#if this sounds like a high school style written essay it’s because my literature teacher has me held hostage

[dropletsofraine]

So Jay’s yellow lightning

So I said if my last post got to 60 notes I’d actually make a post on this and a certain mutual decided to be funny. Now here I am so allow me to share my thoughts on the change of color in Jay’s lighting because BOY do I have ideas. I’d also like to state this does have spoilers for part two of season two for Dragons Rising so if you haven’t seen it, LOOK AWAY!

so as we’ve seen, Jay’s lightning changes to a yellow rather than the blue is always has been. We really get to see this in one of the newest episode of Dragons Rising during Inside the Maze. So why would his lightning change like this?? And why am I over analyzing the color of a lego’s powers?? Because I think that this color change really does have a sort of significance.

Sure you COULD argue and say that the change in color was just a stylist choice to better fit with Dragons Rising animation but I don’t think that’s all it is. If you look at this image of Jay during the flash back with him and Cole fighting over the remote, his lightning is still blue. The lightning does not flicker between blue and yellow like it has been shown during the present setting of Dragons Rising, so it doesn’t seem to just be a stylistic choice.

Now onto Agent Walker. We get a brief scene of Jay as Agent Walker during part 1 of season 2 where his powers are shown. When we do see his lightning here, we see bits of yellow in it. Remember this is now the current timeline of Dragons Rising, so there’s clearly been some sort of change between that flash back, and the merge. But even here when the yellow does first show up his lightning isn’t completely yellow, it still has more blue than yellow to it. This is before he had been ‘saved’ by Ras, when he was still apart of the Administration. Or rather before he had shattered his goodness.

Into the Maze. What an episode. We FINALLY get to see Jay use his powers in battle here. When he does make his appearance in front of the ninja, we see him show off his lightning. NOW it is more yellow than blue, and at this point Jay has not exactly shattered his goodness yet however he’s very close to that point, as when he does put the mask on and Arin exclaim he’s going to shatter his goodness, we hear Lloyd say “I’m afraid he already has.” Hm. Kind of a strange thing to say, even if he WASN’T fighting Nya at this moment, it’s still strange to hear Lloyd so quickly assume Jay has lost himself. So, Lloyd himself must have sensed or seen some sort of change indicating that Jay is different. Now onto his fight with Nya, we see him use his powers to his full extent. His lightning is almost completely yellow at this point with only small bits of blue here and there.

The wolf mask. At this point, Jay has now used the wolf mask and shatterspin, he has shattered his goodness. From this point on, his lightning is almost completely yellow as he battles with Nya. Once he loses the fight and has his powers taken, it is shown as completely yellow when Roby takes it into the Elemental Cup. Even when Nya has Jay’s powers, they are still shown as yellow however as she shoots it up into the air, it does appear to be a bit more blue once again. And how does his lighting being yellow tie into Jay’s lost goodness?

Yellow. This color can have many many different meanings and different symbolism. However, yellow has had a HISTORY of being associated with betrayal. In history with the Spanish Inquisition, in religious history, yellow has always been connected to betrayal. People seen as traitors were tied to the color yellow. What else can yellow also tie to? Warnings and danger. The gradual change of Jay’s lighting becoming more and more yellow, Jay is coming closer and closer to losing himself. Yellow is a perfect color to use for Jay in his current state in Ninjago. It’s a bright color that grabs attention, bur can be almost overwhelming or even abrasive at times.

On a final note about his change from blue to yellow, let’s focus in on not the gain of yellow, but the loss of blue in his lighting. I’ve talked about the different meaning of yellow and how this can tie into Jay slowly becoming disconnected from himself and who he once was, but what about the blue in his powers? What can that signify?

Blue is a color commonly associated with memory, as it is a color the brain most easily and frequently remembers, such as notes written in blue pen may be easier to remember than notes written in black. What else has blue been known to represent? Tranquility, stability, and loyalty. All attributes Jay has lost as his lightning slowly changes. Even as Agent Walker, with his lightning being mostly blue still we see him still have hints of himself in there. However during Inside the Maze, he’s a completely different person. Ras’s influence is a lot scarier than you’d think, and just by looking at Jay we can see, that this is no longer the Jay Walker everyone knows. He’s lost himself and who knows when we’ll get him back.

IN CONCLUSION-

I am mentally unwell, and probably had no reason to type out this entire analysis over the color of lighting that Jay has. But here I am and maybe you guys wanna read this for whatever reason idk. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I’m going to go pass out now.

[theetangerine]

What it’s real like being a Dyslexic

Today's  post shall be about Dyslexia from  "Dyslexia the Gift". Well I didn't know that I was blessed with such an omnipotent power. Thank you Dyslexia the Gift for Awakening my abilities. Anyways this post is just my rebuttal to this list as an Anthropomorphic Tangerine with severe dyslexia. Here we go: General:

1. Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.

Ahhhhh.......... so I am all those big words that I can't spell or pronounce.

BTW who ever came up with the word Dyslexia is a troll cause you knew damn well I can't spell that.

2. Labelled lazy, dumb, careless, immature, “not trying hard enough,” or “behavior problem.”

Hey I am not lazy just because Suzie spends her the night figuring out Algebra questions and I on the other hand will look at her formula, "Copy and Paste" for myself and even then at the end of the day I stilled will have learned it. Einstein did say there are different types of genius.

3.Isn’t “behind enough” or “bad enough” to be helped in the school setting.

Let's just pretend it didn't take me 3 times to read this inorder to understand it. Anywhose.

The school suggested to my parents to take me to get tested. Although I think it was because they wanted justify their discrimination against me.

 4.   High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.

Lies. I failed in both.

5.Feels dumb; has poor self-esteem; hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.

*clear throat* In best Beyonce voice "I'm survivor................"

6.Talented in art, drama, music, sports, mechanics, story-telling, sales, business, designing, building, or engineering.

 Ohh.......come on I suppose to be talented in these fields why didn't Dyslexia tell me this.

7.Seems to “Zone out” or daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.

They were in the Zone like in Soul

woahh..... that was a bar.

8.Difficulty sustaining attention; seems “hyper” or “daydreamer.”

 As I type this I peer out through the window wondering if clouds really are made of precipitation or that is what the Illuminati wants you to think.

 9. Learns best through hands-on experience, demonstrations, experimentation, observation, and visual aids.

Crash Course history is my religion.

Vision, Reading, and Spelling:

10.Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.

 Starts going in the 4th dimension if I pick up a book.  

11.Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.

Algebra is not for dyslexics. You mix letters and numbers together. Mathematicians were not thinking of dyslexics when Algebra was created.

 12. Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.

Yes Yes . Truly feal for all of of my teacher who read my essays.

13.Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.

I am Percy Jackson so I am a god.

 14.Seems to have difficulty with vision, yet eye exams don’t reveal a problem.

 I actually had glasses.

15.Extremely keen sighted and observant, or lacks depth perception and peripheral vision.

Yet another sentence I can't understand. Hold up let me go and look up “depth perception” so I can understand this sentence, real quick.........................This is true.  

 16.Reads and rereads with little comprehension.

Reading number fifteen (15) proves this.

 17.Spells phonetically and inconsistently.

 Hooked on Phonics told me otherwise.

Hearing and Speech:

18.Has extended hearing; hears things not said or apparent to others; easily distracted by sounds.

Being an only child while being home alone this ability doesn't have any benefits.

 19.Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress; mispronounces long words, or transposes phrases, words, and syllables when speaking.

 I feel called out.

Writing and Motor Skills:

20.Trouble with writing or copying; pencil grip is unusual; handwriting varies or is illegible.

 I may have changed my writing style multiple times. Some legible, some not.

 21.Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.

But if I am supposed to be talented at sports in the afro-mention point why can't I catch a ball.

Dyslexia being confused since 1877.

 22.Can be ambidextrous, and often confuses left/right, over/under.

Yip...A 20 something that doesn't know their left from their right.

 Math and Time Management:

23.Has difficulty telling time, managing time, learning sequenced information or tasks, or being on time.

Well if I can't tell time I can't manage my time thus I don't have enough time to do tasks so that is why I am never on time.

 24.Computing math shows dependence on finger counting and other tricks; knows answers, but can’t do it on paper.

 Only if Math exam were oral I would have accolades in Math.

 25.Can count, but has difficulty counting objects and dealing with money.

 Y'all I have nightmares about being a cashier.  

 26.Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems; cannot grasp algebra or higher math.

As I said before Algebra not, for dyslexics.

Memory and Cognition:

27:Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.

I wish could forget about that time I fell down in front the entire school. And yes this is not an exaggeration. The ENTIRE school saw this.  

28.Poor memory for sequences, facts and information that has not been experienced.

Subjects dyslexics shouldn't do:

Science: too many big words you can't spell.

History or Literature: reading is detrimental to your health.

Math:  A-L-G-E-B-R-A

 29.Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).

Sad truth I wear my heart on my sleeves. It's fricking annoying cause I want to be mad in peace without anyone knowing Goddamn it .

 Behavior, Health, Development, and Personality: 

30.Extremely disorderly or compulsively orderly.

I am Death the Kid.

(If you don't get that reference you are uncultured)

 31.Can be class clown, trouble-maker, or too quiet.

Like I was disliked in school for being too quiet. You would think that it was students oh no no no Patricia it was teachers.

Sorry Mrs. Emily for not giving you grey hairs, so you have the opportunity to go home to your loving husband to complain about how much you hate your job and kids. While you thinking about your affair with the young nextdoor neighbour, who you would end up marrying only to then leave them for a hot 20 yea.............................Ummmm that got a bit personal there lets continue shall we  

32.Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, crawling, walking, tying shoes).

 It took a while to learn how to tie my laces.

 33.Prone to ear infections; sensitive to foods, additives, and chemical products.

So wait not only did Dyslexia inhibit my ability to read, comprehend and to tell my right from my left to function normally in society but it caused my ear infections too. That is it I'm done

Moving to Siberia.

 34.Can be an extra deep or light sleeper; bedwetting beyond appropriate age.

 I was a very well trained tangerine.

 35.Unusually high or low tolerance for pain.

Everytime I stub my pinky toes it feels like an aeroplane wheel rolled over it.

36.Strong sense of justice; emotionally sensitive; strives for perfection.

 Facts!

37.Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor     health.

2 second Rant

Examiners don't think of dyslexic people, even with extra time. The sheer amount of times it takes just to understand the question then to answer with the best possible Grammar is straight cruelty.

You automatically want me to fail and not finish don't you.

You Demon.

  Mini sidestory:

While writing this I asked my significant other to spell "Exaggerate", dude looked at me and told me to sound it out. Past me knew he was going to say this and I did sound it out  before he asked me to sound it out. I told him that I did and that I don't know what letter comes after "Ex", he was like babe sound it out..................................

Tangerine internal thoughts: (Exsqueeze me) Every time try that a ""H" is coming up in my head. I thought this through ya know.

In conclusion I sound it out to my phone.

 To anyone who don't understand Dyslexia fully I do suggest researching.  

My commentary is completely subjective but if you relate that is good :)

 That's all my Fruits until next time

- TheeTangerine

Proof read by TheeApple<3

https://www.dyslexia.com/about-dyslexia/signs-of-dyslexia/test-for-dyslexia-37-signs/

[hopefullylovelyxx]

Ça te rend belle.

part three

Authors Note:

I’m terrible at posting on a schedule basis oops. I tried every weekend then got busy and distracted with other story ideas. I think I can keep up now though. I think I’m gonna start a new story in addition to this one but we’ll see how long it takes for me to write the first part for that one.

. . . . . .

After the brief run in and walk to the janitors room Y/N could not shake Harry from her mind. Everything began to remind her of him. The bells signaling a class beginning and ending made her wonder how he greets his students, was it as polite as he had greeted her? Her students that were taking his course had said he was a funny teacher. Perhaps he opened class with a joke. The lovely rose bushes at the front of the school she passed by on her way to her car now made her wonder what Harry’s favorite flower was. His pretentious exterior would make her assume it’s some rare flower with an extremely hard name to pronounce that grows every 20 years, but the brief glimpse she got into his true personality makes her believe it’s probably a simple plant like a rose or carnation. On her way home as she passed restaurant after restaurant she wondered what his favorite food was. More than anything she wondered what restaurant would be suitable for a first date. When she got home and was greeted by her child, a small white Bolognese dog called Valentina, she wondered if harry was a dog or cat person or maybe both. Needless to say Y/N was completely infatuated with Harry.

These feeling weren’t one sided. Harry’s mind was completely caught up in how he’d start their next conversation. He crossed off ideas of going into her classroom and meeting her in the parking lot after school because they seemed a little invasive. But what more was he left with? He had regretted not meeting her sooner and he knew if he waited too long to start talking to her on a regular basis he’d be filled with even more regret.

Luckily for them both their students had it all figured out...again.

. . . . . .

Friday September 14, 2018 7:35 am

As school began Harry actually listened to the announcements for once. It’s not that he didn’t care about what was going on at the school, he just figured that the information was meant for students and didn’t require his attention.

“Don’t miss today’s assembly where we’ll be announcing this years Homecoming Court.”

Harry still finds the whole ‘King’ and ‘Queen’ thing funny. Growing up in England, he never got to experience things like ‘Homecoming’ or ‘Prom’. Yes he’d hear about it and see it in American films and television shows but it was something he never really understood. Why was there so much intense competition and campaigning for a plastic crown and title no one will care about the next day? Nevertheless, he hypocritically hoped at least one of his students won.

“Homecoming week starts on Monday, dress up for all the spirit days. Monday is Pajama Day, Tuesday is Beach Day, Wednesday is Celebrity Day, Thursday is Twin Day, and Friday is Royalty Day.”

Harry chuckles to himself at the silly dress up week but his students seem to be pleased as they whisper to one another about outfit ideas.

“Teachers, if you want to chaperone this years homecoming dance email Mrs. Nas by Monday for all the details. Have a great day!”

Julia immediately says “Mr. Styles you should be a chaperone.” Everyone shows their signs of agreement and says “What makes you think I want to spend my Saturday night making sure you guys aren’t drinking, doing drugs, or having sex?” Kyle smirks and says “I think I overheard Ms. Y/N saying that she was gonna chaperone.” The whole class smirks at Harry and he feels his blood rush to his face. He composes himself and says “Well then I’ll consider. Clear your desks for the test please.” Julia asks “If I get nominated for Homecoming court will you change my score?” Harry smiles at her attempt and says “Nice try, but no. Good luck though.” She gives a small smile and nod then asks “If I get nominated will you ask Ms.Y/N out?” Harry acts like he didn’t hear her over the sound of all the other students putting their things away but makes a small promise to himself that if any of his students were nominated, he’d ask her out.

. . . . . .

Friday September 14, 2018 11:30 am

Y/N makes her way to the gymnasium for the assembly contemplating if she should dress up as Ariana Grande or Pam from The Office for Celebrity Day. As she walks in she stays towards the back where some of the other teachers are. When she sees Harry standing against the wall reading a book she feels that same tingle in the pit of her stomach and something new in her chest she can’t quite describe.

She immediately walks over to him and says “Whatcha reading?” He jumps a little from the sudden voice but immediately calms as he sees who it belongs to. He folds the corner of the page to save his place then closes it to show her the cover and says “Love Is a Mixtape by Rob Sheffield.” Harry puts the book down on the floor near his feet and Y/N asks “What’s it about?”

He avoids eye contact and just looks across the room at nothing in particular. He crosses his arms and ankles as he leans against the wall and says “It’s an autobiography about his wife and how they dealt with her dying through music. Each chapter comes with a mixtape of songs to listen to while reading. It’s really good. Very well written.”

Y/N continues studying his face as she says “Seems quite sad.” He shrugs and says “Its real life. Not everything’s happy all the time. I think it’s lovely how he turned a tragedy into a beautiful piece of literature. The mixtapes are the same ones they made together, it really adds to the emotion.”

Y/N doesn’t know much about literature let alone as much as a AP Literature teacher would so she just accepts his statement with a few nods then says “Well if you think it’s good I’ll read it.” Harry looks at her face for the first time since she got here and opens his mouth to speak but is cut off by the start of the assembly.

The whole assembly feels like it’s in slow motion for Harry as he just wants the noise to come to an end so he can talk to Y/N. But for her the assembly is going by too fast. She wants time to slow down so she can stand this close to harry for longer.

When they begin to announce the court Harry closely listens for one of his students’ names. Finally he hears Julia’s name and both him and Y/N clap enthusiastically. Y/N turns to Harry and says “She’s been nervous all week about this.” Harry nods recalling the past few days of Julia not paying attention in class and staring off into space.

The assembly comes to a close and lunch time immediately begins. Y/N is afraid Harry will leave right away but to her surprise he says “Do you wanna go grab lunch?”

It’s not completely asking her out but it’s a step and Harry isn’t planning on breaking the promise he made with himself.

Y/N doesn’t know if she heard him right or if she’s delusional but when he elaborates and says “S’fine if you don’t. Just wanted to ask.” She immediately smiles being reassured that she’s not in fact hearing things. “I’d love to grab lunch with you.”

Harry doesn’t know exactly what to do next; he didn’t think he’d get this far. He picks up his book from the ground and says “We can go in my car.” She nods and they walk out to the parking lot.

They walk past Y/N’s car and harry scoffs. She confusedly asks “what?” He says “This car has been parking in my parking space for a month.” Y/N, now amused by his frustration asks “Is your name on it?” He says “No but I’ve parked here for the past 2 years.” She shrugs and says “That’s real life. It’s not going to be happy all the time.” He fake pouts at her use of his previous quotes and says “Oi, here I am tryna take you out for some tacos and you mock me. What a minx.” She giggles and they get into his car.

Y/N breaks the silence almost immediately and asks “Are you gonna chaperone the dance?” Harry doesn’t want to say his true opinion in fear it’d conflict with hers but he doesn’t want to lie and be in-genuine. He finds a middle ground and says “I’m not sure. Seems a little odd, ya know. Hovering over the students while they’re just trying to have a good time.”

Y/N moves her head in agreement and says “Yeah it is a little weird. At my Homecoming senior year there was only 3 teachers who chaperoned so everyone brought mini vodka bottles and grinded on each other. So I understand why they have chaperones.” Harry laughs and says “Did you participate in the vodka and grinding?” Y/N fake scoffs and jokingly says “How dare you! I was a straight B student, I would never!” They both laugh and Y/N says “Wanna go to homecoming with me?”

Harry can’t fight the huge grin and blush making their way to his face and neither can Y/N. She feels like she’s back in high school and just told her crush she liked them. Harry nods and says “Yeah. As long as you bring the mini vodka bottles.” They both smile at each other briefly and Y/N tries to contain her excitement. She gets her phone out and begins to email Mrs. Nas informing her on their desire to chaperone.

Once she’s done she reads it aloud, “Dear Mrs. Nas, Me and Mr. Styles are interested in chaperoning this years homecoming dance. What additional information should we know prior to next Saturday’s dance?” Harry quickly says “Mr. Styles and I.” Y/N corrects the error and says “Where were you to proof read all my essays?”

They finally arrive at the taco shop drive thru and order their food. When they get to the window Y/N opens her phone case to pull out the $10 she always keeps in case of emergencies but Harry’s already handing the worker $20. She gives Harry the $10 but he shakes his head and says “S’fine love. Keep it.” Y/N isn’t taking no for answer so as harry is focused on grabbing the bag of food from the window, Y/N puts the $10 in the middle console quickly.

She grabs the bag from him so he can continue driving and she says “Thank you.” He says “No problem. Now what color tie should I wear?” Y/N laughs and says “Whatever you want. I’m not picky.” Harry mentally pictures his closet and says “Grey blazer and trousers with a black shirt or black blazer and trousers with a pink shirt?” Y/N is the last person he should come to for fashion tips. “Um. I don’t know I’d have to see what they look like.” With a sudden boost of confidence Harry says “I’ll send you a picture later.” Y/N just nods not trusting her mouth.

On the note of fashion and clothing Y/N asks “What are you planning on wearing for spirit week?” Harry’s face contorts into something Y/N can only describe as surprise and confusion. “I wasn’t gonna dress up actually.” Y/N immediately inquires “Why not? If you don’t have anything for some of the days I could let you borrow some stuff. You could also go to the thrift store so you don’t waste money on stuff you’re only gonna wear once.” Harry shakes his head and says “No no. It’s not that. Just seems a bit...silly.”

Y/N feels a bit defensive and says “It’s not silly. The way I see it is if teachers dress up it shows the students that they have spirit for the school too.” Harry shrugs and says “Most students don’t even want to be at school. Me wearing pajamas isn’t going to change that.”

Y/N frowns at his pessimistic remarks. She’s always been a ‘half full’ type of person. This mixed with her stubbornness made her determined to change Harry’s mind. As they pull into the school parking lot she says “It’s just one week. I’ll help you if you need it.”

He pulls into the same parking spot he left 20 minutes ago and says “What even is Royalty Day?” They get out of the car and Y/N happily answers “You get to dress up as a prince or princess.” Harry grabs the bag from her hand and says “How is wearing a crown showing I have school spirit again?” Y/N rolls her eyes as they walk into the school and says “It’s about your intentions not what you’re wearing.”

She opens her classroom door and holds it open as she let’s Harry in first. He puts the bag of food down on a desk and she moves two desks to face one another. They both sit and she still holds onto her argument. “I still think you should dress up next week.” Harry can’t help but smile at her insistent determination. “I’ve never met someone so passionate about Pajama Day.” They both laugh and she says “I’m extremely passionate. Don’t even get me started on Twin Day.”

They share a giggle as they lock eyes and Harry can’t say no to her any longer. “Which celebrity should I dress up as?” Y/N immediately lights up and says “You’d make a great Danny DeVito.”

They both laugh and enjoy the rest of lunch discussing outfit ideas and eating their tacos. The bell ringing knocks them out of the world they subconsciously created with each other. They quickly clean up and move the desks back then Harry remembers, “Can I have your number? So I can show you the suits.” Y/N nods and says “oh yeah let me write it down for you.” She quickly grabs a pen and sticky note from Mrs. Meyers’ desk and writes her number with a smiley face. She hands it to him and he quickly says “Had a good time.” And exits the classroom.

Almost immediately students start funneling in and Mrs. Meyers is only 7 minutes late to class this time. When 6th period rolls around Y/N makes sure to congratulate Julia.

The rest of class Y/N plays a French film since it’s Friday. As she catches up on some of her own school work she sees her phone light up. She checks it hoping to see an unknown number but to her dismay it’s just a notification from her period tracking app. She tries to focus on her work but now all she can think about is Harry texting her.

For some reason she feels a bit like somethings missing from herself. All the conversations, jokes, looks, and smiles added up and created a warm little spot in Erica’s heart and now that he’s across campus instead of with her the new bit of herself she gained through harry is absent. All she had now are memories. She remembers seeing him at the assembly and the book he was reading.

She quickly grabs her phone and buys the ebook version. She begins reading and makes the mixtape for the first chapter in Spotify. She proceeds to read and listen with the little thought in the back of her head that Harry had read these same words and heard these same beats and lyrics. What had he thought about them?

. . . . . .

Later that day, after Y/N had taken Valentina for a walk, ate dinner, and finished up some school work she began to grow impatient waiting for his text. She occupied herself with reading but she still couldn’t help but wonder what was taking him so long. Through the law of attraction or simply by coincidence she received a message from an unfamiliar number.

“Hope this is the right number. Couldn’t tell if it was a 3 or an 8. -h”

“Yes this is the right number. Sorry for the hand writing.”

Harry sends the two pictures of him in the black suit option and in the grey suit option. Watching the three dots in the message bubble as she types feels like the most excrutiating 5 seconds of his life.

“I don’t know much about fashion but both are really nice. I’d say the grey one though :)”

Y/N watched the typing symbol and each time three dots flutter she feels her heart beat quicker.

“Perfect. Thanks for your input. What are you wearing?”

“Black shorts and a red halter top, why?”

Immediately after pressing send Y/N understands what he meant.

“I meant to the dance 😂”

“I didn’t realize until after sorry 😂. I’m not sure yet.”

“I’m sure it’ll be lovely. I gotta go grade some papers, talk to you tomorrow?”

“I’d love to.”

“:) perfect”

Y/N goes back and forth thinking about responding but decides the conversation is dead and locks her phone grinning widely.

. . . . . .

Thank you for reading! xx

[fetwmhbgmwbr]

September 21, 2020

I didn’t get to the second half of the post I wanted to write yesterday, so I’ll try to tackle it now. I’m happy with what distract me, though; my roommate and I got into a pretty interesting discussion of Polish phonology, as nerdy as that sounds. He’s Polish and we’re both half-Linguistics majors, so it’s at least explicable, but it still sounds funny even to me as I wrote that sentence! 

To get right to it, I’m going to meet with my professor of Early African American Literature on Wednesday morning over Zoom. She wants to get to know us as well as answer any questions we might have about the course, things we’ve done so far, and things we’re going to do. Here’s what I’ve thought about mentioning to her so far:

We listened to Toni Morrison’s 1993 Nobel Prize speech in my Intro to Literary Studies class, and it had a similar, sermon-like quality that reminded me of MLK’s “The Drum Major Instinct” that we had listened to in Early African American Literature a few days prior.

Individually, I’ve been reading more Black authors because of the current social climate regarding the Black Lives Matter movement. I brought with me to college James Baldwin’s The Fire Next Time and Notes of a Native Son, as well as Angela Davis’ Women, Race & Class, all three of which I’ve finished. I don’t think I read them critically, though. It was more of a “these are the important texts I’ve heard people recommend, I should read them for the sake of reading them” situation. So, I want to revisit them, and I’d love her perspectives or some guiding questions as I revisit them. 

The Angela Davis book in particular I wanted to mention because it gives a pretty thorough overview of the confluence of the gender, racial, and class equality/justice movements, and she talks about lots of figures whose work is on the syllabus for this class. Again, I think I should re-read it to get a better idea of what they stood for, but that actually leads me into my next question.

I’m interested in my professor’s style of reading. I’ve had an internal debate for a while about how I should read these books that I know have had a profound impact on the world, but I can’t see which pros outweigh the cons of any one method. 

The first would be to just read it straight through, no notes, not necessarily breaking it into chunks so you have time to reflect on it. The bonus is you can get through books quickly, but the downside is you might miss out on a lot of the significance and meaning of it. I feel like it’s the most appropriate way to read novels, but it’s not suitable for non-fiction and essays like I’ve been reading.

The second is to read less at a time, breaking it into manageable pieces so you have time to reflect on what you’ve understood as well as what you haven’t. But, still no notes. This one is a nice middle ground because it doesn’t necessarily disrupt the reading experience with jotting down notes, but you still build in time to engage with it. The downside, which is even more severe in the last method, is that it takes longer. I generally like what I’m reading, so forcing myself to take it slow and let it sit overnight can be anathema. 

The last method is to read in smaller chunks again, and either annotate or take notes as you go. I personally hate annotation, I like my books to look clean so I can re-read them easily, loan them to friends, that kind of thing. But, I could use a notebook or post it notes to jot down my thoughts as I go. This one, I theorize, would be best to actually understand what you’re reading; it’s almost a metacognitive strategy to probe your mind as you’re taking in information to see what connections you make. The downside is, it’s very labor-intensive, so reading for fun would turn more into reading for interest, which is still good but is, necessarily, different. Now that I consider it, though, I don’t think that the smaller sections would bother me then, because I’ve put in the effort to understand it as I go along. I would probably stop when I get tired, and at that point I wouldn’t want to keep going, anyways.

An alternative approach would be to read everything through once, at the pace I want, with no notes, just to get an impression and feel the cadence of the author that I’d miss going analytically. That being said, once I’ve finished it once, I would go through again with a fine-tooth comb and then do the analysis, so I get the best of both worlds. The very clear downside with this one is, I have to read everything twice, and the second time will take a significant amount of time. With longer books, the idea of reading it twice alone makes me irritable. I suppose I could do this method by chapter or section, so that I can still feel the energy of the book but I don’t have to read it start to finish twice. 

The last debate I want to settle about reading is the age-old question, should I read two books at once? I did that a lot as a kid, I think with the Percy Jackson series and whatever else I could get my hands on, but now my personality has changed so that I can’t imagine reading two books at once, unless it’s for school. I know some people like to read a serious book and a fun book at the same time, which makes sense to me, but I still have a hard time wrapping my head around how I would keep everything straight!

The James Baldwin essays I’ve read, as well as Ta-Nehisi Coates’ Between the World and Me, introduced me to the concept that race is totally arbitrary. Yes, people have different skin tones, physical features, cultures, and customs, but the broad classifications of “white” and “black” are totally made up. Baldwin and Coates call white people some variant of “people who believe they are white,” and I thought that was a very interesting point. I did an exercise in a high school diversity club once where we were asked to write five things that described us on a balloon. When we went around, all of the Black Americans in the room, as well as some Black Caribbean and African boarding students, had written “Black” as one of their descriptors, most Jewish kids had written “Jewish” for themselves, but not a single white kid identified themself by the color of their skin. The point my teacher wanted to make was that race doesn’t actually matter unless it’s been used against you. To relate it to this Early African American Literature course, I’ve been surprised by how little Marrant, Lee, Terry, and Hammon openly discussed race. It could have been a business decision, they might not have been published if they had written openly and aggressively about race. But I also wonder, and it’s the Christian perspective of the sermon pieces and the anti-Native American perspective of the other two that make me think this, if the black and white distinction wasn’t as strong yet. I know that American slavery was already in effect, and had been for more than a century, so I can’t imagine that this was the case, but I’m curious about that. I imagine Angela Davis might say that the distinction hadn’t been made yet because there was no economic (read, capitalist) reason for it: there was no threat to the existing power structure from free Black Americans as long as the Native Americans and non-Christians were bigger outcasts. But, I have no clue if that’s an accurate analysis, or even if Davis would agree with the words I just put in her mouth. 

The last possible point of conversation is that I have signed up for the book club my professor is leading, where we’ll read Bernardine Evaristo’s Girl, Woman, Other. I joined because I’ve always wanted to try out a book club, and the book sounds like it will fit with my current goal of reading stories that, essentially, my parents would never touch. I don’t know how the club works, so I could ask that, and I'm also interested in hearing why they chose this novel out of the whole, wide world of literature. 

Now that I’ve written way too much, I don’t think I’ll try to pare down into a plan of what to talk about. I’ve developed my ideas by writing this, so hopefully when I join the Zoom call and say hi, the conversation will flow naturally and I’ll never be at a loss for words.