#if nuengdiao is a fake bitch than frankly so am i

[khaothanawat]

There was a moment during episode 4, pretty much around this exact shot, where I started to wonder whether Jojo is maybe just a bit of a masochist for choosing to write a romantic story about two characters who constantly refuse to say or show what they’re actually feeling. 

It's hard enough pulling a romance off with one closed-off character, but oh my god. He absolutely does make it work though. I guess when your characters spend so much time putting up a mask, or even flat out lying to one another, then all of a sudden the truth can be found in the inconsistencies.

Nueng has a couple of really nice scenes with Chopper in this episode where they talk seemingly pretty openly about their lives. At one point, he directly says to Chopper that he trusts Ben (“Besides you, my cousin, he is another person I can trust”). Only, when Palm later asks Nueng the same question, he answers “I don’t know.” 

That direct contradiction is interesting, and it sort of makes me wonder whether Nueng even really trusts Chopper enough to be completely open with him about his feelings. It’s not even that Nueng is necessarily trying to lie to Chopper - just that maybe he’s putting up something of a front, because that’s just what he does. I don’t even think this contradiction implies that Nueng doesn’t like Ben, or is suspicious of Ben, necessarily. Just that he doesn’t trust him completely. Nueng has had plenty of moments of seeming emotional honesty with Ben, and they could all have been completely sincere, but Palm asks “Can he really be trusted?” and Nueng stares at him, is silent for a long, long moment, and answers with: “I’m not sure.”

So, for Ben, even if Nueng does genuinely hold good feelings towards him, there’s possibly always going to be this little voice of doubt in his head.

After expressing his doubts to Palm, Nueng goes onto talk about being able to trust in someone else’s feelings, which sort of echoes his earlier conversation with Ben where he talks about his feelings of loneliness and how unworthy he feels of loving or being loved. This feels like such a key part of who Nueng is and what drives some of the things he does. That could probably do with its own post though, because hhhh. Moving on.

There’s a moment in this episode where we actively see Nueng decide to put a mask up for Ben (and omg Phuwin’s acting... don’t get me started don’t even look at me-)

At the party, Ben and Nueng catch up once they’ve finished performing. Nueng has spent the entire time so far staring very sullenly at Palm and Maggie, and so when Ben first speaks to him, he sounds pretty cold and withdrawn still. 

It’s only when Ben jokes about carrying Nueng home that Nueng decides to rein it in a little bit. He closes his eyes, and when he opens them again, his entire demeanour has softened. He decides to give Ben what he’s looking for - he flirts, he makes some very vague promises. He... essentially treats Ben the way he’s been treating Palm this entire time, only with a lot less scolding. And a lot less intention, possibly - there’s little moments in that scene where Nueng looks so briefly unsure about how to appease Ben without actually promising too much. That never really happens with Palm. 

Ben leaves, and the second his back is turned, Nueng’s face drops once more, back to being sullen, still mad about Palm and Maggie. 

Nueng’s propensity to be closed off with the people around him extends to... honestly, everyone in Nueng’s life. Including Palm, although I’d argue that Nueng seems to trust Palm at least a more wholly than he does anyone else. Nueng even tells Palm that because they’re friends they shouldn’t lie to one another, and that he’s is easy to read (which... Nueng, oh Nueng, my sweet little summer sparrow, my precious idiot). He seems to trust that Palm, at least, is one of the infinitesimally small number of people in this world who absolutely holds no bad intentions towards him. He implies as much to Palm at the lake (”When I have you watching my back, it kind of feels good.”)

But even so, in that same scene, we see Nueng furiously dance around his jealousy over Palm and Maggie, whilst actively trying to get more information on what is actually going on between them. He acts so cooly detached and unemotional about it (much like Palm also does - AND I’LL GET TO HIM IN ANOTHER POST BC THIS IS TOO LONG I need to be stopped), but we see very clearly in the moments when Nueng is alone that that’s not the case at all.

But maybe that’s less of a trust thing and more of a ‘I think I have feelings for my hot bodyguard who I definitely would not be allowed to date and who might literally be dating someone else anyway’ thing.

(Part Two: Palm)