#if i watch fucking ANYTHING and he sees it. hes like. oh youre watching RANGO? oh youre watching DANNY PHANTOM?

[bbeelzemon]

my entire childhood, my older brothers kept telling me to shut up about my interests, so i learned to stop talking about them to other people, and now that we’re all adults, my middle brother now decides he wants to infodump his current obsessions at me for 20 minutes straight every few hours, as if he wouldnt have told me to stop it if i were to do the same thing to him when i was younger

[skinks]

hi!!! what are your favourite movies? like actually good ones but also any trashy comfort movies? is IT (2017) one of them?

Hello!! IT (2017) IS ABSOLUTELY ONE OF THEM oh man, thank you for this, I love talking about movies!!!! This is possibly the most difficult question you could have asked me. Apologies for how absolutely off the rails this got, I just... love movies so much lmao

I’ve said this before, but opening night of IT ch1 was the best cinema experience I’ve ever had, I’m so glad I got to see it with a fully packed audience who were all laughing and screaming together the whole way through. I’m a huge fan of... everything ch1 was doing, the 80s nostalgia, the summer-coming-of-age themes, the solid ghost train funhouse JOY of the Pennywise performance and scares, the washed-out cinematography, the tiny background details to make everything that much more eerie, the kids’ ACTING?!

Like, a lot of the time I find child actors can be really awkward and stilted to watch, but I remember leaving the cinema really impressed by JDG and Sophia Lillis in particular. I liked that they were all allowed to be little shitheads with potty mouths, it felt like a callback to 80s movies like The Lost Boys or Stand By Me. The whole thing worked to make me really care about what happened to the kids (even if I do still have issues with how they handled Mike. I understand even ch1 had limitations with juggling so many characters, but still). I saw it another 2 times in the cinema and have rewatched it at least, I dunno, 7-10 more times since then?

Add to all of that the retroactive CANON R+E baby pining subplot? I just love it, as if that wasn’t obvious by now given my Whole Blog. It’s a really special movie to me!

Anyway!! Ok, the main handful of movies I rewatch all the fucking time are:

Back to the Future, The Lost Boys, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Jaws, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Ocean’s 11, POTC 1, The Dark Knight, Inception, Die Hard, LOTR trilogy, Snatch, The Nice Guys, Logan Lucky, Mad Max Fury Road, Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Billy Elliot, Dirty Dancing, Tomb Raider (2018)...

Those are the easily consumable ones that I’ve seen so many times I don’t really have to concentrate or think about them, but I really love them and unfortunately often KEEP rewatching them instead of new stuff. It would take too long to go into why I love all these movies so much because I could write the same amount as I already did for ITCH1, and everyone already knows why those movies are good, so, lol.

I think I’m gonna have to subdivide and categorise this whole post because there are too many separate criteria for... goOD MOVIES, AUUHH 😩

Okay so first off, HORROR MOVIES? I’m especially in love with Re-Animator (1985) and its sequel Bride of Re-Animator, they’re such good examples of camp and batshit 80s practical effects, and also EXTREMELY funny. I’m actually just gonna post my list of my fave horror movies that I do actually keep on my phone at all times lmao. These are in no particular order:

Wholeheartedly recommend every one of these. I’ve never been so scared in my life as I was watching Hereditary in the cinema, hoo boy. Mother! by Aronofsky is one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had (and I actually saw it on the same day I saw IT ch1 for the first time!! That was a fun day)

Psycho (1960) and The Fly from 1986 should also be on there but I couldn’t fit them in the screenshot.

I’m a HUGE fan of a ton of martial arts movies too, like Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Ip Man, The Raid movies, John Wick 3 is my fave of the trilogy, Drive from 1997 with Mark Dacascos is incredible, SPL 2, Ong-Bak, Operation Condor, Project A, Iron Monkey, and Zatoichi (2003) are some favourites.

My favourite Tarantino is Reservoir Dogs, fave Coen brothers are Raising Arizona, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs and O Brother Where Art Thou. Love some old-timey colour correction and weird offbeat dialogue. I also love Goodfellas!!! And Donnie Brasco! And The Firm, I’m so easy for any good crime/law/gangster/heist procedural like that, especially if they’re from the 80s or 90s in a super dated way.

Fave Disney movie is Tarzan, favourite Ghibli movies are Spirited Away and Lupin III. I remember watching Spirited Away during a thunderstorm one time and it being.... god! Transcendent! Favourite Pixar movie is The Incredibles (the first one. ALSO the documentary “The Pixar Story” is great and well worth a watch, it’s very comforting for some reason) and my favourite Dreamworks movies are HTTYD1 and Spirit: Stallion of the Cimmaron.

I tend to watch more anime movies than tv shows, so stuff like Akira, The Girl Who Leapt Through Time, Summer Wars, Journey to Agartha, and my ultimate fave anime is Sword of the Stranger (2008). The climactic fight in that movie is fucking stunning and should be counted in “bests fights” lists right alongside anything live action

Also if we’re talking animated movies another hearty favourite is Rango, and a Belgian stop-motion (which at one time I considered my favourite movie ever) called Panique Au Village (2009) which is one of the funniest movies ever made imo.

As for TRASHY movies, I’m not sure if that’s the right word for how I feel about these ones but.. dumb/silly/slightly guilty pleasure movies? Ones that I feel need some kind of justification lmfao

Troy - something u must know about me is that I’m a giant slut for the Assassin’s Creed franchise, so if a movie smashes historical and mythological nonsense together with fun costumes and sword fights, I’m gonna enjoy myself. Even if they should have made Achilles and Patroclus gay. Other movies in this vein are King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, and Immortals (2011)

Gods of Egypt - I know all the reasons this movie is whitewashed bullshit. But it was already bullshit with giant Anubis mecha and giant snakes and bad acting and ridiculous CGI and frankly I had a blast at the cinema (my friend who I forced to come with me did not have a blast. Sorry H***)

Avatar - yes, the one with the big blue people. This movie gets a lot of flack nowadays but I really do enjoy it just for the spectacle. The full CGI world technology was so new at the time and I love to wallow in the visuals and daydream about riding a cool dragon around in the jungle

George of the Jungle - I’ll defend this movie to the death ok this movie shaped me as a person, it is fucking hilarious and Brendan Fraser is the himbo to end all himbos. It’s perfect. The song Dela is perfect. I still want to write a reddie AU about it. It’s one of the best movies ever made and I’m not being ironic

Set It Up - I KNOW this is a dumb Netflix original romcom but consider this; it was funny and the leads had great chemistry. I got butterflies. I once watched it and then literally immediately set it back to the start so I could watch it again

The Brady Bunch Movie - when people talk about great satires or parodies you will see them bring up the same movies over and over again, Blazing Saddles, This Is Spinal Tap etc, but they never talk about The Brady Bunch Movie from 1995 for some reason, which they should. It is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and every time i watch it somehow it gets funnier

Some more general favourites that I do still love but don’t rewatch as often, and don’t wanna go into more detail about are:

Moon (2009), Crna Mačka Beli Mačor, The Sixth Sense, Parasite, The Handmaiden, Tremors, Wet Hot American Summer, Tucker and Dale vs Evil, What We Do In The Shadows, Hunt For the Wilderpeople, The Secret of My Success (I love kitschy 80s movies, is that obvious by now), The Green Mile, When Harry Met Sally, Rear Window, The Odd Couple, Breaking Away, Pan’s Labyrinth, To Kill A Mockingbird, The Eagle, Gladiator, The Artist, The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec, Call Me By Your Name, Master and Commander, Pacific Rim, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Legend (1985), Emma. (2020), Flash Gordon, Trolljegeren, Hross í Oss, Beverly Hills Cop, Coming to America, WarGames, District 9, Ajeossi (2010), Tracks (2013), Sightseers, Mud (2012), Pitch Black, Four Lions, Shaun of the Dead, Starship Troopers, The Truman Show, Withnail & I....... Jesus Christ ok I need to stop

NOTABLE EXTREME FAVOURITES that I didn’t include in the regular rewatch list because they’re too heavy/not as well known/require more attention.:

Thin Red Line (1998), Badlands (1973) both dir. Terrence Malick

Malick’s brand of dreamy impressionistic filmmaking is something I find really appealing, both of these movies are gorgeous and unusual and poignant and, in the case of Thin Red Line at least, have a lot of things to say about a lot of rough subjects. I don’t totally understand all those things sometimes, but a theme with a lot of my favourite movies is that I’ll be more likely to love something long-term if it raises unanswered questions, or is surreal/esoteric etc. Plus the cinematography is incredible, and I wish there was a way to get Jim Caviezel’s narration from The Thin Red Line as an audiobook because it’s very poetic and soothing.

Let the Bullets Fly (2010) dir. Jiang Wen

This movie is WILD, it’s so much fun. It’s sprawling and intricate and epic and smart and really fucking funny, it! Has! Everything! A gang of very tolerant outlaws!! Jiang Wen’s beautiful broad chest!!! Chow Yun Fat absolutely DECIMATING the scenery, and the two of them outsmarting each other in order to gain control of a small Chinese town!!! Plus it’s long, but it packs so much nonsense and intrigue that it goes by really fast. Wow what a flick

A Field in England (2013) dir. Ben Wheatley

I know I included this in my horror list but aaaaahhh ahhhh Wheatley is one of my favourite directors (he also made Sightseers, and is directing the Tomb Raider sequel which makes me absolutely rabid.) This is a surreal black-and-white psychological horror black comedy set in the English Civil War about some deserters who may or may not meet the Devil in a field. People eat mushrooms. It’s bonkers. I love being blasted in the face with imagery that I don’t understand

Mandy (2018) dir. Panos Cosmatos

Speaking of being blasted in the face!!!!! This movie... I saw it in the cinema and I can’t even begin to explain the experience, but I’ll try. My favourite review site described it like this:

“...somewhere between a prog album cover come to life and a metal album cover come to life, and subscribes to both genre's artistic tendency towards maximalism: what it ends up being is basically naught else but two glorious hours of being pounded by bold colors...”

So, prog and metal are my two favourite genres of music. This movie opens with the quote “When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I'm dead.” and then a King Crimson song, it is SURREAL to the nth degree, it’s violent and bizarre and Nic Cage forges a giant silver axe to destroy demonic bikers and there is a CHAINSAW DUEL. A galaxy swirls above a quarry. Multiple animated horror nightmare sequences. At one point a man says “you exude a cosmic darkness” and releases a live tiger. At another point Cage says, in a digitally deepened voice, “The psychotic drowns where the mystic swims. You’re drowning. I’m swimming.” and I haven’t stopped thinking about it for two years

Paper Moon (1973) dir. Peter Bogdanovich

Really fantastic movie set in the Great Depression (and also in black & white) about a conman and a little kid who may or may not be his daughter, running cons across the Midwest. It’s beautifully shot, so sharp and sweet and the progression of their dynamic is really well done because they’re played by an IRL father and daughter. Tatum O’Neal was NINE YEARS OLD and she’s so amazing in this movie she’s actually the youngest person to win a competitive category Oscar. I keep trying to get people to watch this fbdjfjdbf it’s wonderful

Alpha (2018) dir. Albert Hughes

THIS MOVIE IS A VICTIM OF BAD MARKETING ok, the trailers made it look like some twee crappy sentimental Boy And His Dog Adventure, plus it had voiceovers in American-accented english? That’s a total disservice to one of the coolest things about this film; the fact that they got a linguist to construct an entirely original Neolithic language that all the characters speak for the entire runtime. And yes, it is eventually a Boy And His Wolf adventure, but it’s COOL and fairly brutal, and it has some really incredible cinematography. The landscapes are so strange and barren and alien, you really get the sense that this is an ancient world we no longer have any connection to. And it’s also about like, the birth of dog & human companionship sooo it’s perfect.

Free Solo (2018) dir. Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi, Jimmy Chin

The Free Climbing Documentary. I loved climbing as a kid, I love outdoor sports, and I love movies that elicit a physical reaction in me, whether that’s horny, scared, real laughter, overwhelming shivers, or in the case of Free Solo - HORRIBLE SWEATING TENSION. Like, I knew about Alex Honnold beforehand because of this adventure film festival I go to every year and I followed him on IG so obviously I knew he lived, but the actual climb itself was torture. My hands sweat every time I see it!! It’s incredible, such a cool look into generally what the human body can do, and more specifically, why Honnold’s psychology and life means he’s so well suited to free soloing. It’s such an exercise in getting to know an individual and get invested in them, before they attempt something very potentially fatal.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

I can’t even talk about this. When I was around 13 I snuck downstairs to watch this on TV at 11pm in secret, and my life was forever changed. I wouldn’t be who I am if I hadn’t seen Brokeback at the age I did. I seriously can’t talk about this or I’ll write an even longer essay than this already is

God’s Own Country (2017) dir. Francis Lee

The antidote to Brokeback Mountain, I’m so glad I managed to see this one in the cinema too. It makes me cry every time, as someone who’s spent years working on a cold British farm with sheep it was very realistic, which is expected since Lee grew up on a farm in Yorkshire. I love that this movie isn’t really about being closeted, but about being so emotionally repressed and self-loathing that the main character finds it so hard to accept love. Or that he deserves to be loved. The cinnamontographies.... lordt... but also the intimacy and sex scenes are fucking searing wow who hasn’t seen this movie by now. 10 stars. 20 stars!!!

Tomboy (2011) dir. Céline Sciamma

I saw this years ago but I’ve never forgotten it, it cut so deep. It’s from the director of Portrait of a Lady on Fire and it’s about a gnc kid struggling with gender and misogyny and homophobia in a really raw, scrappy way, it reminded me very much of my own... childhood... ahh the central performance is amazing for such a young age. I haven’t seen Portrait yet but I feel like if you went nuts for that, you should definitely check this out, it’s lovely.

Donnie Darko (2001) dir. Richard Kelly

EVERY TIME I WATCH THIS MOVIE I UNDERSTAND LESS AND LESS and that’s what I love so much about it. I love surreal movies, I love time-fuckery and stuff about altered perception etc etc and Donnie Darko scratches all my itches. I wish I could find a way to figure out an IT AU for it, because I know it would work! Somehow! Plus it’s got the subdued 80s nostalgia and I found it at an age when I was really starting to explore movies and music and the soundtrack FUCKS.

Offside (2006) dir. Jafar Panahi

I wish more people knew about this!!! It’s an Iranian film about a disparate group of women and girls who are football fans and want to watch Iran’s qualifying match for the World Cup, but women aren’t allowed into the stadium, so they all get thrown into the Stadium Jail together? They don’t know each other beforehand, but it’s about their changing relationships with each other and the guards and just, their defiance alongside hearing the match from the outside and WOW it’s so lively. Great dialogue and very funny, and such a different kind of story from anything you usually see from Hollywood.

The Fall (2006) dir. Tarsem Singh

This movie... I guess it’s the ideal. This is the platonic ideal of a film for me, it has fantasy, magical realism, glorious visuals, amazing score and costumes and production design and a really interesting, heartbreaking relationship at the core of it. I don’t know why so many of my favourite films feature incredibly raw performances by child actors but this is another one, Catinca Untaru barely knew any English and improvised so much because of that, and it’s fascinating to watch! Also the dynamic with Lee Pace is one of my favourites, where a kid forms a friendship with a guardian figure who isn’t their parent, but the guardian grows to really care for them by the end. It’s like Paper Moon in that sense. What is there to even say about this movie, it’s pure magic joy tempered and countered by genuine gutwrenching emotional conflict in the real world, it’s also ABOUT old moviemaking, in a way, and it’s stunning to look at!

Mad Max Fury Road (2015) dir. George Miller

I know I included this in my “most rewatched” section but it deserves its own thing. We all know why this movie is fucking incredible. I remember clutching my armrests in the cinema and feeling like my skeleton was being blasted back into the seat behind me and tbh that is the high I’m constantly chasing when I go to see any movie. What a fucking gift this film is

Théo et Hugo dans le Même Bateau (2016) dir. Olivier Ducastel, Jacques Martineau

I only found this movie last year and it became an instant favourite. Initially I was just curious because I’d never seen a movie with unsimulated sex before, but it’s so much more than the 18 minute gay sex club orgy it opens with. No, not more than, AS WELL AS. The orgy is important because this movie is so candid and frank about sex and HIV treatment in the modern day, it was eye-opening. Another thing that really got me is that I’d never seen a real-time film before. It’s literally an hour and a half in the lives of these two men, their intense connection and conversation and conflict in the middle of the night in Paris, with some really nice night photography and just!!! Wow!!! AMAZING CHEMISTRY between the actors. This is such a gem if you’re comfortable with explicit sexual content.

Ok. This is already over 3k but film is obviously one of my ridiculous passions and I can and do talk about it for hours. I’ve been reading magazines about it for years, listening to podcasts and reading review blogs and recently, watching video essays on YouTube because the whole process is so interesting to me and I want to learn more!!

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of valuing form over narrative. The idea that story can often come second to the deeper physical experience and emotional reaction that’s created by using ALL the elements of filmmaking and not just The Story, y’know? Whether that’s editing, shot composition, colour, the sound mix, the actors, how it should all be used to heighten the emotional state the script wants you to feel. And so, I think for a few years now this approach has been influencing the types of films I really, really love.

I think I love surreality and mind-bending magical realism in films specifically because the filmmakers have to use all those different tools to convey things that can be way too metaphysical for just... a script? I’m always chasing that physical response; if a movie can make me stop thinking “I wonder what it was like to set up that shot” and instead overwhelm that suspension of disbelief, if I can be terrified or woozy or crying for whatever reason, that’s what I’m looking for. That’s why I watch so many fuckin movies, and why I’ll always remember nights like seeing IT (2017) for giving me another favourite.

Thank you again for this question, I didn’t mean to go so overboard. Also there’s no way to do a readmore on tumblr mobile so apologies to anyone’s dashboard 😬

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 03.07.17 lb

plain text version here. 

ohhhhh boy. omRu in troubleeeeeeee. 🙈🙈🙈

even then, look how calm he is. it’s sooooo weird to see shivaay like this.  😐😐😐

like ok, rudra lies well enough to be believable, but omki, you’re fucking terrible at this. you’re the worst liar everrrrrr. 🤦🏽🤦🏽🤦🏽

good thing shivaay’s distracted by his own never-ending misery to notice. 😒😒😒

LMAO THAT THEY WERE NOT EXPECTING. THEY THOUGHT THEY HAD AT LEAST MORE THAN ONE DAY. 😆😆😆

oh shit the death glare shivaay just gave om for doing mild chamchagiri of bhaabi. 😬😬😬

feeling sorry for shivaay/nakuul’s future offspring who will be the recipient(s) of that glare. yikes. 😧😧😧

QUEEN’S HERE! 😇😇😇

LMAO OMRU, AT LEAST PRETEND YOU’RE NOT INVOLVED! YOU TWO ARE SOOOO BAD AT THIS. 🙄🙄🙄

ok she’s trying to the maxxxxxxxxx to provoke him. 😗😗😗

oh wow. didn’t get mad at that either. dude, he’s really broken. just holding down the power button for 5 seconds won’t work you guys. we’ll have to factory reset him. 😟😟😟

makeup’s a little inappropriate for the daytime, no ragini? 😕😕😕

lmao the way she’s shoveling the cucumber into her mouth. i’m liking this new dorky side to her crazy. 😂😂😂

samarrrrr don’t give a fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk. 😆😆😆

samar is such a typical older brother. 🙄🙄🙄

who doesn’t seem very impressed by “THAT shivaay singh oberoi” 😶😶😶

aditya, vicky, neil… oh, so this is a regular thing for ragini. she’s the rudra of this house. 😕😕😕

samar and his eye-rolly exasperation with ragini’s crazy are kiiiinda growing on me. 🙃🙃🙃

ew, salad as comfort food. girl, what’s wrong with you? now i know you’re fully mental. 😕😕😕

good lord, we found a big brother even more indulgent than shivaay. this isn’t good news, you guys. at least shivaay calls his brothers out on their BS and tries to fix things. 😯😯😯

my worst fears have been confirmed: this asshole is going to try and “acquire” shivaay for his demented sister. and he’s going to try and poach anika for himself to keep her away from shivaay. 😥😥😥

anika’s grasping enormity of situation just now. 😐😐😐

god this nafrat/pyaar nonsense is sooooo fucking untrue and toxic. DON’T LISTEN TO IT, ANY YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE KIDS WATCHING THIS SHOW. JUST DON’T. 😣😣😣

puraaana omki with the unbearable shayari is back. *kisses him* 😘😘😘

seriously, i’m so side-eyeing the fact that these people can’t bear this version of shivaay, that’s actually soft spoken and polite and calm, and an overall decent dude. they want the terrorising hell-spawn back. 😒😒😒

shivaay ki baad mein dekh lenge, pehle tu yeh shirt toh badal le, behen. saha nahi jaa raha mujhse. 😣😣😣

all i want is someone to look at me with as much love and admiration as rudra looks at anika. #devarNo1 😍😍😍

ouff fuck off pinky. 😒😒😒

lord, shivaay looks like a fucking bumblebee on tropical vacation. 😟😟😟

@ shivani shirali: please focus fully on ipk now. yahaan ka hum jaise-taise dekh lenge. please, i beg of you, stop doing this to my show. 😭😭😭

he can’t bear hearing anika being called “manhoos”. 😞😞😞

i don’t get why everyone is so anti-new shivaay. he’s infinitely more tolerable like this. a little boring, but lord, so much more tolerable. y’all are fucked in the head. 😑😑😑

does dadi know the truth?  🤔🤔🤔

um, it’s not like you CAN’T care for him just coz his wife is now here. what’s wrong with this family? why is there such a “her OR me” sentiment when it comes to the wife? fucking ridiculous. 😟😟😟

oh great. prinku still exists. i had forgotten that unfortunate little fact for a few hours. fwding. 😑😑😑

the dubbing of this whole episode is getting on my fucking nerves. 😡😡😡

CHATAK MATAK RANGO WAALA CARPET AUR DHINCHAK PARDE. lord help us all. it’s gonna look like an acid trip in here, isn’t it??? 🙈🙈🙈

anika, girl, you’re playing such an amateur game. honestly, what are you 12? he don’t give a fuck about the room, come on. 😒😒😒

oh snap! “kadvi yaadein”. 😬😬😬

bitch, those yaadein are all we shippers out here got till like, episode 400. let us beeeee. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

OMG YOU GUYS. HE STOPPED DRINKING COFFEE. MY HEADCANON, FROM THIS POST. IT’S CANON. IT’S FUCKING CANON. FUCKKKKKKKKKKK. 😟😟😟

baaki kuch rahe na rahe, passive aggressiveness is still 100% though. 😗😗😗

never once closed/locked the door during foreplay, now closing/locking the door to hiss snide barbs at each other. these two fucking idiots, i swear to god. 🙄🙄🙄

“aap toh lagta hai, apne aap ko bhi bhool gaye hai.” 

ooooooooooh. brief flash of the old shivaay at that. 😗😗😗

i rather like sadhu singh oberoi. ouff. stop crapping on him like this. 😐😐😐

damn anika plays bitchy reaaaaallllly well though. girl, where you been hiding this? 😆😆😆😆😆😆

and why didn’t you show this side to his fucking mom when it was fucking required, you silly little twit? 😒😒😒

lol the hair. he didn’t even let you touch it when things were good, girl. why you even trying it now? 😐😐😐

i find it hilarious though, that the shivaay who doesn’t give a shit about anything, actually went to the salon and got highlights done. 😂😂😂

oh god naach gaana. fucking whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😩😩😩😩😩

i love this song, and surbhi looks fucking adorable, but nope. fwding. i can’t. i just can’t. 😣😣😣

did she really think that would work though? like truly and honestly? 🙄🙄🙄

oh my heart, nooooooooooooooo. shivaaaaaay, babyyyyyyyyyy. oh fuckkkkkkk, i’m crying now. 😭😭😭😭😭

is he just sleeping here for today coz she’s taken the room, or has he been sleeping out here for longer, coz he can’t bear to be in the room alone? 😥😥😥

aaaaaaaaaand i’m crying even harder. 😭😭😭😭😭

shit, just look at him. he looks exhausted and like he’s aged 5 years in these 3 months. 😫😫😫

girl honestly, did you really think he’d be unaffected by your leaving? the man was fucking batshit, head-over-heels, take-a-bullet-for-you crazy in love with you. you were soooooooooo goddamn fucking stupid, i swear to god. i’m super mad at you rn. 😡😡😡

like, i always was, but seeing the extent of how broken he is has made me extra mad at you. 😤😤😤

ok, i can’t stop crying. fml. 😭😭😭😭😭

lmaoooooo her chulha and GIGANTIC kadhaaiiiii though. 😂😂😂

OUFF CAN THEY STOP WITH THESE AMATEUR PLOTS. HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THESE MATERIAL THINGS. YOU GOTTA PROVOKE HIM PSYCHOLOGICALLY, YOU IDIOTS. 🙄🙄🙄

[meanwhileinoz]

15+ Times Kids Movies Hid Absolute Filth In Plain Sight & Ruined Childhoods

Do you remember your favourite childhood movie?

Those innocent, usually animated, bright, vibrant movies? Like Space Jam or Toy Story! Well, you see, children aren’t the only ones who enjoy them, adults do too. As such, there is some very clever humour that slips over the heads of kids, but their parents definitely catch them. In fact, if you were to watch some of your old childhood movies now, you’d notice.

Like how Shrek’s thick accent made Lord Farquad’s name sound like Lord F*ckwad. I’m never trusting a “children’s movie” ever again.

And the results is absolutely freaking hilarious. Some of these movies are downright filthy, and we never even noticed. There’s no coming back from it.

#1 Space Jam

In Space Jam Bugs Bunny acts like a wooden board after Lola flirts with him. Did not understand that until much later

By 2354DarkKnight

#2 Robots

In Robots, the father is running down the street yelling “I’m gonna be a dad!!!” because his son is about to be born. When he gets home, a delivery truck is just leaving, and his wife says “oh, honey, I’m sorry, you missed the delivery…. but that’s ok, making the baby is the fun part” and holds up the box they are given with the parts to build their child with.

By Dadoaesop

#3 Goonies

In Goonies, when they’re trying to glue the statue’s dick back on, Mikey says “Guys, that’s my mom’s favorite piece. Mouth says “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t”

The first time it clicked for me, I nearly pissed myself.

By Gonzostewie

#4 El Dorado

The intro to road to Eldorado, when the two Armadillo jump behind a bush and the Bush shakes violently for 5 seconds, then an entire family of Armadillo jump out.

By Bobdog1994

#5 Aladdin and the King Of Thieves.

In Aladdin and the King of Thieves, when the thieves raid the wedding. The ground is shaking because of a stampede and the genie says, “I thought the ground wasn’t supposed to shake until the honeymoon.”

By ace2049ns

#6 Ratatouille

From Ratatouille, Linguini is trying to confess the real reason everyone thinks he can cook:

Linguini: [hesitantly] I have a secret. It’s sort of disturbing. I have a ra… I have a raaaaa…

Colette: You have a… rash?

Linguini: No no no. I have this-this tiny, uh, little… little…

[Collette quickly glances down at Linguini’s pants.]

By Meretrice

#7 Madagascar

I only recently realized that Sugar Honey Iced Tea in Madagascar stands for Shit.

By Maximus125

#8 Rocko’s Modern Life

Rocko’s Modern Life. The had a restaurant called the Chokey Chicken, a game called Spank the Monkey, and at one point Rocko worked as a sex line operator. Mrs. Bighead calls in and he is saying “Oh baby, oh baby”, with a sign behind him that says “Remember – Be Hot, Be Naughty, Be Courteous”.

They weren’t even trying to hide it, and it still took me 15 years later to realize.

By goatywizard

#9 Wallace and Gromit

In Wallace and grommit Wallace is stripped of his clothes and his manhood is only covered by a box. The box has “may contain nuts” printed on the side.

By Rawshark96

#10 How the Grinch Stole Christmas

In the grinch there’s a scene where they explain that “who babies” are delivered to their parents from the sky in baskets with umbrellas. One of the baskets lands in front of a house and the dad finds it and yells something like “honey, our baby’s here!” And then he takes a puzzled look at the baby and says “looks just like your boss”

By huesofelktongue

#11 Hocus Pocus

In Hocus Pocus, when the witches are getting onto the bus and Winifred tells the bus driver that they desire children and the bus driver replies, “Hey, that may take me a couple of tries, but I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

I watched it recently and was like… yeahhhh that joke flew the fuck over my head during my entire childhood.

By wisniear

#12 Space Jam Part II

Space Jam, when the therapist ask Ewing if there’s anywhere else he has trouble “performing”, and getting an emphatic “NO!” from Patrick.

Took me a couple years before it dawned on me.

By ProjectShadow316

#13 Toy Story

I’m going to have to go with Toy Story Laser Envy I may have peed myself a bit the first time I caught it as an adult.

By johnly81

#14 Toy Story II

Also during the “staff meeting” there’s a part where Slinky is defending Woody, so Mr. Potato Head takes off his mouth and repeatedly hits it against his butt as a way of saying “kiss-ass”. Not super dirty but I didn’t notice it until I was way older.

  By regalternative

#15 Rango

The entirety of Rango. Like the scene where he has to explain how Rattlesnake Jake is his half-brother, he says his mom had an interesting dating life.

By FreeDobby2k18

#16 Shrek

Shrek: So that’s Farquad’s castle?

Donkey: Yep, that’s the place.

Shrek: Do you think he might be compensating for something?

Later in the movie

Fiona: You know what? Stop it. Stop it both of you. You know you’re just jealous that you’ll never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquad.

Shrek: Well, Princess, maybe you’re right. But I’ll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.

Or honestly anything from this movie.

By BucherundKaffee

#17 Ghostbusters

The scene in the original Ghostbusters when a ghost unzips Dan Akroyd’s pants in the bedroom and a little…something, something…is implied. Never got it. Watched the movie as an adult before the remake was released and freaked out that I had watched that as a kid!

By spookypanys

#18 Shrek, again.

Guess its more of a general “adult” joke, but the name farquad in shrek was written meaning fuckwad in reference to Michael Eisner or something. It made the movie so much funnier

By Ronaldraegansdick

http://ift.tt/2wwJL5Y

[meanwhileinoz]

15+ Times Kids’ Movies Hid Absolute Filth In Plain Sight & Ruined Childhoods

Do you remember your favourite childhood movie?

Those innocent, usually animated, bright, vibrant movies? Like Space Jam or Toy Story! Well, you see, children aren’t the only ones who enjoy them, adults do too. As such, there is some very clever humour that slips over the heads of kids, but their parents definitely catch them. In fact, if you were to watch some of your old childhood movies now, you’d notice.

Like how Shrek’s thick accent made Lord Farquad’s name sound like Lord F*ckwad. I’m never trusting a “children’s movie” ever again.

And the results is absolutely freaking hilarious. Some of these movies are downright filthy, and we never even noticed. There’s no coming back from it.

#1 Space Jam

In Space Jam Bugs Bunny acts like a wooden board after Lola flirts with him. Did not understand that until much later

By 2354DarkKnight

#2 Robots

In Robots, the father is running down the street yelling “I’m gonna be a dad!!!” because his son is about to be born. When he gets home, a delivery truck is just leaving, and his wife says “oh, honey, I’m sorry, you missed the delivery…. but that’s ok, making the baby is the fun part” and holds up the box they are given with the parts to build their child with.

By Dadoaesop

#3 Goonies

In Goonies, when they’re trying to glue the statue’s dick back on, Mikey says “Guys, that’s my mom’s favorite piece. Mouth says “You wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t”

The first time it clicked for me, I nearly pissed myself.

By Gonzostewie

#4 El Dorado

The intro to road to Eldorado, when the two Armadillo jump behind a bush and the Bush shakes violently for 5 seconds, then an entire family of Armadillo jump out.

By Bobdog1994

#5 Aladdin and the King Of Thieves.

In Aladdin and the King of Thieves, when the thieves raid the wedding. The ground is shaking because of a stampede and the genie says, “I thought the ground wasn’t supposed to shake until the honeymoon.”

By ace2049ns

#6 Ratatouille

From Ratatouille, Linguini is trying to confess the real reason everyone thinks he can cook:

Linguini: [hesitantly] I have a secret. It’s sort of disturbing. I have a ra… I have a raaaaa…

Colette: You have a… rash?

Linguini: No no no. I have this-this tiny, uh, little… little…

[Collette quickly glances down at Linguini’s pants.]

By Meretrice

#7 Madagascar

I only recently realized that Sugar Honey Iced Tea in Madagascar stands for Shit.

By Maximus125

#8 Rocko’s Modern Life

Rocko’s Modern Life. The had a restaurant called the Chokey Chicken, a game called Spank the Monkey, and at one point Rocko worked as a sex line operator. Mrs. Bighead calls in and he is saying “Oh baby, oh baby”, with a sign behind him that says “Remember – Be Hot, Be Naughty, Be Courteous”.

They weren’t even trying to hide it, and it still took me 15 years later to realize.

By goatywizard

#9 Wallace and Gromit

In Wallace and grommit Wallace is stripped of his clothes and his manhood is only covered by a box. The box has “may contain nuts” printed on the side.

By Rawshark96

#10 How the Grinch Stole Christmas

In the grinch there’s a scene where they explain that “who babies” are delivered to their parents from the sky in baskets with umbrellas. One of the baskets lands in front of a house and the dad finds it and yells something like “honey, our baby’s here!” And then he takes a puzzled look at the baby and says “looks just like your boss”

By huesofelktongue

#11 Hocus Pocus

In Hocus Pocus, when the witches are getting onto the bus and Winifred tells the bus driver that they desire children and the bus driver replies, “Hey, that may take me a couple of tries, but I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

I watched it recently and was like… yeahhhh that joke flew the fuck over my head during my entire childhood.

By wisniear

#12 Space Jam Part II

Space Jam, when the therapist ask Ewing if there’s anywhere else he has trouble “performing”, and getting an emphatic “NO!” from Patrick.

Took me a couple years before it dawned on me.

By ProjectShadow316

#13 Toy Story

I’m going to have to go with Toy Story Laser Envy I may have peed myself a bit the first time I caught it as an adult.

By johnly81

#14 Toy Story II

Also during the “staff meeting” there’s a part where Slinky is defending Woody, so Mr. Potato Head takes off his mouth and repeatedly hits it against his butt as a way of saying “kiss-ass”. Not super dirty but I didn’t notice it until I was way older.

By regalternative

#15 Rango

The entirety of Rango. Like the scene where he has to explain how Rattlesnake Jake is his half-brother, he says his mom had an interesting dating life.

By FreeDobby2k18

#16 Shrek

Shrek: So that’s Farquad’s castle?

Donkey: Yep, that’s the place.

Shrek: Do you think he might be compensating for something?

Later in the movie

Fiona: You know what? Stop it. Stop it both of you. You know you’re just jealous that you’ll never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquad.

Shrek: Well, Princess, maybe you’re right. But I’ll let you do the measuring when you see him tomorrow.

Or honestly anything from this movie.

By BucherundKaffee

#17 Ghostbusters

The scene in the original Ghostbusters when a ghost unzips Dan Akroyd’s pants in the bedroom and a little…something, something…is implied. Never got it. Watched the movie as an adult before the remake was released and freaked out that I had watched that as a kid!

By spookypanys

#18 Shrek, again.

Guess its more of a general “adult” joke, but the name farquad in shrek was written meaning fuckwad in reference to Michael Eisner or something. It made the movie so much funnier

By Ronaldraegansdick

http://ift.tt/2xhq0Nm