#if the only ads i ever saw where just generic animal pics i would have significantly less frustration with them ngl

[defiant-firefly]

Oh yeah and whenever I'm on Tumblr, if someone complains about ads it's usually due to the Pikaman or the Manscaped thing or whatever, right? Sucks to be you guys. All I get are general PSA's like not flushing wipes down the toilet, occasional Red Bull ads, selling an object that I THINK is fishing bait, the FNaF movie and fucking... Service dogs????

I'm not joking it's been mostly service dog related I'm literally having dogs on beaches shoved in my face lmao

[doolkat]

G5 SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

My thoughts! (cute pic added so it wont be just boring text)

So I just saw the movie.

I been waiting for this ever since it was announced. I gotta say I was skeptical about it first but now Im like 'huh I see"

General : lighthearted movie with good music.

Plot : mediogre, I wanted to know more what happend!?

Questions :like SUNNYS DAD??? he died HOW??? HOW.. WHY WERE THE placements in his house..? Why did everyone start hating each other? What happend to Twilight and her friends?

Im sure everyones ASKING these question and I feel like movie should had covered this but maybe its a work for the show.

Thoughts : I really loved the animation! outstaniding and so many refernces and little clues every where that Im not sure I picked these up. So much to notice! The FREAKING pinup calender of Hitch.. GAY... and yeH This leads me to thibk that they are adults like in their 20s? like why else would there be that kind of joke or idk. After all Sunny lives alone too and Izzy? Also Sprout literally has the man child vibes so I doubt they are really young. Late teens at max I think! THE GUARDS were so cute and funny.Dont mind if i SHIP em lol. Also Sprout lowkey gay we all know that. Their worlds were really pretty and I liked how funny sterotypes they all had of each other. The music was so good. Sprouts song is the best!! The ending makes me think SUNNYS wings and horn arent permanent. They were see threw so yeah that wont be a thing in the show so I dont think non of us need to scream about that. Really have so much questions and movie answered so little that it makes me think what did the movie told us? I did really enjoy it but did it explain enough about their current world to us? No absolutely not!

Unicorn/Pegasi/Earth pony:

Another intresting thing to note is how unicorns who use to be higher class ones in g4 are now primitive nations. They live in woods and didnt seem to have any tehnology ? They seem to be like this "hipster" society that lives in woods and collect crysthals and read poems. Anything to just get their time off. Earth ponies have a powerful propaganda going on. A very dictatorship kind of way of thinking. They all work as a little town society like all the tribes but earth ponies propaganda to hate and be scared of unicorns and Pegasi seems much stronger. Their society seems to me like a little town community kind of. They have some technology- doesnt seem to have smartphones but they have movies and other things. Pegasi seems to be most obssed with tehnology and celerbtiy and gossip media. Much like canterlot use to be with lots celebrities and higher class ponies. I guess they just needed soemtjing cuz they lost their abilty to fly so they all came obssed with royal family and celebrities and gossip culture. What im saying each tribe had their own way of coping with things. To unicorns this seemed to be the most hurtful because they had no "fake" hope like the Pegasi had who thought royal family only could fly.

Characthers: Im gonna get hate for this but I really liked Sprout? like I know he is man baby but I thought the dictator ship kind ruling was pretty funny and well he just wanted to make his mom proud. I liked that his mom wasnt insane either? like she saw that the power was getting to his head. Speaking of moms Queen Haven is icon. I like her. She just likes glamour and camera. Nothing wrong with that. I LAUGHED WHEN I SAW THAT THEY HAD GOLDEN JAIL. Pegasi are clearly very wealthy. Zipp to me in this movie was the weakest characther? she barely had any moments of her own. Pipp had more mean energry than i thought like I thought she was gonna be literally like OMG SLAAAY QUEEN YASSS all the time but she gladly wasnt. Im looking forward more to see both of the sisters and their differnces. Kinda reminds me of me and my sister tbh one is all about fashion and expensive things in life and I am well.. I like more earthy things. So im lookin forward seeing those two interact the most.Hitch was pretty cool. He is like mix of applejack and fluttershy. I like him, not bad at all but very charming and clearly adored in town. Ok now the best SUNNY AND IZZY!! they are kinda... fruity hehzhejdjej I MEAN NOT STRAIGHT but also I love how I could see them as literally soulmates in friend way.. the latern thing.. that was so sniff.. I CRIED OK.. SHRED SINGLE TEAR. anywayd Im glad Izzy isnt RANDOM XD RAWR kinda pony I thought shed be. Will see how they are treated later. SUNNY is just precious also SOCIALIST AF.. bruh zjejs idk how I feel about that like she has that vibe love and tolerance to all but it could go so wrong. But Im glad she didnt loose optimism fully in end! She is previous.

The plot is how it is so ILL give this movie solid 8/10. Enjoyable!

Anyways in general I think the movie was good! Go watch it. if not for anything else then the visuals and songs are really good!

[super-famicom-star-inactive]

Friday Special #7

January 9th, 2021

So it has come to my attention that when people talk about RPG Maker the series, many aren’t aware of how far back the series goes.

Did you know that series dates back to almost thirty years?

That’s right, next year will be the 30th anniversary of RPG Maker!

So why don’t we have a history lesson into arguably one of the most important franchises in gaming history?

Alright, where does the story begin for this iconic series?

According to sources, there has been games similar to RPG Maker that were made by ASCII (the original company behind RPG Maker) and that were released as far back as 1988, with the following titles:

Mamirin (1988)

Dungeon Manjirou (1988)

RPG Construction Tool: Dante (1990)

Dante 2 (1992)

Chimes Quest (1992)

The very first official RPG Maker title came in the form of RPG Tsukūru Dante 98, released on December 17, 1992. This game, along with its 1996 sequel RPG Tsukūru Dante 98 II, was originally made for the NEC PC-9801 Japanese home computers at the time. It was originally made when ASCII pulled from other games (listed above) and combined them together to create a RPG-making development title with its own toolkit. The genre of RPG specifically was thanks to the rise of JRPGs in recent years like Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy to name a few. 

The next major release of RPG Maker was in the form of RPG Tsukūru: Super Dante in 1995, which marked the very first time that the series has landed onto a console. The console was the Nintendo Super Famicom and it was later broadcasted a year later using the Satellaview service. While it did exhibit some restrictions in terms of content due to system limitations, it was famous for providing hundreds of character, monster and scenery assets with color swap palettes to save on memory in the cartridge as well as designing the stats of characters and monsters pre-determined by the player. It was said that the game was popular with players but sources are limited about actual reviews. RPG Tsukūru 2 is the sequel and it was released in 1996 on the Super Famicom as well. 

Windows saw the release of the third installment with RPG Tsukūru 95, which was released in 1997 and was the first of many RPG Maker titles for Windows. Unlike its predecessors, it boasted higher resolution in sprites and tilesets as well as higher screen resolution. It also has the honor of being the first version to have an unauthorized English translation and release due to demand. Also with this version, the number of party members was boosted to 8 people with the first 4 acting as the main battle party. RPG Tsukūru 95 Value! was released not long after with the added bonus of having Windows XP support, which was new at the time and very valuable. 

So when did the West finally receive an official version version of RPG Maker?

On November 27, 1997, Enterbrain released the following title RPG Tsukūru 3 for the original Playstation and chose to release the software simply as RPG Maker in the West three years later on October 2, 2000 under Agetec. This was the first time the West would finally receive a version of RPG Maker and experience the magic of RPG development, but it was reported that a limited run of copies were released outside of Japan. It was also one of thirty games that utilized the now-rare Playstation Mouse (which is usually an arm and a leg to import). Players got to customize their own assets using the Anime Maker that was also built into the game and, like the original Super Famicom versions, utilized color-swap palettes to save on memory. Another cool feature that was a first for the series was saving your created game onto a memory card so that you could share your creation with your friends.

One of the most beloved and popular versions of RPG Maker is next on the list and it is RPG Tsukūru 2000 for Windows on April 5, 2000. Despite the popularity, it was Japan-exclusive and it featured a lower resolution for graphics and assets overall than its RPG Maker 95 predecessor. Despite this, it boasted more functionality with unlimited sprite sheets and tilesets.

The last in that trio was RPG Tsukūru 2003, first released only in Japan in 2003 before being released worldwide in 2015. Improvements to this version included the side-view battle system that was popular in Final Fantasy, and interchangeable resources. From this point, the development company Enterbrain would take over RPG Maker as it was part of the ASCII company. 

Starting with the released of RPG Tsukūru 5 on the Playstation 2 in 2005, Enterbrain was starting to look into developing the series for an international audience of players. They would beginning to craft titles that are now iconic in the RPG development community, with the first of these releases being RPG Tsukūru XP (RPG Maker XP as it was known world-wide) released on Windows in 2004. While many of the simplified features have been removed from this version, it was the first RPG Maker game to use Ruby, a type of programming language first seen in 1995, and it was the first title to distribute assets online amongst the community thanks to the rise of the Internet. It allowed greater control over sprite size other gaming aspects, which helped it become more versatile than previous titles. However, a drawback is the steep learning curve, which was intimidating to new players. It was released to Steam in 2015.

The next modern RPG Maker title was the release of RPG Tsukūru VX (RPG Maker VX as it was known world-wide) in Japan in 2007, world-wide in 2008. It has the one-up over XP for its more user-friendly layout and faster framerate of 60fps over XP’s 40 fps. The programming was completely done over to be more accessible in scripting and the battle systems were now similar to Dragon Quest with a front-view battle system and detailed text. Because of these aspects and other improved features, it became a popular choice for modern developers since release. However, one of the biggest drawbacks was the lack of support for multiple tilesets when mapping that frustrated players. It was released to Steam in 2016.

Right after that, RPG Tsukūru VX Ace (RPG Maker VX Ace as it was known world-wide) was a direct sequel to the version mentioned above. Described as an “overhauled version of RPG Maker VX”, it removed the multiple tileset issue that plagued players in the previous version and re-introduced battle backgrounds during battle scenes. Magic and skill systems were re-worked to have their own recovery and damage formulas in the programming, and a new set of music tracks were accompanied in the database files. It was released to Steam in 2012.

Having the distinction of being released by Degica for the first time world-wide, RPG Tsukūru MV (RPG Maker MV as known world-wide), underwent quite a few adjustments by introducing multiplatform support as well as side-view battles and high resolution features and assets. For the first time, JavaScript replaced Ruby as the default programming language. Players also saw the return of layered tilesets, which were missing from the previous installments. Not only was it released for Windows, but also for PS4 and Nintendo Switch (A XBox One version was planned but unfortunately scrapped), giving players new ways to share games. It was released to Steam in 2015.

The newest installment to the famous series is RPG Tsukūru MZ (RPG Maker MZ as known world-wide), and it was just released last year in August of 2020. Reviews for the game were mixed as players noted that the trailers leading up to release were very similar to RPG Maker MV. It did have some positively-received features such as autosave functionality and XP-style autolayer mechanics. It was released to Steam in 2020. 

So with the history side taken care of, what about some of the most iconic games ever made using the software?

Good question! Given the extensive list of successful games to come out of RPG Maker, that will be a separate Friday Special so I can cover them more in-depth. Maybe next week perhaps?

So there you have it, a comprehensive history of RPG Maker!

(Now, there were some older Japanese titles that weren't mentioned because of lack of sources, I do apologize. I also wanted to stick more to the major installments of the franchise itself.)

Thoughts From The Head

I was formally introduced to RPG Maker by some mutuals of mine on Discord a few years ago when I expressed interest in wanting to create scenes like a movie of sorts. My software of choice is RPG Maker VX Ace as it was suggested to me for being better at creating events than any other version. It's understandably intimidating at first, especially for newcomers, but there are hundreds of tutorials on Steam, Youtube and all over the internet.

I also have other copies of RPG Maker, including the PS1 version of RPG Maker and even RPG Tsukūru: Super Dante for my Super Famicom that I just received a few days ago! It's definitely wild how much the series has grown and improved upon over the years.

From what I have been recommended by friends who are long-time players of this series, either go for RPG Maker MV (if you're interested in mapping) or RPG Maker VX Ace (if you're interested in creating events). From what I have seen, those two are some of the more popular choices. In terms of platform, always go for Steam (and get them on sale when you can) because you will have better accessibility and it's more user-friendly than the console versions. The abundance of community-generated assets also help.

To end this post, here's some pics from RPG Tsukūru: Super Dante!

[shiredded]

A white animation student’s take on Soul and POC cartoons

This got long but there’s lots of pretty pictures to go with it.

Hi, I’m Shire and I’m as white as a ripped-off Pegasus prancing on a stolen van. Feel free to add to my post, especially if you are poc. The next generation of animators needs your voice now more than ever.

My opinion doesn’t matter as much here because I’m not part of the people being represented. 

But I am part of the people to whom this film is marketed, and as the market, I think I should be Very Aware of what media does to me. 

And as the future of animation, I need to do something with what I know.

I am very white. I have blue eyes and long blond hair. I’ve seen countless protagonists, love interests, moms, and daughters that look like me. If I saw an animated character that looks like me turn into a creature for the majority of a movie, I would cheer. Bring it on! I have plenty of other representation that tells me I’m great just the way I am, and I don’t need to change to be likable. 

The moment Soul’s premise was released, many people of color expressed mistrust and disappointment on social media. Let me catch you up on the plot according to the new (march 2020) trailer. (It’s one of those dumb modern trailers that tells you the entire plot of the movie including the climax; so I recommend only watching half of it)

Our protagonist, Joe Gardner, has a rich (not in the monetary sense) and beautiful life. He has dreams! He wants to join a jazz band! So far his life looks, to me, comforting, amazing, heartfelt, and real. I’m excited to learn about his family and his music. 

Some Whoknowswhat happens, and he enters a dimension where everyone, himself included, is represented by glowing, blue, vaguely humanoid creatures. They’re adorable! But they sure as heck aren’t brown. The most common response seems to be dread at the idea of the brown human protagonist spending the majority of his screen time as a not-brown, not-human creature. 

The latest trailer definitely makes that look pretty darn true. He does spend most of the narrative - chronologically - as a blob. 

but

That isn’t the same as his screen time. 

From the look of the trailer, Joe and his not-yet-born-but-already-tired-of-life soul companion tour Joe’s story in all of its brown-skinned, human-shaped, life-loving glory. The movie is about life, not about magic beans that sing and dance about burping (though I won’t be surprised if that happens too.)

Basically! My conclusion is “it’s not as bad as it looked at first, and it looks like a wonderful story.”

but

That doesn’t mean it’s ok. 

Yes, Soul is probably going to be a really important and heartfelt story about life, the goods, the bads, the dreams, and the bonds. That story uses a fun medium to view that life; using bright, candy-bowl colors and a made-up world to draw kids in with their parents trailing behind. 

It’s a great story and there’s no reason to not create a black man for the lead role. There’s no reason not to give this story to people of color. It’s not a white story. This is great!

Except...

we’ve kind of

done this

a lot

The Book of Life and Coco also trade in their brown-skinned cast for a no-skinned cast, but I don’t know enough about Mexican culture to say those are bad and I haven't picked up on much pushback to those. There’s more nuance there, I think. 

I cut the above pics together to show how the entire ensemble changes along with the protagonist. We can lose entire casts of poc. Emperor's New Groove keeps its cast as mostly human so at least we have Pacha

And while the animals they interact with might be poc-coded, there’s nothing very special or affirming about “animals of color.” 

So, Soul.

Are we looking at the same thing here?

It’s no secret by now that this is an emerging pattern in animation. But not all poc-starring animated films have this same problem. We have Moana! With deuteragonists (basically co-protagonists) of color, heck yeah.

 Aladdin... Pocahontas... The respect those films have for their depicted culture is... an essay for another time. Mulan fits here too. the titular characters’ costars are either white, or blue, and/or straight up animals. But hey, they don’t turn into animals, and neither do the supporting cast/love interests.

Dreamworks’ Home (2015) is also worth mentioning as a poc-led film where the  deuteragonist is kind of a purple blob. But the thing I like a lot about Home is that it’s A Nice Story, where there’s no reason for the protagonist to not be poc, so she is poc. Spiderverse has a black lead with a white (or masked, or animal) supporting cast. But, spiderverse also has Miles’ dad, mom, uncle, and Penny Parker.

I’d like to see more of that.

And less of this

if you’re still having trouble seeing why this is a big deal, let’s try a little what-if scenario. 

This goes out to my fellow white girls (including LGBTA white girls, we are not immune to propaganda racism)

imagine for a second you live in a world where animation is dominated to the point of almost total saturation by protagonist after protagonist who are boys/men. You do get the occasional woman-led film, but maybe pretend that 30 to 40 percent of those films are like

(We’re pretending for a second that Queen Eleanor was the protagonist, because I couldn’t think of any animated movies where the white lady protagonist turns into and stays an animal for the majority of the film)

Or, white boys and men, how would you feel if your most popular and marketable representation was this?

Speaking of gender representation, binary trans and especially nonbinary trans people are hard pressed to find representation of who they are without the added twist of Lizard tails or horns and the hand-waving explanation of “this species doesn’t do gender” But again, that’s a different essay.

Let’s look at what we do have. In reality, we (white people) have so much representation that having a fun twist where we spend most of the movie seeing that person in glimpses between colorful, glittering felt characters that reflect our inner selves is ok. 

Wait, that aesthetic sounds kind of familiar...

But I digress. Inside Out was a successful and honestly helpful and important movie.  I have no doubt in my mind that Soul will meet and surpass it in quality and and in message. 

There is nothing wrong with turning your protagonist of color into an animal or blob for most of their own movie. 

But it’s part of a larger pattern, and that pattern tells people of color that their skin would be more fun if it was blue, or hairy, or slimy, or something. It’s fine to have films like that because heck yeah it would be fun to be a llama. But it’s also fun to not be a llama. It’s fun to be a human. It’s fun to be yourself. I don’t think children of color are told that enough. 

At least, not by mainstream studios. (The Breadwinner, produced by Cartoon Saloon)

It’s not like all these mainstream poc movies are the result of racist white producers who want us to equate people of color with animals. In fact, most of those movies these days have people of color very high up, as directors, writers, or at the very least, a pool of consultants of color.

These movies aren’t evil. They aren’t even that intrinsically racist (Pocahontas can go take a hike and rethink its life, but we knew that.) It’s that we need more than just the shape-shifting narratives of our non-white protagonists. 

It’s not like there isn’t an enormous pool of ideas, talent, visions and scripts already written and waiting to be produced. There is.

But they somehow don’t make it past the head executives, way above any creative team, who make the decisions, aiming not for top-of-the-line stories, but for the Bottom line of sales.

When Disney acquired Pixar, their main takeover was in the merchandising department. The main target for their merchandise are, honestly, white children.

So is it much of a surprise

that they are more often greenlighting things palatable for as many “discerning” mothers as possible?

I saw just as many Tiana dolls as frog toys on the front page of google, so don’t worry too much about The Princess And The Frog. Kids love her. But I didn’t find any human figures of Kenai from Brother Bear, except for dolls wearing a bear suit. 

So. What do I think of Soul? 

I think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be a great movie.

But I also think people of color deserve more. 

Let’s take one more look at the top people who went into making this movie.

Of the six people listed here, five are white. Kemp Powers, one of the screenplay writers, is black. 

It’s cool to see women reaching power within the animation industry, but this post isn’t about us.

We need to replace the top execs and get more projects greenlit that send the message that african, asian, latinix, middle eastern, and every other non-white ethnicity is perfect and relatable as the humans they were meant to be. 

Disney is big enough that they can - and therefore should - take risks and produce movies that aren’t as “marketable” simply because art needs to be made. People need to be loved.

Come on, millennials and Gen Z. We can do better.

We Will do better.

TLDR: A lot of mainstream animation turns its protagonists of color into animals or other creatures. I (white) don’t think that’s a bad thing, except for the fact that we don’t get enough poc movies that AREN’T weird. Support Soul; it’s not going to be as bad as you think. It’s probably gonna be really good. Let’s make more good movies about people of color that stay PEOPLE of color.

[dreamlikeapsycho]

I saw the max facts (pun intended 😂) you did for that question a while ago. So I was wondering if maybe you could tell us some more facts about Max it doesn’t have to be anything too detailed but anything you know would be nice to know, pretty please 😊

Okay... RANDOM FACTS ABOUT MAX - PART 2

I went on deep analysis mode this time to try and say all of Max's little nice and cute moments I know of.. Pls take notice, tho!! I'm not trying to flex or anything, I'm just a simple peasant girl on Maximilian's kingdom for a long time and it happens I have FBI blood in my veins 😭 so It's all gather on my brain and hard drive lol SO! I'm just answering this ask with a lot of thought and care so you can know more about Max and how he is even more awesome than you think!!! (And just in text form, cause Max doesn't need to be tagged on more personal stuff on IG (there’s too much illegal fishing at my tumblr pond already! 👏). It’s probably weird to know certain things, yes, but at least I'm respectful, I'll never bother him with this kind of stuff). Well, enjoy the bible below to end up knowing very little about him, still haha.. Just some more small facts.

- Max was at a barbecue just yesterday. It was someones birthday from the set of his new movie. He drank his beer, like usual, idk about the meat.. there was wurst and chicken.. I'm not sure if he's trying to be a vegetarian or not (after that thoughtful video he posted) 🤔.. maybe he didn't eat it, I don't know!!

- a little while before the start of this shooting, he was at the Baltic Sea filming for the series he's gonna be in (just one episode again! Don't get your hopes too high lol he's gonna be a security guard who disappears mysteriously, so....)

- He helped his friend renovate his house a few weeks ago!! How could I forget that on the first post.. Then, he had to go to Hesse for the movie shooting, and his friend had to call another friend to come help him lmao damn

I think I could describe some videos I have then... at least there's some cool and funny stuff. (Friends himself tagged in the past and cast friends)

- Max's dad went to the same uni as him. Also, he voiced a police officer on the phone in a short film Max wrote and directed all by himself (he didn't act on it, but he was also another police officer over the phone haha). Another thing, his dad made the official music for one of his plays.

- The falafel day.. his friend was taking a piss filming Max at the shop from afar and zooming in, saying "omg, guys! I found Noah from Dark! He's right there buying falafel" lmao, then, Max is just standing there looking all wonderful with his perfect hair and such, moving his hands, scratching his chin, ordering his food, and his friend talks some more, doing like a rough Max voice "yeah yeah, I'll have that one. Good, yeah". 😂

- the day he went to take a walk in nature. His friend asks him for a cigarette, he is denied, he goes to take it anyway, Max slams his cup of tea on the table and tries to take his cigarette back and it's all black and they're just laughing lmao (I love his laugh btw, so giggly!)

There was storys posted by Max himself.. so, maybe you saw it, but it's from before dark s3 came out.

- The pigeon storys. He filmed two pigeons chasing each other at the station, one always running from the other and he captioned "me trying to flirt" haha

- He screen recorded an ad for an app that deletes people from pictures and made some joke too, I can't remember exactly what he wrote, smt like "when you break up, but still wants to keep the picture" lol also, he unfollowed like 5 people that week after posting that... hm 👀

- he posted a video of him walking in the dark with really cold wind.. you can only see his hair flying around. Also, with a mask on, another chasing a cat in a big field, and that one drinking his coffee and eating his yogurt (you most likely saw it already)

- Ohh.. His friend was playing Max's drums the other day!!! Made a lot of jokes, it was obvious he was messing around in Max's room (maybe they live together, maybe he just waters the plants lol idk). Some of the jokes were "I've been playing this drums since 1921" and "the drums and me are a perfect pair, don't ever believe otherwise". I wonder what Max said to him.. he can't do anything about it, he's not in Berlin hahah. He has a little giraffe in his room, and other home decors (you can see it on his drumming video on his own IG)

- he likes to read on longer train rides.

- there's a video of him screaming inside a wardrobe after being jumped by a friend and one of him putting lipstick on with the song "I'm a sexy motherfucker" playing in the background hehe we was tagged, it was easy to find when there wasn't much tagged post.

- There's moments of ppl filming something/themselves and he just comes and photobombs it lol he is just like thiss 👏 showing his tongue and doing a funny face and such. One of those I saw it on the IG of a Das Boot cast member I actually already followed before.

- this group was such a blast. There's a few pictures, one of them he's in a dress, he has white stockings on til his thighs, heels and all haha lovely

- His improv-group.. he was almost in tears singing "I believe I can fly" with the group on their last day.. But he was happy! A mix of emotions. He loves everyone, he expresses his love a lot to people in general, he says it and adds heart emojis to make sure haha you can see his comments going on IG of his cast friends, especially from Das Boot (I followed a lot of the guys). So, about always commenting something funny on people's posts.. I didn't saved those, so I forgot most of it, but one I remember was that someone posted a video of a hailstorm and he was like "what are u doing, free ice!! Go grab them" hahaha

- Max has that Noah picture where he's peaking by a wall (you know that one Baran posted) printed and framed! 👏

- Things he’s pretty much always with: his backpack and his big headphones (it's always on his neck. At almost every picture, from every year, with different people etc. I was confused when he had normal headphones at his farm storys. Maybe he forgot them in Berlin 😭. Besides those, his rings, necklaces and bracelets (always, for years and years! Same ones, even). He uses frequently on premieres, as I saw it. Sometimes they also show up on his characters in his one-episode works!! Hahah is so nice when that happens. You can notice this on my screencaps.

- that pic of him that is everywhere now (with glasses, holding a bottle of champagne), I posted that months ago.. There's 2 more pics and 1 video. One pic, he is pretending the automatic lighter that's on the table is a Harry Potter wand (but I think I cropped the table, right.. I can't remember). This was actually posted by Max himself and he tagged his friend who took it. I went to see if they posted smt and there was a picture where he is literally biting the cork of that bottle off with his teeth Lmaoo, and one video.. he is talking on the phone trying to block the view with his feet.. this man!!

- he really doesn't care about buying too much unnecessary clothes and shoes and stuff. He is mindful of his things and the environment!! 

- there's a video of him on the set of Der Zauberlehrling, I need to recall where I got that from (maybe I could share this one. I'm not sure), he is messing with the broom and someone asks him "hey Max, what's that animal?" and points to the fluffy microphone. He says "it's a fucked up coala bear" (in english) 😂

Again.. I can't say names or anything, cause ppl are not mindful! Like.. I know I'm probably weird, but only for myself and my FBI office LOL I don't go over there and follow/reply to all these people’s posts and storys or take their videos and tag Max on them, this is just not.... nah. I'll always be respectful (yeah, some older stuff has gifs, cause he had like 10k followers, and 5 fans on tumblr lol But i never sent/tag him in anything personal directly.. that’s why i only posted on tumblr for the past year, in fact! I never thought things would be the way they are now a year later.. so, newer stuff it's not posted/gif nor ever will). I don't want him to be weirded out and like, disappear from IG!! I think about these things.. when people are being weird and stuff towards him. I don’t know how ppl don’t think about this when tagging him recklessly in random pictures and videos!!!

I wish he had more interviews, so we could know more proper stuff about him. (The few interviews he has are translated on my IG highlight. There's still an 8min interview missing there, cause I'm contemplating about being more of a bother to german speaking people, since I only have basic german..

[yandere-society]

Hello Lovely admins!!! Can I request Yandere Jungkook and Jin reacting to you having a secret sex Snapchat account? Or like one where you send nudes and stuff? Love y’all !!!

Broadcast

author/admin: kimseokmomjins🥀

a/n: Poor attempt at smut (heavy petting, degradation), possessive behavior, slut shaming

It was the day of the big Overwatch League match: Seoul Dynasty versus Vancouver Titans. Jungkook wanted to catch the first half of the game during his lunch break, so he set up the live stream on his work laptop and kicked back. While most of the stream chat was a constant influx of Korean, there was one message in English that kept popping up: “I’llBeYourBaby: Lonely and wanna talk to a cute egirl? Visit my stream😘✨ You won’t regret it 🍑” Jungkook scoffed at the plea for attention. The spiteful, cruel side of him felt the need to bully I’llBeYourBaby for whoring herself out to strangers. How desperate for money could someone be that they’ll sell their body for perverts on the internet? And what a lonely, miserable life a man must have lived to resort to paying an e-girl for a morsel of attention to be thrown their way. The very notion of internet prostitution, and sex work in general, was disgusting in Jungkook’s mind. But his conservative ways are exactly why he adored you.

You were the perfect girlfriend: responsible, considerate, loyal and sweet. You were committed to your job of tutoring English online, you were quick-witted, funny, and also enjoyed gaming just as much as he did.  In Jungkook’s eyes, you truly were the love of his life, and he was practically ready to drop down on one knee.

Out of pure spite, Jungkook clicked on the username, entering the live stream at the top of the profile. With a twisted sense of justice, Jungkook was ready to spew vitriol at the female streamer to further his agenda, but immediately, it felt like a cold bucket of water had been dumped over him. Jungkook expected the stream to be hosted by some busty, bimbo whose breasts spilled over her tank top while she played like shit in League. He expected some overly-flirtatious, inauthentic wannabe that was trying to make a quick buck from neckbeards. He expected anyone— everyone— except for you.

Unlike the risque, hypersexualized woman he had envisioned before, Jungkook saw that you were dressed somewhat modestly, wearing a simple white turtleneck, blush pink skirt and white knee-high socks. You weren’t flaunting your breasts or purposefully exuding sex appeal. Instead, you looked adorable as you fiddled with your purple galaxy Nintendo DS.

“Welcome, JustinSeagull! Thanks for joining my stream,” you greeted with a smile and wave. Jungkook found himself in a state of shock, unable to comprehend the predicament he’d just found you in. It certainly wasn’t a popular stream, but judging by the measly 16 viewers you were interacting with, Jungkook surmised that you were quite familiar with them.

knjkoya: baby, tell me why you’re so fine

jiiiiiimin: 😍😍😍😍

jiiiiiimin: step on me pls

Giggling, you addressed your viewers comments. “I would step on you, but Animal Crossing is so fuuuun,” you whined with a tiny, playful pout. “How was everyone’s day? Let me know below in the chat.”

HopeWrld: Thought about you all day 💚

CallMeJin: My day was fine, thanks for asking sweetheart. Are you enjoying animal crossing?

taetaebae: damn is it me or iss she acting mroe innocent than usual ??

You looked up from your DS to read the comments, giggling when you read the most recent ones. “Yes, I am enjoying myself, CallMeJin! Tom Nook is a huge jerk though, the interest rate on his loans are kind of bullshit,” you joked as you returned your attention to your device, uncrossing your legs slightly which gave your viewers a teasing glimpse of your underwear. Ones that Jungkook had gifted you for your 100 day anniversary.

As more comments rolled in, the filthier they became:

CallMeJin: Glad you’re having fun babygirl :)

knjkoya: i make 150k a year, i can pay off your loans any day if u just sit on my lap

D-Boy: im so fucking hard rn wtf

D-Boy: [COMMENT REMOVED BY MODERATOR]

Jungkook was in awe at the pure filth these degenerates were spilling. But most of all, he was upset at you— how could you demean yourself like this? How could you betray him? Jungkook pushed his sleeves up, ready to type a long-winded message defending your honor, a notification popped up on screen along with a gif of a cat pawing at the screen. Someone named HopeWrld had donated $100 to your stream.

“Oh! HopeWrld, thank you so much for the donation,” you chirped, “Since you helped me reach my goal, I’ll let you ask me one question, anything is fair game.” You winked at the camera, blowing a kissy face. Little by little, Jungkook’s perception of you was beginning to shatter, splintering into a thousand fragments. He thought back to all the times when you’d complain about receiving unsolicited dick pics, or reaffirm your idea that ‘men only think with their dicks.’ It was apparent Jungkook knew only of the side you wanted to show him, leaving him oblivious to the secrets you withheld from him— your very own boyfriend.

Despite the churning of his stomach, Jungkook remained firmly planted in his seat, unmoving, waiting to see how else you could disappoint him.

HopeWrld: Are you single?

Jungkook’s eyes burned holes into the computer monitor, anticipating your response. Since you were clearly lying to him, he assumed you’d do the same for your viewers. Perhaps you’d neglect to tell these scumbags that you had a boyfriend— one you’d been with for over two years, someone you shared a home with, no less. Jungkook’s tongue peeked out and wet his lips, the chapped skin craving any sort of moisture.

You sighed, folding the Nintendo DS in half and focusing your full attention at the camera. “Ah, interesting question.” Tucking your hands in your lap, you tilted your head slightly to the left, looking demure and shy. “I do have a boyfriend,” you admitted. Jungkook always found your mannerisms endearing, and even now, in the midst of his anger, he felt his heart beat erratically due to your telltale signs of nervousness: the twitch of your left eyebrow, the biting of your lip, the fiddling of your fingers.

“He doesn’t know I do this, though,” you quickly added. “It’s kind of my dirty little secret.”

D-Boy: Dirty little secret for a dirty little girl

taetaebae: i fuckin called it

taetaebae: @CallMeJin u still gonna act like a tryhard ?? lmao

knjkoya: i’ll give you $500 to break up with him, no kappa

Disregarding the comments, you continued to gush about Jungkook, although you didn’t explicitly mention his name. “But anyway, I’ve been with him for a few years now, and I love him so much. It would kill him if he ever found out about this.”

‘I love him so much’. Bullshit.

Jeon Jungkook knew everyone loved him, how could they not? Despite people likening him to James Dean or Adonis, Jungkook didn’t care much for his looks. He only cared about whether you found him attractive. The same could be said about any of his traits: his personality, his sense of humor, even the way he slept at night. The only love Jungkook cared about was yours. Your affection, your acceptance, your undivided attention.

Unlike him, though, you apparently craved the affections of other men— strangers from the internet who didn’t care about your generous soul and fragile heart. They only wanted to fuck you, discard you like trash until they found another shiny new toy.

Jungkook slammed his laptop shut, his mind clouded by fury, but still cognizant enough to formulate a plan. It was risky, but in the end it would ensure that you never consider straying from him again.

•·················•·················•

Your fingers deftly thumbed the buttons of the gaming device, controlling your Animal Crossing character as they collected seashells from the shore. Every now and then, you’d giggle, wink at the camera, read a comment or two, and then return to your game. It was easy money, and it also boosted your ego a bit. Jungkook, although being an attentive, caring boyfriend, whilst being a more than a generous lover, could be a bit suffocating at times. He dictated what you wore— more often than not, suggesting you wear couple outfits— carefully monitored your social media and even conducted background checks on all of your male family members.

Although it was twisted, you couldn’t help but feel validated at the small bits of attention you got through streaming. It was what kept you practically sane in your relationship with Jungkook, what ensured that you never snapped back at your boyfriend when he urged you to wear something less revealing, or when he scolded you for “flirting” with the older blind gentleman that lived in your apartment complex.

Humming contentedly, you delivered a package to a citizen named Purrl, only glancing up at your computer monitor to briefly acknowledge the chat, when you spotted Jungkook glaring at you from the doorway. Startling slightly, you hit Control + Tab and switched to Youtube, trying to look inconspicuous.

“H-Hi baby,” you greeted, smiled forced, yet still somewhat genuine. “You’re home early, I didn’t hear you arrive.” Jungkook clicked his tongue and pushed off the doorframe, stride confident and eyes set to kill. He responded vaguely, “Got out early.”

Jungkook approached you, his dominating presence settling over the back your white gaming chair. He feigned interest at your game at hand, “Well, what do we have here?” You glanced over your shoulder at your boyfriend, doing your best to keep your cool. “Ah, yeah, I’m playing Animal Crossing! Isn’t my character adorable?” You nudged the DS towards Jungkook who smiled politely— he knew that you knew that wasn’t what he was talking about, but Jungkook was certain that he could play the better liar.

He accepted the DS from your hands and inspected your character, before handing the electronic device back. “She looks just like you, Y/N. It’s cute.” You blushed, not because of his praise, but due to the embarrassment. Your livestream was still ongoing, meaning your viewers were seeing this entire awkward situation unfold, and you hoped to God that Jungkook didn’t notice the tiny green dot on your webcam. If he did, Jungkook would undeniably find a way to take away the only form of freedom you had to interact with the opposite sex.

“You know,” he mused, coiling a strand of hair around his index finger, “I also think it’s cute how you actually believe you can lie to me.” Your heart skipped a beat, and your breath hitched slightly as you tried to remain calm. You kept your concentration solely on Animal Crossing, trying to avoid your boyfriend’s scrutiny.  Jungkook leaned in closer until his face was level with yours. Peeking at him out of the corner of your eye, you noticed his focus was not on you, but rather on your computer monitor, right hand already poised on the mouse. The cursor dragged over to the leftmost tab and you sucked in a breath, an intense sense of impending doom coiling in your gut.

The screen changed to show a mirror image of yourself, alongside Jungkook, a devilish smirk tugging at his lips. Your secret had been exposed— and you knew it was only a matter of time, as keeping secret from Jungkook was a difficult task— but you hadn’t imagined it to happen this way. To be exposed on stream, by none other than your boyfriend.

You expected his fury, his disappointment— any sort of reaction, really— instead, feeling the tantric slither of his hand as it crept up your sternum.

“If you want to attention so badly, all you had to do was ask, babe,” Jungkook murmured into the shell of your ear, his body gracefully sliding itself under your thighs and repositioning you onto his lap. Tantalizingly slow, Jungkook’s fingers worked their way up the expanse of your chest until they nestled themselves over your breasts, his hands palming the clothed surface.

Although he was gentle, there was an underlying roughness to his touch. His fingers pinched the flesh of your breasts until it hurt, but would release a second later, only to alleviate the discomfort with soothing massages. Jungkook’s mouth rhythmically suckled pink bruises into the crook of your neck, eliciting a soft whimper. He smirked, satisfied that he was able to rile you up so easily. He lazily dragged his tongue up the column of your throat until his mouth rested right under your ear, leaving a sloppy trail of saliva in its wake.

His left hand relinquished control of one breast and acquainted itself with your inner thigh, his thumb toying with the elastic with featherlight touches. “You’re such a stupid little slut,” Jungkook purred, teeth nipping at your earlobe. “But at least you’re my little slut.” During all your moments of intimacy, Jungkook had never once bestowed upon you such a degrading name, as his kinks were more aligned towards praise rather than humiliation. But you surmised that his spiteful words were simply misplaced frustration.

How long had it been? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? It was impossible to tell, as you found yourself lost in the sensual motions, completely forgetting that, although you were in private, your stream was still live. You were only pulled out of your lust-induced haze when you heard the chime of your donation notification, reminding you that you had a small audience of onlookers. “Jungkook, the- the stream… I need to end the broadcast,” you weakly protested, trying to wriggle out from his grasp. Your boyfriend kept you firmly molded to him, his growing need nestled between the folds of your skirt.

“Let them watch,” Jungkook stated, brazenly making eye contact with the camera. “Since you clearly don’t mind the attention, why don’t we give them a run for their money?”

Your eyes widened, finding Jungkook’s shamelessness slightly erotic, but nevertheless feeling absolutely mortified at your compromising position. Comments were rolling in steadily, causing your heart to clench in self-loathing.

taetaebae: wtf wtf wtf

taetaebae: this shit is fuckin wilfd lmfao 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

D-Boy: what a hoe

HopeWrld: what is even happening

D-Boy: at least shes hot tho

“Kookie, baby please,” you pleaded, grabbing onto the one arm that fondled your breast, feeling the sinew of his muscles ripple under your fingertips. “I’m guh-gonna get banned if you k-keep- keep doing this.” Jungkook ignored your weak-willed objections and continued to torment you by sliding his finger into your slick heat. A moan was coaxed from your throat, the shiver from his sudden entrance causing you to lean into further into Jungkook’s chest.

knjkoya: Lucky bastard

CallMeJin: After all the money I’ve sent you?? At the very least, you could have just pretended to be a good girl, I’llBeYourBaby. Unsubscribing. Pokimane is hotter anyway.

Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment at the visual in front of you: Jungkook’s right hand splayed across your chest, while his left hand sinful touches under the ruffles of your skirt— which was, thankfully, hidden low enough to not be captured on the stream— whilst his mouth worked in tandem, leaving your neck littered in splotches of pink, red and lilac. You looked like a mess, but felt completely invigorated.

But still, despite your body being pulled into euphoria, your mind was plagued with negative thoughts. These viewers, your followers, were one of the last few sources of entertainment left, and if the broadcast was reported then your IP would be banned permanently, which meant no more streaming, no more fun, no more freedom.

Pulling away from Jungkook’s lips, you attempted to stand your ground, craning your neck to face him. “Jungkook, please don’t do this while I’m live. Let me sign out and I’ll take care of you.” Your boyfriend’s eyes settled on your bite-swollen lips and the way your heavy-lidded eyes betrayed your protests to stop. He should get what he wants while respecting your autonomy, but the selfish, vile side within him screamed to punish, punish, punish.

Jungkook gently brought his lips to yours, giving you a tender, chaste kiss, lulling you into a false sense of security. You smiled shyly, a tinge of pink dusting your cheeks and Jungkook returned the gesture with one of his toothy grins. Ever so carefully, Jungkook raised his hips and pulled out something hard, firm, from his rear pocket— a thick bundle of crisp, $100 bills, totaling close to three grand.  

As soon as your guard had been let down, he shoved the stack into your mouth, effectively gagging you. His other hand clamped down on your wrists, preventing them from reaching the mouse or keyboard. “You want these loser scumbags to pay you while you act like their cute, sweet gamer girlfriend? How about cold, hard cash? Will that keep you satisfied, princess?”

Jungkook eyed the chatroom, his attention catching on a particular message that, if it could even be possible, made dick harden even more.

jiiiiiimin: you should just let us watch you fuck her

With a scoff and cocky grin, Jungkook tilted his head mockingly. “Like hell I will. Go get your dicks hard to someone who’s not taken.” And with that, Jungkook pushed off the chair, pinning you into the desk on your stomach, whilst his other hand palmed the flesh of your bottom, a telltale sign that a rather lengthy spanking would be coming your way. The sheer force of your readjustment onto the desk had sent the computer monitor and webcam tumbling off the desk, landing in a shattered mess on the floor, pieces of plexiglass and plastic littered everywhere.

You made a mental note: be sure to buy a new monitor after Jungkook’s punishment, and make sure the next one is shatter-proof.

[lyricalafrica2]

‘Emergence’ National Gallery of Zimbabwe, Bulawayo September 6th - 19th October 2019 A few pics that I’ve finally managed to upload and a summary of my processes and review of the show and how I felt it went. In my usual way, fairly personal in places. I wrote it immediately after the show and views are always going to change within time. It’s been a few weeks now and I’ve made the transition from Zimbabwe to Botswana, I’ve had time to recover and chill for a little while. Not much drawing going on, but a whole load of sweating as the the season heats up! I feel at this point to write a review of the creative processes of my show may be a little warped in light of the fatigue I’m feeling, however my intention is to do one again come the end of the month when the dust settles to see how my opinions change. Given the subject matter, I’m also curious as to the impact on my own sense of self, immediately after and going forward. I found it strange that immediately afterwards, my focus was drawn to myself, how I looked in publicity photos and not the actual way the show went. Vanity you may think, though that old devil of self-consciousness. This hit me within a couple of hours of the show ending. Going from the heights of adrenaline and excitement, swiftly to over tired and self-critical. I questioned why more artists didn’t attend, berated myself for looking fat, my habit of nervously over gesticulating and the over animation of my facial expressions. Being struck with all of this just after midnight after two hours sleep if that and venturing onto social media in an attempt to quell my restless mind. Before bed, I’d bounced around the cottage in a fir of sheer delight, like an excited child might, amazed and happy that I’d successfully made it to completion. This midnight hour saw me overanalysing everyone and everything, even down to a known artist who turned up, said nothing to me and shuffled off into a corner to eat popcorn and nuts on his own. Not a well done, nor a comment on the content, just nothing, perhaps a slight look of disdain though. Was I just imagining this? Was this silence comment enough on what lay before him? These thoughts are just as responsible for limiting behaviours and in voicing them honestly, I’m hoping they simply release into the ether and just disappear. So, the exhibition was divided into three rooms, for which I wanted to take people on a journey, from conception. Not to say I incorporated every bit of work that I produced. I tried to curate carefully, it was interspersed with pieces that were a bit more literal, leading to much more abstracted concepts. Wording and symbolism, not just because; but because they are a powerful means to switch on the brain and indeed the heart. Positive and powerful. If you think positive, positivity will perpetuate, and vice versa with negativity. You don’t make it anywhere telling yourself that you’re wrong and a terrible person. For this reason, I was pleased that there were a number of children attended. I think instilling in children how important it is to love and respect themselves properly, allowing those little flames of excitement to become brightly burning and sincere passions are important. Most realise only too late where they went wrong and how detrimental it can be in trying to adhere to societal norms. Be yourself, they’re the most important person you will ever encounter. I tried to covey through my mixed media approach, the fragility, but also the resilience of the human spirit. How it could be quashed when handled wrongly, we’ve all had our wings burnt so to speak, we’ve no doubt all had our wings clipped too. Been told to be too cautious, know our limits, not been supported properly at the mercy of someone else’s ego. It can be hard not to absorb these things as we make our way through life, we are constantly in awe of someone else, rather than looking within for the amazing facets we already have. I hold my hands up and confess I am absolutely guilty of this, but in also being a therapist, it becomes so clear how things invariably work. It can be heart breaking to watch someone go through life, never realising there potential, thinking they have to conform to x, y or z, just to be accepted, so they can consider themselves a worthy human being. Whatever happened to simply being a good person and just allowing yourself to shine? Doing your thing, being encouraged to discover all that you are? I have that philosophy of, if we all learnt how to truly accept and love ourselves, our lives would be far easier. We would be able to perpetuate that to our neighbour, to the animals that surround us, to our environment. Can you imagine if we all lived consciously taking a little more care like that? The recurring themes of fragility, fractured, bound and freedom were used throughout the exhibition, never asking people to see the point, but encouraging them to come to their own conclusions. Flashes of mirror, captured people in the moment and very much made them a part of the exhibition pieces. Veining, flight paths, patterning and themes which were very much more emotive were all explored in different ways. Liberal and freeform use of diluted oils on damp surfaces allowed mixed colours to merge and bleed, blown, feathered allowed to run and bloom. Free to behave how they needed to behave. Added texture and collage offered additional light, movement and the suggestion of dynamism to these much more abstract pieces. I’ve never used oils in this way before, but I enjoyed it and would explore it further in the future, potentially with more colour in the background. The mainly white backdrop was an attempt to maintain some form of purity, as in the essence of just being. Smaller pieces formed a panel, with suggestion of cuts and scarring that can be recovered from. It’s never too late to learn to use your wings and take flight! Again the use of the wording ”Public Notice”, I wanted these pieces to be vital in drawing people in, in for introspection, an invitation to look for their own potential. To untangle themselves from societal norms and controlling hierarchies, to find what they were really about and to love and accept that. I wanted people to walk away with a sense of wholeness, or at least an impetus to do some self-exploration. A deeper sense of knowing that they are about so much more than the façade they present to the world every day. The façade that they have built in in reaction to the rules and regulations laid down to keep us all in line. The final room was a room I set aside to be filled by my installation pieces. The recurring symbolism of the eyes, the distorted, obstructed retinas, the colours that represented the opportunity to discover potential. The gaze, from one eye to the other, connected by the knowing, the denial, one an authoritarian with the same infinite potential as the next. Likely undergoing their own demons and using that control to supress and satiate their own need. But what if they found themselves a little more, looked at themselves a little kinder, would there action on the rest of the world still have to be so outwardly commanding? Is all this required because we can’t validate ourselves, we seek to control others, because we can’t control or accept ourselves? Paper bark, shards of blunt glass, fishing wire and chicken wire were all used to create a somewhat ethereal, spiritual effect, because well this was a fairly spiritual topic, but not in the head in the clouds kind of way, more a put yourself up there with the best kind of way. Take accountability for your own height, don’t accept that ceiling just because. It’s usually glass and if someone has led you to reinforce it, it’s about time you smashed it down yourself! So why leave the comments on the butterfly till now? Aside from the very free nature of the butterfly and the way it emerges from the cocoon to reveal its true identity, I wanted that sense of liberation. Detachment from what had come to be expected of it. The Commodore butterfly really did bring it home and in that sense, never accept that you have to be second in command. Be the captain of your own ship. Know that you are precious and that you deserve to be the best version of you, which can only be granted by you and only ever you! The fractured painted mirror adorned with glimpses of butterfly and glass again, was there to suggest that we can all be a bit broken, but we’re still beautiful. Use you power to transform that power into something positive, let it make you strong, don’t let it drown you. Life is tough yes, but it’s also sweet and beautiful. And in that, my final piece invited people into a little box, through the abstracted eye, to see what they could see. I see you, what do you see? It seemed an appropriate if more abstracted carry on from my oil portraiture collection, “Who Am I?”. After having seen my exhibition for the first time alone since Friday need to summarise my feelings here. Am I happy? Yes, after feeling so out of sorts over the weekend. Could there be improvement made on the way that I broach the subject? Of course, but isn’t that the meaning of life? To live and keep learning and to try and improve oneself and approach daily? I really enjoyed the installation and sculptural work. It’s not something that I generally do due to constraints on space, tools and materials aren’t so hard to source back home, but I tend to simply get caught up in painting. It was good to be able to combine that and be able to produce such a multifaceted body of work. I’d very much like to continue exploring this. Feedback from the audience was positive and most people pointed out at least two favourite pieces. The large bright eye and butterfly, the fractured mirror piece and the other sculptural pieces went down well and were said to be a quite unexpected addition to the exhibition. In this sense I was pleased I managed to offer something that was different to the usual standards of exhibition. If I were to do it again, what would I do differently? I’d perhaps pay more attention to the interactive element, maybe think it through for longer, use ribbon instead of thread as it is fiddly and time consuming to tie onto the chicken wire backing. I’d also likely do more sculptural elements. That for me has to have been the highlight, besides the different and at times intoxicating use of the oil paints. Of course the invitations went out rather too late and the carefully selected soundtrack went virtually un noted, the aromatherapy oils that I had infused the room with evaporated and disappeared off into the ether through the open doors. All things that need tweaking, but as they say, not bad for a first attempt at a National Gallery.

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours pt 2

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

WARNING slight angst is incoming!

Previous chapter here

Sunday 9:35

Eliott was struggling in bed, he already kicked the blanket off of himself hours ago. It wasn’t the usual struggling though, he just couldn’t sleep much since his adorable and kind neighbour spent hours at his place yesterday. His couch still had some of his sweet smell on it, that nearly drove him crazy. He grabbed his phone and looked through instagram just to forget about it for now. 

He scrolled through some nice and funny posts when something came to his mind, he decided to search for Lucas on there. Not like he wanted to stalk him, but he was really curious. It took him a while to find the profile, but there was him. Lucas der Deutscher. Eliott chuckled and looked through his posts, being really careful not to like any of them. There were some silly pictures of Lucas, pics of nice food, snacks, a theatre, but there was a lot of picture with this guy. He was tall, black, handsome, wearing a leather jacket. Basically every third post was about him which really bothered Eliott. He threw his phone on the pillows and sighed.

An hour later he crawled out of the bed, walking to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, washed his face and decided to shave too. He looked horrible, the bags under his eyes started to make him look like his spirit animal. 

After he was done, he put on some clothes, light grey jeans and a black shirt with an unzipped hoodie. He wasn’t really fan of flashy, colorful clothing, he liked his dark shirts and jackets. It was fitting his personality.

He walked to the living room, looking at the couch. He remembered how beautiful Lucas looked as he sat there, smoking with him, telling silly stories. His heart was beating faster as he looked at the wall, the barricade that separated him from that gorgeous being. He wanted to just grab a sledgehammer and destroy it, so he could see Lucas everyday. He shook his head. Stop it!

Lucas woke up early, making coffee and a light breakfast for himself. He was sitting in the kitchen, his laptop in front of him, watching a show on Netflix as he ate. His mornings were usually like this, but now he barely could concentrate on what was going on on the screen. His thoughts were circling around Eliott since last night. The way he smiled, the  way he blew a smoke ring like it was an ordinary thing to do. Everything about him was so thrilling, exciting for Lucas. He hasn’t really been in a relationship since he realized that he’s gay. He had two girlfriends before Sara and Chloé. Both of them were clingy and Lucas was just scared to accept his sexuality, so he went with the moment. Thank god he managed to escape that web of lies.

His phone started buzzing, so he paused the show, he didn’t even realize that it was still going and checked his phone. It was a text from Yann, his best friend. Lucas smiled.

From Yann: Morning dude! How’s it going? 

To Yann: G’morning! I have shit to tell, wanna have a video chat? 

From Yann:  Give me 10 minutes

To Yann:  You got it!

He finished his breakfast, drank his coffee and put the plate and mug in the sink, he will wash them later. He then sat back to the table, waiting for Yann’s call. It took him a bit more than 10 minutes, but finally he recieved a video call which he immediately answered. His best friend smiled at him brightly, tho he still looked a bit sleepy, he must have just wake up. Lucas was really grateful to have a friend like him. 

“Hey there! What’s up, Lulu?” Yann asked with his usual enthusiasm. He was always caring and kind with Lucas, except when they were teasing each other. 

“I’m doing okay, I have some news.” he said with a big smile. He had to tell somebody about Eliott, because otherwise he would convince himself that it was just a dream, nothing else.

“I’m all ears.” 

“I met a really hot guy yesterday. But like really, really hot.” he started. “He is tall, handsome, an artist and he has the most beautiful smile.” he said excitedly.

“Where did you meet him? At the coffee shop?” he asked curiously. Lucas used to talk about hot guys that came and go at his workplace from time to time. 

“No, dude, listen. He is my fucking neighbour!” he said seriously. Yann was surprised, he didn’t remember ever seeing Lucas’ neighbour, while he was basically visiting his friend every week at least once. 

“Your neighbour? I thought your neighbour is some kind of sick old lady who never leaves the building.” he said surprised. 

“And I thought it’s some stupid punk asshole.” he shrugged. “I tried to play the piano yesterday when he started to blast dubstep so loud my head started to hurt from it. So I went out, banging on his door, ready to yell at his stupid face, then I just couldn’t talk. He was so fucking gorgeous.” he explained, shivering a little as he remembered how it struck him seeing Eliott for the first time.

Yann chuckled and leaned closer to the camera. “Is my Lulu having a crush?” he asked a bit teasingly. Lucas blushed now and looked away. “Yes, he does! Lulu has a crush! Lulu has a cruuuush!” Yann was basically singing on the other side of the call. 

“Stop it, I don’t have a crush.” he said, but he could hear how that wasn’t true. He sighed and leant back on his chair. “Maybe I have a crush on him.” he admitted. 

“Okay, so is there any plan? I mean you wanna ask him out? Is he into guys too?” he asked, honestly being interested in his best friends now existing love life. 

“I don’t know... I mean, he invited me into his place.” he mumbled and then told Yann shortly what happened yesterday. His friend listened carefully, sometimes nodding or making a noise to let him know he’s still listening. “So yeah, he’s coming over today.” he finished it, looking at Yann now. 

“Woah, that’s a lot to process, bro.” he said honestly. “But if you ask me, I think you should go with it. I mean he clearly seems to be into you and not just wanna be friends. And I am sure he will fall for you hard after you play the piano.” he added with a wide smirk, Lucas felt relieved and smiled back. 

“What would I do without you?” 

“Probably sleep under a bridge somewhere in Paris.” he smirked. “But I got your back, bro. Just let me now how the date went, okay?” 

“It’s not a date.” he mumbled.

“Of course it’s a date. See ya later.” he said giggling and ended the call.

Lucas spent the rest of his morning cleaning and making sure Eliott won’t feel like he’s coming to a messed up musicians place. He picked up the music sheets from the floor, put away the laundry, organized his books on the shelf at least three times. He was super nervous, he couldn’t even eat lunch, so he was just standing in front of his opened wardrobe, trying to find the perfect outfit. He usually wore sweatpants and a loose shirt, but he had to impress his visitor. Yesterday was so sudden he didn’t even think of that Eliott saw his stupid grey sweatpants that had black violin keys all over it. So embarrassing. 

He decided to put on nice, sky blue jeans and a dark red shirt. He tried to fix his hair to not look like he just got out of bed. It was almost 13:00 and he just got more nervous by each minute, looking at the clock on the living room wall as he walked around his coffee table. Sometimes he glanced at his piano too, then his couch that was just behind his instrument. Eliott is going to sit there, watching him play the piano. He suddenly remembered that his guest might wanna smoke, so he looked for an old ashtray he had only because Arthur and Basile used to some at his place when they had a gathering here. He put it on the coffee table and looked at the door now. He can come at any second. 

Sunday 12:34

Eliott was circling around in his living room, holding a joint in his hands. He couldn’t stop thinking about Lucas and that he’s about to see him in a few minutes. He felt anxious, he couldn’t breathe properly which wasn’t a good sign. Probably the lack of sleep, the booze and weed from yesterday didn’t help him to feel better today. He sat down on the couch, leaning back, trying to normalize his breathing just as his therapist taught him. He put the joint behind his ear and grabbed his phone.

His hands were shaking so badly, he needed a few tries to type and send a message. He couldn’t let Lucas see him in this condition, what would he think of him? That couldn’t happen. It broke his heart that he can’t watch him play the piano.

To Lucille: I need you. Come over, please.

He threw the phone away, because he hated the fact, that he had to contact her again. It was inevitable, she was the only one who could handle his anxiety attacks and his depression. He needed her, even though he wanted someone else. He could never want Lucas to see this side of him, this weak, vulnerable Eliott who was wheezing on his couch, grabbing his shirt like it helps him not to fall into the pit of darkness.

“C’mon, Lucille.” he mumbled into the silence of his living room. 

Sunday 13:25

Lucas was a bit worried, Eliott seemed excited yesterday to come over, but he wasn’t showing up. He decided to go and check on him, just to see if he’s okay. His chest hurt because he was truly worried about the tall boy. He exited his apartment and in that exact moment he saw a beautiful, brunette girl standing on the hallway, giving a kiss to Eliott before walking into his apartment with him. 

Lucas felt betrayed and heartbroken, even though he only spent a couple hours with his neighbour, he felt like they had something, some connection that was special. But he was wrong. Eliott never really wanted anything from him, he was just a flirty person in general. Lucas felt so stupid, he should never had such high expectations from this, life has never been kind to him when it came to love. He was destined to be single. 

He sat down to the piano, taking a deep breath. He started to play Debussy’s Claire de lune. He let the soft music to fill his living room, gently moving his torso to the tunes, closing his eyes as he played. He wanted to forget Eliott, forget the world and just live for the music that was always his way to escape reality. Life sucks.

[cutiecrates]

Cutie Reviews: Gacha Gacha crate May 19

Welcome to the review :3 today we’ll be looking at the May Gacha Gacha Crate; which stars everyone’s favorite pink puffball~

Well sorta, it’s only one item but still. Click the pic if you want to read the text more clearly, otherwise let’s get this review started!

Our first item is this.... Unicorn worm?!

Unicorn Bracelet

Actually it isn’t; it’s a bracelet! From Toys Spirit, there are 7 available Unicorn bracelets to collect. There’s only 5 shown in the book though, so I assume there might be 2 special ones?

They come in white pink (the one I got), green purple, pink red, purple blue, and white purple.

Now I think these might have been based on an American toy series (that I suddenly forgot the name of I’m sorry); I say that because I have proof. About a year or two ago these came out: 

I think the one I bought, the other unicorn was 5 or 6 dollars (I also have a kitty like it, and they still make these now in a variety of finishes, animals, and series). They are almost exactly the same in terms of detail, shape, gimmick.

Basically, to make these work you take the larger bead beneath the neck and tail, hold them by the holes on the body and twist to form them into arms and legs. Then when you want to wear it you pull them loose and connect the tail tip to the head hole.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Now, I really like the concept, I love cutesy jewelry an accessories. As a stand alone toy/item I would have really loved this little cutie x3 I still do really like it, but I couldn’t stop myself from comparing it to my other one and like it even more than I already do. But they pretty much work exactly the same, and they’re both very cute so I’d recommend either.

Dragon Ball Super Figures

Our next item is this... arguably less-cute chibified Dragon Ball gacha from Bandai. They’re simplified little figures with moving head and arms, and they each include a little stand they can be attached to. I don’t know the form names anymore outside of the originals, but I do know this is Goku...?

Rating: ♥ ♥

I don’t hate dragon ball or anything, but as I’ve said before I don’t keep up with the series and lost interest in it. The figure itself is nice though, and I love all of the detail on the head. But I feel like with all that detail they neglected the body, you can kind of see a difference in mediums between them and it bugs me.

I also dislike how they hands look like they could hold something- but you don’t get anything for them to hold. I know it’s just meant to be like... a generic figure or something, but to me it left a lot to be desired. I won’t be keeping this one knowing someone else would really appreciate it.

Pochacco Figure

Our next item is this super-cute figure set of Pochacco, a slightly obscure Sanrio character depending on where you live. Like where I live I rarely ever saw him in/on anything; but lately I’ve been seeing him show up a lot more.

This series is by Takara Tomy Arts and there are 5 available in this collection, each featuring Pochacco in a variety of poses. 

Of course I got the really plain/basic pose, and he’s even wearing yellow for an added bonus <,<

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I’ve already said this before, but I prefer practical Gacha that give you something to do over plain figurines. But I’ve always had a soft spot for Pochacco and even if this one is a bit on the plain side, it’s still pretty cute. And thinking about this, I could still do something with it; re-ment, put it on things and take pictures...

Shiba Plush

Our next item is this kawaii little Shiba plush. I was kind of surprised to see this, given that Shiba were featured in the prior booklet and box. This would have been perfect for it.

This line is by Koro Koro Collection, and there are 5 available. I can’t understand their names though, so I don’t know who/what species of shiba mine is.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

There isn’t all that much to it but I do like the detail on this small plush. It’s body has small beans in it, and it fits right into your palm x3 I like how it kind of works as an alternate Squishy. It’s also really cute~

Kirby Squishy

Next is another gacha from Takara Tomy Arts, a kawaii itty-bitty Kirby squishy~

4 are available, including basic kirby, kirby with a rice ball, waddle dee, and meta knight. I love Kirby so much I’d have been happy with any of them, although I do think besides this one, I’d have loved to have meta knight.

Since I actually own a few Kirby Squishy I thought I’d get them out to sort of compare with it.

Like them it’s just a simple foam squishy. But the two I already own are ulra-soft, semi-slow rise, and they have a fruity scent. This one is soft, but due to its smaller size there isn’t enough foam for it to really rise back, it bounces back to normal in a second, if that. It also has a light roasted soy bean scent.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

So, if you prefer slow rise squishies and things you can really sink your hands into, this isn’t for you. But if you like a quicker rise squishy and something smaller sized for easier transportation I’d say it’s perfect. But it’s very small so I feel like if you’re not careful it would be pretty easy to lose.

Whack-A-Mole Game

Our final item is this really cute little portable electronic game based on Whack-A-Mole, you know, the game where you hit the moles or similar animals with a squeaky toy or your hands?

There are 4 available, each with a different base that is themed after one of the seasons. I really wish I got the spring or winter ones, but I was born in Fall/Autumn, so this is kind of appropriate :p

Basically, all you do is pull the tab out then turn it on. The bar along the bottom works as a sort of time/game phase measurement, and the game goes through multiple phases until you get to the point where you miss one, then you’re automatically out/the game ends.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ 

I love games, and when I was little I used to have a bunch of little things like this, and my old dentist had some that I was allowed to play while waiting. It’s very fun and a great way to kill a few minutes or work out some stress or if you’re fidgety.

The only thing bothering me is that the game doesn’t really tell you the score you get (as far as I know, there weren’t instructions), and it is very loud. There isn’t really a way to control the volume unless you leave the game flat on a surface, or turn the ON button half-way, which lets you play the game in silence.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥ 

Total Rank: 8 out of 10 cuties, one of my favorite boxes so far. Everything had nice detailing, I didn’t notice any defects or real issues, I also feel like the practicality was about the same as the prior box. But this time they didn’t include a price, so... I feel like in terms of what we pay, only one or two of them didn’t really seem to suit it. The rest sure.

if I had to change anything I’d say swap the Dragon Ball capsule for something more cute to match the rest of the box. I also wish that the boxes had a stronger theme. Like, this one had a Kirby booklet insert, so why not include more Kirby capsules? I know it’s possible for them to do a themed box, even if they just did like 2 or 3 capsules out of the 6 so that if the person didn’t like the theme the entire box wasn’t a waste for them.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Kirby Squishy

2. Shiba Plush

3. Unicorn Bracelet

4. Pochacco

5. Whack-A-Mole

6. Dragon Ball Figure

Sorry if you thought this last part of the review was kind of lacking... I honestly just didn’t have anything extra to add in. Sometimes it just happens.

Anyway, I’ll be returning to our regular box. So remember, until then make sure you open a box of cuteness every day ♥

[haechanfairie]

yukhei pet store au

hi!! i wrote this as a birthday present for @yukheart and decided to share it on here! anyways enjoy :)

so every day one time u have a rough day right

it's like 2 pm in the afternoon and ur in ur car and ur crying and a spotify ad is playing and u are Not having a good time (this is highly specific but bear with me)

so you sorta like,, stop by like a pet store bc u love??? animals??? so of course they'll cheer u up

at least u hope they will

and so u walk in and it kinda smells like wet dog but ur kinda living for it

and its like, a Big store, and ur just tryna find the dogs right

it's like an Ikea like at some point you sorta drift around

until you bump into this dude who looks like he's having the time of his life

and u take one look at him and ur like,, oh boy,, that's a cute boy,, very tall boy,, hansom boy,,,,nice looking,, dude ohohh,,, boy

he takes one look at u and he's like

“hey buddy u good??”

and u sorta just,, grimace

and u ask him where the dogs are and he immediately is like “oop b i got u” and grabs ur wrist

he's got like…. really big hands?? and long fingers and ur sorta just in a daze bc a cute boy??? taking you?????? to see dogs???????? is this a dream?????

and he's going with a Quickness too and ur tryna keep up but he's too fast (somebody get his beautiful long bodied ass to the olympics bc ya boy got S p e e d)

anyways after y'all take like 5 sharp corners and 3 slides into aisles you finally get to the dog adoption area

and its a cute little pen with like dogs running everywhere being herded by some of the workers

and y'all finally stop to fuckin b r e a t h e thank goodness

and you look at him and u finally realize how much of a fuckin adonis ya boy really is

like he tall,, but his body his fully proportioned

he got shoulders that span as wide as the grand canyon,, and they're big and muscular and bursting from his pastel pink uniform polo

and the polo stretches across his back u can can literally s e e his back muscles move when he does its wild

and his ears are so cute what the fuck

he got like,,, really long fingers bruh… they still wrapped around ur wrist and ur like,,,,,,,, sweating hella

and his legs!!!!! go on!!!!! for fuckin miles!!!!!! and they t h i c k too and honestly ur getting tired of his beautiful self

don't even get me started on his smile djsbzjxjxjz it's so pretty

wow it's getting pretty warm in here anYwAys

you look out and all u can see,, are dogs

big dogs, little dogs, fluffy ones, smooth ones, and you're so like,,, really Happy about it

and you look back up at this dude who's looking back at you with the sweetest grin you've ever seen and ur heart is really warm

also u finally read his nametag lmao and u learn that his name is yukhei!! ur like,,, wow what a beautiful name,, for a beautiful dude,,,,,,,,,,

and while ur thinking all this mushy shit homeboy deadass just yeets himself over this pen’s fence

and ur like,, lmao what the fuck

and you watch as he opens the fence and the minute ur in the dogs sense ur presence and its over for you then and there

bc a bunch of dogs start running in ur general direction

but in particular, this one husky makes a beeline for yukhei and this other corgi makes a beeline for u bc its curious

and the corgi is the most adorable thing after and its trying it's best to keep up with the husky but the husky has no fuckin time to wait for a n y o n e only for yukhei big mood

and so the husky basically jumps into yukhei’s arms and yukhei??? doesn't??? topple over????? fuck kinda s t r e n g t h??

and the corgi finally makes it to u and ur like “:(( i lov u” and ur both having the time of ur lives

and yukhei starts walking you around introducing you to the dogs and the husky stays by his side the entire time sjdbsjadmfjdkj

u learn the husky’s name is gregory, which is weird, and the corgi’s name is lil taki,, which is also weird

and yukhei is all like “this German Shepard here is named teacup and this terrier here is named saint louis, and this one here is-” like he knows,,, all the names

and all his coworkers are like “yukhei?? and some person who looks like they've been through too much today?? looking at dogs as they follow them all around?? seems legit”

and like, yukhei is magical with these dogs like some random dog will paw at his leg and he'll be like “ah yes chester needs his daily brushing give me like,, 2 seconds-”

he really loves these dogs okay sjdhfjskdkgj

and you?? are having such a good time

lil taki is adorable and if ur apartment allowed dogs you'd definitely try and get him

you lose track of time and like,, realize that it's 7 pm sjdhdjss u spent 5 very well spent hours looking at dogs with a really fuckin hot cute guy and u can't say you regret it

and the whole time he was gushing about these dogs and being cute and everything

so when you have to leave his face drops for a moment before asking hopefully with a soft pink blush “hey u gonna come back??”

and ur like “fuckin,, definitely dude”

and so start to come back every other saturday for like,, two hours

and ur friends are like “??? why ???” and ur like “ :^)))))) ”

and then at some point you just start coming every week

and you and yukhei bond over a lot of stuff

he gets ur digits and sends u pics of the dogs when he can

he also updates u on lil taki daily

he opens up to you about why he likes animals so much and u learn that he’s studying to be a vet

and every time he uncovers something and about himself to you he gets all weird and blushy and ur like :( cutie pie with big fucking hands and long ass fuckin fingers    f  u  c  k

like he tells you about that one time his friend jungwoo slipped on ice then pulled his ass down tryna get back up and they ended up falling down a hill rip

or that time he got acrylic nails on a dare and honestly?? he both hated it and loved it (bc when he was roasting mark and he was moving his hands this way and that?? they were killing it) but he took it off after a day only bc he couldn’t type on his phone all that well jshdjsjdmv

like at some point you just start leaving together when his shift ends (which is at like 8 pm) too like y'all are Besties at this point

and all his coworkers are like “;^) !!” and ur like “???”

and sometimes he takes u out to eat like 5 things of large fries together at mcdonald's and y'all have a good time

he's always smiling at you :((

he feeds you fries sometimes and he's a l w a y s blushing and smiling and ur like ,, pls stop

sometimes y'all walk in the park and/or get ice cream

and at some point y'all get to platonic (lmao not really) hand holding

and he's like fuck it imma flirt

but u think?? it's it's a joke??????????

and they're all like lame pick up lines bc he's lame but really cute okay and ur like “akekekeke” and he's like “haha i'm serious :)”

like every time he sees u he's like “are you a volcano???? bc i lava you :DDD”

or like “do you smoke pot?? bc weed be cute together!!!!! :DDDDD”

like stupid lame pick up lines but they still make ur heart skip a beat

and he always complains to jungwoo,, a fellow coworker on his break bc he's like “they don't like me :’(”

and jungwoo's like “bitch,,,,, just tell them straight up and also leave me alone bc pretzel the parakeet is on my ass for feeding him some new shit and he's not having it okay i'm tryna figure this out dude”

and lucas is like “:( ”

and jungwoo sighs and is like “just confess to them like,, idk ,, a normal person? get them flowers??? chocolate?? anything they likes????????”

and lucas is like “ :D ”

and so after A Lot of brainstorming he figures something out

and he's like “hey buddy,,, :) let's go to mcdonald's” and ur like “lit okay”

and so after y'all get there he orders like 10 large fries and ur like “?? what the occasion” and he just grins and ur blinded lmao bc Wow

and so you sit down at a table and he stands to receive ur order

and then he hands u this letter and he's kinda shy about it

and ur still like ????

but you take it

and basically the entire thing is him waxing poetry about how much he likes u and ur like “haha w h a t”

like he starts it with “are you a camera?? bc every time i look at u all i do is smile” and ur like :’( my heart

he mixes a bunch of pick up lines into it

and he ends it with “roses are red, my face is too, and that only happens when i’m around you” and ur like :’’’’’’)

and while you read this letter ya boy sitting across from you stuffing his face with fries bc he's so nervous

when u finish the letter u realize that he's already eaten like three boxes and u cackle

and his face falls bc he thinks ur laughing at his letter (as if you ever would)

but then u lean over and kiss his cheek and he's like !!!! :’D !!!!

and basically y'all hold hands and are a mushy couple eating fries in a mcdonald's and smiling all cute and shit like wow my heart

and he walks u home!! and give u a kiss on the forehead :(( it's so soft

or instead of the mcdonald's scene

when his shift ends, he's like “i got a surprise for u buddy :)” and ur like that ominous but go off ig

but then u see lil taki running towards u and ur face lights up like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and you pick him up bc even tho u saw him like 20 minutes ago ur still like “my child”

but he's got?? something tied to his collar??

and you find that it's a letter

and you sorta let lil taki go, who rund to yukhei

and u read it

and yukhei is a nervous mess and lil taki is pawing at him like “pet me b”

and when u finish reading it u smile really big and ur like “i like you too!!”

and he's like “oh thank god”

and u go to hug him and he kisses u on the cheek and u like :’( babe

and he hugs u and its sweet

and then lil taki starts barking bc he's like “pay!!! attention!!! to!!! me!!!!!!” and y'all pet him for a while before putting him to sleep

and he walks you home!! and he holds ur hand with his big ass hands and ur both just so,,, so soft   :’)

and when jungwoo finds out he's like “!!!! uwu !!!! good job yukhei u finally got ur shit together” and then proceeds to expose lucas for all the times he'd talk about you to everyone else lmao

okay i'm done sjdbdjabxn

[emeryst]

➰ ( PARK JIMIN, DEMIMALE, HE/THEY ) *✧.:°░｡ —- is that EMERY STEELE?! you know them, right? they are the 227 year old SEELIE !! they’re known for being WHIMSICAL & COMPOSED - but i'd be careful if i were you because they’re also SHREWD & EGOTISTICAL.

*peeks in* hello it is I, ghost of the past here again. asdnf ok for whoever even remembers my very brief venture into this rp with this muse um sorry for disappearing life kicked me in the ass but here’s for round two!! ;; I’m actually superrr excited to get to do stuff with Em and yall pls come plot uwu

I’m gonna keep introductions to minimum-- I go by Fany, 26 years young, she/her most likely playing overwatch if you don’t hear back from me for a while. constantly melting from this damn heat my last 1.5 brain cells are doing their best O K

that’s good right.

.

.

.

yes.

so.

I’ll work on pages as we go don’t @me 

I’ve revamped this muse juuuust a tiny bit. here’s what you should know

looks 22 he’s stubborn and clings to youthfulness. sue him

tbh partially also bc people keep underestimating him and. that works to his advantage oops

goes by ‘em’ sometimes, or if you fancy using that to emery he honestly doesn’t care. some may only know him as ‘gemma’ but more on that later..

most important thing perhaps is to make it clear that emery is by no means his real name ( neither is steele ), nor the only one he has taken to using over the years, simply one he’s settled for currently. for the past, oh, 90 or so years anyway

no one knows his real name beside his mom, and the seelie queen I would assume. unless there’s a seelie ( or even a merperson ) who was around when he was residing in the faerieland

speaking of, he was born in the faerie realm and lived there for the first 20 years of his life with his mom ( 1790-1810+ )

never saw his dad much, for reasons I’m not disclosing here other than the man being an unseelie & involved in some shady dealings >_>

mom wanted to move back to korea where she had lived part of her life, naturally emery followed along mostly just to help her settle down and to see what it was like, ever the curious soul

she got her hands on some land and started a small business making lavish traditional clothes which ended up getting her a hefty sum of money over the years, while he was mostly helping and doing his own things on the side, going cross country for mundane as well as seelie business.

spent some good 30 years there before he decided to start travelling across globe. which is more or less what he been doing since then, not settling down for more than a max 10 years at a time really. now he’s been living in wilshire for a good 2 years

I don’t want to name a specific timeline for where he’s been when cause yo if anyone wants to plot something that happened in the past in whatever country/city, I’m down! mostly boy’s been in europe tho. that said he has been in wilshire before too occasionally so a past plot based around the city could be done ( as long as it’s some 30+ years into past )

oh ye he’s LOADED

how he’s maintained that is another thing. from early age he’s been extremely interested in gemstones and their qualities and all that, how pretty you could polish them & adding his own magic into the mix he begun experimenting with making sort of charms out of them in the form of jewellery and soon found a genuine passion in the craftsmanship ( mean he went to work as a proper apprentice for years and all, under different people too ) and he’s amassed a pretty nice following of people who vouch for his ‘product’ being of highest quality and materials. or at the very least have heard of him by the name ‘gemma’. we’re talking of a sort of legacy garnered along 150 years of him doing this so.

word has gotten around within the downworlders circles as much shadowhunters, everything is custom made so you wont be able to just say oh I want this kind of thing and expect him to have it on the go oh no. it would take minimum 2 weeks. and he’s a strict perfectionist so even if you were fine with him applying some shortcuts while crafting pride alone would have him refuse

first of all you have to get in contact with him, which is harder than it should be these days since he’s not exactly advertising, though has been giving out business cards to select few cause they’re fun. so unless you specifically know him as the jewellery/charm maker ‘gemma’ honestly your best bet is to ask around the shadow market and someone might direct you to him

in addition to all that, he’s made a name for himself in the mundane world too by having lines of jewellery sold in boutiques all over for the last 30+ years. rumour is he’s retired - which is true - but nothing’s confirmed cause he’s an ass

no one knows it’s emery tho now cause with that whole thing he heavily altered his looks as well as what name he slapped on that entire thing when handling business. as far as mundanes know ‘jon kim’ has disappeared off the face of earth and he ain’t doing a thing to prove otherwise

ok so

lives close enough to wilshire in this huge ass 5 bedroom house legit cost him nearly 3 million oops

but listen, he needs the space for work ( has one room just for that ) and other stuff and a decent sized yard for gardening cause he’s growing all kinds of flowers & shit. some illegal but shh

actually no he legit has a whole lot of stuff some warlocks might need so ring him up aye. nothing comes free tho jsyk ;)

also may or may not have subtle glamours and all kinds of wards set around the property but don’t you worry about those

likes his peace and quiet too but is a highly sociable person. lives off gossip no lie. mostly bc he just borED

loves going out and just having fun with people in general, experiencing new things and sights, taking in the nature etc

does still visit the faerieland often enough to know what’s happening over there, though he’s a little removed from the inner circle of the seelies’. beside visits to the queen. he yet remains loyal to her and their people regardless how close or not he is to them now ( no but give him a seelie friendo someone pls ;w; )

he actually has come back to that realm several times over the years and in between travels, usually when there’s a war going on in the mundane world and he’s just. not in the damn mood to deal with that

now he’s also just. kinda unbothered by bloodshed?? doesn’t like participating personally but has witnessed enough in his lifetime it doesn’t really phase him

sometimes to the point of being unnerving like

during these past events/plot drops you bet he’s the one in a corner still sipping a drink and watching it all go down with mild interest, and annoyance bc thanks for ruining the party. again. wont lift a finger to help either. until there’s a weapon pointed at own face. in which case better start praying.

will prob try to stare them down first bc excuse you want me to ruin this outfit you absolute heathen

see he’s been trained to fight too although he’s def not the best among faerie kind but can hold his own. it’s less of fighting more just whole lotta evading and letting his opponent tire themselves out like an idiot. bc that’s more fun

actually has no problem with seeing the clave burn down. might be aiding in that in the shadows ( has some.. questionable connections ) but like. not. directly. not in anyway that could ever be traced to him anyway

doesn’t necessarily want an all out war tho. that’d be just a hassle but he’s tIRED of shadowhunters and their righteous asses and superior attitudes. will still play nice with them ( most of the time.. some of the time. ) cause gotta keep up appearances and hey the more allies he can make the better

doesn’t have much of a problem with other downworlders. might clown them but means no ill I promise. had one nasty run in with a small group of vampires in europe back in the day which at the time left him on the verge of death and kind of shaken over the whole ordeal so. gets stupid tense when there’s more than two vampires in the same room

he’s the kind who acts being ( tentative ) friends with most everyone who he meets but no one really knows him. very guarded about his past & secrets and keeps everyone at an arms length, tho it might not feel like he’s doing that cause. yeah. it’s not out of ill will or anything. well, most of the time. he’s just careful over who to blindly trust– which is no one

likes messing with people but can be kind too. it all depends what mood he in and what energy you giving him

not exactly charitable, with money or anything but if you need help he most likely will agree to lend a hand. tho again, may not be for free

deep deep down wishes he could trust people, even one person enough to just be real with them and open and shit but also is well aware how dangerous that could be so. chooses not to act on those impulses of affection or whatever when they rise. tries not to at least

pansexual as hell. also stupidly picky so good luck with that

doesn’t do relationships anymore *addareyousureaboutthatgifhere* but who knows. prefers to keep it casual if anything does come to fruition either way

probably has a handful of enemies cause uh. kinda may have stabbed some people in the back along the way but in his defence they totally deserved it so. meh.

ANIMAL LOVER. THEY CAN DO NO WRONG.

a hoe for quality fashion don’t even get me started. his style itself is all over he place but if emery is wearing it, safe to assume it cost a fortune

needless to say he wears a ridiculous amount of jewellery too most of the time you can hear him coming a mile away. avid fan of arm bracelets

as most seelies he also has a tattoo on his face. lets just, pretend it looks something akin to the shadow curving down his cheek an trailing along left side of neck and further down collarbones in this pic aight

tho a lot of the times it would be at least partially covered by makeup, which he uses regularly anyway

has a weird obsession with the ocean, and by proxy the merpeople so any of you guys out there hmu

tech-savvy. has all the latest stuff. also plays computer/console games cause why not, mundanes never cease to amaze him with their creations. not that he’s necessarily all that good but it’s for fun who cares

kinda all around restless and needs something going on at all times, even if it’s reading a book, attending to the garden, any small things

for him the whole bond thing seemed intriguing as well as spelled trouble but emery’s all about that also he was deathly bored aight plus may have a personal mission to carry out and any chance to fuck with shadowhunters is tAKEN THANKS

bonded with @urslashdw :  the chaotic gays™

wasn’t too happy to know the bond would last longer than a couple weeks, but has turned that into an asset. well, as much as it can be one. totally using her as an excuse to get to snoop around and may or may not be mildly manipulative towards her and using the connection to own advantage when possible but. ya know. has grown attached as you do so is a little torn over it.

I’m stopping here jesus take the wheel thanks bye!

so ye if any of you wanted to plot come at me~ don’t have any proper pages up yet bc i’m tired and lazy just ask me if you wanna know something. seriously, I love rambling about my muse I promise it’s no problem at all

guess there’s a few roles I wouldn’t mind seeing filled so here’s a bullet point list if anyone gets an idea or wants to brainstorm specifics!

friends ( very broad term )

old friend/acquaintance ( someone he goes waaaay back with )

business acquaintance ( whatever it may be )

old flame ( could have ended on good or bad terms, should have taken place a good while ago. bonus points if they still have a piece of jewellery em made for them )

booty call ( for convenience sake :p )

enemies/frenemies ( i feel this is just him with most shadowhunters?????? maybe he betrayed/tricked you and you’re just endlessly bitter. but look, it’s your fault for trusting him at all. em probably feels bad about it now???? or just classic hating each other’s guts )

literally anything??!

actually gimme someone who was in europe during the whole vampire attack shenanigans and helped him out ( em would feel indebted. )

also someone who may also be okay with bringing down the clave and they lowkey vibing. but in secret.

idk man the messier the plot the louder i get for declaring my love for it so bring it babes~

also omg if I had a plot with you then you’d want to actually.. you know.. put in action now I’d be okay with that lmao

[dramallamadingdang]

Some replies.

For @holleyberry, @lady-bane, @strangetomato, @ajaysims, @mustluvcatz-reloaded, @sideblogsimblr, @kayleigh-83, @simper-fi, @spectral-cat, @sigmundsims, and @phoenixdaisy...

holleyberry replied to your photo “Adventures in floor plan “shopping.”  I was looking on some floor plan...”

That is a cute house.

It really is. I wanted something tiny, that I can put on a 2x2 lot (and then maybe chop down to 1x2) with two full floors and outdoor living space, and that’s one of the few I’ve found so far. It has a cute screen porch on the back, too, in addition to the wrap-around. I’ll probably use it for the custom beach vacation neighborhood I want to build, too.

lady-bane replied to your photo “Adventures in floor plan “shopping.”  I was looking on some floor plan...”

THEY'VE FOUND US GET TO ZE CHOPPAAAA

VE CANNOT HAVE A MOMENT’S PEACE EVEN ON HOLIDAY!

strangetomato replied to your photoset “And while we’re in vacation neighborhoods, have you ever looked...”

I agree. :) And I've never noticed the the mer-llama before!

Honestly, I only noticed the mer-llama when I took that pic! I never really looked at the back of the ship much before because, on the lot it’s sitting on, it has big rocks behind it. But I wanted to take a pic of the “windows” back there, and saw that, which was pretty awesome. :)

ajaysims replied to your photo “Thing I Just Noticed in a Game I’ve Been Playing For a Decade”...”

Have to admit that I can count the amount of vacations my sims have taken on one hand. BV is my least-played expansion. Mainly because in my mac version it was glitchy as hell and I ended up with sims stuck and all sorts, so I just gave up on it. Now I'm playing a PC version, I should give it another whirl.

You really should. I confess I’m really not all that excited about the doing all the things on vacation anymore, since I’ve already done them. (Although I do like bringing home Bigfoot from Three Lakes. I have modded objects that will spawn a Bigfoot, but that’s just not the same. :) ) It’s more being able to send Sims there and let them relax and do different things they wouldn’t normally do, without any jobs (or, for me, childcare, since I usually send only singles/couples and sometimes adult siblings on vacations) and other things to worry about. It can also be a place for singles to find romance amongst people they wouldn’t otherwise meet. Just make sure you’ve patched, if you’re not using the UC, because BV as it was released was super-glitchy, even the PC version.

Also, I like building vacation houses, both “rentals” and ones that can be owned and that aren’t ugly like the Maxis ones.

mustluvcatz-reloaded replied to your photoset “And while we’re in vacation neighborhoods, have you ever looked...”

And of course I notice the unmapped bottom of the whateverthatssupposedtobelayingonitsside, lol.

LOL, yeah, that was the one thing they missed. I’m going to guess that they just chopped off one of the mesh’s masts to the make the extra lying-down one. (Which is what I think that’s supposed to be; sailing ships of the day often carried an extra mast on board in case one was destroyed by weather or blown up by a cannonball. Either that, or it’s supposed to be a fallen mast, since the ship is dilapidated anyway.) So, the bottom wasn’t mapped since otherwise the masts are standing upright. Too bad they didn’t fix that. Maybe it was an afterthought sort of thing and the non-mapping wasn’t noticed or there wasn’t enough time to fix it.

I love the cannons in that pic, though. Especially the one lying on its side. They have a really lovely weathered-bronze patina, which is a nice touch.

sideblogsimblr reblogged your photoset and added:

i had totally forgot about the llama figurehead,...

It’s an awesome figurehead. It’s not surprising that it’s a llama, of course, but the texturing on it is very nice, too. Someone needs to restore the gold leaf on it, though. ;)

kayleigh-83 replied to your post “My fellow vegans...”

I’m not vegan myself but I know people who are/were and I know daiya is sold in Canada for sure

Ah, good to know for when I find myself up there again. :) I was about 80% sure I’d bought some up there during one of my extended stays, but more and more my memory is becoming less dependable, so...

kayleigh-83 replied to your photoset “And while we’re in vacation neighborhoods, have you ever looked...”

I always thought the pirate ship was pretty amazing and well done!

simper-fi replied to your photoset “And while we’re in vacation neighborhoods, have you ever looked...”

I LOVE the pirate ship textures!

They did a really good job with it. Whoever textured the pirate ship should’ve textured more things in the game, IMO. They have some excellent attention to detail, unmapped bottoms of masts notwithstanding.

spectral-cat replied to your photo “Thing I Just Noticed in a Game I’ve Been Playing For a Decade”...”

I honestly just noticed it tonight as well, as I was making over this lot tonight.

It’s actually quite authentic to cover the entire floor of a structure in tatami mats, from what I understand. (I’ve never been to Japan. Other countries over there, yes; Japan itself, no.) I’m not sure that type of building would be one that would be done that way, but it was nice of Maxis to do a little nod to the culture that way.

sigmundsims replied to your photo “Ahhhh, Three Lakes.  There’s lots of room once you demolish all the...”

I love the idea of “off road” rentals! It’d feel more rustic.

Yeah, honestly, I’m trying to make Three Lakes...Well, more like home. :) Where I live is a ski resort, primarily, but there are all sorts of other outdoor things that are big in the general area. (Which is SW Colorado/the Four Corners in general.) Aside from skiing, hiking/climbing, mountain biking, hunting/fishing, jeeping, kayaking, snowmobiling, horseback-trekking, etc. are all huge here. Ice climbing is big in the town where I live, specifically, since there’s a big waterfall right outside of town that freezes every winter. And yes, people who do those things will stay in out-of-the-way rustic cabins. Some, of course, will stay in luxury hotels/lodges, true, but the real outdoorsy (and non-rich/celebrity) people don’t. So I want to give at least the appearance of those activities being available, and I’m building the rustic “amenities” to go with it. So basically, less “lumberjack village” and more “artsy-hippie-outdoorsy ski resort.” I’ve already placed a lot in an off-road, out-of-the-way location to be a hunting camp using Sun & Moon’s hunting spawners, and I’m going to take a look at Chris Hatch’s skiing mod to see how it works... 

phoenixdaisy replied to your post “And another thing I'd like!”

Maybe someone could steal animations off a closet or single shower to make one for you? I'd think that would be easier than all new animations, but I'm neither an object nor animator creator so I'm just speculating. If someone does make this for you, I'd totally download it, too, though. That'd be super useful.

 @kayleigh-83 linked me to this object by @midgethetree which is very close to what I’m looking for but is for recharging servos, not for “recharging” vamps. So if that object could be merged with the coding (or whatever) for vampire coffins...Yeah, that’d be what I’m looking for. :)

[batsysims]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can

37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa

50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom

[miniwolfsbane]

Copied from @andalite-angel post. Edited slightly.

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, etc. are allowed.

Biospecialist, Marco/Rachel, Sam/Rahne, all cannon Disney Princess pairings, the two young kids Pacific Rim Uprising,  Lancitty, Evo Kurt/ Amanda,  Jott in Evo. Skyward??

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or ***** that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Fanfic writers and Evo romy, adult Jubilee x Gambit, others.

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Never gonna be big on Evo Romy ever again, will forever hate Rahne x Roberto, Sam and Rahne with anyone but each other!!

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Evo Romy...somtimes. Because it does sorta make sense IN FANNON, but not in cannon. And Jean x Scott, because it’s so iconic, but I only like them in Evo, so...yah.

E - Have you added anything cracky crazy/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what? 

See my fan fiction.

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

The Little Mermaid and Star Trek have been there for 95% of my life.

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask, Sam/Rahne, Ariel and Eric (first when I was 5, even though I wanted to be Ariel), Rachel Tobias (first when I was actually gettin into fandom), Jake/Cassie (Animorphs), Clark/Lana, Clark/Lois (I think??) and Chloe/Ollie, Romy (even in Evo at a point!), and now Eliza and Goliath in Gargoyles. I keep saying I’m not a shipper, but I think I’m just a subtle one that pines and doesn’t read a lot of fanfic, but my heart swells over seeing my OTP on screen

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

TV Shows and Western (superhero) Animation mostly, but also a few animes.

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I was annoyed by the Agents Of Shield fandoms behavior for a while, but I’ve never stopped liking any fandoms because of Tumblr. 

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

SuperWhoLock, Riverdale...some other popular teen shows.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Tie between Sailor Moon and Gambit I guess, but I’m sure there are lots of others. Sailor Jupiter has a good arc as well, even though she doesn’t have a lot of character development TBH.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

Roberto Dacosta’s super strength power is pretty cool and he’s a chill guy. And rich. (I just realized that a lot of X-Men characters are rich, actually. Gambit, Xavier, Warren and him. Holy crap.)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Moon. TAS Rogue too, because she seems fun to hang with, and who wouldn’t like to be called “Sugah” all the time?

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

MORE GAMBIT (and comic Nightcrawler) IMAGINES!! And just more love and less fan wars across all fandoms, really.

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Hero by Chad Kroger. Ship: Romy or Mollyx Remy. Character: Gambit or Angel.

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

For any fandom? A mad scientist and a famous baker get together after the scientist contacts aliens, resulting in a warring invasion on earth.

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

To be perfectly honest, The Smurfs because we’re a Christain household and we found it had stuff in it we didn’t agree with. I was three.  Other than that, I’ve only given up one other fandom permenantly that wasn’t what I thought it was and chosen at a bad time. 

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Kurt and Kitty in Evo, and Logan and Kurt is cool, but I don’t actually pay much attention to it.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Hmmm. One that isn’t too boring? Remy isn’t (wasn’t? He is married now) particular about a woman’s height and is comfortable enough with himself to date a woman much taller or shorter than he is. (Remember, Frenzy was freaking 6′7 before she got rebooted to a normal height and it was implied they had history.) For a while it was a wish of mine they’d pair him with a short gal, because all X-women are physically clones of each other, minus Rahne, Kitty and Jubilee. Blargh. Oooh, just had an idea for a new art project to make the girls look individual! ^_^

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Besides the above? Uh...headcannon that Remy smells good and his hair is silky to the touch and yes I’m a sick, weird little person, I know. Haha, not really. I’m not much of a headcannon person. 

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

* Gambit: Hot, suave, lit, accent, good cook, romantic, my fictional ideal man (told you, I’m sick and weird). * Sailor Jupiter: Sweet, loyal, living on her own at bloody 14 years old, strong physically and emotionally, had trouble believing/finding her feminity like me, tall (not like me!), brunette character, thunder powers. * Tuvok (Star Trek): My second crush ever, calm, reflective, hot grandpa, sarcasm galore, strong, suffers emotionally and physically, POC and like the only black vulcan that I know of, cute little boy chest, that butt (XD), frakin’ hot.

V - Which character do you relate to most?

Surprisingly, one I haven’t talked about yet and that I’m not really fandom-y about. Rapunzel from Tangled. When I saw the movie, I was attached to her immediately. I’d grown up homeschooled and at that point I’d been caregiving for one of my parents for six years at that point, unable to move out and get married and have much of a life, so I was always metaphorically in a tower too. I have childish interests, am artistic and creative, have done LOTS of self-insert art like her, and am a generally happy person (even if I don’t always show it and don’t smile enough). So, out of every character in my many fandoms, I relate to Rapunzel the most. Also, I have only 2 things of Tangled merch-the movie, the soundtrack, and a gorgeous bedspread that’s actually based on the show, but doesn’t look like it. (I don’t like it’s animation/character designs, so it’s been hard to get into it.)

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

OMG, do we have to go here? Anything over-sexualized or kinky or just plain gross/weird. (v***, gore, ect.) There’s this one X-Men:Evo artist on DA that would be brilliant, but I can’t stomach their gallery because they feel the need to do a few  v*** and bondage pics amongst otherwise G-rated pictures. *throws up* IT’S A SHOW FOR 7-YEAR OLDS!! 

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

Huge guy, Tiny girl! (but it looks...weird...in live action. *Good Luck Charlie flashbacks*.) Also age differences. Some people are put off by Usagi and Mamo’s age difference in Classic, but I think it’s cute and they were really chaste about it. Specifically, I liked the part where he told her to do well in school for some reason. 

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)? Holy crap, Pride and Prejudice and Anne of Green Gables. No one on my dash is into them though, it’s a real life thing. Long story.

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

I have written more self-inserts than is probably healthy, but at least I’ve mostly gotten past my teenage phase of thinking anime guys are hot and it’s extended to Gambit as well. I’d much rather see him be portrayed by a living, breathing actor semi-bringing my fantasies to life than as a drawn character. Well, not that I’m not happy seeing him animated and his voice in Evo is still super hot, but that’s another thing. Anyway, on that note, I wish XM:E weren’t a dead fandom and I could get more reviews instead of just faves/follows. I get so frustrated, because I’m not writing my fics for myself, I’m writing them to finish the story and for the fans. I know OCs/SI aren’t everyones bread and butter, but when you work hard on something, you want people to enjoy and appreciate it on it’s own merits. My regulars dropped off the planet and the fandom is just not that active online. (It’s still kind of active though, otherwise the Gambit and other prints on Steven Gordon’s online store wouldn’t have sold out so fast.) I wish it had been as creative as the MLP fandom, but even that wouldn’t have saved it. Thankfully, there are a few people “keeping the faith”, like Coldfusion180 and some others. They haven’t abandoned it and people have made AMVs for it in recent years, long after the shows cancellation. I know we’ve all moved on in one way or another, but it’s still nice to see the love for the show and it’s characters going strong, even if we’re now a niche fandom, tiny, but there. And even if I don’t get another single review up until the last in the series, at least I can say I finished it, if nothing else. Even if your fandom is dead, keep supporting it. If we don’t keep the characters alive, they die and are forgotten. They need us.

https://fanfiction.net/~miniwolfsbane

[ualscout]

Captain’s Log: 16 Triggers II

Communication

24-27/09/18

The 16 prompts continued...

9: Recreate the moment after…………..…

Alright, I’m really not proud of myself for this one. I couldn’t think of anything, so I drew a picture of a shattered window from the inside looking out onto a kid with a baseball bat and a look of shock and terror. This is a universal “oh shit” moment, which I think most people can relate to on some degree even if it isn’t baseball. I used the window to frame the kid and put him at the center of attention, and by using the window as a frame I also added focal layers to the sketch.

(The universal feeling when rolling a nat1, or a critical fail)

After I did it I thought of a ton of different ideas though. Like rolling a nat1 in a Dungeons and Dragons game when everything is on the line. Or closing out of a program/having a program crash and realizing you forgot to save. Or saving and forgetting you just saved so you save again. I dunno, I thought of better stuff but didn’t have enough time to go back and fix it because I just didn’t have time. Let’s just say the kid rolled a nat1 or something?

10: Reconfigure a newspaper

Y’all know Brexit? Yeah? Cool.

Anyways, I’ve always been encouraged to be aware of the world by my high school social studies teacher. I get news updates on my phone and all that. I gotta say, the world is depressing. When you’re constantly getting updates on the next mass shooting or stabbing or acid attack or stupid thing politics did, it’s hard to stay positive, but it’s kinda necessary to be aware and look at it with as little emotion as possible. It kinda feels like a ball and chain anchor.

(Pics of the ball and chain hanging from door)

So I represented that feeling by making a literal ball and chain out of newspaper about Brexit. Then, on the chains, I wrote

“Calling the world from isolation, ‘cause right now that’s the ball where we be chained”

from Humility by Gorillaz, which is about Brexit. The biggest project out of the prototypes, definitely. I did the installation first then documented it in my sketchbook.

11: Apologise for a mistake (visually)

This one was really hard because in order to apologize, you need a mistake. By nature, this needs some kind of narrative behind it that you can’t use words for and ideally want in one panel. Some boring ways of doing this could be helping someone up after tripping, or patching up something that broke, or WAIT.

I thought of something better- someone being stabbed through the heart by someone they love while being hugged by said person. Angst central… why didn’t I think of that earlier…?

Anyways, I did something kinda boring…

I made a confession box. I kept the statement vague. People could accept the apology, deny the apology, apologize for something they did and feel bad for, etc. I did it because I wanted to use the cardboard I brought lol. It ended up getting tossed by someone, so… whoops.

12: Record what another student is doing

Someone was passed out at their desk lol. I hope they’re doing alright. They seemed tired and kept sniffling. I just kinda scanned the classroom and saw them, basically taking the easy way out. Didn’t take a picture of them because that would be kinda creepy.

13: Make a path for others to follow

(How can the thread be red if it’s invisible?)

There’s this superstition about everyone having a red thread tied around their pinky that’s connected to someone else’s pinky and that person is their soulmate. You just need to follow the thread, which is harder than it sounds… I wanted to make an animation or something based off of that. It would follow two ends of the string, winding through the city and terrain, and watch the characters pick up and manage the amounts of red string they find along the way. I’d want this to be a music video, ideally to “Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men or “One Red Thread” by Blind Pilot. I did some sketches in my book- the characters and everything would be simple marker sketches while the only color is the red thread.

… but I ended up displaying a meme option. One of my favorite emotes is OwO and it looks very demonic when you fill in the eyes with darkness. So I drew the emote normally, then blinking, then opening to darkness to the words “We all have demons, and sometimes they win.” This is 100000% a meme and shouldn’t be taken seriously, despite what my tutor thinks… Anyways, the path to follow was the path to your inner demons.

14: Add something extra

Do you guys have chipotle here? Well, guac is always extra. I don’t like guac personally, but it seems like something that can be put into other food things to disgust people. For instance: an ice-cream cone, a pom pom, a snowball, etc. I didn’t really have any good ideas, just that…

15: Making a drawing without touching a pen

… Okay.

(Fountain pen for flare and sarcasm)

I didn’t touch a pen, I did touch a pencil though. I drew a fountain pen and wrote “no” in pen because it was funny. Sometimes it be like that, chief. I think it’s funny because the pen is so carefully drawn and sketched in a pencil style, then you just have “no” there. Again, I just do things to try and be funny.

16: Make a neglected place loved

The first thing that came to mind was a grave made markless after being out and exposed to the elements for so long. 

(Like this- creepy and generic)

And that got me thinking about how that’s the last thing holding their physical body to the mortal plane. Their body is there, there is likely evidence of their existence, but no one will ever know for sure. The memory of them and the physicality of their body are completely disconnected. Not to mention these graves are so old they’re likely not visited or cared for in the same way recent graves are, they’re not remembered. I wanted to do something to make them remember…

… but then I decided to just make haunted shit. I like the idea of fixing and renovating even if it takes away some of the personality of the house. I think it’s like a reset, like painting the walls in a rental or getting a tattoo. But what if the house didn’t want to be remembered? What if someone wanted it to stay the same…?

Enter the song “O Green World” by Gorillaz. It sounds like a person washing windows in a slasher film. I like the idea of following an unaware protagonist and following the narrative through the windows, like some of the other pieces I did in the past (see Scene Change: No Story Time and prompt #9). I kinda just drew a basic concept, but it would take place in a haunted house and the characters would interact with the different sets inside.

BONUS: ZINE!!!

I swear to God when the tutors were briefing us on the zine I felt my heart beating with anticipation. I wanted SO. BADLY. To do this. Ideas started racing through my head and I felt my hands jitter as ideas raced through my head. A zine is the perfect way to tell a story and boy do I have stories to tell.

I thought through a bunch of ideas, like doing something about Mothman, explaining the story behind Haakon’s banishment, doing something about The Adventure Zone, but I realized I could tell a cohesive story by just making it like a textbook. I took from the prompt first prompt, recreating and object from my past. Again, not my past.

This is the past of Bo Phadez and Sandman. My first long-term DND character met an elemental golem the first session of the game, shoved a handful of ash into its receptacle, and unfittingly named it Sandman. Sandman went through a whole character arc with Bo during the game, with them nearly getting blown up in the pursuit of an infinite power supply. The Game Master threatened killing him multiple times… but he knew I’d make him regret it. Sandman remains my favorite thing to have come out of my misadventures in DnD yet.

Time was short, so I had to act quick. I wrote the lines as if they were part of an SCP file or a textbook. That way, even if the reader didn’t understand the crazy world the story took place in (jumping from a desert planet to a space opera with nukes and guns in a page with characters pulled out of a Russian version of Lord of the Rings. I used a brush pen to make bold and quick lines.

As I drew, I realized I spent less and less time for each page… I just knew how to make the characters look how I wanted. I know pencil was banned, but I used it for putting down lines, and at some point I just stopped and went with the pen. I had a lot of fun considering the different blocking and ways to compose the screen, as well as making the text fit in the frame. I played with colors a bit, making sure to use them to show how Sandman was changing forms and powers without fully doing it. To make full use of the frames, I cut the paper so I could glue the backs of the pages together so I wouldn’t have to deal with creases while I drew.

Honestly, making this zine gave me an epiphany. I want to draw like this for the rest of my life. I love designing the characters and getting to know their designs well enough to do them quickly and expressively. This certainly wasn’t my best work, but it was the quickest one with the best results and the most pride in my work.

I really wanted to pursue this more.

This was the moment I decided I wanted to specialize in animation.

---

In conclusion, I think I make art for reactions. I.e. whenever I had trouble thinking of deep connections that I would actually care about I tried to go for comedy or sarcasm. I don’t know why, but maybe it’s because I’m an entertainer at heart. I really enjoyed doing all these miniprojects. It’s like throwing pasta at the wall and seeing what sticks. This kind of format lets me really stretch my thinking style because I didn’t care too much about making sure the end product was perfect- I just wanted good ideas and had fun with it! Some prompts came slower than others, but I always figured something out.

[samanthasroberts]

Hunting Bigfoot: 4 Things You Learn Chasing Fiction

I recently moved to a snowier, woodsier part of the world and noticed one day while taking a shortcut home that Bigfoot probably lives near me. There are a lot of trees and foreboding areas that look like the sorts of places in which gentle folk like me are made into the forest brides of beast-men. But how could I know for sure?

If there’s one thing I’m good at it’s finding the worst bar in any given town and making it my own. I easily located this town’s scruffiest bar that featured dead animals mounted on walls, and in no time had found no less than one man who claimed that he had heard from someone several years ago that there was a guy who saw Bigfoot around here once. Hot damn! A solid lead!

On the promise of picking up his bar tab and also returning to the bar later and picking up more of a bar tab, I got this guy to join me on a hunt in the woods. Now, you may be asking, “Felix, did you just pay a drunk stranger to take you into the woods alone?” And to that I say: You forgot that I got him to bring a gun.

This is Dan. He’s loaded with beer and ammunition!

#4. Drinking Outdoors Is Fun

My new friend Dan isn’t the sort of man who appreciates small talk, pop culture, or me. But I bought road beers and we were pretty much set to have an adventure. We drove about 20 minutes out of town to a massive swath of forest that Dan told me had a big lake somewhere in the middle of it and was the place some people said Bigfoot had been spotted. Already it had grown from maybe one guy to some people. I was super psyched.

In preparation for our journey, we packed not just beers but several snacks, an emergency flare (lest Bigfoot abduct us while a helicopter is flying overhead), and outdoorsy crap like a compass, a small hatchet, some matches, and a mickey of whiskey.

I’m not much for hiking but luckily neither is Dan, so we were in the woods for a solid 15 minutes before we stopped to have a drink. Our brew of choice was a fine Canadian ale known as Flying Monkeys Smashbomb Atomic IPA. I bought it solely based on the silly name, but it was actually pretty fantastic and I solidly recommend it for all your Bigfoot-hunting needs.

It’d be better if there were actually monkeys serving it, but other than that, A+.

Dan and I had a good sit in the woods, during which Dan proceeded to tell me about his younger days in a biker gang and a variety of related activities I won’t relate here, because I’m dumb but not that dumb. This was some secret-keeping beer we were having, and Dan may not have been the best tour guide in retrospect, but here we were, in the woods, with a gun. A gun and stories of Dan using a pool cue to destroy an entire room full of men in the most brutal, Deadpool ways possible. I’m glad I met this strange fellow.

Several beers later and Dan and I were having a pretty decent time, still within sight of the road. But alas, this was no joke expedition … or, well, it was, but I was still looking for Bigfoot. We had work to do.

#3. Losing Yourself Is Easier Than Finding Bigfoot

We set out in a direction I will call straight ahead. I know we packed a compass, but it was packed and, honestly, would it have made a difference to know if we were headed north or east? How could it have? We were looking for a legendary man-ape.

Dan told me as we walked that coyote activity in this area has been very much on the rise lately. There’s just a huge population of them. I’ve never seen a coyote outside of a Warner Bros. cartoon and was having a hard time reconciling my image of a cartoon wielding an anvil with an actual wild dog that probably has rabies tearing open my scrotum. Dan assured me they rarely attack humans unless they’re starving or in large groups, then, without missing a beat, added, “Or maybe not.” I almost forgot Dan is not a woodsman, merely a fellow drunk I met at a bar, and I am about as much an expert on what we’re doing as he is.

“I eat a lot of Jack Link’s, though.”

We stumbled upon a number of tracks that could have belonged to Foot, but definitely not Bigfoot, unless I have been grossly misled regarding sizing in this matter. Most were probably squirrels and assorted other woodland turds, but there were definitely some deer tracks as well, and in my mind that was close. The bigger the animal, the closer to Bigfoot. If we found moose tracks we’d be pretty much where we needed to be.

We trudged on through snow-covered underbrush, slightly tipsy and with no clear direction. Dan had brought with him a 20 gauge shotgun, which he said would probably work for taking out Bigfoot if we got him to stand still long enough. I’m no gunsmith and assumed any shotgun was probably good for blowing a Bigfoot’s leg off, until Dan told me this was his rabbit-hunting gun. He had a license only for small game this year, and he wasn’t going to get fined by bringing a higher-powered rifle into the woods when it wasn’t season for hunting something like elk. Dan had no faith in our expedition. Although he did point out that, if we shot Bigfoot with the 20 gauge it’d probably slow him down enough for some photos, so I should be fast with my phone and snap a pic or two. Maybe see if he’s down for a selfie.

#2. Winter Is Stupid

The worst time to do anything is winter time. According to my phone, it was about 4 below zero. For you Celsius types, that’s 20 below. Why the hell would Bigfoot be out in this silly-ass weather? Even bears have the intelligence to hibernate. Bigfoot should be snoozing under a pile of tarps in an old fishing cabin.

There was a brief moment when I encountered a smell that could be best described as unwashed skunk vagina somewhere out in the woods. I heard a rustling in the underbrush, and I thought we might be on to something. For those who doubt the veracity of my claims, I have photo evidence:

Got wood? Ha ha ha! Ha ha! Ahhh …

Like all good photos of Bigfoot, this one mostly requires you to be as drunk as I was when I took it and to have a lot of faith that I know the sight/smell of Bigfoot’s dick when I see it. But for real, do you see that in there? I know it looks like a twig, but I ask you, what do you think Bigfoot’s dick would look like? Probably a big, veiny twig, right?

Before I string you along anymore, I’ll let you know that was a twig. Bigfoot’s dick, even if it is twig-like, is probably attached to a Bigfoot and not a tree like this one was. But did you feel the suspense there for a second? Now you’re living in my world. The world of a Bigfoot hunter!

#1. Bigfoot Is Not Real

Let’s assume for a moment Bigfoot is real, the title of this section notwithstanding. He’s generally considered a “he” right? Not to point out the sex so much as the singular. There’s just one. Bigfoot’s a lone wolf, him and his veiny twig-dick, wandering the woods and stealing forest brides and whatnot. Most Bigfoot sightings have been in Washington state, California, and Oregon. He’s basically a West Coast kind of guy. I’m on the East Coast, so right away my chances are pretty pathetic. Sure, New York and Ohio have some sightings, but so does Russia. Point is, I’m in the wrong neighborhood, and I’m looking for one guy. One big, hairy guy who makes a point of never being found, because no one’s ever found him. Do you know what the odds are of me finding him?

I actually calculated the odds on this for you, in case you’re not good at these complex, veiny equations. Keeping in mind the time of year Bigfoot is most often sighted in these various locations, as well as the time of day and methods used for tracking Bigfoot and the actual odds of me finding him here, at this time, were fuck no. Fuck no I can’t find Bigfoot, because he’s not real.

Consider that humankind has found the coldest natural object in the entire universe, fossils from the first living veiny beasts on Earth, that stupid affluenza kid, and numerous missing plane crashes. If there were a race of hairy man-beasts populating the Pacific Northwest or anywhere else in North America, there would have been some kind of definitive evidence proposed by people who are not named Bubba or Cooter.

Dan and I finished our beers in the woods. We found one track that was probably mine.

Size 11 … ladies. Or guys who want to buy me shoes.

I also found a frozen turd that really made me laugh but the picture turned out pretty blurry due to my laughing as I took the photo. It wasn’t a Bigfoot turd, probably a raccoon or something. Still, that’s hilarious to me.

Dan decided he’d had enough of being in the woods with me, and I couldn’t blame him. I’d mostly wasted our day and provided little to no purpose for our journey other than the laziest attempt ever to discover a cryptozoological legend. Fortunately, that made my attempt just as relevant as anyone else’s, because come on. What would be a “serious” attempt at finding Bigfoot in 2016? Some kind of thermal-imaging drone and satellite tracking? That seems like an expensive prospect for a big fatty waste of time.

Dan called his wife to pick him up once we got back to the road. She seemed like a nice lady who could fight me and win with little effort. Neither of them offered me a ride. As I watched them drive off, I wondered if perhaps Bigfoot was now watching me from the trees and feeling a kinship with me as I, too, was now alone. But of course he wasn’t, because remember, he doesn’t exist. He and that veiny dick I’ve been asked to keep writing about are full-on fiction. No, the only stranger watching me from the woods was a friendly serial killer or public wanker.

I wondered why it is that so many people seem enamored with the idea of Bigfoot. Is it the mystery? The idea that, in a world of smartphones and WiFi and driverless cars, we could have somehow overlooked a man-beast living right under our noses? Possibly. Mostly, I think, it’s what I like to call Dorf Contrarianism. This is the idea that a stupid person will dig in like a tick when confronted with something they feel threatened by, in an intellectual fashion, telling them they’re wrong. The person doing it may not be trying to intimidate our Dorf, or even patronize them or talk down to them in any way, but that is how Dorf perceives it, because Dorf is not smart enough to know why it’s happening but is smart enough to know they’re being corrected. And they don’t like it. So they outwardly refuse it so thoroughly they must embrace the very opposite. They must hunt Bigfoot, simply because he is not real. They must drink that moonshine because it could make them go blind. They must fuck that cousin even if the baby’s going to always be leaning a little to the left. Such is the contrarian nature of Dorf. And that’s what keeps Bigfoot alive.

Check out other mythical monsters of lore and bull crap in 5 Myths That People Don’t Realize Are Admitted Hoaxes, and fear the shelled back of The Beast of Busco in 7 Monsters That Bigfoot Hunters Are Too Scared To Believe In.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel to see why ghosts are definitely real in 6 Most Eerily Convincing Ghost Videos On YouTube – The Spit Take, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!

Also follow us on Facebook, and see if you can find Bigfoot in the comments. We hear he’s a fan.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/hunting-bigfoot-4-things-you-learn-chasing-fiction/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/14/hunting-bigfoot-4-things-you-learn-chasing-fiction/