#if this is incoherent it's bc I thought of it at 1 am and remained laser focused drawing this for an hour with a rabid determination

[404-art-found]

horsing around

[lifeofpriya]

"I love you." "Damn, that's crazy." from Established Relationship bc while reading though the prompts 1) this is so me and 2) it made me giggle alot lmao

bestie, i remember you wanting a pt. 2 of this fic, so pt. 2, i shall deliver 🫡🫶🏼

Will They, Won't They pt.2

wc: 3.2k

You shift slightly, trying to get comfortable, and Jack's arm tightens around you. His breathing remains steady, but you can feel the tension in his body, as if he's holding himself back. Or is it just your imagination playing tricks on you?

The night stretches on; the only interruptions are the occasional car passing by or the distant sound of a siren wailing. Each time you drift off, the noise jolts you back to reality, the coldness of the couch seeping into your bones. But Jack's warmth is a comfort, his heartbeat a constant reminder that you're not alone in the dark.

As the first light of dawn seeps through the blinds, you feel the beginnings of a headache. You've had enough of the couch, enough of the tension coiled around your spine. Carefully, you extricate yourself from Jack's grasp, his arm flopping to the couch cushion with a soft thud. You stand up, your legs wobbly from lack of use. The room seems to tilt, but you manage to stay upright.

Jack stirs, mumbling something incoherent. You look down at him, his face relaxed in sleep, the shadows playing across his features. The TV has switched to the news, the volume of which is a low murmur that seems too loud in the quiet room. You grab the remote and turn it off, the sudden silence feeling like a vacuum.

You tiptoe into the kitchen, the cold tiles biting at your socks. You pour yourself a glass of water, downing it in one go. Your throat feels like sandpaper, and your stomach turns at the thought of food. You glance at the clock on the microwave—4:30 AM. The night has stretched on longer than you ever intended, but somehow, you don't mind.

You lean against the kitchen counter, staring into the dark abyss of the sink. The quiet is deafening, the kind of quiet that makes you question every little sound. You hear Jack shift on the couch, and for a moment, you consider going back, sliding back into the warm cocoon of his arms. But you know you can't. The sun is rising, and with it, reality.

The fridge hums in the corner, a soft, steady reminder of the world outside. You grab the bottle of aspirin from the shelf above the microwave and shake two into your palm. The tap water is cold, a jolt to your senses as you swallow them down. You fill the glass again, the water's coolness a balm to your dry throat.

Jack's mumbling turns into a soft snore, the kind that makes you want to laugh but you refrain, not wanting to disturb him. You know he'll need the sleep. You take one last look at him, his disheveled form sprawled out on the couch, and for a brief moment, you consider curling up beside him. But you know it's time to go.

With quiet steps, you make your way to the door, sliding into your shoes. You pull on your jacket, the cold fabric jolting you back to reality. You're about to slip out when a sudden thought strikes you. You tiptoe back to the nightstand and scribble a note: "You're the best. Don't forget your practice. See you soon, - Your Designated Walking Service." You can't help but smirk as you place it next to the glass of water and painkillers.

As the door clicks shut behind you, the chilly morning air slaps you awake. The street is a ghost town, the only company the occasional flicker of a streetlight and the distant hum of early-morning traffic. You breathe in the crisp air, feeling a mix of exhilaration and dread. The night's events replay in your mind—the laughter, the quiet confessions, the unspoken moments.

You walk the familiar path home, each step echoing in the emptiness. The world feels eerie in its slumber, as if it's holding its breath, waiting for the sun to rise and shake it from its daze. Your thoughts swirl like leaves in a storm, torn between the comfort of Jack's embrace and the cold reality of what it might mean. You've been friends for so long, but now, the lines feel blurred. The air is thick with potential, a silent question hanging between you like the promise of rain on a humid day.

The buildings loom above, their shadows stretching long and dark, swallowing up the sidewalks. The streetlights cast a yellow glow, creating pockets of light in the sea of darkness. Each step takes you further from the warmth of Jack's apartment, but closer to the truth you've been avoiding.

You've always been the reliable one, the friend who's there to pick up the pieces when Jack's life shatters. But tonight was different. The intimacy, the way your bodies fit together on the couch, it felt like a puzzle piece slipping into place. The air was charged, a dance of unspoken words and lingering looks. You can't shake the feeling that something has shifted, that the friendship you've nurtured for so long has taken on a new dimension.

The walk home is a blur of streetlights and shadows, your mind racing with what-ifs and maybes. What if you had leaned in? Would it have changed everything? Would it have ruined the friendship you cherish so much? Or would it have been the start of something beautiful?

As the first hints of dawn kiss the horizon, painting the sky a soft pink, you find yourself standing in front of your own apartment building. The night has been a whirlwind of emotions, leaving you feeling both elated and exhausted. You fumble with your keys, the chill of the early morning seeping into your bones.

Once inside, the warmth of your apartment wraps around you like a warm blanket, a stark contrast to the cold outside. You sigh, kicking off your shoes, and make your way to the bathroom to wash the grime of the night off your face. The water is cold, but it's a necessary shock, waking you up entirely. You stare at your reflection in the mirror, the events of the night playing out behind your eyes like a silent film.

You brush your teeth, the minty taste a reminder of the night's decisions. You know you can't ignore what happened, the way Jack looked at you, the way his hand felt in yours. You tell yourself it was just the alcohol, the weariness of a long night, but deep down, you know it's more.

You stumble into your bedroom, the darkness a welcome embrace. You collapse onto your bed, the sheets cold against your skin, but it's not the cold that makes you shiver. It's the thought of Jack's arms, the warmth of his embrace. You burrow into your pillow, trying to recreate the feeling of his chest against yours.

The sun's first light filters through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. You're torn between the comfort of the bed and the need to face the day. But you know you can't stay here forever, lost in a world of what-ifs and maybes.

Jack. His name is a whisper in the back of your mind, a gentle nudge that keeps you from falling too deeply into the comforting oblivion of sleep. You roll over, the bed feeling eerily empty without his warmth beside you. You can't help but replay the moments from the night before—his hand in yours, the gentle brush of his thumb against your skin.

The sun has fully risen now, casting a warm glow across your apartment. The quiet hum of the city has replaced the silence of the early morning, and you know that soon, the day will demand your attention. But for now, you're stuck in the limbo between dreams and reality, your thoughts a tangled web of doubt and hope.

You finally force yourself out of bed, the cold floor a jolting reminder of the decisions you need to make. You throw open the curtains, letting the light flood the room, chasing away the shadows of the night. Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, and you see a text from Jack, a simple "Thank you for everything" with a heart emoji. Your stomach does a little flip, the warmth of his words bringing a smile to your face.

You decide to start the day with a run, hoping to clear your head. The cool air is a slap in the face, but it's exactly what you need. You lace up your shoes and hit the pavement, the rhythm of your feet a steady beat that helps organize your thoughts. You think about the comfort of Jack's arms, the way his hand felt in yours, the unspoken understanding that existed between you both. It's a feeling you can't shake, and as you run, it only grows stronger.

The city wakes up around you, the early morning joggers and dog-walkers giving you nods of silent camaraderie. The buildings look different in the light of day, the shadows of the night retreating before the sun's advancing rays. You follow your usual route, but your mind is miles away, lost in the labyrinth of emotions you've been navigating.

As you round the corner to the park, you see a figure in the distance, a lone soul sitting on a bench. It's Jack, his head in his hands, his athletic form hunched over. Even from afar, you can see the weight of his thoughts pressing down on him. You slow your pace, not quite ready to face the conversation that's inevitable.

Jack looks up, squinting in the sunlight. His eyes widen when he sees you, and he waves, his smile slightly wobbly. You jog over, feeling your heart race faster than your legs. "Hey," he says, his voice rough from sleep. "Couldn't sleep?"

You sit down next to him, breathing heavily. "Yeah, I thought a run would help." You look at him, his disheveled hair and tired eyes a stark contrast to the vibrant colors of the dawn. "What are you doing here?"

Jack shrugs, his smile growing slightly more genuine. "Couldn't sleep either. Thought some fresh air might do me good." He glances at you, his gaze lingering a beat too long. "I wanted to thank you again, you know, for last night. I don't know what I'd do without you."

The bench is cold against your back, the metal biting through your sweaty shirt. You look away, focusing on the horizon, the sun peeking over the buildings like a shy child. "You're welcome," you say, your voice softer than you intended.

Jack turns to you, the early morning light playing with the shadows on his face. "I mean it," he says, his voice earnest. "You're always there, no matter what."

You swallow hard, your pulse echoing in your ears. "Jack, last night was…" You trail off, searching for the right words. But there are none, no simple phrases that can encapsulate the tumult of feelings swirling inside you.

Jack's eyes are on you, hazel irises reflecting the burgeoning daylight. "It was intense," he finishes for you. His hand reaches over, brushing against yours, and the electricity that arcs between you feels more real than the concrete beneath you. "I don't know what happened, but I don't regret it."

You look at him, the world around you fading into a blur of color. "Neither do I," you admit, your voice barely a whisper. The sun's warmth seems to envelop the two of you, a silent third party to your conversation. The air between you feels charged, a storm brewing on the horizon of your friendship.

Jack sighs, his gaze never leaving yours. "I've been thinking," he starts, his voice tentative. "Maybe we should talk about it."

You nod, the gravity of his words sinking in. "Talk about what?" you ask, though you know exactly what he means.

Jack runs a hand through his hair, his eyes searching yours. "Everything." He pauses, then takes a deep breath. "I've had feelings for you for a while now. I didn't want to say anything, didn't want to mess things up. But last night… it was like all my walls came down."

Your heart skips a beat. Feelings? For you? You've never considered the possibility, always seeing Jack as the untouchable star, the charismatic tennis star, your best friend. But here he is, laying it all out, his vulnerability laid bare in the soft light of dawn.

"What are you saying, Jack?" you ask, the world around you seeming to hold its breath, waiting for his answer. The early morning air feels thick with anticipation, the chirping of birds the only sound piercing the silence.

Jack turns to you, his expression a tumult of emotions—fear, hope, and a raw vulnerability you've never seen before. "I'm saying," he starts, his voice low and earnest, "I love you."

The words hang in the air, heavy and potent. The world seems to tilt on its axis, and for a moment, everything is still. The distant sounds of the city, the rustling of leaves in the breeze—it's all background noise to the hammering of your heart. You blink, not quite sure you heard him right.

"Damn, that's crazy," you murmur, the words slipping out before you can think. You're not sure what to feel, a tornado of emotions swirling inside you. "Jack, I—"

Jack cuts you off with a shake of his head. "Just… let me get this out." He takes another deep breath, his hand reaching for yours again. "I've been trying to figure out how to say this for so long. I just… I need you to know."

You look down at your intertwined fingers, the warmth of his hand sending waves through your body. Love? From Jack? The revelation sends your mind reeling through a kaleidoscope of moments: the way his eyes light up when he wins a match, the gentle way he teases you, the countless nights spent sharing stories and laughs. Was this always there, hiding beneath the surface?

"Jack," you begin, the words thick in your throat. "I—"

He squeezes your hand, his eyes pleading with you to let him finish. You nod, biting your bottom lip, your heart a caged bird fluttering against your ribcage.

Jack continues, his words spilling out like water from a broken dam. "I know it's weird, and it's probably not what you want to hear, but I can't keep it in anymore. You're more than just a friend to me. You're… you're home. And I know that might not be what you feel, but I had to tell you. I can't go on pretending everything's the same."

You cut him off by leaning in and pressing your lips to his. The kiss is soft, tentative at first, but it quickly deepens, the heat of it burning away the chill of the morning. Jack's eyes widen in surprise before closing, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer. The bench is hard and cold, but all you feel is the warmth of his body, the beat of his heart matching your own.

The world around you fades away as you explore each other's mouths, the kiss a silent conversation of unspoken truths and hidden desires. The sun rises higher, casting a warm glow over the city, a perfect backdrop to this moment of revelation. It's as if the universe itself has paused to witness your confession.

Jack's arms tighten around you, his grip firm but gentle. The kiss lingers, a promise of more, a declaration of what could be. Your hearts hammer in unison, the sound echoing through the quiet morning like a secret only you two share. When you finally pull away, you're both breathless, eyes wide with wonder and fear.

"I… I didn't know," you murmur, your voice shaky. "Jack, I had no idea."

Jack's eyes search yours, the dawn light playing across his face, highlighting the worry etched into his features. "It's okay," he whispers. "I didn't either, not really. Not until…"

You nod, understanding in your gaze. "Not until last night."

Jack's smile is tentative. "Yeah, not until last night."

The air between you is charged, a live wire that crackles with potential. You're both poised on the edge of a cliff, unsure of what lies ahead. But for now, you're content to simply bask in the glow of this newfound understanding.

You lean back against the bench, Jack's arm slung over your shoulder, your legs intertwined. You watch the city wake up, the people below you oblivious to the monumental shift in your lives. The sun's rays grow stronger, casting a golden light on everything they touch. It's like the world has been painted anew, and you're seeing it all with fresh eyes.

Jack's hand rests on your thigh, the warmth of his touch sending shivers down your spine. You've sat on this bench a hundred times before, but it's never felt like this. It's like the air itself has changed, thick with the promise of something more.

You both sit in silence for a few moments, the weight of what's been said hanging between you like a delicate web. The world around you seems to be in slow motion, each moment stretching out like taffy pulled between two eager hands.

Jack breaks the silence, his voice a soft rumble. "So, where do we go from here?"

You look at him, his eyes searching yours, a tapestry of hope and doubt. "I don't know," you admit. "But I'm willing to figure it out."

Jack's smile is a warm embrace, melting the last remnants of the chilly morning. "Me too," he says, his voice filled with relief. "We've faced everything together. This is just… another chapter."

The park comes to life around you as the city wakes up. The scent of dew-kissed grass and blooming flowers fills the air, mingling with the faint aroma of coffee from nearby cafes. The sound of children's laughter drifts over from a distant playground, a sweet symphony that seems to underscore the delicate balance of your newfound relationship.

You both sit in contemplative silence, the unspoken words hanging in the air as thick as the morning mist. Your hearts are racing, but you're both acutely aware of the tenderness of this moment, the fragility of this new bond. The sun climbs higher in the sky, painting the clouds with streaks of pink and orange, a canvas of beauty that mirrors the emotions swirling within you.

Jack's thumb traces small circles on your skin, a gentle reassurance that he's there, that he's real. The warmth of his hand grounds you, reminding you of the tangible reality of your feelings. You lean your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. It's a comforting sound, a reminder of the shared experiences that have brought you to this precipice.

You both know that the dynamics of your friendship have shifted, evolving into something more complex, more profound. It's both terrifying and exhilarating. You've been the rock for each other, the constant in a world of chaos. But now, there's a chance for something new, something that could either fortify or fracture the bond you've built over the years.

You sit there, the early morning air still carrying a hint of chill, wrapped in a shared warmth that's more than just physical. It's the warmth of understanding, of a secret shared, of a door that's been unlocked. You're no longer just friends; you're confidants, potential lovers, explorers charting unmapped territories of the heart.

[fivekrystalpetals]

Not having your live reading of Pandora Hearts will be sad ! I loved seing your analysis, I'm happy you enjoyed it :3

Awwww thank you so much ❤!! yes it’s gonna be so sad for me too to not have my weekly live screaming sessions,, nooo this masterpiece of a story got over ;_; as they say, every good thing has to come to an end (nooooo~) so we gotta enjoy it till it lasts ;_; [I want to reread it again, but not anytime now... I need time to recover, sadly it seems I am getting increasingly upset and frustrated seeing A Certain Someone’s logic and arguments so I need some time to get over it and read again with a clearer mind; lol I generally don't get this upset over a fictional character but this guy’s character resonate a lot with someone ik ig that’s why I associate one with the other in my mind idk]

Break continues to be my favorite character which is honestly a surprise bc I tend to change my favorite midway through the series (I am not faithful shhh); Lottie and Lacie come a close second (well-written female characters tho they had not enough screen time (at least not for me, I wanted to see more of them!), they have lots of gaps and flaws I can develop on in my mind and in my fics if I ever post anything) 

The two Alices, Oz and Gil: they are my babies now I adopted them, already signed adoption papers and all 💪 (once again, a surprise bc I hardly ever care about the main characters but these four are just... made-to-be-loved how dare anyone hurt them?!?!? *looking at a Certain Someone 🔪🔪* I just wish we saw more of Alyss and her thoughts, likes, dislikes etc. before the end. Since Cheshire loved her but was dead scared of our Alice, Alyss must have craved for meat less lol) 

Fun fact: my favorite arc in Pandora Hearts still remains *drumroll* Headhunter Arc my beloved <3 

not only was it mochijun’s super self-indulgent glamorous-makeover-for-all-my-characters arc but also has some of the best cliffhangers, plot twists and lore—humpty-dumpty (this chain damn!), Fianna’s house and their eerie ritual of making contractors out of little homeless kids, the doings of Isla Yura, his cult of Jack worshippers and the Nightrays (except Elliot ofc) all gave me chills and thrills, kept me to the edge of the seat,, say, if you see, I have less live drafts for that arc, it’s because... I was so invested in the story I couldn't even bother to pause and log on to tumblr; I just had to get to the end. It was like a standalone, little whodunit+thriller story arc with Eliot as the detective/protagonist set out to investigate his family’s curse ;_; and then the final reveal of the actual criminal (Retrace 61) 😭 (something I had guessed at in the beginning from Lottie’s words but the rat is just that good at distracting us from the truth =_=)

The rest of the story is, well, do I need to explain aghfhshfg why is this story so compact and coherent and filled with so much foreshadowing right from the first panel of the Retrace 1 that it still gives me goosebumps (I was actually talking about Retrace 76/77 with my friend (no, not specifying names or giving out spoilers, she hasn’t read PH yet and I am slowly luring her in with a carrot into this rabbit hole)—kinda like: See? I think I have uncovered a huge conspiracy theory— you know the suspected immortals in our world? I think they never die but go full Benjamin Button mode back and forth! She is super interested to know more and I am waiting to cast The Question: *conspiratorial tone* Do you wanna read something with a plot like that?)

ahhhh lol I was rambling but thank you so much for sticking around with me til the end, reading my analysis and posts (most of them were my incoherent screams fgsghghsj) and for this ask! It was so sweet of you <3 <3 And although I ran out of my live drafts, I do plan on writing a lot on the other characters too (in fact, I have three posts—character analysis of sorts—about Oswald, Gil, Vince and the Baskervilles in general—in my drafts and then, a few others in plans.) I will also be screaming (and probs writing fics bc what else to do when a ship takes its roots inside your head) about my favorite ship ahem ahem, which no one but me likes 😭😭, so that too.

So no worries, PH brainrot is going strong! my reactions on tumblr is actually minimal,, only about 10% of how much of a nuisance I was with people here irl at Certain Points in the story lmaohgjsgj

[starglow-xx]

owning a bakery and being discovered by the ada & port mafia (part 1)

platonic! edogawa ranpo x f! reader

type of writing: head canons !!

this is part of my head canon series, flour & fluff !!

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

series synopsis: owning a bakery at 20 is tough; even more so when you have to handle members of two opposing organizations! this is your journey to meeting these fools and creating an unlikely bond with each of them! but only at the cost of your peace and sanity. 

fandom: bungou stray dogs

content: fluff & platonic stuff

author’s notes: this will be a multiple part series of head canons and this is only part one! this series will include both the agency and port mafia members, and then something special for the end. maybe i’ll even write a real one shot/scenario for it. if there’s enough interest, i might open up a tag list for this! i hope you all enjoy!! <33

also, ranpo is 25 in this part; kenji, atushi, kyouka, and the tanizaki siblings aren’t part of the agency yet, only yosano, kunikida, and dazai are, but in the next couple parts, it will be established that the tanizakis are

and (n/n) means nickname :)

meeting the greatest detective

your bakery, Sakura’s, which you named after your late grandmother (who was also your guardian), went into business when you were 18 right after graduating high school

who needed a culinary course when you were trained by dear ol grandma?

your grandmother died when you were 16, just as you started your second year of high school

you were devastated of course, but you knew she wouldn’t want you to wallow over it too long

so in those last two hard years of high school, you took part time jobs at other bakeries and saved lots and lots of money

by graduation, using your life savings, the money your grandmother had left for you, and all the money you earned working, you were able to buy the small building—with a reasonable amount of money left over to survive— you and your grandmother had been eyeing back in her hometown, yokohama, to start your bakery

the building was a bit run down, but you were planning to give it a makeover anyways

it was a bit smaller compared to other buildings around, only having two stories, but on the plus side, the second floor had taller ceilings and was an apartment

is that realistic? probably not but bare with me here 

aNYWHO

you finished putting your bakery up in about 4 months, then finished up your apartment 2 more after

you opened Sakura’s at 7 in the morning then closed at 8 in the evening

when you first started, you did quite well!!

especially with those who went to work on early mornings and families

the time when you first opened was the most peaceful, but you admitted that it was a bit boring, and you wished for a bit more excitement

and boy, the day edogawa ranpo stepped into your bakery was the catalyst for the chaos and excitement that was soon to come

not that you knew that

if you did you would’ve never let him in

maybe

you were 19 when ranpo discovered Sakura’s, and it was completely accidental

he finished solving a case and was on the way back to the agency, and he—not surprisingly—got lost and then it started to rain really hard

it was pouring; there was even the cliche thunder strike and everything

you saw the brown clad man across the street and you ran out with two umbrellas (almost getting hit by a car mind you) handed one to him and practically dragged him inside

with the heavy rain on the forecast, Sakura’s was empty, so you gently pushed him down on a chair and you rushed away to find towels

even though the two of you had umbrellas, the two of you were still soaked 

finding said towels, you quickly dried yourself the best you could then you draped your towel over your back and rushed over to give him his as well as a warm pastry and your special hot honey lemon tea

ranpo laughed as you placed down the refreshment and snack, thinking that you knew who he was and was giving him special treatment

poor bby blinked and went :0 when you said you didn’t

“you don’t know who i am?”

“no. am i supposed to?”

“...”

the 25 year old blanked and you worried that you broke him and started to apologize profusely 

he cut you off claiming that he got over it he didnt but seeing as the bakery was empty and it was pouring pretty badly, he demanded you give him all your attention sit with him so he could tell you all about himself and what he’s done

the two of you got along quite well

you were amazed with all the stories he’s told you 

you honestly acted like a cute little kid listening to fairytales

he told you that and in response you threw a napkin at him

“wow ranpo-san! that’s amazing!!”

“you look like a little kid”

cue the napkin

he was happy with all the attention, praise, and sweets you gave him

the agency gave him praise sure, and made sure he had a lot of snacks but it was refreshing to have someone give him this much and your treats were the best he’s ever had

after he told you all his most interesting cases, the two of you just rambled about the most randomest things; going from the best desserts and snacks to the stupidest things his coworkers have done

you guys were on that last topic for a while

you two talked and rambled for hours, and when it hit hour two and the rain was still pouring, you just went ahead and slipped the “we’re open” sign to “closed” even though it was only 2 o’clock

you thought that this was probably the loving goofy older brother relationship that you missed out on

“ranpo-san, you’re kind of like the brother i’ve never had”

“and you’re still like that little kid”

cue another napkin to the face

don’t worry, he already adores you <3 

he just likes to make fun of you </3

*cuts you off as you’re talking to squish your cheeks* “(y/n) you still have a lot of baby fat and you’re pretty short...are you sure you’re still not in high school or smth??”

*incoherent talking due to pressure on cheeks* “ranpo-san you have 3 seconds before i kick you out”

at around 6, the rain came to a stop and by then, the both of you were all dried up

before he left, you gave him a map so that he hopefully wouldn’t get lost again and gave him a couple boxes of treats for him to have and to share with his coworkers

you closed early so you had to give away at least some of the remaining treats somehow

he wanted you to go to agency with him so he didn’t have to carry everything but you declined saying that you didn’t want to bc you wanted to rest

and for payback for calling you a little kid

you were 19 goddamnit

you already placed everything neatly into two bags so it was easy to carry but this bitch still had the audacity to pout and whine at you

and he calls you the little kid, jeez

you never told him but, you almost gave in

you never told him. but he probably already knows

ranpo san knows all after all; even you knew that by now

the two of you had also exchanged phone numbers and when the two of you showed each other what you each put for a contact name along with the note below, the two of you broke out into grins

you named him “the greatest detective <33″ & put the note “new nii-san <33 & bully </3″ and he named you “cute bakery girl” with the note “best follower, sweets supply & annoying little kid”

when he left, you properly closed the bakery and taped a sign to the door saying that you closed early for personal reasons

when everything was cleaned up, you marched up into your bedroom, plopped on your bed, and took a nap

you deserved it

at the agency not too long after that, ranpo had arrived and when he opened the door, everyone rushed towards him in concern asking if he was okay

he waved them off and walked towards his desk and plopped down in his seat

he placed the two bags in front of him and took out a box of cream puffs and started to snack on them

his coworkers watched him blankly as his scarfed down one after another

after finishing that box, he rummaged through the bags to look through the different kinds of pastries you’ve given him 

noticing that there were people still staring at him he paused before sighing in exasperation

he began to whine at his coworkers saying that no one told him it was gonna rain and that they were lucky that he happened to be in front of Sakura’s

“why did no one tell me?! it was pouring and i was soaked! you guys are lucky that (n/n)-chan’s bakery was right there! you would’ve probably lost me! how would the agency even function without me here?!”

no one wanted to be the one to tell him that they had no idea who he was talking about and that they did in fact tell him that it was gonna pour

they can save that, and their questions for another time

next >>

tag list is open !! go to this google form and fill it out to sign up!

[muwur]

idk if this counts as an emergency or comfort request but ive been havin a REAL bad body image week nsnnnsnnnsnn could i maybe request headcanons for either oikawa or kuroo (u can pick if u wanna) with an s/o who is rlly self conscious about being chubby/has a really hard time with food and mayb feels like worthless because theyre not the ideal body type? idk sorry if thats dumb aaaah thank u sm if u choose to do this

self-love

♡ scenarios ♡ for oikawa and kuroo

❧ gn reader

✎ 3.7k words

a/n: hey hun, im sorry to hear you’ve been having a rough time lately. this kind of request actually rlly hits close to home, and if u ever need anything, ur mor than welcome to reach out to me :) i can also help look for resources for help, anything really. this goes for all y’all! i dont want none y’all to feel alone with anything ur going thru cuz we’re in this together! and no need to thank me, the pleasure is mine luv 🥰💕 nothing about this is dumb, ur feelings are valid. i hope this will bring you n many others some comfort. also,, FUCK BODY STANDARDS MAKIN US BELIEVE THERE’S AN IDEAL TYPE BC THERE IS NONE N Y’ALL R BEAUTIFUL N IF U DUN THINK SO I WILL COME OVER DER,,, ok im done 🥰🥰 (more notes at the bottom of this, i talk a lot n think its important, didnt wanna add it up here bc it was too long lolol) tw: mentions of bad body and implies disordered eating behaviors

 oikawa

♡ Oikawa was pretty keen, so when he observed a gradual shift in your behavior, he definitely took notice

♡ One day when you showed up to lunchtime empty-handed and sat with your two friends, casually chatting, Oikawa and Iwaizumi gave you a questioning look

♡ “Where’s your lunch, y/n?” Oikawa asked

♡ “Oh, I, uh, ate it already, actually.”

♡ Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow and offered you some of his, but you declined, thanking him and stating you were already full

♡ Later that day in class, however, Oikawa couldn’t help but notice the absence of your boxed lunch container in your unzipped backpack

♡ The next day, you came empty-handed again, blaming it on your forgetfulness during your rush to get to school

♡ However, it became a normal occurrence over time, and while you seemed fine, uneasiness began to prick inside Oikawa’s stomach

♡ Those smiles you wore appeared fragile, and the laughter that rumbled from your throat felt restrained

♡ You seemed more tired and unfocused than usual

♡ Preoccupied, withdrawn, and distant

♡ He could sense something was bothering you, no matter how much you may (or may not) have tried to hide it

♡ On his way to school one morning, he made sure to stop by a convenience store to pick one of your favorite snacks, thinking it was a simple gesture to brighten up the somber aura he’s been detecting from you

♡ “I have a surprise for you, y/n~” Oikawa announced with excitement, rummaging through his bag to pull out the snack and show it to you. “Look, it’s your favorite!”

♡ You could only offer him an uneasy smile, “Oh, you shouldn’t have...” You really shouldn’t have...

♡ When he noticed the tension in your body and expression, a frown appeared on his lips

♡ “Y/n? Is something wrong?” He reached out to place a comforting hand on your shoulder but you swiftly flinched away

♡ ”I’m fine..!”

♡ Surprised at your sudden movement and outburst, you both felt a split second of apprehension crackle in the air before you started to gather your items in a rush

♡ Sighing, you repeated, “I’m fine.”

♡ He wasn’t sure whether you were speaking to him or yourself

♡ “Thanks for the snack, but I’ll pass. Have it for me. You need it more, anyways; you have volleyball practice. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa,” you offered him a solemn smile and left before he could even reply

♡ Some time had passed before he could finally get you to open up to him

♡ And when you did, it crushed his heart to see how much your insecurities broke you

♡ It hurt to hear how low you thought about yourself; how you couldn’t see the beauty in your being; how you deemed food, your body, and yourself as your worst enemies

♡ Thus bringing you to the conclusion that maybe you’d be happy and like yourself if you could just give up that midday snack or your school lunch

♡ Even raincheck a cafe date you were supposed to have together

♡ Maybe also skip dinner, sometimes breakfast the next morning as well

♡ You could manage on just water

♡ Little sacrifices to shed some weight, feel better, and get closer to your ideal body goals

♡ You admitted, however, to questioning whether any of it was worth it

♡ The constant states of hunger, pain, and defeat you lived in

♡ Only to feel as though you were getting nowhere

♡ Oikawa was well aware of today’s beauty standards. I mean, he himself was often praised for his natural charm and beauty

♡ And you felt you could never reach that ideal

♡ “Oikawa, you’re too good for me.”

♡ His eyebrows knitted in concern as he lifted his right hand to caress your cheek softly. “And why do you say that?”

♡ Tears threatened to prick at your eyes. All you could was stare at the ground in silent shame

♡ When you still said nothing, he leaned in closer, his brown gaze softly pleading

♡ “Y/n, look at me.”

♡ When your eyes flickered up to meet his own, Oikawa asked, “You know I love you, right?”

♡ His question was met with a meek, “Yes.”

♡ From your clouded glaze, he could tell that you had a hard time believing in your own response

♡  “Do you know why?”

♡ But before you could respond, he was already answering his own question

♡ “Well...” he began, glancing up in thought and wearing a small smile

♡ “Something about you makes me want to be by your side. I love to see your smiles and hear your laughter, but I always want to be there to hold you when you’re crying and in pain.”

♡ “You’re supportive. You understand what I need, and I don’t always have to explain myself to you. You take your time with me and make me feel like I can be myself. Not many people have stuck around to actually get to know me. Because of that, you’ve never failed to make my day a little better with just your presence.”

♡ “You’re strong and caring. I can rely on you to have my back, and I hope I provide that same comfort to you as well.”

♡ “I love being able to lazy around with you or go on adventures and discover something new. It’s comfortable and exciting at the same time.”

♡ “Your hands feel like they were made to hold mine.”

♡ He reached down to squeeze your hand gently

♡ “Kissing you makes me forget about everything else on my mind. I can just live in the present with you.”

♡ He moved close and gave you a peck above your eyebrow

♡ “You make me want to work hard and be a better person. You help motivate me to try my best, and you never give up on me. Why would I ever give up on you?”

♡  “I learn something new with you everyday. Like right now, I realize that I’ve never met someone who could so easily make my heart race as they could make my heart break.”

♡ “When I look at you, all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how lucky I am to have you in my life as a partner and one of my best friends. Nobody else could fill the gaps within me the same way you do.”

♡ Leaning over to brush his lips against your forehead, he muttered, “I’m going to love every part of you, inside and out. You’re already my ideal. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I could go on about every detail on why I feel so strongly for you, but I’m here to show you everything there is to appreciate about yourself because you’re worth every ounce of care and effort. And if you can’t see it in yourself right now, I’ll love you more than enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself. I’m here to help.”

♡ And after crying out your tears into his shoulder as he held you close and rubbed your back, you both went to his house to relax and have some dinner

♡ He was patient with you, taking into account how having a meal may have made you feel anxious

♡ It was something small and simple that you two agreed to prepare and share, after some tender coaxing from Oikawa

♡ He later made a list in his journal about tips to keep in mind:

♡ ‘Check up on y/n often to see how they’re feeling’

♡ ‘Encourage them to eat meals/snacks. Don’t be too pushy, but be patient. Try to have eat with them when you can!’

♡ ‘Remind them they don’t have to earn the right to eat, and that their body doesn’t define their worth‘

♡ ‘Look into some mindfulness techniques!’

♡ ‘Don’t overvalue physical appearance. Also focus on all the other redeeming qualities y/n has! But of course I’m always gonna tell them they look cutee--’

♡ True to his word, he remained understanding

♡ He’s there to listen to you, or to sit with you in comforting silence

♡ During lunch he would share his food with you, reassuring you that it wasn’t something you had to avoid

♡ Some days he succeeds in encouraging you to share a milk bun or your favorite snack with him

♡ And on days you really didn’t feel like it, he never forces anything onto you and instead made sure you at least hydrated

♡ Oikawa spends some time doing research and gathering tips on how to help you

♡ Always reminds you of your worth and how you bring out the best in him

♡ He’ll never hold it against you if you ever become hostile, irritated, or in denial. He knows you’re hurting and doesn’t take it personally

♡ Sends you cute memes with all those emoji hearts

♡ Also some food puns (Oikawa: “I’m soy into you. Please brie mine. We are mint to be. I ap-peach-iate you. You got a pizza my heart. Olive you--” ; You: *puts a hand over his mouth* ; Oikawa: 🥺 ; You: “...olive you, too”)

♡ Always ready to give up what he’s doing to make sure you’re okay

♡ Will stay up with you late at night to talk on the phone

♡ Reminds you you’re beautiful at least 8 times a day

♡ If y’all ever go shopping and you try things on in the fitting room,, Oikawa would be your #1 hype man

♡ One time you tried something on, and you were almost too ashamed to step out and show him

♡ But when you did, you were met with his surprise and excitement

♡ “dfghjklkuyfuh” was all you could process from his incoherent speech before he insisted on treating you by purchasing it for you (Oikawa: “Can you wear this for me, like, everyday?” ; You: *weird look* “Why are you like this??” you love it tho--)

♡ Gushes internally over how cute you are during your movie + cuddle sessions, mostly pays attention to you rather than the movie

♡ Mid-movie be like:

♡ Oikawa: “So, uh, what’s happening again?

♡ You: -.- “You might as well google the whole synopsis instead of watching it”

♡ Oikawa: “...it’s not my fault you’re distracting, babe”

♡ Always politely excuses himself from his fangirls to get to you. Also reassures you he much prefers to be with you than anyone else and that you’re the best catch ;)) (You: “Oikawa, no” ; Oikawa: “y/n, yes”)

♡ Suggested doing some meditation together once

♡ You listened to a recording and you sat side by side on a mat, but Oikawa thought the person’s voice sounded funny so he had a hard time focusing

♡ But it ended with y’all laughing and making jokes as he lay his lead on your lap and you played with his hair

♡ Y’all get better at it tho

♡ Cooking dates! To try to show you that food isn’t an enemy and can bring people together :)

♡ Puts music on so y’all can jam together (Oikawa: “Oh my gosh, y/n, this is my favorite song, you’re not even rEADY to see me perform-- ; You: “Oikawa, t-the food! It’s burning!!”)

♡ Cooking dates also show that you should never leave the stove unattended

♡ Every once in a while he suggests seeking professional help. He wishes he could take away your pain and help you all his own, but he knows this is more complicated and required outside help, too

♡ Has help resources READY

♡ As well as small snacks like granola bars for you if you ever feel faint

♡ He doesn’t hesitate to confront you when he feels it’s necessary and he’s worried about your habits

♡ He handles things well, though, and often convinces you to take care of yourself more, even though he’s there to look after you

♡ Has made it his mission to help you win against your battle with insecurities

♡ Overall, he’s very caring and empathetic, hoping one day you’ll see yourself the way he sees you 💖 : strong, amazing, breathtaking, & perfectly imperfect

kuroo

♡ Occasionally, you would think about the day you broke down in front of him

♡ Your body racked with repressed whimpers as you tried to wipe the tears from your eyes and describe the recent state of your mind through choked sobs

♡ Lately, your thoughts were being especially relentless in making you feel miserable

♡ Oftentimes you’d be able to shove the negative thoughts to the back of your mind and carry on your day as usual, expertly acting as though everything in your life was going smoothly

♡ However, you found yourself fighting a losing battle against your own conscious, heavily preoccupied with thoughts of your own worthlessness

♡ And so you tried to cope

♡ But you were painfully aware of everything you felt was wrong with you

♡ You felt uncomfortable in your skin

♡ Every time you passed by your own reflection, you couldn’t help but mentally recoil at the image looking back at you

♡ Your clothes didn’t fit right

♡ Even when you opted for baggy clothes, you felt like you were taking up all the space in them

♡ Maybe it was the weight gain. You could see and feel it in your face, your arms, your stomach, your legs... everywhere

♡ You just wanted to hide away your shame

♡ Perhaps it was the dessert you allowed yourself to eat the other day. Foolish of you to think then that you wouldn’t regret it as much as you did afterwards

♡ As a consequence of those foolish actions, you made mental notes about anything and everything you ate. What it was, how much of it you had, etc

♡ Trying to restrict so that maybe you would lose some weight and come to like how you look

♡ Your obsessive thoughts of food and weight overtook your mind like a dark cloud

♡ Your favorite foods, which before would never fail to brighten your mood, taunted you with shame and guilt

♡ Exercise? Sometimes it was an activity you genuinely enjoyed. Other times, a chore that made you feel shitty or numb and reinforced your unhealthy desire to lose

♡ And you sometimes found yourself crying over your last meal, one you know you didn’t need. One you didn’t deserve

♡ And each time you released the reins on your self-control, you felt pathetic going against the vow you made to yourself  

♡ At this rate, you’d never be beautiful or be happy with yourself

-You’d remain unworthy, fat, disgusting--

-But before you could continue, your story was cut off by the impact of Kuroo’s embrace

-Your surprise silenced your sobs, and you could only stare wide-eyed at the space in front of you as you felt his arms squeeze tightly around your frame

-You both sat there for a few moments on your knees, with your back lightly leaning against a wall

- “I’m sorry for the pain you’re experiencing,” he begins softly. “Thank you for sharing with me. It must’ve taken a lot for you to do that.”

-He was right. It was your first time reaching out to another person about this. It was the last thing you thought you would’ve done today

- “I want to let you know that you shouldn’t be ashamed for feeling this way. Reaching out is important and brings you the help you need to get better. I know you might not want help right now or think that these thoughts and behaviors are a problem. However, telling me about all this shows that some part of you is recognizing there’s something wrong and you can’t always handle it on your own.”

-There were many reasons you kept this to yourself. You didn’t want to bother anyone else. Your problems seemed so trivial.  You worried saying them aloud would confirm your beliefs. You were scared people would see you differently. You--

-The intrusive thoughts never failed to make you feel ashamed

-However, it was oddly comforting to release the pent up emotions. To know you didn’t have to bottle up this burden anymore, and that you weren’t alone

-You were about to murmur in response when,

- “Also, you’re an idiot, y/n.”

- “Wow, thanks, as if I don’t already think that about myself,” you bit back in response

-You were about to shove him away just when he released his grip around your body and placed his hands on your shoulders

-His eyes shone with determination and a faint, inviting smile spread on his lips

- “You are the one of the single most important things in my life. I just mean you’re an idiot in the sense that you’re overevaluating one aspect to define your whole self. You’ve forgotten about all your other redeeming qualities that contribute to who you are.”

♡ “Your size, weight, shape; none of that matters. What matters is your health and happiness. Neglecting yourself in order to reach an ‘ideal’ that you’ve concluded is the answer to your self-worth is only bringing you farther away from what you truly want.”

♡ “I don’t mean to downplay any of your emotions or how significant this is to you. Your first step was to put your trust into someone else about this. That’s done. Now, I’m here to help you undergo self-evaluation and serve as encouragement on your journey to self-love and acceptance.”

♡ “I also want to remind you progress is not linear. There will be times when things are harder, and that’s okay; it’s part of the process. If you’re open to getting better in the future, I’m sure as hell going to be there every step of the way.”

♡ And with a soft peck to the forehead and another hug, he nuzzled into your neck and muttered, “I love you. And I want you to love yourself. So, please, allow me to help you through this and I guarantee that by the end of it all, it’ll have been so worth it.”

♡ Unsure what to say, you gripped his jacket tighter, buried your head in his shoulder, and muttered, “Thank you.”

♡ While the negative feelings about yourself remained afterward, you were relieved that your boyfriend was supportive and calm

♡ He treated you the same as always, teasing you over dumb things while making you feel like you stood among the highest peaks on Earth

♡ The day after, he had shown up to your house, weary-eyed and carrying his backpack

♡ “Kuroo? Why are you here? Also, why do you look so tired??”

♡ He stepped into your house with a yawn. He stretched his arms, then reached for his bag and whipped out his laptop

♡ “I stayed up a bit last night to do some research, babe! I also learned a lot about nutrition and molecular gastronomy, so I could help you come up with a meal plan that you’re okay with!”

♡ You were touched he was educating himself on how to help you

♡ But you drew the line at the science jokes-- (Kuroo: “You know you love them.” ; You: “‘Na’ I don’t.” ; Kuroo: :ooo “Did you just-- Marry me.”) (Na = sodium lol)

♡ His nutritional research helped you to learn the contents of food beyond calories; mans explains the vitamins, nutrients, amino acids, etc in them that you need and their benefits

♡ “Trout, avocados, and almonds have vitamin E, which is good for your skin! Oh, and don’t get me started on bananas. Yes, they have carbs (which your body needs anyway as a source of energy!), but POTASSIUM?? Shit’s gonna regulate your fluid balance, maintain heart health, stimulate normal muscle function, AND help your brain to communicate with the rest of your body!”

♡ ALSO cooking dates; just as chaotic (“Aw mannn, the egg exploded all over the microwave!” dont ask y it was being microwaved)

♡ Over time, he’s taken mental notes about your thoughts, feelings, triggers, etc

♡ He’s quick to pick up on your mood and will always ask you how you’re doing

♡ Tries to do something special for you on days you’re especially not feeling well, like taking you on a spontaneous date! (You: “Do you know how to ice skate?” ; Kuroo: “Uhh,,, after today, I will hopefully”)

♡ But will also opt for staying in with you and cuddling when you don’t want to go out (Kuroo: “I heard this movie is soooo bad! ...wanna watch it?”)

♡ Invited you to the beach with his team during the first week of summer

♡ You were unsure about this, since that meant going out in public, potentially with minimal clothing

♡ You initially sat on a beach towel under an umbrella, wearing the security of a T-shirt. He’d been aware of how you felt ever since he asked you to come, so he would sit with you and link an arm around your shoulder

♡ “I’m lucky I get to spend this day with you,” he’d say. “You look gorgeous. You always do. Now, I wanna see you smile and have fun. Let’s go take a dip, yeah?” He offered his hand, which you shyly took, and pulled you up

♡ Then immediately picked you up and started running to the water to get you soaking wet, and you were forced to ditch the heavy, waterlogged shirt

♡ However, you silently thanked him for his sweet words, making you feel secure enough to just forget your worries and enjoy the warm sun and cool water

♡ He also tries his best to lessen your anxieties over food and often shares/eats meals with you

♡ Reminds you everyday how much you’re worth to him and that there’s nothing about you that needs to change

♡ This sweet, protective, n smart boi will treat you how you deserve. It’s a guarantee he’ll be there through thick and thin, and he’s excited for the day you realize you’re just as amazing as he knows you are 💕

a/n: oop this was rlly long lol mb, i just may or may not personally know a bit about this so i went oFF

also neded to some som silly n fluff bc we all need dat

also, these r like kinda hc’s ?? but also a deconstructed oneshot/scenario?? bc they provide some rly brief bg story? one from more  of the character perspective while the other more on y/n before we get  to the hc’s about how he treats y/n. how everyone struggles w body image is different n i wanted to portray a bit of what it felt like and how it could manifest in ppl’s behaviors/thoughts. however, this is not to say that everyone feels exactly like this. what i wrote only represents a fraction of it all.

by providing some sort of bg i hope im not making u feel like this isnt u  or that u cant relate, pls lmk if i need to change anything to make it  right for u <3 ok now im actually done sry long author’s note  rfguhofe this is just rlly important to me y’all  , stay safe n take care, much luv for u <3

[paragonshep]

Happy N7 Day, friends and ememies, and welcome to an unplanned stream-of-consciousness thought experiment I like to call

The Bare Fucking Minimum

What is this, you ask? Well I am, once again, thinking about Jacob Taylor. Specifically, I’m thinking about the complete shitshow that was Jacob’s story arc. What were the themes, the overarching concepts? And were they deliberately trying to piss off everyone who romanced him? 

In honor of the announcement of a remaster that will almost certainly do nothing for him, I’m here to ask: if we assume that all the major story elements must remain the same, what’s the minimum that could be changed to bring all of his everything from a major shitshow to a minor shitshow?

Let me preface this by saying that 1) I am not a writer, and 2) I am not black. The scope of this post is fairly limited, and mostly relates to tidying up the themes and emotional arc while keeping the actual events largely unchanged. I’m fully aware that Jacob’s loyalty mission, for example, is absolutely steeped in racist tropes, and that a lot of people out there would prefer to just throw the whole thing out and start over. I get that, but that’s not something I’m equipped to do, so if that’s what you were looking for, this post probably isn’t the one for you.

This is also pretty much spun right off the top of my head. I didn’t draft this, I’m not really digging too deep. I’m just collecting and laying out some thoughts I had floating around in my head, so this is gonna get pretty disjointed. Feel free to throw out your own thoughts in the notes. I may or may not dive in and chat with y’all, since this is mostly just to get these thoughts out of my head and on a page. We’ll see once things get going.

Anyway let’s start at the top.

1. What’s it all about, when you get right down to it?

So, Jacob’s whole arc is a complete fucking mess and feels like they just threw a bunch of random shit at it to see what would stick, but ultimately I think it’s about masculinity and Jacob’s conception of what makes a man. I think the key to Jacob as a character is understanding what traits embody masculinity, and which people he thinks have missed the mark. There’s clearly things like strength and integrity, but follow-through, duty, and keeping promises seem to be major elements in his definition of masculinity. Put a pin in that, we’ll come back to that later. Unfortunately, it’s time to talk about...

2. The Loyalty Mission

Oh boy. Welp. Let’s get this over with, I guess.

So obviously this is racist and really shit and really Bioware should just throw the whole thing out, but again, that's not what we're going here. This is the part I've given the least thought to, so it will probably be short and not come to many conclusions. anyway let's grit our teeth and look for the theme that ties in into Jacob's greater narrative arc. Specifically, if Jacob's whole thing is "what makes a man", then we need to look at how exactly his father missed the mark.

Spoiler alert: it's duty.

Ultimately, his father was captain and it was his obligation to get the crew home, even if it was personally inconvenient. It was his duty as a father to try to get home himself for the sake of his family. It was about obligation, oaths and promises he broke. Can I get some uhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking themes. Dive into that shit more.

I’m too tired to get more into it bc I’m actually writing this section last, but it’s interesting to note that even afterwards Jacob’s feelings about his father are complicated. Like, he hates the guy and thinks he’s despicable, but he still feels a need to try to find that things he got even half right. He can’t bring himself to write off everything the man ever was. That feels like a rich vein they could have done something with, but they didn’t.

3. The Romance, ME2

This one is an absolute fucking mess.

So there are two threads running through the core of this romance arc: the kink/powerplay element and the time element, and a major problem of the romance is that it doesn’t really know which one it is.

So, I know a lot of people dislike the whole kink element just on principle, but I’m not here to do that. Not everyone is into soft vanilla stuff, and it’s a little irritating how much of the fandom (and the world) tries to paint kink as inherently evil or unhealthy. THAT SAID, the kink here is inefficient in terms of storytelling, it’s sloppy writing, and the whole time I played the romance I was thinking “What’s the point of this?”. The problem with that element, and the fact that the ME2 love scene focuses on it, is that it does not serve any overarching narrative, either in terms of romance progression or Jacob’s whole character. It feels slapped on. It’s just not good storytelling. (and while i’m generally for kink, I am also side eyeing Bioware for slapping this on ME’s first black character and only him. not offensive in and of itself, but feels like part of a greater racist picture)

I’m honestly shocked they didn’t lean harder into the whole theme of time, and specifically time running out, because it seems like the obvious choice. It’s built into the whole main plot of ME2, and it’s an element of multiple other romances. You’re all heading into a suicide mission, there’s a serious chance you’re all going to die, and you don’t have enough time. Like what the fuck! That would have been emotionally satisfying! 

Imagine if the final romance scene had featured Jacob coming to see Shepard and having this whole speech/rant about how he doesn’t like to rush into things, how he likes to take it slow and really get to know each other, but now there’s no more time and you both might die tomorrow, and he might regret this choice if you live but he knows he’ll regret not making it if you die!!!!!! That’s some real shit! it completes a narrative arc! It ties into shit we know about Jacob outside his romance!!! Why the fuck didn’t they go that route!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m still angry!!!!!

4. ME3

So Jacob’s role in this game is pretty minimal, so there’s not a lot to work with and not a lot to change. Good thing I can fix like 90% of its issues with one change:

It’s not his child Dr. Cole is carrying.

Like that alone you can use to fix a bunch of issues without changing the core themes of his character arc! It works in a romance and non romance playthrough! You can still do a fatherhood “doing better than my own father did” arc even if Jacob didn’t contribute the sperm, Bioware!!!!!

So here’s how I picture it: The stuff about meeting and getting to know Jacob can stay the same. The father of Dr. Cole’s child is someone we never meet who is generally out of the picture. Possibly one of the other scientists she was working with who were killed when their part of the project was complete. Her partner disappears, she goes to Jacob for help, and Jacob promises to help her and her coworkers get out and keep them safe. Remember that shit I said back under point one about keeping promises? Boom! Narrative arc complete. This would also serve as an excuse to keep Jacob from coming back the the Normandy, since he made a promise to Brynn and he’s going to see it through. This works even with a romanced Jacob, because he can love Shepard and also note that she’s not the person who needs him most right now! Is this a perfect solution that would please every player? By no means! But I bet a lot of us would be less absolutely livid about it!

In conclusion,

I realize actually implementing these changes would actually be a whole lot of work, and this is not, in fact, a simple quick fix. My point is mostly that this did not require changing any actual plot beats, just recontextualizing them, and that Bioware and the writer(s) responsible could have saved themselves a lot of angry players if they’d just picked a coherent theme for this character and stuck to it. There’s no excuse for Jacob’s writing being as incoherent and terrible as it is.

I could probably write a lot more about this, but since I’m basically illiterate this took me pretty much all day to write and I’m tired. Bioware Stop Being So Racist Challenge, and Happy N7 Day.

[alo-piss-trancy]

Okay so I originally wasn't going to post much about that Va/nyaxKl/aus AU I have (which I am lovingly dubbing Vaus) bc 1. It's incredibly vague and incoherent, more snapshots than an actual plotline and 2. I didn't want to spoil it before if I did write it. But I am very hyped and on my BS rn so screw it I wanna ramble

Some Brief Background:

So in this AU Va/nya does still become White Violin Hottie and is going to possibly eventually cause the apocalypse, except Kla/us ended up splitting from the group without going sober (likely after the kidnapping/torture/war incident bc he was fed up nobody even noticed he was gone for so long, but maybe earlier? I need to rewatch and sort out timelines) and hooked up with her before Le/onard got the chance to and led her down a road of drugs and saying Fuck Everything, screw the fam let's do our own thing, helps her discover and control her powers when they end up finding the book he threw out again through happenstance and realize OH SHIT DAD'S AN EVEN BIGGER DICK THAN I ALREADY THOUGHT. They become the Chaotic Neutral duo and are a serious threat. Also Kla/us is lowkey corrupted by Be/n's growing abilities into a very sexy and unpredictable eldritch horror (whether B/en is drawn to the dark side with them and finally embraces it or is still good but powerless to resist Kl/aus' control since he's only a ghost and is reduced to a reluctant tool of destruction is undecided).

I'm saying all of this to get to my main point, which is the thing that gets me most is the idea of them getting F/ive alone during some sort of showdown, he has trained for this for years and is completely ready to kill them both to save the world. Except he can't. He still can't help but see the loving girl who put out marshmallow sandwiches for years in the desperate hope he'd find his way home, the one who never deserved to go through all of this and turn into this. He sees the brother who's sort of a giant fuckup but he can't help but find him fun and a little comforting, the one who'd been one of the most supportive of his condition and snuck him margaritas, and the one who knows all about trauma and loss. He can't bring himself to kill them in the time it matters most and it terrifies him.

Neither of them really want to kill Fi/ve either, and they're secure enough in their power and knowing him well enough that they don't view him as a danger, so they capture him as a hostage and make use of his warping somehow to move to a base or a safe spot in the timelines. Whether they eventually manage to drag him to their side of the war or if it comes back to bite them remains to be seen, but I just... I'm weak for the whole pained enemies-but still-lovers poly mess it could be. The flickers of old selves and habits they see in each other, or the moments when they understand their new selves and why they act/think the way they do and maybe it isn't so bad, maybe the apocalypse wouldn't be so bad if we were all in it together so you wouldn't be alone this time, right F/ivey?

Give me the cold menace and old love intertwined, give me the internal crises of ideals for the world's good vs family/love

[spookysanta]

Clouded in Anger. (g.d.) 1 of 3

Summary: they’ve been fighting a lot lately and today, she’s decided that she wants things to go in a “different” direction. let’s see how that turns out.

Pairing: Grayson DolanxReader

WARNINGS: swearing, angry!Grayson, SMUT,

dom!grayson, other nasty shit i can’t remember.

so i’m gonna be completely honest—this is TRASH. i wrote this like three years ago and was like “why didn’t i put this on tumblr?” so this is me. putting it on tumblr. :/ enjoy i guess.

UNEDITED BC IT’S SO BAD IT’S FUNNY

**

"Good morning," I mumbled in his ear. He looked so good when he was sleeping.

He responded incoherent words and shifted his body as he continued to snore. His eyebrows furrowed and then his eyes open. He glanced above him and cleared his throat. "Uh, [Y/N].."

"Yes?" I replied innocently.

"I'm tied to the headboard."

"Are you?"

He grabbed the belt between his fingertips and yanked at the belt that held his wrists together above his head. "Yes, I am." He groaned.

"Oh well." I shrugged. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"No the hell you aren't," he scolded. "you're gonna untie me." His eyes narrowed and his voice was stern.

I glanced back at him as I continued to walk towards the bathroom door, towel and washcloth in hand. "No. I'm not."

And then I closed the door to begin my day.

~

When I told Grayson that there will be times in which my kinkyness gets the best of me and there may be days in which I take the form of a vampire on his skin, he thought I was kidding.

Wrong.

Yes, I've come to love the mere idea of him submitting to me. And I'm starting to think that he loves me dominating him.

Well, somehow, we dominate each other. Those are the nights I enjoy the most—loud screams, followed by quiet snores.

I smirked and exited the bathroom, hair wet and dripping onto my silk pajamas. I looked towards the bed and expected him to be waiting patiently in his confinements practically begging for me to untie his wrists and pounce onto his body like a lion, only—

He was gone.

The belt he was once trapped undee was now torn and thrown onto the floor.

He submits to me. But there are times in which he wants to dominate. And when he dominates, he dominates. To the point where I'd have to call in sick for the next couple of days and work from home solely because the feeling has been fucked out of my lower half.

And it's fun. I've enjoyed every minute of it.

But what I don’t enjoy, are nights like last night when things got out of hand with our arguing, bickering, yelling, and fighting until three in the morning.

Long story short: he was in the right and was mad that I wouldn't apologize.

But what can I say? I'm stubborn. And I'll be damned if I'll give into his pitiful attitude just because he was in the right.

I was slightly timid now. It doesn't help that he woke up angry and I've been teasing and taunting him for the past few days. He was lurking somewhere, I knew; and once he finds me I'd instantly become his prey.

Not that I necesarily minded.

I padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. I was watching my back because not only was he angry at me, but he was horny, too. And there's no telling what he'll do.

I hummed a random tune as I poured myself a glass of orange juice. I gulped it down and glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall. My thoughts of my upcoming meetings during the week were interrupted as the front door flew open and then slammed shut.

He grumbled words quietly to himself and set his keys, a plastic bag and his wallet on the dining table.

I remained silent.

He trotted into the kitchen, my heartbeat accelerating. He yanked the refrigerator door open and peeked his head in and grabbed his leftovers from dinner at the Cheesecake Factory a couple nights ago. His hands fumbled with the container as he roughly put his food in the microwave and slammed the fridge door closed again. He leaned his back against the kitchen counter and folded his arms with a stare in my direction that could strike anyone dead if he looked at them for too long.

I tugged at my curly hair, suddenly interested in my split ends.

The microwave beeped. "So you can't speak?"

I continued my silence.

"Oh, okay," he rubbed the hair on his chin and chuckled halfheartedly. "Not talking would be the last thing I'd do if I were you."

"I don't know what to say." I mumbled.

"How about 'Grayson you were right'? Or, let’s try this one—‘I’m sorry for tying you up at 8 a.m. when you had to pee’?"

"No." I shook my head.

"You know I was right. All I'm asking for is a simple apology."

"No."

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Listen, we can do this the easy way or my way." He shrugged. "And if we do it my way, you won't enjoy it."

I rolled my eyes. "No."

His eyes widened and his one of his arched eyebrows raised. "Oh, so we're doing things my way?" he nodded slowly. "Okay." he curled his index finger towards me. "Come here."

"No." I hopped from my seat at the kitchen table and waltzed in the direction of the stairs. I had a feeling he was going to be extra animalistic today. Also known as extra annoying.

"No. I didn't say go over there, I said come here. To me." His heavy footsteps pounded onto the tile of the kitchen floor as he began to approach me.

I backed slowly out of the kitchen.

"Come here!" He bellowed in a rasped voice. "Now."

He wasn't just mad, he was fuming. At what, though? The fact that I won’t apologize? It doesn’t matter honestly; because either way, I know he’ll beat my ass regardless.

I shook my head and turned to run upstairs and into my bedroom before he could get his hands on me. "Get back here!" His voice rang in my ears as I sprinted up the stairs and into our shared bathroom's towel closet.

I was actually kinda scared.

He pushed open the bedroom door with his Doc Marten boots being silenced by the fluffy carpet he stood on. There was no way he could find me. Even though I was hiding in one of the most obvious of places, I knew he wouldn't think to look there because he's so clouded by his anger.

"[Y/N]!" He exclaimed. "Get your ass out here before I really get angry."

My breath hitched. I knew for a sure fact he wouldn't hurt me too bad, but I was still scared because sometimes he went too far. I'm just not sure where the line of 'too far' is to be drawn.

He yanked the bathroom door open and stepped through, walking swiftly past the closet like I knew he would.

He stood still and his eyes darted in different directions before they locked on the closet door. He smirked.

"You think you can hide?" He spoke gruffly. "I don't think so." The door flew open and his devious grin grew larger.

"There you are." He continued. "I've got somethings in store for you."

He grabbed my arm and pulled me into our bedroom and threw me onto the bed. I fearfully scurried away from his towering form and he dragged me back to where he was standing. I whimpered quietly. Reaching into the bag he pulled out a pair of handcuffs, a vibrator and something else I couldn't quite place. He cuffed my wrists to the headboard. "Now I'll say this once, so you better listen and listen good." He glared at me. "You deserve this. All of it. I'm not gonna go easy on you and don't think that a simple safe word is gonna stop me. This is your punishment. Understood?"

I nodded.

“Use your words.”

"Yes." I said obediently and nodded again. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes what?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Good girl. Now open your mouth wide for me."

[loveseungs]

stray kids reacting to you waking them up by kissing them all over their face

requested by anon

a/n: oh hell very nice

warnings: very soft things ahead read @ ur heart’s own risk

chan

- o heck - o goodness - where even do u start - he’ll prolly be passed the heck out if he even gets the chance to sleep - so like,, u’d often avoid tryna wake him up - esp caus we ALL KNO HE NEEDS IT,,, LIKe,,, - anyway - but he already slept for a good 10 hours and u know he needed to be somewhere so u hopped over to the side of the bed n started showering channie in kisses - just!! some soft n innocent pecks all over his face - his eyes slowly flutter open n he’s kinda confused for 5 secs but when he realizes he’s being,, showered in love n affection… the BIGGEST smile appears on his face - ok u know the face chan makes when he smiles rlly big where his eyes sorta disappear and he giggles a lil bit while smiling - fricfricfricfric abort mission as a chan stan im attacking myself - he’s just grinning like a fool and ur beginning to get flustered so u stop - he takes this opportunity to smooch ur nose - “good morning, sunshine!”

woojin

- i’d like 2 imagine u often fall asleep cuddling woojin bc he’s The Bear of the Century - he’s just… v v v warm and soft - but one time u guys fell asleep on the couch after watching some good ol’ romcoms, buried in each other’s arms - u were very much asleep but the sun kinda hit ur eyes as it seeped through the curtains and u woke up, feeling a little bit of weight on ur waist - u realized woojin was still snuggled into u - ajdlkasjdklajlkdajsl ur heart was melting wow what does it feel like 2 wake up smothered under the snuggles of the love of ur life - u shifted ur postion to plant tiny kisses all over his face bc ksjaldjlaksjldaj kim woooooooojin - like he was already awake bc u shifted in ur position but he decided to pretend he was sleeping so he could receive more kisses - kim woojin is a sly lil’ fricker ʕ •ᴥ• ʔʕ •ᴥ• ʔ - when woojin opened his eyes suddenly and smiled his Woojin SmileTM,, u almost fell out of the couch - “ur awake!!!” u exclaimed, covering ur face - “yes, I am,” he answered, pulling u into a close hug - suddenly ur face was like - 0.5 cm away from his n jkdslkdalsdjklasjdlka - he rested his forehead on urs so he could stare into your eyes,, which he thought were just. ugh. So heckn beautiful - “I didn’t expect to be woken up in such a pleasant way,” he admits, letting his eyes linger on yours.

minho

- ughhh I feel like minho loves this sorta thing - k so like - minho took one glance at his cats and decided that he was jealous of them bc they were sleeping so peacefully - so he decided, ‘yknow,, I’m going to take a good, well-deserved nap.’ - thing is - he forgot u were coming over to hang - when u got to his house, u saw minho just,, paSSED OUT on the couch - lmao me - u were just gonna let him sleep more for a bit caus g00dness knows he is in need of rest - but soonie and doongie started to meow and paw at their empty bowls - smh minho,, feed ur siblings - so u kneel down beside the couch and attempt to wake minho up - but ofC NOT BEFORE PULLING OUT UR PHONE AND SNAPPING PICS OF THIS BAREFACED BEAUTY - usually people look decent sleeping,,, but minho was just,, OUT COLD LMAO - next time minho teased u,,, u had smth u could use against him (◕ ˬ ◕✿) - its not like u took pics bc he looked rlly cute and peaceful,,, like,,, um,,, TOTALLY NOT - anyway,, his cat-siblings were getting kinda hungry so u moved over n started 2 plant smol kisses on his face - he mumbled some incoherent strings of sounds, but ended up fluttering his eyes open - when he realized it was u pressing kisses on his face, he just grinned - “oh?” he teased. “can’t resist me, can you?” - but his confident demeanor couldn’t fool you. you saw his ears turn bright (and I mean BRIGHT) pink - “no, not really. It’s more for you because I know you like it so much.” - “so do it more, why don’t you?”

changbin - CHANGBIN FALLS ASLEEP EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE - JUST SAYING - LIKE,, HE’S THE MEMBER MOST OFTEN CAUGHT SLEEPING ON VLOG - so when you find him knocked out cold in the studio, you’re not even surprised - it’s supposed to be lunch break but the others made u go and get changbin, who they thought was still working on music prod - NO! HE’S ASLEEP - u walk towards the sleeping boy and kiss the top of his head!! - ughh he smells good - a natural, fruity scent - wow seo changbin. just marry me - u make ur way from his hair to his forehead, then to the tip of his nose, then his cheeks - u were even considering giving him a short peck on the lips but u were interrupted bc those lips u wanted 2 kiss started to turn upwards into a smile - his eyes were closed but u could tell he was awake n u started 2 kinda get flusterd bc ‘O NO CHANGBIN CAUGHT ME BEING SOFT’ - expecting some kind of witty remark about his handsomeness, you brace yourself… only to find… - changbin looking at u with such a tender gaze - asklajdlksjdklad reader,, - he is so in love with you. - his eyes say it all: the way he stares at you so delicately is proof that he, seo changbin, is deeply, madly in love with you. - “So… are you gonna continue and kiss me on my lips? I mean… it’s too late to stop now.”

hyunjin

- LSJADLSDJLKASJDLKASJDAS HWANG HYUNJIN IS WHIPPED FOR KISSES - like honestly - he loves receiving kisses just as much as he loves giving them - this is actually how he wakes u up quite often—by smothering u in lil’ smooches - HE MAKES SURE HIS LIPS ARE ALWAYS IN PERFECT CONDITION BC HE N E E D S TO BE SURE THAT WHOEVER RECEIVES HIS KISSES LOVE THEM - and o my hell, u rlly do - but one time, you wake up and he’s still asleep, cuddling his pillow - this is when u decide to turn the tables and for the first time… pepper him in kisses - just. all over his face - but wait. U wanted 2 make sure they were The Best,, so u even took an extra step and quietly made ur way to the bathroom to brush ur teeth - THE LEAST U COULD DO WAS KISS HIM SMELLING DECENT, ALRIGHT - anyway, u crawled into bed again and started to smooch him all over his face - u just - admired every single one of his facial features and kissed them - he woke up with a sleepy giggle and before u knew it,, u were the one being smothered in kisses - “I see you’re trying to use my tricks on me. That’s so adorable.” - EVERY TIME I IMAGINE SLEEPY HYUNJIN I KINDA DIE A LITTLE BC SLEEPY!HYUNJIN ON CAMERA’S REALLY REALLY CUTE henlp im soft - bonus: on days hyunjin is especially hard to wake up, you do end up kissing him but he replies with the most obscure things - you: smooches him - him: “please don’t tell me they ran out of chicken”

jisung

- listen - anything u do to jisung makes him weak - he’s just so - HE LOVES!! AFFECTION - he’s constantly asking u if u could meet up - I mean, in regards to ur schedules - bc he rlly enjoys being w u !! - and u love 2 be with him - Saturday nights became hangout night for u two - usually u’d go shopping or take a walk in the part - sometimes even just go on spontaneous trips to far away - but tonight, yall jus wanted to stay in - the weather has been cold lately, so yall opted to jus snuggle and watch Netflix - it was already quite late when ur movie finished and by the time it did, jisung was sleeping on ur shoulder - ‘ah.. he must be tired,’ you thought, examining his face - he looked,,, so tranquil, so calm… - what a rare moment bc we all know he’s rlly l o u d - but ur shoulder was starting to hurt and u wanted to make sure u could sleep comfortably - “jisung,” you whispered, planting a kiss on his forehead. “wake up… the movie’s over and I don’t want to sleep sitting down.” - he stirred a little bit, but his eyes remained closed - “jisuuuuungggg…” you mumbled, “if you don’t wake up, I’m going to kiss you.” - he’d woken up already, but seeing as you made such an offer, he mustered all his strength not to smile and pretended he was asleep - you sighed and smooched his cheeks. “jisuuung, wake up.” - “no,” he said quietly. “if I do, you won’t kiss me.” - gosh darn fellas which kdrama is this - why am I writing such cheesy things,,, I actually apologize - “can we please not sleep sitting down??? My back hurts, okay??” you requested, slapping jisung’s squirrel cheeks playfully. - “okay, but you have to wake me up like that again tomorrow.”

felix

- one word: - disaster - absolute calamity - rule 1: don’t make lee felix’s heart melt or else - but like - u, dear reader, are a rule breaker - anyway - ur neighbors w/ felix so u can easily just barge into his house n wake him up for school - and that’s what’d happen anyway - you guys would wake up, wake each other up, get ready, then head out together - it was just an average morning, and u went over to felix’s house like usual - his mom kindly let u inside and thanked u for always taking time to wake her mess of a son up - “it’s my pleasure,” you answered, heading to his room - sdjaklsdjlaskdjal did I ever mention - felix is THE BIGGEST KID ever - sometimes, it’s hard to spot him on his bed because there are like,,, - A LITERAL MOUNTAIN OF PLUSHIES - and some of them are really big - so u walk over to him and in the whirlpool of stuffed toys, you spot his face - its kinda funny how he’s sprawled out on his bed tho - if u took out the blanket, u’d see his limbs just,, everywhere - so when I say he’s sprawled out, he’s really sprawled out - gosh was this what u were gonna deal with in the married life??? - anyway u went to just smack him in the head w a pillow - like usual - but then for some reason - his face looked extra cute today - maybe it was the plushies - maybe its just because he’s sleeping - you knew rule 1 said: don’t make lee felix’s heart melt or else - but !! the way !! he was !! lying there !! - u could not resist and u kissed every single freckle on his face - “wake up, sleepyhead,” you whispered, running a hand through his hair - when he woke up and realized what was happening - he s c r e a m e d - rip headphone users - yall know how he screamed when changbin kissed him in the survival show, right?? - yeah, THAT, but 10x more wild - he just let out a ghastly scream and fell off the bed,, - wrapped himself in his blanket - “felix!!” you exclaimed, “what’s wrong??” - “STOP!! IT’S TOO EARLY TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOU, [Y/N]!!!!!!”

seungmin

- he’s not the biggest person on skinship - I mean yeah he was cool with it but it wasn’t something he’d search for every second - homeboy’s jus chill - he’s a very diligent boy who believes that rest is v impt so he always makes sure to sleep early so he can wake up early - so usually its him who wakes u up with a gentle pat and a kind “good morning!” - but one time, u find out that he’s out late because minho insists that skz extends practice for a little bit - that little bit turned into a p LONG WHILE - totally not bc they fooled around during practice,,, lmao… what r u talking about - anyway, long story short, seungmin gets home late,, but he doesn’t rlly care bc it’s a weekend after - he finds u already asleep and though he’s disappointed he can’t talk to u now, he settles in to just cuddle u until he falls asleep - when u woke, u were surprised to feel a weight on ur waist - aaaand there it was folks, a seungmin in slumber - aaaaaaahhh u were lowkey shocked bc!!! Seungmin !! was cuddling u!! - rare - u felt very thankful and happy that seungmin had u tight in his arms - for a while, u just laid in bed and thought about how much u loved this boy - soft morning hours = very open - it wasn’t until he shuffled and turned to the other side of the bed when u decided to wake him up so u could have breakfast - u decided to kiss seungmin all over his beautiful face !! - when he woke up, he frowned… - “…ew, [y/n]. you’re so cheesy.” - u scrunched ur nose. “mmm? You don’t like it?” - “no, not really,” he answered, leaning to kiss you on the lips.

jeongin

- ASDFGHJKL OKAY SO LIKE - highschool!au real quick hope u don’t mind - u were dating jeongin for quite some time - and u were v v v v v happy with it !! he treated u very well - whenever u’d go out, he’d always be rlly considerate - lmao the first time u went out,,, he bought a nice jacket that ur friends said u found cute on guys - he TRIED to impress u, and u couldn’t help but laugh bc the tag of the jacket was still on the back, which means he must’ve only bought the jacket in attempts to make u swoon or smth - anyway - u were really in love with his sweet boy - this sweet boy… who u wanted to surprise after his chorale practice - but as the evening crept in closer, u started to worry - where was jeongin?? - he wasn’t in the practice room - u checked everywhere !!! and he wasn’t there!!! - u even shot him a message but he didn’t reply - ur last stop was the library, and lo and behold - homeboy fell asleep on his books - we stan a hardworking student folks - u couldn’t help but giggle - shaking him lightly, u mumbled, “hey jeongin… wake up, it’s late and the library’s about to close.” - all he did was move his head and stir a little bit - his bangs covered his eyes a little, and u decided to brush them off… - … A MISTAKE - suddenly he looked RLLLLLLY MCHECKIN’ CUTE - oh dear oh no - ur cheeks flushed and u didn’t know what to do - asdfghjkl u SORTA RLLY WANTED TO KISS HIM - u don’t know what washed over u, but in a sec, u were peppering kisses on this sleeping boy’s face - his eyes flickered open and as he felt your lips brush against the skin on his face,,, - his cheeks became tinted with strawberry red - his ears??? PINK AS THE DAY - HE COULDN’T EVEN SPEAK PROPERLY - “t-thank you for kissing me!!!!” was all he could say before melting in his seat.

[wintersoldeer]

ok here's some totally incoherent thoughts about endgame that i just have to write down or i might explode spoilers: i loved it also actual spoilers spoilers very spoilery spoilers

1. Steve and the goddddamn mjölnir!!!!! FINALLY!!!!!! when thor, iron man and cap were like 'aw yeahhh we're gonna fight thanos' i was like what the heckie is steve even doing there, supersoldier or not he's just a human. then thor drops his hammer and i’m like oh my gods please literally crossing my fingers. then thor’s fight is not going so well and oh no he definitely needs someone to save him! i’m like ohhhhhmygooddss. and THEN IT FINALLY HAPPENS I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR YEARS HELL YEAHHHHH

2. steve & peggy dance. yes. just yes. fucking finally. i love it. it was perfect i cried

3. clint should’ve died. (finally haha) he was my fave since before the avengers and i was so sure he was going to die back then, but then he didn’t and look what’s became of him since.......... i had a violent flashback to watching age of ultron for the first time and for the first time just hoping that my fave character (that would be clint) would just die, bc they’re screwing his character over so badly........ and most definitely it. should.  not. have. been. natasha. who. died.  that was such a bullshit i mean WHAT THE FUCK????  i mean maybe clint and natasha were the only remaining avengers that actually loved each other (?¿¿????¿¿¿?¿ tho that’s just flimsy, i’m just trying to....idek) and that’s why it had to be them on that stupid fuckin death cliff, but why did natasha have to die?? just because clint had a family (still with no actual characterization, not that i even care, or maybe i would if the movies had given me any reason to...) to return to and she didn’t??that fucking sucks and what sucks even more is that not only was natasha the only character that died (i’m not even counting tony, bc that was very Different) but she’s the only original female avenger AND it’s the same stupd fucking rock that the only original female gotg gamora died in such a bullshit way just last movie??? goddddd i hated that so much like maybe if she hadn’t been the first one to die and all the original avengers would’ve died as was i kinda hoping (tho i love happy endings so i didn’t actually hope that it would happen..), maybe then i would be okay with her being dead. now i am very much not okay, and that means very much not okay in a angry way, not in a sad way

4. speaking of death: to me tony’s was perfect. i might not be the biggest fan of how he always got the most screentime and a bigger role than other characters, but i can’t deny that he definitely is the heart of the whole mcu and it had to be him who saves the day in the end and what else could it have been that a very tony-like self-sacrifice..... god i cried. i loved that he got a funeral (even tho natasha didn’t...) and i loved his funeral with all the people and fricking harley and then the kid saying how much she likes cheeseburgers and the frickin ‘proof that tony stark has a heart’ and sfghkklkghhhh

5. i gasped audibly when i noticed that natasha was wearing the arrow necklace

6. i kinda forgot that vision ever even existed..... in the end i first thought that wanda was talking about pietro and then i was like ok well maybe not maybe she’s talking about tony or something WHICH MAKES NO SENSE LOL i don’t even remember what she actually said, but as was pointed out to me, she was probably talking about vision. who was a thing that existed... whoops

7. ugh i hate brucenat, i really thought we were over that shit already. i also very much disliked that they actually decided to go with professor hulk, but idk w/e i don’t care that much. but natasha’s death sucked tho and the one thing i do not want to see is bruce’s pain or whatever when the movie didn’t even give me the time or reason to actually grieve for her goddd that whole thing was such a bullshit

8. i did not like that thor was treated as a joke most of his screentime........

9. that stevepeggy dance tho. love it. it’ll probably take me at least another seven years to get over it

10. i fricking adored the whole going back in time thing, especially the 2012. the callbacks and the humor really worked for me, the elevator scene straight from cap2 but reversed and hail hydra and steve fighting steve and loki’s expressions when things go wrong and goddhhh i loved it all aaaaaaa, that was the moment when i was like ok i need to see this movie again immediately.... also the fact that their time travel rules were that they were just creating new paths or w/e i guess, and not actually changing what happened to them specifically... good. so many aus

11. that final battle was so perfectly epic

12. tho shouldn’t valkyrie’s (who really just doesn’t have a real name, now does she..) horse have died after being shot haha

13. i loved that clint had the gauntlet for so long, like he’s definitely the Least Qualified Person to keep it safe, why would that be his job, it was amazing

14. i hated natasha’s death with burning passion, but i loved how she and clint fought each other over who gets to throw themselves off that cliff. tho i really hoped that their ‘yeahh we know what we have to do’ would’ve rather meant that they decided to just throw red skull down bc who even knows if it even actually needs love sacrifice or w/e, a soul is a soul is a soul

15. i loved the human jarvis whatever-his-first-name-was cameo and i really need to finally watch/rewatch agent carter

16. i really liked the tony howard scene even if i thought it felt a bit iffy, bc i feel like there’s so much more to unpack w/ those daddy issues.... but maybe that scene means that there is that one universe where howard was actually a good dad. i want to believe that. yeah. (maybe not but let me dream)

17. i like how they totally forgot that sharon carter ever even existed

18. damn that moment when black panther comes through that portal

19. damn that moment when gi ant-man is giant

20. damn that final battle was so epic

21. damn that steve with mjölnir

22. this movie was SO GOOD when it was good and so mehhh when it was bad, and i’m really glad that it was just good enough that i can forgive overlook all of its flaws. (tho i will not forgive what they did to natasha, even if i can mostly ignore it when thinking about how good most of the rest of the movie was) but idk if it would’ve been perfect, maybe i wouldn’t have survived like there’s this One Huge Thing (natasha) that really brings down the movie that otherwise would’ve been just Amazing

23. i don’t know if my heart has ever beaten as fast as when steve finally picks up the hammer. never while watching a movie, at least

24. i love that carol has her short haircut, bc it bothered me so much in cpn marvel that she should not have been able to see anything when her hair was just constantly on her face haha

25. i feel nothing but seething resentment towards clint’s stupid family and that stupid family man role he is stuck with

26. why was natasha’s hair so weird and ugly. why can’t it just be red??

27. clint’s hair was weird and ugly too and i think i have finally kinda given up on mcu!clint (tho he has those small Very Good moments and i cry for what could’ve been.....we could’ve have it aaaaaalllll.... i think i’m going to watch swat (2003) again and still pretend it’s the clint backstory movie i deserve haha, it’s been ages since i’ve seen it idk if it would still work for me, i’m gonna try)

28. i love nebula tho

29. i loved the trip down memory lane! frigga!!!! the way the continuation of the avengers capturing loki just felt so natural and like it probably happened just like that! nebula and rhodey judging quill’s singing and dancing haha yes! everything! just as i was hoping it would be!

30. doesn’t really have anything to do with this movie but: i still firmly believe that coulson never died. i still firmly believe that pietro never died. 

31. falcon cap helll yeah!!

32. i guess i’ll never get my strike team delta movie with clintasha best friends soulmates and with buckynat and the red room.........  goddd there really should’ve been a black widow movie after cap2. like that was The Perfect Spot for a black widow movie, it’s really a crime that there isn’t one, and even if they make a black widow movie now, it’ll definitely be too little too late.

33. like..... a for effort..... for that female heroes girl power.... ughhhh.... scene, i guess, but that. does. not. cut. it. when you have just killed natasha

34. things i really wished they would say in some perfect moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble!” “i am iron man”. things they did say in those moments: “hail hydra” “avengers assemble” “i am iron man”, gogssgddd that was perfect (ok i also really did wish steve would’ve said the “i could do this all day” in the fight but couldn’t say bc the movie had just made fun of that.. i’m kinda sad but haha it’s not that big of a deal, maybe if he hadnt said it in civil war which i dont like but well...)

35. haha people are already complaining about the steve going back thing and how it’s definitely not moving on and erasing character development or whatever and HA. i finally got my stevepeggy dance i don’t care about anything else i am so happy!!!!!

36. i am so glad i managed to avoid any spoilers bc i hear that there was some pretty massive ones going around??¿?¿?

37. also: ok from here on out i am not here for any of you negative nancys complaining (probably very reasonable complaints idec) about the movie, god i really wish it was 2012 again

38. in final thoughts: i absolutely loved it and i love that it turns out that i’m apparently still very much marvel trash........ if natasha hadn’t died, especially in such a bullshit way, i would’ve been able to overlook everything else that was kinda meh about the movie and just purely and blindly loved it. i still did love it, a lot, but now there’s that bitter aftertaste.....

ok now, maybe that’s enough rambling and repeating myself....... i’m going to need to see it again asap

//EDIT

39. I FORGOT TO MENTION IT BC I FORGOT ABOUT IT but goooooooooodddd i loved nebula and tony playing that game in the beginning and tony letting nebula win ääääää

[jjinomu]

in regard to tda edits and future plans

soz for another text post i had a long day n ive been thinking about things a while back i stated that after i do a gakupo edit, then i'll cease shitting out tda edits and i feel like!!??? i might need to explain why a lil bit (dw i changed my decision to end my tda streak but i'll address that later) 

keep in mind im not trying to shade people or be a dick about things, it's just a dump of my thoughts and reasons in case ppl were like ???? 

also long post because its my 12am thoughts again and u know how i am, i like to ramble about really weird shit at 12am 

edit: in case u don’t actually give a shit about anything that i’m about to start rambling on, i stated at the bottom that the wedding apocalypse is back on again so i’ll reply to everything tomorrow hehe (and i’ll still do tda edits, but they’re no longer my main priority anymore)

i listed it because only assholes list their reasons for being assholes and I'm an asshole for being like this

1. i have too many tda edits obviously gotta poke around other areas and by areas i mean my own scratch stuff

 2. ive grown a lot more sensitive over my tda edits as of recently as well (including my old crap) which isn't something i do very often (I'm also not even 100% sure y I'm like this suddenly it’s like IAB all over again except I'm not an ignorant, flaming, hyper-agitated 12 year old anymore)- probably a side effect of mass rule-breakage and then people giving me the "i dont understand your rules so i edited and unlocked them anyway without asking you to reiterate bc that seems totally logical in my tiny brain." that shit gets to you 

 3. main and probably the most realist reason why i reached the decision ive made: (this is gna be kinda sad-sounding almost but wateva just tda edits yo) 

as people may have realised (especially if you've stuck around since probably the beginning of this blog) i've spent a few years developing my own style of tda, that still remains recognisable as tda but is still personalised enough for my own tasting and aesthetics, whether people enjoy my own stylistic preferences is up to them (as a lot of you do and i totally and utterly appreciate that)

 nowadays with my flunctuating rules and the fact that some of my old models were editable or some models i've given people permission to edit OOC or whatever, i sometimes see an odd face edit of mine or my stylisation of Tda hair or my textures or whatever appearing on models and i don't actually mind or it doesn't concern me in the way ur probably thinking (like im not fuming mad or overly depressed about it) especially since i often take it as a compliment because people just like my style and adopt it and i think that's super sweet- but basically, in simple terms, i, especially as of recent, feel like i've lost that satisfaction of those years of me developing, experimenting and perfecting this tda style, my own personal aesthetic style for myself, to others- yknow wat i mean???? 

i guess in even more basic fundamental terms, i don't feel "original" enough anymore and my style and the hardwork i put into said gross style has vaporised and i can't continue doing these edits as much as i'd like to???? because i almost feel like it's been "stolen" i guess (harsh word but it's kinda like that in a sense). 

i don't mean that to sound so cruel and full asshole, because it all boils down to literally my own fault for being loose at first and then being super sensitive later on (hah weird euphemism) and as a result, i've kinda "lost" my "mojo" 

i mean i can still do tda edits but sometimes they no longer feel like they're mine or a total waste of my time- because heck anyone could take my face edits and make their own tda edits- and i sort of lose my motivation due to that dilemma (especially for the past few weeks, the only reason i was shitting so many tda edits was because i just had no internet- but it’s taken me longer to do (not even complete) the tda edits i currently have showcased than i usually do bc i just feel so......... yknow.......) as i don’t want to do something someone else has done (hence was the drive for me to do my own tda style in the first place, a mainstream model style with a unique aesthetic that’s different so i don’t match the other 1829310283 tda mikus or kaitos or meikos and i’m still free to do whatever i feel like doing without that strong kind of guilt- in a way)- but like i said, when someone does something i haven’t done..... especially if they do it in my style- then it becomes some weird existentialist crap like “who am i even”

idk what im saying but basically because of these three points- i decided to stop tda edits after gakupo (a while ago) but DW now i've changed my mind and i'll still do tda edits here and there, especially for more difficult vocaloid designs (as i love doing clothes)- but they'll no longer be my main priority (i.e. if you want to suggest a tda edit i'll more likely not do it, but if you suggest a scratch model- i'll more likely will) especially with uni on top of everything, i'll be more heavily focus on my scratch models and developing my own scratch style- from well scratch- rather than stay looped up in my tda issue and trying to figure out how to constantly change and improve my style so it remains different and unique (and still falling into my own aesthetic), i hope this decision is an ok compromise rather than just abandoning my tda edits entirely (i mean i love my shitty tda edits, they’re fun and quick to do and i feel super accomplished when i finish one in record speed and i like that feeling hehe)

i sincerely hope this doesn't offend anyone (and if it does- i'm really and truly sorry, i don’t mean to- this is just a thought dump and i doubt people are going to read it but i just need it outta my SYSTEM- just keep in mind it's nobody's fault but my own as this is just a me issue that i no longer know how to solve or?? i guess care about solving?? and i appreciate and still enjoy everything- be it people using my models or editing them in my style (alas i'll burn you at the stake if you credit incorrectly though)) but i wrote this up in case anyone really wanted to know my thoughts on situations and i guess- the inevitable downfall of jjinomu lbr- here it is laid out flat in my slightly incoherent, hazy state of truth and drowning sadness

in better news though the wedding apocalypse can finally be returned as of TODAY so i'll reply to everything tomorrow when i'm not exhausted and going though some weird existential crisis