a hand knocks yours to the side.

“Let me,” Jin offers, brow wrinkled in concern as he resumes drawing circles around your clit for you. It takes you a second to recognize the emotion on his face as jealousy—over your own touch on your body. It’s so childish and yet endearing that you can’t help but laugh at his illogical reaction. However, your amusement quickly dies in your chest when Jin vindictively digs his thumb into your clit with the perfect amount of pressure, sending you catapulting towards your orgasm so fast, you experience whiplash.

“Oh my god,” you whimper as you trash from underneath him, practically bucking him off, “I’m going to cum!”

Jin moans from deep in his chest in response to your warning and leans down to suck a hickey into your neck, “Do it,” he breathlessly commands you, “Cum for me now.”

Like a puppet on a string, your body automatically obeys, and with just one last hard slam of his cock into your fluttering walls, you squeeze your eyes shut and cum all over him. The white-hot pleasure overwhelms you, filling every cell of your body with blinding light such that your mind blanks entirely. Consequently, you’re too caught up in your own pleasure to notice when Jin stiffens above you, his own release triggered by the sudden vice-like clamping of your walls over his dick. He cums noisily, grunting your name and spitting various curses as he snaps his hips back and forth, riding out his orgasm in bliss.

When he’s emptied every last bit of his hot semen inside of you, Jin finally pulls out with a deep sigh of contentment. There’s a few minutes of blessed silence where the two of you simply lie there, nuzzling into each other with soft kisses, and listening to your racing hearts slow. You feel sluggish with exhaustion in the aftermath of your orgasmic bliss. And it feels so nice to have Jin gently mouthing at your neck as he holds you close to his body, both arms looped possessively around your waist like he never wants to let you go. Your eyes feel so heavy that you can’t help but close them, as you reason with yourself that it couldn’t hurt to doze off for just a few minutes…

But of course Jin has to go and ruin the peaceful atmosphere with his big, fat mouth.

“See? I knew you were attracted to me,” he chuckles, voice muffled by your skin.

And just like that, the mood breaks and your jaw drops with indignation, “What the hell?” you angrily shove him off of you.

Bewildered by your sudden shift in mood, Jin nevertheless rolls over onto his back, “Huh? ___, what’s wrong?”

“How are you so fucking arrogant, Kim Seokjin?” you growl as you hunt for your clothes.

“What? No, I’m not!” He protests in confusion, “How is it arrogance when I’m just stating facts? You’re clearly attracted to me! Why else would you have jumped me like some kind of feral animal?!”

Your face grows hot at the unflattering reminder, “Oh my god, shut up, Jin. I must have had a minor stroke or something. I don’t know what else could have possessed me to act in that a way. I’m such a basic bitch!”

“Why are you acting this way? It was good, wasn’t it?” he asks with a touch of defensiveness.

It was more than good. It was amazing. Mind-blowing, really. But there’s no way in hell you’ll boost his ego by letting him know that. “You have a big dick, I’ll give you that. But that doesn’t mean shit.”

He colors at your insult, “And you think you’re all that? All you did was lie down and take it, ___. I might as well have been fucking a ragdoll or something.”

“Oh yeah? Well look at you, asshole. I gave you a handjob and let you fuck my pussy. And what did I get in return? Just a bruised cervix.”

Jin splutters at the complete unfairness of your words, “B-but—what are you even—I tried to reciprocate, but you wouldn’t let me!”

You choose to ignore that, “All I hear are excuses! I seriously can’t believe you, Jin. Were you honestly expecting me to fall to my knees and thank you for blessing me with your dick?”

“Why not?” he hotly shoots back, “You were literally begging me to fuck you earlier. I think you could show a bit more appreciation.”

You heat up further as you remember the shit you said in bed, but you resolutely refuse to allow any embarrassment or weakness to show in front of him, “I don’t know who you think I am, Kim Seokjin. But I’m not one of your fangirls who pray that you’ll look in their direction, and allow you to use them like disposable sex dolls. That won’t work with me. I’m more than that. Jin, you know I am,” you say, hoping that he will agree with your statement.

To your disappointment, he snorts in derision, “Yeah right. You may pretend to be all high and mighty, but I know you’re just as thirsty for this dick as the rest of them. Just admit it, babe.”

Your ego is torn to shreds, yet you make you last attempt, desperate to not let this opportunity slip past you, “I won’t be another one of your playthings, Jin. I deserve better.” There’s a brief moment of silence following your confession. You’ve wanted to say this since you first caught feelings for him all the way back during college, and the fact that you’ve finally gotten this off your chest is both liberating and completely terrifying. You know that your chances are slim at best, but you can’t help but hope against hope.

“Tch, whatever,” is Jin’s gruff response when he finally catches his breath, “Fuck you too.” And with that, he collects his clothes and stomps out of your bedroom.

You sit there for a long time after he leaves, helplessly staring after him. Not even in your wildest dreams or most frightening nightmares could you have ever predicted him reacting in this way. With all of your years of friendship, you actually believed him to care about you. So his blunt, heartless rejection is agonizing to say the least. You had expected an awkward rejection—maybe a half-assed hug and a promise that you’d find someone else at worst. But you have never witnessed such coldness from this man who you had considered to be your best friend.

Suddenly wracked with shivers, you slowly slide under the covers and pull them over your head. The remnants of his cum is still seeping out of you, sliding down your leg to stain your sheets, but you’re too numb to care. You can only lie there and stare up at the ceiling as you fight the urge to cry.

*********************************************************************************

You can’t bring yourself to crawl out of bed the next morning until nearly noon. You know that you look like a hot mess with your hair matted and eyes swollen from crying. All you want to do is grab a glass of water from the kitchen to keep from dehydration, then spend the rest of the day cooped up in your bed.

Unfortunately, as you pour yourself water in the kitchen, Lei hears the commotion from her bedroom, and hurriedly rushes out to intercept you.

“___!” She yells your name, making you cringe.

God, you really need to get your own apartment… You take another long swallow of your water before you slowly put the glass down, “…Yes?”

She places both hands on her hips, clearly upset with you for some reason you can’t fathom, “How dare you pull a stunt like that last night!”

You wince at the volume of her voice, “What do you mean?” you ask, glancing longingly past her to the open door of your bedroom.

“Don’t you even try to play dumb, ___! That stunt you pulled with Seokjin! How could you do that to me?!”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Irritation fills you for the first time at her hypocrisy, “Maybe we were a little loud, but so what? You bring home men all the time!”

“That’s not what I’m pissed about!” She says with a childish stomp of her foot, “Are you kidding me right now, ___?!”

“Lei, I really have no idea what you’re trying to say!” you exclaim, frustrated by this situation. Why is she acting up like this when you’re already feeling so miserable?

“You can’t possibly be this dense!” she practically shrieks at you, making you heat with anger, “I don’t care if you hook up with random guys! I care if it’s Kim Seokjin!”

“Why?” You yell back, “What’s so different about that asshole?!”

“What’s so different?” Lei repeats, dumbfounded, “Are you fucking—he’s different because I liked him!”

It takes a few seconds for you to process her unexpected confession. You open your mouth, as though to reply, but your words fail you. Instead you’re left gaping at her like a fish out of water as you try to wrap your mind around this. “Wh-what?” you finally croak out, “Lei, what are you even saying?”

“Don’t even try to play dumb,” she huffs, “I know how close you are to Seokjin. I bet he told you fucking everything! That lying bastard… Can you believe he rejected me by saying that he didn’t want to ruin our friendship, but then he goes and screws around with you just a year later?!”

You’re still reeling. “Hold on,” you say as you dig your fingers into your suddenly aching temples, “I need a moment to process this…”

But Lei ignores you to continue ranting, “Seokjin is an asshole, and we all know this. I’m not surprised. And I don’t care if you’re dating now. That’s fine. I don’t even care that you guys show your sickening PDA in front of me… But to fuck the guy who you knew I liked so noisily when you knew I was home?! Now that’s actually messed up, ___.”

You wince at the accusation, “It’s not like that, Lei. I seriously didn’t know!”

Your roommate sniffs loudly, “Yeah right, bitch. I hope that you’re pleased with yourself,” and with that, she turns dramatically on her heel to march out of the apartment.

“Wait, where are you going?!” You anxiously call after her.

“To fuck Jung Hoseok!” She informs you with a perfect flick of her long curls over a shoulder.

You flinch in shock, “Wait, you’ve fucked him too?”

“I guess he got tired of waiting for you,” she snickers before she slams the door shut.

You stare at the front door for a few seconds, contemplating your next course of action. What you really want to do is chase after your roommate and clarify this huge misunderstanding with her, but it’s clear that she won’t be receptive to anything you’re saying right now. So you decide to put that problem on the backburner. But for the meantime…

Your expression darkens as you pull out your phone to scroll to Jin’s contact. Done with being sad, your tears have all dried up and now you’re just pissed. Time to get some answers from this shady fuckboi.

*********************************************************************************

“Oh,” Jin’s eyes widen at the sight of you on his front door step less than half an hour later, “___... when you said that we needed to talk over the phone earlier, I didn’t realize that you meant in person… and right now.”

“Why? Is not a bad time?”

He shakes his head and moves out of the way, “No, please come in.”

You remove your shoes at the entrance before slowly walking across the vast apartment and taking a careful seat on his expensive leather couch. He lives by himself in a luxury apartment tower in the heart of the city. This is what happens when you don’t make the poor decision of entering a six-year doctoral program and living in near-poverty conditions until you’re thirty. Must be nice…

“How did you even get in here?” Jin asks as he pops open two beers from the fridge and hands you one.

You gratefully accept the icy beverage, “The security guard let me in.”

“What? Why?!”

You shrug as you take a sip, “I dunno. He seems to think that I live with you.”

“Oh… That’s weird.”

“Yeah…”

Things between the two of you are still awkward from the events of last night. All you can think about when you look at him is how good he looked in your bed, drenched in sweat and swollen red lips parted in pleasure. But the heat rising in your blood quickly chills over when you remember the way he had rejected you and crushed your ego mere moments afterwards.

“I had a really interesting discussion with Lei earlier today,” you say as you take another cautious sip of your beer.

“Oh?” His eyebrows raise in surprise, “About what?”

“About something that transpired between the two of you last year…”

“Oh…?” He folds his hands awkwardly in his lap, and it might just be your imagination, but does he suddenly look nervous?

You twist in your seat to face him, “Jin… why didn’t you tell me that Lei asked you out?”

His face blanches at the accusation and it seems like he wants to deny it at first, but thinks better of it, “I… I just… I mean, I didn’t see the importance of bringing up something like that…”

“How is it not important?” You snap back, temper rising, “Lei is my roommate. And you’re supposed to be my best friend! How could you have kept such a thing from me?”

He shrugs and drops his gaze to his lap, clearly abashed, “I dunno… It just wasn’t a big deal…”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” You practically yell at him, horrified by his heartlessness, “And to fool around with me in front of her when you knew she liked you?! How could you have done such a thing?!”

His ears are flushed pink at this point, “You’re right. I’m an asshole. I deserve this…”

But his apology still doesn’t explain shit. “You’re not normally like this!” You exclaim in frustration, “Why are you acting all shady and weird?! This isn’t like you!”

He shrugs again, unable to make eye contact at this point even if he wanted to. His broad form is shriveled up with shame, making him look like a little boy caught stealing. “I don’t know…”

That answer isn’t good enough, “Cut the bullshit, Kim Seokjin!” you growl at him, “And just tell me, once and for all: Why didn’t you tell me about Lei?!”

He chews his plush bottom lip for a few seconds as he mulls over his answer, “Because I didn’t want to,” he finally admits.

You’re practically tearing out your hair at this point, “And why’s that?!”

“I just didn’t want to!”

“Why the fuck not?!”

“Because I was afraid that you would never date me if you knew!”

The confession hits you like a slap of icy water in the face. It’s so unexpected, so completely disorienting that you can’t even wrap your mind around it. For a moment, you fear that you’ve misunderstood, “…What did you say?”

Jin’s entire face is as red as a tomato with embarrassment, but with enormous courage, he forces himself to venture on, “You’re a loyal person, ___,” he says in a small voice, “I’ve known you for five years now, and I know that you value your friendships above all else… Chicks over dicks, right?” he says with a humorless chuckle, “I knew that if you ever found out about Lei having feelings for me, that I’d be off-limits. And then I’d never have a chance with you!”

Oh god… What is he even saying right now? Could the great Kim Seokjin, the ultimate playboy with girls throwing themselves at his feet, begging for a chance, actually have feelings for you…? This can’t be real. “Jin…” you whisper his name, “Do you… do you like me?”

He winces at your question and buries his burning hot face in his hands, unable to respond except for a stiff nod of his head, “More than that…” he finally manages to choke out.

Your world spins dizzily around you, and you’re grateful that you’re sitting, otherwise you might have fallen over with the way your knees suddenly weaken to mush. “B-but… but why haven’t you ever said anything to me?” You croak, trying to process this bewildering situation, but it still feels like you’re in a dream.

“And get my heart broken?” he snorts, derisive, “No thank you.”

“How are you so positive that I’d reject you?” You ask, looking up at him in confusion.

“Are you serious, ___?” he says in astonishment, “You’re the one who tells me every day how you’re not attracted to me. And that you only see me as a friend.”

You flush at the accuracy of his words, “Yes, but that’s because you’re a fuckboy! All you do is hookup, and you don’t care for relationships.”

“Maybe that’s because I’ve been waiting for the right one.”

That statement takes your breath away, “But… b-but,” you stammer, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Why does it matter?” he bitterly counters, “You never reciprocated my feelings, and I’m not good enough for you, so why bother?”

“What?!” you explode at that. You’ve never heard anything so untrue. “What the hell are you talking about?! No one said that!”

“You have!”

Your face scrunches into a deep scowl, “What the fuck? No way! I would never say something like that!”

“Are you kidding me?! ___, you literally just said this to my face last night!”

“I did not! Do you have listening comprehension problems or something? Because there’s no way I would ever—”

“ ‘I deserve better’,” He spits out, quoting you word-for-word, “I get it… And I agree, okay? You do deserve someone better than me. But saying that to me like ten minutes after my dream of getting to touch you finally came true… That was too cruel, ___. Even you have to admit that.”

You’re so taken aback by his rant that you can’t even speak for the next few seconds. All this time… through the past five years of friendship and secret longing… this was all due to a simple misunderstanding? For a frightening moment, you fear that you might cry.

“Jin,” you whisper in a strained tone when you finally find your voice again. He peeks up at you in curiosity. You take a deep breath to stay calm, then firmly place both hands on his shoulders, forcing him to look you straight in the eyes. You won’t tolerate any misunderstandings this time. “Jin,” you say his name again, your voice clear and firm this time.

“Yes?” He says, looking up with a glint of hope shining in his eyes.

You squeeze his shoulders, and without breaking eye contact you say in the most serious tone you can muster, “You are the dumbest motherfucker I have ever met.”

His face crumples at once, “What?!”

You ignore his offended expression and tighten your grip in his broad shoulders, “You have no language comprehension skills whatsoever, and I fear that you might be illiterate,” you inform him with a straight face.

“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Jin exclaims, bewildered by your unexpected attack, but offended nonetheless, “I’m smarter than you, at least!”

You shake your head while kindly reaching a hand up to stroke his handsome face, “God must have invested all his time in your face, and forgotten about your brain, you dumb son of a bitch.”

He sits up with indignation, “Look at who can’t even write a simple line of code! I do all your homework for you, you idiot! How dare you call me stupid when you couldn’t survive grad school without my help?! If I’m illiterate, then you’re—”

You cut him off with a rough kiss that momentarily takes his breath away.

Instantly, the anger slides off his face, replaced with something much softer. Jin slowly runs his tongue over his lips and looks up at you with dreamy, half-lidded eyes, “It’s not fair for you to kiss me like that when you want me to shut up… Especially when you know how I feel about you.”

You playfully flick his nose in response, “It’s not my fault that you’re too dumb to realize that I’ve been in love with you since our second year of uni.”

His subsequent reaction is so hilarious that you wished you thought to capture it on film. With his doe eyes bulging, jaw dropping, eyebrows shooting into his hairline, Jin looks like a clown or some kind of slapstick comedian and you can’t help but giggle at his reaction, “You’re so silly.”

That snaps him out of it, “Why am I the one who gets all the blame?!” He exclaims in indignation, “You’re just as dumb as me, if not more! Why would you insist that you weren’t attracted to me?! What did you expect?! For me to try to make a move, thinking that you would never reciprocate? If I’m dumb, then you literally have an IQ of fifty!”

“How am I dumber than you?” you gasp, “You can’t understand spoken language!”

“Yeah? Well you can’t talk!” he shoots back, “ ‘I deserve better.’ How did you expect someone to interpret such a vague statement?! How can you criticize someone for misunderstanding when you can’t even speak properly?!”

His neck is turning red with anger, the veins bulging and his eyes as wide as a frog’s. You open your mouth to berate him, but instead burst into laughter, “Oh my god,” you choke out between semi-hysterical sobs, “How am I in love with such a crazy madman?!”

He pauses at that, “Wait… you’re in love with me?”

“Yeah, dumbass. If you didn’t have the language comprehension skills of a seven-year-old, you’d realize that when I said ‘I deserve better,’ I meant that I wanted to mean more to you than just a hookup…”

He falls silent at that, mouth forming a perfect “O” of realization. “…That does make a lot more sense…”

“Yup…” And with that, you pull out your phone to rapidly type out a text message.

Jin looks at you with a pout, “Wow, you confessed your feelings not even a minute ago and you’re already on your phone! Is this what our future relationship will look like?!”

You glance up from your phone to shoot him a wry grin, “Calm down, you needy child. I’m just texting my friend who recently got licensed as a neuropsychologist. We’re getting tested for our first date,” you say as you affectionately ruffle his black bangs.

Jin’s eyebrows shoot up with surprise, “Why? You know we’re both clean—we literally had sex yesterday!”

“We’re not getting tested for that,” you chuckle, “I’m setting up an intelligence assessment… So I can prove that my IQ is higher than yours, once and for all!”

His jaw drops at that unexpected turn of things, “You’re insane!”

“Am I?” you shoot back, “Or are you just chicken?”

He shakes his head with reluctant amusement, “Fine. Let’s do this. But how are you going to explain to our future children that you brought their father to take a fucking IQ test to prove a point for their first date…? Whatever,” he says with a scoff, “Please hand me that dictionary on the coffee table.”

“…Future children?” you numbly repeat, even as you follow his instructions. Then you quickly snap yourself out of it, “Wait, what are you doing with that dictionary?”

“Studying up,” is his curt reply, “I have to beat you at the test to prove to you how dumb you really are.”

Gasping with indignation, you quickly drape yourself over his shoulders to ogle at the small print of the book in his hands, “You’re on, asshole!” And with that, you reach over him to rapidly flip through the dictionary, trying to disorient him while soaking in as much information as possible.

This whole situation is ridiculous. It’s unbelievably childish and you should be ashamed of this type of behavior at your age… Yet, when Jin briefly turns his head to press a kiss against your cheek before evilly blocking your view of the dictionary, you can’t help but smile. Because as immature and absurd as this situation may be, for some crazy reason it feels right.

“You’re also going to write Lei a heartfelt apology letter for your behavior,” you say with a little nip at his ear.

He stiffens at the reminder, his neck flushing with embarrassment, “Yes, of course. I’ll go and do it right now.”

But you stop him with a hand on his thigh, “It can wait until the morning,” you inform him, “But for now…” you rub your palm over the bulge forming down his left pant leg. “I promise I’ll be patient this time.”

Jin’s eyes are heavily dilated when he twists around on the couch to look at you, “You better,” he says in a quiet, rumbling voice, “Because this time, I intend on enjoying you.”

Your pulse quickens and liquid heat fills the pit of your stomach. Because for some reason, his words sound like a warning… “Yes, please,” you say in a hushed whisper, eyes as round as saucers.

“And this time, you wouldn’t dare accuse me of not reciprocating,” he murmurs, hot breath fanning across your face, “I’m going to eat you out until you fucking beg me to stop.”

“Oh God,” you croak, arousal dampening your underwear at the very thought.

“No,” he smirks, “Just call me ‘Jin’.”

There’s a brief moment of silence as you slowly process his lame joke. Then—“Oh my god, Jin!” You groan as you shove his face away from yours, “Way to ruin the mood, dumbass!”

“Wait, what? No! Come on, ___, you know that was hot!” he says, lowkey panicking as he tries to reach for him again.

You simply sigh as you situate yourself on the couch with your legs spread, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just start eating me out so I don’t have to listen to your dumb dad jokes any longer.”

“Yah! How dare you?! I’ll have you know that hundreds—no, thousands of girls would have killed to—”

“Shut up and get to work,” you bark with a rough tug of his hair.

Chastened, he instantly drops to his knees, “…Yes ma’am!”

*********************************************************************************

Author’s Note: Please don’t ask me about any sequels or updates! This is solely a one-shot and will not be continued :) But I’d love any feedback! 

[rantingpaiges-blog]

Hey y’all I’m not exactly new here but this account sure is, but i only made this account specifically to rant about shit that pisses me right the fuck off. 

This blog is specifically for rants so if you don’t like rants then you don’t need to be here sweets- have a nice day :p

so anyways yeah i’m gonna start off this blog with an intro and a rant that happened not too long ago- so if you wanna keep reading go on ahead!

So its called "RantingPaiges" because well- ranting- and also pages-> paiges

ye- jokes ha ha funny

i will swear in these rants so if y’all don’t like that you may also move on yee yee- this is just how i express myself sweetly. UWU thanks-

so boom- new blog- hi, how are ya?

I wont say anyone’s names- I wont tag anyone- this is purely anon- no exposing- no witch hunt bullshit

A N O N Y M O U S

~tah dahhhhhh~

thanks for coming by! now onto the first rant-

alright so, this literally happened just a few moments ago, before making this blog. 

I have this friend, that sometimes likes to make shit up, and tell lies and try to justify their lies by adding on more bullshit to them to make themselves look “correct” when i try and tell them what they’re saying doesn’t make any fucking sense.

they brought up drawing tablets. we both like to draw, and i have a Wacom tablet named “silly” and shes just the best tiny tablet I’ve ever had and i love her. 

They brought up the tablet with “HEY DID I TELL YOU I MIGHT BE GETTING A TABLET?” cool. (also keyword here is *M I G H T* just keep that in mind ;))

 i asked right away “what brand is it?” because the brand is usually a strong saying on whether the tablet is actually a GOOD one- OR NOT!

they respond to that with “honestly i don’t know the brand”

“okay then hopefully its a good one though..” i say back.

to which they respond with, “It’s a really good tablet- i used it before, but i wear out the pen tips really fast”

okay quick question: HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU “MIGHT BE GETTING A TABLET” NOT KNOW THE BRAND NAME, BUT HAVE ALSO USED IT BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN GOTTEN IT?

OKAY DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? 

THEY D O N T HAVE THE TABLET BUT THEY HAVE USED IT BEFORE, BUT EVEN IF THEY’VE U S E D I T B E F O R E THEY DON’T KNOW THE N A M E. 

W H A T.

After fumbling around that for a solid 3 minutes like ‘what the fuck do you mean M=MC^2 8+5=10′ i just continue on with why TF their pen tips don’t last long, cause- you’re probably pressing too hard on the tablet and hurting it you dweeb.

after googling it real fast and seeing how long people say their pen tips last before they change them, I say: “if your pen tips wear out really fast you’re pressing way to hard on the tablet, sure its cool to mess around with the pressure thing with the pen, but there’s no reason to murder your pen by pushing down on the tablet hard. they’d last longer if you use light pressure"

to which they respond with: "Look I used light pressure but I draw a shit ton... Like my time I used it I fucking wore out entire tip because I just went from one project to the next "

Okay- back to the whole they’re PROBABLY GOING TO GET THE TABLET. THEY- WHAT I THOUGHT THEY SAID- D O N T H A V E I T Y E T. BUT THEY'VE BEEN USING IT-? OKAY- THEN- WHAT-THE- FUCK.

to which I ignore that fact and say, after once again searching around to make sure: "that doesn’t make any sense. if you use light pressure your pen should last longer. if they last up to like 6-15 months then its fine but if they barely last as long as 5 you’re doing something wrong."

which- maybe makes sense- right? i say 6-15 months because from what ive read around some people don’t change their for YEARS, or some people change them every 4-6 months, which could also be just preferred by the tablet user themselves- so i just ranged it around there. and depending on the use of it- which i highly doubt they use a tablet as much as they say they do because they draw on paper or their phone all the time from what i’ve seen. the PRESSURE <- they use on the pen, and/or the tablet itself is rough- okay then yeah. sure bud.

to which they respond to me with: "You do realize that my pen tips were half priced and were knock off right-? My one friend *name* told me the same thing and I gave her one of my pen tips-- to use (brand new too) and she used half of it just sketching and she was really light on her pen too"

OKAY YOU----

A) DIDN’T TELL ME THEY WERE KNOCK OFF

B) STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN THE TABLET FROM WHAT YOU TOLD ME AT FIRST

C) SAID YOU’VE NEVER HAD A TABLET BEFORE SO WHY WOULD YOU BUY NIBS?????

THIS 👏HUMAN 👏DOES 👏NOT 👏MAKE👏 ANY 👏FUCKING👏 SENSE 👏WHAT 👏THE 👏FUCK 👏

OKAY ANYWAYS-I RESPOND WITH: "no you didn’t tell me that that explains that then. knock offs aren’t the greatest thing in the world, which is why its just better to get well known and highly rated brands. and if they’re too expensive, then holding off until you have a job would be better and save you annoyance of terrible pens. that’s what I did."

some knock offs can be good, sure, but from what they’ve said to me this alleged "knock off" isn’t good. i used to draw on my phone because i didn’t have money to spend on a tablet, so i just decided to wait until i had a job so i could save up money so I could get a computer and a tablet- which i mentioned before, is amazing and i’m so happy with her- so i could have a better experience drawing than up and getting a shitty tablet i wasn’t sure worked or didn’t know the brand. unlike this human. 🤔🤔😒

and their response was a voice recording so i’m gonna listen and copy down what they say rather than copying and pasting like i’ve been.

they say: “honest to god my tablet was a knock off, cause i had a brand picked out but the fucking name brand *blubber i don’t understand* so it was a name brand- and.... *pause* it cost 100 bucks originally and my grandparents i gave them the money and the refused to get the 100 dollar one and made me get the knock off which was 50 bucks *pause* it still works really nice. *stops to read what i just sent them* I-I CANT GET A JOB. *laughs* I’M NOT THE LEGAL AGE TO GET A JOB NOW. *laughs more*”

OKAY OKAY LISTEN. 100 DOLLARS IS FUCKING CHEAP IF YOU DON’T MIND ME SAYING. PLUS THEY HAD THE FUCKING MONEY TO GET THIS SO CALLED “NAME BRAND”-TO WHICH THEY STILL DIDN’T TELL ME THE FUCKING NAME- AND I SAID TO THEM ITS BETTER TO W A I T UNTIL YOU GET A JOB AND S A V E UP MONEY TO GET A TABLET YOU WOULD KNOW WOULD WORK BETTER THAN A KNOCK OFF WHICH YOU’VE ALREADY SAID IS SHITTY WITH THE PENS BUT IS STILL GOOD-? W H A T

ONCE AGAIN:

YOU SAID YOU M I G H T BE GETTING A TABLET, ONCE AGAIN, YET YOU BOUGHT IT- AND YOU WILL HAVE IT???? BUT YOU WONT HAVE IT BECAUSE YOU  M I G H T??? YOU HAD MONEY FOR A NAME BRAND TABLET- BUT YOU WEREN’T ALLOWED TO GET IT FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON? SO YOU INSTEAD BOUGHT A KNOCK OFF TABLET THAT WAS HALF THE PRICE, BUT FROM WHAT I’VE BEEN TOLD BY YOU, IT WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER TO TRY CHANGE YOUR GRANDPARENTS MIND TO GET A TABLET THAT YOU’RE GOING TO BUY WITH YOUR OWN MONEY- BUT AT THE EXACT SAME TIME YOU ALREADY HAVE THE TABLET AND HAVE BEEN USING IT TO FINALLY FIGURE OUT THAT THE TIPS DON’T LAST VERY LONG- W H AT? PL EA SE H E L P M E-------

TO WHICH THEY, THEN, RESPOND WITH: “i really need to get name brand stuff just the thing is is that i’m completely broke (<- YOU JUST SAID YOU HAD MONEY) and i cant get a job” 

A) YOU HAD MONEY TO GET A SUPPOSEDLY “NAME BRAND” TABLET- YOU CLEARLY SAID IT TO ME. 

B) I DIDN’T SAY YOU ABSOLUTELY HAD TO GET A JOB AT THIS VERY SECOND AND START SAVING UP MONEY IMMEDIATELY- N0- I SAID TO WAIT TO GET A JOB (BY WAIT I MEAN WHEN YOU’RE OLDER BECAUSE YOU’VE REPEATEDLY SAID TO ME THAT YOU’RE NOT OLD ENOUGH BEFORE THIS CONVERSATION) BEFORE WASTING MONEY ON A SHIT TABLET THAT THE PENS DON’T APPARENTLY LAST VERY LONG WITH EVEN THOUGH YOU APPARENTLY USE LIGHT PRESSURE, SO YOU END UP WASTING MONEY THAT YOU SAID YOU DON’T HAVE ON NIBS TO CHANGE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE THEY DON’T LAST VERY LONG-WHICH S T I L L DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE-  SO WHAT THE FUCJK IS HAPPENING WHY AM I TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT- YOU’RE MOST LIKELY LYING AT THIS POINT REEEEEEEEEEEEE????????????

AND I STOP TALKING TO THEM RIGHT HERE CAUSE THEY’RE JUST GONNA KEEP TRYING TO JUSTIFY THAT THEIR TABLET IS STILL GOOD WHEN THE TIPS DON’T LAST- AND GO OFF WITH RANDOM UNKNOWN STORIES- AND SAY THEY HAVE THE TABLET-WHEN THEY’VE ALSO SAID THEY*KEY WORD* M I G H T BE GETTING A TABLET STILL. 

OKAY 

OKAY

IF SOME HUMAN READ THIS WHOLE THING TAHNK YOU- IF YOU CAN SOMEHOW CLEAR THIS WHOLE STUPID THING UP THEN THAT WOULD BE F A A A A N TASTIC- 

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

[smireyac]

fuck this year man u dont even get cute emojis in the title this time

so lemme just start by saying fuck 2020 

now that we’re on the same page, lets get into it

so i dont have to explain all the reasons why this year sucked bc u just need to google 2020 and there will be a million reasons why it was TOTAL FUCKING GARBAGE...... usually when so many people collectively say a year sucked ass, i can be like “oh it wasnt *all* bad for me, personally” haha not this year!!! 

its super fucking depressing to look at how hopeful and positive i was about 2020 a year ago..... ofc there was no way for me to have known it would all go to shit but i still really appreciate the tone i had set... reading over the previous reflections and seeing how harsh and negative i was @ myself made the softness of last years post super refreshing.... 

now i said i dont *have* to explain all the ways 2020 was shitty, but i am gonna explain the biggest reason this year was shitty for me, personally..... it might seem really small in comparison to the ways 2020 was shitty as a whole on like a global scale? but really the biggest reason 2020 sucked ass was i didnt get to really hang out with any of my friends in real life for 9 out of the 12 months of the year.... and really it was like the first week of march that shit hit the fan so like really it was only 2 months that we got to see each other....... if u rmbr p much every previous retrospective post ive made, there was a big emphasis on friends..... ive come to realize that im actually a very *extra*verted person??? despite my overall shyness and homebody attitude, i would always choose to hang out with people over being alone so stay-at-home orders FUCKING SUCKED??? when we all thought it would be over in a couple weeks, maybe a month it was fine?? hey its a good time to draw or catch up on that reading and/or writing i said i was gonna do maybe even start learning to drive?? it’ll be no big deal THEN it wasn’t over in a month and it wasnt gonna BE over anytime soon and no one important was doing anything about it and its an election year and black lives have always mattered and yet everything is so uncertain and

[inhale]

[exhale]

this year was..... a lot...... too much in fact

in 2018, i had said that i watched vox’s video on the year in 5 mins and cried... if i watched this year in five minutes, i dont think i would be able to breathe...... 

SO instead of making myself CRY..... lets try to think about any GOOD things that happened and think about what we can do to make 2021 good for ourselves:

GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED:

-i *didn’t* lose my job!! sad that so many others cannot say the same but im trying to make myself feel *better* not WORSE so i got to keep my job and i actually work more hours than before so!!

-i actually *did* learn to drive this year!!!! and im pretty good at it??? for someone that just started this year anyway?? i probably *would* have my DRIVER’S LICENSE right now if it weren’t for a surge in cases in a certain STATE that i happen to live in......... but w/e its fine i get more time to practice and im ~~**DEFINITELY**~~ going pass my test and get my license ~whenever it is that i can reschedule my dmv appt~

lmfao its so funny that last year, i was absolutely *dreading* learning to drive but i so fucking get why everyone was like ‘you need to learn how to drive’ i legit love it so much???? ive always been a car person but that was like purely for the aesthetic but now that i can drive im just....... WOOOW this really is what freedom feels like.... like ik that public transportation is amazing and i will always champion it but nothing beats being purely in control of your destination.... i also wanted to buy myself a car for my birthday even tho i couldnt really drive yet but then sien had to fix smthg on her car and it was EXPENSIVE AF and my mom was like “u dont need to buy a car yet” so i put the brakes [haha] on that... but soon... once i get my license,,, then i will have u my love................. so with that being “my most serious goal of 2020″ im glad i did it

-i was one of lucky ones and got unemployment when i couldn’t work so i have a lot of money saved in the bank??? pls no one steal my identity i wanna use that money to buy myself a car and/or for when we move out 🤞🤞 we’ll just have to wait and seeeeee....................

-i had mentioned playing dnd last year too and thats been going STRONG as hell thank goodness....... we couldnt keep playing in person but when we moved it to online, not only did we actually get to hang out a lot more, we made more friends??? introduced new people to the group?? its so good and in fact probably the only thing that kept me even a little bit sane this year...... 

-this is more of an honorable mention than an accomplishment but im this 🤏close to catching up with critical role and thats partially thanks to the pandemic lmao sooooo ??? 

aaaaaaand thats p much it lol i didnt really accomplish any of my other goals bc reasons................. but!!! as cliche as it sounds, with a light at the end of the tunnel, im confident that i can turn that all around this year.... so if 2016 was the year of change, 2017 was the year of getting used to shit, 2018 was the year of getting *too* used to shit and 2019 ended up being the year of friends, 2020 was the year of absolute shit and it doesn’t fucking count....... i learned a lot this year, biggest lesson of all is that life is short and if i were to have died at any point last year, what the fuck would i have to show for it??? so usually i end up giving a theme or name to a year after its done but this time im determined to make 2021 into what i want it to be SO i am declaring this year, the year of our lord 2021, the year of new experiences!!!! what the fuck does that mean you ask? well ill tell you!!! im gonna try new things this year!! make a very pointed effort to do things outside my comfort zone?? and for my goals this year, im going back to my old way of making a huge list of stuff u wanna do and seeing how much i can actuallly accomplish!! now i said theres a light but we really dont know when all this shit will end and life will go “bAcK tO nOrMaL” so whos to say ill get to accomplish any of it? at the same time, there are plenty of stuff on the list that i can do within the pandemic set parameters so!! lets see this list!!

2021 GOALS:

[check boxes bc there is no plain box emoji lmao]

☑️ read new books!! i’ll keep last years goal bc i didnt meet it and i have good reads now which tells me i just need to read 1.5 books a month to reach that goal!! huzzah!

☑️ watch new shows and new movies b4 u end up watching shit you’ve already seen a million times... i bought an old planner for 2020 instead of 2021 by accident but i hope it will help keep track of the movies/shows along with the books too!

☑️ listen to new music!! this years spotify wrapped was garbo it only had like 3 albums and a bunch of other shit i always listen to so i gotta fix that lmfao

☑️ write new stories!! i am comforted by the shit ive been writing for the past like 7 years but if my screenplay class taught me anything its that there are a lot of stories to tell and i got so many ideas floating around in this noggin!! instead of an arbitrary word count, why dont i say write idk 3 new stories, start to finish, in whatever medium idc screenplay, short story, comic, twine WHATEVER!! do it!

☑️ eat new food!! lmao this one seems the most silly to me but ive never had indian food, ive never had [not really anyway] korean food, i want to find new restaurants and eat new food!!! yum!

☑️ go on a road trip!!

☑️ visit some place ive never been before!!

☑️ go on a hike??

☑️ go to mexico again

☑️ ride a scary rollercoaster you previously wouldnt have

☑️ go to a club

☑️ get silly drunk fr 

☑️ FUCK IT go on dates!! self date friend dates sister date cousin dates R- Romantic... dates ??? FUCK IT!!! YEAH!! DATE ALL UP IN THIS BITCH!!

☑️ learn to use blender

☑️ animate something 

☑️ make a big painting

☑️ cosplay ???? AHH

☑️ learn to roller skate lmao u bought the skates and were so excited for them!! 

☑️ go somewhere SUPER DARK and go see some real stars!!!! 

☑️ and to top it all off, throw the airbnb house party that we’ve been talking about for MONTHS lmao 

hmmmm,, i think thats a good enough list for now ?? another thing i wanted to accomplish.... that im scared to speak into existence bc then i cant back out of doing it...........and it doesnt align with the whole “new” spirit of 2021 but.......... i want to like start making apartments for rent????? like i want to have something of it to show by, if not the 8th anniversary then by the end of the year HHUFF THERE I SAID IT......... no turning back now.......... 

alright its almost midnight on.... whats this? its already jan. 1st??? lmao yeah fuck it i didnt keep up with anything i normally did this year who cares i made up the rules i can break them too lol  

so yeah 

we’ll see what this year brings us,,,,

hoo boy

[nananikki-hey]

ALL THOSE BOOTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DA SNAS

I did all my boys cause I got hit with all the inspiration.

How old were you when you & your F/O(s) first met?Sans: I was 18. He was (122) 24 in human terms.

Red: I was 19. He was (135) 26 in human terms.

Jaws: I was 16. He was (150) 29 in human terms. He was reaaaal hesitant about dating someone so young.

Did you & your F/O(s) get along at first or did it take time?Sans: We got a long like a house on fire almost immediately, though romantically speaking I was gone with a crush on him immediately. Took him a few months after.

Red: Red and I had a really rough start, he wasn’t too keen on humans or the idea of being friends with any since he came up to the surface and was met with racism. Though I’m a persistent jackass and didn’t leave him alone until I got him to crack and laugh at one of my jokes. By then he was the one that couldn’t leave me alone. Took almost a solid 2 months. Romantically, it didn’t even take close to as long, about a month after and we’d both fell for each other.

Jaws: OH THIS GUY- lemme tell you; he did not like me at ALL. I was a nervous wreck whole time I met him, being new to monsters in general, but he was a hulking mass of scaring that purposely intimidated me into the ground. Growling at me and not smiling at all, giving me the dark eyed stare. It wasn’t until I awkwardly stumbled over a pun that he kind of cracked a smile and I knew he wasn’t all bad. Took me meeting Crooks for him to really relax around me. Anyone who immediately liked his bro was good in his books. Romantically, he didn’t even touch the idea with a ten foot pole until I was 18, he didn’t want to come off as a creep who liked kids. Even then he’d complained about being too old for me. Though I’d already been gone with a crush on him for a solid year.

Who asked who out first?Sans: I asked him, though at the time it’d been more of a friend date.

Red: As soon as Red knew he wanted me, he very bluntly told me so and took me out.

Jaws: I did. Though I was flat out rejected at first, since he strongly disliked how young I was in comparison to him, in monster and human terms. I’d down right given up after, but after Tori explained to him a humans full life span and that I WAS indeed considered an adult, he’d given me a shot and asked me out.

Where did you go on a first date?Sans: Stargazing in the backyard using his old telescope, simple but magical.

Red: Out to Grillby’s, as he’d said; “Only the best for my Doll.”

Jaws: We’d stayed in and watched a movie. He was too shy to take me out on our first few dates, he hadn’t wanted anyone to see me out with him. He was really self conscious of his looks, and didn’t want anyone to give me shit for being with a monster.

Does your F/O have any silly nicknames for you?Sans: We call each other Squish and Squash occasionally. Cause I’m squishy, and he likes to squash me.

Red: He’ll call me Ripper cause I TORE MY PANTS THAT ONE TIME-

Jaws: Slip ‘n’ Slide. Cause I’ve a bad tendency to forget to take my socks off and end up slipping on tiles and polished wood a lot. Like, way too often.

What is your favourite thing about your F/O(s)?Sans: I love his eyes, and how they really convey his emotions. Heart eyes are a rare occurrence but I’ve only ever seen them happen for Pap and I so they’re special.

Red: His gold tooth. His ashamed of it, cause it’s a reminder of the first fight he’d ever lost, but that just makes me kiss it a lot more. He’s slowly starting to pout about it less.

Jaws: Just…him. His presence. Anytime he enters a room I just immediately feel safe and happy.

Do you like to cuddle with your F/O(s)?Sans: He’ll randomly just fall on me, wrap his arms around me and not get up. So even if I didn’t like it I’d have no choice.

Red: He likes to tickle me if I cuddle him, so I love it but at the same time he makes me want to kick him.

Jaws: he’s down for cuddles anytime, I just gotta sit in his lap and it’s cuddle city!

Tell a funny story about your F/O(s)Sans: During a game of Beer Pong at Grillby’s I accidentally threw a ping pong ball in his eye, it was rattling around in there for weeks until he just…sneezed it out.

Red: He’s a sleep talker. He’ll have full, nonsense conversations in his sleep. Once he’d confessed his love for his hot dog stand and I think they got married? I have it on tape and stored away for Anime Night so I can show Alphys and Undyne.

Jaws: He purrs sometime, but unintentionally, and when we’re cuddling. He vehemently denies it though.

When was your first kiss with your F/O(s)?Sans: On our third date, I initiated it cause he was too much of a flustered mess when I asked.

Red: First date, surprisingly chaste kiss on the cheek as a goodnight.

Jaws: A month after we started dating he finally gave into my prodding and we kissed. It was just a peck, he’d been too scared of accidentally nicking me with his teeth.

Who’s the big spoon?Sans: We switch, it just depends on if I’m prepared to get bruised by bones or not.

Red: He is, he will never ever ever be the little spoon….okay maybe here was that one time, but don’t tell anybody!

Jaws: It’s mostly him, cause he’s massive. But if he’s in need of comfort or extra assurance about himself, I’ll manage.

Do you & your F/O(s) go out a lot or tend to stay in more?Sans: We go out the most, stargazing is our thing. He’s also a fan of camping out in the forest.

Red: Will never say no to a lazy date in the house, but if he’s feeling good he’ll take me out to a fancy restaurant. He spoils me too much.

Jaws: We rarely go out for a date, he’s still too ashamed of himself, he’s getting better about it but we’ll still end up going somewhere secluded. Most public thing we’ve done is go to the movies.

How do you comfort your F/O(s) when they are upset?Sans: I can’t touch him when he’s initially upset, or in a majorly bad mood. But if he’s not too bad I’ll just silently hug him. He doesn’t like talking about things that upset him.

Red: I actually cant touch him at all until he’s completely cooled down. If he’s mad I leave him alone or he’ll lash out at me, if he’s sad I’ll sit and talk with him. He opens up occasionally when that’s the case, he cries a lot.

Jaws: First sign he’s upset is he’ll come pick me up, take me to his room, and just cuddle me. He doesn’t like talking things out, he just wants to hold me. I don’t push it and ask, the first time I did…well, I don’t want to give him another panic attack.

What’s your favourite activity you & your F/O(s) do togetherDoes sex count-//SLAP

Sans: Stargazing.

Red: If you ask him, it’s sex. He just won’t admit he likes to just sit and watch me do things. Just being around each other is nice.

Jaws: Taking naps together. We both end up getting really good sleep.

What was your first argument with your F/O(s) about?Sans: About moving in together, he didn’t want to put me at risk, since they’d been having vandalism problems.

Red: About our relationship. He was still nervous about the whole Monster/Human thing.

Jaws: He’d been a bit controlling and tried to put me on a curfew, not allowed to be out past 7pm. I argued back cause I would have lost my job. Turns out he’d just been worried cause of the amount of stabbing sin my country. So we’d comprised and on nights I worked he’d pick me up, and if I went out without him I’d text him every hour. It does get tiresome but I know he’s just anxious.

Who cooks for who most often?Sans: Ha, Papyrus spoils us both. But Sans will occasionally bake me something for special occasions. Or if he thinks he fucked up and wants to get on my good side.

Red: Boss handles the cooking and we are both banned from the kitchen cause neither of us can cook to his standards. Red will take me out for fancy food though.

Jaws: He’s taken over cooking since we’ve started dating. Food was a big thing Underground, and Sans considers it a major show of affection to cook me food. I’m not complaining, he’s food’s fucking amazing.

Where is their favorite place to be kissed?Sans: The neck vertebrae, makes him hot and bothered.

Red: he’s a horn dog, loves a kiss on the pelvis.

Jaws: He says he likes it when I kiss the cracks in his skull, I don’t do it often though, it makes him happy cry. And he hates crying.

Is your f/o ticklish?Sans: this fucker- t h i s f u c k e r- is ticklish on his funny bone, and his funny bone ONLY.

Red: touch the back of his skull just were the vertebrae connect and his first knee jerk reaction will be to punch whoever did it in the face. His incredibly ticklish there, and his spine.

Jaws: he ain’t ticklish anywhere, his magic is stretched too thin to be particularly sensitive anywhere.

How would you describe your f/o’s laugh?Sans: High pitched wheezing, the exact opposite of his voice. It’s almost like giggles.

Red: It’ll start with a snort then desolve into loud bellows of deep laughter. He’ll slap his knee or a table to accompany it.

Jaws: Raspy chuckles. Though occasionally he’ll let out a wheezy bellow Laughter right from the gut.

What’s their favorite kind if date?Sans: Stargazing, particularly when it’s clear out. He’s started to study astrology so it never gets old for him.

Red: He likes the type of dates that start out wholesome and warm, that slowly devolve into teasing and end with a passionate fuck in bed.

Jaws: He likes snuggle dates on the couch, with a nice comedy movie or when we read together.

Do you propose to them or do they propose to you?Sans: he’ll propose to me in the showiest way possible. A mariachi band will 100% be involved.

Red: he’s gonna do it quietly, in private. So he can be tender about it without worrying about prying eyes.

Jaws: he’d 100% reject me if I proposed. So he’d have to be the one proposing, much like Red he’d do it privately, so any rejection he’d potentially receive wouldn’t be public. He has too much anxiety already.

Does your f/o want kids?Sans: He wants a girl. Says he’s had enough of raising boisterous boys from when he had to raise Paps.

Red: Just wants a kid. He’d love to be a dad, though he doesn’t admit that a lot.

Jaws: He doesn’t want children. He’s too ashamed of himself and what he’d had to do Underground. The memories of some of the ways the kids died Underground still get to him.

What does your f/o smell like?Sans: Bones, ketchup, way to much perfume and pine trees.

Red: He’s got a metallic smell to him, kinda like rusted metal. Also mustard.

Jaws: no matter how hard he tries to wash it out, there’s always the lingering smell of blood left on his bones. He also smells like stake and coffee.

How does your f/o sleep? (some examples: Do they toss and turn or are they still? Do they snore? Do they talk in their sleep? Are they sleepwalkers?)Sans: Twitches like a dog and snores in his sleep, occasionally he’ll mutter nonsense. He a surprisingly heavy sleeper.

Red: Sleeps like the dead, completely still. Snores quietly but is a major sleep talker.

Jaws: He doesn’t sleep often, about 4 times a week but when he does he rarely stays asleep. He’s a very light sleeper and occasionally sleep walks around the house.

Does your f/o like video games, or do they prefer books?Sans: he loves both, don’t make him chose.

Red: Give him Bloodbourne, Dark Souls or Skyrim and he’ll be gone for weeks. He also has a weirdly morbid fixation with Pokemon. “so ther’ monsters right? an’ I get ta fight ‘em to tha death? sweet.”

Jaws: he prefers a nice quiet book over video games, especially violent ones. But he likes the Harvest Moon games.

Does your f/o like movies? If yes, what kinds?Sans: give this man a sci-fi movie and he’ll be completely enthralled, his eyes will get real wide and he’ll be super focused. Also classic comedy movies are his jam.

Red: Horror movies and comedies. If it’s both he’ll watch it like 10 fucking times in a row and laugh just as loudly at the jokes.

Jaw: Please make sure the movie doesn’t contain blood, it could trigger him into a panic attack. He likes wholesome or dirty comedies, and a few fantasy films; like Harry Potter!

Does your f/o have any habits?Sans: Sans…baby…PICK UP YOUR SHIT.

Red: ALSO PICK UP YOUR SHIT. And stop putting the empty milk back in the fridge!

Jaws: He picks at his crack when he’s anxious, or will drum his fingers loudly and fast. He also forgets to take care of himself a lot, I have to gently remind him to eat or shower.

When they smile how does it make you feel?Sans: When its genuine I can never stop myself from grinning like a dork back. Makes me happy to see him happy.

Red: He smirks more than smiles, and it has got me really horny on more than one occasion. But genuine, gentle smiles have got me giggling. Which immediately makes him a flustered mess.

Jaws: whenever he genuinely smiles I actually have to fight back tears. He’s getting better, but he doesn’t get genuinely happy enough to smile often.

What your favorite word to hear your f/o say?Sans: “Nekaya.” My name, cause whenever he says it, it’s usually followed by a lovely surprise or genuine compliment.

Red: “Sweetheart.” Depending on the tone this word does all sorts of things to me.

Jaws: “Love.” He isn’t open with his feelings enough, but when he is it’s always a special moment.

Can your describe your f/o’s voice?Sans: Deep and lulling. Like what a male siren might sound like.

Red: Deep and growly, the slightest shift in tone can make or break your day.

Jaws: deep, quiet and raspy. He doesn’t talk for too long.

Can you describe how your f/o kisses?Sans: Slow and lazy, true to his nature. He falls asleep kissing me a lot.

Red: Just…rough. Even when his gentle there’s an edge to it.

Jaws: hesitant but sincere, like he’s giving it his all but he’s expecting you to pull away.

[trunkzbriefs]

ok good lord this is a lot to unpack...! first of all i TOOOTALLY forgot i sent this so like. finally some good fucking entertainment

anyway second of all, lets be real. taking a clearly exaggerated, goofy ass reblog as a real "graphic violent threat" is just a tactic to make people feel sorry for yall. if you cant handle me making a dramatic ass "ohhh im gonna throw rocks at you and haunt you!" post please... like... take a break from the internet man. posts like mine and "im coming for your eyes" (which is again a pretty fucking basic, nonspecific goofy ass """threat""" on the internet) are nowhere NEAR comparable to r*pe threats, and god i would never condone sending them and i hope anyone who does genuinely gets their arm broken or some shit cause thats gross as hell.

but there are different levels to this shit. I should not have to explain that an exaggerated "im going to throw rocks at u until ur skull cracks and when u heal at the hospital im gonna haunt you with a swoooorddd" post, unrealistic and clearly completely made up from the top of my head, carries a way different weight than a r*pe threat, something that can be and frequently is carried out in real life with imaginable and understandable trauma- it has reprocussions that we understand in the real world from others experiences, that can be easily drawn to our heads because of how much it can be talked about. having rocks thrown at your head and being haunted with a sword does not immediately come with all of the knowledge the other thing comes with and does not carry the same weight, as what the fuck do you think when you see "im going to throw rocks at your head until it cracks?" me following you and throwing pebbles at your head slowly until you get a goddamn small crack (which is what i was imagining fun fact lol behind the scenes!) or me just throwing some heavy rocks at you? yeah, thatll hurt, but youre not going to imagine that pain and the trauma after it because thats such a weirdly specific occurance that you dont hear about often. what about the sword haunting part? clearly unrealistic! it doesnt carry the same goddamn weight! its like comparing me wishing a unicorn to stab you with me actually wishing for like someone in an alley to stab you (which let me make it clear before anyone tries to take anything out of context i do not. its an example because clearly i have to dramatically break this down for yall.) one of those is completely unrealistic and the other can and HAS happened to people frequently and you know the estimated pain and weight of the trauma that comes with it due to how much its talked about! literally explaining this point was so frustratingly hard and i KNOW yall get it but like. if i repeated myself like 6 times typing this its because explaining concepts that should be common sense is hard as hell. if it was confusing i will fix it when i wake up but the last part of it should get my point across fine. acting like these things are comparable is very much just a tactic to pretend like you guys get ALL horrible threats from mean, scary antis and not mostly dumb ones.

pretending that the basic silly posts you come across targetting antis are some violent, graphic in depth threats is literally just you trying to play the victim. there ARE some horrible posts out there and YES god those are fucked up BUT pretending that these minor things are ANYWHERE near that is simply put, silly. especially when none of the "antis" ive ever seen get things as silly as that. its always shit like yall telling people they deserve their trauma... aint that funny?

if we wanna talk anti culture which... isnt real btw but lets pretend it is do u wanna think for a second why "antis," who are mostly made up of minors and traumatized people (not saying anti antis cant be traumatized so dont even bring up that bullshit, we aint talkin about that right now) feel the need to make (-again, mostly goofy-) loose ""threats"" to get the point across that they don't want people into nasty shit to interact with them?

do you think about why they have to act like that for people to understand that they dont want that content to pop up so easily, or that they want people to understand how fucked up it is?

you lot yell at the top of your lungs and preach changing views and listening and accepting others or whatever the fuck but you're truly the nastiest bunch out there. if were going to bring up that a couple of "antis" can take it too far then we also need to bring up that 90% of "your side" are vile grown ass adults who feel the need to mock and purposely trigger people who don't want to see fetishization of the trauma that ruined their lives! your side is full of people adding shitty 2012 ~sherlock dr who xD!!~ esque gifsets to posts of people trying their HARDEST to get it through your thick fucking skulls that yes, fiction does affect reality! that yes, the "harmless" content you produce can be used to groom people a lot more easier than other content can!

also brainrot being ableist is such a fucking reach my god why am i spending time typing this out for you when youre clearly not gonna get it. hopefully some poor soul following you starts collecting the dots at least and starts realizing how godawful you freaks are

anyway this is messy as hell, so i might edit it layer when i wake up so its not as ramble-y. jsyk. cause i know yall really like to pull out the "edited because youre wrong!" thing. i said what i said with my whole damn chest and if i said somethin off ill bring it up in my next reblog. goodnight tumblr stan trunks briefs <3

hi! dropping by to say that 1. im very offended i didnt get @ in ur violent anti post ): (im itemcrash!) 2. i have no idea why you thought throwing rocks is comparable to r/pe threats, like why put that in the same post. you can make a serious posts about gross threats without also putting in silly shit like "im gonna take ur eyes!" like cmon. also acting like 'antis' dont get gross threats? lol 3. i hope you get cured of ur brainrot soon

Why in god’s name would I purposefully sick the assholes who threaten others on a post that I intended to be informational/educational?

Anyway. I could get onto a whole debate about sexual violence versus physical violence and how society perceives the two, but let’s just leave it at: physical threats are not “less bad” than rape threats. You are not just “throwing rocks”, throwing rocks is ridiculously understating what you said you would do. You wanted to bash J-AT’s skull in with rocks until it fractured open. Yes, a completely fine thing to say, and not at all comparable with rape threats. The trauma of having your skull forcibly cracked open sure would be less than the trauma of being raped. Totally!

Threats of taking eyes are not fucking silly. It is not fucking silly to describe how you want to gauge someone’s eyes out. Describing graphically how you would like to vivisect people and torture them is not normal, it’s not fucking funny, and it’s not a trivial prospect legally either. Death and torture threats are taken very seriously, because they are very serious. The fact that you think “I want to scoop out your eyeballs with an icecream scooper” isn’t a “gross threat” says a lot about you and anti culture as a whole. Like, damn.

Accusing people of having brainrot is also a grossly ableist shitshow, but I don’t need to get into that now. This frankly speaks for itself.

[tfw-no-tennis]

huntoxhunto

we watched 2 whole more eps but we’re abt to vacay so i better recap this biz now before i forget

ok so we finished the zoldyck arc and uhhhh gotta say we werent expecting like any of that to happen lol 

ok ill back up so we start w/killuas mom (i dont think we ever heard her name) confronting gon & co....and canary (i lov her) is not dead which i assumed but thank goodness. 

zoldyck mom was totally using nen. also she is off her rocker gotta say. tho that visor is super cool, albeit confusing - is it connected to a bunch of security cameras or something? how does she see all that shit? 

granpa is wild. his tunic thing that says ‘one kill a day’ or w/e is kinda hilarious, it reminds me of the ‘apple a day keeps the dr away’ saying...a murder a day keeps the....idk away????

i love that killua makes it abundantly clear that he couldve like escaped at any time lol. also tho why didnt he just escape....baby boy just leave 

killua getting all serious and threatening milluki if he messes with gon....my boys got it BAD 

this family has so many communication issues hvbjadkfbjaskdfj nobody is on the same page at all 

the butler guy continued to remind me of kuro one piece this whole time...i was waiting for him to bust out the ridiculous cat claws

oh my GOD wait the flashbacks of EVEN BABIER KILLUA were so precious ;_; he was soooo tiny and cute oh my god. so precious. and canary was also so tiny and cute 

baby killua really just wanted a friend :(((( and canary wanted to be friends w/him but knew that mom zoldyck would kill her if she overstepped like that :( thats so tragic mannnn

also canary is so cool man. her beating up all those guys was epic

ok that whole scene with killua and his dad was like, such a rollercoaster lmao

like....it was all over the place for me...first of all the ambiance was wack, the room lighting was weird and im p sure killuas seat was an electric chair??? and the dad was in a coffin thing..???? like....interesting aesthetic choices all over the place here 

also i see now where killua got his hair and also his catboy tendencies. the zoldyck catboy genes seem to trace back to zoldyck dad, who has kinda scary cat eyes 

also im guessing that the dad is the blood zoldyck and the mom is the one who married in. they sure seem to put a lot of emphasis on like, family legacy or w/e, but the two parents certainty go abt it in different ways 

the whole convo b/w killua and his dad was wild, it totally didnt go where i was expecting it to. his dad was weirdly chill while also being super intense? 

killua happily telling stories abt gon was so sweet....baby boy baby 

and his dad telling him ‘never betray your friends’ was rlly interesting...i wonder what his reasons were for saying that 

cause then he tells killua he can leave, and killua does, but then dad zoldyck tells mom zoldyck (i rlly need to find out their names) that he thinks killua will come back on his own time....inch resting 

i wonder if dad zoldyck made killua promise that bc he was trying to set killua up for failure - as in, he tells killua to never betray his friends, thinking that killua inevitably will & be distraught abt it, and then turn back to the zoldyck family when this happens. idk

also its interesting to me that zoldyck dad wants killua to lead the family someday. like, illumi is right there, hes the oldest and clearly dedicated to being an evil assassin, and he seems p good at it...i wonder why killua is the favorite....the grandpa (i think) did say that killua is Special(tm) which...yes he is a special baby boy i love him. i wanna see more zoldyck family flashbacks/interactions so we can see what led them to this point 

oh lord that reminds me of illumi briefly appearing in the killua flashback and hes just like, suddenly there, wearing some gay ass sweater....like ok dude did you just come back from the Evil Assassin Library or st?????

that reminds me too, ruth tells me that apparently in the manga illumi and hisoka got married or something???? to which i say, thats fucking wild, but also it makes sense, those two are both horrible and disgusting and they absolutely deserve each other hbvajvhsdfjbak peak evil nasty gay rep, i love it. i cant wait to see whatever the fuck the context to that is bc, thats fucking wild

ok back to the plot so like its so wild to me how smoothly everything went hvubsjduhfbjsh like....killuas dad was rlly like ok u can leave and killua just went to the butler house and then canary woke up and was like ok gon & crew lets go to the butler house to see killua, fuck the rules, (and she didnt even get killed for ‘disobedience’ or w/e, or more likely - in most big shounen, she wouldve been attacked by the other evil butlers and gon wouldve had to fight them)

killua Rlly was like fuck this place im leaving my boyfriend and his parents are here to pick me up [puts on gayest outfit he owns and skateboards away] hvbhsjdfbjdkf

i love killuas weird gay preteen fashion so far and i cant wait to see more 

killua telling the butler guy to let him know as SOON as gon gets there cause he wants to see him AS SOON AS HE CAN ;_; bro they r....in love 

of course the butler is trickey tho lmao, any other shounen this wouldve turned into an 8 ep long fight scene sequence where gon has to fight the butlers in order to see killua 

and the of course gon is the same way, gon is like i need to see killua RIGHT NOW take me to him!!! ohhh my god babies

the whole coin game was wild, it was funny when the other butlers got involved too lmao 

when gon was like ‘hey leorio can i see your knife’ i was like OH NO I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. and i was right bc OWWWWW baby boy oh my god!!!! but that seems to have solved it even tho thats NOT how swelling works at ALL- 

anyways gon is a cute smart good boy and i also find it funny how killua eventually gets impatient and just busts in on this whole dramatic situation (and the tension immediately deescalates as a result lmao) 

tangent but god its so funny seeing all these butler guys deferring to killua, an actual 12 yr old....i wanna see the hilarious and hijink-filled results of killua being raised as a rich spoiled assassin prince. thats a lethal combo thats gotta result in some wildly skewed perceptions on how things work, especially paired with gon ‘probably eats dirt for fun and sleeps in trees’ freecess 

godddd gon and killuas lil reunion is SOOO cute they were so happy to see each other ;_; bro they are SO cuteeeee augh. two tiny babies

killua being like oh hi also uh kurapika andddd [looks at smudged writing on hand] lorpo 

hvhhbajfbs dont do my man leorio like that killua hes a hardworking father 

the fact that they just like. LEAVE...thats so wild. i cant believe how little fighting this arc had. this all wrapped up SO much faster than i could have ever anticipated lmao 

where the heck was alluka!? i assumed she’d show up here but uhhhh guess not......in the silhouette shot of all the zoldycks she and killua were holding hands ;_; my fucking uwus bro 

we also didnt see the grandma or great grandpa so im guessing theyll appear later 

gon being like fuck it im not using my hunters license til i punch hisoka in the fucking face hvbhahsfbjsk thats hilarious 

also a convenient way to let him have his hunters license but not utilize it til later in the story...its so early for him to have achieved that big chunk of his goal, which just shows that hxh is Not your typical shounen and isnt gonna just be centered around gons quest to become a hunter 

so we finally found out what hisoka said to kurapika....just as i thought, it was st to do w/the phantom troupe. so theres a handy setup for the yorknew city arc later. bam 

hisoka just being like ‘hey meet me in this (presumably) very large city on this date. no i will not tell you where in the city to meet me. bye seeya there’ 

tbf hisoka is very hard to miss 

god when they arrive and kurapika is just like ok well we got killua so im out lol bye everyone....bro hvbjkhgbfjhdksfhjk that felt so abrupt 

and then leorio was like oh yeah same i gotta go study time to take the fantasy MCAT or w/e

AND THEY BOTH LEFT....now gon and killua r chilling but im like oh my god no leorio kurapika come back, we need some (questionable) adult supervision over here 

and like immediately killua is like ok gon do you have money. and of Course gon doesnt have money. so killua is like well you need money and you need to train so you can deck hisoka, so lets go to a fantasy version of an underground fighting ring! this is why kurapika and leorio needed to stay 

tho they probably wouldve just gone along with it 

they did all promise to meet in yorknew city, but thats apparently like 6 months away. are gon and killua rlly gonna spend 6 months at heavens arena

the part where killua draws the diagram demonstrating how much of a n00b gon is....hvbajdkhfbhajskf

AND THEN when he drew himself into the diagram and was like :3c wow im so modest HBJHSKHDFHBJS that was so funny

it was like that post thats like ‘you can tell when a cats pupils change and they just shift into Silly Mode’ thats what killua looked like...catboy

so thats basically it i think, gon and killua are heading to heavens arena to join fight club or whatever. tournament arc time! 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

i doubt this is the last weve seen of the zoldyck family. i mean we havent even met 3 of them, and we barely saw the ones we did meet...idk when theyll come back but i suspect theyll be making some big money moves later on and fucking shit up somehow 

i think maybe illumi or someone will like, spy on killua sometimes to keep track of him. or theyll track him by other means

ill use the prediction corner to reflect on incorrect predictions so heres a few. i rlly thot killua was gonna be more edgy than he is but hes rlly just a good boy huh. like hes a gay baby assassin catboy but hes so cute and good too. he just wants to live his life and hang out with his tiny bf like... omg :’) 

also i thot hisoka held a totally different narrative role lbvahkfjhjjaksfl i thot he was like main villain guy....hes more like an annoying creepy clown dude who (probably) shows up a lot to bother the main cast. we’ll see, but thats what i think of him now

like i thought hisoka would be like p1 dio, where hed be/quickly become a powerful antagonist who would amass a bunch of followers/minions (when actually the only person he seems to hang out w/is illumi, and theyre more like equals than an evil guy/minion dynamic)...or like i thought hisoka would be very well known as a scary evil guy but nope he was just another participant in the hunter exam, albeit a weird freaky one whose rancid vibes everyone seemed to pick up on 

anyways actual predictions, i think hisoka is gonna be at heavens arena, which would be super funny. gon is like im gonna train to beat hisoka and he shows up to do that and hisokas just there like >;) hey

i think if i had to guess, the zoldycks will show up again (in a plot important way) at the end of the yorknew arc/before the greed island arc. i know basically nothing abt any of the arcs but i do know the order they go in so theres that

i do think illumi will show up earlier than the other zoldycks tho, since he seems to be out doing his own thing more than the rest. also we still really havent resolved the whole mind control thing that im still convinced of 

i think nen will finally be introduced/alluded to heavily in this arc...or like, characters will use nen and gon will be like whoa whats that 

i think killua knows what nen is...maybe? it would make sense since im sure all the zoldycks can use it (at least, we saw mom zoldyck use it, probably)

can killua use nen already? that would be pretty funny. i dont think so tho. maybe u learn nen at a certain age. i have no idea what nen is 

also isnt gons nen power the power to like, turn into a really buff version of himself or something. how the fuck does that work 

ok enough nonsense its bedtime zzzzz