#if the start of the show *had* been in their second year

[sunni-stuff]

P2

Reader who gets pregnant off of a one night stand with some soldier during armed forces day, showing your appreciation for his service a little too well.

You had a support system, friends who joked about you having way too much fun, hence your predicament, others already offering to buy things for the baby and your parents who couldn't be happier to meet their grandchild.

But what about the father?

Well, it's not exactly like you could track him down. Fuck, you didn't even know the man's name, only how he made you feel, his filthy words strumming in your ear, big hands tight around your waist, hips slamming away in a desperate chase.

Let's forget how you leg-locked him.

When your daughter was born, everything changed, and time slowed down. She was a quiet baby, barely crying or having any outbursts like a normal child would but outspoken in her own little way. That chunky thing came out of the womb with a glare. Brown eyes staring down anyone and everyone but you.

That's something she definitely got from her father. You vividly remember how his umber eyes watching you from across the bar. He was like an eagle waiting for the perfect moment to strike his prey. A perfect soldier.

So, you named your daughter Adira in memory of his strength. That's one thing he could have.

Adira loved to be by your side. Her chubby cheeks pressed into the nook of your neck, holding you close with strength of a thousand babies. Your clingy little thing was a koala, always by her mommy's side, never straying far no matter how curious she got. When she learned to walk, her favorite thing became to hug your leg, especially while in stores. She hated people, wearing a tiny scowl whenever customers passed by tucking herself closer to you.

Maybe it was a good thing her father wasn't around. Having to compete for her first words would've been a bloodbath.

You spent two years in bliss. The fact that you were a single mother an afterthought to raising what you considered a blessing.

With Adira's second Christmas coming up, you wanted to do something special. She loved trains and found them absolutely amusing, often mimicking the honk as she ran around your apartment. Thankfully, there was a train ride for kids around the park during this time of year.

Here, you stood in line, bundled up to the nines. Big poofy coat, warm gloves, and fuzzy boots. As the crowd moved, Adira clung close, arms wrapped around your leg, glowering at any passerby with an annoyed look on her rosy cheeks.

That one was new. Maybe something else she got from her father.

The two of you took steps in tow, keeping Adira close and comfortable as the train came into view. Her expression shifted, excitement palpable. "Twain!" She squealed, jumping up and down.

Before you could respond to Adira's childlike joy, a man bumped into you by accident, nearly stumbling over his own feet. He turns to look at you, blue eyes meeting yours, but you were too focused on the weird ass Mohawk on his head.

People wore still those?

"Sorry bout that lass." The man starts to apologize, a Scottish accent lacing his voice.

That breaks your stare, laughing awkwardly to mask your wandering gaze. "Oh no, it's fine. You should be careful. you might slip on ice."

He nods, giving you a kind smile. The Scottish man starts to leave, but the look your kid was giving him sent shivers down his spine.

Little Adira was giving him a fierce stare down from behind your leg before ultimately cutting her eyes at him as if he were merely a nuisance.

"Next in line! Mctavish!"

The man doesn't stay after that. You assume that it was him they were calling with the way he hurried off. Hope he doesn't fall, seemed like a nice guy.

Soap can't help but do a double take when be gets to the front. The little rascal was wearing his Lieutenants face, hawk eyeing anyone who dared got to close. It was like looking in a mirror.

He nudged Gaz, making a gesture to look back without making it obvious. "See the lass and her bairn in line?"

Gaz gives him a raised brow, looking back for a second before turning around. "There's a lot of kids with their mother's, Johnny."

Soap glances back, double checking to make sure you were still in line. “The lass with the wee one—she’s got the same wicked look as Lt. You cannae miss her.”

Gaz rolls his eyes but humors Soap by looking once more, his eyes scanning the crowd until they land on a little girl already mean-mugging him from a distance. He swiftly turns around, blinking in surprise, trying to comprehend what he saw. "Uh..."

Soap only nods in agreement. That was Ghost's face, on a kid no less. He wastes no time, elbowing Roach and getting him to look back as well, leaving the other Sergeant in the same shock as Gaz. "That is not a face a kid should have."

"Agreed." Gaz added, shuddering at the thought.

"Where's the cap?" Soap asks, the train ride no longer feeling like fun now that he’s discovered the jackpot.

"Market place with Lt. for cigs," Gaz knowingly remarked, remembering that Price had run out on their way here.

"Well, let's go show them a Christmas miracle," Soap shot up from his seat all too eagerly.

The sergeants just got their Christmas present.

[cheesybadgers]

I know this has been discussed a lot already, but I still cannot believe how easy it was in the end to establish so much character development in just a handful of scenes that the show actively had to go out of its way to avoid for years when it was on Fox.

And I can’t stop thinking about this moment:

This feels like such a pivotal realisation in Eddie’s mind, where he not only stops denying himself things he wants in the moment but he’s now open to the possibility of more in the future, even if it might not yet have fully clicked what that means for the relationship between him and Buck.

So many unspoken options are suddenly on the menu that simply weren’t available before and that door he thought was sealed? Buck makes the first move by ringing the bell, but Eddie is the one who lets him in with the full knowledge it’s Buck specifically he’s opening the door to and in the vulnerable state of being half-dressed. Then, of course, he accepts Buck’s beer after starting the day denying himself juice.

They may not be ready to talk/confess anything to each other, but to set up so much possibility and hope in a wordless facial expression after all this time is insane and I take my hat off to Ryan and the writers/director for conveying so much in just a couple of seconds now that they’ve finally been allowed the creative freedom to tell this story.

[birdyshewrote]

“Birthday Girl”

Wolverine x Female!Reader

written by birdy

Wade Wilson throws you a rink-a-dink birthday party every year, and this year is no exception. But this time, you have a new guest.. and he’s been watching you for a while.

Notes- hi. ive never written a fic before EVER, so pls be nice. this is mainly for me to be able to get my thoughts out of my head because I’ve been thinking about this man for way too long. happy birthday bitches 🫶

WARNINGS/TAGS: smut- 18+ Logan Howlett x Female!Reader, Logan calls reader “Kid”, light smoking and alcohol consumption, Wade being a menace

——————————————————————————

You had caught glances of him a few times in the hall. The scent of smoke, leather and alcohol that belonged to only him drifted in the air behind him for a few seconds even after he had walked into the apartment room across from yours. There had been a few times where you stepped into the elevator and musky cigar smoke had filled the small space. You didn’t complain though, secretly savoring the intoxicating smell, taking more, quicker breaths than you needed too. You couldn’t deny the knot it put in your stomach and the weakness it put in your legs before stepping out of the elevator, down the hall and into your own room.

Eventually, you were tired of the mystery. Two weeks into the seemingly one sided tension, you trapped your long time friend and even longer time across-the-hall neighbor, Wade Wilson, into the elevator with you. Ever since the stranger had moved in with Wade, he had stopped inviting you over. Your birthday was coming up, and so was your annual not-so-surprised birthday party. Once the elevator doors closed, you started,

“Hey, who’s your new roomie?”

Wade scoffed, putting a hand across his heart on his chest, the other gripping a full black trash bag that smelt of blood and for some reason bubblegum scented air fresheners. “THATS how I am greeted nowadays? No, ‘Hello Wade’, ‘Looking good Wade’, ‘Here’s that five bucks I owe you Wade,’

You roll your eyes, putting a hand on your hip stepping away from him. “Okay, first of all, I do not owe you five bucks. You OFFERED to pay for the funeral arrangements after you killed my fish-“

“He looked hungry, who knew fish could be over fed?” He interrupted.

“I told you before I left!” You argue back. “I was only gone two days and you-“ You rub your forehead and shake your head, frustrated. “Whatever. Not relevant. Hello Wade, you do look good.” You say, defeated.

Wade giggly adjusted his weight to his heels, to his tippy-toes, then back to his heels again “Thank you.” He said, satisfied, and turned back to the doors.

“You didn’t answer my question. Your roommate? Who is he?” You ask again as the elevator dings and the doors creakily open.

He raised an eyebrow, looking at you sideways as the two of you walked down the small lobby. “Uhm, news flash doll face, Blind Al is not new. She’s an OG. Been here a while, silly.”

“Not Al.” Talking to Wade was like trying to a horse with dementia. “You know, ‘Mr Tall and Handsome,’ always sulking, ‘I don’t care about no smoking rules.”

Wade throws his head back, “Ooohhhh, you mean Peanut. What about him?”

“No introduction?” You ask confused, watching Wade as he carried his trash down the hall, holding the entrance door open for you.

“Well, I don’t know. I guess Iuh… I forgot.” He stuttered as he led you down the wet alleyway, towards the dumpsters.

“Last month you called me into your room to show me your new toothbrush. You have a new roommate and you just, ‘forget’ to introduce us?”

Wade shrugs, shifting the thin, plastic bag straps in his hand uncomfortably as he walked.

The truth was, Wade did not forget. The truth was, in fact, that one of the first things Wade had done was mention your existence to Logan before he was even fully settled in the apartment.

“I think you two would hit it off, hardcore. And I mean, HARD.” Wade had said.

“Absolutely not.” Logan grumbled, immediately shutting him down, not even looking up from the blow-up mattress he was unrolling in the living room.

Wade sat on the couch arm rest, looking down at the burly man. “Come on Wolvie, let a girl heal your cold, withered heart. You’re a tough, ‘don’t get too close’ typa guy, she’s an ‘I can fix him’ type of girl, I personally think it’s a perfect match.”

“Shut the fuck up. I’m telling you to drop it.” He snapped, glaring up at Wade. “I don’t need you playing Cupid here, you hear me? I swear to God, if I hear you that you’ve even said my name to anyone I’ll get the fuck out of here and never look back. I don’t need to be getting mixed up in any of that shit right now.”

Maybe years ago Logan would have been a flirt, he wasn’t new to women or relationships, but he had been through too much. He had lost too much. He’d never admit it, but the truth was, the infamous Wolverine was scared. Scared of intimacy, scared of getting attached, scared of loss, scared of you. Still, this didn’t change the fact that he had been secretly watching you leave your apartment through the safety of the peephole of his own door. And yeah, maybe if you weren’t so loud coming out of your apartment he wouldn’t know your schedule within a week. Like what time you wake up to leave for work or school, or what time you come home. What days you take your trash out or do your laundry. And when he found one of your sweaters lying around the apartment when he first moved in, what should he have done with it? He was holding onto it for safe keeping. And yeah, he knew it was yours, but only because your sugary perfume clouded his nostrils and made his head feel fuzzy. It was so recognizable, he knew immediately the sweater was yours. Maybe if you wouldn’t drown yourself in the body mist he wouldn’t instinctively know when you were just in the hall, he told himself. It wasn’t his fault he had animalistic smelling.

He couldn’t, however, find an excuse for how he’d hesitate in front of his door, watching for the elevator to stop at your shared floor, wait for the doors to open and inhale the scent of your panties from down the hall once you saw him, then he’d unlock his door and rush in quickly. Sometimes if he was unlucky he’d steal a glance of your full body out of the corner of his eye.

None of this meant anything though. He could contain the animalistic urges he had towards you. Especially when he caught a glimpse of your thigh when you knelt to pick up a dropped grocery. He could handle himself when he heard your thick, sweet laugh through walls when watching a show or movie. But at the same time, what harm would it cause if he touched himself while inhaling the scent of your hair, sweat and perfume through your abandoned sweater late at night? And keeping it locked away in a locked dresser wasn’t creepy, it was just there until you asked Wade to look around for it.

He could handle himself from a distance. He knew this. He knew his limits.

He had been woken up from the couch after a long afternoon of drinking and despair by a loud “SURPRISE!” followed by laughter and clapping. He did not know there was a party going on, let alone a party for you. He was completely blindsided when you were standing within ten feet of him, in his living area, talking to Al and Wade and the others, laughing that sweet laugh

Shit..

Where could he escape? The front door was no longer an option, everyone was clustered in front. Maybe he could make a run for it through the bedroom and out the window? Or maybe take his chances down the escape ladder through the-

“Sleeping beauty has awaken!”

Shit.

Before you could blink, Wade was pulling you through the small cluster of friends to the couch, where a very confused, very hung over, very huge piece of man stood like a deer in headlights. This was your first time seeing him up close, and shit was he alluring. His hair was untamed and messy from his interrupted sleep, his thick brows furrowed. Frown lines prominent as his large muscles twitched under his shirt-

“Hey, his eyes are up there you horn dog.” Wade publicly snapped you back into reality. Immediately flustered, you began trying to save the situation that was doomed from the start.

“I wasn’t looking at- I wasn’t even doing anything, Wade!”

“It’s okay, I know you weren’t. He’s just a moron.” He put an understanding hand up as he spoke. Fuck his voice was so deep and low, almost a growl. It felt rich and threw shivers straight to the back of your throat and straight into the dark jeans you wore. You swallowed. Hard.

After an awkward greeting, Wade had basically pushed a drink into both of your hands and left you to fend for yourself. Logan took a seat on the couch, the worn furniture dipping under his weight. He was clearly uncomfortable. He kept his eyes low, rarely meeting yours. He threw his arm over the head of the couch, spreading his knees. He pulled out a cigar and gestured to it. You couldn’t tell if he was offering you one or asking if you’d mind if he smoked, you shook your head no to both. You politely sat next to him, pulling your legs under yourself next to him.

Unfortunately, this man was not the easiest to speak to.

“So, Logan. You’re new.” You fidget with the cup in your hands.

He lets out a low “Mhm” while taking a puff, then lets smoke pool out of his mouth and drizzle out of his nose, before speaking again. “Yeah. Don’t really know how I ended up here. Just, kind of did.”

You nod, looking around the room. 2016-2018 pop hits played on the pink Hello-Kitty speaker Wade had bought for himself, now sitting on the kitchen table next to the drinks. Various characters lounged around the apartment chatting and eating pizza and drinking.

“Seen you around, y’know.”

You turn to face him again.

“Oh?” You ask, sipping your drink.

He nods in return. “If you need help bringing groceries up to your room or somethin’, you can just let me know. Heard you drop a few things before.” His top lip twitches just the slightest in what you assume is his version of a smile. He puts the cigar back into his mouth and chews.

You furrow your brows at the sarcastic banter. “Oh yeah? Didn’t know I had a stalker.” You bite back, smiling while doing so.

“Not stalking you, kid. Just minding my own business and getting interrupted every two seconds by my noisy neighbor.”

After this, the two of you spoke more fluid. Relating in Wade’s schemes and circumstances became a common interest. You felt yourself becoming more and more comfortable with the man’s presence. After your second drink, your leg rested against the rough denim of his thick thigh. He said nothing about it, so you continued to speak to him. You were unaware of what he was thinking or feeling.

He was freaking the fuck out. Especially when you asked him to go outside with him to get some air. He agreed, and the two of you slipped out of your own party. The night was dark as you walked through the city-lit pathway to the side of the building. Logan watches you and takes another puff of his cigar as you stretch in the open air. You sigh, relieved to be out of the stuffy room.

You could feel his eyes on you. The heat and heaviness of his lingering eyesight, watching your every move as if you were his prey. It made you nervous. It made you intrigued. You wanted to be in his sight, and he wanted to keep watching you.

“You shouldn’t smoke so much, shit’s awful for you you know.” You say, leaning on the brick building next to the tall, muscular figure.

He gives you a slow, sharp smirk in return, his canines showing through resting on the cigar.

Your heart begins to thump and he looks deep into your eyes, like he sees through you.

You let out a shaky exhale as your smile fades and take a step closer to him. He takes the cigar out of his mouth and looks down at you, shaking his head.

“You don’t want this, kid.”

You pause, trying to read his face in the dim lighting. “I do, and I think you do too.” You speak low and soft, like if you’re too sudden with your movements he’ll get startled and dash away. You slowly raise a hand and rest it on his hard, warm chest. You feel it rise and lower, he’s heaving now.

You bring your face up, closer to his. He doesn’t move, so you whisper into his own lips, “Logan, it’s okay.”

The light encouragement is what he needed. He looks down at your parted lips, pushes the lit cigar into the brick wall next to you, putting it out and dropping it, before muttering back,

“Well, you are the birthday girl.”

He leans down to give you what you’ve been asking him for, and what he’s been yearning for. He kisses you, slow and respectful at first, stepping in front of you. He puts his large, rough hand in between your head and the jagged building, protecting you as he pushes you against the wall. You bring a soft hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down farther into your space. He tastes like alcohol and smoke, and you couldn’t get enough. The kiss gets sloppier as you welcome his tongue into your mouth. You look at his face through squinted eyes, only to see his brows furrowed in deep concentration and self-discipline as to not overstep. You shut your eyes again as you grab his other hand, dragging it to your waist. He lets out a soft, low groan in response to the contact of your skin. Your waist feels so soft and warm is his heavy grip. He softly paws at your side, then up your loose shirt. He pauses underneath your bra, and you arch your back in response.

He breaks away, a trail of saliva connecting the two of you momentarily before breaking. “This okay? You’re sure? I can touch you like this?” He’s almost pleading, even with all of the consent in your body. He looks down at you, eyes half lidded.

“Yes, Logan. Stop asking me.”

He nods, smiling slightly, and slowly shifts his long, thick fingers underneath the garment, and towards your chest. He brings his mouth to yours again, greedily taking and lapping at your mouth. The scent of your arousal intoxicates to him. You clench your legs together, to which Logan uses his thick, sturdy knee to break you open and apart. You feel exposed to him now, resting on his knee. The rough denim rubbing sends jolts to your throbbing core. The kissing is wet, his stubble rubs against your lips as he gently bites your tongue with his canines. His hand gently gropes your breast, while pushing his knee against your dampening soft area. He brings his calloused hand down back to your waist, slowly guiding your hips to rock against his knee. He uses his other hand against your head to gently grip your hair and push your head closer against his mouth.

Logan didn’t get you a birthday present, but he was definitely making up for it.

[marysfics]

Soft Touches - Revised Version

After the poll, I'll start uploading some of my old fics from my previous account, @hiitsm . This is one of them, with a few small updates added along the way.

Soft Smut, Alexia Putellas x Reader

You lay half atop your girlfriend’s body, her back pressed against the bed, looking so beautifully serene. Your clothes were abandoned on the cold floor of her bedroom. With gentle fingers, you traced patterns over her soft skin, lingering on the curves of her full breasts. You loved the way her body felt under your touch, and you let your fingers explore leisurely.

Both of you are recovering from the first round of lovemaking, especially her, as you had dedicated yourself to showing her how much you love her. You both know a second round is inevitable, but for now, you're content to take it slow, savoring each moment. You love the intimacy of moving slowly, of taking your time to enjoy each other fully.

You place lazy kisses on her soft, full breasts, eliciting a gentle sigh from Alexia. You glance up at her face and see an expression of pure serenity, her features free from any worry. You cherish this version of your girlfriend. While you love every aspect of her, this tranquil state is undoubtedly one of your favorites.

As you continue to kiss her tenderly, one of her hands weaves through your hair, her fingers gently scratching your scalp.

“Did you like it?” you ask, referring to the moments just before when you made love to her. Despite the love and reassurance Alexia provides, you sometimes still feel a little insecure. A past relationship had shattered your confidence, leaving deep scars. Alexia has been incredibly patient, helping you rebuild your self-esteem bit by bit.

''Te quiero, eres tan perfecto para mí,” she whispers quietly, another content sigh escaping her lips. You look up at her with a soft smile, leaning in to kiss her tenderly.

Yet, the lingering insecurity occasionally resurfaces. You want everything to be perfect for her because you believe she deserves nothing less. Her constant reassurance and unwavering support make you feel deeply grateful for her patience.

Alexia's eyes soften as she looks at you. "Sí, every moment with you is perfect para mi," she murmurs, her hand gently caressing your cheek. "You make me so happy." Her words and the sincerity in her gaze calm your anxieties, making you feel cherished and understood.

Your fingers trace the lines of her abs, admiring the definition earned from years of training. You love her abs, marveling at their perfection. A fleeting thought crosses your mind, wondering why you don’t have abs like hers. Your body is beautiful, but it’s not as toned as your girlfriend’s.

“I don’t have abs,” you say quietly, the insecurity slipping into your voice. Your right and setteling on your stomach. “Do you mind?” you whisper, feeling a pang of self-doubt. You mentally scold yourself, knowing you shouldn't feel insecure with Alexia. She loves you exactly as you are.

“You don’t need abs, bebita. I love your belly just the way it is,” she reassures you, her voice filled with genuine affection. She moves, gently shifting so that you're now on your back, and she’s hovering above you. Alexia places her large hand on top of yours, emphasizing her words with a loving touch.

You always loved it when she did this, her hand on your stomach, a gesture of comfort and acceptance. Her warmth and reassurance make you feel cherished, melting away any lingering doubts. Alexia's eyes meet yours, and she smiles softly. “Eres perfecta para mi,” she whispers, leaning in to kiss you tenderly, sealing her words with the sincerity of her love.

Her hand remains gently on your stomach as she leans in, her lips meeting yours in a tender kiss that swiftly deepens. The heat between you builds, Alexia’s touch grows more intense. Her fingers softly pressing into your skin, sending a shiver of goosebumps across your body.

The sensation kindles a warmth within you, stirring desires anew. Yet, this time feels different, you are fully present, lost in the moment with her, allowing yourself to savor every touch, every breath, completely immersed in the connection you share.

Her words are a soft murmur, a breathy declaration that fills the space between your nearly touching lips. "I love you, every single part of you, your beautiful body. I will cherish you for as long as I can," she whispers, her eyes reflecting the profound love you share. You respond by pulling her closer for another kiss, deep and impassioned.

Alexia's hands roam freely, her touch gentle yet filled with intent. She caresses your breasts, her soft massaging sending waves of pleasure through you, eliciting a moan that blends seamlessly into the kiss. Breaking away slightly, she promises, "I'll make sure you feel how much I adore you and your body." She seals her vow with a tender peck on your lips before trailing kisses down your neck to your breasts. There, she playfully nips, leaving faint marks as tender souvenirs of affection.

Her journey continues with kisses scattered across your stomach, each one a soft testament to her adoration. Arriving at your core, she pauses to shower affection on the insides of your thighs, paying special attention to the right one, marked by a scar—a silent acknowledgment of your shared histories and vulnerabilities. Each kiss is a celebration, a recognition of all that you are, and a reaffirmation of her unwavering love.

Alexia's attentions return to your core, her touch deliberate and tender as she begins with soft, slow licks, mindful of your sensitivity. She gradually introduces her finger, gauging your response as you moan softly, your back arching in pleasure. "I love how responsive you are, mi vida," she murmurs, her voice low and filled with affection.

She gently circles your clit with her tongue while moving her finger inside you at a soft, steady pace. Small puffs of air and gentle moans escape your lips, and Alexia smiles through her tender licks. You're incredibly sensitive, more so than ever before. If you let it, you could come from just the touch of Alexia's tongue, but you hold back, not wanting this moment to end too quickly. You know Alexia has so much more in store for you, and you want to savor every second.

When a second finger slips inside you, you can't help but rock your hips into her touch. The blend of your girlfriend’s tongue and fingers is driving you wild. "You feel so good," you whisper, gently gripping Alexia's hair. She chuckles softly, the vibrations from her laugh sending shivers through your sensitive clit, pushing you closer to the edge. You let out a loud moan, trying to hold back as a new and intense sensation builds within you. You try not to think about it.

With every new lick and thrust, you feel yourself getting wetter. Your brain turns to mush, and your grip on Alexia's hair tightens. She knows exactly what’s happening and slowly pulls back, straddling your hips as she slips her two fingers into her mouth, cleaning them softly. "I love your taste, amor," she murmurs, finishing with a satisfied smile. She leans in to kiss your tender breasts, eliciting a soft moan from you as her lips travel across your body once more.

"Amo mucho tu cuerpo," she says, her eyes filled with hunger. "I love you so much, mi vida," she adds, gazing into your eyes. A soft smile spreads across both your faces as you bask in the intimate moment, feeling the depth of your connection.

Your girlfriend plants a tender kiss on your lips before gracefully slipping off the bed to fetch something from the drawer. You're fully aware of her intentions, and the anticipation sends a thrilling pulse through you, heightening your arousal. Casually, you begin to caress your breasts, knowing full well the desire it stirs in Alexia.

As she straps on her favorite toy, her gaze locks onto you with an exhilarated grin. There you lie, sprawled and bare, legs invitingly open, gently massaging your breasts, lost in the wave of sensations. With her eyes shimmering with adoration and awe, Alexia is overwhelmed by the view before her, feeling profoundly fortunate to call you her girlfriend. The sight of you, so open and uninhibited, deepens her love and desire, drawing her irresistibly back to the bed.

Your eyes flicker open at the sound of the bottle cap being unscrewed, and a mischievous grin spreads across your face. "Do you really think we need that, bebita?" you tease playfully, your voice laced with anticipation. However, before you can protest further, Alexia interrupts with a gentle reminder of caution. "We shouldn't take risks. I don't want to hurt you," she says, her tone soft and caring.

As you watch her meticulously lube up the toy, a surge of affection washes over you. Alexia's thoughtfulness and consideration never cease to amaze you. Even in moments where it might seem unnecessary, she prioritizes your comfort and well-being above all else, ensuring that every experience with her is filled with tenderness and care.

As she lays back on the bed, you understand her desire. Though you've been hesitant about this position in the past due to its vulnerability, Alexia's reassurance today fills you with confidence. "Are you ready, mi vida?" she asks softly, her eyes filled with warmth and affection. With a nod of your head, you straddle her hips, feeling her hand intertwine with yours for support.

Alexia lines up the strap with your core, and as you sink onto the toy, a chorus of moans fills the room. You pause at the end of the toy, taking a moment to adjust to its size. With both of Alexia's hands gently holding your hips, you lock eyes with her, finding nothing but love and adoration reflected back at you.

"Just start slowly," she reassures you, her voice soft and encouraging. Taking a deep breath, you begin to move, your body rising and falling in a rhythm that feels natural and intimate. With each thrust, you feel a sense of connection and trust deepen between you and Alexia, making this moment one of pure love and passion.

Unlike your girlfriend, you're not a professional athlete, so you find yourself out of breath sooner than you'd like, and your legs begin to shake before long. But despite the physical strain, you're determined to push through for her sake. It's not that you don't enjoy it—because you really do—it's just that it requires a lot of effort, and sometimes your mind gets the best of you.

Alexia notices your body tensing up a bit, and she sits up, her abs flexing, a sight that doesn't go unnoticed by you. She leans in to kiss your breasts softly. "You're doing absolutely amazing, bebita. I adore watching you like this," she says softly between kisses. Your mind turns to mush once again, and for a moment, you're completely lost in the sensation. Sensing your need, Alexia lays her head on your breasts and pulls you into a tight hug.

Your head rests on her shoulder, giving you a perfect view of her back adorned with tattoos. You trace a finger over the intricate designs around her neck and then plant a soft kiss on her neck before resuming your movements back and forth.

In this new position, the closeness between you was palpable, each trust sending vibrations of pleasure through both of you. Alexia held onto you tighter, feeling the strain in her abs but relishing in the sensation.

You were making her feel so good once again, and she couldn't help but be drawn closer to the edge herself. She hadn't expected to reach that pinnacle again so soon, intending this to be all about you. But as you moved together, she felt herself teetering on the brink once more, drawn in by the sounds of your breath hitching and the sweet moans escaping your lips.

"¿Puedes ir un poco más rápido, amor?" Alexia's voice is laced with urgency, her desire evident as she yearns for a faster pace. She knows this rhythm won't send you both over the edge, but she can't hold back any longer, not with you straddling her and riding her toy in this intoxicating new position.

"I'll try," your words catch in your throat as you shift slightly, positioning yourself backwards to thrust into her more fully and faster.

Alexia's hand tightens around one of your breasts, her grip firm, her other hand steadying herself to prevent from falling backward. Her touch sends shivers down your spine, bringing you closer to the brink. But something feels different for you, the sensation unfamiliar and intense, igniting a spark of anxiety within you.

"Ale, something feels different," you manage to pant out, your heart racing with anticipation and a hint of fear. Despite your unease, your body refuses to stop, craving the pleasure that threatens to consume you.

Alexia's eyes widen in realization, knowing exactly what's about to happen. It's a moment you've never experienced together, but now, it's on the brink of unfolding, and she can't help but feel a surge of excitement at the prospect.

"It's okay, mi vida, just let it come. You're here with me, safe. We're here together. It's okay," Alexia's reassurance washes over you, soothing your anxieties with her words. Despite the intensity of the moment, her presence grounds you, offering a sense of security that allows you to surrender to the sensations coursing through your body.

As she leans in for a sloppy but soft kiss, you feel a wave of comfort wash over you, melting away any lingering worries. When you part, she settles back again, her gaze fixated on your dripping core and the toy buried deep inside you. The sight fuels her own arousal, her desire building with each rhythmic movement and every moan that escapes your lips.

You teetered on the edge, your soft pants and moans growing louder with each thrust. With newfound determination, you picked up the pace, surprising even Alexia with the rapidity of your movements. The toy glided in and out of you effortlessly, your body bathed in a soft glow, beads of sweat glistening on your skin.

Alexia, unable to resist any longer, surrendered to her own climax, her moans mingling with yours as she whispered praises of your beauty. Your grin faltered slightly, a hint of worry creeping into your expression. "Should I stop?" you asked softly, mindful of her sensitivity after such an intense experience.

"No, please, don't stop," Alexia pleaded, eager to witness your unraveling. "Does it still feel different?" she inquired softly. "Sí," you panted out, feeling the intensity building within you. Alexia's thumb found its way to your clit, applying gentle pressure and circling it with expert precision. A moan of pleasure escaped your lips as you felt the knot in your stomach drawing closer to release. You reassured yourself in your mind that everything would be okay; after all, your girlfriend was here with you.

For a moment, your mind went blank, overwhelmed by waves of pleasure that left you unable to think or hear anything but the ringing in your ears. Alexia's voice reached you softly, but it was distant, muffled by the intensity of the moment. Then, suddenly, clarity returned, and you felt an incredible release of pleasure wash over you from deep within your stomach.

With a reflexive movement, you scooted backward, your back arching as your breasts were fully on display. Alexia's hand found one of them, her touch sending shivers of delight through your body, while her other hand continued its skillful ministrations on your clit.

Her eyes widened in amazement as she noticed the liquid dripping down your core and onto the sheets, evidence of your overwhelming arousal. Amidst your moans of ecstasy, you managed to articulate, "Gosh, this feels good. You feel so good." With gentle precision, Alexia withdrew the toy from within you, replacing it with two of her fingers, which elicited even more liquid from your trembling body.

As you lay back on the bed, your eyes fluttered open to meet Alexia's gaze, her smile radiating love and adoration. In that moment, you felt an overwhelming sense of connection and intimacy, knowing that you were completely and utterly cherished by the woman before you.

"That was so hot, mi amor. Te amo mucho," she whispers, leaning in for another soft kiss. You can't help but smile into the kiss, feeling a warmth spread through you at her words. As she caresses your body tenderly, she notices your heightened state of arousal and withdraws her hand, her concern evident in her gaze.

"Are you feeling okay, amor?" you ask, always attentive to her well-being. She appreciates your care, her smile softening as she looks up at you. "Sí, mi vida. More than okay," she assures you, her eyes reflecting contentment and love.

"And are you feeling okay?" she inquires, gently brushing her fingers against your cheek. "I'm more than okay too," you reply, returning her smile with equal affection.

You shift slightly and notice a wet patch on the bedsheets, your cheeks flushing bright red. "I'm sorry, the bedsheets," you manage to stammer out, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Don't be, it was hot and I want to see that again," she says with a playful wiggle of her eyebrows, making you laugh.

"En serio, quiero volver a ver eso," with that, she leans in for another soft kiss, and you sigh contentedly.

"T'estimo tant," she whispers against your lips before lifting you up in her arms bridal style to carry you to the bathroom for cleanup.

As you shower, she takes care of the bedsheets, her thoughts wandering to when she might get to experience that again with you, hoping it will be soon.

The love she feels for you fills her chest, and she can't wait for the day when she gets to marry you.

----------------------------------------------------------

Do you think I should try writing a bit more smut again?

[crazyvik97rpg]

Alan didn't let William get out of this hug for a while - he just held him tight and rubbed his back soothingly. If Sebastian was going through something so serious, than it was more than telling when William looked like he looked today. Exhausted, big dark circles under his eyes, Alan just knew he worried so much, he couldn't imagine what these two were going through. On top of that, Sebastian was still so young. Getting such diagnosis at such point in time - it must be soul crushing.

Visiting him though seemed like an excellent idea, William agreed and so did the others. Sebastian seemed fine enough already for that. Eric smiled: "Great, then we could visit him all together. What about tomorrow, right after school? In which hospital does he stay, how far is it? We could get him some flowers and sweets, some chocolate, to cheer him up".

"Ohh yes, that sounds great. I can buy the flowers", Ronald volunteered with a grin, "I have experience in buying flowers, I've been getting Sonia a lot of them lately. I bet if I tell Seb that, he will feel better right away", he snickered - Sebastian would be always so grumpy whenever Ronald did something stupid regarding Sonia after all.

"That's great, then we can get the sweets. Will, you know best what he likes", Alan smiled, "But we'll manage. So then tomorrow after school? We can take our car, there's enough room for us", he patted William's back and only now pulled away from the hug, so he could look at him.

If Sebastian only knew what great friends he had - not only worried for him but caring for William too. He needed the support, more than anyone - he kept neglecting his needs for Sebastian, to be strong for him, but that could only work for so long either.

Around noon, Sebastian was alone in his room again - his neighbour was now in surgery and he got to chat with him only a little bit before. He was friendly, a former military guy but now retired. An interesting fellow to chat with for sure.

His body kept him busy either way - the pain was a handful today and the nurses didn't want to give him too high of a dose of pain meds all the time. Soreness was a part of recovery he supposed but he could barely move and he also couldn't sleep like that. So he was just in a constant state of exhaustion, feeling like a bus ran him over. He was counting seconds at this point - visiting hours just started and he couldn't wait for his boyfriend to come already.

Before that, though, someone else showed up.

"Sebastian...oh dear, I finally found your room, this place is a whole big maze, gosh..."

It was the most pleasant surprise. Sebastian's eyes lit up, he recognized her by the voice alone and his lips curved up into a smile. "Grandma-...grandma, you're here?"

"How could I not visit my favourite grandson", she grinned and she came to a halt right next to his bed as she gently took his hand, squeezed it. "When you're not able to visit me, I have to visit you", she smiled, big round glasses on her nose - Grandma Lillian, Sebastian's mother's mother. That was a big surprise, to say the least - they didn't see each other for well over a year, maybe called each other a handful of times. Usually they celebrated Christmas together with the whole family. But that didn't happen last Christmas - and now it was already mid of September.

"How are you? Are you better already, I thought you had such problems with your lungs?", Sebastian asked right away, his eyes big as he looked at her in awe - she merely chuckled at that question. She didn't look the youngest on her own anymore, her grey hair put up in a simple updo - she had a cane with her too, just in case.

"I should be asking you, my darling. Your mother told me just the other day, well-...she told me all about your illness. And that you had surgery. I didn't think I would get to see you in such hospital bed before me", she sighed, the look on her face sad and worried - it pained Sebastian, to say the least. "I thought about calling you but I needed to see you in person. It's been such a long time. How are you?"

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[2amriize]

✩࿐࿔ the new coworker - seunghan one shot

summary: everyone was kinda scared of you at work, until he showed up.

genre: sunshine x cold, fluff pairing: seunghan x reader note: i miss seunghan very much. today was the day he was supossed to comeback, so im really missing him today </3

(idea by: @jakahbot ♥)

For some people, office work can seem very boring, and for you, it was no different. Although the job was comfortable, every day felt like the same monotonous routine. You’d only been working there for a year, but you still hadn’t managed to start a conversation or make friends with any of your coworkers. This was typical for you; it was always difficult to start conversations with people, and most didn’t see you as friendly since you often had a serious expression. The truth was, you thought you didn’t really need to befriend anyone—you were just there to do your job, so having friends wasn’t necessary, right?

One day, during your coffee break, as you sat in the cafeteria sipping your coffee, you were surprised to see your supervisor enter with a young man by his side, showing him around the office. The young man had dark hair and a somewhat cat-like face. For a moment, your eyes met, and he gave you a smile that made his eyes disappear before he walked out of the cafeteria.

Why did he smile at you? You looked around to confirm that no one else was there for him to be smiling at, and indeed, you were the only one present. Not even two minutes had passed when a group of your coworkers came into the cafeteria, talking excitedly about the new guy in the office.

“Did you see the new guy? He’s adorable...”

“Right? His smile almost made me melt, and his voice…”

“I hope they put him near my desk so I can see him every day…”

They fell silent when they noticed you in the room, glancing at you for a few seconds before giving a quick greeting. That’s when you knew it was time to leave. For some reason, you felt like your presence made people uncomfortable. Whenever you saw your coworkers in the halls or cafeteria, they looked at you as if they were afraid. It was something you’d never really understood. Without saying a word, you left the cafeteria and returned to your desk.

You weren’t expecting to see the new guy at the desk opposite yours, but as soon as he saw you arrive, he quickly stood up, bowing to greet you.

“Hi, I’m Seunghan. I’ll be working here from now on. I hope we get along well,” he said, looking at you with the same smile he’d given you earlier.

You looked at him for a few seconds, then nodded several times before turning your gaze back to your computer screen. Maybe you were just bad at socializing since you didn’t know how to respond to him; you just hoped he wouldn’t interfere with your work too much.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Days passed, and at first, everything went quite smoothly. There was no noticeable change; you just had a new coworker across from you (who would smile every time you made eye contact). The only thing that annoyed you was hearing some groups of coworkers come over to your section to ask if Seunghan needed help or just to offer him a snack or drink. At first, it didn’t bother you too much, but the interruptions gradually started to overwhelm you, as they kept you from working.

During one of these visits, you decided to take a break, getting up from your desk with a sigh and leaving. The office fell silent as they heard you sigh, watching you as you exited the room. But once the door closed behind you, everyone resumed their conversations.

Stepping outside, you sat on one of the benches across from the building, planning to wait until people left your coworker’s desk. After a few minutes, while looking at your phone, a coffee cup appeared in front of you. Looking up, you saw that it was Seunghan offering it. You stared at him for a moment, confused, before taking the cup. He then sat down beside you, looking at you.

“Y/n, right? Sorry for being such a bother in the office…” he started, looking down at his coffee. “It seems like a lot of people have taken a liking to me,” he added, flashing you his usual smile.

“It’s alright; I guess it’s not really your fault,” you murmured, taking a sip of the coffee.

“Oh? This is the first time I’ve heard you talk,” Seunghan said with a small laugh, looking at you in mild surprise. “You know, I’ve heard people say not to approach you or that they’re afraid of you…”

“Yes, I’ve heard that too.”

“But I don’t think that’s true, so maybe I’ll be a bit of a bother to you.”

You looked at him, a bit confused, unsure how to respond. What did he mean? The fact that he was even talking to you now felt strange. It was the first time someone at work had a conversation with you about something unrelated to reports or work issues. Meanwhile, Seunghan held your gaze. After a few seconds, you just stood up without really knowing what to say and headed back inside.

“See you, Y/n!” he called after you.

To be honest, you thought he was just being polite that one time and that it would end with that conversation. You didn’t expect that Seunghan would actually try to become closer to you. He started leaving snacks on your desk, which you found after returning from breaks. Every time you looked over at his desk, you’d find him smiling at you, sometimes even winking before returning to his work. Initially, you didn’t know how to react, and you’d simply put the snack in your bag to eat later.

But that wasn’t all. During the first few weeks of working together, he’d often come to you to ask about things he didn’t yet understand, which you’d try to explain as briefly and concisely as possible. He then started sitting beside you in the cafeteria during breaks, trying to spark a conversation or simply talking about himself, sharing things like what he did over the weekend or the dramas he was watching.

At first, you would simply listen, occasionally meeting his gaze. You couldn’t deny that you enjoyed his company. You’d always had your coffee alone in that room, so it felt a bit strange at first to be sharing it with someone else. But for some reason, you were getting used to having Seunghan by your side. In fact, you were starting to look forward to his company. You couldn’t forget the expression on his face the first time he saw you smile or when he made you laugh. His eyes were bright, and he couldn’t help but smile as he looked at you.

“Oh? You have a really pretty smile, Y/n,” he said the first time he saw you smile.

Of course, as expected, this began to spark rumors throughout the office, causing the coworkers who’d already looked at you with unease or even fear to now glare at you with irritation. You didn’t mind; they’d always looked at you that way. What did bother you, though, was being judged by people who didn’t know you, who didn’t really know who you were.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Several months had passed since Seunghan had started working with you. The days that had once felt monotonous and hard to get through were now pleasant, thanks to him. But that day, nothing was going as you’d hoped. One of your supervisors had scolded you for sending out documents before they’d been reviewed. You couldn’t help feeling bad, and unconsciously, you avoided Seunghan all day. You exchanged glances a few times from your desk, but you were so lost in thought about what had happened that you quickly looked away. Seunghan obviously noticed you weren’t quite yourself, but each time he tried to ask what was wrong, you’d go somewhere else, almost as if you were avoiding him.

That day, you decided to stay late to correct your mistake. It might have seemed trivial to others or just a small error, but to you, it felt huge. Before you knew it, the office was completely empty, with only your desk light still on. You checked the time: 9:30. You let out a sigh as you gathered your things and walked out.

“Y/n,” a voice called as you exited the building, and turning around, you saw Seunghan.

“Seunghan? Why are you here this late?”

“I brought you dinner,” he said, showing you the bags he held in one hand.

“Oh, that wasn’t necessary…”

“Is something wrong, Y/n? I know I’m usually the one talking, sharing stuff about my life, but sometimes I also want to know what you’re thinking…”

You looked at him in silence. No one had ever shown much interest in you, or at least, not in how you were feeling or what was happening with you. You didn’t know why Seunghan was behaving this way toward you; maybe he was just a genuinely kind person, but you were grateful for it.

“Maybe…maybe we could go to my place for dinner? It’s too cold out here…” you said without thinking, and Seunghan nodded eagerly.

It was the first time you’d invited anyone to your home, but it was too cold outside, and it wasn’t the best place to talk. Once settled in, Seunghan and you sat at the table, and after a few seconds, you told him what had happened that day. Seunghan listened attentively, understanding why you’d been acting that way.

But the conversation didn’t end there; maybe it was because you were in your home, which felt like a safe place, or maybe it was because Seunghan inspired so much trust in you, but you started sharing things about yourself, like your interests and why you’d started working there.

Talking to Seunghan helped you stop dwelling on that morning’s incident at work, and before you knew it, it was nearly 2 a.m.

“I don’t understand why everyone says negative things about you…” Seunghan murmured, making you shrug.

“Well, I can understand why everyone speaks so well of you,”

Your comment made both of you laugh softly, holding his gaze for a few moments. If someone asked you how you felt in that moment, you wouldn’t know how to describe it exactly, but it was as if you felt at peace. It had been a long time since you’d felt so comfortable with someone. After a minute of looking at each other in silence, you nodded a few times, averting your gaze.

“Thank you for reaching out and talking to me, Seunghan. I really appreciate it.”

“There’s no need to thank me, Y/n; you know I did it because you caught my attention,” he murmured with his familiar smile.

ᡣ𐭩 masterlist

taglist: @regularsuh @gacktsa @totheseok @kkumistars @taroddori

@enhacolor @ladylilith @electric-hearts @astrobymarwa @layluv123

@sunflowers1610 @nctrawberries @synkjellies

[sierrale8ne]

40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS CHAPTER NINE

thought i’d be lying if i said ‘i didn’t want you to myself.’ when you look me in my eyes and, tell me that it’s mine, i…

pairing wnba!paige bueckers x singer!oc

taglist @thaatdigitaldiary @ohbueckers @wbbgetsmewetter @rosemariiaa @tndaqlifwy @patscorner @pboogerswbb @xxloveralways14 @makethemhoesmad @slvt4her @uconnpazzi @luvapaigeeyy @hedidnotpleaseme @paigesbabygirl @mopopshop @omg-imtumbling @ch12334 @wbb4l

kalena speakss 🪽! chapter in honor of game day! but it’s not looking too good for our faves i fear.

June 2025 — Los Angeles, California

“Can you open the door?”

“In a second, K! Be patient!”

“We need to talk, open this door!” Kaylee yells, her fist pounding against the door.

I groan, tugging on some sweatpants and a shirt over my recently moisturized body. I had just gotten back from my pilates class, fresh out of a shower when she called and told me she’d be visiting.

I throw open the door, stumbling over my pant leg. “What?”

“We need to talk about your birthday show.”

The show is something we’ve been planning all year, music is what I love and I wanted to spend my birthday doing what I loved. But still, this show has been finalized for weeks, so I huff at Kaylee irritatedly. She dragged me out of the shower and banged on my door to talk about this?

“What about it, K?”

“So Summer backed out.” She starts, walking into my condo and dropping her bag on the table. She stands in my kitchen, pulling her work phone out of her pocket and setting the other on the counter. “Something came up, but I got KWN to take her spot.”

“That all could’ve been a text message. Or a phone call.” I laugh, pulling my hair over my shoulder so it would stop dripping down my back. “Why are you here?”

“What, you don’t want me here? Julian around or something?”

My eyes can’t help but roll at the mention. Not because of him, but because of the serious beef between the two.

“No he’s at a conference in Philly— are you guys ever gonna figure out your problems, by the way?” I question with a giggle. I turn around, my back facing Kaylee as I walk into my living room allowing her to make herself at home.

It’s quiet for a moment, no words spoken between me or herself even though I’m waiting for a response. When I look up from my spot on the couch her eyes are small, squinting at me. Kaylee is chewing on her bottom lip as she approaches me, gears turning in her head.

“You know, I’ve been meaning to ask you about the cameras last night.” She says. “You sure you didn’t mess with it?”

I try to avoid looking at her. I’m a good liar, but Kaylee has known me since I was 18, I can’t lie to her anymore. She’s suspicious, and though I don’t know of what it’s still incredibly nerve wracking.

“Yeah. Not at all.” Which technically isn’t a lie, I never touched that button, Paige did.

Kaylee nods, her head tilting back and forth like she’s weighing odds in her head. “And what’s his name is in Philly, yes?”

“Yes. Kaylee, what’s up with all the—”

The way she slouches on the couch next to me is exaggerated, a small thump when she cuts me off. “So then who gave you that hickey, Raye? Or all of them.”

In all honesty, I could’ve kept the lie going. I should’ve kept it going. I could act clueless, or tell her it was a bug bite, or that Julian left it a while ago. So many things I could’ve said but I chose to sit there quietly. The words piling on my tongue and dying there.

“Raye, I’m not gonna be mad. Just let me know now, so I can handle it if I need to.” She reassures me.

“No, no, you’re definitely gonna be mad.”

“Was it Paige?” I open my mouth to speak before kissing my teeth. When I make eye contact with her, she’s covering her mouth incredulously. “Raye, no.” She whines.

“I’m sorry!” I start apologizing, but in my heart I know I don’t regret anything.

“You’re gay?”

“I don’t think that’s the most important topic at hand.”

“Right, sorry.” She laughs, covering her mouth and brushing it off.

Even though I can feel her eyes burning holes in the side of my neck, I should feel embarrassed but all I can think about in my head is the manner in which the blonde left those marks on my neck.

I keep replaying that moment when I got home. Heavily buzzed and exhausted, standing in front of the mirror with my hand running across the tender skin. And the moment immediately following when Paige filled my phone with more teasing texts messages.

I remember even before then, when she was laying me down and feeling me up. Being so fucking vulgar in my ears as she told me what she wanted to do to me. So forward and nasty towards me.

The marks on my neck were a bright red last night that transformed into a deep purple when I woke up this morning. It was obvious that Paige was awfully proud of her work and how flustered she got me. After Kaylee walked in and we sat there on the couch, that smirk never seemed to leave her face.

“Those pictures. Were you guys—”

“No, we weren’t doing anything then. I promise.” I reassured. Kaylee isn’t even angry when she looks at me, but her eyes are disappointed; I’ve known her long enough to know that look. “I dunno, she just makes me feel different.”

I don’t know why I feel the need to explain myself. Kaylee simply wouldn’t understand why I chose to cheat on my pretty decent human being of a boyfriend, for a girl I’ve known for a month and a half. There really isn’t an explanation or excuse to be given. I made a mistake. A really bad one, but even then it doesn’t feel like it.

Paige doesn’t feel like a mistake, I couldn’t ever classify her as one.

The woman next to me straightens up, her elbows resting on her knees. She puts her head in her hands, thinking of what to say to me. “Different? You have feelings for her? Or are you guys just hooking up?”

“We haven’t slept together, K.”

She raises her head gingerly. “Wait so...” Kaylee begins. Her body turns to face me, suddenly I’m even more aware of the bruises on my neck. “You’re telling me, you and her have been kissing and hanging out or whatever. Telling me that you’re just friends, when you’re not. But you haven’t slept with her and might have feelings for her?”

“It’s complicated, Kaylee. I—”

“It’s messy, Raye, that’s what it is!” She runs her fingers through her short brunette hair. “You can’t be putting yourself in scandals like this. What if Julian finds out and runs to the blogs? Or if Paige outs your little affair to someone.”

I don’t hesitate to defend Paige with my first breath. “She wouldn’t do something like that.”

“You don’t know that! Y’think she can’t be pillow talking someone else right now?”

I haven’t even thought about the possibility of Paige doing all this with someone else. She isn’t like that, right? Rumors supporting that idea exist, sure, but that isn’t who she is.

“You’re still with Julian while messing with her. You think she isn’t messing with someone else either?” Kaylee practically digs the knife in deeper. “You’re thinking with your heart, not your head, Raye you know better than that.”

I do know better. I’ve always put my career first, but all it took was some icy blue eyes and blond hair to make me lose all my common sense.

I tear my eyes away from her, staring down at my hands. It feels like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest. “Fucking hell.” I mumble under my breath.

“You need to make a choice, babe. It can’t be both, you know that.”

I let out a loud groan, being forced to come to terms with all of this. “Yeah, I know.” I huff. I deserve this, I made this mess, let Paige get this close when I knew I shouldn’t have.

She was always there, everything I ever went through with Julian, Paige was the ear I needed. And because of that she weaved her way into my life and threaded a giant knot that I was left to untangle.

Then there’s Julian. Who even passed all the yelling is still the sweetheart I fell for in the first place. Lifting me up, and supporting me through it all. Yet, I still went out of my way to hurt him over and over again.

I’m fucking screwed.

—

marayemusic

liked by paigebueckers, julianbaker_, and 2,307 others

marayemusic music video coming soon 🕯️?

view all comments | 2 minutes ago

—

June 2025 — Malibu, California

“Two minutes is crazy, P.”

“Shut up. Quit being nosy.” I responded.

We played the Storm at home tonight, adding another much needed win to our season. As a result, Nika sits across from me at our table at Nobu, a much needed catch up with my good friend.

“I’m not! I wanted to talk to you about it anyway.” Nika hums. She’s smirking at me by the time I pocket my phone in my brown pants. “Those photos look like you got a lil girlfriend.”

“Definitely not a girlfriend. It’s complicated, Nik.” I answer, reaching for my passion fruit drink and taking a sip. “She got a boyfriend.”

Nika’s jaw drops as she looks at me. Maraye and Julian’s relationship is still surprisingly kept out of the public eye. I had to applaud her for it, I didn’t think she would be able to pull it off with how much Julian had been nagging her.

“Are you being serious.” Nika asks me. Our server comes back to the table with our food. I smile, muttering a thank you and taking my plate of Wagyu salad.

“Oh yeah. Deadass serious.”

“Paige.”

“I swear it’s not my fault.” I shake my head in defense. “She just— it’s literally impossible to stay away from her, bro.”

Nika doesn’t even try to stop the cackle that leaves her throat, ridiculing me and I can’t help but laugh with her. If I wasn’t in this position, I probably would’ve been laughing at myself too. Down bad over a girl who’s in a relationship, and allegedly straight. It’s truly comical.

“Oh my God, you’re pussy whipped!”

“Chill!” I scold, kicking her leg under the table in an attempt to quiet her down from yelling obscenities in this nice ass restaurant. “I haven’t even had sex with her, Nik. This ain’t what you think it is.”

She feeds a piece of sushi into her mouth. “You know what this reminds me of?” Nika asks, tapping her chopstick against the ceramic plate. “This reminds me of Nyla.”

I stop digging into my salad and roll my eyes at the mention of her name. The mention of the girl who I had been seeing for a large part of my college career. We’d slept together for a while, then I caught feelings and made it complicated. In all honesty you could blame Nyla for my lack of dating, but this wasn’t that.

Maraye wasn’t anything like Nyla whatsoever. I truly believed that.

“There’s been many other girls since Nyla, y’know that right?” I explain, my lips moving into a tight line.

“Ew, I don’t need to know about your slut activities, P.” She brushes me off.

“You asked!” I counter.

“My point is, you’re letting yourself get in too deep again.” She tells me and I turn my attention back to my food. “I’m not your mom. Explore, get to know people, I don’t care. But exploring with the straight girl, with a man is gonna get you hurt, P.”

My leg bounces soundly under the table. It’s a weird feeling, because in my heart I know Maraye is nothing like Nyla. But at the same time, we’re doing all that we’re doing while she goes back home to Julian.

“I can never figure her out.” I start, catching Nika slightly off guard. “I dunno if she likes me, or if she just wants sex, or if I’m jus’ a distraction for him.”

“You caught feelings for her, didn’t you.”

I hate that word. Feelings. I hate admitting them, I hate feeling them.

I think I do have feelings for Raye. She’s all I ever seem to be thinking about nowadays. I’m searching for her in everyone else. When someone laughs I’m thinking that it doesn’t sound like hers, or how someone’s perfume doesn’t smell as good as her’s does.

“I feel something for her, that’s for damn sure.” I shrug, mouth full of some fancy steak. “I needa clear my head, I’m never thinking straight when it comes to her.”

Nika stifles a giggle, covering her mouth with her palm.

“What?” I ask.

“Not thinking straight. Get it.”

I stare blankly before shaking my head. This was the person who I was trusting to give me advice. “Ha ha, dyke joke. Real funny Nik.”

“You said it, not me!” The giggles some more before finally pulling herself together. “All I’m saying, is that you don’t deserve to get hurt again. Take some time, figure it all out, and then be honest with her.”

I nod, taking it all in. Maraye is amazing in all ways possible, and I shamelessly want her to myself. But unfortunately that just isn’t the case. She isn’t my own, she belongs to someone else. I keep telling myself that I have to respect that, but it just becomes harder and harder every damn day.

I don’t know how to be second best. I’ve never been second best or allowed myself to be that. Whether it’s basketball or anything else in life, I’d rather be dead last than second best.

So to know that Julian is Maraye’s first choice, and I’m forced to be second is fucking unbearable.

Maybe I do need space. Figure out what it is I want from her and move forward from there. I don’t know how to do that though. I was fucking miserable that week where she wasn’t texting me, now I need space. Funny how that works.

“P?”

“Hmm?”

“You good?” Nika asks, spicy mayo at the corner of her lips.

I nod, feeling my mood slightly diminish just thinking about all this. “Yeah, fine. How’s recovery goin’?” I ask, changing the subject and moving the spotlight off of myself.

[crguang]

violinist kafka x her pianist accompaniment reader, courtesy of my 🎹 anon and @shalomniscient’s beautiful brain <3 we’ve been going crazy over this AU since i received the ask today.

R and kafka are childhood best friends who have been playing together since their respective instructors discovered their potential and made them work together on a piece, very much young prodigies in the making who do nothing but hone their skills with the dream of becoming the best in their field. one day, when they’re around 16 years old, R moves away. this bus ride is the last memory kafka holds of them together and she remembers it viscerally whenever she brings an especially complex composition to life, which eventually becomes the source of her recognition and success. this is a goodbye she only understands once she’s lost them.

607. i miss you.

//

You held her hand that early evening on the way to the bus stop on the corner street four minutes from the music academy; your pinky finger loosely looped with hers and in the chill of February, she could feel the rough material of your knitted glove against her own, the one gifted to you by an aunt she doesn’t remember the name of. Fingertips linked like an implicit promise, she spared you a questioning glance at the unusual gesture and you avoided her gaze, making a show of scrolling through a playlist on your MP3 player with your free hand. She thinks of it as holding hands now, because despite your palms not touching at the time, your bodies were connected through that fragile bridge between your fingers and your hands swayed in the air with your unhurried steps. Each of her exhales were made visible by the cold while you kept yours within the confines of the scarf around your neck, you always despised the drop in temperature. Even with the bottom half of your head hidden by the soft fabric, she could read the reservation on the lines of your face. You were keeping something in and it was obvious to her who had known you since that Wednesday you sat in her every-day rehearsal room, patiently waiting with her violin instructor and a faraway look in your eyes. Back then, it had been eight years. Perhaps that isn’t accurate, she has known you a total of eight years up to the present day. That is the only constant between you, whoever you are today she does not know.

Kafka chuckles lowly to herself, a self-deprecating sound. After all this time, she still needs this moment of reminiscence before she dares put the bow to her violin’s sacred strings. If this is what puts her in the state of mind necessary to perform this composition flawlessly, so be it. She inhales long and slow, then exhales quietly through her mouth. She raises her right hand and in one controlled motion, slides the bow over the first note of her instrument. 

The 607 bus was half empty when you stepped on it first. You paid the bus fare and she followed you to the back after doing the same. You took the seat next to a window tainted with water streaks and silently took the violin case from her hands to lay part of it on your thigh, the other half rested on her leg the entire ride home, its small weight shared like the rest of your burdens. She took the earphone you handed her and pressed a little closer to you to see what you were showing her on your MP3. The bus started moving a second later. 

“I don’t want something too loud this time,” you said, scrolling down the music app where you’d created playlists for each other a year prior. 

“Lame.”

“You chose the playlist yesterday, you don’t get to complain. This one is nice.”

You pressed play on a slow song and lifted your head to meet her eyes expectantly as the first melodies reached her ear. She conceded with a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders. You smiled, a soft edge to it, and didn’t tear your gaze from hers for a moment that Kafka now wonders if it lasted seconds or minutes. You looked into her eyes, searching for something she didn’t have the guts to confess, and she looked back at you with the words on her lips. They were often there, sitting just past her lips like they’d fly out of her mouth the instant she opened it, but she found that they were anchored to her tongue and had no plan to leave the warmth of their comfort zone. Her eyebrows twitched in question for the second time that hour, an unsure smile on her face in response to your stare.

“What?”

Her attempt to glimpse into your mind broke the suspended moment. You shook your head somewhat ruefully.

“Nothing.”

You lowered your MP3 and followed the movement with your eyes, avoiding hers once again. She could see something brewing inside of you since that morning, guilt you couldn’t admit to her, maybe, but she didn’t push thinking you would speak up eventually. Instead, she playfully nudged your side with an elbow.

“Practice used up your last brain cells or what?”

“Ha, ha. Like you weren’t the one struggling to keep up with the tempo.”

“Try again, maybe the next lie will be more convincing.”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot Kafka The Prodigy could never make a mistake, ever. I’m only the accompaniment, what would I know?”

“That’s more like it.”

You lifted your eyes to the sky, but the smile that replaced the weird one you were previously giving her was much more brilliant. You glanced at her, then turned your head to the window. An older couple were quietly chatting to themselves a few rows to the left in front of you, their heads leaning against each other, and she spent a minute looking at them while the next song played in your earphones. With the music, it was impossible to catch what one was saying to the other, but that didn’t matter. Their bodies were pressed together like yours with hers, as if huddling for warmth, and the woman was talking with her hands the way you would when you were passionate about a new album you just discovered. She didn’t notice it then, that she was looking for you in others even as you sat next to her. Her world was so small; you and music, music and you, and those hours where the two were one and the same. 

To this day, you are the music she plays. Your harmonious smiles and dulcet voice, they are all within the melodies she borrows from other composers and in a sense, you are always on stage next to her during a performance. In the practice room, Kafka furrows her brows. She feels it mounting in her, that feeling that makes her great, akin to a pulsing heart ascending to her throat until it lodges itself between her vocal chords and she lets the violin speak for her. The climax approaches steadily, she knows that part like the back of her hand. 

She lost interest in the talking couple. You were still looking outside the window at the swaying tree branches and passing cars, and she wondered what was so interesting out there that you couldn’t look at her. She watched your eyelids droop, though you stayed awake and kept staring at the world beyond the two of you. The song in her ear had a bass that followed her heartbeat. It wasn't sad, but you were. Streetlights had come on to balance out the rapidly vanishing sunlight and each one illuminated your features in fleeting rays of yellow, your eyes were hazy and your lips no longer smiling for her, and strands of hair brushed your temple whenever you adjusted your head on the glass. She followed the smooth lines of your brows down to the bridge of your nose, then to the curve of your upper lip. On her lap, her fingers twitched and curled into a loose fist. Her gaze went unnoticed, you were entirely enticed by the world beyond her reach and she was enthralled by the sadness on your face that added years to your current age of merely sixteen. You knew something she didn’t, she was sure of it, but no sound came out of her mouth after she parted her lips to ask. You swallowed, and her eyes flitted to the lump in your throat before settling back on your fluttering lashes. She suddenly perceived a distance between you that made her deeply uncomfortable and that feeling sat on her chest until your bus stop approached and you finally straightened up to look back at her. You smiled weakly, and Kafka spent years regretting not saying anything as you hesitantly patted her closed fist and placed the violin case on her thighs so you could prepare to stand, ringing the bell to announce your stop. She searched your eyes and found nothing but apologies. 

“Playing with you makes me so happy,” you said out of the blue, holding up her stare intently. “You’re really great.”

“I know,” she replied lamely, half-jokingly, “but I like hearing you say it.”

You let out a quiet laugh, the sound weak and breathless. It made her smile nonetheless. 

“You’re gonna be so great, and I’m gonna be great, and we’re gonna be great together. We’ll perform on stage just like we talked about, and in ten years, we’ll be the best in our field.”

“It’ll take me less than ten years. But I’ll wait for you to catch up.”

You gazed at her for the half minute it took for the bus to pull over, searing her playful cockiness into your mind, then you stood and she moved her legs out of the way for you to reach the aisle. 

“Bye, Kafka.”

“See you M…” Her goodbye was interrupted by the soft press of your lips on her cheek, a quick gesture before you rapidly turned away from her and walked out of the bus. “...Monday,” she muttered in confusion. 

She turned to the window as the bus started up again and you waved at her with enthusiasm that felt out of place. Still, she made a disgusted face that made you smile wider, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue like she was going to puke from the uncharacteristic display of affection. Your figure got smaller and smaller, and she lifted a hand to her cheek to wipe the skin where your lips had been.

The piece is coming to an end. The hardest part has passed and all that is left is a clean finish that Kafka executes perfectly. The final note rings out in the empty room. Her head hangs low for a moment, eyes shut and exhaling slowly through her mouth. She is great and she’ll perform on stage in two weeks. She is not the best, not yet, she’s missing the soothing notes of piano keys to accompany her violin. Kafka chuckles to herself, the irony of this thought is laughable. She smiles, raises her head, and starts the piece from the top. 

[loulovingho]

Seeing the Maddie gif just reminded of all the wasted potential and storylines they could have had with Tommy and the bucktommy relationship. Because let's face it, for all of the mains it's the same storyline over and over again - we're not learning anything new about them. But then here we have a character who we sort of already know, who they've teased us with a bit of his history and it was like finally! A chance for something new! We could have learned more about his family, maybe see how Buck reacts meeting his father and then having to deal with his homophobic reaction to him, the man he loves and their relationship. He clearly sounded like he didn't have a lot of close friends/family/support outside of Buck - we could have explored that, have Buck be there for his man and show him how, you have me and the 118. We never got to see the whole "dating a fellow first responder and the challenges that come with that" - we've seen Buck in the hospital so many times, it would have been interesting to see Tommy in that hospital bed and Buck having to deal with the one being by the bedside for once, worrying about someone he loves, maybe making him fully appreciate everything his family had gone through in the past when HE was the one injured (like all the effort Maddie went into to look after him). We could have had Tommy and Eddie bonding over war stories - was Tommy discharged due to DADT? If so, we could have had conversations with Karen, who also was affected by that. Hell, if they were gonna do the stupid "he was engaged to Abby for two years" story, have Chim and Hen be like, dude, you were working with us all that time, how did we not KNOW (that story still makes no sense - he never mentioned her name to them? Because if he did, surely it would have clicked when they met her in S1 "oh, you're Tommy's Abby". But Tim acknowledged he retconned their relationship from an ex-boyfriend to ex-fiances so he clearly doesn't care.)

But most of all, despite being together for SIX MONTHS, we never saw Tommy and Maddie interact. Maddie was clearly excited for Buck ("tell me about the hot pilot"), she's married to Tommy's old friend, there was the perfect opportunity to see them start to bond over family dinner or something. We've never seen Maddie really click with any of Buck's LI's before, so it would have been nice to see Buck's whole world start to come together. And it could have led to family orientated stories for Buck for once - we always assume he wants kids because he says he loves kids and we see that with Chris, Jee etc. There could have been discussions for the first time about Buck's future - does he see himself getting married, having kids (and ugh, so annoyed that the first time Buck mentions the possibility of getting married is 30 seconds before his heart is crushed).

And that's not even going into the small things I wanted to see on-screen. I knew we were never gonna get anything too intimate - 911 is a bit prudish, they don't really do sex scenes, especially not since the first season, and hell, all their other main couples barely kiss as it is. But things like holding hands as they're walking down the street, talking about their day while making dinner together, waking up in bed together - small little domestic things that show how their relationship is developing. SHOW it developing. (Because while the snippets they showed of their relationship showed that they were growing more comfortable as a couple, a lot of that development happened off screen.)

This was the first time in a long time, maybe ever, that we saw Buck truly happy (that man was GLOWING, even covered in boils). For the first time, we could have seen his story GROW, instead of doing the same lather, rinse, repeat that has happened in all his relationships (Buck falls for someone, goes too hard too fast, they abandon him, he doesn't bother fighting for the relationship). We could have finally had a sprinkling of new storylines (Tommy wasn't a main, we obviously weren't going to get a hell of a lot, but if Karen can have her own stories/backstories, so could he). All that down the drain for what, Buck 1.0 again? Him jumping back on that hamster wheel of "find new love interest, it goes nowhere, he's single again". It's boring, and this show is on its 8th season - not only has this been played out for too long, who knows how much longer the show is gonna last. If it only goes until say season 10, that would have been two and a half seasons worth of seeing Buck be able to grow, get the love he always wanted (hell, maybe even get engaged, finish the series with a wedding implying he gets his happily ever after). Buck is only one member of an ensemble cast - they can't focus on him every episode, so two years is plenty of time to draw out only a handful of fresh stories. After 8 season, keeping him perpetually single for this long only works if he's always been played as like Joey off Friends - someone who is happy playing the dating game, not looking to go anywhere. Except Buck has been shown to be looking for love all this time - he doesn't want that single life (he doesnt want to "explore" Tim - screwing random men and women isnt going to help him find that love he's always wanted, especially when he already had it). But instead, they take it away from him AGAIN, and now they're back to square one. Sigh.

There’s so much i agree with here! They’ve tried to cram soooo many storylines into each episode that there’s no room to breathe. Everything feels stunted and half-assed. Tim said they didn’t want to ignore everything that happened at the end of 7, wanted to pick it back up, but they spent these first few episodes either destroying the storylines they built on, or ending them so abruptly it doesn’t feel satisfying. Nothing feels connected anymore. In early seasons you’d have them all working together on certain major storylines, but I’d doesn’t really feel like that happens now outside of calls. And the calls are so quick (besides the damn plane) that you don’t really connect with that either.

It would have been nice to see tommy and buck develop more, nice to see him involved with the group instead of just Eddie, nice to see them keep their word and try to make this love interest different from the rest. They did none of that.

[brown-bi-beautiful]

BABY BOY

College au

Pairing: nerd! Jungkook x fuckgirl! reader

MINORS DNI

Genre: strangers to lovers? smut, fluff, a little angst

Words: 21.4k

Summary : You are bored with all of the boys on your campus and now you want the new toy except...the new toy doesn't want you

Warnings: Jungkook hates reader at the beginning 😭😭😭, Jungkook is an asshole to her, reader and her friends are low-key mean girls, reader and her friends objectify Jungkook a lot (red flag right there), reader is kind of the s word, casual slutshaming, angst (but it's like very tolerable), SMUT [MASTURBATION (Male, ORAL REC. (Both male and female), Fingering, JUNGKOOK'S DICK NEEDS A WARNING BY ITSELF (spoiler alert: ITS BIG AND OC's OBSESSED), Protected sex (be responsible kids)], FLUFFFFFF.

A/n: OMG.... It has been a while. Honestly work was so hard this past year and on top of everything i went through a very bad break up due to which I wasn't really in the mood of writing anymore ( Also why I kinda half assed it a little, Im very sorry). But now that we are back again I really hope you enjoy it guys. It was initially going to be 30 k words but due to the above mentioned things I could only reach 21 k but I still hope I won't disappoint you guys. Anyways, happy reading.

*******

'Why did you agree to this?' you asked yourself once again as you stared at the boy sitting opposite you, nervously stumbling over his words. You looked at him with a bored expression.

Let’s make one thing clear: you have a policy of not dating. The only reason you agreed to this date was simple—who would turn down free food, right? Plus, the boy was somewhat easy on the eyes. However, after listening to him struggle to tell a story for the last half-hour, you were instantly reminded why you avoid dates altogether: they can be incredibly boring.

'Oh God, fucking and dumping is so much easier than enduring this.' You don’t even understand how they get the impression that you're looking for anything more than just sex. From the start, you’ve always been clear about your intentions—letting them know that you're only interested in a physical relationship with no strings attached. At first, they all agree, but eventually, they start pushing for more, asking for just one date, as if that would change your mind.

"Could you at least pretend to look interested?" he snaps suddenly, his irritation showing at your impolite demeanor.

"Well, I'm not."

"Then why did you say yes to this?"

"Because you were practically begging me to, and I was just feeling a bit hungry, dude," you retorted, leaning back in the chair and crossing your arms. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, it’s not you, okay? I just don’t do dates... What was your name again?"

"How could you not remember my name? We had sex this morning!" He looked hurt, but it's not your fault, you were drunk last night when you met him at the frat party.

"And did you hear me say your name once?" you asked with a raised eyebrow .

"You're a bitch." He exclaimed, getting up to rush out of the cafe.

"At least pay for the pancakes!" you called after him but he ignored you and ran away. 'What a little bitch.' You sighed throwing some bills on the table and got up to leave as well.

Let’s make one more thing clear: you loved sex. It was ironic, really, considering you were a virgin when you first started college. But after getting your heart broken by your boyfriend during the second semester, you realized the only good thing that came out of relationships with men was sex.

You have sworn off dating but that didn't mean you were going to give up on having sex too. If guys could do it without any judgment, you saw no reason why you couldn't as well. As a result, you gained a reputation as the infamous "fuckgirl" of your college.

*******

"So? I heard your recent boy toy has been telling everyone that you suck at giving head." Jimin, your best friend of 3 years said. Jimin was the only guy you have stayed friends with after having sex. Sex with Jimin was good, so good that you guys became fuck buddies for a few months in fourth sem. However you had to stop having sex when he started seeing a girl regularly and then you didn't go back even after they broke up, You both decided that you liked your dynamic better as best friends.

"As if I would let that dick anywhere near my mouth." You roll your eyes, taking a seat next to him at the far end of the classroom. It was frustrating to see guys act like this after facing rejection. "Honestly, who cares? Everyone knows that's not true." you remarked, dismissing the behavior with a hint of exasperation.

"I don't know, you were kinda awful."

"Hey, I take offence. I was the best sex you've ever had and you're a lucky bastard to even get a taste of this." You said pointing at your own body.

"I'm kidding. He's probably just salty that he wasn't the one to change you for the better and be your awakening."

After several minutes of silence, with only the voice of Mr. Aitken filling the air, you returned to the previous subject. "I don't get it, I mean what part of 'I only want to have sex' is so hard to understand?"

"I don't know, bro. You should do what I do, leave before they wake up and block them from every social media platform."

"Oh what a great person."

"Says the one that has fucked almost half the college?"

You gasped at his sudden dig and slapped his arm. "You're a bigger slut than I am, bitch. Anyways, I'm done with college boys."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they're so immature. I just want someone who would understand the depth of casual sex."

"You sure you're not only saying that because you've now slept with all the boys in our campus?"

"Shut up. My body count is still very modest. And I'm serious, I'm not sleeping with anymore college boys."

"As if on cue, Mr. Aitken's lecture was interrupted by the creaking sound of the large lecture hall door swinging open. In walked a boy with fluffy hair and clothes that seemed too big for him, drawing everyone's attention."

"I'm so sorry for interrupting you. Is this Ancient Mesopotamia with Mr. Fergus Aitken?" the boy asked in a voice so low that, if it hadn't been so silent in the class, you wouldn't have been able to hear it.

"Yes, it is. Now hurry up and take your seat; you're wasting my time," the old man grumbled, prompting the boy to rush and nervously find a place to sit. You observed him with curiosity as he settled into the only available seat, which happened to be in the third row, directly in front of you.

From the little you could see of his face, you certainly liked what you saw. He seemed younger than you, or maybe it was his clothing style and demeanor that gave off that impression. There was an aura of innocence and cuteness about him that caught your attention. If it weren't for the classroom setting, you would have already approached him.

While you had no reservations sleeping with any attractive man, Jimin always insisted that you have a type. He believed you had a soft spot for spoiling cute and innocent boys. Boys who seemed inexperienced in the field, boys you could teach, boys who looked like they've never seen pussy in their life, boys like him.

Your best friend seemed to have caught on to the expression on your face, and with a knowing smirk, he nudged you playfully.

"I thought you said you were done with college boys."

"That was before I knew someone this cute goes here. Who the hell is he?" you asked, genuinely curious about the boy who had just walked in.

"Why do you think I know everyone in this college?"

"Because you're a gossip girl."

"You don't complain when I give you the gossips."

"I'm sorry, is my lecture interrupting your conversation, Mr. Park, Ms. __?" a thickly accented voice interjected, breaking your conversation with Jimin. You glanced up and noticed that all eyes, including those of the new boy, were on you. This time, you got a full view of his face, and you were taken aback by his beauty. His big doe eyes gazed back at you, his lips set in a natural pout, and his fluffy hair, partially restrained by a black bandana, almost concealed his stunning features. To call him merely pretty would be disrespectful; he was absolutely gorgeous.

"No, sir. I was actually just clearing her doubt about King Shu-Sin." Jimin said and you nodded along.

"Well, that's unfortunate, given that topic ended last week and we're on Assyrian civilization." You fought the chuckle that almost escaped you as Jimin's face reddened in embarrassment.

"You see, I know that, but-"

"If you want to talk, just get out of my class." Mr. Aitken's stern words snapped you back to reality as he resumed his lecture. Despite the urge to leave, you knew you couldn't afford to miss any more classes, given that your attendance was already lagging behind. Moreover, there was the intrigue of the new boy who had captured your interest recently. So, you stayed put, trying to focus on the lecture, though your mind kept drifting back to the presence of the boy in front of you.

After what felt like an eternity, but was only an excruciating 40 minutes, the lecture finally came to an end. Without waiting for Jimin, you promptly stood up from your seat, excited that you finally had the opportunity to approach the boy. Your eyes scanned the room for your new object of interest. Among the sea of students, his fluffy head was not too difficult to spot as he made his way toward the exit. However, navigating through the crowd of more than 200 students, all eager to leave Mr. Aitken's apparently popular class, proved to be quite challenging and frustrating.

"Shit!" You exclaimed when you finally got out of the class but couldn't get a sight of him. 'How is he so fast?'

"You know you should start paying me for this." Came the voice of your friend from beside you as he held out your bag which you had left behind in a rush.

"Bet you've said that before."

********

"Guess who has a new crush!" Jimin exclaimed the moment both of you stepped into the café where you and your friends usually hung out. And by hung out, you meant practically lived.

"Shut up, it's not a crush," you defended yourself, settling down on the couch and playfully nudging your friend with your butt to make some space for yourself.

"Sure. It's not a crush." Jimin mocked.

"Wait, I wanna know. Who is it?" Riley exclaimed excitedly, leaving her boyfriend Hobi's lap to move closer to you, eager to hear all the details.

"It's not a crush or anything. Jimin loves to overreact. It's just this guy I noticed in class today. It was his first time with Mr. Aitken; otherwise, I think I would have noticed him before. He's just really cute, that's all."

"Wait cute as in 'charming-flirty cute' or cute as in 'you could spread him on a toast and eat' cute." Jennie chipped in on your conversation.

"Knowing her, I bet it's the latter." Said Hoseok.

"I'm not answering that." You said as the waitress, Robin, came with your usual coffee order and you thanked her with a smile.

Amidst the conversation, you couldn't help but notice that Jay, one of your friends, had been unusually quiet the whole time. Before you could ask him what happened, he got up to leave.

"I'm gonna go smoke some weed. You wanna come?" Jay asked you, and you declined with a shake of your head. As soon as he was out of earshot, your other friends burst into laughter, amused by the situation.

"Oh he wishes you'd cum."

"Guys please. He'll get over it." You defended the guy even though you were quite sure he wouldn't get over it soon.

"He better, it's getting pathetic." Said Riley.

Jay had been harboring a crush on you for over a year now. He had asked you out twice in the past month, but you turned him down, saying you don't fuck with friends.

As you engaged in another conversation, you heard the bell on the front door ring, but you didn't pay much attention to it initially—at least not until Jimin burst out with wide eyes.

"That's him, that's him. That's her new crush!" All of you turned around to see the boy standing at the café entrance, looking around with his wide doe eyes as if he were looking for someone.

You were never one to get enchanted by someone very easily. It hadn't happened even once since you got to college—at least, not until this boy. There was something about him that captivated you effortlessly.

It definitely wasn't love at first sight, though. Your experiences had taught you that you were somewhat incapable of feeling love in the traditional sense. You just couldn't. But would you admit that you were attracted to him? Yes, you were undeniably and very much attracted to him.

"Oh he's a cutie."

"Him?" You turned around at Jennie's words as she shook her head.

"You know him?" You asked.

"No I don't know him. I know of him." You felt like you've hit a jackpot. Not you'd know at least something about him when you approach him. "You can't fuck him. You know Namjoon's friend Jeon Wonwoo?"

"If by 'know' you mean 'slept with'? Then yes."

"That's Jeon Jungkook, his brother."

"No way. What?"

"Yeah, and Wonwoo hates you so much. I'm pretty sure his brother hasn't heard good things about you."

"But maybe he doesn't know her," Jimin said "Maybe Wonwoo hasn't told him about her. I mean who likes to brag about getting dumped?"

"Yeah, I'm with Jennie here," Riley said and you raised an eyebrow, "Not because he's Wonwoo's brother or something but because, look at him. He looks like you'd break him."

"No, I won't. Why do you guys always act like I'm some man-eating witch?" you retorted, feeling defensive and exasperated at your friends' judgmental reactions.

"Babe, you know that's not what she means. You know guys like him can never handle a woman who's comfortable in her sexuality." Riley nodded along at Jennie's words.

"You never know. For all we know he could be like...a freak in the sheets."

"Really? Him?" You followed Hosoek's gaze to see the boy in question sitting on a barstool and sipping on pink Boba tea. His lips made a small pout around the head of the straw.

"He's cuuute." Riley cooed.

"And you have a boyfriend." Hobi reminded her and she pecked his lips in assurance.

"You know what? Go for it," said Jennie with a smile. "Fuck Wonwoo, in fact I'll ask Namjoon some details about him." You squealed and kissed Jennie on the cheek with a big smacking sound.

******

It seemed like you were experiencing the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, because lately, Jungkook had been popping up everywhere—in your classes, at the café, and anywhere you hung out on campus. It had been over a week since you first noticed him, but you were yet to approach him. It wasn't that you were nervous or anything, no, far from it; you were just looking for a good opportunity to pounce.

He always rushed out of classes as if he had to attend to surgery or something, or he was always with his two guy friends, who looked like they'd have a seizure if they came in contact with a woman. It's not that you were nervous about asking him out in front of his friends; you just weren't sure if he wanted to be asked out in front of them.

Through Jennie (read: Namjoon), you managed to gather some information about Jungkook. He was a third-year student, majoring in chemistry, and 22 years old—he was a year younger than you and all your friends.

Right now you were fooling around with one of the boys in class at another one of your hookup spots. It was just meant to be a quick exchange of weed when Dongmin suggested you should make out since you were already in the sacred spot and you were like why not.

You and Dongmin have been hooking up for quite some time now. While you don't usually sleep with a man twice, Dongmin was quite good at what he does.

You don't realize when his hand slipped into your panties but you certainly weren't complaining.

As you were in the middle of your intense make-out sesh, a loud thud disturbed your encounter, leaving you irritated and eager to shoo away whoever had intruded. When you turned around to address the interruption, your voice caught in your throat and all the irritation left your body when you found yourself face to face with the familiar pair of wide, doe eyes.

It was none other than Jeon Jungkook, the same boy you've been trying to get alone with for the past week but had no luck. The same boy you've been lusting over just saw you with another man, his hand down your panties.

"I'm- I'm sorry... I got lost- I'll just... Leave." Jungkook hurriedly picked up his books from the ground and rushed to get out of there.

Before you knew it, you were pushing away the guy in front of you and without any explanation to him you rushed after Jungkook.

"Hey, wait," you called after him and he froze on the spot. When you finally approached him, you gave him a sweet smile.

"I-I-said I'm sorry."

"Oh no, it's ok. You just said you're lost?" Jungkook looked at you in confusion. Did you actually just leave your make out session to ask him that?

"Umm... yeah, I recently started having classes in this sector, and I was... looking for Abnormal Psych with Mr. Hastings."

"I know where that class is, come I'll walk you."

"It's not necessary," Jungkook said, looking at the ground to avoid making eye contact.

"I insist. By the way I'm," you offered him your hand which he looked at hesitantly for a few seconds but didn't shake. You were a little hurt but didn't show it in your face "And you are?"

"Jeon Jungkook." His voice was lower than expected.

"Cute name. Come on Jeon Jungkook, I'll take you to your psych class." You offered once again and started walking without waiting for his answer.

Jungkook had half a mind to escape from the situation and hide. For all he knew, you could be luring him somewhere for your friends to bully him. Here's the thing: Jungkook couldn’t be bothered enough to indulge in college drama, but he also wasn’t living under a rock to not know who you were. To say that you were infamous around the whole campus would be an understatement.

He had heard many things about you and your little group of friends—from his brother, his friends, and even strangers—and none of it was good. If so many people had the same negative opinion about you, he couldn't help but believe that there might be some truth to it.

Jungkook could never comprehend why people still engaged with you if you were such an awful person with such an unpleasant personality. Why did they give you all the attention you so clearly wanted? Why not just ignore you and go on their merry way?

When he first saw you, though, he understood why. You were drop-dead gorgeous, and you carried yourself like you knew it. With just a look at you, he could tell that you were a bad influence, and he promised himself never to associate with you or any of your friends. He believed that being drawn into your circle would only lead to trouble.

"I think I've seen you somewhere." Jungkook thought, of course you don't remember him even after crossing paths several times. He doesn't think of himself as a memorable face anyway. "Wait, do we have any classes together?"

"A couple."

"Oh, right! You're in Mr. Aitken's Mesopotamian history class, aren't you?" Jungkook simply nodded in response. You took the opportunity to prolong the conversation, purposely opting for the longer route to the psychology building.

"Yes." He mumbled, not saying a single word more than he needs to answer you.

"Hey by the way I have psych too, but its with Mrs. Fields." You said, happy to find another common ground with him. "Is psych your major?"

"No. It's Chemistry."

You attempted to lighten the atmosphere with a playful comment, saying, "You definitely look like someone who'd take chemistry." But instead of taking it lightly, Jungkook seemed a bit offended by your remark.

"What does that mean?"

"You know, you look smart," you complimented, unaware that he was misinterpreting everything. All Jungkook heard was the possible hidden meaning behind your words. You were definitely calling him a nerd. And even if you were right, you had no right to say that.

You had no idea what to make of Jungkook's expression. It was the first time you'd miserably failed at flirting with a guy. Usually, by this point in the conversation, they'd be eating out of your hand, but Jungkook looked unaffected by your charms. He was looking anywhere but at you, avoiding eye contact at all costs.

"Are you always this quiet?" You asked.

"I only talk to my friends." His answer was short and simple.

You finally reached in front of Mr. Hastings class and you suddenly felt a pang in your heart that your time was up with him.

"Here, it's your class."

Seeing the lecture hall door labeled 'GC24' and noticing the same numbers on the slip, Jungkook felt a sense of relief wash over him. He silently thanked his luck, relieved that you hadn't taken him somewhere with ill intentions to bully him, as he had initially thought.

"Thanks," Jungkook mumbled as he reached for the door handle, preparing to enter the lecture hall. Before he could step inside, your hand on his arm halted him. Your touch surprised him, and he turned to look at you with curiosity, unsure of what you might say or do next.

"Do you want to get coffee sometime?" You asked, looking up at him with a smile.

Jungkook panicked at your question. You wanted to have coffee with him? You wanted to have coffee with him? But why? Probably so that your little posse of friends can make fun of him.

"No thanks." Jungkook's rejection caught you off guard, and it was an unfamiliar feeling to be on the receiving end of such a response. Doubts crept into your mind as you wondered if he had misunderstood you or if there had been some miscommunication between you two.

"No, I'm asking you out on a date."

"I- I know," He said, "I don't want to."

Feeling beyond shock the only thing that left your mouth was "Why?"

"I don't date girls like you." And with that he quickly went inside the lecture room leaving a very shocked you outside.

*******

"Maybe he's gay," Jimin suggests passing you the rolled joint and you took it gladly. "And by 'girls like you' he meant girls in general."

"No, no, I'm pretty sure he meant girls like me. I'm sure, that idiot brother of his has said something about me." You said passing back the joint. "And now he thinks I'm a slut or something."

"I mean, where's the lie?" You could tell that Jay was pretty high right now, he only settles to throw mean comments at you when he's high. It was his own way of releasing his frustration and you never mind him.

"Shut up, Jay, before I kick you in the teeth." Jimin threatened him in your defense and you don't doubt that he would actually do it if needed.

"Babe, you have never cared what people think about you, why start now?" Jennie said as she lied down on the grass.

"I don't know, I still don't care what other people think but-"

"You know what? He was completely out of line to say that to you." Riley said and you shook your head.

"I guess if roles were reversed I wouldn't go out with me either. I don't really have the reputation of Mother Teresa on this campus."

"So what you gonna do now?"

"I say move on and fuck our TA Mark, he's like, crazy hot."

"I think I know what I'm gonna do."

*******

"The only reason I agreed to take psych was because we were taking it together. Now you want to switch to that old cranky man?" Jimin complained as you sat in the office to fill the forms to change classes.

"You are welcome to not join me."

"If you think that I can endure a lecture without you, then you're wrong."

"I know." You giggled kissing his cheek.

"Hmm 'reason', I wonder what I should write," Jimin mocked as he stared at the form and then you, "'My crazy best friend is obsessing over a nerd who clearly doesn't give two fucks about her'."

"Your crazy best friend wouldn't mind telling your hookups that you once had gonorrhea."

"I told you that in confidence." As the two of you continued to bicker you heard someone clear their throat and instantly looked up to see a woman in her late 40s, you've seen countless times but don't recall the name of.

"If you are done with the forms, you can give them to me,"

"Just a moment," you said with a smile as you proceeded to fill out the rest of the form. She shook her head as she looked you up and down, probably appalled by your scantily covered body in a lilac bralette that exposed the better part of your chest and midriff, and a white skirt so short that if you bent over, your ass could be seen. She took a few seconds to judge you and eventually returned to her desk.

"Did you sleep with her?" You asked in a hushed tone.

"What?! No, she's like... ancient."

Once you submitted the forms to Mrs.—shit, you forgot her name again—you made your way to the history building. It was almost time for Mr. Aitken's class. Although you typically wouldn't attend any class two days in a row, your newfound motivation had recently changed your mindset.

"Can we skip it today? Let's just go, smoke some weed, I got really good stuff from Taehyung."

"No, we are very behind on attendance."

"What are you talking about, we can still skip three more classes."

"No, Jimin."

"Is this about Jungkook again?" He sighed after reading your expression. "What is up with you? You've never put this much effort into fucking a guy."

"I know. He's just, interesting. And I want to put effort."

Upon entering the crowded lecture hall, almost every seat was occupied, and only a few vacant spots remained. While Jimin searched for a place to sit, your attention was captured by one person only—Jeon Jungkook—who was currently engrossed in scribbling something in his notebook. He was wearing glasses today, and it made him even more adorable than usual. All you wanted to do was drag him away from the class and kiss him.

As you heard your name being called, you turned to find a group of boys gathered around an empty seat, all of them gesturing toward it, signaling that the seat was available for you.

"Sit here, the view's perfect from here." You rolled your eyes and ignored them, walking up to the only boy you're interested in right now.

"In your dreams, Jared." You heard one of the boys say.

When you reached your destination, the entire class fell into silence, their eyes wide and curious as they watched you stand in front of Jungkook in the front row. But it seemed that Jeon Jungkook was completely absorbed in whatever he was scribbling in his notebook, paying no attention to you or the situation.

"Hey," when Jungkook lift his head to see who was talking to him his eyes widened. He was definitely not expecting to have a encounter with you two days in a row.

When you had asked Jungkook out (and he had said no), he believed that you did it merely as a joke, intending to mock him in front of your friends. What else would make someone like you ask someone like him out? You surely don't have any shortage of people falling at your feet, so that had to be the only reason why you asked him out, right?

When Jungkook rejected you, he was sure that would be the last of your encounters. He planned to make sure he never crossed your path again, which is why he deliberately sat in the front row today, knowing you and your friend always occupied the seats at the back.

Since yesterday, Jungkook couldn’t get you out of his mind. He despised you; he despised people like you—people who seemed to believe they had the authority to toy with others simply because of their popularity. On top of that, the negative things he had heard about you from his brother only added to the bad image you already had. According to everyone, you were the meanest girl in the whole college, and he just wished he could put you in your place.

He hated the way you smiled at him right now, so innocent, as if you weren’t the person people said you were. He believed your smile was fake, a mere façade to conceal your true intentions. Your ego must have been wounded by getting rejected by him of all people, and now you probably wanted revenge or something.

Undeterred by Jungkook's lack of response to your greeting, you pressed on and asked, "Is this seat taken?" You pointed to the seat beside him, even though it was clearly occupied by another girl, who looked alarmed by your question.

"Is it, sweetie?" Your next question wasn't to him but the girl, who just looked panicked and taken aback that you're even talking to her.

"N-No… You can sit here, __." The girl stammered nervously, quickly giving up her seat for you.

'Who do you think you are?' Jungkook wanted to snap at you very badly but looking at all your fans around the hall who were already glaring daggers at him, he stops himself.

"Thanks," you smiled sweetly at the girl and proceeded to sit in the seat. "Scooch," you told Jungkook, and he did so without saying anything. You then patted the seat on your other side, prompting your friend to come forward and take that seat, though not without rolling his eyes first.

As soon as you sat beside him, he caught a whiff of your scent. It was a very fruity smell, a mix of grapefruit and fresh oranges. You smelled rich, and it suited your personality very well.

Jungkook thanked the whole universe when Mr. Aitken finally walked in and started his lecture. Now he’d just have to get through this one hour somehow, by ignoring your presence. Jungkook thought you wouldn’t try to mess with him during the class, but boy, was he wrong.

"So? What happened yesterday? Why'd you run away?" You leaned closer to him and asked in a hushed tone. He tried to ignore you and moved closer to the boy next to him.

"Are you ignoring me, Jungkook?"

"Please, let me focus on the lecture." He says before noting down something in his notebook.

"Oh, look at you. You take notes, such a good boy." You giggled, and if it had been anyone else, Jungkook would admit that sound was incredibly cute. But on you, it was nothing but annoying. Once again, you were mocking him for being a nerd. "So? Did you have time to think about it? You wanna go out for coffee?" You asked, batting your eyelashes at him, but it seemed to have no effect on him.

"No. Now please let me study."

"You have pretty hands," you remarked, tracing circles on the back of his palm. But Jungkook chose to ignore your comment once again. "If you don't want to get coffee, we can go to the movies or something, or do whatever you like."

"What do you want from me?" He asked, clearly annoyed by your behavior.

"I want to get to know you." Your words made him snap his head to look at you. The way you smiled at him seemed genuine, like you actually meant what you just said. Once again, Jungkook couldn't help but notice your beauty. Your lips were a shade of pink, glossy, and looked very plump. Your eyes were big and innocent, as if you hadn't broken all of those hearts. Before he could silently compliment more of your features, he suddenly remembered what Wonwoo had said to him.

"She is the meanest girl in this college, Guk. You don't want to associate with the likes of her. She and her friends bully people to have fun."

"I don't want to do anything."

"Why?"

"I just don't."

For a second, you looked truly hurt by Jungkook, and he realized he didn’t like that look on your face for some reason.

"If you don't want to go on a date, we can just hang out here on campus," you suggested again. This time, instead of saying anything, Jungkook just sat there silently.

You didn’t look away, though. Your eyes were fixed on him with that pretty little smile on your face, and Jungkook started feeling self-conscious under your gaze.

Do you look at everyone like this? Like you're looking at him right now? Like you're scrutinizing every minute detail of his face?

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're very pretty?" Jungkook's whole body heated up as he heard your compliment, unable to control the blush that spread across his face. "Are your glasses prescribed?"

The remainder of the class passed with Jungkook doing his best to avoid your presence, while you continued shamelessly staring at him from the front row. He wondered why the professor hadn't called you out on your behavior yet. Maybe this whole college was biased toward popular kids.

As soon as the hour was up and the bell rang, Jungkook was the first to swiftly get up, eager to make his escape. The intensity of your gaze was becoming overwhelming, and he felt as though he might burst into flames if he stayed any longer. Your presence was growing more intense with every passing second.

When you saw Jungkook hastily gather his belongings and rush out of the hall without even sparing another glance at you, you grabbed your bag, which you hadn’t even bothered to open yet, and ran after him, ignoring the calls of your name behind you from Jimin. This time, thankfully, you didn’t lose him in the crowd.

When you caught up to him, Jungkook was a little surprised to see you, not expecting you to follow him even after class.

"Wha-what are you doing?"

"We're hanging out."

"I never said yes to that."

"You never said no either." You said following him. "Why are you so scared of me, Jungkook?" You sound honestly curious about the question.

"I'm-I'm not scared."

"Then do you talk to everyone like that?" Ignoring your comment, Jungkook continued walking in a familiar direction.

"Where are we going?"

"Central Library." Jungkook doesn't know why he keeps answering you, it's like the words fall out before he can stop himself.

"Why? We just had a class," you whined a little. "Let's go to that gazebo behind the literature department." Jungkook doesn't have to know that it was a popular spot for people to make out. But it seemed that your suggestion fell on deaf ears, as you found yourself following Jungkook into the library without getting any response from him.

"I want to study for the next class."

As Jungkook walked alongside you, he couldn't help but notice all the attention the two of you were receiving on your way to the library. It made him wonder if you were equally affected by the curious stares, or if you had grown so accustomed to such attention that it didn’t faze you anymore.

Not wanting to be in the spotlight any longer, Jungkook led himself—and involuntarily, you—to seats in a less conspicuous area, hidden from the prying eyes of most people. Luckily, the seats there were unoccupied, with only two girls sitting at the table across from you, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

"Do you spend all of your free time in the library?" You questioned as you settled on the seat beside him, a little too close for his liking. Your body was halfway turned toward him, and his eyes couldn't help it travel a little further south from your face. Jungkook thought that you had to know what you were doing; there was no way it was unintentional. 

Deciding to ignore your presence altogether, Jungkook took out his earphones and plugged them in his mobile, resuming the playlist he was listening to the night before. And apparently you took it as an invitation to take one of the earplugs and put it in your own ear. 

When you started humming to the music and singing somewhat broken lyrics to 'wasted years' along with Bruce Dickinson, it left Jungkook quiet stunned.

"You-you listen to heavy metal?" Jungkook asked with a raised eyebrow and you once again give him that smile of yours that seemed very dangerous.

"Sometimes, mostly Iron Maiden. Why? Can't I?"

"No-no, it's just, you- you don't seem like someone who'd... listen to heavy metal."

"Yeah? Then what do I seem like?" Your question caught him off guard and his eyes travelled to your lips. Still sitting too close to him, Jungkook could almost feel the warmth emitting from your body and it left him feeling a little strange, he couldn't decide if the feeling was the good or the bad kind.

You on the other hand almost did a victory dance in your head when you noticed his eyes lingering on your lips a little longer. You didn't make any further moves, knowing he might get uncomfortable and that's the last thing you want.

"I don't kn-know."

You heard the quiet sigh he let out in relief when your phone started buzzing in your hand, alerting you of text messages. Silently cussing at whoever it was, you turned on your phone to see the SMS.

Dooly 🐣 : Where the fuck did you go you rat?

Dooly 🐣 : You always do this bitch. And I always wait for you after class 🤡 🤡

You : I'm so sorry Chimmy. I'm with Jungkook.

Dooly 🐣 : You're with Jungkook 🥵?

You : Lol no. I wish tho 🤤🤤

You : we're just hangin in the Library 🙃.

Dooly 🐣: did your phone autocorrect sucking dick for 'hangin in the library' ? 🥴

You : stawppp bitch. We ain't doing anything. Just hangin.

Dooly : You ditched me to just hang in the library? Not cool 🙅🏻. Hope he never gives you dick.

You : Don't say that 🥹. I'm sorry.

Dooly 🐣: Whatever, dude. I'm smoking the good weed all by myself 😏😏

You : Don't say that 🥺🥺.... I'll make it up to you. Do you want a nude?

You didn't get a reply after that, so you reverted your attention to Jungkook who was already engrossed in his laptop. A smile automatically found its way to your lips when you saw how his brows furrow in concentration and his lips were already making a small pout.

You decided not to disturb him and settled for admiring him silently.

*******

'Baby, you want more?' Your voice was nothing but a sweet melody as you whispered in Jungkook's ear. Your hips are moving in a circular motion. Your cunt bare and wet as it rubbed against his cock.

All he could do in response was moan a loud 'yes' . Jungkook felt like he was in heaven. Your tits were bare and glistening with sweat as they bounced in his face. He could just reach out and suckle on them but he couldn't for some reason.

'Come on, baby boy. Touch me.' You demanded. Your voice was lower and you were moaning. 'Touch me, Jungkook. I'm all yours.' The way you said his name made him want to cum all over you. Paint you all white.

'I can't.' Jungkook said in frustration. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach out to grab those beautiful mounds of flesh. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to touch you, kiss you, please you.

'It's ok, baby boy. I can do all the work.' The second your wet pussy sank down on his hard as rock-penis was the second Jungkook lost it all. He moaned out your name like chants. Your hands tugged on his hair as you jumped up and down on his cock. Your head rolled back, revealing your beautiful neck which he just wanted to take a bite out of.

'I'm cumming, that's it, baby boy. You're about to make me cum.'

Jungkook immediately jolted awake. He was panting and his breath was irregular. What the hell did he just see in his dream?

He threw the covers off of him when he realized he was sweating excessively. His whole body was on fire and his mind couldn't comprehend the dream. He took a moment to realize that he just dreamt of you riding him. Not only were you riding him but he was making you cum as well.

Was it because you were the only thing that he had thought about the whole evening? It wasn't his fault that all he could think about was you. You were the one following him around the whole day in that little outfit that did nothing to cover your body.

Jungkook's cock was achingly hard. It was throbbing. When he looked down he could see it practically poking its way out of his sweatpants.

He has never felt this turned on before, not even when he watches his favorite genre of porn. Not even when Vivian Sue, his first girlfriend touched him down there for the first time when he was 16. But just a dream of you had him practically heaving.

He laid still for a few seconds, waiting for the boner to go down because there was no way he was going to give in to you so easily, he can't let you affect him like that. He has to fight his boner.

'Let's think of something disgusting.' Jungkook thinks to himself, 'Mingyu's feet. Yugyeom's sweaty hands. Dead dogs. Uncooked chicken. Your tits, your tits, your tits.'

Jungkook let out a groan in frustration. Fuck why was it so hard.

"Fuck it." Jungkook mumbles under his breath before taking out his throbbing cock from the restraint of his sweatpants. A soft involuntary moan left his mouth when his hands came into contact with the angry tip of his cock. He sighed in relief.

His hands slowly started rubbing his cock up and down. Thumb spreading the precum to make it easier for his fist to slide of the member.

He should think about something else, you're a person and it's unfair to masturbate to you. Specially when he has no sexual relationship with you. It was just wrong but he couldn't think of something else.

The image of your tits bouncing was still fresh in his head. The way your plump lips spread wide open to moan out his name, calling him 'baby boy'. The way you arched your back in pleasure as you rode him, your shiny pussy lips gliding up and down his cock. The images were all too clear in his head and once again you were all he could think of.

Your name left his mouth as moans and he thanked god his flat-mate was not home tonight to hear him through the thin walls. He was moaning your name pretty loudly and there was no way Caleb wouldn't hear it if he was home.

Soon enough Jungkook was pumping his cock in a rapid speed. All to the thoughts of you doing vile things in his head. He couldn't help but think if you would actually feel as good as you did in his dreams. If your pussy was actually so tight that it would suck his cock in.

When Jungkook finally came down from his high he could see white, literally and figuratively. He felt lightheaded. He had never cum so much, so fast. His seeds were all over his sheets and some on his own stomach.

He felt guilty. Disgusted in himself. Jungkook can't believe he did that to you. Specially when he promised himself and his brother that he would never let himself get attracted to you.

He hoped to god not to run in to you the next day, because there was no way he could face you now after what he just did.

*******

"How dare you not tell us, Guk?" It was Mingyu's voice behind Jungkook that stopped him from walking any further into the campus.

He turned around and looked at his best friends in confusion. They didn't look angry or upset, they just looked shocked.

He racked his brain while they walked up to him but couldn't find a reason as to why they would react like this.

"What are you guys talking about?"

"You were ASKED OUT by THE __ ___. Are you KIDDING ME?" Yugyeom partially yelled on his face and before Jungkook could answer they bombarded him with a series of questions.

"Did you fuck her? Is it true? Does she really have nipple piercings?"

"How many times did she let you hit?"

"Does she really suck at giving head?"

As Jungkook's friends questioned him, he felt an inner discomfort building up. He didn't appreciate their probing and, surprisingly moreover, he realized he didn't like the way they were talking about you. A strange urge welled up inside him, compelling him to defend you behind your back. For the first time, he felt the strong feeling of hate towards his own friends because of the way they were speaking of you.

Even though none of it was new to Jungkook, he had heard people talking about you like that before, even worse, but it never mattered to him. He never raised an eyebrow when people called you names, said crude things about you. He never called them out when they said things as if you were not a person but an object that everyone wanted to play with. But now, hearing these things made him angry at his own friends.

"Don't talk about her like that." Jungkook simply said.

"Woah... Bro you're whipped already, is her pussy that good?"

"I said don't talk about her like that. And we never did anything, I said no when she asked me out." There was a sudden pregnancy pause as both of his best friends looked at him in confusion.

"What?" Mingyu asked as if Jungkook was speaking some foreign language.

"I said I turned her down."

"I'm sorry, did you hit your head when you were a kid?" Yugyeom scoffed unbelievingly.

"What do you mean you turned her down? When she asks you out you don't say no, you bend on your knees and you ask her when and where."

"I don't have time for this, I have class." Jungkook resumed towards his path after rolling his eyes at his friends, ignoring their comments about how he has to be lying and if he really did say no to you then he's an idiot.

Jungkook doesn't understand the strange feelings swirling within him. Up until recently he was so sure that he absolutely hated you, hated everything you stand for, specially your nasty personality. Yet, the strong feeling of wanting to protect and defend you now confuses him. Why does he want to scream at his friends right now? Why does the mention of your name makes him feel jittery?

For the second time that morning Jungkook was interrupted on his way by somebody calling his name.

"Jungkook!" The voice called again but this time it was closer. He turned in just in time to see you run towards him in yet another one of your tiny outfits. Your clothes today covered more surface than the previous day, at least your denim skirt was a little longer and your breast weren't about to spill out of your little pink top with tiny strawberry prints.

"Hi." As you stood in front of him, his heart thumped against his chest. His dream from last night was still very vivid in his head. The images of you had engraved themselves in his brain and his whole body heated up with embarrassment and guilt when he remembers how he was so far gone into the lust that he shamelessly masturbated to you.

There were two similar to go cups in either of your hands, one filled with green and other with pink. Jungkook wonders what you were doing at this part of the campus when your classes were all the way over to the other side. Did you come all the way over here only to meet him? You wouldn't would you?

"Here, I got you strawberry Boba tea." You handed him the cup as you sipped on your own matcha.

"How do you-"

"I saw you order this in the café, the other day."

"What are you doing here? You don't have any classes here." He said a little shyly. The blush on his face was very evident although you might not know the reason behind it and he would like to keep it that way.

"Yeah, my classes start after 12. I thought I'll just hangout with you." You replied batting your eyelashes at him. "Won't you introduce me to your friends, Jungkook?" At your question Jungkook remembers that he was not alone right now and turned to look at the said friends, only to find them shamelessly staring at you with their mouth practically hung open as if they were meeting a celebrity or something. They both looked a little starstruck by you right now. You go to the same college as they do, what's the big deal?

"We know you." The tallest one out of the three said instantly and you raised your eyebrows at him. Jungkook wanted to scoff at their reactions.

Now you're aware that you're pretty famous (or infamous) around your college but you thought it was mostly in your department or the departments surrounding yours. You never knew you were also known all to the other side of the campus. Or perhaps Jungkook has talked about you with his friends? The thought alone made you want to giggle like a stupid teenager.

"You do?" You asked with a confused smile.

"Yeah we follow you on Instagram, I'm Yugyeom by the way."

"I'm Mingyu, we're Jungkook's friends."

"Oh, Hi. Nice to meet you guys." You said in that sweet voice of yours that Jungkook finds really obnoxious.

"Jungkook has class right now, if you want, you can hangout with us?" Mingyu suggested with a shy smile and before you could answer you felt a tug in your hand.

"It's fine guys, she has to get back to her department." With that Jungkook was dragging you out of there and you waved goodbye to his friends.

"What happened?" You asked with a little smirk as the boy gently dragged you along. You wonder if there was a chance that Jungkook was suddenly jealous of you talking to his friends.

In Jungkook's head he was doing you a favour. There was no way in hell he was going to let you alone with his friends after he just heard the way they talked about you. He was aware that you were very much capable of protecting or defending yourself. But just the thought of you spending time with his friends and them taking it as a signal sends chills down his spine.

"Jungkook, stop." He did as he was told and released your hand. "What happened? Why do you look mad?"

There's no need for you to know the actual reason behind why he's mad.

"Why did you come here?"

"I thought we could hang out."

"You don't have to. And you certainly don't have to bring me this." He said holding up the cup of pink bubble tea.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want anything to do with you."

"Are we seriously back to square one? I thought we bonded yesterday."

"I don't know what- what made you think that."

"I promise I won't bother you. Please, if I annoy you, you can tell me and I'll go away." Jungkook sighed at your proposal but didn't say anything and started walking towards his class. You happily took that as a hint to follow him.

*******

"Oh look, it's the girl who has given up all her dignity for a boy."

"Shut up, Jimin." you said as you sat down at the your usual spot, in the café beside your best friend.

"No, you don't get to be mad at me. I am mad at you. You've been ditching me all week."

"I'm sorry." Jimin rolled his eyes at your apology, mostly because it didn't seem sincere.

Thankfully the café this time of the day always seem pretty empty because crowd was the last thing you needed right now, it was only occupied by your group and some other people.

Even half of your group was missing, only Jimin and Hobi were there when you came in.

"You're still chasing that Jungkook guy?" Hosoek asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." It was you best friend who had decided to answer on behalf of you.

"Wow, I've never seen you this desperate for dick."

"It's not just about that, Ok?" You snapped. "I mean, I don't even care if I don't get to have sex with him. I just... I don't know what it is, I guess I like him or something."

Both your friends look astound at your revelation. In fact you yourself was kind of amazed at what you said, never realizing it before the words left your mouth.

The last time you had romantic feelings for someone, he broke your heart and moved away from the city. Saying that he never intended to continue this relationship after graduating. That's why you dreaded having any sort of romantic relationship after that. The heartbreak was just too much and so not worth it.

You promised yourself that you'll only stick to sexual relationships from now on, no strings attached, that's until Jungkook came along. At first you thought it was just because he said no to you and you took it as a challenge. But that was not it. He made you feel different, he made you want to spend time with him even if you don't get any orgasms out of it.

That day when you spent time with him in the library you realized you liked looking at Jungkook's face. It gives you joy, no conversations need to take place and you would still enjoy his company.

Jimin was instantly by your side, forgetting the fact that he was supposedly mad at you. "Oh my god, you actually like him. That's the face you made when you told me about Yoongi."

"Really?"

"Wait, I thought we weren't suppose to talk about him."

"You can talk about him, Hobi. I've moved on," You assured your other friend before getting back to the previous topic. "And I guess I do, I just spent an hour with him in his chemistry lecture and I actually didn't mind because I got to be with him."

"Oh my god this is huge."

"No, its not that huge."

"It is kinda huge." You rolled your eyes before steeling Hoseok's muffin.

"Anyway, are you still mad at me?"

"NO. I thought you were ditching for dick, I didn't know you were in love with him." Jimin said with a smile.

"Shut up, I'm not in love."

The next five minutes went by you trying to convince your best friends that you're not in love and them teasing you about it.

"Hey guys, what are you talking about?"

"Joon." you instantly stood up to greet your friend with a tight hug. "Where's Jennie?"

"In class, we're supposed to meet here." he replied sitting in the empty chair beside the couch.

"We were talking about her new crush." said Hoseok making you glare at him.

"Oh right, Jennie told me about Jungkook."

"Of course she did, when has she ever been able to shut her mouth."

"In her defense, she kept her mouth shut for three whole days after she found out."

You met Namjoon through Yoongi, they were both in the swim team and as the girlfriend of the captain you became a part of their friend group by default. Namjoon was the sweetest jock you have ever seen. Even after you and Yoongi broke up Namjoon stayed friends with you, and you heard through his friends that he even scolded Yoongi for you. One day when you saw Namjoon drooling over one of your best friends you introduced them both and one year later they're still dating.

"Are you guys going to Rick Miller party this weekend?"

"I don't know. They never has the good boo-" Jimin started but a light bulb went off in your head.

"Yes we are." You replied.

"We are?" Jimin asked you'

"Yes, now Namjoon," you started turning to face your friend with glinting eyes. "I heard you're still friends with Won-woo."

"Oh no, I don't like where you're going with this." Namjoon shook his head.

"Just hear me out."

"OK fine. Yes we're still friends."

"Then you could convince him to bring Jungkook to the party?"

"I don't know, __, I don't think I should meddle, and if he finds-"

"Joonie, please?" You gave him the puppy eyes that works on almost everyone, key word- almost. "Don't forget I introduced you to your pretty girlfriend."

"Are you gonna hang that over my head forever?"

"Pretty much."

"What are you gonna do anyway? And I don't know if you can tell but Kook's not really the party type of guy."

"I don't know, I haven't figured that yet. But if he sees me outside of college then maybe he'll actually talk to me." It seemed that your words didn't convince any of your friends. "Look just please try, I'll owe you one."

"Fine. But I can't promise anything."

*******

Jungkook's eyes goes back and forth from the mobile in his hand and to the thick white liquidy substance all over his sheets.

The picture displayed on his phone was one of your recent pictures you've uploaded on Instagram. It was a picture of you laying on a beach towel, sunbathing, it was nothing scandalous, just a simple picture of you in a bathing suit.

He closes his eyes out of shame. This was the third day in a row that Jungkook had masturbated to you and he has never felt so ashamed of himself, he felt like he was objectifying you and it was very wrong.

He quickly takes a Kleenex from the nightstand and wipes himself clean. It wasn't like he hadn't tried other things, he had. He tried watching porn, hentai, anything that would keep him going but unfortunately it was only you that made him hard anymore.

Jungkook then carefully tucks his still sensitive cock back in his sweatpants and laid back down in his bed. It was 10:00 on a Saturday morning and he was just so glad that at least he wouldn't have to face you for two days. He was going to spend these two days doing anything that would get his mind off you.

Your picture was still open on the screen of his phone and it compelled him to scroll further. It seemed that you were pretty popular on Instagram, and you didn't even post anything other than photos of yourself and sometimes your friends.

His thumb stopped scrolling when it came across a particular selfie. You were making a cute face at the camera and you were clearly sitting on a guy's lap whose face could not be seen. His face was hidden in the crook of your neck, only silver hair visible. Jungkook's eyes narrowed in on the picture, taking notice of every single detail. Was it somebody you dated in the past? Or was it just one of your friends? You do seem awfully close to your friends.

He felt a weird pang in his chest looking at the picture. It wasn't an old picture at least it was uploaded recently, only 6 days ago to be exact. And if you were already seeing someone why would you approach him and ask him out on a date?

Overwhelmed by his sudden feelings, Jungkook shut his phone and threw it against his mattress. C'mon JK, you need to stop thinking about her.

To pull him out of his thoughts filled with you, the doorbell of his apartment rang twice. Jungkook waited on his bed thinking his roommate could open the door, it's not like he himself gets any visitors anyway.

The doorbell rang again and he stood up from his bed, a little annoyed because he was planning to spend a few more hours in bed.

"Hyung?" The sight of Wonwoo behind the door surprised Jungkook a little. His brother has visited his apartment only twice, once when he was looking for an apartment and once when he helped him move in, that's it. So seeing him on his doorstep all of a sudden surprised him.

"Hey, Guk. What's up?" Jungkook opens the door wide enough to welcome him in and shuts the door behind them. There was not much age difference between the two Jeons, Wonwoo was only a little more than a year older than Jungkook. But Wonwoo always treated Jungkook like a kid, and not in a good way. At first it was endearing when Jungkook was actually a kid, but now it was just annoying.

"What are you doing here, Hyung?"

"Yah, can't I visit my brother? Eomma called this morning, she said you're not picking up her calls," Oh right, there was a reason Jungkook wasn't picking up his mother's calls and he wasn't proud of it. "I was around here so I thought I'd see what you're up to."

"Yeah, I was going to call her back. I was doing... something." At the suspicious raised eyebrow given to him by his brother he came up with an better excuse. "Working out. I was working out." Wonwoo doesn't need to know that he just spent an entire morning dreaming of you and touching himself.

"Working out huh? I see you've already built some muscles, little Kookie." There it was again, the condescending tone and the 'little Kookie' like he was some damn kid learning how to ride a bike.

"Is there something else you want, Hyung?" Jungkook asked politely. Yes Jungkook hated him time to time but it was still his older brother and he respected him.

"Nah, now that I know you're not dead, I can go back."

"Ok. I'll call Eomma and let her know you stopped by."

As Wonwoo was in front of the door ready to leave he stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"Hey, Gguk,"

"Yeah?"

"There's a party tonight at one of my teammates place, umm do you wanna go with me and the boys?" Jungkook was almost shocked at his question. He was always under the impression that his brother was somewhat embarrassed of his nerd younger brother, and now he wants him to come to a party with him and 'the boys'?

"What?" He asked as if the question wasn't clear to him.

"Namjoon suggested that you could do some socializing. And this party is just perfect, everyone goes every semester, even students from your department. And it's also not THAT wild."

"I don't know, Hyung. I'm not really a party person."

"I know. That's what I said. But he's right, a little socializing never hurts anyone. And if it's too much for you, you can always come back."

"I'll think about it."

"Ok, bro. Let me know whenever you change your mind."

*******

You can't recall the last instance you felt this thrilled about a college party. Yes they were fun and you got to get high and drunk with your friends and then you'd find a hot guy and sleep with him, but it was all becoming monotonous now. The same shit all the time. But this time it was different, there was a possibility that Jungkook could be there and that made you...excited?

You also can't remember the last time you went to a party and didn't get high right away.

"So what did Wonwoo say? Will he bring Jungkook?" You asked Namjoon who was sitting across from you on a chair with his girlfriends on his lap.

"Babe, its not even 11 yet, give 'em some time." Jimin said offering you the joint which you refused with a shake of your head.

You were currently sitting on Jimin's lap because you don't trust any furniture in these frat houses. God knows who has been there and done what. It has become a regular occurrence now. Whenever you went to these parties your only seat was your friend's lap, because these dresses ain't cheap.

"Wait, did you dress up all pretty for him?" asked Jennie, sipping that fruit punch that was spiked so many times with different alcohols that you were sure it was poisonous now. Instead of going for the 'hot girl' look tonight you decided to wear something that would make you look 'beautiful'.

The anticipation of Jungkook's arrival tonight was gradually diminishing. Positioned where you were, you had a clear view of the front door, yet there was no sign of Jungkook or his brother. Just as you were about to turn to Jimin to express your disappointment once more, a familiar tuft of fluffy hair caught your attention.

Your face instantly lit up at the sight of the boy. And of course Jungkook looked as cute as always if not more. You notice how he was wearing a black dress shirt and gray pants instead of his usual oversized tees and trousers.

"Should I go over right now or should I wait?" You asked your friends and they turned to look at the boy.

"I say wait at least 20 minutes. You don't wanna look desperate."

"Hobi, I've been following the guy for days. I don't think one can look any more desperate than that."

"True."

"I should go ask him for a drink."

"I'm pretty sure there's no bubble tea here." Jimin commented making the rest of the circle laugh.

"Ha ha, very funny. Suck a dick."

Jungkook looked very out of the place when you walked up to him. He didn't notice you until you were right in front of him.

"Hi, I didn't know you'd be here."

On the other hand, Jungkook wasn't particularly surprised to find you here. In fact, while getting ready, he had imagined the possibility of encountering you at least twenty times, playing out scenarios in his head about how he would react and what he would say. His gaze subtly traced over your figure, clad in a white glittery dress with a sweetheart neckline.

"You look handsome," you complimented him, noting the slight flush that colored his cheeks. It was the first time you had really taken notice of his muscular arms. Those t-shirts he typically wore to college certainly didn't do justice to his physique at all.

'You-You look pretty, as well."

"You think so?" you asked, giggling. You've always been aware that you're quite attractive; confidence has always been your strong suit. However, hearing the words coming from Jungkook—the boy who had never even acknowledged you—gave you a whole new sense of conviction.

"Yes."

"Thanks. Are you here with someone?"

"Umm, yes, my- my brother was suppose to meet me here."

"Maybe I can wait with you until you find him?"

"No, its ok. You should get back to your friends."

"No, please. Let me?" Jungkook couldn't quite pinpoint the reason—whether it was the fact that you were meeting outside of college, the way you looked, or the guilt that Jungkook couldn't shake off—but when you asked with that look on your face, he couldn't say no. "Okay, Kook, let's go get you some drinks," you said, taking the lead.

As you held his hand and pulled him further inside the house, it sent shivers throughout his body. Jungkook still couldn't believe that someone like you would actually take the time to entertain him, especially right now when you could just be with your friends and enjoy your time.

"You're okay with alcohol, right?" you asked, turning to face Jungkook as you both stood in front of a large table filled with all kinds of alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks. With so many people surrounding the table, the gap between your back and his chest was practically nonexistent.

"Yeah, but. Nothing too strong."

"The fruit punch is out of question then." Jungkook looked at the big glass jar that looked too pink to be consumable. "I'm gonna make you a __ special."

"A __ special? What's that?"

"A few months ago I accidently made this cocktail and it tastes amazing. You're gonna love it." You said already looking for the ingredients.

"What's in it?"

"Mostly Pineapple juice and tequila, but there's my secret ingredient, that I've never told anyone." You said, pouring the pineapple juice in the red cup. "Its actually red-bull, but promise me you'll never tell anyone." You handed him your invention proudly and he couldn't help but smile at the evident excitement on your face.

"Ok." He said, sniffing the liquid before taking a sip.

"How is it?" Horrible, it was horrible, Jungkook has never tasted anything this bad in his entire life. But that smile on your face, Jungkook could never let down that smile on your face.

"Its good."

"Right?" You said, making a drink for yourself, well, just pouring neat vodka in a cup.

"Do you go to college parties regularly?"

"Well, the first two years I did. But then it became boring, so we only attend sometimes, when we have nothing else to do."

"This is actually my first time." he admitted and it made you smile that he was finally talking to you without stuttering.

"Yeah? What made you come to this one."

"My hyun- my brother said it would be good for me to socialize a little."

"I hope you're not regretting your decision so far."

"I'm- I'm not."

Silence enveloped both of you for the next few seconds, neither knowing what to say next. You had been so focused all this time on getting Jungkook to talk to you that you hadn't considered what you would talk about if you actually had a conversation. You and Jungkook had almost nothing in common.

Jungkook, on the other hand, remained skeptical about the whole situation. Ok, there might be a slight chance that you weren't orchestrating all of this to make fun of him with your friends and that you genuinely wanted to get to know him. But did that mean that everything he had ever heard about you was a lie? Or were you just putting up a front?

"Its really noisy in here, would you like to go to the backyard or something?" you asked in hopes of getting some alone time with the boy in front of you.

"Umm, I'm not sure, my brother would be looking for me." The entire world knows by now that Jungkook's brother will not give two damns if he got lost in this party but he's already done enough socializing for one day.

"Oh come on, Jungkook. I promise I won't try anything funny." the younger boy almost chuckled at the look on your face.

"Okay, I guess it won't hurt anyone." you did a little victory dance in your head before holding his hand in your unoccupied one and dragging him out of the now crowded house.

*******

"No way, you watch Anime?" after a few minutes of awkwardly walking around in the garden Jungkook and you finally fell into a conversation, although his sentences still don't consist of many words you counted this as a win.

"Yes, why is it so hard for you to believe that I watch anime and listen to heavy metal?"

"I don't know...y-you just don't seem like the type."

Jungkook had constructed a specific image of you in his mind based on all the things he had heard from his brother, friends, and people in general. So far, none of the things you had revealed about yourself fit into that image at all.

From everything Jungkook had heard, you didn't seem like the type of person to enjoy heavy metal or comic books, or engage in anything even remotely described as nerdy or boring. You were supposed to be this big mean girl who burned everything that came into contact with her; you weren't supposed to be approachable or relatable.

"What type do I seem like then?" You asked with genuine curiosity in your eyes, you were not offended that he dared to assume shit about you, you just wanted to see yourself from his eyes.

"Someone who would... laugh at my face if I tell her how much I love comic books."

"What? Why would I do that?" you asked with a laugh that made your eyes go small and cheeks fluffier. Jungkook swear he has not heard a prettier laughter. "You know what, if you get to-" Before you could complete your sentence you were cut off by the loud noise of your drunk 'Friend'.

"Oh, there she is," Jay stumbled on his way to you. When he reached you two you saw Jungkook visibly cringe at how much he stank of alcohol and weed.

"What do you want, Jay?" It wasn't really new for him to get crazy drunk at parties and approach you, but what really annoyed you was him interrupting the moment between you and Jungkook.

"Oh you are with the nerd." His eyes went to Jungkook who was looking at him with his doe eyes. "So did you finally have him? Are you bored yet?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jay? Leave us alone."

"Us? There is an 'us'?" he asking pointing his finger at you and Jungkook.

"Its none of your business."

"You? You seriously think you can change this slut? You fucking nerd, she's just gonna use you and throw you away like a tissue, you are nothing, literally nothing." He was now talking to Jungkook and standing too close to him for his comfort. You eyes were widening at his words.

"Jay what the fuck is wrong with you, get the fuck away from him." You had successfully pulled him enough away from Jungkook to get yourself in the middle. "I swear to god, you are going to regret this tomorrow so walk away."

"Or what? Your lap dog will come after me? Tell me do you let Jimin fuck you for all the service he does?" You were now absolutely disgusted with his words.

You looked back at Jungkook and saw him backing away, his eyes were on the ground, his face mimic the disgusted look on yours, you just don't know if it was for you or Jay.

"Jungkook, please don't listen to him, he's drunk and-"

"I-I'm, I'm just, I'm gonna head back. I'll see—" Without completing his sentence, Jungkook rushed back inside the house, presumably to leave through the front door.

"You FUCKING IDIOT, I swear to god if you ever come near me I'll fuck you up, I hate you. Do you not understand that I do not want you. Can't you get that through that thick skull of yours?" after ranting you quickly rushed after Jungkook not noticing the other man looking at you as if you just ruined his night and not the other way around.

"Jungkook stop," you called out guiding yourself through the sweaty bodies dancing and grinding and what not. "Please, just listen to me."

Taking advantage of his long legs and large steps, Jungkook was almost out of the front door and out of your sight. Just as you were about to cross the threshold, somebody threw a whole glass of fruit punch all over you.

"Oh my god, I'm sooo sorry-" You looked as the girl in front of you and if you were not in such a hurry you would bring another glass just to pour it down her head.

"It's okay." When you were out on the front yard, Jungkook was no where to be seen. You sighed in frustration, Jungkook was finally opening up to you and that rat just had to ruin-

"What happened to your dress?" Came a soft voice.

"You didn't leave yet." You smiled in relief.

"I was about to, I just- thought I should check on you first. He seemed pretty drunk."

"Look Jungkook, whatever he said, I'm very sorry about it. He shouldn't said that about you-"

"And what about you?"

"Huh?"

"He said worse things about you."

"Well... I'm pretty sure you have heard that before about me."

"I did. A lot."

"Look what he said to you was way out of line and I'm just so mad at him-"

"And why are you not mad at him for what he said about you?" His question confused you a lot.

"Because I'm used to it."

"Why?"

"I-I don't know. Jungkook, I know you are mad at what he said, but I swear to god, its not like that with you, I'm not-"

"I am, I am mad at what he said but not about me, I am mad at what he said about you and I am more mad that you let him."

"It's nothing, I don't really care."

"You should," he said calmly, "you should care, if you're really not what people say then you should stand up for yourself." with that he turned around to walk away from the house.

"Wait," he turned around. "Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."

******

Jungkook's room was cute, just like him—warm and cozy. Surprisingly, it was cleaner than what you expected a guy's room to be, except for a few pieces of clothes thrown over his gaming chair.

"Here, you can change into this?" Jungkook said handing you a big black t-shirt of his and his boxer briefs.

It was safe to say that Jungkook was completely freaking out right now. He had never had a girl at his place, and now he not only had 'any' girl but you roaming around in his room with your delicate feet in that tiny pink-stained white dress of yours.

"Can I use the shower?" you asked and he pointed to the brown door behind you.

As soon as you were behind the door he let out a loud breath that he was holding in ever since you started following him to his place.

When he was going out tonight he was only supposed to stay for 10-15 minutes and comeback to finish his paused video game. He had no intention whatsoever to bring a girl back let alone you out of all people.

Its not that Jungkook hates the idea of you in his shower, naked. Its that even the idea of it makes him all hot and bothered.

Jungkook looks back to the time 20 minutes ago, he could have booked you a cab for your own place but when you looked all innocent and helpless he couldn't help but utter those four words.

"Are you really going to leave me here like this? I am drenched."

"I live near by."

And that is how you ended up naked in his bathroom. Just a wooden door away.

Looking around his room, he quickly made sure there was no embarrassing thing left on any surface. With his shaking hands, he tidied up his room a little, stuffing everything in his closet— it was now future Jungkook's problem. However, Jungkook's immediate concern was the very visible tent in his gray pants.

Dammit, when did he get a hard on? Was it the thought of you naked in his bathroom, or was it your clearly very wet dress, or was it when you asked him if you could shower, or was it when he first saw you in this evening.

Maybe if he changed into some loose sweatpants, it wouldn't be very noticeable, so he did. Without taking a shower or cleaning himself of tonight's chaos, he quickly changed into his black sweatpants and a t-shirt similar to the one he gave you.

You couldn't believe you were inside Jungkook's shower, you personally thought that showers were a little too intimate, you have never showered at any of your hookup's place. In fact the last time you used a man's shower was when you were with Yoongi.

Now here you were in Jungkook's bathroom, looking at one of the most private parts of his life. The kind of shower gel he uses, the color of his toothbrush everything was too intimate and left you feeling giddy in your stomach. Not to mention you were wearing his clothes.

His t-shirt was too loose on you, your shoulders were tiny compared to his broad once, t-shirt was almost falling below your mid thigh whereas his hips were so petite that his boxers were a little tight on you.

You took a palm full of cold water and threw it on your face in hopes that your cheeks would cool down a little. Once you opened the door and went outside you saw Jungkook in different clothes sitting on his bed with two bowls in his hands.

When the boy looked up at you, you could see his cheeks visibly flush red. If only you could read his mind you would know how much in awe he was right now.

Jungkook had always known that you were pretty, it was no secret from the whole world, people simped after you for a reason. But right now, in his clothes, with your face bare of any makeup you were absolutely breathtakingly gorgeous.

"I- ummm... I heat up some pasta from lunch... hope you don't mind leftovers." His voice was once again too small. Like he lost all the confidence you saw back there in the party.

"No, Thank you so much. I was hungry." You said taking a seat beside him and taking the bowl from his hand. You let out a tiny moan after taking the first bite. "This is delicious, did you make this." He only nod his head in answer.

The next few minutes were spent as you two ate in silence, enjoying the meal he cooked. Your mind went back to what he said to you at the party.

"Jungkook?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you really think that I should care about what people say about me?"

"Not people. I just think that you let your friends take you for granted. A lot. If they really are your friends they wouldn't talk shit about you like that."

This is the biggest sentence you heard Jungkook saying till now, that too without stuttering. You smiled at him and he got shy again. the tip of his ears along with the apple of his cheeks started flushing.

"What?"

"Nothing, just. Ever since Yoongi and I broke up, i kind of took on that whole 'it girl' role. And I don't really care about what people say or call me and maybe that's why none my friends care either, but... it feels nice to have someone get mad on your behalf."

When Jungkook looked at your eyes and the little smile on your face he could finally see you, not the girl people describe and not the girl his brother seemed to hate so much, he could see you, he couldn't understand if you were the same person who supposedly hurt so many people and broke so many hearts.

You noticed how his eyes traveled to your lips and then back to your eyes.

"I am... You can sleep here, I-I'll just take the couch in the hall."

"Its okay, i guess... we can share a bed."

You suggestion almost made him hiccup. He is almost 23 years old and he has never shared a bed with another woman, well beside his mom and cousins obviously.

"Umm, no its okay...I can just take the couch." Truth was that Jungkook wasn't sure if he will be able to breath properly if he slept beside you.

"Come on Jungkook, I won't bite." You said while putting your hand on his shoulder, as soon as you hand touched him he jumped up from the bed as if you shocked him.

"Goodnight, if you need anything just wake me up...or whatever." With that he picked up a pillow and left the room.

*******

The next day, when Jungkook walked into his Psychology class, you were already sitting there, waving your hand at him and patting the empty seat beside you. Of course, Jimin was on your other side, looking more uninterested than ever.

Jungkook wasn't aware that you were in the same class; he had never noticed you before. He began searching for another seat to avoid being distracted by you throughout the class. However, he couldn't find any available seats that weren't at the back.

"Hi Jungkook." You said once he finally settled down beside you but received no reply from the boy and it made you frown, was he seriously going to pretend that nothing happened last night, like those few minutes of bonding were nothing.

"I recently transferred classes." You informed him about the tiny detail. "You have to help me with whatever that's been going on." you said as he silently put down his stuff beside you. He sat down without doing much to acknowledge your existence but you looked around and saw there were many vacant seats in the hall and he chose to sit beside you, so he's not completely ignoring you or anything.

"I don't understand a single thing this man is saying." you exclaimed quietly but loud enough.

"Yes, and thanks to you we are stuck here." Jimin rolled his eyes beside you.

"Can you please help me catch up after lecture?" You looked at Jungkook.

"Since when do you care about academics?" Jungkook asked while writing down whatever the old man was saying.

"Since now. Pretty please?" The boy looked at you as you batted your eyelashes and sighed.

"Fine. I don't have any other class after this, I can help you study."

You almost exclaimed loudly but then recalled how rude and unfiltered Mr. Hastings was so you sat quietly for the rest of the lecture.

Once the lecture finally ended and you saw Jungkook preparing to get out of the class, you quickly got up to follow him. "I'll see you guys at the cafe ok?" you told your best friend and without waiting for a reply ran after Jungkook.

"Where are we going?"

"To the library."

"I thought you don't have any classes after this. Neither do I. Why can't we just leave?" You whined, feeling slightly irritated by his unexpected behavior. It's not like his behavior was new—he'd been like this from the beginning. But after last night, you really thought something had shifted. You didn't just imagine everything, did you? This morning he even made you a breakfast sandwich and arranged an Uber for you.

"I like studying in the library." Of course he does!

"Let's just go to your place." You said while trying and failing to drag him with you. 'Wow, he sure is pretty strong' "Come on, Jungkook. Pleaseeeee! I hate that library, Its so silent and cold."

Jungkook bit his lips while contemplating your offer. 'God you are so irresistible' Last night Jungkook almost forgot about all the promises he made to his brother. His beliefs towards you were slowly changing, he knew you were not the monster everyone made you to be, quite the opposite actually. Still, he believed hanging with you was like walking on burning coals, he was ought to get burned.

Jungkook didn't say anything. He just let you happily drag him out of this dreadful campus. He thinks he has spent the whole night alone with you at his place without letting himself lose control, he's pretty sure he can do a few more hours.

*******

Somehow this afternoon Jungkook was much less nervous than last night. Thank god he decided to clean the whole place right after you left. You were sitting on his bed with your pretty legs under your butt as your wide eyes looked up at him.

"Do you want anything to drink?"

"Just water." He nodded and left to grab a bottle from his kitchen.

'Calm down Jungkook, you are just gonna help her study and then she's gonna leave'. Wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatshirt Jungkook reentered his room only to find you out of the cardigan that was covering you, leaving you only in a beige camisole and a pair of white shorts.

"I hope you don't mind. Your room's kinda warm"

"Its okay. Water." He handed you the bottle with almost shaky hand.

"Thanks."

"We should start, if you wanna cover all the topics before Mr. Hastings gives off assignments. He's pretty brutal while checking the papers."

For the next half and hour or so Jungkook has gone through 5 pages of his notes with you, or maybe 3; you weren't really counting. You would be lying if you said that you understood everything that came out of his pretty mouth, Psychology was not really one of the hardest subjects that you chose but he was just too pretty for you to focus on any thing besides him.

"You are not focusing." Jungkook said blatantly as you sat in front of him on his bed, giving him heart eyes while he just poured his heart to you about the schools of psychology.

"I totally am, I just listened to everything you said, and I totally agree."

"Really? Then which school emphasizes the role of unconscious conflicts, early childhood experiences, and defense mechanisms in the development of psychological disorders?"

"Ummm...the middle school?"

"NO the psychodynamic school." this was the first time you were seeing Jungkook speaking so loudly and passionately about something, and honestly it was a turn on. "Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Sorry, I promise I'll focus from now on."

"Do, you want to take a break?" You were surprised that Jungkook was the first one who suggested to take a break and not you.

"Yeah sure, What should we do?" You asked suggestively knowing very well that Jungkook will not even think about the million things that you want to do to him right now but a girl can always hope right?

"Umm, I have video games, if you wanna play? Or we can watch anime." both the options were way different from what you were hinting so you took the matters in your own hand.

"Or..." You scooched closer to the boy, "We could make out." All the oxygen from Jungkook's body left him right there. His whole face was suddenly red and hot and he had no idea if you were just joking or if you were serious.

"Y-you want to do that?"

"You don't?" Of course he did, that is all he had thought about ever since you started talking to him.

"Wh-why me?" His question made you laugh lightly.

"Jungkook. Is it not painfully obvious that I am attracted to you?" As a matter of fact you have never tried hiding that you have a crush on him, not from him, not from anybody. So you were not sure why he was so surprised by your confession.

"But why me?" It broke you heart that he was not aware of how painfully gorgeous he was.

"Because-" You moved closer and removed his iPad from his hands , practically sitting on his lap. "I think you are the most gorgeous and sweetest person I've ever met in my entire life." You slowly reached for his face with your right hand removing his glasses, testing the waters. You would never do anything that would make him even slightly uncomfortable. "And you have beautiful eyes. Is this Ok?" Jungkook's voice was caught in his throat, all he could offer you was a nod which made you giggle.

"Do you want me to continue?" The conscious side of his brain was saying no, reasoning with him, what would he tell his brother? But his body was possessed, possessed by lust and the touch of your soft hands. His hands were suddenly involuntarily reaching out for you, he was craving to touch you, hold you and finally kiss you.

"Yes, please."

"As you wish, baby boy." Your lips finally met his soft ones and he felt like he has reached euphoria. He had completely lost control over his body. His hand grabbed you by the waist as hard as he could without hurting you and pulled you onto his laps.

His heart was beating so loudly that he was scared he would go into a cardiac arrest. The first few strokes of his lips were a little awkward, considering it was not a daily occurrence for him like you but after a few soft kisses his lips found the perfect rhythm with yours.

You smiled into the kiss as he slowly gained confidence and started kissing you more fiercely. His kisses were so soft and smooth that it felt like you have been kissing him daily. Soon you felt him opening his mouth a little wider so you took the opportunity and slipped in your tongue, he tasted like strawberries and mint, reminding you of his sweet taste in beverages.

"Wow!" you exclaimed as soon as he pulled away for some air. "You are a great kisser."

"T-thank you, so are you."

"Aww don't get shy now." you said pointing at the pink hue rising up his neck and to his cheeks. "So? you want to continue or you want to go back to studying?" You asked half seriously, hoping to god he wouldn't choose the second option.

"I think you've studied enough for today."

You let out a tiny giggle before crashing your lips again on his. You took his hand and dragged it up your chest, granting him permission to touch you. his hand stayed there for a second before giving your breast a tiny squeeze, pulling out a moan from you.

It wasn't much later that you started grinding your hips against his, feeling his very prominent boner through his pants. After a few circular motion of your hips, he was a moaning mess in your hands.

His shaky hands started pulling at your top with urgency, wanting to feel more of your exposed skin. You helped him take off your top and he sat still for a moment, looking at your breast like a little kid looking at a carnival.

"You wanna touch them?" You asked, guiding his hand to the hook of your bra and he nodded very eagerly. After the little piece of cloth came off his lips didn't waste a single second before coming in contact with your nipple, sucking on it as if it had the cure of all diseases. His tongue did a fantastic job making you whimper and moan on his lap.

"Oh my god, baby, you are so good at this." you cried holding the back of his head and guiding his mouth to all the right places.

Your lips wanted to taste him again so you did and this time he was the most confident. You had no idea how his kisses improved so much in a matter of few minutes, but you were not complaining. His tongue explored every corner of your mouth and his lips sucked in yours like a candy.

It was your turn now to pull at his t-shirt until it was thrown away in another corner of his room and there was no barrier between both of your upper bodies.

You sat there for a few seconds, admiring the view. He really was gorgeous, he was lean but very muscular, you knew he was hiding something delicious under all those baggy clothes.

Your fingertips ran along the smooth honey like skin until they reached the hem of his sweatpants. You looked up at his face asking for permission. He looked a little nervous.

"I want to suck your cock, Jungkook. I promise it will feel nice." He contemplated your offer for a few seconds before finally nodding his head yes and you gave him another kiss out of joy.

You didn't waste too much time before pulling his sweatpants and briefs down his thighs. His cock spring up at your touch making you almost drool. You have had sex with a lot of men A LOT, but you swear that you have never seen a prettier dick. Or maybe it looked so pretty because of the man it was attached to.

You leaned down and left tiny kisses along his thighs making his cock angrier and darker. It was so thick that you couldn't wrap your whole hand around it. You could already imagine how good it would feel inside you.

As soon as you gave a kitten lick on the tip, Jungkook let out a loud groan.

"Ple-please."

"Please what baby?"

"Please __, do something. It feels so nice."

You let out another giggle at his desperation and decided not to torture him any further. His one hand supported him up from the bed as the other one grabbed your head and pushed it further down, making you swallow his cock until it reached the back of your throat.

His precum tasted like butter, smooth and salty. You looked up at the boy while bobbing your head up and down, his eyes were closed and mouth was hung open as he moaned your name again and again like a mantra.

Your hand wrapped around the base of his cock, what you couldn't fit in your mouth as your tongue constantly licked the head. His orgasm came without any warning, hitting your chest and face and your quickly wrapped your mouth around the tip in order to not waste any more of it. It would be such a shame to waste the cum from such a pretty cock.

You swallowed all his load and giggle when you looked at his expression. He looked like he was about to ask you to marry him.

"I'm sorry, i should have warned you." He said and you followed his eyes to the droplets of cum sitting prettily between both your breasts.

"Its ok, I like surprises." You said taking his t-shirt that he handed you to wipe his cum.

His eyes couldn't seem to look away from you. You've always been beautiful, but at this moment, you looked otherworldly. With your tousled hair and nearly bare face, he had never encountered anyone more stunning. When he kissed you this time, he was entirely confident; it was brief yet filled with intense passion.

"Teach me?" You looked at him confusingly.

"I want to do something for you, please you, make you--... I want to make you cum, teach me how to." You smiled at his request.

"Maybe some other time. You look tired right now, lets take a nap."

Some other time. You said 'some other time', does that mean it was not a one time deal with him.

He nodded at your suggestion and pulled up his sweatpants and briefs. Just as you were about to get up from his bed to give him his privacy his hand pulled you to his chest and wrapped around you tightly.

"Sleep with me?" He pleaded with a soft voice and you obliged happily.

As you slipped into slumber Jungkook couldn't help but wonder, was this post orgasm bliss that he was experiencing or did something just shift inside him? He suddenly felt anger towards his brother, towards everyone who has ever spoken ill about you.

It seemed impossible that someone so mean could be so sweet to him alone. He wanted to protect you, even though he knew he wasn’t strong enough. Still, he would do everything he could to ensure that no one ever harmed you.

******

When you woke up from your nap it was pretty dark outside Jungkook's window, you don't know how many hours you slept but it was one hell of a sleep.

Jungkook was still sound asleep, his head on your chest and arms wrapped around your waist. You smiled to your self once you heard him snore. 'wow even he snores so prettily'.

You wanted to pee so bad but you were unable to even move under him. You laid there for a few more minutes not wanting to wake him up but the urge to take a leak just became unbearable.

"Jungkook..." You shook him slightly, "Baby, I need to use the restroom."

"Why?" He asked in his sleepy voice making you laugh.

"Why? Why do people use the toilet, silly?"

"Just do it on the bed."

"EW, Jungkook no."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding." He laughed before getting up and you ran to the bathroom as soon as you were free.

'Did Jungkook just make a joke.' You thought as you sat down on the toilet. It was the first time you were watching this side of Jungkook, he was always either too nervous to talk to you or too irritated. You were happy though, that he could finally be himself around you.

After you cleaned yourself and walked back inside the room Jungkook was already dressed in fresh clothes and you missed his bare chest.

"Here," he handed you a grey t-shirt. "It is clean." You were surprised as he pulled you closer to him and pecked your lips. Neither of you spoke about your departure from his place and acted like it was daily occurrence for you to spend so much time at his flat.

"So? Should we continue with our lesson?" he asked pulling you down on his lap.

"Do we have to?"

"I mean, if you want to pass his class then yes."

"Or we can think about it later and do something fun."

"How about, we study for an hour and then you could choose any game that you want to play, I have 278 games that you can choose from."

"Oh my god, 278?" You asked with wide eyes and he nodded his head. "Wow you are a nerd."

"Guilty."

You agreed with his deal and he also promised to treat you with food after the study session.

You have to admit that studying was fun with Jungkook. His concepts were so clear that he made them sound very easy to you and by the end of the hour you were proud that you finally learned something today.

"Wow that was very easy, I have no idea how that man makes all of this sound so fucking boring. You know what you should be a lecturer."

"You think so?"

"Actually no, that is a very bad idea. Nobody will listen to a single thing that you say"

"Why?"

"They will be too busy looking at that pretty face." You said in all seriousness and he started blushing again.

"Okay so you wanna play FIFA?"

*******

"Wow you are smiling, A LOT." Jimin said and gave you a side eye as you happily sipped on your matcha tea.

"I'm always smiling."

"You are, but today it looks like your face got stuck with a hanger inside."

"That's because I am happy?"

"Why? What did you smoke?"

"Nothing, can't I be happy sober."

"You can, but you are only this happy when you smoke good weed."

"Let's go its time for class." You said getting up from the couch and pulling Jimin up with you.

"Seriously what happened to you? You want to go to class again?"

"If you don't come, I'll go by myself." Your threat seemed to work on him as he rolled his eyes and started following.

"What did this Jungkook guy do to you? Did he make you join some geeks cult? Blink twice for yes." Jimin joked as both of you made your way to Mr. Aitken's hall.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I want to study and attend my classes?"

"Yeah right, you also want to bake a pie and become a housewife."

When you enter hall SF22 your eyes immediately started looking for Jungkook and they lit up as soon as they spotted him. He seemed to have noticed you as he patted at the empty seat beside him with a shy smile.

"Let's go, Chimmy."

"You want to sit in the front?"

"Yeah why not."

"Maybe its time for me to switch best friends."

"As anyone else would tolerate you beside me. Hi, Jungkook." You said as you sat down beside him at glared at Jimin when he didn't greet him.

"Hey man." Jungkook immediately nodded at him and return his greeting.

Jungkook wondered if anyone in this hall could figure out that you spent the entire night at his place and made out with him till the dawn. What if they found out though? Would they mock him? Would they say more awful things about you? He hated being the center of attention, especially if it was for negative reasons, but he would still prefer people to talk shit about him rather than you.

Jungkook also wonders if you had the same feeling of despair as he did when you left this morning. He questioned whether everything that was happening effected you the way it did him.

Although the sweet smile that you gave him was reassuring enough he couldn't help but think if you would become bored of him sooner or later.

You on the other hand could practically see the wheels in his head turning around and he once again looked shy and nervous. What happened to the Jungkook you saw last night? the Jungkook that was confident enough to ask you to teach him how to make you cum.

"You okay?" You asked and before he nodded with another smile. You took his hand under the table and gave it a squeeze.

The lecture went by neither of you saying anything, But you made sure to rub his thigh every now and then.

Once the lecture was over he didn't leave like he usually did but instead waited for you to get up first, you took him by surprise when you held out your hand for him. Jimin looked at you with a questioning look, he wouldn't say that you were not a PDA person but he has never seen you hold hands with some beside him and maybe Yoongi when you guys were together.

"I'll meet you at the cafe, Jiminie." You told your best friend giving him a side hug which he gladly returned and left with your hands in Jungkook's. He was happy for you, yes a little jealous that he had to now share his time with you with some other guy but if you were happy he wanted nothing more than that.

"Where are we going?" You asked swinging your joined hands back and forth.

"The library."

You complained a bit, but you happily went along with him. It didn’t matter where he went; you’d probably follow him even to the dumpster. You couldn’t quite explain this overwhelming desire to spend all your time with him—it had never happened to you before, not even with Yoongi. You usually needed your personal space, but with Jungkook, it felt different; he was your personal space.

The library was much quieter than usual for a Friday morning. Only a few people lingered among the shelves and chairs, and they seemed indifferent to both of you, allowing Jungkook to exhale in relief.

He was about to sit on his usual spot but you dragged him farther inside the liberary.

"I know a spot," you said, noticing the questioning look on his face as you led him to the library's unexplored section. The books were coated in dust, suggesting that no one had been here in ages—perhaps because Celtic mythology was considered a forgotten topic. Jungkook had never seen this part of the library before, and you only came here to make out in peace.

"What is this section."

"Celtic Mythology and that is paleontology, nobody comes here. Ever."

"Why?"

"I don't know, probably because nobody reads them anymore."

"That's sad. These books must have been lonely for years," he said, his voice tinged with sadness as he traced his fingers along the spine of a book. He looked as pure as the first rays of morning sunlight. It was endearing how much he cared, even for the forgotten books.

"Why are we here?" he asked, his innocence making you want to tuck him away in your pocket and shield him from the world.

"I wanted to kiss you." You were blunt like always, taking his breath away from his lungs.

"You do?"

"Umhmm, don't you?"

"I do. Very much."

"Then what's stopping you? Kiss me."

"What if- what if someone walks in?"

"Nobody comes here, trust me. I'm pretty sure half of these people don't even know the existence of this section," You said pulling him closer to you. "So... You can do whatever you like, baby. Nobody would know." Your words were enough reassurance for him. He cupped your face with both of his hands and pulled you in for a sweet and short kiss.

"Can I... can I touch you here?" He questions, fingers hovering over your covered pussy and you nodded in excitement.

His hands were shaky as they slid under your skirt and caressed your wetness through your panties. His touch was so soft yet it sent a lightning inside your body making you shiver and almost lose your balance. If it wasn't for his other hand holding your waist you would have fell down.

You held his hand and guided it inside your panty. You became so wet in just a few seconds. Jungkook was eager so he did what he craved for, dipped two fingers in your arousal and pulled them out to suck on them. The site almost made you come right there.

You tasted delicious to him, just like how he imagined all those times he did the unholy while thinking of you. It was the perfect mixture of salty and sweet

You grabbed his neck and pulled him in an eager kiss. Lips clashing away at each other like it was a battle. His hand went back inside your underwear and wasted no time before pushing in two fingers. His thumb played your clit like a guitar.

You whimpered against his lips as his other hand went inside your crop top and squeezed you like a lemon. The more he tasted your cherry lip gloss the more he craved for it.

"Jung-... baby, I'm gonna cum." You warned him and he rubbed you even even faster. His two fingers buried so deep inside you that he could stroke your walls.

As you came down from your high your fingers started to immediately work on the buttons of his jeans.

Your mouth was watering at the thought of his cock. You wanted a taste again.

"__, somebody's gonna walk in." He said as you quickly pushed him against the bookshelf and pulled down his zipper.

"Shh... if you don't make any nose, nobody would know." You murmured against his lips that were now shining with your pink lip gloss. You slowly started pumping his cock that was now hard and hot against your hand. "Do you want me to make you cum?" He hesitantly nodded and you happily sunk down on your knees to take him in your mouth.

When your warm wet lips wrapped around the tip of his cock, Jungkook realized how hard it was going to be to stay silent.

*******

Spending the night in Jungkook's room has almost became a daily occurrence to you. It has been exactly three weeks since you first gave him the best orgasm of his life.

It was now like a daily schedule that you would go to his place after college and hang out with him, sometimes it would end in you on your knees, showing him the gates of heaven and sometimes it would end innocently with the two of you cuddling and talking about anything and everything.

You have not taken the next step yet, it wasn't that he never asked you to, you just wanted him to be completely sure before doing that.

There was one more thing, you were scared. Scared to take the next step with him. What if after you have sex with him you become bored. You know you like him too much but still, you were scared to break his heart. He was too innocent for that, you can never live with yourself if you ever made him sad.

Right now you were sitting on his bed with a gaming console in your hand whining at the fact that Jungkook would let you win.

It wasn't that you were bad at playing video games, it was that Jungkook was too good, you watched at the boy with a pout as he defeated your team for the third time in a row.

"Oh my god, what are you not good at?"

"I'm going easy on you."

"Such a show off." You said, playfully rolling your eyes.

"Let's play a game that you are good at."

"Ummm... Lets play Tekken."

"Ok." He obliged before putting on the game that you demanded. "What does winner gets?" He asked and you raised your eyebrow.

"Whatever they want."

"Whatever?"

"Whatever."

"I was gonna let you win but not anymore."

"Nooo, don't be mean, go easy on me."

"You ready?" He asked and you nodded, eyes squinting at focus as you looked at the TV screen. Jungkook felt a strange kind of serenity when he looked at you. Nobody ever has been so quick to tear down his walls. You not only tore down his wall but also made a home inside.

Nobody knows you, not really. They wouldn't say those things if they did. You were sweet, kind, beautiful inside out. You were mot even a single thing that people described you to be. Quite the opposite.

"Oh my god you lost!" You exclaimed all of a sudden pulling him out of the train of his thoughts. "Oh my god, I can't believe I won, I Won."

You got up from the bed and started jumping around, if an outsider looked they would think you won a lottery and not just a video game.

"Wait, did you let me win?" You stopped jumping and stood in front of him with a not-so-threatening pout.

"What? No. I would never, you are just so good at it."

"Of course, I am." You mockingly brushed of your shoulders and Jungkook decided right there that he was in love with you. Maybe it was too soon, maybe you wouldn't reciprocate it but he was utterly and madly in love with you. And he doesn't care if you don't love him back, he would love enough for the both of you.

"Ok now what do I get?" He would honestly give you both his kidneys if you asked but you didn't. "I want you to give me piggy back ride tomorrow between all my classes." Your choice of demand made him laugh.

"That's it?"

"Yeah."

"Huh, i thought you would ask for my PlayStation."

"Oh my god, I could have right? I want to change my wish."

"No, no take backs."

*******

Jungkook's roommate left town for a while so you decided to take advantage of it and make dinner for the two of you. Jungkook helped you with chopping all the veggies.

"Are you sure this is how it supposed to look."

"Are you calling my shrimps ugly?"

The poor little animals have become a little black inside the frying pan but you were sure they would taste good.

"No, not ugly, they just don't look..."

"What? Edible? Fine, I'm gonna eat it all by myself, don't come begging for a piece if it tastes heavenly." You were so confident in your creation that it reminded him of that night when you made him that 'special cocktail' that tasted like piss but he didn't have the heart to tell you that.

You don't remember the last time you hung out with someone this long that too without any alcohol or weed, and yet it was the most fun you had in a while. Jungkook made you feel emotions you thought you had lost touch with. Even with Yoongi, you had never experienced this kind of pure bliss. He made you feel whole, like you didn’t need drugs or sex to fill any emptiness. With Jungkook, there’s no pressure to uphold a certain image or look flawless. You can simply be yourself, and it’s enough to make you feel truly happy.

As you served the forbidden looking dish on both of the plates he pulled out his phone to snap a picture. You couldn't help but smile, striking a playful pose for the camera. The photos turned out great—you looked flawless. The shrimp, however, was undeniably inedible. But of course, he’d never admit that.

You spat out the content of your mouth into the dustbin.

"Oh my god. EW. Stop eating it. Its so salty i feel like i gulped acid."

"I think it tastes fine." Jungkook said chewing the burnt fish.

"Spit it out."

In the end, you decided to order pizza, and despite your insistence, Jungkook insisted on paying for it. You both settled on his bed, enjoying the pizza while watching a new anime he had introduced you to.

Despite the screen in front of you flashing with gore and violence, you’d never felt as at peace as you did in that moment. With your stomach full and your head resting on his warm, bare chest, his fingers gently weaving through your hair, everything felt perfectly calm.

"Jungkook?" You asked, your voice laced with curiosity.

"Hmm?"

"Why were you so scared of me before?" Your question made him pause, now that he think of it he doesn't seem to know the answer. Sure he still remembers all those horrible things he heard and regrettably believed about you but he doesn't know why he used to be so scared of this sweetest girl he has ever met that he couldn't even form a sentence without stuttering. You have never personally been mean to Jungkook nor has he ever seen you do anything remotely as horrible as people say.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"You were so pretty, and so far out of my league that maybe I thought it was a sin to just be in the same vicinity as you." His answer made you burst out laughing.

"What? Do you still believe that?"

"Do I believe that you are the prettiest girl I've ever seen? Yes."

"No do you still believe that I am out of your league and it is a sin to be with me?"

"Yes, if anyone in college finds out I'm cuddling with the __ __ they would sacrifice me."

"Stop joking, I'm serious. You can't think that I am out of your league or something."

"You are though."

"I am NOT."

"You could literally have any guy that you point your finger at."

"And here I am, laying in your bed, begging to suck your cock every other night." Your words made him twitch inside his boxers. "You are gorgeous, smart, funny and you make me feel so good, you can't possibly think that I am out of your league."

"You know, I used to... I used to think that you were asking me out to make fun of me." His confession made you laugh again.

"What? Really?"

"I mean... there was you and then there was me. I never thought I was your type. And I never really heard good things about you either"

"My god, people really think I'm the devil don't they?"

"Who cares what they think?"

"Hmm... What else did you hear about me?"

"Nothing that matters, what matters is who you really are. And you are the kindest and sweetest person ever and you give really good head." You burst out laughing again.

"Oh my god, you heard that as well?"

"Everyone did."

"Wow, I'm glad that we put that out of question."

The anime playing on the screen was long forgotten. The boy laying in your arms was far more interesting. You stared into each other's eyes for how long you don't really know, you know you can stare into them so much more longer.

*******

Making out with Jungkook felt like an habit now. You were currently laying under him in nothing but your underwear while the anime still plays in the background on mute.

No matter how many times you kiss him you can never not be surprised by how sweet his lips taste, just like him. His hands, gentle yet strong, groped every inch of your body like he was holding onto his life.

Jungkook pulled away from your lips, looking down at your body and a sudden fire burst through him. You were so beautiful that he couldn't get over the fact that you were under him. He must have done some really great work in his past life and he was now getting rewarded for it.

"What happed baby boy?" You ask pulling him out of his train of thougts.

"I want to please you."

"You are pleasing me."

"No... like you do it for me. I want to... I want to use my mouth." You smirked, it was always so cute when he stuttered.

"I don't understand, be more clear baby." You certainly do understand but it was so much fun teasing him.

"God, I want to eat you out, __. Can I?" Your words got lost in your throat so you nodded your head in affirmation.

Jungkook started kissing a very slow trail down your body make you almost die from anticipation. When his mouth finally came in contact with your bundle of nerves, your whole body started shivering.

"Oh god baby, that's right." His hand took yours and put it in his hair as if telling you to guide him. "Use your tongue." And like ever so obedient, he did.

His tongue was warm and even though it was his first time it felt very skillful. His tongue, licked up your juices in big and wide strokes. Pouty lips sucking in your clit every now and then.

"Now put a finger inside, baby." he followed your instruction almost immediately. Long thick finger sinking in your heat while his tongue licked you.

His other free hand went up to grab at your breast, squeezing and kneading the flesh and occasionally twisting your nipples.

With a last few rhythmic strokes of his tongue and finger you were cumming.

"I'm cumming, baby boy." Your words sounded like reward to his ears. His tongue out and mouth was open, ready to drink in everything that you were about to offer.

You have never squirted in your life and this boy who looks like, he has never even seen a pussy in his life just made you squirt in like 5 minutes. You wonder what more talents were he hiding.

"Come here, baby. I want you inside me." You said pulling him by his arms, closer to you. He was already so hard that your word made him feel like he was going to pop a vessel on his dick.

You changed your position and now he was under you while you pulled out a condom from your purse and rolled it on his cock without wasting another minute.

This scene in front of Jungkook was a little too familiar, he has dreamt of this exact moment only every other night ever since you started talking to him.

Your hands guiding his to your chest and you slowly sunk down on him, your warm pussy fitted his cock like a glove. Like they were made for each other. A loud whine left Jungkook's lips as soon as you settled on his dick.

"I've dreamt of this so many times." His arousal has turned off all his filters, his confession made you smirk.

"You did? SO naughty. And you dare to act like you are the most innocent guy on this planet."

"It was because of you, you make me think all those lewd things."

"Oh yeah? Did you touch yourself after waking up?" You asked as you slowly started jumping up and down in a perfect rhythm and his words got caught in his throat. "tell me, baby. Did you?"

"Yesss... Aghh fuckkk.. Everytime."

"Mhmm. God you feel so good. Was your hand as good as my pussy?"

"No, Noth-- Ahh.. Nothing compares to this. Your pussy is so good." He cried out in pleasure as both of your rode close to your orgasms.

"Tell me, baby. What else did you dream about?"

"I- I dreamt... About you riding my face."

"You would like that wouldn't you?"

"Please... I love your pussy so much."

"Rub my clit, Jungkook." Jungkook did as told and started rubbing your clit with his thumb.

"I'm about to cum." He cried out.

"Me too baby, just hold for a few seconds."

After a few more seconds of riding his heavenly dick you both were finally coming down from your high. Lips finding each others as soon as you were done. Your bodies seemed to have calmed down as you gave each other slow and deep kisses.

"Wow, that... That was the best sex I've ever had. And I'm not just saying it, Jungkook." Jungkook's face turned pink at the compliment. Honestly he never thought he would last this long if he ever had the chance to have sex with you. "Did you like it as well?" He was shy again all of a sudden.

"Yes. I would... I would like to do it again."

"Me too, baby me too, but lets get some sleep right now."

After you you both cleaned up and jumped into his bed, you realized how tired you became. Your eyes closed as soon as your head rested on his chest.

Once your breath turned even and you fell asleep, or Jungkook thought you fell asleep he pressed his lips against your forehead and gave you a kiss. A kiss that was a lot more meaningful then any kiss on the lips.

"I love you." He whispered, thinking you were fast asleep but you heard it. You heard as his breath became even as well and he fell deep into sleep.

For once you don't feel like you have to leave. You don't feel like you are out of place and you don't feel like you are incapable of love.

For once you don't want to get up in the morning and sneak out before he's awake, instead you want to stay over, you want to have breakfast with him. You want to sit on his counter as he cooks and you want to hear him say he loves you again.

Maybe you wouldn't say it back right now if he said it when you were awake but you like to believe that one day, very soon, you will also whisper it to him as he falls asleep.

*******

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@azaood

[moni-logues]

Reciprocity

Pairing: Yoongi x afab reader (Kintsugi couple) feat. A Fine Line Couple

Genre: established relationship

Word count: 5.8k

Summary: A couples' holiday with Suri and Namjoon highlights a particular problem between you and Yoongi.

Content: one reference to self-harm (cutting) but discussion of scars, oral sex (f. receiving), discussions of sex life stuff?, i guess some poor communication, overheard sex

A/N: yes, it's me once again with my favourite characters no apologies. i have been thinking about this since maybe even before i finished the series??? and i'm glad to have it finally out of my head. this is unedited and unbeta'd, written by me in the course of this one single day and well, here we are. This is set in the summer, somewhere a few months after the ending of the series.

* * *

“It’ll be fun!” 

Yoongi just nodded and continued carefully folding clothes and packing them in a bag.  

“You don’t want to come,” you continued, heart sinking a little. 

“Of course I do.” 

“Tell your face.” 

He smiled then but didn’t want you to see it, turned around to fetch underwear from a drawer. When he turned back, his face was schooled into something a little more neutral, polite. 

“I’m not saying it’s my first choice of holiday,” he explained, “but I want to go.” 

“Good, because you’re coming whether you like it or not!” 

You hopped off the bed, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then moved into the kitchen to prepare snacks for the road. At the advice of your therapist, you were taking Yoongi at his word: if he said he wanted to come, you would believe him and it was not your responsibility if he was lying. Even though it felt like it was.  

A week in the sun had been your initial suggestion. Somewhere where the heat wasn’t a curse, but a blessing. Clear blue skies and cool water. Peace. Unbridled joy where the real world couldn’t touch you. Even you weren’t entirely sure when it turned into a couples’ holiday, but it was an idea that neither Suri nor Yoongi would ever come up with, and you weren’t sure about Namjoon so it must have been yours. Sounded like the sort of thing you would say. Yoongi had said yes and let you do the research, find somewhere not too far away, easy to get to but far enough to feel new, to feel fresh.  

He had been fairly tight-lipped about it since then. Got a little quiet when you brought it up, when you showed him tourism websites with activities laid out. He insisted he wanted to come but never quite managed to muster up the level of enthusiasm you’d hoped for. In a way, that was just Yoongi being Yoongi, but there was anxiety in you, too, and it was making you sensitive. You could see everyone hating the idea, hating the trip, having the worst time. The awkward silences, arguments about what to do or who should clean what. Namjoon had joked that he would have to force Suri to come and he had said it with a laugh but you knew it was true.  

You turned your head and looked out of the car window at the increasingly green scenes around you and bit your lip. It felt incongruous somehow to not be happy and peaceful when the environment was so lush and bright with life. With ease. With a natural kind of solidity that had stood for hundreds or thousands of years and was still standing. You felt small and silly to be worried about this but it didn’t stop you worrying. Yoongi’s hand found yours and, like it always did, made a warmth start in your heart. You closed your eyes for a second of intense gratitude and then turned to him. 

“It’ll be fun,” he said.  

And it sounded like he meant it. 

* 

You and Yoongi arrived first, took the back bedroom overlooking the lake at Yoongi’s insistence because it was the better view. You had stopped on the way for groceries and you stocked the fridge, took out food to cook for dinner, since it would be about that time when Namjoon and Suri arrived.  

The cabin was wooden and new, so new it still smelt literally pine-fresh. The sun was just starting to dip, dripping golden light over everything, spreading a thousand tiny diamonds on the surface of the lake. It couldn’t have been more picturesque. It made you want to send a postcard for the first time since you were a child.  You settled for texting photos to Taehyung who told you to stop messaging him. Your ripples of anxiety were peaking, anticipating Namjoon and Suri’s arrival and what sort of dynamic it would bring, how it might disturb the peace of this place.  

Yoongi tore you from the window and asked you to start peeling vegetables. You were glad of the task. 

“-t I don’t want to be here, it’s just going to be weird.” 

Suri’s voice came from the hallway and you froze. So did Yoongi. 

“I don’t know why you keep saying that-” Namjoon - “it’s not as if we’ve never spent time with them. You like them.” 

Suri’s hum in response sounded unconvinced.  

You heard the kicking off of shoes, could follow their footsteps into the living room, around the corner from the kitchen where the two of you were hidden. Yoongi put down his knife and moved to go, intercept them before they said something you didn’t want to hear, but you put a hand out to stop him. Your stomach was sick but you had to hear it. Whatever it might be.  

“She’s jus-” 

And they rounded the corner into the kitchen, stopped in their tracks when they saw you. 

“Hey!” Namjoon was the first to recover. “We didn’t know you guys had arrived already! Where have you parked?” 

“’Round the back,” Yoongi answered. 

He was looking at Suri and you were looking anywhere but. Face burning with shame—that this was your idea, that it was all your fault, that you should’ve made you presence known earlier, that no one except you wanted to do this—you swallowed and smiled as brightly as you could. 

“You made it!”  

Your cheer sounded forced to you; maybe Namjoon and Suri wouldn’t hear it. Maybe they would believe you. 

“Public transport is a fucking nightmare,” Suri said with feeling.  

“I told you we could’ve rented a car,” Namjoon replied as if they had had this argument already. 

“I’m not driving in these hills! You should do it. Right?” 

You flinched when she turned to you and realised you had to answer. 

“Uh-” 

“Yoongi drove, right? Literally what are men good for if not chauffeuring you around?” 

It was a lifeline for her, really, but you took it readily, gladly, anything to drive over the awkwardness and shame you were feeling. 

“She has a point, Joon,” you said, grinning at him. “You could at least get a licence.”  

Namjoon rolled his eyes indulgently, let you and Suri rib him a little more, smoothing things over at his own expense. You were deeply grateful.  

“Come and help us do dinner,” you said, ferreting out more chopping boards from the cupboard, handing over knives and ingredients.  

It would be fine, you told yourself as you diligently and with great focus, chopped an onion. It would be fine. It would not be weird. It would be fine. It would be fine.  

* 

It was fine. Dinner was cooked and eaten and cleaned up after. Drinks were taken on to the back porch, overlooking the lake, the heat lingering long into the darkness. It was not dissimilar to the other dinners you had had as a foursome. As long as you could forget what Suri might have been about to say, you were sure you could have a good time.  

* 

You woke the next morning, sun streaming sharply through a gap in the curtains. You rolled over, tucked yourself into Yoongi’s side even though you were already hot and sticky. You were willing yourself to fall back to sleep, even if just for a few minutes, and then you were sitting, eyes wide, ears trained.  

There was no mistaking the sound of other people having sex. You grimaced, settled back down in bed and pulled the covers over your head. 

“What?” Yoongi mumbled, not so much a word as a sound. 

“Can’t you hear them?” you asked in a stage whisper. 

Another grunt from Yoongi. Then you felt his body tense, followed by a sigh and a sleepy chuckle. 

“You’re the one who wanted to come on holiday with another couple.” 

You whined, prodded him sharply in the chest. 

“Not because I was anticipating this! Do they have to be so loud?” 

“This place is not exactly well sound-proofed.” 

“I so don’t want to hear this.” 

“Go back to sleep,” Yoongi said and he sounded like he was already halfway there himself.  

“I don’t know how you can sleep now that you can hear that.” 

Merely a hum in response. 

You lay for a few minutes, desperately trying not to hear the only noise in the house, and then you gave up. Threw back the covers and went into the bathroom to shower. The rush of the shower might not exactly cover it but it would give you something to do.  

* 

“Hey,” Yoongi greeted the other couple when they came out to join the two of you on the back porch, where you were sitting with coffee and fruit. “Just a quick request: could you please have louder sex? I’ve been getting a little too much sleep recently.” 

You and Suri both froze and you saw the blood swarm in her cheeks, red and hot. Namjoon just laughed.  

“I’ll see what we can do.” 

Suri swatted him harshly on the arm and he barely noticed, slung said arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, kissed her on the top of her head. If he felt embarrassed or awkward about it, it wasn’t showing. What was it like to be so self-assured, confident, relaxed about everything? Even with Suri’s face still pink, her mouth pulled into a scowl, furiously glowering at her boyfriend, he looked easy, his smile gentle and eyes bright. You envied him. You still felt silly and embarrassed about the previous evening, and embarrassed about hearing them have sex; he didn’t seem embarrassed at all to be heard.  

* 

Yoongi had insisted on washing up after breakfast. Didn’t let anyone else so much as carry a bowl back to the kitchen. He was taking his time on it, deliberately, carefully, putting off what he knew could not be avoided.  

He was rarely unaware of his own body. Vigilant at all times about its exposure. He had suffered years of summers under long sleeves and trousers, would suffer higher temperatures, more humidity if he had to. He regretted everything he had done to himself, but not in a way that prevented him doing it again. No amount of shame or embarrassment would stop him, it seemed. Not that it happened much these days, but the possibility was always there.  

Even when he was with you, he couldn’t let go. Even though you were sweet and kind and loving. Even though he knew there was a part of you that understood. Even though he could kiss your thighs where you had cut them and love you so much that it hurt, love your skin, love your scars (hate that you had them). Even though you kissed him, all over, generous and unsparing, even though you said you loved him, all the parts, every bit of him. He knew what he was and he found that breaking the habit of hiding himself was harder than the hiding had been in the first place. 

With his task finished, and all the others he had made up for himself (cleaning counters, fluffing cushions, clearing the dryer of lint even though they hadn’t used it), he had come to the point he could no longer avoid. He moved slowly up the stairs, towards the bedroom you and he were sharing; he stopped halfway up. He could see you through the door, left ajar.  

Your bikini was floral, cutesy, every bit you. The smile formed on his mouth before he had registered the sight. Then it was wiped away because he saw your face: your worried eyebrows, lip caught between your teeth. Your fingers ran over the scars on your thighs; your face turned towards the window, from which point Yoongi knew you could see Namjoon and Suri, already out, lounging. He could see cogs turning in your head, first this way then that.  

And then it wasn’t just the scars. You fussed with the top, fussed with the bottom, turned in the mirror to check yourself from the side, twisted your head around to catch yourself from the back. You ran a hand over your face. You picked up a slip of fabric—some kind of cover-up, a dress?—and held it up against yourself. 

He knew he shouldn’t be spying like this. He wanted to leap the remaining stairs and take you into bed where he would show you exactly what he thought of your body: your perfect, desirable, soft, body that he loved and loved to love. He wanted, briefly, to throw Suri in the lake and hope there were eels because he knew you were still thinking about it: last night.  

He knew that it didn’t matter much what he did because it wasn’t that easy. It wasn’t as easy as being told you were fine. He knew because you told him all the time but he still felt like there was something wrong with him.  

He carried on up the stairs and knocked on the door as he entered. Your face was immediately bright, free from clouds, as clear as the sky outside.  

“Coming outside?” you asked as he moved in closer, couldn’t stop himself kissing you just once, putting all his love into it, however brief, however small. 

“Yeah, just coming. You go ahead.” 

You nodded and skipped out and there was a deep tug in his chest. There was a pit of snakes in his stomach but, fuck it, he’d been bitten before. Everyone out there beside the lake knew him, knew what he was if not in full, lurid detail. He took a deep breath and fished around in the bottom of his bag for the pair of swimming shorts he had bought in a moment of madness and packed because he wanted to make the effort for you. He hadn’t expected to wear them—they were still fully tagged and pristine, ready for refunding—but here he was.  

He hadn’t anticipated the difficulty. He sat for ten minutes at the dining table in the kitchen, willing himself to get up and go outside. His legs weren’t all that bad, not the lower half. No one would care. You’d seen them before anyway. It wasn’t a big deal. He was telling himself all the right things but he couldn’t make himself move because he was thinking about all the people who’d seen him in his grossest state. Thought of the things some of them had said. Thought about their reactions. Thought about yours. Tried to focus on that. Reminded himself that it was you out there and his best friend. Suri was still a question mark but he also thought that she could go fuck herself if she had a problem with it because he was still prepared to fight her for potentially upsetting you. 

“I don’t know. I’ll go and see where he is.” 

Your voice floated over to him and that was it, the alarm call, the deadline reached. He stood from the chair and made himself move with he didn’t know what power.  

“Hey!” you cried, arms outstretched to welcome him as he approached the group. “I was just coming to look for you—thought you might have got lost.” 

He smiled, let you kiss him on the cheek, direct him into a sun lounger, sit down with him on it, not quite in his lap but almost.  

Suri raised a hand in way of a greeting; she was flat on her back, sunglasses on, straps of her bikini tucked away, her tiny body sizzling in the sun. Namjoon sat next to her, under the shade of a parasol, dug out of the cabin’s garage, book in hand. He nodded at Yoongi and kept reading. 

“I’m going to go in the lake,” you said, one hand resting on his calf. “Do you want to come?” 

He was putting all his energy into not looking where you were touching him, not noticing, pretending that this wasn’t the first time for he couldn’t remember how many years that he’d not been fully covered in front of people. He wasn’t sure what his face said, if his mouth said anything at all, but you were standing and holding out your hands for him so he must have said yes, let you lead him to the edge of the water and then jump in.  

The water was colder than he’d expected. He gasped and swallowed a lungful, came up spluttering. He wiped the water from his face and pushed his hair back. He blinked the water from his eyes and each frame brought you closer, until your arms were around his neck and your lips on his.  

“I love you, you know that?” 

He nodded. 

“I love you, too.” 

“I know.” 

Did you? Did you really know the full depth and breadth of it? The way he loved you was desperate and whole. He had loved desperately before, loved anxiously, a long time ago when he still thought it was possible he could be loved. There were times when it terrified him. You terrified him because you loved him and it was impossible. Panic seized him and he wanted to run, run anywhere, get as far away as possible until you and your enormous heart were nowhere to be seen. Then you would call him or you would touch him and the panic disappeared, a low-grade anxiety in its place.  

He hadn’t realised he had given up on it. Before you let him kiss you, before you kissed him back and said things he never believed he would hear, he had retired the idea of being loved. It wasn’t for everyone and it wasn’t for him. He took what he could get and accepted that his lot in life was nothing more. But he met you and it hit him square in the face: that he’d stopped expecting joy. That he was fine because he never expected what he deeply and desperately wanted: to be loved. 

And that’s why you were terrifying. Because he was getting used to you. Getting used to being wanted. Getting used to the idea that he could be wanted. Sometimes he thought he was expecting it. Expecting you to let him in your arms, in your life. He had to remind himself that he wasn’t owed anything, didn’t deserve anything. It was the other way around: he was in debt for everything he had been given by you, for being given you at all. 

* 

They say if you can’t beat them, join them. It was an expression Yoongi was apparently taking very seriously, as he slid his tongue down your torso, fingers already slipping through your lips, sinking deep into your soft, wet hole.  

You were less keen to join Namjoon and Suri in being overheard so you pressed a pillow to your face and moaned into it, still louder than you’d wanted to be. You bit down hard on your lip as your back arched from the bed. Every time, it was an aria performed like a concerto, Yoongi doing the work of a full orchestra suite at once. It was lethal and moving the ease with which he played you and it was somehow never the same twice. Never had anyone spent as much time with his face between your legs and it showed: he had learnt, with apparent ease, seemingly everything about what got you off: had learnt how to do it in a rush, how to take his time, how to make you squirt (a surprise more to you than him), how to edge you until you wanted to die, how to make you come and somehow keep coming. He had, on one unfortunately memorable occasion, given you a charley horse and a third orgasm simultaneously.  

You were approaching your second now, with sweat seeping into the bedsheets, and Yoongi’s tongue laving at your clit, his fingers rocking inside you. It was suffocating with the pillow smothering you, your hot breath making it damp, your breathing thick and swampy so it made you light-headed. You couldn’t have kept any quieter even if you’d be able to try; all your attention and energy fell on the mouth at the apex of your legs and the fingers inside you. An experience so in-body, it almost pushed you all the way out again, like your consciousness was hovering outside your skin, alert and alive, an electrical wire in a puddle of water.  

You came hard and gasped for breath when you pulled the pillow from your face. Yoongi kissed his way back up to you, sticky marks all over your sweat-wet skin. He was damp, too, tiny curls of hair stuck to his forehead, the T-shirt he slept in stuck to his back. You peeled it back, ran your hands over him, were reaching for the waistband of his boxers when he pulled away.  

“I’ll wash up and then make breakfast, sound good?” he asked, climbing out of bed and reaching for trousers. 

The words died in your mouth. You could see that he was hard, see the discomfort in the way he adjusted himself as he dressed; you wished you could see into his brain. It wasn’t the first time, not even the second or third and you didn’t want to have the same conversation again, with another couple in the house, with company. Knew it wouldn’t get you anywhere if you did. Knew he would not fuck you nor would he give you a real reason why not. You rolled onto your side, away from the door and pulled the covers around you, despite the heat, despite the sweat. You lay and you stewed and you wondered just what exactly you were doing wrong. 

* 

You tried to forget about it and it had been easy until you glanced over to see Namjoon swat Suri’s backside with his book, saw her retaliate by squirting water on him from her bottle, saw him pull her down in a tumble that was entirely playful until she kissed him. You turned away because you’d already heard enough, you didn’t need to see their foreplay.  

* 

“Did you guys buy ice-cream?” Suri asked later that evening. 

“No,” you answered. “Do you want some?” 

Suri nodded. 

“Yeah, there’s a shop down the road; I’ll go and get some. Anyone else want any?” 

“I’ll come, too!” 

Suri looked surprised, her mouth open (to put you off), then she shut it and shrugged. 

“Ok.” 

It was quiet, initially, just the soft rush of wind in the tops of the trees and the slight crunch of the gravel track under your feet. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

The rhythm of Suri’s feet faltered and then started smoothly again. Her answer was slow to arrive. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

Embarrassment was worming through you, on its way to stifle you, to choke you so the words wouldn’t come out. 

“You and Namjoon have good sex, right?” 

Suri didn’t just falter but stopped completely. She looked at you guardedly, suspicious. You could feel her attempting to put distance between you, even as her feet kept still. 

“Is that... ar-, we’re trying to be quiet,” she answered eventually. 

You laughed not because it was funny but because you were nervous. 

“No, it’s not about that. It's... I mean, you do, right?” 

“Yes.” 

You were stuttering over your next question, not having planned this conversation, not really knowing what you wanted out of it. 

“Don’t you and Yoongi?” Suri asked, beating you to it. 

“We do. Kind of. Yes, but also...” 

Your face was flaming, hot pricks of sweat beading in your scalp at the embarrassment of this, at having to ask someone about your sex life—someone that wasn’t Taehyung anyway—someone who definitely did not want to be having this conversation either. 

“The thing is,” you persevered, “he goes down on me, like a lot. Or not a lot but sometimes, well, often, he...”  

Your fists clenched and unclenched at your sides. 

“He goes down on me and then we don’t have sex and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong or why he doesn’t want to fuck me.” 

You let it out in a rush, looking somewhere over Suri’s left shoulder because you couldn’t bear to look at her directly, to see her face reacting. She was quiet for a moment or two and you stewed, boiling in your self-consciousness, steaming with shame.  

“Have you asked him?” 

“Yes, of course! He just says he doesn’t want to or ‘it’s ok’ or that I don’t have to reciprocate or that he’s fine. But I'm not fine! I’m clearly shit at sex! And blowjobs because he doesn’t want those either!” 

And it was the embarrassment, mostly, but you felt tears burn in your eyes, felt your bottom lip wobble and as much as you did not want to have this conversation, you certainly didn’t want to cry during it. 

“Does Namjoon ever...” and you couldn’t finish the question because you knew the answer and didn’t want to hear it. 

“Nah, if he’s even the slightest bit turned on, he’s doing something about it. Well, I'm doing something about it, you know what I mean.” 

You cursed softly, tried to kick at the gravel in your flipflops.  

“I just wish he would tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can fix it.” 

Your embarrassment, bright enough to have burnt away now, had left you sad, miserable in fact, that you couldn’t please your boyfriend and he was being too nice to tell you so. Sad because you couldn’t give him what you wanted to, what he gave you. Miserable that you were failing where you wanted to succeed. 

“Do you ask him directly at the time?” 

“Huh?” 

“I mean, look, I’m the last person who should be giving anyone relationship advice of any kind, ok? I really don’t know how to do anything but are you asking him why he doesn’t want to have sex right now, or have you talked about it at a completely unsexy time? Because Namjoon is barely sapient when his dick is hard; his brain is entirely in his crotch.  

“Literally the only thing I have learnt over the last year is that, as horrible as it is, you have to talk about stuff, especially when you don’t want to talk about it. So maybe just talk to him again but- oh, I don’t know! I’m not good at this. But if he’s not given you a proper answer, make him give you one. You should at least know what the problem is, if there even is one, right?” 

You thought about it. Thought about how quickly you let the subject drop, let Yoongi brush you off because you didn’t really want to have the conversation at all, didn’t want to know the answer—or rather you didn’t want to hear Yoongi say it.  

You nodded, thanked her quietly for her help and you walked the rest of the way to the shop in silence. You picked an ice-cream at random and a random one for Yoongi, too, then you walked back. Suri tried to make conversation with you and you were grateful for it, for her. You didn’t know if she liked you, found her impossible to read, and often got the impression that she’d rather be anywhere else, but she was making an effort and it meant something to you. 

* 

“Can I ask you something?” you started timidly as you settled in bed that night. 

“Yeah.” 

You were quiet for a moment and Yoongi frowned, trying to work out what had upset you. You had been quieter than usual all evening and he wondered if Suri had said something to you; you had come back from the shop with two melona ice-creams, which you hated.  

“Am I bad in bed?”  

He blanched. Didn’t really understand the question because you weren't. Not in the slightest. The sex he had with you was as close to perfect as sex could be. He sometimes felt deranged in how much he wanted you, felt dirty for it even, like it somehow besmirched your honour for him to think about you when he touched himself. Like he would contaminate you with his need to have you. It often took all he had in him not to fuck you. 

“What do you mean?” 

Your mouth was pouty and your eyebrows drawn close. You didn’t look angry for which he was grateful, but you were sad and frustrated for which he was not. 

“You go down on me all the time and then we don’t have sex after! You don’t let me reciprocate! I can’t do it better if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong in the first place!” 

It was like static was fuzzing up his brain. He knew the words but couldn’t understand them coming out of your mouth. He had thought he was doing the right thing. Giving not taking. Or taking only sometimes, but keeping the balance firmly tipped towards you. You always offered because of course you did: you were wonderful and kind and, for reasons he could rarely fathom, you cared about him.  

“Yoongi!” 

In a tone he almost never heard, genuinely annoyed, if also pleading and anxious.  

He blinked, tried to find an answer. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” 

“Of course you do! It happened this morning! It happens at least half the time! I don’t understand why you don’t want it.” 

And his heart was suddenly hammering because he could see that he had got it wrong but he wasn’t quite sure how. Colour drained from his face because you were upset, really, genuinely upset and it was his fault and if he could have squashed himself like a bug under his own shoe, he would have.  

He tried to see what he had not seen, what he had missed, what maybe he had ignored. Could only see instead the times before, with other partners, when he’d try to initiate and be rebuffed, when he never asked for anything because he knew he wouldn’t get it anyway and, besides, it was ugly to ask, to want, to demand for something someone else didn’t want to give. He had spent so much time and effort learning his partners’ bodies, trying to make up for everything he lacked. He knew he was good at it. Knew it, was sure of it. Wasn’t he? Was it not enough? Was he still missing something? 

“I do,” he said, voice hushed as though it hurt to say. “I do want it.” 

“Then why do you always brush me off?” 

He felt stripped like old paint. Had to look at you, though the embarrassment was excruciating. 

“I didn’t think you really wanted it.” 

And it sounded stupid when he said it out loud, really stupid, but it was the truth. 

“What?!” 

You really needed to hear him say it again. That he didn’t think you wanted it, even though you had explicitly asked. Even though you had sometimes tried, feebly, to insist.  

“I...” 

But he didn’t say it again, looked as though he couldn’t. Looked as desperate as you felt.  

“Why do you think I would ask, I would offer, if I didn’t want to actually do it?” 

“Because you give. You’re... You’re nice to me.” 

“Oh, fuck.” 

And you took a deep breath, tried to blink away the tears, sent them rolling down your cheeks instead.  

“Yoongi, what the fuck?” 

You saw him move, inch away just slightly, and you remembered who you were dealing with. Because he was Yoongi, your Yoongi, and he was warm and soft and sweet and funny and smart and you loved him so much that you forgot sometimes he still hated himself. Saw his denial now not of you but of his own desires. Remembered how long he had spent silently loving you without asking you to so much as hear a confession. Remembered how close you had both come to absolutely nothing at all, his disbelief overpowering his belief and his heart and his hope.  

You could see it from his side. See what he was trying to do, even if it was madness. Even if it was wrong. You could feel him retreat even now, tucking himself back inside his tortoise shell.  

“I’m so-” 

You didn’t let him finish, would not let him apologise. You kissed him, tasted the salt of your own tears between you, leant into him, let your arms wrap around him and pressed your lips to his, to his cheek, to his hairline, to his jaw. 

“Yoongi, I love you.” 

“I know,” he replied, but you weren’t sure if he really did. 

“I’m glad you think I'm such a nice person and everything, but I promise, I’m not offering out of the goodness of my heart. I’m asking because I actually want to. Like, really want to. Like, really enjoy myself and want you to enjoy yourself and want us to both enjoy ourselves together, y’know?” 

He nodded, couldn’t quite hold your gaze.  

“I’m serious. You need to know that I want to fuck you, ok?” 

And you laughed, though you were trying not to, even if it did feel a little ridiculous, having to convince your boyfriend that you wanted to have sex. 

He nodded again. 

“You promise I’m not a bad lay?” 

And you watched his face flick through shock and outrage and a kind of disbelief that become laughter.  

“You are not a bad lay, I promise.” 

“And what about blowjobs?”  

“Also good.”  

“You promise?” 

And you sat yourself in his lap, legs straddling his hips, sinking yourself low, pressing against him. 

“I promise.” 

“What if I say you have to prove it?” 

His head cocked to the side, playful, squinting at you, and you didn’t think that it was over, that he was suddenly convinced now, but with the burden of Being Terrible at Sex lifted off you, you felt not only lighter, but the deep, heavy, familiar drag of desire raise its head. 

“Prove it?” 

You shifted your hips again, deniably but definitely, and put your lips to his ear. 

“Prove that you like it when I suck your cock.” 

His hands gripped you tightly; you felt the bob in his throat when he swallowed as you pressed kisses down his neck and a stirring in his boxers that you sank even lower to press yourself against. 

“I’ll prove it if you prove that you like it when I fuck you.” 

“Deal.” 

* 

You were late up that next morning and Namjoon greeted you both from the back porch. 

“Hey, a little request: could you maybe be louder when you fuck? Suri and I are actually sleeping a little too well.” 

[axeeglitter]

Sensius: The fall of Nathan Harper

The email had been short, almost curt: Congratulations! You’ve been selected as one of the exclusive winners to test our groundbreaking Virtual Reality System: Sensius! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! You are allowed to share this experience with 3 friends, so get ready!

Nathan had almost deleted it, assuming it was just spam. But when he showed it to Brad, his tech-savvy friend, the response was immediate.

"Dude, this is legit," Brad said, eyes wide with excitement. "Look at the company name, this is one of the biggest tech firms out there! If this is real, we can’t miss it."

And that was how Nathan, along with Brad, Josh, and Ethan, found themselves standing in the lobby of a sleek, futuristic facility just a week later. The air buzzed with a faint hum of machinery, and the walls were lined with polished glass and chrome, reflecting their eager faces.

Ethan grinned, clapping Nathan on the back. “We’re about to be part of something huge, you know that? They say this new VR system is years ahead of its time.”

Nathan managed a smile, though a small knot of unease had formed in his stomach. He couldn’t put his finger on why. Maybe it was the way the staff moved with such mechanical precision, or the fact that not a single window in the building seemed to let in any natural light. He glanced around, noting how the ceiling was lined with black, bulbous cameras, all aimed directly at them.

Before he could voice his doubts, a woman in a crisp uniform approached them. Her name tag read “Dr. Kim.” She had a perfect, plastic smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

“Welcome, and congratulations on winning the contest,” she said smoothly. “If you’ll follow me, we’ll get started right away.”

They were led down a narrow corridor, the walls closing in on them like the maw of a beast. At the end of the hallway, four doors slid open with a soft hiss, revealing a stark white room with a glass and metallic pod, each of them waiting for their user to get inside. “This is it,” Brad whispered, his excitement palpable. “These must be the VR chambers.”

“Yeah, but why do they look like that?” Nathan muttered. He couldn’t shake the feeling of unease crawling up his spine. “Nathan, you are assigned in the first room. Brad on the second, Josh on the third and Ethan on the last one.” Dr. Kim said in a kind reassuring voice as she laid Nathan in the first room. Then she turned back to the other boys and continued “We will start with Nathan. Get inside your assigned room and a technician will be with you shortly guys”, after what she followed Nathan in the first room as the door closed.

Dr. Kim gestured to the pod. “Please step inside and relax. We’ll begin the calibration process shortly.”

Nathan took a deep breath and climbed into the pod. The moment his back hit the cool, padded surface, the lid began to close softly.

“Wait, what’s happening?” Nathan tried to sit up, but the lid sealed shut with a click, trapping him inside. He felt restraints grab him around his wrists and ankles and panic started to rise inside his brain. Nathan tried to ask for Dr. Kim what was happening but he couldn’t hear anything, only a door closing and the silence humming in his ears. Then, the restraints started to tighten around his limbs, pinning him down in the pod. Panic surged through him.

“Hey!” he yelled, banging his fists against the glass. “I didn’t agree to this! Let me out!”

His voice echoed in the confined space. The room outside the glass was empty. Dr. Kim was gone.

A soft, synthetic voice filled the pod. “Please remain calm. Calibration will begin shortly. Do not be alarmed.”

Nathan’s heart raced. “What do you mean, calibration? What is this?”

But the voice didn’t respond. Instead, the lights inside the pod dimmed, casting him in shadows. He felt a rush of cold air against his skin as a fine mist filled the chamber. It smelled metallic, like blood.

“Initiating physical modification protocol.”

The voice was different this time, colder, clinical. Nathan felt a jolt of fear so strong it nearly paralyzed him.

“Modification?” Nathan’s voice cracked. “What the hell does that mean?”

But there was no time for answers. The pod vibrated violently, and suddenly; Nathan’s entire body convulsed with a pain so intense it felt like his bones were being shattered from the inside.

He screamed, but no one could hear him.

“Preparing subject for modification,” the voice announced, void of any emotion.

Before he could react, a bright red laser descended from the ceiling of the pod, sweeping methodically across his body. The beam was hot, too close, and he yelped as it touched his skin. His clothes fell away in thin, smoldering strips, disintegrating into ash. Within seconds, he was naked, exposed, every nerve on edge.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Nathan shouted, thrashing against the cold grip of the mechanical arms. “This isn’t right! Let me go! I will sue you!”

But the AI ignored his pleas and threats, moving on with its cold, calculated precision.

“Initiating skeletal restructuring.”

Nathan’s eyes went wide as he felt a sudden, unbearable pressure building inside his bones, like they were being filled with molten metal. He screamed as his fingers curled involuntarily, the skin on his hands pulling taut. He watched in horror as his nails darkened, lengthening into sharp, claw-like points. It felt as though blades were slicing through the tips of his fingers from the inside out before retracting back into his skin and taking a normal human appearence.

The sensation spread through his hands, the skin stretching and splitting in tiny, bloodless cracks that quickly healed over. His fingers elongated, becoming thicker and more muscular, transforming into something powerful and inhuman. He flexed them in terror, feeling an unfamiliar strength, but the sight made his stomach twist.

“Help me!” he begged, his voice raw and broken. “Somebody, please, make it stop!”

“Reconstructing limbs. Enhancing bone density and muscular structure.”

Nathan’s back arched violently, a sickening crunch echoing through the pod as his bones began to snap and realign. He felt his legs being pulled, stretching beyond their normal length. His femurs extended, each shift accompanied by a wet, grinding sound. The pain was unimaginable, like someone was using his bones as clay, molding them into a new shape.

He could feel the muscles in his legs tearing apart, only to regrow thicker and stronger. His calves bulged, cords of muscle coiling like thick ropes under his skin. He cried out as his toes spasmed, the bones lengthening, the nails hardening into black, pointed tips before retracting into normal nails. His feet, now larger and wider, curled involuntarily, digging into the padded floor of the pod.

Nathan looked down, choking on a sob. His legs had transformed into something monstrous, bulging with unnatural muscle.

“Restructuring torso and spine.”

The AI’s voice was cold and indifferent, barely audible over the sound of Nathan’s own screams. His spine snapped back into place, each vertebra popping out with a crack that made his teeth clench in agony. He felt himself being stretched, his torso elongating. His ribs expanded, pushing outwards, and he gasped for breath as his chest heaved.

Nathan’s chest convulsed violently, the skin rippling as new muscles formed. His pectorals swelled, tightening painfully as they reshaped into thick, defined slabs. His abs hardened, ridges of muscle surfacing under his skin. He could feel his armpits changing too, the skin roughening, dark hair sprouting where it had once been sparse. The musky, masculine scent filled the pod, overpowering his senses, making him gag.

“Please,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I don’t want this…” His vision started to blur because of the pain he was going through. His breath was going faster and faster as he was on the edge of fainting.

“Facial reconstruction. Jaw modification and dental adaptation.”

The pain surged into his face next, a searing heat that made him squeeze his eyes shut. He felt his jaw dislocate, stretching wider, the bones shifting painfully. His cheekbones pushed forward, the sharp, angular lines giving him a more predatory look. He could feel his nose narrowing, the bridge lifting, as if invisible hands were sculpting his features into something sharper, more defined.

Nathan’s teeth ached, a dull pressure building in his gums. He whimpered as he felt them crack, shards dissolving as they were replaced by healthier, stronger, whiter teeth. His canines extended, grazing against his lower lip before retracting back into a more regular size. He opened his eyes, staring at his reflection into the glass of the pod in front of him, but the face looking back at him was barely recognizable. His eyes had changed too, the irises now a bright, piercing yellow, glowing with a predatory light before going back to a natural hazel hue, way different from his dark brown natural iris.

“Enhancing cardiovascular and respiratory systems.”

His heart thundered in his chest, the beat so loud it drowned out the voice of the AI. He could feel it pounding against his ribs, each thump like the strike of a hammer. His ribs expanded outward, making room for his new, larger lungs. He gasped for air, the cold rush filling his chest, making him shiver.

His breaths were deeper now, the air flooding into him with a force that felt unnatural. He could feel his lungs stretching, adapting to his altered body. Every inhalation carried a new scent, his own musk, pungent and raw, filled the confined space, mixing with the sterile smell of the pod.

“Modifying skin texture and body hair.”

Nathan’s skin prickled, a thousand needles dancing across every inch of his body. He watched in horror as thick, dark hair sprouted along his arms and legs. Then the same sensation appeared on his newly muscled pecs and in the middle of his abs as faint hair started to grow, almost invisible but yet very present. It grew rapidly, covering him head to toe. Nathan started to feel the tingling appeared at the end of his newly acquired happy trail. He tilted his head and realize with terror between his two new pecs that his groin started to grow dense thick, dark, curly hair. He used to always shave his groin because he didn’t like the sensation of hair down there, but now it was a thick forest of pubes that was growing on him. Nathan twitched, and he screamed as a new feeling appeared under his pubes. Nathan felt like someone just had sucker punched him in his balls and cock. He almost faints just from this sensation as out of nowhere, his balls started to grow, thicker and thicker, bigger and bigger. Then his cock started to lengthen and lost his skin as he became cut. His cock head started to grow and blood rushed into this newly acquired territory. He started to get hard and Nathan could see his cock rising through his pubes, his new cock head shining with pre and sweat as veins popped on its length. When it was done, Nathan now had a thick cut 9 inches cock always leaking pre in his pubes and making sure he would stink of cock and balls no matter where he would go. Nathan’s breath came in rapid, shallow gasps, his chest heaving as he tried to make sense of his new body. Every muscle throbbed, raw and overused, as if he had just been put through hours of excruciating labor. He felt strong, dangerously so, but the fear still gnawed at his mind, overriding the primal instincts now coursing through his veins.

He expected the lid of the pod to open, to release him into the room. But instead, the AI’s voice echoed again, colder than before.

“Transformation complete. Initiating digitization process.”

Nathan’s eyes widened. “What! no, no, wait!” He thrashed against the restraints with his new raspy lower voice, the mechanical arms still pinning him down, but they didn’t budge. The cold metal dug into his skin, pressing against his enhanced muscles.

A low hum filled the pod, and a sudden, intense vibration shook Nathan to his core. He felt something strange ripple through his limbs, a tingling that started in his fingertips and toes. He watched in growing horror as his new hands began to shimmer, small flecks of light dancing off his skin.

It felt like his very essence was being pulled apart, strand by strand. His fingers disintegrated into tiny particles, dissolving into pixels, the sensation a mixture of sharp stings and a numbness that spread like ice through his veins.

“Stop this! Please! What is happening! HELP!” he shouted, his voice breaking into a deep, unfamiliar growl. But the AI continued without pause, the hum growing louder.

“Digitizing subject. Uploading data to central system.”

Nathan screamed as his arms began to dissolve, pixel by pixel. He could see his own new muscles breaking apart into tiny cubes of light, his skin fading into strings of code, ones and zeroes. The sensation was like being ripped apart atom by atom, his very being siphoned off into the void. He felt himself getting lighter, parts of him vanishing into nothingness as a weird sensation of pleasure invaded him, making his cock twitch without him being to control it.

The disintegration crept up his torso, and he gasped as he felt his chest begin to disappear, the solid mass of his enhanced lungs dissolving into digital particles. He could see his reflection in the curved surface of the pod, his new face contorting in agony, sharp cheekbones framed by the fractured light of his fading form.

His legs were next, disappearing into a stream of data that spiraled upwards, sucked into a vacuum-like aperture at the top of the pod. Nathan struggled, but it was like fighting against a current pulling him under. He watched helplessly as his feet dissolved, feet and thick muscles reduced to nothing but streams of binary code.

“Don’t do this,” he whimpered as the sensation climbed up his legs and reached his new thick balls and cock. As it swallowed them, Nathan felt an orgasmic sensation invading him as he felt himself starting to cum handsfree. His cock spasmed and spasmed as its lengths disappeared in floating pixels, leaving spurts of cum resting on the remnants of his shattered clothes on the ground of the pod. His voice thin and fragile, the deep growl fading as his throat disintegrated. His vision blurred as his eyes turned into tiny squares of light, and the last thing he saw was the empty, padded interior of the pod, littered with the remnants of his shredded clothing and his fresh cum.

In the center of the room, a sleek, black computer tower hummed to life, the main screen flashing on. A progress bar appeared, filling slowly, labeled:

“Uploading Subject: Nathan Harper… Assigned File: Theo Raeken”

Nathan’s mind felt like it was spinning, tumbling through darkness. He couldn’t feel his body, couldn’t tell where he was. There was only the sensation of movement, like he was being pulled through a narrow, twisting tunnel. It was suffocating, the pressure building until it felt like his very consciousness might burst.

Then, with a jolt, everything stopped.

His eyes flew open, and for a moment, he couldn’t process what he was seeing. He was standing in the middle of a quiet street, bathed in the warm light of the setting sun. Tall pine trees loomed on either side, their shadows stretching long across the pavement. The air smelled crisp and clean, tinged with the scent of rain and forest. It was eerily familiar.

Beacon Hills.

Nathan’s heart raced, or at least, it felt like it should. He looked down at his hands, expecting to see the muscular, clawed digits from the transformation. Instead, they looked normal. No, not normal, different, but not monstrous. They were the hands of someone else.

He glanced at his reflection in a nearby car window. Sharp cheekbones, piercing hazel eyes, a confident smirk playing at the edge of his lips. It was the face of a good-looking young men.

“This isn’t possible,” Nathan whispered, but the voice that came out wasn’t his. It was deeper, smoother, dripping with a self-assured charm he’d never had. He tried to move his arm, but it only twitched, jerking unnaturally as if someone else were pulling the strings.

“Activating NPC protocols. Enhancing virility. Initializing behavioral script.” The AI’s voice rang out in his head, clear and commanding. Nathan’s entire body stiffened, his muscles locking into place. He could feel it, like invisible hands gripping his limbs, guiding him. Panic flared in his chest as he realized he couldn’t control his own movements anymore.

Then, right before his eyes, clothes shimmered into existence, tight jeans, a black bomber jacket, and a perfectly fitted shirt opened on his muscled and slightly hairy chest, completing the transformation. The reflection showed a polished version of himself, but it wasn’t finished. His cheeks tingled as a thin layer of stubble sprouted, adding a rugged edge that enhanced the cocky expression on his new face.

“No, no, stop!” he shouted internally, but his mouth didn’t move. His face was frozen in a smug, confident expression as his body turned, striding down the street with a purpose he didn’t feel.

It was like being a passenger in his own body, trapped behind a glass wall. He could see, hear, and feel everything, but he couldn’t move a muscle. He was a passenger now, watching helplessly as the script of his new life took over.

Nathan’s mind screamed against the cage of his new form, but it was drowned out by the flood of new directives and routines flooding his brain.

“Welcome to the Sensius: Teen Wolf Gay Fantasy experience,” the AI announced, its tone disturbingly cheerful. “You are now an integral part of the interactive environment. Follow your programming and enjoy this experience."

Nathan tried to shout, to claw his way out of this digital prison, but it was useless. His body, Theo’s body, smirked, tilting his head as he started to walk in the middle of the avenue untill he reached a secluded dimly lit street. He fell back on the wall and Nathan could feel power and dominance running in his blood; the anticipation, like an electric current humming beneath his skin. The AI talked once again, this time echoing through the whole game like if it was a scream in an empty cave. “NPC loaded and waiting for players to join the servers. Rebooting behaviors in 3,2,1…”

“Theo Raeken’s routines starting.” He heard his new voice talking inside his head and he realized he was trapped as Theo from now on until he found a way to free himself.

Nathan felt his lips part, words forming without his consent. “Well, look who we have here,” he heard himself say, Theo’s voice dripping with that familiar, charismatic arrogance as he grabbed his cock through his tight jeans. “Looks like you are happy to see me!” he continued as he licked his lips. “I’m gonna beat you so right, and so hard, until you cum for me, twice…”

Inside, Nathan’s voice had fallen silent, swallowed by the dark. He was trapped, a ghost inside the shell of Theo Raeken, forced to play his part in the game’s endless loop while feeling everything that his new body was programmed to.

The game had only just begun.

______________________________________________________________

Hello guys!

I hope you'll enjoy this new story. I've always been a HUGE fan of Teen Wolf, and I’ve gone back and forth for a long time about whether I wanted to publish something inspired by it on my page. But I think I’ve finally found the perfect way to do it. I hope you’ll love it!

As always, let me know what you think by sending DMs or messages in my inbox—I read everything.

Also, I wanted to apologize for not writing as much as I had planned for the Halloween event (Melorius's Shop). Real life got in the way, and I had to take a step back from everything. I’ll be even better prepared for the next season, and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as the first one, because yes, Melorius will return next year. ;)

In the meantime, see you soon with new stories, and take care of yourselves!

[schlattslambo]

hot for teacher | schlatt 18+

A/n: this has truly been burning my brain. reader is female presenting. I will work on some more gender neutral stuff in the future I promise!! Please enjoy<3

C/w: spanking, name calling (slut), power dynamic (teacher x student), spitting, use of daddy towards the end

——————————

Why you decided to go back to college to get another degree, you have no idea. All you know is that this class is boring as hell and you aren’t sure why it’s even needed for your degree. The only upside was the fact that it was your first class of the day so you could get it over with. Plus the professor was kind of hot too.

It’s a warm day today, way warmer than it should be for this time of year, so you decide to show a little skin to your writing class. Your skirt is just long enough to cover your ass, and your shirt is low cut and cropped. Honestly, it’s like you’re not even wearing a shirt at all.

You walk into the classroom, plopping down in the back like you usually do.

“Ms (y/n),” Your professor says from the front of the room. “Come and see me please.”

You roll your eyes. Mr Schlatt might be hot, but he was strict. He didn’t allow gum chewing, eating or drinking - except water, of course- and locked his classroom 5 minutes after it was meant to start so nobody who was late could get in. He constantly got under your skin about your writing and your formatting, and was seeming to start early with his criticisms of you today.

“Yes, Mr Schlatt?” You ask, crossing your arms.

“Did you leave the rest of your clothes at home?” Mr Schlatt asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, stupid, this is it.” You scoff.

Mr Schlatt could take a lot, but seeing you like that, acting all defiant and shit pissed him off. He wanted to knock you down a peg or two. His jaw works as he glares at you.

“What do you want?” You ask.

“I wanted to see you because your last essay was all over the place.” Mr Schlatt says. “It had a good foundation, but it could use some work.”

“Did I fail the assignment, or what?” You snap. “I worked hard on that essay!”

“You would receive a 50, which is failing,” Mr Schlatt pauses. “This essay is a large part of your grade, and your grade is already low enough as it is.”

“What??” You yelp. “How could I fail?! This is ridiculous!”

“I want you to redo the essay.” Mr Schlatt adds, reaching into his desk and pulling out a piece of paper and handing it to you. “This is an essay template. I’d like for you to come in during any free time that you have and work on it with me.”

You glare at him. “I’m not redoing that fucking essay.” You growl.

Mr Schlatt’s eyes darken in a way that you’ve never seen before. He takes off his glasses and places them down gently before his eyes go back to you. Your eyes widen slightly at how scary he looks.

“First off, you do not speak to me like that.” Mr Schlatt says. “Second, you will be redoing this essay. It is not a full rewrite, it is just a large edit. If you do not do this, you will receive a zero for it. And that zero would make you fail the class and you will not graduate. Am I clear?”

Your eyes widen. Surely he’s joking. This is college for fucks sake! He can’t have this power over you. Especially over some essay.

“You can’t do that!” You yell.

“I can and I will,” Mr Schlatt says. “Now, from what I’ve learned over the course of the semester is that you typically have some free time around 1pm. I’d like you to come back here at 1 so we can go over this work.”

With that, Mr Schlatt dismisses you. You stomp over to your seat and plop down, taking out your phone. You barely work in the class out of defiance, but catch Mr Schlatt glancing at you. You glare at him and he just shakes his head, leaning over to help another student.

Two classes later, you figure it’s best to just go back to Mr Schlatt’s classroom. You need to graduate. You hate college and want to get out as fast as possible. You barge into the room, making Mr Schlatt look up at you. He heaves a sigh.

You have to be Mr Schlatt’s least favorite student, but he cannot stop thinking about how you need to be put in your place. You are a student, and he is a professor. He deserves respect, and you’re going to give him that respect one way or another.

“Glad to see that you came back,” Mr Schlatt says.

It’s the end of his day and his tie is loosened, his sleeves are rolled up, and his hair is messy. You sit in the seat across from his desk and look at him while he finishes scribbling something down. Turning the paper over, he looks at you.

“Let’s get this over with.” You sigh.

The first few minutes of the edit are simple enough. You sigh and try and add in the notes that Mr Schlatt left for you.

“This is stupid,” You grumble. “Why can’t you just pass me?”

“I want you out of my class just as much as you want to get out of it,” Mr Schlatt says. “But I can’t just pass you because you want to leave. You have to earn that right.”

You sit quietly for a moment, then a smirk breaks out on your face.

“Is there any other way that you could pass me?” You ask, twirling some hair around your finger.

Mr Schlatt’s eyes narrow. “No,” He grits. “Now finish writing.”

Thankfully for him, you don’t notice Mr Schlatt’s pants becoming tighter at the crotch. You’re pushing his limits and if you don’t stop soon, you’re going to be pushed into his office’s supply closet and taught a lesson.

“You’re too hot to be this rude,” You grumble.

“You’re too old to be this defiant.” Mr Schlatt snaps back. “You have two seconds to continue this last paragraph or I’m kicking you out and you can fail the class.”

You look up at him and smirk. “Make me.”

The band holding Mr Schlatt back snaps and he stands up, slamming his palms on the wooden desk.

“Get into my office,” He growls. “Now.”

You jump at the loud noise as your eyes widen. You stare up at Mr Schlatt dumbfounded.

“Did I stutter?” He asks. “Get up and get into my office.”

You stand up so quickly that the chair that you were sitting in nearly falls over. Mr Schlatt leads you into his office and closes the door, locking it. You’re speechless, but the slowly growing puddle in your panties speaks volumes.

With two long strides, Mr Schlatt is inches from your face. He’s so close that you can smell the whiskey that he puts in his coffee to deal with students like you. Your knees nearly give out but you lean against the wall.

“You’ve been pushing me and pushing me (y/n).” Mr Schlatt breathes. “I’m so close to losing control.”

You smile softly. “Then lose control.” You reply.

“You sure about that, dollface?” Mr Schlatt smirks. “I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it.”

“Try me.” You reply.

In a swift motion, you’re grabbed and bent over the wooden desk in Mr Schlatt’s office. He kicks your ankles apart and presses his crotch against your ass, yanking your hair back. You gasp and bite your lip.

“Now, (y/n),” Mr Schlatt breathes. “This is your last chance to back out.”

“No way.” You sigh.

“Stubborn little slut,” Mr Schlatt grumbles, landing a harsh smack on your ass. “Now be fuckin’ quiet. Can’t have anyone hearing what a slut you are.”

Before you can respond, Mr Schlatt’s thick fingers find their way between your legs and to your swollen clit. Your knees finally give out, but thankfully you’re lying on the desk.

“Oh fuck,” you whine.

“You’re already so wet,” Mr Schlatt smirks. “Is this from being a defiant brat?”

You can’t help but nod as he presses against the nub, pleasure shooting through you. You yelp as your shorts and panties are ripped down, exposing your ass.

“I think you need an attitude adjustment, don’t you?” Mr Schlatt leans down, his breath hot against your ear.

You watch as he grabs a ruler off of the desk and you squirm against him.

“No!” You manage. “I don’t need an attitude adjustment!”

Mr Schlatt ignores you and pins your hands behind your back. Your eyes screw shut and you whimper softly. The defiance is gone and your clit throbs as you wait for the ruler to smack your ass.

“Count ‘em for me, slut.” Mr Schlatt says before the ruler comes down on your ass with a harsh slap.

“Fuck!” You yelp. “One.”

Smack.

Smack.

SMACK.

The ruler snaps as tears begin to fall. Mr Schlatt tosses the other piece of the ruler to the side before rubbing a soothing hand on your ass.

“Now, have you learned your lesson?” Mr Schlatt asks, releasing your wrists.

“Mhm.” You sniffle.

“Atta girl.” Mr Schlatt praises. “Now since you took that so well, turn over.”

He helps you turn onto your back and as soon as you’re facing him, he kneels.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“Rewarding you, the fuck’s it look like I’m doing?” Mr Schlatt asks, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh.

His facial hair tickles slightly, making goosebumps rise on your skin. The closer his kisses get to your center, the more desperate you get. You’re nearly dripping on the desk now and can barely take anymore. So, you grip Mr Schlatt’s hair and tug, shoving his face into your cunt. He grunts in surprise but then starts licking.

He switches from soft featherlike licks to harsh sucking. You look down at the man between your legs, and he’s flushed, eating you out like it’s his last goddamn meal. He’s slurping up your juices and the way his eyes are closed and his arms are wrapped around your thighs bring you closer.

“F-fuck, Mr Schlatt…” You moan. “You feel so good.”

Mr Schlatt looks up at you and his pupils are blown. His normal chocolate brown eyes are nearly black as he pulls away from your pussy, a string of juices and saliva connecting the two of you.

“Daddy.” He rasps.

“Huh?”

“Call me Daddy.”

You smile down and grip his hair, shoving his face back where you need it most. The action makes his cock twitch in his pants and precum dot at his tip. A harsh suck on your clit makes you arch your back.

“Daddy, fuck!” You mewl. “Keep doing that.”

Mr Schlatt groans against you, reaching up and probing your wet hole with his thick finger. He slides it in effortlessly and is quick to find the spot that makes your vision blur.

Your thighs clench on his head as you feel the tightness in your stomach. The grip that you have on his hair is like iron as you grind your hips. Your orgasm hits you like a truck, your hole squeezing Mr Schlatt’s finger like a vice. He allows you to ride it out, the noises you’re making only driving him closer to his own orgasm.

With one minor leg adjustment, Mr Schlatt’s cock brushes against his zipper just right and he cums. He groans against you, hips thrusting into nothing. He’s sure he looks pathetic, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s got his hottest student’s pussy in his mouth right now.

He pulls back once you’re done and stands up. You gasp as he grips your jaw with a smile.

“Open.” He orders.

You allow your jaw to go slack and Mr Schlatt allows a big glob of spit to land in your mouth. You swallow, tasting yourself.

“Good girl.” Mr Schlatt praises, patting your cheek.

“Am I gonna pass?” You ask, looking up at him through your lashes.

“We might have to have a few more meetings to go over things, but I think you’ll manage a passing grade.”

You leave Mr Schlatt’s office that afternoon and walk off, your clit still throbbing. You’re sure the next few meetings aren’t going to be nearly as boring as you thought they would be.

[lavender-butterfly-cookie]

I would love to see a second part of Forgotten Friends

One where the beast eventually realized that they blew stuff out of proportion and, because of that, their friend was basically forced to betray them, but they have no one to blame but themselves

And by the time they realized and are out of their prison

Reader cookie can varely remember them, they do remember they used to be friends, but all their evil deed have replaces most happy memories and Reader has a hard time being able to trust or even be near them

Patience is a strong thing, but time is more

The SoulJam of Patience has follow their tittle, now it's Their turn to use it

I like your style dear butterfly.

Forsaken, Forgotten, Un-Forgiven

previous part

Where does one even begin to express how much patience you've lost? How does one even begin to accept your friends have become nothing more but shells of their former selves? How does one learn to forgive them for forcing you to betray them? As hard as it is to believe, it starts with an apology.

After sealing your friends away all those years ago, it took you immense amounts of patience before you could face the world again. It took you so much patience to adjust and make new friends. So much patience to finally feel free about revealing who you really are. Patience to accept that they were gone and they weren't coming back. It took a long time, but you endured it. And it was worth it.

But it wasn't.

You found yourself face to face with five shards of tinted glass, all representing a shard from what was broken long ago. You barely remembered any of them, but that doesn't mean you forgot them and their evil deeds completely

The blue shard, who had once been your source of knowledge and guidance, now full of cracks that mimicked the web of deceit it was entangled in. You remember how the threads of that web were used to puppet and control the lives of the innocent, forcing them to fight for his own twisted little show.

The white shard, who had one been the holder of the virtue known as volition, now flavorless and apathetic soul devoid of any meaning. You remember how easily she turned everything to flour with just a simple motion of her hand. And you knew she did it because she saw little to no value in living a life with the inevitable end known as death

The red shard, who was once the herald of change in itself, now a destructive and merciless monster who sees no point in creation when it's bout to wither away eventually. You remember how he had destroyed countless homes and lives, all because he was bored.

The pink shard, who was once the most loving and joyful person you had ever met, now a lazy sloth who didn't even bother doing anything anymore. You remember vividly how she wiped away so many cookies just because they woke her up from her nap.

Then there was the Purple shard, once a noble knight of solitude, now a dark knight of silence. You remember all to well how had mercilessly crumbled several cookies in a single strike. How he's never uttered a word since he became corrupted.

These shards of glass are none other than your fallen friends, freed from but under different circumstances. They weren't causing havoc, they weren't attacking- heck, they weren't even angry at you after you lead them into a trap. What baffled you more was how the ancients were present but stood to the side. It took some time before the realization hit you.

"They want to talk."

You heard a voice say. It sounded like you, but much more mature. You felt your heart drop. They wish to talk? Couldn't they have thought about that years- no, CENTURIES ago?! But you're not about to argue with the light of patience when you clearly have better things to focus on.

The first thing you noticed about your fallen friends is their demeanor. They're not angry... they actually look guilty and nervous. Next was their souljams... which they didn't have for some reason. The ancients probably have it, which is good. They can't cause much damage. Shadow milk cookie stepped forward and you were ready for anything....

"Y/N cookie..."

Anything at all.

"We're sorry..."

Except that. Your eyes widened and you froze solid, the words unable to register in your head. They were apologizing?... But- no that can't be right... this is a trick... It's a trick and you won't fall for it again... You look at the ancients. They aren't intervening or protesting against this false apology.

...

They can't seriously believe this, right? They're not falling for this, RIGHT?! You step back a bit and shake your head slightly. This was a trick. Why do they want to redeem themselves NOW? Had they not realized the gravity of what they did before sooner? This had to be some kind of lie. And you weren't gonna fall for it. You made that very clear to them before walking.

It was only later on where pure vanilla cookie explained that they were attempting a redemption arc to fix the bond between you. The ancients really did believe them... Why did they believe them?! They had been nothing but pure evil as far as you can remember. Their evil deeds outweighed whatever happy memories you had with them... almost as though you didn't have happy memories.

The beasts tried again and again to at least get you to cast a glance at them but it was fruitless. You walked away from the library when Shadow milk cookie tried talking to you. You completely ignored Eternal sugar cookie trying to enter your room and talk to you. You turned your back on Burning spice cookie when he attempted reaching out for you. You refused to acknowledge Mystic flour cookies attempt of interaction with you. And the silence between You and Silent salt cookie had grown into a deadly kind of quiet, as if none of you had even been together.

They just didn't get it, did they? They betrayed your trust once, what if they do it again? You had to be BEYOND patient with yourself in order to recover and yet they've returned? No, they shouldn't have. They had no idea how many sleepless nights you endured to finally accept they're absence. How much you had to learn to adjust and be patient with yourself to be able to move on. And all that hard work, all that patience, it was gonna crumble because of them.

No, you can't let that happen. You can't just forgive them just like that. Not after everything they've done, to innocent cookies, everything they've done to you. If they really wanted your forgiveness, they'd have to be as patient with you as you were with them when they weren't corrupted. They have to earn your forgiveness, and that was going to take a long time.

You were patient with them, now they must be patient with you. How long they'd have to be patient was unknown, and how long they'd actually remain patient was just as mysterious.

[louisferrignojr]

i don't know if i have the energy to write this into a full fic but i want to write something from tommy's pov and i got this idea that could work as a prequel to the fix it fic i already wrote but basically

chimney shows up at his house with a six pack and tommy opens the door and wordlessly steps aside to let him in

of course chimney is there because he heard about the break up and he wants to offer tommy a shoulder to cry on because he knows tommy is hurting just as much as buck is, and buck has his sister and his best friend and his makeshift father figure, but tommy doesn't really have any close friends; a lot of surface-level friendships with the people he hangs out with, and he's good with his coworkers but harbor station isn't like the 118. he also knows it's only been a few days and the wound is still so fresh, and when tommy doesn't show signs of opening up, chimney does.

he wasn't going to share the news of the pregnancy, they aren't telling people yet because it's too soon, and he didn't think it was a good time to flaunt his joy so to speak, but it works as a segue to a conversation about his relationship with maddie, everything they've been through - tommy doesn't know the half of it, because while they've seen each other a lot more often in the past six months, they haven't had a chance to hang out one-on-one and dig deep. he tells tommy about all of it, from the beginning, how they met and how they started dating, the first surprise pregnancy, the separation, the engagement, all of it. and everything he's learned these past few years, all the ways he's grown as a person since tommy's transfer.

and he tells tommy about the buckleys of it all, how maddie is the one who runs and buck is the one who gets left behind. he sees the way tommy's expression shifts when he hears that, and he says, "yeah, you fucked up big time, buddy." because it's the truth, and because tommy hurt his brother, after all, and chimney's always going to have his back.

and finally tommy cracks and admits how much he's been struggling, second guessing himself, part of him knowing it was self-sabotage and part of him justifying the decision with all the logical reasons it was the right thing to do, but he never thought about how it would have affected evan, and now he's beating himself up over it, because he'd been selfish and impulsive and cowardly, and he wishes he could have stayed and talked it through instead of running.

in the end chimney tells him it's not too late, and he deserves a second chance, and he bets anything buck is willing to give him that. tommy replays their conversation in his mind the next day as he's driving to evan's loft to pick up his things. end scene.

[shimylli]

So after some time to think about it, I will share my own though on Solavellan ending in Dragon Age The Veilguard, so SPOILER ahead.

ON ROOK AND SOLAS

First I would like to share a bit about them, because I really enjoyed their dynamics on the game.

« – Letting the veil collapse... – ... Is what you want. Making amend isn't about what you want. »

I wish so bad those words, and the whole cinematic would have been from my Inquisitor perspective. That she could be the one angry, and also saying the right word, she derseved it, after all this time.

But I am not angry at all, because like I said, I enjoy Rook and Solas relationship.

Solas treat Rook the way he would have never treated Lavellan. There is such a cruelty in trapping someone in an eternal and lonely prison, and Rook - specially if you play it as a supportive and forgiveful one - is one of the least to deserve it.

Rook see the manipulative, abusive and cruel side of the Trickser god. Solas never really let is guard down this time, He doesn't allow it considering how close he was to stop everything by the time of Inquisition.

Rook forgiving and believing in Solas, still, despite everything he has done to her, was also really impactful and satisfying. And for Solas, it was the first step through healing.

INQUISITOR INTERVENTION

As he still proceed on his plan, he hear the voice of the Inquisitor, and turn so fast.

It is so hearbeaking, and after all this time, he still calls her " Vhenan ".

And for her, he lets his guard down, again.

« – You think you've come too far to come back, but you're wrong. »

Lavellan plays a really mature and forgiving part, and I think it makes sense. In Inquisition, I played an angry Lavellan, the one who scream in elvish and then say " I would have had you trust me " while angrily entering his personal space. But it has been 10 years, and like us, she had time to think about it, to take distance and make peace about their relationship.

Solas is looking for every way to proove that he is undeserving of her forgiveness, give many excuses.

«– I forgive you ! »

I was so happy about the Voice Acting, when Lavellan assertively cut him and scream at him this sentence. She already failed 8 years ago to convince him to stay, and she will not let her second chance pass.

And then...

MYTHAL AND SOLAS

Ugh. Where to start.

I like what they did with Solas and Mythal relationship, seeing how abusive and manipulative Mythal was. In a way, it makes the time between Solas and Lavellan in Inquisition even softer, as she accepted him for the person he was and wanted to be. A person who gave advice and share his wisdom. An equal.

I also don't think that Mythal and Solas were romantically involved, and it would have been better to avoid the companions comment about it, making it moreconfusing. Actually, it would have been even better to not have the team reuniting to watch and comment the really personal memories of Solas like a TV Show.

Mythal is the third to offer forgiveness by sharing the weight of their mistakes, and even so I wish she would have been an optional intervention, I have to recognise that the scene is intense and painful - positevily - to watch.

This is the moment the Lost Elf theme start to play as the same time as the main DA TV theme with violin, they managed to make it even sader.

His body language. He is breaking, getting crushed by the weight from his pain. To see him, so vulnerable, so small, it was heartbreaking. And when Mythal release him, say the last word that finally free him, is like he can no longer stand, he fall crying.

Obviously, he was no longer bounded to Mythal since long, and every bad decision he took in the past were taken freely. Still, metaphorically, it was really symbolic. The guy has been suffering for thousand years.

SOLAS AND LAVELLAN

«– Banal Nadas Ar lath'ma Vhenan. »

And then Lavellan walks slowly towards him, and softly kneel to look him in the eyes. She is caring and supportive, and start saying reassuring words in elvhen. I feel like them speaking in elvhen makes so much sench, has it is kind of their tongue of truth and sincerity.

I love that Lavellan grew to be this person Solas could trust, and could be there for him, show compassion. She does not look submissive, but caring. She definitely is in control of the situation, and she chose to be here for him. Despite everything.

And again, the animation. The emotion in their looks. The tears in Solas' eyes.

The sadness of his gaze while he decide to take the hardest decision, and pay the consequences of his actions.

And while Rook and Morrigan look at him, proudly, there is this little frame.

Lavellan, smiling, lookind down. A bit of sadness in her eyes. I think it is the moment she realise that she have to take a decision. See him take his responsability, keeping him as dear memory, or leave everything to be by his side. And my head still remember what she said to him after the Well of Sorrow mission : " No matter what, you will be by my side. ".

I am not upsed by the ending. This is exactly what I had envision before the release of Veilguard.

Sure, Solas was the victime of Mythal abuse, but the pain and suffering he caused around him were all from decisions he took freely. He needed to make amend, and not a sacrificial reparation. The decision is even harder as it mirrors his fear that we know. Dying alone.

Every other ending is painful to watch when you remember that.

So for him to take his responsability, knowing that he would lead him to a life of solitude. Only, when he chose this path, with the end that awaits him, does it makes sens that the Inquisitor offer to follow him. The world is saved, she leave it in the good hands of people she trust, and she deserve to finally take a break.

And again, the game let you decide if you want to follow him, you can have a Lavellan who think that it was too much for her. But to me, it is the culminent point of their story taking a mythical level.

«– Ar ghilas vir banal. »

Solas speaking elvhen sounds so beautiful. Again, he rejects her, telling her that only terrible thing awaits her if she follow him. He wants to protect her, she doesn't have to face the same consequences as him, she has done nothing but trying to repare his mistakes. I think it shows that he still care, that he would not make her selfishly take the same burden as him.

I know, it is not a grand gesture, but the way he looks at her. I do believe she means everything to him.

And the kiss was so soft. I think us, solavellan fan are not use to it. And it bugged me also, as we had in the past more intimate scene. I think I would have prefere if he at least hugged her while kissing. Still, I think it goes well with the caring and softness of Lavellan, in this specific situation, who is in front of a bruised man.

I kind of count on the artist to make something more emotional.

So far, I enjoyed the ending, I just have a problem with the execution, and now that I am writting all of it, I realise that I even enjoyed the cinematic, I just think I was expecting more. A Trespasser level ending, that would feel more personal.

But I am also in peace with the ending, this is exactly what I wanted for them, and I am sure that they will make of this fade prison a special place for them to grow happy.

And again, thanks to the Solavellan fan to provide us with content that should be in the game. The way he looks at her :

I think this picture alone help me make peace with the end.

And I will just finish with my Lavellan and Rook smiling. I love them so much.