#if people enjoy this format I'd be happy to share more

[draw-ren-draw]

Avantris Fan comic Scripts #1

Often when I get ideas for comics, I break my panels into scripts first. For one reason or another, some of these projects never get finished. These scripts are less prose-y than fics but still contain dialogue and basic interactions.

Seeing as I've been under the weather, I thought you might like to see some in this stage anyway. I hope they inspire or entertain! Enjoy~

The Reason Why [My indulgent thoughts over why Kremy continues to remain distant from Torbek (aside from comedy and the Warlock's genuine fear over the other's Witchlight abilities) flavored with a smattering of Coalecroux.] * * * *

Establishing shot- Carnival Lecroux are walking through a forest clearing. The crew has had a long day of traveling and are eager to set up camp. It seems as though their latest victory is due to Torbek. Frost and Gricko are congratulating the bugbear for a job well done. He looks at each in turn, in surprise. Gricko: "Good job Torbek! You really nailed it today!" Frost: "Yes, with this, we might finally get to the next town ahead of schedule. You really gave it your all." Sensing the Alligator Warlock coming up behind him, Torbek whips around, unable to help but anticipate more praise. Kremy doesn't even look at him. Kremy: "Good night Torbek." The lizardfolk wanders off, leaving Torbek to sag with disappointment and a sad groan. Gideon enters the frame, looking inquisitive. He follows to where Kremy went and finds the other already sitting by a campfire, on a log, fishing out something to smoke. The warlock doesn't bat an eye when Gideon strides up to join him, both comfortably doing as they have done for years now; an expected and normal routine. As the genasi settles next to him, he turns to Kremy, curiosity more than judgement furrowing his brow. Gideon: "Hey, how come you're so hard on Torbek?" Kremy continues to look ahead, puffing a smoke "I don't know whatcha mean, Gid. I've treated him like I always treat him." Gideon: "Yeah, exactly, even after all we been through?" He can't help but crack a small laugh at that. Gideon: "I mean, yeah, he's Torbek. But ain't telling people what they like to hear something yer good at? That's kinda your thing!" He pulls out his own cigar to take a puff, still jovial and relaxed. Gideon: "You know even one nice thing would have him ready to die for ya! It's like you can't even look at em!" Kremy breaks, finally looking at Gideon, flustered by the subject (and possibly how handsome Gideon looks in the previous panel) Kremy: "That's precisely why I can't, Gid!! Do you know what I see every time I do? Do you know what I SAW when I looked him over? Every time he gives me that big stupid hopeful smile?!.. My mistakes."

"…" Gideon pauses. Who is this and what have they done with Kremy? He breaks the tension with another laugh. Gideon: "What are you talking about, man? I thought we all agreed, we were only like, a little at fault and he's already forgave us for that!" Kremy, turning serious: "I ain't talking about just the witchlight."

Gid goes quiet.

Kremy: "Do you ever stop to think about why Torbek was picked? Out of everyone in the whole carnival?" Gideon: "Well yeah, we all said, the thing with the herris whee--" Kremy: "It's because they thought nobody would miss him. No one would notice if they took him away." A look of disgust fills Kremy's face. Kremy: "He was poor, he was stupid--" Gideon: "--Smelly?" Kremy: "Smelly. He was living in a dumpster!" The Warlock angrily tosses his cigarette, we follow the action as it hits the ground and bounces at the bottom of the panel. Kremy: "Cause I wasn't payin him! He was my employee Gid, and if he was just a little more put together, maybe so much might not have happened to him! How am I supposed to look him in the eye after that?!"

We hold on Kremy for a beat. Gideon offers his cigar from out of frame and Kremy takes a drag hesitantly.

Kremy: "Thing is--" He puffs out the smoke "I keep thinking about how much time gets thrown around here. And I ask myself… if I went back to those times, if I'd still keep his checks and end up handing him over all over again. And I think I would. I'm at war with myself for that." Gideon stares at Kremy, expression carefully guarded but concerned. For a bit of meta humor we hear the DM represented as a text box above him. Nikki: "Gideon not being good at words but knowing Kremy enough to understand his conflict and that it takes a lot of guts to admit that to yourself and know yourself that well puts his arm around the alligator." Gideon: "Well. That's a lot of maybes for ya Kremy. I didn't think you even thought about those. But you can start by making it up to him now. Then, maybe one day? Those maybes might be different."

We view the pair from the back now. With the genasi's arm slung around alligator's shoulder we finally see a flash of a smile from the other con artist.

Kremy: "Reckon you may be right gid. Reckon you may be right." (But he still isn't paying him any time soon)

[skimmingmilk]

Can I pry ur mind for any headcannons u have between the unbreakable bond? Maybe even ones u've yet to include in ur fics?

Ooh, I'd be happy to! I'm just so bad at listing out headcanons without fics to sandwich them in xD I know I have a ton that I haven't had a chance to write about yet, but it's like they're sorted in filing cabinets that only open when a relevant fic needs them, lol.

But let's see…

Tails doesn't actually have a curfew. Sonic will give him a look if he catches him up in the middle of the night, but he's well-aware the kid's a bit of insomniac. As long as it isn't hurting him or putting him in danger by being too sleep-deprived, then Sonic doesn't force him to bed. It’s not like he can’t sleep in or anything anyway. If he's already dozing off at his desk, then Sonic'll put him to bed, sure, but that's just to make him more comfortable. If he's alert and in the middle of a project, Sonic leaves him to it. He'll even keep him company sometimes, because no way does Sonic have a curfew either! If he gets sleepy later in the day, he figures he can always just take a nap.

They like to go skydiving together, taking turns flying and jumping off the Tornado. When Tails installs an autopilot on her, they're able to jump at the same time and do tricks in the air to one-up each other or practice mid-air saves with style~

Their tastes in video games vary: Sonic prefers classic side scrollers, racing games, and fighting games. Tails likes exploratory puzzle games with open worlds where he can explore and craft and he’s also really good at first-person shooters. They do both enjoy playing with each other still, regardless of the format, that's just what they tend to prefer when solo-gaming. Sonic will absolutely play something like Minecraft or Lethal Company with Tails (and die a lot xD) and Tails loves getting to beat Sonic's button mashing technique in a fighting game. I also think they both like to team up for anomaly hunting games, I feel like that's something they'd both find fun for a couple rounds while they wind down after an adventure. Sonic's quick reflexes would help him catch anomalies as they're happening and Tails likes analyzing the scenes for subtle differences. They can only go a couple rounds though before it puts Sonic to sleep, lol.

They’ve both picked up on some of their species-specific behaviors unintentionally. Like Tails sometimes curls into a hedgehog ball with his fur fluffed out to feel safe and he’ll make huffy, snuffly hedgehog sounds from time to time. Sonic's tail will wag a little when he's happy, since hedgehogs typically only wag their tails when they sense danger. I know it's a cute headcanon many people have for him expressing happiness in general, and I love to see it, but this is just my headcanon for why he’ll do that sometimes, and it’s pretty unique to him as far as hedgehogs go and completely involuntary.

When Sonic's around, he cooks pretty much all their meals, though Tails will sometimes want to experiment with a new recipe or cook something for Sonic. He likes cooking for other people. When Tails is left to his own devices while Sonic's traveling, however, his eating habits suffer. He loses track of time and ends up subsiding solely on snacks throughout the day instead, like his veggie chips or roasted chickpeas or mint candy. If he does make something, it's always fast and simple like a bowl of cereal or a peanut butter sandwich. Sometimes Big will stop by with some fish stew to share with him and Sonic usually makes sure to bring a hefty bag of takeout back with him, just in case it's been a while since Tails's last substantial meal.

In return, Tails is the one who keeps pretty much every other aspect of his and Sonic's lives on track xD He keeps a calendar for him and reminds him of things like friends' birthdays or events he promised to go to. Any paperwork involving Sonic is taken care of by Tails. Upkeep on the workshops and the planes are also Tails's responsibility. He also does all the shopping and inventory of household supplies in the workshop. Tails is very good at scheduling most things into his day, eating is just not one of them.

Tails has a few pieces of Sonic merchandise he picked up when he was younger - when it wasn't as embarrassing to say his big brother was his hero. They're kept in his room, mostly out of sight, but he's got a Sonic plushie that he keeps wrapped in one of Sonic's gloves so it'll smell a little like him and he'll sleep with it whenever he's feeling particularly lonely. It's part of why he gets into the habit of working late into the night; it's hard to lie awake in bed in a quiet, dark house by himself. With only his thoughts and nothing to drown them out. He's not afraid of the dark or being alone, but it's the stillness and the emptiness (the void) that encourages him to stay up until he physically can't keep his eyes open any more. Sometimes having the Sonic plush helps with that (not that anyone knows).

Those are just some of the headcanons I have that I don't think have played very major roles in any fics yet. I've got a few WIPs that incorporate a couple of them, but I'm not sure if they'll ever get to become full-fledged fics.

Thanks for the ask! <3

[writingonleaves]

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead? (did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?) - jeremy swayman

pairing: jeremy swayman x original female character

warnings: swearing, pretty angsty. hopeful ish ending because i can't do sad endings, very personal but i think many can relate in their own way, cliche ish, barely proofread

inspired by + title: "the smallest man who ever lived" by taylor swift

word count: 5.6k

author's note: i'd argue almost every piece any author writes is personal, because it has their life interspersed through the words. but this one really is, because a majority of this is the exact same words i wrote years ago after a break-up. heard the bridge to this song and immediately knew i had to write something inspired by it. also trying a new format of sorts (maybe a bit meta??), so i hope you enjoy and lmk what you think!!

~*~*~

When Noelle Betsko walked away from Jeremy Swayman, holding back tears until the call dropped, she knew it was going to be a tough time for the foreseeable future. 

It didn’t matter that the pandemic had forced them apart. She knew she would still feel him for months to come.

She did the only thing she knows how to do when trying to deal with things. The one thing she always resorts to as an aspiring novelist. Sometimes on her laptop when the words were spilling out too quickly for her brain to catch up, tears littering the keyboard. Usually in her old beat-up journal, scribbling in the cursive that Jeremy claimed he always loved (“It makes your handwriting unique”) with the pens he had gifted her just a few months prior. 

At the age of 21, Noelle got her heart broken for the first time. At the age of 26, she’s about to publish her first poetry collection of sorts, all of the poems modeled after journal entries written throughout her life. So not really poetry, though her mother would say otherwise. 

She swallows as she thumbs through the middle part of the first known and binded copy of “miscellaneous.” There are only eight entries in the whole collection that are taken verbatim from her past writing. These are the eight.

May 13, 2020 (three days post-breakup, crying in my childhood bedroom)

I don’t even recognize who I was and who you were in those writings before these pages filled with love and hope and happiness. I can’t even summon up those feelings anymore that I knew existed at one point. Those feelings of complete bliss and love for someone so deep you can’t explain it. 

I’m mad at myself for not being able to conjure those feelings, because at one point, I did love you. How could something that was part of my daily life for over two years just disappear so quickly? 

But now, I’m not mad at myself. I’m mad, but I don’t know where to direct that anger to. I feel a bit empty sometimes, but then frustrated the next. Sometimes I get sad, but not so much compared to the other feelings. I spent enough time being sad during our relationship.

When we broke up, on an annoyingly beautiful Tuesday in May — over the damn phone, mind you, which whatever, it’s COVID. Fine — You told me you felt like you had been putting more effort into us. 

At the time, I didn’t react, but I’ve been thinking about how angry that statement made me. Makes me, actually. I was always very open with how much I gave to that relationship. How much it meant to me. How much it affected me. But I understand that with some people, sharing everything too much equates to things not meaning anything anymore. But you out of all people should’ve known that I mean everything I say.

I felt like I gave so much. I know I gave so much. When I told you I loved you, I always meant it. Every single time. When I told you I missed you, I always meant it. I wished you were right next to me at that moment. I mentally gave so much, because to me, I wanted to. You were always on my mind, always high up on my list of priorities. I never took us for granted.

I’ve been questioning if that was the same for you. Did you start becoming complacent?

The second thing you said that day that hasn’t left my head is that you knew me pretty well. And initially, I remember not thinking much of it. So I don’t doubt that; you always knew right when I was about to cry, even over the phone. You often knew when I was mad or upset, but when I look back now, you never pushed. Which is a good thing, to an extent. But it was a bad thing sometimes too. I knew you often wanted to give me space, but sometimes I didn’t want space. I wanted you to push. To try to understand. Maybe that’s unfair of me; it probably is. I should just say I want to talk about it more, right? 

But if you genuinely knew me, you would’ve known.

After two years, seven months and 12 days,  I still feel like I didn’t know you. Did I ever know you at all?

When people talked shit about you, I always defended you. And I still would defend you now. But lately, I've questioned what I’m even defending. All those good qualities that I thought you had, were they even real? Of course, I know some of them were, to a certain extent. But as I look back on us, there’s a lot of doubt about whether I even knew the person I called my boyfriend for so long. I know there was a point where you cared about me, but I can’t remember when. 

I often felt like I was letting you know so much about my life, but you didn’t do the same. I get that sometimes a person just wants to forget about the bad and focus on the good with a person you like for awhile. I get that. But once that was happening every damn time? That should’ve been a red flag. 

June 7, 2020 (twenty eight days post break-up, outside my childhood room on the deck) 

I don’t understand how you can give so much to something or someone and have it not be recognized or appreciated or enough. If I wasn’t enough for you, how will I be enough for anyone?

I hope one day you’ll truly understand how much this hurt. Not just the breakup, but feeling like I was always being pulled in a direction I didn’t always want to be pulled in. Feeling I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and never ever being able to win. I hate that I settled so much in the last year. Because I should’ve demanded more, even though deep down I knew you were never going to be able to give it to me.

I think back to our past daily texts, and I just don’t get it. At one point, we both meant the things we said to each other. 

Yet we still hurt each other. 

This fucking hurts.

You’ve hurt me so much, but most of it wasn’t intentional, which I think is somewhat even worse. Because I’m not totally mad at you for causing the pain. You never did anything outright to cause me pain, but I still feel like you did. 

Unintentional pain almost stings more than intentional. 

When I asked you out that night after we were both on an emotional high, I took a chance. For once in my life, I took the leap, knowing that I could get humiliated or hurt or just straight up shot down. 

Where did it all go wrong? Or, more realistically, how did we think that we could go through the wrong when it was there at the start?

I’m trying not to blame myself too much. Trying not to tell myself that I should’ve known better. 

All those times, especially at the start, when I would ask you if you genuinely liked me, you always thought I was just trying to be annoying. But you never understood that I genuinely thought that way. My self confidence from the start was lacking, and you didn’t try to understand that, because I come across to everyone as confident and self-assured. 

It hurt, when you would brush things off like that. I felt like you didn’t care.

And then, it got to the point where I stopped asking that question. Part of that is because I did become more confident and you did show that you cared, and part of that was because I knew it would piss you off.

The amount of things I was scared to talk about with you because I knew it would piss you off? I don’t wish that feeling on anybody.

I shouldn’t have been scared. I shouldn’t have been uncomfortable. But I was. And if you did notice like sometimes you claimed to, why didn’t you make it more comfortable for me? Was that too much to ask for? 

So larger than life that at the end, you faded into just the smallest man who ever lived. Fuck you.

Was it too much to ask for when I just wanted to know why you were upset? You didn’t have to ever tell me the full story (lord knows there were times I didn’t), but was it too much to ask for something? You told me once that I’m the person you’ve told the most to. How? You barely told me anything. And when I wanted to talk to you, whether it was about growing up in Alaska or why you were in a bad mood last night, you always brushed it off. Always. 

So I don’t feel so bad about feeling like I gave more effort. I gave so much of myself to you. If you really cared about me like you claimed you did, why couldn’t you show even just 1% of that care back? Or just meet me in the middle?

I could’ve tried harder to meet you in the middle, I’ll admit that. But you didn’t even give me a map or a clue how to. 

I felt so fucking left in the dark. I felt left in the dark about my own fucking relationship, something that I should be completely sure about. If you really love someone and care about them, how can you leave them in the dark? How could you not even see that I was struggling to find a flashlight?

You did care about me. I know that. To some extent and at some point in time, you did care about me. But caring about someone and their well-being isn’t always enough.

Why couldn’t you have worked with me? When I was extending my hand out, why didn’t you reach for it? How can someone just be so blind? I mean, I’m practically always spelling it out for you. 

Maybe I am being selfish. But fuck, I just wanted to be happy. At some point, you made me happy. When did I start making you feel like I wasn’t enough? Why wasn’t I enough for you?

It’s useless, in a way, to keep going about this. Because I know I deserve better. And we’ll both find people who are better for us. We just couldn’t be that person to each other.

I fucking loved you.

I wish it ended differently.

July 8, 2020 (fifty nine days post-breakup, in front of the lake)

I really really fucking miss you. 

I do. 

I miss being able to text you that i love you and not necessarily expecting a response until the next morning. I miss knowing that as soon as you wake up, you’ll text me back and assure me that yeah, you love me too. 

I’m left feeling bittersweet as I look back on memories that are just splashes and not definite strokes on the canvas that used to be us.

I miss having you as a friend. 

I’ve been having more urges lately to want to text you. And it isn’t even anything important. Just moments I experience throughout the day.

Do you get the urge to do the same?

July 19, 2020 (seventy days post-breakup, still in the same damn house)

It’s hard. It really is. And it kinda just hits you at random parts of the day. Sometimes I wake up from a dream that you were in and have to remind myself that it didn’t happen. 

Sometimes it physically aches when I realize that you won’t ever help me put on my jacket again, or complain that my hair is in your face when we’re lying on the couch watching Brooklyn Nine Nine, or groan when I drag you up to dance with me (which you never improved on, no matter how many times I tried to teach you basic rhythm). I can’t view our song the same way anymore, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to. 

The other day, I read some simple thing on Twitter. I don’t even remember what it was, but I do remember that for a split second, I could see your smile in my mind. But it wasn’t just any smile. It was the smile you gave me when you took me ice skating that first time. I remember asking you what you were smiling at, and you said that you just were taking in this moment. I don’t know if you took a mental picture that day, but I know I did. That day seems so long ago now. 

In almost anything I do, you somehow pop into my mind or into the conversation. And it’s not even in a harmful way either. It’s because you were part of my life for so long. I see a dog on the street, and it reminds me of how you always stopped to pet every single one we’s see I write something in my messy handwriting, and I remember how you always used to complain that you couldn’t read the notes I’d occasionally leave around your place when you went away. I went to the doctor’s the other day, and they said I was 5 feet and 3 inches, which is just definitely not true, and I almost reached for my phone to text you, because you would’ve cackled and insisted that no, I’m 5 feet 2 inches and it wouldn’t even matter because I’ll always be shorter than you. It’s simple and minute things that make me miss you that much more.

I still can’t listen to some songs the same way anymore, but I can at least listen to them now, which is a feat in itself. I was unpacking from college and found the teddy bear you sent me the first extended time we had to be apart and had to immediately put that out of my sight. From those boxes also came photos that I had decorated my dorm room with, and to be honest, I’m glad now that I let you keep our best one. I deal with all my emotions, besides writing, by making Spotify playlists, and I made a new one earlier this week. I think it’s helping. It’s a slow process, this whole moving on thing, but it’s one that I’m trying to be grateful for, because like most things in life, you just don’t truly know until you go through it.

Sometimes, I find myself wondering how you are and how you’re healing. But, even though we’ve both changed since the day we met, if there’s one thing I know, it’s that you’re incredibly strong and stubborn. I hope that you’re finding some growth in this process too. 

October 17, 2020 (one hundred fifty seven days post-break up, apartment in orono)

It’s been almost 5 months, and you still cross my mind everyday. 

Why wasn’t I enough for you? Why didn’t you fucking tell me what you were thinking? Why was I the one who had to approach you just because I was just so done with the silent treatment?

But I’m not mad at you. Not anymore. The mad phase passed ages ago. 

Closure is a fake word. Even a breakup as mutual and smooth as ours was still left me with so many questions that will probably never be answered. 

Any breakup fucks you up to some extent. I knew it was going to mess me up even back when we were together. But not like this. Never like this. 

But like anything in life, I guess you can never really prepare for what you think you might feel, because most of the time, you discover a whole new side of you that you never thought existed. 

I don’t miss you. I don’t. I don’t feel that love in any way anymore. 

But I did once.

You did too, right?

November 15, 2020 (one hundred eighty six days post break-up, fogler library)

I hate Halloween. 

Though, it did bring me to you three years ago. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you right then and there. 

Three years later, you texted me on Halloween, five months after our breakup. The universe really, really wanted to fuck with me. 

It was a tough night for you. I knew that. Because I know how you are after losing a game you should’ve won. But that didn’t mean that I owed you anything and had to respond. 

We agreed on no contact if we ever wanted to stay friends. Clearly, friends is out of the picture now, but come on. A vulnerable text after a bad night because you know I would feel bad for you?

Fuck, you know how much I would hate that. You had to have known. 

Just because we’re not dating anymore doesn’t mean that everything about you just disappears. I still know your tendencies. I still know exactly how my head burrows into your chest during a hug. I still know the actions I used to do that would be followed by you attacking me with a hug. I still could point you out in a crowd. 

I looked for you in every crowd for years. 

That stuff doesn’t just go away, no matter how much I want it to. But fuck. Fuck. Why did you text me? 

I don’t regret how I handled it. I probably would’ve responded months ago. But just like you, I’ve grown these last couple of months. 

It was comforting, for a split second, to know that maybe, just maybe, these past couple of months have been hard for you too. It makes me feel human. It makes me feel like I’m not crazy.

I’m glad you texted me. You gave me another level of closure I hadn’t known that I needed until then. 

But fuck, dude. You know me better than that. You should know me better than that. 

I hate Halloween.

November 26, 2020 (one hundred ninety seven days, at the coffee shop i brought you to when you came home with me two years ago)

I don’t regret loving you, but I hate you for what you did to me. 

Or maybe not. 

I hate knowing that even though we haven’t been in a relationship in a bit, it feels like sometimes, you’re on my mind the exact same amount when we were dating. I hate knowing that I gave so much of myself and my love to you, and it always felt unrecognized. 

Fuck, will it ever stop hurting? Will I ever be able to have to stop myself from thinking about you? Will it ever stop?

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

Happy birthday. I hope you enjoy it.

June 12, 2021 (three hundred ninety five days post-break up, in boston, visiting a friend)

Tonight, when a friend asked me about you and how I felt about how we ended, I was able to articulate my thoughts clearly. I’m really proud of myself for getting to a point where I can take the lessons I learned the few months after we broke up and acknowledge them in a succinct way without breaking down into tears. Just watery eyes and the occasional voice crack 

I’m also proud that I can say that when we were dating, I lost a bit of myself. For months, it was really hard to admit out loud.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Sometimes, I wish I could call or text you about it, because I think you’d be proud too. And I know I’d be proud of you. I am, to be honest. I do break resolve once in awhile and check on you through various avenues.

I still haven’t seen you in person since the last time COVID made us say goodbye. Maybe I never will again. But day by day, I’m starting to accept that and be okay with it. I’m accepting that memories that used to be so painted in my mind are blurry or almost completely erased now. But that’s okay. Honestly, it’s probably for the best. 

I wonder, when you think about it, if you think about different moments that I do. That’s the thing when something ends. You have to be okay with letting go of those moments and realizing that just because you forget them, doesn’t mean they weren’t important. 

I don’t think I miss you. I hesitate in saying that. Because I’ve moved on and handled the aftermath of it better than I think both of us ever thought I could. When you hung up the phone for the last time, I proved to myself again that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. I think we all are. But we don’t realize it until we’re thrown into a situation that we think we’ll never be able to overcome. 

But we do. Whether it’s because we’re forced to because there’s no other option, it doesn’t matter. Because we get through. We move on. 

I hope you're moving on. 

And then it goes into other topics, graduating during a pandemic specifically and losing what’s supposed to be your last year of no responsibilities before adulthood. There are other poems in here that reference a past relationship, but not as much as these eight. 

If there’s one thing that Noelle did change, it was taking out the details. Jeremy may have hurt her, but he doesn’t deserve someone possibly making a connection between these poems and their shared background. She’s not a famous author by any means, but she wanted to be careful.

Not that she makes that part of her life publicly known. People don’t need to know that her brother was Jeremy’s captain for two years at Maine and that’s how they met. 

Noelle grew up going to rinks. She hasn’t gone to one since they broke up. 

But also, what the fuck? It’s been five years since she’s dated the guy. She really is over it by now, even if his rise to stardom in the Bruins flittering on her social media feeds still sometimes has her swallowing a bit before she can continue with her day. 

Brooklyn is far enough from Boston. But sometimes it feels like it’s right outside her door. 

She’s proud of her first published work. She really is. People believed in her and after numerous notes swapped back and forth with her editor, she did it. She always knew she wanted to work in publishing. She never knew she herself would publish anything.

And here she is now, two weeks after the book release, in Boston, about to do a q&a and a signing. Apparently, “miscellaneous” has been on top of numerous lists and it’s flying off the shelves. Noelle can’t really believe it and tries not to think about it too much, trusting her agent with all of that. 

She’s happy to talk about her work and process though. That she can handle. And she’s grateful for all the love.

After a signing at a local bookstore, she decides to walk the 20 minutes home in the Boston fall. It’s a bit brisk, but she doesn’t mind and she just wanders, belly filled with delicious sushi she inhaled for dinner with an old friend.

Of course it happens the one time during her walk when she doesn’t avoid eye contact with someone. The song playing in her earbuds fade out of her focus and she almost stumbles. 

Jeremy’s eyes were always Noelle’s favorite thing about him. She thought she would’ve forgotten what they looked like by now. But clearly she hasn’t. 

Her eyes quickly cast to the person next to him. It’s definitely a girl. They’re a bit too far away for Noelle to pick out details. But it’s enough. He’s walking on the side closest to the street. It’s a Friday Night in a bustling part of the city. 

It hurts. She wishes it didn’t.

Even from far away, she sees his eyes blink in recognition. Noelle puts her head back down and walks faster. 

(She cries in the shower when she gets back to the hotel. She had debated feeling super sorry for herself and going to the hotel bar but refrained)

She has a few free days in Boston before flying back to New York. When she wakes up the next morning, she debates on going home early. But no, she won’t let a three second glance at someone ruin her time here. She used to occasionally come here during her college days. She loves this city. 

The city may be Jeremy’s, but she can make space for herself here too. 

She takes her time at a cafe, people watching and eating some breakfast. As she takes her coffee to-go, she looks out the window at the bookstore she was in the night before for the signing. She almost drops her coffee. 

Jeremy walks into the book store. 

Now, Noelle is debating her options. What she should do is continue with her day and walk in the opposite direction. But she’s always been too nosy for her own good. And maybe a bit self destructive. She decides to leave the cafe and cross the street immediately, so impatient to where she’s almost tapping her foot as the pedestrian signal stays red. 

As a writer, she’s no stranger to movie moments. The scenes written in books or movies where the timing is too accurate to be real. The situation too good to be true. But after a car speeds through an orange and she can finally walk, she stops in her tracks instead, feet glued down to the sidewalk.

Because Jeremy is right in front of her on the other side of the street. Her book in his hand. And he’s looking right at her. 

The first feeling she can recognize in herself is anger. Anger at the way their relationship panned out. Anger at the way they ended. Anger at the radio silence the years following. Anger at him for everything. Angry at herself for everything. 

The second feeling is, weirdly, shame, which she’s embarrassed by. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. But she feels it anyways. 

The third, and perhaps the most prominent, is emptiness. Five fucking years later, and she’s brought back to the emptiness she felt immediately after they broke up. The emptiness that the person you loved isn’t yours anymore — who maybe wasn’t ever yours to begin with. 

Before she can run, he’s already crossed the street to her. He looks naturally different as someone who you haven’t seen in five years would. But he also heartbreakingly looks the same. 

“We should get out of people’s way,” Noelle manages to chokes out. 

Jeremy laughs a bit. Her heart lurches. “Yeah.” He starts walking and she follows him wordlessly. This is his city after all. 

He leads them to a bench under a tree with beautiful fall foliage. She puts at least a foot between them as they both sit down, staring out at the people passing. She can’t take the silence. 

“I see you bought my book.”

“I did,” he replies evenly. “Congratulations. I always knew you would do it.”

She squeezes her eyes shut. Maybe if she squeezes hard enough she’ll forget when she originally pitched Jeremy the bare bones idea of the exact same book that’s currently in his hand. “Thank you. Congratulations to you too. On everything.”

“You’ve been watching?”

She shakes her head. “No. But, you know Seth and…yeah. It comes up during family calls sometimes.”

“Why didn’t you say hi last night?”

She looks pointedly at a couple walking their dog. “You seemed busy.”

“She wasn’t-that-it doesn’t mean anything.”

“Oh. Because that makes me feel so much better,” she spits out, before taking a deep breath. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. We broke up ages ago.”

“I’m sorry,” she gives him a look and is slightly proud of how he seems to shrink into himself a bit. “I-I know it’s five years too late. I know I didn’t handle it as well as I should’ve. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

The thing is, Noelle always thought that maybe hearing an apology someday would make her feel better. But now that’s heard it, she’s not sure she does. 

She swallows. “I appreciate that.”

“I’ve already read it, you know.”

“Read what?”

Jeremy runs a hand through his hair. “Your book. One of my teammate’s girlfriend recommended it and I asked to borrow it. It’s fantastic,” He looks down at the book in his hand. It’s like the cover is taunting her. “I wanted my own copy.”

“Oh.” 

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me off the hook with the poems I know were about me,” he scoffs, shaking his head at himself. “You could’ve written way worse.”

She can’t help but let out a chuckle. “I thought I was pretty mean.”

“Your definition of ‘pretty mean’ is tame compared to a lot of people,” he says, mindlessly flipping through the pages of the book. “You were always the kindest person, even when you shouldn’t have been..” 

He puts his hand out in her direction, the hand with the book in it. She furrows her eyebrows. “What-”

“Could I get a signed copy?”

“Jeremy. What do you want from me?”

He sighs, taking his hand back. “A chance to apologize?”

“You’ve already done that.”

“Not in the way I want to and what you deserve.”

She lets out a sigh, turning to face him fully. “I don’t know if that would be worth my time or yours. I know the book just came out, but that was five years ago. I’m over it. Forgive and forget, right?”

“But do you?” Jeremy counters back. “Clearly, you don’t forget, which I deserve. But forgive?” 

“We’re just going in circles now.”

“No we’re not,” he says firmly. “You’re just shutting me down because you don’t want to talk about it. I’ve had five years to prepare what I would say to you if I saw you again. You’re telling me you haven’t?”

“Of course I have,” Noelle tips her head back. “But also, what’s the point?”

“The point, is that I still love you.”

“Fuck you,” she says in a strained voice. “You can’t just-you can’t just throw that shit out there. Fuck you.”

He bites his lip, and to her annoyance, he laughs. But she listens more carefully, and it sounds very self deprecating. “I deserved that.”

“Yeah,” Noelle looks down at her feet. “So…what? You still love me?”

“I do.”

“And what are you going to do about that?”

“What are you going to let me do?”

“I live in Brooklyn.”

“I know,” she whips her head up. Jeremy looks sheepish, which she didn’t even think was something he knew how to do. “Seth mentioned it when we caught up a bit ago. I also still follow you on Instagram.”

She tries again. “It’s been five years.”

“And I’m here sitting with you and still feel the exact same way I did back then. Even more, to be honest.” He eyes her pointedly. “Any more excuses?”

Her voice softens. “You really hurt me.”

“I know. And I’m so sorry, Noelle.”

“I hurt you too.”

He shrugs. “We were young and stupid.”

“And we’re still not?” Noelle says with a snort before swallowing. “I’m not the same person you fell in love with.”

“I’m sure I’m not either. But I don’t know if there’s a world where I don’t love every version of you.”

“Even after reading the book?”

“Especially after reading the book,” he sighs. “Noelle, I know this is unfair of me. All of this. And I’m sorry it’s taken me this long to reach out. But I always intended to. And then you’re here? And I see you twice in two days? I’d be an idiot to not try. More of an idiot than I am, anyways.”

“Try for what?”

“A second chance? To be friends? Whatever you want.” He suddenly deflates. “Even if you don’t want anything to do with me. At least I’ll know.”

“Why did you never text me?”

“I thought about it a lot,” he admits. “I tried once, actually, after the high of a really good win. But it didn’t go through. I got the message.”

“The message?”

“You blocked me, right?”

Oh. “Yeah,” she lies. “I did.” She reaches into her bag for a pen and gestures for the book, which he gives to her, a curious gleam in his eyes. “I’m in Boston for two more days, including today.”

He takes the hint immediately. Eagerly. “I have a game tonight, but I’m free tomorrow.”

“Who are you guys playing?”

“Toronto. And I’m starting. Should be a good one.”

She hums non-committedly, scribbling on the inside of the front cover. She hands it back to him with a small, close-lipped smile. She nods at him to read the message.

to my first fan, 

i still love you too. 

xxx-xxx-xxxx

yours, 

noelle

He looks up, eyes shining but a bit confused. 

“I never blocked you. I just changed my number.”

“Oh.”

“And even if I still love you, I’m still mad at you.”

“I know. I’d be more surprised if you weren’t.”

She stands up, adjusting the bag on her shoulder and putting her sunglasses on. “Text me?”

His mouth splits wide into a grin. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

She backs away with one last attempt at a smile before turning down the street.

[cuppajj]

Beast Ancients AU Askbox Thoughts

Hey! This is just to clear up my thought process revolving around BAAU related asks. Please consider reading everything so you know for later!

When is the askbox open?: Whenever I feel like it, mostly. I usually leave it open, but I close it when I'm not in the mood to receive any.

CJJ's BAAU askbox notes:

I answer whatever ask I feel like! I do not operate on a schedule, and I do not guarantee everyone's ask will be answered, especially with factors like the amount I get, motivation to answer, and other things like if the question has been asked and answered before. Please do not feel entitled to hearing from me!

You are less likely to have your question answered if it has already been answered. This means if I said an answer in a previous ask or if a lore post answered it, I'm less likely to respond. There are some instances where I'll have new information to answer a previously asked question, which is why I'm only saying I'm less likely to answer, not ignore repeated questions outright

You might notice that I'm vague with some responses. This is usually because I want to leave things up to speculation! I don't want to share all of BAAU's story and lore from beginning to end immediately, especially when not everything is planned. So with this in mind, I won't (yet) answer endgame questions, or what happens in certain climactic scenes, etc. That is not to know so early on in baau's development! I like sharing things in a sorta linear format. If I get past the introductory part of the AU then I'd be more open to sharing the deeper heavier moments in detail.

Questions that have very subjective/speculative answers (such as the neobeasts reacting to mundane situations, questions that speculate what happens to a certain character not yet talked about, general headcanon posts that aren't super story focused) are also less likely to be answered, or at least answered vaguely. This is because I want to, again, leave room for people's own theories. I like fostering an environment of discussion!

Please do not expect me to take drawing requests! I know I have drawn for some, but it is not a guarantee nor should it be seen as a likely thing.

"Is it ok if my OC is in the au? ... can we write fanfiction?" etc - yes, it's why the tags exist!

I might answer some questions, but I'm no actual answering machine. I'm just an artist who has motivation highs and lows and answers whatever question jumps out at me in the moment. If I were to make answering everything an obligation, I would burn out real fast - and that's not fun for anyone here!

While it might look like I'm trying to bar people from asking certain things in my inbox, I don't intend for that to be the case. I don't want to undervalue the interest a lot of you have in my au. It means a lot that you have all of these questions and thoughts, and I'm very happy you enjoy what I have so far! This post is mostly just me explaining my thought process when I receive asks. For BAAU, I approach things in a mostly question-answer basis with emphasis on story clarification, and some sillies here and there! If you want to take anything from this, it's that I'd highly recommend scouring the #beast ancients au ask and general #beast ancients au tags (and the masterpost). You might find the answer to the question you were looking for, or at least find something that makes you think!

(I'll add more to this if I think of any)

Hope you understand and thanks!

[tadpolesonalgae]

So, I saw @acoazlove do this, and I thought it would be fun way of recapping this year of fanfiction! Also maybe a fun thing to come back to at the beginning of 2026!

These are the questions in an easily copy-able format if anyone else wants to join in!

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024? 2. How many fics did you complete this year? 3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year? 4. What was your favourite thing you wrote? 5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style? 6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or reception? 7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved and went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!) 8. Who is an artist that inspired you? 9. Who is an author that inspired you? 10. Who is a new author you discovered? 11. Did you start any collaborations? How did you start it? 12. What accomplishments are you proudest of? 13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year? 14. What is your advice? 15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

Absolutely zero. I don't know how it works but I will eventually learn. Just not today.

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

Around 80 I think! But that's including all those cbmthy chapters and additional parts to series, none of which are technically completed :')

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

If we're only counting the ones from this year, then I'm pretty sure it's only The Other Woman! (Maybe The Painter and The Prostitute, The Wrong Side of History, and The High Lord's Whore? Idk if those are going to be ongoing things or not though!) I think all my other ongoing fics were started either in '22 or '23! So not that bad!

4. What was your favourite thing you wrote?

This is such a difficult question </3 The Other Woman was a big piece for me in terms of the emotion that fuelled it, but I also loved cbmthy chapter 24, and Stalking Through The Underbrush! (But also Degraded for Nesta, and Shared Camomile for Elain)

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

I think maybe Blood-borne for Az, or To Old Gods for Tamlin? Blood-borne is a fic where I was really trying for atmosphere, and trying to build a scene to set up the story, and it was a similar case with To Old Gods with kind of writing fanfiction in a way I haven't tried before? I generally imagine Prythian to be a lovely place because of all the wonder magic can bring about, but Blood-borne was a little on the sinister side, and To Old Gods felt more Celtic/medieval than the kind of magic I generally think of being most prevalent throughout Prythian?

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or reception?

I think the Dark!Feysand, Tag, You're It series startled me since it's getting some plot? When it began as almost entirely smut. Also chapter 16 of cbmthy - I thought it was the worst chapter I'd written when I posted it but then some people were so kind about it and it's now one of my favourite chapters of the whole series! And as usual The Other Woman - that fic was definitely a step out of my comfort zone so hearing some people want more of her (the reader, her life, and her revenge), and being able to relate to some aspects of her anger, and hatred, was very personal and soothing to me.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved and went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

I find this a hard question to answer because I'm not sure how to gauge it? I'm always happy that anyone is reading my writing and enjoying it, so in that sense there isn't a single piece I've written that I felt 'went under the radar'. That being said, if there was a fic I'd be particularly giddy if someone took interest in, it would probably be Messy Breakups and Messier Bedsheets for Cassian's day of acotar-omegaverse-week! Since there's only one part out currently there's not much to go on, but I'm planning for it to be a very fun and messy series, with some light-hearted angst that's more appropriate for a TV drama or something! :)

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

A music artist would probably be Sofia Isella? I've been listening to her since before 2024 so I'm not sure if she counts but she's definitely put some ideas in my head for fic writing! Also Enya. And electronic music.

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

For fanfiction and general writing style: @azrielhours , @whisperingmidnights , and @throneofsapphics

Rags has a way of writing like she's sticking her hand right into my chest and soothing my heart. The way she captures softness and intimacy always blows me away and if I'm ever in a bit of a foul mood, or feeling generally disappointed in the world, her writing will always cheer me up without fail. It's genuinely so impressive just how intense her stories make me feel (pleasantly), and how perfectly she articulates special feelings relating to tenderness (Take Care; Lessons on Relief), and love of one's home. (Captured; Domestic) August has an incredibly vivid way of writing. I adore how she writes Rhysand in Heart of Velaris, and also how she writes Feysand, both in her Sunday Morning series and in Something Wicked <3 She also has some relatively niche interests (like her Helion x reader x Azriel fics - Sunlight & Shadow) but she writes them SO PASSIONATELY. Seriously, something just being kind of niche doesn't stop August from enjoying it which is lovely to see, both in her enjoyment of Gwynlain, and the pieces she's written for Gwyn and Rhys <3 Irene has written so much it's astonishing (I was so excited and overwhelmed when I first saw how much I'd get to read from her). I have such lovely memories of reading through Have Your Little Girlfriend, and Old Faces, over the summer when having breakfast, and I'm fairly confident I've devoured ever single smutty piece of hers that I can get my hands on (Pretty Girl? Passed out. Against The Contract? Jaw-dropping). I also usually despise angst but Irene does it too well. I can't resist. And it's also so cathartic in getting to read her angsty pieces then expressing sorrow either in the comments, or through an ask. <3

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@secret-third-thing

STT I only found earlier this year (2024) but her writing style is so impressive. I'm frequently left feeling deeply anguished after reading her writing - she has a way of expression/articulation that has you understanding the environment she's writing in. She uses words I either don't know or have never heard of (yay, vocabulary expansion!), and creates settings and sceneries that are so incredibly immersive straight from the get go in a way I haven't read before. I'm sometimes left feeling a little disgruntled because her work feels so much further developed than my own writing style, but I think she's studied a lot more, read more, and worked to become a better writer. I find I admire how serious and meticulous she is about continuing to improve.

11. Did you start any collaborations? How did you start it?

Umm, I didn't initiate it, but @readychilledwine has been astonishing with organising the @thehouseofvanserra collaboration. She's the one who offered up dates for when to have fics ready by, checking with the writers involved whether the times would suit us, and has also been so understanding with writers who were unsure of whether they'll be able to overcome a block by then. She organised the majority of the collab, put the blog together, came up with cool designs (tested different fonts, different backgrounds, offered ideas on how to make the collaboration as fun for the writers and as many readers as possible, and has taken on the role of managing the blog), and has made the whole process run so smoothly - so I wanted to say a thank you for all the work she's put in so far for the sake of the collaboration <3

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

They're not really my accomplishments since I didn’t do the reaching out (The Scary Part), but I feel like I’ve made some more friends within the fandom, which is very nice.

@sarawritestories has been so kind and welcoming. She’s always so sweet and such a great listener, and seems to genuinely care about people and want the best for them! Not to mention I love Come Here, Sweetheart! 🧡💛 @ninthcircleofprythian is someone I look up to in how steadfast she is. I really admire her humour, even if I’m initially startled for a few moments 🤨 I think she’s strong willed and an amazing writer 🧡💛 (Stuck In The Middle With You? So sweet; so quintessentially Ninth) @pit-and-the-pen I love your music taste and your Az fics, and how encouraging you are whenever new ideas for fics are mentioned 🧡💛. (Please go to sleep. was so heartwarming—it’s such a comfort!) @daycourtofficial you’re always there to hype people up and you have such a charming sense of humour, not to mention I love all the bug facts! (And getting to talk about knitting. I love getting to talk about knitting) (And Falling In Love On The Fourth Floor - I love that fic!) 🧡💛 @readychilledwine I love your fluffy pieces, I love your smutty pieces, and you're such a kind, caring person to be around and talk to - there's nothing not to love! (Size kink with Az frequently sends me to heaven - amazing) 🧡💛 @dawneternal not only can you draw beautifully, but you’re also a wonderfully compelling writer! I love your characterisation of LoA/Edana in The Benevolent, and you’re such a joy to talk to 🧡💛 @nocasdatsgay you’re so sweet and so supportive 🧡💛 (I also started reading Neapolitan Bonds after you mentioned it maybe a week or so ago and it has sunk its CLAWS into my brain.) (cannot wait to read more you don’t understand!!) (thank you for writing it) @lady-of-tearshed you're the sweetest ball of fire I've ever met. I can always count on you to have some witty retort queued and at the ready <3 Also the beginning lines in Temporary made me so emotional. Stop. I'm not usually an Azris girlie but my horizons are being begrudgingly expanded 🧡💛 @tsunami-of-tears I LOVE YOUR DIVIDERS (obviously). The Seasonal and Solar Court ones in particular are so handy for specific acotar themes, and the halloween dividers you did were so cute (the pink ones specifically made me squeal) 🧡💛

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Sometimes I just don’t feel like writing. I don’t yet know what causes it because honestly there could be so many reasons, and so many variables that I’m not - at this stage - interested in trying to figure out what they are.

14. What is your advice?

Just try and be happy with what you have. You can aim for more, you can be overwhelmed with how much you’ve achieved, but I think if you’re unhappy with where you are (in the context of sharing fanfiction specifically 😅) then it’s more difficult to enjoy the process. But I think that might be something you just have to learn through experience and not something that one can really have told to them.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

I want to tie up a few loose ends. I’ve accumulated quite a few short series for a few characters, and I would like to experience the satisfaction of finishing one off 🫠

[diamonddaze01]

⋆｡°✩ n o t e : thank you to everyone who tagged me in this ( @sungbeam , @petrichor-han , @haologram)! took me forever to finally get around to it, but excited to share my wrapped for this year!

⋆｡°✩ on poetry and homecomings - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first ever fic! based on a quote by the fantastic palestinian poet mahmoud darwish. something about the words, "If I ever see a flaw of yours, I'd say my eyes are the flawed ones" made something in my heart twinge in the most beautiful way. a purely self indulgent fic i wrote after an exhausting work week, and suddenly, here we are, 3 months later.

⋆｡°✩ plan b-day - hong jisoo

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my last fic of 2024! a lil drabble for the loveliest boy. no real notes on this, other than i am sure that murphy's law somehow targets me 50000x more than the average human being. again, purely self-indulgent, but also a wonderful way to close out the year.

⋆｡°✩ baby, darling, light of my entire life - choi seungcheol

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : the idea for this came to me after a crazy night out. though i myself have not gotten to this level of drunk yet, i definitely would scream about how pretty choi seungcheol is any day, any time. i was actually shocked when this blew up - it wasn't my favorite piece i'd written at the time, and i woke up one morning and it had skyrocketed from maybe 100 notes to upwards of 600 in one night. weirdly, i think this was maybe the third thing i had ever posted to this blog and it made me so happy that people actually enjoyed my writing. bdlomel, ily <3

⋆｡°✩ full throttle part i | full throttle part ii - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : oh, full throttle, what to say about you (i am combining both parts into one fic - the only reason there are two parts is bc tumblr is a bitch about formatting). there are few things that exhausted me, exhilerated me, enraged me, and made me feel as proud as i do looking at this finished fic. three weeks of non-stop writing every day after work, jotting down notes in the cleanroom and during lunch breaks, and storyboarding when i should have been sleeping culminated in most possibly the pièce de résistance of my year. i had so many people who cheered me on as i wrote this fic, battled through witty banter (that i myself could never say irl) and fiery headlines, but none cheered as loudly as @haologram and @ylangelegy. alta and kae were genuinely the wind beneath my wings as i wrote this, and reading their comments in the doc was what kept me going. in the end, i'm genuinely so happy with how full throttle turned out, and seeing the reactions i'm getting from it make me feel so fulfilled.

⋆｡°✩ the somerset affair - lee seokmin

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first forray into longer fic writing (and i'm still battling my way through it, but we don't talk about that). if anyone knows me, they know how much of a Bridgerton fan i am - i quote anthony's speech on the daily, and penelope/eloise are some of my fav romcom heroines ever written (until they both get married, but again, we don't talk about that). i felt like writing this fic was my way to pay homage to this fictional world i adore so much. i have a love/hate relationship with the actual tone of the series - its so hard to maintain the regency tone and also write in a way that's true to my own voice, but at the end of the day it's a challenge i relish. i'm so excited to finish this series this coming year!

⋆｡°✩ 40 fics posted - check them all out in my masterlist!

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : to be fair, a lot of these are drabbles i did for my 101 drabble prompt game, but fuck it we ball. maybe i'm just insane.

⋆｡°✩ ~133,470 words written

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : again, i think i might be a bit insane. did a sacrifice sleep to write? yes. did i storyboard at work? also yes. but then again, it's been an interesting year to say the least, and writing was a really good way to blow off steam after a stressful day at work.

⋆｡°✩ some of my fav fics i read this year - please read the warnings on each fic and do not interact with smut if you're a minor! this is in no particular order:

⋆｡°✩ unforgiven [boo seungkwan] - @haologram ⋆｡°✩ catch you when i can [smau] [chwe hansol] - @xinganhao ⋆｡°✩ the first snow [hong jisoo] - @junkissed ⋆｡°✩ what are the vibes? [choi seungcheol] - @daechwitatamic ⋆｡°✩ red card [kim mingyu] - @highvern ⋆｡°✩ an ode to hands and voice [boo seungkwan] - @ddeonghwa-s ⋆｡°✩ take my word for it [yoon jeonghan] - @ylangelegy ⋆｡°✩ prey [choi seungcheol] - @pochaccoups ⋆｡°✩ sit down [kim mingyu] - @gyuswhore ⋆｡°✩ ave, general [lee jihoon] - @amourcheol

these are just a few of my fav fics i've read, but if you want to see all my recommendations - i suggest checking out @diamond-reads !

⋆｡°✩ goals for 2025

⋆｡°✩ on diamonddaze01: i have a lot of collabs coming up in 2025! i hope that i can meet all those deadlines and write things i'm proud of. i've also learned that writing longer fics like full throttle or somerset affair make me feel more fulfilled as a writer, so expect a lot more of them as i further explore my writing style and characterization. i also want to go back to some of my older wips that i abandoned and reopen them, see where i can go with a fresh mindset. ⋆｡°✩ personal goals: i have a lot, but to name a few: read more, laugh more, love more. i also want to focus on establishing a better work/life balance - i know already that the coming months are going to suck at work, but i no longer want to drag the weight of corporate life home with me. work is work, and that's where it will stay. i want to prioritize my mental and physical well-being over all else, and that starts with reprioritizing things like work, my social life, and writing.

⋆｡°✩ final thoughts

⋆｡°✩ i started writing on tumblr because i was stressed from work and felt like i didn't have a community, especially at a new job and a new city. what started as some stress relief turned into a community of its own. i'm eternally grateful that i was able to meet some wonderful people this year that i truly feel a sense of belonging with. to everyone in the networks i'm in, to anyone that reads my work, to all the lovely people i've met: thank you, and i love you.

⋆｡°✩ if you've made it this far, thanks for reading, and thank you for all your support. i love you all endlessly. it's time to sign off for 2024.

with love as vast as the stars themselves, tara <3

⋆｡°✩ tagging (but no pressure): @tusswrites, @chanranghaeys, @bitchlessdino, @ddeonghwa-s , @c-oupsie, @lovetaroandtaemin, and anyone else who would like to do this!

[ohprcr]

Hello! I've followed your art journey throughout the years on several social medias (though I tend to made and then deactivated accounts as often as breathing due to my impulsiveness haha). I want to start learning art seriously, inspired by you. And tbh I usually got motivation to keep going by putting my progress on the internet, even when no one is looking nor gives me validation, it just feels like I did something rather than keeping the progress to myself. Like, I need a visual tracker.

So I'd love to know your opinion on the pro and cons of the social medias you use to share your art? Especially instagram, twitter, and tumblr (Since I plan on making one each). What kind of culture and rules I must abide, what notice I should take. Which platform is the most comfortable for you? And do you always post the same artworks on all your platforms or you have your own classification on what kind of artwork you'll put on instagram, which one is for twitter, etc? Thanks in advance!

Hi!

First of all thanks for asking me! It's so nice to hear that you're planning to share your art ^^ This is probably gonna a bit long and mostly based on my personal experience, but I hope this helps!

The first socmed I use to mostly (and solely) post art was Instagram. My interactions there are mostly reconnecting with art mutuals from the deviantART days and some RL friends/family. I used to post regularly on Instagram but with how the algorithm works now that they're under Meta, I rarely participate in trends or post reels, and I mostly just post finished art and some speedpaint videos. But if you want you can def use the reels feature to create process video, etc. I like the carousel/stringed together image format and it can be utilized to post a lot of images in one post (up to 20 for now). I also use instagram as some kind of portfolio, with how it present a clean grid. I have RL friends and family following me there so I mostly just post general art, nothing too suggestive.

As for Tumblr, I've had it for quite a long time and it can be traced back to the ol'fandom days haha. I don't participate much in fandoms anymore, but I think it's always a good thing to post either original or fanart with proper tags on Tumblr. The comprehensive tagging method lets you scrounge and filter posts under the tag, so my older posts usually still circulate on other people's blogs even years after it was posted (which I'm grateful that they still enjoy my old stuff!). I mostly post finished art on Tumblr, sometimes multiple images in one post but it's a bit limited compared to Instagram. i don't post videos on here. I also use Tumblr as an archive bc it's much easier to track back my old posts.

The most recent socmed I use is Twitter. Maybe it's already a known fact how the site is kinda falling off after it changed to X :" but I still use it mainly to communicate with friends. I post more liberally on Twitter, from finished art, videos, animation, sketches and personal stuffs as well. It's also where my promotional posts get the most reach in terms of visibility (this includes commissions, merch catalogues, etc) and most clients I've had in the past found me there. I think the community is also more active on Twitter, but sometimes it can also lead to discourses/fighting that I don't rly wanna take part in :" I've seen people moving to Bluesky as well, though I personally haven't used it yet.

All in all I think I mostly crosspost my works across all of my socmed, with a few exceptions on each socmed. I hope this helps and happy posting!!

[valleymyristica]

Well I saw your post about the Fop series. Honestly most of the stories I read about Dale are related to Perry and personally I don't like Perry when he's older he was cute when he was a kid in the original series but that's not the point I want something related to Dave and Dale only not from Dale's side but from Dave where he suddenly has enough courage to show his love for his father but it has nothing to do with magic I don't want any magic in the subject well here's what Dev decides to be affectionate suddenly with his father and hugs him suddenly and quickly walks away Dale won't care much about what Dev does so Dev starts to get Dale used to these sudden hugs where he hugs him almost every day and this starts to annoy Dale a lot but he gets used to it and when Dev doesn't give his usual hug he misses Dev's presence because Dale doesn't know how to love or give affection Dev teaches him himself because Dale doesn't hate Dev basically he only sees him as a little child and no one can make Dale give Dev his only child love and affection that he has never known or even experienced because Dale's life is just work not that he doesn't care about Dev but he doesn't know very well what his only son wants basically and he doesn't have time or this is what he thinks is right to sit with His son and he just talks to him without doing anything because physical touch and physical affection change a person and break down his walls and turn him eighty degrees and also I hate or get annoyed when most fans involve Perry in the relationship of Dale and Dev. Dev can change his father if he tries himself only there is no need for Perry in all this

My English is not very good. I apologize if there are spelling mistakes.

The important thing is that I want something new, realistic topics, far from the excessive and broad imagination in the relationship between the son and the father.

I do find something so unnervingly wrong with the thought that it is somehow Dev's responsibility to fix Dale.

He's a kid, he should be allowed to be a kid, should he not?

Parents can make mistakes, that is true, and there may be many things that they have to work through. Still, despite it all, it should never fall on the kid, it's not their responsibility.

Dev is just a kid, he deserves to be happy and just be himself. He deserves to have friends who like being with him because he is who he is. He should be the one he wants to be, not someone that fits into someone else's fantasy.

The universe is cruel, people don't always get what they deserve. Some don't get happiness, love and care. Some don't get anything to share.

While others get an abundance of it all.

But, regardless of the case, it shouldn't be the kid who takes the fall.

I've had this one for a moment, and I'm not fully sure on what I should tell. I can inform that you don't have to worry about your spelling, it was very good. Though you did write "Peri"'s name as "Perry" and "Dev"'s as "Dave" at times.

What you should be more concerned with is your formatting. I put an example of how you can do in the first dividers image description. Do hope that helps. Mostly, just make sure to divide things up in paragraphs and remember to use periods. It helps. Trust me.

Additionally,

I'm not sure which post you were specifically talking about, I'm thinking maybe [this] one? Unsure.

Might also be good to inform that the answers I give are in regard to my story "What it takes", the first chapter doesn't really have any Peri. It's mostly just a Dale and Dev interacting, realistically.

Unnervingly so.

So, in that regard, maybe you'll like the first chapter?

Honestly, I'd be really curious to hear what you may think of it. Who knows, maybe you'll even enjoy the Peri parts, cause, he sure ain't doing well.

Wouldn't you want to see the one you despise, suffer?

[ You can read "What it takes" [ Here ] ]

Now, to actually tackle what you wrote,

From what I can understand you are looking for a story with only Dev and Dale, where Dale gets attached to the hugs that Dev gives him. Then gets withdrawal when Dev stops, so to keep getting hugs, Dale starts acting like a proper parent.

I get the feeling you are looking for something happy, sweet and kind.

But trust me, those are not the ideas that come to mind. There is destruction, despair and an unnerving amount of fear. Let me make it clear.

If you want it to be realistic, you will soon find how broken the broken can be. You'll soon find horrors you rather never want to see. And you'll soon find how pretty it can be, to live in a fantasy.

Terror in truth and beauty in lies

My own life might be a wonder, the dark may not scare me, I may find comfort in what would fill others with fear. Still, do understand, there is many reasons people may appreciate the moon more than the sun

The moon is there when they need it, the sun is not

The sun seeks glee and joy, the moon accepts it all

Also, If you find that you seek something you can't find. Make it. It might not be as perfect as you'd want it to be, still, it's there. You have an idea, go for it

Who knows, you might find people of similar mind, and then I'm sure you'll have a jolly good time

Plus, I don't think you want me to write the idea you hold in mind. Most simply as I would do as the universe does.

The idea in my mind says that Dev asked what could help him online, and someone joked about putting something in his food. So, being the kid he is with a bit more freedom compared to "our Dev", he buys what he needs though the O-pairs

Then a sandwich each day, making Dale tired and happy, and a simple hug to complete it all. If he's lucky, he might get a hug in return

The days goes by, Dev keeps at it and Dale starts getting more and more addicted to the "hugs"

Then Dev stops, thinking that his dad is "cured"

He is not.

And soon?

Dale gets withdraws.

Dev made a mistake, a horrible one.

Either he keeps at it, living in a crumbling dream made out of lies. Or, he faces the consequences of his actions.

[stxrrynxghts]

When Dawn Arrives

TW: Violence, mentions of s*x, blood, cursing.

I'm going to die.

Well, yes, I've known that since the past five hours. Or was it seven? I've been dying a slow death since the moment I entered this damned formation.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Dying was NOT on my plans, dammit. Wasn't I supposed to live a long life? Go on a trip to somewhere other than Kampilya? Wasn't I...supposed to be happy?

I want to find the person who said that death is peaceful. This is the most excruciating thing I've ever experienced. And my head fucking hurts so much. That cursed cousin of mine, whatever his name is, did smash my head with his mace, eh?

Yeah, I'm dying. I can feel the blood come out of my body. I didn't even know I had this much blood in my body, honestly. Breathing hurts. It hurts a lot.

I think I want to cry. But the thing is, no matter how much I cry, no one will come to save me. They didn't come. I felt they would, why didn't they? No one came behind me once I had entered this formation...why?

Oh God. I don't want to die. I don't. Why can't someone, I don't know, Father, or Uncle come to save me? Everything is black...

I'll live for a few moments, I think. Just a few. Then I'll be a goner. The Late Prince Abhimanyu, hah.

I'm sorry. I'm leaving so many people behind. What will Mother say? What will Father say? And who will drag Shrutakarma to socialize now?

Not me, that's sure.

I'm sorry, Uttaraa, I couldn't be a good husband to you.

You know, the first time I met you, I didn't like you? Yes, you were pretty, you have always been and will always be, but you acted like such a brat, you know?

You threw a tantrum when you felt that Father wasn't paying attention to you and your friends, because I had arrived. I hated that. I felt possessive, because I was the son, while you all were just...students. What could be so special about you?

I was wrong.

There are so many special things about you. Yes, you burst into tears at random things, you share things you aren't supposed to, you are too dense-

But you are mine.

You are beautiful, the most beautiful person in the world. In my entire world.

Many people have cared for me, but the way you fuss over every small scratch I get has touched me the most.

Your happy smiles and giggles, the soft noises of wonder you made every time something caught your eye...

The way you held my hand, with that shy smile on your face...

All of it made me fall for you, you know? It took me time to realize, but I did, eventually. And then I felt sad, because there was no way someone like you, with so much kindness, love and innocence could love someone like me.

Brash, impulsive, and wild.

But you did. You loved me with all your heart. And I feel as if I couldn't love you as much as you deserved. I couldn't soothe your pain when your brothers died, could I? No matter what I did, you kept on crying...

Perhaps I am selfish, because I can't wish someone better for you. That would kill me, you know? Everytime we went stargazing, or shopping in the market streets, or in the gardens, or on the beach...every moment is special for me, and will always be.

You made my short life brim with joy, but perhaps I've filled yours with heartache.

If you weren't my wife, your brothers wouldn't have died. If you weren't my wife, you wouldn't be widowed so soon. If you weren't my wife, you wouldn't have to raise a child on your own.

You are like my sun, Tara. The sun who I revolve around, the sun who made me shine.

But I don't regret it. How do I? How do I regret every moment we spent together, how do I regret all the times you embraced me, peppering my face with your soft lips?

Perhaps I have not cherished you enough. I should have done more, I should have made the one year we had to be more worth remembering...

But I know you. I know you cherish me as much as I cherish you, that you enjoyed every moment with me.

I loved spending time with you, you know? I'd try to come out of training early, just to sit and eat with you, listening to your chatters about some random thing, to run my fingers through your open hair, to touch and kiss every single part of you that I could.

I wish I could make love to you one last time, hold you in my arms one last time, tease you one last time, kiss you one last time, tell you how much I loved you. Just one last time.

I don't remember the last time I did that.

This war took much more from us than I thought it would.

But you've made me happy, you know? You've made me happy, and feel loved and cherished and important, and, and-

I wish I could hold our baby, you know? Feel it move, feel it kick, teach it how to talk, play with it...

But I love it, you know? I love it very much, and I hope it knows that in the future. I always wanted to be there for my children, Uttaraa, unlike how my father couldn't be there for me, unfortunately.

But my baby won't have a father's return to look forward to, right? No wait for thirteen years. Nothing.

You'll take care of my parents, won't you? You'll take care of our baby, won't you? I know you will.

My sweet, loving, innocent Uttaraa...

You were my sun, moon and stars, my entire universe...

I wanted our little constellation, you know? Our children, our babies. Fuck, I don't even know how my child will look like, oh God-

You are my greatest joy, Uttaraa, and my biggest regret.

I wish I hadn't ruined your memories of our sweet times with my death. I wish I was stronger for you, for my parents, for our baby...

I'm a damn fool, that's what I am. Not learning how to get out of this cursed formation, what the fuck was I thinking?!

Take care of yourselves, love, please. I know you will be sad, I know it will hurt, but...but don't hurt yourself, please...I want you to be happy.

I want you to live my share of life as well.

Fuck, fuck, I'm dying, aren't I? I'm-

When dawn arrives, you'll go to walk on the beach with me again, won't you? With sand beneath our toes, holding each other's hands, sea water splashing at our feet...won't you?

When dawn arrives...

I'll see you again.

[blackrabbittwst]

Hello! I'd like to request for Trey, Azul, and Jade with a self-indulgent reader please~ A reader who happily accepts gifts, eats whatever they want, and encourages others to treat themselves just as much! I'm one of these people, and I've never understood people who worry so much. Ex: Ask me if its okay to take something from me, even though I offered it to them. ??? 😂

P.s. I don't mind whatever format you use!

A/N: Hello! And of course! I’m somewhat similar to this as well so I think it’s so cute! I definitely encourage people to treat themselves (almost to much haha), and these three boys don’t give themselves enough self loving, so they need it!

Synopsis: A self indulgent S/O who happily accepts gifts, eats what they want, and encourages others to treat themselves.

Characters: Trey Clover, Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech

Pairings: Trey Clover, x Reader, Azul Ashengrotto x Reader, Jade Leech x Reader

Gender/Pronoun: Gender Neutral

Warning: N/A

Trey clover

He would love to see your bright smile as you accepted his baked goods! It gives him butterflies in his stomach as he sees you appreciate his hard work. Also, he definitely wants to see your expression when you take a bite. It's his biggest pride and joy to see your expression light up as you hum with approval for how delicious it is.

No matter what he made that day, you would accept it as if it was the best thing you'd received all day, which he always appreciated. He has never needed to use his UM on any food that he gives to you since you love everything he makes! However, whether you know it or not, he would be aware of the foods you dislike so that he can make sure to not use it as an ingredient.

He would be the type to not really give himself a break and he wouldn't understand why you insisted he buy himself a hat every so often or take a break when he had so much to do!

Don't forget that he did spend all his allowance when he was a child so that his little bro could go to a spell driver game. He’s so used to giving things to others but not receiving or treating things to himself.

He would appreciate the concern that you feel like he should treat himself more, but it would take a while for him to fully embrace the concept. It made him feel a little guilty when he could use his resources to make others happy. He's used to keeping the peace and always appeasing others. To be kind to himself is something that doesn't easily occur to him.

Once he is able to accept your gifts and be a little more self-indulgent, he’ll feel a larger sense of self-fulfillment and joy in life that he didn’t realize he needed. He’d be less stressed overall and realize he’s a little more productive while also being more motivated to do tasks he normally would not enjoy.

Azul Ashengrotto

While Azul tends to be a little greedy here and there, he never uses this money for his own material needs. He’s more likely to invest it in the lounge, a deal, a project, or for compensation for something shady lol.

While he likes good things here and there, most of the time he’d have his nose on the grindstone. The workaholic he is will be only focusing on the Monstro Lounge and the numbers for it rather than enjoying the fruits of his labors. So you’d need to convince him to actually use some of his money for himself once and a while. Everyone deserves to treat themselves!

While he loves spoiling you with gifts and buying you all the things you could wish for, you think it’s unfair that only you get to enjoy the results of his hard work. Of course, you’d accept his gifts with joy and happiness, but he deserves to share this happiness with himself too!

However one of the big reasons he loves buying you things is that he loves seeing the look on your face light up when he gives you something. Your eyes basically twinkle like the stars in the sky by how happy and grateful that he would think of you.

Even as you try to coax him to treat himself more, he actually feels guilty using his own money just for himself. He'd rather put it to good use like an investment or something for the lounge. Buying something so frivolous like a new board game, or a coin for his collection seems like a waste when he could use that money for something more productive.

You have to convince him that he doesn't have to spend his money all the time on himself, but he should reward himself for all his hard work with the money he earned. Life is too short to just save all your earnings and never enjoy the fruits of your labor.

He would try to convince you that his investing in the Lounge is treating himself, but you don’t take his loophole as an excuse.

It might be better to just treat him yourself if he gets too stubborn so he can get used to the sensation.

Jade Leech

Especially if you love plant life, happily accepting his gifts would just make his day week. The amount of effort and time he puts into his plants and foraging shows how passionate is is about his hobby, and sharing it with you only makes life so much better.

He loves that you’d appreciate his fascination with mushrooms and accepts his terrarium gifts. He spends hours making sure the terrarium is to your style and aesthetic with the specific flora he specifically foraged from the mountains.

The moment he sees his terrarium flourish in your room, you might notice a big bright smile on his face as he strolls over to it. He wants to make sure his work of art is health and happy just like you, after all.

He used to being mocked by Floyd and Azul for his fascination of mountains, so having some thoroughly enjoy his hobbies is a dream come true.

Out of the Trey and Azul, Jade is most likely to take your encouragement of treating himself. While he works at a brisk and efficient pace, he always seems to prioritize his likes and passion. Like when he has a day off, he always goes out of his way to forage for new things. It would make him super happy if you went along with him. Even if you aren’t fond of the outdoors, he’d be patient and slow down his pace. He’s just ecstatic he can enjoy two things he loves together!

Jade’s cooking skills are just like him, accurate and efficient (especially after seeing him in the culinary crucible). If you try his mushroom dishes and/or dishes he makes with the flora he foraged, it would put him over the moon. Floyd and Azul are tired of his shenanigans and mushrooms that he can’t serve them often at the Lounge, much to his chagrin.

If you don’t love eating mushrooms, it isn’t the end of the world. He might just sneak them in here and there as an experiment. He would make the dish in such a way that non-mushroom lovers would be able tolerate them. Maybe by cutting them up in small bits, or frying them to change their texture (which can be the biggest problem about mushrooms). However, it would mean so much to him if you, a mushroom hater, takes the effort to at least try his mushroom dishes. It really shows that you love him.

[doshmanziari]

Without a doubt, and by far, the most marginalizing development I've seen within media analysis over the past decade is a shift towards the production of long, flashy videos which tend to require the same for a dialogue to occur. Literally nothing which has been written about Elden Ring, for example, since its release has enjoyed even a fraction of the visibility as a one-hour-and-forty-minutes video by Joseph Smith, or another of similar length by NeverKnowsBest. I don't know when exactly the shift started to happen most obviously -- maybe 2016 or 2017 -- but, today, circumstances are such that pretty much the only way to get real discursive traction on your thoughts about a piece of media is to make a colossus of a video.

Although worried and worrying discourse has complemented the unveiling of newer public A.I. technologies, we've already done a perfectly fine job of out-dating other forms of media communication by way of the aforementioned analytic format; just as, of course, earlier methods of industrial production rendered a whole variety of professions or emphases as outmoded. If you don't have the relevant editing tools at your disposal and/or don't want to spend hundreds of hours cropping footage and making it fit with music and your own narration, well -- too bad! And even then, of course, there's no guarantee that your video will reach your desired scale of an audience. I've found dozens of such videos on YT channels with only a few thousand views, if that; and on each channel it's clear that the people finally gave up after the monumental task of assembling these videos had no equivalent payoff.

Personally, I do still believe in the primacy of the text (or the spoken word, with no competing stimuli); in text as the primary form of critical engagement. More than that -- if I'm going to read a non-fiction work, I want the paged book, and not a digital version. Now, this preference is just that: a preference. And it surely is a preference a good number of people share. I find that a paged book lends itself better to my own retention of the material; and I really enjoy making my notes on the book's paper with a pen. But I don't believe that the construction of multimedia behemoths should be a baseline requirement for discourse.

I wonder if we will, in the near future, start to see some resurgence of the valuation of unembellished textual analysis complementing a more general fatigue with Internet-derived overstimulation. I've already run across numerous channels with fairly sizable communities where there is an appreciation for the "simplicity" of the formats: a person in a room just talking to the camera. I think a lot of people like engaging analysis where the only barrier of significance is devising a good script. To be sure, this is a formidable barrier in itself. I find writing long-form pieces to be the most difficult of any of my creative practices (which include drawing, painting, and music composition). But if writing on media were my main passion or goal in life, I'd feel fairly crushed to know that these projects now required me to put in perhaps quadruple the amount of time to make a blip on the radar of engagement.

EDIT: Thinking on this -- I wonder if there's a parallel to be found in the realm of supplementing one's work with excess-entertainment via social media engagement; e.g., daily Instagram videos. "Excess-entertainment" refers to material that's being made not because everyone who's making it wants to make it, but because each person is now beholden to an abstractly instituted algorithm of engagement -- an algorithm reinforced by audiences who, also under algorithmic influence, will wonder what's going on if a week goes by without something from a Content Creator.

Most artists who I've talked to regarding their Instagram videos say they would be only too happy if they never had to do another upload showing them adding paint or linework to a work-in-progress with lo-fi beats. Similarly, I wonder how many people making these mega-videos actually want to make them, and if we're not rather seeing the production of this material under a mutual, and mutually untrue, assumption of necessity, and the demands of a largely imaginary audience; and how long they'll be able to keep the act up, given the certainly enormous time investments they require (while noting that I am sure the more successful people hire others to do most of the editing for them).

[little-shadow-club]

Because of your texts I'm obsessed with SLR... Just freaking out over your gay texts about Suho and Tiel.

Although I don't know which chapter of the novel the Manhwa is in...(Could you send more of that lovely Suhiel/Tieho dialogue?

Also, I read your Pirates Au fic.... IT WAS DELIGHTFUL TO READ

I would love to see more of your writing work.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH AND YIPEEEEE MORE SLR FANSSS, and I'm so happy you read my fic thank you SO MUCH I'm on my way to either send more or crash out because I've yaoi too close to the sun, 50/50 possibilities. Either way I'm really happy to know you enjoy Sutiel/Tieho. As for the Novel we uhhhhh Tiel doesn't exist in the novel (still it's such an amazing novel for me tho, hope the author just manifests Tiel in the future to yaoi about novel suho and him there— no seriously I KNOW the novel author's other work. I KNOW he can write that homoerotic shit while also not giving in to the 'male power fantasy must have waifu' trope LIKE OF ALL PEOPLE I TRUST WITH PLANOTIC FRIENSHIPS. IT IS DAULLLLLL. If Tiel had been in the novel I would have assended as the Yaoi Bodhisattva, that author can write God bless him every day.) and the manhwa has decided to just completely go off the rails, so he's a manhwa only character (I'd even go as far as saying someone decided to omniscient reader' it and place themselves in the story to be homoerotic foils with MC).

They haven't met in canon —kinda. As far a I remember this started first with just being funny 'haha Suho but evil' but then it spiraled from the moment someone on Reddit went "Suho is going to Miho from a dangerous situation and fall in love with him." Classic damsel in distress style, and then I re read the chapter where Tiel got rescued by Suho and I was like... Oh Oh he... he questioned why Suho save him which means he's questioning the reason of why we protect others, which is the main archetype of Suho, that he's protecting others... Upon fusing with 3rd fragment he decided to make Suho his ally, oh, oh, he thinks he can sway Suho to his side, the one person that can literally tilt the scales of war in this galactic battle. Oh he's apostle, a ruler to an extent, controlling over the living while Suho controls the dead. He's a blind follower for his creator destroying the world while Suho is reconstructing a world his father once destroyed. *Gets hit with flashbacks of Link Click, Alien Stage, Devil man Crybaby, ORV, and other shows with black and white yaoi* OH THIS HOMOTRON 3000. IVE HEARD OF THIS YAOI BAIT BEFOREEE. IVE KNOWN THIS DOOM GAYS BEFORE

AHHHHHHH. And now I'm here. Currently on the twelfth bloc note, 4 docs, 100+ messages of brainrot on discord and 1 hour recording of the divergence plot. I have written drabbles these past 4 weeks so much you'd think it was my 2025 resolution (it is).

Anyways outside of this one shot, and the other series I posted on anon (scared moots know I'm making yet another series) I have shared a lot of my thoughts on discord since it's a more relaxed format than posting the blogs, so if you wanna share brainrot with me on Sutiel, I recommend entering @jdah 's server.

Beautiful server (tho I have been away there for a month since I got exams... in <12 hours rn. But anyways thank youuuuu so much for reading this long rant. I will be sure to post more Sutiel content as I go! (Maybe even Greek Mythology content since my next semester's studies are all about that. Same on taking notes for ceramics and Arts so I can allude to so many romantic moments for a uni AU. Or maybe A lost kingdom AU. Ghosts AU. Mythical AUs. Canon divergence where Tiel meets Suho years before. Some arranged marriages. Some Isakaid! Deserted Villain x Duke. Gosh there's a lot! I've even got some screenshots from the notes I've been taking just about everywhere ;-;.

[sno4wy]

Did you seriously drop that much money to try to make your awful ship more valid? Guess what? You didn't, hope you enjoyed wasting a ton of money. It doesn't matter how much money you pay, you and your lame friends will always be the only ones who prefer your fugly builder with Miguel. Just give it up and go jump off a bridge already.

Hey Anon, based on the three messages you sent me today, it seems that my sharing of my commission from Momodeary in the official Pathea Discord server really upset you. Your rage felt really familiar to me, and I thought about this a lot about why. I'm going to hazard a guess that you're lashing out at me more than usual because of the price aspect, especially for something that seems so frivolous. I get it -- I grew up in abject poverty, and I harbored a lot of rage about it both directly and indirectly for many years. It really sucks not having the money to do what you need, or even what you want, and it can feel like having salt rubbed into the wound when someone else shows off some pricey non-necessity that they got. Everyone deserves to get what brings them joy, as long as it isn't something that causes harm to others, and it sucks that capitalism/corporations/societal structure/etc make most people unable to attain that. I sincerely hope that things improve for you.

I'm fortunate now to do well enough for myself that I can afford a pricey commission like the one that I shared. I got the commission because I like Momodeary's art style, it's not a style that I see myself personally doing, and I'm making it up to myself now for all the things that I couldn't do in the past. I wouldn't be so presumptuous as to say it was to support the artist, as she has tons of clients and certainly didn't need my money, I'm really lucky to have been able to get a slot with her. If you have the means to do so and want to, I really suggest contacting her directly -- the worst thing she can say is no, but more likely is that she'll put you on an (admittedly long) waitlist. The point is, if you're upset about not being able to get a commission from her, don't write it off until you try. Worse comes to worst, she can't fit you in, but there are tons of skilled artists out there with similar styles that you can commission instead. It's ok though if you have your heart set on Momodeary, most artists are very accommodating as long as the client is understanding and willing to wait.

If your anger has to do with not being able to afford a commission from Momodeary, I'm really sorry about that. There are some ways that I can help, if not directly to get you a commission, but perhaps means to address the funds shortage issue. I managed to claw my way out of poverty, and in the process picked up more than a few ideas and tricks, however at the end of the day, there is no magical get rich quick scheme, and everything that you hear about how to find a job is sadly mostly true. For instance, a good resumé is an integral part to finding a job, and a big part of what makes a resumé good is proper formatting. Having gone from someone who sent out hundreds of resumés to someone who's had to review hundreds of resumés, I can tell you that so much of the time, it's a lot less about the contents of the resumé and more about its appearance. Countless qualified, heck, overqualified, people get turned down for positions because their resumés don't even get looked at. I'm happy to look over a resumé if you'd like, and of course I'd understand if you need to anonymize most of it before showing me. Please note that it is sadly the case that having a good resumé, or in many cases, all the correct qualifications, don't necessarily guarantee you a job. Connections are at least, if not more, important, so don't be shy about asking for help from friends and family in this aspect.

Finding and securing a job can be a long-term project though, so picking up some side hustles might be a good way to generate some income, especially as you can keep these side hustles after finding a job. A lot of people have even done so well with their side hustles that they were able to make them into their careers. I'm happy to make suggestions, but I'm afraid that my knowledge is chiefly confined to the US and my ideas may not be applicable or workable in other countries. I have found however that a fairly universal way to generate some income via a side hustle is through selling crocheted items. Crochet is very quick and easy to learn and master, and yarn is very cheap, especially if you get store brands like Joann's Big Twist. Red Heart Super Saver is also very cheap yarn that comes in a ton of colors. There are countless free patterns on the internet, and ones that aren't free tend to be pretty cheap, generally within the $5 range. It is totally legal to sell the stuff you make from purchased patterns; some patterns even explicitly state that this is the case. The best part about crochet is that you can do it while doing other stuff, like commuting to your job, watching a show, listening to music, etc. It's totally possible to churn out a ton of crochet animals (amigurumi) in one day. Dipping into fandom stuff by making characters from a certain franchise is a great way to sell crochet products. Another really cool thing is that there doesn't currently exist a way for crocheted items to be mass produced; while there are items that look crocheted, they're actually sewn together pieces and not true crochet. Machines can't currently make crocheted items. Buyers looking for real crochet products want something that only a human can make.

Online marketing tools are also pretty solid. Etsy is the way to go for handmade crafts, although they do take a pretty hefty fee (15%). You can try to cut down on that fee by listing on your own social media, in which case you'd still have to pay a 3-5% handling fee for payment processors, and it can be a pain trying to beat social media algorithms. If you're handy with TikTok, that's a great way to boost awareness of your brand, and you can use those same videos as Reels on Instagram and Facebook to get your accounts noticed faster.

If you're an artist, you could of course always try to go the commissions route, but I've found that this is a much harder uphill battle than trying to break into the scene marketing crochet goods. If you do decide to give crochet a shot, I really recommend investing in a quality hook -- Clover Armour is many crocheters' go-to. They are pricy, around $9 for a hook, but they last forever and they're super comfortable to use. You only need one to start -- I recommend the size G (4.0 mm) one, as that goes with the most common yarn weight for a lot of amigurumi. Big Twist and Red Heart Super Saver are also both Worsted weight yarn, for which you use a G hook. If this is something you really want to do but are really tight on funds, I'm happy to get one of those hooks for you, just tell me how to get it to you.

I have a lot of other ideas for possible side gigs, which all will require a lot of work, but will return income. However, I'd just be spitballing, so hit me up if you want to talk shop. You know where to find me. ;P

[marlynnofmany]

I've recently discovered your take on... well Tumblr. Amazing 👏 love the work! Fabulous!

Then I've noticed: you wrote a book! (It being in my amazon basket and waiting for payday), may I be so bold as to ask: do you publish yourself? Writing, editing, publishing, all the jazz? I'm very curious 😆 like a cat. Curiosity still hasn't killed me, so why stop now? 🤣

Thank you! Yes, I've written several, and I publish them myself. My original plan was to get an agent who would introduce me to the big publishers who would shower me with money and fame, but that turned out to be, shall we say, unlikely. (The industry is changing fast. Even the lucky souls who do get a deal with the big publishers generally don't make much money.)

But luckily for me, self-publishing has turned into an arguably better route in many ways! I've tried a few different companies (BookBaby, Ingram, Draft2Digital), and I plan on sticking with Draft2Digital for the foreseeable future. I'd be happy to go into detail if you're interested.

Self-publishing does mean that it's on me to either Do All The Things, or to pay other people to do some of them for me, but I enjoy adding new skills to my hoard! And this is the internet age when you can learn just about anything online. Plus I've made a lot of writer friends who are in the same boat, and sharing resources/recommendations/etc is GREAT.

Everybody wants to help everyone else! YouTube is full of how-tos, and every indie writer I know will happily share what expertise they have with anyone who asks. Including me. :D Feel free to ask more questions!

Here's a list of all the books I've put out, including my own novels and anthologies that I organized (editing and formatting and cover art, oh my), plus a collection of writing prompts because I have far more ideas than I'll ever have time to write.

More of everything is on the way! This is the career I've been aiming for since I was a kid, and it's a blast.

[amelias-calamity-quintet]

Quintet Fanwork FAQs

This is not a bid for fanwork! I promise! This is a resource post, title is just for formatting. I realized I'd only really organized this information in the EH Discord, and I wanted to make a public post about it so the resource would be available for everyone since I have included a number of fanart pieces sent to me in MoaH and GoS at this point. I'll be adding a link to this post in my pinned post as well for people to reference later.

Can I make fanworks of your fanworks?

Yes, absolutely, you're welcome to. Please tag me! I cannot promise I will read all of them if they're fics on account of wanting to keep ideas separate from others' interpretation until at least after edits are done for a work, but I will reblog them and pop in to leave kudos/likes and thank yous at the very least if you post it and otherwise gush over it in DMs if you don't.

Can I use elements from the Quintet's mythos in unrelated fanworks (i.e. Reechka/the Horned Goddess)?

Again, yes, absolutely! One of the reasons I made @expanding-hyrule and have talked about GoS being popular a lot is because GoS has search engine weight due to its age and its relative popularity. The success of GoS boosts the whole community. If you enjoy my writing, you are welcome to grab pieces from my headcanons to use too if they inspire you. Please just credit me if you do (and tag, I wanna see what you're doing with the pieces I've tossed out there). But I am inviting all of you to use the success of GoS (albeit on Wattpad) to boost yourselves too.

How do you pick what fanart to include in the Quintet?

All of the fanart included in the Quintet are works that 1) I've gotten permission to use from the creators and 2) are posted to the creator's public social media that are compatible with AO3's image sharing options. All of those inclusions list who the fanart is of and link back to the creators' social media directly. This has dual purpose too. One, it makes sure that the artists are credited and two, it means if the artists ever change their mind about having their work included, all they have to do is delete the post if they're uncomfortable reaching out to ask.

But if both of these criteria are met, then I will pick a chapter that corresponds to the art in question and include it there. If it's general art of a character or a looser concept, I'll include it in a chapter that does not currently include art. I will also send the creator a link to the chapter it's included in so they know. If you're on the EH Discord, I have a thread for this set up in the Quintet corner of things over there.

While I do save all fanart sent to me and I do use them in things like the MoaH Obsidian vault for reference, I don't personally feel comfortable reposting other people's work even with explicit permission (the horror stories I could share on that, but not here). This is also one of the reasons you'll only see things like aesthetic boards for characters on the EH Discord (though I'm happy to DM them if anyone is curious), not all the refs are cited and I don't want to share that on more public social medias like Tumblr.

What about commissioned work?

If I get commissioned work done, it will be noted as commissioned work in the same format that fanart is noted as fanart. I plan to always be transparent if money is exchanged for art.

Will add more as I think of it.

[sator-the-wanderer]

May I offer a book rec? I've been wondering for a while now if you'd get a kick out of The Bartimaeus Sequence by Jonathan Stroud - based on all the other fandoms I've seen you post about over the years, it might be up your alley?

Enjoyed HP? YA modern fantasy book series that actually really holds up when you read it as an adult featuring an iconic trio containing a morally grey black haired protag who makes questionable life choices, a non-magician girl with beef with the local government, and an immortal djinni with great narration style. Stroud isn't ears deep in twitter discourse, so there's also that.

Enjoyed Discworld/Good Omens? Loads of amazing footnotes, jokes, wordplay, excellent humour that will be followed by a quote that will knock you into next Tuesday, and fun history stuff alongside commentary on slavery, how much the British empire sucks, the evils of capitalism, love, devotion, grief and humanity.

Enjoyed HP Lovecraft? Millennia old spirits from another dimension bound into servitude by magicians, capable of great power and devouring people and each other. One has tentacles and also really likes knives. The protag djinni has eaten people multiple times. There's at least one spooky eldritch horror in each book, even if in one case he's kinda trapped inside a skeleton.

Like wordplay? Puns? Unreliable narrators? Magic and murder mysteries? Awesome action scenes? Traumatic backstories? Suspiciously goth Egyptians? That one kid who died ages ago but who haunts the narrative like a ghost? Endings that will devastate you? Corruption arcs turning redemption arcs? Then boy howdy do I have three books and a prequel for you!

(start with the trilogy, though, is my recommendation.)

Don't know how to obtain the books? I have all 4 in pdf format and am more than happy to share.

If you don't feel up for it, no biggie. If it turns out not for you, perfectly fine! I just thought I'd throw it your way in case you end up enjoying it ::3

YOu know, I actually have it in my reading list since last year and one of my buddies has a 13cm-tall book with the whole tetralogy! I guess it's time to read it

Thank you for the rec and also for the donation! You're always the kindest ����🖤