#if its too hard to read any of em lmk and ill see if i can fix it. or maybe make a new post or smth

[mamawasatesttube]

AND THAT'S A WRAP, FOLKS!!!!

so... which one was the lie?

(drumroll, please...)

"He once threw the Daily Planet globe at Superman."

congratulations to the 5.3% of you who got it right!!! kon has never thrown the globe at superman; i just made that one up bc it sounded funny. get bamboozled!!

as for the rest, explanations and citations below!!! :D

1. He tricked an intergalactic capitalist out of $10 billion in profits off a race.

superboy (1994) #58

yeah this one isnt all that out there comparatively, huh? still, its an arc i deeply enjoyed. demolition run my beloved. it's also just one i enjoy a lot bc it IS a moment of kon being a) really good at thinking on his feet, and b) understanding people he's just met. he calls himself stupid all the time, but he's actually pretty smart!!!

3. He condemned a cyborg woman to eternity floating in space, unable to die.

superboy (1994) #90

HOO BOY I LOVE IT WHEN HE GOES APE SHITT!!!!!!! this woman, amanda spence, is responsible for creating match as well as killing tana (can't blame her for that one lol) and also being a goddamn eugenicist. she's been hurting people kon loves for a long time by this point, and he Fucking Snaps.

"she said she didn't need to breathe. said she had no heart. said she couldn't die. fine by me. but she'll pay. she wants to be eternal... i give her eternity, floating in cold nothing." this is one of kon's most metal quotes ever, in my opinion.

4. He stole a baby and went on the run from the government.

superboy (1994) #88

this is arc is part of the leadup to "our worlds at war" and it is, imo, one of the best arcs in the entire run. guardian is dead, and somehow recloned into a baby, which is classified as property of cadmus and the us govt. but kon knows they're going to force him back into fighting, and he knows guardian's last wish was that he actually be allowed to die and rest, not just keep getting forced back into the battlefield. so he takes that baby and runs.

i love this arc bc it goes hard on a lot of sb94's "clone personhood and bodily autonomy" themes. the fucky thorny morality issues leading into wartime (can guardian's dying wish be used to deny earth an army against apokolips? etc) are handled fairly well and with proper weight, and it's just. ough. kon i have feelings about you.

5. He spent two months being enslaved by furries while on mind-control drugs.

superboy (1994) #50

i dont even know what to say abt this arc. it makes me insane. its SO fucked up if you think about it for more than 0.4 seconds (he was enslaved and kept on mind-altering drugs for TWO MONTHS STRAIGHT and then was so lonely he immediately forgave the people who enslaved him.) but also like... furries????????? lol????

6. He vocally supports his gay superhero friend, who has an alien boyfriend.

superboy and the ravers #13, #19

these two pages are from different issues of the ravers, but refer to the same character: hero cruz!! i love him. he's a gay black man who realizes he's gay, breaks up with his girlfriend, and gets an alien boyfriend. his ex doesn't take it well and spews a lot of homophobia for the rest of the run, but kon defends him against her. which is notable to me bc this comic was written in the late 90s.

in general i just love the ravers. theyre a good squad!!! gay rights.

7. A canon alternate universe version of him is a cowboy named Kid Kon-El.

superboy (1994) #64

hypertime arc my BELOVED. this is one of my other fav arcs in sb94!! kon goes on a multiverse-hopping adventurer to stop a conqueror named black zero from trying to subjugate as many realities as he can get his hands on. there are a bunch of alternate timeline kons in here, including our beloved robin kon who took up the mantle after his tim's untimely death. look at kid kon-el and his legendary telekinetic lasso. YEE-HAW!

8. He got into a fistfight with Kara Zor-El's mother.

supergirl (2005) #51

now in kon's defense, alura started it. ksdjhfkjds

this is part of the last stand of new krypton event!!! it's a bit of an undertaking but the story is really fun. the entire new krypton saga is dear to me (although. i have not read war of the supermen and i dont know if i ever will have the strength to. they turned the fucking sun red i gotta leave.)

for those unaware, alura zor-el survived the destruction of krypton because she and her husband were in the city of kandor, which got bottled by brainiac. when clark rescued kandor from him, they (and another ~100k kryptonians) were freed! "new krypton" is the story where that happens. its Good.

9. When homeless, he ended up living in a part of Metropolis called "Suicide Slum".

superboy (1994) #94

if youre thinking "hey. this sucks?" you're right. that's a homeless 16yo getting drawn in by a predatory landlord and its played for laughs. its also not the worst part of this issue! dan didio when i get my hands on you.

after the end of "our worlds at war", cadmus, where kon had been living since he left hawaii (after furry slavery arc, actually), disappeared. the research went underground and the facilities were abandoned. kon was homeless and living out of yj headquarters. after a fight with cassie, he decided to find his own place to live. this... is the direction didio went with it. it's not great. after 6 issues, the run got cancelled and in issue #100 (the last one), superman finds out kon's been living in the goddamn suicide slum and goes hey. no. and takes him to live on the kent farm instead.

10. He has a special hand-stamp that teleports him to an intergalactic rave.

superboy and the ravers #1

hell yeah baby!! the hand-stamps are an integral plot point during the genesis event that happens partways through this run. their instantaneous teleportation capability is a whole Thing.

this is the second part of my pitch to get more people to read ravers btw. it's just fun!! theyre silly!! also the first half of it has the prettiest kons ever. ♥

11. He never actually watched Star Wars because it was downloaded into his head at Cadmus.

adventures of superman #506

MAN people really thought this one was fake!!! i was surprised, i thought more people had seen this panel or heard of people talking about aos#506. i probably live in an insulated superboy bubble.

but yeah! cadmus canonically downloaded star wars into his brain in the tube. he also references star trek at the end of this issue, implying that was also downloaded in there, given that he's barely been alive for a few weeks at this point.

12. He discovered a magic zombie collective city under a silo in Smallville.

superboy (2011) #8

sb11 my beloved. this run is just kon having small town adventures and its soooo dear to me. he basically acquires a gang of small town closeted queers in high school. like, what closeted small town gay hasnt done that?? i know i have.

my fav detail about the first page i cited here is that while poor simon and sajan are walking down all those stairs, kon and krypto are just fucking floating down the middle of the stairwell. ldkjflkdjl

okay yippee thats it!!! thanks for reading!!! if you want to talk abt any of these (or other kon facts) my askbox is always open for kon :)

i got bit by the "two eleven truths and a lie" bug, so heres a lil quiz!!

if you follow me you PROBABLY know the answer. or at least can rule several of these out. but hey if you know, don't say it until the poll's over!!! rb and tag with what you guessed/if you Know, i wanna see if i made it too easy :3

*11th choice should say "at Cadmus", it got cut off and i didn't notice and i can't edit the poll :(