#if oscar had a pet crystal lizard that would be his name...

[knightscanfeeltoo]

i remember when knight oscar came with that lizard if you preorder him, which i did...

[hdawg1995]

DnD Antics: “Man up and be a farther, ZACK!”

before rebegin Ryan (frost crystal) changed his name to Sam recently so if you’ve been following our antics for a while know that Frost Crystal is played by Sam. carry on~

we leave the earthen sanctum as it is collapsing. Envoy’s wing is crippled and the Monk tried to save her but got his arm smashed by falling rocks. the everything is crumbling and our witcher almost dies so many times!

DM: roll reflex. elizander: *rolls* DM: okay you trip but flow into a summer salt so you’re still running. elizander: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

everyone gets out BUT Zack!

me: Bardic knowledge! DM: you sense that someone is in trouble. me: I cast fish face folly! DM: odds or evens? me: eeevens? ryan: Odds just to be evil. me: *rolls 17* ryan: ODDS! DM: you cast FishFace’s folly. there is now a moose standing before you. Envoy: *silently screaming* DM: hes eating walnuts. he was gonna get attacked by a bear. me: oh okay. i roll to pet the moose. Envoy: *nat20* me: OF COURSE SHE WOULD! Ryan: this is envoy’s attention span: we are in danger! save the frie- OMG A MOOOSE!

there is now a moose named Oscar that hangs around the pokeball.

*WARNING. THE FOLLOWING IS A DESCRIPTION OF WHAT WE HAD TO DO TO SAVE ZACK. ITS GONNA GET GRAPHIC PRETTY FAST.* 

Zack was in the mouth of the cave but it was collapsing. Tim was rolling horribly and fishface folly was our best bet but it failed so we went with the ranger’s idea: a arrow with a rope tied to it. the original plan was to shot the arrow and hit a leg or something fleshy so it wouldn’t be so bad and would be easier to heal. unfortunately Tim wanted to try and grab the arrow with his good hand. im pretty sure you know where this is going.... the reflex wasn’t high enough so the arrow shoots threw Zacks hand- and into his and out his elbow. his bone is splintered in the process but he can still grab firmly onto the rope. Spine (in his sadistic glee) helps Valekimin pull on the rope to get Zack out of the still collapsing cave. hes at 5 health and is confirmed for worst rope burn/road rash in the history of ever. it was taking too long how ever and Zack was bleeding out, so the ranger has her bear yank on the rope. this cause the arrow to go half way back into Zack’s arm.  once hes out the ranger (in a very bad case of miss wording) yanks the rope and arrow out of his arm, knocking him out. the necromancer boops him on the nose to give him 10 false life but he goes out again when we do the math for the rope burn ON THE INSIDE OF HIS ARM and the bleeding hes doing so the necromancer heals him again. why am i including this you ask?

lindsy: i give the bloody, gory bits of the rope to Rose. Rose: *takes the rope. licks it.* Spine:....do you like it??? Rose: >_>.....>u>....*starts pealing the gore off very slowly* Tim: *horrified into going unconscious AGAIN.*

*OKAY YOU’RE GOOD!*

we all go running off in our own ways to avoid a land slide (Envoy Nazul and Zack are in the pokeball, Spine blink daggers away, Vale flies with her companions, Frost Crystal plan shifts and Elizander....)

DM: roll reflex. coolie: *rolls* DM: you land on your hands and spring into several back flips before righting yourself. you keep running. elizander: FUCK YOU GUUUUUYYYYSSSS! (we actidently left him behind....>_>)

so alicaria goes to the plan where all the deitys are and finds no one there so she goes back to the normal plain HOW EVER....

Vale and Spine try to tree teleport and end up in Frank’s forest.

vale: *casts speak with plants* Frank? hello? Frank: Sup bruh? Ryan: *facepalm* hes a teenager now....

Vale has to go kill a evil yant to prove her worth to her qticotal and spine goes with to watch.

*vale and evil radio active yant fighting* Ryan: is there such thing a necrotic popcorn?

Alicaria brings everyone to the steam punk gnome village. its very bad. Envoy wants to stay and help but she needs to go visit Frank and do some things so they tree-port there. once there, Envoy does a song and dance of prayer to the moose asking for advice. she is told to return to the gnome city and help the people there, and that there is a meeting with all the deities at the moment.

Envoy: okay. i’m going to get some wood for a personal project and then head back to cogsworth! me: *nat 1 on finding some wood* Envoy: *picks up stick* this should be enough! Elizander: Envoy that stick isn’t enough for what ever project you’re doing. Envoy: and how would YOU know me I-Don’t-Have-WoodWorking? elizander: what are you making...? Envoy: rings. elizander: that stick would make 1/3 of a ring, Envoy....

Elizander and alicaria look for a log for Envoy and Alicaria nat 1s.

DM: you turn into a tree. you are comfortable as a tree. its very nice. Envoy: *flies up and sits in the Alicaria tree* Issac shelab and the griffion: *same* Elizander: come on alicaria! we need to go! Envoy: you ARE my only way of getting back to the steam punk city... Sam:.....im a tree :D Alicaria: *cats vines. lifts elizander up* coolie: PUT ME DOWN! Sam: IM A TREE MOTHER FUCKER! :D

evenutally Envoy (who can’t fly, is too far away to ride the yak or teleport) decides to ask Frank the blue flying moose tree for some help.

Frank: sup bruh. Envoy: Sup man.  Frank: wut ya need? Envoy: my ride is kinda tree right now. shes chillin so i ain’t gonna throw off her grove, but i promised the BFM id help out at cogworth. any ideas on how to get me there? Frank: nah bruh...sorry. Envoy: thats alright homie *pat the tree* Frank: wait. hang on i have an idea. *summons tree spirit* yo homes help her out. Spirit: why doesn’t she just fly? Envoy: this ones broken *pats wing* Spirit: *fixes it* eh... still got a job to do.

the spirit lifts Envoy high into the air and we all think shes gonna get thrown. she gets planted into the ground instead and she is sent flying through roots in the ground. still fun! 

DM: you stop. everything is dark. Envoy: *remembering everything Spine taught her about being buried alive, she takes some dirt and drops it to find where ‘up’ is* (this is funny cause it took Spine 12 tries to figure out what direction UP was when he too was shot underground and was trying to dig out)

Envoy pops out of the ground and, with no best friend necromancers to hurt with her ultra awesome flute that heals people, she spends the next 24 hours healing wounds and lifting spirits with her music. mean while...

Envoy: eli- elizander: Envoy. Envoy: i can’t get her to let you go- Elixander: EN-Voooy. Envoy: and i promised the blue flying moose i would help- Elizander: EN. VOY. Envoy: IGattaGoImSorryBye Elizander: DONT LEAVE ME HERE ENVOY! *envoy gets planted* Elizander: ENVOY!....ENVOY DONT LEAVE!....EEENNNVVVOOOYY! Alicaria: do you want up? Elizander: fuck you do you want to play chess???

Elizander plays chess and alicaria is a shore loser. she puts him on frank.

eventually Zack comes out the pokeball with the yak and he tries to help Eliznder but drops him. Eli hangs upside down thanks to the vines alicaria cast to catch him and the Yak boops him about with her snout before eating the vines.

Elizander: i want to go home... Shiba: *bumps the witcher* Elizander: oh? you... you want me to get on? okay. *gets on the yak* are you gonna take me to Cogsworth or- Shiba: *starts to buck him around, rodeo style. this is how she has fun*

Vale kills the thing and Spine takes the remains into his necropolis so he has a new friend.

when we FINALLY get everyone back together, Envoy has a surprise for everyone! While healing the gnomes non stop and keeping spirits high, the gnomes gave her the title “The Healer” (she gets a +10 to heal checks now) and as a thanks for her work, they gave her a air ship.

Tim: so wait- me: I HAVE A AIR SHIP YALL! WOOT WOOT! Ryan: wait JUST her??? DM: YES JUST HER! shes the only one that was helping the city. its HERS.

the wrecking crew has a air ship now. its piloted by flick!

Envoy got some wood along the way and after we fix Zack and stuff and blah im getting tired LETS GET TO THAT TITLE, SHALL WE?

so while Nazul was a baby, Zack decided to be his dad since Slyvia was bent on being his mom. adopting the assassin was pretty nice, and Zack even continued to refier to Nazul as his son when we fixed him. (this is hella sweet cause Nazul never had a mom or dad so this is like major awesome for him).

so what does our grateful neutral evil Assassin ghost boy do? WHY GO BACK TO THE DWARTH CITY AND BUY DRINKS FOR EVERYONE WITH ZACK’S MONEY AND NAME!

he gets caught at first. Drawth: arn’t you that prick that stole everyone’s money while the trolls were attacking? Nazul: are you sure it wasn’t the TROLLS who stole your money? DM: Roll Bluff. Nazul: *Nat 20 cause when DOESNT this group get nat 20s???* Drawth: YOU’RE RIGHT! DAMN TROLLS!

he gets up to alot of mischief. he also turns all the dwarths racist towards gnomes. eventually he gets caught caught and is sent to the king.

King: you bought the town ale with your farther’s money, sent the lot into a drunkin rampage resulting in many citizens breaking into the royal whine cellar, you cheated two times in the pits- Nazul: i was having too much fun. (he killed a orger, a 4 armed gorllia, and a lizard person. he broke the rules cause his rune brought him back to life 2 times) king: -and all this in your farther’s name. how do you think he will react to this? king: *teleports Zack there* this your son?

the result is Zack owes the drawths 100,000,000 gold OR he can return the cane algres stole from them.

and at the moment hes buying cheese for master spliter so he can be level 20 with the rest of us.

SEE YOU ALL NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z!