#if that's not an accurate representation of how I'm doing lately idk what is

[little-bit-of-mystery]

.

[lunar-knight84]

BACK TO BLACK

Cheater Marc Spector x reader, Steven grant x reader

Summary: you and Marc had an amazing relationship but suddenly he leaves without a word. What happens when you meet one of his alters years into your new life and he finally tells you the truth about the past and present ? What happens when everything is left unsaid and yet you feel something new in your heart for that special alter that you met?

N/A: this may be really bad i'm in my feelings and this is what came out lmao. This also took me a long ass time and idk how it is. I’m sorry if it’s terrible! Also feel free to leave a comment!

warning/stuff inside: the use of the word girl/girlfriend and she/her pronouns, Angst, not an accurate representation of DID, OOC, not proof read, Let me know if I missed anything!

You-red

Steven-purple

Marc-blue

Kind of inspired by the song back to black by amy winehouse

When you first marc you truly thought he was a free single man. The way he lifted you up in his arms that night and kissed you with such passion it felt like he was single and ready to take on the world with you. So of course when he asked you out on a date you said yes, of course you said yes when he said he could only call late at night. Of course you didn't mind when he told you he could only go to your place on random days while you could never go to his place. You were in love with marc…blinded with love I guess you can say. One day Marc just stopped seeing you. Completely. You called and texted him wondering where he was or what you could have done to upset him. You waited and waited till finally you gave up…your tears finally dried and you decided to live a new life in london. That was a few years ago and now you work as a bounty hunter in london, you have completely started a new life without Marc but never forgetting the scar that he cut deep in your heart. You were currently on your way to a museum that was filled with Egyptian artifacts and history, which honestly made you kind of excited. Of Course you were there for a specific reason, which was to stalk your bounty who was going to take a tour of the museum. As you walked into the museum you found your bounty and began taking the tour while watching your victim closely. You eyes watched but also looked around at the museum as you took in all of the artifacts and history. You stop in your tracks as you see a familiar and heart crushing locks of curls standing away from you in the gift shop. You can feel your heart beating in your ears like a drum as you walk up to the gift shop and grab a random candy placing it on the counter as you look at the cashier. The cashier looks at you and greets you in a British accent ¨well hello! Im steven! What can I do for you today?¨ he says with a smile as you continue to stare at those familiar romantic brown eyes. The eyes that would stare at you in between your legs, the eyes that you saw making you dinner on tired nights, the eyes that left you… alone and heartbroken. ¨uh miss are you okay?¨ Steven asks you curious and a bit nervous as to why you're staring at him. You swallow hard as you slide the candy over to him and give him 3.87 pounds as you continue to stare at him. Steven is nervous but as he looks down to put the cash away marc calls him from the reflected surface of a mirror nearby ¨ Steven do not talk to that woman…you need to just give her the candy and then leave¨. Steven looks at Marc confused as you suddenly speak ¨you said your name is steven? Is that correct?¨ Your eyes are blank and your voice is low and alluring as you speak to steven. Steven just nod as his nerves are getting to him as he hands you the candy. ¨well then steven… you must have a twin cause i used to know a fellow name marc who looks exactly like ya …you seen him lately..¨ you say as you stare down steven determined to figure out what the hell is going on. Steven tenses as you mention Marc as he stutters when he speaks ¨h- how do you know marc?¨. Marc calls out again in a stern but worried tone ¨ Steven dont… you dont need to know.. Stop talking to her!¨. You smirk as you lean forward ¨oh..he's just…an old friend..¨ you say as if the words are like honey on your tongue. Steven hears your words and is unsure of what to say next as he turns to you but before he can speak you give him your phone number. ¨heres my number steven…let me know when marc is around… tell him an old friend wants to speak to him.. Bye now..¨ you say as you walk away leaving Steven unsure about his feelings while marc is suddenly silent. That night Steven calls you. ¨ h-hello?..¨ he says nervously ¨hi steven…have you finally reached marc for me?¨ you say gently. ¨how do you know marc?...¨ he asks again a bit more strongly as he is determined to figure out how you know marc. You chuckle ¨he's an old friend…¨ you say slowly.

¨what does that mean?¨ Steven asks, unsure of how to proceed as Marc suddenly speaks to him from another mirror in Steven's home. ¨ dont steven…stop before you make this worse..¨ Marc says urgently, steven only moves the mirror away, dead set on figuring out who you are exactly. ¨it means what it means steven… now let me talk to marc..he must be near you if you called me¨ you say a bit annoyed. Steven chuckles a bit and mumbles ¨if only you knew…¨ . ¨what do you mean?¨ you asked confused ¨first you tell me who you are then i'll let you speak to marc¨ he says. You sigh as you say ¨i was marcs girlfriend? I guess you can say girlfriend but it was more of me being his entertainment…¨ you say with a bit of anger. ¨wait what?... Marc had a wife..well ex wife now..¨ Steven says deeply confused as it's only silence on your side of the call. Soon steven hears a laugh ¨the fucker was using me to cheat? Fuck! I guess I should've known..¨ you say in a surprised but hurt tone. Steven went quiet as he was unsure of what to say as he heard your voice again ¨who are you steven? Are you marc and have you just been fucking with me?¨ you say with anger as your voice is harsh. Steven panics as he quickly says ¨no no i'm not marc! You see we have DID.. which means i'm another personality of Marc’s …¨ steven says nervously as he just hears another round of silence from you. He finally hears you sigh as you say ¨i see…so can marc hear me and everything? I'm sorry if that's a rude question. I don't know how all of this works…¨ you say gently and with a hint of kindness. Steven smiles a bit being appreciative that you're worried that you're offending him by asking your question ¨he can hear you and don't worry it's okay to ask..it's better then just assuming.¨ he says gently. ¨i see…well steven did he tell you about us…like me and him?..¨ you say a bit nervously. “No he didn’t…he just told me about his ex wife…” Steven says with a slightly nervous tone “well would you like to know about me and Marc…” you say in a whisper as if the words were too much. “Steven, stop talking to her…you don’t want to know!” Marc says from another reflective surface as Steven ignores him and instead says “yes tell me…about you and Marc…”. You sigh “when I first met Marc I didn’t know he was married at all…back then I really thought it was just me and him…and yeah there was some weird stuff like he wouldn’t let me go to his place and such but i guess I was blinded by love that i didn’t really care to see any of that strangeness…” you say with your tone changing into a subtle sadness. You continued on “one day Marc just stopped…he stopped coming by, he stopped texting me, calling me, he stopped everything…”. “I’m sorry…” Steven says unsure of what else to say as Marc had gone quiet. “I truly did believe It was me and marc…” you said quietly. Steven sighed he was unsure of what to say as you cut him off before he could say anything “look Steven…it's fine” you hang up quickly leaving Steven with his head filled with confusion and silence from marc.

A few days passed and Steven couldn't get you out of his head. Marc had not spoken to him either and after learning what he did to you and his ex wife, Steven did fully believe that Marc would do that. Steven decided that he would have a chat with Marc and get all of this sorted out once and for all. ¨ Marc, can you hear me?¨ Steven said as he stared at the bathroom mirror waiting for marc. ̈ Marc, come on, we have to talk about this mate…¨ Steven said hoping Marc would finally show. A few minutes passed and Steven was about to give up when Marc finally spoke ¨you had no right doing that…¨ he said obviously upset. Steven turned to Marc in the mirror ¨I had no right? You're off your rocker for saying that! You had no right cheating on your wife with that girl! That poor girl had absolutely no idea that you were married and then you got up and left her?! Not to mention your poor bloody wife-¨ ¨ Steven shut the hell up!¨ Marc says loudly as Steven listens to him. ¨you don't understand-¨ ¨well then help me understand mate cause it seems you broke that poor girl's heart along with your wife… did she even know?¨ Steven asks while cutting Marc off. Marc sighs ¨of course she didnt fucking know steven…look…that poor girl your talking about her name is Y/N..and i loved her…I may still even love her…” Steven chuckles as he cuts marc off again ¨you love Y/N and yet you were still with your wife you wanker!¨ Steven says getting upset. ¨ Steven if you let me explain-¨ ¨no you're going to talk to Y/N tomorrow and explain all this bloody mess to her¨ Steven says as his tone is full of anger. Marc just sighs ¨fine steven..fine¨ he says with a frustrated tone as he leaves steven alone in his flat. The next day comes and You receive a message from Steven to meet him in front of the museum and that Marc will talk to you. You begrudgingly get out of bed and start yo get ready for the emotional storm that you were about to head into. You soon make it to the museum and see Steven standing there as you go up to him. ¨hey steven…so um…i don't want to make you feel uncomfortable or anything but how will i speak to marc?¨ you say gently and a bit nervously. ¨Oh we just switch out from the front..but before i give control to marc…just know everything is going to be okay..¨ Steven says gently and with a reassuring smile. You felt a bit of heat coming to your cheeks as you saw Stevens smile. Steven is different then Marc but yet that smile will always bring warmth to your cheeks as your lips curl up in a small smile ¨ thank you steven…¨ you say gently as you rest your hand on his arm gently.

You soon see his light and cheerful demeanor change into a tense and guarded demeanor as his face becomes tighter and his smile fades into a frown. ¨uh steven you okay?...¨ You say gently, a bit worried about what happened as you remove your hand from his arm. ¨Y/N…¨ was all he said as that chicagoan accent stopped your breathing as you immediately knew who you were with. ¨marc…¨ you said softly. You both just stared at each other unsure of what to say. You finally say “what the fuck Marc…” as you feel your rage take over your initial surprise. Marc just stayed silent, which only seems to anger you more. “You were using me to cheat on your damn wife and you made me believe that we were actually gonna be something together…do you realize how fucked uo this all is…and not make matters worse I met Steven and he ended actually making me feel better about the gaping hole you left in my heart.” You say angrily as you are dangerously close to him. Marc still was silent. “What the hell marc are you gonna fucking talk to me or are you gonna be silent…” you say annoyed. Marc looks at you…with those same romantic eyes…as you feel your knees weaken just by looking at them. “I’m sorry…” he said very softly. You look at him with all the hurt you’ve kept inside after he left you. “ you don’t understand what I have felt for years without you Marc….you don’t the anger the sadness the foolish hope that you’ll come back…and now all of this…” I say with a frustrated sigh “I don’t know what to do in this this situation….”I say conflicted. Marc just stood silently as his demeanor changed again to Steven’s light and relaxed demeanor. “Zoey?…” Steven asked carefully. You look at Steven again and give out a angry growl. “What the fuck! What the fuck Marc! Why won’t you talk to me!” You say with tears as you yell at Steven seemingly forgetting that he was Steven. Soon you felt warmth spread as you realized Steven was hugging you. As soon as you feel Steven’s warm safe embrace you just let out all the unknown tears you had for years as you cling onto him as if he was your only hope. You felt your heart beating again…it seemed it was beating for Steven…or was it beating for Marc? You were unsure…all you knew was that Steven grant gave the Best hugs.

[rosethreeart]

fuck ableism, all the nations are disabled now /hj (also just a heads up, this got longer than i meant cause i got excited and started rambling, sorry)

but for genuine headcanons, i usually headcanon alfred as both autistic and adhd and matthew as either autistic or having really bad anxiety and sometimes ptsd as well (to be clear i'm not saying autism is the same as anxiety and ptsd, i just don't always give him the same thing), and i also headcanon sweden and north italy as autistic, and sometimes i headcanon north italy as having tourette syndrome (i see it spelled both tourette and tourettes/tourette's??), and south italy as having adhd and ocd. probably not all that accurate to canon but canon's boring and i like representation

i also see gil as someone who has chronic pain. i myself don't experience that, so i can't say much about it, but i feel like with him having lost his country a century ago it's gotta be affecting him somehow. i also like your idea of the older nations needing hearing aids

and sometimes i also like to just completely throw out canon and make all my comfort characters just as disabled as i am when i'm feeling bad about being disabled. it can make life real fucking hard and sometimes i just wanna comfort myself by seeing all my favorite characters be confused by neurotypicals while stimming together

idk if it's obvious but i really do like to make the nations neurodivergent cause idk what neurotypicals are like and it's more enjoyable like this

and i don't know much about physical disabilities, but i also think that at least some of them would be physically disabled, especially cause of how long they've lived and all the shit they've been through

one headcanon i do have though is that al has a prosthetic leg, and he fidgets with it a lot. if you go out to have a casual lunch with him or something you'll sometimes catch him messing with it and eventually just taking it off cause he got bored. he's got an above knee amuptation, and the kind of prosthetic he uses relies on suction, so he messes with the button that releases that suction a lot and will have to get it back on properly when he stands up. i imagine him like that as a nation, but i also have a face fam human au where he's like this, and in that matt's also blind (with kuma as his service dog) and francis needs a wheelchair, cause while he can technically walk it's really hard for him and it's much easier for him to just use a wheelchair. arthur and francis got married and adopted both al and matt cause they were disabled (originally arthur wasn't disabled, but i really like the idea of him being deaf and needing hearing aids now). they hadn't gone looking specifically for disabled children, but al had really found comfort in francis (they'd been orphaned in a really bad car accident a few months before, the same accident that blinded matthew and damaged al's leg so bad that he needed it amputated, so al was having issues adjusting to having a prosthetic, and matt developed really bad attachment anxiety with al cause both their parents were gone and now matt couldn't see anyone, and he was scared he'd lose al too. it got a lot better once they were adopted though) and he and arthur figured it'd be nice to give these kids a home with people who understood what being disabled was like. they were adopted when al was seven and matt was four, but most of the au stuff happens when al's a senior in high school and matt's a sophomore

it's really really late for me so i apologize if i said something wrong or insensitive here, i can correct it if need be in the morning

Don’t apologize, especially for rambles/infodumps I absolutely loving hearing them!

It’s okay Remove the /lh :))) /j

These were so fucking good and I love the little au you dropped in there 🥺

I don’t know much about autism but @/autistichwsamerica (idk if they would want to be tagged lol) themselves is autistic and could give better/more info on that than I can

Also don’t worry about it, it’s totally okay to switch up hcs for characters and stuff !

I like to think Romano might have Bipolar disorder or bipolar depression (I have to look more into the difference as well as the things itself(I did a bit before but forgot lol)) as well as adhd and anxiety but I can see him with OCD too!

I do hc that Germany has OCD

North Italy and Sweden being autistic is also very good yes.

I like to think that Vene uses art as a form of stim and a self soothing method

Gilbert with chronic pain honestly feels not only fitting but it makes sense as well; fiber myalgia maybe?

I also really do like the idea of Al messing with his prosthetic as a fidget, I can and do use practically anything as a fidget toy and I think they would too, including their leg lol

Might implement that leg fidget into my own character

[clumsyclifford]

alrighty i would like to know 7, 9 for cruel summer fic but you can't say cruel summer, 11, and 32 -hazel

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii i love seeing you in here

7. What story/headcanons do you feel the proudest of? you know what i was JUST thinking about this, i think my answer at the moment is the jewish!cake 'verse. i'm just. so pleased and proud and delighted that i was able to take something so close and personal to me and put it into a fic in a way that i loved. and still love. and it was nervewracking to do so the fact that i did it anyway, and the fact that it's been received so well, feels really nice.

that being said i will also throw the amnesia fic in here because i did a ton of research on that in order to give a more or less accurate representation of the side effects and symptoms of a traumatic brain injury (yknow, apart from just Memory Loss) and iba said i did a good job and i also think i did a good job and i'm really happy that i managed to write a fic that is both scientifically accurate but also narratively really interesting. AND it's long, which is not my strength.

9. If you had to assign a theme song to fever dream high in the quiet of the night aka cruel summer fic, which would you assign? how CONVENIENT that i have a PLAYLIST for it!!!! (co-curated by me and @tirednotflirting aka sam). the first song on that playlist is hush hush by the band camino, and while it definitely isn't representative of the fic as a whole, it does make me think of the fic whenever i hear it and it definitely captures the Vibe at the beginning. so if not cruel summer, then maybe that. or august also by taylor swift.

11. How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc). this is an interesting question because ive been rereading a little bit of my older works lately and while i would still say that my writing style is driven by dialogue, i think my dialogue-to-narration ratio is a lot more even than it used to be. i used to rely HEAVILY on dialogue and the way my writing has developed i now make an active effort to include narration WHICH, i suspect, is probably partially responsible for why my word counts trend towards being higher lately. i don't know if this really answers the question. i guess i would say my style is character-and-communication-driven? if that's a thing? idk man i don't even think i'm the most qualified to answer this question i think YOU could probably answer it better

32. What story do you think showcases your signature style the most? well having just determined that i don't KNOW what my signature style is........hmmm. the thing is i also definitely think that my Writing Style changes depending on the fic. like, emo lashton is not going to be like human luke which is not going to be like cruel summer yknow? and considering just how Many Fics i have written this is a very hard question to answer. i have sorted my ao3 by word count and am scrolling through and my instincts are telling me either daydream fic or the rilisex it's always her, and me, and you fic. fluff with a little bit of plot (which is resolved so quickly by simple communication), contains humor and introspection, sweet but entertaining, lots of good relationships, etc.....idk those feel like me. i don't even think you've read that second one (i don't know if you've read daydream fic?) but that's the answer i've got

fanfic writer asks

[lillupon]

So, I've got a very long rant/opinion here and Idk really know how to say this without coming off kinda bad but I'm gonna say it anyways. I agree with the fact that the seventeen tag has been kinda dry lately on most fanfic places, but it's really only in the smut area. It's the sane way with other groups too I feel like. All of the nice little innocent tags are boomin to this day and thats completely fine. I think the smut tag is dry tho bc lately I feel like a few social issues (like sexualizing people and disrespecting them and their identity) have crossed over into kpop and have been ?blown out of proportion? Lately there's been a rampage of people who like to say that writing smut about someone is disgusting and is dehumanizing because people want to assume that it would make the idols uncomfortable which could equate to some morality issues on how you are reducing someone only to their body without their consent and a bunch of stuff like that. It kind of pisses me off bc this is fiction. About grown adults. Clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life. I think a shit ton is wrong with the world we currently live in, and deciding to come after something that isn't even real bothers me. Like what does that actually accomplish. But yeah, I think thats a reason why smut has been dying down. I mean, on youtube almost every video about unpopular opinions, or things they dont like about kpop will include something about shipping idols in fanfics. And then everyone in the comment section will talk about how its all fine and dandy in moderation, but once people start writing smut it's crossing the idols personal boundaries. It's something I've been seeing a lot more often and I think people who are interested in writing smut are being turned away from it bc we've gotten to a point where people are being called disgusting for having fantasies.

Hi Anon, thank you for sending in this Ask. 

I want to preface this by saying: when I write or talk about Mingyu and Wonwoo fucking on my blog, it is a fantasy. I am not speculating about what the real Mingyu and Wonwoo might be like in bed. I am imagining the versions of Mingyu and Wonwoo that I have created in my head, that exist only in my stories. None of it is real. I understand that this can be a blurry boundary for some people. But for me, the separation between fantasy and reality is well-defined. Now, on to your Ask!

You’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. You’ve also touched on many of the issues I have been struggling with myself as of late. It’s difficult to argue about morals since everyone has a different set of values, as well as different comfort levels. Some people think real person fiction (RPF) is a gross invasion of privacy. Others are fine with it. And others don’t care one way or another. There is no single answer; I can only offer my answer. Which means, of course, people are welcome to disagree with it, or parts of it. 

In this essay (LOL But forreal: this is an essay), I will be sharing my experience in the k-pop fanfic community from 2014 to present, the etiquette I personally abide by as a reader and writer of RPF, as well as my stance on RPF in general.

I started reading and posting fanfics back in 2014/2015 on a website called AsianFanfics (AFF). Obviously, no one on that site had a problem with RPF, since AFF is a platform made specifically for sharing stories about Asian celebrities. For many years, I read and enjoyed RPF with zero guilt. I scribbled away by myself in my own corner of fandom and curated my own content. I didn’t interact much with other fans, readers, or writers. I didn’t have a Twitter, and I only used tumblr to reblog memes. As a result, I’ve been able to avoid a lot of anti-shipping discourse, as well as purity and cancel culture. I had no idea there were so many negative opinions about RPF. It wasn’t until I became active on the subreddit r/Fanfiction last year that I learned about all the discourse surrounding RPF. 

This newfound ‘awareness’ does make me feel guilty at times—but only because after mulling this over, I still don’t think this is something to feel guilty about.

Here’s what I remember, first and foremost, when I create and consume RPF: fanfics and my favourite ships are fictional, and fiction is fantasy. This is basic etiquette when it comes to RPF, and most people in the k-pop fandom understand this. Delusional fans exist, of course, but they are not representative of the entire k-pop community. 

Another point of etiquette is to keep fanfics within fandom spaces. I would never push my fics into celebrities’ faces, or go around claiming that my fanfics are accurate representations of a k-idol’s life or personality, in any way, shape, or form. I would also discourage directing ship-related questions to official accounts, or bringing them up during fansigns or other face-to-face interactions; I believe that in these instances, shipping does have the potential to strain real-life relationships.

So with basic etiquette out of the way, let me share my approach to RPF in general.

As much as we like to think we know our favourite celebrities, we really don’t. All we see is their public persona. And this public persona is intentionally controlled, managed, and curated by a team of people: directors, tabloids, editors, makeup artists, publicists, etc. How “real” are these celebrities? We are so distanced from them that they may as well be fictional.

I draw from the public persona that idols project, and I work them into my own writing. But at the end of the day, these personalities are my own interpretation. My interpretation is probably nothing like an idol’s actual personality. I just use the “public persona/character” that idols portray as inspiration for my own stories, which are set in wildly different universes.

More than anything, I think of k-pop idols as “actors” in my fic. You know how when you write an original novel, you scroll through Google images, looking for the perfect person to portray your original character? RPF is literally that, except you might build upon pre-existing dynamics and personalities.

When it comes to explicit fanfiction, two main concerns are prevalent: one of consent, and one of sexualisation.

If we argue against explicit RPF due to lack of consent, we should be willing to apply the same lens to all explicit works. How do we know that the creator of a movie, book, series, etc., is okay with us using their characters in our stories, explicit or not? We don’t. Perhaps some creators encourage fanfiction, but don’t want their lovingly crafted characters engaging in sexual acts or experiencing trauma. We just don’t know. I feel this line is even more blurred when we talk about characters from movies or TV series.

Let’s take Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, as portrayed by Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan, from the Captain America movies as an example. I am willing to bet that when people consume and create explicit fanfiction about Steve and Bucky, they are imagining Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan in their heads. I doubt many people are imagining the 2D cartoon versions of Steve and Bucky, even though they’re technically the exact same characters. Why? Well, it could be because movies are more readily and easily consumed than comics, and so people are unfamiliar with comic book Steve and Bucky. But it might also be because fans find Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan attractive. Is this really any different from RPF, where fic authors make up everything about a celebrity’s life?  

When readers and writers of fanfic talk about how hot Steve Rogers or Bucky Barnes is, those comments are about Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan’s bodies. When reading explicit stories, fans are going to picture Chris and Sebastian’s bodies in their head, doing sexual things. Can we say, “Well, it’s not really you, Chris/Sebastian”, when in a way, it is?

The reality is, people are going to thirst over celebrities, regardless of whether or not explicit fanfiction exists. They’re going to post thirst tweets on Twitter. They’re going to talk to friends and strangers online about how hot [insert celebrity name here] is. They’re going to fantasize about dating and having sex with their favourite celebrity. Or, as it is in my case, they’re going to make up stories in their heads about their favourite idols dating and banging each other. People are going to do all of this without ‘getting consent’ from the celebrity. Cracking down upon and shaming writers of RPF isn’t going to change any of that.

To be honest, I’m not sure why people think it is disgusting to imagine sexual scenarios about real people. It is okay and normal to have these kinds of fantasies. I suppose the alternative is to fantasise about having sex with cartoon characters instead? It’s a very binary way of thinking to say that if you imagine/write real people in explicit scenarios, you are immediately sexualising, dehumanising, or objectifying them. There is more to dehumanisation than writing smut about our favourite celebrities. For one thing, you can love someone and appreciate all parts of them, and still want to fuck their brains out. And generally, fanfics come from a place of love—love that is not only sexual in nature.

Is it the sharing aspect inherent to fanfiction? The possibility that a celebrity might stumble upon explicit works about them? The chances are very low, I think, of the k-pop idols I enjoy writing about coming across my English fics. But I also believe in curating your own content, and that applies to celebrities too. Perhaps a celebrity should not go searching for fanfics about themselves. And of course, people should not show celebrities their fanfics, unless invited.

Another argument I hear against (explicit) RPF is, “How would you feel if someone wrote fanfiction about you?” First off, I don’t like this argument because there’s a difference between someone who decides to be a public figure versus someone who decides to remain a regular private citizen. Celebrities should and do know what they’re getting into when they choose their occupation. (This is not to say, “They are celebrities; sexualise them all you want because that’s what they signed up for.” Here, I am only acknowledging that people might have sexual fantasies about celebrities they are attracted to. Presumably, celebrities are cognizant of this.)  

If someone (whose existence I am not even aware of, mind you) decides they want to write explicit fanfiction of me in some tiny corner of the Internet, I wouldn’t care so long as: (1) they don’t shove it into my face, and (2) they don’t harass me and ask invasive questions about my personal life and relationships. It’s not hurting me or negatively affecting my life, so it wouldn’t even register as a blip on my radar. When fanfiction remains within its appropriate spaces, it is largely harmless. 

Now, if a k-pop idol were to ask their fans to stop writing fanfiction about them, would I? Yes, I would. However, I can’t imagine that happening. Judging by the number of ‘sexy’ concepts, fanservice moments, and variety shows such as ‘We Got Married’, I am certain that k-pop idols realise they are the stars of many fantasies—some of which are explicit in nature. Considering the prevalence of shipping in the k-pop industry, I would argue that shipping is subtly encouraged.

It’s sad that so many talented writers are shamed out of fandom, or feel that k-pop cannot be the medium through which they tell their stories, or explore their sexuality, or cope with trauma, or simply have fun. Professional works and Hollywood love their RPF—readers and writers of fanfics should be able to, as well. 

As you said Anon, “clamping down on horny people who simp over hot asian men isn't going to solve the issues we face in real life” (this is a lovely sentence, by the way). The kind of person who dehumanises another and reduces them to a sexual object will do so some other way, if not via fanfiction. I don’t think the issue of fetishisation can be fixed simply by telling people not to write explicit RPF. In my experience, people who read and write RPF are more respectful and thoughtful about these things than the general public. We’ve all seen the general public say highly sexual things about celebrities in the media and to their faces, or tag celebrities in their thirst tweets. Are these things less invasive than fanfiction? Personally, I don’t think so. And in my opinion, there are more pressing and damaging issues in stan culture than fanfic.

In conclusion, I don’t think there is anything wrong with creating and consuming RPF, both explicit and non-explicit so long as we:

Remember we are writing fiction

Keep RPF within its appropriate space, and

Do not harass celebrities about their personal lives and relationships

RPF is not for everyone. There may be people who enjoy RPF, but draw the line at explicit stories. This is fine. Everyone has their own personal preferences. What is not fine, however, is attacking people for creating things you don’t like. I’m not sure what kind of moral crusade people are on and what they hope to achieve by shaming writers of RPF, explicit or otherwise. Ultimately, fic authors are writing a fantasy. It’s not real; no one is being hurt. I think it’s important for people to curate their own content, and AO3 makes it very easy to filter out explicit works and unwanted tags. 

Maybe this is me trying to justify my own participation in explicit RPF—I don’t know. What I do know is that I love k-pop, and fandom is an important part of my media and entertainment experience. I adore the k-pop idols I write about, and I just want to imagine them being happy and getting lots of love and orgasms. Let a bitch be horny, goddamn…��

Some bonus fun facts!

At the time I am writing this, on AO3:

26.2% of Stray Kids fanfics are rated M or E

26.3% of Seventeen fanfics are rated M or E

29.0% of Merlin fanfics are rated M or E

34.9% of Captain America (Movies) fanfics are rated M or E

40.1% of BTS fanfics are rated M or E ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Coincidentally, I saw this post on Reddit this morning: Can we have a RPF positivity post?

[sempiternalrose]

Warning: This was written late at night and I wrote as the ideas came to mind. This is an accurate representation of how my mind works.

Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahah

What if there was third Creativity??

Like, Roman, Remus and Ramen.

Roman handles video ideas.

Remus does the whacko late at night ideas that shouldn't ever see daylight.

And Ramen does... Idk. I just was a third, crea- oh my god what if he's like tiny??? Like 5 year old sized and he gives all the child like ideas?

Just imagine, Roman and Remus babysitting this mini them, who keeps blurting out adorable ideas like "What if we did a video where all we did was answer questions and play with dogs?" Or "What if we did a crayon drawing contest?" And Roman turns these child's ideas into a slightly more mature version? And Remus does whatever the f*ck he wants?

I'm just saying, because everyone is talking about creativity splitting and I want Thomas to reveal a mini Creativity and just get a kid to dress up- oh god what if Ramen had a princess dress instead of a suit?

Like yes:

Prince Roman, grand and elegant.

Duke Remus, not grand and whack.

Princess Ramen, more adorable than Tayln as Virgil and Patton combined.

But let's fix Ramen's name to something that's gender neutral, because this kid is definitely where Thomas gets any and all feminity, not Roman, this kiddo.

I need this now. It's 2:30 am and I need.

What colours will this kid be?

I'm thinking of their name being Riley, because starts with R and has 5 letters.

Back to colours, pink. Maybe pink and grey? A nice grey though. And not bright pink, like baby blue, just pink.

Just imagine, Roman walking in dramatically, Remus doing a cartwheel and failing horribly, and sweet and innocent Riley slowly walking in with a little pink dress and a bow in their hair.

Just imagine the fluff!

Patton doing their hair.

Virgil telling stories/turning into a cat for snuggles.

Logan teaching the kid about space or whatever.

Roman playing dress up.

Deceit humouring Riley by changing his form into other sides? *Gasp* Changing into Riley so Riley has another kid to play with.

Remus not even trying to loose any innocence and you can see the actual struggle he's in to not ruin the precious.

Yes!

Back to titles, we got a prince, so can't be princess, we got a Duke, so can't be Duchess, but also this kid has they/them pronouns so.. what's their title?

Ight I googled it and couldn't find any SO. No title. Poof.

Long rant, and I'm not gonna stop until I'm out of ideas for Riley.

So, we went over the fluff, but what about the angst??

Unsympathetic Patton hating Riley because all the other sides are the same height as Thomas, why is this one so short? Why does it look like a kid?

Refusing to use they/them pronouns, even if that's what everyone else knows Riley prefers.

Hiding them away because Patton isn't entirely sure if it's a light side or not.

You can only really use Unsympathetic Patton here, because I mean.. what else can you do? I mean, Unsympathetic Virgil maybe hating Creativity all together, including Riley, might work.

Anyways, back to imagining fluff.

Say the split was when Thomas was.. 5? Just the two five year olds straight after the split holding this newborn kid? The other sides are so confused because of the split AND there's a baby?? But Remus and Roman don't even question it, they take turns taking care of Riley and holding them and OH MY THE FLUFF IS ENDLESS.

If someone could please draw Riley I will actually cry.

I dunno what you are imagining, but I imagine this kiddo in a baby pink dress with a grey ribbon tied into a bow on their head and around their waist, said ribbon being about a inch thick. *Another gasp* Flowers. Like- no hair ribbon. Flower crown. Pink and blue and white and green and red and purple flowers.

There are ALWAYS little thin strings on their wrist, one for each side and Thomas.

How did I go from wanting another Creativity just so it would be weird to needing this kiddo in my life?

Back to Riley, just.. best friends with Virgil. Best. Freaking. Friends. Yes, Riley hangs out with their brothers but Virgil is their best friend.

But like... While this kid is Creativity, they also represent innocence.

Like how Roman represents ego and Logan is maturity. (All sides represent more than they say, change my mind)

I think I'm finally out of ideas.

Mini Creativity in a pink- actually maybe orange? Hmm... I know it sounds kinda rude but like, most people associate pink with being a girl, like how black is associated with being dark.

What colour? Maybe mint? Maybe peach? Maybe pale green? Maybe no colour, like Pre AA Virgil, just grey. But like, pink makes the innocent part stand out more. Maybe they've got a white and black dress?

I prefer mint tbh but if you'd like it to be orange or something else you do that, I ain't gonna stop you.

Okay, I'm updating this as the ideas come to mind. Tell me your ideas please

[advice4smartgirls]

I hate my college so much... everything about school makes me sad which is upsetting because I used to love learning and I used to like my school and I just stopped liking it and idk why. I thought about transferring but I'm afraid that maybe i don't just hate MY college, maybe I hate college in general. I go to an ivy league school so transferring to anything less is taboo. I just feel empty inside and I don't have many friends here and all I ever wanna do is sleep and cry. idk what to do :'(

I think that it would be healthy to think about why it’s taboo to transfer to a school that is “less” than an Ivy League university. Are these standards you’re holding for yourself, or is it something that your family is holding over you? From what I gather from conversations with friends, Ivy League universities are not an accurate representation of a typical normal college social and educational atmosphere just because of the demographic of people who attend there, and they are very high stress institutions because of the emphasis on “academic excellence” (I put this in quotation marks because everyone has a different idea of what excellence is when it comes to academics) which can create at times a very unhealthy atmosphere. I think that it could be worth looking into transferring to another school - not going to an Ivy League school doesn’t mean that you won’t be any less successful in life, and besides, if you transfer to let’s say a liberal arts college, a state school or a community college someplace else, and you’re so much happier & find a group of friends who love and support you, is that more valuable to you than an Ivy League diploma? I would make a list of the pros and cons of transferring and really think if staying at somewhere where you’re unhappy just because it’s looked upon as something that’s prestigious is what’s best for you.

Does your university have any counseling assistance programs? It sounds like it might be a good idea to seek out help from a professional, especially one who understands how universities run and how to about figuring out what you want to do in terms of the rest of your college career. If not, it would still be worthwhile seeking the help of a professional outside of school - looking for help doesn’t make you any less strong or capable and is actually a really brave and strong thing to do. Asking a professor you’re close with to grab coffee and talk about this could also be beneficial.   

It is also entirely possible that college just isn’t for you. Our society puts a lot of pressure on college education being simultaneous with success in life, and that isn’t necessarily true. If not going to college at all is too daunting or something you don’t want to do, you might want to consider taking a year off and focus on yourself and what you really want and then move forward from there. There is absolutely no shame in being late to graduate university than what is expected or considered “normal” and taking time to focus on your mental health and well being. I promise that it will be far worth it in the long run. 

Best,

Laurel