#if they paid child support it the manipulation wouldn't have worked

[gutsybitsies]

#I probably already reblogged this#but yeesssssss#pjo#percy jackson#son of magic#alabaster torrington#he is also topnotch biased narrator who is ready to fight all the tj#nico di angelo#alabaster c torrington

YES this 100%! Alabaster is SUCH a biased narrator, and haley riordan does a great job showing it! having a super biased narration in this case was a good thing because it made the story that much more emotional and raw. his pain, his grief, his guilt, his conviction, twists his view of events!

like i feel like there is so much to unpack in son of magic precisely because of this, and it's so fun to talk about.

for example, alabaster says that kronos was killed by percy, not luke. well one explanation is that he simply has faulty information and assumes that percy killed kronos because that might be the story that reached him after his judgement. but! since the gods were supposed to honor luke as a hero, there's also a chance that alabaster did hear the correct version of events (ie luke betrayed kronos and killed himself), and just chose to think "fuck that's such bullshit, it's obviously a lie." OR he thought "well what's the difference between that, percy is still the cause of kronos' death so it's still true that percy killed kronos"

THEN the whole bitterness about being banished from camp halfblood, WHILE calling the people from the camp brainwashed. Honest to god think that Alabaster really, really REALLY got a good deal because he was still chafing at the bit and still wanted to keep going and fighting. like the gods are not known for their mercy, and he's still alive despite everything.

i think the saddest basically confirmed deaths that we got from Son of Magic are the deaths of those preteens that we saw from Percy's perspective on the Andromeda when he and Beckendorf went to blow it up. like that's what fucked me up the most. of COURSE alabaster would want to kill percy if he had known and had been close to any of those demigods that almost definitely died during that explosion. this is the story from him that i think has the most objective truth to it and we can trust, just because alabaster has seen it first hand and he isn't relying on information he had to glean from other sources.

like yeah maybe alabaster isn't the only demigod to survive andromeda, and maybe some other demigods got lucky as well, but let's be real. percy killed a lot of kids that day. like yes he warned that 12 year old he stopped to get off the ship and to tell the other demigods, but cruise ships are large. and they have no cell reception. his warning maybe saved that particular 12 year old but it would have had very little time to reach a significant number of demigods (if they would even listen).

and again, it's war. i dont know the geneva convention, and neither does the war council headed by literal teenagers who have dyslexia. basically still team percy did the best he could and tried to save as many people as possible but had very very limited resources.

read son of magic and i'm team percy did the best he can in the middle of the war and tried to clean up the mistakes of beings who can vaporize him in a second and was a literal child so sue him if there are times he seemed shortsighted or forgot something. sorry that he, a mortal hero who wasnt the one to father then abandon any children, couldnt have made better decisions that saved every single person in the war that defined his life since he was 12.

but also son of magic was fire, it was pretty great, and i love how it plays with perspectives. i like how old man riordan tries to age down his style of writing but teen riordan is like fuck it we ball. i know some readers say that it changed their view on percy but like this was also very much just alabaster's pov of what happened and influenced by his bias (rmmber how he said kronos was killed by percy, when kronos was actually killed by Luke).

The barebones of what happened to the demigods after defeat was either death or reabsorption into camp halfblood. it's reasonable to assume that quite a lot of titan's army demigods got caught in the massacre, even if it was targeted to monsters and other titans. i just don't believe it was hundreds of demigods, im pretty sure alabaster implied that to be dramatic. i dont think hundreds of claimed greek demigods even existed during that time. Camp Jupiter had 5 cohorts of at most 40 ppl a cohort, numbering at most 200 teen Roman demigods AND legacies at a time. And the Romans were able to have so many because 1) they include legacies and 2) they had a lower mortality rate. So the idea of hundreds of demigods fighting in Kronos' army much less dying for the army? i think not.

Exile was specifically tailored to Alabaster because of how headstrong he and Hecate are and because it's a trait that children of Hecate follow the strongest. Its why he was targeted by Lamia since he's the strongest and once he dies, she gets to be in charge of the rest of Hecate's children. IDK ITS A REALLY DEPRESSING STORY OF A TEEN SOLDIER DEALING WITH SURVIVOR'S GUILT also i think haley riordan did a great job really diving into alabaster's viewpoint

[peachymilkandcream]

Break Me Slowly|Part 27|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: Sadness over! Domestic Evelyn and Levi here we come. Back to the shenanigans that make these two so special. The last chapter will be chapter 30 so be prepared for a little bit of sadness with that. Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, vaguely implied suicide, etc.

===============================================

That house was so familiar yet so foreign. It felt like it had been years since either stepped foot in that house, surprisingly undamaged from the chaos an mayhem. Most of the staff had fled in the terror of the infernal footsteps but the housekeeper remained, determined to ensure her employer's house remained untouched so she would still have a position if he lived and a sizable gain if he died.

How humiliating it was for Levi to be carried in by his wife. His damn legs rendered useless by a split second lack of judgement. He'd get his strength back, he was sure of it. Training and hard work had given him the body he had, he wouldn't allow any injuries to define his quality of life. No matter how long it took, he'd be right back to where he was, a man to be feared and respected. Besides, he had a son to raise when his wife gave birth, he wanted someone his future son could respect and look up to.

While their world had changed, the house within was the same. Slightly dirtier with only one to clean its mass, but still comfortingly the same. Evelyn and Levi knew the truth, they were lucky. Extremely lucky. Armin and the others had been regarded as fiends who killed their savior Eren Jeager. The Captain and wife had been welcomed back with open arms since Evelyn was accredited with helping to start The Rumbling and supporting Eldia's future at all costs. As for Levi, the lie spun was that Floch had only had issue with the Captain for personal reasons but he was never a threat to Eldia, in fact he fought for them but was tragically wounded before he could do more. Levi only agreed to this when the possibility of raising his children where he always dreamed was in front of him. His family mattered more than a bunch of kids he barked orders at.

=============================================

Picking up the pieces of an old life came slowly, many nights were spent desperately trying to sleep as the silence deafened them. Other nights were interrupted by shaking and screaming in terror as the nightmares of being crushed flooded their minds. The days were spent lazily enjoying the company of each other until the new Eldian government sorted itself out.

Evelyn was six months pregnant when Levi was officially given a position in the Eldian military. The lack of work had been driving him crazy, and when Commander Erwin was reinstated as a lesser head of the military thanks to a few pulled strings, the call to sign his enlistment form was instantaneous. His new uniform looked odd compared to the usual green and white, but there would always be adjustments, and if it meant gaining the respect of all those who saw him in the streets it was worth it.

=============================================

With the fall came the panicked cry of his wife from upstairs one weekend, causing the Captain to nearly trip and fall on the stairs, fearing for the worst.

"What is it? What's going on!?"

The bent over and sharp breathing coming from his wife signified that his dreams of a legacy as far as the eye could see were coming to fruition sooner than he thought.

Only the best midwife would do, paid well to ensure the risky business of childbirth wouldn't claim that of his beloved and child. Unlike most men of the era Levi was determined to be in the room overseeing everything that occurred, ensuring that there would be no foul attempts to harm his wife or child.

The screaming and wailing threatened to deafen him, the face of agony some men had told him had turned them off of having and more children just made him desire more. He was a sadist through and through, and he still believed deep down she deserved to suffer for all the stress she put him through.

Finally he was freed from her persistent whining when his child's first cries filled the room. An eyebrow raised to show Levi's amount of concern but the glass in his hand sloshing around the stiff liquor seemed of more importance, he could never show such a weakness as joy to anyone, even his wife and child.

"So what is it." He asked flatly.

"It's a boy sir. You have a son-"

Levi turned quickly to hide his grin of pride, on the brink of extinction another Ackerman had been born to carry on the family name. His wife truly was the most perfect creature on the planet to give him all that he desired and on their first try.

He gazed on the child set against his mother's chest. "I want to hold him."

For a moment Evelyn seemed hesitant, good, she was coming to bond with the child already, now it could be used as a bargaining chip to ensure she remained where she ought.

With the child securely in his arms Levi allowed himself to show a smidge of emotion, bouncing the bundle and speaking to him softly. "You will be set apart from all my son, destined to be a great soldier and become just like your father."

"Congratulations, have you decided on a name for such a precious boy?" The midwife smiled kindly with her yellowed teeth.

"Well actually I like-" Evelyn started.

"Furlan. Furlan Ackerman. That is his name. He will carry that name to higher heights than the man before him."

"Now isn't that nice, a strong name for a strong boy."

Levi ignored the rest of the gossip as to what names can do for a child, focused only on the perfection in his arms. As perfect as he was, as his wife was. No other would ever have children as great as they would.

"Furlan Ackerman, the name of humanity's next strongest soldier."

[geddy-leesbian]

at long last, I present my headcanon about Luis's education/career timeline + why he kept working for Umbrella while knowing how fucked all of it was

First off there's enough 16 and younger high up Umbrella scientists that it's easy to just accept that shit in the RE world is just Like That and a 12 year old Luis rocking up to enroll in university just makes sense within the logic of the world, but my personal headcanon is way more expansive than that. I like to imagine him actually going to a school operated by Umbrella. The Umbrella boarding school in the Arklay Mountains was shut down, but I headcanon that it wasn't the only one. Umbrella having boarding schools for child prodigies just makes perfect sense- I mean just read a file about the Executive Training School. 

Going after/investing in younger kids is a logical thing to do because they're so much easier to manipulate and brainwash into being exactly what Umbrella wants. 

And since Umbrella Europe had that rivalry where they were always trying to compete with their sister branch, I can imagine them seeing what happened to the Executive Training School as an opportunity: Umbrella US fucked up the concept, so they can outdo them by simply running their own competently, without it completely falling apart.

Now you're probably thinking there's a hole in my headcanon, the fact that Hunnigan's report mentions Luis enrolling in university and working for Umbrella after graduating. 

My counterpoint is that Umbrella is sketchy as fuck. The whole "James Marcus being a crazy person and performing fucked up experiments on his own students" shit show happened when Luis was just a toddler. So I like to think that inspired them to get a little more cautious when it came to their fucked up child prodigy shenanigans, in time for them to have a solid system worked out by the time Luis is orphaned. And by that I mean they'd find a university to bribe into giving them cover. A new child prodigy graduates from the Umbrella school, Umbrella coughs up some cash, and suddenly that kid attended a university they never actually stepped foot in, and has a diploma with no direct ties to Umbrella. They 100% had the resources and pull to swing some type of arrangement like that. 

And Luis is literally the most perfect target for a school like this. He's not just young, he's from an extremely isolated place, making him even easier to manipulate. He also has nothing. They can single him out and crack the whip and push him harder than any of his peers, and he'll just accept it, because what else can he do?

It's Umbrella, or the streets for him.

And I think he probably caught on to the fact that he had made a deal with the devil pretty quickly after starting on the Nemesis Project, but he had made his bed and had to lie in it. Because even after he graduates/becomes a legal adult, they have him completely locked in. There's literally no paper trail or anything official supporting the fact that he's a person who exists. The only thing is the university records Umbrella paid for. Umbrella can hand over some chump change and make those go away too. He wouldn't even be able to start from scratch without a degree, because they could go after him for fraud too. Claim he showed them his degree when they hired him, but discovered it must have been a fake, because the university has no records of him. Who would the courts side with, the kid without a birth certificate, or the pharmaceutical giant that can afford an army of lawyers? It's probably not enough to be all that life ruining, but threats don't necessarily have to be true to work. With Luis's unique life, he's most likely going to be scared of any threat like that, he just doesn't have any experience or context to help him get a grip and really think about it, he's just scared shitless at the thought of going to prison.

And ending this with a point that's independent of my other headcanons in the post and can work on its own. When discussing why Luis stayed for years, we can't forget about Rockfort Island.

On the island, there is also a prison camp and an airport. The prison camp especially, represents an especially dark side of Umbrella. Potential industrial saboteurs and traitors to Umbrella are captured and sent there to be used as human guinea pigs in biological experiments. Once inside, prisoners are held there indefinitely.

(emphasis mine)

I think the common assumption is that Luis fucked off back to Valdelobos because of Raccoon City and being afraid of governments/law enforcement coming after Umbrella, but I really think it was actually Umbrella he was running from. Umbrella would have seemed untouchable at this point, they had the blessing of the government to do what they did in Raccoon City, I doubt anyone there genuinely thought there would ever be legal consequences for any of that. Legal consequences were maybe a far-off possibility that wasn't guaranteed, while Umbrella was very much a real, present, active danger.

But if he got to a point where he couldn't handle the guilt of what he was doing anymore, his options were to disappear completely, or risk being captured and taken to a concentration camp. (Even just resigning normally, without taking any actions against Umbrella, would leave him terrified. A well-liked rising star like him just suddenly resigning, and offering no explanation, likely would have seemed suspicious, and given that Rockfort inmates were a resource for experiments, I can't imagine the bar for what makes someone a "traitor to Umbrella" is very high.)

[hidesinhisarchived]

so, let's talk about elijah cohen for a minute. i'm going to put it under a cut because it involves a parent being mentally and emotionally abusive and manipulative. please don't read if this sort of thing is triggering to you.

elijah cohen is, first and foremost, a bitter man. he had once dreamed of entering the army and becoming a distinguished career officer, but those dreams were destroyed when a freak accident permanently messed up his leg and left him with a limp. after this, he became absolutely obsessed with order and outward appearances. he ran a tight ship in his home. everything was neatly budgeted out and each child was carefully planned. he had a certain image in mind for each of them and both ricky and cindy fell into those roles easily, each perfect in his eyes. mark, however, was much like his grandparents ( elijah's parents ): gentle, empathetic, emotional, creative. mark saw the world in a way that elijah didn't understand and, as such, elijah tried to force mark to comply to his vision by constantly critiquing every little thing he did to the point where mark was a nervous wreck around elijah.

when none of that worked, elijah just gave up on him. refused to support him. told him to stop being a dumbass and focus on a "real" career. it all came to a head when mark dropped out of brown university at 20 years old. elijah essentially disowned and fully gave his son up for lost. in eljiah's eyes, mark was the ultimate failure. he doesn't know where he "went wrong" with him.

despite this gif set being about a daughter talking about her father, this could very well be mark talking about elijah. during their last confrontation, elijah very much said something along the lines, "i fed, clothed, and put up with you for eighteen years. i paid for you to go to college. i paid for everything so that you wouldn't have to work and so you could focus on your schooling. this is how you repay me? you're not my son. you're a failure and a disappointment."

mark does not talk about his father because of the sheer amount of pain that it causes him. he worked so hard his entire life to do something to get his father's approval and failed at every turn. he's also incredibly angry because of the amount of physical and verbal abuse elijah put him through. he knows that he should hate his father, but he can't quite bring himself to do so.

elijah was also incredibly homophobic and is the root cause for mark suffering from compulsive heterosexuality and denying his true self for years, but that's another topic to delve into for another day.

[pomoapple]

Bringing up black and brown American interaction with government paid civilian killers shows that racism is at the heart of zionist nationalism.

People will gladly speak about how brown people across the world should abide by the orders of their government paid civilian killers because they understand that American brown people have poor interactions with their government paid civilian killers. But because they're invested in demonizing Palestinians they insidiously ignored the cold hard fact that black and brown people are regularly killed by cops even when they do everything right.

"Don't antagonize people with guns, just do whatever they tell you, why don't you just listen, give up your home to maybe save your family, let me inform you of my own personal measurement of importance in my life as an American!!" Who actually thinks to write this filth??

Anti Palestinian hatred will manipulate a story of a minor getting shot up while their family refused to participate in their own colonization and rewrite the story in favor of zionist violence.

Grilling people as to why an entire family didn't allow their Palestinian home to be confiscated by foreign government agents = "can I ask an insensitive question???"

Reimagining yourself into a situation where you weren't present to retell how you would personally be the perfect victim = "if these gunmen showed up at MY DOOR then MY RESPONSE wouldn't be to say no!"

Resisting the colonization that would negatively impact someone's life and force them to be homeless and ruin their lives forever = "my life is more important than what I have and where I live"

Government agents armed and given permission to murder and shoot unarmed civilians that they find too unruly aka innocent people who don't want to be stolen from = "soldiers"

Resisting being a victim of theft = "intimidation"

Solidifying the fact that black and brown bodies that are regularly over policed and seen as a threat by default have dangerous interactions with cops just from what they say and do = "I must be thinking like this cuz I'm America"

Realizing that zionists send other zionists out into Palestine with the goal of harassing Palestinians and creating scenarios where if Palestinians aren't ok with being harassed and stolen from then they will shoot children = "don't antagonize people who are looking to shoot antagonists"

SERIOUSLY! Palestinian hatred is the flavor of the month but this hatred is running deep. Anti Palestinian hatred will have you see a story of a family getting terrorized by armed gunmen for the sake of their government and have the interaction end with a little boy getting gunned down and the reactionary response is to question why the victims didn't just take their victimization at face value and allow themselves to be forced into poverty and homelessness by people who are there to antagonize and terrorize them.

Being a state appointed terrorist, whether it's at the level of a dogmatic cop or at the level of a military foot soldier, means to create scenarios where you get to apply your personal standards on who lives or dies and you can make those decisions comfortably because you know the people keeping you employed will back you up. That's the agreement between the state and its armed employees. "Work for us and enforce our anti black anti brown imperialist agenda and put yourself in the line of duty and we'll support you by manipulating the law and societal opinion to give you almost complete impunity and citizen nationalism".

Someone who wanta to be a child shooter doesn't magically lose their desire to shoot children just because their victims choose to comply. That's the standard of law enforcement. We witness regularly thru war and police interaction that if a gunmen wants you dead he'll just shoot you. Palestinians have compiled with their attackers before and have allowed themselves to be stolen from, unlawfully arrested, be made homeless, be brutalized and have literally taken pro cop advice and just gave in/said yes/left and STILL end up with a bullet in the brain/back/body

The goal of Israeli zionism is to shoot first ask questions never later. No pro cop beliefs will ever effect their implementation of that goal and its ahistorical and anti Palestinian to tell people otherwise

Also huge heads up to the prev poster. I WILL NOT BE READING YOUR RESPONSE TO ME. YOU TELLING ME THAT I HATE JEWISH PEOPLE FOR BEING AGAINST YOUR PRO COP AGENDA HAS NO WORTH. YOU TELLING ME IM ANTI SEMITIC FOR BEING ANTI ZIONIST HAS EFFECT ON REALITY. YOU PAINTING THESE VICTIMS AS ANTAGONIZERS IS RACIST AND ANTI PALESTINIAN AND PRO IMPERIALIST AND IT IS BENEATH ME TO ARGUE WITH A NATIONIST. Feel free to still type and maybe entertain other anti Palestinians but please know that I won't read any of it

[haechanniesunflowers]

Mafia!Ateez reaction to s/o being abused by her family

Warnings: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK domestic abuse, bruises, scars, toxic family behaviour, manipulation, torture, mentions of blood, smoking, murder, death

I'm so sorry if this made you uncomfortable, my dms are always open if you want to talk about anything

Requested by @racheloveyunho

It only gets darker and longer with the next member

Hongjoong

He came home early so you weren't prepared and were wearing a tanktop with shorts

He saw the bruises on your back and thighs

When he asked you about it later that day, you sobbed and told him that your brothers beat you because you insisted on moving in with Hongjoong

Would pretend that it didn't affect him but on the inside he's furious

He himself doesn't like to physically discipline anyone unless it is necessary or they get on his nerves and bring him to that point

How dare they lay a finger on you

He wouldn't change his behaviour with you, he'd be his usual caring self, all the while planning to knock some sense into your brothers

He laid a trap for your brothers to fall right into and met with them personally

He's a reasonable man so he started with talking to them but when they didn't listen and called him slurs he threatened to murder them

They knew Hongjoong was a part of a mafia and didn't want to anger him any further

They promised him that they would treat you better

Seonghwa

You told him you tripped and fell while you were packing your things to move in with him and that's how you got the bruise on your head and a busted lip

He bought it honestly because he's soft for you and couldn't see you like that so his focus was to get you the medical treatment you needed

You were happy with him and spent almost all of your time with him but he didn't want to hold you back form meeting your friends and family

You were ecstatic to meet your friends but not your family

They hurt you after all

So when he had someone drop you off to your family house, you were nervous but still went inside to meet them

What you got was taunts and verbal abuse

When you tried convincing them that Seonghwa was indeed very kind and loving towards you, they hit you so hard, you lost your balance and your back hit the glass corner of the table which you tried holding onto and ended up scratching your upper arm, drawing blood

You were shocked and hurt and ran out of the house

You hailed a taxi and went to your friend's house and told Seonghwa to pick you up from there

When he came home that night, you were already asleep

In the morning he woke up and found you in the kitchen at the brink of tears and you cheek was a little swollen and purplish

He asked you what happened but you said you liked hanging out with your friends yesterday and these were tears of joy and that your swollen cheek was because you ran into a glass wall

He believed you like always and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into an embrace and accidentally put pressure on the bruise on your back from yesterday

You yelped and arched your back

This time he didn't ask you but lifted your shirt to see for himself, despite your protests and was shocked to say the least

He made you feel comfortable enough to tell him that it was your family's doing

He reassured you that everything will be okay and that you could stay with him forever

That night he paid your family a visit after you went to sleep

They never contacted you again

Yunho

Your family was very religious and never really messed with you because Yunho made it very clear how protective he was towards you

Any bitter comment from your family would earn them a death glare from Yunho

He'd stare them down until they got super uncomfortable

Nobody knew what he was capable of, other than the fact that he was involved with a mafia

Your family wanted you to stay away from him but you loved him and he had promised to protect you and shield you from the mafia life

Yunho's girlfriend had no face, no one in the mafia world had ever seen you

One day you were visiting your family to celebrate your sister's birthday

You felt unwelcomed, you own blood was making you feel uncomfortable

When the guests had left and it was time to open the presents, your brother told you to go home

You were embarrassed but tried to reason with him that you guys were family

He started saying hurtful things and called you a slut and accused you of selling yourself to a dirty mafia rat who kills people for a living. He said you are nothing but his whore and he will replace you one day when he is tired of you and then you will have no one to turn to because they didn't consider you family anymore

You got up and went to the home. The home Yunho had made in the middle of a dense forest to hide you and came to see you almost every day

Yunho had decided to complete his work in advance today so he could spend more time with you in the next days, since you said you would be at your family house today

You unlocked the door and went in crying. You were wailing so hard that you laid on the floor in the lobby

You screamed when you felt someone grab you by your arms and made you sit up

Yunho looked at you in shock and worry, you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck and cried your heart out, not caring if you were being loud and looking like a mess

You didn't need to tell him what had happened because he was aware your family had something to do with this

You woke up in bed the next day, feeling numb but had a severe headache

You looked around the room and saw a shirtless Yunho starting outside the window, you called out to him "Yunho..."

"I don't want to know what they did or said. I'm never ever going to allow you to meet them again. It took everything I had in me to stop from murdering them because I don't want to hurt you, but I can't have anyone else hurting you either"

He turned around and looked furious, you had only once seen him this angry when a spy from another mafia broke into your house and tried to stab you. Yunho had ripped his jaw off of his face with his bare hands in front of you and you fainted from shock from the intensity of the situation

Right now he had the same look on his face and you didn't want to anger him any further

Yeosang

He had never been the one to talk a lot

His calm and collected nature made people underestimate him

Your family used to love Yeosang and were supportive of your relationship with him, they were happy when you moved in with him, but that was before they knew who he was

Only you knew that Yeosang was a cold blooded killer. He was his gang's ace, he was sharp, very intelligent and very manipulative, not to mention he was the second most strongest member and was very good with weapons, his speciality being butterfly knives. He killed people the bad guys and felt no remorse. His gang members often joke that he only feels two emotions, rage when the bad guys cause menace and love towards you.

He got you pregnant and you were now worried but Yeosang had reassured you that no one in this world will ever lay a finger on you as long as he is by your side. He made you feel safe and loved. He didn't trust anyone to help you around the house so he stayed home to help you.

One day your family came over to meet you and ask after you unannounced, you being 7 months pregnant, were home alone

They wanted to see your huge house, you were nervous because you didn't want them to see some rooms but couldn't keep up with them because you got tired from walking

Then the unthinkable happened, they saw everything. They saw Yeosang's training room, his collection of knives and bulletin boards with photos of people, nasty looking people. One board had two sets of photos of the same person, one photo was for Yeosang to know who to attack and the other photo of the same person killed by him. Yeosang never wanted you to see the contents of the room, let alone your family.

They told you to come with them and to leave Yeosang but you tried to tell them that you were more than okay and wanted to stay with him

It all happened too fast, your father grabbed you by your arm, dragged you outside and forced you to sit in the car while your mother pleaded to him to not shove you around like that in this state. They didn't drive home, they were fleeing the city to get as far away from Yeosang as possible

You were screaming, your parents paid no attention to you, they thought you were protesting but actually you were screaming because of the excruciating pain you were experiencing. You were bleeding and your mom had noticed it but they were on a highway and there was no hospital nearby. They couldn't do anything about it so they kept driving out of the city, your father hoping the child would die in your womb because he now hated Yeosang and wouldn't be able to love his child either.

You fainted and after 2 hours of driving, they got to a hospital. No one knew but you were carrying twins, sadly one of them had died in your womb while the other was born healthy. You were now fighting for your life. Your parents were scared for you and afraid of being tracked down by Yeosang.

You and your baby spent a month in the hospital and recovered enough for your parents take you with them

On the other side Yeosang was on the verge of a mental breakdown. He was out looking for you, now scared and confused and in rage. He didn't know who had taken you away and was frustrated and tired but he couldn't let you go. You were the love of his life and the only person in the world who ever loved him.

He got a lead on you and within hours was outside the house where your parents were hiding you.

He broke in the house in the middle of the night and found you crying on the bed with a sleeping child by your side. He instantly became soft at the sight, all the rage he had in him was replaced by love. He softly called to you and you whipped your head up and instantly ran to him.

You begged him not to harm your parents and he couldn't say no. He silently took you and his month old son back home in the dead of the night

San

San was not one person, he had two kinds of personalities, one was a ruthless assassin and the other, a passionate lover. Both personalities had him being manipulative in common

He absolutely hated your family because you were a free spirit and liked taking risks while they were the complete opposites and often tried holding you back but you always loved an adventure and that's how you ended up with Choi San.

You dispised your family the same as they did you. You were so used to the beating that you felt nothing now. Profanities were very common too and you wanted nothing but to slap each and every one of them and run away.

You were head over heals for him the moment he crossed paths with you but you didn't show that to him. He tried manipulating you into getting you to sleep with him but you knew better and brushed him off

He was used to women being on their knees for him so you not doing that was a challenge for him and he was hell bent on getting you to like him

He was going crazy over you and started meeting you at your workplace during his missions, like he had to kill a man in 30 minutes but he just had to see you first

When you weren't giving in to his art of seduction, he tried a different way

He asked you out like a decent human being and you said yes, wow that was easy, right?

No, you made him work hard for your love and affection and he was obsessed with making you happy to feel loved by you and by the time San realized what was going on, it was too late

He was madly in love with you and practically drooling over you

He finally asked you to move in with him and you said yes even though you knew your family would disapprove. You went home and packed your stuff and tried to leave but your family members didn't let you leave and in an effort of saving you from inevitable destruction which was Choi San, they beat you to the point you passed out.

They texted San from your phone, pretending to be you and told him to stay away and leave you alone, that you wanted nothing to do with him.

San was confused and scared when he got that text from you and texted you back to take your time and rethink your decision.

You woke up in your room at some point during the night, unable to open one eye because it had been bruised badly. Your head was bleeding and the blood had dried on your face. You left leg hurt a lot because of you lying in an unnatural position. You didn't have your phone or anything else

You felt empty and all you wanted was to be in San's loving embrace

It was now or never

You escaped from your window and somehow managed to get to San's front door, it was almost morning

You knocked on his door and called for him

He opened the door after some time and took in your form

He was in too much rage but he had to tend to you first

A few weeks later he came home and told you that he made sure your family is now in another city far away from you and won't contact you again

A tear slipped down your face, you were free from their torment

You kissed San and thanked him

He would do anything to make you happy

Mingi

Mingi was the notorious mafia leader who has connections with the government and the dark world

He had money and fame (the good and bad kind) and all that was missing was love and you filled that void

He loved you too much and would never let anyone hurt you

People knew better

So your own family, your own blood hurting you for wanting to live with Mingi didn't sit well with him

He was distracted at work and all he could see was your face, your tear filled eyes, your bruised arm and your distraught state

He wished he had sent someone to get you from your family house sooner so you didn't have to go through the abuse

He wished you never told them about it and just moved in with him

You were in his home, resting in his bed, thinking about what had happened

Did they really didn't see any good in Mingi?

Did they really have to hit you?

Did you do the right thing?

These thoughts flooded your mind and you were just as distracted

Mingi came home in a hurry and told you to come with him

You asked him where you guys are going and he says we're going to get back at them

He took you to your house and barged right in, unannounced

Seeing Mingi in person was overwhelming and your family were scared, pleading to him to let them go

Mingi told them that he was going to kill them for hurting you and there was panic and chaos

You came to stand next to him, squeezed his hand and softly told him that you want to go home

He couldn't say no to you so he warned them that this isn't over and took you home

You talked to Mingi and convinced him to let them go because they were your family after all

He's the one who said that if the loved toy and cared for you, they wouldn't hurt you like this and family doesn't mean you have to tolerate this kind I'd behavior when you're old enough to make decisions for yourself

You kissed him and wondered why couldn't your family see the good in him

Wooyoung

It started off with you slowly telling your folks about what Wooyoung did for a living

You were smart, so you didn't tell them about his business until you moved in with him otherwise they would have disapproved

You didn't mention that he tortured people and killed them without remorse, no, you said that he works with an organization that eliminates evil people which was true in essence

Your family was having none of it

They wanted you as far away from him as possible

You loved him and he loved you but they didn't believe it

They kept you from leaving the house and since Wooyoung was away for some time on a mission he didn't know

It was only when he got home that he found out that you hadn't returned, but he didn't think much of it because you were with your family

You on the other hand were panicking not only because you were being forced to stay away from Wooyoung but also because you just found out that you were pregnant

You had to get back to him no matter what

You refused to eat or talk to your family members, only demanding to meet Wooyoung

When he didn't get any message from you he began to get suspicious

He sent someone disguised as a delivery boy over to your house to check up on you and got word that you were sick and locked in your room

He got up and drove to your house in the middle of the night and broke through the front door. He didn't care who got in his way and pushed and punched whoever protested

He got to your room and demanded that you open it

You did and jumped at him, told him you were pregnant and they were keeping you from going back to him and cried

He took you in his arms and was taking you back with him

Your father threatened to call the police and Wooyoung simply said "say hi to chief inspector Jeon from me" leaving the father shocked

You were happy to be back with your lover and were excited about the baby, the same as Wooyoung

Jongho

Probably the strongest man in the whole mafia world

Everyone feared him

He didn't have to say twice for what he wanted because people had heard how he smashed someone's skull open with his bare fists

He had asked you to move in with him and you happily said yes

But when you told your family about your decision they asked you if you were crazy

You didn't listen to them and started packing

They weren't going to let you go to some barbarian

But you weren't listening so they had to do it the hard way

Deep down you were happy to leave because your family had always been abusive and toxic

When you were asked to leave with your suitcases your father grabbed you by your arm and shoved you against the wall

"you bitch, you really think you can disobey me?"

Your mother held you by your hair and slapped you so hard your nose started bleeding

They beat you severely and you had stopped screaming at this point

You thought you were going to die when they left you like this on the kitchen floor

You don't know what got into you but you got on your feet and ran out the front door where you were stopped by Jongho waiting for you beside his car

He saw you and gently pushed you aside and went straight inside the house

He came out after almost 20 minutes, blood splattered on his face and clothes

You were already in shock from the beating that you didn't question him

He got in the car with you, held your face in his hands and said "don't worry, I called an ambulance for them, they just might be okay"

With that your heart sank but you were too shaken to feel sad for them so you just cried

Jongho took you home

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

TW financial abuse, parental abuse, addiction, ableism looking for emotional support and validation mostly, advice or resources is okay but not fundamental my mom has emotionally and physically abused me my entire childhood and adulthood, but after sobering up 9 years ago it mostly took a turn to emotional abuse and ableism. Now, my mom has a new addiction that she refuses to get help to or to tell anyone, and she keeps manipulating and lovebombing me to give her money i'm disabled and living on a very tiny pension that barely holds me through, and she keeps on telling me that if she would be me, she wouldn't use money on "stupid stuff" and that she'd handle finances much better than me. She also tells me that she always pays me back so she doesn't see how her taking money from me every week is a problem even though my finances go haywire because of the stress that she'll ask for more. Everytime i have money now I feel like I have to use it immediately or I'll fall into her abuse and she's going to manipulate me into giving more. she also keeps an eye on the days i get paid my disability or if I get any money from relatives or from commissions and so on, and she keeps on trying to ask me what I use all of my money for so she can better calculate when and how much to ask for, and this is all crumbling my mental and physical health. I feel guilty because I cave in, I feel guilty because I can't handle my finances, and i feel ashamed whenever she tells me I'm bad with my money or that i should be afford to give her more last sunday when she asked for a big sum because of my disability paying me back 2 months worth they didn't pay, telling me that i'll have extra now, she told me i can say no. I did, and she straight up told me she will be in big trouble if I don't give in. I have never felt so humiliated and angry now that after years of obedience I finally countered the abuse and said no, only for it to fall through, and i feel like i'm that child again, and it's exhausting. She only gets affectionate when I give her something and I'm heartbroken, but mostly, I'm just angry, and it's a whole new emotion that is hard for me to deal with. I wish i didn't live in the same city with her. I love her but I also kinda hate her with my heart. - Comet

Hey Comet,

I'm so sorry you've been dealing with all of this. You deserve a home that is safe, comfortable, and where your needs are met. You deserve to be heard and supported, not abused, manipulated, and guilt-tripped. You are not responsible for her or her finances.

She has no right to tell you how to spend your money. I know it's really difficult to break out of these patterns, but it is possible. You have every right to refuse to give her money. No matter what she says or how she pressures you, try upholding your boundaries. Even if she does pay you back, you don't have to give her money.

It makes sense that you're feeling insecure about money and feel the need to spend it immediately or else she will manipulate it out of you. Be kind to yourself and don't judge yourself for this. She has no right to tell you how to spend your money or pass judgments on it.

Is it possible to hide your finances from her more? While you work on upholding your boundaries, it may help to start with refusing to tell her what you have coming in.

She is using your connection and love for her to manipulate you into giving her money. Try to remind yourself that her lovebombing is just manipulation and you can be strong. You have the power to say no and stick to it.

It's okay to be angry and have mixed feelings about this. It's okay to feel how you're feeling. I'm sure it hurts a lot to have her treat you this way. It's a complicated situation and I'm sorry you're being treated like this. I believe in you. You can break this pattern.

Here is a link written by a fellow mod about creating and enforcing boundaries. Here is a link on creating healthy boundaries. Here and here are posts about overcoming the shame when we set boundaries.

Take care.

- Misa

[morbid-n-macabre]

Have you watched the documentary "Goodnight Sugar Babe"? I apologise for the length of this post, but there's nothing I can cut out. I will link the documentary below.

Findlay, Ohio

March 26th of 2011-

24 year old Vera Jo Reigle was mentally slow, they say she had the mentality of an 8-12 year old child. She'd had a very troubled childhood, had been repeatedly abused, sexually, by both her biological father and mom's boyfriend. Of course this caused issues between she and her mother; when a 19 year old Vera met a boy, 13 year old Zachary Brooks, Vera was thrilled that his family took her into their fold. When Zachary's mother, Cheri Lynne Brooks, offered for Vera to move in, she jumped at the opportunity. Vera just couldn't see that these were terrible, evil people; they had been kind to her in the beginning, but they had ulterior motives.

So, first things first, let's get this out of the way. Cheri is the mother of 9; she lost her first 5 kids, one at a time, for blatant sexual abuse. Scottie (who is the product of consensual incest with Cheri's first cousin; he is mentally disabled), Michael, Maria, Joshua, and little Cheri were all taken away, one at a time, while they were young. Maria was only removed from the home after she was raped, she was one year old at the time; Little Cheri was thankfully spared her abuse as she was taken at birth. A few of the children who were taken did make their way back to Cheri when they were a bit older. For some reason, even though the first 5 were taken, the next 4 children were left in their mother's custody: Kevin AKA "Punky", Zachary, Garth, and Chuckie. Kevin Brooks Sr. is Cheri's husband and the father of most of Cheri's offspring.

The Brooks family is a well known crime family, their leader being mama Cheri, AKA Sugar Babe- a woman often rightfully compared to Charles Manson. Though Cheri looks harmless, she is disabled and in a wheelchair, do not allow that to fool you! This woman is a baby rapist, a sadist, a criminal, a sociopath, and a master manipulator who has proved again and again that she can convince people to do her dirty work at will. Cheri was sexually abused by her father, big Chuck, beginning when she was merely a toddler. Eventually she was taken away, and placed in the system, but she continued this sexual relationship with her father even after she married Kevin Brooks. When she began having children of her own, the abused became the abuser- the cycle continued, Cheri sexually abused them. Family and neighbors witnessed this, and DCF was called multiple times; it's difficult to understand why all of this deviant's children were not taken from her at once, authorities only took one baby at a time. The others were left in Cheri's custody until there was another complaint, and another, and so on. Since her own children were constantly being taken, Cheri began finding other women to give birth to babies for her; when her children were a little older, Cheri accomplished this by talking her teenaged son's various young girlfriends into getting pregnant. Cheri always hoped for little girls, though it's well known that she had no problem sexually abusing little boys.

It shouldn't be a surprise that the children raised by this pervert grew to become criminals and gang members; they all claim to be members of the Crips, there are even photos of the wheelchair bound older woman throwing up gang signs. Her son, Punky, was known to have been the town's leader of the Crips. Punky was very much feared in this town, until August 5th of 2010 when the 19 year old lost his life in a tragic accident. He and his girlfriend, Heather, had been walking down the road, on their way to score some heroin, when a vehicle slammed into Punky. Investigators determined that this was an accidental death; Cheri never could accept this, she needed vengeance. She told everyone that Punky's girlfriend, Heather, had been responsible for his murder; according to Cheri, Punky had been pushed in front of that vehicle by his girlfriend. This was a lie, of course, but Cheri made sure that the girlfriend paid the price; she asked one of Punky's friends to "beat the hell" out of Heather; Cheri sat and watched the fight. After Punky's death, Zachary took his brother's place as the town gang's new leader of the Crips.

With Vera living at the Brooks house, her disability check was cashed by Cheri each month. Most of the people living at the Brooks home were on disability, it's how the family supported itself; welfare, disability checks, and criminal activity such as the selling of drugs. Soon Cheri began telling Vera her that she expected a baby from her. Vera wanted to make people happy, she obliged; this is when everything began to go down hill. Vera was no longer a girlfriend or a daughter in law; instead she was treated as the family slave, the walking uterus which housed the baby girl which Cheri so desperately wanted. Cheri claimed the infant as her own before it was even born, she even controlled the baby's date of birth! She was adamant that baby Willadean would be born on her own birthday, and Vera was forced to drink multiple bottles of castor oil to bring about early labor- 3 full bottles! Willadean was born on the day after Cheri's birthday, November 4th, more than a month early. Due to her early forced delivery, Baby Willadeen was not well enough to come home at birth, she had heart issues. The baby spent her first weeks of life hooked up to machines in NICU.

Vera dearly loved her daughter and there's little doubt that she'd have been the best mama possible had she been given the opportunity. Baby Willadean was taken from Vera by Cheri; very rarely was Vera even allowed to touch her daughter. If she did touch Willadeen, Zachary or Cheri would savagely beat her. Instead of tending to her motherly duties, Vera's days were spent cleaning the house, or on her knees while rubbing Cheri's feet; this was said to be her "job". She was secluded from anyone outside the family, not even allowed to speak to her own beloved sister. Vera attempted more than once to take her baby and leave, but Cheri wouldn't allow it. Someone was always watching, the baby slept in Cheri's room, and Cheri promised that if Vera ever did leave she'd murder baby Willadean, slash her throat. Vera had no reason to believe this an empty threat, so she stayed and endured the abuse. The more time went by, the worse she was treated. Vera was now the family's whipping girl; Cheri told people that she thought that Vera looked cute with her black eyes, like a little squirrel or a raccoon. Vera was forced to sleep in a closet with a pig; witnesses recount that she was even forced to eat the pig's feces as punishment! On another occasion Vera was beaten because she ate a KitKat bar which belonged to the deceased Punky; by eating the chocolate Vera had intentionally disrespected the dead man. Then there was the mace incident: someone set off a canister of pepper spray in an upstairs bedroom; Vera took the blame for this as well.

The mace story is particularly important because, at the time, Cheri had been trying to talk her son Michael's girlfriend, Shannon, into getting pregnant. There's proof that Shannon was telling people she was pregnant, though she now denies it, there are screen shots proving this. Since Shannon was lying about the pregnancy, she claimed that the fumes from the pepper spray brought on a miscarriage; Vera had caused the death of Shannon's imaginary baby, and Shannon told multiple people she wanted Vera dead for this. Everything and anything which ever went wrong with this family, it was all blamed on Vera.

Police and family services were called on Vera's behalf many, many times; these agencies knew exactly what was going on, they'd been inside this house of horrors! They were fully aware of the conditions in which baby Willadean had been living in, they knew exactly how filthy the home was. They were aware that Cheri didn't even bother using a toilet, she simply urinated in a bucket kept in reach of the toddler! They knew there were actual pigs living inside the home going to the bathroom all over the place! They knew that multiple children had been taken from the home due to Cheri's compulsive sexual abuse, and that baby Willadean shared a bedroom with Cheri! They were aware that Vera was catching beatings on the regular; when police or dcf came to question Vera on the way she was being treated, she was always questioned right there in front of Cheri! Vera was afraid to tell the truth; she was instructed to say that she had fallen down the stairs, or to give some other lame excuse which anyone with an ounce of sense could've seen straight through! During one of Vera's frequent hospital visits, this particular time for a broken nose given to her by Zachary, Vera was forced to say that a "black boyfriend" from the next town over was to blame. But anyone remotely familiar with the situation knew that there had been no other boyfriend, Vera was never permitted to have contact with anyone outside the home!

Now that the baby was born, Vera was a burden. Zachary didn't love her, he probably never did and he wanted to date other girls now. But there was a problem: if Vera were to leave the home, they knew that the young mother could easily gain custody of Willadean and that just couldn't happen. So, Cheri and her extended family began to openly plan Vera's demise. The family debated different scenarios such as overdosing Vera on drugs then leaving her on the railroad tracks for the train to hit her. Cheri had seen a corpse which had been hit by a train before, and she said that the victim's face resembled "hamburger meat". She said that was what needed to be done with Vera.

Daniel Bixler was a cousin who had only been out of prison for 3 weeks at this time, he'd just finished serving a 3 year prison sentence. Cheri was pretty close to Danny, considering his father was the first cousin with whom she'd had that incestuous relationship with; technically Danny and Cheri's son Scottie are half brothers, and their father is in prison for attempting to murder Danny's mom. So, Danny was already a self professed killer, he even had a teardrop tattoo on his face. He and his new girlfriend, 17 year old Nicole Peters, had been staying at the Brooks home in recent weeks. Nicole was curious about what it would feel like to kill someone, and she wanted a teardrop tattoo to match her boyfriend's. Cheri had struck gold, these two were perfect for solving her Vera problem. She told them that it hadn't been Punky's girlfriend who had been walking with the gang leader on the night of his unfortunate death; it had been Vera! Vera was the one who had pushed Punky! Then Vera disrespected her victim by eating his candy bar, and she'd sprayed mace which forced Shannon to miscarry, and Vera abused baby Willadean when no one was looking! Vera needed to die for all that she'd done! Danny and Nicole readily agreed to do Cheri's dirty work.

4 days before Vera was murdered, the worst of the torture began; she was beaten intermittently throughout those days. One of Cheri's sons, Chuckie, tied a padlock to the end a of belt and the family took turns just beating the hell out of poor Vera with this homemade weapon; a paddle was also used, and Vera's head was stomped. Witnesses, including Cheri, have stated that this sort of thing turned Nicole on, sexually. She and her boyfriend would take breaks from the beatings, go lock themselves in a bedroom for a while, then they would come back out and beat on Vera some more. The beatings occurred in Cheri's bedroom, and she was egging Nicole and Danny on the whole time: "Hit her again Nicole! Vera is a whore, Nicole, she wants to sleep with Danny! Hit her again". Considering baby Willadean slept in Cheri's room at night, you know that poor baby was present throughout it all; you gotta wonder how much of her mother's torture 18 month old Willadeen witnessed.

After nightfall on March 26th of 2011, Zachary, Danny, and Nicole demanded that Vera put her shoes on, they were going for a walk. Witnesses who were present that night say that they believe Vera knew she was going to be murdered, she didn't want to go but eventually she did as she was told. They walked to the railroad tracks near the family home, and when they arrived at the predetermined spot, they began to stab Vera with a kitchen knife. The weapon was so dull that it would barely even penetrate Vera's skin, so they forced this poor woman to strip naked- you know, so they didn't have to work so hard at killing her. Vera was stabbed repeatedly and when they thought she was close enough to death, they laid her sideways on the tracks, and left her alone in frigid temperatures to die. After leaving the scene of the crime they threw their murder weapon into a local body of water. The killers knew that a train would be coming around 2 am; they assumed that if Vera was hit by the train, she'd look like "hamburger meat". This would render Vera unidentifiable and they believed that much of the evidence would be lost. Poor Vera, after she was left alone that night she used the very last bit of strength she had to remove herself from the rails; she curled up in a fetal position in the middle of the tracks and died.

When the 2 am train came through, it did pass over Vera's deceased body. The train conductor spotted the body immediately, and he called the police. Amazingly the train did not hit her; Vera's body stood exactly 12 inches off the ground- the train's clearance was 13 inches! The victim was not turned into hamburger meat, as intended; she was identifiable, and the evidence had not been destroyed. Matter of fact, a person who had recently dealt with Vera after a beating yet had done nothing to help just weeks before was the one who identified her corpse.

Autopsy proved that Vera had been stabbed 21 times, her throat had been slashed from ear to ear, and that nearly every bone in this poor woman's face had been broken from that beating she'd received just before her death. She'd been tortured.

Police went to the Brooks home to question the family; again, while the police removed everyone from the home so they could interview the family members one by one, Cheri was allowed to be present throughout it all. It's evident that everyone, literally everyone is terrified of this woman to this very day. Cheri originally tried to blame the murder on someone outside the family, said that Vera's boyfriend must've killed her, but Vera's only boyfriend was Zachary! Police found evidence inside the home such as Nicole's bloody sweatshirt, the paddle, and the belt and lock Vera had been beaten with. Police arrested Danny and Nicole, who confessed; they stated that they'd been given drugs by Cheri, and talked into killing Vera. Cheri even told them how to do it!

Both Danny and Nicole took plea deals; Danny was sentenced to 40 years to life for Vera's death, and Nicole received 23 years for a conspiracy charge. Not murder, but conspiracy; somehow Nicole was the only one who received that charge! How does that happen? Did she conspire with herself? The father of Vera's baby, Zachary, was sentenced to 4 years in prison for obstruction of justice. It doesn't matter that there's security footage, actual video proof that Zachary walked with Danny, Nicole, and Vera to the train tracks that night, it doesn't matter that he was present and likely actively helped stab Vera to death, he was merely prosecuted for obstruction. Cheri's husband, Kevin Brooks Sr. and another of her sons were charged with selling prescription drugs. In 2014 Cheri spent 10 days in jail for inappropriate contract with an unrelated minor, just ten days. As far as Vera's murder, Cheri the ringleader was only charged with obstruction and drug trafficking; in 2015 she was sentenced to 40 months. Cheri was freed earlier this year, and if what I'm hearing has any truth to it, another of her son's baby daughters is currently living with her!

This is the justice Vera Jo Reigle received for her torturous murder. The only good thing about any of this is that baby Willadean was taken away from the Brooks family and adopted out. Cheri threw a huge fit over that; she claimed she had custody of the child.

Vera has been laid to rest in Knollcrest Cemetery; she's recently received a beautiful new headstone which reads "Vera Jo Messersmith". This is a big deal as Vera always hated the last name of Reigle, since her father had sexually abused her.

*This is the most confusing case EVER. I tried my very best to keep names and details straight, and it's taken me more than a week to write this. If I got a name or some other detail wrong, forgive me. Personally I'm just glad to be done with it, I've cried, like ugly cried multiple times over this case. Vera's abusers, her killers are mostly still at large. The woman who planned her murder, a known pedophile, is still out there! Look her up on Facebook, Cheri Lynne Brooks! She even frequents fb pages where Vera is honored! Those interviewed in the documentary admit that they are afraid of this woman, and they all admit that this murder was openly planned. I can't understand why she's not been charged with conspiracy at the very least, or why she's still permitted to have contact with children! And why have the other players not been charged? It seems a dozen different people participated in the abuse, knew of the plan to murder this young mother yet nothing was done! Are the police, the DA, all of those organizations, are they afraid of Cheri too?

* If you haven't seen the doc "GOODNIGHT SUGAR BABE" it is available on Amazon Prime or, here's a link. Tell me what you think.

Goodnight Sugar Babe:

https://youtu.be/eJEAJAE1kZ0

[monstersw1thv1bes]

Sources:

+ i looked on the national library of medicine but i can't find the link now.

I also used this website, but it isn't in english:

People telling me I'm being "ableist" when all I'm saying is "hey, these are the symptoms of NPD according to the DSM-5 and if someone treats you that way, that is abuse" are either young and have never been in a proper, long lasting relationship where you think you're genuinely going to spend your entire life with this person, or only support people with NPD in theory but would crumble if they were actually treated like a narcissists black sheep.

Personally I endured a relationship with my ex for a long time because I thought the way she treated me was her autism (she was not diagnosed with NPD until after I stopped talking to her, I had to hear about it from a mutual friend who also dropped her after I was gone and they became the black sheep) and I was convinced if I didn't try to work through these problems, that I was being ableist. Fuck that. Abuse is abuse no matter the reason.

I was manipulated into thinking I was being childish when I tried to talk about my boundaries. I was manipulated into taking care of the entire house. I couldn't say no to sex because I believed she simply wouldn't stop, just as she didn't stop when I told her not to bite me. I was also coerced into sex when I told her ahead of time I didn't feel like it. I was made to seem like an evil, ungrateful bitch to all my friends because my ex made it seem like she was taking care of me and she just wanted some peace in return (at the end of it we rarely ever spoke. i was basically her maid) when I took care of the cat, cleaned, cooked, did (and paid for) groceries, wasn't allowed to go outside and got yelled at when all I wanted was a damn hug. She'd walk around the house naked when I told her I was uncomfortable or when my family was about to come over any minute, she made me lie to everyone and say my bruises were lovebites (i still think that in her fucked up mind, they were), she'd vent at me about all of her problems including a child accusing her of grooming(!!!) and then get mad at me when I stopped smiling because I was having a bad day. I once tried to tell her I was unhappy in our relationship and she told me I always acted only out of emotion and she saw things far more clearly than I did, then basically went on to invalidate everything I was feeling until therr was nothing else I could say.

That is not even to mention how she forced me to be someone I wasn't. She changed my name, chose my pronouns and told me how I could and couldn't dress. And those are just the basics of how she made me act like a person I wasn't.

I had to move out, then go back to my own country on the other side of the world and announce I was working on my mental health, and then she ghosted me. But at that point I was so deep in it that I didn't even want her out of my life. I truly thought if I just fixed myself and I became a better person, that we'd go back to how things were and I'd actually be happy.

And then she got diagnosed with NPD. And then she slowly lost all her friends because she kept replacing one black sheep with the next. Goodbye flying fucking monkeys. It's come to a point where I've had to block all of our previously mutual friends because they kept contacting me for my side of the story, because at the time of our relationship my ex had made them believe I was somehow the abusive one.

And you know what? I honestly think she believes it, too. I honestly think she's wondering right now why everyone leaves her. She sure blamed her ex for leaving her to my face at the time. She was never the problem when someone was mad at her. It was always the other person misunderstanding her intentions, or blaming her for no reason, or being tok childish/immature/weak to deal with her personality. She groomed a fucking child and still believed she was thr victim when that child got a lawyer involved.

It doesn't matter if someone doesn't mean to emotionally abuse you and it doesn't matter if their behaviour has a reason. It. is. still. abuse.

it's so weird bc like. my ex considered herself the female wilbur soot (i was introduced to wilbur through her). and she lovebombed me the first month of our relationship. she consistently continued to have sex with me when i said no or even instigated after i'd already told her not today. she bit me painfully to the point of bruising. is it a narcissist thing? or is it just that she was so obsessed with him that she got into his brain and shared all his traits?

[nova9]

Taiyuu application !!!!

Name: Aimi Otsuka

DOB: 10-28 | Scorpio (not exact)

Height: 5 ft

Weight: 230 lbs. (She's much heavier than she looks because of her bone structure!)

Quirk: Blade Body

| Allows the user to produce and manipulate blades from under the skin.

+ She can make lots of knives LOTS of em’. the only limit is the amount of iron she has in her blood. She can increase this with supplements, as long as she has them its a non-issue. 

+ She can control it to the point of being able to make her blades blunt (for practice or nonlethal combat), Sharp (lethal combat, dire situations), serrated (for cutting threw things easier, usually in rescue or escape situations) 

+very versatile makes getting around in battle easier that you might expect.

+She can conduct some electric-based quirks. her bones are made of the same steel-like material that her blades are allowing currents to flow threw her and be dispersed to the ground or another person/ object as long as she's touching it.

- Close range combat only. The blades cant (or shouldn't be) removed from her body. They are technically body parts, while they don't have nerves she will definitely feel it if one breaks or is otherwise detached (Think fingernails the nails themselves don't have nerves but do they hurt like hell when one gets messed up.)

-Just because she can conduct electricity doesn't mean she should! It damages body tissue as much as it would for the intended target if shes not properly grounded.

-Extremely weak to magnetic attacks, shes pretty much metal as far as her skeletal structure is concerned.

Stats:

Power: 3/5 Speed: 4/5 Technique: 4/5 Intelligence: 3/5 Cooperativeness: 2/5

Personality:

+ Brave

+ Loyal

+ Hardworking

- Hard-headed

- Short-tempered

- Impulsive

Background: 

Aimi was found abandoned by her father less than 24 hours after she was born. Her mom and dad the people who raised her didn't think twice about bringing her into their home, they were recently informed that they wouldn't be allowed to have children of their own and wanted that chance. 

Her life was a relatively quiet one, her parents owned a bakery in a small village and while she’d been raised to work hard and earn what you want she didn't go without much as long as her parents could help it. 

Before her quirk manifested at age 6, her parents were convinced that she’d have a physical quirk made for heavy lifting because of the fact that her whole life she’d weighed twice what a normal child her age was supposed to, despite not being visibly overweight. 

As soon as her quirk manifested her parents were horrified in the worried parent way but instead of having her try and avoid using it they paid for lessons with their savings. It set them back quite a bit but to make sure their daughter was safe was their number one concern!

She received top marks in her small class of middle school peers, not saying much because she came from a small farming community but it still made her parents proud. 

On her next journey, Aimi wants to become the next big pro hero so she can one day support her parents the way they’ve supported her! 

Thanks for reading this i hope it isn't too horrible lol, i suck at editing stuff @taiyuu-high-oct​

[janadaniel4grassroots]

THE DIRTIEST DATA

TARGET FOR TORTURE

A TRUE ACCOUNT OF

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM

September 2020

Contributor: Jana Daniel

Grassroots Guardians of Truth

UPROOT a DV Movement

The goal was to torture me through my own account that way no trace.. I did it to myself because I'm insane. Covert ops in a time where technology is impressive but vulnerable to data corruptions and lack of understanding especially in the legal arena where a firm understanding is needed the most. I was researching and running pilot programs to discover ways to truly keep women who make it out safe without cutting them off from society. This experience has proven that I'm a textbook case with tenure. Everything happens for a reason and my advocacy and philanthropy pursuits are far from over. The following is a percent of what occured and what I saw, technology throughputs allowed manipulative imagery and allowed changes to text photos before sent. The need is abundant whether we are ready or not.

Amazing what a year can do. I've learned an excessive amount of information now that I've acclimated to the happenings. By now, everyone has heard of predictive text and I'm sure it comes in handy. However, my experience was quite different. The global keyboard uploaded without my prompt, by a second individual who accessed my account on a seperate device and through the Google Play Store selected and downloaded the app. As my phone updated around 3 am the keyboard app uploaded and would change automatically while typing. I write a lot, so this became problematic and prevented me from continuing my endeavors until a solution is found. It would be another 7 months little did I know, before my life was my own again. A virtual kidnapping essentially the best way to describe this systematic, continual abuse and crime against a person. It's killing me faster than the physical abuse because I couldn't identify the perpetrators.

Deep-thinking and clear understanding of what is occuring and where protections and oversight will be needed. Automated decision making isn't a human function and nor what we're accustomed to. In less than a year due to the reality that someone or something is communicating data to me, i began to rely on the predictive guideline set before me just as an officer would be able to predictively policy enforce. But that in fact is exactly the point, there is a violation of human, civil, and individual rights to not be infringed upon. For my own pursuits in life I try to maintain a secure system and in doing so through my ordinary course of business I conduct certain procedures. One being, data mining, another being continued education, pilot programs when available, etc. I had experienced a different breach around December and I began seeking the identity of the criminal.

Initially, unsupervised or monitored only, (permission not given for either) coded script played out on my screen. After I reported, the game changed. Suddenly, an advasarial context is all that I'm receiving and I'm suddenly the victim of targeted surveillance that I'm very well aware of. Let's face it, you normally wouldn't know that you are being placed under surveillance. I now know that this in fact was, an example of Deep learning of general advasarial Neuro network a GAN with a generator and a discriminator being put against each other. Understanding that what your brain fires on it wires on as well. They fed the deepfake scenarios to me each with enough truth or probability that I had no choice but to seek the remaining info that they failed to disclose and that is described as (mask) words. It took a lot of time initially but I became more efficient as I continued to learn.

As protected individuals by order of a domestic violence protective order, to have the Thomas Co Sheriff Dept. And the Pelham PD testing my ability to decipher the information, realizing that I see what is happening and being further disrespected and even asked to park and contact an ambulance to let them know that I need help finding the right person, who at the time someone was insinuating that my deceased father was alive. The cops didn't even investigate.. couldn't get more obvious they violated my constitutional rights and mine and my children's rights as victims of DV. My children, by the way, utilize the phone as well, the constant changes to the screen and location of the apps was noticed first by my son. No matter what I did they had control of the content in the phone. Using face recognition to identify if I'm telling the truth and constantly surveilling me. My vehicle too, equiped to note my every move. Taunted by my home devices such as the ring light that would switch off when I needed the lights on. I haven't had moment's peace since the leave. I'm to blame according to the Sheriff Dept. Odd doesn't seem reasonable but okay, I have to use the healing process to investigate.

I wish I could say that is where it ended, far from it actually. Social engineered to stop trusting in everything, creating discord with people I'd just began to connect with after years of isolation. Then in state of grieving the loss only father, vulnerabilities exploited, cognitive dissonance attempted to create an unstable demeanor because who could possibly explain that cards- Google search pages- are leading to videos that contain AI image alterations so that what you see is familiar. Someone was available twenty four hours a day and when I wasn't seeking the information, someone was threatening me predictively and also implemented sounds that at first I didn't distinguish as just sounds. This would occur throughout the night sometimes. I honestly believed that we were in danger. I fell from the healthy state that I had just had a glimpse of into a sickened, deregulated state that would continue for months. Words uncommonly used by myself such as Tactically, vie, omniscient, etc. would flash and storyline would clearly be laid before me. Other tactics were used such as Fuzzing, quasi-imperceptible, emotional extortion at it's finest. It will be blamed on AI technology, but they failed to understand the identifying bits of info that I detected and categorized chronologically and per device or paper that they derived from.

I will be blamed for not seeing my children who were removed due to DV. I'll take the blame because it was a decision I was able to make due to the fact that I was being encouraged to have all four of the children together in order to get the money. Seemed like a ploy so I went alone to Rundown the people who had become increasingly more than I expected. Conspirators, bribe takers, and there's us… Collateral damage. It seemed to have turned into a game where death was the intent. I held on because I knew that someone has been made aware and I had reported to different agencies and to my trusted friends. Time lingered, and three months became six and suddenly they were threatening to arrest someone else. Realizing that they've violated our rights and worked diligently to destroy the security that I had worked so hard to establish after escaping DV with the belongings in my vehicle. They still were far from done. I had been forced to live without AC and the plumbing problematic after an attempted repair by the landlord left my room flooded. The Corona Pandemic began the same time, also the first and last time that my spouse had paid child support. After three months, they came to collect the rent. It now June, I demanded the air be fixed to no avail. I then had all repairs done myself. I spoke with him expecting a negotiation and then received an eviction notice. Upon filing a response and counterclaim, I was ordered an extra month rent above the amount petitioned for… I received no credit for the repairs that I had just had made, and I had seven days to vacate. I did not mention that the entire three months of No child support, no AC, no response from the landlord, that I had been receiving predictive context stating… “We built a prison just for you” forced to sleep with our windows open, remain outside during the day.. in a matter of no time, our happy home had become our misery. I offered the landlord the full judgement amount cash in hand, he denied to take it , he said he prefered that I move out. I didn't get my appeal in because I had confirmed that our family land has been sold under the premise of an invalid will and just as ten years before, heritage stolen from us all. Seven days came quickly and I didn't have but one who I still trusted at that point. I was granted a couple days and demeaned in the process. On that last day I left with my children who were unaware that we no longer has a home. We hadn't enjoyed any of the summer so I took my children on what they knew as a vacation. I was a nervous wreck managing them and their little hands, don't touch, don't breath, the virus! As I searched for options within my budget and tried to predict the next time that he networks and deprives. I decided that I will use the land that I own and homestead. No one can ever put us in that situation again. Now how can I make this work? I haven't built the house yet due to the lengthy divorce and the other intentionally created variables. Without revealing everything, I made it work and the house will be built soon.

After all of that, if it were a LAN network and the neighborhood and city were to blame then it's over… The worst has yet to come. My lawyer dropped the ball, so there was no contempt hearing, meaning no support from the abusive spouse. The final divorce scheduled for Monday August 24th. On Thursday prior, I advised my attorney that I wasn't a lamb being led to slaughter and neither are my children. I am not impressed with her demeanor seemingly in defense of the opposing side and reiterated that she needs to advise me of what the correspondence is rather than knowing everything they're saying and leaving me in the dark. She said that was mailing a check for $1500 of the $5k he owes. I explained how I intended on explaining everything to the judge with physical example of two clean devices in which he could type a sentence structure and I across the room could in fact with acceptable accuracy through mining relay his message… I was placed on hold, then she was going to return my call. I received an email the next day stating the hearing had been cancelled. I guess I was close enough to cause cleanup on DiVorce-20. I couldn't make up the incompetcy if I tried… it's been over a year and she let my protective order expire when she let the scheduling fail the kids and I. She's knowingly prolonged everything working an agenda.

Meanwhile, I'm mining data, and see threatening communications about my mother being the price that I will pay. For two days and there was even a signature of 4umud:\3 I had seen threatening messages all the while through, they wanted me to harm myself, so I didn't realize the gravity of the situation until the morning of August 27th, when they told me she had passed away. I am trying to hold it together, my heart is broken into pieces. In the last year and a half I lost my father, escaped DV so I thought, pandemic, bought a household full of furniture, got evicted after being tormented, burned most if the furniture that I had bought just a year ago, and then have to accept my mother's passing after being told of it prior to. How? I write sometimes into the night… Only to wake up and see everything has been deleted or modified to look like jibberish.

The plan was to make me appear alone and unstable. Then with a signature they could get the rest of what I have. The Underwoods made everyone think that I had a big check, that's so they would attack me and funny how I said to him.. your plan isn't going to work… He said they have a new one and the two days before my mom died he didn't call.. he has and did call every single day but those two days. So no, I don't believe that anyone has been here to help there is no reason that I could. The full story would take forever to explain a hundred different things … Deep learning of how sick these people are. That statement is inclusive of some judges, some lawyers, some landowner, some banker, some ex's, some banker, and some evils.

Regarding the factual basis for my findings… an advasarial context targeted at DV Victim and At some point to gain a new level of trust an observer weighed in - ALL CAPS- it appeared to be but this is stalking and Harassment using the same protocol as a guideline. Being that I worked for the Baldwin's and the quantity of equipment, servers, and technology couples with security… I'd say that BYOD could have easily attached to any device that I've had especially if someone made the mistake of hacking the email that I had as a corporate address. Quasi-imperceptible as everything in convulsion is nearly impossible to figure out. Casual reasoning nearly out the window now that I've used the Ai tech inappropriately due to the advasarial context intended to disrupt and destabilize.

Disquis was an app that he or someone loaded to my account and I did go back and test most of the apps I saw because I needed to know what info was obtained and how to prevent in the future. Red team, that's me. ResGN to reinforce the learning and GPT-2 is quickly being replaced by GPT-3 a natural language system that whether forward or back will remember the context of the usage of the specific word. Cryptography circles implemented initially to create a trustless environment. Deepfake tech that I've lived for ten years without the fancy assigned label's. Ultimately the same as always… Doubt your reality and make sure everyone doubts your capabilities because how else can they suck the soul out if you. If you see me and don't recognize me… Know it's because he is wearing my reflection… If I take it back he is the one who looks like an empty shell. I am not empty.. I have a flicker.

I hope this helps you understand that I'm capable of handling the delivery of proof and facts that will assist others to understand that this is a very sophisticated form of technology and weaponry all the same when abused and causes one to harm another or one to harm themselves then I'd say the prosecution rate will increase significantly. Once recognized for the heinous malfunctioned personality that takes the time and devotion to harm another in such a way that is worth what I just endured teaching myself because the law and legal representation failed to do anything to help ... Oh except drop the contempt, postpone the final, and my protective order expired too.

"If you really have to do something ... Go alone!" generations of wisdom... William Kirby Daniel

[mynarcissticex]

This has been one of the most difficult last 5 months of my life.. but I think I am finally ready to put it all to bed for my own sanity.

July 20th 2019… was meant to be the happiest day of my life. The day I moved in with my best friend, soulmate, my person. I wanted to wake up giddy and nervous, excited to be with the man I fought hard for last year . I yearned to be swept off my feet by him and begin a new adventure together I was ready despite keeping my past a secret and having to self protect myself (for my own personal reasons)

But none of that happened how it should of done, Just like thought it probably wouldn't 3 years ago, The man I had fallen in love with at the beginning was not the man I always thought he was, And it has shaken my character to its very core coming to that realisation, The life I so desperately wanted to live with him was never going to exist. Our relationship would not be peaceful, supportive, mutual, and loving and it took 4 years for me to realize that this man was not right for me either, I knew he had issues but not the extent he showed me last year... I even gave him a second chance after he broke my heart. I invested in him more than I have ever ever invested in anyone and I made some piss poor decisions that I will regret ultimately for the rest of my life. I’ve always done things out of love for him or not at all.

I chose Matt out of the pick of men I could of easily of dated but life wanted to punish me by giving me another narcissist... and in the beginning he made me feel special (lovebombing) when he felt like it, but he did not make me feel valued. When I first took notice of him, I was 27 and completely infatuated. For months, I believed nothing would come of it I thought he would end up being just like my ex, on June 20th 2014 we went on our first date and I was smitten. I felt like I had been picked out of the crowd, I was the lucky winner of a long sought-after prize. And when red flags began to appear, I willfully ignored all of them. Verbal abuse began a month into dating . I had just moved house and was going through a difficult time and dealt with it alone, he told me he hated the long-distance but made the effort to travel to see me once a week Twice if I was lucky, I would clean up after him and buy our food and cook and pay for most things because he had little money I didn’t really care as I was just happy in his company at the time he was like a happy pill to me, I would Make so much effort compared to Matt our relationship felt one sided... He would become very angry if I forgot little things, so I tried my best to do everything to his specifications. I wanted to prove how serious I was and looking back he did very little not even the basic of things even a cuddle was a chore to him!

He wanted to know alot who I was hanging out with and where I was at all times If I did not answer my phone or texts sometimes he would immediately interrogate me. He was paranoid and I was never unfaithful to him, He would become greatly upset sometimes if I chose to see my family for a night rather than be with him. Sometimes he would come round to my House after not seeing him for a week or two... and I would be thrown in a panic over what mood he might be in or to make sure I cook us lavish meals, I was constantly made to feel I was not doing enough. When it was him that wasn't doing anything at all he was just bone idle. At the time, I saw it all as a sacrifice for a man that I desperately loved and wanted to prove my loyalty to him, I was going through the worst too at the time and hid it and brushed it under the rug in fear of speaking up I thought you’d never care or understand what I’m going through and he was very insecure and extremely difficult to communicate with and more often than not would take offence or get angry if I spoke to him about anything or he just would sit in silence, I was already separated from my ex husband 4 years prior to meeting Matt, I was living with my ex husband but in separate rooms and we had complete separate lives he didn’t always care what I did neither did I we just lived in the same house for financial reasons.

Slowly, I became more and more isolated in Romford and even where I’m at now, And had also lost myself along the way. I became so caught up in pleasing Matt, that I lessened my own wants and desires. His hold on me was even tighter. I spent alot of times paying for hotels in the past so we could spend more time together I was hoping he would be happier that he had more time with me, but it still was not enough for him it was like trying to fill a bucket with holes.

But I was still crumbling on the inside. In 2015 I started hitting the wine excessively everytime he came to visit me I used to fear the sound of his bike pull up on my drive I used to think what mood is he going to be in today how many eggshells do I need to tread on around him... sometimes instead of greeting me at the door with a kiss or a hug he would straight away smirk at me and berate me for the dry skin on my nose (he did this often), often arguing with me over trivial things until I broke down in tears on many occasions I knew there was something wrong with Matt when he happily watched me cry inconsolably over something he had done and he didn't even flinch or attempt to apologise until the damage was already done, I stayed in my quiet demeanor a lot I was already living in a situation I felt like I couldn't talk to a soul about I felt trapped... My life seemed so perfect on the outside, but inside the depression was beginning to consume me slowly chipping away at me and so was Matt. I tried leaving him several times in 5 years but somehow he always had a way of manipulating me back in.

There was no say in my own life anymore. If we had any fun (rarely) it was on his terms. I was walking a very narrow line with no room for deviation. As some would say, it was his way or the highway.

He would criticise me for most things, and didn't care about my feelings in anything it was all about him and his needs... Talking to him was often like trying to nail jelly to the wall! I ended up keeping things from him that I was currently going through in fear of how he would react, he regularly got angry if I had the audacity to stand up for myself to him he hated being told anything he didn't want to hear or if I didn’t give in... he would kick off like a child having a tantrum and sometimes he would break items of mine. And accuse me of provoking him when all I was doing was trying to find out why he was in a bad mood for no reason I wanted to connect with him and just have a good time together but he made that almost impossible and instead carefully twisted it around to be my fault. I just drank wine all day sometimes to block it out until I fell asleep.

Without getting into the all the details, a particular fight had gone too far 3 months into living together I had told him over dinner that I can’t keep helping him with the bills we agreed after I paid 16k upfront in rent to live here and that the utility bills were his responsibility... as I’d already invested 51k into him I had literally spent half of my life savings after giving him another chance last year I did everything I could for Matt but it was never enough he showed little to no appreciation he just wanted a constant supply of everything from me. the darkness I felt this time was more than I could bare. I wanted to end it and that’s when I realised after everything I went through with my ex on a similar level I couldn’t put myself through another year of it, I fought long and hard to get out of my previous relationship and thanks to my dads help last June I felt like what was supposed to be my clean break turned into a living nightmare infact worse if I had stayed with my, I had spent 4 years being told and feeling like I wasn’t good enough by Matt and I came to believe that I never would be for him. He dehumanised me so much to this point often subtly about various things I felt worthless to him.

I deep down loved Matt for the good hearted person he tried to be, but he had this side to him that outweighed the good and last feb when he out of the blue left me for another woman 2 days after we broke up which took me weeks to find out it destroyed me and I wish I took that as my blessing instead when he came crawling and grovelling back to me the day she broke up with him (which I didn’t know at the time) I fell hook line and sinker for his fake remorse and empathy because I thought it was sincere but it was all part of his game plan to get the debt we got into paid off and his 14k tmax I promised him in 2018 when we were happy together. Not only did he still get all of that from me after what he did he was able to live life at my expense for 5 months after and I used to just comply to keep the peace there was nothing I wouldn’t of done for Matt because I was drunk in love and kept on creating this version in my head of who he might become after I changed my entire life around for us. And this is why I knew not to do it 3 years ago even if I could of done. The day I came clean to him about being married and separated (which had no relevance to anyone but myself) but if you’re with a narcissist and you hit them with a truth they hate it because it blows their fake world apart... the 10th nov 2019 5 months after living together was really the day I clearly woke the fuck up and said to myself despite my past or my mistakes I know I deserve more than this man who brings nothing to my table but emotional abuse and misery. I’ve been through too much to this point to put myself through it again and I had to draw the line before he rinsed me out of more money because he couldn't be responsible for his part in anything he would prioritise supplies of cannabis and hair supplements over paying the gas and electric bill and I had no idea how much he was earning at work because he was so private about everything. I felt like I was being under Coercive control all over again.

And this is where it all starts to make sense. In October I paid to see a professional to seek some advice from a top psychiatrist to get a diagnosis on behalf of matt after reading out a list of things describing how he acted 24/7 and how he spoke to me about anything even when he was angry. after 1 hour she told me Matt is likely Under cluster a,b,c and made me do a personality test on his behavioural traits and it just naturally clicked in that moment it dawned on me what I was dealing with I never healed the cause of why I chose the 1st narc and then you get hurt worse by the 2nd narc and get told it’s a result of being abused by your biological father. you just feel broken by all the people everywhere and end up remaining completely alone, I broke down after that session and ended up sitting in the pub for an hour by myself going over the fact I was completely blinded for all this time. It absolutely killed me... because of all the decisions I made prior to this. I mean him leaving me for another woman this time last year behind my back was enough warning of what he was capable of but this man went above and beyond to destroy my heart for the last time... I kinda felt sorry for him too because there’s really no cure for his issues I thought to myself I’d love to help Matt but unfortunately you can’t help someone who sees no issue in who they are as a person. It’s time to free myself now and work on my issues instead of trying to fix his.

So now… the new life alone begins. One that I did not want to face. I wanted to be happily living with Matt it was supposed to be our happy ever after, A part of me still does. But I can’t look back now. I have goals and aspirations I still want to get accepted into uni and learn psychology/nutrition and achieve my dream career and be fully sober, I have to learn to find value in myself now. I have to hold my head high even on the days that I feel my worst. I have the most amazing support system my friends and family have been legends lately, I literally wouldn’t be here without all of them. I am still healing. I have outbursts of anger and sadness and I am trying to wade through it all.. I have learned what it means to set boundaries now as I never did in the past and that’s why I’ve been a doormat to men... and what I cannot tolerate in a relationship. I have grown tremendously from this experience but there is still more growing to do and healing from my CPTSD and health issues from being involved with these men.

What I have learnt is No one is worth sacrificing what you hold. It doesn’t matter if he is good-looking or promises you the whole world if he does not show you respect now or then he never will. Love is blind. Your family and your friends will see the red flags in them before you are willing to accept them. Listen to them. Listen to yourself I even failed to listen to Matts dad when he warned me about his son... but moral of the story is Every person is deserving of a love that sets their soul on fire, as well as provides a place to rest when weary. This world is harsh sometimes, so hold onto those who are kind to you. For now, I will be focusing on myself, my goals, my life, and my family and friends. And healing. I have one last shot at my life now to get it right it’s now or never.

[pettymoms-thearchive]

I don't mind that Dora-and-Oliver is still fucking her ex, but the fact that she's dropped the whole "Pay by June 5 or I'll go to court" is super irresponsible. If he paid the money he owed, she wouldn't even have to be making decisions like skipping extra vaccines. Shame she prefers sex over rightfully owed child support 💁🏼

So I'm not sure that the two are unrelated but he does seem manipulative like he can just give her affection and assume that he doesn't need to pay for their kid. (From what we see) If they can work it out outside of court though more power to them 🤷‍♀️Peach