#if it was not a hallucination …..can someone send it to me lmao

[s0livagant]

Did I hallucinate josh singing unchained melody at some point near the beginning of this tour or did that actually happen

[steviesbicrisis]

I was hallucinating a few hours ago due to lack of sleep bUT-

Thinking about Steve who's confident in his bisexuality, told the kids that he likes both and that's okay because he knows they need, trying to flirt with Eddie who is in denial bc it has to be a joke, right? Harrington, the straightest man alive? Steve lady's man Harrington? Nah, it's only on his mind. Meanwhile Steve is getting more and more sad thinking he's being rejected.

Now, think about the Hellfire members knowing that Eddie's a crush on Steve because he talks about it CONSTANTLY and be sad because "he doesn't have a fat chance in hell". They're also very protective of him so if anyone new in the club is being homophobic, they just throw them out.

So one day Steve is in the Hellfire to wait for the kids and flirt a little, telling himself that "this is the last time, you'll get a GRIP and MOVE THE FUCK ON!" is what he tells to himself. He tries a little and drops after a while, so in the break time the old members tell him that he needs to leave, because they won't allow anyone doing that to Eddie, as in: they think Steve knows that Eddie's gay and likes him so he's flirting with him in a mocking way.

So he leaves.

And when everyone (Eddie + the kids) is asking where is Steve, they say that he was being homophobic, an automat answer and they quickly try to cover up because they don't want to do that to Eddie, but Dustin immediately response was:

"how can Steve be homophobic if he's bi?"

And the world freaking EXPLOSES!

not the steddie hallucinations LMAO

Thank you for sending me this ask because I'm president of "Steve is a confident disaster Bisexual" and I'm making t-shirts for club members as we speak.

Anyways, I think Steve would be extremely confident in his sexuality to the point where he just likes whoever and goes for it (with the right precautions of course). When Eddie comes out to him and the rest of their group, Steve doesn't even think about coming out to him as well because he's been out to the group for so long he just assumes that everyone close to him knows.

So when he realizes he likes Eddie and flirts with him, he doesn't know what to take from his reactions: he doesn't look annoyed or uninterested (think about the girls he would flirt with at Scoops) but he doesn't respond either, which is weird for someone like Eddie, who engages flirty banters even with plants.

Let's add to the mix that Steve's love life has been a mess recently, how many times can you be rejected before you think there's something wrong with you?

That's why he decides to go all in one last time and then leave Eddie alone, but even the worst scenarios in his head did not prepare him for Eddie's friends telling him off on his behalf.

Steve's head is a mess but most of it all, he's ashamed. He thinks he must've been so annoying and oblivious to Eddie's disinterest that the guy had to ask his friends to put Steve in his place for him.

So he finds himself in the school's parking lot, sitting on the hood of his car and mentally counting how much money he and Robin will need to move to another country (because not even the most embarrassing moment of his life will make him go anywhere without her), completely unaware of the chaos inside the Hellfire room.

Eddie isn't in a better mental state than Steve, so he's letting the kids and the band do the talk for him.

"What do you mean he's bisexual? of course he isn't, he's Steve Harrington!" Gareth exclaims, voicing out one of Eddie's many thoughts.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? do you need a special license for that?" Mike huffs, crossing his arms.

Jeff steps in to defend his friend "Of course not! But he's king Steve! And he's constantly picking on Eddie, you heard him!"

"Picking on him? Even a child could see that he has been throwing hints at Eddie for weeks now! What are you, five?"

Erica's words put an end to the discussion, silence falls down abruptly.

Eddie jumps up off his throne and follows wherever Steve had disappeared before, distantly hearing his friends muttered apologies.

He sighs in relief when he sees Steve hasn't left yet.

The car is parked the opposite way of the entrance, so Eddie can only see Steve's back, but he can tell he's gesturing and, when he's close enough, he can hear him talk.

"You can never take a hint, can you? This is so stupid, how can you go around saying you got game when you can't even tell if someone's interested in you? Harrington charm my ass" Steve's hands are all up in the air and Eddie realizes he's gesturing similar to how Eddie does on a daily basis.

It's cute.

"Please leave the Harrington charm out of this" Eddie interjects, making Steve jump in surprise.

He looks like a deer caught by car lights, but he hides it quickly behind a smirk that Eddie refers to - at least in his head - as bitchy Steve "so, no more sending your gang after me? are you worried they didn't do a good job? or am I forbidden to stay even in the parking lot? I'll let you know that I-"

Eddie loves mean girl Steve, but he has no time for him now, so he interrupts "Go on a date with me."

Steve's raised eyebrow and incredulous look tell him that he doesn't take him seriously in the slightest.

"I said, go on a date with me" he repeats.

"I heard you the first time" Steve's voice is close to a whisper "I just think you must've hit your head on your way here."

"You're the one always taking hits on the head, not me" Eddie takes a step closer to him.

Steve steps back "well, there's a first time for everyone" he says, looking away.

Eddie moves close again, his face only a few inches from Steve's "I don't hear an answer."

Steve's eyes flicker on Eddie's lips for half a second, "I didn't hear a question" he bites back.

Eddie smirks and, under Steve's shocked look, jumps on his car.

"Eddie, what the fuck? get down of my car!" he's trying to maintain a firm tone but Eddie can tell he's amused by his antics. Eddie couldn't ask for anything better.

He looks around the parking lot to make sure they're alone, then loudly enounces "Steve Fucking Harrington-"

"Don't say it like it's my middle name!"

Eddie ignores him "- king of the school grounds, best Scoops Ahoy model-"

"what does that even mean-"

"Worst employee that family video has ever had, Faberge Organics favorite costumer-"

"I told you that in confidence."

"Would you do this humble commoner kneeling at your presence" he kneels down theatrically as he says so "the honor of accompanying him for an evening of frivolous romantic shit that society expects you to do when you find a respectable partner?"

“If I say yes will you get down?”

Eddie moves his weight from one foot to the other, making the car under him bounce “I might consider it.”

Steve lifts his arms, apprehensively “Okay, yes fine! Now please get down-”

Eddie jumps down, right into Steve’s arms.

———

All the hellfire club members decide to stop spying on them and get back inside when Eddie’s highly entertaining antics turn into a gross make out session.

“So” Dustin elbows Gareth’s side “does that look homophobic to you?”

[carniferous]

dil do you have any spare thoughts on jegulus 🤲🏼

jegulus is like a years-long social experiment i keep expecting someone from harvard university to pop out of nowhere and be like Jegulus was a an engineered mass-hallucination for the purpose of seeing if a harry potter yaoi ship between two characters that have never interacted on account of being dead for years at the start of canon could make it to the top 20 most popular ships on ao3

lmao no but in all honesty jegulus is my favorite… if you couldn’t already tell from. the 100k+ words of fanfiction i’ve written about them. they’re the doomed love affair of All time to me. and like… the doomed aspect is very important and compelling to me. not to plug my own fucking fic but this will always be a core part of my jegulus thesis:

He worries that he’ll always wish to be back there, waiting for Regulus’s call. Decades will pass, a lifetime, and the wish won’t fade. He could love a thousand people and nothing will ever compare to the frightening, purposeful way he loved the first time. No one will ever know him so bare and uninhibited as he was at sixteen. The thought scares him so much that he almost throws up again.

it’s the first love and the first end of love that changes you so fundamentally. you can never love like that again bc you’re no longer capable of it. you are a fundamentally different person now bc of that love. it’s this

jegulus is also the love story that wasn’t meant to happen yk? i joke about this all the time but also it’s so serious to me. in a canon setting their love story is always woven through the gaps in the Narrative. they love each other despite the story they’re supposed be living out… and they have no choice but to live that story out! regulus has to take the dark mark. he has to die. james has to marry lily and have harry. he has to die. all in all their love changed nothing about their story but it also changed both of Them so fundamentally. just not in ways that are apparent to anyone but themselves

we also cannot ignore sirius….. sirius!!! sirius might be more important to jegulus than james and regulus themselves. he is the inadvertent crux the accidental catalyst. he would never ever dream of james and regulus falling in love he would actively stop it if he could but he CANNOT bc he’s the reason it happened. regulus and james are only aware of each other’s existence because of sirius. they’re bound to each other by the fact that they cannot separate themselves from sirius.

but i don’t think that james wants to save regulus because he saved sirius. i think james is aware of the fact that he Didn’t save sirius. sirius saved himself. and therefore james understands the differences between regulus and sirius and wants to save regulus himself. he wants to be the white knight rescuing the princess from the tower. he wants to give regulus a better life. and regulus wants that more than anything…. but he doesn’t believe in it. he can’t let himself hope that james is telling the truth bc if he is then it means that Sirius was telling the truth and regulus can’t bear that. it’s this endless misunderstanding……

i think a lot of jegulus fans make the point about how “love isn’t enough to save someone” and while i do think this is a correct statement… the only thing that can save regulus is love. there’s nothing else for him there’s nothing he’s been denied in life except love and connection and if he let himself believe he could have those things…. he could walk out!! james COULD save him!!! love CAN be enough

send me ships/characters !!

[caliburn-the-sword]

up to chapter 10. first winter thoughts!!!

thanks to miss marissa meyer because literally everything about winter completely makes up for the fact that i had to go through fairest. also this time i wasn't too lazy to take photos sometimes!! (don't ask me how it's less effort to type up quotes instead of just taking a photo, sending it to my email and downloading the photo from there-- and oh never mind it is still a lot of effort and is only worth it for chunks of paragraphs)

"dark side of luna" made me remember that one side of the moon is perpetually day time. i'm assuming that's where everyone lives since people need vitamin D. hope worldbuilding expands on what it's like during "night time" which is to say when it's late

i think this is the first time we've had a significant time jump between books. it's been months since war started, whereas the past few books only had days between them. idk if i'm disappointed yet because it means we skip a significant portion of the development between winter and scarlet, as well as seeing how kai integrates with the rest of the rampion crew. (note: or it's only been a month????)

ahh do the domes cut off light once it's "nighttime"???

omg she still hasn't seen jacin - i imagine he's also been locked up?? for treason?? but then why not just killed like this father of a shell

APPLAUDED the execution???? cray z

JACIN FINALLY. he's a main love interest so there's no way he will die. i wonder how winter will save him. why was he under arrest for so long??? levana doesn't seem like the type to waste time, unless the war was holding most of her attention

damn that's crazy devoted of winter to die by the blade

i feel like winter hates gingers more than tiktok does LMAO

i can't wait to get jacin's pov and see if he actually tipped off sybil or if it was someone else (which i believe it to be)

why does the name liam kinney sound familiar to me. also, this guard is definitely important since he has been named AND is standing up for jacin. confirmed by kinney looking at winter lol

30 LASHINGS?? there is NO way he can realistically survive that, even if self inflicted. and 40 hours of penance?? sounds vaguely catholic lmao. wonder what it means in this context

"a girl of sunshine and stardust" AYO NEW Y/A FANTASY TITLE JUST DROPPED fskhfsdkhfshk

"Willful determination had stifled any hallucinations." i'm not an expert or anything but like,,, i don't think think that's how it works?? if anyone's got experience with this please let me know if you're comfortable with sharing

why tf does aimery hate jacin so bad (note: probably a jealous bastard?? creeper mccreepface wants winter all for himself)

seeing jacin grin is honestly kind of alarming. i don't remember him smiling ONCE in his first book. but seeing him smile to reassure her after he's literally been through hell is so nice. i am beginning to see why people like him now. i take back the mean things i said

if i had a nickel for every time the most beautiful woman in the land had a scar that accentuated and multiplied her beauty, i would only have 2 nickels but it's weird that it's happened twice (shiori's stepmother from six crimson cranes). it's very slayed of them. more appreciation for scars PLEASE.

"My Selene" HELP THAT'S SO TENDER??? i am already feeling feelings

these childhood best friends have absolutely NO business flirting with each other this hard

i'm sorry but can kai even cook?? i highly doubt it he's literally royalty there is no way (note: i KNEW that he couldn't cook)

17TH KISS?????

FINALLY SCARLET AT CHAPTER 5 I THOUGHT I WOULD EXPLODE WITHOUT HER

scarlet's relationship with ryu is something i didn't know i needed until now. anyway i love them very much. her emotional support wolf

i wonder how scarlet's finger is healing up

scarlet is so helplessly gay for winter lmao

i'm honestly surprised that scarlet is trusting winter's word that her friends are alive

ngl it's very apalling and sickening that a race of people that can use their gift to command someone to do anything they like, such as telling the truth, the lunars instead choose to TORTURE answers out of people. it's the ultimate display of torture being a method of exerting power rather than to actually try and find answers

i LOVE how marissa meyer throws together so many duos of characters and really lets them bond. it's so nice to see cress help wolf now so casually with the benoit farm when she used to be terrified of him during the kidnapping of kai - oh lol nevermind she's still terrified lmao. but this is still good progress and i'm living for it and i can't wait to see them become closer!! imagine him as an older brother figure for her~

since we have no idea who cinder's father is imagine if her nameless father is in fact wolf's father

knowing what wolf and scarlet are like about tomatoes. insufferable fandom culture have probably made tomatoes their entire personalities in like

FIRST JACIN POV CHAPTER

"Dreaming was for people with nothing better to do." okay emo bastard. try not being blonde and looking like a disney prince and then get back to me (seriously i'm imagining him as those vaguely femboy tiktok guys with like long wispy hair in a manbun and is vaguely elflike and uh oh am i just picturing legolas but with shoulder length hair?? fuck me dead)

TWO jacin chapters in a row?? i'm being treated to the works. thank you miss marissa meyer

i will admit,,, that the banter that winter and jacin have is quite delicious (context: he's just been made her personal guard for the first time)

the way that winter and jacin are literally foils for levana and evret makes me froth at the mouth. will not be elaborating i MUST READ no time (or braincells) for analysation

THORNE CAN SEE AGAIN aaaaaaand he's being weird about cress. i hate it here

i love how instead of being all jealous that cinder and thorne have spent all this time together kai says almost the EXACT same thing about thorne being competition as thorne did when he found out about kai. love triangle except they're only doing it for the meme. so real of them (except thorne please stop creeping on teenage girls challenge)

note: reactions with photos are now gonna be their own posts because trying to figure out the formatting was a nightmare and i'm too tired for this shit. tag list does not apply to that because again i'm too lazy. peace and love <3

@eddisfargo @francforever @winterrhayle @winterpinetrees @shellyseashell

[bittertarot]

Part 2 for the post for THE anon !!

If the same anon is reading this, hello !! I'm nicknaming you THE anon, your energy seems oddly familiar, I'm assuming we haven't met in person/messaged before, though. If you would prefer a letter or specific emoji as your nickname, feel free to send another ask and lmk what you would like it to be <3 ANYWAYS, we are moving onto the actual advice part that isn't just me rambling about my own experience !! So, let me be helpful for once and give you a breakdown from my experience + other friends experiences on how to identify if the person you're dreaming of is your FS or your delusions !! Imo, biggest hint should be trusting your gut feeling/intuition. You're 100% going to have this feeling of like being reeled in by this person, sucked into their world. Your heart may feel like it's about to implode, but you'll feel very drawn to the person. If your gut feeling is telling you there's more to them, TRUST IT! Your intuition will never lie to you, promise. My FS is someone I've had feelings for in at least 1 past life, too. So, I had incredibly strong feelings for him immediately. I had no clue why, though? So, TRUST. YOUR. MF. INTUITION. PLEASE!! Next, if the dreams follow a storyline/timeline, you might be watching your potential future unfold in front of you within the dream. This might be because it IS your future! Also, if the dream feels incredibly real. If it feels real, like a fever dream or even like you're hallucinating it, there must be a depth of truth to it aside from just scientific "manifestation of your desires". Biggest hint for me was the fact I couldn't control my actions within the dream, I had my own thoughts in my head but I could never say the words I wanted to say. It all felt pre-decided, like how it felt like my future already being decided by a higher being. It felt so strange, I felt possessed, to an extent?? Just by a mature, calmer, version of me. Those are my main pieces of advice for how you can tell if they are/are not your FS!! If ya'll want a more detailed "guide"/"explanation" of this, feel free to send an ask and I'll get 'round to it at some point <33 In your case, I think it's more of a decision that comes from what YOU actually want, anon ! Not something pre-decided for you, not karmic, but certainly fateful for whoever. I suppose you could say you have 2 FS. I have had some dreams with like what would have happened if I chose love interest #2, but they were very brief and not as detailed or memorable as the ones with my FS. I'm 100% gonna TRY to avoid clubs !! If I can't, that means future me lost her mind ig LMAO Gonna do a part 3 on this since Tumblr hates meee

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: Incorrect Eyes

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙵𝚎𝚋. 𝟽𝚝𝚑 || 𝙴𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝙳𝚛𝚊𝚏𝚝 𝟷

Another on time Wupdate!! Hell yeah!!

Today I come bearing exciting news: I am nearly finished with the first re-draft of this story!! I should have it done by tomorrow at the latest, and though I was originally going to wait till the end of draft 2 to send it to betas I think I'm gonna send in now. I've gotten to a point where I need eyes on the text that aren't mine and aren't disembodied hallucinations from the text lmao, so we're going to send it to see what other's think.

Mostly that's because of how this text came about. I wrote Incorrect Eyes as a short story, so adding material to it and expanding on it has me.... in a pickle. I want to stay true to the timeline of the original short story but there needs to be more to make it to 20k words and a novella status

So off to betas at the end of the week it is! Imma get their thoughts on the new inclusions and whether I can squeeze some more in there or if I should keep it shorter!

Right now we're at 6k words, with an anticipated end of 10k words by the time I sent the draft. The end goal is 20k, but doubling word count is much easier than bulking it up by a factor of 5 [i'm going from 1.7k ish in the original to 10k]

I'm also thinking of working with an artist to make this an illustrated work, though I'm not sure I've found someone with the right sketchy vibe yet. Looking for someone who creates messy, sketchy, disorganized art in a highly curated and specific way is hard lmao.

Once I hand this draft off to betas, I'm going to pivot to Desecrate. This will help me not stress while they all read, so expect next week's wupdate to be about Kit and Adonai and how their story has evolved into a whole new beast!

Anyways, here's the snippie for this week:

Every person I approach on the street looks at me in fear before rushing away, herding their children in clothes nicer than I’ve ever owned away from me. That’s fair, I suppose. It takes me walking two blocks down to find someone, anyone, who will tell me the time and I don’t believe them. It can’t be 3 AM, I refuse to believe it. I left the study room a little after 1, there’s no what I spent two fucking hours navigating the aisle of books. But when they show me the screen of their phone, that’s exactly what it says. 3:05 AM. More importantly, though, is the date shown just below the large numbers. Sunday, December 25th. Christmas. Fuck, I missed midnight mass. I was supposed to go with Momma, she’s probably worried sick. My hand twitches at my side, itching to dig into my pocket and check my notifications. I will have to call her when I get back to the library, explain to her why I missed mass on tonight of all nights after promising her I would be there. She’ll understand, I hope. Then again she’ll probably just tell me what my therapist told me before I stopped going. I shove the thought of my mother to the back of my mind as I thank the stranger and continue walking down the block.

TAGLIST

@winterandwords @crypticcodexcreations @inkspellangel @smol-feralgremlin @joswriting

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[lightlycareless]

chapter 30 has me CLIMBING the WALLS

the visceral uncomfortableness of a dead silent car ride with these two,,,, i can not even begin to imagine it. the tension in there was so heavy and so dense i’m shocked it didnt make a black hole

first thought when naoya took a suddenly different turn on the street was “oh so we’re getting murdered in an alleyway??? left to die??” he does not come off with good vibes for himself at ALL. luckily its just for more doctors appointments. deeply sorry to every individual that had to be around these twos painfully obvious rift

EVERYTIME NAOYA TRIED TO TALK TO HER… i know hes done nothing to properly redeem himself but ohmygod i can feel the awkward pains. kudos to him for not just like bursting into tears in the elevator when she turned away. i would’ve been a mess.

i’m gonna THROTTLE this doctor (also y/n girl i get the frustration but what did you WANT him to SAY for you on the cheating question,,, if he speaks over you to answer i know you aren’t going to like that either he can NOT win this one,,,) - and also the one time naoya pulls himself together to assist by showing the ultrasound that gets just shot down as well. we are on a losing battle. naoya stans stay losing 😔

incredible balls to try for the “wanna get something to eat?” a SECOND time. that play failed MISERABLY last time and its already been a string of horrible events today but lets GO king!!🗣️💯🔥give us nothing!! 🔥🔥❗️💯

concluding- naoya has been exuding CRITICAL levels of shaking chihuahua and cringefail energy ft. y/n desperately trying to Hold It Together. exquisite chapter. looking forward to the next as always

AUGHAUAH I ALREADY SENT A CHAPTER 30 ASK BUT I REREAD IT THIS MORNING N WENT BACK OVER THE “test her condition” PART- not sure how i left this outta the last one that had me so fried

but am i hallucinating or is naoya… also hesitant about that? i know that its just two words “Naoya swallows” but it SOUNDS like he’s got just. the barest hint. the barest idea that perhaps,,, maybe,, that would be a bad thing to do. now if he knows the WHY of why it would be bad is a completely different question, but it at least reads as if he faintly understands he should NOT do that again.

(feel free to just like. screenshot this and throw it in w the bigger one lmaoo i still can’t believe i left this out its huge)

Hello!!!!

HAHAHAH I’m glad you’re suffering, I mean, enjoying the latest update 😊 Also, don't worry about the asks hehe you can send in as many as you want! I looooooove reading and answering them 🥺❤

Now, Imagine if someone decided to accompany them? I don’t know, like Ranta. I think the poor boy would’ve been like “omg… Naoya really has no chance” lol OR WORSE, NAOAKI FOR SURE Y/N WOULD’VE IGNORED NAOYA EVER MORE HAHAHA

“Y/N” Naoya calls “Is there something you’d like to—”

“Naoaki, look! There’s snow on the mountains! No wonder it’s so cold, guess we'll need more than a few blankets tonight”

Naoaki: 😳

Naoya cries, mind going on and on about what did Y/N mean with “we’ll” before remembering the night he saw him leave her chambers.

And I’m pretty sure that’s what Y/N thought too when they headed somewhere else lol she has long accepted that nothing good will come from him (but she didn’t expect it to happen so soon!!! She feared Hitomi and Haruko were going to be like GODDAMN IT I TOLD YOU TO NOT GO. Also, wasn't Naobito in charge of that!!?!?!) but thank God it was just him doing (1) of his many commitments towards Y/N, which considering whom they came from, mean nothing.

I’d hate to be the person attending them :s luckily… we’ll have something of that perspective next chapter (if I don’t discard it 🤭)

The worst part of Naoya’s continuous failing attempts would definitely have to be the way Y/N just turned away hahahah I was like DAMN girl, even if she was somewhat afraid of doing anything because of his outburst she really did that. And Naoya took it lmao straight to the heart. Good.

As for Naoya crying… heh. 😊 I just realized we haven’t seen him do that… interesting, I think you might like that one chapter.

The whole doctor thing was just awful. He was really out there, jabbing at anyone he could 😳 I’m surprised he didn’t kick it up a notch and slander Toji too. Though I think Naobito was like “No, Naoya is sensitive and he might actually kill you so chill, I still have use for you” lol

I’ll still defend Y/N by saying she hasn’t cheated on Naoya but…. I mean, the emotional department… that’s long gone hahahahahahahahahahhahahaahhahahaha Still, wtf is this man going over and over about that particular topic? Like, we get it. You want to know. Ok, sure, maybe she’s gotten something but these two for sure haven’t so NEXT. Shouldn't we be talking about Naoya in that sense???

As for the ultrasound part, I actually was like “huh, impressive Naoya decided to actually stand up and do something” maybe to get his money’s worth, or probably to reveal “WHAT THE HELL DO THESE THINGS MEAN????? IS THERE A BABY THERE OR NOT” get outta here... and how he reacted to the rest of the procedures I was just like yep, there he is... usual Naoya.

This man is grasping at straws at this point, inviting her out to eat was the evidence of that lol. If Y/N was a bit more… assertive and fearless, she would’ve been like “are you serious right now? You want me to get sentenced to death again? Sir, I only have one life, GOODBYE”

As for the “test her condition”… it’s the doctor instigating Y/N and Naoya again with Naoaki lol. I don’t know what this man is thinking, seriously. Probably that Y/N was abstaining to do the deed in a more pleasurable way 🤮and the way he was disappointed that there was no heartbeat or a fetus in there wtf lol.

Naoya is hesitant because of Naoaki more than anything, as well as the fact that he can’t get near Y/N at all, his father’s conditions for her survival looming in the back of his mind.

If it helps to give some peace of mind, Naoya does not have it in him to force himself on Y/N again, at least… not now. Because he knows if he crosses that line again, she’ll definitely run towards Naoaki and never leave, and his marriage is DONE. GONE. (can’t be a good person just cause, eh??)

Both characters are on a really tight spot, but I guess in an emotional distress Naoya is in the worse position as of right now. (Y/N is used to it in a way, while he’s barely comprehending what’s going on around him, he's got a whoooole world of turmoil to comprehend, and more to come lmao)

But as you said, we're out here cheering for Naoya lmao!!! Indeed, go give us nothing 😂😂 And the way you described Naoya as a chihuahua... lmao, couldn't be more accurate.

I'm so glad you like this chapter!! It gets me excited for the rest which I cannot wait to show :> !!!!!

Once again, thank you so much for tuning in for another update ❤ also, if there's more things you wish to know or just share my askbox is always open 🤭I looooooooove reading your comments ngl 😭 it often provides me perspectives I fail to see, thank you so much 🥺❤

I hope you have a wonderful week, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[tenpintsofsundrop]

💥

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

I honestly didn't think anybody was going to send these and I'm so excited that someone did!!!

This is such an interesting question, because I don't write for one fandom consistently, so this answer would be vastly different for every fandom that I write for - and for some fandoms, like TWD, I would probably have a lot of nitpicks because the canon is so extensive.

But because I have been getting back into writing Titans fanfiction, I will talk about something from the canon of that show that I really wish I could change.

(Spoilers for Titans below, if you haven't seen the show before and you want to - this will spoil major plot points of the show for you.)

Hank's death is an easy answer, because it's stupid.

If the actor had to leave the show, then they could have just - had him leave. Especially because since their first episode, Hank and Dawn kept wanting to retire from the masked hero lifestyle, and I think this has become kind of radical in storytelling, but I think a happy/calm ending can be more shocking - especially for traumatized characters - than an ending where someone dies and their loved ones have to go on being incomplete and fucked up because of that death.

Like - give me an ending where they run a sobriety center for traumatized youth. Clearly they were good at it. Give me an ending where Hank's efforts to help Jason actually have Jason responding to that genuine kindness, and even if his plan was to kill Hank, he goes back on that plan because that kindness speaks to his heart.

So - I would have much rather that S3 ended with 'Hank and Dawn finally retire' instead of 'Hank dies'.

Also - another easy one: Gar is kidnapped and tortured by Cadmus.

The whole 'brain surgery' Gar storyline is something I fucking hate.

There is no proper emotional resolution to it by the end of the season - whatever comfort or catharsis Gar should get is completely distracted and trampled over by Donna's death (which is a non-plot line because a demi-god like her shouldn't have died from something like that, and they only killed her so that they could bring her back in a later episode). Gar was probably feeling intense guilt, trauma, fear, etc. over having unwillingly used his powers to kill and injure more than a dozen people, and nobody comforted him about it, nobody asked him what he was feeling, nobody tried to talk to him about it.

And then - and then, they have the nerves (especially Conner, of all people?) to mock him later on in S3 for not using his powers to their full extent and having a 'psychological block' from being able to use his powers. Like hmm, it's almost like he's terrified of his own capabilities with no resolution. It's no wonder he can't transform into a bunch of other animals at will and it seems like he's holding back.

To me, I think a much better storyline would have been - Gar hides in a closet while Conner is kindapped by Cadmus, he feels extreme guilt for 'letting' Conner get kidnapped, and then, while the team is still split apart, he is the heart that rallies everyone back together to help save Conner.

Gar is very clearly supposed to be the team's soft one. The heart, the emotional soft spot. The first time I watched S2, I was waiting for Gar to give the emotional speech (similar to Glenn's 'we don't burn them' or 'that's still who we are. it has to be') that brought everyone back together - and then Rachel conjured a fucking hallucination of Bruce Wayne in a diner.

That should have been Gar's moment.

Gar should have been the one to trick everyone into getting back together, sat them all down, and gave a heartfelt speech that got everyone working together - especially if it was for the sake of saving Conner. He shouldn't have been captured and tortured alongside Conner. It's so fucking dumb.

There's probably so many other answers, but that's what fix-it fics are for lmao. I have already written a fix-it fic for one of my biggest issues - the episode with Jason's suicide attempt. and I could probably get so many more fics out of that episode alone.

But overall, I watch the show for the characters rather than the plot lmao

[scattered-winter]

well well my keyword for you is: magic system. do you have one and is it hard, soft, something in between??? tell me about it :D. also hope your day has been nice <3<3<3<3<3

I'm pulling from the jaykyle fantasy au that's been gathering dust in my docs for ,, nearly 6 months now lmao!! but I'm super proud of the magic system I built for it and tbh I love it so much I might implement some aspects of it into some og fantasy stories I have because it's sooo <333

it's.....somewhere between hard and soft, I think. like. the system is built around color (like lantern rings), so certain "colors" of magic can do things that other colors can't, but even then there are exceptions. there's some really big, very fundamental, completely unbreakable laws that apply to all magic types, and there are smaller rules that might apply to only a few and that could be bent/worked around if so desired, so I think it's a solid mix between hard and soft <3

every main lantern color is a specific type of magic, but colors can also be combined to make subtypes (kind of like how some firebenders can also redirect lightning in avatar the last airbender).

red = blood magic

orange = alchemy

yellow = mind magic

green = glyph/construct magic

blue = healing magic

indigo = flora/fauna magic

violet = star magic

black = death magic

white = life magic

blood magic at its core is the most powerful when the user draws his own blood, but some groups of blood mages have started using the blood of other people/animals which isn't as effective but its easier to harvest someone else's blood than your own. mind magic basically means that a yellow mage can manipulate someone with hallucinations, visions, or even by tampering with their emotions. green magic creates constructs, and the more powerful green mages can make glyphs that have gravitational/propulsion properties (inspired by these glyphs from rwby). indigo mages can control plants and animals, and each mage usually specializes in one over the other. star magic draws power from the sun and stars, and some mages literally suck the life from the stars to power their magic.

red/orange = blood alchemy

red/yellow = earth magic

red/green = air magic?

red/blue = water magic

red/indigo = fire magic

red/violet = storm magic

red/black = hollow magic (sucking life from living things for spells)

orange/yellow = academia magic (spellbooks, chalk circles, etc)

orange/green = trick magic (illusions)

orange/blue = advanced healing magic (slowing aging, replacing limbs, etc)

orange/indigo = herb potions

orange/violet = constellation magic (star positions)

orange/black = death alchemy

yellow/green = creation magic (creations with minds of their own but no souls)

yellow/blue = soul magic

yellow/indigo = animal magic (channeling animal auras)

yellow/violet = emotion magic

yellow/black = terror magic

green/blue = repair magic

green/indigo = growth magic

green/violet = summoning magic

green/black = dark glyph magic (using your own or other life forces to power glyphs)

blue/indigo = healing magic (specializing in plants/animals)

blue/violet = clairvoyance magic

blue/black = aura magic

indigo/violet = celestial magic (sun and moon)

indigo/black = decay magic

black/white = lazarus magic

I'm still not sure how the main strains of color magic coincide with the combinations, but ideally a red mage would be able to at least dabble in all the red combinations. the rules get kinda bendable on the individual color level, but the overall sphere of magic has some very strict fundamental laws. the biggest and most important: everything has an equal and opposing force. black magic is very powerful and terrifying, but white magic is just as powerful, and they cancel each other out. no spell is completely invincible from other spells, because no matter how many safeguards there are, there will always be something that can counteract.

send me a keyword and I'll tell you something from my brain (aus, ocs, etc) that relates to it

[rikerxworf]

Star Trek: The Next Generation Eye of the Beholder

[ID: Three gifs from TNG, showing Riker and Worf talking in Ten Forward. Riker says, "Mister Worf, you sound like a man who's asking his friend if he can start dating his sister." Worf then gets flustered and says, with a shocked expression, "No! No, I - I was merely-" before frustratedly adding, "Never mind. Excuse me, sir." He leaves in a hurry. End ID.]

[strangerthings4theories]

Ok so I don't personally think Billy is coming back alive but I also don't think he was purely a Vecna-induced hallucination (as I've seen suggested). I suspect his mind-whammied body or spirit or something remains in the UD and I reckon he'll have at least one more scene as a zombie or similar.

Why?

I've not seen anyone else mention this, but Billy's scar prosthetics are actually really very odd if this is just a vision Vecna designed for Max. What's odd about them?

They're scars.

I don't have the scene to hand (I'm sure you do) but I could have sworn we saw Billy get through-and-throughed by the mind flayers tentacle, exactly where the Billy Max saw has a gaping hole in his vest. Yet when Max sees Billy this hole is healed over — the gap in the shirt isn't open on the wound we saw him get but on scarring. And that's weird: not to state the obvious, but corpses don't usually heal over.

There's four reasons I can personally think of why they'd make that choice, and none really makes sense. I'm sure there's stuff I've not thought of. (Excluding the copout of "this was easier" — they went to a lot of effort to add scarring in places that aren't even visible, and between practical effects and CGI I'm sure they could have done an open wound if that was what they wanted.)

1) this is how Max pictures him in her head for some reason, even though she never saw that. Vecna is just using the image she subconsciously believes in. This seems weird to me — if Max was going to picture Billy as a ghost, wouldn't she either picture him as he was in life or with the wounds she last saw him with? Why picture him looking a way he never looked during his life or death? (Similarly, his face is clean rather than covered in black blood)

2) this is based on some kind of remains of Billy that survive in the upside down and somehow managed to heal — Vecna is drawing on his own personal experience for the role for some reason. Maybe it's part of his method? (As I recall the other teenage victims only have auditory hallucinations. Creel senior enters the mindscape, but then Vecna knows him)

3) this actually is some kind of aspect of Billy that Vecna has trapped and is able to puppeteer. It looks physically different to how Billy looked at his death because changes have actually occurred in that timeframe.

4) there's some kind of Doyleist explanation, they're doing it for the horror — but surely scarring is less "horror" than a massive wound...

So yeah. Some choices were made, I personally really want to know why, and I thought you'd find the analysis fun even if it probably doesn't point to a living Billy

This is really fun post, thanks for sending it in!

Yeah the whole thing is... confusing. Sarah's already made a couple posts about it. Me, I'm just kinda goin 'wtf' and wishing I had more information lmao

And to add a lil more ✨ spice ✨ to the question, I was just reminded of a theory I'm developing that the Upside Down "remembers" its victims (and anything it comes into contact with, really) by storing copies of them.

So now I'm like...??? Is Vecna using a copy of Billy?? Does Billy still exist in the Upside Down, like a file buried in a computer's directory?

SOMEONE EXPLAIN

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cherry Magic

Liveblogging my CM re-watch in anticipation of the movie LOL

It’s fun that Kurosawa reacts to Adachi’s fall before we meet him

“So, you are a virgin?” “Not so loud!” I know they’re establishing the premise of the show, but kgkjgh isn’t this guy Adachi’s superior? Where is the HR department at this stationery company LOL

The premise, for anyone wondering, is that that if you’re not sexually active by age 30, you will develop magical powers. It’s a much more sincere and lovely show than you might think based on that description

“I’ve fallen in love before.” I didn’t notice this the first time I watched this, but they really do drop that Adachi has some kind of romantic history and then never, ever mention it again

Adachi, unsolicited, about Kurosawa, thinking that this is an envy thing: His smile is blinding. He is so handsome. I fantasize about him in different sports uniforms. I think about this such a normal amount. Anyway. Back to work! 

Of the three times I’ve watched this episode, this is the first time I realized Romance Writer Tsuge’s name appears this early in the show. Also I forgot his name was Masato

“No way, I can really use magic now?” I admire Adachi’s faith in magic. If I started hearing voices everywhere I went, I think I’d assume I was having a mental breakdown: 

“Who’s that lucky girl that our extremely popular Kurosawa likes?” Adachi’s little smile about Kurosawa’s thoughts before he realizes what’s happening is very cute

“Maybe everything that happened so far, like my ability to read minds, is just a delusion, and those are auditory hallucinations. There’s no way Kurosawa likes someone like me.” INCREDIBLE that Adachi was willing to believe in virginity-touch-telepathy-magic for a full week until he bumps into Kurosawa and hears that he has a crush on Adachi and THEN Adachi was like ‘Unrealistic. Blocked.’

"I was just thinking you’re kind of amazing,” said Adachi to Kurosawa, for literally just sorting papers. Get you a man that will mentally compliment you literally every time he looks at you 

Kurosawa said: I will see that barrage of mental compliments and raise you, four MORE

They really do keep you hooked with immediately sending Adachi to Kurosawa’s house at the end of EP1

Adachi upon seeing that Kurosawa has one (1) houseplant: What’s with all the glamour in this room!!

“I bought these pyjamas thinking they’d suit Adachi, but to have him actually wear them...” There’s a certain level of bald-faced confidence in this act from Kurosawa, considering they weren’t even friends until now lmao

Kurosawa said: Plan for the boyfriend you want to have, not the co-worker you do!

Also Kurosawa’s vaguely lustful mental montages about Adachi in pyjamas do make me laugh a little

“If I knew [how to react], I wouldn’t be a virgin for 30 years.” Hear me out. Hear me out. There is a SLIGHT implication here that if Adachi was better with responding to flirting, he might’ve fucked Kurosawa this very night

I really do appreciate that they go out of their way to emphasize that Kurosawa would not do anything to harm Adachi. I’ve seen some hard-to-swallow tropes in this sphere and Cherry Magic said that’s not us

Neither Adachi nor Kurosawa being able to sleep well because they stay up thinking about each other is v sweet:

“He’s so refreshing so early in the morning.” This particular compliment HAS to come across less oddly in Japanese LOL

“I’ll have to ask him for advice,” said Adachi, about to ask for romantic feedback from the most awkward person he knows

Although, in fairness to Tsuge, he does warn Adachi several times that he’s not the person to go to for romantic advice

“If it were Fujisaki-san who likes me, perhaps I wouldn’t be this troubled? No, I would probably still be troubled.” That’s bisexuality baybeee. Can vouch that all romantic directions can be equally troubling

It’s not like. Confirmed-confirmed in the show that Adachi is bi, but I think it’s sort of implied through the mention that he has been in love before, while Kurosawa seems to be the first time he’s romantically considered men! 

One thing I also love is that the romantic ails between Kurosawa and Adachi are NOT related to internalized homophobia. The fact they’re both men is mentioned on occasion, but only in reference to other people and how they might think. Their romantic story is FULLY about their own self-concepts

“I just want to see Adachi. I want hear his voice. I’d like him to smile if possible. Adachi wouldn’t want anything more than this.” KUROSAWAAA

“I can’t just... ignore it.” ADACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Adachi summoning up all the courage in his body to ask Kurosawa to dinner only for their ENTIRE office to join them is peak romcom energy. Look at the face he makes at Rokkaku. This is quite possibly the maddest he is over the course of the whole show:

“Am I giving him the wrong idea?” asked Adachi to himself, after literally responding to Kurosawa’s romantic feelings by asking him out

Adachi just running to the bathroom whenever things get a little too much for him is very relatable 

When Adachi finds out that Rokkaku actually didn’t want this party and immediately finds an excuse to get him out of the party. It’s not just that he has magic, it’s his good heart 🥺💗 I love him

Meanwhile, we check in with Romance Writer Tsuge, who has, in the course of a half-hour, found out he too has Magical Virgin Telepathy AND has the hots for his deliveryman

Kurosawa noticing Adachi is worried about being dared to kiss him and redirects to kiss his forehead while mentally apologizing 🥺🥺🥺 I love them both

The way Kurosawa’s smile drops as he turns around always gets me 

“I didn’t hate... your kiss.” Adachi going out of his way to explain that even though even though he was worried about kissing, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to kiss Kurosawa 💞💞💞

Rooftop romance: 

I gotta say, there is something funny about Adachi being the one to instigate him and Kurosawa getting involved twice in a row (asking him to dinner, implying that he wouldn’t mind kissing him) and then going: 🚨💥🚨 WEE OO WEE OO I AM AFRAID OF ROMANCE WEE OO WEE OO 🚨💥🚨

“Or rather, Kurosawa was deep inside me all at once.” There HAS TO BE phrasing for this feeling with less innuendo LMAO

HAHAHAHAHAHA how does everyone at Adachi’s office building not think he’s insane for slamming his head against the elevator. At least Tsuge was at home

“He’s [one of] the flashy ‘party people’ kind I hate.” Seems a lot of judgement for someone who has only ever handed you deliveries, Tsuge. Is this purely cause he’s blond LOL

“I want to know more about him, but I still chickened out.” Rome(ance) wasn’t built in a day, Adachi 

Not disagreeing with you on how much fun you can have being single, Adachi, but I do think you happen to already be balls deep in romance:

“If you think that such a cute girl likes you, wouldn’t your heart beat faster than this?” Not when you already have feelings for someone elseeee

“This is the reason for the fear I’ve been feeling all along. I’m afraid of going any deeper and being a disappointment.” Adachi realizing the root of his romantic reservations are thinking he’s not good enough for Kurosawa ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Sweet man

I do love the reveal that Fujisaki is ace. When I first watched it, I did think for a second she was saying she liked Adachi in the elevator but actually she was just confirming: Gay rights! Solidarity! Yeehaw

“Rather than doing nothing, I want to do whatever I can.” KUROSAWAAAAAA 

Adachi learning that Kurosawa is worried about pushing Adachi away by being too present and immediately assuring him verbally that he appreciates his presence 💖💖

“‘From what I can see, Fujisaki-san is working hard. She looks happy every day, so don’t worry.’ I will tell your mother that.” ADACHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Underrated moment: Adachi throwing all of his things at Urabe for no real reason as he marches over to help Kurosawa. His desk is on the way!!! Lmaoooo

Adachi using his magic intentionally to help Kurosawa with work troubles and growing more confident in his ability to help people <3 

Every time Romance Writer Tsuge and Flashy Minato interact I cannot help but think of this post 

“The real reason I’m able to take a step forward like this, is because Kurosawa fell in love with me.” Get you a relationship that makes you strive to be more confident and work towards your goals 

The first tip-off that this woman is not Kurosawa’s ex should have been that Rokkaku is the one who said it. He is by far the least observant person on this show

Adachi’s jealousy dream sequence about them makes me uncomfy, knowing she’s actually Kurosawa’s sister kjhgkjghkjgh

“It’s people like that who seem so natural next to Kurosawa,” said Adachi, like he’s not also hot 

Incredible how Adachi micro-dosing hallucinogens by drinking like six bottles of cough syrup bc he’s upset at the prospect Kurosawa MIGHT have had a girlfriend ONCE is not a giant waving flag to himself that he has caught feelings lmaooo. The only mind he is unable to read is his own 

“I will feel sad if Kurosawa has a change of heart.” You’re so close, Adachi 🤏

The little relieved expression when Adachi finds out she’s his sister 💖

Adachi’s surprise that Kurosawa wants to take care of him when he’s sick instead of thinking lustful thoughts never fails to get me

“You can stay here as long as you like.” Adachi inviting Kurosawa to stay with him indefinitely and then immediately freaking out bc Kurosawa imagines them making dinner and doing laundry together. Maybe the real magic was Kurosawa’s ability to break through this fear of commitment hahahahah

At least once a week Adachi does something to initiate closeness between them and then the 🚨💥🚨 WEE OO WEE OO 🚨💥🚨 starts again

Adachi inviting Coworker Rokkaku over to avoid the romantic consequences of his own actions and then the scene immediately cutting to Tsuge saying, “Love makes people stupid,” is poetic cinema 

I’m glad that Romance Writer Tsuge wasn’t rewarded for his strategy of asking for deliveries every hour to see his crush LOL

“An uncle like you getting heart flutters creeps me out.” The wild vibes between Minato and Tsuge is also enhanced by the fact that Minato looks like he’s 22 at best and Tsuge emits the vibes of someone who is 30 going on 47 

Presented without commentary:

I think of all of the ways they could handle the fact they’re dealing with boundary issues, Kurosawa tucking Adachi in and then reaching towards his cheek and while Adachi is fully aware of that decides to pull away from Kurosawa is the best possible way they could handle it. The scene still sits heavy on me, but I think it’s well-done. It also kind of shows that Kurosawa is on his last straw for holding back his feelings

I am also realizing it is immediate foreshadowing for the confession scene when they both do the same thing

“If it were me, I’d be so happy.” Kurosawaaaaaaaaaa

“I’ve got to stop him from leaving. But what do I do after I stop him?” TELL HIM YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW HIM ADACHI, LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SAYING TO YOURSELF FOR 6 EPISODES

Kurosawa’s face falling after he confesses always feels so oof. He never wants to show people when he’s hurt so he waits until he’s far enough away from Adachi to let go

It’s very good acting, but the fact that Kurosawa’s main difficulty in life is that he’s so handsome that no one ever thinks about his personality makes me laugh:

(🎶 Hot girls we have problems too, we’re just like you, except we’re hot 🎶)

“We could do with more young guys.” President Matsura is icky

“Drink up, you’re a man.” Everything about Matsura is the worst. Get got

PARK BENCH ROMANCE:

Kurosawa after Adachi tells him he is allowed to be vulnerable one (1) time: I am going to keep this man in my heart forever

What I also like about this flashback sequence is that it shows that Adachi has always had this desire and ability to comfort people, and that these powers are just one new way to facilitate a talent he already had

“It didn’t take long for me to fall for him.” It is also sweet that Kurosawa’s feelings are not a recent thing, because it doubles down on it being about who Adachi is 💓

“Before I knew it, I was searching for Kurosawa. I was thinking of Kurosawa. The next thing I knew, my mind was full of Kurosawa. That’s right! I...” He got there eventually!!

LOVE that as Kurosawa agrees that he understands it’s easier to just be coworkers, Adachi firmly tells him, “Listen to me,” as he’s about to confess. Parallels to the previous rooftop scene where Kurosawa tries to give him an out, and Adachi refuses it and makes sure that Kurosawa knows his feelings: 

“Maybe I became a magic user... so that I can touch his heart.” 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗 

What’s also nice about this line is that Kurosawa has already said in this same episode that Adachi touched his heart YEARS before now. The magic only brought awareness to Kurosawa’s feelings. But it is so, so sweet that Adachi thinks the main purpose or blessing of his powers is getting closer to Kurosawa 

“Does that mean... I can go to your place?” I like how quickly Kurosawa pivots to flirting with Adachi at each and every opportunity as soon as he finds out their love is requited

We now revisit the plight of Romance Writer Tsuge as he crashes their date

Fujisaki and Tsuge noticing Kurosawa and Adachi making googly eyes at each other at work and home respectively kjghkjgh

Meanwhile, Kurosawa watching Tsuge and Adachi have an entirely telepathic conversation and thinking maybe that they’re just both very socially awkward

Kurosawa’s mental poem about Adachi kjhgkjghk in a show about magical virginity telepathy, it is perhaps the most embarrassing thing that happens the whole time, surprisingly. I love it regardless

I won’t lie to you, I had a hard time recognizing Rokkaku the first time because of his Weekend Hairstyle and Outfit LMAO 

“That’s a nice name.” “What? You didn’t know his name? That’s funny.” HHAHAHA Flashy Minato going from Tsuge not knowing his name on EP8 to having sex with him in EP9 or smth is HILARIOUS

Hahahaha Adachi asking Kurosawa if he can read minds is also him simultaneously asking Kurosawa if he is a virgin

“What’s with you, Uncle?” “....Uncle?” The funniest part of this episode is how upset Kurosawa is when he gets called Ossan hahaha

The smile Adachi gives Kurosawa before he decides to tell Tsuge they’re together ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 💗💗💗💗💗💗:

The hand-holding while smiling and thinking affectionately at each other is really coming for my entire brand of things that I enjoy. All I am is two queer people in a trenchcoat in mutual understanding and companionship, holding hands

I don’t actually care that much that the protagonists don’t get a kiss, but it IS wild that the people they choose to have the first kiss on this show are Flashy Minato and his rude ex, with the world’s most closed-mouth, mouth-hovering, not-even-wanted-by-the-main-character-in-narrative kiss just so Tsuge can have yet another mental breakdown lmao

“It’s been 9 days since we started dating. It can get confusing at times, but days like this aren’t too bad.” Adachi literally counting the days. He is in looooove 

He is so noticeably happy that his colleagues comment on it and he has to try to keep himself from smiling when texting Kurosawa:

Shout-out to Udon the Cat, caught in the middle of Romance Writer Tsuge and Flashy Minato’s delivery divorce

Kurosawa eating a grain of rice off of Adachi’s face like they’re not in the middle of their office cafeteria and Adachi thanking him for it like that was a normal thing to do kghjghjghkjghg. Pick a lane about hiding your relationship or not!! [Tsuge voice] Love makes you stupid 

The now-more-than-vaguely-lustful mental montages about Adachi in nightwear have returned

Adachi said: 🚨💥 WEE OO WEE OO THE FEAR IS BACK 🚨💥

"Is it really okay for me to be here? I don’t know what’s going on at all.” “It’s okay. I don’t know what’s going on either.” Relationships are built on common ground. Also Rokkaku drinking iced coffee in a rage behind them really adds to the vibes

“It’s because he’s gay, isn’t it?” said Rokkaku, not aware he is in a room full of entirely men who are in love with other men 

Minato: I’m part of the LGBTQ community, and this is my best friend Rokkaku. He’s an ally. Talk, Rokkaku

Rokkaku, rugby tackling Tsuge: ALLY!

HAHAHAHA I don’t know that I remembered that Tsuge just goes, “I was avoiding Minato, but not for homophobic reasons,” and then just runs away without explaining ANYTHING to Rokkaku. How did the rest of this hang-out go for the other three

Minato, texting Rokkaku the next morning: Not homophobic. Just homosexual  

This is nothing against Tsuge, but that Minato responds to this screamed confession with, “You are cute, huh,” and decides to sleep with him immediately is a reason I think Minato should see a therapist:

“It might be none of my business, but you looked like you were interested.” Kurosawa encouraging Adachi to go for his stationery contest dreams but phrasing it so it’s about what Adachi wants, not what Kurosawa thinks he should do 💕💕💕💕

“I might really like him a lot.” When they hold one another in the street swaying thinking about how much they like each other 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It’s a nice show

Minato and Tsuge really kiss like they don’t want it on their IMDb page hahahahaha

Shout-out once again to Udon, who bears witness to this coupling

“Although they use the word ‘loss’ you will lose anything.” Tsuge said there’s no slut-shaming in this household 

“No, I don’t mind [losing my virginity] if it’s with Kurosawa... Hey, why am I getting all fuzzy inside? Focus on the competition now! Oh, but... No, I have to do my best. Yes, but..” I love Adachi’s Kurosawa-addled brain, it is very funny

Lmao @ Kurosawa and Adachi spending what seems like every day together and Kurosawa still calling this a practice date

“Do you want to practice for our date?” HAHAHA I forgot that Adachi immediately does the same thing and takes Kurosawa out too. To repeat a joke I have definitely already said: 

Kurosawa and Adachi at their wedding altar: Will you practice marry me? 

“If you aren’t having fun too, then it’s pointless having a date. When you are with me, I want you have fun and smile.” Adachi reminding Kurosawa his feelings are just as important as Adachi’s 💞💞💞💞💞

“Sometimes, you should also depend on me. I like you when you’re perfect, but around me, I hope you will relax a bit more.” IN LOVE WITH THE WAY THEY CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY RESPOND TO EACH OTHER’S NEEDS

Adachi’s guilt over accidentally knowing too much bc of his powers and responding to Kurosawa’s thoughts out loud ahhhhhh 

“All this while, whenever I needed to [know someone’s feelings], I just had to touch them,” said Tsuge, like he ever sees anyone other than Adachi or Minato kjglkjg

I LOVE Adachi and Kurosawa’s training montage for the stationery competition. It makes me happy that they actually incorporated their field of work hahaha. Also I love public speaking. Sue me, I was a Debate Kid

At times like this the props/art department must be grateful for the brevity of kanji because it would probably be incredibly difficult to spell out “Believe in yourself” in seaweed in many a European language

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE this episode is so hard on my heart. Adachi’s magic is kind of like Clark Kent’s football career. It’s not his doing that he has this ability, but it does really change the playing field for everyone involved

Like, is it his fault he was next to the President of the Department on an elevator? No, but it did change the outcome of his presentation. Adachi :((((

“I don’t really know that. Teach me.” Of all the ways Adachi could start this conversation, asking Kurosawa to fuck the powers out of him is truly one of the wildest routes

Nothing has even happened yet but watching Kurosawa think so highly of Adachi while Adachi thinks so lowly of himself 😭😭😭😭

“I don’t think you’re lying. You’re speaking so earnestly. You can’t be lying.” I’ve always thought that Kurosawa takes this news so remarkably well. This man only has nice thoughts

“I want you to make a decision that wouldn’t cause you pain.” KUROSAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

What kills me about this break-up is that it is not because they are incompatible, or any hurt between them, but because they love each other so much, want to do right by each other. Kurosawa wants so badly to give Adachi what he needs, but is self-sacrificing in the process, so he gives Adachi an out in the belief it would be least painful for Adachi. Adachi wants so badly to connect with Kurosawa, but lacks the self-esteem to believe he can provide that without his magic, and so he takes that out in his belief that he is sparing Kurosawa from his own failings. Heartbreaking!!

“You’re easy to read. Both you and Kurosawa-kun,” said Fujisaki, unaware that mind-reading is a very touchy subject for Adachi at this time

I love that Fujisaki is both Adachi and Kurosawa’s safe work friend to talk about their relationship with. They are not good at hiding their feelings so it’s nice they have someone to turn to:

“He said the air has been tense between his seniors lately.” You know your office vibes are off when Rokkaku is the one who notices jkgkghkgjh

“If you get wrong, you can always talk it out. You can slowly get to know him like this.” Romance Writer Tsuge finally has some good romantic advice 

ADACHI SAYING HE WILL KEEP TRYING TO KNOW MORE ABOUT KUROSAWA WHILE KUROSAWA REMINDS ADACHI THAT HIS LOVE HIS NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGIC 😭😭😭💗💗💗

We are back to Kurosawa’s balls-to-the-wall confidence. They don’t even think they’ve been on a date yet, but he is ready with a proposal at this Semi-Spontaneous Rooftop Romance Reunion 

“Please, be with me forever.” “Yes!” Shoot for the moon, and you will land on the roof engaged to your lover watching fireworks set off by your kind-hearted coworkers on Christmas eve:

It is so sweet and funny that Kurosawa and Adachi’s “morning after” clothes are full white undershirts and sweatpants. They are incredibly in their 30s hahahaha

I am almost certainly in the minority here, but I do enjoy that they close the elevators on them about to kiss. I love a cheeky little, you fill in the blanks kind of moment - it’s kind of like, “this is not for you, this is for us” which I enjoy

Plus, given the other kisses in this show that we do see: Not having it directed that same way is probably for the best hahahaha 

Also: They will never stop being romantic at work jflkjflkjf. Everybody in their whole office must know hahahaha 

It is a good show!!! Definitely in my favourites of all time 

Bonus Special Ep 13

I love that Kurosawa, one-year pre-dating, was like, “How can I give Adachi a Valentine’s Day chocolate in the least gay way possible?” And decided to chuck them at him from the other end of the room while saying it was because he didn’t like sweets

A far cry from the confidence of buying the Adachi-sized silk pyjamas 

“Someone gave Adachi true love chocolates?” thought Kurosawa, not considering for even a second that the chocolates at Adachi’s desks could be for him, the person who is dating Adachi

The funniest thing about this episode is that Kurosawa has literally a desk full of chocolate from being Too Handsome To Live, and Adachi does not let that stop him as he gives Kurosawa his gift

Kurosawa’s words about not liking sweets have come back to bite him in the ass through Adachi’s chili pepper true love chocolate

Adachi: Don’t tell me you don’t like spicy stuff.

Kurosawa, choking back tears through a mouthful: No, not at all. I love them! 

Adachi, laughing: You must be lying. 

Kurosawa, absolutely lying, still choking: Nope, I love it. 

“Kurosawa is super handsome inside and out.” U right, Rokkaku. Said it earlier but this man only has nice thoughts

Rokkaku using everyone of his braincells to figure out what’s going on between Kurosawa and Adachi like these two don’t make googly eyes at each other all day and kiss in their office elevator

Ghjghkjgh Rokkaku spending all of his time with Adachi and Kurosawa popping up from the shadows cause he’s not a fan of Rokkaku trying to date his boyfriend:

“Kurosawa-san and Adachi-san are... They are working together... to nurture and groom me!” Rokkaku said: How can I make this relationship about me

Though, in fairness to Rokkaku, most of Kurosawa’s threatening aura is delivered through cryptic sales advice

Rokkaku at their wedding: I can’t believe they’ve decided to support my sales career together for the rest of their lives 💗💗💗

[babyboibucky]

Undeserving (Deserve Better Part 2)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You confront Bucky about his decision to abandon you.

Word Count: 2,868

Warnings: More angst lmao I’m sorry for this

A/N: Honestly struggled with this because 1) I couldn’t decide on how to end it and 2) I was pressured from the feedback I got from Deserve Better. I’m not entirely happy with how this came out and initially, I planned on doing an epilogue for those who’d prefer a different ending but decided against it. Anyway, if you guys have more questions about this, send me an ask! I’d love to discuss more about this lol luv u all as always. Feedbacks are highly appreciated and I hope this was good enough for y’all who enjoyed Deserve Better xoxo

Deserve Better || Undeserving || Deserve The Best

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

You chose to stay.

Despite seeing the love of your life— whom you had waited for years— in the arms of another, you stayed at the gala. It was after all, to honor Steve’s legacy and you respected him enough not to walk away and miss out on the speeches given by people dearest to him, Bucky included of course.

You weren’t sure if he had seen you and the way your eyes brimmed with tears when everything finally made sense to you. He wasn’t far from you when you stopped in your tracks, mouth parting as a soft whimper escaped past your lips.

You had never imagined that heartbreak could be so physically painful. And it wasn’t the regular pain you’d feel after an intense workout or when you scraped your knee. The hurt was different, like your heart was being tightly squeezed into someone else’s palm. It was choking you, constricting you of oxygen as if you were drowning. No matter how much you tried to reach the surface, the pain just kept on pulling you down until there was nothing but darkness and well, pain.

Once the program was over and all the guests were left to mingle, you carefully slipped out of the crowd. Mindlessly, you walked and walked and walked until your feet began to hurt from the heels you were wearing. When the cold and crisp air of the evening embraced you, it was then that you realized that you reached the compound’s garden, just behind the main hall where the gala was happening.

The quiet gave you time to think and process everything that had happened. Bucky left to find himself and to become better, that he did. And you waited only to discover that he’d been back for quite a while now but chose to be with another.

As you looked out in front of you, your vision turned blurry as a new wave of tears escaped your eyes. Your grief had resurfaced after repressing it for so, so long. Grief from Bucky’s goodbye, from his absence and from waiting, grief from seeing him with someone else; no matter the cause, all in all it was grief nonetheless.

Bucky’s soft voice calling your name echoed in the evening air, it was so soft that you almost thought that you were hallucinating. But then he’d called you again, using the pet name that used to make your stomach flip and your heart to flutter. It still had the same effect now, you realized, only that it came along with an immense amount of pain that made your blood boil.

Hearing Bucky call you that, it almost felt like poison. It was quiet, gentle even but it left a bitter taste in your mouth as you felt its venom run through your veins until you could no longer feel anything but pain.

“Doll—“

“Don’t.” you seethed and turned around, pointing a shaky finger right at Bucky. “Don’t call me that when you’re with someone else, James.”

Bucky flinched at the way you had addressed him. You saw how his face faltered upon seeing you like this. His vibranium arm was restless against his side, as if he wanted to reach out to you but knew better than to do so.

“I waited for you!” you spat.

If he found somebody else to become better for, he could at least let you know. But he didn’t and you needed to know why he chose to abandon you. You needed it so badly, for your own peace of mind. For closure. You deserved that, at least.

“I’m sorry, I—“

“No, you don’t get to say your side until I’m done with mine!” you insisted. “I have every right to be selfish right now. I can choose to lash out on you or refuse to even listen to whatever your reason is for abandoning me no matter how valid it is. I fucking deserve that, Bucky.”

Bucky closed his mouth and nodded; you hated how he was staring at you as if he just lost his moonlight, as if he still loved you. If he did, you wouldn’t be confronting him like this and you wouldn’t have seen him with someone else.

“When Steve told me that you disappeared, when it felt like there was no way to bring everyone back, I waited. It didn’t feel right for me to move on from you just like that and deep inside I knew that you were going to return. Five years, Buck. I waited five years for nothing.” you said quietly, recalling how devastating those five years were.

You didn’t know what would happen then, nobody knew. Would they still come back? The chances were slim and yet you trusted your gut and decided to remain hopeful. It wasn’t easy to wait for something or someone that may never come back. But you still did and it never even crossed your mind that you may just be wasting your time.

You let out a breathy chuckle, “And then you came back and I felt alive again. But then you said goodbye.” you pursed your lips in an attempt to hold back your tears but to no avail.

It took you a while to collect yourself and Bucky let you, until you spoke again and told him how much it destroyed you when he walked away from you.

“Everyone else told me that I shouldn’t wait. Not again after those five years. But it felt easier this time around because you told me you wanted to get better. For me. And I was excited, Bucky.” you told him with a chuckle. “I was excited to see your return. I looked forward to how we’d spend our time together when you come back, if you’d cut your hair. If you’d wear the same cologne that I loved.”

A smile tugged at your lips as you recalled those times you daydreamed about Bucky’s return. The wait was agonizing but it gave you something to look forward to. At least you weren’t waiting for nothing anymore. Bucky was leaving but only temporarily, you were sure he’d come back. But the smile vanished as soon as it appeared and before you knew it, you were sobbing again.

“And now you’re back and so much better. But you aren’t mine anymore.”

At this point, your grief had consumed you both physically and mentally. You knees wobbled but you didn’t hit the ground, no. Instead, there was warmth against your skin followed by the smell of a certain cologne, enveloping the air around you. Bucky caught you in his arms and he held you tight as you cried into him.

“Shh, doll. I’m here now.” he whispered before pressing a kiss onto your crown.

As much as it felt right to be in Bucky’s embrace, it wasn’t enough to overcome the betrayal he did. You groaned in frustration and pushed him away, stepping back and hugging yourself instead.

“Why?” you asked quietly.

“I need to know why and how we came to this.” you asked, almost begged for Bucky to give you the closure you badly needed.

Bucky ran a hand through his hair as he paced before you, his cheeks stained with his own tears. “I came back for you.” he said.

You frowned, “When?”

“I couldn’t wait to see you again and as soon as I got back, I went straight to your office. But then you weren’t working there anymore, I found out that you finally landed your dream job at the law firm.” he said with a small smile. “I was so proud when I heard that. I was supposed to go to your apartment but something came up and I needed to meet with Sam first. Weekend came and I was on my way to your place when I saw you. And you were with someone else and you looked....happier, the happiest I’d seen you.”

Something clicked and you quickly shook your head, “Andy. No, he’s not...we were never together. This is a misunderstanding, Bucky. He and I were never—“

“I know.” Bucky admitted.

“What?” You asked, voice soft from utter confusion.

“You looked happy with him, not because of him. I know you weren’t in love with him because if you were, you would have looked at him the same way you’re looking at me now.” He explained sadly.

Hearing Bucky’s explanation made you angrier. If he knew that, then why did he still leave? What reason could be bigger than that to make Bucky wake up one day and decide that he no longer wants to come back to you?

If he knew you loved him so much to actually wait, why did he leave you like that?

Your brows creased, “If that’s not the reason, then what?”

Bucky shrugged, “I realized that you didn’t deserve me. I left to better myself for you, god I really did. But when I saw you and how you managed to be successful without me by your side, I figured that you were better off without me. I thought I got better, but seeing you again looking so beautiful, happy and just...maybe I’ll never be the right one for you.”

You bitterly chuckled at Bucky’s revelation, “This doesn’t make any sense to me, Bucky. You chose to abandon me because you thought I was happier without you?”

You felt offended that Bucky even thought of that. Did he not trust you when you told him you’d wait for him? He didn’t even show up to tell you that, to give you the chance to reassure him how much you love him. He just decided that it was better for him to leave you hanging?

“That’s bullshit, Bucky.” you spat. “You left me hanging because you thought you were weighing me down and the next time I see you, you’re with Sharon now. Who by the way, used to date your best friend. I don’t understand any of this.” you told him.

Bucky looked at the ground as he evened out his breathing. There were a few seconds of silence between the two of you. Only heavy breaths and the distant sound of the music from the gala lingered in the air. It was almost comforting. Almost.

“Sharon and I...it wasn’t easy for us when Steve left. It was something that we both had in common. We wanted to fix ourselves and in the process we just...it happened. I didn’t mean for it but it just happened.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

The pain was replaced with grief and then anger. A little sympathy was thrown in the mix too upon hearing Bucky’s reason but now you were back to square one. Pain.

“You worried for her when Steve left but didn’t worry about me when you chose to leave me hanging? You told me you needed to fix yourself alone because you didn’t want to hurt me in the process of doing so. Guess what, Bucky? You hurt me all the same. Even more so when you chose to stay for Sharon and when you allowed her to help you fix yourself.”

Bucky remained silent as he simply gazed at you and let you say your piece. You just couldn’t understand where he truly was coming from. You knew about his insecurities and you accepted each one of them. You’d wholeheartedly accepted Bucky from the moment you knew you loved him, that included his flaws and demons, even on days he hated himself.

“Don’t shut me out like that again, please?” You asked Bucky, when he finally let you inside his room after isolating himself for days.

He had those days, when he couldn’t bring himself to come out and just...live. He’d push people away and torture himself with negative thoughts. But you always stayed no matter what.

“‘m sorry doll, I just...sometimes...I love you so much but sometimes I feel like I don’t have enough of it to actually show you. And you don’t deserve that.” He explained.

You smiled and cupped his cheek, “That’s okay, Bucky. I love you and the amount of love I have for you is more than enough for both of us.”

Was your love not enough for him all along? For him not to consider how you would feel if he just decided not to come home to you anymore? You shouldn’t be blaming yourself for everything, you did your part. But you couldn’t help but wonder whether it was because of you that Bucky chose to walk away.

“I love you, I really do. And you deserve the best and I’m not...that. I chose to let you go so you can have that.”

“I don’t need the best version of you, Bucky!” You quickly cut him off. “I just need you.” You added.

When Bucky decided to leave to get better, you let him even though you hated to see him walk away. You’d be selfish not to, especially when Bucky was finally free to decide things for himself. It was for the best, but honestly speaking, you didn’t want a better version of him.

Whether it was the Winter Soldier or James Buchanan Barnes, whatever version of him he’d give to you, you love Bucky all the same.

You love Bucky so much that it was so painful for you to hear that he actually thought you’d be happier without him.

“You don’t deserve someone as damaged as me. Even if I got better, I’m still struggling and I don’t want to make things hard for you.” Bucky said.

“And you don’t get to decide what you think I deserve! You don’t get to abandon me like I was nothing, like we were nothing to you.” You seethed.

Bucky looked away, blinking his tears away as he tried to compose himself. His jaw tensed as he looked at you with an apologetic gaze.

“You shouldn’t have waited for me. You didn’t have to.” He said the same thing to you when he left, and it hurt just as much.

“I love you. I’ll wait, Bucky.” You murmured and tugged at his hand before he could even let you go.

Bucky smiled sadly at you, “You don’t have to, doll.”

You shook your head and brought Bucky’s hand to your lips as you cried, “I want to. And I will.”

“I know. But in all those years you were gone, I woke up each day and chose to wait for you. I always chose you, Bucky.” You said with a sad smile.

You stumbled a bit and lifted your dress enough to reveal your bleeding foot. You’d walked that long, for your feet to get wounded and ironically, you couldn’t feel anything but the pain of seeing Bucky again. He tried to approach you and help you out but you waved a hand and kept him at an arm’s length away from you. You removed your shoes and straightened up, looking at Bucky and his ocean blue eyes for one last time.

“I’m sorry if you felt like you weren’t enough. You’re more than enough for me, Bucky. I really thought that I could love and fight for the both of us, but I guess not.”

Bucky didn’t say anything else, and you hoped he would. It might have been pathetic of you to wish that he’d come back to you, but you really hoped he would say something to fight for you. He didn’t and that was enough for you to make a decision.

“Goodbye, Bucky.”

You bit your lower lip as you turned around, holding back your tears as you jogged back into the gala. You walked past everyone in the crowd in a hurry, wanting to head home as quickly as possible. And then you came face to face with someone you weren’t prepared to confront.

It’s as if time stopped when you saw her, Sharon. She must have found out about your presence. Did she know of Bucky’s decision to abandon you? You wondered how she helped Bucky better himself, why he let her stay as he fixed himself.

Why Bucky chose to be with her instead of coming home to you.

You could feel your chest constrict again, the pain continuing to consume you whole. If you stayed any longer, you were afraid you might break.

“Do you love him?” You asked her softly.

Without missing a beat, Sharon nodded her head. “I do.” She whispered.

“How much?” You asked again.

“There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.” Sharon responded and you could feel the sincerity in her statement.

The way she said it wasn’t meant to hurt you nor mock you. It was reassuring, in fact. Like she was making you a promise that she was going to take good care of Bucky the same way you did. Maybe even more. You swallowed as you nodded, forcing a small smile before looking away to wipe a tear that slipped.

“That’s good.” You simply said. “Because I’d do anything for him too.”

Anything. Even if that meant walking away and giving up on a battle that you’d already lost the moment Bucky decided to abandon you.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine @sipsteacasually @tcc-gizmachine @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @​thatfangirl42 @sunflowerbunny2 @unmagically @okiegirl24 @sugarpunch-princess @enlyume @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp @lyoongx @just-deka @nobody-will @jaziona92 @elisebuitron @dpaccione @suvikamahes98blr @buckybarneshairpullingkink @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x @nani-kenobi 

Deserve Better Special Tags:

@nervous-plant @wintersfilm 

[halsteadlover]

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮

*Gif not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: no.

• Warnings: major character death.

• Summary: Jay is gone but one night he appears in your dream and after so much time you can finally talk to him again.

• Word count: 1810.

• A\N: I'm on my period and I feel sad so I had this idea and decided to write this, just because I'm a masochist and I wanted to cry lmao. I'm sorry for any mistake, sending lots of love to everyone ❤️.

Six months.

Six months passed since your world turned upside down, since your life changed forever, since the love of your life was forever gone.

For six months every morning you would get out of bed and pray that it was all a nightmare but you only had to turn around to see the other side of the bed empty to immediately understand that it wasn’t a nightmare but only the raw and horrible reality.

It was said that time healed wounds, that over time you began to get better, but this was just a big lie. It didn’t get any better, that lancinating pain that for six months had gripped your heart, that emptiness were still there. It was like having a deep hole in the stomach, as unbridgeable as the silence Jay had left.

Death transforms every moment into an empty element, the absence of something that filled your thoughts and now it's gone.

This Stephen Littleword quote was carved in your memory because that’s exactly how you felt, empty, without any purpose.

The truth was that since Jay died a part of you had died with him, a part – if not all – of your heart had flown away with him, and no matter how hard you tried, it would never come back.

You were really trying, for him, for what you had, for the love you felt for him, but you couldn’t because damn you missed him, you missed him like you miss air when you’re underwater, you missed hearing his voice, his beautiful green eyes, you missed hugging him, holding him close to you like he was the most important thing in your life, you missed talking and laughing with him, his jokes, the way he made you smile even when the only thing you wanted to do was cry, you missed waking up in the morning and finding him there next to you pretending to sleep just to be able to hold you close.

You missed him more than you ever thought.

As you had done every day for six months now, you went to see Jay at the cemetery and no matter how many times you read his name carved on the marble headstone, it hurt every day like it was the first. Every day you went there, you sat on the grass and talked to him, you told him about your life, what was happening, and you never went home without telling him that you still loved him to death.

That night was the first time in six months that you were able to sleep a bit but it didn’t last long. You woke up when you heard someone call your name.

“Hey… Hey, wake up sleepy beauty.”

You sat abruptly on the bed when your eyes fell on the figure sitting in front of you. You ran your hands over your face, sure it was a hallucination.

It couldn’t be true.

It was him.

“Jay… What…” you murmured “You…”

“I’m here baby, happy to see me?” he asked with his cheeky smile, his arms open.

“Oh my god it’s you!”

A wave of joy went through your body but it was quickly replaced by pain and disappointment when you tried to hug him, but your arms went through his body.

“What… What’s going on…”

You looked around and immediately noticed that something was different. It was your room but there was a different atmosphere, a different light, everything seemed brighter.

“That’s a dream right?” you asked, afraid to hear the answer as you prayed that he would say no, that it was reality, that he was really there.

“I wish I could say no but yes, it’s a dream baby,” he said, a sad smile on his lips “You are always beautiful, you know that right?”

“Where have you been? Why didn’t you come to see me even once?”

“In my defense I’d like to say that I wanted so much to come but you don’t sleep a lot” he said ironically.

Your eyes filled with tears as you smiled and looked at him as if you were trying to imprint every detail of him in your memory. God, he was always so handsome. “I can’t without you, I miss you so much Jay.”

“I know baby, I miss you too you have no idea,” he said with a smile “Please don’t cry you know I hate seeing you like this.”

You chuckled through years and wiped your tears quickly.

“That’s it, I want to see this beautiful smile I fell in love with, I want to see you happy.”

“You were my happiness baby, I don’t know how… How to be happy again, it’s hard.”

“Why?”

“Because you…” you tried to say but stopped trying to hold back your tears “You’re not here anymore.”

“I’m here sweetheart, I never left, I’m always with you,” he said with a smile.

“What it's like there? Is it all white with the angels and all?”

He laughed. “Yeah, something like that. Time passes so quickly there.”

“I wish I could say the same,” you said “It’s like time has stopped since you… Since you left.”

A sad smile appeared on his face. “I know, I’m sorry, I wish I could've done something.”

“Are you happy there?”

“Not as much as I was with you but… Yeah, it’s not bad as I thought.”

“Why did you leave me?” you suddenly asked.

“I would never have left you if it had been up to me, but I guess my time had come,” he shrugged.

“It doesn't make me feel better.”

“I know but that's why I'm here, I wanted to talk to you.”

“You could fill me with insults right now and I would cry with joy,” you said making him laugh.

“See? That's why I love you so much. I want to see you like this, I want you to be like this again, joyful, sarcastic, happy.”

“I told you, I don't know how to do it without you” you whispered.

“I'm so sorry baby, I'm sorry you feel like this and you can't imagine how much I would like to take away the pain you feel but it's not up to me unfortunately,” he spoke “You know, I have never stopped looking up to you. When I said I never left I didn't lie, even if you don't see me it doesn't mean I'm not right next to me.”

You sighed, your eyes filled with tears again. “It's the only thing that kept me going, knowing that one way or another you are always with me.”

“I know it's not the same thing like when I was there with you and I know I promised I'd never leave and I'm sorry... It all happened so fast and so unexpectedly...”

“Did you suffer?” you interrupted him, asking him the question that most tortured you for the past six months.

“No baby,” he said with a slight shake of his head “I know you constantly think whether or not I suffered but I promise I didn't, like I said it all happened so fast. It was almost... Peaceful.”

For some strange reason that news made you feel a little better, knowing that in his last moments he hadn't suffered, he hadn't felt pain, it was a comforting thought.

“But this doesn't mean I wanted to leave, God I wish I stayed a little longer but what can I say... Things don't always work like we want.”

“Do you regret something?” you asked him.

“I just wish I could tell you more that I love you, hold you more... God I miss it so much, I miss you so much,” he said and at that point you couldn't stop the tears from falling down your cheeks.

“I wish I had made you understand more how precious and wonderful you are, how much you made me happy and how much you made me feel loved, safe. I know you've never seen it but I would really like you to do it. I want you to look at yourself in the mirror and see it because you have no idea how amazing you are and how much you have changed my life and everyone who knows you for the better…” He talked while you kept looking at him and crying.

You missed him so much that, God, if it was possible you would’ve pulled him out of that dream so you could hug him again.

“Jay...” you cried, your eyes blurred with tears. You quickly wiped them but that was useless as they ran down your face again.

“You have to listen to me baby okay? Please, I don’t have much time but I need you to remember those words,” he said and when you nodded he kept talking “But first I need you to promise me one thing.”

“What?” you whispered, your voice broken by tears.

“I need you to promise me that you’ll be happy again, God baby you look so beautiful when you smile, promise me you’ll try?”

You didn’t answer right away. “I can’t…”

“Yes you can baby, there’s nothing you can’t do. You are one of the strongest people I know, you have a strength inside that you don’t even know about. I know it’s hard, I know it may seem impossible right now but I promise it’s not, the world is a wonderful place and it’s just waiting for you to experience it. Life is not over and it’s too short, I’ve learned this well, so live baby, don’t be afraid… Don’t be afraid to love again, don’t feel guilty if you'll smile for someone else, because you deserve it, you deserve to be happy and loved and I want nothing more than this.”

“It’s not fair…” you cried “It’s not fair, I want to be happy with you.”

“But I’m with you. I’ll always look up to you, I’ll always be your guardian angel,” he said “I don’t have much time left, please promise me, promise me you’ll be okay. “

“I promise.”

He gave you a huge smile. “That’s my baby. I have to go now but I want to tell you one last thing. I want you to remember I’ll be there. If you want to talk to me do it and if you seem to hear my voice then know it’s me, that you haven’t gone crazy. Every time you want to see me just close your eyes, think of me and I’ll be there okay?” he told you “I love you, forever and always baby.”

“I love you, forever and always,” he started to fade but you tried to reach out to him “Jay… Come back… Please baby I’m begging you.”

But it was all in vain. He was gone.

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push and pull (II)

part I | part II

read on ao3 • main masterlist • law school masterlist

summary: It's been a week since their incident in the courtroom, a week since her best friend, and crush, had kissed her. Despite her better instincts, Sol decides that it's best to test his feelings for her. After all, he's bound to get jealous right?

or: Sol riles him up and now she has to face the consequences.

request by anon: OP you are writing a sequel of push and pull? Right? Right? 🥺 As joon whipped pointed out, this isn't over. And as a prompt/ask for part 2 or a new drabble– like can yeseul find the hickey joonhwi definitely left from the neck kisses? Okayyy byeeee

PS peace is not known to man is alsooo amaze! All your fics are amaze!

a/n: AAA yes i was always planning to do a sequel to push and pull but anon you really gave me the BEST idea! thank you so much for sending something in <3 this honestly kinda got out of hand, i was not expecting it to be this spicy (don't worry, no smut yet lmao) but i really hope you guys like this!!

It's been a week since Kang Sol decided to practice her argument as the defense counsel. A week had passed since her best friend, and crush, Han Joon Hwi, had kissed her in the sacred court of law, and for a week everything was startlingly normal. It was like everything that went on between the two happened in another dimension, when he was just as in love with her as she was for him.

After leaving her confused and dazed outside the courtroom, they had gone back to normal life, into their regular routine. They would study together in the library, work on their case for the upcoming mock trial, and work at the legal clinic. The two of them shared lunches and all their classes together, and for a moment, she almost forgot that she kissed Han Joon Hwi. But what could a girl do, swamped with cases and professors who thought it'd be best to swamp them with assignments.

So since he didn't mention anything about that day, neither did she. For the most part, she was so distracted by her classes and the anxiety that followed with being a student at Hanguk Law School that she was able to act regularly around him. But it didn't erase the memory of how he had looked at her, from across that courtroom, eyes dark and heavy. It didn't erase how warm his hands were on her, how his hands tangled in her hair as he pulled her in, how soft his lips felt against hers as he pulled her into a bruising kiss. It didn't erase how right it felt, having him press against her and it certainly didn't erase how much her feelings had grown for him.

There were moments, when their hands brushed against each other while reaching for the same book, or the way his shoulder would press against hers as they sat in the hideout, where she was sure that she would never get over him. Or the smiles he would send her, only her, across the classroom that would make a certain satisfaction spread through her like wildfire. It was like her mind and body lit up each time he looked at her with so much as an expression of happiness.

But Joon Hwi? He was completely fine. He was still right by her side, smiling and teasing, spending time with her as if they hadn't broken the cardinal rule of friendship. It bothered her, how he could act so normal around her, like nothing ever happened between the two. The anger rose as the days passed by, at how he could kiss her like that, and then pretend like it was nothing.

Kang Sol was always one for action, never one to sit back and let things happen to her. Even with the chance that she could make the situation so much worse, she plotted with Ye-seul. Her best friend had known of course, way before Sol could even understand why or what she felt for the boy that had kept her company through her lowest moments. In fact, she was the one who suggested the brilliant plan of testing his feelings, trying to see for herself if she was just hallucinating or if Joon hwi actually did feel something for her.

Her solution came in the form of a boy,  Lee Min-seok. Min-seok was always a close friend of hers, one of the few students that didn’t shame her for her low scores. He knew about her crush on Han Joon Hwi, figuring it out after they got drunk together. Not that it was all that hard, considering Sol had basically wailed, asking why Joon hwi didn’t see her the way she saw him. Luckily for her, he also had someone he wanted to make jealous, a girl named Seo Ae Ri, who was in their constitutional codes lecture.

Ye-Seul, Min-Seok and her had put their heads together, planning to work together on their project for Professor Kim's class rather than working with Joon Hwi like Sol usually did. It was simple really: Sol would act nice with him, just like she did with Joon hwi and see if he would react. In case they needed extra measures, Ye-Seul would tease her, really testing him once and for all.

“You keep looking at him,” Min-Seok said to her, snapping her out of her thoughts and back to the project at hand.

“Hm?” She turned to look back to the boy sitting across from her at the tables in the main hall. She shot him an apologetic look. "Sorry, I was just-"

"I know," he smiled, before tilting his head towards a girl sitting a couple tables away from them, "I'm getting distracted too."

"This is a bad idea, isn't it?"

"Probably, but we're both desperate losers, aren't we?" he grinned, and Sol laughed, the statement way too accurate to describe the both of them.

Being friendly with Min-Seok was easy but flirting with him was much harder than she thought. Sol had worn her hair down today, in an attempt to look more like she’s on a date rather than working on a project with a friend. She dressed up slightly, upgrading from her Hanguk university sweatshirt to a regular beige sweater. Still, it was impossible for her to keep her eyes on the boy in front of her when the real guy she liked was sitting right behind him.

Min-seok would lightly touch her hand, grazing past her and she would laugh at his jokes as if they were the funniest thing she’d heard all day. She tried her best to keep her eyes off of the Joon hwi and her focus on Min-seok, both of them trying their best to appear as though they had something more than friendship. Both of them joked and worked, trying to let their gazes linger on each other rather than their crushes sitting a couple feet away from both of them. She was still laughing at his joke when she looked up and noticed the empty seat where Joon hwi once sat.

Her laughter died down slowly as Sol watched him disappear behind the marble pillars of the school, without even sparing her a glance. I guess this was for nothing... Her hands squeezed into a fist, the pain and disappointment growing in her chest. She turned back to Min-seok and smiled, trying to not let her disappointment choke her.

It was evening by the time she left the main hall, after grabbing something to eat with Ye-Seul and Bok-gi at the cafe. Even with the delicious food, her mind was still on Joon Hwi, the figure walking away from her that afternoon permanently pressed into her memory. Even though it was just a memory, it weighed down on her shoulders as if she was carrying something physically on her back.

She sighed, making her way back to the dorms, stepping out of the main hall when she felt a tug on her elbow. Before she could process what was happening, she was whisked away to the corridor between the stairwell and the main hall.

“Wha-” she attempted yelled out before a hand came to cover her mouth.

“Shh, it’s okay, it’s just me,” Joon hwi was wide eyed, as he took his hand off her mouth after she saw it was him, letting her calm down. Her heart thundered in her chest, breathing fast from the shock.

“Yah!” she hit his chest lightly, “Why would you shock me like that? I almost had a heart attack.” She tried to slow her breathing down, closing her eyes to avoid his gaze on her. Silence stretched between them and slowly, she opened her eyes to meet his gaze. His head was tilted slightly, almost like he was trying to piece her together like a puzzle.

“Who was your partner for Professor Kim’s project?” he asked, his face still deep in thought.

“Oh, just Min-Seok,” she answered, trying to keep her voice as nonchalant as possible.

“Just Min-Seok?” he questioned, narrowing his eyes on her. She squirmed slightly, her mind racing to come up with an answer that’s not you kissed me and then didn’t talk about it so I needed to test if you liked me. He took a step closer to her as she stepped back, her back hitting the wall of the corridor. His eyes were the same shade they had been in the courtroom, impossibly dark and staring into hers. It was intoxicating and she found herself unable to look away or do anything except stare back.

"You just like watching me in misery, don't you sunbae?" His voice was taunting, much deeper than usual. The air was almost suffocating with tension, with his proximity. She swallowed as she met his eyes, watching as the passion and fire in his eyes made her body overheat. “Taunting me, making me watch that guy touch you and flirt with you like he knew you,” His head dipped in then, tilting slightly as his gaze dropped to her lips.

“Like he knows how you liked to be touched,” he said, teasing as he kept the distance, his hands cupping her jaw, tracing her skin lightly in a way that made her shiver. It sent her body into overdrive, every inch of her hyper aware of Joon Hwi, his intoxicating smell enveloping her senses. “Like he knows how you like to be kissed,” he whispered, and his lips were against hers, soft yet unyielding, before she could even register it. His kiss was like fire, threatening to burn her up, but she didn’t mind. Sol would burn and burn for him, if it meant a few more moments with his lips on her.

Her hands found his shirt, tugging him closer to her as he shifted his head, pulling her in deeper. His tongue brushed against hers, driving her insane with the need for more. His kisses were addicting, pulling her in for more and more. Her hands were then in his hair, pulling him in closer  against her as she kissed him with fevor, her tongue brushing against his lower lip enough to make him groan into her mouth. His body only pressed into her more, his warmth bleeding into hers. His hair was silky and soft against her fingertips, and the need and want for more, more, more, driving her.

He pulled away shortly, panting as he caught his breath. His lips were bright red from her kisses, his eyes darkened with lust and want for her. She was still pinned against the wall as he brought his fingers close to her throat, the pads of his fingers grazing the spot he once left bruising kisses on. She drew in a sharp breath, the delicate touch of his hands enough to clear her mind.

“Ah, Sol-ah, such a pity. The hickies I left have faded away,” Joon hwi smirked slightly, his voice gravelly from the kiss. God, he’s insufferable. “We can’t have that happening, can we?” he raised an eyebrow, then dipped his head closer to her throat. She tipped her head back, wanting, needing, but he paused, his warm breath against her neck, like he was waiting for an answer.

“Yes,” Sol gave in, her voice breathier than she’d care to admit, “Yes please.” He obliged, finally dipping his head fully to leave open-mouthed kisses along her throat. The feeling was torturous and delicious, his hand curving around her neck to adjust it as he pleased. His other hand found the edge of her shirt, his body pushed against her in a way that was designed to haunt her.

“Joonhwi-ah,” she moaned, her voice embarrassingly needy as his fingers grazed her waist, and then his warm hand pressed against her bare skin. His thumb grazed the edge of her bra as it rubbed soothing circles into her skin as he continued placing feverish, bruising kisses against the delicate skin of her neck.  Her mind was completely blank, with only his name and pleads for more leaving her lips. It was too much and too little at the same time, the sensations clouding her mind but her body only craving more.

Slowly, he pulled away, his pupils still blown out from what they just did as he panted, trying to catch his breath. Sol was left dazed, still blinking at what had transpired between them. The air was still thick as they looked at each other, the silence enveloping the two. Sol looked at the man in front of her, but her brain was still catching up to the fact that Joon Hwi kissed me. His hair was a mess, and his lips were still red and swollen from their kisses. She was the first to crack a smile, unable to conceal her happiness at the fact that her plan worked.

“I should have done that earlier if I knew you’d kiss me like that,” she joked with him, the warmth and joy leaking out of every seam of her body. Joon Hwi narrowed his eyes at her, finally catching on to what she had pulled.

“You really riled me up on purpose?” His expression was slightly incredulous, but still adoring. His voice was still gravelly and deeper than usual, yet he was still the Joon hwi who she grew to love.

“You left me no choice! You kissed me in the courtroom and then you never addressed it,” her voice raised slightly, and he laughed in response, the corners of his eyes crinkling in the familiar way.

“I know, I’m sorry Sol-ah,” he looked down at the ground before looking up at her, sheepishly, “I wanted to give you time. I- i know that the last kiss came out of nowhere so I didn't want to rush you or push you too hard. I was going to talk to you about it today, and then well, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” she grinned at him. They stayed like that, just for a few moments, grinning as they looked at each other. He pulled back slightly, releasing her from the wall.

“Come on, Sol-ah, I’ll walk you back to your room,” Joon hwi grinned, her hand going out to hold hers as they made their way to her dorm room and to start a new chapter together.

bonus

The next morning arrived surprisingly fast, and Sol was happier than she had ever been. After the Joon Hwi had dropped her off at her room, leaving her with another kiss that would live in her dreams forever she had crashed, blissfully sleeping despite the eventful day she had.

Sol shuffled into the small kitchen area, stretching out her arms in a yawn. She was still clad in her hanguk university sweatshirt, her hair in her signature messy bun as she walked past Ye-Seul and Joon hwi, both sitting at the table looking at their phones and having some breakfast. She greeted both of them, her voice cracking slightly from disuse as she made herself coffee, needing the bitter taste to jumpstart her system before class.

She grinned at both of them before taking a seat next to Joon hwi, the three of them blissfully enjoying their mornings. Everything went by as normal, Joon hwi looking cuter than ever, Ye-Seul still soft and beautiful as ever. Though, as she drank her coffee, she noticed her best friend squint at her slightly, the younger girl’s head tilted inquisitively. But Sol was still on the high from yesterday and seeing Joon hwi in the morning only fueled it more so she didn’t pay the look much heed.

Almost 15 minutes passed before Ye-Seul stood up, making the move to clear her plate and wash her mug. She turned and cleared her throat, looking pointedly at Sol. “Unnie, you might want to use some concealer before you go to class today," she quipped and suddenly, Joon hwi sputtered, choking on the coffee. Sol patted his back soothingly, before she turned around to Ye-Seul in confusion, but the younger girl was gone, disappearing before she could ask what she meant. Joon hwi was still laughing, while Sol was left in utter confusion.

Sol pulled out her phone, switching to her camera to look at what exactly she needed to cover. Did she have a pimple? Did she break out?  But she gasped as she looked at herself in the camera, her eyes wide. Her neck, once pale and clear of any marks, were covered in dark bruises. Hickeys. They spotted all over her throat, the curve of her neck, everywhere.

“Yah, Han Joon hwi!” she turned to him, his laugh only getting louder as she berated him, “I’m going to have to wear a whole bottle of concealer to cover this up!” He grins at her in response, mischief and a certain look of pride tainting his expression and Sol doesn't know whether to kiss him or hit him over the head. But his laughter infected her, and despite all her better instincts to stay angry, she laughed along with him, knowing that she could never stay angry too long at the boy she finally had in her arms.

[himaboroshi736]

IronDad fic recs

Here. I’m a french reader, but I’ve read A LOT (like...a lot) of IronDad, so, eventually, here my fic rec. (I tried to class it by categories, but well...) (it’s gonna be very long, guys)

 Peter Parker has anxiety 

Don’t let me get me, by hopeless_hope 

He picks up his phone and sends a quick text. "hey, happy! i’m not feeling too hot today, so i think i’m gonna have to cancel. tell mr. stark i’m sorry!"

He stares at his phone, waiting for a response. It never comes, and Peter sighs sadly. There was a part of him, a small part, that really hoped he was wrong. His insides burn, and he curls up tighter into a ball and turns off his phone.

(No one’s going to try to contact him anyway.)

or

Anxiety has a way of convincing Peter that everyone hates him. Tony has a way of proving him wrong.

Midnight Oil, by @jolinarjackson

After everything that has happened to Peter over the last year - or five, really - he shouldn’t be worried about something as mundane as the ACT. When he fails it, though it sends him into a spiral of self-doubt, which only gets worse when Peter realizes that he doesn’t seem to be able to fix whatever is broken.

Tony Stark has anxiety 

do you even remember what the world looks like ?, by @iron--spider

Tony’s heart has been working on overdrive since this whole thing started. Friday has a countdown clock plastered on the heads up display, but it feels like hieroglyphics to him at this point, like some ancient language he could never master.

Because when Peter Parker is missing, things start losing their meaning real quick.

“Should be around here,” Rhodey says on the com. May is still on the other line, listening in, because once a certain amount of time goes by without word from Peter, things move into Extremely Worried Aunt territory. They’re already in Tony Is Panicking territory, and when both of those territories overlap it’s never a good time for anybody.

Time? What the hell is time? His mind is blanking numbers out entirely. Minutes are seconds are hours are years.

not like megatron, by @iron--spider

“Hi! This is Peter Parker, I can’t get to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll call you back later! Hopefully not too much later, but don’t get your hopes up!”

Tony knows that message by heart. He’s heard it hundreds of times, in a greyer world, and it sends shivers down his spine as he climbs into the car.

He doesn’t think about that place. That half-world. No way, that’s done, that’s over, that’s history.

“Hey, kid, don’t you know it’s bad etiquette to go and disappear on your birthday? Not allowed, really, really bad vibes from the universe. What’s going on with your suit? I wasn’t watching. Nope. Just got an alert. What’s going on? Uh, call me back.” He clears his throat and hangs up like a moron, driving out into the street.

Hypothermia trope (i really like it so if you have any suggestions...)

i knock the ice from my bones, by hopeless_hope

Peter tries to move his legs through the water, dread filling him when they don’t move, and he just hangs there, doing anything and everything he can not to focus on the feeling of ice clinging to his bones. He feels sluggish, the world blurring around him, and he rests his head on the ice, not even registering the cold anymore.

He’s just so damn tired.

“PETER!” he hears someone yell, but it’s all muffled, and he lazily drags his eyes up to see a figure descending towards him.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thinks, This is not how my vacation was supposed to go.

or

While on what's supposed to be a relaxing vacation with the Starks, things for Peter quickly go south, and he finds himself on thin ice. Literally.

Ice Ice Baby, by @wolfypuppypiles

If Tony, Bucky or pretty much anybody that knew Peter had seen him that morning they would have smacked him upside the head. Helping people was great, everyone should give it a go, but when helping people puts you in danger it’s not so smart anymore.

AKA Peter can't get from Avenger tower to the subway without giving his winter clothes to homeless people and ends up with a severe case of hypothermia

Candle in the Window, by @madasthesea

Finals are over and Peter just wants to go home. The weather has other ideas.

Burn This Out, by @ephemeralstark

It's summer and Peter is free to be Spider-Man all day which is great, but it's summer and Peter is out as Spider-Man on the hottest day of the year which is not great.

Or, Peter gets heat stroke because he can't thermoregulate and things could not go worse for him.

(yeah, it’s not an hypothermia, but it’s linked to the fact that Peter can’t actually thermoregulate)

Post-Endgame (really like this trope too lmao)

the first birthday after, by iron_spider 

(Endgame spoilers. But The Thing doesn't happen.)

The rain falls harder and Tony turns, his neck creaking and cracking, and he sees Peter asleep over by the window. He’s holding a small, flat box, and he’s slowly slipping to the right side of the easy chair he’s in.

Tony thinks about letting him sleep, but he finds himself speaking anyway. “Pete,” he says, his voice rough and raspy.

Peter immediately startles awake. “Happy Birthday,” he says, almost like he’d fallen asleep practicing it, planning to say it as soon as he woke up. He blinks at Tony, shivering a little bit, and then he smiles. “Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday.”

Tony snorts, smiling back. “Thanks, bud,” he says.

Second Best, by Rowan_M

Tony had adjusted to parenthood quickly when Morgan came along, and was always conscious of making sure Peter isn't left out ... Almost always. When Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan, Tony obsess over his daughter and takes his anger out on Peter, without even checking to see if he was okay. Steve finds Peter later that night in serious pain and in need of immediate medical attention.

Or, Peter gets hurt while taking care of Morgan and Tony basically ignores him.

when you’re feeling empty keep me in your memory, by JkWriter

after everything with thanos he forgets it's his birthday. he just assumed everyone else did too.

All For You, by @ironxprince

Three weeks after the snap that saved the world, Peter learns he was the reason behind it. He learns that Tony risked death, and now has to live with the ramifications, both physical and mental, all because of him.

This doesn't sit right with him.

you save everybody, but who saves you ?, by @iron--spider

Tony doesn’t sleep, because he can’t, because too many things are plaguing him, most of all where Peter is and what he’s doing. Tony has a good view of the hallway through the windows to his room, and he stares and stares until his eyes cross, until he hallucinates, until he knows he’s going insane.

He sees Peter sneaking into the med bay at about four in the morning.

The kid’s mask is off and he’s got two short, harsh slashes across his cheek, and he’s bleeding from a slice across his neck. His suit is ripped in a few places and he’s holding onto his middle, and Tony can see his hands are shaking.

It’s like something splinters in Tony’s already broken brain, like his world narrows and there are hazy edges, both weakness and strength entwining in his veins when he sees Peter struggle up onto one of the beds in the main atrium, starting to tend his wounds without calling anybody to help.

BAMF Peter Parker 

Pizza, a Movie, and... an Attempted Kidnapping ?, by Pogokitten

“Tony. We’ll be fine,” Peter tells the man for what must be the tenth time in the last half hour.

Peter’s sitting on the couch of his and May’s apartment and building Legos with Morgan as they both watch their father’s methodical, yet anxious, pacing. He’s dressed to impress, as is Pepper who is watching the scene slightly exasperated.

“Are you sure? We can ditch the gala, kid. Just say the word,” Tony offers, halting in front of his kids.

Or: Tony and Pepper leave Peter in charge of Morgan while they go to their first gala since the third snap. Peter is expecting a calm night in with his adopted sister, but some thugs throw a wrench in his plans.

he’s good like that, by @iron--spider

“Get the hell outta here, boy,” the man says. “Or you’re gonna watch your boss die in front of you.” Then he grabs Tony by the shoulders hard, and shoves him down to his knees. The gun is louder now, like it’s filled with words that are eager to be shouted, and Tony winces when he feels the barrel press against the back of his neck. His knees weren’t ready to hit the ground that hard, and he tries to keep the pain from reaching his face.

He must fail, because Peter looks pissed.

“You’re not gonna shoot him, mister,” Peter says, somehow still trying to maintain a respectful tone, despite the clear anger written all over him.

stark robotics and technology conference, by @iron--spider

Peter leans against the wall while Tony chooses their floor, and the doors close. “Do you, uh, want me to do some interning stuff? Like go and get you coffee? Make sure the, uh—programs are all ready? Make sure the paintings are straight in the ballroom? Make sure the chairs are—”

Tony snorts. “Kid, I just thought you’d enjoy this. May told me about when it came through Queens but you two couldn’t make it because she was working and didn’t want you to go alone, and I thought, after all the shit you’ve been through lately, that you deserved something fun. No interning for you. That’s just an excuse.”

Peter remembers that. It was six months after Ben died, and he wasn’t gonna bother May too much about the conference. He didn’t know how much tickets cost anyways, or if kids his age could even go.

He really hung onto the idea of Iron Man after Ben died. Peter held him closer than ever.

Peter and Tony fighting 

dinner and a jailbreak, by killerqueenwrites

“I’m not your kid!” Peter shouts.

“Don’t walk away from me, I’m not done–“

“You’re not my dad!”

Peter fitting in after the Blip isn't as easy as Tony hoped it would be. He wants his kid back, but they can't seem to stop fighting.

and then Peter goes missing.

my old man, by parkrstark 

"I just want to help you. I want to help you understand what's wrong here and how to stop it. I used to be the same way until my father showed me how to be a man." He glanced back at Peter to sneer. "He's old enough to know better by now, but it's not your fault you didn't know how to teach him." "Teach him what?" Tony asked even though he didn't want to know the answer.

"Discipline, of course," Junior said with a wink.

--

Tony takes Peter on a weekend trip to try and change his mind about college and things go wrong. Then, they go even more wrong.

Between how it is and how it should be, by @frostysunflowers

''Doesn’t Captain Rogers ever…wonder,'' Peter winced as he fumbled for the right word, ''where you are?''

Bucky smirked. ''Steve’s a regular mother hen. Used to be me that worried about him.'' He gave Peter a pointed look. ''Better question is, isn’t Stark wondering where you are?''

Soulmates trope 

presumed dead, by killerqueenwrites 

Tony gets his first soulmark when he’s fifteen, his second when he's thirty. He's forty-six when his third appears, and forty-eight when it fades to grey.

did you see the flares in the sky ?, by justt-ppeachy

‘hi’  

One simple word was displayed proudly on the inside of his right wrist. Tony wasn’t sure when this word showed up or how long it had been there.

A line formed underneath the word and Tony could almost feel the pressure on his arm from the marker his soulmate was using to push one phrase from their skin into his.

‘i loev yu’

The letters were written slowly and messily as they showed up upon his wrist while he watched in disbelief. Not sure if he was hallucinating or just going insane, Tony rubbed at the writing, wondering if they would disappear once he looked again.

The words were barely recognizable, but they were still the best thing Tony had ever seen.

IronDad Fluff (yeah)

peter wearing tony’s hoodie, by killerqueenwrites 

Tony’s used to his clothes going missing. His MIT hoodie doesn’t often leave his closet, though, which is why he notices its absence straight away. There’s a lifetime of safety and comfort in this old hoodie, for both of them, and that’s all Tony could ever wish to give Peter.

Career Day, by @superhusbands4ever

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” Peter’s enhanced senses picked up the familiar voice from outside the door. “I had a meeting this morning and then I got lost looking for the class… anyway, I’m here for Peter? Peter Parker?”

He frowned at hearing his name, still unsure what exactly was going on. He watched as his teacher continued to stand and stare out the door for a minute before seemingly remembering herself and taking a step back.

“Of course! If you could just go sit next to him until your turn, he’s in the back on the right side.”

The man stepped through the door and Peter gaped with the rest of the class as Tony Stark, in his signature suit and goatee, sporting a pair of red sunglasses and carrying a suitcase walked through the door.

Kryptonite, by forensicleaf 

The kid is acting weird.

Tony tries to figure it out.

father’s day, by @iron--spider 

It’s Father’s Day, and Tony never really had a father. Not in the real sense of the word, not in the way that counts.

Peter Parker doesn’t have a father, either. Not anymore, anyway, not since he was little, and the amount of years that have passed since then outweigh the amount of time he got with Richard Parker.

Tony wouldn’t call himself Peter’s dad. He wouldn’t, he doesn’t, he doesn’t think of himself that way, no way, no way.

He stares at himself in the mirror. He pulls down on his cheeks, makes his eyes water. He runs his hands over the roughness of his jaw and sorta hates everything about himself right now, because he’s acting like a goddamn idiot. It’s Father’s Day and he’s not a father. He doesn’t know why the hell he’s pining for something that isn’t his, shouldn’t be his, can never be his. He isn’t a father, he isn’t Peter’s father, so there’s no reason on God’s green earth for Peter and him to do something for Father’s Day.

ain’t no valley low enough, by @iron--spider (yes, again, ‘cuz she’s the best)

Peter snorts. “You know I didn’t apply anywhere in Florida.”

“Please, kid, you know all you have to do is write a beautiful essay with my recommendation attached to it and you’re in. You’ve got the scores.”

Peter has a list. Of all the places he applied to, all the places he got into. A lot of it was encouraged by the adult role models in his life, some of it by Ned daydreaming about places like California and Colorado. Mostly, Peter just applied everywhere he could think of, because he’s known for a long time that Tony was gonna help May pay for it, and he didn’t wanna limit his options. Thinking about college has been strange for him, strange to the extent that he had a full blown panic attack about it in the middle of Avengers taco night last month. He can’t really understand it, doesn’t get why it feels like the end of the world—because he’s experienced the end of the world, and it’s not which campus has a bowling alley and which school has circus classes. But he nearly blacked out all the same, sobbed in Tony’s arms on the balcony until Tony proposed this. The road trip.

and when it’s hard, i’ll place your head into my hands, by hopeless_hope

“Tony,” Pepper sing-songs to get his attention. “Your mother hen is showing.”

“What?” he snaps indignantly. “I am not a mother hen. This is just... concern. Of the average kind. Perfectly normal.”

“Of course,” Pepper humors him, and he shoots her a dirty look as he types out a quick text to Peter.

or

It's been five days since Tony's heard from Peter, who's away at college, and Tony is not coping well. (Neither is Peter.)

Peter likes cuddles (and Tony too, but he always denies it... until he can’t)

my arms will hold you (keep you safe and warm), by parkrstark 

“So, you’re telling me your body...is going through Oxytocin withdrawals?” Tony asked slowly.

“Cuddle withdrawals,” Peter corrected him. “Mr. Stark cuddles.”

TW : Rape/non-cons

make me strong, by parkrstark 

It all started when Tony introduced Peter to Skip Westcott. He just didn't know until it was too late.

(There is a lot more, but I can’t find it rn ;-;)

5+1 

5 times peter clung to tony, by parkrstark 

... and the one time tony clung to him.

You are my Dad, you’re my dad, boogiewoogiewoogie, by Hittinmiss

“Peter? What’s going on kid?” Tony asked, him popping up on the phone’s screen.

“Hey da-” Peter started automatically before immediately noticing his mistake, the look on Ned’s face proved that yes, he almost called Tony Stark dad. He needed to try recover quickly because the look on Tony’s face seemed confused, especially with his slight pause. “-aaaaaamn Mr. Stark I really like your shirt. Where’d you get it?”

Smooth.

---

5 times Peter called Tony Dad and the 1 time Tony called himself Dad

5 Times Tony Took Care of Peter..., by As_Clear_As_Crystal 

“Think if I coded a sign into your suit that says ‘Baby on Board,’ maybe criminals wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about murdering you?” Tony asks airily, poking at the bottom of Peter’s foot.

Peter halfheartedly kicks at Tony with his toe. (“That’s offensive, Mr. Stark.” )

- - -

aka: Five times Tony took care of Peter, and one time Peter took care of Tony.

5 times Peter is stuck with Tony, by @iron--spider

(...and one time he’s stuck alone.)

“I wonder if Pepper’s reported me missing yet,” Tony says, with an exaggerated sigh. “I wonder if this is some kind of scheme to kidnap me or something.”

“I think the ride’s just broken,” Peter says.

“Today of all goddamn days,” Tony says, exasperation clear in his voice and in his eyes. “Ruining our trip—”

“It’s not ruined,” Peter says. “Look, we’re hanging out."

“Real quality time,” Tony huffs. “Us, a few other trapped members of the general public, and a handful of animatronic pirates. Drunk pirates. Repeating themselves.”

5 times tony forgot peter was just a kid, by @parkrstark

...and the 1 time he didn't.

Or the one where it was hard for Tony to remember that the kid fighting next to him was still just a kid.

can i get a good night’s sleep ? can i PLEASE get a good night’s sleep ?, by peterstank 

The doors open and there’s Peter, perched on a gurney with his shirt gone and a whole lot of blood staining his side. He’s bent awkwardly, clearly trying to feel his way around whatever wound he’s got.

“Um,” Tony says, approaching, “What.”

Peter looks up and—yeah, he’s lost a lot more blood than Tony had originally thought. His face is completely fucking drained. “Hey,” he says, offering a jaunty wave before returning his attention to his side. “I got shot.”

“Oh!” Tony nods. “Oh, okay. What the fuck, kiddo?”

or: five times peter doesn’t sleep + the one time he does

Five Times Peter and Tony Had Each Other’s Back, by Sahiya

... and One Time They Needed Help.

Peter is Tony’s Biological Child

I Had the Dream Again, by Skeeter_110

Peter calls Tony in the middle of the night crying.

Congratulations, it’s a Boy, by capiocapi 

"Sir, I have the results.”

“Okay, Jarvis. Hit me.”

“It’s a match. 99.9% chance that he is your biological son, which is the percentage needed to be recognized by law as a biological parent.”

Tony’s stomach did a funny swooping dance. “Great. Congratulations to me then, eh? It’s a boy.”

You Are My Sunshine, by @iamconstantine

Tony Stark had always been a man of science and he always would be. It was his personal and fundamental belief that everything had an explanation. His eventual encounters with Norse gods, alien life, and sorcerers did kind of quake this a little bit, but still.

One thing that had always confounded him as the one thing that had no scientific explanation was fate. Murphy’s law, Finagle’s law, the butterfly effect, the domino effect, the snowball effect, and the wisest of all: “Shit happens.”

So how peculiar was it that one of the greatest things to ever happen to him began with a tray of champagne?

Serie i love you more than anything, by @iron--spider 

The highs and lows of Tony unexpectedly becoming a single dad at 31– from Peter’s early baby years, all the way past the defeat of Thanos

May’s abusive boyfriend trope 

A Peter Parker Problem, by @spagbol99

Peter Parker was back from the dead. At least that is what everybody told him. He'd been snapped out of existence until some sort of time travel and an active death wish by his mentor had saved him and the universe. Just your average sort of life for a 16 year old from Queens.

Peter comes back to find May has a husband and a kid. A new family he has to fit into. But he has done it before, he can do it again.

The only thing that feels solid is Tony: the Blip and fatherhood have mellowed him and Peter loves the bond they have now. He knows Tony would be there for him through anything. But Tony needs to focus on his own recovery - not small time Peter Parker problems. When things at home take a turn for the worse, Peter decides that he'll handle it himself. He is Spider-man. He's been to space and fought aliens. He can get through anything. After all, if May is happy, he is happy, right? Right?

(again, I’ve read a lot more but can’t find it...)

Peter Parker Whump (everyone’s favorite trope)

Danger Pizza, by alice_in_ink

The window was pushed open, and Iron Man’s head popped into his bedroom. “Here’s where I’m confused—why lock the front door but leave the fire-escape-accessible windows unlocked?” He clambered through said window. “Seems like a safety hazard.”

Peter eyed the metal suit as it straightened to a standing position. “Did you break into my window to kill me?”

The face plate lifted, and Tony’s eyes quickly looked over the teen. “Christ, kid. It looks like you’re halfway there.”

...

A wild night on patrol leaves Peter with a broken back, and boy, does he want to be able to move without dying. (So he calls Anthony Stark, obviously.)

If You Can’t Catch A Breath (You Can Take The Oxygen Straight Out Of My Own Chest), by @losingmymindtonight

"And I would hurry. Little Peter is about to be under quite a lot of pressure, and it might get a little hard to breathe.”

I’ve Got You, by @thedumbestavenger

Peter runs into a Copycat Vulture out on patrol, from there, everything escalates.

Meetings and Migraines, by AllThingsGeeky

Peter has another migraine at an unfortunate time and despite his best efforts he can’t ignore it forever.

The Most Important Thing In The World, by S0lstice

Peter’s door creaked and began to bend under the force of the crowbar and for the first time since regaining consciousness, fear began to press into him. Something very bad was happening and it was happening fast - too fast for his sluggish mind to keep up.

He went with his instincts instead, the first one always being, Help Mr. Stark.

Friendly Fire, by @jolinarjackson

Finding a careful truce with the government, the “rogue Avengers” are allowed to return to the Compound where they are put under house arrest. Peter coming to spend one week at the Compound during his summer break couldn’t have come at a more inconvenient time as the opportunity to bond a little more with his mentor is overshadowed by a conflict he doesn’t quite understand. When he starts to develop a mysterious medical condition, however, the former team is forced to work together – not just to protect Peter’s identity from the DODC, but also to find the cause for his illness before it’s too late.

“He’s my kid,” Tony said, his voice hoarse. “He’s my kid and I failed him.” He covered his eyes and took a few deep, shuddering breaths. “All I ever do is fail him.” Natasha knelt down in front of him and cupped his face in her hands, waiting for him to meet her eyes before she said, “Right now, he doesn’t need you to fix this. He doesn’t need you down here. He needs you over there, in the medbay, by his side.” She thumbed tears from the corners of his eyes and ignored the ones running down her own face. “You haven’t failed him yet.”

alarm bells and panic levels, by @iron--spider

Tony lands heavy on the dock, the wood splintering hard under the metal suit. He’s having trouble breathing, his nose is bleeding, he most definitely has more than the recommended amount of broken ribs. But none of that fucking matters. The sky is clear, the assholes are down, but there’s one thing missing.

He looks over his shoulder when Rhodey lands too. His suit is dented in a few places but other than that he looks alright. His face mask flips up and Tony lets his mask retract.

“Where’s Peter?” Tony asks, his voice rough with the amount of yelling he’s been doing. Fuck these stupid assholes. They were supposed to go mini-golfing today. The kid had been looking forward to it for weeks.

Rhodey looks around, breathing hard through his mouth. “I thought you knew.”

there’s something wrong, by @iron--spider

“I’m sorry, Pete,” Tony whispers. “We should have checked you for something like this when we were resetting your arm and checking on the concussion. Goddamnit. We didn’t think.”

“He poisoned us both?” Peter asks, trying to open one eye to look at him.

“Yeah,” Tony says, brushing Peter’s hair back from his forehead. “He’s dying. He got the brunt of it, a nice fucking cocktail of bullshit, including mercury and a bunch of other toxic shit—”

“Am I dying?” Peter whispers, voice breaking.

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces), by aloneintherain

Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

“Spidey, they’ve got reinforcements. We’ve hit a bit of a snag here, and I don’t think anyone will be able to help you for a while. Think you can sit tight while we deal with this?”

The pressure on his lower back and legs was becoming too much. Peter swallowed thickly, fighting down panic. He could handle this.

“Yeah,” Peter said. “I can do that.”

Collections/Series (’cause I could make an inventory of all @iron--spider stories, you know, but you have to read all of her work, if you haven’t yet) (God she doesn’t even know who I am)

iron dad bingo, by @iron--spider

stay at home, by @iron--spider

whumptober, by @iron--spider

Whumptober 2019, by @marvelous-writer

Day in the life of the Iron Family, by @marvelous-writer 

The Tumblr Archives, by @losingmymindtonight

Everything comes back to you, by @losingmymindtonight

Nice work, kid, by @madasthesea

Irondad Bingo 2019, by sahiya 

The Adventures of Spidy-son and Iron-dad, by eva7673

Tony adopts Peter (why everyone kills May, btw ?)

Accepting the Tides, by @emma--anacortes

Tony had dragged Peter from the depths of despair after May's death. It was normal that he'd grown to care a little about him, right?

Yeah, okay. He freaking loved the kid.

So naturally he would feel a little weird when Richard Parker randomly shows up in Peter's life. Naturally he'd feel protective, nervous, and confused because where has Richard been all this time? And why does Tony feel sick every time he sees him around Peter?

All he knows is if Richard hurts his kid, Tony's gonna give him hell.

Series Out of Darkness, by @starryknight09

“Is this Peter Parker?”

“Yes…”

“This is Dr. Nguyen. I’m sorry but your aunt’s been in an accident and we’re going to need you to come to Queens Memorial as soon as you can.”

Peter's life shatters with a phone call. The last person he expects helps him pick up the pieces.