#if this means anything to anyone feel free 2 go wild with ur own ideas

[feath-r-hopper]

"your choices will matter, so be sure to make the right one!"

idk i had a generation loss au kicking around in my head for a while so . screenshot redraw w the mity. high roller is also here.

[leejeongz]

nsfw a-z SEUNGHUN (CIX)

requested: yes, by anon

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

his only priority is you. he gets that things can get a little… spicy, when he’s left to do whatever he wants to you, so taking care of you afterwards is the most important thing for him. you are getting endless amounts of kisses and cuddles and he’s gonna ask if you need anything… like… a lot.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he LOVES your hands. they’re so pretty to him. so pretty when they’re close to his face, or wrapped around his dick, or gripping onto the sheets. he l o v e s them. his way to make sex more romantic is to hold hands where possible, yet another reason why he loves your hands.

for him, it’s his neck. his neck is super sensitive and, alongside his abs, is his favourite place for you to kiss and tease him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

if he can’t cum inside you (which he always wants to do) he’ll make you either swallow it or will finish on your tummy. if any gets on the floor, he’s getting you to lick that up, you better not waste his cum, you’re his (pretty) cum slut after all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

you once agreed to filming you pair while you did the deed. he kept it for himself to watch and gets off to it most of the time, it never gets old.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

i don’t want to put a number on it but he’s definitely not a virgin, far from it. he knows what he’s doing and there’s not much he hasn’t done before. he knows what he likes and he certainly knows where the clit is.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

this man loves morning sex, so spooning is perfect for him. it’s slow, sensual and romantic and you can put in as little effort as you want. he can also grab your neck or your tits or even :D both :D from behind, without him being in an uncomfortable position.

he’s also a fan of standing doggy, even though he’s really tall, he can still find the perfect height and angle to pleasure you at while wrapping his hand around you to rub your clit :).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

he can be a little goofy in the moment but that’s just him being him. it makes the whole situation feel a lot more personal and romantic. he likes to giggle about little things but is also very mature and serious at the appropriate times.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

completely shaved. he thinks it’s more convenient for you when you're sucking his dick (don’t forget the balls) and thinks it looks hotter from his perspective. it’s also a better way to see how much of his dick you really took. he shaves most of the time but honestly, i kinda see him also wanting to wax it to keep the hair away for a longer period of time.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

most of the time, he keeps the sex as romantic as possible and does all the cliche things like holding hands, exchanging kisses and sweet nothings even when it’s getting a little rough, he even lights a candle and puts on music sometimes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he likes to take his sweet time and edge himself A LOT. he imagines a lot of stuff but most of the time relies on pictures, videos and free stuff online. honestly, i can see him being someone who films himself, he finds it enhances the experience a lot more (and fuels his exhibitionist fantasies ofc).

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

exhibitionism- obviously not in the illegal way. he just likes the possibility of getting caught. he likes sneaking around with you but also giving other people a show. this mostly happens on vacation (if you agree) by pressing you against windows in hotel rooms late at night and fucking you from behind or making you suck his dick in front of the window.

quirofilia (i googled the name lmao)/ hands- he knows he has nice hands and that you like them, especially wrapped around your neck, but he also secretly has a thing for your hands too. handjobs are so underrated but not by this man, he cannot get enough. he likes watching you paint your nails, he likes when you let him pick the colour even more because he imagines what would look the best when they're dragging along his skin.

CHOKING (borderline breath play)- idk if this is a kink but b o y he loves to choke you. there’s nothing he likes more than fucking you in missionary but spicing it up with his hand tightly wrapped around your neck. but he’s not your average choker, he likes to see you struggle (if you both trust each other that is and with a safety gesture). of course he knows that breath play is dangerous, so he wouldn’t take it to the extreme, but hearing the change in your breathing is so HOT to him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he would do it anywhere lmao he’s not shy of people seeing.

but he really likes the sofa in the living room, it’s comfortable and still in your own home because he knows not everyone is up for fucking in places you might get caught, but still isn’t as “basic” as a bed. there’s also not that much space to “get lost in”since he’s not much of a manhandler, it encourages either of you to sit on the edge most of the time, providing easily access 😜

but as i mentioned above, he loves showing off to anyone who wants to watch. friends houses and hotels are his favourite places to do this.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

i don’t think he’d be turned on by random things, but there are definitely certain things about you that turn him on. like when you put your pen in your mouth while you're thinking or when you lick your fingers after eating food. anything that resembles a blowjob, he’s there begging for some head. or if he looks at your hands while they're holding onto something that looks even a little bit like his dick, he is so ready for a quick handjob.

if you accidentally touch his dick or “accidentally” back up a lil too far when spooning, you’re getting fucked there and then, i hope you’re proud of yourself :p. (but not without him teasing you a little bit beforehand for doing so.)

let’s be real tho, this guy looks at his naked self in the mirror and gets turned on by that… imagine being THAT attractive only seunghun smh

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

there’s not much he wouldn’t do, anything that made you happy made him happy. that being said, i don’t think he’d ever be comfortable with slapping anything that isn’t ur ass. especially not your face, even if it does turn you on or whatever

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

HE LOVES TO RECEIVE. he would do a n y t h i n g to feel your lips wrapped around him whenever, wherever. he just loves getting head. he likes it sloppy and kinda slow, with lots of spit and eye contact. but he expects you to clean the floor afterwards, you made the mess since “you were the one who made him cum” so you clean it, with your tongue 👅gOd he gets so cocky when he hears you complaining that you can’t take it all or when you have a sore throat after sucking his dick, so you do it all the more for some amazing sex hehe. the man loves fucking your face, pulling back and grabbing your chin whenever he’s even just slightly bored,kissing you, then pushing his cock back into your mouth.

he’s not gonna eat you out if you ask him to, he’s going to do it when he wants to do it, when he can SENSE that you want it. he’s pretty good with his lips and likes to give you gentle kisses down there since he knows you’ve probably never experienced that before (given than most men have no fucking clue lol).

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

usually slow, sensual with a healthy sprinkle of fast and rough. the slow pace is also considered a tease, he knows you want it harder, but you’re not getting it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

sometimes they are just what he needs. if he’s horny and there’s not much time to spend dragging out everything, you can bet ur fine ass he’s taking you to the nearest private space and having his way with you. sometimes even just spotting a location to do it in is enough to let his imagination run wild and soon enough, you’re there, getting railed

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he was born to take risks. whatever you want to do, he wants to do too, no matter how risky it is. he’s not shy to bring up anything that he wants to try either and is very open about what he likes. gets most of his ideas from things he’s done before, but he knows they’ll be better this time because they’re with you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

2-3 rounds. there’s nothing stopping him on occasion, he actually shocks you how many rounds he can go for without a break.

all last around 20 minutes and he never skips foreplay hehe.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

if you wanna use them, he’s not fussed. but his ideal sex does not involve any toys. he believes he can do everything you need to be satisfied so why would you need toys? but if you want to introduce them to activities every once in a while, he’ll go along with it, just for you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again… THE BIGGEST TEASE IN KPOP.

he sends you numerous texts describing what he wants to do to you when he knows you're busy, sometimes, if you’re lucky, he might even treat you to a whisper in your ear when you’re in public, something along the lines of “i can’t wait until we get home” followed by a sweet kiss against your cheek. and he loves winking at you. just an innocent wink to everyone else means so much more to you and he knows it gets you wet almost instantly.

your neck is his fav place to tease you, whispering against it and pressing light kisses against it until that alone makes your eyes roll and you moan quietly. that being said, he likes when you tease him too, only he knows he can get away with punishing you for it.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

BIG ON DIRTY TALK. “that’s it baby, just a little bit more” “i know you wanna cum, but you’re not going to until i say, right?” “don’t stop, honey, don’t stop” he will say anything at any time, no filter, just whatever feels right.

he’s a little bit of a moaner, quite loud too, but you’re gonna have to do something extra special to get one of those.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

things got real boring real quick when you realised seunghun was engrossed in the tv while you were sucking his dick so you decided now was your chance to show him who was really in charge here.

your figure was now blocking the screen in front of him as you straddled him, there were no distractions for him.

“i was-“ you cut him off mid sentence with a finger pushed against his lips. you took it off and used that hand to guide his dick towards the pool of moisture that had been in between your legs for a while. he smirked slyly and let you continue, enjoying seeing this side of you for once.

although you’d done it many times, you still weren’t used to his size and the way it felt and your face was not hiding any of that. he chuckled slightly, leaning up as he did so with a hand resting on the small of your back so you didn’t fall.

“go on baby, you can do it, take it all” he spoke, the smirk becoming more clear on his face. he added a wink, knowing it would fuck with you too.

“fuck you, seunghun” you let out, lowering yourself another inch onto his length, almost all the way there now. he leaned back agasint the headboard once again, knowing he still had control, but it was fun to see you thinking that you did. his hands now rested on your thighs which were tense and hard, there was no way you were lasting in this position, he thought to himself.

you had finally gotten to riding his dick properly, an activity you did almost every day these days. seunghun had already managed to have you put on a blindfold, called you cute numerous times and was surely on his way to changing position, claiming that you should “let the expert take over”.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

l a r g e. both length and girth… above average. girl you’re so lucky to be getting that dick 😭 but good luck walking for a few hours (days) after because he knows how to use it too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

probably the highest out of anyone on the entire planet lol.

he would have sex 24/7 if he could.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he simply does not sleep. most of the time, he’s eager to stay up with you, cuddling or just getting on with you day. don’t get me wrong sometimes, he needs to sleep after, and then it’s only after you do, but it’s rare.

[mononyann]

a while back people requested that i share some of my headcanons for certain bnha characters, so here's some of the characters that i did

Shota Aizawa

- he absolutely has at LEAST 3 cats, he spoils the heck out of them too. that's why he's always eating those gel packs... he spends too much on his cats.

- he really does love his class. and we all know honey??? u haven't expelled any of them. ur soft for them ok.

- he likes to sleep with his cats bc he gets lonely at night... he will not admit it, but he likes having someone/something there :)

- he has reuccuring nightmares about the usj attack and how he could have failed to save his students

- has a very low alcohol tolerance and often ends up getting dragged back to his apartment by mic or midnight when they go out whilst he rambles and whines the entire time

- he hates crying and tries his best to keep his emotions held in, he's only cried in front of a select few people

- he tries not to let others opinions on him rule his life and tends to block it out if someone hates him

- he doesn't know it, but he is the entirety of class 1-a's dad.

- he really likes tea, and dislikes sweets

- as you would expect, he takes his coffee black

Hanta Sero

- he really likes kpop! he stans multiple groups and really wants to attend a concert

- though he seems really chill on the outside, he's actually quite sensitive and has some self confidence issues

- he loves being around people and finds that he gets his energy from being around those he loves

- definitely into e-boy fashion, and he is open about it

- pierced his own ears at 3 am and called kaminari crying about how he screwed it up

- he actually likes to draw a lot in his free time, it's very relaxing. he puts on some nice low-fi music and draws for hours

- he hasn't had many crushes in his life and doesn't find romance to be a big issue currently, but he's open to anything

- accidentally taped his hamster to the ceiling in 2nd grade, he didn't mean to and cried for hours (the hamster was ok)

Nemuri Kayama

- she is a BRO, she likes to crack a cold one open with the boys on the weekends

- she is bisexual and thinks everyone is beautiful in their own unique ways

- most likely talks shit about her coworkers to her classes

- she thinks children are adorable and loves them, often scaring them with her enthusiasm

- very touchy, she loves hugs and will probably not pass up a chance to use you as an armrest if she has the chance

- she secretly worries about aizawa a lot and is scared that he lets the past effect him too much

- did you guys know she has a cat?!

- i like to think she and mic are like... EPIC bros, she loves to paint his nails and do his hair while gossiping with him (aizawa would NEVER let her do this to him lmao)

- she isn't a mom, but finds the idea of having her own children very nice, for now having a cat will suffice

- she enjoys trying to make all might flustered, she thinks his reactions to things are always very cute and funny (it's all in good fun!)

- she's the mom friend! though she may seem very sexual, which she undoubtedly is, she is also very caring and has a very nuturing motherly personality, she's a lot more than just fanservice !!!!!

Todoroki Shoto

- completely oblivious when it comes to love... he doesn't even understand his own crushes

- "of course you can borrow my credit card uraraka" *pulls out endeavors card which he sneakily took*

- would be the person to tell a child that their pet guinea pig didn't go to heaven and be confused when they start sobbing... like "what... don't be honest?"

- allows his friends to huddle up to his warm side when they are cold

- is confused when people show him copious amounts of love and affection

- he would beat up anyone if they tried to do ANYTHING bad to midoriya

- he wants more friends. he really is enjoying meeting new people and having some new friends at ua!

- he gives really good hugs, he doesn't try to hug you too tight, but he doesn't half ass it either, very nice and warm

- he hates his scar. like. a lot. he wants to cover it up so bad but it just doesn't work. he's afraid it'll make other people scared of him.

Shinsou Hitoshi

- loves patd! and fall out boy, a brendon urie STAN

- loves to kiss his kitties on the forehead but dreads human interaction

- he loves to squish his cats' toebeans... he takes pictures of them and posts them to his secret cat social media acc

- he is gay but doesn't know how to feel about it and/or come out, he's really nervous and doesn't trust people to accept him

- he doesn't smile often but when he does it's the cutest thing ever

- he secretly really likes deku and kaminari and is hesitant about accepting their friendship, but appreciates the gestures a lot

- he suffers with social anxiety and doesn't really know how to make friends very well??? like, in middle school people were total dickbags to him so he kinda just closed himself off and decided he was gonna like... not make friends, but now that there's nice people around him he just kind of- doesn't know how

- this is actually canon! but he feels guilty about having to manipulate people when he uses his quirk, during the 4th school briefs book he feels guilty when he overhears midoriya and ojiro talking about him using his quirk during the sports festival, and he's like "i wish ojiro would say something rude about me to show he's angry so i wouldn't have to feel so guilty about this" since ojiro showed no ill feelings towards him

Izuku Midoriya

- "hold on I'll go get a blanket!" *opens closet* *thousands of all might figurines tumble out*

- watches cat vine compilations until 2 am, than freaks out when he realizes it is 2 am

- very good with children!

- used to be very self conscious about his freckles bc of bakugou insulting them; hid them with concealer for a while until someone told him they were beautiful

- loves his momma so muchhh he would do anything for her, he likes to surprise her with small favors to see her happy

- does not understand the concept of letting people handle their own problems

- stays after to class to offer his teachers help

- he has a lot of self doubts and is still struggling to this day to come to terms with the fact that he is worthy of having one for all

- he wants to learn how to cook for his mom and friends

Kyoka Jirou

- she is a lesbian!!!!! she has a crush on momo but is completely convinced that it's unrequited

- struggled with judgmental kids in middle school because of her sexual identity and style

- gets very easily flustered by anyone complimenting her

- that one person sitting at the back of the bus with their earbuds blasting full volume

- was a GOD at guitar hero

- acts like she's fed up with kaminari's (which she can be sometimes), but truly he's one of the people she can trust the most. she secretly appreciates the way he hypes up her talents and how he really helps her through the day sometimes!

- she loves heroes so much... when she was a little girl and didn't know what to do she'd ask herself "what would my favorite heroes do!?"

- she also secretly buys hero merch but hides it in fear of her being seen as sappy

Amajiki Tamaki

- would have trouble standing up for himself but if he sees ANYONE messing with mirio he WILL throw hands

- likes to watch bob ross videos when hes feeling anxious

- he once went to a butterfly museum with his parents and cried out of joy when one landed on his nose

- leaves food out for strays in his neighborhood, ends up attracting an entire hoard of animals.

- he can paint very nicely, he began to paint after he discovered bob ross

- mirio then saw his paintings and showed the entire class to tamaki's dismay, but everyone absolutely LOVED them!!!

- every day he becomes more and more capable and sure of himself, he is still very anxious, but he's learning to open up and embrace his talents <3

- he really loves to listen to music and any time he's not around others he'll probably have earbuds in, gently swaying back and forth to whatever he has on

- nejire loves to try out new hairstyles on him, and strangely enough, tamaki lets her, he loves it when people play with his hair

Shirakumo Oboro

- shares one collective braincell with mic

- that one person that brings EVERYONE valentine treats on valentines day at school

- most likely plays ding dong ditch

- *draws stick figure* "ah yes. just like van goh" (he cannot draw)

- hates to see his friends (and even random strangers upset) and will go out of his way to do dumb things to make them smile

- probably played soccer

- he's a massive flirt and likes to believe he will become a stereotypical anime protagonist with a massive harem

- he really wants to see aizawa come out of his shell more and tries his best to encourage him to see the best in everything

- he has most likely worn a schoolgirl uniform to class once

- he's very affectionate and loves to hug his friends (even if they don't want hugs), it's his way of showing he likes people

Hizashi Yamada

- he lives off of caffeine. he is a teacher, pro hero, and radio show host, im honestly not sure how he does it

- gives out stickers when students get the correct answer in class and has class parties when they are well behaved for the semester

- just like everyone else, he has his own turmoil as well, he likes to stay busy because it prevents him from having a lot of time to dwell on the past

- he gives really good hugs, and loves to feel the touch of others, it's very comforting to him

- was probably pretty troublesome when he was very young while he learned to get control of his quirk

- overall a really happy and excitable guy, he loves being the center of attention and if he can make people happy by being what he is, that's awesome!

- he shows his appreciation for people in odd ways, but he always means good, even if his wild antics can be a bit stressful lol

- he likes to sing a lot and does it a bunch when he's alone, he can also play a lot of instruments

- he can be very serious if needed, he does often put on a persona when he's present mic

- when he's hizashi (out of hero persona) he's even more of a dork than usual, very goofy, awkward and pouty. a manchild.

OK so I reached my image limit, if u guys wanna see the rest I might post some more later PLUS feel free to request some in my asks, I don't really know how all that stuff works bc I'm kinda new to Tumblr but ILL FIGURE IT OUT

[prcphetess]

greetings ladies, theydies, n gaydies !  it’s officially pride month / my birth month which means my power and chaos are both at their absolute highest so i apologize in advance :/  ANYWAY i’m hannah, i’m twenty but only for a couple more weeks, i’m kickin it in the est, n i use she/her pronouns !  now onto what you’re all here for ...

enter LOURDES CLEMONTE .

her app / bio are kind of Wild Rides but if ur in the business of reading i did send her app in the discord server n i also have Just her bio linked on her navigation tab as well as a stats page !! but i’ll try my best to summarize all the important stuff here !

also before we get started .. a quick TW for child loss, non-descriptive mentions of grooming, sexual harassment/assault, abuse, car crashes, n death and i THINK that’s everything

HISTORY.

it all started w her dad .. leopold clemonte.. in summary: fuck that guy !

he’s a hot shot author turned movie writer man but in order to gain all of his success he had to make a series of shady deals w none other than our petty king apollo

deal #1 was the life of her twin brother :(

deal #2 was her mother’s sanity aka she became like.. a ghost essentially who no longer speaks or interacts w anyone it’s very sad

deal #3 was meant to be lourdes 

now to backtrack a minute, our girl lou went to school to become a playwright bc her whole life she was desperate to make herself seem worthy to her father n unfortunately leopold knew this and used it to his advantage when apollo demanded he pay off his debt

leopold essentially groomed her to please apollo and promised that she would have a hand in his business forever if she could do tht so she was like okay :)

until .. apollo’s price got too high... u know... n she dared to say no and for that she was Punished

aka cursed

but more about that later

anyway bc she royally pissed off apollo by rejecting him, leopold ALSO lost all his help in being famous and had to turn to a famously wealthy family in california known as the grimaldis 

in order to get them to fund him, he forced lourdes to marry their son brooks who was Not A Nice Man 

2 years into their marriage brooks died in a car accident tht lou Might have caused.. for legal reasons i can neither confirm nor deny whether tht happened but the police didn’t charge her so do with tht what you will 

but she kind of went on the run anyway bc post-curse her doctors were like “nah this bitch is straight up crazy” and she knew her dad wasnt gonna b happy with her for another deal going sour so .. she ran !  and she’s kinda been hotel hopping between towns for the last 3 years trying her best not to interact w anyone !

CURSE.

lou’s curse is all abt prophecy baby !

okay so basically she can see the future of things/objects via touching them which was a whole big symbolic thing in the app bc she “deceived” apollo w her hands .. idk man here’s the line from the bio tht says it best

he  binds  her  wrists  and  says  because  it  was  your  hands  you  used  to  lie ,  now  your  hands  will  see  the  truth  as  he  renders  her  incapable  of  touching  anything  or  anyone  without  foreseeing  an  imminent  doom .  you  will  see  but  never  be  seen ,  he  says .  you  will  hear  but  never  be  heard .

ofc in true cassandra style, if she tries to talk to anyone abt her curse ever it’s like the earth swallowed her whole.. nobody can hear her.. nobody can see her.. nothing.. 

she also has absolutely no idea how to control it at all so like sometimes they’re very vivid images of something going to happen sometimes theyre more like bad feelings abt things .. it’s like a fun game where she never knows whats gonna happen and the prophecies ruin her life !

another quote bc im too lazy to resummarize things

the  general  rule  of  thumb ,  however ,  is  that  the  smaller  the  vision ,  the  easier  it  is  to  see  clearly .  small - scale  or  individual  prophecies  —  like  her  university  president  having  a  heart  attack  —  are  generally  more  easy  to  distinguish .  in  comparison ,  the  years  of  anguish  that  brooks  would  later  cause  her  were  much  harder  to  pin  down  and  presented  themselves  more  as  a  more  general  sense  of  danger .

 the only way she can stop it is with a literal.. physical barrier so she sometimes wears gloves but she can only have them on for a small amount of time before her body starts to reject it and make her Physically Unwell so she has to pick n choose man its unfortunate

EXTRA INFO.

man homegirl is Lonely.. big time... she’s just been avoiding human contact for such a long time she’s ALONE !

she has 2 major scars from the car accident, one on her left cheek from the windshield and one down her right shoulder/bicep from the window and both are very much noticeable :(

she very much loves this small town feeling bc she loves to b invisible and it’s so easy to in sleepy nowhere towns like this

she lives off the database property in like .. a tiny run down house that she’s putting all her time and energy into fixing up n she likes it a lot bc she hasnt had a home of her own in a long time

she also has a black cat named ernest, named after the play the importance of being earnest by oscar wilde

she’s also been working on a PLAY for the last few years, it’s a greek-esque tragic “romance” between the sun and the moon, where the sun is based on apollo and the moon is based on her and it does end with the sun realizing tht the moon is the only person w the power to eclipse him and extinguish him so get fucked apollo !

also speaking of writing she writes a letter home to her mom once every couple of months even tho like .. she can’t really read.. it’s very sad, lou is very sad, thank u for listening

ok this is already like .. stupid long.. so im gonna call it a day WHEW but thank u for reading n i think i’ve honestly already plotted w most of u but feel free 2 like this anyway n i’ll either slide into ur dms either to plot or just to say hey KSDJFSK :)

[mdelpin]

Metaphorical Dreams of a Broken Soul - Chapter 2

Gratsu Bingo 2019, Gratsu Week 2019 Prompt: Breath(e) AO3 | FF.Net | Ch 1

Metaphorical Dreams of a Broken Soul

Chapter 2

Gray's eyes opened to pitch darkness. His breathing was ragged, his heart beating so fast it pained his chest. He sat up slowly, cradling his face in the palm of his hand until he felt himself free of the nightmare's hold on him.

He allowed himself a few minutes to calm down before thinking about what had happened. He’d had that nightmare more times than he cared to remember and until today it had always been the same. Why the hell had Natsu shown up? It was bad enough to see Ur or his parents sacrifice themselves for him, but fucking Natsu? That was a nightmare in and of itself.

He could still see the cocky expression on the idiot’s face when he ran off to fight Deliora. It was just like him too, rushing in without a single thought in his head as to the consequences.

Even though Gray's breathing had evened out, he still couldn't get Natsu's final screams out of his head.

Fuck! He didn’t need this.

Gray wanted to get up and go check on Natsu, just to make sure he was okay even though he knew it was stupid. It was just a dream, it wasn’t real. But those screams wouldn’t stop echoing in his head.

Fuck!

He decided to go out for a walk, and if he happened to pass by Natsu's room, well, that was just a coincidence. It wasn't like he actually cared what happened to him. Once he was assured the idiot was fine, he exited the dorm and spent a few hours walking around Magnolia, trying to make himself tired enough to fall back asleep.

Xxx

Gray had told himself it was a one-time thing. A fluke caused by him following Natsu on his first solo job to make sure he was okay. That had been true for about a week, but now, Natsu had become a permanent fixture of his nightmare. And every time it happened, Gray had to watch Deliora kill his friend. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd woken up to the sound of Natsu's screams ringing in his ears after being forced to watch Natsu disintegrate.

He was having trouble sleeping, and it was making him irritable, especially against the one he held responsible for his misery. Gray knew he was being unfair, it wasn't like Natsu had placed himself there on purpose, but there were just so many times he could watch Natsu die before he had to admit that a part of him also died each time it happened. He loved Ur and his parents deeply, but they only existed in his memories, Natsu was someone he saw every day.

And that confused him. Why Natsu? Why not Erza or Cana? He'd known them longer, and frankly, they were much more pleasant.

No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't come up with a rational explanation. But all of these thoughts naturally made him more aware of Natsu. He started noticing little things that needed improving, stupid stuff like shaky stances and wild punches because whether he admitted it to himself or not, he'd now developed an actual fear that one day Natsu would no longer be there and just maybe it would be his fault.

Still, he told himself it had nothing to do with him being concerned about Natsu. No, it was just that Gray was better at these things, and it was his responsibility as a fellow guild member to correct these weaknesses.

Gray provoked fights as often as he could, pushing them both to become ever stronger. But of course, this only worked when Erza wasn’t around. She was determined they be friends even if she had to knock their heads together to accomplish it. While it had given them a healthy fear of Erza, it hadn’t really helped their own friendship any.

She would force them together at any opportunity, and Gray began to wonder if she was using them as an excuse to ease her own loneliness. The three of them couldn't be any more different. Probably the only things they had in common was a dark past and their love of fighting, and fight they did.

But they also played, as more and more kids joined the guild, Jiichan was determined to give them as regular of a childhood as he could provide them. Especially given their pasts. So in between jobs, there were trips to the beach and picnics during holidays or special events. There were parties for birthdays and to celebrate accomplishments. They became a family in every sense of the word, but still Gray kept Natsu at a distance.

He never invited Natsu to go on jobs with him, even though he knew how much Natsu preferred to go on missions with others. Even though he thought it might actually be fun for the two of them to fight together for a change. It was a risk he wasn’t willing to take.

And that’s the way things would have continued if the universe weren’t set against him. But it was. How much more evidence did he need? All it took was one job to change everything.

Erza showed up one day carting a ridiculous horn, and to everyone's shock asked Natsu and Gray to help her out on a job. That had quite simply never happened before, and even though they both tried to get out of it, there was no real way they could say no to Erza.

Despite all of Gray's attempts at keeping his distance from Natsu, they'd ended up being on a team together.

Gray had had a bad feeling about the job from the start. It didn’t help that he’d had that stupid nightmare the night before or that the new girl, Lucy, had tagged along. He didn’t know much about her, but he felt a slight resentment towards her for taking up so much of Natsu’s time. Time that Natsu would have otherwise spent fighting with him.

Erza had sent the two of them after the leader of a dark guild, and they'd decided to split up to be able to cover more ground. It was the right decision, but as Gray looked at Natsu's retreating back, he found himself whispering, "Don't die on me" like some lovesick girl.

He found he didn't care, watching Natsu walk away from him had been hard. The genuine fear that something would happen to the Fire Dragon Slayer just for being on a mission with him was an old one and not one he could quickly dispel. His mind immediately going to the last few seconds of his dream. It didn't help that ultimately the villain they'd had to fight was another Demon of Zeref.

But Gray was older now and stronger. Between him, Natsu and Erza they'd been able to defeat the demon made out of Living Magic with ease. And that was a turning point for him.

It took him a while to get used to the idea, but it turned out that unlike what he'd feared initially, being able to keep an eye on Natsu helped calm his anxiety. It also allowed him to do something he never thought he'd want to do. Observe Natsu outside of the guild.

To his amazement, there was a lot more to Natsu than he'd ever given him credit for. Sure he was an annoying cocky asshole, who whined if he didn't get his way, and was utterly useless in a vehicle, but he was also surprisingly kind.

Natsu considered everyone a friend unless they proved themselves otherwise. He was also very forgiving, and when he wasn't afflicted with excess energy or motion sickness, he could be a lot of fun to hang out with. He was incredibly creative as a fighter, able to think his way through difficult opponents and find ways to turn his perceived weaknesses into strengths, and that was something that Gray admired, even if he was loath to admit it.

A more troubling development to Gray was that he found himself admiring Natsu more than was considered normal between friends. Because of the dreaded dream, he'd not only turned Natsu into the most important person in his life for the last seven years but somewhere along the way he'd begun to care for him as well. To want to keep him close, and to do other things he was afraid to acknowledge, not liking what it might say about him.

But Gray was not one to lie to himself, and he'd certainly never felt that way about any of the girls in the guild. In fact, Gray had the nagging suspicion he might be gay.

He was slowly coming to terms with the idea. He hadn't talked to anyone about it, although he had a feeling that Erza had her suspicions. And of course, he had no idea which way Natsu swung, which made everything even more complicated. What did it mean when Lucy hung all over Natsu, and he didn't respond?

With Erza gone on a mission, Gray decided to step back from team jobs until she returned and do some soul searching, figure out what the hell he was feeling and what if anything he wanted to do about it.

He wasn’t troubled when Natsu and Lucy were absent from the guild when he arrived. He figured they’d have gone on a job to make some rent money for Lucy.

He sat in his usual spot at the bar, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. He was actually relaxing when Mira noticed an S-Class mission was missing. And then Laxus mentioned he'd seen Happy flying out the window of the forbidden second floor with a piece of paper.

Makarov asked Laxus to go fetch them before they got in over their heads and when the S-Class Mage refused Gray volunteered to go in his stead, hiding his rage so Makarov wouldn’t have a reason to deny his request.

Gray rushed to the port city of Hargeon, knowing they'd have to hire a boat to get to the island that had put in the job request. Finding them without much effort, he tried to convince them to come back before they were expelled, or even worse, Erza came looking for them.

He thought he’d been angry when he’d learned about Natsu’s recklessness. That was nothing compared to how he felt now that he’d come to in a boat after the moron had knocked him out and tied him up, determined to continue his mission no matter what.

And Gray could feel himself getting sucked into that smile, and those eyes and the unspoken challenge.

Xxx

"It's impossible!" Gray's voice came out in a whisper. They'd fallen into a cave that lay underneath some ancient ruins they'd found while exploring the island, looking for anything that might help them break the curse the island seemed to be under. Not surprisingly, Natsu's recklessness had caused the fall.

Gray still couldn't believe what he was looking at, and he couldn't stop staring. The creature from his nightmares, the one he'd thought had been moved to a glacier somewhere off the Northern Continent was in front of him, its features still in a hideous snarl. Just what had Natsu gotten them into? And Gods, why was Natsu here?

The logical part of his brain understood that Deliora was locked away and in no position to hurt Natsu or anyone, but the panicked part of him that had watched Natsu die more times than he cared to count was freaking out.

“How?”

Just how did Deliora even get to this small island? While he was filled with the familiar dread, he found he almost wanted to touch that ice. To feel his Master, who had given her life to seal his darkness. She'd been forced to cast Iced Shell, turning her body and will into a prison of unmeltable ice.

It had been the only way to defeat the demon, Gray knew that. But it had hurt, and it still haunted him. So much had changed for him since that day, but the guilt he felt at causing his Master's death had never gone away.

“You know what that is?” Lucy asked, her voice full of curiosity.

Gray nodded, not trusting himself to answer yet, his brain jumbled as all his thoughts and fears fought each other for control.

“Are you okay?” Natsu’s concerned gaze warmed Gray’s heart until he realized there was no reason for it.

Why was Natsu looking at him like that? The only person in the guild that knew anything about what happened to him was Jiichan, and Gray knew he'd never tell anyone. There was something else, having watched Natsu so closely all these years he could easily recognize when Natsu was feeling guilty about something.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Gray responded, feeling puzzled and already trying to think of reasons why Natsu might be feeling guilty. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Uhm, no reason,” Natsu looked away and stared at the monster in the ice and then back at Gray again, and now Lucy and Happy were also looking at the Fire Dragon Slayer strangely.

“Flame Brain?”

Natsu ignored him and asked in what passed as quietly for him, “What is that thing?”

Gray stared at him for a moment longer, still trying to make sense of what was going on. It would have to wait though, figuring out why Deliora was here was more important.

"Its name is Deliora. Ten years ago it went around the Northern Continent, destroying everything in its path. No one knew where it came from or how to stop it." Gray's voice sounded flat as he attempted to distance himself from the events that had changed his life so completely.

“My Master, Ur, gave her life to trap it in a prison of unmeltable ice. I don’t understand, it should be hundreds of miles from here.” Gray looked at his friends, his brow furrowed as he tried to work out the problem in front of them.

“We should keep exploring, “ Lucy suggested, “Maybe we can find something that can help explain this.”

“You guys can go explore if you want,” Gray revealed, “I’m going to stay here until the moon comes out. The villagers said the curse had something to do with the moon. It can’t be a coincidence.”

Natsu, Lucy, and Happy began to argue about what to do but having already made his decision, Gray tuned them out.

He sat across from the large block of ice and stared at it with hatred. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he didn't want to take his eyes off the demon. Just as he was beginning to travel through his memories, he felt someone sit next to him. He assumed it would be Lucy wanting to ask a lot of questions, but to his surprise, it was Natsu.

"Okay, that's it," Gray snapped, happy to redirect his frustration to something else. "You're acting strange as hell. What's going on in that pea-sized brain of yours?"

"Nothing, can't a guy just offer support to his friend?" Natsu attempted to look offended at the question but failed miserably.

“Natsu?” Gray pressed, “I can’t help but notice that you were the only one who didn’t look surprised by what I said.”

“I was, I mean what happened in Isvan was terrible, I just process stuff differently,” Natsu sputtered.

“Funny, I never said anything about Isvan,” Gray’s eyes narrowed as he took in his friend’s discomfort.

“Uhm you didn’t?” Natsu laughed nervously as his fingers played with the fringes of his scarf in a gesture that Gray recognized all too well. “Pretty sure you did.”

"That's it!" Gray grabbed Natsu by his beloved scarf and pulled him closer to him, his other hand already shaped into a fist. "We've got hours to wait, and I'd love nothing better than to beat you into a pulp for getting us into this mess. So spill or else!"

“Guys, come on, we’re in the middle of a job,” Lucy tried to calm the situation down, “ Isn’t this reckless even for you?”

“Stay out of it!” Natsu and Gray yelled in unison.

“They wouldn’t be so high and mighty if Erza were here,” Lucy muttered to Happy making the cat snort in agreement.

Gray stared into Natsu’s eyes, catching the way they flickered away from him nervously before he was shoved away forcefully. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

Natsu gazed down at his hands as he spoke, “I went into one of your dreams.”

“What are you talking about?” Gray was panicking, which dream had Natsu seen? “How is that even possible?”

“Look, don’t get mad, okay?” Natsu pleaded, “It was a spell I learned from a book. It was supposed to be a prank. I just wanted to challenge you to a fight when you weren’t expecting it. I thought it would be funny.” Natsu looked miserable.

“But it wasn’t, it was terrible, and I -- I saw some of what happened back then,” Natsu admitted, “You probably don’t remember…”

“You think I don’t remember?” Gray retorted, his voice glacial as he tried to keep himself from pouncing at Natsu and beating the ever-living shit out of him for the blatant invasion of his privacy.

“I never did it again, I swear,” Natsu was quick to reassure him, “I don’t even remember how to do it anymore!”

“You asshole!” Gray seethed, and this time he did punch the moron in the jaw as hard as he could, and he felt no remorse whatsoever. “Do you have any idea what you did?”

Natsu rubbed his jaw, “Okay, I probably deserved that. What are you talking about?”

“Your stupid spell, it somehow changed my dream. For the last seven years, I’ve watched you give up your life for me. My nightmare turned into Deliora killing you!”

Natsu gaped at him, his mouth opening and closing like a fish until words finally came out, “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

"I was ten, I just thought it'd be funny. I wasn't expecting… and I felt bad about it ever since." Gray could hear the regret in Natsu's words, and he slowly began to calm down. He looked behind them to see Lucy and Happy staring at them in shock, neither seeming capable of saying anything.

“Can you guys give us a minute?”

“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea,” Lucy started before Natsu interrupted her.

"We'll be fine, just see if you can find anything more in the ruins, Happy can fly you back to us if you get into any trouble." Natsu smiled at her reassuringly, and Gray could feel the rumblings of jealousy in his stomach, but he ignored it.

They waited for Lucy and Happy to get far enough away before saying anything more, each needing the extra time to figure out how to proceed.

“If you felt so badly, why didn’t you tell me before?” Gray demanded angrily.

“How could I?” Natsu pointed out, “You’re so fucking private, it’s impossible to have that type of conversation with you. Besides, soon after that, you were only interested in using me as a punching bag.”

Gray sighed, knowing Natsu was telling the truth. He'd made it his personal mission to both make Natsu stronger and push him away. It was the only way he knew to keep him safe. "Fine, but just for the record, it would have been nice to know."

“Can I ask you something about the dream?” Natsu entreated, olive eyes pleading with Gray.

Gray thought about it and decided it couldn't hurt, with what he'd seen in the dream Natsu already knew more about his past than anyone else in the guild, barring Jiichan. There were some things he wanted to know too, and he wasn't sure they would get another chance to talk about it.

He nodded his head slowly waiting for Natsu’s question.

“There was one thing I never understood,” Natsu puzzled, “The blood on your hands that appeared out of nowhere. What was that about?”

Gray sucked in his breath, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach. Damn instinctual lizard!

“I have a lot of blood on my hands, “ Gray tried to explain, “My mother and my father both died trying to protect me from that thing.”

Gray's voice oozed with hatred as he glared at the frozen demon, "And you've already seen what happened to my Master."

"And then I went and did the same thing," Natsu guessed, frowning as Gray confirmed it with a nod, "I'm so sorry Ice Block. You have to believe I never meant for this to happen."

Gray managed to chuckle, “I know, Pinky. You’re not smart enough to pull off something like this on purpose.”

“Hey!” Natsu grumbled, even though he knew the ice mage was right. He let the insult pass, not wanting to break the tentative truce they’d reached.

“My turn, why did you do it? You knew you were in a dream, it wasn’t real to you.”

“It was plenty real, seeing how you were acting made it real to me,” Natsu explained slowly making it seem to Gray like he was reliving the experience, the pain in his voice only reinforced that thought. “I couldn’t let it kill you, I had to protect you, just like you had been trying to protect me throughout the dream. I guess maybe we’re not all that different, huh?”

“I guess not.”

“Wait! Is the dream why you were such an asshole to me?”

“Partly. I wanted to make sure you were as strong as you could be,” Gray suddenly laughed mischievously, “ but you’re also annoying as fuck.”

Natsu grumbled, but Gray could see an amused smile on his lips, even as he muttered, "You're one to talk."

“Natsu, promise me that if we have to fight this thing, you won’t do what you did in the dream.”

“How about this?” Natsu hedged, “How about we try to do the one thing we didn’t try then?”

“You mean to fight it together?”

“Yeah, I mean we did pretty well against Lullaby,”

"Lullaby was weaker, and we had Erza with us," Gray pointed out, "Nothing against her, but I don't think any of Lucy's spirits are going to be strong enough to help if it came down to it."

Natsu snorted, “You really don’t think Erza will show up soon? They sent you to come get me, and we haven’t returned. Who do you think is going to be next?”

Gray thought about it and realized Natsu was right, odds were that Erza would get there soon and that could change many things, but only if she got there in time.

“I can’t watch you die again, Natsu,” Gray said honestly, “Not like that.”

“Stop looking at me like that,” Natsu complained.

“Like what?”

“Like you already think I’m going to die, I was ten back then. I’m a lot stronger now, so are you!” Natsu reminded him, “If this thing somehow comes back to life we’ll take it out, and whoever is behind this. We’re Fairy Tail, it’s what we do!”

They both grinned at that, feeling reassured by the familiar phrase. Natsu and Gray both sat down, keeping watch over Deliora together.

“Can I ask you one last thing?”

“Are you sure we can handle any more touchy-feely crap?” Gray snorted.

“You’re probably right,” Natsu agreed and went back to staring at the demon.

“Ugh, just ask. Now I’m curious.”

"Uhm okay, it's just that lately I've noticed you staring at me oddly, and your scent changes when you do. When I asked Erza about it, she said I should just ask you, but it never seemed like a good time."

Gray had been expecting all sorts of questions but not that one, and he could feel his cheeks flush with embarrassment at being caught ogling his friend. Shit! What was he supposed to say? This wasn't exactly the best time to confess his feelings, or was it? Deliora might kill them, and then he'd never know if his feelings might have been returned.

Natsu peered at him, looking confused once again as he sniffed the air.

“What is wrong with you? You look like Happy does when I catch him sneaking a fish…”

“Level with me, how far away are Lucy and Happy?”

Natsu lifted an eyebrow but did as Gray asked, sniffing the air some more, “Pretty far away, I can barely make out their scents.”

This was insanity, Gray knew it, but fortune favored the bold and all that bs that Jiichan loved to spout at them.

“Look, that dream messed me up, I spent a lot of time worrying about you, and then thinking about you and somewhere along the way I started to like you.”

“You... like me?” Natsu repeated the words slowly, like someone who was trying to understand a difficult passage in a book. His face scrunched in disbelief as he peered over at Gray.

Gray nodded, and he could feel his face changing colors once again, making him wish he hadn’t said anything because he had no idea what Natsu’s response meant.

“Well, aren’t you going to make fun of me?” Gray snapped when the minutes passed without Natsu saying anything.

“Why would I make fun of you for that?” Natsu stared at Gray with a perplexed expression, “I’m just trying to wrap my head around it, I mean you have to admit you act like you barely tolerate my existence most of the time.”

Gray scratched the back of his head, “This is… confusing for me. I’ve never thought of another guy this way, or girl really, so I’ve been kind of fighting it.”

"You shouldn't fight your feelings. You are what you are, and nothing will change that. Igneel used to say that to me all the time, and now I'm saying it to you." Natsu smiled at Gray, his tone encouraging but his gaze sad as he mentioned his long lost father.

"That sounds wise for an overgrown lizard," Gray retorted, trying desperately to lighten the tone of their conversation. They were already surrounded by his past, and now Natsu was bringing up his. "What else did he have to say?"

“He said that when I fell in love, I should fall in love with the person, regardless of the body they were in.”

“Didn’t realize dragons were so liberal.” Gray smiled.

“I still miss him, you know,” Natsu said with a sigh.

“I know,” Gray said simply, “I miss my parents and Ur too, but hey at least you might see him again someday.”

“You think so?”

"I know so, you're too stubborn to ever give up," Gray smirked as he took a chance and ruffled Natsu's hair roughly, trying to get a rise out of him, "It's one of the things I like about you."

"How did you know you liked me?" Natsu asked seriously.

"I, uhm, think about you a lot, and I worry about you being safe, and sometimes just thinking about some of the things you do brings a smile to my face," Gray answered, feeling incredibly embarrassed but sensing that Natsu was trying to sort through something. "I want to feel closer to you and do things like hug you when you're upset. Uhm, and finding you attractive was sort of a big hint too."

“Is that what that is?” Natsu looked at him with amazement.

Gray nodded, expecting Natsu to realize that’s how he felt about Lucy. He looked back to Deliora, not wanting to see the moment Natsu realized he liked someone else.

“I guess I like you too then,” Natsu surprised Gray by wrapping him up in a fiery embrace.

“All those things you said, I feel them too.” Natsu let go of Gray before the ice mage even had a chance to register what was happening. He grinned cheerfully as he asked, “So, does this mean you’re mine?”

Gray was still feeling embarrassed by the whole exchange, but he was able to nod in agreement.

"I haven't had someone of my very own since Igneel left," Natsu said happily, and Gray's heart melted at his innocence. He wanted to kiss him then but was stopped from doing so by a sword being pointed at his neck.

“You were supposed to bring the idiots back, not go with them,” Erza growled in displeasure, “I had to hijack a pirate ship to get here.”

Natsu and Gray turned to see Lucy and Happy bound and gagged behind a fuming Erza.

With the appearance of Erza, Gray found himself releasing a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding. He wasn't sure how the rest of this quest would pan out, but he did know that if it came down to it the three of them would be able to defeat Deliora like they had Lullaby. He would trust his friends to help him overcome his demons, instead of pushing them away like he'd done before.

And when all was said and done, he and Natsu would embark on their own adventure. Gray felt himself growing excited about his future for the first time since he was a child and looking at the ice that covered the demon he knew that wherever Ur was, she was glad.

A/N: I finished it, I’m not entirely thrilled with it but I know it’s the best I can do for now. Perhaps I’ll revisit it at a later time. Thank you to everyone who left me messages of encouragement. My husband has his first interview tomorrow, so hopefully, something will pan out soon. This is my last entry for Gratsu Week as my bonus day entry has already been posted. Thank you so much for reading!

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[nyxwordsmith]

Ahhhhh chptr 22 was so good (of chemically imbalanced) mood my god I swear to god I’m in love with ur writing. How long have you been writing any tips?? ☁️💫🎩

I’m so glad you enjoyed it!! It was a hard chapter to write (it didn’t wanna flow D’:) but I’m glad it was still enjoyable! I, uh, have been writing for a really long time. Like...fifteen years? Since I was eight at least. I always liked telling stories and it was easier sometimes to write it down. I have always had an overactive imagination XD

 As for writing tips, I have a few.

1) Write what you like. It took me a really long time to find my own personal little ‘niche’, but I found it eventually. It’s no fun if you’re busy trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams for writing and that was a hard lesson for me to learn too. If you’re not enjoying the process, what’s the point?

2) Explore other options. It’s all well and good to have a niche, but go crazy. Go wild. Try new things. Try new genres, tones, content, characters, pacing, whatever tickles your fancy. You can explore anything you want, have fun with it!

3) Constructive criticism is helpful. Constructive criticism is helpful to learning, and developing your own creative voice. However, understanding what is, and is not, constructive criticism will be 100000 times more beneficial. On the flip side, there is a limit to how much you should sway to criticism. Understanding your own voice, and style, will help with that. Don’t push away feedback but analyse it carefully.

4) Develop your voice/style. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now that many of the writers/authors on here have unique styles and ‘voices’ to their writing. It took me a good portion of the last 15 years to figure mine out. And it could change in the next 5-10. Who knows. But developing your style/voice can make your writing even more enjoyable.

5) Learn from others. I find it impossible to approach other author’s and pick their brains, but I love studying their writing. I love coming across a sentence structure, or a really nice metaphor and I can’t help but explore it a little in my own work. Studying their work, or talking to them about it, can help you develop your own voice/style as well as pick out mistakes before they happen.

6) You don’t have to post/share everything you write. This one is more of a personal tip. For a good 5 years, I wasn’t posting or sharing my work with anyone. These was for various reasons, but in those five years my writing changed a lot. It also allowed me to enjoy some self-indulgent and carthartic writing that I didn’t want anyone to see. It’s okay to write for yourself, and keep it to yourself. You don’t owe anyone your work.

7) You don’t owe anyone your work. This is still one I actually struggle with XD If you stop enjoying a fic your writing, if you hate where the plot is leading, if a character isn’t working anymore, you do not have to continue it. Back to point 1: Write what you enjoy. Because if you’re not enjoying it? You’re going to avoid it.

8) Not everything will be perfect. It is okay to have fics or ideas that aren’t perfect. Not every idea is going to be perfect. It’s okay to have fics go in the wrong direction or change plot altogether. What you choose to do with them is up to you. I, personally, have scrapped a fic I was halfway through to re-write because I hated where it was going. I’ve re-written an original story of mine on-and-off for years because I find flaws in the plot or I want to explore “what if the main had this backstory?” It’s okay for your work not to be perfect. Some people may not like it, some may be cruel about it, but what matters is that (1) You wrote it and (2) You had the balls to share it.

9) Draft. Draft. Draft. Draft. The first time you sit down to write a chapter or a fic, it’s not going to be perfect. You may misspell. You may miss punctuation. That’s fine! Once you’ve reached a point you’re happy with, take a break and come back to it, edit. Evaluate your writing. Is this where I want Character A to go? Where can I take this interaction? Could I use it later?

10) Plan the way that works for you. I see plenty of posts about “How You Should Plan To Write The Best Fic/Novel Ever” but not every author is the same. Take my girlfriend and I for example. My gf will plan her entire fic, chapter by chapter, writing notes for interactions and plot points to cover later. Each chapter has a summary that she’ll follow and a word count she normally limits herself to. I, on the otherhand, do very little planning. I will create a plot, character interactions/ships and an intended ending, but other than that it’s free range. Each chapter is based of what happened last time, where I want to go. My mind works from scene to scene. I bring this up because if I plan the way my girlfriend does, I feel trapped. I feel like I don’t have the room to explore new ideas as they come up. While I’m sure if my gf planned the way I do, she’d feel lost and without direction. It’s important to find a way that works for you and it may also change over time. That’s fine.

Last one, promise!

11) It’s okay for your work to change. By this, I mean over time. I look back at work I wrote way back in 2012 and I hate it BUT. But I can see where and how I’ve improved. I can see that my style changed, I developed my own voice, and my planning style changed. It’s okay for this to happen. Let it happen as you explore your own writing.

WOW Okay, I got a little carried away, but these are things I kinda wish someone had told me way back when. So I hope these help you on your journey and if you have any questions, want me to elaborate, or even just want me to look over a fic? Hit me up!

[imbriums-blog]

hello my angels ! i’m sorry this is so late but i’m sarah & i’m 18 yrs old & live in the hellhole that is ohio so the est timezone ! i’m ur token harry potter nerd & lover of all things musical... anyways u can hear more about 5/10 of my problematic children under the cut ! i’m gonna try to keep it short but i lov to talk so we’ll see ! if you’re willing to plot give this post a big mf like & i’ll come crawlin’ to ur ims !

— ✯ | barbara delaney savenkov ! + pinterest board !

tw: death, murder

laura harrier, cisfemale, she/her — have you met barbara delaney savenkov yet ? the twenty-three year old is known for being both poised and enticing, but also very skeptical and deceiving. born in san francisco, barbie now lives in soho, waiting tables at the fork and assassinating people on the side for some extra cash. + wanted connections !

so barbara was born n raised in san francisco, california to a solidly middle class family. her parents were divorced growing up, although they were friendly & got along well enough to be friends & co-parent barbie. she’d always been quite an idealist like Yes The World Is Good but when she was twenty, her dad had died due to a rogue heart attack that seemingly happened for no reason & it completely shattered barbara.

that’s when a local gang found her, at her ultimate low, & roped her into their business. she stayed w them for two years or so & at some point or another barbara started to realize that she didn’t think this business & way to make money was a good one. eventually, they starting cutting pay & barbara started to feel like she was bein manipulated. working w the gang kind of made her give up her optimism & is what truly formed her into the stone cold but somehow still elegant & captivating barbie she is today ! her idealistic attitude & never-ending optimism died with all of the shady shit that gang made her do.

then barbara was offered a job as an assassin for a powerful man doin some shady shit & she was unable to refuse even tho her first instinct was to turn it down – it offered great money & stability, & with the impression that she’d only be hurting people who deserved it, barbara shakily accepted the deal & left the gang !

she’s not pleased w the fact that she’s murdering ppl for a living, obviously, but she tries to make do with what she has & tells herself that the ppl she’s killing deserve it but !! messy !

personality-wise, barbara comes off as super intimidating at first n like she just doesn’t have feelings… super proper n always sitting upright n stiff as fuck… scares ppl away bc she seems like a robot at first

she's that kid who studies for the test like 3 weeks before it actually happens and has color coordinated highlighting and bullet journals.. she wants to be on top of everything, constantly – she doesn’t like feeling unorganized or like she’s falling apart ? i think it’s partially bc she tends to over perfect areas of her life like that, and like color coordinating her closet and making sure everything is tidy to make up for the Mess that is her secret career ??

one of the most annoying things ever is how perfect she seems on the surface ?? like, she likes everybody n is probably the type of person who rescues stray kittens from trees n sings as little birdies fly down & comb her hair or some shit but anyone close to barbie in real life knows she is a hardcore mess

that friend who’s like “oh my god i look so fat in this picture” n literally everybody groans bc shut the fuck up karen ur perfect

could literally say “fuck off” to somebody n the tone of voice she uses would make them think she was complimenting them

— ✯ | cordelia esther king ! + pinterest board !

alycia debnam-carey, cisfemale, she/her — have you met cordelia esther king yet ? the twenty-two year old is known for being both affable and buoyant, but also very whimsical and corybantic. born in salem, delia now lives in lambeth, working as a wedding planner and forming unrealistic expectations of true love.

so ngl cordelia is very inspired by jane from 27 dresses but w/ some twists so i’m not completely unoriginal

she was born to a pastor for a father in salem aka witch town ! cordelia was raised as kind of a perfect goody goody two shoes u know.. classic girl next door who sleeps w a teddy bear even at twenty-two & her entire room is covered in pink, she spends her spare time baking n blushing over boys smiling at her wtvr... she was always strong-willed & opinionated but shut up out of fear of being made fun of u know, kids these days r mean

so then when cordelia is old enough to leave her parents house ( let’s say like a year ago ) she decides that she’s tired of being the nice girl in the shadows & that she wants to live life more on the edge so she vows to start living life dangerously & being badass... whatever that means

it’s actually kind of funny, because she’ll stroll into a bar & bat her eyelashes at the bartender & single ppl in the room to try & get them to order a drink for her solely bc she doesn’t know the names of any drinks... has no common sense & is too naive for her own good ( what is a handjob... what does “on the rocks” mean ) but the girl’s trying to [ troy bolton vc ] break free so who am i to judge ?

she’s a wedding planner who’s actually in love with the idea of love & has watched the notebook 1 too many times... despite her being wildt nowadays she’s still into the whole “when i meet the one for me my foot will pop when we kiss & i’ll feel fireworks” thing.. it’s cute but also sad but ! cute !

personality-wise... she’s outspoken & friendly & incredibly flirty, but at the same time she probably either assumes you’re flirting w her when you’re really not or has no clue that you’re hitting on her when ur literally kissing her

is totally sandy at the end of grease when she’s like “tell me about it, stud” acting all badass but then doesn’t know what to do w her cigarette butt & looks nervously at her friends like WTF DO I DO

please come corrupt her or fuck her up... or be nice 2 her & teach her how to be a human being

— ✯ | dexter leroy bates ! + pinterest board !

torrance coombs, cismale, he/him — have you met dexter leroy bates yet ? the thirty-one year old is known for being both inventive and idealistic, but also very farouche and indecisive. born in hackney, dex now lives in croydon, editing badly filmed videos and gluing himself to a camera 24/7.

basically a nerdy starving artist based on mark from rent with a lil bit of peter parker in him

a broke ass bitch living in croydon trying his best to make it as a photographer / film maker

he has huge dreams of hollywood but his films r probably kinda bad... but he tries his best n i love him for it

kinda nerdy & word vomit-y... super cute... would die for his friends but also would kill u for insulting one of them

is that nerd that is actually hot n buff n shit but u never notice bc he wears hoodies n hides behind a camera bc i lov stereotyping apparently

i don’t really have his backstory worked out yet tbfh so really ? go wild w connections for my son

— ✯ | davina leigh cordero ! + pinterest board !

lauren jauregui, cisfemale, she/her — have you met davina leigh cordero yet ? the twenty-one year old is known for being both intuitive and diligent, but also very seclusive and obstinate. born in whitby, davina now lives in soho, studying journalism and avoiding as much human interaction as possible.

100% based on rory gilmore bc apparently even tho i’m on season 2 i luv the characters Too Much

basically everything i aspire 2 be in a person... hardworking as fuck, loves school so fricking much, antisocial as hell ! 

davina is deadass brilliant & her idea of wild is staying up past 11 on a school night or waiting to do her homework on saturday instead of friday

sweet, a lil bit awkward, but the cutest ever n i would die for her

would much rather be chillin w her books than anything else tbh & doesn’t know how to hold proper interactions but it’s more charming than anything else

grew up with only her dad mostly, since her mom worked full time & lived out of town for reasons but they both love her a ton. her dad would give her the whole world if he could, & owns a quaint little coffee shop in whitby & is constantly calling davina to check up on her... when she got older her mom moved back in w her dad so since then she’s gotten a lot closer to her but there’s still just such a bond between her dad & her u know

what is romance ? davina doesn’t know

come fuck her up

— ✯ | sawyer maisie pitman ! + pinterest board !

josefine frida pettersen, cisfemale, she/her — have you met sawyer maisie pitman yet ? the twenty year old is known for being both undaunted and driven, but also very apathetic and blunt. born in bristol, sawyer now lives in wandsworth, being a tragically pathetic starving artist & student.

so sawyer was adopted as a baby, unnamed, to two moms who love her more than anything in the world. one’s a publisher & one’s an english professor, & they’re both huge fricking nerds, so she was named after tom sawyer !

as soon as she could walk she was talented with art & everything that had to do with it & not long after entering high school she decided that that’s what she wanted to do & nothing was going to get in the way of it

now, as a student & hopeful artist, sawyer is dead set on getting where she wants to be & has no tolerance for bullshit... like if u ain’t helping her further her career, ur unimportant to her

relationships ? cancelled. romance is a DISTRACTION from her work & only complicates her life !

blunt as fuck & doesn’t sugar coat things. she says things like they are & expects others to do the same bc she has no time for drama or whatnot

stubborn as fuck & nearly impossible to talk to sometimes bc she’s so set in her ways but hey love me a strong woman amirite

sharp-tongued & sarcastic as fuck but can be incredibly kind when the time is right !