#if theres a mistake stfu no there isnt

[willow-exe]

they so cute (the theatre looks like that because I started this before they went on the date)

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

my mom doesn’t think im autistic and then i write shit like, “yeah i look for patterns in my life but for some reason socializing and people never fit? why cant i apply other knowledge to being a person with other people”

[fallen-soul-starz]

i feel like i need to scream but i cant without changing how my mom sees me. she wouldnt actually care, she'd only tel you to stfu, you know that, you know that i guess i want that but idk, id make her feel like shit, she already has a lot going on. i hate being like i am, because these people i love and care about their voices are in my head repeating things theyd relistically say if i fucked up badly knowing how theyd react you know those voices are right, get a grip astrid im so enraged for no reason at all theres a reason theres a reason theres a reason, stop lying to yourself i want these people to care so much but why would they? bout tired of lying to themselves i guess. theyll talk to each other endlessly but when it comes to me, no, no no nononon ono no no non noo. im too messed up for that. im not worth it. they know getting close to me is a mistake. im a mistake. i want them to admit that those voices arent true but i doubt theyd even bat an eye towards it. if i get too close to someone, ill mess up, ill fuck smth up for them, theyll feel worse. im sick. and so fucking tired. i want to talk to lilac, just, something mentally is barricading me from talking to him and i hate it so much, because he means so much to me, hes the only one that seems to care. it hurts watching his messages go by and mentally it wont let me talk to him, like i enter into the text box and my brain becomes foggy and overwhelmed. theres something wrong with me. and with lavender, i want her to care too, even though theres no hope in it now, they treat me like im their past, oh well you deserve it and you know that, thats the deal with everyone. sunflower and black bat flower talk to me i guess, rather talk to each other though, i trust them so much and promise they care but im starting to think theyre lying, sunflower hasnt talked to me much anymore, guess i did smth to be less again. always tend to fuck it up. oh well. thats all you know how to do. stfu. they are liars. liars

my brain is looking for this person that'll care that isnt there, and even if they're there, my brain wont let me talk to them. i hate myself so much. i need to change. or die. thatll fix things. whats wrong with me? instead you sit here crying because youre delusional and your "friends" dont actually care enough about you, youre too much and youre going to jinx it soon enough, just kill yourself already, now wont you???

[myoeuvre]

umm...... pay this no mind i’ve just typed this stuff out like.. more times than i can count in the dms of everyone that i make watch inft and im tired of doing it over and over so im just gonna.. so i can just link this.. well anyway.

tbh this is just like. shit that i noticed and/or like personally speaking but anyway

my essay on why rymin is actually that deep

just gonna paste this one in here first of all. but anyway.

EXHIBIT A. the era stat being min and ryan's colors. blue for min who is stuck in the past and red for ryan always trying to rush ahead. meeting in the middle being the right answer in the end v-v

EXHIBIT B.  kez saying ""the colors are bold but the lines have hesitation" irt this painting. and whos palettes are in it? EXACTLY. need i say more? no.

AND EXHIBIT C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! episode 1: them and their palettes are separated by the door  in an incredibly noticeable way 

BUT in the last episode their palettes finally join e/o while they play on stage

LIKE everyone already knows theyre red and blue gays (the blueprint honestly) but i just am so in love with the way its shown in like. more than what they wear and is used thematically to represent them at multiple points. coughing wheezing... even their jumpsuits despite both being grey have cool and warm undertones respectively. 

Also just like the way in all these screenshots alone min is on the left and ryan on the right when we view chronological order in a left to right fashion this one is probably more coincidental but.. ugh...  ------

And another thing. can we talk about ryan’s cassette please? i wanna talk about ryan’s cassette. in the maze when min says “isnt that kinda the same as my dads van?” ryans response is one that suggests hes surprised min knew the song by mentioning his first album. so this makes me think “my dads van” wasnt a song they wrote together. BUT in the twin tapes when ryan plays it at the house party, min is shown playing it too on his mini synth. what does this lead me to believe? he listened to the cassette enough to memorize the melody and figure out the notes to play it in-turn. ------

Also so ummmm ryan’s family (giggles) five kids, and hes the middle child. shits doomed. he never even had a chance. and its not unfounded or like probably exaggerated on ryan’s part either. in the bug car when theyre in jail and ryan says its just min’s parents who would be worried, min just says “yeah…..” he doesnt say thats not true or im sure theyre worried. no. min is fully aware of ryans family situation and didnt bother for a second to argue it.

and in the gallery car one of ryans outbursts is “why doesnt anyone care about how i feel” bro this cant NOT stem from his home life. LIKE homie deadass has middle kid syndrome where hes used to getting his feelings shafted especially. but anyway teehee i’ve read into it more but i think imma just write my fic since most of it is speculative lol. ----

okay and also theres the queue car that i have extended thoughts about but the one thing in specific that i think about is like. how min acts in it. he makes me so mad i love him but goddamn...

just the condescending attitude but its so important to him that he be right. if its ryans number that means ryan messed up. if its ryans number that means min was right. if its ryans number that means min didnt make a mistake in giving up his dream. like he wants to be proven right so he can feel justified and not be hung up on the regrets he clearly had doing shit like playing his mini synth in his work bathroom. and as my friend said “ nobody ever does anything theyre normal about in the work bathroom“ spittin. fr. anyway stfu about them gay boys

------

AMELIA.

just a heads up there’s like. quick talk about implied suicide in this section but yeah.

what was her relationship with One? what caused One to get split in two? why in the turtle car when speaking in unison did one-one say its his fault cause he hadnt been better? how did amelia come to have a position of trust with One in the first place?

its clear One respected her thoughts. she is the one who influenced One into returning passengers belongings so that they can individuate themselves. she provided her human opinion to fill in the holes of Ones computed and inadvertently callous decision makings on running the train

oh book 5 how i long for you... but anyway.

this girl. had no reason to be on the roof of her college dorm after the death of her husband. NONE. we know exactly how important her time in college with alrick was because its the part of her life she wanted to replicate most despite the fact they graduated. this + in he ceremony her “yeah…” sounds really resigned as if she didnt want to be graduating (the beginning display of a pattern of being adverse to moving on persnaps….).  but this place is clearly important to her so it being the place she would attempt to take her life in grief makes sense to me. i also believe this was the intent of her being here from her saying im s1 ep10 that she doesnt want a life without alrick.

----

these are like. little details that i enjoyed a lot to contribute to showing how smart amelia is. like no one but her couldve taken over the train truly girlboss gaslight gatekeep amen.

amelias trick to play a tone into the receiver of the phone to control the network? thats what she does to control the steward. thats why her helmet beeped every time it moved or stopped. because she was issuing a command.

she implemented a fucking fail safe dude. she was not going to let anything stop her she was taking precautions. when tulip traps her in her tape, her helmet automatically starts to play an alarm. the steward not only ignores tulip but specifically goes to help amelia IM LIKE GIRL YOURE EVERYTHING.

----

i wanna. talk about the turtles. in s3 when amelia discovers that hazel is one of her failed attempts she mumbles something to the degree of “all because of that handkerchief" or w/e it was. “handkerchief?” you may be wondering? THIS ONE

after all these years she kept it. i can only be led to assume it was gifted to her by alrick. this is my gamer theory

-----

and about hazel irt amelia she is an attempted clone of alrick. shes not quite right obviously but she posses some of his memories even if she doesnt know why or where it came from. they exists within her almost innately her claiming she took dance classes? saying she knows amelia makes the best pancakes?

(heres a link to the other memories btw) haha.. ah..

----

the cat

these are like. the last two things that i think a lot about that probably wouldve been answered but real quick

i wanna know why simon is the only one who calls her that like she doesnt even introduce herself but that. hc that its because thats the nMe simon gave her like a child naming a pet

also i want to know why there was a negative connotation irt samantha’s attachment to objects when simon said “shes collecting again”

-----

okay but anyway obviously i have a lot more in-depth analyasis thoughts but this was like. more about small story telling details that i enjoyed. “why didnt you talk about book 2 at all” 🧍‍♂️ uh... i dunno. it started out as my fave book but its like my least favorite now after my 23rd watch of the show. i still like it but i dont think about it that deeply thats all. 

[lychgate]

did you have a favorite ep of code lyoko? it’s ok if u don’t

i dont know if i have a specific favorite but some in particular are:

code earth, like of cOURSE. that’s the sweet one where they bring aelita out of the computer finally, and the first time someone outside their gang really got to see the factory and be apart of the team for a while. there were these very close moments, that while every episode staged shit close, this one seemed to be a real nail biter for the suspense (IN RESPECTS TO CARTOONS AIMED FOR CHILDREN MIND U), like how they had to defend the tower to bring aelita in an all IT WAS A GOOD ONE. following that into a two parter, False Start is just as great, showing continuation of xana’s bs, now that he’s linked aelita and lyoko, so they can’t just straight up turn off the super computer. it also was the first episode to really show something that was always on another animated format, animated in the other, like how xana put his lil bugs and crabs into the 2d animated world. they do it much later when the kids are transporting across the globe in spectral form so u get to see their cool lyoko outfits animated 2d

a great day was a good episode imo cause it was that classic sci fi trope of ‘repeating day’ syndrome, where xana posessed the super computer to constantly keep flipping back to the beginning of the day. 

mr puck was a nice episode because to me it answered the most why aelita sort of took on the form that she did. paired with later episodes showing how her dad read her a lot of fairy tales, she was fond of fantasy stories, and her favorite doll was a colorfully dressed elf, which is what she basically took the form of on lyoko

missing link was also a good one! it’s enjoyable because its another change up in the format, this time xana attacking yumi for her materialization codes, and that she couldnt leave lyoko. it showed more aelita telling jeremy to stfu and making her own mistakes, and something i enjoy anytime its in the show, showing more to sissi then just being a smug butthole. she agreed to help ulrich and yumi with the picture day thing without really ‘needing’ any payment for helping, she just wanted to be nice. and in the end ulrich was nice back and KIDS WERE BEIN NICE TO EACH OTHER, I LIKED IT. i never think sissi is a bad person they’re all just moody teens but i s2g i would have loved to see her join them all on lyoko

marabounta was a really nice one too! i love thme all sorry sidfjoisdf but this also featured change it up ideas, jeremy created a new thing in lyoko, and ontop of that we got to see xana and the kids actually team up for the first time to eliminate a common enemy

FOLLOWING RIGHT AFTER THAT, COMMON INTEREST DOES THE SAME THING THAT I LOVE. the super computer needed JUICE and it had a lot of off and on suspense with aelita still being linked and constantly fainting to HAVING HER HEART STOP. ive got no idea how those kids busted her out of the hospital but i loved it

deja vu is an episode that shows more of aelita’s past, so naturally i love it. it also highlights that issue between her and jeremy, how he’s constantly doubting her ability to solve things on her own, trying to shut her up about shit she knows is real. theres a lot of episodes that just show the maturity difference between aelita and the rest, which we don’t really recognize until it’s shown that she’s in her mid 20s, just unaged since she was virtualized

franz hopper was another nice episode, where (secretly xana) takes on the form of franz hopper and turns the group against each other when he scans the kids and learns yumi’s got like, super freaky computer cancer. it was nice imo cause it wasnt an easy to guess episode, they played it well in making you assume for THE LONGEST TIME, that it was actually him, it was believable and even the part where aelita programs a fake her into lyoko. ADULT ME WAS SHOOK

CONTACT WAS A SUPER GOOD ONE. where Actual franz hopper posessed sissi to try and communicate code. she was all speakin backwards an shit and they had to bust her out of the hospital to get her to the factory, it also was the first episode to show a white tower, second to be anything other then a red tower (tip top shape prior to this, featuring a green tower jeremy activated to give steroids to odd)

the key, and the last 25 seconds of the episode before that was another amazing episode. it revealed franz hoppers diary, thus proving and revealing that not only was aelita REAL, that she was his daughter. it then dove deeper and showed his video diary, which gave HUGE REVEALS to a lot of things, talking about project carthage, how lyoko was originally a military program for hacking into enemy shit, the creation of xana, it had a lot of reveals i loved getting ot hear about, but still shook af from the reveal to aelita being alive. i know the voice acting isnt perfect but the line delivery/scene was really emotional imo and i loved it

nobody in particular was nice for a filler episode, i love all of them but i enjoyed the idea of ghost ulrich running around, then posessing jim to try and adult talk with all the other teachers

THERES A LOT MORE IM SURE, LIKE SO MUCH MORE BUT THESE ARE SOME

[adambstingus]

Make breakfast tacos, not war: Texas towns clash on who gets inventor claim

This week, in what San Antonians took as a declaration of war, a food critic wrote about how Austin became home of the breakfast taco and sparked major debate

Theres a war brewing in Texas. Not over guns, cattle or oil but over breakfast tacos.

The breakfast taco, for anyone who doesnt know, has all the ingredients of a great breakfast: egg, bacon, sausage, cheese and beans wrapped up neatly in a tortilla and punctuated with a pop of salsa on top. Its cheap, typically $1 to $3 per taco, depending on where you go, and its portable; a taco can be eaten with one hand.

In Austin, the breakfast taco is a source of citywide pride. From the transcendent migas tacos at Veracruz to the delicious bacon and egg taco from Marcelino Pan Y Vino, Austin has a plethora of fine breakfast taco options. Anyone will tell you that Austin is the official home of the Tex-Mex dish. Anyone who isnt from San Antonio, that is.

This week, in what San Antonians took as a declaration of war, food critic Matthew Sedacca wrote about how Austin became the home of the breakfast taco.

There are few things you are required to eat in order to claim youve actually experienced Austin food culture, Sedacca wrote. Quite possible the most necessary dish to check off on the culinary passport for your trip in the Lone Star capital, however, is the breakfast taco.

And thats when all hell broke loose.

Easy does it my dear cavacho friend Matthew, wrote one commenter. Head 90 miles south to San Antonio where breakfast tacos are king. Just because hip kids found the taco a few days ago after SXSW does not mean ATX owns the taco.

Austin is the little red headed brother of San Antonio, wrote another.

Best BBQ, Tacos and Mexican Food can be found in San Antonio. Everything in Austin is 2nd tier.

WHAT A CROCK OF CACA!! GTFOH !!! this is gentrification of the (San Antonio) breakfast taco!!, wrote another commenter, while someone called Adam the Skunk wrote GOODTACOS DONT COME FROM GENTRIFIED HIPSTERLAND.

One can see why San Antonio residents might be upset. Tracing the origin of the breakfast taco is difficult, but San Antonio feels particularly strongly that they were the first to make breakfast tacos a thing. Some angry readers voiced that Mexican taco stands were serving breakfast tacos in San Antonio for decades, while other said that the San Antonio chain, Taco Cabana, was the first to popularize the morning treat in the 1970s.

But the outrage didnt end there.

Someone in San Antonio started a Change.org petition to have Sedacca thrown out of an unmarked van well outside the boundaries of the state [of Texas], and a journalist at Orange County called on anyone who says Austin invented the breakfast taco to STFU. On Facebook and Twitter, Texans debated the issue; users began sharing the website whoinventedbreakfasttacos.com, which only offers one page that says in bold black letters NOT AUSTIN.

Petition on Change.org to have Sedacca thrown out of Texas Photograph: change.org

I took to Facebook to ask my fellow Austinites how they felt about this turf war and what people were saying about their beloved city. Many agreed that the breakfast taco did indeed not originate here The truth of the matter is breakfast tacos have probably been around since tortillas have been filled with food and consumed in the AM, said Mark.

Saldana, a native San Antonian and current Austinite, says many people feel that Austin perfected the delicacy. Elijah Godfrey, an Austin-based artisan and taco enthusiast said: Austin inventing the taco is irrelevant. Austin made it what it is. Breakfast tacos in Austin are like beer in Ireland or like pasta in Italy. Thats where you go to get the best ones. His opinion was seconded by Jason Davis, aka Jazz One, a local musician/DJ and taco reviewer: San Antonio may have invented it, but Austin perfected it, Davis said. (Underneath Davis response, former San Antonian Rachel Mehendale said: San Antonio may have invented it, but Austin gentrified it.)

Not every breakfast taco-loving Austinite feels as pointed about the delicacy. Mike Thompson, native Austinite and amateur taco critic, said: If youre truly from Austin, you never make the mistake that Sedacca did. Austinities, native Austinites, are a special breed. And we of all people know what it feels like to have others claim ownership of what you feel is your own. We are loving people.

Then Mike added: We should all make tacos; not war.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/make-breakfast-tacos-not-war-texas-towns-clash-on-who-gets-inventor-claim/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/183988060432