#if tdp was doing that i'd be like 'maybe knock it off for now' but like

[raayllum]

Adding some fuel to the Ja/naya fire, there was a blog I used to follow that was a big Jan/aya stan (even made the ship name their url) and I put up with their less good takes for the tdp content until they started guilting people who use Tumblr as an escape for not devoting 90% of their blog to the depressing/genuinely upsetting issues of the world. Tbh I’ve been unfollowing a lot of people because of how common these kinds of takes have become... it really sucks.

damn, really wasn’t expecting anyone else to have shit to get off their chest but go for it. on topic of the actual ask though - because i do know that this is something that exists in a lot of different corners of the internet - 

as someone who has a multifandom main blog and then like, six sideblogs (this included, but i also have a “prince of egypt” sideblog so you can imagine how niche it gets sometimes) i made a decision a long time ago that my sideblogs would purposefully be separate from not only each other but all the stuff on my main. not only is that the point for better organization, but people are following me for certain things. that doesn’t mean my any of my blogs are void of “political” opinions - in some ways they’re full of them, because all my personal beliefs of being supporting things like blm or being pro choice are moral decisions for me and i like to think i live out my values here, in my writing, and of course offline in the courses i take, the books i read, and the relationships i have. 

but i made the choice a long time ago that most of that first hand reflection would go on my main blog so that if people want an escape from upsetting material (like, there’s always a level of removal when it comes to statistics related to Black people, because that will never be me because i’m not Black, but even my discomfort and guilt is the most positive feeling because for other people who are Black, that’s genuine fear and possibility) they can have it. no one can be exposed to signs of their own trauma or the world’s trauma constantly. 

i’m someone who has very little patience for bad takes on anything. like i unfollow for very small reasons and will just check general tags for the content i wanna see. curating your online experience is really important and like, i think the route of the issue you’re having is that people making those posts are operating under assumptions (which may or may not be true)

it’s assuming that Black people aren’t reading those posts and i’m pretty sure none of them need any more reminders about what they’re living day-to-day with their whole lives. it’s the assumption that compassion fatigue and burnout aren’t real for everyone. it’s the assumption that somehow, most people in certain predominantly liberal spaces (like tumblr) aren’t aware that we’re simultaneously living through a largely unprecedented pandemic with a rising death toll, trumpy in office, trans and queer rights being revoked, concentration camps in denmark, russia, and china, and along the usa-mexico border, indigenous and black people facing police brutality in canada, the uapa in india, yemen being the largest humanitarian crisis in the world with its population currently on the brink of extinction because of that same pandemic, and political corruption and protests against terrorism in the philippines. and climate change, and world hunger, and all the usual shit.  

and maybe you didn’t know all of those things until right now. maybe you’ve donated or gone to protests in support of all of them. maybe you’ve signed some petitions. 

but like. the world is a goddamn shit hole sometimes and i say that as someone who actually does have a very hopeful outlook on the world and a lot of faith in humanity as a species. and all of those are very important issues to educate yourself on and be aware of and we do need to put support towards them and uplift voices and the whole nine yards, do not get me wrong. 

but treating activism like capitalist profit where it has to be dominating your entire life because you Always Have To Be Productive + even more moral guilt tripping for taking a two hour break or just trying to cope with whatever is going on in your own life and stepping away from a constant stream of shit news? i’m not a fan. treating like what people do online in terms of retweeting all the right things all the right time is the peak of activism? 

social media is important. activism is extremely important. but you cannot help take care of other people or even contribute to movements if you’re going to destroy yourself in the process. you will actively be able to do less and we will lose you. we cannot preach self care and simultaneously shit on people for doing some of it. that’s counter productive and harmful to everyone involved. 

it’s the assumption that if you’re not constantly choosing to be angry or suffering or in pain than you’re doing something wrong. even though what activism is trying to stop, at its core, is the suffering of people who did not choose to be. sharing a load is one thing. actively feeling guilty for enjoying yourself because humans were not built to be miserable 24/7 is another. it also might be hard to imagine, but some people are having really good things happen to them right now, too. some people are getting engaged, or having a baby, or getting a job, or a book deal, or or or - and that doesn’t erase the shittiness. that doesn’t mean these good things aren’t individualistic. but goddamn let them have good life changing stuff sometimes, god knows there’s enough bad life changing stuff all the time too

i was watching a video earlier today, where a white women (hi my own demographic whom i hate) was harassing two hispanic women for speaking in spanish. another white woman stepped in and used her privilege and told her to gtfo. and seeing people actually use their white privilege is good and a sign of something going right. but then came the feeling of “i wish i could do that” and guilt that i wasn’t. and yeah, maybe i could, if i saw a similar case happen in front of me (thus far, i have not, but i am a very introverted person who doesn’t go out too often to begin with), but i’m also not going outside to stores right now because we’re in the middle of a pandemic and i do live with some elderly family members and i’m also helping people by staying home. 

so i have talks with my white family members about combatting white fragility and do my best to educate myself. i check my blind spots and look at things mainstream american media also isn’t talking about, like two indigenous people in my country who recently went missing. i check in on my friends and see how they’re coping with their own lives and covid. i sign any and all petitions i come across. (luckily the protests where i live have so far been peaceful and police haven’t escalated the violence.) i do my best to stay updated and to take care of myself.

i’m a human being. looking for bright spots in the darkness is what we do. that’s why we named stars. 

- Bertolt Brecht

and i will not apologize or be shamed for it