#if not oh well I'll either just be sad or have to repost it later

[outofangband]

what we know of Aerin in The Narn (plus my thoughts and opinions on some of them)

Aerin is an extremely compelling and tragic figure in The Children of Húrin, even despite her brief appearance. There is not much we actually know about her from the text so I thought I'd go through the times she was mentioned and discuss the canon facts and then share my opinions on some of them, where speculation might be warranted

This is in part just a reference for my recent headcanon posts and fic but I also just really love Aerin so much

Note: I go into her story in the Book of Lost Tales version here!

mentions of canonical abuse and violence

Aerin is mentioned in two chapters and appears only in one of them. She's first mentioned in chapter four, The Departure of Túrin

In this chapter we get this information:

She is Húrin's kinswoman though the exact nature of their kinship is unclear. She is forcibly wedded to Brodda, one of the incomers, who seizes both land and property in Hithlum (I talked about the textual information about this and the implications here) She aids Morwen in secret, bringing her food and it is in part because of her aid that Morwen does not die of starvation

It is worth noting that the exact phrasing of "by force" with regards to Brodda is not in The Silmarillion. Though the context makes it pretty obvious that it was unwilling, it's still an interesting addition/deletion.

The rest of what we have of her comes much later, in the chapter “The Return of Túrin to Dor-lómin”

We learn first that "some of the kindlier manners of old were still kept by Aerin" and Sador, now her servant, grants Túrin shelter. On this same page we learn from Sador that it is Aerin who feeds and shelters many who would otherwise have been thrown out. He tells Túrin again of Aerin's aid to Morwen and how she saved her from starving.  This time we learn to that Brodda, the man Aerin was forcibly wed to, did indeed find out and beat Aerin for it. Indeed, the mentions of Morwen in front of Brodda seem to frighten Aerin even more and she at first denies knowing anything. Whether she is attempting to mitigate any harm she might endure for what she had done to aid Morwen or if Brodda required her to deny anything is unknown. (I have plenty of posts speculating about this so I’ll leave it here for now. There’s some in my post Nírnaeth headcanon collections and fic and will be more in the next ones. Anyways)

“She knew all the counsel of your mother,” Sador tells Túrin of Aerin

When Túrin comes to the halls, Aerin is sitting beside Brodda at the feast. She is noted to go pale, seemingly at both his arrival and what it will mean, as well as for Brodda's anger which is raised at once.

When Túrin asks her of Morwen and what she can say of it, she says "nothing, in great fear for Brodda watched her narrowly."

When Túrin seizes Brodda and puts a sword to his throat, him and Aerin have this interaction

"Am I not Túrin, lord of  Dor-lómin? Shall I command you?" When he does, Aerin answers his questions of Morwen, saying she was persecuted by Brodda and co and had fled to Doriath about a year before.

We see little of her during the killing of Brodda and the initial outbreak of fighting. She next responds to Sador's dying words, urging  Túrin to leave "He speaks with the truth of death. You have learned what you would. Now go swiftly! But go first to Morwen and comfort her or I will hold all the wrack you have wrought here hard to forgive. For ill though my life was, you have death to me with your violence. The Incomers will avenge this night on all that were here. Rash are your deeds, son of Húrin as if you were still but the child that I knew."

Túrin responds to her, calling her faint of heart and saying that she too has not changed from when he called her aunt as a child and when she was frightened of dogs. (one of the very few facts we learn of her time in Hithlum before the Fifth Battle. The other one being that her father was named Indor. This is the only mention of him throughout the text. Though the name was originally used for the father of Húrin and Huor this was later abandoned and in the final version, Galdor was their father) There’s no canon evidence for this but for some reason I always read him reminding Aerin of HER being afraid of dogs as him misremembering in the way kids often do where they’re scared of something and project that fear onto adults. I can’t really explain why. But regardless these are some of the only sparse details shared about her.

Aerin urges him once more to flee. She tells him that all who were there that night will suffer for what he has done.

Túrin at last heeds her advice and leaves with a few men of Hithlum. The last we hear of Aerin is the speculation that it was her who set fire to the halls. Asgon says, "many a many of arms misreads patience and quiet. She did much good among us at much cost. Her heart was not faint and patience will break the last."

We do not know if she died in the fire. She seemed to think her death was inevitable no matter what she did. When she speaks of it to Túrin, she seems more resigned than frightened.

Her appearance is bleak and upsetting but also fascinating. Aerin is in some ways just as defiant and stubborn as Húrin is and she endures abuse for just as long. She is defiant to the end like her kinsman, maintaining whatever she can of her culture and defying Brodda to help Morwen and others, even when she faced violence for it.

(Also, Húrin watching this scene… theworldisquietheretooquiet were talking about this. )

I've talked a lot before this interaction between Aerin and Túrin namely here and  here but with more scattered throughout the tag so I won't go into it too much here but it's certainly a poor moment of Túrin's to treat Aerin such, even after learning of her courage and suffering in helping Morwen as well as others of his people. It's obviously not Túrin's fault he hasn't been able to be in Hithlum leading and aiding his people but Aerin has been there (again, not by choice) and has been taking on this role.

It's worth noting that while the Narn does not actually say if Morwen and Aerin were close before the Nirnaeth, BoLT actually does say that Aerin loved Morwen and although that version is not canon, it's part of a passage and section that makes it through to the final version otherwise largely unchanged.

I personally think that she and Morwen were close. Again,  I've made several posts about it before but Aerin tells Túrin in her last words to him that if he does not go to Morwen to comfort her, she will not forgive him for what he has done in Hithlum. It is also the only offer that he makes her, to bring her to Morwen.

“But go first to Morwen and comfort her or I will hold all the wrack you have wrought here hard to forgive. For ill though my life was, you have brought death to me with your violence.” 

We do not know much for certain about Aerin’s personality! While we can certainly infer that she is loyal and brave and kind by her actions and what Sador’s words about her, we only really see Aerin when she’s a captive and when she’s terrified and directly under threat. We do not ever get to see her free to speak or act as she wishes and I am saddened by that. It’s one reason of many I’ve done so much trying to develop her character pre Nírnaeth as well as after! I hope I do her justice

I love her very much. Always feel free to ask more!

[cellsshapedlikestars]

What fandoms/pairings did you get into before Jonsa? Or the first work/story that made you discover fanfic?

Just randomly sharing, broke my phone other day and looking for my downloaded fanfics made me look even further back.

😭 Final Fantasy VIII rpg game was 25 years ago and beloved fanfics of it published 20 years ago (still there in internet).

Also realized my love for broody, sulky male protagonists with angry chip in their shoulders and female characters that receive hate just bc they’re “princess”-y, “damsel-in-distress” not-the-strongest type was there too. (Prob started it.)

(we def share a ship preference for broody/princess lol)

It's been so long, I can't remember how I found fanfic. Probably in my Sailor Moon phase (elementary school-ish) because I absolutely wrote Sailor Moon fanfic. (I never posted it online or showed anyone, though. I can distinctly remember writing a Sailor Pluto fic where she's still alive after all the other sailors are killed, and she just stands there as the keeper of time waiting sad and alone for millennia for them to be reincarnated. Really fun and chill story, 12 year old me!) I can't remember any fics specifically that I read, though there was this website that used to MST3K "bad" Sailor Moon fanfics, and I remember reading a lot of those. I didn't ship anyone in Sailor Moon.

If you want to know about any prior ships/fics I wrote, below the cut!

Considering how much media I have consumed over the years, I don't tend to ship very hard. I tend to go with what the piece of media tells me the ships are tbh. Jonsa is the first that wasn't canon.

InuYasha

The first fandom I had a ship for, and the first fandom I actively remember reading fic for. I was big into Miroku/Sango. Never wrote anything for that, though.

Harry Potter

I did vaguely ship Harry/Ginny while the books were coming out, and even wrote a few chapters of an alternate book 2. That was on ff.net and is probably purged at this point. I could not tell you what my username or the fic title were lol.

Later, I dipped my toe into the Marauders/Jily fandom, but never went all out, because by that time, I'd become disillusioned with Harry Potter. Every once in a while, I'll go read a Jily fic.

Buffy

While this is my favorite show, I didn't ship too much. I kinda shipped Buffy/Spike (have thoughts on it now) and also Angel/Cordelia. I never read nor wrote fic for either of these pairings.

Veronica Mars

Veronica/Logan. Read some fic, never wrote anything.

Skins

I wrote a one shot for Sid/Cassie. Posted on my old livejournal and now re-posted to an alternate ao3 account. I don't hate it. I'd probably change some things if I were writing it now, but I think it's pretty solid.

(No, I just re-read it and it's very solid. Kinda proud of this one)

Glee

I am SO embarrassed to say this, but I wrote a Rachel/Puck one-shot after the episode where they decide to date because they're both hot and Jewish. It wasn't a super shippy fic and mostly centered around him telling Rachel Quinn's baby was his. I stopped watching Glee after the first season lol and did not repost that fic from my livejournal to ao3. It can die on livejournal.

Elite

Carla/Samuel!! LOVE me some poor boy/rich girl dynamics. I got really into them and even read some fic, though there wasn't much out there. Never wrote anything. Have debated writing a Jonsa Elite AU

The Other Fandom

Now. I have hinted in the past that I used to be in another fandom that I wrote fic for.

Oh, the OC. You held my heart for so many years (well. 2 years). I wrote so much fic for you (mostly in the first year, kinda fell off and did more experimental stuff in the second).

That fandom was the O.C.

I'm kind of afraid to say the pairing, because there's only 1215 OC fics total on ao3, and for my pairing is not one of the popular ones, and I wrote about a quarter of those, so I feel like you could find my alt account pretty easily...

I dunno. I'm a little embarrassed about some of the fic I wrote back then. Some of it is SO unnecessarily dramatic (AND IN FIRST PERSON. I HATE FIRST PERSON POV!!). I also wrote a wild amount of smut for someone who didn't really know what the fuck she was talking about lmaooo. I've spoken a lot about how skittish I am about writing smut now, but as a teenager I was cranking that shit out. (ok I actually just looked and it's only 5 explicit fics, but still. That's about 1/5 of the fics I wrote)

I'm probably making too much out of it, because there are some fics I'm proud of, but enough that I'm embarrassed by that I have yet to be able to publicly say what my apt account is

[trimisu]

When their s/o didn't say "I love you" back

Character/s: Kenma, Hinata, Bokuto, Kuroo

Contain/s: fluff

A/n: had to repost this because I just remembered I posted this by accident two times already last week and privated it ಥ‿ಥ posted it again yesterday because I got too excited. Ahhh, anyways, thank you for requesting and waiting! Enjooyy!

Masterlist

>> Kenma Kozume

It wasn't really intentional.

It all started when you two were playing some games together.

You were the one who suggested playing together as a way to hang out despite both of your busy schedules.

Well, not physically together, you two are playing while on a call.

You and Kenma were having a fun time; getting multiple win streaks, improving some of your game skills with the help of your boyfriend, laughing at the dumb things you two did in-game, generally having a great time together!

So, before entering another match, you swipe down your notification bar to check the time just to see that you need to pick up your little cousin/s from their school.

"So, wanna play another roun–" "Agh! Sorry, babe! I gotta, no, need to go!"

You hear him hum in acknowledgment, "oh, it's okay. Take care of yourself alright? I love–"

"Okay! Okay! Got it! Alright, byeee!" You quickly ended the call.

"–you...?" Kenma was left stunned. Maybe you're really in a hurry...

But little did he know that your whole week will be very busy.

His calls are left unanswered, the messages he sent to you are either left on seen or you just replied with a thumbs-up emoji or "Alright, see you".

If you happen to hang out with him after any of your classes, it will be the same, but you just hum in acknowledgment as you pack your stuff and head out of the room.

He may look calm on the outside, but on the inside, his mind was like, "did I do something to upset them? I don't even remember what I did. Or did something happen that made them upset?"

Trust me, he'll have a pouty face and won't even notice.

You just happen to notice that something's wrong with him after surviving your busy week and begin to ask him what's wrong.

Kenma would just stay quiet for a bit and would ask, "Did I do something wrong that you didn't respond 'I love you' back to me...?" in a quiet voice.

Cue your confused face, because this boy will look away from you while explaining to you about your behavior, still with a pout.

"Ah, I did? I'm sorry babe, I didn't notice," you held his hand with a sad face, "My week has been busy and I didn't know I hurt you because I forgot to respond, I'm sorry..."

"It's fine," Kenma then will rest his head on your lap, he lets you play with his hair as a way of saying, "apology accepted".

Also, you need to make up with a lot of physical affections when you two are alone (or else Kuroo will annoy the hell out of Kenma)

>> Hinata Shoyo

Now, why would you not respond to his "I love you"? >:(

You always wonder what his reaction would be if you didn't respond.

Every free time, you two would hang out either by yourselves or with his friends and since you two aren't in the same class, it allowed you to test it out.

Curiosity kills the cat, as they say.

So, you two hang out at the back of the school when the school bell rang, signaling that class is about to begin.

"Ah, class is about to begin, I'll see you at lunch, 'kay? Good luck with class! I love you!"

You waved at him, "Thanks, see you!" And jog off to your class, leaving him dumbfounded.

Did you just leave without responding to his "I love you"? Yes, yes you did.

Did he think that maybe he didn't hear it? Yes, he absolutely did.

Now, let's jump to lunch time.

Same scenario except that you're with Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Yachi.

The school bell rang signaling that lunchtime is over, making you three pack your lunch boxes.

"Ne, you're coming later for our practice, right sunshine?" He asked you.

"Of course," you said, as he gave your hand one last squeeze before letting you go.

"See you later! I love you!" He waved you goodbye.

But you just wave back and run off.

Okay, now he is even more stunned and confused.

"Did you two get into a fight or something?" Yamaguchi first spoke up, puzzled at what happened.

"Eh? No, we didn't."

"Then, did you do something to upset them?" Tsukishima then asked.

Poor boy, he began to look back and list down the things that he did wrong, but he can't seem to know what it is.

Because he's innocent to begin with AHEM

So, hours later, it was after class, and you and Yachi were having chit-chat while walking to the gym.

The moment you entered the gym, you heard your boyfriend's voice calling for you.

"(Y/n), can we talk for a bit...?" And his tone was half serious and half sad too!

And it was not the usual sunshine or sweetheart names, just your first name.

"Uh, sure?" Puzzled at his tone, Hinata dragged you out of the gym where you two could have a private conversation.

When he let go of your hand, you feel your heartbeat going faster, not in a good way btw.

"(Y/n)," Hinata called you by your name again, "Did I do something to make you upset?"

I'm not lying when I say that Hinata's lips are stretched into a frown.

The tone of his voice made your heart clench, making you regret the thing you did earlier.

"No! No! I'm not mad at you! I'm mad at myself for letting my curiosity take over–" "huh?"

The expression on his face changes so fast; it was shown he was sad at first, but then it turned into confusion in less than a second.

"Curiosity– then, you're not mad at me, to begin with?"

"No, you did nothing wrong! I swear, I just wanted to know how you'd react if I didn't respond..." You looked at the ground, feeling ashamed.

Then your boyfriend sigh in relief.

"Ahhh, I thought I was done for... Don't do it again! I got so scared thinking that something might happen between us..." He hugged you tightly.

The hug felt as if he was scared that if he lets you go, you might not come back. It made you want to kick your brain for thinking that.

You hugged him back, giving a reassuring pat to his back, you said to Hinata in a soothing voice, "I'm sorry for doing that, love... I promise I won't do it again, 'kay? I love you and always will."

>> Bokuto Koutarou

Please don't do this to this precious owl :( #bokuto-protection-squad

Just like Kenma, it was unintentional.

You just didn't hear that he said it.

It was when you were with his teammates.

You were playing a game on your phone (genshin impact) when the school bell rang, telling the students that classes are about to start.

Since you two aren't in the same year, he would kiss your cheek, almost startle you, and say, "That's the bell! See you at practice, baby! I love you!"

He expected a kiss on the cheek and an "I love you too" but you just responded with an "okay" and walked away (still playing on your phone ofc).

His face has a confused look.

Did you just respond with an "okay"?!

"Woah, did you two get into a fight?" Konoha is the first one to speak up.

Bokuto's spiky hair became droopy as he slouched with a sad face, "No, we didn't have a big fight..."

Akaashi then spoke up, "I think (Y/n)–"

"Are you sure? Maybe you did something that made her upset," Konoha cuts off Akaashi.

"Listen, (Y/n)-san was just–"

"Oh!" Once again, the setter was cut off, but it was by Bokuto, "I remember the time I didn't... show up to... our date..."

Bokuto trailed off, 'til his mind was able to process what he just said, "I DIDN'T SHOW UP!"

"Bokuto-san, that's not–"

"Guys, what do I do to make (Y/n) forgive me?!" Bokuto began to panic.

Saru, the good friend he is, has a plan and begins to discuss it as clearly and quickly as he can with his teammates.

You're also the same year as Akaashi so they appointed him to bring you to the agreed place.

He already gave up trying to tell them since he gets interrupted >:(

Bokuto clasped his hand, "OOOH! I like that idea! Let's do that!"

So, after that discussion to "make Bokuto make it up to you", all of them bid goodbye and went to their respective classes.

So, after classes end, you got startled by Akaashi himself on your way out of the classroom.

"Akaa–" "No time, come with me," you didn't get the chance to ask what's going on as Akaashi immediately drags you to the agreed place–which is the gym.

I know you know that this is the place they agreed to meet. Don't lie!

The setter led you inside the gym and to your surprise, there was a single, rounded table covered in a white tablecloth.

There were two clean plates and utensils tucked in a napkin (you were wondering where did they get those)

And finally, you saw your boyfriend holding a bouquet of roses, he was wearing a formal suit (also wondering why he has that) and a charming smile that could magically make you smile too.

"What's this?" But despite the wonderful and simple preparations they did, you were still confused as to why they had to go through all the trouble to do this.

"I did this to make it up to you!" He bowed, stretched out his arms to give you the bouquet, I'm sorry for not showing up at our date! I–" "Wait, what date?"

Trust me when I say that he has this surprised Pikachu face expression.

"The one... I didn't show up to?" "Oh, that date? But didn't we both cancel that date since you have volleyball practice and I have a project to finish that day?"

"W-WE DID?!" Then, memories began flooding back in. He recalls when you two are on the phone together, talking about where to move your date.

"Oh... Then why didn't you respond to my 'I love you' earlier?" Bokuto would pout at you while you're just standing there trying to ponder earlier.

Thank your nice savior for stepping in and explaining to you what happened earlier.

Your mouth was agape a little. After Akaashi's explanation, you just remembered when Bokuto startled you when he kissed your cheek.

"Sorry, love, I didn't mean to ignore you like that. I'm not mad at you alright? I love you very much!" You squished his cheeks and smiled at him, "how should I make it up to you?"

Knowing that you still love him is already enough for him! But extra hugs and kisses from you won't hurt hihi!

>> Kuroo Tetsuro

Now, if you want this person to annoy the hell out of you, be my guest.

Because he won't stop until he gets his "I love you" back!

But of course, (if) you're a stubborn person! You ain't backing down!

If you're wondering what made you think not to respond to his I love you, he did something that you couldn't forgive him.

Well, more likely he ate something he shouldn't eat.

So, it's both of your day-offs and you two are lounging on the couch, watching some sappy romance series showing on tv.

Well, uh, it's you trying to ignore Kuroo trying to get your attention after, you know, what happened.

This son of a rooster will coo into your ear, maybe leave some kisses here and there, and will cuddle you while repeating how much he loves you and that he is dying for your attention already.

"(Y/n)," he cooed, "You know that I love you so much right?" Then proceeds to hug you tight if you still give him the silent treatment.

This man really turns into a baby when you're there (•‿•)

He will just be there beside you, pouting that you paid more attention to the cliche romance tv series than him.

Pls, notice this cute and heartbroken boyfriend of yours...

"(Y/nnnn), kitteeennn..." He then began to list down all of the pet names he called you.

If you do dare to notice him, this man will rejoice in his head and say to you, "Finally! You've noticed me! I guess you still love me, eh?" and have this smirk.

Then you went back to ignoring him.

And when he does get his I love you from you, this boyfriend of yours will whisper to you, "I know, I'm hard to resist~" and have this cheeky grin.

You cocky rooster head (•‿•)