#if someone asks me what i want for my bd my answer would be volume 25 and 26 of naruto

[jenmisukke]

when i tell you i burst into tears over this page

kishimoto said: the shit sasuke's been through isn't enough i need to give him inferiority complex daddy issues and perfectionism

[putschki1969]

Hikaru Birthday Event 2018 – Live Report

So…since my last report was stupidly deleted by yours truly and I only provided a mini-report, I thought I would write a proper one for you now. This time around I am using google docs so I hope nothing will be deleted. Without further ado, let’s get to it!

The day of the event was my second day in Japan. I was still quite exhausted from my travels but oh well, it wasn’t too bad. I got up pretty early and met up with my friend Sai to line up for the merchandise. We were at the venue (Suntory Hall Tokyo) at around 10 am to make sure we got everything we wanted. Thankfully the wait wasn’t too bad since we were protected from the sun underneath the building. It was still humid as hell but pretty bearable. Some Japanese Kala-fans from twitter said “hi” to me and as always I was super awkward. Sorry!! Anyways, after the wait was over, we finally got to buy our goods. I bought pretty much everything except the towel because meh, I am not a fan of towels. So yeah, I got the white shirt with the pink triangle, the cap, the ticket file and the booklet\clearfile set. Here’s a sneak peek at the booklet in case you haven’t seen it yet 〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→ CLICK ME

By the way, the goods are available on the Space Craft Online Store since yesterday so be sure to get them quickly!! https://spacecraft-shop.jp/kalafina

Afterwards we headed to “La Maison Kioi” (the Kalafina SPICE interview location) to enjoy some cake. Then we headed to Shibuya to check out the Starbucks seat Keiko sat at in the 10th Anniversary Film. Just a while back, Hikaru had tried out a Calpis drink so e decided to have it too. The place (Afternoon Tearoom) was close by so that was very convenient. The lassi was certainly interesting, it had quite the unique taste, not sure I would order it again though XD.

Slowly heading back to the venue, we came across a bunch of fellow Kala-fans who had just gotten out of the afternoon event. We only heard good stuff so of course we were more than excited. At the venue we met up with lots of other Kala-fans and made some new friends. Then after another hour or so we were finally allowed inside. I delivered my letter and the ones by @theraspberrybushes and @mello-chi and then I went to my seat.

The event started on time…with a more or less unspectacular power point presentation regarding all the questions Hikaru had been asked in the questionnaire. I am pretty sure they used all the questions because there were at least 40 or something. No way in hell I could memorise all of that, especially since the questions/answers went by way too fast. Some random stuff I remember. • Hikaru’s favourite numbers are 2 and 7 • She owns around 1000 mangas • She can read a volume in about 30 minutes • If she hadn’t become a singer she would have wanted to become a mother in her 20ies • The type of character she likes in games: Men-tough; Women-peculiar and beautiful • The type of men she likes: Kind and calm • Favourite colours: Monochrome, blue and red • Favourite game: Momotaro Dentetsu • He favourite castle is Himeji • Her favourite characters in FGO are Gilgamesh and Shiki

Sorry, I can’t think of anything else. She also replied to my questions about recommendations in Toyama but she wrote like ten places or something and there was just no way for me to read it that quickly (especially since I suck when it comes to location kanji) But really, the questions weren’t exactly the highlight of the event but the most amazing part about this section were the childhood pictures of Hikaru which were randomly thrown in between questions. Like seriously the cutest pictures ever of baby Hikaru (and her little sister). Chibi-Hikaru was so freaking adorable, I could barely contain myself. We saw her wrapped up in cute winter clothes with her cheeks all red from the cold. With pig-tails!  (♥ω♥*) We saw her in her pjs at home watching TV.

Then she finally came on stage wearing the gorgeous outfit you saw in the blog post. The top is by IENA in case anyone is interested. Of course I ended up buying it because how could I resist???? http://zozo.jp/?c=gr&did=55355842

She sat down and personally replied to three more questions that were asked frequently. The first one was about her in-ear-monitors. Someone was curious what they always hear when they wear them. Hikaru explained how they work and how they tune out unnecessary noises etc. Next question was about which merchandise she designed was the most memorable for her. She didn’t actually reply to that question iirc but she used that opportunity to introduce this event’s goods. A staff member rolled up a cart with all the merchandise and she introduced them all similar to what she wrote in the Harmony countdown. Sakurada Hirotaka helped her come up with the goods so he deserves credit as well. She also explained that the colours of the shirts represented Kalafina’s origin colours. The final question was about mobile games and how much time she usually spends playing them. If she is into a game and there is an event going on, she will pretty much play all day long. As soon as she gets up, on the train, during breaks, in bed…until she falls asleep XD

Next up was the manga corner. I spaced out a little here. She always read a page out of one of her beloved mangas and then she talked about why this section felt so special to her. ・xxxHOLiC ・My Hero Accademia ・Tenshi Nanka Ja Nai

Please don’t ask me what she talked about. I have literally no idea. I have never heard of these mangas so it didn’t make much sense what she was talking about. But still, it was very nice to see her talk about her passion.

We played Janken afterwards and two lucky winners (one of them my friend Sai) got a present from Hikaru and got to go up on stage. While I can’t say I care much for the mangas they received as present, I would have killed to get a chance to go up on that stage. Oh well, turns out I suck at Janken. XD Somehow I completely forgot how to play it T_T

The Live

宝石-Houseki: WOW! Just wow! I didn’t know that this was the song Hikaru auditioned with. But hey, that explains why she was eventually chosen because man, she slayed! She sounded amazing! I think the song was slowed down a bit, yeah, it definitely was. Her performance was so powerful and tragic, she almost sounded like she was using elements from Keiko’s and Wakana’s voices. She had the same oomph as Keiko and yet there was a hint of tragedy (the same tragedy you usually get from Wakana). Flawless, absolutely flawless. Honestly, I am not even sure which version I like better, Hikaru’s or Keiko’s.

プラチナ-Platina: This is apparently one of her most frequently sung songs at karaoke. She absolutely loves it. It was an okay performance, I can’t say I like that song very much (it’s too cutesy for my taste) and I don’t think the song is particularly suited for Hikaru’s voice but Hikaru was super adorable and all smiles and she obviously had a blast with it so I was happy for her.

北ウイング-Kita Wing: Wow!! Just. Wow!! Hands down one of my favourite performances of that night. I had never heard that song before but Hikaru’s rendition was absolutely gorgeous. I just got to listen to the original version and OMG, they changed it SO MUCH. They slowed it down a lot and made it sound so much more tragic and sad. It left a lasting impression and I think I will have to buy it now. So beautiful.

CAT'S EYE: Sakurada wrote a special jazz arrangement for this song. I wish there was footage of this performance. Hikaru was so freaking sexy here. The way she moved to the lyrics, especially during that “sexy” line! Oh boy! Nosebleed!!! And it was a song I actually knew so YAY about that. If I remember correctly, I think it was actually one of the songs I voted for so double YAY.

ARIA: Finally, the song I had been waiting for. I obviously voted for this because it’s one of my all-time favourite Hikaru songs and I loved the 10th Anniversary version so freaking much (everyone else also voted for it so I kinda knew this would make it onto the setlist). This version was in a slightly higher pitch I think but not as high as the original version. She sang it with so much emotion, at this point I first started crying. Once again Hikaru mentioned that this song means the world to her and it has taught her so much. It’s always special if she gets to sing it and every version is different/unique. I was a bit sad because all the Wakana/Keiko/Kajiurago parts were left out. I had hoped she would sing that WaKei section after the bridge. It’s literally one of my favourite parts of the song because of the lyrics. But oh well, it was still a mind-blowing performance and Hikaru knocked it out of the park. She struggled a bit during the 10th Anniversary performance (especially during the final verse - although studio magic made sure it sounded well-rounded on the DVD/BD) but here she hit every note.

Blackbird: Hikaru mentioned that we would all recognise this song once we heard the chorus but meh, it seems I am the only one who has never heard of this song. Guess it’s because I have never really listened to the Beatles. Sorry to everyone who thinks that’s blasphemy or something. Either way, Hikaru made me really like this song although it will not become my favourite. Nothing about it was very memorable so I have a hard time remembering any details. I just know that Hikaru sounded really chill and cool. She obviously enjoys to sing this type of song.

Honesty: It’s honestly embarrassing how few songs I knew during this live. This was another one I had never heard before but boy, Hikaru made me fall in love with it immediately. I don’t know what it was about her performance but it was just so touching and emotional, it seemed like she meant every word she was singing. Everytime she sang “honesty” my heart broke a tiny little bit. The feels! Oh, the feels!!

Just the Way You Are: Can’t say I ever cared much for this song but once again Hikaru brought something special to it that made me appreciate how lovely this piece actually is. It really felt like she was singing from the heart. On that note, I would like to mention that her English pronunciation was really good during all the English songs. You most definitely understood what she was singing and she tried her best to emphasise each and every word. Very impressive. That’s certainly not a given with Japanese artists. Although I guess we all know that Hikaru’s English is very good. After this song, Hikaru told the Japanese audience that even though they probably didn’t understand the English lyrics, she hoped she was able to convey the meaning through her singing (she was!!). She invited everyone to check out all the lyrics because they are all super beautiful.

魂のルフラン- Tamashi No Rufuran: I was one of the people who voted for Zankokuna Tenshi no These so when she started to talk about Evangelion I freaked out a little. Unfortunately she ended up singing this song instead. I haven’t really watched the series so I only ever knew the OP and nothing else. Can’t say this song left a lasting impression. I don’t remember much from it. T_T Sorry, Hikaru. And sorry to everyone who had expected a more throrough report. I think she struggled a bit during the high parts here but it wasn’t too bad.

History Maker: I am embarrassed to say that I once again didn’t recognise the song. It sounded familiar but I couldn’t for the life of me remember where it was from. I was confused because I thought it was a Western song but Hikaru had mentioned she would sing anime songs now. I was like, “ehh???” Only afterwards when Hikaru mentioned it was from Yuri on Ice I suddenly remembered. [I am definitely the most clueless person when it comes to anime] This was most certainly the most upbeat and fun song of the night. Everyone was hyped and Hikaru was running around the stage, trying to connect with as many people in the audience as possible. And it worked. So much power, so much strength. Simply amazing. She really managed to capture the spirit of the song. Can’t say I watched the anime but I know it’s about sports and figthing spirit and boy, after this performance I was SO READY to climb Mount Fuji XD (which is good since I actually did climb Mt. Fuji the day after). Once she was finished Hikaru told us that actually no one had voted for her to sing this song but since it’s one of her faves she thought it would be okay to include it, this was “Hikaru’s vote” so to speak.

sprinter: Hands down my favourite performance of the night. The lights were dimmed and all you could hear was Hikaru’s voice which was already brimming over with emotion. The arrangement was super slow, she sang pretty much all the lines (including Wakana’s and Keiko’s). She didn’t sing the Kajiurago parts though. When she got to the “kimi ni aitai…” part, the hall became completely dark and there was just a tiny light illuminating Hikaru. Her voice was raw and fragile and very quiet. She wasn’t even singing them properly, it was more like she was saying them to us. It’s hard to explain but it was utterly heartbreaking. Tears everywhere. She only sang that part once and I think that’s for the best because this way it was incredibly powerful. And even though you could barely see her face you could definitely hear her voice break. She ended the song with Wakana’s line, “I'm calling your name”. By the end of the performance everyone was in tears and you could see Hikaru wiping away a tear too.

That was the end of the live, Hikaru took a bow and thanked everyone. When she told the audience to give a big round of applause to Sakurada he started playing the first tunes of “Happy Birthday”. It was a bit awkward at first because Japanese audiences never know what to do in situations like that. But they caught on surprisingly fast and so everyone was singing for Hikaru. That’s when Hikaru pretty much broke down into tears and watching this made me cry even more. She desperately tried to compose herself afterwards but nope, she couldn’t. Whenever she started to speak, a new wave of emotions seemed to hit her. She had to use a towel to wipe her tears away. She said that she didn’t expect Sakurada to play the birthday song for her (although I think that’s not true because he apparently played it during the afternoon event too but I forgive her for that little lie XD). Oh well, whether she was surprised or not she seemed to be moved either way and that is the only thing that counts. She thanked us for coming, thanked us for making this night incredibly special for her and finally assured us that she would forever remember this evening and treasure it within her heart…during the whole time tears were streaming down her face. She hopes that the next time we all meet there will be less tears and more laughter. She apologised for crying so much (oh please, Hi-chan, never apologise for that!!!!) Then she left the stage and the audience was asked to remain seated until told otherwise. The individual rows were asked to wait in line and leave the hall one by one.

That’s when we all got our personal greeting and postcard from Hikaru. She was standing outside wearing the white shirt from the merchandise and she handed each and every person a handwritten note and thanked them once again for coming. The staff people were rushing everyone out but fans were able to talk to Hikaru for a milli-second. When it was my turn I was shaking and I started crying again. Hikaru smiled at me and gave me one of her English cards (like seriously, she even prepared English cards for her foreign fans! So thoughtful of her!). I told her that I was incredibly moved by her performance (as if my crying wasn’t indication enough) and it looked like Hikaru was about to start crying too but then I was ushered outside so I can’t know for sure. I was shaking so much and then and it took a few minuted to compose myself.

All in all it was a super special event and I am so glad I got the chance to attend it. Hikaru is a born solo performer and she owned the stage throughout the entire event. She made me fall in love with her even more. You could really tell how much she cared about her fans. Right now I am very grateful that she is there for us and wants to be close to us. This event and all her blog posts make me so very happy, you have no idea. My only regret is that Hikaru didn’t mention Wakana and Keiko during the evening event. Why did she only talk about them during the afternoon event? So unfair! But oh well, it’s not like I missed much. She basically just told the audience that they are keeping in touch and that she had received birthday geetings from both of them (duh! Of course she did! Did anyone doubt it?) and that Wakana regularly sends pictures of her plant babies. They are all doing their own thing now so I understand and respect their choice (yes, I think it’s their choice and they are not forced by Space Craft) to lay low and not mention the others too much. However, it’s still nice when they do.

Okay, that’s a wrap. Hope you enjoyed this and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask

[midnight-in-town]

Hello Acchan! I was wondering if you had any new ideas about Lord Sirius' identity? Do you prefer Sirius being iClaudia or the twin or even someone new?

Hello Anon! Ah, such a question xD But yes, I still think Sirius could be one of the two (unless they’re a completely new character indeed, which is less probable imo but still a possibility until we know Sirius’ identity). 

Okay so, before I answer, let me just say something. I reached a point in my life as a Kuro fan where I’m now convinced that the 2CT will very probably be made canon and, while I’m still not the greatest fan of this theory to say the least (’cause psychological trauma >> hidden twin as an explanation if I had to sum up roughly), I have made peace within myself about the 2CT being the main explanation for Ciel’s character.

Anyway, I have made peace with the 2CT as long as the twin died 4 years ago and his body burnt so badly (like Vincent) that UT can’t even try to bring him back. If it turns out Sirius is the twin however… well, as of right now, I’m envisioning to put Kuro on hold for a little while, as sad as it sounds.

Just so you understand though, this possibility (of putting Kuro on hold) isn’t me being childish because a theory I don’t like became canon. I’ve been a theorizer about series I liked ever since I was 12 and I was obviously wrong a lot of times (I actually prefer being wrong anyway), so this isn’t about accuracy but about logic and consistency.

Yeah, I know, I love these words xD But anyway about Sirius being the twin…

I can’t say there aren’t hints in different chapters, although I don’t necessarily agree with all the hints other bloggers mentioned for this theory throughout the arc, but I have one big problem with it when it comes to such a development (Real!Ciel being BD!Sirius) making sense as a whole in the series.  

Of course I’ll explain why just after, but just so you know, that’s part of why I was so unsettled by ch125 last week. I used to… be sure of a few things in Kuro thanks to what we had seen until now, but after a chapter using plot convenience tricks + Violet’s plan being ridiculous and hinting at a larger explanation maybe not making a lot more sense, I am not sure of anything making sense anymore (and I don’t mean that just for the current arc). :/

From the moment an author seemingly stops being logical (although this could still be a storytelling trick of course, never say never), that means the wildest explanation could waltz in at any moment and that’s particularly unsettling for me, since I have fun theorizing by adding things together (which is why I like logic in the first place xD).

So anyway, now you know the reason why I actually was so pissed off about the new chapter: if Yana was 100% serious with what she hinted at through Violet’s plan, that means there are possible plot holes in sight (when she was able before to write arcs without those) and that means we can’t really rely on anything that was introduced in the story before. 

Back to “is Sirius Ciel’s twin being brought back as a perfected BD?” 

(more under read more)

here’s why I have a problem with this theory (knowing that again, I do think some hints are in favor of this theory + I’m now okay with the 2CT being introduced as the explanation to a lot of things, except when it comes to the current arc): 

it doesn’t really make sense with UT’s character

it doesn’t really make sense with Lizzie’s character either

it throws off the possibility for Ciel to get actual development

it basically means that Kuro is over because Seb has 100% already won and eaten Ciel’s soul

So, first thing first: let’s go back in time, 4 years ago, and decide that UT had the most surreal timing ever and that somehow he managed to find where the twins had been abducted just as our!Ciel and Seb were burning down the whole place -> UT retrieves the twin’s lifeless body on the altar before he burns. 

That’s the only way UT could have somehow experimented on the twin in order for him to become Lord Sirius because, considering his reaction in ch105, a completely burnt body apparently cannot be turned into a BD, which is the reason he was so sad when he basically admitted that he would never be able to bring back Vincent.

So, okay, UT had the most unbelievable timing when the twins were abducted for an entire month, but he somehow brought the twin back and experimented on him so that he would became a BD. Okay. 

But what about what it all means for the current arc?

Because if Sirius = the twin, then that means that Lizzie completely ditched our!Ciel (and her family) all for his twin’s sake two and half months ago, which basically depicts Lizzie as being the most shallow character of the entire cast (even more than Charles Grey 👍), when logic/good writing and characterization so far would have vouched for a different behavior [x].

But okay. I mean, Frances was literally depicted as an “I-give-no-fuck-about-my-children” mom in ch125 (or so it seems), so the principle “like mother like daughter” could definitely apply there.  

But then what about the implications of Lizzie’s behavior?  

‘Cause if Lizzie ditched Ciel, since she was one of the only characters whose influence could maybe lead to positive developments for Ciel’s character and since Ciel pushes far away everyone else anyway, well… Doesn’t that mean that Lizzie and UT taking care of his twin basically isolates Ciel from anyone who isn’t Sebastian?

Ah, but that’s okay! I mean, Ciel becoming more and more “evil” due to only having an emphasis on his relationship to Seb is a development in itself, even if it’s not the most logical one after 24+ volumes of Kuro in my opinion (since he canonly did good things before). But okay, why not.

……………But then what about everything we saw about UT’s characterization so far? 

Because you know, after 24+ volumes of Kuro, a few things were made clear about UT’s character, namely…

we know he started the BD project because he’s trying to bring back a few people in particular

he also has this chain that he calls his treasure, carrying the lockets of seven people, one of them representing Claudia Phantomhive + Ciel currently has it so it probably is plot relevant (right? right Sensei?)

however there is no locket for Vincent (or the twin by the way), even though UT was really close to him (and we don’t know about the twin), ‘cause his body burnt and he can’t be brought back ;_;

btw Claudia was introduced back during the Circus arc as probably having a lot of importance to UT :D + there is the strange lineage thing to explain (since it’s possible that UT has something to do with it)

which means UT has this big emotional link to the P family ever since Claudia’s generation at least, and his words of ch105 could imply that he wants to protect her successors (even if he failed once when he lost Vincent).

So… UT somehow saving the twin and bringing him back to life -> A+ okay, after all the twin is Claudia’s grandchild too and maybe they knew each other before Vincent’s death, so it’s definitely possible and I really don’t have a problem with that.

But UT making Lizzie ditch her cousin (our!Ciel) so she can take care of BD!Real!Ciel instead? It is basically equal to our!Ciel only having Sebastian by his sides and focusing on his revenge, with Sebastian who’s waiting to eat his meal (aka Ciel’s soul) once the revenge is taken care of.

So UT, man….. where are your priorities? I’m not kidding, where is the logic?! Why is he focusing on a dead kid who already lost his soul (especially since in the 2CT the twin is the sacrifice Ciel made in order to have Seb “cross the river”) when our!Ciel still has his soul but it’s endangered by his contract to a very real and serious demon?

Of course, maybe UT just favors the twin instead of Ciel because:

it seems everyone does anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

also UT showed before that he cares in his own way about our!Ciel but it’s not like Yana gave logical explanations recently so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

btw, just saying but I don’t get why Tanaka is still working at the Phantomhive estate? Lizzie should have written to him so that he should have moved into the Sphere music hall with her, UT and the twin. 

…And I think you get the point. 

I know I’m being a bit savage with my irony right now, but I feel that it’s important I completely explain why I don’t like this plot twist at all at least once (especially since Anon asked). 

Really, I don’t have any problem with people liking this theory, but still, it doesn’t satisfy me because it doesn’t add up with a lot things that were introduced before in the story + it throws off the characterizations of both UT and Lizzie, making them shallow when… they totally weren’t before the current arc.  …Which is why I’ve been bitching about Kuro recently. xD

So again: 

UT bringing back the twin is okay if he managed to retrieve the body before it burnt; characterization-wise it makes sense because the twin is of Claudia’s family

however it’s involving Lizzie and making her choose the dead twin that’s throwing off the entire subplot on the aspects of characterization (2000% shallow) and logic (what about our!Ciel’s contract to a demon?)

but again since the last chapter gave us kinda wonky explanations, I’m kinda fearing that it will be the truth behind the arc anyway, with Yana not caring that it doesn’t seem to make sense on the points I mentioned 

TL;DR Anon, there are hints that can direct us towards Sirius = the twin, definitely, but I just… can’t see this as a clever plot twist, even if I gave up months ago and accepted the 2CT happening at some point. 

Just for explanatory’s sake though, here’s why Sirius = Claudia (the other likely possibility for me) pleases me more:

UT currently focusing on bringing Claudia back and involving Lizzie isn’t equal to Ciel being left alone with his soul contracted to a demon with no one caring.

Because Lizzie staying in the Sphere music hall isn’t equal to her ditching Ciel for Claudia, but to her learning about something big threatening our!Ciel (since the scene of ch113 would be about our!Ciel in that case) which means that she’s staying there to maybe find a way to save him, so it’s all for his sake.

it also adds up, considering that Claudia was first introduced during the Circus arc but was more emphasized on with every arc ever since the Campania (Campania -> Ciel gets the locket, Weston -> grandma confirmed, Green witch -> the family tree and the strange lineage)

and it promises big developments about the main plot, like Mr. K said would happen (since there is a high chance that Vincent is not the only one who ended up killed) + it’s a good way to possibly delve more into UT’s character and what he’s really after, especially with Othello being involved.

Finally about this scene…

Please excuse me since I might be biased, but in the theory that Sirius = Twin, what about UT looking so at peace here…? Was he in love with Real!Ciel or something? I just don’t like the Kelvin-like vibes I get from this scene if I imagine that the hand he is holding belongs to a ten year old dead kid (and I say that as someone who calls UT an obsessed stalker when it comes to the P family, but that doesn’t mean he’s on Kelvin’s level when it comes to being a pedo :/). 

TL;DR of the whole post: if I had to sum up roughly, Lizzie’s reasons for being involved (thanks to UT if he’s really the mastermind) and her reasons for staying/going back are kinda what decide if the subplot will make sense with the rest of the series.

In one case, by choosing to remain completely dedicated to the twin with no care to what she lived through with our!Ciel for the last 4 years, she appears as shallow and I don’t like it at all. In the other case, she’s doing it all for our!Ciel’s sake and I personally think it makes more sense with what we’ve seen of her character so far. 

Again though, that’s for me. As I said, if people are enjoying the possibility of Sirius being the twin or the explanations we got so far, then I’m very happy for them, but I personally haven’t been following Kuro for the last 6 years to end up with a big explanation that doesn’t make sense by my standards (and contrarily to what you could think, it’s not hard to please me. As long as there is logic, I’ll accept everything haha :)). 

Sorry for the super long answer Anon but I hope maybe it managed to convey my thoughts correctly (sorry that I don’t have much to say in case Sirius is a new character though xD). 

Have a nice weekend! ^_^

[cemo-roid]

They Say We Always Have One Idiot In Our Life...

“..................................”

I looked out through the window on the passenger seat as I silently heaved a sigh

Thanks to the black car provided by the Trainer Association, I was currently being driven home through the highway. The place was totally devoid of any vehicles, which was understandable after what had happened recently

Given the current speed, I would reach my own house in less than an hour, maybe even half an hour

“...I hope you’ll pick the choice you prefer”

As my mind inadvertently recalled the last thing the old man Gladius said, I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist... but barely held back from striking the driver seat which was in front of me

Just as I relaxed my hand for the nth time, my phone in my pocket began to ring

“......”

...surprisingly, it was a group call from my gaming group chat. And although the call only reached me just now, it already had over 25 people joining the chat

I was surprised at the suddenness, but I immediately understood why when I looked at the time

...that’s right, today is the 7th-s Celebration event... the Mimig Boss should be appearing by now

I was about to pick up the call... but after remembering that I still hadn’t downloaded the game, I heaved a deep sigh before rejecting the call

...though, even if I did download the game, I doubted I would be focused on playing the game

“......if only I wasn’t a Trainer... I wonder if I will be enjoying the game like they are”

Right after I said that, my phone rang again for the second time. My body inadvertently tensed up, thinking that Nua might have eavesdropped on me once again... and heaved a sigh when I saw who was calling me

I pressed the call button and lowered the volume before bringing the phone to my ears

“Oy, BD! Where’ve you been!? You haven’t logged into the game for almost a day now!!”

“Yeah, yeah, how you’ve been, Karma?” I threw my body on the seat as I heaved a sigh. “I’m not doing that well at the moment, my phone is basically ground to dust yesterday”

“Ahhh, I see... I guess you also can’t play like the others”

“...like the others?”

I thought the group chat was filled with people because they were doing a Raid game... but it seemed like I was mistaken

“You obviously didn’t watch the news, did you?” And as if he just read my mind, Karma let out a sigh after saying that. “According to ‘Idol News’, a lot of Phenoms popped up all over the world and caused a lot of destructions, especially to the residential areas. Everyone is obviously not in a pretty condition thanks to that”

“...your source of news is extremely disconcerting”

“Mnnhh! You uncultured swine! Having your favorite Idol standing on the screen, giving you the recent news... don’t you think that is not much different from newlyweds!?”

"If that’s your concept of being newlyweds, then news reporters all over the world are basically prostitutes!!”

My outburst made Karma furious and began to shower me with lots of insults... but as it was very Karma-like, I merely turned a deaf ear to everything he said

When he finally stopped his outburst and began to breathe heavily, a weak smile formed on my face

“Back to the topic, are the others okay?”

“...nn... I don’t know about our Guild Leaders DanU and xXxXx, but seeing how the others are still noisy in the chat group, they must be okay. Though, they said they can no longer play the game due to their consoles are now gone”

“Hoo... and what about you?”

"Well... you can say that I’m on the REALLY fortunate side. Uhehehehe...”

“...............”

“Say something, you fool! Why are you ignoring me as if that was the best thing to do?”

“You just gave the answer yourself”

The groan coming from the other side made me chuckle as my smile grew wider

“Fine, I’ll ask. Why are you feeling fortunate?”

“Heh, just say that you just want to know, no need to put on-”

“I’m hanging up”

“Wait wait waitwait! It’s been a while since I talked with someone, so don’t just end it prematurely!!!”

...just say that in the first place, you idiot...

I heaved a sigh as I leaned back on my chair

“...anyway, you might not believe it, but a Roze actually saved my life TWICE! I didn’t see who the first one was aside from that she could fly, but I was able to see who saved me for the second time! You might not believe me, but it’s Vivian! The Idol Roze Vivian saved my life!!”

“...uh huh...”

“What, you don’t believe me!?”

“So you’re saying that an Idol suddenly came to protect your house. I get it, and I’m not saying you’re-”

“Ah, I’m hanging up. The Golden Mimig is here, and I’m so going to use today’s rest time to farm the Godly Gold Blade! UooooOOOO-”

The phone call ended abruptly as soon as the sound of phone dropping could be heard. Knowing that it was his usual and weird phone’s setting, I threw my phone on the adjacent seat and heaved a sigh

Although the conversation was a trainwreck from start to finish, I was relieved to talk with someone who I had played with for years

With my slightly-better mood, I was thinking of closing my eyes for a moment and sleep until I returned to my own house...

“......sir, we’ve arrived”

...but when the driver told me that, I realized the car had already reached in front of my house’s front door. I didn’t even notice that the car had stopped, which meant I had been too engrossed with talking with Karma just now

After I went out of the door and bid farewell to the driver, he drove away slowly in the direction of the main road

......I guess I should download the games on my phone now. Gonna ask Karma to share some of his wonderful loots...

I stretched my body a bit as I entered through my house gate and was about to enter my own house, until I was stopped by a loud honk coming from the car behind me. Feeling a bit irritated, I walked back out and wanted to give the idiotic driver a piece of my mind

...but when I saw the person... the people coming out of the identical black car, my body immediately tensed up

“Good. You’re here.” Nua said that with a relieved sigh. “Help me carry Mio out of the car. I’m not strong to lift a teenage girl on my own”

[midnight-in-town]

About Claudia I don't understand this one thing. If she was killed and Vincent too isn't it super heartless too bring her back now? Idk it feels completely selfish and I don't see why Undertaker would even make her suffer just for his own sake if he loved her???

Hey Anon :)

Well that’s the thing though! UT is 100% very desperate + sad + lonely + hurting in his feels so him wanting to bring back people he cherished (not just Claudia mind you, but also the other lockets) is 1000% a completely selfish decision (as far as we know as always, of course).

Like, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore UT, he’s endlessly fascinating and I fell in love at first sight but the more we discover about him, the more I feel that this guy is probably almost on Kelvin’s level of being a stalker, except that he isn’t sexually interested in kids (or in becoming beautiful since he’s canonly the most beautiful character lmao). 

I’m probably pushing it with the analogy but that’s on purpose, just to say that the more Yana-sensei allows us to see his true personality, the sadder and scarier it gets. 

I remember myself, one and a half year ago, thinking “yeh maybe UT is a psychopath” since, you know, the guy was laughing all.the.time and that was the only thing we ever saw about him and then…

Chapter 105 happened. And then 3 months later…

That was another arrow in the kokoro. 

And then, when I thought I could hardly be surprised anymore (’cause he’s my dude and I sometimes spend half my days wondering about what he could be thinking about), ch120 happened…

…Which means that we went from a creepy mortician to a homicidal maniac Shinigami to a Very Desperate and Sad Guy Who Actually Killed Himself Years Ago to him holding someone’s hand with the most peaceful expression he ever had in 24+ volumes of Kuroshitsuji.

That screams character complexity and development but also big issues in my book Anon, which is why, let’s say he’s actually trying to bring back Claudia, it’s 100% completely selfish on his part (because he loves her and misses her, because he’s lonely, because he’s scared, because he’s getting mad….), but at this point I think he couldn’t care less and might even admit it, should someone (like Ciel) yells at him that he’s been inconsiderate and mad for a while now. 

Not that I blame him for being completely desperate: we know he killed himself even if we don’t know why + we know he deserted, probably because being a Shinigami and being forced to watch countless cinematic records only made him even more miserable, so let’s say that he actually learnt to live through meeting these people whom he cherished, then losing them to death (or worse, murder) might have been unbearable to him.

Also I don’t know if you noticed but Claudia’s locket is the most recent on his chain: out of the those 7 people, she’s the one who died last, so maybe losing her (or losing Vincent) was the trigger to the BD project and him becoming completely desperate about protecting what’s left of the family of the woman he probably loved, on top of trying to bring her (and the others) back, no matter what the cost was (even if that means indirectly killing a thousand of passengers or bleeding to death London in its integrality, assuming he’s the villain behind the current arc).

At this point, it’s obvious there is not just one factor that led UT to behaving the way he is right now, it’s an ensemble of sad things that he lived through and I really have a lot of feels for him, but yeah, if somehow he is bringing back Claudia and that he succeeds… Well, just poor Claudia, poor UT too (even if he’d be the guilty party behind his own misery) and poor Frances (because Claudia is her mom too). Also, that might just be wishful thinking on my part, but I think this whole tragedy of UT succeeding in bringing Claudia back even if just for a short time might be what Yana alluded at through Vincent’s words…

And all in all, it only gets sadder when you think about the choices that UT made so far because inherently yes, even if it’s completely selfish, “it was for love” (cool motive still murder.gif) but it reached such a scale that it probably won’t make Claudia happy and things just won’t get back to what they used to be (and honestly once he’ll be forced to realize that, I think that’s when UT might break down). 

……Ahem, I’m so sorry for rambling -_- You just asked about one of my fav subjects so now that I have some time, I’m just… writing a post about UT’s character from my own perspective.

Well in any case, I hope that managed to more or less answer your question. Thanks for passing by Anon! :)