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littlethie · 4 years ago

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In Safe Hands - Draco Malfoy x reader

You and Draco are in a relationship. The two of you have a fight but still go to a party. Draco is still angry and reserved until someone drugs you and you seek out his help.

A/N: this was FUN! Thank you for a lovely request ❤︎

Warnings: Angst, fluff, alcohol, drugs, swearing, puking, mentions of death/killing, fainting - this sounds like a horror movie, I swear it isn’t

Requested: Yes / No ; By: starcross16

Words: 1,9k

picture’s not mine

“Fine, then I´m not going!” you screamed at your boyfriend and dramatically sat down on the sofa, your voice echoing through the manor. The two of you had been fighting this whole day. You couldn´t even remember why, anymore.

It had started in the morning. You both had woken up a little annoyed, snapping at each other every now and then. You were visiting him at the Manor since his parents were away on a fancy Malfoy-style vacation. Everything had made you irritated and you hadn´t even been able to make breakfast in peace. Draco had been answering you unpleasantly and acting as if you were an obstacle in his way. This hurt your feelings, since you had been invited by him.

You didn´t fight much in the relationship. But today was different. You both could have dealt with the irritation. But when Blaise Zabini had invited you to join him and the others at a party happening at his place, Draco had said something about you not being able to handle liquor and something about you embarrassing him.

So you had been screaming and fighting. You had done your makeup and hair. You both wanted to go, perhaps, let off some steam. It was kind of funny, how you had fought but still got ready. You didn´t think you had a problem with liquor, and honestly, you both knew, somewhere deep under your layers of egos, that this whole situation was just an unfortunate outcome of bad sleep or a bad day. But you were also stubborn. And resigning was just too anticlimactic for the both of you.

“Don´t be such a fucking child, Y/N,” he scoffed at you, evidently now more irritated. “Perfect, now I´m a child. If you don´t want me to go, then just tell me. I may just fucking stay at the Manor and bore myself to death,” you rolled your eyes and put one leg over the other, while your head fell behind, leaning against the backrest.

He was fuming. You knew you both had to go. Everyone knew you were visiting him. “Don´t make me angrier. Get up.”

Oh, how you didn´t want to. Again, standing up would scrape your ego. But you did it anyway. Draco huffed and walked to the door with your unbothered body behind him. He grabbed you by your arm but didn´t look at you. Firmly and a tiny bit painfully. His brows were furrowed and mouth upside down in a scowl. He could never hide his discomfort.

You apparated in front of Zabini´s huge Manor. All you knew was that his mother was also somewhere on a vacation. You were a expecting a peaceful evening, maybe some other classmates. But when you arrived you could hear loud music coming from the inside. Draco let go of your arm and made his way inside. There was one thing you couldn´t deny, though. He looked extremely attractive in his tux.

You followed your snappish boyfriend inside and got immediately greeted by already drunk Blaise, Theo, Pansy, the smell of alcohol, bodies and perfumes. “Heeeeeey, the favourite couple has arriiiived!” he slurred.

“Merlin, Blaise, how many people do you have here?” Draco asked, totally perplexed, looking at the mass of people dancing and drinking. “I have no idea, man. Some people have invited people and they have invited more people,” he laughed and this was the first time Draco gifted you a look. A confused one. But he did. Others quickly rushed you into this huge saloon.

“Come on Y/N!” Pansy had a strong hold on your wrist while dragging you to the bar. “What are you drinking?!” she screamed through the music. You looked over at Draco, who was not far behind with Theo. “What are you drinking?” you asked him, the annoyance leaving your mind. “Don´t care about me,” he growled and your heart sunk. “I just asked…,” you explained but his face stayed stern. He walked through you, leaning slightly over the counter asking for a firewhisky. He usually asked for your drink too but tonight… not a chance. “Oh, trouble in paradise?” Theo smirked and Pansy hit his arm. “Stop being an asshole and leave… and take your drama queen with you,” she pointed at Draco with her head.

Theo squinted and mimicked her, but Draco swiftly turned him around by his shoulder. “You alright Y/N? What happened with you two?” she snooped a little and you just shook your head. “It´s nothing. We had a bad day full of fighting. We both got up on the wrong side of the bed,” you sighed. “Oh, I´m sorry. A little drink and dancing will always help! We can start lightly. Hey!” she turned around to face the bartender. “Two gin-tonics please!” she yelled at him. The bartender looked at her then you. He blinked at you. You were petrified. “Did you see that?!” you came closer to Pansy. “Yea, I heard he´s a prick, don´t mind him,” you obeyed but this feeling in your gut just wouldn´t go away.

You looked behind you to see where your boyfriend had gone, and you spotted him sitting in a booth with the boys and some other classmates. You turned back the moment you heard the bartender. “This one´s for you…” he handed one drink to Pansy, “and this one is for this beauty I hope I can see later,” he handed you the other drink. “I´m sorry, I´m here with my boyfriend,” you gave him an uncertain smile. He raised his eyebrows and looked at you strangely. What the heck? “I said, don´t mind him! Let´s dance!” Pansy grabbed you again and dragged you right into the middle of the dancefloor.

You took a sip from your gin-tonic and let yourself go. You noticed Draco walking behind you towards the bar, probably for another firewhisky. “Hey…” you grabbed his arm lightly. He shot you an angry glance and wriggled out of your hold. “Can´t you leave me be for just a few fucking hours? This doesn´t help me calm down.” You were looking at him totally blown away. He continued in his way and you were now looking at Pansy, who was about to rip him to shreds. You stopped her. “Just leave it. Let´s dance!” you were trying your best not to cry. So you finished your drink as quickly as possible.

After a while your body started feeling weird. And so did your mind. It was only one gin-tonic. You said to yourself. Out of the blue, you could see not one, but two, three, four Pansies. You stumbled a little and Pansy quickly got a hold of you. “You didn´t eat anything before this, did you,” she laughed. You couldn´t answer. Your eyes were circling around the place. The lights were too light, music too loud and people too many. You wanted to tell her something was wrong, but your mouth felt like powder sugar and you put your fingers up to your face to feel it. She was dancing like crazy, turning away from you to dance with this cute tall boy.

Your steps seemed heavy as rocks. You felt like puking. Every time you made a step forward it was like your direction changed or the room turned around. Your sight was blurry and music made you flinch. It was even worse when different bodies hit you while dancing or walking. You tried to steady your mind, focusing on the platinum mop of hair. You were well aware of your situation and what was happing.

You thought it had been at least an hour. It had actually been five minutes. Your eyes landed on his tall body. He was standing, his back facing you. His hands were on the table supporting him. You were getting closer.

“Draco…,” you breathed out as soon as you reached him. He turned around with an extremely annoyed face. “Fuck, you´re already drunk?” he frowned, “you only had one drink, Y/N, this is what I was bloody talking about,” his friends were looking at you with raised eyebrows but you couldn´t care less. You felt the panic attack washing all over your body.

“I can´t. I... Draco, there´s something wrong with me,” that was all you had managed to let out before collapsing, Draco catching you just in time. His annoyed face turned into a worried one. “Y/N?! Hey! Baby! Come on!” he shook you gently, but your eyes kept going backwards. You had fainted. The boys didn´t wait a second and helped Draco take you out for some fresh air.

You had woken up by then and you steadied yourself, holding onto Draco and Blaise. They helped you sit down on a bench outside of his manor. You knew you had to get it out of your system. You put two fingers deep down into your throat and puked. Theo was quick to bring you some water. Boys let the two of you alone. You were sitting on the bench for a solid hour. Draco didn´t mind though. It helped him calm down, to gather his thoughts and to realize what an actual ass he had been this whole time.

Draco pulled you into him, kissing the top of your head. You closed your eyes, feeling a little better now. “What the fuck happened, Y/N?” he murmured into your hair, slowly rocking the both of you back and forth. “I think the bartender drugged me. I am not sure, though,” you answered him honestly, taking in his sweet and masculine scent. And just as you said that, Blaise stormed out.

“Guess what. The bloody bartender has been selling drugs in my own fucking manor. He shat his pants when he saw Y/N, so he confessed. The boys are taking care of him now.” He said and squeezed your shoulder softly as he left to deal with the sucker. You could see Draco��s urge to go and hex the guy, but you held him close to your body. This was more important and he knew it. “I´m so sorry, Y/N. If it weren´t for my stupid stubbornness, this wouldn´t have happened,” Draco cupped your face and placed a warm kiss on your lips. “I´m going to hurt him anyway, though. Who does he think he is?!” he growled and you placed your palm on his fiery cheek. “Hey, just let it be. Let the boys deal with him. Don´t get your hands dirty,” you smiled and shifted closer to him. “I want to kill him. This is all my fault,” he pressed a kiss onto your forehead.

“It´s not your fault, Draco. We are both stubborn. I was acting like a child today and I want to apologize. I am a little emotional at times and you are really the only one who can handle me,” your noses were touching, foreheads pressed against one another. He moved his nose gently along yours and kissed the tip. “I love you, Y/N. I promise I´ll take care of you. I promise I´ll keep you safe. I don´t know what I´d do if you were…,” he gulped, “you know, if you ended up in a worse condition, just because I am too proud to let things go.”

“Stop, Draco. I am here. Thanks to you. You know that I love you too.”

“I think it´s time to head back home. There´s no other place I´d rather see you than in my bed with my clothes on. What do you think?” he smiled beautifully.

“Let´s go,” you whispered and kissed him once more.

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tlbodine · 3 years ago

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The Great Content Warning Debate

Horror Twitter has been aflame for a few days now with heated discourse about trigger/content warnings, and I keep seeing the same arguments and questions and points come up repeatedly so I wanted to collect all of it into one place because I feel like discourse can only get so far if people keep reinventing the wheel -- so perhaps having the full discussion laid out in one place could be helpful.

Of course, the folks arguing probably won’t see this post, but perhaps there can be some benefit from talking about it anyway. This is intended to be more of an overview of arguments and counter-arguments, collected and displayed as impartially as possible, but of course my own opinions are going to leak in and color some of this.

NOTE: This is written specifically from the perspective of the horror book community, a genre that traditionally is associated with troubling, transgressive, risk-taking and shocking works. There are discussions to be had for content labels on other types of fiction, but as I’m unfamiliar with the norms and expectations of, say, romance, I’m not going to wade too deeply into that here.

So without further ado, the arguments and counter-arguments and discussion points that I keep seeing hashed and rehashed and circled around when the issue of trigger warnings comes up!

If you’re sensitive, you shouldn’t be reading horror

“Horror is supposed to be horrifying! It’s not fluffy bunnies and kittens! You’re supposed to be made uncomfortable!”

There are a few problems with this:

“Uncomfortable” is not the same as “Sent into a panic attack/flashback/relapse” (ie, triggered)

People with PTSD and other issues can and do engage with horror all the time and often love the genre for entertainment or therapeutic purposes

Many people are fine with some types of content but not others; blood and guts won’t affect them the same as rape, or they’re fine with adults dying but can’t handle child death, and so on and so forth

Knowing what you’re getting into can help you prepare/brace yourself so you’re not taken unaware; people with the right warnings can mentally prepare themselves and enjoy a book that they would not have been able to read if they were confronted with it unexpectedly

Trigger warnings are censorship

Some folks have an implicit/kneejerk reaction that “trigger = bad thing” and respond to the request to put warnings on a book as a moral value judgment on the book’s contents. I can see why they might fear that, especially because at a glance it’s easy to conflate the groups asking for warnings with the groups who say things like “if your characters have underage sex then you the writer are literally a pedophile.” But by and large the folks asking for warnings do not seem to be asking for folks to stop writing certain difficult themes, only to provide a heads up for readers about the type of experience those readers can expect from the book.

There is an argument to be made that warnings could affect the sales of a book, in much the same way that an NC-17 film doesn’t get the same distribution opportunities as an R-rated or PG-13 film, and that authors/publishers will make marketing decisions to include or exclude certain types of content in order to avoid this.

Trigger warnings will spoil the book

While some readers will benefit from content warnings, others might have their reading experience ruined by knowing about major twists. This seems especially relevant with a warning like “child death.” It’s very important that people who have, for example, recently lost a child not be unexpectedly re-traumatized by reading about a child dying without warning. But it’s also important that people who want to enjoy the full, shocking impact of such a scene have the opportunity to do so without having it dulled by forewarning.

Any kind of warning system needs to be opt-in for a reader. Some suggestions include:

Placing warnings at the end of a book, where readers can flip to that page to look (not helpful if you’re ordering online)

Placing warnings on the author’s website, where readers can search (not helpful if you’re buying in person)

Given the limitations, a combination of those strategies seems to make sense. It may also be unfortunately true that someone looking for one type of warning (ie, rape) will have their experience ruined if they spoiler themselves for another warning (child death). This may be unavoidable collateral damage.

Authors/Publishers should be responsible for putting warnings in their books

There seems to be some debate over whether the onus of responsibility for providing warnings rests on the author or the publisher. It should be acknowledged that authors may not always have the power to make this choice -- and if the presence or absence of warnings becomes a factor for judging the quality/moral fiber of authors, those authors could be punished by the reader community for a choice that was largely out of their hands (although, there’s still nothing keeping the author from hosting those warnings externally - how successfully that is implemented is another matter).

Additionally, the demand for warnings will be placed more consistently on small presses simply because those presses are more likely to heed the request. This could create a double standard where readers might be more forgiving of large pub works that forego warnings because there’s no expectation that they would have implemented them anyway. On the other hand, this could be a way for indie publishers to differentiate themselves on the market and appeal more to certain subsets of readers.

External groups or communities should be responsible for warnings

There’s a line of reasoning that an author or publisher may not be sensitive to the potentially triggering/damaging things in their work, and some kind of external governing body should manage this work instead. This does sound a lot more like the censorship argument that people are worried about.

Wiki-style sites and places where people can freely tag books (such as Storygraph) also fit this bill to an extent. They would presumably have less power over the market than a ratings board like the MPAA, but could still exert influence over how a book is received.

Demanding warnings will negatively impact marginalized authors

We’re already seeing some evidence that BIPOC and LGBTQ authors are affected more by user-generated trigger warnings on sites like Storygraph, and that these warnings can be weaponized against marginalized authors. Much like review-bombing a book before it comes out can affect its launch, labeling a book with inaccurate trigger warnings could damage its sales.

Similarly, lists of “safe” and “unsafe” authors have already begun to circulate among some groups, and there seems to be a disproportionate number of marginalized creators on that “unsafe” list -- at least according to the anecdotal reports I’ve seen.

Historically, it is true that any attempts at censorship or content moderation will be more harshly applied to marginalized groups (see: film ratings for gay sex vs straight sex).

It’s impossible to warn for everything

One hesitancy that some authors have with tagging their work is they’re not sure what to tag for. Triggers are highly personal, and there’s no way you can possibly guess what might upset a reader.

Here’s a list of commonly agreed-upon things that might make sense to tag for in a given work:

Violence/gore

Suicide/self-harm

Rape/sexual assault

Domestic violence

Child death/endangerment

Animal death/abuse

Drug use/substance abuse

Racism/slurs

That said, it’s still difficult to account for context. At what stage do you warn for something? If a character is drinking a beer, do you need to tag for that? Do you distinguish between the tone things are written in, such as being played for laughs vs seriously? If the rape scene is written artistically/metaphorically, does the same warning apply as if it were described act-by-act in a clinical sense? What if your blanket list of warnings gives readers a false sense of what the book will be like -- is it actually helpful at all, or is it just posturing/virtue signaling to include warnings that won’t actually be effective?

Some would argue that this is dramatically overthinking it, but this does seem to cause a great deal of distress to authors who want to do the right thing but worry about getting it wrong. An argument could be made that trying and failing might be worse than doing nothing, especially if your attempts get you labeled as a “trustworthy” or “safe” author only for that trust to be “betrayed�� by a warning you used incorrectly.

On the other hand, many would argue that we all “pretty much know” what needs to be warned for, and that warnings are intuitive. These granular questions could be viewed as a distraction from more common sense issues.

Readers are responsible for managing their own safety

Ultimately, because it’s impossible for every potential trigger to be identified and warned for, readers will need to remain vigilant. Of course, there are already ways to identify the content of a book without any kind of established warning system -- such as, for example, reading posted book reviews, asking a question on a book’s Goodreads page, reaching out to the author directly, asking about the book in a reading group online or having a friend/parent/spouse/trusted person read the book first and report back with their findings.

This is the system we’ve pretty much used as readers for years, before “trigger warning” became part of the common vernacular, and it does have some distinct advantages just because you can get a lot more specific information this way.

It is possible that if warnings become more commonplace for books that readers may become less vigilant about their own safety, which could paradoxically put them at greater risk of finding troubling content unexpectedly.

There’s also the issue of “safe” and “unsafe” author lists. At the moment, while the discourse is hot, it’s perhaps more natural to pick sides and disregard some authors for reasons that may be unfair -- for example, marking an author as unsafe or boycotting her work because she doesn’t want to include warnings, but she wants to avoid warnings because she strongly believes they will be detrimental to a reader’s safety. A reader may or may not agree with that perspective, but it’s certainly not the same motive as an author who would do something actively malicious to a reader (like, idk, emailing a screamer to a reviewer or something. that’s a made up example.)

In the end, trigger warnings are a good idea, but the issue is complex to implement and some people do still have reservations about their overall efficacy.

We simply won’t know one way or another until we try to implement it. But in the meantime, I do think it’s valuable to continue talking about this, as long as everyone involved remains civil and engages in good faith. Once people’s perspectives start getting thrown out the window in the heat of the moment, or strawmen arguments are erected that don’t reflect what anyone involved actually believes, the discussion ceases to be helpful.

#trigger warnings #discourse #twitter nonsense #authors behaving badly #writing advice #writeblr #writing #publishing

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cherry-interlude · 3 years ago

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Lana Del Rey Unreleased Ranking (3)

This is a re-ranking of Lana's unreleased songs, after making a first a few years ago. This is all my opinion, which I don't mind anyone disagreeing with but don't come for me for it - honestly, I like every song, despite any criticism, and this ranking is very vague. It's based on objective and subjective opinion.

This is the third of five posts, with the middle songs.

Dreamgirl

Purely wholesome and dreamy, Lana adds some very fifties “shoo-wops” to play a fifties starlet whispering, her vocals soothing and soft along with the looping piano that guides the song.

Jimmy Gnecco

Breathless over the brisk guitar, Lana gushes over Jimmy – mixing her adoration of her lovers with wannabe-starlet fangirling. It’s one of her best acoustic tracks as she smirks and requests a trip to the park.

Elvis

Lana’s acoustic dedication to her icon Elvis Presley is memorable despite how stripped back it is. It could have been cleaner but Lana’s sorrowful desperation to be close to this man who she is such a fan of works well in being decent output from her.

Boarding School

It’s a difficult listen, considering Lana’s nostalgia is for a “pro-ana nation” and a school where “makig love with your teachers” is revered, but it may just be a satirical look at her time in boarding school when she was younger. I don’t enjoy listening to such worrying topics being handled in an upbeat song but the song itself has well-written lyrics and a great instrumental.

Television Heaven

This song is incredibly sweet, with lovely lyrics, dreamy verses and a distinctive pop feel, but it is definitely a strange mash of instrumentals. It’s not too jarring but it does make the song fall lower in ranking. It feels indecisive as it goes from sugary pop to a slightly darker feel in the choruses, and the lyrics aren’t the most imaginative in Lana’s library of tracks.

Be My Daddy

Lana’s full on sex-kitten in this song that opens with twangy guitars and her hushed “what’s up?” as she greets her potential “daddy”. With dirtier lyrics that she’s “open like a Christmas present” and how she’ll “fuck you”, Lana avoids keeping the sex in just the vibe of the song.

Break My Fall

Another song made for another artist, Lana this time sounds like she’s doing her own track. The pop sound is still ideal for actual music charts but Lana pulls the song off well, playing a strong woman far removed from the tragic women of many of her songs. It’s strong in quality and doesn’t stray into more experimental territory where many of Lana’s unreleased songs reside.

Hit and Run

With three versions to pick from (the poppy original, the Born To Die style slower version and the demo Criminals Run The World that’s a little more overt about Lana’s violent intentions), all three of these songs have something special about them. The pop version is bouncy and chaotic, perfect for a wild spree of gun fights and car chases. The slower version is much more seductive and measured, but a little too reflective compared to the manic power of the upbeat version. Criminals Run The World ranks much lower, not as smooth compared to Hit and Run but still with that insanity that makes Hit and Run a wild ride.

Heavy Hitter

With a jazzy introduction, Lana gives us a glamorous tale of a star having an overdose (somehow she makes it glitzy). However, following the suggestive chorus in which Lana asks her man to open his butterfly doors of his car (to drive her to get help, somehow delivered with seduction rather than horror), the lyrics get lost in Lana’s generic praising of herself and her wicked ways. However, it’s a staple of Lana’s unreleased music, even if I do skip after the (if you think about it) harrowing first verse and chorus.

Behind Closed Doors

The instrumental is a little bit all over the place, but it does work when Lana details her ill-received romance to her lover, then jumps right in the chorus to eagerly tell him how much she enjoys sleeping with him.

Gangsta Boy

Lana is inspired by Betty Boop as she croons and gasps her way through the track. The vibe is great, though the music falls a bit, but Gangsta Boy is playful, light-hearted fun.

You’re Gonna Love Me

Lana may be raw in her vocals and basic in her instrumentals (only a guitar) but Lana takes control, self-assured she will make the listener adore her. Her confessional whisper that she might just want to be loved gives this song a knowing edge despite the pondering questions and realism-on-the-edge-of-pessimism feel tone.

Living Legend

Lana’s Living Legend was intended for Ultraviolence, and whilst the song fits in it is definitely one of her more slumbering songs. Yet her sentiment is strong, her lyrics thoughtful and thoroughly enjoyable. All of the versions bring something a bit different but it is underlined by great song-writing.

Hey You

Lana has fun greeting a potential lover with this track and I have as much fun listening to it. The chorus is sparse and repetitive but Hey You is all about grabbing your attention rather than going to deep.

Is It Wrong?

Claustrophobic and guided by a smart riff and technological glitches, Lana pulls off the perfect unhinged groupie as she questions whether or not she is wrong for wanting the star of her dreams so much. The glitching is great for really seeing how Lana teeters on the edge of sanity for this guy she can’t resist, going from being the starlet to the foaming-at-the-mouth fangirl.

Playground

Lana becomes a rapper apparently in Playground and hits back at anyone who doubts her and her music. With a cloying chorus that compares the music industry to a playground of bitchy comments and school yard, Lana’s verses are smooth and her references overall decent. It can be a little bit clunky in places but it doesn’t take itself too seriously.

Motel 6

A cute little dance track which namedrops Jim and her sister, Chuck, Lana brings the party to her favourite motel, downplaying her glamour to throwback her ‘lore’ and her old life pre-fame. Though it’s very much just describing one night rather than anything complex, it’s harmless fun.

Dynamite

Like the explosive dynamite itself, this song is punchy, restless and powerful. Lana layers this dominating track with innocent references to ice cream and pillow fights whilst also not holding back from the sexual references.

Afraid

Neat and mournful, Lana finally breaks off from her toxic partner. Lana is either sick of being worried for the future or terrified of her partner, and its reflective sadness as she plans to go back home still leaves hope that she will be able to be happy.

Wayamaya

Rolling calmly like a beach wave, Lana takes us straight to Hawaii and paints us an image of handsome surfers and Mercurys. Wayamaya is simply a soothing, short, cute little track that keeps very much surface level.

Hawaiian Tropic

Plinky music paired with non-stressful verses and imagery of Hawaiian shirts, this is the (in my opinion) better version of Every Man Gets His Wish (which shares the same chorus). The subtlety of this track compared to Every Man Gets His Wish helps to convey the hurt feelings a lot better, with the nostalgic feel and mournful longing in the vocals.

Dum Dum

Lana plays the alcoholic star who name drops Scarlett O’Hara and Bugsy Malone as part of her identity. These lyrics are pretty witty and the song snappy but, like some of her unreleased music, is a bit too overproduced and not cohesive. The verses and choruses don’t quite gel which doesn’t make for a song that flows well but with tweaking it could be even better.

Hollywood’s Dead

Lana fits perfectly into the era of fifties with this mid-20th century driven track. It sounds perfectly in place for the decade she frequently romanticises (with a modern twist) and Lana’s crooning, tearful references to her icons drips with glamour.

Fake Diamond

For an anti-romance song, Fake Diamond is quite upbeat. Lana complains of her ‘lover’ who is one way with her, a different way with others, whilst comparing their relationship to all manner of Lana-themed aesthetics (diamonds, movie projectors, etc.). Comparing herself to a child, she practically has a tantrum in the chorus, stamping her feet lovingly as she demands he loves her. I do think this song is joyful, making fun of her inattentive lover whilst keeping one step ahead of his games.

I Must Be Stupid

Lana’s live unreleased track lets Lana enjoy her life despite the hurt that surrounds it, showing strength in the face of heartbreak and other such topics in her music. It was performed post-Lust For Life, an era in which Lana embraced the light side rather than simply the dark.

Live Or Die

The version that is a little bit more lowkey and, in some ways, mature in that it matches a lot of her early albums sound is good but it’s not my favourite. There’s the heady, ultra-pop second version that has plenty more sexy references, a little meow (iconic) and an overall vibe of just having fun on the run. The former version is a bit more serious, but the second is – though less good in terms of production – full of soul.

Velvet Crowbar

Velvet Crowbar is a song that shows the dark side of fame and bad boys, namely the way they self-destruct to the point that their adoring lovers (already addicted to these gangstas of course) are falling with them. This song is a warning to these destructive souls that they aren’t invincible, and an equal warning to the people that love them that they might just fall apart and lose them. Lana puts her emotion across so well, with her stark lyrics, anxious guitars and growling third chorus. Even her more flowery imagery doesn’t cover up the overt fear that runs through this song.

Your Band Is All The Rage

Probably one of Lana’s saddest songs (which could be a great deal many since she knows how to tug heartstrings), Lana lets go of her rock star lover despite still loving him in this acoustic track. She makes soulful promises to be there when he needs him, her love lingering until he wants her back, and utilises the country music theme to her advantage.

1949

The studio version is my favourite but the charm of the original, acoustic demo is unmatched. Despite the controversial inspiration for this track, Lana puts us straight in the world of the 1950s, with American motels and Kmart. It has a note of sadness – perhaps because of the unfortunate tale of Lolita that much of this song seems based on – but it works as one of Lana’s aesthetically pleasing and classic tracks.

Because of You

The spoken intro is a little bit cringe but the song is lovely. Lana plays an immature brat who fell in love with a good man who essentially tamed her (a little bit questionable for some in 2021). It’s got some of her most flowery imagery and it details how her relationship bought out the best of her. The casual comments she throws in throughout the song give this a real bedtime story feel, though this song is anything but sleepy.

Resistance

Frustrated but fun, Lana’s catchy and upbeat Resistance brings to mind surfers and sunny days set in the noughties. Even though she’s furious with the guy who’s causing her so much trouble it still, for a change, stays perky and pleasant. A song that needs more attention, it’s the type of song that gets people singing and dancing along to it.

Dangerous Girl

With a rock-feeling patriotic opening, Lana launches into a track about her prowess as a dangerous girl, like a deranged beauty queen with a gangsta on her arm. It’s simply fun, complete with wolf-whistles and an impression of a siren.

#lana del rey #lana del rey songs #lana del rey unreleased #cherry-interlude

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feralphoenix · 4 years ago

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HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

sup hollow knight fandom, i’m back with the picante takes again after having Noticed A Thing.

as with my previous essays i’ll put this guy up on dreamwidth later for accessibility purposes, since my layout text may be too small for high-res pc users. i will attach that in a reblog at a later point.

CONTENT WARNINGS FOR TONIGHT’S PROGRAM: This essay discusses canon-typical body horror and bodily boundary violations, with some side mentions of colonialism.

all game screencaps are mine. the screencap of the wiki is from the “developer notes” (style guide) section of the “cut content” page.

ALSO: if youre from a christian cultural upbringing (whether currently practicing, agnostic/secular, or atheist now), understand that some of what i’m discussing here may challenge you. if thinking thru the implications of this particular part of hollow knight worldbuilding/lore is distressing for you, PLEASE only approach this essay when youre in a safe mindset & open to listening, and ask the help of a therapist or anti-racism teacher/mentor to help you process your thoughts & feelings. just like keep in mind that youre listening to an ethnoreligiously marginalized person and please be respectful here or wherever else youre discussing this dang essay, ty

HOWMST BELL THE CAT? - A treatise on one aspect of how the Pale King sealed the Radiance

We understand more or less how the Pale King’s plan was supposed to work. Stuff Radiance into a no-thoughts-head-empty and silent Pure Vessel to trap, isolate, and silence her, both putting an end to the Infection and killing her for good. Stick that vessel in the Black Egg, which harnesses Void BS to both keep the vessel alive indefinitely and to cover Hallownest (and its neighbors) in a time-defying stasis so that the Pale King could successfully hoard his favorite shiny FOREVER, threatened by nothing. Then put a seal on the Black Egg to prevent anyone from getting inside and harming said vessel while it’s strung up and helpless. And THEN, put protective seals on the anchors (the Dreamers) to the Black Egg seal to protect them from any external harm: The stasis means the Dreamers won't die of old age or starvation.

All in all, a pretty foolproof plan!

...except that the Dreamers are still vulnerable to having their minds breached with the moths’ magic... and the Pale King failed to take into account that his Pure Vessel was a person actually and the amount of toxic stress his training/upbringing put on them made them REALLY POORLY SUITED FOR THEIR JOB... and also that killing 99% of his million children and turning the Abyss into a landfill for baby corpses would take enough of an emotional toll on his wife and #1 enabler the White Lady that she would walk out on him, ensuring he’d only ever have one shot at this whole deal...

Basically it’s the sort of plan that an emotionally constipated, low-empathy sort of guy who pours all his points into INT and has a big fat zero for WIS might think is foolproof. It has big holes in it that the Pale King did not consider to be big holes until he got owned by the various consequences of his actions and fell down said big holes, making the shocked pikachu face all the while. Rip in die, my guy.

Anyway, there’s a lot of incidental information scattered about the game that gives us more insight into the stages of TPK’s plan. Looking at Monomon’s notes in the Archive suggests that she was probably involved in designing the Black Egg; the hidden room in the Weavers’ den points to their being the ones to blueprint the Dreamer seal; the White Palace’s hidden rooms reveal both TPK’s morbid fascination with the Void and his mea culpa wrt his motives and the Path of Pain is certainly suggestive of a lot of things. The White Lady tells us straight out that she walked out on the Pale King because she wanted no part in a second vessel batch, but how TPK didn’t handle that is only revealed via map design and some incidental dialogue from the Old Stag.

This stuff presents us with, if not a full picture, then at least a decent connect-the-dots of certain aspects of crater politics and Pale Court drama at the time, and how exactly TPK’s plan came together.

But there is still one glaring question that these cookie crumbs do not provide us an answer to:

Who shall bell the cat?

How did TPK et al manage to stuff Radiance into Hollow in the first place?

This is the subject of a lot of memes and jokes within the fandom because it's so absurd. Radiance fuckin hates that dude! She’s probably gonna be pretty wary of him considering how he stole her people in the first place! And considering the anti-colonialism slant of the writing - beyond the general sympathetic view Team Cherry gives of each indigenous bug society, Seer makes it very clear that Radiance has very good reason to take violent action against Hallownest - the answer is probably not something like “she’s just that stupid” or “she rolled a crit fail”.

Well... I have an idea of how TPK managed to get Radiance in there. It raises about as many questions as it answers, mind, but it may be someplace to start.

[desc: the hollow knight's entry in the hunter’s journal. top text/ghost’s comment reads: “Fully grown Vessel, carrying the plague’s heart within its body.” bottom text/hunter’s comment says: “The old King of Hallownest... he must have been desperate to save his crumbling little world. The sacrifices he imposed on others... all for nothing.”]

Here we have Hollow’s bestiary entry. Most of what we’re concerned with here is the top text, which says the seal has literally trapped Radiance inside their body. (First of all, ew, TPK.)

We already knew Radiance is literally actually inside Hollow, though: The Infection is leaking out of their body, and to get to fight Radiance, Ghost has to go traipsing into their sibling’s mind. So what’s significant about that here?

[desc: screencap of the outside of the black egg temple, post-infected crossroads. there are large infection blobs in the foreground and background, connected to each other by veins that come from inside the temple.]

The infection blobs are weird and get weirder if you kill enough Lightseeds for the Hunter to tell you their origin story, i.e. that the literal actual sun has been having a very long bad day and cried a lot, and some of the liquid coalesced into living flesh, and some of that living flesh took on a mind of its own to become Lightseeds. (Hollow Knight is a WILD place.)

Lightseeds are Radiance’s accidental children and share a lot of her traits: They are harmless creatures that try to avoid conflict if possible but if pushed will get creative and find ways to fight regardless of their physical limitations. (For the Lightseeds this involves hiding inside Broken Vessel’s corpse and puppeting it around to try to stab you.) They even have her same distinctive yell. And according to the Hunter, they’re born from the infection blobs. These enemies only ever appear in the Ancient Basin, which both Radiance and the Void have ransacked, and in the Infected Crossroads.

The infection blobs are connected to and sort of a weird extension of Radiance because the Infection itself is sort of a weird extension of Radiance. In the game’s internal style guide Team Cherry explains that the Infection started as an accident, not her original intention but what happened when Hallownest tried to block her out.

[desc: screencap from the wiki of style notes attached to seer that describe a sketch of radiance’s finalized backstory. text reads: “The moth tribe were (perhaps) descended from Radiance. However, the King convinced them somehow to seal Radiance away. I guess so he could rule Hallownest with his singular vision, as a god/monarch with no other gods. The moths sealed Radiance away by forgetting about her. Hallownest was born and flourished. However, the memory of Radiance lingered (eg [sic] the statue at hallownest’s crown) and soon she began to reappear in dreams and starting [sic] exerting influence. The King and the bugs of Hallownest resisted this memory/power and it started to manifest as the Infection. Thus the first attempt to seal Radiance failed, and the King had to try another method - the Vessel.” emphasis mine.]

Some fans have posited the blobs as deposits of pupa juice, but given Team Cherry's description of the Infection’s origins I don’t know how likely that is. Since the Void also sticks its squamous tentacles into things via veiny looking things and the Nightmare’s Heart has similar veiny nonsense in the Nightmare Realm, I wonder if it isn’t just a Meddly God Shit thing in general.

Whatever the case, the blobs are very much connected to/a part of Radiance.

And when you’re hanging around them, you will notice two things: They pulse like they’re part of a circulatory system, and you can hear Radiance's heartbeat emanating from them.

[desc: screencap of the game’s title screen with the infected menu theme in use: a glowing orange ball at the center of a lot of black tendony webbing.]

Let’s also think of the Infected menu theme, which you unlock after getting either of the endings where Ghost takes over from Hollow and absorbs Radiance out of them. Ghost is infected and then sealed inside the Black Egg in Hollow's place. It’s suggested by the animation’s staging that Radiance briefly struggles to get out of Ghost after absorbed but is ultimately stuck in them, at which point the seal is reestablished.

If you haven’t used the Infected menu theme yourself, the... interesting thing about it is that it moves organically. The light ball expands and contracts - y’know, sort of like a living organ - and so does the black webby stuff around it.

Also, Radiance’s heartbeat is included in the theme's ambiance.

[desc: hollow’s bestiary entry again]

To cut to the chase, this part of Hollow’s bestiary entry that says “the plague’s heart”? I don’t think that’s just Ghost/Team Cherry being poetic. I think there’s a good chance it’s LITERAL.

I think TPK is the sort of person who could cram a native woman’s literal living beating heart inside his own child’s body so they can use it as... say, a focus to absorb and trap her mind/spirit inside their body, too. Mr. No Cost Too Great is capable of a lot in the name of keeping other people’s claws off his Big Shiny kingdom. This is kind of his whole brand.

But also, like, yuck.

This fits the worldbuilding too; generally speaking Hollow Knight is Body Horror City. Also there’s the case of Grimm: While he and Radiance are loose counterparts at best with WILDLY disparate outlooks and ethoses, his existence serves as precedent that a Higher Being’s heart specifically can be separate from the rest of them.

As I said before, though, this DOES raise as many questions as it answers. If this is another piece in the puzzle of how TPK belled the cat, we’re now left wondering how he got Radiance’s heart to use as Hollow's focus to begin with.

We know he has access to the Dream Realm because that’s ultimately where he hid when Hollow’s seal failed, but who did he send to do the stealing and how did they get away with it? (TPK certainly wouldn’t have gone; his own life’s the one cost too great for him to willingly pay.) Was Radiance’s heart separate from her like the Nightmare’s Heart, or was it a part of her body? (I think the latter is more likely just from her personality; Grimm’s hidden heart makes sense because of how he keeps even his own servants at arm’s length emotionally, whereas Radiance is all heart all the time. I think this makes more sense with their equal opposites schtick too. But this would make for a WAY riskier mission.)

I can imagine all kinds of possibilities. None of them are definitive, but the thing they have in common is that they are all Awful... and how on-brand that is for Hollow Knight as a whole is, maybe, the most persuasive argument for It’s Literally Actually Her Real Physical Heart there could be.

#hollow knight #hollow knight spoilers #hollow knight meta #the radiance #hk radiance #not sure if i should tag tpk bc i doubt therell be anything in here his stans will enjoy lol #long post under cut -#essay

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translations-by-aiimee · 3 years ago

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Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 17

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 17 - Provocative

All the lights in the auditorium dimmed, and the large powerpoint projection on the screen let out a bright glow. If audience had been excited about Tang Yin's painting, then they were ecstatic with the next item, or maybe they were just in shock. The image on the screen was a Song Dynasty Ge-ware bamboo incense burner. The whole piece was coated in a light green glaze. The iconic Ge-ware-style sharp cracks and dark lines stretched over the body of the burner. Its slim shape was truly elegant.

PSP guy's eyes subconsciously lit up, and his slumped posture suddenly straightened. This was a very pricey item. If it was genuine, a seven-figure auction price would be a generous estimate.

Lin Yan couldn't help getting excited, but Xiao Yu seemed completely uninterested. He put his fingers on the top of his back and snuck them underneath his collar. He stroked his collarbone with cold fingertips and leaned over and hugged him. He kissed the side of his face unscrupulously. Lin Yan couldn't pull his hand away. He felt so anxious and angry, quietly thinking about what the two thousand people in the audience would think. He begged that no one in the audience could see the ghost behind him. If anyone could see him. . . even jumping into the Yellow River couldn't wash off his shame.

He wasn't sure why, but the intimacy of this clingy ghost happening now wasn't as disgusting as it was when the events started. Lin Yan blushed. He knew that this ghost’s temper, and that whenever he resisted, the torment would never end. However, the constant comfort could always calm him down. As the saying goes, "Whosoever understands current events is a great man." Lin Yan grabbed Xiao Yu's hand and tugged gently.

The cold hand touched his face, then dropped back to his shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

Professor File Folder pushed up his glasses. He took out a safe from under the desk, twisted the combination lock, and took out the bamboo incense burner that was in the photo with both hands and placed it on the mahogany desk frame. A white spotlight shone down on it, and you could hear a pin drop in the auditorium. The silence audience cast their gaze onto the piece on the desk. The fine light green porcelain was covered in sharp cracks, and the shape of it was simple but not amateur. The white light covered all corners of the burner, giving the eye-catching piece a frosty aura.

This was the charm of antiques. Life goes on. Time passes. The people have long since died but the artifacts will forever remain. They are passed down through generations of people with money holding strong and unmoved throughout the years.

This was definitely the final piece, Lin Yan thought. The professor motioned him and the PSP guy to come up and take a closer look. Lin Yan tilted the incense burner and looked closely at the bottom. Experts look at porcelain and examine the exposed portions before estimating its age. If there wasn't any issues, then the authenticity of the piece could be determined almost immediately. However, when the precious incense burner was turned over, Lin Yan couldn't help but let out a gasp. PSP guy was also taken aback. After pondering, his expression eventually revealed what he was thinking.

PSP guy's reaction convinced Lin Yan that today was definitely going to be a tie. Just as he was about to put the incense burner back, the glazed pattern suddenly caught his attention. Something seemed off, Lin Yan hesitated. He picked up the incense burner to check it again and frowned.

"Why are you so slow every time? Do you need someone to do it for you?" After the PSP man finished writing the answer, he took out a stick of gum and stuffed it into his mouth, chewing indifferently while looking at Lin Yan.

Lin Yan didn't bother paying attention to him. He was able to determine the age at a glance, and there was no problem with the glaze color and the crack patterns. This thing was almost a perfect fake of Song Dynasty Ge-ware. . . But it was being handled by the professor personally. . . It was almost impossible to make a guess.

"... What do you think?" Lin Yan asked for Xiao Yu's opinion softly. Xiao Yu didn't say anything, but the expression in his eyes seemed encouraging. He wasn't sure why, but being watched by those eyes, Lin Yan suddenly had a little bit of confidence in his guess and even changed what he was originally going to answer. Xiao Yu held his wrist and nodded very lightly.

So be it, Lin Yan thought.

"Students, please reveal your answers." The red jacket skirt girl announced.

The two whiteboards turned around at the same time. Each had the same answer again: fake.

Professor File Folder nodded approvingly, and said: "It looks like we have a playoff today. Both are correct. This is indeed a fake." He turned to face the PSP guy. "I won't explain it this time. Instead, this classmate will explain."

The PSP man took the mic, and the sound of chewing gum echoed through the loudspeaker. Lin Yan cringed. PSP guy didn't care at all, and said casually, "In the Ming Dynasty Chenghua period, there were lots of imitations of Song Dynasty kiln porcelains. It's in good condition and valued at 3 to 5 million yuan."

Lin Yan's brow furrowed even more.

Professor Folder was very satisfied. He doesn't even care about the bs that the PSP guy just spewed. He nodded and smiled: "That's right, these students can make these conclusions in such a short amount of time. They have good eyes. They both have a future in this field."

After speaking, he clapped his hands together, turned to the audience and said with vigour: "This is indeed not a Song Ge-ware incense burner, but a Ming imitation. There are very few imitations of Ge-ware works made during the Chenghua period of the Ming Dynasty left. This is only a representation of the Palace Museum, which has extremely high historical value. It's said that this school has excellent students. I didn't believe it before I saw it today. It was worth the trip, haha, definitely worth it."

"I have decided to make a special case for these two, and give each of them a prize."

Lin Yan looked at Xiao Yu hesitantly. The latter pushed his shoulders forward, as if urging him on. Lin Yan gritted his teeth, turned his head and said to the PSP man: "No, you're wrong."

The sound of chewing gum suddenly stopped, and the PSP guy stared at him. "Excuse me?"

Lin Yan took mic from the host and stuttered: "This-this is indeed an imitation, no one is arguing that, but it's modern. Even with the exquisite craftsmanship, it probably wouldn't sell for more than a 200 yuan decoration piece."

As soon as he fell silent, the audience was in an uproar, and some even leaned on the back of the chairs in front of them as if they were ashamed. The PSP guy snorted to express his disdain, and squinted at Lin Yan. "You're kidding, right? You can't see the obvious Ming Chenghua Ge-ware piece. I've been studying this for so many years." After that, he switched off his PSP and curled his lips: "It's time to go back class and educate yourself."

If it weren’t for Lin Yan’s calm composure, he would've rushed over and punched him. His anger of being humiliated in public made him clench his fists, but Xiao Yu must've known what he was thinking and held his shoulders with both hands to prevent him from acting on it.

There was a sneer across the auditorium. Someone called out for him to get off the stage. Lin Yan's heartbeat quickened. The building energy of the audience made him a little panicked. He looked at Professor File Folder like he wanted confirmation.

File Folder was embarrassed. To be honest, he personally identified this bamboo incense burner before it went into the Palace Museum exhibit. There was no debate about its authenticity. The purpose of bringing it to these events was not to re-appraise it, but only to serve as a typical example to teach students about the identification and collection of Ming imitations.

"It seems that this classmate is not very good at porcelain appreciation. Let me explain. When judging the age of porcelain artifacts, we must first look at the appearance of its base. This one has obvious characteristics of Ming Ge-ware, but it's an imitation of Song porcelain. Such things are called antiques in modern times, but at the time they were made, they were fakes. . ." File Folder gestured at Lin Yan that he could leave the stage. The corner of his mouth lifted, showing why young people should really take care of their skin.

Lin Yan was at a loss. He squeezed the armrest of the chair. He was so overwhelmed by File Folder's reputation as a leading porcelain expert that he didn't dare speak up. In all fairness, he didn't belong with a group of talented professionals. This time, he just happened to see a small contradiction and blatantly tried to argue with an expert. Lin Yan glanced at the darkened audience under the stage, and his stomach rolled.

A chill covered the back of his hand, another hand wrapping around his own. Xiao Yu stood beside him and tilted his head to look at him. There was no aggression, his eyes calm and serious. As if there was a steady stream of energy coming from the cold palms, Lin Yan felt funny. There were more than 2,000 pairs of eyes, yet only one ghost could see the truth. There were more than 2,000 living people, yet only one ghost was willing to listen to what he had to say. Xiao Yu's lips touched Lin Yan's cheek very lightly, motioning him to look at the incense burner in the center of the stage, and gently shook his head.

Under the dazzling spotlight, the fine porcelain's green glaze sparkled, and the cracked patterns were delicate and elegant. It was really beautiful. Lin Yan thought: The imitation was preserved because of its beauty, but the reality was left in the dark because of its cruel truth, turning into a coffin with decomposing bones.

"Go." Xiao Yu pressed his knees and said with great effort, ". . . Trust me."

Lin Yan took a deep breath, looked at Xiao Yu and nodded.

There was really only one way he could prove that this was really a modern fake. He walked around behind the square table and strode towards the piece on the stage. Before anyone had a chance to react, Lin Yan picked up the incense burner and smashed it on the ground without a second thought. There was a crisp sound. The million-dollar-priced treasure was broken into dozens of pieces and scattered on the ground. The PSP guy was stunned. The professor couldn't form a coherent sentence. The jeers from the audience stopped and the whole auditorium was silent.

Youth could be wild and energetic, but also incredibly stupid. Lin Yan stood stubbornly amidst the broken porcelain. Professor File Folder suddenly lost his composure. He leapt over and shoved Lin Yan's shoulder, his mouth opening and closing, unsure of what words to even say. The commotion from the audience grew louder and louder, as if being fueled by a storm.

Lin Yan broke away from the professor. He squatted down and picked up one of the shards off the floor, selecting a piece of the base of the incense burner. He pointed out the incline of the fracture, stuffed the shard into the professor's hands, and said softly but clearly: "It's a modern fake. It's a shame to put it in the Palace Museum."

File Folder let out a distressed noise, his face flushed. Anyone who really loves antiques knows that compared to the high price of an antique, the historical value it carries was a truly priceless treasure. Everyone was waiting to see the professor lose his mind. However, even though he was furious, he suddenly raised his head and looked at Lin Yan in disbelief, and then stared at the broken porcelain piece. His stubby fingers rubbed the porcelain piece back and forth. He trembled: " How. . . how could you tell?"

The professor spoke very quietly, but the mic on his collar picked it up, and the sentence echoed across the auditorium.

Hearing this question, PSP guy also picked up a piece of debris from the ground and looked at it over. When he raised his head again, the expression on his face looked like he had just eaten shit.

"Uh. . ." There were several things he wanted to say but they were all caught in his throat. Lin Yan has this problem. No matter what the situation, he never has any trouble when he speaks to a friend, but when he is alone in a large group arguing with others, he often freezes up because he lacked self-confidence.

Xiao Yu held Lin Yan, fingers tightly interlocked with his, standing side by side. His whole body was also cold like a piece of porcelain. After a while, he slowly calmed down, and cold lips gently tapped the side of Lin Yan's mouth.

He. . . was on his side. This thought made Lin Yan relax a little. After taking a few deep breaths to straighten out his thoughts, he explained: "Because of the temperature of the kiln, no matter how accurate the imitation of Ming Ge-ware porcelain is, there is still a slight difference in the direction of the cracks in the glaze of Ge-ware porcelain. The glazed surface of this incense burner has the characteristics of the Song Dynasty, but the exposed base has the characteristics of the Ming Dynasty. There is only one possibility for two eras of craftsmanship to appear on one piece; that is, contemporary counterfeit.” After finishing speaking, he added: “These kinds of frauds only started appearing within the past two years. I. . . I also took a gamble. I didn't think I'd be right."

The professor stared at him blankly, and hissed through his teeth: "You. . . you took a gamble? What if you were wrong? What if you made a mistake!" He tapped his feet twice, and finally gave up. He slapped the surface of the desk and said in a deep voice to the audience: "The students here are truly amazing."

After thirty seconds of silence, the audience burst into thunderous applause.

Lin Yan scratched his hair. He looked at Xiao Yu embarrassedly, and said softly, "We won."

He swore that this was the first time in his life that he has seen this ghost showing the expression of an ordinary person, looking very proud. Xiao Yu gently hugged him from behind, his long hair rubbing against his face. Lin Yan didn't avoid it. He was a little grateful for this ghost, even a little dependent on him. His palms were soaked in a cold sweat. Lin Yan gave Xiao Yu a sideways glance and rubbed his wet palms on his clothes.

Professor File Folder took a sip of water. He took out a pen and memo from his book bag, and looked at Lin Yan with interest: "Classmate, what's your name? Come to me when the lecture is over and I'll engrave it for you."

Lin Yan took two steps towards the professor and decided on what he wanted engraved.

"Xiao Yu. "Xiao" written as the character for "dejected", "Yu" written as the character for "sweet smelling"." Lin Yan explained. . .

The professor's smile dropped immediately, and his face changed in an instant.

#dig a grave to dig out a ghost #dig a grave to dig out a ghost translation #chinese bl #chinese novel #danmei #danmei novel #yaoi novel #yaoi #english translation

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lady-divine-writes · 4 years ago

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Kurtbastian one-shot - “Laundry Day” (Rate PG13)

Summary: Kurt and Sebastian negotiate the delegation of chores, starting with the laundry. (763 words)

Notes: So I am taking one-shots from my big collection of one-shots and revising them. I was re-reading a lot of them and felt that the characterizations were wrong or that their interactions were just plain annoying. I will be leaving the originals in the collection. These will be revised enough to be considered new.

Read on AO3.

"Come on, come on, come on, come on," Sebastian chants, tapping his toe as his insufferable boyfriend sorts through his clothes. He shifts the basket of dirty laundry from his left hip to his right, highlighting his impatience. “Just give me your shit so I can do the laundry!"

"What's the rush?" Kurt mutters, hand beneath his chin as he considers the fate of his slacks.

"We have reservations in a couple of hours!”

Kurt scoffs. "They're at eight! It's only two!"

"Yeah, but at the rate you're moving, I won't get a load in until close to midnight!"

Kurt shakes his head, separating a pile of clothes into numerous smaller piles on the bed. “Patience is a virtue.”

“Ugh!” Sebastian scans the battlefield of Kurt's garments, trying to determine for himself which ones are in need of a wash and which are clean.

The fact that he can't tell off the bat both intrigues and terrifies him.

He spots a promising-looking pile of t-shirts that have been neglected for more than ten minutes and decides to help out, loading them into the basket so he can get things moving. Kurt’s head snaps in the direction of movement, eyes wide with horror.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he screeches, grabbing Sebastian’s wrist to stop the assault.

“I’m trying to get the ball rolling before my clothes go out of style,” Sebastian gripes, watching with despair as Kurt rescues the shirts Sebastian had managed to toss into the basket back out again.

“Too late,” Kurt grumbles, laying the shirts back on the bed.

Sebastian raises a foot and kicks Kurt lightly on the ass, but Kurt catches himself before he can fly forward.

“They’re just t-shirts, Kurt! Give them to me so I can start the wash!”

“These aren’t just t-shirts. And they need to be handled properly or else they’ll fade.”

Sebastian rolls his eyes. He knows that 'high-maintenance' isn't actually a thing, but if it was, its name would be Kurt Hummel. “Okay, well, what about those?” he asks, pointing to a mountain of jeans. Kurt shakes his head and tuts his tongue, refusing to dignify that question with a response.

Sebastian drops his head and sighs. “How on Earth do you do your laundry if nothing can go into the machine?”

“I steam a lot of them, wash some by hand... "

"I am not washing anything by hand," Sebastian grunts.

"Uncultured swine," Kurt shoots back.

"Why did you ever agree to let me be in charge of the laundry when you moved in?"

"Because I assumed that someone with your net worth would opt to simply dry clean everything, and I was fully on board with that."

“Dry clean?” Sebastian chokes. “I may be a trust fund baby, but I also know not to waste money on something when I can do it myself. If everything you own needs to be dry cleaned, we might as well go out and buy you a whole new wardrobe. It’d probably be cheaper.”

Kurt stops mid-sort, dropping the sweater he's holding back with its companions. “You know, you’re right." He turns to Sebastian, eyes twinkling, mouth curled into a mischievous grin. “Dry cleaning all of this is going to be really expensive.”

"I'm... glad you see things my way," Sebastian says, dubious that this is an actual win. But with Kurt wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s waist, running his hands down his back and over his ass, Sebastian isn't sure he cares all that much. He moans as Kurt’s hands venture around to the front of his jeans; closes his eyes and grips the laundry basket tighter when Kurt’s hands dip into his pockets, brushing against his rapidly hardening cock.

But without warning, Kurt’s hands disappear.

Sebastian opens his eyes as Kurt pulls away, walking to the closet and grabbing his coat.

“W-wait?” Sebastian stutters in confusion. “Where are you going?”

“You do your laundry your way. I’ll do my laundry mine.” Kurt blows Sebastian a kiss. “I’m off to the mall. See you in a few.”

Sebastian watches Kurt leave, more than a little perplexed by the sudden switch in gears. And the mall? How in the world is Kurt going to do his laundry at the mall?

A thought crosses his mind - shoots through like an arrow and spins his brain around. He drops the laundry basket and searches his pockets, snickering when he realizes what his boyfriend has done.

Of course, Sebastian gave him the idea, so he can't be too mad, but still.

His wallet is gone.

#kurtbastian #domestic kurtbastian #sebkurt #sekurt

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toenialls · 4 years ago

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hi ! here’s a fic rec i made bc what better time to read fics than a quarantine. i’ve ordered them below from longest to shortest. :)

these are all the fics i’ve read/re-read this quarantine

hiding place by alivingfire @alivingfire (365k)

louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. enter harry styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. with one fateful meeting in a x factor bathroom, louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

from the x factor house to madison square garden, from the fountain studios stage to stadiums across the world, louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace louis as the center of his universe. meanwhile, harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. all he has to do now is convince louis to give them a chance.

or, the canon compliant harry and louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

relief next to me by dolce_piccante @haydolce (333k)

au- what happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific craigslist post? fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

young & beautiful by velvetoscar @mizzwilde (227k)

louis, to his horror, attends an elitist university in which the name zayn malik means something, niall horan doesn’t stop talking, there are pianos everywhere, and harry styles, only son o a drug-addled, clinically insane ex-rocker, has a perfect smile and empty eyes

now in a minute by thealmightyavocado @avocadolouie (150k)

13 feels like yesterday for many people, but for louis it actually was.more than anything in the world, louis tomlinson dreams of growing up. simply skipping over all the awkward embarrassing years of teenage existence and getting on with life, real life.

so when thirteen-year-old louis wakes up in the body of his thirty-year-old self, he expected his adult life to be picture perfect. and maybe it is. he has it all…or so it seems.

except his favorite person and lifelong best mate, harry styles, is totally missing from the equation and louis doesn’t understand why. he has a lot of catching up to do and as adult life turns out to be more than what he bargained for, louis can’t help wondering why a life that seemed so perfect, feel so empty.

or, the 13 going on 30 au that should have been done years ago.

walk that mile by purpledaisy (149k)

harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “i wanted to get the most out of this trip so i planned it carefully.” his voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “so far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything i’ve tried to do.”

"sticky fingers?“ louis repeats. offended. “are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the dotty diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

"polk-a-dot drive in,“ harry spits before getting out of the car. he slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and louis rolls his eyes.

or, a route 66 au where falling in love was never part of the plan.

own the scars by crinkle-eyed-boo @crinkle-eyed-boo (144k)

“but i don’t belong here,” louis insists.

"why do you say that?“ james asks.

"these people are all drug addicts and alcoholics,” louis shrugs. something sparks in james’ eyes. “and you’re not?”

louis has never felt like he was good enough: for his stepdad, for his life-long best friends, for the life he’s supposed to want. after an accident that nearly costs him his life, louis’ parents send him to rehab where he’s forced to make his own decisions. on the long and difficult road to recovery, louis must confront the truths he;s been avoiding about his future, his relationships, and his sense of self-worth. because before he can love anyone else, he’s got to learn how to love himself first.

wear it like a crown by zarah5 @zarahdetand (141k)

au- as a part of a team of fixers hired to handle a gay scandal in buckingham palace, louis expects prince harry to be a lot of things – most notable a royally spoilt brat. never mind that the very same prince harry used to star in quite a number of louis’ teenage fantasies.

unbelievers by isthatyoularry @isthatyoularry (136k)

it’s louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. however, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifying uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life that much worse. mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan.

or, the one where louis and harry definitely aren’t friends, and football is everything

empty skies by green_feelings (134k)

for three years, harry has been running from his past. now, he is moving to london and pledges to fulfill only his dream – making it big in the music industry. not everyone has a place, though, and the competition is tough. as is his past catching up to him.

louis is part of the biggest boy band of the world, and getting there meant a lo to hard work, as well as sacrificing parts of his heart and soul. he’s still happy. maybe not as happy as he could be, but who is he to complain?

featuring perrie as harry’s adorable flatmate, niall as his manager, and liam and zayn as louis’ bandmates.

love is a rebellious bird by 100precentsassy @100percentsassy gloria_andrews @gloriaandrews (134k)

au. in which the boys still make music. louis is the concertmaster of the london symphony orchestra, harry is the new! and exciting! interim conductor / ex-cello prodigy who “has made mozart cool again” according to esquire magazine (louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and niall is the best. zayn and liam are around too.

don’t hum Bolero

wild love by purpledaisy (130k)

“good,” julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “now, i only have one more question before you can go. what are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?“

"we said we’d stay friends no matter what,” harry says smoothly his chin lifting in defense.

"that was our one thing going into it,“ louis agrees. “stay friends no matter what.”

julia raises a perfectly manicured eyebrow, “that’s all fine and good. but i hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. if one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. i’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, i’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

or, two friends try to date each other for forty days. it’s supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated

got the sunshine on my shoulders by hattalove @hattalove (124k)

five years ago, harry styles left his tiny home town to make it big as a recording artist, he didn’t have much regard for what he left behind– a life, a family, a husband, who woke up one morning to find him gone.

now, harry has everything he could possibly want. he’s rich, famous, and adored by everyone he meets, including his boyfriend. but when said boyfriend proposes to him, he’s forced to face the uncomfortable facts of his past– and louis, who’s spent the last five years returning every set of divorce papers harry sent him.

or, au based on the movie sweet home alabama.

california sold by isthatyoularry (123k)

notoriously closeted boyband member harry styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile louis, as his best friend, is back home in manchester living the typical life of a 24 year old. when harry needs louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

or, a fake-relationship au between two lifelong best friends.

the finish line (is a good place for us to start) by loadedgunn @loaded-gunn (122k)

louis tomlinson, one-time formula i world champion, is looking forward to the 2013 season, he’s got zayn in his garage and liam in his ear, he’s got cowell racing backing him despite former indiscretions, he’s got experience and the best race car out there. not to mention he’s the only racer they have, after oliver dropped out late last year.

it hasn’t occured to him that oliver would have to be replaced by february. that is, until he finds himself at a party celebrating harry styles leaving ferarri for cowell. harry hotshot styles, who broke a record last year and is probably looking to make a big splash. harry styles, who is talented and somewhat intimidating. harry styles, who left ferarri for reasons unknown and seems kind of lonely and harmless in person. lonely, harmless, hot as fuck. whatever.

the first thing louis does is take him under his wing. from there it’s nine months of slow-burning romance, the past catching up to them, turning into the human puppy pile that is ot5 and a lot of feelings until, of course, reaching the finish line.

tired tired sea by mediawhore @mediawhorefics (113k)

as a b&b owner on the most remote of all the british isles, louis tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sol companions. until one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

here in the afterglow by fondleeds @fondleeds (88k)

"if you hadn’t noticed, i don’t have many friends,” louis whispers, the blossom of insecurity in his stomach unfurling and clawing his way into his throat.

harry is silent for a long time, and then he speaks; a soft, slow uncurl that makes louis’ stomach shake. “i’ll be your friend.”

or, 1970’s au. in a tiny town in idaho, louis’ life changed forever by the arrival of a curious stranger.

chasing empty spaces by domesticharry @domestic-harry (79k)

the year is 1934 and harry styles was to inherit the largest tobacco firm in the south. his parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. the problem was, harry hadn’t realized that he didn’t want nay part of the future until he met a mechanic named, louis tomlinson.

don’t want shelter by kingsofeverything @kingsofeverything (76k)

louis and harry have known each other all their lives. friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. except for that one time ten years ago...

when hurricane nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

during the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other

money moves by mmaree @zqua1d (74k)

"i’ll cut straight to the chase,“ liam announces. he leans forward, and zayn is met with steely eyes and steepled fingers. "i’m willing to offer you fifty grand if you’ll enter into a small…partnership with me. this would be in addition to your salary at payne innovations, of course. think of it as a bonus.”

zayn narrow his eyes. “what kind of partnership?”

"a fake engagement.“

"oh,” zayn says, relived it’s nothing illegal. “wait–what?”

“a fake engagement,” his boss repeats slowly, as if he’s convinced zayn’s comprehension skills are significantly lacking. “for six months. maybe less if i can pull it off sooner but don’t worry– you’ll be paid the full sum regardless of how long it takes.”

zayn’s suspicious, and he doesn’t even know why. there’s nothing to be suspicious of because, clearly, liam’s lost the plot. zayn’s having a conversation with a complete nutter. there’s no other reasonable explanation.

he clears his throat, searches liam’s eyes for a sign he’s taking the piss. “how long what takes?”

a smile plays at liam’s lips. “for me to be hired as the cto at titan technologies.”

to the ends of the earth by stylinsoncity @aliensingucci (68k)

during a yearlong hiatus, louis visits harry at his cabin in idaho, where long-buried feelings ignite like the fire keeping them warm.

lend me your hand by quickedween (63k)

society has long since decided that the soulmarks everyone is born with are entirely unfashionable. they’re just another way for people of a lower class to scam their way into marrying above their station.

lord louis tomlinson viscount loring, on the other hand, has always believed that he will find his soulmate one day. despite preparing for a match his whole life, he is entirely unprepared for the arrival of gemma styles’ younger brother.

harry styles has been travelling and away from society for over a year. coming back, he intends to spend time with his sister, and slowly reacquaint himself with life in town. he doesn’t need to wait around for a soulmark to determine how his life will play out.

small doses (loving you it’s explosive) by quickedween (40k)

louis tomlinson finds himself at vitality fitness to try and turn his life around after having left his cheating boyfriends of four years. the gym’s owner, liam, quickly becomes a good friend but his right hand man is rude and dismissive from the get-go.

louis and harry continue to clash all while harry is trying to move his way up the ranks in manchester’s amateur boxing circuit, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other.

learning to eat by photo41 (28k)

celebrity chef louis tomlinson has a problem, he’s opening his first restaurant in 9 week . and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s “standoffish” and “rude” and “quick to temper” . whatever. he ends u saddled with an annoying, happy-go-lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. his tv presenter and pop star friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting julia child?!

these roads we stumble down by onewasturning @onewasturning (18k)

he’s completely drenched, not one milimetre of him covered in rain, and the old sheepskin cover over the seat is probably going to stink afterwards from the damp. but even with what seems to be a constant tremor shaking his body, brown hair plastered to his forehead, and a blue tinge to his skin, he’s still probably the most gorgeous person that harry has ever seen.

or, harry picks up a hitchhiker in oxford, and it’s a long ride to glasgow.

#this took an embarassing amount of time and its not even all of them #anyways hope this was useful to someone !#also i am allergic to capital letters muah #fic rec #mine

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thebmatt · 3 years ago

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FFXIV Write 2021 prompt #21: Feckless

Feckless – lacking initiative or strength of character; irresponsible.

Since confessing to her how she had felt about her daughter all those years, ago, F’lhaminn had insisted that Fearless have a meal with her at least one time a week, unless she had world-saving that she couldn’t get away from. Aside from their exile to Ishgard, where F’lhaminn herself had to flee to Radz-at-Han, the pair hadn’t missed one yet.

F’lhaminn often told stories of Minfilia growing up or of her own exploits as a younger woman. Fearless passed on stories of the sights she saw in the far east or crazy tales of living with two girlfriends. F’lhaminn loved those, happy to laugh at the trio’s exploits or give advice when they encountered problems.

Today the pair were sharing a meal over the cafe’s Doman specialities. Fearless had been curious to see just how good Raulf had gotten with his wife’s traditional dishes, mostly to see how well Makoto would enjoy herself if Fearless would ever be able to bring her here.

Her first taste of the ramen had convinced her that he had gotten really good.

She was just about the comment on it to F’lhaminn when a Lalafell approached their table. “Feckless Willow?”

The two women shared a look, then Fearless turned to angrily address him. “It’s Fearless. Now what do you want?”

“Oh, Twelve, I’m so sorry! The writing on this envelope is atrocious, I honestly could not tell what the name said! I meant no offense, I swear!”

Fearless sighed. “It’s fine. You have something for me?”

“Yes, ma’am. Please sign here.” He handed her a clipboard. Fearless looked it over, but she only grasped a few phrases such as “signee agrees that parcel was delivered intact” and the like before she wrote her name on the line indicated.

She handed it back to him. “Excellent, ma’am, thank you very much. And here you are!”

He passed a thick envelope to her. She frowned. “Why have someone deliver this to me? Don’t most people rely on the Moogle Post?”

The Lalafell smiled proudly. “Afraid the Moogle Post hasn’t quite caught on in Aerslant, ma’am. People over there still trust Mariner Couriers to handle their mail and deliveries! After all, moogles are known to get distracted occasionally, not to mention become prey for any number of vicious predators! Wouldn’t you rather trust a professional?”

His beaming expression was met with expressions of distaste from the two women, but he either didn’t notice or didn’t care as he spun smartly on his heels and walked off.

Fearless turned to look at the envelope, inwardly sighing. Aerslant doubtless meant her parents. She’d thought that chapter of her life was over when Rheika had stopped their final attempt to bring her home against her will. What the hells did they want now?

“Are you going to see what it is?: F’lhaminn asked.

“I don’t know if I really want to. It’s probably from my parents” Fearless replied.

F’lhaminn looked at her with a mixture of concern and curiosity. “You…haven’t spoken of them. Not with me, at least. Unless I’m not recalling it?”

Fearless shook her head. “No, I prefer talking about good things with you. They…are very much not.” She tore open the envelope. Inside was a literal ream of parchment, all bearing very official looking printing, except the top sheet, which was handwritten in her father’s very blocky, no nonsense writing style.

To: Ms. Syhrwyda Ahldblaetwyn aka ‘Fearless Willow’ Re: Rights of Inheritance and Succession

This letter is to inform you that, per your wishes, as expressed via one Rheika Aliapoh, your status as legal inheritor of the Lost Mountain Shipping Company and of the personal fortunes of its owners, Master Ahldblaet Fyrilberksyn and Lady Usynwyda Holaszirnwyn has been rescinded.

Attached is a copy of the paperwork that has been filed with all relevant government bodies.

Signed, Ahldblaet Fyrilberksyn

Fearless reads it then wordlessly hands it off to F’lhaminn. She reads through it, then looks up to Fearless in horror. “What…what happened, Fearless?”

Fearless tells her the full story. How her parents showed her nothing in the way of love, unless she met their exacting, strict standards. How they’d removed her from school far too early and into an apprenticeship with her father. How when she’d failed to meet his even more exacting standards over his business within mere weeks of the new arrangement, he’d declared her useless. How her mother had forced her in etiquette c lasses following that debacle, intending only to marry her off so that the company could pass to a son they would trust to lead the company when they could no longer do so.

She’d kept her head down for most of it. When she finally was able to look up, she saw something she’d never witnessed before.

F’lhaminn was furious.

“That is….I just….Oh, my GODS what a horrible pair of fools! How…how does someone value a living person they created so little as to not care about them beyond what they can do for you? Useless? USELESS? Literally, look at what you have accomplished with the love and support of your friends! And….and they not only can’t be bothered to be proud of you, they don’t even believe it? I…I’m sorry, Fearless, but your parents are absolutely the worst. You don’t deserve what they’ve done to you, and they don’t deserve the brilliant, compassionate, and stalwart daughter they were given.”

Fearless smiles, eyes watered. “T-thank you, Lhaminn. That means a great deal, coming from you.”

The pair hugged. When Fearless did finally let go, she wiped a tear from her eye that had managed to escape. “You know, it’s rather funny, but my mom was quite the admirer of yours. You were popular even that far from Ul’dah, and her friends were all devotees of your songs, so of course she had to be. My father considered your music…frivolous, I think he said, but he couldn’t ever deny mother anything, so all of your orchestrion rolls eventually made their way into our home.”

*”Is that so?” Lhaminn’s face smiled into an evil grin

“And you’re certain of the identity of the sender, creature?”

“Absolutely, kupo! Any moogle worth his pom that’s worked in and around Ul’dah would know the Songstress by sight, and I have for a good number of years! It was definitely her that gave me this letter and bade me make the journey to you, kupo.”

Ahldblaet looked at the letter. A missive from this Songstress of Ul’dah his wife was always raving about. Well, used to, he supposed. She’d retired some time ago, and while she was still somewhat popular, other, newer performers had come to occupy most of the conversations of the social elite. Still, this should make her happy. “Thank you, moogle. Now begone before you shed on my floor or something.”

“How rude! Very well, a good day to you!” With a huff, the moogle activated a teleportation spell and then winked out of sight.

“Wife! We’ve a letter!” he called

His wife, Usynwyda, soon joined him in his office. “Who is it from?”

He simply handed her the sealed envelope. She gasped “The Songstress herself?? What….whatever could this be? Oh, perhaps she is touring again and has given us a personal invitation? Or maybe we are to be her guests at a formal dinner?”

He nodded. Certainly it would be something of that nature, they were quite important people after all. “Well, go on then. Open it and let us find out!”

She opened the envelope and began reading. Her gleeful expression soon turned to shock, then slid into horror as she made her way through the letter’s contents. She dropped the letter and fled the room, screeching in abject horror.

Perplexed, Ahldblaet picked up the letter and began reading.

To Ahldblaet Fyrilberksyn and Usynwyda Holaszirnwyn,

It has come to my attention that the pair of you are great admirers of my performances. I was thus inspired to pen you this missive to express my feelings on your contributions to the world.

Unfortunately, I am but a well trained vocalist, and have little knowledge on the worlds of business or cargo shipping, so I feel I am unqualified to speak on your successes there. However, there is a challenge that all of us have undertaken that I can speak on, that of parenthood. While I have given birth to no children of my own, I did adopt and raise an orphaned young woman to adulthood to become a brilliant woman determined to see the threats to our star defeated and it’s people saved.

You, on the other hand, have a daughter who has become equally brilliant and determined in spite of your parental failures.

I cannot even begin to comprehend how someone can look at a child that they created and brought into this world and see her as you have seen yours. I have heard the tales of your lack of warmth, of caring for this girl. How you derided her as worthless, useless, in the face of a single failure, regardless of its nature. How you wielded her like she was mere property for any chance it would increase your own profits.

Is it any wonder, then, that the moment she fled your presence, she blossomed? That she has become a hero to people not only across Eorzea, but the far eastern lands of Othard and Hingashi as well? I have heard, however, that you do not believe these claims. That she is a Warrior of Light, chosen by the Mothercrystal herself as a champion. That she has risen to this lofty title multiple times over, slaying summoned gods that would drain this star’s very life, driven Garlean forces out of Ala Mhigo and Doma and other former Imperial provinces, ended a thousand-year war between Ishgard and Dravania, and far more.

I do not comprehend how you can so utterly fail to see the truth of your daughter, but the fact is that I, and many others, are quite capable of doing so. You see, our daughters were became close before mine unfortunately passed, and during our shared grieving, I have come to regard her as my own as well. If you are so willing to discard the absolutely beautiful treasure that is Fearless Willow, then I shall be happy to care for her as best I can. Any mother worth the name would be proud of her for what she has become.

Retired though I am, I still have a number of friends in the publishing business, and I still talk with them often. During these conversations, I will more than likely end up speaking of Fearless. You know how mothers get, we can’t help but gush about our children’s successes and the hardships they’ve overcome. The Warriors of Light are always a newsworthy topic, and I imagine more than a few of them will run stories on her. Of course, they’ll all do their due diligence and dig up as much as they can in the name of getting all of the details right. They’re very thorough that way. Why, I’d expect articles about her in any number of periodicals soon.

Ones that I know for a fact have circulation on your own shores.

I’m curious how your social peers and business partners will react when they doubtless see your names in the story. Aren’t you?

I’d wish you the best of luck, but I would be lying.

Sincerely, F’lhaminn Qesh

PS. I wouldn’t bother saving this missive. I had an alchemist prepare the ink. Within a few minutes of it being opened, it will dissolve entirely. Don’t be holding it when that happens.

Even as he read the postscript, Ahldblaet saw the paper begin crumbling as the alchemical concoction did its work. He threw it to the stone floor, and within seconds, it had vanished as though it had never existed.

He hmphed. They could get in front of this. Who would believe the word of some woman from a far-off land over important people such as they? Perhaps his wife’s social standing might suffer, but eventually those parasites would come crawling back. Their trading partners were intelligent, savvy folk that were well trained in spotting truth from fiction, they’d see through such a ridiculous hatchet job. Honestly, he’d be surprised if anyone would believe this fiction about their runaway feckless former daughter.

Time to go reassure his wife.

#Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV 2021 Writing Challenge #Fearless Willow #F'lhaminn Qesh #I know I said I was probably done writing about these awful people #But a friend gave me the idea of someone calling her Feckless Willow by mistake and this came out #Plus it was a good excuse to show her relationship with Flhaminn #Do not mess with her daughters #ninja edit sorry for the lack of read more link!

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theredherb · 4 years ago

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The Red Herb’s Top 10 Games of 2020

Hey, fuck 2020. You might notice that many of the “Best Of” lists you read this year and last can’t help but mention how terrible 2020 was. That’s because every day was like hitting a new, splinter riddled branch on our 365 day plummet off a shit-coated tree. The year brought with it a viral pandemic that served as a pressure cooker for the societal and systemic issues boiling beneath the surface of our every day life. And we’re not out of it.

At least one positive holds true of 2020: the games were pretty darn good. One has to wonder, though, if 2020 was the last year of what can be called “normalcy” for the video game industry. Now that the remainder of titles brewed in pre-Covid times are out in the wild, what will the future of gaming look like as studios shift to work-from-home and distribution models migrate to digital as the primary bread winner? What will games look like going forward?

I have no fucking clue. We’ll get there when we get there. But looking back, I’m glad to have had such solid distractions from the stress and strife. If 2020 is any indicator for the industry going forward, then my takeaway is that games will continue to grow in prominence because of their ability to help us cope and, more importantly, stay connected.

Anyway, here’s video games:

10. MARVEL’S AVENGERS

Oh, Marvel’s Avengers. I know you expected to be on more prestigious Top 10 lists than mine. Truthfully, I debated whether or not you should be here. But I had to search my soul (stone) on this one. Really assemble my feelings. Tony Stark my thoughts (?). Here’s the short of it: Marvel’s Avengers has a great story campaign with a surprising amount of emotional weight thanks largely to Kamala Khan’s quest to reassemble the heroes of her youth. Once the final cutscene ends, though, players were expected to take their play box of Marvel heroes, jump online, and duke it out against hordes of villains for the privilege of precious loot and level gains. It would be impossible to get bored because Crystal Dynamics was going to continually Bifrost in new quests, cosmetics, and heroes -- for free!

Except, after fans blasted through the campaign (took me a solid weekend), they found a multiplayer mode filled with repetitive fights against non-descript A.I.M Bots, a handful of dull, un-Marvelous environments (the PNW?! In a video game?! Wowwee!), and a grind for gear that became useless minutes after it was equipped. Oh, and bugs. Tons of bugs. It must be hard for A.I.M. to take earth’s mightiest heroes seriously when they’re falling through the fucking earth every other mission.

So why the Kevin Accolade™? Of all the mistakes and underbaked ideas, Crystal Dynamics got the most important thing right: they made me feel like I was a part of the Avengers. Cutting through the sky as Iron Man; dive bombing, fists-first as the Hulk; firing gadgets at cronies as Black Widow; cracking a row of skulls with Cap’s shield… Avengers is a brawler on super soldier serum.

The combat is crunchy and addictive, and surprisingly deep once you unlock your character’s full suite of skills and buffs. The gear matters little. But choosing a loadout that works for you -- like ensuring enemy takedowns grant you a health orb every time or turning area clearing attacks to focused beams of hurt -- does matter. When it comes to games with disastrous launches, Avengers is the most deserving of a triumphant comeback story because, if you clear the wreckage, I think there’s a solid game here. If I was able to spend hours playing it in its roughshod state, I can see myself digging in for the long-term once it’s polished up and given a healthy dose of content. You know...if Square Enix doesn’t outright abandon it.

9. STREETS OF RAGE 4

Here’s a fact about me: I love beat ‘em ups. From Final Fight to X-Men to The Simpsons, I prioritized my quarters for the beat ‘em up machines (and House of the Dead simply because House of the Dead fuckin’ owns). Unfortunately, Streets of Rage wasn’t in arcades, and I didn’t own a Genesis growing up, so I didn’t get around to the series until Sega re-released as part of a collection. Though my history with the 29 year old brawler is shorter than some, the basics stand out out right away: it’s an awesome side-scrolling brawler filled with zany character designs and high octane boss fights.

SoR4 nails that simple spirit while adding an electric soundtrack, buttery smooth animations, and an art style that looks like a comic book in motion. You can button-mash your way through the game or master your timing to combo stun the shit out of bad guys. Same screen co-op is a requisite for the beat ‘em up genre but I have to call it out nonetheless given that it's next to obsolete these days. The story campaign is, of course, finite but a stream of unlockables and a Boss Rush Mode pad out the package nicely.

I really don’t have to go on and on. I’m on board with any game that captures the arcadey high of classic beat ‘em ups, and Streets of Rage 4 does it with flare.

8. RESIDENT EVIL 3 REMAKE

Resident Evil 2’s remake was my game of the year in 2019. It’s a pitch perfect revision that captures the pulse-pounding fear of the original while beautifully updating its graphics and gameplay for modern audiences. The most striking aspect of RE2’s remake is how it expands and reconfigures the classic game’s environments and set pieces. Capcom managed to recontextualize, and even improve on, the original’s design while staying faithful to its tone and atmosphere.

Resident Evil 3’s remake is less successful in modifying and improving on its source material. If the game feels like it was handled by a different team than RE2R, your gamer hands have good eyes (roll with it). It was developed by a separate internal team (three different teams, in fact), but that’s actually one of many choices mirroring its 1999 forebear. Just like the original, RE3R is a tighter (i.e. shorter) experience that launched less than a year after its predecessor. And just like the original, the game skirts away from survival horror in favor of action horror.

Unlike last year’s remake, however, RE3R paints in broad strokes with the original material much in the same way that 2004’s Dawn of the Dead remake shared a vague resemblance with Romero’s ‘79 classic. Capcom at least nails down what matters: you play as Jill Valentine, beaten and discredited after the Arklay Mountains incident, during her last escape from the zombie besieged Raccoon City. Her exit is complicated by Nemesis, a humanoid missile that relentlessly pursues her from minute two of the game. Her only chance of making it out alive is by teaming up with a gaggle of Umbrella dispatched mercenaries, including an overly handsome fellow named Carlos Oliveras that you control for a spell. But fans struggled to get over what Capcom didn’t remake. Several enemies, boss fights, and a “divergent path” mechanic that had you choose how best to escape the Nemesis in a pinch were omitted from the remake. Even an entire section set in a clock tower was cut. But, let’s be honest, the biggest omission is a secret ending where Barry Burton saves the day using only his beard. For real, YouTube that shit.

If you look at what the remake does instead of what it doesn’t, you’ll find a lightning paced action game highlighted by tense, one-on-one fights against the constantly mutating Nemesis. The tyrant’s grotesque transformations evoke the mind-rending, gut turning creature designs found in John Carpenter's The Thing. It’s sad that Nemesis doesn’t pursue you through the levels as diligently as he did in the original, or as Mr. X had in last year’s remake, but these “arena fights” end up being harrowing and fun, culminating in a memorable final encounter. The remake also treats us to the best incarnation of Jill to date. She’s a cynical badass, exasperated at how Umbrella upended her life, and can take a plunge off of a building yet still muster enough energy to call Nemesis a bitch. RE3R also shines thanks to its snappy combat, including a contextual dodge that feels rewarding to pull off, less bullet-sponge enemies than RE2, and an assortment of weapons to get you through Jill’s Very Bad Night(s). It makes for a necessary, though shorter, companion to last year’s stellar remake.

7. HADES

I’m experiencing a new type of shame including a title that I haven’t beaten on my Top 10 list, but I can assure you that I’ve dumped hours into its addictive death loop. It’s probably because of my resistance to looking up any tips, but given the skill-check nature of the difficult boss fights, I’m almost afraid the top shelf advice will amount to “die less, idiot.”

My failings aside, Hades is brilliant. It’s the perfect merger of gameplay and storytelling. You play as Zagreus, son of Hades, and your entire goal is to escape your father’s underworld domain. You pick from a selection of weapons, like a huge broadsword or spear, and attempt your “run,” seeing how far you can make it before an undead denizen cuts you down. It’s familiar roguelike territory, but where Supergiant separates their game from the pack is in the unique feeling of constant progression, even as you fail. With each run, not only is Zagreus earning a currency (gems or keys) that unlock new skills that make the next go a little easier, you’re also consistently treated to new lore. The fallen gods and heroes that line your father’s hall greet you after each death and provide a new insight into their world. The writing is bouncy and hilarious, the voice acting ethereal and alluring, and the character designs could make a lake thirsty.

Supergiant’s stylistic leanings are at their peak here. They’ve managed the impossible feat of making failure feel like advancement. Sure, it totally fucks up other roguelikes for me, but that’s okay. None of those games have Meg.

6. DEMON’S SOULS

Whereas Capcom takes liberties with their remakes, Bluepoint took the Gus Van Sant approach and made a 1:1 recreation of the 2009 title that launched the “Soulslike” genre. The dividing difference is a 2020 facelift brought to us by way of the PlayStation 5’s next-gen horsepower. There’s been online arguments (surprise) regarding the loss of Fromsoftware’s visual aesthetic in translating the PS3 original in order to achieve a newfound photorealism. It’s true, some beasties lose their surreal weirdness -- a consequence of revisiting designs without the worry of graphical or time constraints -- but the game’s world is still engrossing, morbid, and bleakly gorgeous.

That’s not to say all Bluepoint did was overhaul the graphics and shove this remake out the door. No, their improvements are nuanced, under-the-hood changes that gently push the genre into the next-generation. For one, the loading times are incredible. You could hop between all five archstones in under a minute if you wanted. And this game is a best DualSense controller showcase outside of Astro’s Playroom. You can feel a demonstrable difference between hitting your sword against a wall compared to connecting it with an attacking creature. Likewise, the controller rumbles menacingly as to let you know enemies are stomping across a catwalk above you. “Better rumbles” was not on my wish list of next-gen features, but the tactile feedback goes great lengths to make you feel like you’re there.

Granted, sticking so closely to the original means its pratfalls are also carried over to the next-gen. The trek between bonfire checkpoints is an eternity compared to the game’s successors, and Fromsoftware hadn’t quite mastered the sword ballet of boss fights prevalent in Dark Souls. Instead, a handful of bosses feel more like set pieces where you’re searching for the “trick” to end it versus having to learn attack patterns and counters. Still, it’s easy to see the design blueprint that bore a whole new genre. From having to memorize enemy placements to hunting down the world’s arcane secrets in the hopes of finding a new item that pushes the odds in your favor. Bluepoint’s quality of life improvements only make it kinder (not easier) to plunge into the game, obsess over its idiosyncrasies, and begin to master every inch of it. That is until you roll into New Game+ and the game shoves a Moonlight Greatsword up your ass.

5. YAKUZA: LIKE A DRAGON

Here’s a fact about me I’m sure you don’t know: I love beat ‘em ups. Streets of Rage 4 had an easy time making it on this list because it can be classified as both a “beat ‘em up” and “good.” Here’s another fact about me: I’m not the biggest fan of JRPGs. I’m told this is not because of any personal preferences I harbor, but rather due to a distinct lack of culture. I’ve made peace with that. At least my uncultured ways are distinctive.

But my disinterest in JRPGs is notable here because it illustrates how very good Like A Dragon is. Transitioning the Yakuza series from a reactive brawler (entrenched in an open-world SIM) to a full-blown turned-based RPG was risky -- especially 8 entries into the mainline series -- but it pays off explosively for Like A Dragon. Not only does the goofiness, melodrama, and kinetic energy translate to an RPG -- it’s improved by it. Beyond a new protagonist -- the instantly likable and infinitely affable Ichiban Kasuga -- we’re finally treated to an ensemble cast that travels with you, interacts with you, and grows with you. Their independent stories weave into Ichi’s wonderfully and end up mattering just as much as his.

The combat doesn’t lose any of its punch now that you’re taking turns. In fact, it feels wilder than ever and still demands situational awareness as your enemies shift around the environment, forcing you to quickly pick which move will do the most damage and turn the fight in your favor. RGG purposefully made Ichi obsessed with Dragon Quest (yes, specifically Dragon Quest) as an excuse to go ham and morph enemies into outlandish fiends that would populate Ichi’s favorite series. It’s a fun meta that never loses its charm.

This is the best first step into a new genre I’ve ever seen an established franchise make and I hope like hell they keep with it for future outings -- and that Ichi returns to keep playing hero. There’s plenty of callbacks and treats for longtime fans, but RGG did a masterful job rolling out the virtual carpet for a whole new generation of Yakuza fanatics.

4. GHOST OF TSUSHIMA

Sucker Punch’s dive into 13th century Japan doesn’t redefine the open-world genre. But like Horizon: Zero Dawn before it, Ghost of Tsushima takes familiar components of the genre and uses them exceptionally well, creating an airtight experience that can’t help but stand out. I can tell Sucker Punch mused on games like Assassin’s Creed and Breath of the Wild, tried to figure out what makes those games tick, and then brought their own spin to those concepts. You can feel it in their obsession to make traversal through the environment as unobtrusive as possible, letting the wind literally guide you to your destinations instead of forcing the player to glue their eyes to a mini-map. You can feel it in how seamless it is to scale a rooftop before silently dropping on a patrol, blade first. You can feel it in the smoothness behind the combat as your sword clashes against the enemy’s. Every discrete part is fine-tuned yet perfectly complements the whole. The game is silk in your hands.

The mainline story can be humdrum, though. It mirrors the beats of a superhero origin story, which isn’t surprising when you account for the three Infamous titles and satellite spinoffs under Sucker Punch’s belt. But Jin Sakai’s personal journey outshines the cookie-cutter plot. His gradual turn from the strict samurai code to a morally ambiguous vigilante lifestyle (to becoming, eventually, a myth) is a fascinating exploration in shifting worldviews. This is bolstered by the well-written side-missions dotting your quest, some of which play out in chains. It’s these diversions about melancholy warriors and villagers adjusting to life under invasion that end up being the essential storytelling within the game. Whatever you do, don’t skip a single one.

Before GoT can overstay its welcome with collectible hunting and stat-tree building, the ride is over. If you find exhaustive open-world titles, well, exhausting, Sucker Punch coded enough of a campaign to sticking the landing and not more. But if you were looking for more, the game’s co-op Legends mode is the surprise encore of the year. It strikes its own tone, with vibrant, trippy designs, and a progression system that embarrasses other AAA titles in the space (I mean Avengers. I’m talking about Avengers).

3. THE LAST OF US PART II

The Last of Us is widely regarded as a masterpiece. It’s a melancholic trek through a realistic post-apocalypse, driven by the budding bond between a world-weary survivor and a would-be teenage savior. The fungal zombies and violent shootouts with scavengers were scary and exciting, but ultimately just window-dressing compared to the level of complicated, and honest, human emotion on display throughout the tale. While a segment of detractors helpfully pointed out that The Last of Us’ story isn’t unique when compared to years of post-apocalyptic books, comics, and movies, that argument seems to forget that a narrative more concerned with the human protagonists’ connections to one another instead of saving the world or feeding into a hero complex is pretty unique for games -- especially a high profile, AAA budgeted game.

Still, fans made heroes out of Joel and Ellie because of their own connection to their journey. And that connection is almost instantly challenged in the opening hours of The Last of Us Part II to heartbreaking effect. But I’m here to tell you that any other sequel would have been dishonest to the legacy of the original game. To be given a hero’s quest as a continuation, an imagined sequel where Joel and Ellie do battle against the viral infection that’s swept the earth, would have been a despicable cash-in. It would have been a mistake to follow-up the original’s careful examination of human nature just to placate an audience that seems to have missed the point Naughty Dog made. The Last of Us Part II hurts. But it has to or else it wouldn’t have been worth making. It’s a slow-burn meditation on the harmful ripples revenge creates, how suffering begets suffering, and how, if we don’t break the cycles of violence we commit to, suffering will come for us.

To drive this point, we’re given two distinct perspectives during the meaty (and somewhat overlong) campaign, split between Ellie Williams, the wronged party seeking revenge, and Abby Anderson, an ex-Firefly whose actions set the sequel into motion. The greatest trick Naughty Dog pulls off isn’t forcing us to play as a character we hate, it’s giving us reasons to emphasize with them. It was gradual, and despite some heavy-handed moments meant to squeeze sympathy out of the player (how many times do I have to see that fuckin’ aquarium?!), I eventually came to love Abby’s side of the story. The obvious irony being that she unwittingly walks the same path Joel did in the original.

My love for the narrative shouldn’t distract from how well designed the world is. Being a King County local, the vision of a ruined Seattle strikes an uncomfortable note -- it was eerie seeing recognizable buildings overgrown with vegetation but otherwise devoid of life. Maybe the heart-wrenching story also distracts from the fact this game is, by definition, survival horror. Exploring toppled buildings in the dark, hearing the animalistic chittering of the infected, defending yourself with limited resources… It manages to be a scarier entry into the genre in 2020 than even RE3R. There’s a particular fight in a fungus covered hospital basement that easily goes down as my Boss Fight of the Year. Human enemies make for clench-worthy encounters, too, with incredibly adept AI that forces you to keep moving around the environment and set traps to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Admittedly, the subject matter -- or more to the point, the grim tone -- was tough to stomach during an actual pandemic which has happily treated us to the worst of human nature. Still, The Last of Us Part II is absolutely worth playing for its balance of mature themes and expertly crafted world, and the way it juxtaposes beauty and awfulness in the same breath.

2. SPIDER-MAN: MILES MORALES

The most impressive thing about Miles Morales is that, despite being a truncated midquel rather than a full-blown sequel, it’s a better game than 2018’s Spider-Man. It’s not because of the instantaneous loading times or the fancy ray-tracing techniques used on the PS5 version of the game. Rather, it’s how it takes the joyride of the original game and hones it into a laser focused experience filled to the brim exclusively with highs. Like Batman: Arkham Asylum going into Arkham City, Miles starts the game off with his mentor’s best abilities and tools. From there, he discovers his own powers, his bioelectric venom strike, which ends up feeling like the missing ingredient from the first game’s combat.

Your open-world playground -- a locale in the Marvel universe called “New York City” -- is exactly the same size as the previous installment, which helps avoid making the game feel “lesser.” But Insomniac wisely consolidated the random crimes Peter faced into a phone app that Miles can check and choose which activity to help out with. Choices like this really trim the fat from the main game and help alleviate “the open-world problem” where the story’s pacing suffers because players are spending hours on end collecting feathers. This is great because Miles’ story is also great. The narrative kicks Peter out pretty early on, focusing on how Miles assumes the role of city protector, primarily focused on his new home in Harlem. Insomniac avoids retreading the same path paved by Into the Spider-Verse by telling a relatable tale where Miles defines his identity as Spider-Man. With a strong cast led by Nadji Jeter as Miles, the game lands an impactful story that weaves its own new additions to Miles’ mythos (light spoiler: I loved their take on The Prowler).

Miles Morales was pure virtualized joy from start to finish. A requirement of the platinum trophy is to replay the entirety of the game on New Game+. I didn’t hesitate to restart my adventure the minute the credits were over. Everything I loved about 2018’s Spider-Man is here: the swinging, the fighting, the gadgets, the bevy of costumes. But it gave me a new element I adore and can’t see Insomniac’s franchise proceeding without: being Miles Morales.

1. FINAL FANTASY VII REMAKE

I love subversive media, I do. And Square Enix’s “remake” of one the most beloved video games ever made subverts expectations by openly acknowledging that, yes, the original story you love exists and is consistently referenced in this game. But this is not that story. This is something..else. Because the truth is, SE could never have recreated FFVII and delivered a title that matched the Sacred Game fans created in their heads. That impossible standard is like an imagined deity, given power by feeding on raw nostalgia reinforced by years of word-of-mouth and appearances on Top 100 lists. I’m not saying FFVII is a bad game or that fans give it too much credit. Not at all. There’s a reason it’s so influential -- it’s good! But memory works in a funny way over time. We have a tendency to codify our perception of a thing over the reality of it. The connection we make to certain media, especially when introduced at a young age as FFVII had been to a whole generation of fans so long ago, creates a legend in our heads. Unfortunately, it’s a legend no developer could achieve when tasked with remaking it.

So Square...didn’t. Final Fantasy VII Remake has the same characters, setting, and plot beats as the first third of the original game but it’s not the same game, nor is it a remake of it in the traditional sense. It’s something new. And I fucking love that about it.

Everything is reconfigured, including the combat. After years of trying to merge RPG mechanics with more approachable (and marketable) real-time action (see FFXV and the Kingdom Hearts games for examples), Square Enix finally landed on the perfect balance. You fully control Cloud on the battlefield, from swinging your impossibly huge buster sword to dodging attacks. The ATB gauge (no one knows what the acronym stands for -- that information has been lost to time) gradually fills up, letting unleash powerful moves. But best of all, you fight in a party, and you can switch who to control on the fly.

That may not sound revolutionary, let alone for a Final Fantasy, but each character has a completely unique feel and suite of moves. At times, it feels like playing a Devil May Cry game where you can switch between Dante, Vergil, and Nero on the fly (that’s a free idea, Capcom. Hire me, you cowards). You can soften up an enemy with Cloud’s buster to increase their stagger meter, switch to Barret for a quick gatling barrage, and finally switch to Tifa to crush them with her Omnistrike. You can accomplish this in real-time or slow down the action to plan this out. It’s a great mix of tactics and action that prevents the game from feeling like a mindless hack n’ slash.

What really, really works here is the character work. Each lead walks in tropes first, but the longer you spend with the members of your party, the more their motivations and fears are laid out. You end up having touching interactions with just about the whole main cast. There’s a small segment, after Cloud saves Aerith from invading Shinra guards, that the two make an escape via rooftop.They make light conversation -- small talk really -- but it’s exchanges like this that feel genuine, perfectly framing their characters (stoic versus heartfelt), and grounding an otherwise larger-than-life adventure.

Many bemoaned the fact that FFVIIR only revisits a small portion of the original game, but I think it was a brilliant choice -- to massively expand on areas we only got to see a little of in the original. I honestly didn’t want to leave Midgar. It’s a world rife with conflict and corporate oppression, sure, but Midgar is beautifully realized, from the slums below the plates, populated with normal people trying to make the best of life, to the crime controlled Wall Market, adorned with gaudy lights and echoing honky tonk tunes. It very well may be years before FFVII’s remake saga comes to a close, but if each entry is paved with as much love and consideration and, yes, storytelling subversion as this introductory chapter… It’ll be worth the wait.

#gaming

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brinaedwards · 3 years ago

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Hi, my name is Brina... and I’m a workaholic

As the above title states, my name is Brina and yes, I am a workaholic. I don't think of that as a bad thing since I enjoy the self-motivation and the feeling of accomplishment when I get tasks done. However, my boyfriend thinks that I should focus some of that time getting more hours of sleep, haha.

I attended Valley Central High school and graduated in 2017. High school was an okay experience, if I wasn’t apart of the band program I feel that I would have disliked it more and would not have an interest in the things I do now. I’m not trying to shit on the school, but I feel that it needed a deep cleanse on administration staffing and just an overall re-look on how to spend the funding. Just saying, I think the asbestos issue should have been handled before the bleachers and locker rooms. But, not my problem anymore, Thank God.

When it came to deciding colleges and all that jazz, my high school was zero help in the whole process. Yes, they talked about it but at that age things should be more simplified to understand what needs to be done. I’m 22 and I just finally figured out how to build up my credit score? Like, HELLO, start teaching kids about loans and all the other financial shit that goes into college. Not to mention the absolute lack of help I got when picking my major. I knew I wanted to go into the music or media industry and of course, none of my advisors had a clue what I was talking about. I decided on OCCC for the pricing and that cushion of still figuring out what I wanted to do. I attended SUNY Orange Fall of 2017 as a liberal arts: music emphasis major. Fast forward a year later to find out that they actually have a music program! Got to love the help advisors give you right? More so, the help wrong advisors give you. That following fall I was a full Music: Performing Arts major and loved every second of it. I met amazing, talented people that I am very glad to still be in touch with. When I was on my last semester and was on the edge of graduating I had the moment of “Oh, God.. What the hell am I going to do after this”. I decided I wasn't ready to move on from SUNY Orange, since I had no idea what direction to go. I started looking into another major and that's when I found New Media! I was always interested on how content was made and what went into making a film. I remember my cousin and I used to make these little movie clips with the windows movie maker. We thought we were going to be these big movie-making hot shots at 8/9 years old haha.

I am grateful that I took my time with school and by the end of this OCCC journey I will be graduating next Fall with two A.A.S degrees and a clear idea of where I want to go.

Aside from anything media related I’ve been on this reading kick. Genres from fantasy, horror and some history. This summer my boyfriend and I got really into reading/collecting comic books! He has way more comics than I do but at least once a week we’re at Middletown Comics seeing what new issues came out! Now with the fall/Halloween season fast approaching I have been planning some great ideas for this year! I know I may catch a lot of eye-rolls/ mini-hate from those not wishing summer to be over but I can’t wait for fall. Besides, halloween is everyday haha. I’ve been looking at Pinterest ideas on how to DIY some awesome decorations. I guess Pinterest is somewhat media related though? Ah well, since I'm back talking about it, I might as well talk about the last movie and TV show I watched. The last movie I watched was actually what had to be watched for COM 105. It was the 1995 movie Kids and uh.. it was definitely something haha. I understood the point of how it related to youth culture but I would not want to watch that movie again. As for the last TV show I watched, was again what I had to be watched for COM 105. It was Euphoria season 1 and that was a really good show. I know I only had to watch the first four episodes but I binged the whole season. The way the story was told was creative, I enjoyed the narrative back a forth style and how each character had their own stories. It made it worth getting a month of HBO Max.

Being on the topic of last things done, I suppose the next order is the last book/video game played or finished. The last book I finished was A Map of the Dark by Karen Ellis. I got that book from Thrill Club. It’s basically a horror/thriller/anything dark and creepy book subscription. I canceled thrill club awhile ago and just now getting into the books I was sent. Anyway back to this book that I read. I found it a little empty. I just wanted more from it, it was very predictable and dry. I wanted more character depth, more suspense and just more of everything. The book is in the corner of my room at this moment because I’m going to donate it, that's how unsatisfying it was to me. But HEY if anyone is interested in a dry thriller let me know! Haha. As for the last video game played it would have to be Assassins Creed Valhalla and that was a few weeks ago. I do love to game but when I’m getting into a project or assignment, more of my focus goes into that rather than a video game. But my goal this semster is to take more time to myself and have self-care days, so Valhalla here I come!

Going down the “Lasts” list I have to my right here is, the last thing I created. Um, I guess the last thing I created was a make up look, that I will post a pic of at the bottom! I do have ideas I wish to create such as uploading my podcast and YouTube videos! Im a really big planner so when it comes to things like that I want to have clear, organized agenda. I do have a date that I want things done and released so there’s that! I will probably mention more of my podcast in future posts but for now things are in the works.

Which now brings us to the last thing of the “Lasts” list. Im sure there is a tongue twister in there somewhere but I don’t have the brain capacity to think of one. My last meal on earth would have to be what I had for dinner last night. I ate cheese ravioli with a side of mozzarella sticks.

I know this assignment was supposed to be a minimum of 500 words and I believe I exceeded that. I look forward to these blog assignments since I can let my mind go and word things as if I was actually speaking. Well with a post this long I guess it’s safe to say I was ranting.

To future rants and of course the required MLA formatted references!

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nellied-reviews · 4 years ago

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Box 953 Re-listen

Well, I got a bit side-tracked by life (seriously, I had to take an impromptu trip to a consulate!) but I am back, and just in time for episode 8 of Wolf 359:

Box 953

In which Eiffel finds a mysterious box, Hilbert really wants to avoid the quarterly talent show and Minkowski is the very model of a modern major general.

Sometimes I'm surprised by these episodes when I get back round to them. This one? Not so much. I think I actually remembered pretty much everything relevant about this episode, going into it: Eiffel is avoiding Minkowski, finds a mysterious box, the mysterious box gets blown up before we see what’s inside it.

And in general, I do like the episode a lot. It's funny, after all, and it does that thing that I'm noticing a lot on the re-listen where the show throws out a big weird mystery, then ends up dropping it with a theatrical shrug of the shoulders. It's a smart thing to do, because all of the unanswered questions ("Do those transmissions really come from Earth?", "There's a plant monster on the loose!", "What's with that weird voice?", "What's in the box?") could be answered in the future, but could just as easily not be. Sure, some of them are super important and interesting in hindsight. But burying the plot-relevant questions under a heap of less relevant but equally intriguing questions disguises them, and means that we're surprised when something like, say, that weird ghost voice comes back later on. Plus it creates the impression that the Hephaestus itself is a setting full of mysteries and weird things. Which is fun.

As we begin, though, all we know is that Eiffel, for whatever reason, is hiding from Minkowski in a store room. Why? Turns out, Minkowski is worryingly invested in their quarterly talent show, while Eiffel is... less than enthusiastic.

And look, I am easily pleased. The idea of the four crew members being forced to participate in a mandatory talent show is very funny to me. The fact that this is quarterly - and so they have, presumably, already suffered through several of them - makes me smile a lot. Eiffel and Hilbert being united in their dread of it? Awesome. I love it. Honestly, it makes me want to consume and/or write fanfic about the Hephaestus' previous talent shows, and the shenanigans that I just know must have been involved.

An another level, though, can we also stop to appreciate how seriously Minkowski takes it all? It's played for laughs throughout, sure, but I do like the fact that Minkowski is the sort of person to go all out and just unselfconsciously embrace the talent show. Her love of musical theatre is so joyful and pure, and I really appreciate it. I think, on some level, it even makes her a more interesting character; instead of going down the well-trodden "I'm a badass with a secret love of something cheesy, which I'm horribly embarrassed of" route, she goes for "I'm a badass with totally non-secret love of something cheesy, which I am totally open and unashamed of." It's a sign of self-confidence, I think, plus a reassuring reminder that Commander Minkowski, badass extraordinaire, nerds out just as hard as the rest of us. (Plus, you really can't be a fan of G&S and take yourself all that seriously, because come on...)

Anyway, the conversation Minkowski and Eiffel then have, and Eiffel's ensuing log entry is just enough to give some tantalising hints of what past talent shows have involved (smoke rings? poetry readings?) before Hilbert calls Eiffel, desperate to avoid the talent show. And his solution? Knock Minkowski out. Because it's Hilbert, so of course that's the answer. *Sighs*.

While Hilbert gets going with that, then, all that remains is for Eiffel to explore the store room. And while this isn’t super relevant, it is a great excuse for a Night Vale-style list of Improbable Weird Things. And seriously, pretty much every single object here is worthy of mention. We have eyeless Russian dolls straight out of a horror movie. We have letters to Santa, a revelation whose implications are both hilarious and baffling. We have Chekhov's cannon, which totally won't be relevant later in the episode.

And in among all this, Eiffel mentions Goddard Futuristics by name for the very first time, which actually surprised me. I thought they'd already come up, since in hindsight, they really do have their fingers in everything going on up on the Hephaestus, even in the first few episodes. But I guess this is their first official mention? And to be fair, I do remember assuming, early on, that this was a military mission. So this is probably the point where we are aware, for the first time, of the corporate context of it all, and the fact that it's Goddard who are basically running a for-profit private army here. Which is... fun.

The dystopian side of that is brushed aside here, though, in favour of just revelling in the out-there weirdness of all the stuff that Goddard have stored up on the Hephaestus. L-shaped Lego pieces? 3 suits of armour? The partial skull of megafauna specimen 58 "to be handled with a vague feeling of existential dread"? It's Warehouse 13, in space!

It's also kind of heartening to see how excited Eiffel is by all this. Like, I know that he essentially got forced to go to space, but he really does have the sense of adventure for it. There's something very sweet about how not-jaded and enthusiastic Eiffel gets, as soon as he encounters something new. And then the plot thickens when he discovers the titular Box 953, which is reserved for Douglas Eiffel. What could possibly be in it? Eiffel, ever curious, is clearly desperate to know.

Before we find out, of course, we're interrupted by Hilbert, whose plan to knock Minkowski out has hone horribly wrong - he's just gotten her drunk. Even better, we get Minkowski's drunken rendition of "I am the very model of a modern major general" in the background during all of this, and kudos to Emma Sherr-Ziarko, because every single thing drunk!Minkowski says from here on out is amazing. From making pirate costumes, to nearly shooting Hilbert over ice cream, to the little hiccup she does, everything about Minkowski here is perfect and wonderful.

It doesn't distract Eiffel for long, though, and soon he's asking Hera what's in the box. She doesn't know, though, and actually can't access those files at all. Instead, she gets the message "Error, inappropriate security clearance", which is pretty creepy. It's the second time in as many episodes, after all, that we hear somebody who isn't Hera speaking through the Hephaestus, and it's a reminder of just how many secrets the station potentially holds. And so all we learn, in the end, is that Box 953 is weird. It's huge, and bolted in place, and it's cold to the touch. Plus it's making a heart beat kind of sound? It's at this point, I noticed, that the background music also cuts away, and we’re left with a weird crackling noise as Eiffel goes to open it. Spooky.

Every part of me was expecting this to be a Pandora's box-type scenario where Eiffel's opening the box would unleash something terrible and all hell would break loose. So when we hear something explode, it seems like confirmation of this... except when we cut back to Eiffel, several in-universe hours later, we learn that the problem wasn't Eiffel opening the box. In fact, Eiffel didn't manage to open the box; the explosion was from Minkowski setting off the cannon. It seems like a lot happened in the three hour gap in the recording (not least, Minkowski ended with burns and frostbite?) and as a result, Box 953 was lost to the vacuum of space. Bummer.

And then that's it. Episode over. Everyone is safe and well, and the station is fine. But we don't learn what was in the box, and I don't think it really come up again? I googled it, and I think I saw a suggestion that it's the simulation-y machine from Change of Mind? But I don't remember the connection really being commented on, and even then it doesn't explain why it's specifically Eiffel's name on the box now. Like... what situation would Command have been expecting him to use it in? Why? How? So many questions, all of them unanswered!

And I suppose that's fine, at the end of the day. I enjoyed this episode, I loved the talent show idea, and I didn't mind the weird storeroom bits. I can imagine that some people probably felt cheated by the lack of answers we got here - and Eiffel's own anger and frustration as the episode ends maybe feels like a concession to those people. But personally, I'm more than willing to leave it as a riddle for the ages. If this had developed into something more later on, that would have been fun. As it is, I didn't mind it one bit, though. As long as you don't overdo it, weirdness for weirdness' sake can be plenty entertaining.

Plus, drunk Minkowski is a gift to us all :)

Miscellaneous thoughts:

So I checked out the poem that got name-dropped in this episode, Sylvia Plath's Lady Lazarus, and holy smokes, disturbing much? In an interesting kind of way, sure, but still disturbing...

"You can't solve all your problems by knocking them out." "You know, people keep saying that, and yet my problems keep going away."

D'awww Hilbert is enjoying this, isn't he?

I bet your alcohol tolerance goes way down in space. Hmm...

"Eiffel, you do not understand, there is singing."

"Swashes and buckles, Hilbert, swashes and buckles."

Also, it sounds like Hera has absolutely no objections to the talent show, and is just busy practicing her lines? What a cutie ^-^

"I don't know if it was a warning shot or if she just missed." Scared Hilbert is 100% not what I'm used to.. Is this the most frightened we ever hear him?

Don't think I missed Eiffel finding Dr. Fourier's diary :'( (another thing linking this episode to Change of Mind?)

#wolf 359 #wolf359 #w359 #wolf 359 relisten #box 953 #nellied reviews #a solidly entertaining episode #and pleasantly low-stakes #I would 100% watch a version of Warehouse 13 set in space

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gross-gal · 4 years ago

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yo!! i dont know jackshit about Darkstalkers!! What's it about?? What do you like about it?? What do you NOT like about it?? Tell me alll!!!! (@gamer-gremlin-gf-ships)

AAAAAA THANK YOU @gamer-gremlin-gf-ships

SO. I’LL PUT THIS UNDER READ MORE BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT.

Darkstalkers is a fighting game developed by Capcom. The main gimmick is that, most of, the fighters are based off of horror archetypes. So ya got vampires, zombies, frankensteins, fishmen, ghosts, all that shit.

There isn’t really much story wise I can elaborate on since, fighting games don’t usually have that much of a story to begin with. BUT, in Darkstalkers 1 and 2, main story is that this big bad dude named Pyron kinda wants to determine if the Earth is worthy to be ruled under him or if he’ll destroy it. Pyron is a shape shifting alien dude from the planet, Hellstorm and he’s really looking for a good brawl so he goes and fights the most powerful Darkstalker, which is whoever you choose to play as.

Now then, to avoid confusion, Darkstalkers 1 and 2 (or Vampire Hunter/Night Warriors: Darkstalkers’ Revenge) are basically the same game. 2 is more of an updated version of 1, has two new characters, better gameplay, and it also changes some part of the story because Demitri (the vampire dude) actually was the one who originally started the whole tournment thing in determining who was the most powerful and I think? Pyron kinda ends up in the way. In 2, it basically is changed to Pyron is the one that starts the tournament, and that’s the canonical version.

So 2 isn’t really that much of a sequel, while Darkstalkers 3 (or Vampire Savior) is an actual sequel to the series. This introduces the antagonist, Jedah Dohma, whose plot is that he wants to collect all the powerful darkstalker souls and put them into this big demon baby, which then be used as a vessel for him. Jedah’s whole thing is that he’s basically disappointed in what has become of the demon world (makai world) and decides that he’s going to annihilate both the demons and humans. He sees himself as a savior, and while there really isn’t a protag, Jedah kind of is considered to be one in 3.

NOW. WHAT IS A DARKSTALKER? It’s literally just...fucking monster? I guess? There really isn’t a specific definition but just know, everyone, besides B.B. Hood because she’s the only true human in the series, is a Darkstalker.

Just gonna get my problems out of the way. Obviously, the series has some sexual stuff, which is fine but it can get uncomfortable. Demitri is a pretty big example since he literally has an ability that just involves transforming the opponent into a younger, more desirable person so that he can drain their blood? I won’t go to into it since it’s gross but yeah. Then of course there’s Lilith and yeah...REALLY WISH THEY DIDN’T MAKE HER LOOK LIKE THAT BECAUSE SHE’S A PRETTY COOL CHARACTER.

Darkstalkers also doesn’t offer much as far as a story, this is sort of good because it offers a lot of freedom as far as writing, but to be honest? A lot of stuff which tries to elaborate on the Darkstalkers lore or whatever, KIND OF SUCKS. I myself, am not into the Udon comics or the mangas, the OVA also doesn’t offer much of a great story. Which is a shame because Darkstalkers has a lot of potential but so many attempts, just kinda fail because they miss the point in the series. Udon and the Vampire Savior manga in particular because they take the series way too seriously or just characterize really strangely? The OVA probably offers the best in terms of story but it’s not even much because the only actual good and satisfying one, is Donovan’s story. His is the only one that actually has a conclusion. Otherwise, the OVA suffers from poor pacing, lots of exposition, or just OOC moments. LIKE??? REALLY DOESN’T MAKE SENSE AS TO WHY FELICIA GETS ALONG WITH ZABEL OR MORRIGAN ENDING UP WITH DEMITRI?

And then I guess a more minor complaint. Darkstalkers has a very specific style, I really think the series look best in the first two games and in the OVA. I personally am not a big fan of the character art in 3 jdskal

NOW FOR THE POSITIVES.

I CANNOT EMPHASIZE ENOUGH HOW MUCH I ADORE THE ART AND ANIMATION IN THE SERIES????

The main artists for the series are Bengus (Gouda Cheese) and Daigo Ikeno. Bengus really fucking nailed how the series should look. It’s got that perfect balance of the gothic, sensual aesthetic with exaggeration and fuckin weirdness of the series. Darkstalkers is a series that completely embraces it’s wacky side and just how campy it’s influences are. I mostly love Bengus’ earlier works from 1 and 2. Daigo’s stuff is much more casual and less elaborate compared to Bengus’ works but I kinda love that, he’s really great at showing off the characters in more casual situations and showing off their goofier sides. I’ll share some of my favorite pieces at the end.

OH GOD. AND HOW CAN I NOT BRING UP THE ANIMATION???

While I wouldn’t say it’s as fluent as Street Fighter Alpha 3′s sprites, because Darkstalkers is able to be more creative with it’s moves, the results are some super wacky and fun animation. Darkstalkers animators heavily referenced old Looney Tunes and Hanna Barbera cartoons when it came to animating. I really don’t know a whole lot of fighting games, especially from Capcom, that look the way Darkstalkers looks. And a lot of that comes from the fact that Darkstalkers isn’t very limited. Characters can launch missles, fireballs, fucking blood?. Characters can extend or manipulate their body. Or just do weird shit like transform characters into basketballs, make characters perform in a rhythm game?, A CHARACTER STRAIGHT UP USES HIS ASS CHEEKS TO GRAB YOU AND SUMMON LIGHTNING?? Everything is super fucking wild and that’s what makes the series.

A lot of people say Darkstalkers needs to be gorey and sexual but that’s really not what the series is about. Yes, Darkstalkers is def sensual but it also really doesn’t take itself seriously. That’s what so many people miss. And honestly? Even though it was terrible, the American cartoon ends up being the most accurate to the source material because it gives no fucks and so much weird shit just happens.

Another thing I love about Darkstalkers is how much it subverts it’s characters and just how creative they got. You have an Australian zombie rockstar, a catlady that’s also an idol and a nun??, a demon possessed samurai ghost armor guy. The character design is genuinely fucking brillant and not at all what you’d expect to get when given the idea for monster characters. I would talk about the characters but you see how long this post is starting to get.

And I haven’t talked that much about gameplay but Darkstalkers feels fucking great. If you’re curious about which game to get into, absolutely go with 3/Vampire Savior. It feels great, combo inputs are relatively simple, you can straight up beat the game just by button mashing, and no character really feels too similar. It’s also a very fast game too, if you ever watch tournaments, they go by so fast and when you play it, you’re very much engaged. It’s a game that requires a lot of attention and I enjoy that. I also have to mention this but, pretty much every character has their own unfair, bullshit tactic that, if you plan on getting good, will require you to figure out how to avoid depending on what character you use. There’s a sorta popular joke with the game that, it’s balanced if all the characters are broken. I’ll admit, probably not the best game for someone like me that sucks as far as remembering stuff and being able to plan ahead, but I still have lots of fun with the game!

I really didn’t expect to become as engaged in the series as I did but there is a lot to appreciate about Darkstalkers. It’s unfortunate to because, sadly, Darkstalkers likely will never get another game.

While the series is technically popular, it’s still way too niche compared to most fighting games. It just never had the same impact as other fighting games, and ultimately, no matter how good those games feel to play, there’s always shit like Marvel vs Capcom that just is more well known and features more stuff that just is what people prefer going to. I think Capcom will pretty much stick with having Darkstalkers characters appear in crossover games vs actually giving the franchise another game

They tries reviving it with Resurrection, which was a re-release of the games on Xbox and Playstation, but it hardly even sold that many copies. Which is where the phrase “Darkstalkers are not Dead” originated from, a phrase that has become a joke now in the fighting game community. Even if they were to revive the series, it’d be difficult recapturing that same vibe since most of the original crew are working on completely separate projects. There’s also a part of me that does fear the idea of another game because of how it’ll be handled. I’ve heard people mention possibly having the Skullgirls team develop or maybe Arc Systems, I just don’t want a lot of the charm to be lost in a sequel.

Since a fighting game isn’t really possible, I do hope for maybe a show or comic series that explores the characters and story more.

My brain is kinda blanking rn but yeah. I just fucking love this series a lot. I hope maybe someday I can contribute something great to this franchise and I hope you listened to me ramble about it.

#i am so fucking sorry #but thank you djsakljdskalda #Anonymous

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