#if i wake up within like 45 minutes ill get drunk if not then fuck it ill just do it tomorrow consequences be damned

[skenpiel]

do you guys think id be able to take a quick 30min evil nap........ do u think its possible for me to do..........

[niskrp]

:// SEARCHING OPERATIVE …

… searching for AGENT 019 / THE HIGH PRIESTESS. classified files indicate that they go by NAM DAEIL. born in SEOUL, SK, in 1990/05/03, further investigation makes it clear that they joined the agency FOUR YEARS ago. they are an INTELLIGENCE AGENT who specialize in ANALYTIC METHODOLOGY. higher clearance is needed to access further information…

… ENTER PASSWORD TO ACCESS THE COMPLETE FILE.

:// ACCESSING BACKGROUND FILES …

03rd June, 1990 / He’s born the first and only son of Nam Hayoon and Yoo Jaebeom, current CEO and chairman of Yoosang Group, a multi-profile business conglomerate with holdings in arms, defense, chemicals, energy, finance, and investment. He’s also born the only grandson of Admiral Nam Seokwoo, 20th Chief of Naval Operations of the Republic of Korea and first ever platoon leader of then freshly established Republic of Korea Navy Special Warfare Flotilla’s SEAL team 1.

28th September, 1992 - 19th July, 2006 / He’s raised in coastal Jeju-do by his maternal grandparents, childhood uneventful in the best of ways; still remembers the taste of his grandmother’s home-cooked meals, the days he’d spend fishing out at sea with his grandfather, the family outings and morning runs and weekends spent rock-climbing. He grows up loved, so he’s unbothered by the lack of parental presence in his life. His father calls once a week; his mother even less. He timed one once, just for kicks. It lasted a whopping 98 seconds, and yet his parents never forgot to tell him they loved him before hanging up. Unsurprisingly, daeil never replied. He just hung up.

20th July 2006 / It’s already been 3 years since his grandmother’s passing. He wakes up past 9:00 AM for the first time in 16 years to find his grandfather still in bed, smiling. At peace in death, just as in life. The funeral that’s held is a small one, and he sees his parents for the first time in 3 years. He pays them no heed, quiet throughout the ceremony. Stays long after everyone else has left, crying over the grave of the only father he’s ever really known. Luckily, his parents give him the space he needs. Haven’t they always.

21st July 2006 - 15th August 2008 / he moves in with his parents the day after the funeral and spends most of the day actively avoiding the confines of his newfound home. No one but the help is ever there to begin with, and it doesn’t help that whenever his old man does manage to scrape together an hour or two to spend with his son, it’s accompanied with the suffocating weight of awkward parental guilt – a constant cycle of trying too hard and overstepping boundaries with a son he does not know.

So he spends his days preoccupied with school, with extra-curriculars, with psychedelics in the back of a senior’s car.

Private school’s always had its perks, after all. Money, has, too.

16th August 2008 / He graduates from high school, and so does his budding addiction. A 5.0 GPA and an impressive list of extra-curricular achievements see him admitted to Harvard’s class of 2008, and as per Harvard culture, he grows to spend his Sundays getting blackout drunk and his Mondays studying Math 55A: honors abstract algebra.

It’s in January of his freshman year that he’s first introduced to cocaine, and it’s easy enough to think you’re invincible when you’re 19 years old. Crack addiction isn’t a possibility for you. You’re too good for that. Don’t be a fucking pussy, a line never hurt anyone. A line never killed anyone.

Except it has. Except It has.

A 200 word paragraph isn’t enough to portray what addiction is like. He tried to stop, really, he did. But that’s never really enough, is it?

11th december 2010 - 13th August 2011 / Rehab. Then, rehab again. Followed by rehab for a third and final time. He still has a scar on the side of his throat from his second failed attempt. It’s already been months since he’s stopped picking up his father’s calls; weeks since his father’s stopped calling altogether.

15th September 2011 - 26th August 2013 / The last two years of his undergraduate education go by in a blur. It’s busy, hectic. Sobering. He graduates top of his class.

27th August 2013 / It takes him 17 hours to get from Boston to Seoul. He signs up for the PT program at the National Intelligence Service the following day.

He doesn’t really know why he did it. Came back here, of all places.

Perhaps it’s just in his blood.

23rd January 2014 /

NH: Is this about your grandfather, Daeil? ND: Maybe. NH: Maybe? ND: He never told me, you know. I was, what, 14? 15? when i found out? I think it was a year before he died. I never brought it up. He was happy with the idea that I didn’t know and I had no intention of changing that. NH: … ND: Even if I put personal feelings aside for a minute. It doesn’t add up. More than 45 years of service and yet a week after Blackwater is when he’s– [STATIC] NH: Why come back to this now. What difference do you think it’ll make. ND: Dunno. I guess you could say rehab helped me put things back into perspective. / END TAPE.

:// ACCESSING PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION …

REPORT OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ASSESSMENT prepared by: Dr. Kwon Hojoon National Intelligence Service, Seoul, Republic of South Korea. 23rd September, 2014.

confidential material, for professional use only. NAME: Nam Daeil D.O.B: 03rd June, 1990. TRAINEE NUMBER: 14056 CHRONOLOGICAL AGE: 24 years and 3 months. NATIONALITY: South Korean. ETHNICITY: Korean. MOTHER: Nam Hayoon. FATHER: Yoo Jaebeom. EDUCATIONAL LEVEL: Bachelor of Science in Neuroscience, specializing in behavior, perception, and consciousness. REASON FOR REFERRAL: Daeil is a 24 years and 3 months old adult of South Korean descent who was referred for psychological evaluation according to the pt program trainee evaluation process. SOURCES OF INFORMATION: Background information was obtained from government records, as well as from interviews and medical records. Current status of his behavioral patterns and mental state was obtained from observation during testing and from standardized psychological and neuropsychological tests. This information appears to be from reliable sources and valid. BACKGROUND INFORMATION: Family history: Daeil is the only son of Nam Hayoon and Yoo Jaebeom, but was raised in Jeju-do by maternal grandparents since the age of two. Although Daeil’s parents are not divorced, they rarely saw each other or Daeil due to work-related reasons. Daeil’s father is the current CEO and Chairman of Yoosang Group, while his mother is the current Deputy Director of NIS’ Clandestine Division, and has been serving since 1985. It’s worth mentioning that his maternal grandfather, late Admiral Nam Seokwoo, served in the ROK navy and was it’s 20th Chief of Naval Operations. His grandfather was also the first ever platoon leader of the ROK Special Warfare Flotilla’s SEAL team 1 when it was first established in 1955. Admiral Seokwoo was given an OTH discharge from the military during his term as Chief of Naval Operations on charges of corruption in 1997. MEDICAL AND DEVELOPMENTAL HISTORY: Pregnancy and birth history: Daeil’s mother was 25 and his father 29 at the time of his birth. There were no complications of pregnancy or delivery reported and he was born by Caesarean section. His birth weight was normal but he experienced some jaundice following birth. Developmental history: Medical reports show that Daeil had difficulties sleeping as an infant and was brought to the hospital for a check-up after being unable to sleep for more than 2 to 3 hours at a time for the first 3 months of his life. His appetite was also reported as poor. Medical history: He had the usual childhood illnesses of chickenpox, ear infections and strep throat. BEHAVIOURAL OBSERVATIONS: Daeil is an attractive young man, who readily established an easy rapport and was open and easy to communicate with. He was evaluated over a period of three days. He showed no reluctance to perform assigned tasks and failed to show signs of resistance, hyperactivity or distractibility. Most notable was his high speed of information processing and how well he functions and adapts in high-stress situations. In conversation, he maintains eye contact, which, combined with his posture, indicates a high level of confidence and an unlikelihood towards suffering from social anxiety. TESTS ADMINISTERED: AAMD Adaptive Behavior Scale Adult Neuropsychological Questionnaire Beck Anxiety Inventory Beck Depression Inventory - 2nd Ed Beck Hopelessness Scale Bennett Mechanical Comprehension Test Benton Visual Retention Test - 5th Ed Developmental Test of Visual-Motor Integration Frostig Developmental Test of Visual Percepeption Holtzman Inkblot Technique House-Tree-Person Interrogation Form Personality Assessment Inventory Stanford-Binet Intelligence Scale - 5th Ed Stanford Diagnostic Mathematics Test Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale - 3rd Ed Woodcock-Johnson III Tests of Cognitive Abilities TEST RESULTS: Cognitive:

Verbal abilities: Verbal comprehension refers to his ability to listen to a question, draw upon learned information, reason through an answer, and express thoughts verbally. Daeil’s verbal comprehension fell in the high average range and ranked in the 93rd percentile. According to his performance, Daeil is able to express both abstract and concrete ideas clearly and concisely, in simple terms, despite having an extensive vocabulary.

Non-verbal abilities: Perceptual reasoning measures Daeil’s ability to reason using visual cues from the environment; to examine, think about, and solve novel tasks without using words. Daeil’s perceptual reasoning fell in the high range and ranked in the 94th percentile.

Working memory: Daeil’s working memory involves the ability to attend to verbally presented information, hold information in his immediate awareness, and then be able to use that information within a small period of time. Daeil’s working memory fell in the high average range, and ranked in the 85th percentile. His highest scoring task required him to mentally compute math problems within a time limit. His second highest score involved tasks asking him to repeat a 15-digit number verbatim, as state or in reverse order. As expected, the longer the time duration allotted for memorization, the likelier it is that Daeil maintains the subject matter in his long-term memory.

Processing Speed: Processing speed involves the ability to scan, discriminate and process visual information to complete a task. Daeil’s processing speed falls in the high range as well, ranked in the 99th percentile, and is considered a personal strength. His performance suggests that Daeil does not have trouble with concentration, attention or short-term memory nor does he struggle with visual-motor coordination or discrimination.

Social Emotional:

Externalizing problems; hyperactivity, aggression, conduct problems: Daeil’s tendency towards experiencing overall externalizing problems fell in the low range, ranking in the 13th percentile. Daeil scored lowest on measures for hyperactivity. Measures for aggression were consistent and did not indicate a predisposition towards violent behavior. The issue of conduct problems also does not appear to be a noteworthy cause of concern, although some test results indicate that he has a predisposition towards unpredictability.

Internalizing problems; anxiety, depression, somatization, rejection: Daeil’s tendency towards experiencing overall internalizing problems fell in the low range as well, ranking in the 12th percentile. No particular inclination towards anxiety, depression, somatization were noted. Daeil’s results did not indicate a particular fear of rejection either.

Overall problems/maladaptive behavior or emotional disabilities: Daeil appears to have a low level of problem behavior according to the assessments performed. Overall problem behavior combines Daeil’s performance on measures of hyperactivity, aggression, depression, atypicality, and withdrawal. This assessment is supported by another in which Daeil demonstrates low internalizing and externalizing maladaptive behaviors as compared to fellow trainees. Asessments did not indicate maladaptive behavioral tendencies, disturbances in functioning, or pathology. These scores imply that his behavior will not affect his functioning at NIS or negatively impact mission performance. In addition, Daeil does not indicate an emotional disability based on the conducted assessment. With regards to indications of emotional disability, Daeil ranked in the 15th percent when compared to other adults his age. Further evaluation for emotional disabilities was not indicated. This suggests that Daeil’s emotional condition is normal and is not a concern in regards to performance. Adaptive Skills: Daeil’s adaptive skills fall in the high range, ranking in the 90th percentile. These skills include adaptability (ability to readily adapt to environmental changes), social skills, leadership, activities of daily living, and functional communication. Daeil exhibits high coping skills, but indicates a lack of sensitivity, even though empathy levels are considered normal. SUMMARY AND RECOMMENDATIONS: Daeil demonstrates exceptional cognitive abilities and adaptability, as well as a talent for operating under large amounts of stress. His test results indicate a high level of mental and emotional stability, and is considered low-risk; however, his performance does indicate a possibility of developing obsessive tendencies, but test results show inconsistent and conflicting results. A second opinion from a psychologist specializing in personality disorders is recommended. CONCLUSION: Nam Daeil, trainee number 14056, is deemed fit for active duty.

… END OF FILE. CONTACT THE AGENT DIRECTLY FOR MORE.

[searchingfortheuniverse]

Tagged by @a-randomfangirl-a! Thank you lovely

RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE

BASICS:

a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: Ella, she/her

b. AGE (and birthday!): 17, September 6th

c. SEXUALITY: Demi

d. GENDER: Female

e. COUNTRY: UK

f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: Ocean

TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: I have anxiety and depression, and I’m usually ok with triggers, but I don’t do well with exams or people being genuinely flippant about suicide

THE LAST:

1. DRINK: Tea

2. PHONE CALL: My home phone

3. TEXT MESSAGE: “good good”

4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: Spaces by One Direction

5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: Last week

HAVE YOU:

6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: No

7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT:  I mean, I’ve been kissed and regretted it, but I’ve never instigated it

8. BEEN CHEATED ON: Ohhhhhh yeah

9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: Yes

10. BEEN DEPRESSED: Yes

11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: No

TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS

12. Blue

13. Purple

14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: Yeah

16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: I mean, I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was love, but I fell out of like

17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: Yes

18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: Yeah I think I have

19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: yeah

20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: I think so

21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: I mean, yeah, he was, but suffice it to say he isn’t anymore

GENERAL

22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: I’ve at least met all of them

23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: I have one (1) surviving fish... poor Ianto

24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: Nah

25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: Not a lot. Went out for dinner with my family

26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: Uhhhh like 10:30

27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: Reading a TV Tropes page for The Great Escape because I’d watched a documentary on the actual thing

28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: Uniiiiiiiiiiiiii

29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: Like ten minutes ago

30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: My teacher in year 11 fucking shit up

31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: Nothing, for once

32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: Yep

33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: My eyes are really sore at the moment so I can’t put my lenses in

LOST QUESTIONS

34. MOLE(S): No

35. MARK(S): I mean, I have scars, but not really

36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: Author

37. HAIR COLOR: Brown

38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: Mid length and growing fast

39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: Hahaha no

40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: I’m getting better

41. PIERCINGS: Nope

42. BLOODTYPE: No clue

43. NICKNAME(S): Ella, El, Els, Elli

44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single af

45. ZODIAC: Virgo

46. PRONOUNS: she/her

47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: Not sure

48. TATTOOS: None

49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: Right

50. SURGERY: Nah

51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: I currently have blue ends

52. SPORT: I go running sometimes, but not really

53. VACATION: I’m actually going away on Friday woop woop

54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: I don’t think I have any, I had to throw them all out bc they were too small

MORE GENERAL

55. EATING: Nothing at the moment

56. DRINKING: Nothing but I finished a cup of tea just before starting this

57. I’M ABOUT TO: Go to bed probably tbh

58. WAITING FOR: Holiday on Fri

59. WANT: To not have a headache rn

60. GET MARRIED: I mean, I’d like to but we’ll see

61. CAREER: I want to do screenwriting, but at the moment I’m planning on uni next year

62. HUGS OR KISSES: Proper cuddles pls

63. LIPS OR EYES: eyes

64. SHORTER OR TALLER: Either

65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: Is this platonic or romantic? Either way, whichever (within reason)

66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: why not both

67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: I’m kinda both

68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship

69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: Hesitant

HAVE YOUR EVER:

70. KISSED A STRANGER: No

71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: No

72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: Yessssss frequently

73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: Yeah

74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: No

75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: I mean I don’t know if it was that extreme??? But yeah

76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: No

77. BEEN ARRESTED: No

78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: Yes

79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: No but kinda like a friend crush I guess

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. YOURSELF: Eh

81. MIRACLES: Not really

82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: Nope

83. SANTA CLAUS: I used to

84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: I mean, I/m not sure for me personally, but up to you I guess

85. ANGELS: Not really

OTHER

86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): Don’t really have any... Probs Kath and Issy, and Nikki

87. EYECOLOR: Brown

88. FAVORITE MOVIE: Not sure...

Tags... : @youbuggingme, @fantasysorceress, @amithebloggingdragon, @misa04, and anyone else too

[amaintainedrisk]

THIS IS MY PAPA. I LOVE HIM SO. he gave me a ride to the pharmacy (details below) and when I went in, he was listening to the oldies station. When I came out, he was playing "poker face" by Lady Gaga loudly on the radio lmfao. I had to get it on camera. His voice is hoarse because he had to be put on a ventilator back in March, which is why I am providing a transcript to make sure you hear what he says. Here you go: me: Papa, why are you listening to Lady Gaga? Papa: because she's my favorite.l... (Pause) ...anyone with the name gaga has to be good. me: I Come out of the pharmacy, and you're listening to Lady Gaga. he took me to the pharmacy this morning because my mother and grandmother decided my deadbeat aunt should have my car so she could go to the grocery store even though I needed my medicine badly, so I called my grandfather and he came over and got me and took me. My mother came with us and I think she came because she wanted to make sure I didn't tell him anything bad about her and Grammy and how they don't think me getting my medicine is important, but whatever. I never miss a chance to be with my beloved grandfather who is the only one in the family who does not abuse me in any way. he was the one I was upset about in March when he fell ill quickly and had to be put on a ventilator and no one thought he would make it. But he did. he never fully recovered, especially especially ESPECIALLY with his voice, But he's the same old grandpa for me. My mother had another bad seizure last night and I spent all night taking care of her only for both my mother and grandmother to tell me my aunt who is 42 years old and able-bodied needed the car for one of her six children, so I couldn't get my medicine in the morning when I needed it. They were going to make me go without just because my deadbeat mother of an odd can't take care of her own fucking kids and get her own fucking car. then on top of that, I wasn't allowed to be mad about it. They told me they weren't letting me go to the pharmacy and then they told me "don't you dare get mad, we are sick of your selfishness." so I called my grandfather and my mother decided to actually go with me instead because I know she wanted to make sure I didn't say anything bad to him about her and Grammy. The aunt I'm talking about is my grandfathers biological daughter and even he is sick of that shit. When my aunt was committing welfare fraud back around 2007, he turned her ass in the cops. He's the only one on my side anymore but he has so many medical problems now he can't possibly help me and I don't want to wake him down. after he took me to the pharmacy he had to go see three different doctors today so there's no chance in hell I'm weighing him down with any of this. He's already aware of the situation but there's just nothing I can do. And I do not blame him for that. by the way, my mother had another massive seizure last night, like I said, and when I called my grandmother she hung up on me so I had to take care of my mother myself. Then when I woke up (because I took a 45 minute nap) my mother swears up and down she did not have a seizure., And my grandmother has already lied to her about the phone conversation. Little does it ignorant lying bitch know, I recorded the damn thing. and I will be posting it on this blog within the next few days. Also, starting last week, I finally started opening up to my social worker about the abuse I've been going through. I have always protected my family, not because I wanted to protect them, but because I wanted to protect myself. But I am on hospice because I have a terminal illness and I cannot keep up with this physically or mentally anymore. I showed my social worker recorded phone calls of my aunt and my grandmother abusing me, hanging up on me and calling me names… Even though I just called them to ask for help because Mom was having a seizure and I couldn't physically keep up. I told my social worker about my grandmother and aunt letting themselves into my house without me knowing and stealing my pain medicine and money for food the last time my mother was in the hospital. then last Friday I opened up about my mother a little bit and hinted that my mother was complicit in all of this. I was trying to leave my mother out of it until the very last possible moment for many many reasons, but something happened on Friday but I just could not take anymore and I want my social worker know that I needed to talk to her in private over the phone this week. I told her it was because there are things I need to talk to her about that I cannot say in front of my mother. I also told my social worker I want to start moving out into my own place. I told her it was because I can't take the abuse and stress anymore, from everybody and I would elaborate more when she calls later this week or early next week. When I told her I wanted to move out and get away from everybody a lot sooner than I had planned, she told me my only option right now was to move into a group home with about five other people. I told her about the income places for SSI people where it's a single apartment where you can live alone and they only take like 30% of your income. She said she knows about those places too, but if I'm looking to get out immediately those aren't in option because they have huge waiting lists. I said we discuss it more when she called because there's a lot I have to say to her that I've been holding back and she said OK. Bottom line, if I want to get out of here now I have to go into a makeshift homeless shelter type thing for people like me and that kind of scares me because I don't know what I'm walking into and I can't see to defend myself. Plus I don't choose who I have to live with and she made me aware that some people are there because of mental disorders like schizophrenia, or manic bipolar, and some people are there because they go off their meds and blah blah blah. I don't hold mental illness against anyone but the thought of not being able to see to defend myself against someone who might get violent against me if they go off their meds really frightens me. Like,… I'm afraid I'll be asleep and I wake up with one of them standing over me with a knife or something. I don't know. I don't want to hold mental illness against anyone, it's just a real concern for me since I can't see to get away or skate and I've already been through a situation like that where a drunk person has trapped me in my own house and I couldn't get away and I was utterly terrified. I still have nightmares of that. Nightmares by the way, that my mother says I shouldn't have because it was so long ago. And by long ago, it was fucking 2013. But my family says I should be over it by now. However, my aunt was robbed back in the year 2000 and it's OK for her to still be afraid of that and when I make the comparison they said there's no comparison, her situation was worse and just blah. So that's my situation right now. I'll know more when I talk to my social worker later this week because I'm finally going to tell her everything that's going on. I'm tired of protecting a family that does not give a single fuck about me and then turns around and gets mad at me when I have the nerve to be upset about being lied to and being the family punching bag. it's affecting me in so many ways, even if they have nothing to do with what's going on. For example, I've been meaning to record a story for Monsie for almost 2 weeks now. but I've been so upset about everything, every time I start trying to record it I just end up bursting into tears and I can't finish the store yet because I'm so upset with everything going on around me but I just can't get away from it. And it's upsetting me because I want to do what I promised Monsie I would do for her and I can't fucking stop crying long enough to do it and it makes me feel like a bad friend because I want to cheer her up and I just can't keep myself together long enough to help anyone. And it makes me so angry at myself because I do not want to be anywhere near as fucking selfish as the people in my family because then I'm no better than they are and I refuse to be anything like those fucking horrible people. So one way or another, I'm going to get that fucking story recorded. I can't protect them anymore. They don't deserve it. I wasn't even trying to protect them, just my mother because of what she's going through, even though she has never done the same for me. She's always use my illnesses against me and to her advantage so I don't know why I keep trying to protect her when she so willing to always let me suffer. And not just suffer, but she tells me I have to sit there and take it and if I complain there something wrong with me and I should be ashamed of myself. I can't do this anymore. Even if I end up in a makeshift homeless shelter, I have to get out of here because it's gotten to the point where I'd rather wake up with someone standing over my bed with a knife then deal with these fucking ignorant, selfish, horrible people that consistently and constantly do nothing but try to destroy me and my spirit. Something has to give because I can't do this anymore. I'd rather die than keep doing this.

[deewhyfootballclub]

Round 1. Wakehurst 2 v DY Prems 2. The comeback story..

Our first game of the 2017 season. 1st of April too, April fools day and apart from Stu Nairn’s bingo passion wagon he’s been driving around and Dan Cuz’s Toni & Gay bowl cut, there weren't too many jokes or pranks pulled off this year.

If I’d said at the start of the day (whilst I was crushing the ‘coke can’ to a few vids under the category.. ‘big tits and Japan’ on fuq.com), that 2 of our starting central midfielders would be covered in claret, one with a broken nose and the other with a black shiner, you probably wouldn't believe me. The Boatshed was heaving too, 45+ year old chicken heads and dick heads everywhere. It was nearing 1pm, 8.5 hours after our 2-2 battle with Wakehurst. Out of nowhere, POP.... Some drunk idiot sucker punched ‘Gerry the Ginger’ Stu and ‘Diamond Dallas’ Driller on the dance floor. I think it had something to do with Drillers murderous 90’s 1..2…step moves or Stu telling the guy to ‘jog on cunt’ at one point. I’m not sure..

So, that wasn't the only battle for them that day…(terrible segway….).

Wakehurst - we’re a young and organised team. Captain America in midfield is probably used to running the games for them, as well as the tuck shop for the Under 10’s. Barely out of School, strutted around like he owned the place (but decent lad after….still a prick). They also had a tricky English winger, terrible banter so him and Tony got on really well. Knew their plan and stuck to it first half. Nothing special when pressured. Respect on the pizza front afterwards too. 

Pre Game - Ryan sets the team mood day with his detailed team talk. He used the white board he found behind the sheds at the DYRSL and his 18 little round magnets (22 players) made up of a few reds and blues, the actual magnets without the coloured case on them and a I (heart) Sydney fridge magnet to make up the numbers.

The game plan was simple. To play football through the back and holding midfield (me) with Dallas and Gerry supporting the attack. 

“Stu, that’s a fine. You’re pubes are fucking massive” - Matt Cooper

Dan Johns back in the team after his post aids illness straight into left midfield with simple Jack at left back. Tony Vale and Gibbo as centre half(s). Hairy arse Luca right back with cleaning business Andre ahead off him. Instructions given to individuals, we we’re sent out to get warm. The pre match warm up starts with a bit of funky leg yoga with a skinnier Dan Johns followed by our two lines drills and possession 5 aside. We weren't at training on Thursday so there we’re a few heavy legs and attitudes as Stu Nairn tried his best to get the season engine revved up. Just like his 1.1 litre bingo mustang, we came out flat and slow, facing pressure from the whistle.

Wakehurst to their credit, came out the blocks faster than Gascoyne spotting a single black chick in the Ivanhoe. From the first whistle, we we’re on the back foot, totally underestimating the home advantage of working with a pitch the length of Coops’s chin and width of Dan Johns ankles. They attacked well first 30 minutes with several diagonal balls maximising their space and pace, catching us out on a few occasions. They snatched an early goal from a silly DY error. We just couldn't get into it. We looked like we we’re simply going through the motions of being there and not wanting to compete. Work rate was there but there was no demand for the ball, people hiding, no early mongrel for the ball which all resulting in a good team taking advantage of us. They scored another one shortly after making it 2-0 to the home team within 25 mins.

10 minutes before half time, we are now starting to wake and a few dicey challenges in midfield give us with an opportunity to get back in the game. A nice bit of possession play provided Coops the ball from 15 yards out to drive past his man to shoot across the keepers left for his first League goal of the season and 4th of the week.

“What’s wrong with my jeans?” - Stu Nairn

Half time talk was calm and constructive. We went to a diamond shape midfield and had Tony sitting a little deeper to cut off the longer ball over the top, where they we’re getting all their wins.

Second half was our half. It felt different. Wakeshurst has clearly started to back off and give us more space. We had more structure moving forward on a narrow pitch. We looked hungry, strong, technical in spells and the desire was there to get on the ball again. Total contrast to first half and Wakehurst knew it.

A wonderful little free kick from Dan Johns (easily a contender for goal of the season) already put us at 2-2. Wakehurst began to shit themselves. The same way I did 9.30 hours later when I saw my two mates get whacked by some prick.

The game then just became a game of chance and Dee Why pressure. It was scrappy but our heart was there. Big Benny Gascoyne came on for the last 30 minutes as did Heggy for last 20. Both did all they could but unfortunately, we ran out of time and the game finished a draw.

Mug of the game: 
Man of the Match: TBC

Next game: Mid week FFA Rnd4 Cup game Thursday 6th v Dulwich FC in Marrickville.

2 points please Driller…Paddy.