ohhayitsjesss-blog

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Enid: "EW"?! Enid: Stop trying to ruin our arts and crafts date! Wednesday: … Wednesday: Enid. Those are our initials. Enid: …oh. Wednesday: Don’t act like it’s not your fault. You’re named like a grandmother. Enid: SaYS THE ONE NAMED AFTER HUMP DAY?!

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Wednesday: We would like to purchase this dress. Cashier: *stares, pale in the face* W-We…?! Wednesday: Yes. We. She wants to wear dresses. Enid: Woof. Bork. Bork. Woof.  Wednesday: And as you can see, she is ten feet tall at the moment, and tore her favorite one for the full moon tonight. Enid: Woof. :(

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Morticia: Now Enid, would you care for some Chinese take-out for dinner? Enid: You guys do take-out?? The Addamses: *stare* Wednesday: We’re not pilgrims, Enid.

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*enid painting her nails* Morticia: She really is a lovely girl for you, Wednesday. Wednesday: Thanks. Morticia: But…, why the pastels? Wednesday: I can fix her.

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Yoko: Okay. Most dramatic between you. Go. Wednesday: Enid. Enid: Wednesday. Wednesday: … Wednesday: No I’m not. Enid: When we couldn’t go on a date because of my gymnastics tryouts, you literally pouted the whole day, and then when it started raining, dug yourself a hole to drown yourself. Yoko: Oop— Wednesday: …a point may have been made.

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Ophelia Hall: *boppin* Yoko: WHAT ARE YOU TWO BLASTING?! IT’S MIDNIGHT! Enid: I FOUND MUSIC WEDNESDAY ACTUALLY LIKES! Wednesday: :) Yoko: PHONK?! REALL— Actually, yeah. Wednesday: It is everything I loathe of the internet, but corrupted to our darkest desires. Wednesday: :)

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Enid: Wednesday…

Draw me like one of your French girls.

Wednesday: Of course, ma lune… *fifteen minutes* Enid: …where’s my h-head? Wednesday: In the basket. Wednesday: You were sentenced for lunacy. Wednesday: >:)

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Wednesday: Enid. I got us a cat. Enid: OMG?? CAN I—  Enid: … Wednesday: What? Enid: …why does it look like that? Wednesday: Like what? The child that we will raise? Together? Enid: Did you put googly-eyes on it…? Wednesday: Well it is taxidermy.

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Wednesday: Murray: Wednesday: Esther: What is your friend doing…?! Enid: Girlfriend. And they’re conversing. Wednesday: Enid: I think about coffee. Murray: *raises mug*

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Enid: Hey We— Enid: Wednesday, what are you doing? Wednesday: I’m critiquing your stories. Enid: My… Wednesday: Word of advice, you can use the character’s names more often. There’s no need to constantly replace them with ‘the singer’ or 'the idol’. Enid: Wednesday. Where did you find these…? Wednesday: … Wednesday: You are registered to an archive as…pasteldogenjoyer. I was intrigued to see you have been working on your writing. It has gotten better. Enid: Really?!

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Ajax: Whose shoes are these?? Ajax: They’re like cinderblocks meant for Barbie. Bianca: Yoko: Enid: …u-um. Wednesday: Enid. Lift me up. I need to have a word.

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Jayce: So who’s the cuddler to the snuggler? Vi & Caitlyn: ?? Jacye: Big spoon and little spoon. Vi: Oh, totally little. No question. Jayce: Not a surpr— Wait what? Vi: Yeah. Her tits are the best pillows. Caitlyn: Would you stOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT?!?!

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Akko: So yeah, I think that the test was stupid because I couldn’t find the stupid map that I had to transcribe for fifteen minutes and nobody would help me even though I was being as quite as I possibly could and even the professor wouldn’t help me! Like come on! Professor Finnelan would've — Diana, in her head: I-Is this…courtship? Am I doing it? Akko: — been more of a help because she would’ve stared at me with that glare—you know, wait, actually you don’t because she never gets mad at youbecause you’re perfect or whatever. Anyway, and then she’d rip up off the floor and handed it over so that I could work and stuff. So yeah. Um…how was your day then? I bet you got a perfect score on the test. Diana: O-Oh, exemplary. Akko: Cool. Mine was fine other than the test because I — *in the distance* Barbara: Look at Diana flirting with Akko! It’s so cute! Hannah: Oh please. It’s really not considering she’s only said five words now, and the fact that she looks so proud with herself is embarrassing. Barbara: …it’s still kinda cute though?

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Akko: Why does Sucy look like she’s having an existential crisis? Amanda: …um, cuz she is? Akko: … Akko: What tf did you do?! Amanda: I just asked her a question I swear! *three hours earlier* Amanda: Yo, Sucy. Sucy: What? Amanda: Been wondering, are you a sadistic masochist, or a masochistic sadist? Sucy: I— Sucy: I-I’m a— Sucy: ?!?! Sucy: What the fuck am I?!

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they adopt a cat named floof (Wenclair One-Shot)

wednesday, for her girlfriend, gets a cat. she finds a way to bypass the “no pet” policy in order to do so. :)

(inspired by this post)

[1,268 Words] | [Last Edit: 11/12/2022] (Full One-Shot Post)

Note: This one-shot has been reposted from my old account onto this one. If it looks familiar, that's why.

Hope you enjoy! :)

Enid has figured, months ago, that she might as well be dating an Eldritch horror.

At first, she thought that Wednesday is just an angsty little goth. Come to find, her aesthetic and snapped wit are the most outwardly charming things about her. Because, as much as Enid loves her, Wednesday is really, really fucked in the head. 

Fucked head or not, though, Wednesday has a heart. She does. Sure, it may be in her foot for all Enid knows, but watching how she plays along with Eugene’s bee-scapades, and how cordial she and Bianca have gotten, she knows there’s a heart of gold in Wednesday. (That or she’s color-blind and it’s not gold but rather, in fact, dirt.)

Not that it matters. After too long of a day, Enid is ready to collapse onto Wednesday’s bed and badger her until she stops her “hour of novel writing” in exchange for, uh, osculation. 

Some days the struggle is short-lived. Wednesday gets needy too. But other days, the “hour of novel writing” is extended to several, and a long, long pout-full sleep on her bed. Hopefully today is the former. Given the labs, and the lectures, and the other labs, Enid really just needs to scratch an itch. And by that, it’s really Wednesday scratching it, and then Enid taking a nap afterwards. With Wednesday. (They cuddle.)

The door is nudged open. A hinge creaks, and a floorboard groans. Her eyes find Wednesday immediately. By the window. Waiting for her. Mildly surprised, but, ultimately, glad. Enid smiles widely. “Wednesday! Your novel's…”

“Done for the day. I did it this morning.” She straightens as Enid closes the door. "Enid,“ Wednesday prompts, and though she catches a quirk down her lips, Enid can’t help but feel…cautious. A Wednesday with her hands behind her back is a Wednesday with too big of a trick up her sleeve. "I have a surprise for you." See?!

Wait.

Cautious or not, a wide smile flourishes. "A…surprise?”

“Yes.” A blink. (Surprisingly. Heh.) “You said that you wanted a pet to keep us and Thing in better company.”

If Enid could jump Wednesday’s cold, frigid bones, she would. But, alas, as much as she loves Thing, Enid isn’t sure if she’d appreciate two running around—as a hand, and then a paw. So she stands herself squarely and musters a curious face. “Yeah, I-I did… So…?" A grin is pressed. Oh fuck, she can’t bear holding herself together any longer. Her hands are clasped. The grin cracks glee. "What is the little one…?! A gerbil? A ferret? A—” Enid practically melts off the face of the earth. “A kitten?!”

Wednesday maintains her composure, but that quirk down her lips worms. “Not quite. Close your eyes.”

She does as told, and she hears Wednesday shift with the surprise in her arms. Her grin is wide with her tongue snagged between teeth.

“Enid. I got us a cat.”

There’s a hop, and a skip, and yip! before she has the chance to open her eyes. "O-M-G! Can we name it Floof—?!“ When Enid does open her eyes, she… U-Um. Well, um. She sees orange. And the cat is…staring at her. Except it’s disconcerting and not at all like Wednesday; rather than stare deep into her soul to lobotomize it, the cat is, like, staring…through…it?

Wednesday tilts her head. Another blink. "What?”

The—

The cat isn’t fucking moving. It just…isn’t. It's—

Oh my fuck, what the God did you do, Wednesday?! 

Enid stands in place, feet anchored to the ground, as she stares at the… The— M-Muppet. Dead muppet. There’s a swallow, and then, a squeaked, "…w-why does it look like that?“

Wednesday lobotomizes Enid’s soul (affectionately). "Like what? The child we shall raise? Together?” …that shouldn’t have flipped Enid’s heart over. It’s practically roasting on a skillet now.

Enid lurches a quite tentative step forward. She meets…Floof by its vacant stare. "Did you put googly-eyes on it?“

"Well it is taxidermy,” Wednesday confirms, bluntly. She gazes down at the cat’s face, and the black dots follow. “I felt you would have appreciated her eyes.”

“Instead of what?”

Wednesday stares back at her. “The eyes I found bludgeoned from her head.”

Where did she get this cat?! Enid follows Wednesday to her desk. …Floof is gently set down beside the typewriter, and as Wednesday fixes a bent whisker in place, Enid hears Thing scatter across the room and back under one of the beds. 

Judging from the multitude of blemishes across…her body, it’s clear that Floof spent all nine lives at once. Poor thing. Yet, she looks as alive as Enid supposed she was not months ago—googly-eyes discounted. She imagines Wednesday’s lithe fingers spindling to sew the worst of death, hide it away, and it’s a mellow thought, if morbid. Her coat looks soft, and her body, strong. Put back together, at least. "That's— That’s such a pretty pattern on Fl-Floof’s back,“ Enid comments.

"Goodyear, for a truck—winter coverage.”

…a-ah. Okay.

Wednesday lingers in place, with her eyes avoidant, and hands tied together. It takes a moment before she begins to ramble—a rarity, with Wednesday, and Enid feels her own heart pool to her foot: “You said you wanted a cat, but I told you—again—that we can’t because of the academy’s policy, but you looked like you wanted to kill yourself when I said that—”

“…Wednesday, I’m not…s-suicidal.”

“—so I went out searching for one, on the roads, and I found this one. She looks like a lot of your sweaters, which is disgusting, so I figured it’d work out. We wouldn’t have to pay for any of the necessities she needed alive, though I’m sure enough nail-paint and -remover will do the equivalent.”

Enid grimaces, though her eyes land on Floof’s white paws, and they snag each toe. “She does have nice nails.”

“I filed them.”

A hum down her mouth, because Enid can smell the anxiety off her neck—even from around the desk, despite whether or not Wednesday herself realizes it. But it's…funny, really. There’s a sort of beauty about it, how mental gymnasticshas become the sound way to understand Wednesday’s language:

Want a pet? Can’t have one because of rules. So, here’s a dead one. With pretty nails you can paint, and a head big enough for a bow.

Enid watches her quietly. Wednesday plays with her hands, spindles them together. Her lips are thin. She’s nervous. Her eyes are cast down. She anticipates.

“How long did this take…?”

Wednesday, slowly, murmurs, “Two weeks. I had to…help with the odor. You would’ve vomited or kissed the floor otherwise.” A pause, then, “…and broken your…pretty nose. Again.”

“That did hurt, yeah…” Enid breathes. (It’s still sore. She swears she’ll set Wednesday’s side of the room on fire, someday.) She rounds the desk’s corner, and Wednesday is swiftly tucked in her arms. There’s that initial frigid moment before Wednesday unwinds, and her body remembers that, yes, it’s Enid, and Enid has the permission. She nudges her pretty nose along Wednesday’s neck. “Thank-you…” is murmured.

“We’re going to reconsider the name." You’re welcome.

"No we’re not." No we’re not. 

Together, they eye Floof, and Floof…is staring at both the door and window simultaneously. With— 

Aww, her tongue is almost sticking out. What a cute touch, Wednesday… 

"You’re needy.”

“It’s almost a full moon…?”

Wednesday twists her head, and Enid seeks for treasure.

They osculate. And her lips feel like death, but they’re the most liveliest thing, all at once.

Hope you enjoyed! :)

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