#if they had been constructive in their criticism then I wouldn't be so salty but they were just straight up trash talking

[blue-skiesand-silverlinings]

I rarely post here, but I do need to vent, because if I don't do it here, I'll end up doing it all over the notes in the next Blue Skies and Silver Linings chapter and that just isn't the time or place. I don't need to bog down the chapter with all this.

I know some of y'all who read it also attend to watching this blog for the art I do, so here it goes. This is a response to a semi-recent reviewer regarding some things in some of the recent chapters, but I will not name them because I'm not into the whole doxxing culture over something stupid like a half-assed complaint about some recent things that went down in said chapters.

I get it, I'm slow in updating so the story's been dragging (I apologize, I sincerely do), but goddamn dude. I do have a life, like a job, kids, pets, bills, the whole nine yards. The only thing I lack is a beta, so I'm usually stuck scanning things myself before I post them, but things do slip by. Not everyone is perfect.

So, here it goes, this is response is particularly aimed towards the trash takes against military culture and what they think is absolutely wrong, because it's absolutely apparent that they hadn't served a day in their life. Don't at me, bro. I have receipts for my service.

So let's fucking do this.

I’ve seen people get reduced in rank for a lot of stupid shit. That includes back-talking your superiors. They can take away everything, including the privileges of going off base, driving your own car (if you have one), or even something as simple as wearing civilian attire (blue jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts, anyone?). If you live off base, not anymore, you don’t! You're back in the barracks, and you have to check in with the duty hut every two hours (or however often the intervals are set at), on the hour, or they’ll report your ass. They’ll knock you down in rank, cut your pay in half, and they can do it for up to six months, maybe even longer (depending on severity of the NJP, it's up to command discretion).

Shit can, will, and does roll downhill. And that can include your career, so choose your attitude with care when dealing with military folk that are closer to the top.

When someone in power decides to flex their power by making your life hell, the stupidest thing you can do is provoke them (ie anything can provoke them, from not doing something fast enough to just breathing loudly; they're not picky on how they can tear you down). You can’t just quit like a regular job and skip town either. If you try, it just might get you court martialed for going AWOL; that means when you’re caught, you’re going to sit in front of a military judge, reviewed by a military panel of peers, and you'll be supported or attacked by military lawyers.

They can kick you out and dishonourably discharge you. You lose everything if that happens, including being seen by the VA hospitals and other “perks” after getting out (including college tuition or disability compensation for any issues you sustained while in the military). A PFC’s word against a Gunnery Sergeant? They’ll always take the gunny’s word over yours, any day of the week because rank = trustworthiness and more weight in power. It doesn't matter how honest you are, how much integrity you have. At the end of the day, rank means everything.

And believe me, those kinds of people are just aching to let loose, and they are looking for that chance to play fuck-fuck games, and once they have it, they’ll pounce. Why? Because they can! They love to set you up for failure and laugh about it. They'll even string you along so that you take the bait, and fall into those kinds of traps.

Those kinds of people will sell your soul to Satan for one corn chip if they could. They’ll throw their own mothers under the bus if it meant keeping their asses out of trouble. Being under the command or working alongside someone like that can make damn near anyone neurotic and anxious and terrified for even thinking the wrong thing, especially if you’re brand-new to a unit and they immediately decide, “Ah, yes. I would like to ruin this person’s life because it’ll be entertaining to me”.

(I’m not saying this doesn’t happen in the civilian world, it absolutely does, but the military is a whole different beast altogether as far as culture goes. And the people in this culture are just as likely, if not more so, able to get away with this kind of abuse. Yes, abuse. What these people do has a name, and abuse is what it is called. It shouldn't have a place in work spaces, and yet, here we are.)

This is why a lot of people get out of the military, a lot of GOOD people who want to stay in but can’t if it means dealing with the bad leadership and losing the battle against them. Those baddies love ruining lives and they're good at twisting things so the system works for them and no one else, and the bad ones continue to stay in collecting paychecks, and they get up into higher ranks, and continue to rot away the core of the branches they’re working in.

I’ve met and seen people who were affected in ways much worse than me, and they are Not Doing Great, even if they’re out by now or about to get out. When I was in and I was stuck under people like this, I was too scared to go to anyone for help because word travels fast and it's not a matter of IF it gets back to those people, it's a matter of WHEN. And when it does, you're in for a world of hurt. They'll find ways to hurt you. Maybe not physically (they still will. They'll keep their hands clean and make you hurt indirectly, but they will find a way). They'll find ways to exhaust you to the point of ruination. They always do.

They make you feel hopeless, small, and all alone, and unable to reach out for help because they can twist it to make it seem like you're crazy and stupid and just saying shit to get attention and they revel in it. And these are people who might have their own families and kids and lives, but they will absolutely put everything on pause just to fuck you up!

That shit stays with you. That shit changes your brain chemistry. I get nightmares about being back in and back under those awful people and I'm once again a junior Marine instead of a Sergeant, or I'm having to go through boot camp all over again as a grown-ass woman and not a dumbass 19-year-old and I end up back at my old base, and I wake up fearful and anxious and it sets me physically, emotionally, and mentally off-kilter for the rest of the day, if not the week. There's a reason I keep telling people, I will NEVER go back to NC because that whole entire state just makes me physically ill. I KNOCKED A WHOLE ASS STATE OFF MY "PLACES TO GO" LIST. I will not drive through it, fly over it, nothing. I don't care. Drop my ass off at the border, I'll wait for you to come and get me or I'll find my way around, thanks.

It really is that simple (as I presented it in the chapter) and I can’t believe I have to explain this in so many words because apparently, the few I used didn't get through to you because you apparently can't understand nuance.

Also, one last thing. Have you ever considered that if a character (especially one that is MINE, as in, they're Not Canon, they're MY OC) is acting "OOC", it might be a case of invoking the trope, "OOC is Serious Business"? If you want to go make your own wet-dream military character and model them off of something like Battlefield or Call of Duty or Halo, or whatever, then you go for it. By all means, you do you.

But don't sit there and act like your opinions are facts on how someone else's OC should act if they're not your own damn creation...who are you to accuse someone that they're own OC is "acting OOC"? I beg your finest fucking pardon.

Keep coming at me with the dumbass energy about this though, I will match it and bury your ass because you didn't even finish reading the recent chapters, you skimmed at best worst. It was very evident in the way you did a half-assed job in trying to tear down the chapter that you "reviewed" in. You have absolutely no leg to stand on.

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[auxiliarydetective]

Fic Author Interview

Thanks for the tag @benevolenterrancy !

1 How many works do you have on AO3?

55, for now. There will be a lot more...

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

516,744 - which I don't know how to feel about. It seems like too little but also like... Woah. I guess it's because I'm so used to read a comma as the symbol that separates full numbers from decimals, so it doesn't really register as over 500 thousand in my brain. Because as soon as it gets into my brain that it's actually hundreds of thousands of words... We're definitely in the woah territory.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

First is Favourite Pastime with 63 - and I'm honestly really surprised by this. A Ghostbusters fic?! But I'm also really glad because... I dare say... Favourite Pastime is one of my better fics. It's pretty good.

Second place goes to The Rule of Three with 57, my Star Wars fic. It barely has any chapters, but it's still so popular and I kinda love it. Glad my fic of anger issues and sibling bickering resonated so well lol

Third is My Heart, My Liege, Mi Capitán with 53, which means we're now in song lyric title and OPLA territory and YES. I kinda love Cora's fic, I put a lot of heart into it, so I'm really glad that people like it.

Fourth place is, unfortunately, a Harry Potter fic. I mean, it makes sense. It's one of my biggest fandoms and one of my oldest fics, so it would naturally gather a lot of Kudos but... it's bad! Not this one in particular, this one is still pretty alright, but I have so many better fics that deserve this spot! I have a love-hate relationship with my Harry Potter fics...

Fifth place - and here's the big news - is Golden Spiders - my newest fic! The one I'm currently still working on! This one took off and I couldn't be happier! So thanks to everyone who made this possible <3

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely, yeah! I love hearing what people think about my fics and I love interacting with my readers. It's really, really great, and one of the things that keeps me going and motivated.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

On AO3 or on Tumblr? On AO3, it would be Die Drei ?? - Squid Game AU. On Tumblr, it's this one. Both Squid Game related, who would've thought?

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

The happiest?! Oh boy, I don't know. I do love a happy ending! But I also love some angst on the way, so... Take your pick! Which of my characters had it best? I think it might be Till Death Do Us Part, for as angsty as it can be? But I dunno, you tell me.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Yes! I've written some crossovers before and I definitely will again. They're always fun!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't know, I don't remember. Probably not but I've received some non-constructive criticism.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, by now I do write smut. But I write it using what I like to call the "Felix Krull Method" (named after a book I had to read for my finals that wrote its sex scenes in such a way), so using lots of euphemisms, metaphors and avoiding full-on explicit language because I just don't feel comfortable writing it like that and because it just wouldn't fit in with my writing style. My style is very heavy on metaphors, comparisons, allusions, so it wouldn't make sense for me to completely switch registers into your typical smut language. To be clear, I don't dislike that sort of register per se, it just doesn't work for me. This may sound like a bit of a weird way to write smut, but I've been told it works perfectly and I think it's fun, so I will keep doing it this way :)

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not a fic but a character. And that's my Harry Potter OC, Asteria Malfoy. I was very salty about it and I still am because I didn't have the guts to put my foot down back then and tell them that they weren't allowed to use the concept and name even if they claimed it was a "reference" to my fic. They should've at least asked permission!

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not yet. But I plan to translate my Auxiliary AU fics when I reboot them!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really, but I've helped work on fleshing out characters and such.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

My all-time favourite? You can't possibly make me pick! I love all of my OC ships a totally healthy amount and am occasionally overcome by a heavy sense of yearning for them, so... Yeah. Currently very in love with Mihawk/Aurelia and Sanji/Cora though

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Oh girl... Maybe The Rule of Three? Or my Vocalization series? Unless the hyperfixation hits, those are stuck.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Descriptions. Visualization. I love that shit. Also, I'd be willing to claim that I'm good at characterization. You can also trust me to throw in little references for the reader to find :)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably my indecisiveness. I also need to hold myself by a leash not to rush my relationships. This is especially bad with my OC Cora because, for trauma-related reasons, she reacts badly to being touched and will need some time to ease into it. So, I have to bonk myself on the head every time I want to have her hug and cuddle people because she would not do that yet. Also, I had to stop myself from having her kiss Sanji multiple times because it's just too early for that.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think it's great! Adds a bit of realism. I just always get very nervous doing it if it's a language I don't speak because I don't want to make mistakes.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The first one ever or on AO3? On AO3, it's Die Drei ???, a popular book series in Germany.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

My currently unintroduced OCs ^^" Currently, I really wanna write a Lux/Zoro fic because I love their dynamic

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I can't answer that because I love so many of my fics! But the longer ones are usually pretty good.

[charles-rxwlands]

lay all your love on me

okay!! so this is my fic for @magpiencrow's 1.2k writing challenge.

this is based off of the song lay all your love on me, slowed, by putin

pairing: nikolai/reader

rating: general

tags: gn!reader w/ gn pronouns, fluff

summary: falling in love with nikolai lantsov told through several vignettes

or: mindless nikolai/reader fluff with a alina and ivan being little shits

warnings: right off the bat there's a nightmare about drowning in the ocean, and there's one (1) swear word at the end, but other than that, there's nothing

word count: 4.1k

read on ao3

constructive criticism, feedback, and reblogs are greatly appreciated !

I haven't written anything in a while, so i may be a bit rusty, but please enjoy :)

You were drowning, and also pretty damn sure you were going to die out here. Your lungs were on fire, screaming for air, but you couldn't emerge from the ocean for long enough to suck in a breath. Sure, your hand or head breached the surface every now and then, but a wave would come crashing down on you immediately after, destroying all your progress.

      The undulating waves threw you around like a football - a very pathetic one, at that. As hard as you tried to fight the current, it still insisted on moving against you (stubborn bastard), so really you weren't going anywhere. Just pathetically bobbing around in the same pathetic place. You couldn't feel your limbs - the only thing you could feel was the agonising ache in your chest. It was as if your arms and legs had frozen over along with your will to live.

      How easy it would be to just... 

...let the ocean take you...

      Suddenly, someone grabbed you by the wrist. You screamed, which was a mistake; immediately, salty seawater filled your mouth, making you gag and choke. Nevertheless, you valiantly tried to release yourself from whoever - whatever? - had their hold on you. 

      "Y/n, Y/n! Relax, darling, relax," a voice said, sounding out of breath. "It's me."

      You whirled your head around. Sagging with relief, you gasped out the name of your saviour. "Nikolai."

      "Yes. Yes, Y/n, my love, it's me. It's Nikolai," he soothed, running his hands over your wet hair.

      "Nikolai," you breathed. "Nikola-" - a wave reared up on its hind legs, ready to come crashing down onto your friend, ready to take him away - "no, no, Nikolai, NO-!"

   

You startled, eyes flying open. You were shaking like a leaf. Were you cold, or was it just the adrenaline from the nightmare still making its course? You shook your head as if to rid your mind of the dream. It wasn't real. Nikolai had saved you that night. It was fine. It wasn't real.

      But it could very well have been real, a traitorous voice in your mind whispered. Scowling, you cursed your pessimistic side. Even if a wave had separated you two, Nikolai would have fought tooth and nail to get to you again. You would have done the same. After all, you were childhood friends, and you knew better than anyone that Nikolai didn't let go of his loved ones so easily.

      He hadn't wanted you to accompany him on his journey overseas as Sturmhond. You insisted otherwise, channeling some of Nikolai's stubbornness that had rubbed off on you. ("You're not getting rid of me that easily, idiot. So let me come, unless you want me to steal your kneecaps."). 

      A half-smile appeared on your face as you thought back to the memory. Slowly, you got up from your bed. Your blanket was draped over your shoulders. You slipped out of your cabin quietly, walking down the hallway until you found yourself in front of Nikolai's room. He stirred in his sleep when you entered. The door creaked slightly, but it didn't seem like his distress was because of the noise.

      You sat on the edge of his bed. Nikolai, previously facing away, turned over to face you. His eyes were still screwed shut, eyebrows knitted together and an unhappy expression on his face. You frowned. 

      "Nikolai." you nudged him gently. "Wake up. You're okay, just wake up. It's just a dream."

      He opened his eyes, blinking at you. "Y/n?"

      "Hi," you said. A lock of golden hair fell over his forehead, and upon instinct, you reached to brush it away. He let you, not uttering any of his usual complaints. 

      "You were gone," he mumbled, undoubtedly referencing his nightmare. "I- I couldn't save you, and you were gone." 

      You shifted into a more comfortable position - your whole body was on the bed now, with your back against the headboard. He leaned his head against your chest, and you ran your fingers through his hair. "It wasn't real. It's okay. You saved me - I'm not going anywhere, 'Lai."

      "Me either," he agreed, wrapping his arms around your middle. A beat of silence. Then, "Thank you."

      You were more than content to fall asleep like this. Even if it meant waking up with an ache in your neck. Judging from the way he was curled up, practically drinking in your presence, Nikolai felt the same way.

      What a feeling it was to have found solace in Nikolai Lantsov, and to know he had found solace in you, too.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai's pov

Nikolai watched from the corner of the ballroom as you laughed at one of Ivan's jokes. One would say that he was scowling, but the Prince of Ravka didn't scowl. No - he was simply observing your conversation with the Heartrender with visible distaste. He was not scowling. And he was not jealous.

      You and Ivan were smiling at each other, standing by the refreshments table, mouths moving quickly, the both of you obviously interested in whatever you were talking about. You threw your head back in a laugh. You looked gorgeous. Nikolai wanted to make you laugh like that - more than he wanted to admit.

      The last straw was when Ivan lay a hand on your shoulder, and then snaked his arm around you. You didn't seem perturbed by his touch - no, actually, you leaned into it. He bent down to whisper something in your ear that made you duck your head in embarrassment and lightly hit his chest. 

      Nikolai's glare deepened, if that were even possible. Okay, fine, maybe he was jealous. Did he even have the right to be jealous, though? It wasn't as if he was dating you, as much as he'd like to be.

And oh boy, he'd like to be. 

      Suddenly, Alina appeared at his side, seemingly out of thin air. He flinched. "Alina." 

      The girl in question had a mischievous look in her eye. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the long, flowy sleeves of her dress falling just past her wrists. The bottom half of her gown was a sparkly gold, whereas the top half was a dark blue. The two colours faded into each other at the middle, creating a gradient effect. It was a beautiful dress. You had helped Alina pick it out yourself, if he remembered correctly.

      "Hello, loverboy." she poked him in the side, grinning knowingly. "How's your crush on Y/n going for you?"

      "I don't have a crush on them, Alina, for Saint's sake."

      "Oh, is that so? You do seem... ah, what was the word... utterly whipped for them, contrary to what you just said," she said, tilting her head to the side, feigning innocence.

      "Am not," he argued. "I-," Nikolai paused, taking notice of you and Ivan walking past a couple metres away. Unfortunately, you were too engrossed in your current conversation to notice him. His eyes lingered on you. He only looked away when you disappeared back into the throng of people. 

      Alina let out a triumphant 'ha!'. 

      He directed his attention back to her and glared. "Alina, I swear-,"

      "Utterly. Whipped," she mouthed.

      "I will behead you," he threatened.

      She laughed. "In all seriousness, I really don't think Y/n and Ivan like each other like that," Alina said.

      "Well, of course not," he agreed. "Y/n very clearly has eyes for me. I can't say I blame them - who could resist all this? Everyone's all over me, as I'm sure you've noticed." 

      Alina stared at him pointedly.

      "Ah, except for you, of course. You seem to be the only one immune to my charm and charisma. An odd one, you are."

       She rolled her eyes. "Why do I even bother," she groaned. "Just swear to me that you'll tell Y/n you like them soon. Within a week. Swear on... your dignity."

      "My dignity?" Nikolai drawled.

      "Yes, your dignity, because if you don't fess up soon, I'll have to tell Y/n about your crush on them myself," she grinned smugly, and darted off before Nikolai could retort. 

      He sighed. As he saw it, he had three options:

      1. Blackmail Alina (because of course she wouldn't give in to simple bribery)

      2. Get on his knees and beg Alina to not tell you of his massive crush (there! he admitted it; he had a massive crush on you! One that he'd been harbouring for just over a year now, too)

      3. Listen to Alina, and confess on his own terms

      All three were mortifying, and things he absolutely didn't want to do. However, the last was considerably easier to do, and came with the most benefits and the least consequences. You had already seen him through his most embarrassing moments (and he through yours) so even if you rejected him, the humiliation would be minimal. 

      And maybe he wanted to confess. And maybe there was hope that you liked him back. Nikolai wasn't stupid - he knew when people fancied him. He suspected you liked him back, but then again, that could've been wishful thinking, or maybe he was misreading the entire thing.

      He didn't even understand why he was so jealous of the way Ivan and you had interacted. Before he had fallen heads over heels in love with you, his childhood best friend, people flirting with you hadn't been a problem. He'd encouraged it, even. But now, bitterness flared up inside of him every time he saw someone getting a bit too cozy with you. 

      In short, his feelings for you had completely destroyed his facade of smooth, suave, sexy Prince of Ravka. And it kind of terrified him how poorly he hid it.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai had been acting strange lately, and it was bothering you. You feared the worst - had he finally caught on to your crush? You thought you'd been subtle until Ivan had approached you at the most recent party. Apparently, the scowl on your face as you watched Nikolai flirt with the guests had been fierce enough to kill.

      Ivan had given you (unsolicited) advice, telling you to be straightforward and direct. That was what he'd done with Fedyor, after all, and that had worked out well.

      You were pacing around your room. Ivan was perched on your bed, watching you have a borderline nervous breakdown like one would watch the view. 

      "You're enjoying this, aren't you, Ivan?" you demanded. "I'm about to make a life or death decision, and you're enjoying it."

      He chuckled. "I wouldn't call this a life or death decision, Y/n. If Nikolai rejects you, he rejects you, and it's his loss. If he reciprocates, good, and you'll be free to frolic in the meadows with him, all fine and dandy."

      You stared at him, your expression communicating, "Did you really just say that?", very clearly.

      "Okay, okay, fine, I'll be serious." Ivan relented. "Just tell him, Y/n. What's the worst that could happen?" 

      Just as you were about to respond - "Well, I don't know, what if he rejects me, things become eternally awkward between us, and our 10 year long friendship is ruined because I couldn't keep my mouth shut?" - someone knocked at the door. You opened it to find Nikolai waiting. His hair was perfectly styled, as always. He wore a dark turquoise suit jacket, and a simple white dress shirt underneath. The ghost of a smile appeared on your face; you had chosen the colour for him.

      "Hi, Nikolai," you greeted. 

      "Hello," he said. "Come on a walk with me. It's a lovely day outside, and both of us have been dreadfully busy lately - we may not get another chance to spend time together, I'm afraid."

      "Oh! Of course, just let me grab more suitable shoes- I'll be out in a minute- Ivan, move." You rummaged around your room in search of the sandals Nikolai had gifted you for your most recent birthday. Ivan flashed you a grin.

      "Tell him!" he whispered as you ducked out the door.

      You hoped you didn't seem too jittery as you took Nikolai's arm, even if your insides were filled with butterflies. He seemed deep in thought for the first few minutes of your walk. It wasn't until you were both outside that he finally spoke.

      "I hope you don't mind me asking, Y/n, but what was Ivan doing in your room?" he asked. 

      The question caught you off guard. Why was he so concerned about you and Ivan? It wasn't as if-

      Oh.

      Oh.

      "Nikolai, don't tell me- are you jealous?" you exclaimed.

      "Just answer the question, Y/n," he grumbled, which was enough of an answer for you.

      You laughed, only feeling a bit bad that you were so amused. Nikolai Lantsov, jealous. You found that incredibly funny. "Oh, I'm sorry for laughing," you apologised, even as another giggle escaped your mouth. "You don't have to worry, Ivan and I are strictly friends."

      He didn't seem convinced. "But the two of you at the party a few days ago-,"

      You cut him off. "Nikolai. I promise that there is nothing romantic going on with Ivan and I. And besides, I don't think I'm anywhere near his type."

      "Ivan likes men, Nikolai," you supplied, sensing his confusion. "Honestly, you need to keep up with gossip - he and Fedyor have been going strong for nearly three months now."

      "Oh," Nikolai said.

      "Yeah, oh."

      "And, uh, do you? Like men, I mean?" 

      You bit back another laugh. "Yes, I do. One man in particular, actually." 

      "Is that so? Care to clue me in on who this man is?"

      "You." 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Nikolai's pov

"You."

      As soon as that single word came out of your mouth, Nikolai's brain short-circuited, and several alarms blared in his mind. ALERT! ALERT! THE PERSON YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH LIKES YOU BACK! 

      He was too stunned to speak, which was definitely a first. So, naturally, he didn't speak, but instead leaned in to kiss you. His lips brushed chastely against yours. A pause. 

      "I- I'm really sorry, Y/n, I should have asked beforehand-,"

      "Nikolai." you took his face in your hands. "Shut up." 

      And then you kissed him, and if his brain had been short-circuiting before, this was a full blown system failure. Sparks flew inside of him, and he was acutely aware of you and you only. It was a wonderful feeling, one that he immediately missed when you pulled away.

      "Wow," you said. 

      He grinned. "I'm that good of a kisser, huh?"

      When usually you would come up with a witty response, you just smiled. It was a smile Nikolai was pretty sure he'd die to see again. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

Falling in love with Nikolai had been a long process. Your simple crush developed into something deeper like a leaky faucet dripping - slowly, but steadily. And then the realisation that you were in love with him hit you like a tidal wave. Drowning you, consuming every inch of your being, but not necessarily in a bad way.

       You came to your epiphany while laying awake in bed one night after a whole day spent with the esteemed King of Ravka. It was a wonder that you'd managed to spend a whole 10 hours or so in his company without getting fed up, Tamar had teased. He did annoy you - and had today - but you bullied him back plenty enough. It was easy being with him. Easier than you were used to. 

       You loved the way his eyes sparkled after correcting someone on their use of the word 'impossible'. Loved how he devoted himself to his country so selflessly. Loved how he smiled at you so genuinely and lovingly, even when you didn't have the energy to show your love in return after a bad day. Saints, you loved him so, so much, and you were so in love with him, too, and-

       Holy shit. You were in love with Nikolai.

       You were in love. With Nikolai.

       A childish giggle bubbled up inside of you, and you sighed happily. What a feeling it was to be in love with the King of Ravka, even if he didn't know it yet. 

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

You twirled a small flower around in your hands as you walked side by side with Nikolai, your shoulders brushing occasionally. The taller blades of grass tickled your ankles, and a gentle breeze weaved through your hair. The sun peeked out from behind a few clouds, warming your face.

     Nikolai intertwined your fingers, sighing in content. He craned back his neck to meet the sunshine, eyes fluttering shut. He looked stunning, just standing there with his almost otherworldly beauty as light spilled over his fine features, highlighting every detail.

     "I'm in love with you," you blurted suddenly. "I love you, and I'm also in love with you, so. Yeah. I'm in love with you, Nikolai Lantsov."

     You gave yourself a mental round of applause for your eloquence and tact.

      He blinked. "Oh." The ghost of a smile appeared on his face, turning into a full-fledged grin when he finally processed your words. "Oh. I'm... I'm in love with you, too, Y/n L/n."

      You beamed back at him, and cupped his face in your hands. You gently ran your fingers against his cheeks, tracing a line down to the base of his chest. The fabric of his shirt was thin and soft, unlike the suffocating material his suits were made of. Lovingly, he wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you close. Your heart fluttered. Saints, you adored Nikolai. More than you could put into words. 

      "I love you," you whispered. "I love you so much, so intensely that it consumes me, and I'm drowning in it. But instead of it being hard to breathe, it makes breathing easier. It makes everything easier." 

      You interrupted your little speech by kissing him, just because it felt appropriate, and continued. "I was so lost without you, Nikolai. I didn't realise it, because as I've proved time and time again, I'm more than capable of holding my own-" you smirked as he rolled his eyes at the jab to his overprotectiveness "-but I was. I was a boat lost at sea, floating around in the waves, with no destination and no goal except surviving. Then you came along, and gave me solace. You were my salvation. You and your endearingly stupid jokes and your wild yet grounded behaviour. You're my anchor, Nikolai." 

      He laughed, but not in the mean way. In the happy way. 

      "I would pay you back with a monologue of my own," he said. "but all I can think of right now is how perfect you are, and how much I want to kiss you."

      Your smile widened, if that were even possible. You met him midway, lips connecting almost desperately. The only coherent thought running through your brain was 'Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai.'

      Nikolai.

· · ─── ·𖥸· ─── · ·

"That one looks like a dragon," you said, pointing out a lumpy cloud in the sky.

      Nikolai tilted his head to the left. It was rather cute - he looked like a puppy, trying to figure out what its owner was saying. His right eyebrow curved in an upward arch (you still had no idea how he managed to raise a single eyebrow at a time), and he pouted slightly. Adorable.

      "I don't see it," he deadpanned.

      You sighed and shook your head, dismissing the cute puppy ideology. "Nevermind," you huffed. As hard as you tried to pretend you were upset with him, a smile teased at the corners of your mouth, anyway.

      "I'm sorry, darling, but I really don't!" he exclaimed, flopping back into the picnic blanket you two had laid out. Really, it wasn't even a picnic blanket. It was just a blanket. The two of you hadn't had time to find a proper one before embarking on your impromptu picnic. Nikolai, ever the improviser, had then brandished a quilt from Saints knew where. You suspected it came from Vasily's room, because who else would be pompous enough to own a red velvet blanket the size of China?

      You dramatically exhaled again. "I already said nevermind. Not all of us can be blessed with a creative vision such as mine, after all."

      Nikolai laughed. And Saints, the sound was downright melodic. You didn't even want to begin thinking about all the things you'd do to hear it one more time.

      A comfortable silence settled between the two of you. Eventually, he began stroking your palm with his callouses fingers. You bit back a smile, and linked your pinkies together. A gathering of clouds mostly covered the sun - enough to allow only a bit of warm, gold light to seep out. You wondered briefly how Nikolai looked right now, basking underneath the faint sunshine. 

      The answer came to you easily, even without looking at him: fucking beautiful. 

      However, you wouldn't give him the satisfaction of staring at him. The last time he had caught you gaping at him like a lovesick fool, he had teased you endlessly. It was ridiculous. It wasn't as if he didn't stare at you. No, actually. He stared at you all the time. In fact, he was doing it right now.

      You bit back a grin when you felt his eyes on you. But before you could tease him for it, he got up suddenly, offering you a hand.

      "Come on," he urged. "Follow me."

      "Where to?" you questioned curiously.

      He smirked. Tugged on your hand. Winked. "You'll see." 

      "Right, that's not cryptic at all," you muttered. 

      Eventually, after a minute or so of walking (and plenty of you trying to weasel more information out of him) the two of you had seemed to reach your destination. A huge tree hung above you, offering its shade. You plopped down, but Nikolai remained standing.

      Strangely, he was looking rather nervous. Repeatedly tugging at the collar of his beige button-up shirt, and kicking at the grass. 

      "Y/n, darling, don't just sit there, you're making me nervous," he whined. 

      You giggled, but stood up anyway. "I could say the same about you. What's on your mind, dear?"

      He took a deep breath, and looked you dead in the eyes. "I love you, Y/n. I love you, and I'm in love with you. I always have, and always have been. It's just- you're wonderful. And intelligent. And charming. And I am so, so glad you are my partner - in the romantic sense, and the platonic sense. If I'm being honest, I'm quite sure I'd be tearing at the seams without you to sew me back together every time I do something particularly foolish. 

      And I hope you'll always be there to ground me. Because I will always be there for you. Th-there's no other way to say this, my darling, but I'd quite like to spend the rest of my life with you, so..."

      He brandished a dark blue box from his back pocket (this probably wasn't the time, but you had to mention that you could never fit something that large in your pocket. Why did men's clothing always have bigger pockets?) and got down on one knee. 

      "Will you do me the honour of marrying me, Y/n?" he finished.

      Holy fuck. Holy mother of Saints. Holy everything. Was this real? Saints. This really was real, wasn't it? Nikolai Lantsov was proposing to you.

      A sob escaped from your throat, and you nodded frantically, not wanting him to think you were upset. "Yes," you said. "Saints, Nikolai, yes."

      He smiled. You knew that he smiled a lot, but this smile was different. Usually, he just grinned or smirked in a devilish way - this was more of a beam. He looked so genuinely happy (genuinely happy, because of you!) that it made your heart soar, and you were pretty sure you fell in love with him all over again for the second time. You'd never get tired of it, though. Not when it came to Nikolai (Nikolai, your husband-to-be!). Never when it came to Nikolai.

      You soon found yourself enveloped in a hug. He spun you around, both of you laughing (and crying). When he set you down, you could have sworn you saw his eyes welling up.

      "Now, my love, those better be happy tears," he tutted.

      "Of course they're happy tears, you stupid puppy dog!" you sniffed. "I love you."

      He beamed into your hair. "I love you, too, Y/n."

      What a feeling it was to be in love with Nikolai Lantsov, and to know that he was in love with you, too.

[kiliinstinct]

Glad I'm not the only one who finds it difficult to answer asks from people who have different opinions lol. Anyways, thanks for being considerate about my feelings, love you❤

I wasn't saying I love the sequel more than the og series, just that after a great arc like Tartarus, the Alvarez execution felt cheap and it saddened me to see such a huge potential getting wasted by Mashima. I was so excited for the spriggan 12 and the Zeref fight but it got boiled down to BULLSHIT fights like Erza and Wendy vs Irene, Natsu kinda oneshotting Neinhart, Elfman and Lis somehow being able to defeat Azeel when clearly it took Erza and Bisca's power to defeat him at 1st, the Gruvia development was cool but Invel was so underutilized, Natsu defeating Dimaria offscreen, God Serena having 8 ds elements and then getting one shot by Acno....the only fights that had some logic to them were Brandish vs Lucy (that was also stopped midway) and Laxus vs Wall...we didn't even get to see the Ishgar kings fight, even the Mira vs Jacob fight...and the Gildarts and Cana vs August sighhhh

I'm glad that the diabolos are getting handled better compared to that and are taking time to be defeated than just getting oneshot after 2 minutes of being introduced. But you're right about the characterization. Natsu's character feels just so different I mean it's really annoying. He seems to be made even dumber than he actually is.

But I'd like to know about other characters as Lucy/Erza/Gray from you. Don't worry, constructive criticism of my opinions is also welcome. I'd like to hear why you feel the other characters' personalities have been made different?

Sorry for all that rambling, I hope you're not annoyed.

Oh, I didn't mean to imply that you liked it more than the series, I was just referring to the Alvarez Arc in general. Which, a lot of what you said about the Spriggan 12 is pretty much how I felt about a lot of those fights too. (Though, to be perfectly honest, I had other ideas on how the Alvarez Arc should have gone and the Spriggan 12 probably wouldn't have existed in my own version for it. lol.) I was 100% Excited for the Zeref showdown though, as well as the Acnologia fight, but the way they went down left me... seriously disappointed. It just didn't seem to have enough.. meat on it for me. If that makes sense? It felt very rushed and all surface ideas refusing to delve too deep into the narrative. (And I'm still super salty the Acnologia fight ended with Natsu getting everyone's magic and just punching him. I still think that battle would have been better if it had ended with a 7 Dragon Slayer Unison Raid but noooooo, Mashima had to go and pull a DBZ on us.) I'll be honest here, I'm not sure how to answer the rest of this, but I do want to assure you that I'm not annoyed and generally like getting asks that are discussion FT, Character Theories, Headcanons, Fanfics, etc, etc. But I was about to go to bed, and am unfortunately sick, so my answer may not be... sensical.

Also, I'm going to refrain from saying too much about Gray in regards to Alvarez as well as the sequel. As that's a hornet's nest I have beaten before and do not wish to beat again. (I'm not a fan of gru/via as a pairing so you can imagine the things I've seen in snippits of the sequel don't excite me all that much - but my past opinions on that enraged a few people, so best to avoid that.) As for the others. I feel like a lot of Lucy's development was.. sorta washed away and replaced with "look at these new stardress mixes she can do!"(As an aside, i really dont like the design choices for a lot of her stardresses, they've... made some ridiculous decisions there.) As well as still acting as if she's the damsel when really she's pretty tough and deserves better treatment and development. You were right on the money with Natsu- where it just feels like he lost 100 IQ points after the original series ended. (I refuse to believe he doesn't understand that human women don't lay eggs.) Erza also just.. feels like she is being reduced to a lot of fanservice moments. Honestly, there's a lot of pervy jokes in the sequels that I feel.. really weren't necessary. At all. That go crossing the line closer towards creepy. So it just makes me uncomfortable. Honestly this is just reminding me of why I've been slowly plotting/planning a fic that's a rewrite of the final FT season. lol. At this point, I think I've rambled on long enough, so I'll end my answer here, I guess and head to bed. Hope you have a good night/morning!

[hehesarcasm-writing]

Todoroki fic for @trashdolphin/@simpgameplays

I love you! 💖

Prompt- movie night

Warnings- none 😁 have fun

Other details- this is a "collab" with @stephiecarie

(Here is Bakugou's Pov written by her) and the mc's skin tone is suited to simp's, please don't be offended by it 😗

➩Lets Start➩

A tired hand wrapped around your waist as you tried to get some popcorn. It was a signal for you to stop, as you were just barely too short for the cabinet. As a sweet and gentle kiss was placed on your forehead, Todoroki got a bag down.

He wouldn't usually let junk food slip by, but it was movie night! Who was he to say no to your cravings?! he can't, HE WON'T It was already late in the night, as you both stayed up together; only now getting ready for the movie.

----------

You both had stayed after school to study, causing the two of you getting home later than usual. Your boyfriend of one month, suggested to stay a little longer; but it was your guy's movie night!

The annual movie nights started way before the two of you had begun dating. Getting used to the routine you both had made, it just stuck.

Going your separate ways to change into some comfy clothes, shouto wearing sweats and a t-shirt, you wearing and tank top and shorts. You couldn't wear a long sleeve as you liked to sit on his left side; continuously making you warmer with the occasional cool down from his left.

Before settling in to pick out a movie, you decided it was time to do your skin care routine. Having not done it in a while and all the studying being done, you thought it was needed to help relax you both.

Of course he joined you in the bathroom, helping you gather up the lotions and soaps. Saying you both had clear skin was an understatement. Neither of you used unnecessary products, such as drying masks; having the nice soft, and non-oily skin preferred by many.

Going through the long over due face routine, your boyfriend decided to play nice music in the background. He was quite interested in music actually, helping him find a new song he might like every now and then; it always did bring a smile to his face when he listened to a song you found for him.

Now making your way to the kitchen, neither of you choosing to eat as to make room for comfort and junk food. You begin to stretch your tired limbs to get some popcorn.

----------

The now cooled bag being poured into a bowl, hearing the pops and smelling the salty butter made your stomach growl. Shouto saw this anxious expression and knew he had to feed you something. Not having any other food, and plainly not wanting to make/waste any, he simple picked you up and placed you on top of the counter.

"sigh, hey baby?" Feeling tired and bored, you just wanted to watch the movie. "What is it, y/n?" Even knowing what you were gonna say, he had to ask just in case. Humming from his sweet tone "Are we ready yet? I wanna-" "I know, almost. Come here, please?" He said, cutting you off.

Following your boyfriend's plead, you joined his side. Picking you up and holding you was easy, his toned muscles cradled you nicely, pressing you flush against him. He began peppering your face with kisses, going down to your collarbone, almost pushing past your shirt. You panicked as you realized he was getting ahead of himself, forgetting how long you've been dating.

"Ahh, Sho... As much as I like this affection, d-don't you think w-we should..." Your face going red as he looked at you, wide eyed. With a waterfall of realization flowing through him, he noticed what he was doing. "I- I'm so sorry, y/n... I didn't realize, and I hope you're not uncomfortable"

He looked down solemnly, still being in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist, you kissed his forehead.

'I just wanted you to feel better.' he thought to himself, feeling embarrassed as you kissed him sincerely.

Red still making its way up your face, you continued as he looked up at you. Slowly but surely, forgetting about the movie; as your lips collided with his, almost unable to breathe between kisses.

He began to crave your touch even more, bringing you both to a wall. Pressing your back against it to bring you closer to him as he began to suck on the sensitive spot on your neck. The room getting increasingly hotter by the second. Tugging on his hair to maybe pull him away, as you were both still new to the relationship, only seemed to make him grow more aroused.

"Sh-shouto~ stop... W-we can't-" getting cut off by his kissed melted you. He never slowed down, making his way to the door, continuously swirling his tongue with yours. You tapped his shoulder as he brung you up the stairs.

"hm~" never unlocking his lips from yours, as he responded breathlessly. "We- we ca- ah" Easily getting more and more entranced in his touch; not wanting to give in until-

'He stopped?' He brung you to the top of the roof, your guy's movie spot. Todoroki plopped you down on a few layers of comfortable blankets with a sly smile looking like home on his face.

"What, you looked like you were hungry? I simply gave you a taste" that sly asswhole "Shouto! I just wanted to watch the movie and then you pull tha-"

Your pouting and whining was cut off by another one of his melt worthy kisses; sliding his tongue on your bottom lip as a tease. You pretended not to notice but your face betrayed you, as many shades of red reappeared.

Your boyfriend left you to pick a movie while he got the forgotten snacks. Picking the movie, he came back just in time. It was colder than most nights spent up there, so you begun to regret your clothing decisions. That is until Todoroki brought your favorite hoodie and pulled it over you; surprising you of course.

"Thanks, Sho" you said as your pale skin glowed against the moon light, the movie beginning to play. Your boyfriend sat down on your right side, as always and grabbed your hand. Something of which was new. Looking over to see his flushed face, he looked at your hand as they intertwined with his.

Cuddling up to his arm, you both stayed there till early morning since there was no school the next day. Shouto rubbing your knuckles, only really fixated on your hand, he began to trace your palm. He's never held your hand before, so he was taking it all in; as if he wouldn't get another chance.

Pushing small little kisses on each finger tip, counting each one, comparing his hand to yours and how his dominated it. It was like a child playing with your hand, but it was more than okay.

"Hey, y/n?" You hummed as a response, still paying attention to the movie. "I think- uh no, I know I love you~"

Your heart stopped, as neither of you have said these words to each other. Feeling warmth in your chest and butterflies in your stomach. You had taught Todoroki on how to not second guess himself, like he used to. So you know this was true, and with a gentle and genuine smile-

"I love you, too~"

➩End➩

I hope you enjoyed reading! If anyone has constructive criticism, I'll be glad to listen and take note.

Again, this was a request from @simpgameplays and I hope you liked this most of all! 💜💖

[4357story]

I couldn't wait to post so here we go.

1-1

Tw: drugging is hinted at, obvious but not acknowledged kidnapping

•It's....dark. Darker than it's ever been for the person trapped inside the tiny wooden cabin.

There's no electricity, thus no light switch. The only hope to finally re-enter the realm of light was to find the door. After a few seconds of searching, a handle seemingly appears beneath his hand.

His....what was his name.. It should've already come back to him. After all, who'd be dumb enough to forget their own name? He remembered nobody knowing how to pronounce it, but now he was the one who couldn't.

With a click, the door opens. Light floods into the room, as if it had been trying to get in for ions. He shuts his eyes at the sudden light, and after a few seconds of adjustment re-opens them.

He didn't register until he stepped out of the cabin that he was standing on sand. Was he on a beach?

As it turns out, beach was an understatement. Sand surrounded him on every side, seemingly going on forever. One could call it a desert if not for the fact that behind him was an impossibly large water source.

He decided he'd try the water, to see wether or not it was salty. It wasn't. This water was better than any other beverage he had ever consumed. At least one of his survival needs was covered.

He decided it was best to head back towards the shed, as it was the only shelter here. Other than the luxury spa hotel, restaurant, casino, bar, cafe, mansion, museum, guesthouse and multiple story apartment building and nice looking house and-

It was once again dark. Somehow an even darker dark. Faint voices could be heard, but making out what they were trying to say was much too challenging for him.

As he started falling from the trance, he realised three things.

First, he was incredibly thirsty. Second, the area wasn't actually all that dark. Third, everything hurt.

His head ached, his heart was pounding, even his hair was screaming in agony. There wasn't much to do but open his eyes. As he did, the voices shut up, his thirst went away and he was no longer feeling any pain.

Instead, he saw 5 unfamiliar faces. They looked at him as if he had just woken from the dead. Except for one, who was seemingly unaltered "So that makes twenty" the tall woman scoffed, before leaving. The intimidating aura this woman possessed seemed to leave a deep impression on everyone around her. He wouldn't be surprised if her stare could actually kill.

Almost everyone else left soon after, leaving a rather weird looking girl there to "deal with him herself". She didn't look older than 14 yet her bright green eyes almost sparkled at the responsibility she'd been left with.

"Hi! My name's Enber, and no, I didn't mean Ember or Amber, thank you very much. Anyhooo- Who're you?" She spoke so fast it would've been hard for most to catch on to the eccentric girls words. Thankfully, he understood.

"I'm Sam." Telling a white lie was way easier than trying to explain his situation. Though it was pretty pathetic. A man over the age of 30 not being able to tell a teenager his real name.

Enber was utterly unfazed and took him by the hand, practically dragging him forward, bright orange ponytail swinging infront of his face.•

And that's end of this one. In the next one, you'll get to meet all the other characters.

If you have any constructive criticism, please give me any tips on how to get better. I love improving my writing to make reading more enjoyable.

Until next time (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[zombiiesque]

Nocturne Alchemy Seth's Dinosaur Collection - PART ONE

Originally published on 6/27/2017

Hello, everyone! I've been wanting to write some reviews for a while now, but we moved, and then I promptly came down with a really bad case of bronchitis, that did not seem to want to go away. I ended up with two different antibiotics and almost went to the hospital at one point, but it's mostly dissipated finally. Well, then I had to put my house together and get everything situated here, and I'm sure anyone that has moved understands how much effort that takes. I haven't moved in over four years, and I felt really bad about not getting my house organized! And here I am, going on and on. Anyway, I had intentions of reviewing Seth's Dinosaur Collection for quite a while, but I think it's particularly relevant now. Nocturne Alchemy is reopening in 4 days, on June 30th! *squeeing and flailing* I'm so excited to see the site redesign. Also, they've been working on new label art, and from what I understand, they'll be adding new scents to the various Permanent Collections. So much fun. I'm sure it's going to be beautiful. If you'd like to keep up with them in the meantime, they have been posting fun things on their Facebook Business page, including a sneak peek video of the new logo, which is absolutely elegant.

Well, I started this last night, and ended up having things to do that needed my immediate intention - so I had to put it down and come back to it in the morning! It seems like that's the way things have been going lately, so now this review is even more timely. Before I delve into it, I want to make mention that I had an email conversation with the NA crew, because I wanted to address some of the rumors I'd seen going around since they'd been closed. I saw that folks were concerned that they wouldn't be reopening, because they've been gone so long, and I also saw that many were worried that the catalogue as it was known might not be returning, so I wrote to see if they'd give me something to share with people - and they did! Such lovely, kindhearted people, and that is the reason I am such a huge "fangirl". I mean, don't get me wrong - they make the most exquisite perfume oils, and of course that drew me in, but once I began to see how much heart they pour into their company, and how much they care about their customers, that really made me fall head over heels. Honestly, in the world of indie perfumes, NA is a pretty good sized company. They've been making perfumes for 10 years now - actually, as it's June, they're into their 11th year, and they have a pretty extensive catalogue! So in their own words, I'll use a direct quote here from Nocturne Alchemy.

NA will return June 30th. We asked our customers last year what they thought of the old NA site. Constructive criticism concluded that it was dated. The truth is, we knew this and had been looking for the right host site for the past two years. We knew it would take time to migrate and create a new site but we'd have to be 100% involved and the focus of a new site would mean we'd have to shut down the old site. In the process, we decided to recreate the art for the labels of the Permanent Collection (we call it the PC because we view perfume as you would at an art gallery, where there is a Permanent Collection and a Limited Collection or the temporary exhibit if you will). In the past six months we've taken some much needed time off after a decade of perfume making, perfume soul-searching, travel for more unique perfume, and also back in the Studio for months now working on new PC, new art for new labels and a new look for NA. It took two years prior to opening NA in 2006 creating a small collection of PC and Limited perfumes, designing labels, the site...the fact that we can do this in six months, means we are at the top of our game. We know what we want to create but you can't rush art. NA will return June 30th. Find us on Facebook to stay up with current information. The PC and Studio Limited will return, as well as the beloved VApothecary line that has been rebranded under Nocturne Alchemy to facilitate cohesiveness at the new site.

So, there you have it! In addition to completely redesigning the site from the ground up, including a different type of "shopping cart", they've been working on all kinds of wonderful things. I am not sure I will even know where to start on Friday! I'm certainly looking forward to digging through the new site - bad pun intended? And now, I have to apologize. As I said, I'd meant to get this posted a few weeks ago, but life sort of threw me under the bus, and I just couldn't give it the proper time it deserved, as the Dinosaur collection, and the eNVie review, both deserve a bit more depth than just reviewing a single perfume. I'll be working on the latter today, to get it posted up hopefully by tomorrow.

So, roughly two summers ago, Nocturne Alchemy released the original Dinosaur collection, which was Seth's baby, as his other passion, from his early childhood, was dinosaurs, and he wanted to do a collection with that theme. I must tell you, it's been one of my very favorite collections, and I'm only missing a few of them. Last summer, they released a Resurgence, and added some new perfumes to the collection. It's alternatively been called the Prehistoric collection, but the name "Seth's Dinosaurs" has kind of become the popular name among the fans, and often gets shortened to "the Dinos". A little note about this collection: "These dinosaur perfumes are created with the beauty of resin in mind for each of them. The concept to this perfume, the label and the respect of the dinosaur is built on imagination. If you look at the label, there is an egg to the left. It is the same color as the Dinosaur. Apply the perfume on wrist and inner elbow and allow the scent to bind with your chemistry. Once this has occurred, inhale. This conceptually, is the egg. To allow the dinosaur to hatch, we wanted you to go to your Studio Limited Library and pull as many as you want, especially your favorites. The magic in layering the dino's with your Studio Limited Library will give your library a new NAVAlchemy aspect of layering and creating your own personal Dino scent. The fun in NAVAlchemy and hatching the dino eggs is all up to you!" - note from Seth. So, I've seen a few comments floating around the internet that say these oils seem to be rather linear, or flat - and I hope that people will read this, because if they don't realize that these were created specifically to be layered, then they'll miss the beauty of these. I do like them on their own, but I find that when they are layered with other perfumes, the beauty and versatility really shines through. I was never adventurous about layering until I was introduced to these beauties, and they really taught me to branch out, because the possibilities are quite endless. What's interesting is that a lot of the SL (Studio Line) is also fantastic for layering, so I'll make some suggestions for these together for you to try. I believe, from the hints that they've been dropping on the Facebook page, that we'll once again be graced with new Dinos this summer. I don't know if it will be happening with the grand reopening, or at some later time in the summer, but it seems that we'll be getting new Dinosaurs to play with! I cannot wait.

So, let's get started! I'll go with the first round of Dinosaurs that I have, and then the second round will be in a separate post. All of the Dinosaurs also make this mention: "*tiny bits of resin may occur in the Dino blends, these will only enrich the blend even more with aging!"

Cryolophosaurus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, Aged Organic Studio created Patchouli, Black Patchouli, SL Crimson and only a drop of fine aged Egyptian White peppercorn eo. So, this was my first love of the Dinosaurs. I was pretty new to NAVA at the time the first collection came out, so I was still trying everything via decants before I sprung for full bottles, because I hadn't learned what worked on me and what didn't yet. I think I ordered decants of everything but Spinosaurus, because I had learned at that point that black honey and I don't get on. Still salty about that! Anyway. The decants arrived, and I tried them all out - and fell madly in love with Cryolophosaurus, and promptly ordered a full bottle. It's....what are words! I feel as though I'm going to be repeating myself here with this collection, but I'll do my best for y'all. The patchoulis in this blend are bright and sort of herbal, almost minty? I don't know if that's a proper patchouli trait, but as a bit of a hippie, I've been a lifelong fan of patchouli (thanks, mom!) and was exposed to the dark and dirty hippie type patchouli early on in life. This was the first time I was exposed to patchouli as a more herbal note, and I was absolutely blown away. I often find NAVA ambers to have a "fresh" sort of quality, and the two ambers used in the Dinosaur collection definitely seem to have that, so it keeps any of these blends from being overly dark. There's definitely a depth and a sort of stoney feel to each one of these, but as I've mentioned, that seems to come out more once you layer them with another perfume, and Cryolophosaurus is no exception. I can wear this happily alone, it's quite different than say Hessonite, which can be a little overwhelming if you're new to patchouli, the ambers lift this up and seem to give the patchoulis a different nuance. You don't get the red musk (Crimson) or pepper aspect very much until you wear this one layered, but those aspects come out and shine once you pair this with another oil. Also, this oil is red! As I've had my bottle for 2 years, there's definitely some resinous bits forming now, but I couldn't seem to capture a picture of it.

I could rave and rave about this one. Goals: If they bring this back as a Resurrection again this year, GET A BACKUP BOTTLE. Hah!

TL;DR A fresh, sort of bright, herbal patchouli. The nuances of the ambers, red musk, and pepper come out to play when you layer this, but you probably won't notice them while wearing it solo.

Layering suggestions: Try this with Kashmir, Crystalline, Amethyst, Santalum, Crystal, White Ambre Ombre. If you have Labyrinth Oudh, this pairs beautifully with that. If you are a patchouli fiend, you might try hatching it with Patchouli Ombre or Hessonite. I like it with Sekhmet Amber and Black Raven, also.

Diplodocus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Boswellia carterii Frankincense from United Arab Emirates and a drop of steam distilled Oman Frankincense tears we picked from the actual Frankincense tree.

Believe it or not, although I tried all of my decants the summer that the Dinosaur Collection came out, I did not really pursue full bottles of any except Cryolophosaurus. When I heard that the collection was to be resurrected last summer, I decided I needed to try my decants again, and came to the conclusion that I would have to acquire full sizes of all the originals that I had decants of - oh boy! And then there were new ones joining them. I was in trouble. So, I was trying to decide which of these I absolutely had to have, and at first, I had decided since I had Holiday Egyptian Frankincense, I probably didn't need Diplodocus. Well, I fell pretty hard for HEF last summer and found myself layering it with everything, and before I knew it, I had gone through a half a bottle. Panic set in, and I decided I was probably going to need an alternative frankincense, as it was a note I was falling more and more in love with. Diplodocus became a must have, and I am glad I was able to sneak it in my last order before the collection came down. As a stand alone perfume, this is pretty much a linear frankincense - albeit a lovely one. Beautifully woody, you could wear this alone if you were in the mood to wear a sort of single note frankincense, but this lends a wonderful aspect with so many perfumes, I prefer to layer it. Once I layer it with another perfume, the bright, resinous, stony amber comes out to play with the woodiness of the frankincense, and it's heavenly. The cacao is not a starring note, I can find it with my nose only if I keep sniffing, but it plays a lovely supporting role.

TL;DR A perfect frankincense layering note, it does well with adding a sort of grounding to perfumes that might ordinarily be too bright or feminine for my particular tastes, and is lovely paired with the SLs as well to create a duality.

Layering suggestions: Kobalt Dark, Santal Ombre, Egyptian Musk, Crystal, Diamond, or even to add a tad more frankincense to Ember. I've also paired this and love it with Gabriel, Eternal Egypt, and Ozymandias. I love it with several LC perfumes as well; Black Velvet, Black Crystalline Black Fig, Vamp, Anticipation, Blue Lotus, Snow Amber.

Pteranodon: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Pure Sandalwood left to age in the perfume, Santalum Gold, Santalum and a drop of Blue Santalum.

GODS. Gods. This was the one that made me sit up and take notice, why had I missed out on ordering a full bottle, and I need to rectify this immediately! All of the Dinosaurs are fantastic, versatile little workhorses when playing with layering, but Pteranodon became a quick favorite of mine, and dare I say? Yes, I dare, it became my favorite sandalwood thus far. Don't get me wrong, you'll be prying my gloriously aged bottle of SL Santalum out of my cold, dead hands, I absolutely adore Santalum White, especially when spring and summer roll around, but really I can see using it all year...but this, this is special. Samantha tells me that's because it has the most precious of precious, Santalum Gold. Since she sent me a little sample of her precious bottle, I can understand the obsession - there's something pretty amazing about Santalum Gold. It's a little more woody and resinous, more fully sandalwood than the new version Santalum. I love mine, don't get me wrong, but I can see why Santalum Gold is so popular that if one pops up in the secondary market, it is gone within minutes. Ah well, one day I will be quick enough! Until then - Pteranodon. Yes, I can and have worn this alone, and I absolutely adore it. I like it in my hair, it's one of my favorite layering components when I pair it with something and add a few drops of unscented hair oil and run my fingers through my hair. Hnnnnggg. It's hauntingly familiar, it reminds me of when I lived briefly in Minneapolis in the early nineties and I hung out in the head shops and the kitschy little knicknack shops of uptown and the fantastic thrift stores....ahhhh the nineties, it brings me a feeling of nostalgia, for that's when I discovered how glorious sandalwood was. Oddly enough, my mother is a darker creature, and I don't remember her wearing sandalwood during her hippie days, mostly patchouli and musk and especially dragon's blood. She was missing out, I tell you. This. This really evokes some strong emotions in me. So, once layered, again the ambers come out to play, and the cacao is there as a supporting note, but the star is the variety of sandalwoods. You really get a sense of the four once this is layered. I don't know what to say other than IF THIS COMES BACK AND YOU DON'T HAVE IT YOU'D BETTER GET ONE. I'll be picking up a backup. I might not be able to get my hands on Santalum Gold, but this will do.

TL;DR HNNNGGGG GORGEOUS INCREDIBLE SANDALWOOD.

Layering suggestions: Gods, it goes with everything. Seriously. One of my favorite things is to hatch this with a combination of Diamond, Crystalline, and Tibetan Crystalline. Alternately, I'll do Bloodstone, Egyptian Musk, and this (maybe some Amethyst too). It's fantastic with Ember Vanilla or from the LC, Phantasm Kiss. I love it with Egyptian Temple Oudh. Umm, Eternal Egypt, Bastet Amber, Raphael, Black Raven. Ambre Ombre, or even Santal Ombre. I love it with the OPs, Baba, Tawaret, Pakhet, Hathor. I've got a smidgen of my sample of Egyptian Peach Blossom left and it's lovely with that. Polichenelle. Cecilia, Adele, Music, Snow Amber, Patchouli Ombre. There hasn't been a layering combination with this one I haven't loved, so be adventurous. If a perfume seems a bit too sweet or floral, this makes a nice "grounding" effect. Just do yourself a favor and nab this if it comes back!

Tyrannosaurus: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, a drop of Cacao, Dracaena Draco of Morocco (Dragon's Blood resin) and Sangre de Grado Dragon's Blood.

One of the things I don't think I've talked about a lot is exactly how much I love NAVA's dragon's blood. I seem to like dark, red, resinous things quite a bit, I mean, Kashmir is practically my signature, followed closely by Bloodstone. So, what is their dragon's blood like? It's that perfect mixture of spicy and fruity. It's so, so well balanced. I don't really like it when a db note veers too much into either territory, leaving the other territory well behind. I want that combination, just a little spicy, just a little fruity, almost delicious. This is another workhorse. Alone, it's a beautifully resinous, juicy dragon's blood with a little kick of spice. It might be too dark alone if you're not into db, but layer this big boy - did Seth name this one well or WHAT? Layer Tyrannosaurus, and it becomes bright and lifted with the amber, and it's possibly even more beautiful than Bloodstone. Wait, what? Blasphemy. Okay, maybe not my bottle of aged, thick, glorious Bloodstone, but it's pretty amazing. Worn alone, T-Rex is a hint of the amber, and the two dragon's bloods. Layered, and he comes into his full glory, the amber comes out to really play, and that lovely supporting cacao becoes just a little bit evident, to give it a little more depth.

TL;DR: T-Rex is a big boy, and this perfume more than lives up to its name. I find it apropos that his scent is dragon's blood. Layered, he is just the right amount of resinous, spicy, juicy dragon's blood and glorious, fresh stony amber. Mmmm. Mm. It makes me hum with happiness.

Layering suggestions: Ember Vanilla, Ambre Ombre, Patchouli Ombre, Santalum, Ember, Black Raven, Mists of Arcacia, OP Anubis, OP Pakhet. From the LC, try it with Phantasm Kiss, Blood Moon, Egyptian Temple Oudh, Copal Oudh, or Pandora.

Utahraptor: Resinous Amber Accord, Limestone Amber, hungry chomps of Kashmir and Black Musk Absolutes, Egyptian Musk and a drop of Crimson and Sri Lankan Black Peppercorn eo.

Oh, Utahraptor. I've listed this last, but not because I love it least. In fact, I adore it, and it's quite versatile - different layering options bring out different facets of this one. I'm sure I've made mention of the fact that I really, really love NAVA musks. Kashmir is probably one of my favorite perfumes. So naturally, I had to have this. Worn alone, this comes across as mostly Kashmir, with a breath of Black Musk underneath, and the amber lifts it up - it might seem like a heavy blend, but it's saved from that by the beautifully clean Egyptian Musk and ambers. Start playing with layering, and while Kashmir, a bold red musk, remains the star, Black Musk and Egyptian Musk come out to play a bit more vocally, and I love that little kick of spiciness in the background of peppercorn. I'm a big fan of pepper in perfumes - Music is a great example of this, I feel, and it's kind of a surprising note, I think that many people would envision it from a cooking spice standpoint, but it's a bit different when added as a component of perfume. It adds a little kick, and it's quite fun. If you've never had the experience, I highly recommend giving it a chance. Anyway, enough about pepper, it's a supporting note here, and gives this "egg" a bit of pizzazz when you hatch it with another perfume.

TL;DR: Kashmir, a bold red musk, is the star here but plays beautifully with the other two musks, Black and Egyptian, when layered. Don't be afraid of the pepper. Despite the musk heavy blend, it's not nearly as heavy as you might think, the ambers lift and brighten this perfectly, and it's quite fun with a variety of different types.

Layering suggestions: Crystalline, Tibetan Crystalline, Santalum White, Egyptian Musk, Ozymandias, Pharaoh Anniversary, OP Baba, OP Set. For LC options, I absolutely am nuts over hatching this with California Redwood Crystal Musk. Also, Underlord Akhenaten, Pyewacket Cat, Pumpkin #2, Copal Oudh, Enigma, and it's amazing with the Byzantium Amber from their 9th Anniversary perfumes.

Okay, whew! That was pretty extensive, I am sorry for the wall of text, but I do hope you'll find my "hatching" suggestions helpful. This really did provide me with the courage to really branch out and become a layering fiend, and now I will layer various perfumes in with my unscented hair oils too, and I get a lot of compliments about how amazing my hair smells. Tomorrow, I'll get the second half of this posted for you, with last year's additions. From the first year, I do not have Spinosaurus, Stegasaurus, or Styracosaurus. Feel free to offer up your own layering combinations with these amazing perfumes! I want to mention one more thing in closing, these are another collection that do even better with age, they become richer and seem to come into their own even more. Have a wonderful evening!

Editing to add a note, and a link to part two! I forgot to mention previously, is that these are lovely when you pair them together! And I've done this several times with different combinations. Pteranodon with Protoceratops or Deinonychus, Velociraptor with Utahraptor, Diplodocus with Giganotosaurus, Protoceratops with almost anything! Hah.

Another thing to mention, if you have eNVie Saphir, many of these are stunning when hatched with Saphir. Definitely worth experimenting with - I have Saphir, Ambre Saphir, and Encens Saphir, and they all do well with the Dinosaurs.

[mylifeisdarkness]

*** WARNING ***

My response to this prompt is seriously dark, and has a sensitive dilemma. For those who may be sensitive to suicide and depression, my response to this prompt is not for you, and you probably shouldn't read this.

Readers should know that this is my outlet. Some of this response is actually personal, so please be respectful! There is a lot of emotion behind this. I am however open to constructive criticism. Perfecting the art of Writing is a small bucket list goal of mine, so any feedback to make the story better is highly appreciated

The response begins with a continuation of the last quote in the prompt:

"I don't care that I've only been awake for 2 hours. Those 2 hours have been agonizing. Besides, sleep is the closest thing to death..."

"I really wish you wouldn't speak like that"

He turns towards his bedroom door, clenches his fists and yanks his eyes closed. In a shaky voice, he responds:

"Yeah? Well I really wish life didn't suck. I really wish I didn't want to go back to bed the moment I open my eyes. I really wish the thoughts in my head you shut the fuck up. I really FUCKING WISH, that I could feel something other than internal struggle again. I really wish it would all just end, and I don't care how it ends."

His eyelids gently part and let rush a fresh wave of emotional tears.

"The worst part is that I don't want to die. I'm too much of a bitch to kill myself. So I have no choice but to fucking suffer. But I'm also afraid that I'm not going to be afraid in the future if this continues. I'm afraid that I'll wake up one day and not care enough to be afraid to die, and I'll just off myself. Maybe its bett-"

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!"

He turns around and opens his eyes. A gentle waterfall of salty tears rush to his chin and drip to the floor. She was crying now too.

"Stop it, please! I love you with all my heart, and I'm more than willing to do anything to help you! Please, let me know what I can do to make you feel better. I'll do anything!"

"Yeah? You'll do anything? Then let me fucking sleep. Can you do that for me?"

"Well, no. But -"

"Then you fucking lied. Don't tell me you'll do ANYTHING for me, but then don't comply."

"I'll do anything that will benefit your overall health, love. I understand you feel empty on the inside, but we have to deal with this in a healthier way. You can't just sleep all day!"

"I can, and I will. And you're mistaken on how I feel. It's not just emptiness. It's a draining feeling. The very life force inside of me leaves the moment I put energy into anything. I want to be able to go out and do things, like work my fucking job, but I physically can't. I'll end up hurting myself if I force myself... Which is why I've chosen to succumb to the feeling. I've surrendered my humanity so that I can feel normal. Me going back to bed right now is life shackling me to the ground, and kicking me in the gut."

He opens the door to the room and enters.

"Oh, and there is something you can do for me"

He walks back out of the room wiping his tears with one hand. In the other hand...

"I want you to take this and kill me in my fucking sleep"

He places it in her hand

"What the fuck, no- !"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP. I don't care about my health. Thanks for caring for me, but fuck off already. Its not helping either one of us. Now I'm going to bed. You can decide whether I wake up in a few hours or not. You can decide whether or not I suffer. I can't decide, and i hope someone i love can make that decision for me. I trust you. Don't forget to take the safety lock off."

He goes back into the room and cries himself to sleep. She falls to her knees, crying with it in her hand. She can't do it, and she's hysterical over the fact that he had it in his possession without her knowledge. She can't do this alone, he's too far to fix by herself. She leaves the house and buries it. Hopefully he didn't see. The shades are down, so it's likely he didn't. She goes back to his room and curls up next to him. The pillows are a little damp from his tears. She'll have to call for help in a few hours. She can't help him by herself. Sadly, he doesn't know that she feels the same way. She's just better at hiding it. She needs someone, too. But she found someone. He made her feel again. That's why she's so intent on keeping him alive. She wants to return the feeling of life the same way he did for her. She wishes it was easy as popping open his head and screwing down some loose screws. Fixing people is harder than fixing technology.

Little did she know, you can't fix someone who doesn't want a fix.

She took a nap as well. She woke up to a really loud sound. He wasn't next to her any longer...

His one fear came true: he no longer feared it. Her one fear came true: her fix is gone

They needed each other.

Maybe she should just off herself... nothing left to live for.

Maybe it's bett-

Writing Prompt #534

“I’m going back to bed.”

“You’ve only been awake for two hours?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”