#if i’m being honest i preferred his EA voice

[areyouwho-ithinkyouare]

even in early access Wyll was always my fave bg3 companion like he’s the only one that i’d actually WANT to spend time with in real life but in all my time playing this game (both EA and full release) i CANNOT romance him. the characters i make just. none of them would choose him. i would choose him 100% of the time but my characters are always like. eh.

[catgirlfranklin]

ranking every version of the song being alive that’s available on spotify because i’m bored. (in my opinion of course)

this is in no way judging the actors or their singing capability, because even in things like 2020 company (🤢) the actors still put lots of time and effort into their performances, this is just my opinion on the recordings themselves.

1. the 2006 revival cast, staring raúl esperza.

still a classic even if it’s not THE classic. not to be basic but raúl is my favourite recorded bobby so this one hits hard. i really enjoy the how the volume of his voice changes with his tone, something that doesn’t happen in later versions. 10/10

2. the classic, 1970 OBC cast, starring dean jones.

the classic, how could you not love it. this one was almost tied with the 2007 version but raúl was my first exposure to this show so that’s #1. the voices were very full, all the cast has lots of feeling, and the trumpet riffs at the end are my favorite of those. 10/10 i have listened to it on repeat for hours ans would again

3. being alive LIVE! starring bernadette peters.

i love bernadette and this is no exception. this cover is in no way my favorite version of this song ever but i really enjoyed this female-sung cover with the funky orchestra. i loved how it was slightly jazzier than most versions and it eas really fun to bop out to. 8/10

4. the 1970 OBC bonus track recording starring larry kert

another excellent version!! i still much prefer the original OBC with dean but this isn’t a bad rendition. the classic slow backtrack was still different from the original but it fit right in with the singers voices to make an extremely pleasant experience to listen to. 8/10

5. patti lupone’s live cover.

PATTI!!!! i absolutely love her voice and this is another female sing cover i really enjoy. like the bernadette cover this is one ive listened to for fun and have thoroughly enjoyed. she has a very full voice while singing that complements the backtrack that other versions didn’t achieve.

6. the barbra streisand cover.

i’m going to be honest, when i was jumping through the song to make sure it was actually being alive, i thought it wasn’t for a second. there’s such a bizarre backtrack on this cover but the longer i listened to it the more i started to grove with it. it struggled with keeping the tempo/pacing up but the lyrics and tone were the same. i still loved barbras voice on this so 3.5/10

7. The 2020 revival starring rosalie craig.

no. just no. i’m not saying that she’s not talented because she does a wonderful job singing this song but i just can’t comprehend that this is an actual performance and not just a cover. a woman playing bobby(ie) isn’t a bad thing but this just feels terribly off. the emotion put on every word is good though, even if it feels awkward at some pauses. 3/10

8. the glee official cover, starring i have no idea i tried looking it up but i have never even seen glee please tell me if u know the actor

as i have stated before i have never seen glee aside from a clip of their ‘getting married today’ cover so i can’t compare it to any of their other stuff but this feels bad. they completely changed some notes that bobby sings and the pacing and it just was an uncomfortable unenjoyable experience for me to sit through for 4 minutes and 26 seconds. no hate to the actor but that just isn’t the right casting. i felt like this was pushing his range a bit so they changed a lot about it and just. no. 1/10

9. cyrille aimee’s cover.

i absolutely loved the album cover of this song so i thought i would enjoy it but this sounds like royalty free music i would hear on a cruise ship. i have never listened to any of her other stuff but i hated the weird caribbean-cruise type vibe this whole song had going on. they also cut up her lines for piano riffs and flat-sounding saxophone falls and it sounded extremely choppy. she also had very short raspy-ish endings to the really heavy lines and it completely ruined the tone. 0/10

10. the vocatave cover (featuring david phelps).

no no no this hurt my ears. i am extremely sensitive to weird gospel-sounding singing like this with hollow sounding notes and this made me cringe the entire time. the singers have wonderful ranges but this triggered every single no no i have for music types. i couldn’t even finish the song. -1000/10 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

please don’t hate me after this and feel free to add your opinions to this if you have any!!!

[youcantfiremebecauseiquit]

I think Courtney Love is as fake as Emilie Autumn. They both created alternate pasts and idealized identities for the images they want to project as famous people.

I just realized i wrote 2 pages or something of text. If you asked me in person i’d tell you maybe two sentences but when i have to write, i write too much. Sorry lol.

It’s your opinion and you have right to think so. But CL being comparable to Emilie Autumn? Dude. Alternate pasts? What pasts? Courtney Love didn’t create her past, she literally had fucked up past. And she didn’t lie about her family. She would sometimes exaggerate while saying her Hollywood/rock anecdotes but she didn’t lie about her past. I recommend buying „Dirty Blonde”. Idk, I think you simply don’t like her. Courtney Love had kinderwhore look for a few years and then switched to designer clothes, but she doesn’t undermine her previous looks and records (except for Pretty On The Inside, she doesn’t like it now). Courtney doesn’t create any fake alternate reality, she have recurring themes (like fallen women for example), but she does what she wants while Emilie milks the same old worn out thing for years. She writes about anything she wants to, from violence towards women and shady strip club situations, fallen women, eating disorders, post partum depression, riot grrrl poser movements and elitism to love, mourning, beauty/ugliness and finally being broken, in a constant falling-rising up-falling cycle (especially on later records). EA basically only writes about one subject for years. Courtney’s music may not be complicated and she might not have a perfect voice/looks/personality but she’s honest in her songs – girls and boys worldwide find themselves in her lyrics and experiences. You may not like her but that doesn’t mean her music is fake. I don’t think Emilie Autumn’s lyrics are fake either, it’s just that she’s narcissistic, mean and compulsively lying, rewriting her past every few years and only accepting endless praise – if you don’t like her, you’re her enemy. Courtney Love doesn’t care. She lets people think whatever they want to think.

As a Courtney Love fan knowing a lot about her i look at her a little different than people not liking her/not reading,listening to her. Courtney Love fans know well that sometimes you’ve got to take what Courtney says with a huge grain of salt, cause she likes to exaggerate stories to make them more interesting. (And Kurt Cobain did the very same thing. “Rock’n’roll stories” from his diaries. The whole “i was bullied cause i desperately tried to sleep with disabled girl in high school” story from Montage of Heck? That’s a madeup story he wrote in diary and later recorded on tape when he was bored. Somehow people don’t consider him “liar”.) Usually as a Courntey fan you learn to notice that border, and you can somehow “feel” where she exaggerates. Mostly i’d say when we notice those moments we all kind of get amused and laugh it off & continue to reading further. It’s not like we immediately get offended like “OMG she’s a liar i’m a fan no more”. The problem with EA is nobody believed she could ever lie, you would get hunted by fans if you dared to doubt her words. Her „history” was designed as something 100% true and real, but it turned out there’s more of fake than truth, yet she still continues to keep up her lies.

You can dislike Courtney’s nowadays lifestyle like red carpet designer dresses and all that glamour. But “creating a past and persona” or being a liar comparable to Emilie Autumn? How so? She doesn’t lie about her name - everybody knows her real name and she never pretended that Love is her birth surename. She adapted name Courtney Love in 80′s after her friend Pat Smear (from The Germs & later Nirvana) told her this would be a good artistic nickname for her. 

Courtney Love never lied about her parents or her youth. She had bad experiences with her family & certainly was raised poorly, but she didn’t try to rewrite her story or bury her parents in the “fire” (although she has good reasons to). Everybody knows about her therapist mother Linda Carrol & her father is Hank Harrison, previously manager of The Grateful Dead band. Courtney was even featured on the back cover on one of their records as a tiny child. Courtney wasn’t on good terms with mother and usually circled between her and other relatives. Her father is a complete piece of shit - he gave Courtney LSD when she was a toddler, which was why he lost a custody of her. He claims to know his daughter so well, even though he wasn’t raising her at all, and wrote a fucking book about how psychotic Courtney is, although he lost custody of her when she was a tiny toddler. And how Courtney killed Kurt. No, actually, he wrote A FUCKING BIOGRAPHY OF KURT, even though he never met him. Of course Kurt-was-murdered conspiracy fans consider him their beloved mascot because of that, asking for his opinion & believing anything he says.

Her family certainly weren’t as rich as EA’s, but they had some recognition and money. In the beginning of 80′s CL started getting some trust fund left by maternal grandparents, so she could afford going to other countries & make additional money stripping. 

Later she spent youth in different countries & boarding schools, later got arrested for shoplifting and spent time in correctional facility for teenage girls. In Dirty Blonde book she wrote about her experiences from that time, printed some papers from Hillcrest describing her behaviour. Idk, but Emilie Autumn took A HUGE inspiration from Courtney’s Dirty Blonde book. All the idea for including papers from hospital, all scrapbooking style was taken from Courtney. Even the fucking “red crayon” - guess what, Courtney’s book begins with a letter from facility written in red crayon, cause they don’t allow them to have pens.

The only thing i have doubts about are her universities. She said she studied English, philosophy & theology but I think it was only a few months/semesters. When you say someone studied this and that you immediately think the person finished studies, but in fact she was starting and dropping learning. But she never said she graduated or anything, so i think it is obvious she studied for one or two semesters or in weekends or something.

She always had an interest in rock music, although she prefered 80′s new wave and stuff like Fleetwood Mac and Echo and The Bunnymen, which she always admitted anyway. It’s not like she suddenly adapted rock music after it became profitable. She only learned how to play guitar in the very beginnings of Hole, so she probably only wanted to sing earlier. In the 80′s she spent time in Liverpool. She was hanging around with Echo and The Bunnymen band and apparently lived at Julian Cope’s house. It’s not made up, cause Cope was really jealous of her fame in 90′s. Plus i heard he wrote about her in his autobiography. Somebody wrote a book about Courtney’s time spent in Liverpool and London this year, but i don’t have it yet. But it’s not like she took all those stories from nowhere, she really spent time living with Echo & being a friend/roadie for other bands. I remember she also knew Joe Strummer, she was a friend or a roadie for The Clash. Later they also starred in Alex Cox’s movie. She was a young impressionable girl at the time, so she was learning from those bands. She had more goth/punk style at the time. 

People excuse her of leeching of whatever rockband she can & you can interpret it however you want, but seeing how she roadied with punk bands in her teens and how she liked to meet new rock bands after she got famous shows she liked to surround herself with people from rock circles. Men from rock bands hang around other men/women from other bands all the time but it’s always Courtney Love that gets shit for that.

You can doubt Courtney’s words on her inventing “kinderwhore” and starting that style trend. Although it was Courtney who coined that term. People usually yell that Courtney is unoriginal and that she stole the style from Kat Bjelland. And i say bullshit, it wasn’t even started by Kat. The girl from Divinyls did it before (CL admited she took it from her), Kim Shattuck of The Muffs did it before.

She said she liked cute dresses so much as an adult cause her mother always dressed her up rather manly– if you look at her childhood photos she indeed wasn’t looking like a „girly girl”, her mother was much into hippie culture. She got into that feminine look as she lost a lot of weight in the beginning of 90’s, so i guess that’s why she could pull off that babydoll look. Anyway here’s the interview where she explains the idea behind her style:

Courtney listened to different bands, she liked harsh noise like Big Black but she also liked Fleetwood Mac. She posted an advert she’s looking for people inspired by these particular bands, so it’s not like she was lying about her softer music side. I believe Pretty On The Inside was partly a “fuck you” to Kat Bjelland, partly she wanted to record the heaviest, most noisy record by a girl-fronted band. You could say she wasn’t honest cause she tried to impress people from that scene and be cool enough for them. Well, Courtney actually admitted later she wanted to prove her worth, impress people from that scene etc. That’s why the record is so noisy. But the lyrics aren’t fake. That kind of writing was consistent in her poems. She took those themes from her experiences, people she knew and situations she observed as a girl in a stripping business.

I don’t know how can anyone even judge if Live Through This era was fake or not, recording wise she competed with her husband and wanted a more polished record. But later in 1994 or 1995 she was a wreck, numbed with heroin after what happened. It’s really fucking hard to „fake a persona” when you’re a) mourning b) on heroin/oxy. What’s there to fake? Wearing skirts, missing Kurt or being on drugs? That’s fucking disrespectful to say that was „fake”.

Now a lot of people say she sucked after Celebrity Skin, but the truth is Celebrity Skin was probably her most real album/era soundwise. And I don’t even like this album that much. It was inspired by new wave/more poppy rock bands she loved and Courtney was actually satisfied with how it sounds. It was just a good time to her – she quit drugs, she had a successful album and tour, she was nominated for Golden Globe in 1996, she looked genuinely happy and glowing. People were mad cause she changed style – i think she changed style because of her acting career, to continue acting she probably wanted more polished look. But was it always that polished? She would hang out her tits onstage or dress as that „trash fairy” in 1999, so I’d say this glittery look was also partly ironic. And people saying she’s fake cause she chose acting career seem to forget she originally wanted to be an actress, she played in Sid and Nancy & Straight To Hell in 80’s.

People who say „oh she’s a fame whore” – well it’s not like she was ever hiding she likes/she always wanted fame. She wrote she likes fame because it’s challenging, because she gets off on it, etc.

I have mixed feelings about her designer clothes and red carpet looks and at times it seems fake to me too, cause red carpet is usually fake and embarrassing. It’s quite a contrast to her older punk & kinderwhore style. But people change with age anyway… Brody Dalle doesn’t look especially punk anymore, Kat Bjelland doesn’t wear dolly clothes. Emilie Autumn looks like a fucking christian grandma, sorry. Courtney Love likes designer clothes. *shrug*

However Courtney Love’s character and behaviour is consistent throughout the years, she talks the same as always. She doesn’t craft a new personality every few years like EA and she doesn;t erase her past like EA. She doesn’t milk her fans making overpriced shitty merch. It’s true it’s been a lot of years since she last released a CD, but she’s been releasing singles and touring A LOT during this decade, also engaging in fashion design and art. Emilie Autumn sits at home and makes stupid faces at her iPhone, produces more merch and doesn’t make/post music/play violin anymore.

The only thing I don’t like about her is how she can’t play guitar anymore. She used to know how to play guitar, you can watch any 1990-1995 show to see she knew how to play guitar. In CS era she would sing without guitar more, but she still could play. But after 2010 her abilities decreased a lot, someone leaked a sound of her live guitar and it turned out her playing became really… weak. She said after her cocaine use she lost ability to play and didn’t even know how to move her fingers, that she was learning playing all over again in rehab. Idk if something happened to her hands or if she’s just too lazy these days. It would improve if she just practiced everyday. Of course if you don’t practice you’ll get worse – i know it well cause i had a few years without playing guitar too. But it’s not like it’s impossible to improve. Other than that… yeah, i’m not really crazy about her designer clothes and event looks. I don’t like things like that. But she likes it, so why shouldn’t she go with that.

Courtney can be nice, can be mean, but she never flipped shit the same as Emilie Autumn. She likes fame but she knows where she fucks up while Emilie most of the time thinks she’s more famous than she is and is so full of herself. Courtney Love knows she’s not the greatest guitarist and singer, while Emilie thinks of herself as „virtuoso” and shades every other violinist in rock music (and violists), while in fact she is the epitome of „failed violinist”. She played music for easily impressionable fans who knew nothing about classical music, so it was easy for her to impress them with her fake violin playing with violin playback coming straight from the tape. It takes to be a high level of being a snowflake to claim you’re a virtuoso when in reality you never play live and if you do you play only scales, making beginner mistakes and being mediocre at most.  

Emilie Autumn always presented everything about herself to be true and personal, people believed her and literally praised her for that, feeling connection with her because they had bipolar disorder or stayed at psychiatric hospital, or lost family in a fire for real… And then it turned out all of Emilie Autumn’s life was a lie. She was hiding a real bitch under the guise of this cool „virtuoso” goth bipolar girl Emilie Autumn. Every year brought some new drama, she was less and less credible. She behaved awfully and treated her fandom like  shit repeatedly. I don’t know, i got interested in her at some point but i can’t stand her now & i don’t keep up with her stuff anymore (although i read on her latest blm drama), why bother yourself with someone who doesn’t respect anyone. You can dislike Courtney Love and i understand it, but I don’t see how she could be comparable to EA’s shit.

As for „idealized identities”… you realize that Courtney was on drugs most of her career? She would fuck up so much, getting ridiculed by the press and regular people. She would often embarrass herself unintentionally, she would often end up all smeared and tousled in a way that wasn’t planned as a „kinderwhore look for the evening”. Getting fat, getting horribly thin, sometimes looking nice but often looking what society perceives as ugly. People hated her and they still do. Her life was a mess at various points of her life and she was judged harshly… if that idealized version to you? People might preffer her kinderwhore days but when i look at it now, she had better days but some certain looks from early 90’s sometimes only highlighted how bad she felt at the time. Her most „ideal” version was 1996 and Celebrity Skin look, up to 2000 i’d say, she would wear nice clothes, brush her hair, add glitter, looking glam – as i said, she quit drugs in 1996 to be able to play in movies, i believe she wanted her life to change for the better, to try to be happier, to look nicer and cleaner and to set an example for her daughter. I think it’s awesome that she manager to get better, i wish i could change my life. Unfortunately in 2003 she went downhill again, this time it was in some days even worse cause she got into cocaine and something else, her album was a flop (interestingly, there was another, rockier version of American’s Sweetheart but Virgin Records told her to rerecord everything and put out worse songs), she would end up in court, she would lose the custody of Frances and had to go through drug tests and rehabs. She had ED i think, she gained a lot of weight at the time then went to stick thin. It was dragging on and you know how it went later, she was better and worse moments, still doing prescription drugs on and off, flopping with new version of Hole. I haven’t checked what she’s doing these days and kind of lost track but i think she’s so much better now and successful, she’s got fans wanting to see her live, she reunited with Hole members and she released a few solo singles that were actually fucking awesome (Courtney don’t be shy, make a new album, you actually write good songs recently). „Idealized identities”, well she’s as idealized as Amy Winehouse, lol.  

Courtney is human and makes mistakes all the time, but she doesn’t get offended when someone points them out and acknowledges her mistakes. Emilie Autumn thinks she does nothin wrong, she’s always right and if you don’t like it, fuck you, get outta her house, fucking patronizing fucking. Idk why should i explain it any longer, it’s obvious.