#if there's ever a day where there are no longer any SES supporters left
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d-lanx · 3 months ago
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saw someone post this on twitter and now I really miss his long hair
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crybabykiko · 4 years ago
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could you do the nsfw alphabet for atsumu please? thank you :)
Aw shit, here we go again...
NSFW Alphabet: Miya Atsumu
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gn!reader focused
A/N: She hasn’t written in awhile but you know what I’m proud of it- lol be nice to me or I’ll leave forever jk I won’t but still be nice to me ily 💕 Atsumu is a menace I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Obviously nasty below the cut so if you’re a kid fuck off
𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊
He’s not the best, but certainly not the worst. He will take care of you, but… only after he takes care of himself first. Usually that just means he needs to take a shower. Once he does, he’s free to supply cuddles until you both fall asleep.
𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙
He has abs so solid you could make a sharkcoochie board on them. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒
When Atsumu cums… he cums hard. It’s like having an out of body experience- every nerve cell in his body is firing off as he tenses up, digging his nails into whatever flesh he can grab, and grinding his heels into the surface supporting him. He bites down so hard his teeth grind involuntarily as his face contorts in a strained statuesque vision. One low growl from deep in his chest comes out through gritted teeth as he sputters out mixtures of “that’s it,” and “don’t you dare fucking stop.”
The orgasm face of Atsumu Miya is one of the 7 wonders of the world.
𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙
It’s not a secret per se, but he’s been exposed and clowned for eating ass… so he doesn’t wanna talk about it.
𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊
So contrary to popular belief, I don’t think he’s that experienced... he’s just lucky! (Lmaoooo all of his experience is based on like 2 actual people that he maybe got to second base with (he says third but come on we know he’s lying) and then a litany of porn. Poor thing just wants some coochie I AM HERE KING and he has no trouble finding it, he just never seals the deal. He’s someone who just kind of, knows what to do naturally. He’s able to read someone’s body by touch alone, and so he knows what you like right off the bat based on how you react. He might try a couple of things at the start to see what really makes you squirm, but once he’s got it... holy hell has he ever got it.
𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
I hate to say how easy this was- but I KNOW Atsumu is a guy who prefers doggy. I see him as a hair puller, so this is perfect for him. I also could see him being into mirrors, and this is the perfect position to make you look at what he’s doing to you, especially while he’s pulling your head back by your hair. He especially likes gripping his thumbs into the smalls of your back (he crosses his arms bc saw it in a porn once and he thinks it makes him look cool), and when he’s INTO it, he likes to smack your ass to encourage you.
𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞
Is goofy by accident. Like will sometimes try throwing in something new with his normal dirty talk that completely throws you off. He hates when you laugh at him for it, but you find it endearing.
𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗
I’m gonna… say something so controversial yet so bold:
What hair?
And yes I mean that. Smooth. He waxes. Monthly. No hair. (Besides like… legs and armpits… yah he doesn’t touch those) Naked mole rat dick but fuck it he’s Atsumu motherfucking Miya he can do what he wants.
𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈𝖞
While he’s not the most... romantic in general per se, he does want to make you feel appreciated. He’s very eager to get his, but he won’t allow himself to unless you have already. It takes restraint, but he cools himself down by having you get on top, or by leaving lingering kisses anywhere he can, saying you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on.
𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋
When he’s away from you he loves to send you videos of himself or FaceTime you. He gets you worked up enough to join him no matter where you are. He just needs to see you, he needs you to see him stroking his cock to the thought of you- he can’t cum without you telling him to.
𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐
I have to get this out but I KNOW he’s nasty. I imagine Atsumu as a huge dirty talker and also someone who’s into spitting. Both of those are just clear in my brain... like he would be pundinng you from behind, spit on your back, and then call you a slut all in 3 seconds flat but the way that you would cream? Ugh insanity he needs to be arrested he needs to be stopped
𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
Since he’s got money now- he’s a big fan of ordering Uber XLs or even just hiring a driver for a night on the town as a flex. But he especially loves telling his driver to put up the window partition while he annihilates you in the backseat. I just think he’s a fan of car sex in general- it just does it for him.
𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓
Loves to hear his name. Whether you’re moaning it or screaming it like it’s the only word you know, he’s always going to ask you who you belong to, and the answer is always Atsumu.
𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!
He totally eats ass. He’s just not gonna tell anyone bc he told Osamu ONCE and now his contact name is ASStumu and he lives in fear of that getting out.
𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑
Sloppppppyyyyyy. Loves giving ~slightly~ more than receiving, simply bc he loves the sight of seeing his spit dripping down your thighs while he goes down on you. Loves eye contact when you’re going down on him.
𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊
Though I wouldn’t say he’s super experienced, I know he’s relentless. He fucks. Literally just fucks. Not in the sense that he only treats you like a hole bc yikes, but in the sense that he just goes the speeds of fast or faster. There’s no slow with him.
𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊
Yeah. Lots of them. Anywhere, anytime. Particularly for him, a lot of them end up being in his car, simply because you’ll be out somewhere and the mood strikes. He’ll quickly take you out to the car for a few minutes, slut you out, and then return to the function like nothing happened. You’ve had many a quickie in a bathroom or closet in a party as well. When he wants you, he wants you, so he’s not afraid to take you.
𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐
Not as much of a risk-taker as people think. Mostly because he wants to protect you. He would hate for someone to see you in such a compromising position… but also, you’ve had your fair share of quickies in the bathrooms of various wedding receptions, so he’s lying.
𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆
Can last a decent amount of time, if he spreads it out over multiple rounds. I’m general, he can probably go about 2 or 3 rounds without needing a break. More if you draw out foreplay with him. He’s a pleaser, so really how long he lasts is up to you. He’s got the power and control to hold off on is own release until he’s certain you absolutely can’t take anymore.
𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞
One of those mfs who gets you the mold of his dick as a toy for your birthday for when he’s away because according to him “you’ll be so needy while I’m gone”
I hate him so much but I would use that shit every day he knows what he’s doing I’m so upset
𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗
Speaking of being needy- he loves to egg you on when you are. He knows all the buttons to push, but he’ll never actually make the move until you’re begging. And of course he loves to turn that around in you, hitting you with that “god, ya just can’t get enough of me, can ya?”
𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊
He’s more of a talker than a moaner. Not necessarily loud in bed- but very, very vocal. Commanding of you in a good way, and will definitely show his appreciation through praise.
𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉
Actually has a Cosmo subscription bc he likes trying all the strange and obscure sex positions in the articles. Also likes taking the quizzes, and will casually have you do them with him at breakfast.
𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞
he’s a little on the thicker side. Its probably a good 7 inches, so it’s enough to fill you, add in the stretch of his girth and it’s a good, mild burn when he first goes in, but he fills you just enough without it being way too much. He’s a shower, so he doesn’t get much longer, but you have a lot to work with. He also has a cute freckle on his left inner thigh.
𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌
His sex drive is on the higher end, but really only when he’s in his off season. When he’s actively playing in games, he tries to curb his appetite a bit because he believes in the superstition that sex messes with players’ stamina on the court.
𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟
He’s gonna knock out, but not until he showers. He ALWAYS showers after. The water soothes his muscles and by the time he’s done it’s lights out.
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missyasf · 4 years ago
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Game Of Hearts
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| 1 |
↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.
↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader
↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller
Word Count: 11k
___| Next
Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 
Side mention: This could be considered a prequel to the current Alice In Borderland. I’m writing based off the Manga bc I was a glutton and couldn’t wait no spoilers will be present as of...
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Escapism
noun
the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy ♡ 
You had known all about this during your short lifespan, as a child you’d often play pretend with your sister that you were movie stars living in a five star hotel rather than the shitty busted up apartment on the wrong side of town. Escapism came in, many forms. It was often a way for people to cope psychologically, simply because sometimes, facing the reality of your situation can be too much for one person to handle mentally. 
Or at least, that was the topic of your lecture today in class. The human mind always fascinated you. Even at the young tender age when your mom died and you watched your once cozy little family fall apart piece by piece until nothing was left in its wake. 
It was your fascination that drove you now for most things, why? Why, why, why? You always wondered what the motive was behind someone’s actions, not only thing but you wanted to  understand them better, to try and sympathize. You were already fairly intuitive in nature. It wasn’t difficult to read people. In fact your line of work made it easy, you’d watch a man who would be excited to be with you reach for his left finger as if used to touching something. A wedding band perhaps? 
The lowlife cheater was fairly common in a whore house after all. Or the man who had been pissy this morning behind you in line because you had decided to try something new on the menu and you weren’t fast enough, obviously because he was tardy and woke up late, his shirt unbeknownst to him was button the wrong way and his tie loose and even the way his hair fell were all signs of being late to work. 
It was the little things you noticed in people’s facial expressions, the way they moved and spoke. You could read people like a book, and sure sometimes it was useful. But you often wished you weren’t so perceptive. It drove you mad knowing when a potential love interest was no longer interested through a simple text or a friend not wanting to talk by their tone. Sometimes you wished you could just blot it all out, still, you lived like this day in and day out, you were used to this kind of thing and honestly. Friends? Love? Your gaze dropped a little to your feet, the pumps you were wearing a jet black and the heel too high for any respectable woman to ever wear. 
...It wasn’t like you ever had any of those in your life and you had struggled to come to terms with the fact that you could survive without that kind of support. Still...it made you envious, the couple happily holding hands on the sidewalk. The group of friends all laughing at a table while they studied. Oftentimes these feelings are muted, but when you’re faced with something you’ve always craved, those muted feelings suddenly become hyperactive in your mind. 
It’s pathetic, honestly. 
“How dare you! You disgusting slut!” 
In this moment however, you were brought back to reality at just what was happening, you squeaked loudly as you dodged the shoe the woman had thrown at you. This was all a regular occurrence, you had a lot of regulars who weren’t the most amazing people but hey, money was money. But along with them they also left a trail which their wives and girlfriends always followed. And then they always blamed you instead of their partner for leaving them for a prostitute despite you never having agreed to anything such as that.
It really wasn’t your fault, you were just trying to make a living while juggling with keeping up your own education, paying your fathers debts, rent and still somehow getting food on the table. What part time college job could provide that?
Prostitution wasn’t a job you would’ve gone into willingly but given the past and your trauma that was already laced in it you had been learning that sometimes because of the trauma we experience, sometimes people go back to that same trauma and actively participate in it as a way of feeling like they’re in control. 
That whatever happened before, would never happen again if you were in control. You weren’t sure if you qualified under this category, trauma came in many forms but the one most used as an example in your class was that a study showed that women who were assaulted often develop a kink for consensual non consent as a way of coping with what happened, except this time, it’s in a controlled environment where it can end the moment they want it too. 
Again, you weren’t sure you fell into this category, but you often wondered if your line of work was intertwined with your earlier memories when you were younger, if anything it brought comfort to you. Much of it, blotted out now simply because your mind couldn’t take it. Trauma expressed through amnesia was also much more common than many thought, and it’s so small, so easy to miss. After all how can you be aware of something if you have no memory of it anymore?
“Security!” Your manager screeched, two of the bodyguards were already between you and the feral woman who was ready to gut you clean as she screamed hysterically, her husband...your regular....at her side trying to get her to calm down only for her to come to her senses and slap him clean across the face. You didn’t condone violence, but he did have it coming...
You weren’t about to justify cheaters, you couldn’t imagine the hurt someone had to feel that not only did their partner cheat on them, but it was with someone...like you...You had been trying not to put down your job occupation, sex workers were just as valid as anyone else...you knew you would’ve thought this way if it was anyone but you in this position. 
You sighed as you ran your hands through your hair, watching the couple get dragged out of the tight space of the brothel, “Jesus christ....didn’t you say you stopped using perfume because of this?” Miki, your manager sighed as she crossed her arms. You didn’t want to say your manager was your friend but she was the closest you had as you’d often complain to her about most of your problems. Sex work often attracted broken people, it wasn’t something she wasn’t used to. 
“Yeah, but apparently he never got around to washing his clothes…” You wiped your mouth on the back of your hand, “Lipstick stain,” You glanced down at the ruby pink color that stained your skin now, “Fuck...that did hurt.” You rubbed your sore cheek that was still throbbing from where she had first slapped it when she ripped the door open of the room where she got to see with her own eyes you riding her husband. 
It had happened so many times now you weren’t even embarrassed about someone walking in let alone a partner. Miki gave you a lopsided smile as she patted your shoulder, “Guess that just pays for being one of the best here. Did you at least get paid.” 
You nodded, “Yeah, I always make them pay in advanced but I was hoping to get a tip afterwards...He was a lawyer so you know he had good money.” You sighed, crossing your arms, you were well aware of his partner because a lot of the time he didn’t even come in for sex anymore. It was funny how humans work. 
He often felt his wife was overbearing and you had suspected some sort of verbal abuse by the way he talked about her constant screaming. Truthfully, you don’t think he ever intended on cheating with her. He just wanted someone to talk to without being judged, you could relate with sympathy to that, but he unfortunately chose to walk into a brothel instead of a therapy clinic and this truly was the only inevitable outcome. Still, you hope if for anyone’s sake, he gets that divorce for himself. 
 “Hey I think I’m gonna call it a day. I need to get back to Nanami, she was wanting to talk to me about college applications.” You sighed as you rubbed your neck, ever since she had graduated high school she had been chomping at the bit to start applying for college, maybe to just get out of the house and into a dorm. You couldn’t blame her and if she did that it would lighten your load a little. 
Guilt washed over you at the thought as Miki chuckled, “They grow up pretty fast huh? My brother was the same way, except the moment he found out I was a sex worker was the moment he called me a whore and we haven’t talked since. That was probably about five years ago,” She crossed her arms as she sighed, ��Crazy how the things we do for the ones we love, never appreciate our effort...I’ll see you tomorrow then?” 
“If I’m not bruising.” You offered a weak smile as you nodded at her before going back to your room to get changed. Truthfully, you much like anyone else, often wished you could go to a world where reality wasn’t a concept any longer. Where you could lay out in the sun for the whole day and just soak up it’s rays with no worries or trepidations. 
But sooner then later everyone had to face their fears. Even you, you supposed. But no matter how hard you fought your demons, they always came back tenfold. Again, you supposed your story was no different from tens of thousands, and yet you all live on regardless. Maybe it’s you who should be the one seeking therapy. Pulling on your jeans and the cropped top over your head before pulling the jacket over your arms and grabbing your bag. 
The walk home was as quiet as ever, your hood over your head and earbuds any unwanted attention, it wasn’t too late at night, only eleven PM and your work had just been getting started but that had ruined the night for you and besides, you had already failed a test today, you could use the sleep tonight. 
Occasionally you’d hear the sirens of  a cop car passing by or a bystander shout, nothing out of the ordinary in this neighborhood. Walking up to the apartment complex you pulled the key from your bag as you unlocked the door. Quietly stepping insides as you shut the door before locking it once more. Your nose wrinkled at the smell of stale air mixed with rotten...something…
If anything, you were always lacking in something, you had been so busy most of the day that you never had time to clean anything leaving the house in a horrible state. Not that you thought this was much of a house. 
Walking down the narrow hallway you opened the rickety door with a missing lock as you gave a brief smile to the small clump of bedsheets. Your sister was curled up and on her phone, eyes darting to the door with a hint of fear before she jumped up, “Y/n! You’re home earlier from night shift already!?” 
You offered a smile as you set down your bag and nodded, sitting down on the mattress that laid on the floor as you replied, “Yeah, a coworker needed the extra hours so I let them cover for me tonight. Besides, you wanted to talk about college applications?” Your sister was under the impression your late night job was bartending at some hole in the wall downtown, where in all actuality you just went there to drink a few days and talk to the loud and sometimes obnoxious, but good hearted bartender who loved talking about his nerdy underaged friends that couldn’t do anything beside stay and drink soda. 
It wasn’t that you didn’t think your sister would accept you, if she knew what you were actually doing. Fear, most times came in many different forms and this was one of them. You simply didn’t want to be judged, even by her. So nobody in your life truly knew who you were, and therefore, how could you hold the expectation for people to accept you into society if you were already self sabotaging yourself? 
All philosophy aside, you were simply a lost soul, looking for your way in the cruel reality called life. 
“Yes!” Nanami was chipper as always as she squealed, clapping her hands, “I…! I was thinking about applying to the university you attend! Maybe I'll get a grant and move into the dorms there? I already applied for several jobs, I’m just waiting on a callback!” 
You offered a small smile as you hugged your knees to your chest, “I think you’d like it there, there’s lots to do around campus. But what will you go in for? The only advice I can offer is be sure it’s what you want to do.” 
Nanami’s face faltered a little as she hummed, “Well...I thought maybe working with animals? I’d love to be an assistant surgeon in veterinarian? I know it’s a pretty...sad job but...I really like the idea of being able to heal such innocent things.” Your smile tugged into a gentle one at your sister. She was too tender for this world.
It had been your goal sense the day your mother died that you took care of your sister, it didn’t matter what happened to you. You could rot for all you cared at the end of the day, all you wanted was to look up and see your sister's smile and her happiness in life blossom. She more than anyone deserved it. 
“I think you’ll be great at it.” You encouraged as you rested your chin on your hand, always happy to see her bounce in excitement as you yawned, your body was used to your demanding schedule but it was always more than happy to welcome a few extra hours of sleep.”
Hearing the door loudly slam close caused you both to jump, Nanami hurriedly crawled back in bed, pretending to be asleep as you frowned. Your dad must’ve come back home from wherever he was. 
“Y/n! Just stay here! Can’t you talk to him later?” Nanami looked scared, she always did when he was around. But you weren’t about to stand down to the bastard any day of the week, you offered a weak smile as you replied. 
“It’s fine Nami, I’ll be just a few minutes.” You replied, you knew that she knew, that was probably a lie. But you’d try your best, for her sake at least. But somebody had to put this guy in his place occasionally and it was always you. It results in a lot of screaming sometimes, other times he’d break down in tears or on a bad occasion you’d get shoved to the ground, a few times hit. Nothing major. 
Walking out of the room you leaned against the wall of the entrance of the hallway watching your father stumble around in the living room, “Did you finally talk to the loan company?” You called out as you asked, not in a forgiving mood tonight. He had said he’d do this for two weeks in a row. The company that sank your whole family into the ground. The reason your mother couldn’t take it anymore and put a blade to her wrist. 
Your father stood up, looking a little wobbly, obviously drunk, “Now listen here little girl I don’t have shit to own to you or anyone else.” You sighed as you tucked your tongue into your cheek, annoyance flowing inside you as you straightened up. You weren’t going to be bullied into being scared of this guy. 
“Actually you do,” Your smile twisted into something more sharp, more bitter and sinister as you walked forward, “See, if you hadn’t of gotten involved in something shady like loan sharks we wouldn’t be drowning in debt and mom wouldn’t have killed herself because of you and both your daughters wouldn’t hate you. I know you drink away all our money in some pathetic attempt to escape from the cold reality that you fucked up your whole life and watched your family slip from your fingers while not even trying to do anything other then put us in further shit,” You closed your eyes as you tilted your head, “But the least you could do, is admit that. You owe us at least that for being a total fuck up.” 
You opened your eyes to find pure rage brewing in your fathers eyes as you smiled once more, this time a false sense of sickly sweet tone to it as you shrugged, “Or you could live in denial, at this point, there really isn’t anything you can do to get anyone back ♡ ” 
You had turned around, planning to tell Nanami that maybe she should go sleep over at a friends house today but you never got the chance, suddenly being slammed into the wall and flecks of spit hitting your face, “I am your fucking father! I deserve respect from you and your worthless sister! Do you know how much I provide for you both?” 
Anger splintered through your veins as you grabbed onto his wrists, his fingers digging into your neck as you squirmed, “Like fucking what!? A shitty broken down apartment that your vacant from because you’re too fucking ashamed of yourself to even look at us sober!?” 
Much like years in the past you weren’t surprised to hear Nanami cry as she rushed out of the room at the sound of you both screaming, “Stop!” She cried out, trying to break you both up, “Stop! Don’t fight! Why…! Why can’t we all just get along!” She sobbed only for your dad to shove her down making her curl up in defeat. 
Alarm bells were triggered in your head at the sight of Nanami on the ground, she had never actually gotten hurt while in your sight and it was triggering something deep inside you as you watched him stalk up to her. Your hands shaking and rage boiling in your mind as you grabbed the closet thing you could find. An empty beer bottle on the table. 
Your vision blurred and you don’t quite remember what happened other than glass shattering over his head and the brute force of you shoving something before blood was stained on your hands. 
How did you end up sitting against the wall? Why was there….blood on your hands…? Your fingers trembled at the metallic sticky substance. All you could hear were Nanami’s sobs and cries as she frantically pushed herself away from the body slumped on the ground. 
“You…! He…!” Nanami’s eyes brimmed with tears as you heard a loud boom making you jump, your eyes darting to the open window where….fireworks, big and bold crashed and crackled before you felt like you were sucked into a vortex making your whole vision black out. 
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Your head felt fuzzy and there was ringing in your ears as you groaned, curling up into yourself as the darkness beckoned you closer before you forcibly opened your eyes. You were laying against the hardwood floor. Beams of light streaked through the window and you could see dust particles in the air against the shower of sunshine that streamed in. 
...Wait...Light? The thought had perplexed your head enough to make you push up from the ground, memories pulling into your mind as your breath became shallow, suddenly looking to the side where...you slumped against the wall. It must’ve just been a bad dream….your eyes flickered to Nanami’s curled up figure...a really vivid dream…? Something wrenched in your gut as you rubbed your eyes. What happened? “Nami…!” You whispered, forcing your muscles to move despite their protest as she whined. 
After another moment she reluctantly opened her eyes, flickering around before she suddenly scrambled up, taking a deep breath as if realizing what had happened before, looking towards where your dad once was she frowned, “...I...What…” She seemed just as perplexed as you and if her face was anything to go by, last night had obviously happened, “Is dad…” She looked at the absent place of the floor. 
Leaning against the wall your eyes darted around the room, “I guess so…” You silently felt relief at knowing your dad was still very much alive as you leaned back as you closed your eyes, trying to remember what had happened before everything went dark...oh..! The fireworks...had it been a celebration last night? Your brows pinched together, something felt...off...getting up you opened the door to the apartment walking out. 
“Y/n? Y/n! Hey! Where are you going!” Nanami called out, quickly chasing after you as you frowned, cars were parked odd and there was no one out on the street...as in...at all...Something was very wrong and you couldn’t figure out what. 
“Wow...it..must be a slow day…” Nanami felt a sense of discomfort at the lack of life as you both walked down the side walk, it didn’t just feel like a slow day it felt, apocalyptic. As if humanity just left on it’s own leaving nothing but an empty city behind. Cars were parked on the curb and a few even left in the street.
“No, it’s like everyone vanished...This is really weird.” You wrapped your arms around yourself as you frowned, looking around as you came closer to where typically it would be a booming part of the downtown but it was empty, just as everything before. 
“Well, maybe it’s a national holiday?” Nanami rubbed her head, trying to make sense of the situation just as much as you, surely everyone wasn’t...gone...right? She looked around as she bit her lip, second guessing herself at all the cars that were vacant, “Hey Y/n.” 
You paused as you looked at your sister, curving an eyebrow as she offered a weak smile, “What if everyone got raptured away like they talk about in christanity?” Your expression flattened as she giggled, obviously getting a rise out of you as you crossed your arms. 
Raptured? Where? To heaven? “Wouldn’t it be fire and brimstone then if that was the case?” Nanami pouted at your words as you shrugged, snickering yourself at her expression, the tables now turned as you sighed, “I don’t think there’s anyone left in Tokyo...I mean, it feels like...we’d have seen someone by now...right?” 
“Well…” Nanami frowned once more, a little disturbed at your words as she spoke, “There’s no way everyone could be gone I mean, where would they go? And how could we miss something like that...Maybe the police found us and now we’re under some weird simulation.” 
Chills spilled down your spine as you shoved her making her whine, “Don’t say that! That makes me feel all weird…! I didn’t…!” You cut yourself off, you didn’t what? Murder your own dad in cold blood...you looked down at your hands, they were free of any blood but it still felt like something like sin lingered. Like no matter where you went, it would always be stuck to you.
You didn’t like this, not one bit. Briefly you felt the urge to go hunt down your dad, he was a deadbeat but you would never...you’d never kill him....Right?
“Well…” Nanami hummed her eyes scanning ahead before they jumped to the mall that was up ahead, “Hey…! If nobody is here...maybe we could make use of it! Come on! Let's go!” You yelped at her grabbing your arm before dragging you ahead. Cars were all parked and yet not a single person exited through the mall's entrance. Something just felt off! You wrapped your arms around yourself as you warily looked around the empty mall, “Nanami I really don’t like this!” You looked around, concern bubbling inside you as she ran ahead into the store, digging through the section of clothes as she giggled. 
“Relax! I doubt any of this is real and even so…! Who’s going to stop us!?” She shrugged as she bounced in excitement, “Oh my god! I had dreamed of something like this happening! Now we can do whatever we want! Go wherever we want! Y/n!” She gasped with a smile, “Now we don’t even have to worry about money!” 
“We don’t even know if this is permanent.” You looked around warily, not partaking as she began plucking off the racks, “Regardless of what this is, I don’t like it. I want to go back home, our home. This just doesn’t…” You shook your head, “This just doesn’t feel right.” 
“Well you can feel that way!” Nanami clacked her tongue as she gave a childish smile, “But I’m gonna go through this whole store and get a new wardrobe so feel free to sit on the bench and tell me what you think looks good!” 
Looking away you sighed, unable to pinch the anxious feeling you had away as you sat down reluctantly as Nanami went into the changing room. Well...at least she was smiling and she was happy...With each outfit Nanami tried out and giggled, you giggled with her and maybe things weren’t so bad after all…
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“What a perfect day.” Nanami hugged you close as she sighed, yawning as you looked up at the sky in awe, you had seen a single star while living in Tokyo before, but now it was filled with constellations and millions of stars that stretched for miles. You could stare at it for days and days. The sun had just set a little over half an hour ago and you were ready to retire and find something to eat at the apartment. 
You and Nanami had tried going to the food court but much to your dismay everything had been...rotten...soiled and ruined, meaning there was no point in trying to find anything there and you were getting really hungry despite devouring bags of chips you had both got at the convenient store, another thing that stood out to you was that there was no electricity...at all..
Looking back up to the sidewalk something caught your eyes...was that…! Light!? “Hey! Nanami look!” You shook her making her squeak as she looked up ahead, “It’s the hospital! They have electricity there which means there’s other people! Of course! Why didn’t we think to check essential areas!? Come on! Lets go! I wanna figure out what happened.” 
“Alright! It sucks that this is already over but at least I can finally charge my phone, the battery is pretty low.” Nanami nodded in agreement as you both made your way up the road. 
The walk wasn’t too far and you felt excitement fill you at the sight of the hospital all lit up as you walked into the entrance, a frown slowly setting on your lips once more as you walked past the receptionist desk and…! Oh there’s other people! 
You felt relief wash over your as you ran up, there were at least seven other other people here at least! “Hey! Guys oh my god. I thought everyone was gone! What’s going on?” You asked, smiling bright in relief that you and Nanami weren’t the only ones left behind. Was this some kind of evac point or…?
Silence ensued and you slowly began to frown as you felt everyone stare at you as if you were insane, “Um…” You wrapped a hand around your arm, suddenly feeling as if everyone knew something you didn’t, “What’s going on…?” You furrowed your brows as you tilted your head, unsure of why everyone was looking at you like this. 
Somebody looked like they were going to talk to you, a guy relatively around your age but a woman stopped him- his girlfriend maybe? “Stop, the less that know the better chance we have.” She said quietly though you still heard just enough. Fear twisted inside you as you took a cautious step back...The...the less you knew? 
“Wow, you guys are assholes,” A girl suddenly whistled out, she was sitting in a waiting chair, a cowboy hat on her head paired with distressed jeans and...a bikini top? Strange but you’d roll with it if it meant getting answers. She stood up as she offered a smile, “Akari, nice to meet ya’. You folk must be new to the Borderlands huh?” She jutted her bottom lip a little as you frowned. 
“Um I’m Y/n and this is my sister Nanami...?” You introduced yourself despite feeling confused as you raised a brow, “Borderlands…?” You echoed, what was that supposed to be? Other than Tokyo?
Akari gave a nod as she let out a brief chuckle, as if amused by your confusion but you sensed she had no real ill will unlike....your eyes checked to the couple that stood off in the corner on their own, “That’s what they call it here,” She nodded in affirmation as your eyes darted back to her in confusion, “To be frank with ya’, I don’t have a damn clue what's going on. Nobody does. But ever since you crossed the threshold there’s no going back, so I’ll be brief. We’re all considered outsiders here and we participate in games at venues such as this to extend our stay.”
Nanami and you looked at one another confused as Akari waved you over to the table in front of a TV, “Here, you’ll wanna put these on, it’s for the game.” She explained as you carefully picked up the metal bracelet, something about it felt ominous as you reluctantly put it on, jumping at the way it latched together and there was no getting it off now, “Word of advice, just don’t panic and you probably won’t die.” 
“What?!” You screeched as Akari smacked your back, panic evident in your voice as you turned around to face her making her laugh again, this girl was insane! She had to be! “You’re…! You’re joking!” 
Akari wrinkled her nose as she tilted her head, “Ah shit, I wish I was- Oh…! There’s the last player!” Just on que everyone turned to look at who had arrived, someone heaving breaths with their hands on their knees as if they had sprinted. You were mildly worried at why he seemed so scared but you had a feeling that was the least of your problems right now.
“Y/n what’s going on…?” Nanami frightened grabbed your arm as she hid a little behind you due to all these immensing strangers that looked like they were ready to feed you to the sharks, literally. 
The guy walked past you both as he put on his bracelet, your eyes sharp as you watched it latch together automatically, your gaze jumping to everyone's wrists to notice you were all now wearing one. The TV suddenly lit up. 
Game 
You squinted your eyes a little at the sight of the screen, just what were you about to unwillingly participate in…?
Difficulty: 5♣
“The game you will be participating in is, Monster under the bed.”
A playing card? Monster under the bed? Your brows furrowed as you looked at Nanami who shrugged a little despite her concerned expression, looking just as confused as you. You could’ve made a joke out of this, surely it would’ve been easier. Maybe everyone would bust out laughing and you’d be at the end of a poor joke but...somehow you felt that wasn’t the case. Thus paying very close attention to whatever was on this screen, 
“Everyone will be sectioned off into pairs by the number chosen on your bracelet, when the doors to the ward open you will have three rounds ten minutes each to figure out who is the monster under the bed that must be returned to its own, once the ten minutes is up you must hide before you are found. If the selected pair that is the monster is chosen correctly it’s a Game Clear.  If the monster is not found by the end of the third round or if the pair fails to hide it’s a Game Over.” 
Rules: 
Once the doors are open you and your partner must find a hiding spot by the time limit
Both partners must be hidden. If one is exposed to the monster it’s a Game Over for both partners
There will be an X marked on the ground to place the monster of your guess onto. 
You will have three rounds of ten minutes each to find the monster.
Any attempt to remove bracelets results in a Game Over
If the monster is not found by the third round a Game Over.
The only Game Clear condition required is for the monster to be returned by the third round.
What…
What!? 
“Now the game will commence, you have five minutes to figure out who you have been paired up with before the doors open.”
Your mind was blanking as you watched everyone look down at their bracelet, hurriedly you lifted your arm as your mind blanked 2 looking back at Nanami her lips were already quivering as she sniffled lifting her arm in defeat as your lips dropped open, 5.
“Hey! Guess you’re my partner!” Akari grinned as she wrapped an arm around Nanami who sniffled, “Oh…” She looked between you both, “Oh! Oh don’t worry! We’re not the monster so I’ll make sure your sister lives! You should go find your partner.” 
Your hands trembled unsure of what to do before you went to hug Nanami, “Whatever happens just stay calm okay! I need to go find my partner now!” You whispered, kissing her cheek as she sniffled while nodding. 
Everybody was shuffling around looking for their partner now, you passed by a few people, 4, 1, 3...did you even have a partner…? You scanned around, your throat tightening a little in panic, there had to be a mistake! There were only 8 people surrounding you- you yelped at the tight grip that suddenly held your arm forcing you to turn around to be met with a white hooded figure, a lollipop handle hanging and earbuds in before sighing, “So it appears I’m stuck with someone useless.” The man concluded as he stood up making you back away a little as your lips parted somewhat indignantly. 
How...how rude! You looked up, unable to fully make out his face but you could tell you didn’t like him one bit, “I’ll…! First of all I’m not useless! I’m just trying to understand what's going on! This is insane! We aren’t actually going to die from this, are we!?” Pushing his hood down you were immediately met with a snide gaze and cat eyes that leered at you like you were nothing more then dirt beneath his feet, long blonde hair pushed behind his shoulders and his bangs hanging low, suddenly a viscous side smile appeared on his lips, “Apparently so, otherwise I wouldn’t have watched half my last game get their brains blown out and the other half hung.” 
You reeled a little away from the blonde, your face dropped in semi horror, unsure if this was just a sick joke or he was serious. You searched his face a thousand times over, but for the first time in your life, you couldn’t figure out what his goal was. You couldn’t figure out anything about him, except he was exceptionally cold, “Well I don’t suppose I have much choice to doubt you,” He said with an annoying sing song tone as he rattled his wrist that showed the bracelet with a matching 2 on it, “My name is Chishiya, just stay out of my way and we’ll both live.” 
How arrogant! You scoffed as he walked past you, not the least bit bothered at your offense as you whipped around, glaring at his back. How come out of everyone you got stuck with the most…! Pompous! Arrogant! Ugh! You crossed your arms as you followed behind him, stilling secretly sending daggers into his back with your eyes as everyone shuffled into the ward. 
Hospital beds were scattered around the room, a few closets and one large vent at the bottom right corner of the room ahead. 
“Wait, what is this?” The first person to speak was a fair thin older gentleman, he appeared friendly as he observed the room around him, everyone looked around in confusion as you noticed what he meant. 
Any possible hiding spot was covered by either sheets of metal or locked tight...How were any of you supposed to hide if…!? The rules mentioned nothing about solving puzzles to gain access to a hiding spot!
“Forget that,” Another man said with a sneer he was broad and a bit older, well into his late twenties at least, perhaps a gym coach? Or maybe a wrestler of some sort? He looked like he could break you and nearly every other person in this room like a twig, “We need to figure out who’s the monster. “ He cracked his knuckles as you leered a little away and nobody spoke for a second. 
Of course, who would out themselves as the monster, more importantly, how does one even know they’re the monster? You could immediately feel tension rise as the previous, more patient man spoke, a little more collected, “How about we just check one another's’ watches! If anywhere it would show us on that! One pair should work on solving these puzzles here so everyone has a place to hide” 
“Unless the monster is among us and it sabotages us so we all die by the time limit.” The girlfriend crossed her arms as she darted her eyes around. Truthfully you didn’t know what to believe, the wording on the soundbox was rather confusing as to just what were you looking for. Was the monster supposed to be in the group or it’s own entity?
“If that were the case it would’ve showed up on our watches, which it didn’t. So that won’t work.” Chishiya spoke matter of fact, his tone cool as his eyes gazed across the room before he walked away from the group inspecting various hiding spots granted you didn’t think he was about to help anyone but himself, if anything you were at least lucky that him securing a hiding spot meant it was one for you as well. 
You looked at everyone in confusion, some arguing while others scattered to look for a hiding spot as the clock ticked down. You breathed in relief at the sight of Nanami and Akari both going for a bed to hide under. Your gaze finally found Chishiya’s form before following him, unsure of what you were supposed to do, if anything outside trying to figure out just what the monster even was. 
You glanced up at the digital clock that stood above the entrance you had just come in from, it was already a minute in before you searched the floor where you found a red X in the center of the room, that must’ve been the...what? Offering spot? You cringed a little at the idea. Looking forward you peered behind Chishiya’s shoulder deciding to not think about that, it seemed the metal sheet that had wrapped around the bed and was sealed to the ground was locked by some sort of metal device…? Contraption? Lock?
“Isn’t hiding under a bed a bit obvious…?” You frowned as you crossed your arms, unsure as you looked behind your shoulder once more to where accusations were already being thrown in the group. 
“The vent is a decoy to make you waste time, I already checked,” Chishiya replied, his fingers nimble as they rattled the metal, “And even if someone were to accomplish it in the time limit it’s the most obvious spot the monster would first check. Next would be the closet given it’s at eye level and the first thing one is drawn too when they walk into a room.” 
Your lips parted a little in surprise at his assessment...obviously he wasn’t just overconfident, “And why this spot?” If he had really thought about all this in less than a minute then...did he have a reason for this spot? You now found yourself, slightly less annoyed and a little more curious as to what was going on in his mind. 
“If the monster were to check a bed it would be after his eyes are drawn to the closet. Next in that line of sight would be the vent directly across it, which would be his next place to look if not his first and vice versa. The beds are all staggered throughout the room making them less conspicuous compared to the other hiding places, the bed on the far end of the room would be no good.” 
Your brows furrowed in curiosity at his assessment as you watched Chishiya blow a piece of hair from his face, wiggling out one piece of the knotted metal, “It’s too far from the entrance where as the one in the middle is by average the one most people would start with, where as the first? It’s almost too soon in the start to look there thus making it the safest.” 
“It’s them! They’re over there conspiring!” You both twisted around to watch the broad man point an accusing finger at you both as your eyes darted from him to the clock on the wall, which read at six minutes. A few other pairs, relievingly so was your sister had started working on a hiding spot while a few others stood around and argued. 
Your face coiled a little as you replied, not appreciating the accusation to such a baseless accusation, did they not realize the longer they argued the less time they had to secure a hiding spot? “Someone who’s terrible at playing the minority would often be the first to point fingers. There’s only six minutes left before the first round is over and we need to hide. But if you want to talk about this then sure,” 
You stepped closer as you crossed your arms, scanning over him before continuing, “Let’s talk about the chances of you being the monster, ever since you first came in you’ve been all twitchy and acting like something is wrong. Even when we first got paired up, you seemed a little panicked. Anyways,” You turned around as you spoke, “How do we know one pair is a monster and not one single person?” 
“Eh,” Akari sat on the bed that her and Nanami chose as Nanami fumbled to work out the puzzle, she had always been good at those! You felt assured as your heart beat frantically at the idea of them not being able to get a hiding spot in time, “Let’s all calm down,” She gave an awkward laugh, “This isn’t a hearts game, we shouldn’t divide our trust. This is a team building after all which means this game should be making us work together, the last thing we need to do is throw that away on our own accord.” 
“...Team building?” You frowned as you murmured having not been aware that this was some sort of game category...Hearts? Clubs? The memory of the playing card flashing on the screen appeared in your mind again, right...was that to stand for some kind of game genre? If Clubs stood for team building then...there should be no reason that the monster is any of you. Why would they even suggest that to begin with?
Then...what was the monster? 
“One minute remaining.”
The lights suddenly began flickering, “Got it.” Chishiya yanked the last piece of metal undone as he pulled the sheet of metal off, everyone was now scrambling and the few who had not done their puzzle were now panicking. Getting down you crawled under the bed, your back flat to the ground as you inhaled sharply as you noticed the lights beginning to dim, “This is...uncomfortable.” You mumbled, trying to ignore being pressed shoulder to shoulder with a man you didn’t even know besides him having a god complex, “We should’ve went with the vent.” 
“By all means, if you want to try and get yourself killed already. Go for it.” You turned to look at him, dark endless cat eyes meeting you as you harshly glared at him, why was he so condescending!? 
You were about to snap back something before you realized it was completely dark and the door slammed open causing you to jump. Was your heart always this loud? You could see the heavy boots step against the ground making you unsteadily inhale, swallowing as you closed your eyes. You could only place your trust that Chishiya hadn’t picked a horrible spot. 
More importantly your mind was plagued with worry for your sister, you had been so caught up you hadn’t even tried to help her yet...did she even…! You heard a sudden loud scream from two people causing you to stiffen as you looked up at the bed frame lined with wooden planks. You could only cower back down at blood suddenly painting the floor.
Your stomach suddenly churned as you covered your mouth. So he wasn’t lying. Chishiya however looked just as nonpulsed as he did when he first told you himself, his eyes blankly staring up at the bed frame as if this was just a regular game of hide and seek as people screamed as they were torn apart. 
Or that’s at least what you assumed it was. 
After an agonizing few minutes the doors finally closed and the lights flickered back on making you breath in relief as you waited a moment, could you even bear to face what was waiting on the floor? You winced a little before something caught your eye. What was with all this extra wood stuck in the frame? 
Chishiya had already gotten out from under the bed and before you suddenly heard a few girls scream, your sister among them making you puff and breath as you scrambled from beneath the bed.
Standing up your mouth agape at the horrid sight of the female and the broad male that had been too focused on accusing others, they didn’t have...enough time...it looked like they had been completely mutilated, blood pouring on the floor and the smell made you want to gag as you looked away. 
“Well, now what do we do.” Akari scratched her head, also not looking phased that two people had just been brutally killed. Your eyes stayed placed on the bodies before they slowly trailed to your hands, the memory of blood staining them still fresh in your mind. 
“Well we have to figure out where the monster is?” The girlfriend of the couple spoke up, she looked around somewhat suspiciously, “But I’m not sure where we could find it? Maybe it has to do with the bracelets? Maybe there’s a clue hidden.” 
“Oh what about in the cabinets?” The collected man from before offered as he went to search the cabinets, your frown furthered as you glanced around. Everyone was now getting along, still on edge but along at least. 
Chishiya only leaned against the wall, his hands in his pocket as he rolled the lollipop in his mouth, his gaze the same steely one it was before as if he had done his job in securing his temporary salvation and was now done. 
Or maybe he just didn’t know what to do? It was obvious his strength didn’t lie in teamwork, clearly. But then again, you weren’t sure what was going on, you couldn’t get a read on him. Crossing your arms you stayed beside him, your eyes briefly washing over your sister who was working Akari to dig through a desk together. 
“Cabinets and drawers are too obvious.” 
Chishiya’s eyes flickered to your figure, his expression just as cold if not...a little smug maybe? He said nothing in return as you continued, “If we’re looking for a monster, it’s obvious it’s a metaphor for something. Inanimate most likely,” Your eyes flickered around the room, inhaling sharply, why did it feel like the answer was right in front of you? 
Think…! You glanced at the clock, only six minutes left. The rounds were really short…! “It’d be something small and inconspicuous, something that’s in plain sight….but easy to miss...and the game said it was a pair which means there’s more than likely two.” 
“Three,” You glanced at Chishiya as he spoke, pulling the lollipop from his mouth, that permanent smug look on his face as he answered, “Two is what they want you to think and if you spend a round searching for each like they hope it’s game over by three.” 
You rubbed your neck as you frowned, “It’s already the second round and we haven’t even found one…” You glanced around before you suddenly perked up, “Wait…!” Getting back down on the floor you laid on your back as you pushed yourself under the bed, “Chishiya! Help me get this thing out!” 
Within a moment the blonde appeared as well, his eye sharp and keen as they noticed straight away what you were tugging at, “You think this is the monster?” 
You looked at him as you raised a brow, “We have less than four minutes left on our second round, you have a better idea?” Chishiya said no more but helped regardless, successfully with the both of you maneuvering it around from beneath the wooden boards you managed to get it out. 
Holding it up you looked at it, “It’s a poppet doll.” You turned to face him as you smiled in accomplishment, “They’re typically used as curses to place upon people in folklore. If anything is a monster, this would be it.” 
Excited at your first victory you pulled out from beneath the bed as you waved it up, “Hey guys! We need to start looking for something similar to this! If not a replica.” Everyone huddled around you examining the doll before the microphone sounded, “One minute remaining.”
Everyone had immediately scrambled back to their hiding place as you ran to the red X, placing the poppet on it, that's the reason that had to be there right!? You’d just have to see, hurriedly you ran back to your spot under the bed. Making it just in time as the lights flickered off. 
The door slamming open once more as you slowly inhaled, it had to work right? If not...then you were at a loss for what to search for and you were utterly screwed. 
The boots stomped against the floor past the bed as you closed your eyes, unable to calm yourself. After a moment you heard a screech and something rip open before screams followed making you jump. Chishiya’s eyes were on the feet that stood by the closet that had been obviously ripped open. 
You heard the sound of something wet and a gurgle before a body slumped to the floor and you could hear begging before something got snapped in half causing you to close your eyes once more...Did you make it angry!? Was that not it? Fuck. You had never felt this stressed before as it roamed around, passing in front of your bed as you tensed.
Was this your last moment alive? Truly? 
Much to your relief, the door closed once more before the lights followed, flickering on, relaxing a little you sighed as you reluctantly got out from underneath the bed with Chishiya to see what had happened. Much to your horror it was the man who had been so kind this whole game and his partner. 
The monster didn’t check anywhere in the first round, yet he did this round? You tried to block out the bodies slumped in the corner as you glanced at the red X, the poppet doll gone. 
“Why- why were they killed!” Nanami’s eyes began to water as she grabbed her head, “This makes no sense!” 
“If it accepts the doll that means we only need two more. What happened to them is irrelevant.” Chishiya stuffed his hands back into his pocket as you glared at him sideways, not appreciating his careless tone. You could deal with it, but you didn’t want your sister dragged into it. 
Grabbing your chin you thought about it for a moment, “Well...the game said to return the monster to its own and…” You glance down at the X, was there some kind of unsaid rule that if you didn’t get all three of them on the first try that it would start hunting down players? “How would a mother feel if they only returned one of its children?” 
“This thing doesn’t have feelings,” The girlfriend of the partners replied coldly, her eyes like steel of her own as she clung to her boyfriend, “It’s as he said,” She waved to Chishiya, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll be like them if we don’t figure this out.” 
You glanced around the room, “Tell me this, if it doesn’t matter, then why did they give us all these different hiding spots?” Everyone was silent, all eyes on you as if your question didn’t make any sense, your eyes flickered to the clock that was nearing eight minutes, you didn’t have time to monologue, “No think about it. The monster never intended to look for us- that was never stated in the rules. So why did they give us all of these choices if we only needed one per pair? My point being, if we found one poppet in our hiding spot then...You get where I’m going with this? Chishiya.” 
He glanced up at you acknowledgement as you curved a brow, your lips threatening to tug into a smile as you tilted your head, “How confident are you in solving that vent?” 
He glanced back down and for the first time, you watch a cocky wide smirk twist onto his lips, “You’re lucky to have someone as smart as me here to be able to open it.” You tucked your tongue into your cheek as in annoyance as he sauntered over to the vent already getting to work, “As for everyone else, we need to open up as many of these as possible to find the other two.” 
Everyone immediately scrambled to get to work, with only seven minutes on the clock this was...going to be difficult. First Nanami and Akari searched all the opened spots as you worked on another bed. Rubbing your head as muttered, “Shit...I never was good with puzzles.” You awkwardly hung your head in defeat temporarily, briefly letting your eyes shift to Chishiya who was fiddling with several locks, his gaze sharp and you couldn’t even imagine all the calculations going on in his mind. You were somewhat envious of what it would be like to be that perceptive to anything adhering to logic and solution. 
“Aha! Found one!” Akari yanked the poppet from the top of the closest as Nanami covered her mouth, looking like she was gonna throw up being so close to so many dead bodies. You ignored the grisly sight at the second victory of the poppet doll. Akari quickly placed it on the X as you began to work on the puzzle once more, looking up at the clock. Oh no...Oh no there was only three minutes left!
“Chishiya! Hows that puzzle coming along.” You called out, trying not to sound alarmed but you could see the clear cut annoyance on his face as he continued working through the locks, “If you’d like to help while struggling on a novice lock feel free.” He replied condescendingly, not appreciating the pressure. 
You rolled your eyes with huff as you finally managed to get it undone, feeling triumphant as you searched under the bed but there was no luck, “There’s nothing here!”
“Or here!” 
Several people called out as well as you rubbed your head, standing up, “If the only other place that hasn’t been searched is the vent then maybe there’s only two? It did say a pair.” You felt a lump of anxiety well in your chest at the sight of the clock ticking close to a minute and half. 
“Should we really take the risk?” The boyfriend asked as he rubbed his neck, concern on his face as he looked around, “If we’re wrong then we’ll all…” 
You hadn’t even thought of that…
“...! Hey.” You turned to Chishiya who seemed to be trying to get your attention making you immediately come over, if he was asking for you it’d have to be for something important given there was nearly less then two minute on the clock, “Hold this right here.” He immediately pushed your hand onto the lock right where he wanted it, “This is a two handle mechanism meaning that there needs to be two people unlocking it. Push down and out at the same time.”
“Hide! Everyone needs to hide now!”
The lights were beginning to flicker as everyone scrambled to hide, stress evidently put on your shoulders now more than ever. You could only hope he was right with your life on the line, “Now!” You pushed down on your side, the lock sliding as you pulled out, pulling a piece of metal holding up the lock directly out as Chishiya did the same with his side. 
The lock fell off as well as the metal of the gate of the vent, you immediately with no hesitation leaned inside it was dark and hard to make it out anything besides the steep drop off. So he was right, this was a waste of time for a hiding place. 
Looking down you caught sight of wood before laughing in relief, “It’s here! Wait shit! Chishiya! It’s too far down in the vent, you’re gonna have to lower me down to reach it. Time?” 
“Forty five seconds.” You felt unfamiliar hands on your hips lifting you up as you were lowered down, “We have time.” 
You squinted trying to see as you reached down, “Lower me further! I’m not quite in reach,” Your muscles began to ache in your shoulder as you reached harder, growling in frustration, “Time!?” You were lowered a little further, the wooden poppet brushing against your fingers. 
“Thirty seconds! Could you go a little faster?” 
“Could you lower me a little quicker- Ah! Hey did you almost let go!?” You snarled back, grabbing the poppet doll, giving a good yank as it lodged in between the crevice it was in, “Get me back up! I got it. Time!” 
“Twenty seconds.” Chishiya called back, pulling you up as you gasped, pain from the metal jabbing into your stomach evident as you were met with a darkening room. Setting your feet firmly on the floor your eyes flew to the flock fifteen seconds and your spot was all the way across the room….! 
“Where are we supposed to hide!? We can’t get all the way there in time!” You hissed out running to the X as you dropped the poppet down. The lights shut off as the final five seconds counted down and before you could do anything you were shoved to the floor as you squeaked. Your body throbbing in pain and your mouth immediately covered as you were met with the coverage of a bed but neither one of you were bold enough to try and scramble beneath it as the doors slammed open. 
Fuck.
Your whole body was tense as your eyes squeezed shut, you were just a little ahead of the X here, if this is all the poppet dolls...they’d have no reason to go further into the room...unless...Your hand squeezed tight around the wrist of the hand that covered your mouth as you tried to calm yourself at the loud thudded footsteps. 
It was quiet for a moment before you heard more walking before the doors closed. 
“Game Cleared”
The lights turned on as you fell limp against the side of the bed, Chishiya’s hand removed from mouth as you pushed your hair from your face, closing your eyes as you breathed in relief, “Holy shit.” Was all you could mutter to yourself, you had never been more grateful to breathe air in your whole life. 
“I guess you weren’t that useless after all huh.” Chishiya clacked his tongue as you turned your head to look at him, raising your brows as your face contorted into something between insult and amusement. 
You’ve only known this man for a half an hour and yet...something about his words, if you dug down deep past that smug expression of his, was this a compliment? Looking away you pressed your tongue into your cheek, trying to keep from smiling, “Yeah, and you’re still conceited and arrogant but, I guess you have a good reason to be.” You glanced back at him again but you could hardly hold his gaze, something in that brief moment was electrified between you both as you laughed somewhat sheepishly, closing your eyes as you looked away once more. 
What the fuck was even wrong with you? If this was back before today you would’ve totally kicked this guy in the balls and went about your day.
“Y/n!” You straightened up at the sound of Nanami’s voice, your expression brightening as you stood up, quickly running to her as you hugged her tight, “I can’t believe that just happened…” She whispered to you as she pressed her face into your neck. You couldn’t either but, you were thankful you had survived this game. Whatever it was. 
“Come on, let's get out of this room.” You tugged on her arm, no longer wanting to be in this death room despite knowing it was all over. Pulling her out you paused at the sight of the TV and a...register…? You bracelet unlocked as you took it off, tossing it on the table as you tilted your head. 
“Congratulations Game ''Clear ``.''
“...Now issuing visas to those who survived the game…?” You furrowed your brows as you glanced at Nanami who rubbed her head in confusion. You grabbed the receipt as you looked it over with a frown before picking up the 5 of clubs playing card along with it. Odd. 
“It’s how many days you’re allowed to stay now! Almost a whole week, that's a good score for a first game!” Akari called out as she patted your back making you jump a little. 
Almost a whole week…”Until we have to play again to...continue our stay?” You raised a brow, deciding not to ask what happens if you refused. While you had many questions, you had a feeling you knew the answer to that one. 
A part of you couldn’t even believe this had happened, or was it all still a dream. 
“Hey…! Sorry for all of that in there,” You turned to see...oh…! It was the boyfriend of the partner, the gifrlfriend stayed behind looking brooding, “I’m Ryu and that’s my girlfriend Hiroko I was...ah…” He faltered a little, rubbing the back of his neck as his gaze flittered to his girlfriend who was glaring him down, “You should stop by the Beach- I...I think you guys would make good additions! Bye!” He hurried not even finishing his original sentence before scurrying off making you furrow your brows at what he even meant. 
“The hell?” Akari raised a brow as she watched the guy run off, “Seems to me he wanted to chat more…guess we know who's really pulling balls in that relationship.” 
Nanami suddenly snickered, covering her mouth as she giggled, “Hey Akari! Why don’t we stay together! We did really well in the game together!” 
“Awh shit, if you guys really want me too!” Akari offered a quirky smile as you laughed, you had no problems with someone staying behind with you. Looking past Akari your smile faded a little at the sight of a white hoodie exiting the entrance. 
“Hey- I’ll be right back!” You pushed past the both of them who paid you no mind as you pushed out of the exit and down the stone steps, not sure why your feet were making you chase after such an egotistical man but…!
“Chishiya!” You called out, making the man pause, he turned around, pulling the earbuds out as he glanced up from his hoodie, raising his brows in acknowledgement, “Um…” Why did you even chase after him…? You stepped down the last step as you wrapped your arms around yourself. 
It was silent for a moment as you berated yourself internally for why you seemed so speechless all of a sudden. Chishiya however didn’t seem to mind, his eyes absent now as he stared up at the hospital, “I used to do my clinical rotations here.” 
You were broken out of your silent thrashing of internal humiliation as you raised your brows, lips parting in curiosity as you asked, “You were a doctor?” 
“No,” Chishiya snorted, that amused calico look of his on his face once more as he looked down at you, “I was a medical student. Training to be a doctor but that obviously didn’t happen…” His lips curved into a frown, his eyes cold once more as they looked back up at the building, “I came here tonight to see if anyone I knew would be here.” 
“Oh…” You looked away, feeling somewhat awkward and unsure of how to reply to him as silence took over once more beside the occasional rustling of the wind in the tree’s, the urge to speak overtaking you to the point you couldn't resist, “Chishiya...I…” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful, “We...made a really good team back there.” You forced yourself to look up at him as you offered a bright yet subtly shy smile, “If you want...you could stay with us…?” 
Chishiya pulled the lollipop stick from his mouth, letting it drop to the ground as he spoke, “No thanks.” You turned to him in surprise as you frowned a little, you shouldn’t have expected anything less…
“Oh...I understand.” You offered a weak smile as he turned his back on you and began to walk once more, “I just have one more question,” You called out causing him to pause, “...Do you by any chance know about a place called the Beach?”
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Note: Whew...! As a lurker in the Alice in borderland fandom I saw a lot of people complaining about the lack of Chishiya fics so I decided to volunteer myself and take on for the team to write a series for this little blonde fucker so PLEASE let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy!! Also
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melzula · 4 years ago
Text
Come What May
third and final installment of the Fire Lilies series
pairing: Zuko x Princess!reader
warnings: fluff, angst, some mean Zuko, forbidden lovers au
notes: thank you all for the love & support you’ve given this series. although it’s over, if you still have any questions or are curious about what happens to Zuko and the Princess along the way feel free to ask me and I’ll be happy to elaborate! enjoy!
summary: you put your trust in Zuko and agree to run away with him. But have you made the right choice?
part one | part two
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“I’ve been challenged to an Agni Kai.”
“I’m engaged.”
The two of you stare at each other stunned, eyes wide and stomachs immediately filling with dread.
“What?” Zuko breathes quietly. His voice is barley above a whisper and he refuses to make eye contact with you, but you don’t miss the way his body begins to tremble with emotion.
“With my father gone and my mother growing older I need someone to provide and take care of me,” you explain weakly with guilt present upon your features. “I’ve been given away to the son of my father’s most trusted advisor.”
Zuko’s eyes widen in horror as you carefully tug the collar of your coat away from your neck to reveal your betrothal necklace. The jewelry rests daintily against your skin, the carved stone almost shimmering underneath the light that reflects across the ice that surrounds you, and it takes every fiber of his being to restrain himself from ripping the thing right off of you. You were meant to be his fiancé, his wife, and yet here you were claiming to be the promised bride of a boy who wasn’t Zuko. A part of him felt sick, and though he knew it was beyond your control he couldn’t help but feel betrayed.
“Tell me you’re not going to marry him,” Zuko demands, his voice calm and unwavering despite his aggravated state.
“Zuko...”
“Tell me you’re not,” he urges you now as he grasps at your forearms and pulls you closer to him. If you didn’t know any better you’d assume he was furious by the way he was holding you, but in reality he was just desperate and afraid. “Y/n, tell me.”
“It’s not that easy,” you try to reason, “it wasn’t my choice.”
“Exactly, it wasn’t your choice! So don’t marry him!” Zuko insists firmly.
“If I don’t marry him I risk bringing dishonor to my family and to my people. I’m the Princess, Zu. Even if I tried to say no it wouldn’t matter. Becoming a wife to a member of our tribe is part of my duty as Princess. I’m so sorry.”
Your heart aches for Zuko as he slowly removes himself from you, and both of you choose to ignore the handprints that have been charred into the fabric of your coat from where he had once grabbed you. He was good at controlling his temper around you, but his temperature was a completely different story; it was a wonder that he hadn’t somehow burnt you yet.
“What about your Agni Kai?” You press gently, taking one of his hands in both of yours before bringing it close to your chest and over your heart. A small sigh accompanied by a breath of fire escapes Zuko at the action and warms your cool cheeks.
”One of the war generals at the council threatened your life,” Zuko explains dully. You squeeze his hand tightly in response. “I spoke out of turn in your defense, and now I’ll have to duel him. I know I can take him, but what I can’t take is someone who isn’t me being able to call themselves your husband.”
“I’ll always be yours, Zuko.” He says nothing as you wind your arms around his torso and nuzzle your face against his chest, but he can’t help himself from returning your embrace and holding you impossibly tight against him.
“Then run away with me,” he says. A small gasp escapes you as you pull away to look up at him with wide eyes.
“Run away?”
“Yes, run away. As soon as the Agni Kai is over and I win, I’ll come get you and we can leave. We’ll go wherever you’d like, it doesn’t matter as long as we’re together. Please, Princess.”
“I... I’ve heard Ba Sing Se is the place people go to get a fresh start,” you reply with an uneasy smile. Zuko rewards you with a gentle kiss to your forehead.
“We’ll leave in three days. Meet me by the docks at midnight and bring only what you need,” he instructs before gently cupping your face in his hands. “We’re going to be so happy together, y/n.”
You smile as he pulls you in for a passionate kiss, but you can’t help the uneasiness that stirs in the pit of your stomach. The thought of running away with Zuko is exhilarating, yet something in the back of your mind is begging you not to go, warning you that things will not be as you planned them to be. But your body succumbs to the sensation of Zuko’s lips against your own, and before you can stop it you find yourself sinking further and further into his warmth.
~~~
It’s not easy having to turn your back on your people and leave the only life you’ve ever known behind, but the journey that lies ahead of you is enough to convince you that leaving the Southern Water Tribe behind is for the best. You’d never be happy in a marriage with someone you didn’t love, and you’d forever resent your parents and your people from keeping you tied down to one place forever. You would be happy with Zuko, there’d be many new sights to see and so many new experiences to have. It was for the best.
You arrive at the docks by midnight per Zuko’s instructions, a backpack full of what little belongings you could bring along with you resting upon your shoulders. This is most likely the last time you’ll ever see the South Pole again and a sense of bitter sweetness washes over you as you take one final look at your home. When the sun rises your mother will find the note you’ve left behind and Princess y/n of the Southern Water Tribe will be no more.
A ship slowly emerges from the distance, the Fire Nation emblem displayed proudly for all to see, and nervous excitement tingles through your body as you prepare to leave your home once and for all.
The Zuko that descends from the ramp of the ship to greet you is not the same Zuko you had seen just a few days ago. The boy before you now has completely transformed both physically and emotionally. The long hair you loved to comb your hands through so much is gone with only a ponytail of hair remaining at the back of his head. You try not to stare at the patch tied securely around his head and over his left eye in fear of upsetting your boyfriend, but he doesn’t even bother to explain it.
When he approaches you it is with purpose, a seriousness and sense of formality that had never been there before- not when it came to you. There’s a coldness to him that frightens you, but you do your best not to show it. Something is wrong, you know this, your superstitions had warned you so, but until you find out what it is you will do your best to act as if everything is fine. You offer him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes, and Zuko doesn’t meet your gaze.
You watch with bated breath as he reaches out and tugs your collar down to reveal the betrothal necklace around your neck.
“Why are you still wearing this?”
“I was in a rush and forgot to take it off,” you explain quickly. Zuko stares at you for only a moment before quickly emitting a heat from his palm so great it melts the carved stone of your necklace right off. The choker that held the stone falls limply from your neck and onto the snow below you. You’re bewildered by such a harsh action from the boy who had always treated you with the utmost care and respect. A part of you wanted to turn around and run back home to your mother, but you knew there had to be a reason for Zuko’s sudden change, and so you stay.
“Let’s go,” Zuko says gruffly, taking your bag from your shoulders in one hand and holding your hand in the other as he guides you up the ramp and onto the ship.
He stands beside you with an arm around your waist as the ship pulls away from the docks and out into the open sea. Your home grows smaller and smaller until you’re no longer able to see it, and then it is just you and Zuko together in silence.
“You’re going to be happy with me,” he says quietly, but the statement does nothing to ease your nerves. “It’s late, you need your rest. I’ll escort you to your quarters.”
You say nothing as he guides you to the ship’s deck below, only glancing once at the moon before you before the night sky is replaced with a steel roof over your head.
~~~
Zuko doesn’t tell you much about the Agni Kai; you’ve learned it’s best not to bring it up. But from the vague answers he’s given you along with the tiny details his Uncle has let slip out, you find out that Zuko had not won the challenge and was now an outsider of sorts to the Fire Nation. But that shouldn’t matter now considering you both had wanted to run away, right?
You have separate quarters on the ship, but you always find yourself winding up in Zuko’s bed. Homesickness hits you more often than you had presumed, and Zuko is the only warmth you find in your new life abroad. You hope that will change once you settle down in Ba Sing Se. The thought always bring a sense of comfort to you- the idea of starting over, settling in a new home, eventually getting married, and having children are images that keep you sane on the moving metal death trap.
When you wake you find that the spot beside you in bed is empty and cold, proof that Zuko has been gone for a long while now. With a sigh you force yourself up and ready yourself for the day ahead. If your calculations aren’t off and if you read the map correctly, you should be arriving in the east end of Earth Kingdom some time today.
However, when you ascend onto the top deck you find that you are nowhere near Earth Kingdom territory at all. The air is still frigid from the cold, and you’re regretting not bringing a coat up with you to wear.
It is Iroh who notices your trembling form first, immediately sitting you down at his tea table and calling for one of the crew members nearby to fetch you a blanket.
“Zuko, the poor Princess is freezing,” Iroh states whilst pouring you a nice, warm cup of tea. “Please forgive my nephew for his lack of hospitality.“
You only give the General a weak smile in response as you quietly sip your tea. A warm blanket wraps itself around your shoulders accompanied by a chaste kiss to your cheek.
“Why is it so cold?” You frown, glancing up at Zuko who stands before you. “I thought we’d be near the Earth Kingdom by now.”
Iroh guilty looks away from the two of you and quietly excuses himself in order to give you privacy. Zuko is silent for a long while.
“We’re not going to the Earth Kingdom,” he replies bluntly.
“But what about Ba Sing Se?”
“I have to tie up a few loose ends before we can settle down together. But don’t be sad, Princess. I’m sure you’ll like where we’re going instead.”
It’s then that you truly notice your surroundings, the familiar gray skies and calm ocean waters, the frigid temperatures. You’re going back home.
“The South Pole? But that can’t be!” You exclaim. “I just ran away and now you’re taking me back?”
“We’re not going there for you,” Zuko responds harshly. “They have something that I want.”
“I don’t understand...” you frown, rising from your seat at the table to meet Zuko’s fiery gaze.
“I wouldn’t expect you to,” he mutters, brushing past you in order to stand along the railing of the ship.
“Zuko, if we go back there’s a chance my people will try to take me away from you. They’ll blame you for my disappearance, returning would be nothing but trouble. What could the South Pole possibly have to make you go back?!”
You love Zuko with all of your heart, you really do. But if you had known the severity of the situation you’d find yourself in once you decided to run away with him, you would have listened to the voice at the back of your head that begged you not to go. But now, as the banished prince turns back to meet your eyes, you realize that it’s much too late.
“Your people are hiding the Avatar.”
| tags: @titaniafire @dekahg @emberislandplayers @kikaninchen-2 @multi-fandomstan @eridanuswave @royahllty @lozzybowe @izzieserra @melacholy @music-geek19 @thia-aep @thyunnamed @kittenthekat1234567890 @haylaansmi @nataliahaslosthershit @coldlilheart |
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knightprincess · 3 years ago
Text
Cadet Training (The Bad Batch)
Words: 3166
Warning: None but a lot of hurt/comfort (I think)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cadet training for the clones was never easy. Although it was just about bearable for the regular clones. It was constant torment for Clone Force 99. They never got a day off from training like others did. From the moment they had been able to begin training, it had been non stop, a constant pressure to succeed, to obey the orders given or face punishment. 
TECH Tech's training consisted of testing his knowledge. He'd be hooked up to an array of machines, some to monitor his brain waves, other his heart rate and blood pressure. Another that would give him a nasty shock. Once he was hooked up the testing began, he was normally given questions on the screens before him, he had a certain amount of time to answer them. If he succeeded, another question would appear. If he was to fail, he would receive a electric shock. If he ever asked for it to stop, the instructor would only up the power. Being sure to stop before he lost consciousness. As soon as the shocks stopped he was told to get back to his feet and continue. Maker help him should he ask for a bathroom break or any break in general. On the days he wasn't facing the quizzes, then he was normally dragged to the medical bay, to undergo horrendous scans. The worst part always being he could feel everything they did. The pain being unbearable, the few times he was able to get strangled words out, he was always calling for his brothers, begging them to make it stop and rescue him from the constant pain. He'd be poked and prodded with needles and other things as if he was a pin cushion. Normally thirsty and hungry as he would be denied food and drink for hours before these scans and tests. If he was to say he was hungry or needed a drink, he would be harshly told to be silent and wait. 
When it was over it was a struggle to even walk, most of the time he used the walls to prop himself up on his way to where ever wanted to go. His words would be slurred, the best he could do with the splitting headache to be blurring his vision. He'd struggle to hold eating utensils when in the mess hall, only just being able to grip the cup to drink something. After a while he'd give up completely and settle for returning to the barracks, another night of going hungry. Crosshair would never allow it and always followed behind his younger brother, helping Tech along to ensure he got there safely. Upon making sure Tech got to his bunk, he retrieve a few ration bars, ensuring Tech didn't go hungry. WRECKER Wrecker's training wasn't as bad as his brothers to look at. He'd be constantly pushed to his limit with blasters, bombs and other explosives. Often being sent to the training rooms to test his skills against droids. If he was ever hit by one, the course would be reset until he got it right. Often times had he missed meal times because of this. He'd be forced to repeat the disarming over and over again, until he got it right first time. Yet he hated destroying things that had meaning to him. Like one time an instructor noticed his original tooka doll and picture of his brothers. Both had been stuffed into a metal box with little care, a detonator thrown in with them. 
That day he'd been tasked with disarming an bomb within a time limit. If he succeeded, he'd get the things taken from him back. If he failed then the blast would destroy the small metal box and the things stuffed so carelessly inside. That day had broke Wrecker, losing the photo was like losing his brothers, he cried himself to sleep that night, believing he had failed them. Although a new Tooka doll had appeared on his bunk, a small tag in messy writing saying its name was Lula. 
Wreckers worst training session by far was the one where he was training with blasters. He'd only spoken of his exhaustion and strains before then. But that day his trainer had dragged Hunter, Tech and Crosshair to the firing range. He been informed their lives were on the line this time, they would be on the firing range, between each target. If he missed any target his brothers would ended up being hit. Wrecker had protested as did his brothers, their lives were in his hands, he knew his brothers trusted him, but he didn't want that responsibility just yet. He didn't want to hurt them in any way. 
He knew it would be difficult, with the trainer tying each of his brothers to a make shift stake between each target, blind folding them so they couldn't see what was happening. To Wrecker it was like they were set to be executed by firing squad, like they were the criminals and he was the executor, like he was the hand that would bring swift death. He tried so hard to protest against it, refusing, even when his train held a gun to his head, even when he was smacked in the face with the butt of the gun he still refused. 
He eventually fired upon hearing the encouraging words of his brothers. Hearing they trusted him and believed him even when he didn't believe in himself. Although he had hit every target, he'd come dangerously close to each of them. A bolt had hit just to the right of Crosshair, mere inches from his shoulder, another had been close to hitting Hunter, the bolt hitting the wall above him, where as Tech's had missed by inches, instead hitting the floor in front of him. A comment or two had escaped the train's lips, yet nothing of support but instead patronizing him further, stamping out the confidence he had gained. Something to do with a gag for his brothers next time. 
Tech, Crosshair and Hunter had all bared witness to Wrecker's beating that day. Tied helpless to the make shift stakes as he was beaten for his words in response to the sadistic trainer, beaten for standing up for himself and them. Despite their efforts to free themselves, they had been force to listen as Wrecker shouted for it to stop and screamed in agonizing pain when the side of his face was held to one of the metal containers, mere seconds before it exploded. The Trainer didn't seem to care, instead pulling the crying Wrecker to his feet afterwards, ignoring the pleas to be left alone. Nala Se had been the rescuer that day, investigating upon hearing Wrecker scream. She took him with her, ordering Tech, Crosshair and Hunter to be freed and sent back to their barracks. 
Despite her best efforts Nala Se couldn't save Wrecker from permanent scaring. She kept him in her lab for days, doing her best to take away his pain as she removed shrapnel and his left eye. Replacing the eye with a cybernetic one. Her examinations showing he'd be partially death in the left ear.  Yet she had also showed kindness, even more so when she had taken the punishment of the Bounty Hunter into her own hands, ensuring he wouldn't be heartless to one of her special five again.
CROSSHAIR Crosshair's training normally consisted of being isolated for days on end. His accuracy was beyond that of any other, so his path of a sniper had been chosen for him. Forced on him even. At first it would be overnight stays in the training facilities, perched in a snipers nest, flat on his stomach, he'd be allowed breaks to move around and join the others in the mess hall. But as time went by, the conditions got worse. He'd be denied simple breaks to stretch his limbs, bathroom trips or even sleep. Food and water became a method to reward him for his good work in training. 
After a while the trips to the training facility wasn't enough. His instructor insisting he needed something more real. So would take him out to a landing pad in the constant rain, there he'd be tasked with eliminating all distractions and fire on his fellow cadets, each time they'd be unaware. If Crosshair was to refuse then he'd be beaten, stamped on and other things, at times his own instructor had used a electric torture device to deliver a shock, all in an attempt to get him to comply. If he still refused a loaded gun would be held to the side of his head, or he'd be put in some sort of strangle hold. Crosshair had bones broken one more than one occasion. Normally ribs, wrist, ankle and fingers. 
Many a times Crosshair had been taken outside in the pouring rain, without cover, food or water, he'd be left their for days, only being sent a location of his target, normally another cadet but occasionally a fully trained trooper would would fire back. He was tasked to stun them all. To make it easier, his instructor told him to make up stories about them, to make himself think they deserved it, he was told to ignore his guilt over firing at them and ignore they were clones just like him. Instead he was told to think of it like a game, with everyone he stunned he'd be earning the right of bathroom use, of food and water, of being able to return to his barracks and see his brothers again. 
But it only got worse. Eventually stunning his fellow cadets and fully trained troopers wasn't enough anymore. His instructor wanted him to use live rounds, to potentially kill them. He was branded as teaching them a lesson, of setting an example to other cadets who misbehaved. Every time Crosshair refused he was met with a brutal beating, already weak from days without food and lying flat on his stomach. Already weak from his countless other beating from answering back with snarky comments. He'd been denied medical attention until he completed his training session. 
When he was sent to the med bay, he found no comfort. It was made perfectly clear to him by the elegant Kaminoans he wasn't welcome there, they tolerated him a best, doing the bare minimum to ease his pain and ensuring his injuries and wounds would heal. Pain killers weren't a luxury extended to him, instead he felt the pain, eventually growing to accept it as a companion, refusing to show it to another unless he couldn't bare it any longer. 
By far his worst training session was when he was up on the landing platform, the rain pelting down on him, hardly bothered him anymore. He was told via a comm link four targets were heading into his directory, he was to shoot them. At first Crosshair was certain he wouldn't have a problem with it, he grown used to using cadets and troopers as a target practice. Yet this time was different, the targets in question was a fully grown trooper and three cadets. Tech, Hunter and Wrecker along with ninety-nine. Almost instantly Crosshair yelled he couldn't, no wouldn't fire on them. They were his brothers and one of the few who actually showed care to him. Ninety-Nine had named each of them, treated them like he did with all the other cadets, with care and loved. Always helping them with something. 
His instructor had come on to his landing pad after that, demanding he shoot all four to kill. Stamping on Crosshair's back when he refused, the beating when on for quite some time. Only stopping when Crosshair had managed to grab his rifle and point it had the vicious man tasked with training him. Even then no emotion escaped his blush pink features. Instead his instructor called him names, often accompanied by the words useless and defect. Through it all Crosshair would yell even scream he didn't want to kill his brothers, loud enough they could hear him and pin point his location, loud enough they would know what they're being used for this time. 
The nightmares were always the worst part of his torture. They were the mental scars of his training. When he was actually allowed to sleep, he'd been tormented by the nightmares, a scenario being played out where he'd have to hunt his brothers, torture them for information and eventually kill them in a public way. Every time he'd wake up screaming he didn't want to kill them. Each time Wrecker would offer him Lula, as comfort. Tech would reassure him it was just a dream and they were all there, alive and well. Where as Hunter would stay by his side until he fell back to sleep. The cycle would repeat itself several times over, each time the stun setting on the gun becoming more appealing, until Crosshair would eventually give up on the idea of sleep. Instead he would be content watching over his brothers and reading something on Tech's data-pad, all while playing with Hunter's knife and protecting Lula for Wrecker. 
HUNTER Hunter's training mainly centered around his senses and tracking. Much like Crosshair it was far more physical than most. Although he'd also find himself locked in a lab for what was supposed to be testing but felt more like his own personal brand of torture. His favorite training was when he got to spend time with his brothers. Normally when they were in training facilities together, going through different scenarios. They worked well as a team and was sure to let his tired brothers know it. 
His training as an individual however he hated, with a vengeance. Often times was Crosshair the one he had to track, with the order to subdue my any means necessary. Every time his sharp eyed brother would be under the impression the person coming would be trying to kill him, as if he'd been brain washed. Each time he would be in for a fight even when Crosshair had been starved for days. He'd always say I'm sorry before stunning him, he'd hold his brother close, maker knows what would happen to him for being caught. 
The days in the lab he hated most. Mostly due to be stuck in some kind of tub, helpless to do anything as Tech yelled for help and for someone to save him. In his tub he'd be subjected to a manor of different things, noises only he could hear, with a pitch high enough to frazzle his hearing for days. Smells powerful enough to burn his air ways and leave a metal tinged after taste in his mouth. multi-color lights so bright, he would be blinded and couldn't see the Kaminoan outside the tube. He's be left with lights flashing behind his eyes long after the bright lights had been turned off. 
When not in the tube, he would be strapped to a table like Tech, poked and prodded, different tests administered. He'd always know when they were due, being forbidden from drinking or eating anything for hours before hand. His struggles only resulted in pain, multiple times he'd been struck with something across his midsection. The blow hard enough he could feel his ribs crunch beneath the object, and the air leave his lungs from the pure shock of it. He'd always think of his brothers in those times. Think about needing to be strong for them, so he could help them when they all returned to the barracks.
Although even those thoughts had been used against him. Manipulated to serve a purpose. Countless times had the Kaminoans in the lab put goggles on him while strapped to the lab table. They'd play videos of his brother's training, specifically when they would be punished for failing, answering back to the instructors or just doing something considered out of line. Each time it was when he wasn't there to save them or when he was unable to get to them. The clips of Tech when he was being electrocuted in his tests or yelling out from pain during his lab stints. Wrecker's being his scarring injury or when he'd been called every name under the sun, being hit with objects and humiliated by his awful instructor. Where as Crosshair's was pretty much every training session, when he was starved for days, beaten and berated, shocked and had guns held to his head or a knife to his throat. Where the people he loved most were used against him. 
One such occasion where the videos were shown to him. Hunter had yelled out for it to stop, as always being ignored, so he had constantly belted the side of his head off the equipment so close to him, shattering the goggles. The Kaminoans had removed the remnants afterwards scolding him, as the injuries sustained were patched up. Although it would leave a scar as a reminder, a scar he'd eventually hide beneath his trademark bandanna. Yet he always felt as he deserved the scar as it reminded him of the times he failed to protect his brothers. 
Returning to the barracks after those tube tests was never easy. The lights in the halls were always bright enough to blind him, to the point he would hold his hands out and feel his way around to find his way back. Countless times had the bleach smell to radiate through the Military facilities burn his air ways, making it hard for him to breath. Tech would always help by turning the lights down to the lowest setting possible, although that was to help Crosshair too. He'd also find a sweet smelling fragrance of some kind, normally vanilla and cover the bleach smell in their room with it. Although their private barracks always had the smell of home. A cross between engine oil and gun powder. 
Yet still he felt the need to protect his brothers. Guiding Tech to his bunk and putting the data-pad at a safe distance on the table in the center of the room. He'd make sure Wrecker had a picture of them together near him and his favorite blanket and Lola if Crosshair didn't have it. As for Crosshair, he'd always be there when he woke up screaming from nightmares, just as he knew when Crosshair had gotten his knife as something to hold on to. Yet he didn't say anything as it gave both comfort. Getting to sleep on the other hand was a far more difficult task. Often times he'd wait until his brothers were asleep, or at least Tech and Wrecker. More often than not he'd end up crying himself to sleep, knowing the only one to hear would be Crosshair, who often helped by placing a hand on his shoulder while pulling his blankets up to keep him warm. Crosshair being their somehow eased the pain and sent him into a somewhat peaceful sleep. 
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billiedeanhwrd · 4 years ago
Text
when i fell you were there, with your hands in the air
cordelia goode x fem!reader
summary: your depression is hitting you harder than most days, cordelia comforts you 🤍
warnings: depression, slight mention of childhood trauma, it's angsty mental health fluff basically
word count: 1.7k
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a/n: this is my first ever fanfic and i'm very very nervous about it, so pls don't be too harsh, constructive criticism is very much welcome though!! also i'm sorry about any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language. i also have to add that this was very much self indulgent and based on my own experience with depression, so if you don't relate, that's fine, everyone experiences it differently. I hope you enjoy it tho, have fun reading <3
today was one of those days again. one of those days where everything seemed grey and pointless. one of those days where taking a shower was too exhausting. one of those days where it didn't matter if you left your clothes on the floor or a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. one of those days where you isolated yourself. one of those days that seemed to return to you every morning for almost 3 weeks now.
you had been struggling with depression for years now and attending therapy regularly still didn't take away from the embarrassment you felt about your illness. cordelia didn't know, you didn't want to burden her with your subjectively "silly" problems. It wasn't easy hiding something so life consuming from your lover, but whenever you were with her you felt as though you could reach for the stars and there was no point in ruining happy moments with sad stories.
Whenever you felt really depressed and unable to function, you isolated yourself. Cordelia and you had been together for 7 months now and the first time she thought she had done something wrong which had resulted in you needing space from her, but when she confronted you, you reassured her that sometimes you needed some time to yourself because you were a more introverted person. While that might be true, you wanted nothing more than for her to take you into her arms and tell you everything was going to be okay again, but the fear of possibly burdening the already very busy supreme held you back from confessing what was weighing you down.
you were used to this already, you always kept your darkness to yourself, too afraid of being too much or being abandoned by your loved ones, while the rational side of you knew that the people in your life who truly meant something to you would never abandon you because of your chronic depression, anxiety left no room for rationality.
you were always feeling kind of down, but some days it was easier to cope and enjoy your day despite that... and then there were those phases where you felt unusually down, those phases that caused you to isolate yourself and wait for the storm to pass in solitude. They usually lasted only a few days or maximum a week, but this one had been going on for much longer. cordelia was worried, you had never needed so much "alone time to recharge your social battery", but she didn't want to overstep your boundaries and possibly push you away, because what you weren't aware of was that cordelia too struggled with abandonment issues and fearing she would be "too much" (which she could never be for you, you adored every single second you could spend in the blonde witch's presence).
After leaving multiple text messages and trying to call you, only to be greeted by your voicemail, cordelia took it upon herself to see what was going on with you. The knocking on your door would've usually startled you, but you had just ordered a pizza, too tired to prepare a meal yourself and assumed the delivery was faster than they had stated on their website. your jaw fell open and the door was quickly closed again, shit shit shit, what am i supposed to do now? the place looks like a mess, i can't let cordelia se-
"y/n can you open the door please?" she asked in her gentle voice. "Uh, yeah, give me a second" you replied, hastily throwing on a hoodie that had been lying around on your couch, coincidentally that hoodie being one you stole from cordelia a few weeks ago, something that made your girlfriend's heart warm up a little and relieve her of some of the worried thoughts she had that this might be your way of signaling to her that you no longer wished to be in a relationship with her.
"can we talk? i haven't seen you in three weeks and you haven't answered any of my texts... what's going on? you know you can talk to me about anything..."
"uhm, yes, of course. sit down, make yourself at home, would you like anything to drink?"
"no, thank you, i just want to talk to you"
you didn't have the energy to lie to the woman who held your heart in her hands anymore, you were terrified of her reaction, not only to you being mentally ill but also to you hiding it for so long.
"i'm so sorry delia, please don't be mad", you anxiously stuttered out. cordelia grabbed your hand and smiled reassuringly, signaling for you to continue talking.
"I didn't tell you before because i know you've already got so much going on with the academy and i didn't want to pile onto that with my irrelevant issues... I was diagnosed with depression amongst other things a few years ago, it's something i have to deal with every day and some days are easier than others, but sometimes it all comes crashing down on me and i feel like i'm lost in an ocean of a sadness so powerful, i can feel the pain on my body. I know it can be challenging to be close to someone with severe mental issues and I understand if you don't want to continue being with me, i would never want you to stay with me because you pity me or because you're afraid i'd do something to myself if you'd left, you're not responsible for my feelings or actions and i would never want to impose you with such a burden and-"
you stopped rambling when you noticed the tears flowing down cordelia's cheeks.
your eyes widened and your heart started pounding rapidly in your chest. "i'm sorry, was that too much?"
"no, no, no, no, no... it just pains me to know that you've been dealing with this on your own for such a long time because you don't value yourself enough to believe that other people might want to support you through your everyday battles. y/n, i know you, you're the girl who's always there when someone else needs a shoulder to cry on, anytime, anyplace, you always go out of your way to make others feel seen and accepted, why would you ever think that you don't deserve the kindness you so openly give to others?"
now it was you who was crying, cordelia was right, you didn't value yourself enough to believe that. you didn't actively think of yourself as less than others but that thought always unconsciously motivated the way you dealt with the things that were bothering you.
cordelia patted her lap, signaling for you to sit on her lap and come into her arms. you hesitated though, you weren't used to being so vulnerable and open with your emotions and it scared the shit out of you. you feared cordelia was possibly annoyed at you and was only doing this to get it over with and then get out. she watched you, while you were anxiously deciding what your next move would be, her heart broke for you, you looked like a scared baby dear when all she wanted to do was to comfort you.
"baby, look at me"
her chocolate colored eyes were so full of love, simply looking into them managed to get your heart rate down.
"it's okay, i'm not mad at you for talking about your feelings and all i want to do right now is to hug some of your pain away, so please, let me hold you"
you melted at her gentle words and understanding nature, cordelia was an incredibly smart woman, who went through traumatic things herself and even from that little information you shared, she understood you. she saw her younger self in you, so incredibly lonely but oh, so scared of being vulnerable with another person, due to the emotional abuse her mother subjected her to, and while she might not have gone through the same things you did, she felt like she understood your feelings in this exact moment and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel safe with her.
you slowly crawled into her lap, still afraid this was all a trick to hurt you, but when she started combing through your hair and reassuringly whispering "i've got you" and "you're here with me, i promise you, you're safe", you relaxed into her arms.
after about half an hour of laying there with each other, calming down and enjoying the other one's warmth, you spoke up.
"delia?"
"yes, my love?"
"so you're not leaving me?", you hesitantly asked.
cordelia sat up and looked straight in your eyes while asking "would you leave someone you love because they're depressed?"
"no, never"
"then tell me, sweetheart, why would i leave you?"
her response left you speechless, you almost missed her confessing her love. "you love me?"
she hugged you tight and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "more than anything, and please, never worry about telling me about what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, no matter what it is, i wanna know, okay?"
you let out the breath you didn't know you were holding and confidently replied "okay"
a few minutes passed before you spoke up again when you remembered you didn't say those 3 special words back.
"i love you too, by the way"
cordelia smiled lovingly and stood up to reach out for your hand and pull you up. "i know, now let's go to bed, we can clean up this place tomorrow"
you accepted her helping hand and engulfed her in a hug. the way she so naturally used the word "we" and didn't seem to mind helping you clean up your mess of an apartment made you more emotional than you'd like to admit.
And while you knew this would not be the last time you were overwhelmed by your depression, you now knew that you could count on the woman who loved you to stand by your side and help you get through even your hardest day.
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wevegottogetaway · 4 years ago
Text
I love you
First I love yous...do I need to say more? Anyway, please don’t hesitate to reach out for anything, whether that be comments, requests, feedback or just to have a chat! Happy reading xx
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It’s been three days of utter pandemonium ripping through your brain in complete disarray. Three days of pent up stress storming through your mind as you ran like a headless chicken to try and find a handle on a situation that frankly, you didn’t give a rat’s ass about.
It all started when your boss had called you in his office, his signature tyrant-resting face on, solid frown drafting his features in a look of severity. Well, this can’t be good, you’d immediately thought once you took a hesitant seat across his desk. You’d hoped for a benign reason behind the sudden meeting, and that the scowl on his face was merely a residual of some other trouble that had absolutely nothing to do with you.
Your prayers had fallen on deaf ears however, as the summoning proved to be a twenty minutes angry diatribe about how one of your most recent client had expressed their wish to withdraw from their deal and de facto, the company. Though it hadn’t been your fault per se, your boss didn’t have any reservations about reminding you of your supposed responsibility to keep your clients sated and on the company’s leash. He’d given you three days to fix it after that. Three days to persuade the client not to pull out of the deal, or you risked some serious downgrading if not redundancy.  
You’d called Harry for support the minute you got home and spent the whole evening brainstorming the craziest ideas to him. He’d listened patiently, holding your hand on the table as you both indulged in the Thai take-out he’d picked up on his way over. That first night, you’d barely slept as you laid in his strong arms, back to his chest. Your reeling mind had still been trying to conjure up any sort of plan that would help you out of this chaos; but for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, your hopes had dwindled some.
You hadn’t known then, but Harry couldn’t find rest either as he spooned you against him. You two hadn’t been dating long, several months at best, but already your distress was unbearable to him and every bone in his body ached to do something to help you. This feeling of powerlessness was crawling out of his skin and swimming around like a shark amidst his prevalent thoughts of support, admiration and love. Because, while he’d shown you the first and conveyed the second countless times in the past, the third had yet to tumble out of his lips, despite the confession burning their flesh a bit stronger every day.
What really had had his mind reeling though, was knowing that maybe, just maybe, he had the power to make this situation go away; and for each switch of the glowing red digits on your alarm clock, his hopes grew some.
Your earlier utterance of the client’s name had been ringing through his mind in faint recognition, an itch starting to fester at his fingertips. Dialing a phone number was all it could take. A couple choice words and if he played his cards right, the deal would be back on the table. He’d known interfering was arguably a bad idea, and truthfully he’d always made a point of honor not to use his connections to serve ulterior motives (his or anyone else’s), but how was he supposed to do nothing when the person that caused you trouble was in fact a friend of a friend that might reevaluate their stance if he pitched in with a bit of charm and compelling words? How was he supposed to stay idle, watch you dissolve in an anxious mess, if he wasn’t as powerless as he thought?
So he didn’t. 
He’d originally planned on keeping you in the loop, but you’d been gone by the time his forest green eyes had fluttered back to consciousness the next morning. After a quick shower, a large mug of the coffee you’d left for him before running back to work, and locking your apartment with the spare key you’d given him a couple weeks back, he’d pulled out his phone. Two minutes was all it took for his friend to pass him your client’s number and without hesitation, he’d launched the call and brought his phone to his ear.
It took a bit longer than a couple of minutes for that conversation to take effect, but eventually his words hit their target. After all, his lovely nature could pierce through the most robust walls and stubborn minds. He didn’t even have to put on the charm that much, instead drawing earnest sentiments about your impeccable skills and rambling about how there was no better person to keep their account safe in the business. He’d gnawed at his lips the whole time, desperate to pull through but still scared to fail you somehow. You’d already been let down by the client and your boss, you certainly didn’t need your boyfriend added to the list.
The call had ended with their promise to reassess and consider your undeniable abilities in the equation, yet the next day you were once again convoked to your boss’ office with a snarly bark of your name. Puzzlement washed over you as you speed-walked after him. Why was he still so resentful with you when you’d gotten the client to reenter the contract?
Another twenty minutes of intense scolding provided you with that answer. With a disdainful gaze puncturing your poise, your boss told you that while your job was no longer on the line, you’d been given a firm warning about using your boyfriend as negotiator for the company’s dealings.
How he knew when you yourself weren’t aware of the fact, you didn’t know. In retrospect, your talk with the client had been suspiciously easy for someone who’d made their will to ditch the company crystal clear. You’d merely laid out your arguments, expecting resistance and some pushing, but were only met with a squinted look and cautious acceptance. Now you know your case had already been pleaded once, by the man who was taking more and more space for himself inside the chambers of your heart.
You didn’t quite know how to feel about it; didn’t know if you should be mad or grateful. You were specifically stunned because you knew it was out of character for Harry. Your boyfriend was the most generous being you’d ever met, but humility was even more so a prevailing layer of his beautiful nature. You certainly didn’t expect it, didn’t wish for it to happen again because you were always adamant not to ever use anyone for their assets. Yet there was a tingling, a mixture of discomfort and gratefulness, sloshing in the pit of your stomach. 
This whole thing was a mind-fuckery of emotions you were too tired to process.
What you did feel though, was the pure frustration at your boss’ hypocrisy. You both knew he didn’t really care how you’d gotten the deal back, just that you did, but his intolerable disposition wouldn’t allow him to applaud your efforts and move on.
Wanting to put this all mess behind you, you bit back the retorts that you craved to force down his throat, simply nodded through his chastising charade, and leaped to your feet as soon as the dismissing words left his stupid trap.
Now that you’re making your way inside your home, your nose is hit by a waft of delicious aromas traveling from the kitchen. Your mind is still fuzzy with every trouble and startling revelation that transpired in the past three days, but as your eyes settle on your apron-clad boyfriend, you take a moment to appreciate the sight of his soft figure stirring the content of what must be a pan on the gas. His back is facing you, but you can hear the gentle humming under his breath, as he hasn’t registered your arrival yet.
After another minute of whistling, he finally twists around and his eyes almost pop out of their socket when they find your timid stance a couple feet away. "Jesus, pet, didn’t know you were home yet," he chuckles softly before taking in your somewhat moony features. Your expression is hard to pinpoint, your delicate traits blank of any emotions yet your eyes have the same sparkle that greets him every morning and every night when he pulls you for a deep kiss in his warm embrace. "Everythin’ okay, love?"
The query snaps you out of your semblance of trance, your head looking down to the floor to gather your wits before you level your gaze back to his. "Yeah it is. Umm, my boss called me in again today," your bite your lip, not knowing how to navigate the conversation. In all honesty, you just want to be done with the whole thing, would rather spend an evening full of cuddles and potentially mind-blowing sex, but you know this ought to be acknowledged.
"Oh," his brows pull together with the same confusion you’d experienced when your boss ushered you to his office. "Did he thank you for the big save?"
"Not exactly," you clear your throat bracing yourself and Harry’s face tenses at the realization about where this is going. "My job is safe and I’m still working on the account," hie loosens up in relief, but your next words have him stiffen right back up in alarm. "But I got a warning for a certain someone’s involvement in the company’s operations. Apparently, my boyfriend called the client on my behalf and forgot to clue me in…"
Your voice is calm and doesn’t carry any reproachful tone, but Harry’s pulse is suddenly speeding with dread regardless. The fact that he could have lost you your jobs is the only thing registering in his frenzied mind, as he sets the dish towel from his shoulder down on the counter and steps closer to you. His eyes are bouncing off yours in a frantic back and forth, as he gulps his remorse down. Before you can appease him with reassuring words, and show your lack of anger, he launches in an apologetic rant, enclosing both your hands between his palms.
"M’so sorry, love. I didn’t mean to put you in a bad position. Fuck I just- I kept thinkin’ I could help since your client was a friend of a friend. And, the more I thought about it, the more I kept thinking 'I can’t do nothin’. Cause I hate seein’ you in pain an’ I really want to be here fo’ you and I know this was probably the wrong way to go about it, but damn y/n, I couldn’t stand doin’ nothing, m’sorry-"
"I love you."
The words come fast but distinct, airy but firm, not an ounce of doubt laced through their utterance. An eerie silence permeate the small space surrounding them, as Harry tries to find his own words back. It took three of them to steal all of his, but in his defense they were the ones he’d been dying to hear and to deliver himself. His eyes are wide, blinking in total surprise. He’d expected irritation, disappointment perhaps, maybe even anger, but definitely not the sweetest words he’s been keeping at the forefront of his mind. "I- you do?"
You still have that wondrous look on your face, but this time a bright smile enlivens your features, "I really do." You take your hands out of his grip to hold onto his wrists and pull him closer to you. You have to look up since he towers over you but you’ve always liked that about your relationship; the way he always seems to dwarf you in his embraces, whether because of his height or his bear-paw hands. "I mean, don’t that again," you let out a soft laugh, "but I know why you did it, and I love you for it." 
Harry smiles rivals your own now, as your hands smooth up his arms to clasp at the nape of his neck, "plus, my boss is a jerk anyway so, who cares?" You pull him in a loving kiss then and his arms wrap themselves around your shoulders in a tight lock. His lips are as soft as ever between your own, and you detect the faintest taste of pepper and other exotic herbs lingering on their edge, from his cooking endeavors. He’s always been one to have a taste or two while he’s working, whether that be in the kitchen or other rooms…and regardless, you always like it when you get your share from his supple lips.
He feels slightly distracted against your mouth though, his technique not as ravishing as it usually is. and before you can wonder why, he’s pulling an inch away from your swollen lips, hurriedly whispering your tender confession back to you as though the words couldn’t be out of his mouth and into your heart fast enough, "I love you too, pet. So much." His hands are cajoling your face, thumbs drawing soothing circles across your cheeks, and his beaming smile is melting your heart in a goo of pleasure after all the strain it suffered in the past couple of days.
"Fuck, c’mere, don’t ever wanna stop kissing you," Harry mutters against your lips before diving in for a real mind-bending, soul-shaking, tantalizing kiss this time. Just like that, all your worries and sorrow evaporate into thin air, only to be replaced by an intoxicating pink loving brume. You two definitely spend the most perfect evening with lots of cuddles and endless mind-blowing lovemaking. Screw everything else.
➪ Masterlist
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bopbopstyles · 4 years ago
Note
if u expanded on the cum in the mustache dream i think i would die
you ask and you shall receive. as always, i am here to please the people (but also myself bc whOoWeE this is hot). note: in this concept y/n and h are not in italy/france bc nobody should be travelling rn :) 
You had grown used to the sight of Harry with a beard during quarantine. At first you were a bit unsure of your feelings, not being used to the feeling of his longer whiskers against your cheeks, but with time you discovered that the feeling sent shocks through your body. And obviously the minute Harry discovered how hot you found it, he decided he wouldn’t be shaving any time soon. 
On a relaxed Wednesday night, you laid in bed, curled up reading a True Crime novel that your mom had sent you to read during quarantine. Harry was in the bathroom taking a bath and doing his nightly skincare routine, which rivaled yours in complexity. Your shared nighttime playlist played through the speaker in the bedroom, your body completely calm in an oversized shirt of Harry’s you were wearing to sleep. 
You looked over at the clock. It was nearly eleven, and you wanted Harry to come into bed and cuddle with you. He’d spent nearly forty-five minutes in the bathroom, and while he definitely took his time, this was absurd. “H?” You turned off the playlist and put a bookmark in your book to hold your place. “Almost done?”
You waited for his reply, but got none. Unusual. So you got up, padding over to the closed bathroom door. He loved steaming up the room when he took hot baths, despite your annoyance. You were about to open the door when you heard a low buzz coming from inside the room. 
He was fucking shaving.
That bastard. 
“Harry, I swear to God if you are shaving--” You swung the door open, and found a fully naked Harry, clad in just a towel around his waist, staring at you in the mirror. 
And in one hand, low and behold, was his electric razor. That sneaky, sneaky man. “Hi love,” he had the audacity to quip, keeping his eyes steady with you as he raised the razor back to his face.
Only then did your eyes actually fall to his mouth, to where his beard was. That was when you saw what he had done: he had shaved off most of the beard you had grown to adore, and left just a mustache on his upper lip. “Did you...shave off your beard...and leave just a mustache?”
“Mhm,” he murmured, unable to speak as he swiped the razor down his soapy skin. 
You were leaning against the doorjamb, taking in the sight in front of you. Quite frankly, you weren’t quite sure how you felt about it. You had never seen Harry like this and it wasn’t bad, per se, just not at all what you were expecting. At first, it honestly reminded you of a 70s porno mustache, but the more you studied him the more you softened to the idea. 
And began considering how it would feel against you. 
You shifted, and closed the distance between yourself and your boyfriend, your hands moving around to his chest so you could tweak his nipples slightly. He stiffened in your hold at the feeling and you grinned cheekily, knowing how quickly it got him going. “Almost done?”
Harry nodded ever so slightly, and you leaned your chin on his shoulder, watching him finish up in the mirror. With a few more swipes of the razor, he flicked it off and set it on the counter. His face was all soapy and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it all off. So you did, grabbing a washcloth, wetting it, and motioning for him to turn. 
He followed your directions immediately because let’s face it, he was wrapped around your finger. You brushed the cloth to his skin, the soap disintegrating under your touch and leaving his clean skin behind. “I kind of like it,” you said, and the corner of Harry’s lips turned up at that. 
“Yeah? Was scared you’d hate it.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
He shrugged. “Always wanted to and I never have it this long. Thought if you hated it that much I could always just shave it all off and start over.”
You hummed at the prospect before wiping off the last bit of soap. You studied his new mustache and decided that it definitely had some interesting plus-sides. “I want to try one thing before I’m completely decided.”
Harry’s hands rested on your waist as you set down the cloth, rucking up his shirt on your body so that he could feel your bare skin. “And what’s that?”
You ran your forefinger down Harry’s chest, watching his skin prickle at your touch. “I’d like to feel it between my legs,” you murmured. “Against my pussy,” you added, words barely a whisper between you two.
The reaction from Harry’s body was immediate. His grip tightened on your hips, knuckles turning nearly white, a heavy groan falling from his lips. “Think I can do that,” he mumbled, words tripping over each other. He licked a tongue across his bottom lip and you watched in rapture, desire pooling in your center.
Harry pushed at his towel and in an instant was pulling your legs up and around his waist, carrying you to the bed. Your lips found his, desperate to know what the new mustache felt like against your face. It was a bit rough, since he hadn’t had time to moisturize, but you didn’t mind it. Liked knowing he’d leave a bit of irritation behind, something to remember him by in between kisses. 
When he dropped you to the bed, you scooted back immediately and Harry followed you like a cat on the prowl. However, when he reached you, he flopped to the side, back hitting the duvet. His hands grabbed at your skin and then he said, “Come sit on my face, darlin’.”
You didn’t need to be asked twice. Your legs swung over his chest, his hands fastening to your thighs, and helping you inch up his body until your center sat directly over his lips, just an inch or so between your lips and his. “Haven’t done this in a while,” you reminded him. You’d missed it too.
“Because I cum everytime I do and then I can’t be inside your sweet, sweet, pussy,” he replied, ending each sweet with an open mouthed kiss to your inner thigh. 
You were squirming in his grasp, knees pressing against his temples in desperation for him to move. And when he did, you spat out a curse mixed with his name. “Fuck, Harry, fuck.”
He pulled you flush against him as he licked against your center, and that was when you finally felt his mustache against your skin. It brushed against your clit and you keened, head tipping back as he moved his tongue over you. Your hands were in his wet curls, holding his head to your center and without even thinking about it, you were moving your hips against his lips, unable to stop yourself. 
You were chasing his mustache, the way it nudged at your skin and set it on fire. That combined with his tongue darting inside of you and curling had you a blubbering mess above him. “Harry, please, please, please...” You could do nothing but pant, mumble nonsense as he made pleasure roll through you like a storm. 
Overwhelmed by his touch, your fingers pulled on his hair and he moaned--the combination of the vibrations against your skin and the roughness of his mustache left your spine arching. His hands left your thighs and move upwards, pushing up the shirt of his you wore in search of your breasts. You helped him, tugging at the fabric until it was on the ground, and Harry found what he was searching for, rolling and tweaking your nipples and leaving you moaning in response. 
His mustache was going to be the death of you, you thought as he tilted his chin ever so slightly and it rubbed against your clit. It was almost simulating the brush of fingers, delicate, coming and going with no rhythm. It continued to surprise you and you were panting his name, telling him to Please don’t stop--fuck--don’t stop--yes--H--please.
You could feel the tension tightening in your belly, the way your legs started to shake on either side of his head. Your wetness was pooling, you knew, all over him. You didn’t know if you had been this wet in a while, the combination of his saliva on your skin and your own juices making a mess on him. 
“Gonna cum for me, baby?” You felt the vibrations of his words and heard them, despite the fact that your hips were flush to his face. 
And fuck yes, you were going to cum. It was hurtling towards you like a freight train and each time his head tilted and his ‘stache brushed another fraction of your skin it was like a shock of lightening. Harry had always been good using his tongue, skilled beyond belief, so the feeling of his tongue licking in and out of you, lapping at you without abandon, combined with his mustache was a recipe for an orgasm like no other. 
“Yes,” you moaned out for him, pulling hard on his hair when he sucked at your clit. 
“Want it,” he said, words muffled but not intelligible, “give it to me, yeah? Want it all over my face. All over me, baby.”
That was all you needed. Your whole body shook in his grasp, back arching and falling, spine curving as you supported yourself ever so slightly on your knees. But mostly, your entire weight was balanced on Harry. He was holding you steady on his face and in his hands, and you were perfectly happy to never move. The crest of your orgasm had you coming harder than you had in the past few days, the feeling leaving you unable to even think. 
And then he turned his head from side to side, just slightly, and your sensitivity mixed with his whiskers directly moving across your clit had you buckling, body convulsing above him. 
You heaved a breath and slipped your hands from his hair to the bed. Pushing your weight into your hands, you were able to clamor off of him, moving down so your center sat on his hips, not his face. And what you encountered there was just as you expected.
“You came too,” you said in an exhale. 
“Course I did.” And then your eyes lifted from the ropes of cum on his stomach to his face. His lips were glistening, set in a wide, fucked out smile as he looked at you. But your gaze was caught specifically on the slick in his mustache, and you realized he had your cum in his ‘stache. 
“You’ve got my cum in your mustache.”
What he did next had you breathless. His tongue darted out and ran across his mustache, collecting your juices and then slipping his tongue back into his mouth. You watched as he swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Tastes delicious.”
You pressed your lips to his and you collected the rest of your cum when you licked your tongue into his mouth, his hands gripping your hips as you kissed him. You could taste yourself on his tongue, smell yourself as you kissed him, remnants of your juices still on his mustache. And you fucking loved it. 
“So,” he said when you pulled away, hovering above him, eyes on his. “What do you say? Like the ‘stache?”
“Hate you,” you mumbled and Harry let out a laugh before caging you in his arms and holding you close, just as you had wanted all night. 
literally send me straight to fucking hell
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dreamties · 4 years ago
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Slashers x S/O in a LDR
A/n- Oh, anon! Same hat! Same hat! I’ve considered making something like this a few times, I was so happy to finally make them!! :D
I’m currently working on stuff for Randy Meeks, Kurt Kunkle, and Lester Sinclair- but if there’s still a character you wanted but don’t see here? Feel free to let me know, and I’d be glad to whip something up for them, as well!
Characters: Billy/Stu and Norman Bates
T/W: mostly fluff with a side of abandonment and mommy issues. and some swearing? (is damn a swear word? I used it a lot)
Billy Loomis & Stu Macher
Word  Count: 992
Y’all met in high school- the three of you practically inseparable. But then college happens- and you would’ve loved to stay with Billy and Stu, but the sort of situation arises where you can’t possibly turn away the opportunity. It would be such a mistake, especially for the line of work you’d like to be in. 
And now you may be thinking, Stu’s family is rich rich, right? Couldn’t they just,, buy they’re way in, so you didn’t have to part? Well...I guess they could? These boys aren’t afraid to take what they want, no matter what that entails- but I feel like there might be a lost sense of pride buying their way in. 
...plus...they may or may have not tried...and the school definitely did not accept that shit.
So with that, the three of you end up at different colleges- well, Billy and Stu are at the same place but...you’re so far away 🥺🥺
You’re still in California- but you’re far enough away that they can’t do one to two day trips to see you. It still hurts so much to be apart from them though- especially since both of these boys are so, hmm how to put it...they’re very affectionate and needy (while that last bit may be more so Stu, Billy still fits the Bill on that one).
You only visit each other on holidays and during the summer- and you always stay much longer for the summer.
When Stu sees you again, the first thing he does is wrap you in the biggest, almost suffocating hug- Billy trailing close behind him, laughing at his antics. He basically holds on to you for the entire ride from the airport back to the house (depending on who’s visiting who- but you’ll often come back to Woodsboro, and stay with Stu). 
They think about you all the time when you’re gone. It’s kind of nuts. They’ve got so many other things going on in their lives- they’re still participating in Ghostface murders, they’ve got college and Real jobs ((Stu doesn’t even need a job, but he likes staying close with Billy and having something to do !! He doesn’t like staying by himself too much :(  )) and even with all that? You still end up worming your way into their brains. Collective brainrot over you lmao /j
You call each other everyday- or every other day if schedules are tight. The good thing is...is y’all are both in Cali !! There are no stupid time zones, y’all don’t gotta worry about that >:( 
They want to make sure they know everything that’s been going on with you- even if it’s some boring class, it’s totally worth it just to hear you talk.
There’s lot of them telling you all the things they want to do to/with you when they finally see you. It’s all about the heavy yearning folks. The ache that you feel when you realize you can’t do that right now. And not for a long time. 
You just want to stay with your boys, cuddled on the couch, watching B-rated slasher films. You want to look them in their pretty, perfect eyes, and let your fears and worries melt away, while you tell them how much you love and missed them. And to finally feel your boys’ hairs through your fingers again.
And the crashing, sudden realization, after they drop you off at the airport- and you have your drawn out, tearful goodbyes...the kind you see in movies- that you won’t see them again. Not like that, at least. And not for months. It was back to counting down the days again. Being thankful for every little moment you had with them- and every call, and every weird text message they sent. Allowing every soft, intimate moment away from each other to guide you back home.
Billy’s not great at dealing with his emotions...especially in positive ways. The relationship can definitely be super hard on him, even if he doesn’t really show it. It brings up a lot of his abandonment issues with his mom :( Having you go off to college is losing part of his support system, and it physically pains him to not see you in Woodsboro. You’re part of his little found family with him and Stu. And when you’re not there? Sometimes it feels like he’s lost you. that you’re not coming back from school, and you’re going to have left for good. Which is not true at all, and he knows that...but god damn is it hard to not listen to that dark, nagging voice sometimes. 
And for Stu? He doesn’t mind as much. He doesn’t share this same trauma involved with it that Billy seems to have. But it still hits him in all the wrong places. He’s more likely to show his true emotions than Billy. And that’s actually really good !! He’s able to properly communicate with you whats going, where he’s at with things. 
It can be kind of exhausting trying to translate Billy’s feelings to you- for all parties involved. Or Billy, who’s learned a certain way to communicate that works, and then having to find a new way that makes sense over text and phone calls. Since you can’t see all his body language, and the way he tenses up when he’s filled with Big Emotions. 
TLDR; dealing w/ emotions is tough, doing it via limited technology is harder :(
and y’all know it’s tough on each other- but like hell you’re not gonna make it work with each other. Y’all are meant to be, even if the relationship is in a bit of an odd spot right now. 
You always have to remind the boys that this is only temporary. just until your 4+ years of schooling is over, and then you can move back to Woodsboro. Then you’ll have all the time in the world to plan your lives together.
Norman Bates 
Word Count: 784 
You meet Norman at his motel. You’re just passing through, on your way to a gathering with some of your family. He’s a little odd, but such a gentleman, that you make a note to stay at his motel on the way back home, as well.
Norman’s completely enamored by you, and you say “I’ll see you soon” that first time, he can nearly feel his heart skip a beat. He’s a smiling, happy little mess about it. You wanted to come back here, for him? He can’t wait for it.
Part of him was worried you wouldn’t come back, and that part of him was very scared- but you were so genuine, he could tell you’d be back. For real.
He still finds himself surprised, when a few days later you’re back there. When you leave, you give him your home phone number and address. Letting him know if he was ever going through your town, and he needed a place to stay that...well...he was always welcome at yours.
Y’all aren’t even dating at this point, but you definitely felt this spark- this connection- when you met. It was unlike anything the two of you had ever felt before. So...your relationship starts off slow. It builds overtime. 
It had been a few weeks since you met- with Norman’s work at the motel and whatever work you do, it was hard to find time between it all- but you’re finally able to start weekly phone calls with each other. Catching up with each other, asking him about the motel, and his hobbies...he’s so thrilled when you talk to him about the taxidermy! Not many folks are very er...into it. So it’s a nice surprise for him that the person he likes...cares about what he likes.
Further into y’all’s relationship, the weekly calls will turn into twice a week and sometimes and slowly, slowly melt into sending letters with each other as much as you can. Every few weeks or so, you’d get the sweet pleasure of seeing Norman’s simple letter in your mailbox. Smiling as you spot your name in his nice, neat handwriting.
Often you’ll include clippings from articles or magazines that reminded you of him, and little photos of yourself, your family (and pets if you have any) and critters, and bugs and shots of nature. He loves the ones you send of birds and trees the most- but he keeps every single one you send him. He has a whole drawer full of your letters.
A while into exchanging letters, the two of you begin signing off every one with an “I love you”. It’s not until you see each other in person again that you fully realize your feelings. I mean, they were always there- but it took the pair of you an impossibly long to speak it out loud- to make it official. 
It had been just under a year since you met- and you’re finally back at the Bates motel. There’s no special reason, you’re not seeing family, per se. But you’re starting something you should have started ages ago. Every part of your being is teeming with nervous excitement- what if you had read the letters all wrong? Every I love you, meant as friends?
You're quick to let him know of your arrival- he’s surprised, he didn’t expect you and you wrap each other in a large hug. You don’t let go for sometime, and when you finally do, you still clutch on to his smooth, slender hands. You lean into him, “I’ve missed you.” He looks at you with soft, shiny eyes, lost in your own. You press a subtle kiss to his lips, and pull away soon after. You feel your face get hot, and you can only imagine that Norman’s face would be bright pink.
He doesn’t say anything at first, simply squeezing your hands. “I did, too,” he smiles. It’s so delicate, and you can’t help but hold his face in your hands- studying every little detail. Of course, he sent you photos of himself from time to time- but it wasn’t the same.
The week that you spend with him is magical. When you leave you already find yourself missing the time you had with him- but you suppose that feeling and the wait to see Norman- was worth it. Plus, you still had the phone calls and all the letters with I Love You in them. Besides, with time, you’d be back at his motel- or he’d finally take you up on your offer, and you could finally spend a sunny morning, lazing around cuddled with each other in your bed, in your town.
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reidgraygubler · 4 years ago
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a different type of high (spencer reid/reader) pt 8
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Title: A Different Type of High (part eight)
Request: no
Couple: spencer reid/gender-neutral!reader
Category: angst
Content Warning: kidnapping, drugging, needles, mild stalking, mentions of drugs (oxycodone and tranquilizers), mentions of guns (but not actually being used),  mentions of anxiety, swearing, allusions of sex (from the night prior), kissing
Word Count: 2,162
Summary: While Spencer is at work, Reader does some out of the house chores and makes plans for dinner.
A/N: this is possibly the shortest part of this series. i didn’t struggle with it, per se, i just didn’t know what to do because i just had to get reader’s pov from what happened in the last part… that’s why it’s short. i was worried about it being too repetitive. i haven’t updated this series in a hot minute and i’ve been thinking about it the last few days :D thank you all for the love and support! check out my masterlist!
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{***}{***}{***}
I smiled as I skipped up to Spencer. He cautiously moved the mug away from his body as I wrapped my arms around his middle. “Have a good day,” I smiled before going on my toes to press my lips to his. Spencer hummed happily as he carefully deepened the kiss as he wrapped his free arm around my body. I couldn’t help but smile, wishing I could stay in this moment forever. 
“You too,” he whispered, looking down at me with a soft smile. Although he had a certain exhaustion in his eyes, he looked at me like I was his everything. And he held me like that too. 
I smiled again when he pressed his lips back to mine for the briefest of moments. When he pulled away from me, he smiled, and that was when I noticed a purpley mark on his neck. My smile grew mildly wicked as he slowly walked away. The grip I had on his hand tightened for a moment as I was left holding just his finger tips. My body instantly longed for him.
I sighed as I watched Spencer leave his apartment, leaving me alone in his home. It was comfortable, and nice that he trusted me in his home. I’d rather be here than in my gloomy apartment. His home was… lived in and nice. 
I frowned when he got into a taxi and finally rode away from me and his home. I wished so badly that it was our home. But, I understood why it wasn’t. 
With a deep sigh, I pressed the door shut and returned back to his place. I went to the bathroom to get ready for the day. My reflection caught my eye, forcing me to stare at myself and smile. A purple mark on my neck got me to bring my hand to it and brush my thumb over it.
“Bastard, no wonder why he was smiling at me,” I scoffed before grabbing a hair elastic off the counter and pulled my hair back in a messy ponytail. When I was okay with what my hair looked like, I stole a bit of his mouth wash and deodorant. Surely he wouldn’t mind. I looked fine, wearing his button up and cardigan with my jeans. It was more so the comfort I sought out. 
“Alright, I’ll be back,” I looked around the apartment with my bag over my shoulder. “I won’t be gone long,” I spoke mostly to myself as I stepped out of the home with a key in hand. 
I began my trek back to my own apartment. There were a few things there that I needed cleaned and wanted back with me at Spencer’s. Then, with the little bit of money I had, I wanted to get food. Spencer’s cabinets and fridge were basically empty, with all the travelling he did for work it didn’t surprise me. But, if I was going to be staying there more often, I would be needing food. I think he’d be happy with a semi stocked fridge. Maybe I’ll make dinner for him too... Although it’d just be spaghetti.
“I think I’ll do that,” I whispered as I looked down at the ground. With each step I took, I found myself further from our home and closer to a place I never really wanted to return to. I knew the day would come when I had to go back to my own apartment. But, I felt safe at his home and I think I needed a certain level of safety and security. And Spencer had it. 
“Where is that key,” I muttered to myself as I rifled through my bag. I was happy when I grabbed the bronze key to my place. When I did enter the dingy, mildewy place, I sighed. Of course, it was left a mess. It’d been days, if not weeks, since I was last here. 
I tried to be quick, quicker than I’ve ever been, as I grabbed a laundry basket and clothes. When I went into the bathroom to grab my toothbrush, an orange bottle caught my attention. And, then I realized… It’s been six months since I’ve touched it. I missed it, I really did. But I didn’t need or want it… Well, maybe the tiniest little part of me wanted it. 
“Not today,” I muttered, grabbing my toothbrush before leaving the bathroom and apartment all together. I didn’t need to be in a place like that. I didn’t want or need that shit in my life right now, or anymore. 
I could just imagine… Later tonight when Spencer and I are in bed, my body curled into his side, talking about our day… I could feel how proud he would be when I told how I didn’t take into any temptations. I looked forward to that.
I thought about life in the future as I walked down the street to the laundromat near my apartment complex. All the possibilities of what could come and what could happen? I’m not saying it’s looking good, but it’s looking good. 
The laundry basket bounced on my hip as I happily hummed a silly little tune. When I entered the laundromat, 2 men were inside, sitting and leaning by a washing machine. I kept my eyes low as I walked past them and towards the further washing machine.
“Hey there, Honey,” one of them spoke as I hurried past them. I glanced at them, not saying a word. I was thankful they only muttered things to themselves as I walked away. But, it still left an unsettling feeling with me. I didn’t like it. 
My eyes shifted between the washing machine and pay phones. I was tempted to call Spencer or Penelope to keep myself busy while I waited, but I know they’d both be busy with work and didn’t want to be a bother. But, I know Spencer would rather have me call him than be left alone… 
“I shouldn’t,” I muttered as I sat on the ground by my machine. The rumbling of the machine only caused a minor headache, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve suffered. And, it could be worse than a minor headache that I inflicted upon myself.
Even after an hour of being in the laundromat, the 2 men stayed, well after their laundry was done. And I hated the way they looked over at me. It was uneasy at the moment, but I ignored it. 
Which, now, I’ve learned I never should do.
I didn’t bother folding my clothes, just crammed them into the basket and was quick to leave. I kept my head low as I rushed past the men, and made my way back towards Spencer’s house. After I dropped the basket of clothing off, I went to the market down the street. 
“Spaghetti… or… I’m sure he’d like whatever I make. And, to be fair, so would I,” I muttered as I grabbed a box of pasta and a jar of sauce. 
“I think just ice cream would work,” I whispered, looking at the freezers filled with various flavors. Strawberry was calling my name, but I knew Spencer liked birthday cake ice cream. Okay, to be fair, I liked any type of ice cream. Growing up it was rare that I got it… So I guess any flavor of ice cream will be good. Birthday Cake it is!
I quickly grabbed a few other groceries before leaving the market. It was weird, I was alone… It felt like I was alone, right? I mean, I went into the store alone, so I should be leaving the store alone… There was just something that I couldn’t explain. 
My step hastened as I walked down the street back to the safety of Spencer’s apartment. 
But for some reason, I felt a gross feeling taking over my body. The hairs on the back of my neck stood, and a sick feeling grew in my stomach. It felt like someone was watching me, following me from each place I've been to today. But whenever I looked over my shoulder, no one was there, no one was following me.
I was quick as I reentered Spencer's apartment building. Fighting myself as I struggled to pull out the key to unlock his home. It was even more of a fight when I got back in. I didn't feel safe like I usually do when I'm in Spencer's apartment. His apartment is usually the safest place I could be in, other than by his side.
So can someone please tell me why I didn’t feel safe as I got back home?
I swallowed roughly as I locked the door with my face glued to the peephole. A figure moved past the door before something was pushed against the small hole. I stumbled back, knocking into almost every book shelf and side table I could. I didn’t even care when I accidentally pushed everything off the surfaces. All the bags I was carrying dropped to the ground, and dinner and dessert was no longer my concerns.
I looked around the room, looking for Spencer’s home phone. A sigh of relief fell from my mouth when I finally picked it up and pressed it to my ear. 
“Fuck, phone number,” I muttered as I looked around the surface for his number. I swallowed roughly as I finally got his number punched in and the dial tone ringing through.
“This is Doctor Spencer Reid,” Spencer’s voice was low, and I felt my body slightly relax as I heard his voice
“Hey,” my voice was soft, and I hoped as urgent and scared as I thought. I hoped the message got across that way, if anything what I said next certainly should. “Hey, I... I, uh… I know you don’t like it when I call… When you’re on, uh… You’re at the office. But I think… I think someone was followin-” my words were cut off short by loud and harsh pounding on the door. I swallowed roughly as I looked that direction, seeing the door and the knob shake on the hingines. My body tensed, my muscles shaking and tense as the seconds ticked by. I was fucked.
“Spencer, I think someone’s trying to break in,” I could feel a certain shaky timbre in my voice, and I really didn’t know what to do.
“Spencer, what… What do I do?” I whispered as I hid under the small table that held his phone. My heart was beating so hard in my chest and I could feel it in my throat.
“Don’t… Listen, don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. Okay?” Spencer replied, I could tell he was trying to be confident with his words. But there was a certain shakiness in his words. I hoped he could say more, to help me. I swallowed roughly as I looked back at the door, seeing the knob finally twist without any issue and the door slowly open. 
“Spen-Please.. Please hur-” I widened my eyes as something was placed right at the side of my head. The phone stayed pressed to my ear and I couldn’t stop whispering Spencer’s name. Dial tone came through the receiver instead of his voice.
“Put the phone down, Honey,” the person spoke. I swallowed roughly as I pulled my hand from my ear and lifted it, and the phone, above to the guy. The man’s voice sounded familiar. The laundromat.
“W-what do you want?” I whispered, staying still under the table. My knees were pressed to my chest as I froze in place. I swallowed roughly as a certain dampness grew over my eyes. 
“We just wanna show you something, Honey,” the person spoke before grabbing a chunk of my hair and pulling me out from under the table. I screamed as he dragged me out to the floor between him and his friend. I laid on the ground, looking up between the two guys. 
The next thing I knew a needle was pushed into the base of my neck. The world around me spun and my skin burned. My body went limp, heavier than I could ever believe it to be, and my vision went dark.  
I wish I felt safe… I wish I knew what was happening and what would happen next. But, that’s the thing with shit like this, the innocent never know. The next second could be the last, and the wrong thing could set the bad guys off. I don’t know what I did, but I know I definitely didn’t deserve it… 
I just knew that what I had dreamt of last night, and so many nights before, a life and family with Spencer won’t ever happen. And my happy, domestic thoughts that I was thinking today, dinner and dessert with Spencer, getting ready for bed, telling him about my day… Was gone, lost… That feeling of a good and happy future… erased forever.
if you want to be a part the series taglist or have any comments/questions about this part, let me know here
series taglist: @itsametaphorbriansblog , @bxtchboy69 , @sammypotato67 , @seninjakitey  , @thatsonezesty13  , @thebluetint  , @honestlystop  , @herecomesthewriterwitch  , @mediocrity-atitsfinest  , @honeyboysteezy  , @aluna190  , @mggsprettygirl  , @vampiracontessa  , @cielo1984​
tags that didn’t work: @takeyourleap-of-faith , @shameleswhorehourstm  , @mediocrehamiltrash 
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speechlessxx · 4 years ago
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Bring Him Light - xi (King!Steve Rogers x Reader)
Chapter Summary: The reader reaches the second stage of grief – anger.
Warnings: angry!reader, reader’s mood swings rival Steve’s LMAO, fluff, angst
Word Count: 2.5k
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<- Last Part -=+=- Next Part ->
The summer sun was unrelenting. Beads of sweat appeared around your hairline as the sun scorched the parts of your skin that was exposed to its heated stare. The parts that were hidden were being scratched by the lace of the loose black gown you wore. The dress was ill-fitting, but no one expected you to dress to the nines after everything you’ve endured.
The kingdom may not have known the entirety of the story. Tales of the runaway queen were still whispered along with the stories of the cruel king. However, the rumors of the unhappy marriage were being put to rest for despite the hot day, your husband stood behind you with his arms wrapped around your body. He was the closest thing to comfort during this troubling morning. You laid the back of your head against his chest as silent tears rolled down your cheeks. The carriage in which your friend’s body was enclosed in was being sent to York to be put to rest alongside her parents. You cried silently for your loss as you said your final goodbye.
The rest of the day, you asked to be alone with your thoughts, opting to stay within your shared bedchamber. He wanted to stay with you, but you told him that he had a country to manage. Your husband didn’t like the idea of you being isolated – especially with Natasha riding off to York with Pietro. You would be completely alone.
But you faked a smile to your husband, trying to convince him you were fine. Steven knew otherwise. He felt as if he were attuned to your emotions by now. He could differentiate a fake smile from a genuine one. He knew this was only the calm to the storm. But he didn’t want to hover nor make you feel trapped. So, he reluctantly left you be.
He did, however, send food up with a servant. The woman stood at your door, a tray with hot soup and a loaf of bread in her hands. She gave you a kind smile and said, “the king would wish that you eat, your grace.”
You returned her smile and shook your head. “I’m not hungry.”
Her kind smile turned nervous as she chuckled. “I’m afraid he insists, your grace.”
“Tell my husband he can shove that hot soup right up his arse,” you chided as you closed the door, refusing to let her in despite her protests. You didn’t see the woman’s wide eyes as the color drained from her face. She was not excited to relay that message to her king – though she did still do it.
Minutes later, your husband barged into the room with the same tray in hand. You were in the balcony, paying him no mind. “You should be kinder to the servants,” he called out to you. “Who knows what rumors you’ll inspire?”
“Killer queen, perhaps? You’ve already taken the moniker of cruel, unfortunately.” You joked. He chuckled as he placed the tray on the foot of your shared bed and walked over to your spot on the balcony. You turned to him and gaped at him in shock.
“I am willing to trade,” Steve smiled as his arms wrapped around your waist.
“You’ve shaved.” You whispered. Your hands cupped his cheeks, grazing over the ghost of his beard.
“I thought perhaps I could use a change… Welcome a new era,” he told you. He gave you a peck on the lips.
“I liked the beard.” You whispered. “I thought you looked rather dashing.”
“Then, I will grow it out again,” Steven promised. “Come, let’s get some food in you.” You shook your head and told him you were not hungry. However, the untimely grumbling of your stomach told him otherwise. He smirked, knowing he had won. You groaned as he pulled you inside. “Did teasing the servant bring you any joy? You should’ve seen her face when she told me what you said.”
“So, I take it you did not shove a bowl of hot soup into your – “
“No.” Steve laughed, breaking a piece of the loaf and pushing it towards your lips. With a roll of your eyes, you allowed your husband to feed you. He’d alternate between the bread and the cooling soup.
“I can feed myself.” You muttered after the fourth spoonful.
“Then, don’t act like a child.” Steven scolded. Although you tried to take the spoon away from him, he reeled his arm from your reach and tutted at you.
He continued to spoon feed you, sometimes dipping bits of bread into the soup. You had never seen a massive man like your husband – muscular and intimidating, from first glance – act so soft… His movements were careful, not trying to overload you with food nor make a mess.
A somber feeling rushed through you as you pictured what he would’ve been like doting on his child. You pictured a sweet little angel with golden locks and his blue eyes, or perhaps they’ll have your features? Maybe a mixture of both of you? You imagined the baby that once grew inside of you was a baby girl. A princess, like her mother. You would’ve been a dream.
A dream that you lost forever.
Steven frowned as he saw your eyes glaze over with fresh, new tears. You blinked them away quickly, but they were relentless like the summer heat. He cast aside the spoon and pulled you into his chest, knowing the storm had finally come as you let out a sob.
He rubbed your back and told you it would be okay – although, he wasn’t sure if it’ll ever be okay.
In all his years on the throne, he had lost many friends. Some were so angry with him for letting Margaret control him for a decade that they refused to come back to court. Some had died alongside him on the many battlefields he’s fought in. He remembered the time when James, his oldest friend and closest confidant, had been on his deathbed. Thankfully, he recovered. Every loss – and near loss – affected him. Hell, the thought that you were lost at sea forever made him go on a rampage.
He knew he couldn’t possibly know what you were going through. He’s seen his friends and allies be struck down during battle, but to have witness your friend’s assault and to have her bleed out in front of you? To have the same nearly done to you and to experience losing your unborn child alone all in the span of a few hours?
His heart broke for you. He was angry for you. But he knew you didn’t need him unleashing his wrath – especially with the two traitors who deserved his ire were still at large. He knew you needed support. You needed your husband.
And he was more than happy to be there for you.
»»————- ⚜ ————-««
You eventually fell asleep in his arms. The servant had come in to collect the tray. She couldn’t help but smile when she saw her king and queen wrapped up in each other. She had never seen him more content – happy.
As the sun slowly began to set, Steven had slowly drifted off to sleep as well. Until Lord Barnes and Wilson barged in through the doors. The two sleeping monarchs jolted awake.
“Apologizes, your majesties,” James said, bowing.
“You’re back.” Steven responded as you sat up.
“Where did he go?” You wondered aloud.
“I’ve finally captured him.” James said. The vague statement made you uneasy. More secrets being withheld from you.
“Who?” You asked. Steven had finally told you the truth, and you no longer wanted to be kept in the dark about anything.
“Brock?” Your husband asked. The dark haired man nodded. You felt your blood run hot as you stumbled out of your husband’s arms and out of the bed. Your bare feet met the cold floor, sending a shiver through you as you remembered when you and Wanda ran barefoot in the corridors at night. “(Y/N) – “Steve called you, but you shook your head.
“I want to see him.” You argued. “I need to see him.”
“I don’t think that’s ideal, your grace,” Sam suggested. “Perhaps, this is a matter that the king should handle.”
“No.” You snapped, narrowing your eyes at the three men, who were all keen to protect you from this man. “I will see him.”
James opened his mouth to offer a rebuttal, but Steven raised his hand to silence his friend. He knew you needed this – any sense of closure was better than none.
The two lords led you and the king through the halls. James had explained that in order to not make a scene, he opted to stash Rumlow in the cellar. Brock Rumlow was a lord, a nobleman – and as much as Steve hated it, he did have royal blood running through his veins, too. Although striking him down for all the world to see would’ve sent a clear message – that all traitors would not be forgiven and that their actions will incite consequences, regardless of status – it would’ve been best to handle the situation discreetly. It would’ve speculation versus the words of a nobleman, after all.
Before entering the cellar, Steven looked over at you. The despair and sorrow were gone. There was still a hint of the tears made evident by the puffy eyes and flushed cheeks, but the look of determination took over your features – brows scrunched together, lips pursed. He knew there were a million things going on in your mind at this very moment. Still protective, the king subtly pushed you behind him as he entered the cellar. Behind you were the two lords.
The cellar’s walls were covered with barrels. There were two guards standing on either side of a man wrapped in chains. He was kneeling on the floor from what you could tell.
“Ah, Stevie,” Brock mocked, chuckling a little. “Barnes ever-so gently requested that I immediately return to the castle. I had to refuse. My estate had a small little fire. But, again, he was so kind in his request, I had to come back… Did you miss me, cousin?”  
“You ran from your crimes. Do not deny it, cousin,” Steven spat.
“Your estate was perfectly intact.” James added. “Your servants said that you were in a rush to leave. Packing away your belongings as if there was a fire.”
“You along with Pierce conspired to have my wife killed.” Steven snapped.
“I don’t think I know what crimes you speak of…” Brock said.
“You know,” you finally said. The room became stoic and silent as you moved from behind your husband. The lord stared at you in shock. “Like seeing a ghost, isn’t it, Brock?”
“You – you – “He stuttered. “Your grace.” He greeted, less confidently, bowing his head. You stared at him as your blood boiled. You remembered his caring touches. His small smiles and whispers, promising you safety. It was all a lie like the respect he threw your way.
Rumlow had various bruises lined on his face along with a puffed lip. He looked as if he were beaten. The thought of someone being tortured and harmed used to unsettle you, but now as you stared at one of the men who took advantage of your vulnerability – one of the men who put you on the boat, knowing the outcome would’ve ended with your dead body in the sea – all you could think of was good. He deserves it.
“Did you know?” You asked. Of course, you knew the answer. You wanted him to admit it. Admit it you – admit it your husband, to the guards, and the two loyal lords. You wanted to hear him say that he knowingly betrayed you and the crown.
“I – I – I don’t know what you mean,” Brock muttered. He adverted his eyes from your angry glare. The wife of his cousin – the wife he would’ve had, had Steven died from his several illnesses as a child – had an unnerving look on her face. He remembered your kind and thankful smiles when he spoke to you. It was long gone.
“You know.” You pushed. You felt tears prick in your eyes and you made no effort in concealing them. You were grieving. Not only for the loss of your friend but for the loss of your child as well. You were enraged. Everyone in the room could tell – could sense it. Even the two guards were afraid of you. You stalked over to Brock. “Look me in the eyes, Brock,” you scolded as you grabbed a fistful of his hair and craned his neck so that he met your angry eyes. “Look me in the eyes and tell me.”
Brock knew from the moment he agreed with Alexander Pierce to start conspiring against the king that one day, he would meet his cousin’s anger. Earlier in his years on the council, he was afraid of his cousin.
The skinny little prince had grown up to be tall, broad, and muscular. The ballads painted him as an Adonis who was strong as a bull, and his cousin made good on those depictions. He had fought alongside him in many battles. He had seen Steven tear into his foes. He’d witnessed the king’s ruthlessness on the battlefield firsthand.
Brock groomed himself to be accustomed Steven’s violence. As the years wore on, he became desensitized to it. He prepared himself for the day that Steven did strike him down or lock him away in the dungeon like the other traitors. He was prepared for the axe, sword, and torture.
He was not prepared for the woman who seethed in front of him.
He didn’t even think you had the capability to be as malicious as your husband – and quite honestly, neither did you. But circumstances changed. Lives have been lost. And you were enraged in a way you hadn’t felt before.
“You won’t?” You chuckled humorlessly when the man on his knees refused to speak. Every man around you was silent. You relented your grip in his hair as you stood up straight. “Very well.” You gestured to the guard on your right. “Cut his throat.”
“Wait,” Brock begged. “Wait, your grace – (Y/N) – “
The guard pulled out a dagger and held it to his throat when you laughed again. “Wait, stop.” The armored man held the blade centimeters away from the lord’s neck. You smiled at him wickedly. “Is that fear I sense in you, Rumlow?” Your brows knitted together. “Is that fear, my love?” You asked, turning around to your husband who enjoyed seeing his cousin squirm.
“I believe so,” Steven nodded, an equally wicked smile on his own face.
You bent down so that you were at the chained man’s level. You nodded to the guard, who pulled the blade away from his throat. You grabbed Rumlow’s hair again and gave him another sinister smile.
“You and Lord Pierce preyed upon my vulnerability and fears. You tried to turn me against my husband and in doing so, my friend died. My child died,” You spat.
The lord’s eyes widening in realization. He was not only dealing with the aggressions of a betrayed friend, of a queen who survived an attack but of an unhinged, grieving mother who lost her child.
“You may not admit your plans… Not yet. But you will. You may know my husband’s wrath inside and out, but you have not seen mine.”
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cherryrogers · 5 years ago
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➸ call me baby {1/3}
pairing: bucky barnes x reader | biker au
warnings: Smoking, some violence, mild drinking, mainly fluff.
word count: 8.1k
synopsis: Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker. And when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either. That was until you met one with pretty eyes and habit of calling you baby.
series masterlist
a/n: so this was originally meant to be one long piece, but i’m now splitting it into three parts. if you’d like to be tagged in the second part to this, please let me know !! please enjoy and thank you for reading my loves💓💓
A dark, cherry red shade was swiped carefully across her lips, accentuating the dark eyes staring back at her reflection in the circular mirror placed on top of the small desk she was sat at. Chocolate locks curled with precision, thin silver chains encircling her neck, resting on the cotton of her off-the-shoulder top.
You examined her reflection from your spot, laying on your stomach atop the white bedsheets of your friend’s bed. “You look like a doll, Pegs. Whoever this ‘Steve’ kid is, he’s real lucky.”
The brunette blushed momentarily, popping the lid of her lipstick back onto the tube and setting it aside as she took a final look in the mirror, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “He is lucky, isn’t he? You weren’t lying when you told me that red lipstick works wonders.”
“Of course I wasn’t; I’d never lie to you.”
Peggy scoffed at that, rising from her seat and placing her hands on her hips. “Oh, you wouldn’t? Was it not a lie when you said you’d be back in Brooklyn for the summer?”
“It’s summer now, isn’t it?”
“Yes, a year after you were meant to be back. You’re a little late, _____.”
A sigh left your lips as you rolled off your stomach, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. “I wasn’t lying then either, Peggy. You know if I had the money I’d have gotten a flight straight over to see you.”
Traveling after the summer following high school graduation had always been the plan. College had never been what you wanted, despite all your teachers telling you it was the path that you should follow. Unlike your childhood friend Peggy Carter, you weren’t interested furthering your education after high school. You were too enthralled by how much of the world you had yet to discover, having not taken a single step out of Brooklyn as a kid.
Peggy had been your best friend since middle school. Her family had moved from London to New York when she was still young, and she wasn’t sure that she would’ve settled in as well as she did if you hadn’t have made her feel like she had a new home in Brooklyn. When you told her about traveling around after high school, she was understandably upset, not wanting to enter the world of adulthood without her best friend with her for every step of the way. But she still supported you wholeheartedly, helping you find jobs around the city to earn you enough money to keep you going for the first month or so on the road.
After you left Brooklyn, you were on your own. Making your own money, finding temporary jobs for the temporary times you spent in cities you were eager to explore. Cheap motels became your shelter most nights, anyone you met almost never got your name, your only attachments to any city being the photos you took with the camera your parents had bought you for your sixteenth birthday.
Apart from missing Peggy, leaving Brooklyn to travel was the best decision you’d ever made. You hadn’t left the US just yet; you had a separate savings jar that was getting put towards buying a plane ticket to London. You knew that was the first place you wanted to go when you could leave America, the place where your best friend grew up. You offered for Peggy to come with you, give you a proper tour of the city, but she was too focused on college for the time being, and taking a trip to a different continent didn’t seem like the best idea in the middle of the first semester after summer, which is when you were hoping to have the funds to get there.
Last summer, you were somewhere in California, on the complete other side of the country to Peggy. You were a little hard up, and you barely had enough money to buy dinner, never mind a plane ticket to New York. Next summer, you’d promised. Though, you were sure it was fate that kept you from Brooklyn that summer, because not spending the whole summer with you meant that she spent it with somebody else - Steve Rogers. It was hard to stay in contact with Peggy, considering your phone was cheap and you barely had any credit, but the girl hadn’t had a bad word to say about her new boyfriend since the moment you landed in New York. You’d heard it all; he’s a sweetheart, he’s gorgeous, he’s a real good guy. And your first outing of the summer into the city was to meet the guy in the flesh.
“I know, I just missed you. It’s hard when you’re falling in love and you can’t even talk to your best friend about it.”
You snorted at her words, earning yourself an unimpressed look from your friend as she left her bedroom, you following behind her. “Falling in love? Maybe I shouldn’t have ever left, seems like you’ve gone crazy without me here.”
Peggy led you out of the front door of her small, suburban home, the heat of the July air hitting you immediately, making you thankful for your choice of outfit for the day; a simple black tank top with black and white checkered shorts, paired with short-heeled shoes that clicked against the pavement as you walked and a pair of black sunglasses, which were pulled from the top of your head to rest on the bridge of your nose. She’d insisted that where you were meeting Steve was only a short walk away, and the thought alone of even a spending a short amount of time under the hot sun in jeans or a jacket made you uncomfortable.
“Falling in love isn’t crazy, _____. You’ll understand when you experience it for yourself, trust me.” The brunette linked her arm with yours, rolling her eyes at your negative attitude.
“I’m not ever gonna fall in love, Pegs. There’s too many places to go, too many new people to meet. No time for love or any of that nonsense.”
You didn’t see any appeal in trying to find someone special, because it simply just wouldn’t work. Even if you did find someone you clicked with, you’d only spend maybe a month or so by their side before you were off to another city, and nobody was going to stop you from traveling the world if you had anything to say about it, no matter how ‘in love’ you were with them.
But you’d never been in love, and you weren’t going to be for a long time, if ever. You were a free spirit; a person with a heart that only belonged to you, and you were certain that it’d stay that way.
“If you say so, darling.” Peggy nudged you with her elbow, prompting you to nudge her back harder, making the both of you fall into giggles like you were kids again.
The two of you walked for a little longer, the tales you were recounting of your time in Los Angeles and Sam Francisco keeping you both occupied until you arrived at wherever you were supposed to be going.
When Peggy pulled you to a stop in front of a large, shabby building, you were noticeably confused.
The place wasn’t run-down, per se, but the white paint was peeling off the walls, revealing the dark wood underneath. It wasn’t a house, but the spacious, open garage in front of you definitely made it look like people lived there. There was a fridge in the corner of the room, next to a small bar with a couple of beer bottles sitting on top of it. Couches lined the cream walls of the garage, better painted than the outside of the building, and there was a motorcycle in the center on the room, some of the parts clearly missing, as if someone was in the middle of fixing it up.
There were more motorcycles parked outside of the garage, lined up on the driveway messily. You turned to your friend, eyebrow raised questioningly. “Is there a reason why Steve has so many motorcycles?”
A chuckle left her red-coated lips. “They’re not all his; this is the clubhouse.”
The what now?
You’d heard enough warnings from your parents when you were younger to stay away from motorcycles and clubhouses.
“Oh, Pegs. I leave you for a year and suddenly you’re seeing a guy in a biker gang?”
“It’s not a biker gang, stop being so dramatic.” The brunette began to lead you into the garage; you assumed she was allowed in freely for being involved with one of the members. “They’re good people, I promise. Not like the bikers our parents told us to stay away from as kids.”
Before you could make a further argument and irritate your friend even more, Peggy had turned the handle to a door at the back of the garage, leading out into a small, grassy area. A tall, brown fence kept the garden closed off from the surrounding areas, and a number of shrubs lined the edge it, hiding any part of the ground that wasn’t covered in grass. It looked quite taken care of - cozy, even. There was a barbecue in the corner of the space, currently not in use, but the fairly large picnic table in the middle of the area was occupied.
You weren’t sure how you didn’t hear it from the garage; the laughing and chattering coming from around the table. Green bottles clutched in some hands, cigarettes in between the fingers of others, leather jackets enveloping the upper bodies of everyone sitting at the table. They looked exactly how you pictured the members of a motorcycle club to look.
At the sound of two pairs of footsteps approaching the table, everyone’s heads turned to you and Peggy, and you noticed as a certain blond instantly shuffled along in his seat, his smile widening at the sight of your friend.
“Peggy, I didn’t know you were comin’ today.”
“Why, you aren’t happy to see me?”
“Course I am, sweetheart.” A faint blush rose in the blond’s cheeks, and it was safe of you to assume that this was Steve. “Sit down, will you?”
The brunette slid into the empty space next to Steve, an excited smile on her face. She’d been waiting a while to introduce you to her boyfriend, you could tell. “James, move along so _____ can sit down.”
Your eyes flickered up at the mention of your name, and landed on the biker sitting opposite to the couple, a cigarette resting between his lips. He seemed to be in the middle of a conversation with the redhead sat next to him before Peggy called his name. His gaze moved to you, blue eyes raking up and down your impatient stance, a smirk forming on his lips. Christ, was he deaf?
“Jeez, you’re lookin’ at me like you’ve never seen a woman before.” You spoke up, your own confidence shocking even you a little. Well, Steve didn’t seem like some big, scary biker - you doubted any of the others could be worse than him.
The biker’s smirk only widened as you pushed your sunglasses to sit on your head, eyes darting between you and Peggy. “Where you been hidin’ this gem, Peggy?”
“Just move along, jerk.” Steve intervened, earning himself an eye roll from his friend before he made a space on the bench next to him. Well, you didn’t really want to sit next to the guy anymore, but you weren’t trying to get a telling off from your friend.
“I was just askin’, Stevie.” He shrugged as you took the seat next to him, the heavy scent of smoke in the air making you crave a cigarette yourself. “Think I would’ve remembered Peggy bringin’ her around here.”
“_____ hasn’t been in Brooklyn for two years, so no, I haven’t brought her around here before. Even if I had, with the amount of women you knock around with, I’m not sure you would remember her, James.”
Despite it being an insult towards him, James chortled along with Steve, who wrapped a strong arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Anyway, everyone, this is _____ - we’ve been friends since middle school, and she’s only here for the summer. _____, you’ve met Steve and unfortunately, James; this is Natasha, Sam, and Clint.”
Peggy pointed towards each leather-clad person sitting around the table, the three you hadn’t met giving you a casual ‘hello’. You returned the greeting, before the your eyes landed on the empty pack of cigarettes in the centre of the table. God, you were really craving one.
To hell with it, you thought, turning to the man next to you, eyes on the stick between his fingers. “You mind if I take a drag of that?”
James’ eyes locked with yours, and you hated that his eyes were as pretty as they were. “Sure can, baby.”
Baby. Nobody had ever called you that before. Even when you were flirted with in random bars, and you sometimes flirted back for your own enjoyment, you’d never been called by the term, not with the softness that James had. But he probably called every woman he met baby, there was no reason to get all soppy about it.
Nonchalantly, you took the cigarette from his hand, fingers brushing together ever so slightly before you pressed the stick to your own lips, inhaling the smoke and feeling a wave of relief wash over you.
“So,” You started, breathing out a cloud of smoke. “Pegs didn’t tell me she was involved in a biker gang.”
The whole ‘motorcycle club’ thing still seemed a little sketchy to you; you just wanted to make sure your best friend was safe when you weren’t around.
“_____-” The brunette went to scold you, but was cut off by the blond next to her.
“S’alright, Peggy.” He rubbed her arm reassuringly, before turning his eyes to you. There wasn’t any annoyance in his expression at your bluntness, which was a good start. “We’re not a gang, really. We ain’t dangerous or doin’ anything we shouldn’t be.”
“So what, you just ride around on your bikes together? Like a cycling club?”
You heard a laugh from across the table, coming from the man Peggy pointed out to be Sam. “Never thought about it like that before, but honestly, that’s spot on.”
“No, it’s not.” Steve sighed, an amused smile creeping onto your lips at his unimpressed expression. “I mean, there’s other clubs that are worse than us, and sometimes we have a run in with ‘em...”
“As long as you’re keepin’ my girl safe, I don’t care who you’re running into, Steve.” You took another drag from the cigarette as the blond raised a brow at you. James let out a chuckle.
“Just ignore her,” Peggy sent you a glare. “She’s overprotective; always has been.”
“Course she’s safe, you don’t need to worry, _____,” Steve assured you. “I’d die before I let anything happen to her, not that anything would happen.”
Both you and James grimaced, probably looking like two kids seeing a couple kiss for the first time. “Christ, Steve. You’re soft as muck these days, you know that?”
“Shut up, Bucky.”
“What the hell is a Bucky?”
“It’s his nickname,” Peggy explained. “James’ middle name is ‘Buchanan’.”
“Your middle name’s ‘Buchanan’?” Clint perked up fron the end of the table, disengaging from his conversation with Sam and Natasha. “How come I never knew that?”
Bucky knocked his pointer finger against his temple. “‘Cause you’ve got nothing up here, Clint. I’ve told you middle name a bunch of times.”
Clint’s brows furrowed in offence. “Hey, that’s rich comin’ from you—”
“Can someone start cooking up some burgers on the barbecue?” Natasha interrupted Clint’s attempt at arguing back, standing up from her seat. “At least if you boys are eating, it means you’re not bickering like idiots.”
“I guess it’s getting close to supper time; Peggy and I will get the grill goin’.” Steve stood up, helping the brunette out of her seat too.
“I’ll get the plates.” Clint offered, heading for the garage.
“I’ll get the drinks.” Sam soon followed.
“You gonna stay for supper, _____?” Peggy asked, to which you replied with a head shake.
You shot her an apologetic smile. “I need to find a job for the next couple of months, can’t leave the city after summer unless I’ve got some more cash in my pocket.”
“Alright, I’ll call you when I’m back at home.” The girl smiled, and with a small wave, she left to follow Steve into the garage, leaving you and a certain biker alone.
Bucky turned to you, a smile pulling at his lips.
“You should stay.” He said suddenly, and you were a little taken aback. You hadn’t felt like you’d exactly made a good impression in front of him.
“D’you want me to stay?” You quirked a brow.
He shrugged, reaching for the short stick between your fingers and pulling it easily from your loose grip, pressing it to his lips. “Seems like you get on Peggy’s nerves as much as I get on Steve’s; could be fun if you stayed.”
The corners of your mouth almost upturned at his words, almost.
“Plus, you’re good eye candy.”
You scoffed, desperate to wipe the smug look of the biker’s face.
Plastering on a smile, you reached forward and plucked the cigarette right back out of his hand and stubbed it on the ashtray next to the empty packet in the middle of the table. Bucky didn’t seem too impressed. Shame.
You rose from your seat, ignoring Bucky’s stare on you before you made your way back towards the garage, sliding your glasses back over your eyes.
“I’ll see you round, Bucky.”
You weren’t sure how to feel about Bucky Barnes; he was kind of an asshole, frankly. But you probably wouldn’t see much of him during the rest of the summer, so you didn’t think much of it.
Well, that’s what you thought, anyway.
* * *
“Am I seeing things, or is that your biker clan walking towards us right now?”
It was supposed to be a girls day out. Just you and Peggy, spending the day at the carnival while the sky was still clear and the sun was still beaming. You’d been going to the carnival in the summer for years with your best friend, even from being in middle school. If there was one thing you were looking forward to while being in Brooklyn, it was this.
The feeling sort of faded when you saw the familiar group of leather-wearing bikers, wondering how the hell they weren’t sweating buckets in the heat.
“Steve wanted to hang out today, and I told him that I couldn’t since we were going to the carnival. I guess they just wanted to come along too.” Peggy shrugged, a smile widening on her wine coloured lips as she jogged towards the group.
“You invited them, didn’t you?” You called after her, tone laced in annoyance.
“It’ll be fun, trust me.” Those were the last words you heard from the brunette before she approached her boyfriend, planting a sweet kiss on his lips.
While you were in the midst of grimacing at the couple, frustrated that Peggy just had to invite along her new blond boyfriend and her new group of friends that looked like they’d come straight out of the film Grease, you hadn’t noticed one of the members of the club straying from the group, coming your way.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” A voice suddenly murmured in your ear, making you flinch, and your hand went over your chest in surprise.
“Jesus, don’t do that,” You scolded him with a glare.
“Not Jesus, but close.”
“Funny,” You shot him a mocking smile before turning back to look for your friend, who was already walking off Steve. Well, that was just great. Thanks a lot, Pegs. “And Peggy has ditched me for her boyfriend. Awesome. I might as well just go home.”
Bucky rolled his eyes, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You don’t need to go home, you have me.”
“You don’t need to pretend you wanna hang out with me, Bucky. Don’t you wanna have fun with your other friends?” You raised your brows.
“D’you wanna help me find ‘em?”
You were about to respond, when you noticed that his other friends had also taken the liberty of leaving the two of you to your own devices. The carnival was massive, too — trying to find them all would probably take hours.
A sigh left your lips as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Alright, fine. I hope you like the big rides, Bucky, cause we’re going on all of them.”
“That’s fine by me, baby,” He nudged your arm with his elbow, a boyish grin spreading across his lips as you guided him towards the nearest large ride. “But for the record, I’m not pretending that I wanna hang out with you.”
Your eyes met his, a slight smile pulling at your lips at the biker being, well, nice.
“Why would I pass up the chance to take a hot girl on a date, huh?”
Never mind.
You shook your head, glaring harder at the guy than you were before. “I’m gonna throw you off the top of the drop tower, I swear to God.”
Bucky only winked at you, before pacing quicker towards the tall, towering attraction in your line of sight. “C’mon, the line’s filling up quick.”
The wait for the ride wasn’t long, though it certainly felt long as you witnessed Bucky flirting with the two girls in front of you. You weren’t even sure if he knew that his bright eyes glistening in the sun and his wide smile were making the girls blush furiously, but either way, he didn’t stop talking to them until he had to when you sat on opposite ends of the ride to them.
You didn’t even know why you were annoyed. You didn’t know Bucky, and you didn’t necessarily like him all that much. But it irked you, seeing him just charm is way into two strangers' hearts like that. You were sure you’d seen their boyfriends wander off to some other stall only minutes before they set their eyes on Bucky, but you guessed that wasn’t any of your business.
Though, as happy as you were that Peggy had ‘fell in love’ or whatever, even seeing her and Steve being slightly affectionate with each other made you nauseous. Romance just wasn’t your thing, basically.
He noticed the unimpressed look on your face as the worker strapped you into your seats. “What’s wrong, baby? Don’t wanna go on the big rides no more?”
“Stop calling me that.”
“You don’t like it?”
Well...
“No, I don’t.”
However, with your slight moment of hesitation, you’d somehow managed to boost Bucky’s ego even higher than it already was.
The boy smirked across at you. “You like it, don’t you? You like it when I call you baby.”
“Remember what I said about throwing you off the top of this ride?” You threatened, only earning yourself a laugh from the biker.
Before Bucky could continue his teasing, the ride jolted to a start, and you hoped that meant that Bucky would keep his mouth shut for the next five minutes. Apparently, it didn’t mean that at all.
“You know,” The biker yelled over the racket of the ride elevating from higher up the tower. “I think they did this on purpose.”
“Who did what on purpose?”
“Steve and Peggy; leaving us by ourselves.”
You scoffed at him smirking suggestively at you. “You’re delusional, Bucky. Delusional.”
But honestly, you wouldn’t have put it past your best friend. Perhaps she was determined to make you fall in love to prove that it would happen to you one day.
Well, it certainly wasn’t going to happen with Bucky, that was for sure.
The ride eventually reached the top of the tower with a click, and you didn’t miss the string of curse words that left Bucky’s lips as his eyes roamed the view of the carnival from where you were in the air.
“What’s wrong, Bucky? Don’t wanna go on on the big rides no more?” You mocked his words from before, but the biker only gulped, and you sort of felt... bad.
He bit his lip, shaking his head and looking up. “I’m fine, just not a big fan of heights, that’s all.”
“Well, you picked the worst ride if you don’t like heights.”
He shot you a glare, but another smirk soon found his lips at you eyed him in a confusedly. Within seconds, he had his hand interlinked with yours, and you practically choked on your own saliva.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“I’m scared of heights; I need to hold your hand.”
“When we get off this ride, you’ll need an ambulance for when I kick you in the-”
And you couldn’t even finish your sentence, because soon enough, you were dropping from an 180ft height, and your hand was clutching Bucky’s possible tighter than his was clutching yours.
As it turned out, Bucky actually didn’t mind heights - the idiot just wanted an excuse to hold your hand.
It was safe to say that was the first and last ride you went on with him that day.
Peggy got an earful when you finally left the place, but she only told you that you’d have the rest of the summer to go to the carnival with her, but she thought it’d be nice to bring everyone else along, to leave you alone with Bucky.
You weren’t sure if nice was necessarily the word, but it was... something.
Something odd, definitely, because you couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of your hand in his from your mind.
* * *
It’d been two weeks before you found a job to get you through the summer. Two weeks of Peggy dragging you down to the damn clubhouse, two weeks of slowly getting used to being around the group of bikers, two weeks of Bucky calling you baby and you telling him to stop calling you baby.
When you’d finally managed to get Peggy on her own on a trip to beach one weekend, she’d asked you what you thought of him. Him specifically.
“I knew you’d warm up to them.” The brunette had said, leaning back on her palms as the sun hit her skin, grains of golden sand feeling soft between her fingers.
“They’re alright.” You’d replied, staring aimlessly at the dimmed clear sky through your sunglasses, lazily laid back on a pale pink beach towel. “Just a group of friends takin’ each day as it comes. Don’t need a lot of money, don’t need a lot of anything. There’s never a dull moment with them, is there? You’ve gotta admire that.”
Your words put a small smile on Peggy’s lips. “And Bucky? What do you think of him?”
Bucky. He called you baby when you told him not to, though you sort of glad he never stopped. He found your best friend and his best friend just as disgustingly sweet as you did. He had a smart mouth, but you had a smarter one. He was pretty, sure. He had his moments, and he ruined them himself when he made a stupid comment straight after. He flirted with you relentlessly, and you weren’t sure that he even knew he was doing it. He made you want to smack the smirk off his lips, but he also made you want to kiss it away.
What? No, you didn’t want to kiss him. You didn’t get attached, especially not guys like Bucky who didn’t seem to get attached either.
“He’s okay.”
The girl raised her brow, gazing down at you questioningly. “Just okay?”
His hand was rough against yours, you remembered; a feeling you hadn’t felt in a long time. He had dreamy baby blues and was too charming for his own good. He shared cigarettes with you and even offered to give you a ride home on his motorcycle when you were at the clubhouse late. You always declined, though, because... he probably offered every girl a ride home on his bike. Shared his cigarettes with a bunch of girls and charmed any girl that caught his eye.
Bucky didn’t want you, he didn’t like you like that. And that was fine, because you felt the exact same way. Or you liked to tell yourself that, anyway. But none of it mattered; you were only in Brooklyn for the summer, you’d probably never see him again for long time.
You exhaled quietly, letting your eyes flutter shut under your sunglasses.
“Just okay.”
The day at the beach was your last day of true relaxation before you got your new job; Peggy had talked to Natasha about you needing a job, and Natasha happened to have a friend that owned a bar not far from the clubhouse. It was always somewhat busy, even more so during the sweltering summers when everyone just wanted a cold bottle of beer to survive the heat.
Wanda, the owner of the bar, ended up offering you a temporary job. You’d worked in bars before in a bunch of different cities, saving up for your next round of traveling, so you were able to get started straight away. It didn’t mean you saw Peggy and the group any less, however, since they seemed to hang out at that bar regularly too.
Though, they failed to mention that they weren’t the only biker gang that liked to hang out there.
One light, Friday night, you were wiping down the top of the bar while the demand for drinks had died down for the time being. Peggy was sat on the stool opposite you, Steve was playing pool with Sam and Clint, Natasha was sat conversing with Wanda on the other end of the bar, and Bucky... well. Bucky was curled up on a couch in the corner of the room, partly shielded by the guys playing pool. Only partly, as you could still see him with his arm around a gorgeous blonde, signature smirk sitting comfortably on his lips as the girl placed her hand on his lower thigh. While you refused to let yourself stare, Peggy didn’t miss you glancing over at them from time to time, a slight crease in your brow.
“You can say it, you know.” She said, red lips pressed against the rim of her glass. “That you don’t like seeing James with another woman.”
A heavy scoff left your mouth, one that Bucky probably heard from his place in the corner. “Bold of you to assume I give a shit about who he chooses to spend his time with.” You did, however. You annoyingly did give a shit about who he spent his time with.
Peggy shook her head, chuckling lightly. “He likes you, I can see it.”
“He likes being a pain in my ass.” You narrowed your eyes, still having the stupid sight of Bucky and the blonde cuddling up together in your peripheral vision.
“Because it gets a reaction out of you. It’s obvious he wants your attention.”
“Well, Pegs, we’re not kids. He’s a big boy; if he wants my attention, he can talk to me, not some hot, beautiful girl whose makeup is actually really pretty...”
Okay, maybe it irked you a small bit. Only a tiny, tiny bit that you hadn’t spoken to Bucky at all that night. Peggy was about to tease you even more, sensing your jealousy with ease, until the doors of the bar swung open.
Everyone’s heads turned instantly, eyeing the new crowd of hard-faced, leather-wearing guys. You noticed Steve narrowing his eyes at the group from pool table, and you could assume test these guys weren’t exactly popular amongst his motorcycle club. Even Peggy’s eyes were drawn to them as they made their entrance. Well, Bucky still hadn’t pried his eyes away from the girl next to him, but whatever.
“Talk about a dramatic entrance.” You let out a laugh, but the brunette didn’t seem to find humour in the situation like you did. “Who are these guys, Pegs?”
She turned back to you, lips pressed into a narrow line. “The guys that Steve said his club have a run-in with from time to time, it’s them.”
“Oooh, does that mean there’s gonna be a brawl? I’ve always wanted to see a bar fight in real life.”
Your friend shot you a look, the look that she gave you at least ten times a day for saying something she didn’t particularly find amusing. Well, you win some, you lose some. “_____, they’re not like our guys. You should watch what you say around them.”
“Peggy, I think we’ve been friends long enough for you to know that I don’t watch what I say around anyone. Especially some dudes who think ridin’ around on bikes and starting fights randomly makes them all ‘alpha’-”
“Bars not that far from the entrance, sweetheart. We can hear ya loud and clear.” A raspy voice called from across the room, drawing your attention over to the group of new customers.
You leaned your elbows on the wooden bar top, ignoring Peggy’s warning look. “That’s great, man. Means you have working ears.”
The man in the center of the group scoffed, running a hand through his dark hair before making his way over to where you were stood behind the bar. You noticed Peggy shuffle uncomfortably, but she kept her chin up confidently as the man perched himself on the stool next to her, eyes trained on you. They scanned your top half up and down as if he was analyzing you, but you didn’t give him any sort of reaction. “You new around here?”
“New to working here, not new to Brooklyn.” You answered simply, adjusting your apron as you stood up straight. “D’you and your friends wanna order?”
“We’ll start with a round of beers.”
With a nod, you collected several glasses from the cabinet below the bar top and began filling them to the rim with beer. Apparently, this guy couldn’t just stay quiet as he waited for the drinks. He spared a glance at Peggy, who’d pulled out her phone as a way of not having to deal with any sort of interaction with him for the night. His eyes then went back to you. “You friends with Peggy, here?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Does that mean you’re part of Steve’s club then?”
A light chuckle left your lips as you slid a cool glass of beer across to the man, noticing as Peggy began to stand up from the stool she’d been sat on. Well, the guy didn’t seem that bad. You could have a conversation with him on your own, right?
“I’m not part of any club.” You smirked, prompting him to mirror your expression. He seemed pleased with your answer.
He sipped his drink lightly as you placed the rest of the drinks on a tray and positioned it on the end of the bar for the rest of his group to collect. “You know, I like you, birdie.”
“You’ve known me for thirty seconds.” You narrowed your eyes at him, leaning down on the bar again. “And if you call me that again, that beer’s getting chucked in your face.”
Ignoring your threat, he leans in closer, close enough that you can smell the smoke on his breath. “I think you’d fit in well with us.”
“Like I said, I’m not part of any club.”
While he didn’t seem like an immediate threat to you, you decided that whoever this guy was, you didn’t like him. It seemed like Peggy and the others already weren’t fond of him anyway, and they probably wouldn’t take too kindly to you bantering back and forth with him. And if he was only talking to you because he wanted you to join his damn club, then you didn’t care to talk to him for much longer.
The man inched his hand closer to yours, but you didn’t move a muscle. Letting your guard down in front of guys like him was something you refused to let yourself ever do. “My name’s Brock; care to share yours?”
“Not really, no.” You shrugged, about to step away from your position at the bar after noticing a few people waiting for refills, when you felt a hand clasp around your wrist. Your jaw tightened, snapping your eyes up to Brock’s. “Can I help you, Brock?”
“I think you should come sit over there with us.” He stated, and you looked over to where he was referring to. A large, circular table in the darker area of the bar, where the rest of his clan were laughing obnoxiously loud and chugging their drinks as if their lives depended on it.
You attempted to tug yourself away from his grasp yourself, but it only tightened. “I have customers to see to.”
“I’m sure Wanda can take ‘em.”
A deep exhale left your lips. You didn’t notice Bucky’s curious eyes lingering on you from his seat in the corner, no longer focused on the blonde. “Brock, get your fucking hand off my wrist.”
His features hardened, eyes no longer filled with amusement, but anger. “You know, you’ve got some balls speakin’ to me like that.”
You responded lowly and calmly, eyes never moving from his. “I don’t need balls to tell conceited assholes to fuck off.”
“You little-”
Before you could receive the abuse Brock was about to spit at you, the pressure was removed from around your wrist, and you were left with some faint bruising on your skin. However, that was the last thing on your mind as you watched the man being shoved from his seat on the barstool, the third of him hitting the floorboards drawing everyone’s attention to him.
Bucky. His jaw was clenched as he stared down at Brock on the ground with disgust, and from how close he was stood to him, you were sure that he was the reason the man was groaning on the floor at the moment.
“What the hell are you doin’, huh?” He yelled down at Brock, annoyance laced in his tone. “Grabbing a woman like that, what the fuck is wrong with you, Rumlow?”
Unfortunately for him, Brock wasn’t done yet. He sprung up from the ground, rage practically sleeping through his skin and slammed his fist into Bucky’s nose, sending him stumbling back a few steps. While you’d only just told Peggy that you wanted to see a bar fight, you didn’t really want to see one that involved Bucky, even if it was against some dickhead who had the nerve to grab you like it was nothing. It wasn’t long before Steve rushed over to the scene, clutching his friend by the shoulders so that he didn’t fall back completely. A harsh glare was sent towards Brock, who only stood smugly, ignoring the ache in his back from the fall.
“What’re you still doing here? Get the hell outta here.” The blond almost growled.
“I don’t take orders from you, Rogers. This ain’t your place.”
“But it is mine.” Wanda emerged from behind the bar, standing next to Steve with a raised pistol in her hands. Her accent was thick, and her expression serious. If you were Brock, you’d be crapping your pants. “Get out, now.”
The man frowned in frustration, darting his eyes between Bucky, who was holding his bloody nose, and you, who decided to say screw it and flip him off, to which he only looked more like he wanted to rip someone’s head off. Though, he eventually waved over his group of equally annoyed bikers and kicked open the doors of the bar, leaving the building with a harsh slam of the door.
And they didn’t even pay for their drinks, bastards. Now, now you saw why everyone hated them.
Your eyes flicked back up to Bucky. Red smothered his hands, pain flashing in his eyes as he touched his clearly broken nose gently, trying to assess the damage himself. Almost subconsciously, you grasped a thin towel from a counter under the bar, along with a handful of ice cubes from the ice bucket. You wrapped the ice in the towel, creating a barely-adequate ice pack before removing yourself from behind the bar to approach Bucky.
Steve gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder, stepping back as he saw you coming towards them.
Bucky’s gaze soon met yours, a new look in his eyes that you couldn’t quite decipher. Why did he do that?, you wondered. You weren’t in distress, you weren’t panicked in the slightest. Something must’ve sparked in him to make him leave the girl he seemed to have wrapped around his finger before, but you weren’t sure what that was.
Blood continued to gush from his nose, and it was likely going to make a mess if it wasn’t cleaned up soon.
You bit down on your bottom lip, looking over his nose and the blood trickling down his cupid’s bow. “C’mon, we need to get you some tissues.”
He had no time to object before you were ushering him towards the bathroom of the bar, taking him into the small room and shutting the door behind you to muffle the chattering that’d arisen from the incident. With a nod towards the toilet seat, you encouraged him to sit down as you plucked multiple sheets of tissue from the roll of toilet paper.
“You know,” Bucky spoke up as you placed a gentle hand on his jaw, angling it so you see the damage and wipe away the blood as best as you could. “You don’t have to do this.”
You huffed quietly. “You didn’t have to push Brock off his stool and get yourself punched either, pal.”
The biker furrowed his brows. “He had his hands on you, what was I supposed to do? Sit there and watch?”
“I could’ve handled it myself. I’m not some damsel in distress, you know.”
“Oh, don’t I know it.” He chuckled, wincing slightly as you continued to dab at his nose. “I was half expecting you to be the one to shove him off his seat.”
A smile attempted to tug at your lips, but you wouldn’t allow it to spread any further. So, Bucky had been aware of your existence the whole night, but he’d decided to spend it instead with a girl he’d only just met. Because maybe you did care about who he chose to put his time into, and maybe it hurt that it wasn’t you that he chose. But it shouldn’t matter, because you shouldn’t have liked him. You’d only be around for another two months before you were on a bus out of the city again; developing feelings for anyone was just a recipe for disaster.
You rested some fresh tissue against his nose, asking him to hold it while you applied the ice to the bruised area.
“Do those guys come here often?” You asked him. “Cause I don’t know if I can handle seeing Brock’s stupid face every Friday night.”
That coaxed a snort out of Bucky. “Even if they do come back, which they probably won’t, I’m sure you won’t have a problem showing ‘em the way out. You’ve got an attitude on you, baby. Dicks like them are scared of women who talk back.”
Yeah, he was right. Because if Brock did show his face again on the bar, you’d be avenging Bucky and knocking the asshat onto the floor yourself.
“You shouldn’t call me that, you know.”
“Call you what?” He cocked a brow.
“You know what.” You rolled your eyes, focusing on the ice pack on his nose rather than his eyes that were looking up at you. “I’m not sure your girlfriend out there would like that.”
A short silence overcame the two of you. Bucky crinkled his brows, lips pursing in question before widening into a small smirk. Not his usual smug one, however, but an endearing one - it was almost comforting to you. “The blonde? That wasn’t what it looked like.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes, really.” He paused as you tipped his jaw to the other side, fingers lightly brushing over his stubble as you pressed the ice back onto his nose. “I didn’t even get her name. She was really drunk when she came stumblin’ over to the couch where I was, and there were creeps sitting on a table near us eyeing her up. I didn’t wanna leave her in case they tried somethin ‘ on with her, so I pretended that I knew her until those guys finished their drinks and left. When I saw Rumlow givin’ you a hard time, I told Sam to call her and her friend a cab, who I’m sure was also drunk as hell and had gone out the back to throw up.”
Bucky Barnes has never made you speechless before. When he came out with smart comments, they never took you by surprise, because all he did was make smart comments, either flirtatious ones towards you or narcissistic ones about himself. But this? This was something pleasantly surprising. Not that you thought he was a complete asshole who wouldn’t help a drunk girl out if she needed it, but he stayed with her all night, only leaving her to help another girl being hassled by a guy (again, not that you needed the help).
“Wow, Bucky. That was... really nice of you.” You said fondly.
“See? I can be nice.” He grinned, not able to stop himself from making a teasing remark.
“Surprisingly, yes, you can.” You bit back a smile, finally allowing your eyes to meet his. “And... I appreciate it, you standing up to Brock like that. I mean, you could’ve at least let me toss his beer in his face first...”
The biker chuckled, something glazing his eyes that you hadn’t noticed before (despite it happening a lot around you) - adoration. A fondness he usually got when he took his bike down the freeway at sunset, when he was able to see the blood-orange sphere in the warm sky slowly heading in to rest for the night. A softness that he got when he attended Becca’s high school graduation, witnessing the very moment that his baby sister wasn’t such a baby anymore. For some reason, after that comment in that moment, Bucky felt a warmth in his chest that he thought he’d never feel.
Your hand was resting in his jaw gently, innocently. Yet it made the man feel a hundred different things at once. It’d only been two weeks; he didn’t even know you, really. He knew that you were confident, not afraid of speaking your mind. That you were free-spirited, a traveler. But he didn’t know you. He didn’t know what your childhood was like, what your family was like. What movies made you cry, what your biggest fears were and what you wanted to achieve in life. Bucky found himself wanting to know it all and more; you just had that effect on him.
“Maybe, but what if he’d decided to deck you in the face instead?”
“Hm, nothing I haven’t experienced before.” Bucky raised a brow, but you only smirked. “That’s a story for another time.”
If that insinuated that he and you would have more time alone together, then Bucky was fine waiting for that story to come to light. “I’ll look forward to hearin’ it, baby.”
You found yourself dazed for a few moments, absentmindedly trailing your fingers up Bucky’s jaw to his forehead, pushing a few brown strands back that had fallen over his eyes after the incident with Brock. They then traced over his cheekbone, lingering for a moment as you met his gaze again, his eyes looking brighter and bluer than you’d ever seen them. There was still a little bit of blood just under his nose, which itself was bruising over. But he was still pretty, still handsome, and his charming grin remained on his pink lips even with the pain in his nose.
“Bucky?” You spoke up suddenly, your next words possibly being ones you’d regret once the summer was over and at an end.
“Yeah?”
...
“I like it when you call me baby.”
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retvenkos · 3 years ago
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anyways i guess i'm a portwell stan now (enemies to lovers/best friends brother/make each other better trope & troy and gabriella parallels my beloved)
and i'm also exasperated at the writers at ricky's path this season. and the writers in general.
i just. want miss jenn and mr mazzara to get together this season and ej and gina to be happy, if that's too much to ask for.
AND WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE SO MANY LOVE TRIANGLES????
nobody wants it, they're not needed- all this season has been about romance, with a few crumbs of musical theatre, and it's not what i signed up for! i want more friendship moments between kourtney and seb, and i want more of the dorky improv games.
let the kids be kids.
the north high rivalry is getting unrealistically annoying. if anything, the theatre community is supportive of each other (i'm in a performing arts school, i should know lmbo)
ricky's parents' divorce plot was completely thrown out the window.
nobody wanted the redlyn angst.
why is carlos being kinda mean?
this whole has season has been a mess, and the only people carrying the show on their backs now is ej, gina, mr. mazzara and howie's rendition of "if i can't love her".
i'm so sorry for vomiting this all over you, i just felt this show is going downhill- kinda like glee.
dfghjdsfghjhgfdsdfghjhgfd,,, i haven't watched glee but i know enough about it to know that was a sick burn, cass. i love it.
and omg,,,,, do i have thoughts™. let's unpack them, shall we?
i agree that this season has been..... a lot™. it’s just a cluster of half-baked plot points that are strung together really losely. i feel like they should have scaled back on some of their ambitions.
namely, the north high rivalry is really bland and unnecessary. the only good things to come out of it is howie, the song around you, and the stunning location (i mean, art deco ogden high? count me in). you could take out the menkies entirely and so little would change to the overall story. i’d argue the story could have been even better without it because.... big shock..... we could focus on the characters.
because, truly, they’re trying to tackle too many things at once. whatever angst is happening with carlos and seb is the worst developed plot point we’ve had to suffer through. carlos says “does chip have any big scenes?” and it’s the catalyst for a fight? then we have them split for spring break and it’s just snippets of them fighting? literally, there’s zero reason for seb and carlos to fight - their dynamic is cute but it’s background chatter when you have whatever the hell is happening with ricky, nini, ej, and gina front and center. there was no reason to make then fight and it doesn’t add to their development, it isn’t well executed, and it isn’t particularly interesting. just let them be happy?
and i feel like that’s such a running theme for all of the side relationships? like you said - redlyn didn’t really need angst? i feel like the whole “career day” arc was well done and was compelling (but maybe that’s just because i had a friend who went through the same thing as red, so i’m sympathetic to it), but whatever went on with antoine and ashlyn was just.... really unnecessary? it didn’t add anything? maybe they’ll be revisiting the plot point, but as it stands right now, it was just really random to add in, and perhaps if i were more invested with north high, i would appreciate it more. but they’re.... so inconsequential.
and now we get to talk about one of my biggest gripes,,,,,,, ricky’s parents’ divorce. listen, i thought it was well developed in season one. it had importance. it affected ricky. it affected the plot. it raised the stakes. now it’s just underdeveloped. we’ve barely seen ricky’s homelife, given the sheer amount of plot points the show is juggling, and since ricky has mainly had negative scenes through the totality of the season, viewers aren’t really interested in seeing how the crumbs of his tumultuous homelife are affecting his behavior (which is kind of important, seeing as it accounts for the degradation of his character). 
ricky is going through a lot this season, and i feel like the main reason why people are so upset with him is because the writers leaned into his sad boi™ status. maybe it’s because the screentime is so divided and the stakes are higher, or because the writers really just got rid of all of ricky’s personality, but ricky has had two personality traits this season - sad clingy boi and bitter, passive aggressive boi. 
now, these personality appeared in season one - quite a lot, actually - but because it was framed  between light hearted moments and exploration of his conflicts, it was palatable and understandable. viewers understood why ricky was so desperately clinging onto the past and resisted change so much. we saw the tempest he was in! we had moments where friends like big red or even gina mentioned it. his reactions had merit because the viewer saw the buildup! 
this season, we have not had that. we see ricky’s dad trying to do his best with moving out, and with trying to move on, and we see ricky’s mom trying to do the same, and this is all strong for them, but when ricky can’t move on, and we see less of the struggle that ricky feels, we become disenchanted. ricky has stagnated, and we see everyone else moving on, and we do not focus on hat influences ricky to stop dead in his tracks. 
what’s worse is that the writers have ricky blow up so much more than last season, when we see less reasoning, and when he mentions how his parent’s divorce is a main reason for his angst, we really have no basis for that - except for what we saw in season 1. season 1 isn’t enough anymore, though, because ricky’s dad has moved on! so has ricky’s mom! 
i’m just scREAMING because ricky’s story is important and it was done well in season 1 and now the writers are losing ricky in the crossfire and pulling out the most degraded, negative traits of his character and running with them.
where is the ricky bowen i love and miss????
and lol, i’ve spoken so much about north high already, but i agree 10000% that it’s just getting out of hand. it’s just so not realistic. the rivalries aren’t like this,,,, someone please make it stop. they north high kids are also just so underdeveloped? the only exception is howie, and we didn’t even know he was a north high kid for half of the show,,,,,, (which, imo, should have been built up much better. kourtney said they never hung out with his friends, but we should have seen that so the mystery was more fulfilling. we should have also gotten hints he was in theatre - maybe kourtney hears him sing beauty and the beast, and she thinks it’s vvv cute, and she asks him he didn’t try out, and howie has to do some mental gymnastics to come up with a decent lie.) 
there’s so much poor or just underdeveloped writing in this season,,,, i’m crying.
even gina (my beloved) is the subject of poor writing because literally what happened between her and ricky? she was so emotionally involved she was about to leave, and then she suddenly decides to stay? and she suddenly just ignores ricky? girl worked through all of that off camera and while it’s not bad per se, it’s just lazy. they just underdeveloped that entire story.
the only one who has really shined this season is ej, and that’s just... really out of left field, but i’m not complaining.
and, i mean, i could talk about my earlier gripes with nini, but i see that they’re making narrative sense, now that the show has progressed a little further. i just wish she had stayed at yac longer, or we had seen more of her, there, so that when she says “she liked who she was [at yac],” we would have more basis for that. and i kinda wish we saw more of her sans boy drama, but i’m sure that’s coming.
and the love triangles,,,,, don’t get me started. rina didn’t have to be angsty or happen at all,,,, they could have just been friends and it would have had the same effect. don’t believe me? they’re friends and they lean on each other, but then nini comes into the picture and ricky just wants to be with nini all the time. he starts to really blow gina off and gina wonders if they were ever friends at all, or if she was just a cardboard cut out that ricky projected nini onto. the angst happens, gina realizes she has friends with carlos, she has that moment with ashlyn that gets fixed, then gina gets close to ej,,,,, literally no difference.
and lol, mr. mazzara. i think he and miss jenn are vvv cute together - definitely my favorite out of the miss jenn romances. i love a good slow burn, so i’m willing to wait for an eternity to have it. i just think they’re neat.
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ziracona · 4 years ago
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reading the chimeric horde cosmetics descriptions, i can’t help but imagine talbot wrote julie off as ‘incapable of communication’ , when in reality she was just super pissed (and in pain. and disoriented.) and Didnt Really Feel Like Answering. do u have any headcannons on how they function (or at least try to handle being That)
Sorry I’m answering this so late. There’s not a proper term for how much last week handed me not my ass but my biological system as a whole. 
This is a super interesting question though! 
I think it’s possible Julie, Joey, and/or Susie can still talk, although god knows how their biological body is comprised now and where vocal chords ended up--or even if Frank, who got least mutated, still has his. It’s interesting, initially when I saw this skin, it made me think I was wrong about my interpretation of Legion (which is that all four share a ‘body’, kind of. As in they have one form, but like a shape shifter can swap between any of their four. Although their consciousness goes with their own body--kind of like the initial release picture for Darkness Among Us implies, with the reflections? With all of them being present as individuals with autonomy /internally/, and able to communicate with each other even when they don’t have the body, but like, only one at a time being able to actually visibly exist and speak in a way someone in the room with them could hear), but looking at it again now, it actually reinforces it in my heart. Because of the way they’re melded together. It’s like a scientific conservation of mass law thing--their body is roughly the size it has always been as Frank. Whereas, if, say, four autonomous bodies were meshed together, you’d get a big flesh pile much larger. There’s just no other way, without actively destroying matter, for that combination to go, speaking to laws of basic physics. So how they look makes a lot more sense for them being basically forced to lose control of how they transform/being able to do it, and into a distorted form that is agonizing where parts of them all exist at once, but only one has control, and they can no longer shift. That actually makes the description of Joey trying to cut himself free make sense more to me too, and him losing control to Frank’s arm. Totally canon might go the other way, but I like that, and it’s what makes sense to me!
For my personal headcanons, I do have them! I think Frank can talk normally, although he’s in immense pain, so like, with that added difficulty, but his throat is fine. I think the other three can make sounds, but would struggle to form actual words. Probably could if they tried really hard, especially Julie, but it would probably be a really pitiful and broken, “..P..lea..se. ..H...el..p” or whimpering sounds or, “No,” “..S..top,” or “Frank,” that kind of stuff. I think All of them including Frank hate it and are in misery. Frank definitely ended up the dominant/in control of the four, but I don’t think he did it in a ‘fuck you I’m not losing’ way to the other four at all. The Legion care about each other, whatever their many other faults, and I’ve always HC’d Frank feels responsible for his group even when they’re pissing him off, and would not try to do anything to hurt them/works to protect them.
I think what Talbot did to them fucked them up and their powers up horrifically, and that they can still talk mentally to each other okay, but that they can’t at first. That a lot of wires got crossed and damage taken, and for a while, Frank just can’t hear them at all no matter how much he pleads or looks for them or tries to listen, and he’s terrified it’s always going to be that way. And then after a few days, Julie struggles her way into connecting to him mentally again and he’s so relieved he breaks down. Joey and Susie figure it out after a little too, Susie last, and pitifully brokenly. I think they all have intense PTSD from this and are both terrified and broken, and furious with Talbot and want to kill him, and before that, to force him to fix them. They cope with being in agony and their trauma by formulating a plan and promising each other they’ll find a way to undo this. Probably they call to the Entity for help too, but I don’t think it helps them. I HC that after making him a killer, the Entity sends other killers to Talbot for punishment sometimes, and that’s probably what happens to Legion. They have the belief it won’t leave them like this forever as a kind of light at the end of the tunnel, but they’re not planning on waiting either.
All of them are in incredible pain constantly, and miserable. Frank tries to keep them calm by convincing them of ways they can make Talbot fix them. It’s kind of the only thing getting them to be able to cope. They can’t stand to look at themselves, so after looking in a mirror once to try to understand the damage, Frank completely avoids looking at any reflective surface, and if he ever does on accident, it fucks him up. I mean, pain aside, the level of horrific bodyhorror all four of them have undergone is enough to put a crack in anyone’s brain, to say the least. I think Frank works really hard to support and comfort the other three constantly outside trials, since while he’s not remotely in a good place, he’s in a better one than they are, and feels responsible. The other three need and depend on that. Joey copes by completely believing Frank’s promises and trying to help, Susie tries to just shut down and go to sleep as much as she can and not be there, and Julie copes by dissociating as much as humanly possible from what happens. Frank I guess copes with the mom-friend/fuck we’re in a crisis I literally can’t fail override. But he’s not doing very well at all. 
When they’re in trials, Frank tries to play their appearance off as scary and threatening, and seem not remotely worried. This mostly works, because you know, the survivors are a bunch of traumatized and abused murder on repeat victims. But one time in a trial he’s chasing someone and knocks into them to throw them on the ground, and their medkit flies open, and he’s suddenly looking down on a reflective surface, seeing himself, grafted faces of his friends in agony trapped inside him on his chest, Julie’s hair hanging by his neck, his own eyes and mouth pouring orange puss. And he knows he has no idea how to fix it or if he ever will and just has something inside him snap and falls to his knees totally out of it for a second, finally overwhelmed by too much he’s been trying to carry alone. And it’s been long enough that Jeff’s figured out who the four of them are, and tried and failed to reach out to them before, but he sees that. Maybe he’s the person on the ground, maybe he’s coming to help them. But he sees it and instead of being smart and jumping Frank in the moment of opportunity, because he’s Jeff he tries to talk to him. And because he’s finally so broken he can’t take it and it’s the only person in the entirety of what he has left of a world that Frank trusts even the tiniest bit, he doesn’t stab him. He just breaks down.
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quentyl · 5 years ago
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“You can’t treat me like Zuko!” - Azula, Sozin's Comet Part 1: The Phoenix King
This quote is so important for her character: it tells us that she suffered from her father’s abuse of her brother too, though indirectly. That every time Ozai hurt his son, he was demonstrating what could happen to her should she ever fall from grace, that this became a deep-entrenched fear in the back of her mind.
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(Pic: Azula and kid!Zuko, both upset and confused, asking for answers from their father, who has his back turned toward them.)
I want to delve into it a little bit: what it means, for Azula, to be treated like Zuko. Long post under the cut, as usual!
Here’s the full exchange:
Azula: Sorry I’m late, Father. Good palanquin bearers are so hard to come by these days. So, is everything ready for our departure? Ozai: There has been a change of plans, Azula. Azula: What? Ozai: I've decided to lead the fleet of airships to Ba Sing Se alone. You will remain here in the Fire Nation. Azula: But… I thought we were going to do this together. Ozai: My decision is final. Azula: You... you can't treat me like this. You can't treat me like Zuko! Ozai: Azula, silence yourself. Azula: But it was my idea to burn everything to the ground! I deserve to be by your side! Ozai: Azula! Listen to me. I need you here to watch over the homeland. It's a very important job that I can only entrust to you. Azula: Really? Ozai: And for your loyalty, I've decided to declare you the new Fire Lord. Azula: Fire Lord Azula? It does seem appropriate. But... what about you? Ozai: Fire Lord Ozai is no more. Just as the world will be reborn in fire, I shall be reborn as the supreme ruler of the world. From this moment on, I will be known as... the Phoenix King!
So what’s interesting to me here is that Ozai isn’t actually treating her like he would Zuko under the same circumstances (not according to what we’ve seen of their previous interactions?). For one thing, it’s clear she wasn’t punished for lying to him about who killed the Avatar, nor for keeping her suspicions that Aang wasn’t truly dead to herself. Azula’s tone is light upon first catching up to him and she attempts to make casual conversation. Sure, she’s actually nervous underneath, but that’s because she can see things aren’t going according to plan and she doesn’t know why - she doesn’t know she’s supposed to be in trouble. He’s not ignoring her either, like he simply ignored kid!Zuko asking about his mother in the parallel scene in the above screenshot. She’s also not punished for her outburst, for raising her voice to him at a formal and public event, even after he ordered her to “silence herself” (how’s that for speaking out of turn? No Agni Kai, Ozai?). Instead Ozai is... surprisingly gentle? He placates her, reassures her of her importance and of his trust in her. And then he rewards her with the title of Fire Lord.
When we think of the way Ozai treated Zuko, we think of a history of open disdain, emotional and verbal abuse that culminated with setting his son’s face on fire. He’s doing none of these things to Azula here. So what it is exactly in this scene that Azula assimilated with the way he would behave toward her older brother?
Here’s my understanding: for Azula “being treated like Zuko” doesn’t start with disappointed looks, insults or scornful comments. It doesn’t need to go that far. Instead it starts with exclusion. And that’s a dimension of Ozai’s abuse and their family dynamic that I feel isn’t explored enough, despite being just as harmful.
Let’s go back to the flashbacks in “Zuko Alone”. Even without seeing them interact alone, we get the sense that there is an odd complicity between Ozai and his eight or nine-years-old daughter:
She shows him her new firebending moves - and what makes this significant isn’t that a father would keep tabs on his daughter’s progress, it’s that her mother and brother weren’t apparently in on it. Ozai speaks of the moves she showed to him not them (her parents), and Zuko’s amazement at Azula’s forms implies he hadn’t seen them before. So it’s time that Ozai and Azula spent alone together.
She supports his ambitions: “If Uncle doesn’t make it back from war, then Dad will be next in line to become Fire Lord, wouldn’t he?” and “I still think our dad would make a much better Fire Lord than his royal tea-loving kookiness”. More than that, she seems aware of his plots (might even have a hand to play in them, but that’s not confirmed either way): “‘Fire Lord Azulon’... Can’t you just call him Grandfather? He’s not exactly the powerful Fire Lord he used to be. Someone will probably end up taking his place soon.” - Azula obviously knew that her father had plans to get rid of her grandfather. Here again, what I want to focus on is the fact that Zuko and her mother were completely unaware about all of it (“What is wrong with that child?”).
Ozai calls her “my dear” and asks her specifically to demonstrate before the Fire Lord. He doesn’t address Zuko once throughout the flashbacks.
So even as a child, Azula was allowed into her father’s confidence. He trusted her, while her brother was left in the dark. And I think this was likely the biggest difference in how Ozai treated his children before he became Fire Lord. In these flashbacks, Zuko didn’t seem scared of his father yet. He wasn’t afraid to perform before him, to cry and lament his failures before him, or to be comforted by Ursa before him. He didn’t seem overly worried to have embarrassed him in front of Azulon himself. He wasn’t afraid to demand answers of him after Ursa’s disappearance. So I tend to think that whatever abuse he was subjected to at this point, before Ursa’s banishment, was limited. What is clear is that Ozai and Azula shared a special relationship that Zuko wasn’t a part of.
Of course, this puts Azula in a privileged position compared to her brother. Their father is the one with all the power in their family, the one they are both constantly trying to please, but only Azula is allowed to know his mind. Note that throughout the different scenes in the flashbacks, there’s a pattern of Azula using information Zuko doesn’t have to mess with him: “Uncle is coming home” “Dad’s going to kill you” “No one knows where Mom is” “Grandpa passed away”. She’s the bearer of news, and as such always ahead of him. Knowledge is power, and knowledge is something Ozai constantly denied his son. 
This disconnect between Zuko and his father reached its climax, imo, when Ozai challenged him to an Agni Kai and Zuko… misunderstood (more likely, he was deliberately misled). Zuko just never understood his father, because his father never spoke to him. Zuko was never allowed to know his thoughts - and for three years afterward, he wasn’t even allowed to see his face. He wasn’t allowed to know who his father was, unlike Azula, who was privy to his ambitions since they were children. This is why she can successfully manipulate him using the promise of their father’s love (in both the first and last episode of Book 2).
All of this is still true when Zuko comes back from his exile. Ozai doesn’t welcome both his children at the same time. Instead he sees Azula first. She reports to him, and only afterward (after they had the time to talk about him and make decisions behind his back) does he finally see Zuko.
He welcomes him back with honors as the crown prince, but Zuko still isn’t truly allowed to know what’s going on. He’s sent on a forced vacation to Ember Island while Ozai meets with his generals. He’s not invited to war meetings, until suddenly he is and people just… forgot to inform him. He has no important part to play during the counter-invasion plan. In short, Zuko is still excluded. Azula uses him as a shield one moment, says she’s looking out for him the next. His father calls him a hero, but doesn’t try to get to know him or spend any meaningful time with him (not even to try and make up for... everything). I don’t believe either of them truly intended for Zuko to ever succeed Ozai. So the whole time he’s in the Fire Nation, back in his “rightful place”, Zuko is fidgety because he can’t trust them. He doesn’t know if he’s being paranoid or too naive. He doesn’t know if they’re honest or just playing with him.
(Truth is Zuko was emotionally banished long before he was legally banished, and him killing the Avatar couldn’t change that.)
And this is what Ozai did to Azula in their final scene together before abandoning her. When her father’s palanquin left early, it was her turn to be fidgety and paranoid, wondering what’s going on. Ozai blindsided her, left her in the dark, excluded her without telling her why. When she was a kid, her father talked to her about his plans to become Fire Lord. Now not only did he not tell her about his plans to become Phoenix King, he didn’t even talk to her about her own promotion. She was no longer his confidant, but just another pawn, like Zuko.
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jaxsteamblog · 4 years ago
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This is where I pick apart the plot and say baseless things
I don’t like figuring out things out, which is why my series is so clunky and takes forever to update, and also why I LOVE crackpot and unsubstantiated theories.
(Not conspiracy theories)
This is specifically about crackpot theories that I applied to one of my fics, so PLEASE feel free to disregard.
I was 21 when I finally saw AtLA and had zero interest in shipping. I just really, REALLY liked the show and talking about it. It was because I started hanging out with another fan and we complained about the plot holes (and the fact that she’s a Zutara shipper from her youth) that I ended up following a very, shall we say, intentional pathway. 
One of the things I didn’t understand about the story, is how we had a character like Iroh. He arguably went through an off screen redemption arc that obliterates Zuko’s. People mock him repeatedly for his in show status compared to how he was as the “Dragon of the West.” The man pushed his soldiers into a 600 DAY SIEGE. He was the crown prince, and we (now) have canon proof of him looking exactly as he should. 
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There are a few exceptions to his character, and we can feasibly understand that these points were what the White Lotus used to get him to jump sides.
One is his fondness for his family:
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Two is his respect for the spirits.
I want to take a quick detour on something I call: Zuko Is Iroh On Speed Run
IDK if the writers ever had this in mind, but Zuko repeatedly repeats (heh) aspects of Iroh’s off screen life.
First: The Case of the Missing Mom
Azulon looks p cute in Legacy of the Fire Nation right?
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I bet he had the ladies at the Academy *ahem*
I don’t think he had any problem getting married, and I bet it was a FANTASTIC match. And by that I mean, he probably got a lot out of it and his wife found out quick that there was nothing good looking INSIDE the man.
She kicks the bucket at some point, and I think this affects Iroh as it pertains to how he views his family.
(I have a separate theory that Azulon had two wives, and that he actually loved Iroh’s mother while Ozai’s mother was a necessity.)
Zuko’s mom disappears and Zuko is profoundly affected by how her absence alters his life. He can no longer trust ANYONE at that moment. (Iroh is not there, his grandfather was okay with him being killed and is now dead, his sister straight up taunted him about his impending execution, and his father was going to go through with it.) It causes him to build walls OH MY GOD IF THE CANON TIMELINE TAKES ~600 DAYS THEN IROH HAD TO DO ANOTHER SIEGE AND SUCCEEDED.
ANYWAY.
Let’s look at the new canon Lu Ten btw:
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For a franchise that really likes to whitewash its characters, Lu Ten is looking a little........
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....colonial?
I think Iroh fell in love with someone NOT from the main islands of the Fire Nation and Azulon did NOT like that. I think from Lu Ten’s letter, there was some tension at the palace that ramped up the expectations. 
Ursa was forcibly married to Ozai, and we see that Azulon wants to use whatever leverage he can in order to win the war. 
And we get to another Iroh/Zuko dichotomy.
I believe that Iroh buried himself in Spirit lore as a way to ensure a Fire Nation victory. Did his wife introduce him to it? Who knows. But I do think there was some sort of Earth Kingdom connection because I have a strong suspicion that Zhao learned about Wan Shi Tong’s library because Iroh wanted General Shu to find it. 
Similarly, Zuko has disgraced himself in the eyes of HIS father, so he goes off in search of the Avatar to redeem himself. 
They both lose everything and make their choice to change because of these things.
There was a crackpot theory that Koh took Lu Ten’s face (which obviously can’t be now that we have the Legacy book) and that it was Iroh’s meddling that brought Koh over.
So maybe it wasn’t Koh, but what if it was another spirit?
In the show, we have Tui and La, Hei Bai, the Painted Lady, Wan Shi Tong, Fang, and I’m throwing in Yue just because. People calling Zuko “the Blue Spirit” implies that people still expect to see spirits from time to time. 
I think that a spirit DID kill Lu Ten, and that Iroh WAS the one to bring it over. 
We watched what happened with Zuko and Aang.
Now, I think the White Lotus was trying to get to Iroh before Lu Ten’s death. Iroh had seen the Sun Warriors and left them alone. I think Iroh was the one to convince Piandao to take Zuko as a student. I bet Iroh and Jeong Jeong had plenty of talks about the meaning of everything before Jeong Jeong deserted. Between the two of them, I think they convinced the White Lotus to go after the Fire Nation Crown Prince.
Iroh wouldn’t be swayed, though, until after Lu Ten died. He questioned everything; the war, his life, what he was actually fighting for.
On his way home, I think that’s when he heard Azulon had died and Ozai had taken over the throne. 
He had a massive army, clearly loyal for staying that long, why didn’t he take them all they way to the palace doors?
Because Iroh had made the choice to humble himself, seek forgiveness, and joined the White Lotus.
Very similar to what Zuko did. 
Canon Zuko closes the circle on Iroh’s life, ultimately appearing as a wise, beloved figure in LoK that is also missing a wife. 
How does this bring me back to Zutara?
I think the canon ending completely topples the comparison of Iroh and Zuko. Lu Ten was clearly the product of Iroh falling in love with a colonial woman, if not a full blown Earth Kingdom woman. Iroh was meant to be the Fire Lord. Iroh was supposed to be happy.
Zuko is meant to be happily married to his non Fire Nation wife and being Fire Lord, establishing a harmony that recognizes the equal parts of every element. 
Zuko is meant to realize all of Iroh’s hopes and dreams. 
Not clear? They are mirrored, so not a 1:1 and more of like a palindrome.
Iroh earns his fathers ire by falling in love with a colonial/Earth Kingdom woman
Zuko earns his fathers ire by speaking out about the loss of life in war
Iroh attempts to redeem himself by using spirits to conquer Ba Sing Se
Zuko attempts to redeem himself by capturing the Avatar and going home
Iroh succeeds in finding spirits but doesn’t take Ba Sing Se, heads home having changed
Zuko doesn’t succeed in capturing the Avatar but goes home, hasn’t yet changed
Iroh abandons his family to join the group he thinks is doing the right thing
Zuko abandons his family to join the group he thinks is doing the right thing
Iroh works to support the Avatar
Zuko reconnects to the spiritual side of Firebending and the elements to find peace
Iroh speaks out against the war
Zuko falls in love with a Water Tribe woman oh sorry, I mean a Fire Nation lady thus maintaining the status quo.
During the show, we see a lot of seeds Iroh plants in Zuko’s mind blossom later on. Zuko follows in his uncle’s footprints, not ever knowing that’s what he’s doing.
And Iroh didn’t marry someone from the Fire Nation, that’s clearly obvious.
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