#if this was u... im a little bummed by your actions bro

[hyper-revenge-sio]

This Michael deadass just took me to the hatch, closed it on my face, THEN he took me to an exit gate and let me open it (after I asked permission) and fucking killed me anyways

Michaels are on a whole different level of cruel, I swear lmao

[bluecollardumbass]

It ain’t that I’m a dumbass.  I did OK in school ... I just fuckin hated it.  Day after day sittin in the same desk in the same row under the same buzzing lights with the same teacher’s voices buzzing like flies on a corpse.  

I graduated HS ok, too.  Wasn't like, class prez or nothin, but I passed with flying Cs.  Didn’t have much of a social life.  Kind of a loner.  Watched a lot of TV.  Never really got into reading books, mostly cuz my stepdad who was a REAL redneck burned em all one time when I pissed him off.  To get back at him, I never read another book again.  I got real into cars for awhile.  Still love Jeeps and big fuckin trucks.  Then I started smokin weed.  Aw, fuck man, that shit changed everything.  Suddenly my life was awesome.  Alls I needed to worry about was running out, and it seemed like that was impossible - weed was everywhere.  It was the piece I was missin the thing I needed to be totally chill.  And once I found it it was like awesome.  I was a stoner.  Still am, actually.  This aint a story about how I changed or nothin.  

But I’m not a dumbass.  I mighta hated school n shit but like I learn shit fast.  And the 1st thing I learned was that I don't like being kept inside.  I fuckin love being outside.  I love being in the sun and I love being in the rain.  Aint nothin like a good thunderstorm.  Cold don't even bother me too much, unless its like fuckin below zero, then that shit gets old real fast.  So when I had my options to be like, a guy with a job n shit, I was workin for a supermarket and I was divvied up between doing the shit on register and pushing carts n the parking lot.  Obviously you can figure out which one I liked more, so I was happy doing that for awhile.  But then the manger found out that I was getting high on the job - I mean come on, romeing around in the parking lot, blissed out on some mad trip sativa bro, you can't fuckin falt me for that, rite?  I guess sum fuckin soccer mom in her minivan narced on me.  Didn't want her little boy learnin bad shit.  Well sweetie, its a fucked up world and your only doin your kid a bad one by hiding him from it.  You playing a losing game, darlin.  Besides, whats so bad about weed?

So yea, lost that job.  I kinda bummed around my moms for awhile, got unemployment, but got all kindsa antsy n shit.  It was around then I took up smoking butts, probably cuz I was bored, probably cuz I had nothin else to do but smoke butts on the porch n drink Coors Lite.  Man those were sum great days, Ill tell ya, but they didn't last cuz my mom got pissed (whys everybody always getting so fuckin pissed for?) an kicked me out.  Didn't really have nowhere else to go, so I kinda slept around outside in the back of my F-150 for awhile.  Fuckin love that truck, its a ‘92, with the single cab.  I figured I could bum around for awhile.  Sleep in the truck.  It was summertime after all and I had a lil bit of cash.  So I did that, drove around in the woods in places.  Ran into this guy who lived down the street from me when I was a kid, told me his roommate just up n left, and he needed somebody to move in.

So I drove the truck down further south then I ever been, and I moved all my shit (mostly just clothes n crap, all in trash bags) into Erik’s trailer.  We hit it right off - he was a bro, real chill, 420 friendly.  His fridge was stocked with Coors Lite and he had a ready supply of Jager.  He told me he worked on this site with this group of dudes and he'd just gone from job to job and site to site with em, all getting payed under the table.  We stayed up late drinkin and smokin and laughin like fuckin teenagers until the fire was ash and our packs were empty.  Somewhere around past 3 in the mornin, Erik told me he could probably get me a job on the site, too, if I wanted.  It was good money - he had enuf to buy his own trailer and a truck, too!

I aint never worked construction before.  And like I said, I aint a dumbass.  I know what kinda work that is - hard fuckin work, sometimes bone-breaking work.  But it was sumthin about the way Erik said it, or maybe cuz I was so fuckin hammered and wasted, that I agreed to go with him on Monday.  He talked about it for awhile, but I was drifting in and out, didnt really hear what he said.  I was floating on all kindsa colors of clouds, and the stars above were all winking at me, like they knew somethin I didn't.  

I’m not gonna say either that I’m like Mr Muscles or whatever.  I was never skinny, but closer to wiry.  Weird looking, if you ask me, but whatever.  I don't waste my time on mirrors n shit.  Just throw on whatever and hit the door.  But I gotta say, after some paperwork and a handshake or two, I was kind of enjoying the way it felt.  All day, I was in a sort of haze, lifting some shit here and carrying some shit there.  I wasn't any skilled laborer or nothin.  I didn't know how to do jack shit.  But Im a quick learner.  And I had Erik with me as like a sorta guide for the day, to like show me whats gotta be done.  I saw him talkin with the foreman, the only guy here wearin a shirt n tie, and the foreman was listenin real hard, so Erik’s gotta be some kinda bigshot around here.  Before I knew it, the end of the day showed up and I was wipin my brow making faces cuz I had dust in my teeth.

And everybody on the site was cool, and I liked bein outside.  I could get high if I wanted to before I went to work, which was fuckin cool as fuck.... I could smoke butts all day, and everything was mad chill.  So thats how I became a construction guy.  Don't feel like much of a story, but somebody gotta do it, right?  Turns out that somebody is me.  And maybe I am a little slow on the uptake, turns out.  Some of the guys on the site call me dumbass, but I don't mind.  Its just kinda like a joke, because I do dumb things sometimes.  And I don't talk so good, I get words mixed up.  But doesn't mean I’m a dumbass.  I know Im good at what Im good at - or something.  I aint that good at communicating, they said in HS, an I guess thats true.  But fuck it, cuz I got some fuckin dank weed to smoke with Erik tonite and we gonna get fucked up on Jager n listen to this new album he got of this like metal band.  The last album they did we listened to was all like weird whispery shit n like backward talking, it was cool but weird.  Man I smoked so many butts that nite.  Don't remember much of it, but thats what happens when I hit the Jager, haha.  Just make sure I got a Monster for the morning after, gonna need at least two!!

So yea maybe this is like a story about how I got happy, or whatever, haha.  Turns out school aint for everyone and you don't need to be inside all ur fuckin life an u can do what u want and think how u want.  There’s this big election comin up too, an like, usually I don't get into that shit, but I was talking to Erik an he was like yea man, u should vote the way u feel, u know.  Nothin gets done unless u take action, and that was like, so fuckin deep n shit.  But who would I vote for?  Erik shrugged and said that he thought I should vote how I felt, the one I liked the most.  So I did.  And he won!  How cool is that.  Erik even got me a red hat with his name on it to celebrate.  Sometimes I listen to him speakin and I agree with what he says and does.  Erik says he voted for him, too, and sometimes he talks about politics n shit, and I kinda have to tune it out.  He just keeps talking an talking and I kinda blank out for awhile.  But then I need anuther beer, and so I kinda like, come out of it.  

Man, Erik will say, laughing.  Politics really puts u to sleep, huh.  

Yea, I say.  Crack another Monster, I need a lil pick me up, haha

And UFC is on tonite, can't wait to see who ends up in the Octagon this time.  Got a cool UFC shirt coming in the mail.  It’s funny, I actually had this dream that a guy was wearing that, and I thought it was cool, so I bought it.  Sometimes I have these dreams about all these photographs of these dudes who kinda look like me but like not like me at the same time.  We wearing the same clothes, anyway.  Erik’s helped with that, too.  He knows that I usually just grab whatever, but when I have to decide, I get all stalled out.  He’s helping me by just picking em out for me, and thats awesome, Im thankfull for that.   

Ok thats all for now.  Maybe Ill write more later.