#if sucking on my canned pop isnt the way you want me to drink liquids you should think about your control issues instead

[reserwrekt]

Here's another one: I will not compromise over respect for who I am

[mallowmaenad]

im unemployed and smell bad. im slightly addicted to thc, i couldn't get passed undead burg in dark souls 1, I have manic depression, bpd, ptsd, autism and something like schizophrenia, i suck ass at most physical activities, I make microwave quesadillas at 3am, i eat pepperonies straight out of the bag, I can easily be pushed into a spiral of panic and sadness if you use a harsh enough tone with me, I drink to get drunk, all of my previous friend groups have abandoned me for my rancid vibes and mental illness, I have opinions on hentai, ny favorite streaming service is tubi, when i was a kid i would always get into the flash in the pan comeptitor to pokemon that would inevitably fail, i have completely silent orgasms, i sometimes go two or three days without changing clothes and sometimes don't shower for several days. I am still touch starved even though I have a girlfriend (im polyamorous but i dont think anyone else wants to hit at this point) I can't drive, I dropped out of community college, I have a fear of rain, I have given up on leaving my house to socialize, my favorite video game series of all time is Borderlands, I liked the live action super mario brothers movie, I go too far when it comes to kinning fictional characters, doing the dishes makes me really sad, I have such a specific hair color that it is hard to accurately render it in a piccrew. ive been on tumblr since 2013. I think homestuck is good. im a lesbian but id fuck big the cat. i feel bad about exerting authority in any of the like three discord servers I administrate. I kind of like the newest limp bizkit album and playsation 1 y2k liquid dnb jungle compilation playlists on youtube. I have just the right cocktail of adhd, memory loss, DID and chronic pain to make me seem like a lazy inconsiderate asshole. I dont care that the designs in dragon's crown are sexist. I have not listened to any presently relevant music other than Kendrick Lamar's diss tracks and struggle to recognize artists and celebrities by name, most of my skirts are so short that they're slightly inappropriate to wear in public and im not conventionally sexy enough to pull it off, my tits are small but are just large enough that they dont appeal to people who like small tits, I unintentionally put random affects on my voice, I want to learn japanese one day for nerd reasons but probably wont. I liked Rogue One, I suck at reading books, I hate going to places with a lot of people that play loud music, I hate 21st century pop a lot, I feel disconnected from the lgbt community despite being a transgender lesbian, I crave intimacy and pleasure but hate sex, im extremely easy to misunderstand in drastic ways, i think i might be a demon no i cant do any cool demon magic, i havent made music in several months and what i have made isnt very good and is technically incompetent because i dont have any actual training in any instruments, I think Pinkerton was a mediocre at best album, I like taco bell and don't care how much it fucks up my stomach, im a germaphobe with a piss fetish and yeah that makes it just about as conflicting and complicated as you may think it is, ive been kicked from age regressor discords, when I was early into my transition i modeled my fashion after vriska serket, i used to live off of shoplifted protein bars, ive barely ever paid rent on time when i was still paying rent, at multiple jobs ive worked at management has made it clear that everyone working there hates me. i play weird and obscure races in dnd. I do not like most of the final fantasy games released after final fantasy 9, I get sniffly and congested embarrassingly often, my dick is too short to be attractive to people that like long girldick and too long to be attractive to people that like short girldick, I like that cheap hot sauce is 70% vinegar. im like if tomoko kuroki was too large, too masculine and just old enough to no longer be moe anymore. anyway my dms are open

there is literally nothing in this world more endearing than a girl who is an absolute loser

[frenchfrywrites]

Beel's Favorite Beverage

MINORS DNI

a rq from the bestie <3 @teeth-farie asked for beel drinking piss

just a heads up that besties this one is filthy :) ik sometimes im subtle abt my piss kink (at least I think I am) but this isnt one of those times

soft (ish) dom top amab gn reader, sub bottom beel, piss/watersports/omo, piss drinking, cum eating, feminization, exhibitionism (can be skipped, starts at "Though, it gets a bit tricky sometimes..." and ends at "Yet, despite those close calls...") slight degradation, under negotiated kink and beel gets pouty but everything is consensual and sane and sweet.

It didn’t surprise you to find that Beelzebub has an oral fixation, with the way that he so frequently chews on his pencils, his clothes, his nails, and how he sucks on hard candies, and his fingers, and silverware when he's done eating. Anyone could have put two and two together. Though what did surprise you was how often- near obsessively he wanted to suck your cock. He tugs on your shirt at any moment of free time, sending you puppy eyes and glancing down at your groin, sending you subtle signals that he wants to deepthroat you. And how could you ever say no?

So here you are, having been sitting on your bed for hours, messing around on your phone while Beel holds you in his mouth, his nose nestled against your pubes, softly suckling or swallowing around you every once in a while but largely just content with warming you.

Suddenly there was a twinge in your bladder. You knew this was bound to happen eventually, but with how comfortable and sedated Beel looks right now, you decide to hold on for as long as possible.

When the urge to pee gets harder and harder to ignore you gently push at his head a bit, trying to get him off so you can go. Beel looks up at you, confused, staying in his place. “Beel baby, I have to- I’ve got to pee,” you tell him, a bit frantic with how bad it is now, trying again to push him away.

Beelzebub's eyebrows furrow for a second. He closes his eyes, thinking, meanwhile your thighs are shaking as you try your best to hold in your pee. And then he’s giving you the biggest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen.

You're hit with disbelief. “Jesus, are you - do you want me to- to pee in your mouth, Beel?” he nods, or tries his best to, without hurting you. You sigh, “I mean if you’re really sure…" you're a bit hesitant but also desperate now with how bad you have to go. "Try not to spill anything, I don’t want any getting on me, or you, or the bed." Again Beel does his best to nod. "Okay then."

You take a few shaky breaths, trying to relax, Beel reaches up, stroking your thighs softly, awaiting your piss patiently. Shutting your eyes, you find you're unable to look at him while you release into his mouth. Due to your nerves your pee comes out in bursts. Upon the first stream hitting his mouth Beel moans, creating vibrations against your cock and making you stop. He whines, sucking, hoping you start to go again. You do once you’re relaxed enough, and with the second stream you moan, filling his mouth with your salty pee, feeling him swallow around you as he gulps down the liquid. This stream is the longest, but Beel has no problems slurping it down without letting anything leak out of his mouth. When you stop for a second time Beel doesn’t pull off, he stays there for a bit, and you’re glad he does because you end up spurting out a bit more.

Once you’re really finished emptying your bladder you open your eyes again, looking down to see Beel looking up at you- looking like he’s savoring the taste of a five course meal made of all his favorite foods, fisting his cock, while his cheeks burn a bright red. You run a hand through his hair pulling him up a bit. This time he follows, slowly easing off your dick. Before he lets you out of his mouth he runs his tongue over your tip making sure he gets every drop of your piss, and making sure you’re clean when he releases you with a pop.

“You liked that?” you test, your voice soft as you pet his head gently.

“Yuh-” Beel pauses to clear his throat, his voice is rough after not using it for hours, “yeah. Yes. You taste-” his pupils dilate as pre bubbles at his head, “you taste so good.” You feel yourself getting aroused at his reaction.

“Tell me more,” Beel licks his lips.

“I liked that it was dirty. Something ‘m not supposed to drink, but you let me. You gave me permission." He pauses, increasing his pace, "I- hah, liked that I could do what you told me to do, I drank it all and didn't spill," you interrupt,

"You did such a good job," it's a bit weird to be praising him for how well he drank your piss, but perhaps what's weirder is how naturally it comes. Beel flushes at your words. You stroke yourself slowly, growing hard from his words, "keep going," you encourage, your voice deep and rough.

"Um ah, it made me feel good to do what you said. And you- your pee was so hot, and salty, n’ so good. I dunno how to explain more,”

“That’s okay baby girl,” he shivers, “that’s all I needed to hear.” you increase your pace, matching Beel’s. “You’d want to drink my piss again? Be my own ungh personal toilet?” Beelzebub whines openly at that,

“Yeah, ungh, yes, please, mhmm can I, all the time?” he begs, again pulling those irresistible puppy eyes.

“Yeah, fuck I’ll piss in your mouth whenever you want, baby,” you agree, not really thinking it through, driven only by how horny you are right now.

Beel cums not long after you say that, spilling his load all over the bed. He opens his mouth, encouraging you to cum in it when you climax. You slip your cock inside, rubbing yourself along his fat, soft, warm tongue. The sensations aid you in quickly shooting your cum down his throat.

Afterwards the two of you clean up and get back in bed to cuddle, kiss, and eventually sleep.

Of course you jotted that down as an unforgettable experience to try again, but you were entirely unprepared for how life changing the event was for you- and Beelzebub alike.

-

The next morning you get up with Beel and go about your morning routine. Midway through breakfast with the brothers you stand, intending to go to the restroom.

“Where are you going?” Beel, who's seated next to you, asks softly, tugging your shirt so you don’t leave before answering his question.

“Bathroom,” you reply, and Beel stands up. You give him a confused look but he just stares back at you, with a little air of expectancy, but largely unreadable. You shrug, making your way to the restroom, Beel hot on your trail.

He comes in with you, closing the door behind him and dropping to his knees with his mouth open wide.

“What are you doing?” you whisper-shout, semi-amused at whatever he's up to. It’s Beel’s turn to look perplexed.

“You- you said you would pee in my mouth all the time. You said you would use me,” he explains like you’re the crazy one here. You run a hand over your face, thinking through what you said last night.

“I did say that, didn't I?” Beel nods, opening his mouth again. You laugh- a bit deliriously, shaking your head. “Alright, okay,” you give in, unzipping your fly and pulling down your pants and underwear enough to release your cock. Beel licks his lips once, then opens his mouth again, waiting obediently. “We gotta be quick, try not to get hard,” knowing his family, if you’re in here for too long together questions will be asked. Beel nods, understanding, so you push your tip in, letting out a pleased sigh at how warm and welcoming his mouth is.

This time your piss comes out all in one long stream. You brush Beel’s hair tenderly out of his face as he eagerly gulps down your pee, his eyes closing and his fists curling. When you’re done you pull out, smearing anything leftover on Beel’s lips. He moans, licking his lips first then leaning in to clean your cock. You watch him slowly lick all over your dick, and it takes extreme restraint not to get hard.

When you’re clean you tuck yourself back into your underwear and pull up your pants. “Good girl,” you praise, stroking his cheek. Beel leans into your touch with a hum. You pull back after a second to wash your hands, and when you’re done Beel is standing brushing dust off his pants.

You open the bathroom door for him, “ladies first,” and Beel laughs softly at your words, but blushes all the same. The two of you walk hand in hand back to the dining room, like nothing happened.

-

Beelzebub makes you live up to your promise. It’s not like he’s forcing you or anything, you certainly get as much- if not more pleasure from the experience. So, with consent all around, you continue to use Beel like a urinal.

Though, it gets a bit tricky sometimes; you have to be inconspicuous so people don’t catch wind of anything, and there have certainly been close calls. Once, Lucifer found you both exiting the restroom at the same time, and he lectured you on messing around in public spaces, fully oblivious to the fact that Beel had just finished drinking your piss for the fourth time that day. Another time, Belphie made an offhand comment on how you’re always going to the bathroom together, so to ease suspicions you stagger when you go. And most recently, a random demon entered the typically vacant bathroom you and Beel use when you’re at RAD, and likely assuming Beel was simply sucking your dick, the demon stuttered out an apology and rushed out of the bathroom.

Yet, despite those close calls, Beelzebub desperately prevails with his piss drinking agenda. He makes sure he’s always there when you need to go. However, there are times where you pee without him (because you’re human, and there’s going to be times when you just can’t hold it any longer), and he always gets fussy when he learns about that. Being the good and loving partner you are, you try to make it up to him when that happens.

You’re making it up to him now.

You hold onto his hips as you ease yourself into him. He lets out a choked moan when you settle fully inside of him

“There you go, pretty girl,” you pat his strong thighs, and Beel rocks his hips back against your cock. “Feel good?” he turns his head, looking away from you as he pouts. You hold back how badly you want to laugh, “Beel, baby, I said I was sorry,” you remind him, cupping his cheek gently. Despite himself Beel leans into your touch, so you begin to rock your hips into him, hoping to improve his mood through pleasure.

“Faster please,” Beel whines softly, rocking back against your hips. You smile, picking up your pace upon his request.

With every thrust he gets less “upset”, and more loose and open with his reactions. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you in closer.

“It's ok, I forgive you,” he tells you, clenching around you tighter. Though you’d been trying not to, you huff out a laugh at his acceptance of your apology. You then lean in and kiss him, pounding into him even harder.

Now that he’s stopped pouting, Beel starts moaning, whining, and whimpering up a storm, all the while still trying to kiss you. His huge cock is bouncing against his stomach as you fuck into him. You grab hold of it, stroking him in time with your thrusts,

“You like it when I touch your clit don’t you?” you ask, and Beel whines your name, arching his back into you,

“Yeah, ahh ‘m gonna cum soon, ungh can I?” you kiss him instead of answering vocally, hoping he can tell you’re more than okay with him cumming already.

It doesn’t take much longer, just a few more thrusts against his prostate and when you focus on stroking around his head, he climaxes, his cum shooting onto his upper stomach and chest.

You slow down, letting him catch his breath.

“Fuck my mouth,” he states simply when he’s recovered from his orgasm, and shit, you’re not going to argue with him. You pull out slowly, trying your best not to overstimulate him.

Then you readjust, shimmying up so you can align your dick with his mouth. Beel holds onto the backs of your thighs for support as he opens his mouth for you. Minding his sharp teeth you start to fuck his throat. You’re lucky Beel doesn’t have a gag reflex, so you can really get your cock fully engulfed in his hot, wet mouth. It never takes you long to cum when you’re fucking his throat, and soon groans- along with precum, start flowing from you. The groans couple with the sound of your balls slapping against his chin to create a filthy cacophony within your room.

Beel sucks hard, working you up, bringing you closer to the edge. You’re pulled over when you feel a familiar strain on your bladder.

“Cumming- ahh- cumming,” you warn, doubling over, caging his head in and jackhammering your cock into his mouth. Beel guzzles down your cum happily- similar to how he is with your piss, he doesn’t let a drop escape his mouth.

“Beel,” you moan softly, “‘m gonna piss too,” he makes a noise that is entirely backed by his excitement, his sweaty hands tightening around your thighs. You relieve yourself, hearing both of you moan when your pee hits his tongue. Though your brain is largely muddled and scattered with different thoughts right now, you come to the conclusion that this could never get old. You could piss into Beel’s mouth every day of your life and never get tired of the way he looks up at you so adoringly, like you're giving him everything he’s ever wanted- ever needed.

When you’ve finished, and Beel has gone through his ritual of cleaning you up afterwards, you pull away, flopping next to him on the bed. Beel leans in to kiss you but you stop him with your finger,

“Ah, I know you like it Beel, but how about you brush your teeth before kissing me?” Beel laughs, nuzzling his head into your chest,

“M’kay,” he agrees easily, kissing your skin instead. You’re glad he’s back to the happy Beel you’re used to.

“Hey, what if…” you start, cheeks flushing as you start speaking without thinking. He hums, prompting you to continue. “What if those times you’re gone and I have to go… what if I,” your voice quiets, nervously speaking out the rest, “what if I peed into a bottle so you could drink it later?”

Beelzebub's eyes shoot open, and an ecstatic grin spreads across his face. You figure this is going to become another part of your life now, though if you’re honest, you’re definitely looking forward to it.

[a-pretty-nerd]

Shut Him Up (Rodrick Heffley x male!reader)

Request: "Can I get a rodrick x male reader (preferably smut) idk what the story would be but I can't find any thing x male reader atm" ~anon

Yeah, that needs to be fixed! ❤❤❤

A/N: Okay, so usually when I write lgbt fics its been L or B, lets get into the G. I'm kinda surprised to see that there isnt a whole lot of gay Rodrick fics, cuz I've heard a few people finding out they were gey from having a crush on the og Rodrick. This is my first time writing for a male reader, so, if I mess anything up or there is something you'd prefer! Don't be afraid to ask! As always, your requests and feedback keep me going! ✌❤

Warnings: NSFW, guy on guy smut, etc.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tensions had been high for you lately. High school was no fucking picnic, and the finals that semester were worrying you particularly. The way your boyfriend didn't even bat an eye at the idea of piles of work, and threw it aside without a care it the world, unerved you a bit. Or more accurately, pissed you off.

He'd been doing that latley. Annoying you. Even when the two of you were just friends, Rodrick had this habit of getting on your nerves. That didn't go away when your relationship turned into something much, much more.

Rodrick never really had to come out and say he was gay. You had a hunch when you first met, and over a year or so just being friends you came to the conclusion. What sealed the deal? Well, don't you remember that party? The drinking? The hot make out session on the host's couch which progressed to clumsy dragging into the bathroom. Rodrick makes such a sweet needy bottom, doesn't he? No matter how much he'd swear he's a top.

He's sweet, and needy in general. However, on this particular afternoon, he's been annoyingly talkative and in command. It's not like you guys have a strick, 'I'm the big guy and he's the little guy' situation. But today, you're really not in the mood to be bossed around by anyone. You're stressed, tired, and tense as hell.

Laying on his already pretty small twin sized bed, trying to relax and watch a movie. You're head is nuzzled into his chest as you watch the screen. A leg swung around his hip, and your body mostly resting on his side and shoulder. That would usually be a soothing and comfortable experience. If it wasn't for the incessant and unrelenting sound of Rodrick's stupid voice. He's going on and on about his band. Normal you'd be all into hearing about the new equipment, or gig, or trick he just learned. But not today.

Your breathing heavy with pain, and your body shifting to try and undress your state of uncomfort. You look up at your boyfriend's preoccupied face. Why does he have to be so cute when he's being so annoying? Fuck it. You reach up, and pull his face towards you. Pushing up, your kiss him passionately, forcing him to shut up. His voice is muffled, and it fades in a moan as his eye close and he melts into it. Its a long, and passionate kiss. You throw all of your current emotions of fustration into it, which just makes it harder. When you finally seperate, theres an audioable smack.

"Mmh...What was that for?" Rodrick asks with heavy eyes.

"Shut up." You tell him hushed as you pull him back down to you by the neck. Kissing him once again, he adjusts himself so he's holding himself over you. As you make out, your hands travel all over his torso. He moans when you pull away from his plump lips, and you kiss his neck. He loves it when you leave hickies. You gently bite and suck the soft flesh as he lets himself fall slightly onto you. He's leaning on you now as you reach down and pull up his shirt. He pulls away to take it off, and reaches for yours to make it even.

He then leans in and moans into your neck. With your knee held up against his growing erection, you rub him through his jeans. The sound that comes from him only makes you harder. Suddenly you're reminded of your own situation. The tightness in your own pants is slowly becoming more and more unbearable. When Rodrick begins kissing down your chest and all the way down to your belly, a chill goes down your spine. You buck your hips up slightly, a little way of telling him what you want. He smiles coyly, and bites his bottom lip. Unbuttoning your jeans, and pulling them off. It only releases a small amount of tention, you're still in your boxers. He kisses your clothed member in random spots. You twitch with need.

"Uh, fuck, Rodrick." You grunt out, bucking up a little again. He chuckles to himself, and frees you finally. His as if by habit goes to your base to hold you in place. Suddenly his wet tongue slides up from the base to your tip. He swirls his tongue around your head, and you let out a moan. You shudder when he finally wraps his plump lips around it, and starts to bob his head. Taking more and more of you in. The warm feeling of his mouth makes you let out heavy breaths. Before you know it, he's practically deepthroating you. His tongue wrapped around the bottom of your cock as he takes you in and out. When he moans, it sends small vibrations through your flesh and it tickles.

"Mhh, mgh, fuck," he says as he pulls up with a loud pop, "I love your cock." He tells you with a wet smile. God bless those lips of his. But fuck...were you close. He sits up, and strips as you lean over and pull put lube from his bed side table. You squirt a good glob on your fingers as Rodrick climbs over and strattles you. You reach around, and prep him as you kiss his neck and chest. He closes his eyes and leans on you as you finger his hole to make sure he's ready for you. Then suddenly, you find yourself doing it just to tease him. "Ahh, Y/N, just fuck me already!" He whines. You chuckle as you kiss him again and position yourself.

"Ready, love?"

"Yes!- ah!" He shouts as you suddenly slide it in with ease. You begin thrusting, forcing him to hold onto your shoulders. He begins bouncing back into your cock. His moans and whimpers are so cute. He only gets worse when you start strocking his cock as he bounces on yours.

"Mmmmhhh like that baby?" You ask him, he just nods as he bites his bottom lip. You feel him begin to twitch in your hand, and he starts panting.

"Mh mh mh I-I’m gonna cum." He tells you, so you begin thrusting faster and faster. Your own orgasm nearly to the brink. Suddenly his eyes shoot open and he looks down at you with a gasp. "I'm cumming! I'm cumming!" He tells you as his cock starts to squirt all over your chest. You let out a few grunts as the hot liquid covers you and only makes you reach out to slam Rodrick down a few more good times. Forcing your orgasm. You let out a moan and a gasp as you cum in his ass. He whimpers as he feels you release. He leans down and kissing you sweetly to pull you back to earth.

The two of you, panting messes, Rodrick finally pulls off of you. He lays down next to you the best he can, and looks at you after a few minutes of catching your breath. You look back, and smile at one another.

"Seriously, what was that for?" He asks finally.

"I...seriously just wanted you to shut up." You tell him. He lets out a high pitched laugh and rests his head on your shoulder.

"I'm not that bad!" He argues and you chuckle at him.

"Yes you are! But I still love you anyways." You share a sweet kiss.

"I love you, babe."