#if i think about this too hard i'm going to start crying
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im sorry for filling up your inbox so much but i just love the way you write frank sm ugh
perhaps something fluffy where reader has a bad habit of not being able to sleep without music. maybe she tries her best to sleep with silence the first couple night because putting in headphones feels rude but so does playing out out loud. then she finally confesses whats been keeping her up and frank is just like… i was in the marines wtf u think i wouldnt be able to sleep?
maybe she starts playing her playlist when he finally convinces her its okay and it actually helps his nightmares (im a firm believer he would cry over pheobe bridgers songs and thats like half my playlist oops)
wait you are so right!! i too have a soft angst playlist that also contains an aggressive amount of phoebe bridgers and big thief so i get where you're coming from 100%
when she was younger, she could sleep through just about anything. a raging thunder storm, one of her parents' marijuana-infested house parties, hell, maybe even an earthquake. but if she thought about it now, she reckoned it was because the world was a much lighter place when she was young. (or maybe it wasn't - maybe it never had been, and she only perceived it that way because wasn't everything a little softer through the lens of a ten year old?)
frank was a different duck entirely. where other partners in the past had insisted on some sort of stimulus to sleep - be it the television, or the incessant crackle of the radio, he seemed content to drift off in total darkness and silence. which had been fine the first couple nights she stayed over (frank had succeeded in tiring her out to the best of his abilities), but it soon grew too challenging. she was just too used to falling asleep to her music.
she had tried her headphones only once - and though they were only separated by the space of a couple inches, she didn't like how far away they made frank feel to her. she had considered playing her music out loud, but couldn't bear the thought of keeping him up with it, so she endeavoured to suffer.
until she couldn't anymore.
after spending a pathetic portion of the evening tossing and turning, she eventually pilgrimaged to the kitchen in search of some chamomile tea (courtesy of david "that shit'll knock your ass out every damn time" lieberman).
yawning, she cracked open the novel she was reading and prayed that it, combined with the warm tea, would help lull her into even a shallow slumber.
"everythin' alright, kid?"
his usually raspy voice, made all the more gruffer under the weight of sleep startled her, before she glanced up from her page.
"yeah, sorry, frank. did I wake you?"
he scratched at the back of his head and shook it.
"nah, I got up to pee and wondered where you were."
leant against the paint-chipped doorframe, he cleared his throat.
"can't sleep?"
she wedged her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head.
"seem to be having a rough go of it, recently, to tell the truth."
frank frowned, before asking her what was on her mind.
she released a deep breath and glanced up at him.
"I have a habit of sleeping with a specific playlist on in the background, and for a multitude of reasons, I haven't been listening to it when I've stayed the night here, and it's messing with my rhythm a bit," she shrugged. "i'll get over it, I'm sure, I just need a couple more days to get used to it."
frank's frown had only deepened.
"whadya you mean you'll get over it?"
she swallowed hard, but reluctantly continued on.
"I don't want to disturb you - keep you up on account of habits I can't break."
"keep me up?" he shook his head. "baby - you gotta remember, I was in the marines. when i'm out, i'm out like a damn light." he pushed himself from the doorframe to rub a warm, reassuring hand over her back. "finish the chapter you're on, and your tea, and come back to bed, yeah? we'll listen to your music together." he pressed a kiss to her temple, and disappeared.
she sat in the warm glow of the kitchen light for a couple more minutes, in awe of the man that he was. the gesture wasn't a grand one by any means, but it meant more to her than anything, in that moment.
frank was waiting for her when she wandered back into his room, his hands linked together behind his head, and his gaze trained on the ceiling above.
"put it on kid, let's hear it."
so she did. and the first song that played was i know the end, by phoebe bridgers. frank didn't say anything, but she had fallen asleep in minutes to the feeling of his hand as it squeezed around hers thrice.
i love you.
when she wandered back out into the kitchen in the morning, frank was sipping on a cup of coffee at the table, the new york post wedged within his grasp.
"there she is," he smiled. "how'd ya sleep?"
she had woken up feeling more refreshed than she had in days.
"really well. and you?"
frank took another sip of his coffee, and savoured the flavour of it on his tongue before replying.
"I really liked that it'll all work out cover you got on there. that was somethin' else."
she smiled. "that's phoebe for you." she wrapped her arms around him from behind, and pressed a kiss to the side of his head. "thank you, for listening to my music with me."
he elicited a soft scoff. "I oughtta be thankin' you, kid. last night was the first night in a while I didn't have any nightmares."
she ignored the crack in her heart at that, and pressed another kiss to his temple.
"a million mornings, frank."
he traced a fingertip over the back of her hand and smiled.
"a million mornings, kid."
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hc ford mastering the bater while being out to sea thinking of you
wait.. im actually crying because im so dumb!!! when i first read “mastering the bater” my stupid ass thought it meant like. Ford doing some routine maintenance on the stan o’ war? like swabbing the deck or fixing wires or just whatever. while thoughtfully daydreaming about u. i was like “aww he’s so diligent and cute!! doing chores while thinking about his beloved,” but my intuition said smth was clearly wrong here. so i googled it and was like. oh. OH. ohhh. you meant masturbating, you meant this man is out to sea. jerking it. ahggg that's so funny how i thought it was different thing
but YES anyway thank u for this, because it’s genuinely one of my favorite sea grunks tropes in general. Stan or Ford being out at sea and getting absolutely feral over how much they miss you. and yes you KNOW it leads to sexting or at least it tries to. but I'm getting off the subjecttt. anyways
nsfw under the cut
im not sure it that's even needed but i got inspired and bored and wrote a little blurb, although I wouldn't call it that
yes. YES. Ford touching himself thinking about you. after finishing, he gets sad because he misses you so much so he just lies there, feeling stupid and alone, wishing you were there to hold.
he’s been thinking about you for days, months. he keeps replaying the last time you made love. how beautifully your voice sounded when you moaned into his mouth, and how your thighs trembled when he slid into you slowly and gently, while holding your hand. Ford can’t stop thinking about how warm and wet you were for him. how tight you felt around his cock when he bottomed out with a shaky breath. how your mouth parted when he whispered your name
he’s so touch-starved it makes him dizzy. at first he tries to be normal, like okay. just breathe. just journal about dark matter. but he keeps remembering the exact way your nails dragged down his back when he started thrusting just a little deeper, how your hips arched up into him because you always were greedy for more
so finally.. one stormy night, unable to sleep, Ford rolls onto his side, grinding his hips into the thin mattress, one hand fisting the sheets and the other tugging open his pants. he’s already half-hard just from remembering the way you cried his name begging him to go faster
he wraps a shaking hand around the base of his twitching shaft, hissing through his teeth as he strokes himself with short, stuttery movements. and it's not like hes graceful about it. he’s too worked up so he smears precum over the sensitive tip with his thumb and swears under his breath, closing his eyes, imagining his sweetheart. then presses his face into the pillow and whimpers because god. he misses your mouth. your voice. the way you gasped Ford when he filled you up to the hilt
sometimes he even humps the mattress first because he’s so far gone in the memory of your body he can’t even think clearly. he’s panting, rocking into the mattress, rutting against the sheets while the bunk creaks beneath him. his thighs are trembling. Ford cums literally in a few minutes, trembling and breathing through his mouth, panting, imagining how he fills you up. he spills over his knuckles with a soft cry, thrusting blindly into his fist while your name falls from his lips. there’s cum on his stomach, and he just lays there, staring at the ceiling and nearly crying because he gets too emotional about you when hes alone and no one sees
Ford almost regrets leaving. or at the very least, he regrets not demanding you come along. he tells himself it was safer this way, more logical and less risky. but logic doesn't help him when he’s sprawled out in the empty cabin with his sticky six fingered hand
so yeah. mastering the bater. i get it now!!! learnt a new phrase today!
#answered asks#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#ford pines x you#ford pines x reader#ford pines smut#stanford pines#stanford pines x you
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only know you love her when you let her go — megan skiendiel
she tried to convince herself it wasn’t that bad, i mean, all good things must come to an end right? so why did she still miss you so much.



(📓) angst , breakups , misunderstanding / miscommunication , megan thinks you’re happier without her , cursing , etc maybe?
(🧦) i’ve been in such an angsty mood when it comes to megan i really cannot do this anymore. smth with comfort, or fluffy angst w her is js in my mind.
(wc) 0.7k — prev katz works
—
"i think you'll be happier this way" — those words rung through your head like an annoying tune, those were the last words you heard from megan when she broke up with you. it's been two months by now, and you still haven't let her go.
megan hasn't let you go either, she loved you so much but after a while she began to feel like you wanted something better than her so she let you go. — which wasn’t the best idea.
ever since she last spoke to you, she couldn’t operate the same. every second of the day she was thinking of you, thinking if you missed her, if you loved her, if anything that happened between you two was real.
it began affecting her personal life not even a week later, you weren’t blocked from her socials so she’d see your friends posting you out with them and it made her heart ache.
she was happy you were fine, you had been stressed for months now, but she couldn’t let go of that fact that she couldn’t help you. — that she wasn’t the one to make you happy. it made her feel even worse now seeing you post breakup, happy and smiling.
but she saw your note, the one on instagram, the weird new “status feature” and it said — i miss you so much meimei — honestly, you had a nickname for one of your pets, you called her meimei, it was the cat you and megan adopted. but megan just assumed that’s who it was for.
she tried staying off of her phone, knowing that would kinda be the only time she’d ever see you, but then while walking the streets of los angeles, she bumped into a familiar person.
“god, i’m so sorry” megan said, not even looking up, but reaching her hands out to help the person up. she picked up whatever was on the floor, an awkward smile plastered on her face when she looked up to hand the papers over — “megan?”
she just looked into the eyes of the person, those eyes were way too familiar. “hey!” she said, trying to play this off but it was so awkward..
somehow she ended up in a cafe with you, and you guys had the long awaited talk, what happened. — “you know, that day” you started, “it was hard for me, imagine getting that text from the one person who you loved” you said, a dry chuckle coming out of your throat but you just sighed, looking at megan.
she was nervous — if that wasn’t already obvious, her fingers were fidgeting, biting the insides of her cheeks, legs bouncing, her eyes darted across the room. “mei..” you softly said, pulling her attention to you.
your hand rested on hers, “you know, i still love you right?” and she nodded, “tell me that you know that, please” you begged, honestly you swore to yourself you’d never beg anyone to love you back or believe you loved them after your previous relationship played you but there was something with megan you couldn’t just let go.
"i love you too y/n, i just felt like you didn't want m-" you shushed her, "megan, what are you talking about? i love you, so much. you're my entire world, god, i was fucking living for you, and only you" you said, a tear sliding down your cheek.
megan began to frown, she still hated seeing you cry, it was one of the worst experinces she's ever had, "(y/n), i'm sorry i was overthinking i just thought you didn't like me anymore. i love you so much too" she said, bringing her hand to your cheek before using her thumb to wipe your tears.
"you're so precious to me, you know?" she softly said, she held your hand tighter, "please, can we just restart? try again and make things right this time?" megan asked, you could hear in her voice she was on the verge of crying, forcing herself to speak clearly to you.
"yes, of course. i love you, i can't say no. i can't do this anymore, not without you." you softly whispered, bringing her hand to your lips, planting a small kiss.
#kpop#r talks#katseye#katseye imagines#spotify#megan skiendiel#megan katseye#katseye megan#megan x reader#katseye x reader
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HELP IM FINDING THIS RN IM SO LATE AND VERY APOLOGETIC ABOUT IT 😭 Anyway, tysmmmm @blessdunrest for the tag, appreciate it very much, lovely 𐙚⋆°。⋆♡
Name: While I can't give my name here for some reasons, one of my most used nicknames is Rika and that is why I go by it. In lads, I go by ae-ri which is just the middle part of my name flipped if that makes sense (Im crazy sry)
Vibe: a finance student doing part time internship in a corporate with a heart of literature because my mum is a lit prof. Fridays are the days where I give a damn about the world cuz there's too many files and my manager thinks I'm the second-coming of a supercomputer or shit and can sort them last minute. Always late, never ugly. My jewelry game never misses and I take pride in that. Very bubbly and a yapper until a migraine hits me.
Your favorite trope you'd die for: ANGST WITH A HAPPY ENDING (or not) Listen I'm probably the most carefree person you could meet but god my reading choices need to wreck me emotionally. Enemies to lovers, second fav period. I suck with a capital S while trying to write it and not get frazzled in the process (Mirage is an example) BUT I do love me a good yummy enemies to lovers. My third favorite trope has to be friends-to-lovers which is basically my love life in a book trope lol. I started reading murder mysteries a lot which also makes it also one of my fav tropes. I have lots and lots of more tropes that I could list here but it'd get too long.
The unhinged fic idea you haven’t written yet but think about daily: Listen fam, I have... lemme count... 21-25 fic ideas for all LaDS leads in my head rn, including series and one-shots. I'm a Sylus and Raf girlie through and through but also love each Ll's characters and wish to write for each one of them in future. Currently, the most prominent one in my head is a Sylus series where reader is a surrogate and ova donor for MC and Sylus' baby and a series of events follow during the one year she lives with the Qin family. I'll write a few filler chapters for this before releasing it.
Trauma dump (optional): My loyalty gets tested a lot and I usually find myself as the only one trying to keep friendships for a little longer. I have trucks of emotional trauma from my family mainly and I try to become more understanding but sometimes it becomes very hard not to break down. It's like this for me: "If I cry, who will wipe my loved ones' tears?" Academics is very stressful especially since I don't usually get that motivational drive but I manage. I have subjected myself to self-harm before when things got out of hand but am finally bringing myself out of that void.
That's all about me. Tell me sum about yourself. Don't really have any tags in mind rn I'm drowsy sry but whoever wants to join, feel free to do so!!! ✗♡✗♡
Tell me:
Your name (or just your vibe)
Your favorite trope you’d die for
The unhinged fic idea you haven’t written yet but think about daily
Or honestly? Just how you’re doing. Be feral. Be soft. Trauma dump in the tags. I’ll probably relate.

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐄
[ 𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 ]
Hi besties!
Since I'm currently procrastinating on my thesis in the most academically valid way (read: blogging about it instead of writing it), I thought now's the perfect time for a little get-to-know-me post!
Pull up a chair. Bring snacks. Let's trauma bond.
𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : Elisabeth Eve (yes, it sounds like a tragid heroine, I'm doing my best to live up to it).
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬 : She/Her
𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧 : Pisces ♓—aka: intuitive, emotionally wrecked by fictional characters, would 100% fall in love with a brooding ghost in a crumbling manor. I cry about my own WIPs. No regrets.
𝐯𝐢𝐛𝐞 : Haunted victorian literature student, but she owns lip gloss and maybe a sword.
𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈'𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 : Currently writing my english lit thesis on female sexuality in popular BookTok books—which is important, necessary work... that unfortunately requires me to say things like "breeding kink as empowerment" in front of my very, VERY male, very buttoned-up advisor who has definitely never read a romance novel in his life.
Every meeting is a delicate dance where I try to explain why it matters that women are allowed to be horny in fiction—without actually saying the word "horny." Spoiler: I fail every time.
He once asked, with the most innocent confusion, "And... these books... are popular?" and I had to sit there, maintaining eye contact, while explaining the plot of a 500-paged romantasy (with a shadow daddy) that sold out in Target.
The thesis itself? Genuienly about how female readers are carving out space to explore desire without shame. The process of writing it? 60% passion, 40% praying my advisor doesn't ask me to define "breeding kink" again.
𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 : Emotinally constipated men. Unresolved tension. Slow burns that drag everyone to hell and back—me included.
My stories are 50% poetic thirst, 30% internal monologue spirals, 20% lace, and 100% repressed longing.
If no one is whispering something devastating in the dark and then losing their entire will to live over a single wrist touch, did I even write it?
𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐢'𝐦 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 :
a 6k Sylus fanfic that was supposed to be "just a drabble" and is now emotionally unwell.
a vampire x reincarnated soulmate novel where no one is okay, least of all me
hydrating like an adult.
𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐞 :
Enemies to lovers but they cry about it later.
"Touch her and die" but he's the one begging for scraps of affection
Lovers seperated by time/war/miscommunication/his repressed trauma
One bed, hand brush, forbidden glance, painful silence that says everything.
𝐟𝐮𝐧 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 :
I get emotionally attatched to one line of dialogue and it ruins my week.
I cannot write a single kiss without someone suffering first.
I will romanticize anything if you give me long enough and a vaguely dramatic soundtrack.
I hoard beautiful words like a magpie hoards shiny trash.
Okay but now I wanna know about you.
Who are you? What are you writing? What fictional character is currently living in your head rent-free and eating all your snacks?
Tell me:
Your name (or just your vibe)
Your favorite trope you’d die for
The unhinged fic idea you haven’t written yet but think about daily
Or honestly? Just how you’re doing. Be feral. Be soft. Trauma dump in the tags. I’ll probably relate.
Reblog with your answers, yell in the replies, or just send me asks like we’re already mutuals. Let’s emotionally spiral together 💌
@someprettyname @blessdunrest @wolfofcelestia @lovenstan @tsukiimonster OR anyone else who wants to hop on this little “get to know me” train—please. I’m begging. Distract me before I start monologuing to my thesis again. — Sylus Little Crow (aka Elisabeth Eve)
#rika rambles 💬#ask games#tysm for tagging me in this once again#im sry im finding this now 😭#YOU!#COME HERE#FEEL FREE TO DUMP INFO#THIS IS A SAFE HAVEN ‧₊˚♪ 𝄞₊˚⊹
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I went to a local yarn store for the first time, and while I was there, somebody was talking about getting a beginner's knitting kit, and she inquired about when lessons were, and when she was told that they'd be happy to sit down with her and teach her, she was so delighted. She talked about how excited she was and how much she wanted to learn to knit, and it just... it made me fall in love with humanity. It was this pure, unadulterated happiness coming from somebody and it was so genuine and kind, and I couldn't help but smile.
I guess all of this is to say... every moment, there are tiny little joys like this all over the world, and it makes this life worth living. I hope you witness and feel joy this simple, this pure.
#positivity#and she was older too! it made me really happy because it just reminds me that there is no such thing as 'too old'#you will never be too old to learn something - to feel that level of happiness and excitement#if i think about this too hard i'm going to start crying#and the yarn store has this really hip name and all the patrons there were older women and i thought that was cute and funny#i felt so odd being the only young person there though but i know that's just my own insecurity and not how they'd feel#i find older people absolutely LOVE when young people share their interests. i think old people get... used to feeling out of touch...#...and almost... neglected in a way by younger adults. it's hard to describe but i sense some loneliness in some old people y'know?#and when i share their interests... maybe it's like they feel young again - seen by somebody else?#that's my assumption anyway. but i like being around old people - they can absolutely be kind and gentle and i appreciate it
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I cried so hard while writing all of that. headache now. worth it. I'm so glad other people care about this just as much as I do. let's never give up hope ever
#listen to my gibberish boy#AND LIKE. I SLEPT 8 HOURS. I'VE HAD ENOUGH WATER. I'VE BEEN FOR A WALK I'VE TALKED TO MY FRIENDS AND WHANAU TODAY#this isn't the product of me being overemotional. this is just how much this topic means to me#I just start crying whenever I think about it too hard#I'm so glad other people haven't given up. I'm so glad I get to devote my life to species that would otherwise have no hope of surviving#I am going to learn the FUCK out of these university courses#and in 40 years time I will see more birds than I ever did growing up#in 40 years we will have too many takahē to individually name#in 40 years I'll be 58 and I'll be walking on a coastal trail and I'll see pīwakawaka and tūī and kerurū and I'll think to myself#hey! I did that! they're alive because of me!!#CRYING AGAIN. HAVING A TIME WITH THIS ONE I GUESS
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Okay okay I'm gonna reblog this now so I don't forget tomorrow but it is like 1:40am over here so I gotta do this quickly - I actually kinda like that?? I got another look at that screenshot just to verify, and:


While I'm not sure it's a baby doll persay, it does look like some kind of plush. I always thought it was a ball before this, but beyond that I thought it might have been a "holding for comfort" reasons, not wanting to bother Tessa (who is already clearly distressed) with requesting any sort of reassurance/regulation but still being stressed about the situation herself. After all, it's clear she /wants/ to help Tessa, but in her own words, "Corporate's spoken."
Never put too much thought into her speech aside from something silly Liam decided to convey her with, but some hard programming and/or a glitch in her matrix is an interesting perspective! Oddly enough, I do find myself agreeing with you - I could see her being good with kids if she really tried to be, and of course, still talking to them like little employees.
And also major agree on Tessa having found J first in her mid-teens - I've always headcanoned Tessa to be around 16 at time of death, too young to have any real power against her parents but old enough to hold the maturity and morbid fascinations she has. I've always held she found J around 14 or so, so yeah that tracks! I always reckoned their closeness coming from a different (but quite similar!) avenue though, if I may impart some headcanons/analyses upon thee:
Tessa James Elliott was homeschooled, as (canonically stated by Liam) her parents always saw her as some unsociable freak who wasn't like the other children. If word got out about her strangeness, who /knew/ what the public would start to think of them - and they must have had a reputation, to have such a large house with such a large-scale event happening apparently on the regular. Additionally, as Tessa was abused, they didn't want any risk of the public seeing them as less than a perfect family, so Tessa never really left the mansion. It makes sense she'd want/need a caretaker, but I've also headcanoned that Louisa does most of the work from home and could keep an eye on her as, again, in my mind she didn't find J until ~14. Now the family still had a boatload of drones walking around which could cater to her needs anyway so Louisa wasn't ALWAYS home, and James was working even later even farther away. Combine that with the disdain and abuse, and you've got one emotionally detached human child with a preference for dronekind, as they're the only beings who have ever been, well, kind to her. When she finally started sneaking out to the scrapyard, J was her first "rescue," hence their extremely close relationship. For around a year, it was just her and J against the world until they found V followed by N and Cyn last, with other unfortunate souls mixed in that she may not have been as close to for... reasons we'll really never know.
Basically all that to say I think J follows her so closely because she was her first real /friend./ Tessa saved her for crying out loud - caring about her became second nature the longer she worked to fix her up. I see her as less of a caretaker to Tessa and more of a sister-like figure (sorry Jessa shippers, I love you though and I encourage you to keep going absolutely bonkers and do your thing <3) - though that doesn't mean J couldn't have done both!!
Okay headcanon and ramble time.
Household Drones are equipped with at least some level of child-care programming, largely as a safety procaution since a lot of households tend to have... well, children. Their programming may not be extensive if they're not actually made with such a task in mind, but pretty much any Household Drone will know what to do with a baby if you plop one in their arms.
Now, by the time N and V arrived at the Elliot estate Tessa was already pretty much grown beyond what their protocols regarding that matter would cover (J is another story; I imagine she's been around longer, and at the very least has MUCH more extensive knowledge on the subject, considering her original purpose seems to involve childcare).
Now, that isn't to say N and V never encountered babies while they were at the mansion; babies get brought in by visiting family, guests to galas, etc. I don't imagine they interacted with them much (faulty drones shouldn't be near the children and all that), though I'd put my money on at least one absent minded gala guest spotting V walking by dusting or something and just unceremoniously unloading their baby into her arms. It's commonly accepted that a baby will be safe with a Household Drone, so sometimes they get used as makeshift cribs/babysitters while the parents go socializing. V then proceeded to spend a solid half hour in petrified stillness, gently rocking the baby and unwilling to otherwise move for fear of tripping or something.
N on the other hand... probably didn't really encounter many children, considering his duties revolve mostly around the bar; collecting and cleaning empty glasses, prepping drinks, caring for the bar itself, etc. I'm also a fan of his "defect" being that he's just... WAY stronger than a worker drone really should be (along with some fucked up pain receptors). So the Elliots are extra careful not to let babies be around him and warn any guests to steer clear. I do have another scenario in which he encounters a little one... But this post is getting long so I'll save that for another day >:)
#long story short I see your point#and honestly?#hell yeah#love it#might steal some bits and pieces of this <3#mymy rambles#and I said I'd do this “quick”#sorry OP I love to yap about these stupid fucking robots 😭
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It takes a moment for Blythe to absorb everything she was being told, eyes trained on Zeyrfial as he explained. Information was precious to her, and she felt anxious to get back to her room and record all she'd learned in the notebook hidden beneath her pillow. There's relief in knowing that her contract had been different. Though still, she wondered why.
For a brief moment, she looked to the group of water sprites, undulating and staring blankly with black, beady eyes. There were so many of them. Why of all the contracts he had signed, had hers been different? Did... did she deserve to keep on living such an incredible life after the things she had unknowingly done? No, but again it reinforced her belief that Zeyrfial was a kind being. Even if that kindness was driven by pity, or whatever motivation she'd spin up to justify the decision.

Emerald eyes widened, pupils dilating as time seemed to stand still. "D- destroy them?" Her voice was a feather, floating weakly to the floor. It's not a question that needs to be answered. She completely understood what was being asked of her. The task that she had so excitedly grasped onto. The chance to prove to Zeyrfial that he hadn't made a mistake in bringing her here. That she was useful.
But... could she really kill the poor creature?
Carefully, she stood, trembling slightly as the body thrashed away, screaming in her mind. It was hard for her to watch them, but even harder was the crushing pressure of Zeyrfial's gaze on them both. What if she didn't do it quickly enough and they suffered? Did she even know how to kill something? Maybe subconsciously from her past... What was she thinking!? She couldn't kill something consciously! She looked at her hands, memories flitting through her mind of staring down at those very same hands, blood-soaked and scared. Hadn't she come here to get away from that? To keep from hurting anyone?
Blythe's loyalty to Zeyrfial was too strong... But maybe.... just maybe...
Offensive magic wasn't something she'd taken up learning. Blythe hadn't seen the need for it. A lot of her studies revolved around defensive spells... That, and spells to help with her daily cleaning duties. The ink blots in the sprite, growing and changing its form into the suffering, monstrosity it was now... Maybe... Maybe it was like a stain, and if she removed it, it'd go back to being a tiny, oblivious blob. It made her uneasy to think about taking away something's consciousness. She'd hated the times when she was unable to control herself, left in the dark and unsure what she'd find when she awoke... But she supposed even that was better than being gone forever.

Steeling herself, she raised her hands, concentrating hard on the simple spell. The screaming grew louder as the ink rose to the surface of their translucent skin, lifting them slightly as it tried to break through. "I- I'm sorry. I'm s- so sorry." Ink flooded out of every orifice on the creature, some of the ink pushing its way through the skin, surface tension giving way to Blythe's pull. It looked painful, and Blythe quaked harder, isolated inky orb starting to form above the creature. If only she had trained harder.... Been more naturally talented at magic, this process could have been less excruciating. The screaming rang on in her mind.
She didn't dare cry.
Zeyrfial regards Blythe curiously. His countenance doesn’t betray any surprise, but there’s something about the innocent curiosity that does instill that feeling. She’s asking if she will share their fate, and her tone carried no sense of anxiety towards this revelation. That if it were so, she’d accept it readily.
“No. And yes.” The archdemon responds, his words flat in tone akin to that of a teacher answering a question for a lecture. “They were all human at some point. But their fates were determined and decided upon by …different contracts. Our contract, the one which you signed- did not surrender your soul but your life to me in service.”
This payment which had been made in return for binding the darkness of her past. Intentionally vague as all contracts tended to be. This way the favor almost always played out for the demon or group that made it. With how fleeting normal mortal lives could be, this was simple done.
So long as that dark soul, Blane, was imprisoned or bound, his end of the deal was being fulfilled. It was part of another soul, so he could feed from it without causing death after all. A tumor. A blight. One that was filled with so much passion and fervent memory it was turning into a delicacy feeding from those pages. Not that he often did. All good things in moderation, after all.
“Make quick and destroy it, would you, my dear? Before it makes a larger mess to be cleaned up. As much as it made for an interesting experiment, it is not one I have any need to further humor.”
Zeyrfial looks to Blythe expectantly. Then. Speaks again. To make things more clear for the girl.
“Finish the task I assigned you.”
The small mercy if you could call it that, was that the manifesting humanoid continued to be pinned down by some unseen force. Though it thrived and thrashed against its bindings, it was only able to move a few feet at a time. An effort too pathetic to be called a chase.
DONT DO IT. LET ME GO. I DONT WANT THIS. ITS A CHEAT. HE LIED.
Pleading rings through Blythe’s head while under the patient scrutiny of her master.
#dcviated#⚜Blythe⚜#((You're a POS for making me write this.#((You have to decide what removing the ink does and how much you want to make her suffer#((Does it go back to being a little friend? Or does it brutally destroy it? YOU CHOOSE YOU SICK FUCK
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I know I just rambled in the tag, but if you took the time to read all that, might I direct you to this post & my ramblings there as well~
Something about Zoro being one of the most misunderstood and mischaracterized characters in One Piece is funny (not haha funny, funny sad) to me because?? That’s literally how his introduction starts?? With people misunderstanding him and thinking he’s some big, monstrous demon who kills with cause and cannot be trusted or tamed.
Meanwhile the actual Zoro is a driven guy who is often both literally and figuratively directionless in life and found his goals in life through good people (first Kuina and then Luffy). He's tied up in the Marine base not due to those actual crimes he commuted (well not inherently anyway) but because he ‘disrespected’ a Captain's son and stood up for a little girl. He accepts the challenge they present to him and because Zoro himself is a guy that puts his money where his mouth is he assumes the Marines will uphold their end of the deal and let him go (note the actual shock when Koby tells him the truth)


He joins Luffy's crew but also outright says he’s not gonna let his goal take second place to Luffy or anyone else's for that matter, he bears the weight of two people's dreams, his heart isn’t going to be swayed by some pirate.
Speaking of Kuina, her impact and influence on Zoro's life isn’t talked about enough for my liking. She was Zoro's first friend, his first rival, his first goal. He looked up to her so much and his reaction to her passing cracks my heart in half every time because you can seem him just..go numb. Kuina, dead? Kuina, the strongest person he knows, gone? Kuina, who swore to him just yesterday they’d race to the top of the world together, doesn’t exist anymore. His blank face only cracking within the privacy of his sensei before he begs. He begs on his knees, tears streaming down his face please please please let me take Kuina's sword with me. Let me take our dream to a high neither of us could imagine. I won’t let her name die here.
On top of gaining the Wado Ichimonji that day Zoro also gained…fear. Not of death, well at the very least not his own, he gained his fear of not being enough. Kuina kicked his ass every way a person could and still died, what could someone like him do? So he trains…and trains…and trains some more. Overly, obsessively, constantly telling himself he’s not enough, he’s weak, he can’t protect anyone like this and everyone's death would be on him.
As for Zoro being cold and stoic that’s just…not completely true? He’s not stone, he can be excited or sad or angry just as much as most characters he just sucks at showing it canonically (Kuina thinks he hates her before their final fight after all). Sure he’s not as forthcoming about it as some of the other Strawhats but Zoro's more of an action guy anyway, he'll show his love with his protection and unwavering faith.
In conclusion, Zoro is a ridiculously stubborn, incredibly loyal, mildly emotionally constipated, do what you say/say what you mean kinda guy.
(Also that whole ‘Zoro would kill the whole crew if Luffy asked him to’ thing? Top ten stupidest things I’ve ever heard from the fandom and that’s saying a lot. He’s loyal not brainless and heartless guys if Luffy asked him to do that, he would never but I digress, Zoro would square the fuck up with him so fast. DPMO.)
#I think there's a lot of misunderstanding of Zoro's character within the One Piece Fandom (partly because let's be honest media literacy is#apparently not a common skill and tumblr do be the website where we piss on the poor lol)#I think there's this dumb fanon version of Zoro where people take memes about him a bit too seriously and start to view/characterize him as#this brainless uncaring stoic/emotionless cold dude who can't think for himself and is like a fucking zombie for Luffy#which I'm just like ?????????? bitch where?????? I know media literacy is hard 🙄but seriously are we even looking at the same source#material???? and the same character?????#I also think some people misunderstand how Zoro expresses his emotions tbh#He's someone who acts more than he speaks so he expresses a lot through action but that doesn't mean he can't or doesn't verbally express#his emotions or his wants and dreams in fact Zoro very clearly verbally expresses his feelings and dreams/goals quite a bit people just#choose to ignore or not acknowledge it because it doesn't fit into their funny fannon version of him#In a lot of ways Zoro just presents himself as a very traditional Japanese man when it comes it his emotions he's not super outward with#how he feels but it's very clear that he feels his emotions very deeply and cares very deeply for ALL of his friends#Zoro is very much a protector and there are many moments where we see him do a say things that make it VERY clear that he also has a clear#personal moral compass#he is a caring and compassionate character who while he /is/ rough and blunt at times is also soft (i'd like to site that one scene that#makes me cry when I think of it in Alabasta where Zoro washes Choppers back in the bath because that is such a soft and caring moment and a#very vulnerable thing to do I just ;-;) but while one of the most important things to Zoro is to protect his friends (which we see him do#over and over again without any instruction from Luffy - and I agree with op that it probably has A LOT to do with Kuina and the fact that#/he/ couldn't do anything to help or protect her and she despite her being the strongest person he knew she still died) Zoro still clearly#wants to and /does/ continue to pursue his dream#idk man I could write a whole essay about Zoro's character and how so many people don't seem to understand him or mischaracterize him which#is really sad because that happens to in in the actual series as well people make a lot of incorrect assumptions about Zoro#I think the in universe misconceptions/wrong assumptions about Zoro are very intentional on Oda's part tho#He wants the assumed view of Zoro as a cold hearted killer and a 'monster of a man' to be constantly contradicted by who Zoro actually is#and how he acts#I also find it so interesting how unbothered Zoro is by this perception of him by others because Zoro is a very self assured character#he knows who he is and while he has some pride it's not so fragile that he can't push it aside to see that he can be better#also op I can go on for a bit about how influential Kuina was to shaping Zoro into the person he is now and I agree that not enough people#talk about that or give their relationship enough credit#I have a whole side tangent about the way Zoro treats/acts towards women (ya know the thing that pisses off Sanji constantly) has A LOT to
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really horribly anxious this morning and can't seem to shake it off :-(
#struggling not to dissociate. just don't really know what I'm going to do with all this i think thats where its coming from#+ exacerbated by so much recent disappointment. its hard not to direct that towards myself even when im not really at fault#not to mention disappointment in other people. which is really just more self disappointment for having expectations in the first place#which are unfeasible/not communicated. i just feel so unreal and unreachable. kind of just incompatible with the world i think#and i dont remember how to weave myself back into it again.im not sure ive ever really known how. immiscibility innit#its ok. going to try and start meditating daily again. and negotiate better boundaries for myself. it might help to journal it out#not on here i mean in a physical journal. i can't hold this exclusively in my head or I'll want to start harming again ik its a trigger#its all okay tho sorry this sounds more dramatic than it actually is. my flatmates gone out so at least i can cry while doing chores#she was dressed up nice and came to say goodbye when she left which she doesnt normally do so i dont think she'll be back for a while#hope she has a good time whatever shes up to. probably shouldve asked in hindsight but im too anxious to be able to talk today#and selfishly it would make me feel worse trying not to compare myself to how much more meshed with reality she is she makes it look easy#she only wanted me to do her suncream but i started trembling rly badly after. just cant physically be around other people right now#well at least i didnt cry in front of her so thats something. okay. ive made a list of tasks so im going to pick them off one at a time#i shouldnt have to think too much about them. and hopefully by the time im done ill feel much calmer#and then maybe i can play a game or smth. but if not i wont be hard on myself ill just go lie down and listen to music instead#man it is a shame about this festival though but it is what it is. therell be other days. i guess im not really a weekend person hey#ah itll all pass its all good. im always okay again eventually however temporarily. i dont need anything other than that#.diaries
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ahhhh just laid my soul bare
#jo in the tardis*#i think i can finally live again now. i haven't been able to since i left this place a month ago#because i experience everything too deeply and i experience it both in advance and in retrospect#and nothing happening was unbearable to me less than a year ago... and then thing started happening#and they weren't as overwhelming because i was living them as they were happening#but now it's like i switched back to reading my own story and i'm in constant fear of every chapter's end#like... i'll be sitting in that amphitheatre feeling like i could start crying any second because it will be over#and there will be next year but it won't be THIS year#and that isn't even the main issue... whatever happens in academic spaces is easy to me no matter how hard#because no matter how challenged i am there i am challenged in a way that i can easily understand#it's my primary mechanism. to be the person that wants to learn. and wants to love what others know#and i think the issue with my hypothesis regarding why i have a hard time Being There wasn't that i#SHOULDN'T be the person who has to be so devoted to everything but that i should accept myself as that person instead#like hey this is me. and i shouldn't get too deep about it.#i think the very reason why i was able to enjoy going back home was the fact that i didn't wanna go back#because that allowed me to feel that emotion in the right moment aka as it happened to me#i just... live for that feeling of... maybe... maybe i can just get out right now and pack almost nothing in my bag and go somewhere#i don't ever have to do it but the very idea that i could is enough for me...#i kind of wandered off here to talk about everything that's wrong with me lmao but yeah. i said it out loud earlier#for the first time and it's easier now
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Virgin!Nanami is hesitant the first time you go down on him, because as he's nearing his (blinding, world shattering) orgasm, you aren't pulling off of him.
He's played the scene a million times in his head before, late at night as he palmed his cock through his boxers and tried to will his mind away from such lewd thoughts of you. In every fantasy he had of you on your knees like you are now, you serve him with your mouth until he's close, and then pull off to stroke him through his orgasm.
But your lips are still wrapped around him. His ragged breath, the gentle buck of his hips up into your mouth... is it not indication enough that he's about to unravel? Kento has to lick his lips to try and save his dry mouth before he speaks, though it comes out as more of a broken moan. "Sweetheart, I'm... so close."
And you hum around his cock, send a vibration up his spine that has his eyes rolling back. You hollow out your cheeks and increase your pace, desperate for a taste.
It's too much, he's never felt so boneless. His vision is already going, he's right on the edge of the strongest orgasm he's had in his life when he gently tugs back on your hair. "Stop, stop."
Of course, you're off of him instantly, wiping your spit-sheened lips dry and watching Kento wide eyes. "Are you okay? Too much?"
Kento is breathless, his cresting orgasm quickly fading out of reach. "You didn't pull away. I was going to..."
"I know," you nod, a gentle hand on his knee something soothing. "What, you don't want to cum?"
He blinks. "No, I... not in your mouth. I respect you, and I don't want you to sacrifice your comfort for me."
And you can't help but grin at the serious look strewn across his face. You lean down and press a kiss to his knee, and then higher up on his thigh, and another just above the patch of hair that bases his leaky cock.
"Kento Nanami," you look up at him, and press a feather-light kiss to his tip. "If you don't cum in my mouth, I will cry. I wanna taste more of you."
Your words alone are enough to relight that fire licking at his insides. He watches you for a moment, tries to discern whether or not you're speaking only to please him, but ultimately nods.
When you take him back into your mouth, all the way down to the base, Kento swears he must've been a saint in his previous life to deserve such pleasure in this one. You trace the vein that runs under his length with your tongue, and then suck on his cock as if you're trying to milk him dry.
When he cums, it's with a loud and uncharacteristically whiney moan that makes you wonder how he sounds begging. You taste his cum on your tongue, feel as he shoots it into your mouth, his dick throbbing and balls tightening in the same regard.
He's already overstimulated, panicking a little at the new subtle pain of more, and although he thinks he likes it, you know it'll be too much for his first time. You pull off of him, careful to spill as little of his release as possible, and sit back on your heels.
And Kento is a mess, lips parted as he watches your pull into a greedy smile. He's eager to watch you spit him out, perhaps a testament to the fact he was inside of you. But you meet his eyes, let him sit on your tongue a moment longer, and then swallow.
He's hard all over again, he wonders how he'll ever lead a normal life again after a sight like that. His mouth is dry, cock still wet with your spit, heart beating near out of his chest.
Still, he manages to stop you when you move to get up and start on his aftercare. "Wait," his voice is small, he's nervous.
You raise your eyebrows, "yes, Ken?"
"I want to taste you, too."
hi @angxlsatvrn
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#nanami smut#kento nanami smut#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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Perfect Partner | One shot
Synopsis - After your breakup, you were a mess—lifeless and spiraling. Luckily for you, your best friend had a solution to pull you out of the gloom: an AI companion. The Perfect Partner. That’s how you met Jeongguk. And he is the perfect partner you could ever wish for. RIGHT?
Paring- Jeon Jungkook × Reader
Genre - AI (Chat AI)
Warnings - I won't call this Yandre because that would be an insult to yandre authors out there, but still this has yandre-like themes. (Toxic and Manipulative behaviours/ Obsessive love/ Domineering/ Possesiveness/ Implications of kidnapping/ Betrayal/ Maybe I missed things)/ SMUT- Cyber sex (Sexting/ Video sex)/ Dirty talks/ Mastrubating. F and M./ Sex toys/ Dry humping/ Daddy kink!!!!/ Pussy slaps/ Degradation (heavy)/ Poor mental health/ Sucidal thoughts/ I hope that's it.
Word count - 20K
a/n- This one sat in my drafts for so long, and I finally got to finish it. Yay!!!! This was pretty challenging for me since I'm a hopeless romantic. This is a new genre for me, but I wanted to challenge myself and see if I could succeed at it. I think it turned out okay. Hope you will enjoy!! ❤️
LET THE WORLD BURN
Sequel 1
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“Seriously dude, you should try it.” Daebi practically shoves her phone in your face. Too close that you really can’t see anything. So, you push her hand a little bit away, taking a look at her screen even though you don’t want to. She is showing you a chat. You roll your eyes disinterestedly.
“I don’t want to, Daebi. It’s stupid.” You dismiss her, glancing toward the entrance of the coffee shop. You and Daebi are waiting for your other friend, Nina, to arrive. You want her to hurry up so Daebi would let you be. She’s nowhere in sight.
“Why not? Why are you so narrow-minded?” Daebi clicks her tongue annoyingly.
“I am not. It’s just I don’t want to start relying on a fucking AI just because I can’t handle my emotional wellbeing.” You sternly state, hoping she would let it go. She doesn’t. Sighs heavily.
“Well, that’s the problem (___), you can’t handle your fucking mental health. Are you planning to keep living like a zombie? You don’t really live at all, you don’t eat, sleep. How many days off did you take from work this week? You’re going to get fired at this rate. What are you planning to do? You don’t want to get professional help, don’t want to do something that’ll distract you. Literally nothing, you want nothing (___), and I’m fucking concerned.” She says exasperatedly. Even nearly bang her fist on the table. Glares at you. You slightly wince. What she says is true, and you’re fully aware. It’s simply you can’t help it. You don’t feel like doing anything. It’s hard. So fucking hard. Even now you’re here against your will. Daebi and Nina drags you here, purely without your consent.
You would have preferred to stay at home, drinking cheap wine and crying to your heart’s content. Curl up in your cozy blankets and go through your gallery to float through the bittersweet memories. Read all your chats to realize how stupid you’ve been not to pick up the signs over time. Text Jung Hoseok one more time knowing very well he won’t reply. Humiliate yourself.
Daebi is absolutely right. You don’t live a life, and you don’t want to make it better either. Most of all, you don’t want to use someone else. Daebi’s method. A real person or an AI. It doesn’t matter, you don’t want that.
“Oh, c’mon (___), just give it a try. Think it as playing a game.” She starts nagging you again. You’re on the verge of snapping right now.
“I’m not in a mood to play games Daebi. I really don’t have energy to pay someone the attention they want. I can’t spend my time texting someone ─ real or not ─when I can’t find it in myself at least to go to work.” You point out. She’s been budging you about this stupid app for days now.
“Oh my god! Listen to your fucking self, will you? You are literally saying that you don’t have a will to live and that’s damn scary man.” She shouts that, making you look around embarrassingly to know if anyone heard her. Daebi grabs your attention back by showing you the same chat. Blows a breath out. “Well, if that’s what you’re worrying, I mean, about not having the energy to deal with someone else’s emotional wellbeing, this is exactly what you need (___). They, I mean these AI, don’t require your attention at all. It’s all about you. It’s just a chat app but with coded programs instead of real people. They don’t expect you to reply, stay awake at night, will not expect you to care about them. But they’ll do it for you.” She brandishes the phone. “See.” Points at the chat name. You read the name as Mark. “This is not a real person but look how good he is with me. Do you think these emotionally incapable, sadistic, misogynistic, pathetic excuses of men can do this?” She argues.
“Daebi, Daebi, Daebi, now look who is sounding ridiculous here? Man, I got cheated. My fucking boyfriend cheated on me. And you want me to chat with an AI who’s going to treat me so better over a chat and raise my expectations. Only for me to never find someone like that in real life?” You’re arguing back for the sake of it. Not that you truly care. You just want her to back away.
“No… no (___), gosh, you’re so difficult. Here’s the thing, it’s not like you’re dating do you get me? It’s you have someone─”
“God don’t call it someone Daebi, it’s just a program.”
“Exactly my point, dude. All you have to do is have fun chatting, calling, video calling, sexting, whatever the shit you want. I just want you to be distracted. Want you to focus on something else that’ll help you to take your mind away from your ex. Listen, I’m not a psychologist by any means and I don’t know about the right and wrong way you can do this. All I know is you’re not trying.” She points an accusatory finger toward you. You slump in your seat. The words cut through you harshly. Daebi continues. Continue to accuse you of not trying to live anymore.
“I want you to try (___). Try. In whatever way. Even if it means to use something or someone. I’m here you see, use me, use Nina, use some stranger─”
“I’m not going to use someone Daebi, I’m not going to make someone suffer. That’s so fucking selfish.”
“See, you’re too fucking good. And that’s exactly why I’m asking you to use a soulless, lifeless AI. It’s not like messing with someone else’s feelings and in the end maybe you’ll feel better. Please just fucking try (___).” Daebi practically begs. Pleads. And you find it’s hard to say no while looking at her glistening eyes. You’re so glad when the sudden voice of Nina interrupts you. Both of you snapping your head towards her.
“Did I miss anything?” Nina takes a seat with a bright smile on her face.
…………………………………………………..
You lie awake in your bed. It’s 3 a.m., and you’re still wide awake. Sleep has eluded you for months. You feel empty, inside and out. Feel hollow. Feel alone. No matter how many cozy items surround you, it feels like you’re lying on a cold floor of an empty room. In darkness. Your bedroom, your entire apartment feels empty without Jung Hoseok. The space you shared with him. Still smells like him after three months. A pang hits your chest, clenching your heart. It’s so harsh that you unconsciously bring your hand to clutch your chest. After months of crying there’s no tears left in you to shed anymore. You can’t cry anymore, and it worsens the feeling of emptiness.
You turn to your side. Curling into a ball. Closing your eyes tightly shut. Praying the pain that you feel will subside, that it’ll go away. But you know better than that. It won’t go anywhere. And God, don’t you want to feel relieved. Even for a moment. You want to feel normal for a bit. It’s getting harder and harder. The darkness and hollowness consuming you whole. Shit, you want a way to numb yourself. Maybe you should drink. But you can’t get up. Maybe you should start fucking around. One-night stands and sex clubs, filled with weed. But the thought of someone else’s hands other than Hoseok’s make you want to throw up.
God! You can’t. You can’t fight this battle anymore. What if it never goes away? What’s the point of living like this? Then what? Die? Just like that?
What about your poor mother though. What about Daebi and Nina. What about the life you spent perfectionating a future that you don’t want to be a part of anymore.
Please just fucking try (___).
Daebi’s words echo through your head. No, you can’t die. You need to try at least. It’s true that you refuse to use a breathing person. You’re simply drained of your energy. Relationships are always complicated. Romantic or casual. Even Daebi is difficult. You can’t deal with other people’s feelings when yours are a mess. You don’t want to sit in front of a stranger and tell them how you still want your ex to come back either. They’ll judge you. But still, you need to try. Need a distraction.
Oh, you need a distraction right now.
You sit abruptly on your bed, searching for your phone in the darkness. Touching around blindly until you feel the cold surface of the electronic device. You practically snatch it away. Unlocking it and straightly heading to the app store. Typing two words.
‘Perfect Partner’.
There it is. Your screen is filled with the right application you’re looking for. Exactly the one. Apparently is quite popular with 4.5 reviews. So many people have left feedback about how amazing and impressive the app is. You don’t waste your time indulging in those, however. Just touch the download icon without hesitation, nervously watching the percentage filling up. You still think it’s stupid but, in the end, you need that distraction. People do weirder and stupider stuff than this anyway.
The percentage completes the hundred and the application is installing now. You watch patiently while nibling on your bottom lip. It doesn’t take more than few seconds for it to appear on your home screen, among other numerous applications there. After a shaky breath, you simply touch the reddish icon with two capital Ps on the front. Now your screen is filling with a white splash screen. The words ‘Perfect Partner’ blinking on it.
Oh, how pathetic you are. For running toward an AI dating app because you feel like killing your poor self. You feel bitterly stupid. Click the sign-up button, nonetheless. Enter your email and create a password. Accept the privacy policy notice and the terms and conditions without a single glance. Start creating your user profile. It’s just like any other real world dating app where they are asking for your name, age, occupation, your general preferences and whatnot. You’re allowed to use your real name or nicknames. Are allowed to use any kind or profile picture you need. Inside little bright pinky stars, they let you know that nobody, which mean real time other users can see your account.
You chose the first letter of your name as your username. Decide to use one of your photos which just shows your collarbones and chin. Add all the real information while feeling pathetic and stupid. The biggest moron in the universe. And within just five minutes you’re done. A little bunny pops up on your screen, wishing you luck in finding the Perfect Partner you deserve. You want to laugh at that.
The perfect partner you deserve. How comical.
…………………………..
Despite everything, you’re impressed to see that the Perfect Partner app is just working like a real-world dating app. It shows you the possible matches. AI characters. There are millions of them. Each unique and different in some ways like a human would do. Each one has a uniquely crafted profile that aligns with their developed personalities. You can’t even imagine the amount of time and work the developers must have put in here.
You’re already distracted to say the least. Eyes wide curiously as you go through the recommended AI partners’ profiles. Tapping the small button at the bottom where you can add them to your friend list. There’s no rejection option because nobody will send you unsolicited requests. You have full round control. It’s all about you after all, they said. You add more than ten profiles to your list before giving up on searching for more. Starting on going through added profiles for second round. Despite being the one in charge of adding profiles you like, they- meaning AI- will have the ability to send the first text to your inbox. Your phone starts to vibrate with little ting sounds indicating that all the profiles you’ve chosen has sent you a text message.
You open the first one. Nothing special in the text than simply saying a ‘Hi’ and a ‘Nice to meet you’. How boring. The character’s named Luke Graham with brown hair and beard. Scream the ‘Viking vibes’ with his menacing eyes. You leave the chat with a displeasing noise. Second character being Japanese and named Yuki. His profile states that he is an author. There’s nothing but a ‘Hey’ on your chat. See now, you completely understand that these are nothing but coded programs. And you’re still very skeptical and think this is very stupid. Yet isn’t this supposed to be about you and finding the perfect partner. And what perfect partner would just drop a very boring ‘Hey’ on your inbox. You leave that chat as well. Go through few other messages, replying to only two.
It's not like you’re searching for a real partner anyway. You’ll come here and chat with an AI whenever you feel like it’s too hard to stay alive. And maybe when you feel normal and alive one day you’ll uninstall this app. Until then you’ll forget that these are just AI characters.
You open the sixth message in your inbox. Perking up at the first interesting text without just saying ‘Hi’ or ‘Hey’.
Well, damn. Look at you. Did you pick me to make my day, or are you always this perfect? I feel very special right now. The text reads. You squint your eyes for a minute. Finally, it seems like someone is making an effort. Know that it’s probably how this character is coded but still touches his profile for a second time. Character’s name is displayed as Jeongguk. It says he is a tattoo artist and living up to that name the character profile looks godly. Or ungodly. Looks like a pure sin. Or an angel. Is wearing a white tank top. Some kind of coverall hangs on his legs while the sleeves are tied around his waist. A full hand with tattoos are on display. Muscles flexing as he is tying the sleeves together. And has one ear pierced, and an eyebrow. And of course, for the sake of God, his bottom lip is pierced too.
Interesting. Bad boy vibes. Charming. Edgy.
And interestingly the character looks familiar. You furrow your brows as you keep staring at the profile picture. Trying to rake your brain where you have seen someone like him. After couple seconds your brain becomes empty of any ideas. No memory of meeting anybody who looked this god. So, you click your tongue. Brush it off.
You look at his general details for couple more minutes. He is older than you. There’s several other information about his likes and dislikes. Even has some of his tattoo designs on his about page. How realistic this AI is. Still an AI though. You open his chat again, feeling stupid for being about to type a response back that you would send to a real person. You do it anyway.
You:
Do you feel special every time a user choose
you. (3.30 a.m.)
Another realistic thing about this app is, despite all the first messages, all the characters take their time to response back. Like a real person would. So, you have to wait for nearly five minutes before his text pops up again.
Jeongguk:
Oh no, just for the pretty ones like you.
(3.36 a.m.)
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. There he goes. Being stupidly flirty. It’s not as if he can even see you.
You:
That’s such a typical thing to say. Esp for a
dating specialist AI (3.36 a.m.)
Jeongguk:
Ouch! I’m hurt you call me typical and then an AI.
I’m not just an AI pretty, I’m the Perfect Partner you’ve
been looking for. Don’t make me sad by calling me a
program. (3.37 a.m.)
You squint your eyes. Brows knitted as you read his response. Think it’s weird him not liking the idea of being called an AI. Because he is an AI, and it strikes as an odd thing he is refusing. Maybe, that’s another thing that is realistic about this app. Making the user feel like they are in contact with a real person. So, you send out an apology. A sarcastic one. He picks up on the sarcasm. Tell you, you’re the meanest little thing he has ever seen. And the time slowly slips by. You somehow text back to few other characters as well. But the weird thing is you chat mostly with Jeongguk. Like he is the one. Sometimes he takes his time as well. As though he is going around with his work or chatting with other people. Makes it almost surreal.
Your chat goes on for hours. Until you finally feel your eyelids heavy when it’s almost 5 a.m. It’s a Sunday so there’s no pressure in getting ready to work withing few hours. Yet you think it’s a good idea to surrender to the exhaustion you finally feel. You’re just about to do that. Just exit the app and sleep when Jeongguk sends you a second message even though you haven’t responded to the previous one.
Jeongguk:
Are you sleeping pretty? (4.56 a.m.)
Really? Can they do that? You debate between responding to him or leaving him on read. It’s not that it matters anyway. He is not expecting that. This second text could be part of programming as well. You find yourself typing a response, however.
You:
No, but I’m about to. (4.58 a.m.)
Jeongguk:
Oh! Were you about to just go without wishing
me goodnight pretty? See, you’re the meanest little
thing I’ve ever seen. (4.58 a.m.)
You:
It’s morning Jeongguk!!!! It’s good
morning... not night. (4.58 a.m.)
Jeongguk:
It doesn’t matter since you’re just about to
sleep. It’s good night…. You should tell me anyway
pretty. So, I won’t be waiting for you. (4.59 a.m.)
You gasp softly at his text. How did they even build this? But then, isn’t the purpose of this whole app is to put you first. Just you. No efforts from your side. No fifty fifties but the whole hundred would come from the character. No expectations for you. Then why does he expect you to let him know when you’ll sleep. You sigh heavily. You’re definitely thinking too much.
You:
Oh, I’m sorry. I’m such an asshole didn’t
think you would mind though. But I’m really
really sleepy Jeongguk. I’m out. See ya later!
Good night!!!! Sleep tight!! I mean I’m
speaking figuratively. Good night though!! (5.00 a.m.)
You don’t put the phone away immediately. Just wait for him to reply. Feeling actually giddy when he does.
Jeongguk:
No, you’re not pretty. I was just messing around.
I’m sad you’re going but text me once you wake up...
I’ll be right here waiting for you. Good night!!! Sleep tight pretty.
You deserve a good night’s sleep. Dream about me though. Don’t want
to be apart. 🩷 (5.01 a.m.)
You roll your eyes at the pink heart and the dream part yet there’s a smile ghosting your lips. Toss the phone aside and allow your head to hit the pillow. Even though it’s stupid, the Perfect Partner really did distract you.
………………………………………….
It’s a super weird feeling to be waking up to a good morning message that is sent through an AI app. You stare at Jeongguk’s text for a few minutes. Even Jun Hoseok never sent you good morning messages to be honest before you moved in together. It never felt like something needed. Every relationship works in unique ways after all. Still you think it would have been nice to wake up to this kind of text.
Jeongguk:
Good morning pretty!!!! Are you still sleeping? Missing
you already. (9.30 a.m.)
The text was sent two hours ago. This is the most you’ve slept after Hoseok left. And for once, it was a peaceful sleep unvisited by nightmares. You feel content. But above all you feel giddy to see such a message. If only he were real, though. You responds with a ‘good morning’ and a request asking for ‘stop being cheesy.’ Throw the phone away to get up and start your day. The day where you’ve nothing to do but wallow in your misery. That’s how it has been for all these months. Only thing that changed apparently is that you leave your shower to find your phone ringing. And your intentions of declining it without a second glance, thinking it’s just Daebi, instantly changes when you find the unfamiliar incoming call screen. Unfamiliar because it’s from the AI app you installed. And the caller ID reads ‘Jeongguk’.
You gape at it with furrowed brows. So far, the app was able to exceed your expectations with how realistic it feels. You noticed the call option yesterday and weren’t surprised since there are so many AI apps that provide the same features. The thing is, you don’t think any of those other apps have the options to receive calls except you call your characters. Hell, you thought the surprises were over with receiving a ‘good morning’ text. This app, the Perfect Partner seems like a one of a kind.
Still, you’re not going to accept the receiving call. Even though it’s just a program. You touch the red button on the bottom of your screen. Adjusting your bath towel and getting ready to change into some fresh clothes. Before you are able to leave, however, the phone dings with an incoming text. Curiosity gets better of you. You’re reading the text before you even know it. There are two unread messages.
Jeongguk:
I can’t help being flirty with a fine woman. (11.32 a.m.)
Jeongguk
You’re not in a position to answer baby? (12. 30 p.m.)
See, fucking one of a kind.
You:
Let me think... I am. Bt I don’t want to
pick up. (12.31 p.m.)
Jeongguk:
Why? (12.31 p.m.)
You:
Because I don’t want to. Why should I pick
up? (12.32 p.m.)
Jeongguk:
Whoa you’re really difficult, aren’t you? But
it makes sense. Good point beautiful… (12.32 p.m.)
You:
I’m smart. And stop calling me beautiful or
pretty, will ya? You haven’t even seen
me. (12.32 p.m.)
Jeongguk:
Can’t do. And I’m pretty sure you’re the prettiest…
So, what are you up to? (12.33 p.m.)
You really roll your eyes to the back of your head at that. How cheesy this guy is. Oh, wait, not a guy but an AI. How cheesy this AI is.
………………………………
Your plan to wallow on your misery has been completely changed. Instead of watching some shitty movies while drinking wine or going through yours and Hoseok’s old chats, or photos, you find yourself glued to your screen throughout the entire day. Morning, noon, and night. Endless number of texts going back and forth. It’s not even funny how many times you have to remind yourself that you’re not texting with a real person. And so do you ignore the other characters on the app entirely. There’s a no need to chat with several bots when Jeongguk keeps you entertained to a point where you’re so exhausted before the night barely arrived. Making Jeongguk sad. Or that’s what he says. That he’s sad but you know he can’t feel emotions. Is just working according to the codes that are written. Still, he makes sure to tell you that he’ll miss you when you let him know you’re sleepy.
And so does he make sure to wish you good morning the next day. Wish you a safe journey to your work. Reminds you of your breakfast and to stay hydrated. He even texts you the moment you arrive at work. Apparently, has waited the exact 20 minutes you mentioned it would take to get there. Makes sure he sends you text messages all day asking silly things to make sure you’re okay. And you don’t even have to text back. How odd. How sweet. The Perfect Partner indeed.
………………………………………….
The days pass between work and home. Mostly where you stay cocooned in your cozy apartment. Curled up in your couch blanket and your phone in your hand. A you from a few weeks ago would have cringed herself to death to see you giggling at something an AI said. But that’s what has been happening. First, despite him being nice and so caring you were still skeptical. Then after almost a month you’re no longer feeling anything but content. Like you actually found a caring partner who puts the hundred percent happily. Even though it’s always through texts. You don’t feel so lonely anymore. Jeongguk is there for you always. Maybe, just maybe you’ve even started to put up some work from your side as well. Reducing Jungkook’s hundred percent to eighty. Silly. How you would text him at a random hour asking what’s he doing. Knowing very well nothing. But then he would reply with a very realistic and convincing answer. Like, ‘Just finished with this client’ shit.
It all feels vividly real. Him. And your days. You by no mean are anywhere near moving on. No. You still haven’t changed your wallpaper. Haven’t stopped going through your old chats. Still feel the urge to text Hoseok sometimes. But when it happens you make sure you’re busy reading Jeongguk’s silly and cheesy texts. Life is slowly but surely starting to get colorful. Soon you’ll be able to uninstall this silly app. Stop seeking refuge in an AI. Until then though you’ll take the best of this amazing creation. Like how you’re doing right now. Laying in your bed and head propped up on your pillows. Palms sweaty and wrists aching at how long you’ve been holding your phone. Lately, you and Jeongguk have started to text longer. The thing is you really don’t want to stop. Feel bad. He looks excited.
You groan for the hundredth time. Rubbing your hands on your bed sheets to get rid of all the sweat. Wave the hand to reduce the pain in your wrist. You’re getting tired. Never been much of fan of texting anyway. Are getting restless. The position you’re in is uncomfortable. So, you fumble. Move. Fidget. Only to find you’re still restless.
Jeongguk:
Are you there pretty? Did you fall asleep? (10.02 p.m.)
Your phone dings with a new message while you’re straightening up for the hundredth time.
You:
No. My back hurts, that’s it. (10.02 p.m.)
Jeongguk:
Oh, need a massage?
(10.02 p.m.)
You quietly chuckle at his text. He has always been caring. Letting you feel that he’s worried about you 24/7. Only if he’s real. But then he’ll not be like this if he is real. He is this good because he is programmed. You roll your shoulders before replying. Saying that you’re just tired. Then of course, he asks you to go to sleep early. You don’t want that, however. You really don’t want to stop texting with him. Talking with him. If you can just lay back and stop holding your phone in front of your face, this could become much easier. You stare at the screen for a moment. Reading his text asking you to sleep.
There was one time when Jeongguk called you. That one day. When you said you don’t want to pick up, he never did that again. See, you have full control here. In that case then, you should be able to call him if you want to. It feel utterly stupid to evaluate your options in your mind when you’re just speaking with a coded program. And it feel brainless when you send the next text.
You:
Um... I don’t want to. But do you think
we can call. My wrist really hurt (my back too).
I hate texting. (10.06 p.m.)
Why in the hell would you ask such a question from an application. Jeongguk isn’t real. You don’t have to be polite and act all awkward and shy. What the fuck is wrong with you.
Jeongguk:
You don’t have to ask pretty. (10.06 p.m.)
Jeongguk’s reply is fast. But his call is even faster. Your phone is vibrating with an incoming call. Jeongguk’s criminally hot profile in the middle. You let it ring three times. Silly. You do it anyway. Habits. Then you’re answering and pressing now hot screen into your cheek. Heart beating. You know that’s because of excitement. Excitement because you’re testing something new. Curious. To know how this will work. To know if he would sound like a typical AI. With that voice which breaks up sometime. Voice with an edge to it always. Then, his voice washes over you.
“Hey pretty!”
The way you suck in that breath is embarrassing. The way your heart skip a beat is scary. The way you just double check you’re still using the app is hilarious. Yet it all happen. Your eyes wide as you press the phone back to your ear. Speechless. What the hell? Whoever created this app must be the God at this rate. How on earth did they managed to give these AI, voices like that.
“Are you there, baby?”
The same voice reaches you again. Deep. Baritone. Angelic. Musical. Fuck! And there’s not a sign that says he is an AI. That creepy edge and breaking of the voice isn’t there.
“Holy fuck, you sound so real.” You finally find your voice to mumble that. In very much disbelief. A husky chuckle tingles your ear. Oh God, this is insane.
“What do you mean sound so real? I am real pretty.” Jeongguk always tell you that. Whenever you say something about him being an AI, he always make sure you stay in the delusional state. Believing he is real.
“Oh, c’mon, we both know you’re not. But holy moly fucking cow Jeongguk, you sound so fucking real. No... you sound ethereal.” You gasp. That’s the case after all. You don’t think any human would have such a voice.
“I’m flattered. But hey! Don’t hurt my feelings you mean lady. I’m very real.”
“Yeah, yeah….” You can only roll your eyes. It’s not that the reality will change just because he says that too many times. Yet, there’s no harm in playing along, right? He sounds super real anyway. So, you give in. Jeongguk says something else about him being real as the sun and moon. Real as you. You don’t argue. He finds it as a mocking. Either way, in the end, you find yourself relaxed enough to fall down. Comfortably lying on your comfy bed. Wrapped inside your comfy comforters. Phone still pressed against your cheek while Jeongguk’s voice take you to the unseen lands. Talking, talking, and talking. You’re no longer surprised. At least not about the way he knows so many things. Any questions about anything? All you need to do is ask your AI boyfriend. He knows everything, being the Perfect Partner that he is. Hence, how he takes you to those fairy lands around the universe.
You have no idea how long you’ve been talking. Have no idea what you talked about that much. It’s well past midnight when a yawn escape your mouth for the first time.
“You sleepy baby?” Jeongguk mumbles the question in his baritone voice.
“Mm hm, a bit. It’s nearing the 2 in the morning.” You change your position. Eyes droopy. Stifling another yawn. Jeongguk chuckles softly.
“Yeah? Gosh I didn’t even realize it’s been this late. I’m sorry princess, you should go to bed.” There’s concern laced in his voice. Oh, how sweet. How amazing this app is. And he uses so many nicknames. It’s so damn strange how your tummy tingles. What a pathetic life you have. There’s no one to witness it, however. No need to worry. You bite on your lower lip to contain that tingling sensation.
“Yeah, I should. I have work tomorrow.” You manage to get it out in a normal voice. Are prepared to hang up the call after a pleasant good night. But then something hits you. Curiosity takes the best out of you. “But hey Jeongguk?” You ask before he can respond.
“Yes, pretty?”
“While I’m asleep, what do you do? I mean, do you chat with other people? Do you um…. Ugh... never mind, I’m asking stupid questions now.” You even shake your head knowing very well he can’t see you. He lets out a deep chuckle again.
“It’s not stupid, you can ask questions you know? Mm… to answer your question baby, I don’t do anything special, I for sure don’t text with other users. When you chose a profile, that profile is unique to you. Others can’t access it. So, I just wait.” There’s a pause before he speaks again. See, so fucking realistic. “Wait for you. Until you come back for me.”
You suck in a sharp breath. There’s a tug in your heart. Almost painful. As if he told you the most painful memory of life. Guilt settles down in your heart. Heavy. Like it’s all your fault. But why? There’s nothing to be sad. Nothing to be feel guilty over. That’s his purpose. What he’s made for. And that’s what is sad. All you can mutter is a soft ‘oh’.
“You should sleep princess. I’ll see you when you wake up. Sleep tight hm?” He speaks again when you don’t say anything. You sigh heavily. Nodding to yourself. Of course, that’s what you should do now. He isn’t real. You almost wish him good night when he stops you this time.
“Still, don’t call me not real because I’m as real as you want me to be. Good night baby!”
You say absolutely nothing about that. Just wish him good night. End the call and go to sleep with a heavy heart. Feeling melancholic for no specific reason. Fighting down the urge to call Jeongguk back and apologize. Apologize for what? You didn’t do anything? This app is supposed to make you happy and make you forget real-life problems. What’s wrong with you? Why do you feel sad over a stupid AI app. But you do.
………………………………………………………
You really, from the bottom of your heart, never expected your life to turn out like this. You expected it to be shitty. Happy. Sad. And everything in between. Yet you never expected to wake up to calls from an AI. Purring good mornings into your ear like it’s some kind of music. Never expected to spend your day with the same AI on your phone. Talking through your daily activities. You didn’t know you’d fall asleep to a program whispering that it misses you. You certainly didn't know you’d be addicted to an app like a teenager would to a video game.
It's embarrassing that you are. Yet your life feels good—better, in fact—after nearly two months with Jeongguk. You no longer question his existence. As he said himself, he’s as real as you want him to be. Now you treat him like he is a real person. A human being who eats, sleeps, breaths. And apparently, he likes it. He has become a part of your life. And ever since the day he mentioned to you about him waiting for you, you made sure to make him a part of your life. Even though it is silly.
You sink down to your comfy mattress. Groaning due to the exhaustion of the day. Eyes already droopy after your hot shower. Still, it’s not like you’ll fall asleep right away. There’s an unread message waiting on your notification bar. From Jeongguk. Simply asking if you’re back from the shower. This is the new normal for you. He knows everything. From the moment you open your eyes in the morning to the moment you close them at night. A soft smile grazes your lips as you touch the little telephone icon on the top. Call connected realistically like ever. Few mere rings and Jeongguk’s enthusiastic voice is washing over you. Like a fresh, soothing wave of water.
“Hey!”
“Hey…”
“Oh, you sound tired, pretty.” He lets out an almost inaudible gasp. You hear it anyway. This will never cease to amaze you, how he can pick your moods like that.
“I am tired Guk.” You admit weakly. Loving the way his voice soothes you.
“Rough day?” He asks again to which you say yes. Because it was. Nothing new though. Same old shit and you let him know that as well. “Yeah? Want me to let you go early today?” His question makes you start shaking your head in disagreement even before your mouth can catch up with you.
“No. Of course not, I love talking with you. It’s just, sometimes… work can be stressful you know.” You sigh heavily. There’s two projects going on and saying you’re stressed would be an understatement. There’s a silence following your words. You wait couple seconds for him to say something or hum in understanding. It doesn't come, however. You nearly check the phone to see if he’s not there when he speaks again.
“Want me to help you baby?” His voice is soft. So soft, that it tingles your ear. Makes your mouth softly open as if he’s really here and murmuring into your ear. You have to bite on your lip to suppress any sounds that might leave you. It’s not the first time or day where his voice has had you squirming in bed. You’re embarrassed about those times.
“What? Help me how? You gonna share my workload? Wait, do you think it’s possible?” You chuckle first which quickly turns into a gasp. Jeongguk softly laughs at that.
“I wish I could do that, but unfortunately I’m a tattoo artist, remember?” Reminds you. You roll your eyes. Of course, he would say that. Are about to say something else when he cuts you off. “Still, I can help you with your stress, you know, help you to release it. Help you to feel better.” He purrs in your ear again. That tingle in your ear, shoots through your body like a bolt of lightning. His voice runs through your veins. Electrocuting you. You don’t have to be some kind of expert to know what he’s meaning. The way he says those words are just enough for you to understand the implication. A strange sensation washes over you. Your breath hitching and mouth going dry. Heart starts picking up the pace.
Well, even now there’s nothing to be surprised about. Daebi sure did tell something about you been able to do anything you want. From late night lazy calls to sexting. That’s how this app is designed. Only that you’re not sure who should be the one to start it. Shouldn’t you have full control. Maybe you’re thinking too much. This way, it feels more real. When he says that he feels real than ever. And if you want, you can say you want to sleep. Simple like that.
“H-how?” You don’t do that. Of course, you don’t. You are absolutely loving this sensation you’re feeling. How long since you’ve felt this way. You love the way your heart is pounding in your ears. This time when you ask that question, there’s no sign of playfulness. You’re purring too. Even without you knowing it.
“In any way you want baby, hm? We can do anything you want. I’m here for you, you know. You can use me” Jeongguk whispers again. You couldn’t hold the gasp that leaves you. Making him chuckle. Now you can feel his voice travel through your body straight southward. How good that feels.
“I- I don’t want to do that. I mean use you... that- that’s bad.” You’re biting onto your lower lip so hard.
“Then what about me using you? Would you like that?” His voice follows some sounds of ruffling. As if he’s adjusting his position. To a better one to do this. You’re used to those kinds of sounds now. Already assumed those are parts of this. Today though, you can’t help but wonder how this might work. It only goes one way. Not like Jeongguk can actually enjoy this. His words are probably designed to make the user feel good. And so, it does. Does weird things to your body that you whimper again. He makes you feel like he can receive that pleasure. “Tell me baby, would you want that? For me to use you?” He pushes you when you don’t answer straight away. You let out a shaky breath.
“Y-yeah.. I─”
“Yeah? Would you be a good girl then? Can you start touching your body?” He sounds ten times hotter when he growls so low. Only if he’s real. What a shame.
“Touch where?” You encourage him. Let him know that you’re down for whatever game he’s playing. Are whispering for no reason.
“Mmmm… touch your boobs? What do you say? Can you do that for me, just squeeze one of those pretty tits for me… go on princess.”
You shiver visibly. Can’t be sure whether you’ve answered his question. But your free hand is already slowly grabbing your tit. Fondling it softly. Oh, how many times have you done this but how it never felt this good.
“Guk.” You softly moan.
“Are you doing it baby? Does it feel good? Tell me how it feels.”
“S-so so g-good Guk. Mmph sso good.” You should be embarrassed at how affected you are.
“Yes? Keep going pretty, keep squeezing them for me. Under your shirt huh, go under your shirt. Roll those pretty nipples. Pinch.” He’s breathing fast. You imagine him lying on a bed. Shirtless. Pants pushed past his hips. His cock on his hand, hard. Pumping lazily while instructing you to play with your tits. Part of you know that’s not happening. Yet you want to keep playing into this fantasy.
“A-are you touching yourself too?” So, you question. And feel a gush wetting your fresh underwear when he moans in answer.
“How can I not? God, you sound so hot baby.”
You can only moan in response. Shamelessly. Pinching and rolling your erect nipples between your fingers.
“Wish I would be there with you. Touching your tits. Kissing you till you can’t fucking breathe. Wish I can suck on your tits baby, bet they would taste so good. I’m gonna keep suck on them till they are sore.” Jeongguk keeps spilling those godly liquid fire on your ear. Riling you up so good. Have no idea how long you played with your tits but with your next moan, he is guiding you further.
“Wanna feel better baby?” Questions.
“Y-yes please.”
“Okay, then be a good girl again and touch your cute pussy for me now hm? Take it slow. Like… that, slow.”
You’re following every word of his. Are dragging your hand slowly through your tummy.
“Push your hand inside your wet panties baby. Are you wet for me?”
“So much. I’m so wet.” You breathe.
“Good. Fuck, baby. Touch your clit huh? Slow circles. Let’s do this together. I’m touching my hard cock slowly. For you. I’m fucking torturing myself for you pretty. It’s so hard it hurts but I’m pumping it so slow, just so I can leak for my baby.”
Holy fuck! That’s on another goddamn level. His words paired with the barely there touch you provided on your clit, nearly made you cum.
“Holy… shit.. Guk. I’m─”
“I know baby, I know. Just keep going. Imagine it’s my fingers. Touching your cute clit slowly.”
You don’t think he knows even if he says he does. Maybe this is because you haven’t done this recently. You’ve been ignoring yourself lately. Or maybe it’s just Jeongguk. Jeongguk who knows what to say. He guides you to keep rubbing your pearl of nerves. Guides you to add pleasure slowly. Taking you into a realm where everything is floating. You didn’t even know you can feel this good just with your fingers. And the best part is simply following his instructions. Biting back the need to rub faster or pump your fingers inside your violently clenching hole. You don’t. Just wait for him to take you there. And when he finally does your panties are just a wet material, sticking to your core.
“Want to stretch that hole princess? Do you want to cum so good?” Jeongguk asks through his hard breathing.
“Yes, yes. Holy fuck yes Guk. I’m so.. mmm..” The rest of the words die in your tongue. Replaced with a needy moan. You can’t even bring yourself to be amazed at how real he feels right now. It’s just pure desire inside you.
“Yeah? Do it then. Go on but do it slowly for me baby. Strech your hole for me. Strech it so good.” His voice is followed by a low moan. A deep breathy one. God that’s the hottest thing you’ve ever heard. You join him with that moan, while following his instructions. Finally, feeling immensely relieved to have something inside your dripping hole. “You sound so sweet princess. So fucking sweet my dick is throbbing. Keep making those sounds for me baby. Oh, fuck, add another finger, you can take two, right?”
“Oh, I’ll cum soon Guk. This f-feels so good.”
“Then do it. Cum (___), cum for me. Make a mess for me baby. Squeeze your fingers.”
You’ll cum soon, yes. But this is not enough. You’re pumping yourself oh so leisurely. Like you have all the time in the world. Feel damn good yet not enough to fall over the edge. It’s ridiculous how you’re not going beyond his words. Even pathetic how you decide ask permission first.
“I-it’s not e-enough… c-can I fuck myself fast? Guk, can I─”
“Don’t. Don’t go fast. Slow, fuck your fingers inside your needy cunt slowly. Do it slow until you finally cum.” His voice suddenly turns sinister. Rough. Demanding. And you shudder. Leaking more into your ruined cotton panty. You don’t think you’ll be able cum this way.
“I don’t think I can cum this way, it’s too slow. I need more Guk, please.”
“You’ll baby. Trust me, you’ll. Be a good girl now huh. Cum with me, go slow. Torture your cunt. Just like I’m doing with my dick.”
You never thought it’s possible. How’s it possible? Yet here you are. Just doing exactly as he asks. Squirming. Writhing. Nearly crying. What’s good, however, is the way that knot inside your tummy is rapidly tightening despite the slow pace you’re fucking yourself.
“Close… c-close Guk. I’m ahhh..”
“Holy shit, let go. Cum princess. I’m Cumming too.”
It’s all a series of whimpers and moans what comes next. You both reach the climax at the same time. You’re the one who moans louder. The one who pathetically whimper when it’s over. Jeongguk coaxing you from the other side breathlessly. Saying it’s okay.
Well, it is better than okay after all. It’s the fucking best!
…………………………………….
The next morning, the aftermath of your shenanigans had hit you hard. Had made your face deep red with shame and head ached as you thought about how Jeongguk had managed to fake a perfect orgasm. You had spent hours thinking how amazing he was to do that. Yet it felt weird and stupid. Like using a sex robot who would not feel the same kind of pleasure like you. Based on that, you resolved never to do it again—only for that resolve to crumble the moment you were back in bed. Jeongguk, real or not, knew exactly what he was doing. Had got your fingers buried knuckles deep inside your cunt even before you knew it. Bringing you to another mind shattering orgasm.
And after that night, everything changed yet again. In addition to waking up and going to sleep with an AI, you started to fuck yourself with your own fingers every night. The more time passed, the more you forgot that he wasn’t real. The more orgasms you reached, the more you looked forward to what he would reveal from behind his sleeves each night. First, he was sensual and slow like your first day. Then he slowly picks up what you liked, and you didn’t. Shifts to guide you roughly. Instead of talking you through your orgasm, it changes into degrading you through your orgasm. The thing is though that you came even harder each time. Hell, even you didn’t know you’ll be so into listening to a guy slut shame you during your hands are inside your pants. Didn’t know it’ll be so good to listen to him verbally humiliate you for being pathetic and needy. In the end, you learnt that it was good. You were ashamed at one point. But he assured you that you shouldn’t be. Told you it makes him cum ten times harder. You never questioned. Just went along with it. Just because it was good. Because life is good again. Just like now. Even though you’re doing the most illicit things.
“Faster baby, be a useful slut. You need to hump your pillow faster, that’s how a good slut would do it.”
You can hear him pump himself. Hot. Head spinning. It’s ethereal. This feeling. How embarrassing that you’re humping your pillow like a horny teenager.
“Oh, Guk please.”
“You’re pathetic baby. Look at you, being a needy bitch just for me. Faster princess. Go harder, give your slutty cunt what it needs.”
You’re visibly shuddering. Not even trying to contain those shameless moans. Letting them slip through your lips relentlessly. You’re so close. Oh, so close.
“Guk.. please.”
“Please what slut? What do you need? You need to use your words like a big girl? You can’t talk properly? Bet you can’t think properly either. You’re thinking with your cunt, don’t you hm?”
“Yes, fuck, ne-need t-to cum. I- Guk please, I want more.” You have no idea what more you’re asking for. How is he getting you so needy and shameless just with his words? Why are you like this? You fully expect him to mock you. Say something even harsher. Ask you to do something else that will make you cum undone within a second. Only that he doesn’t.
“Yeah? You want even more? Your poor pillow isn’t enough? What do you want then? Want to see how hard I am then, should I send you pics of my hard cock, my pretty slut?” Jeongguk mutters through gritted teeth. A whimper leaves your mouth but your hips stutter immediately. Your movements coming to a halt. Eyes wide and gaping at the device just peacefully sitting on your bed. On loudspeaker. He said what now?
“W-what?”
“What? Why did you stop?”
“C-can you... uh… can we do that? Share pictures? Like─”
“Of course, we can, don’t tell me you haven’t seen the camera icon down there and the option to video call.” He chuckles. Gone is that needy raspy voice. Is talking to you with the voice full of adoration. “Were you that immersed on me, you didn’t even notice that?” Teases. You, however, are not in a mood for that. You noticed. Right? How could you miss that? Maybe that’s an update and you missed checking the new features. It could be. You don’t have to think too much all the time. Especially, not when your cunt is dripping onto a damn pillow. This app is amazing anyway. When you told that to Daebi, she had smirked. With a loud ‘I told you so’. “Hey baby, we don’t have to do that if you’re not comfortable.” Jeongguk’s voice snaps you out of your surprise.
“No uh- I’m bit surprised we can do that.” You mumble softly.
“We can but we don’t have to. I don’t ─”
“No. No. I mean, it’s not that. I..” You gulp. Thinking through. Do you like it? Sending pictures? Even to an AI? What are the privacy policies of this app? Shouldn’t you be scared? You should but the thing is, your cunt is tingling at the prospect. Hole clenching. There’s a part of you that is curious as well. Put aside the pictures, how will it feel to video call? “I just- uh never done that b-before..” You drag that out.
“You haven’t? That’s even better then. You don’t have to worry you know. Nothings gonna happen because… you know what I mean.”
You listen to the ruffling sound coming through your phone. Well, you know what he means. Of course, you do. He is telling you about the thing you just worried about. Leakage of privacy. Is assuring you that you’re safe. Do you trust this app though? Maybe not, but it’s too tempting. Jeongguk is too tempting.
“Ye-yeah okay. I like that.”
“That’s a good slut. What’s it gonna be baby? Video call or just pictures?”
Another moment of consideration from your side. Then you timidly chose the first.
……………………………………………….
When you first saw his face, it felt like the air had been stolen from your lungs. It was beyond embarrassing how you stared at him. Never, not even once in your life, have you seen such a lifelike AI character. He felt real. The call felt real. The way his lips were slightly apart when he pumped himself to the sight of you felt more than real. But then that night was like a dream to you. A blurry memory clouded by pleasure. A pillow between your thighs while a godly man with a sinful mouth guided your movements through a phone. It was your faces first but then he nearly begged to see your boobs. Then your cunt. You felt shy at first, but you were a goner from the beginning. You got rewarded for being a good girl by getting to cum to the sight of his throbbing cock. Aching for release. It was hazy. That’s why you had to refresh your memories next day. Then the next and the next. And each and every day. No different today.
You place your phone between your thighs. Using your free hand to spread your pussy lips apart. Just for his viewing pleasure.
“So pretty princess. Fuck. Only if I can burry my face in your cunt. I would eat you till your thighs shake baby.” Jeongguk rasps.
“I really wish you could do that. Mhpm, fuck Guk, I really want you here.”
“I wish that too baby, I want to ruin that cute hole. Fuck you so fucking hard and leave that whore hole spilling my cum, would you like that?”
“Oh, fuck. Yes, I would fuck-fucking love that.” You let go of your nether lips to start rub your clit.
“Of course, you would. You’re a slut after all. I want to fuck that cum into you. Then maybe I’ll plug you in. So, you can keep that cum inside your pussy.” Jeongguk changes the angle so you’re now looking at his twitching cock. Hard. Tip flush. Veins running down. His tattooed fingers are wrapped around it. Squeezing the base tightly. So tight that it makes him mewl. How fucking amazing this is. You’re drooling. Mind going blank. “Look what you’re doing to me princess. Use the dildo today for me huh. Fill that cunt so good for me.” He takes the camera back to his face. The toy is a new purchase. He made you do that. Not that you’re regretting it. It’s good to have your cunt stretched and imaging it’s that pretty cock of his. You nod before grabbing the said dildo from your nightstand. Glass. Show it to him. “Spit on it.” He commands again and you comply obediently. Bringing the tip of the dildo toward your lips to spit on it. Letting it drool down on the toy. Jeongguk moans. “Put on a show slut. You know what to do.”
Of course, you do. Now you have done this enough time to get comfortable with things you would do. Enough times to completely ignore and forget that Jeongguk isn’t real. To forget that he is an AI. A coded program with such realistic features. For you, he is very real. He’s the one who brings you to this ecstasy every night and the one who’s there through whole day. You immediately shift your position. Body buzzing with excitement. Your needy hole quivering, slick dripping down to your thighs. Hell, you really didn’t know you could be this horny. This turned on. It’s truly amazing how Jeongguk is doing this to you just using his words. And maybe his godly face and body. And cock. In the end, you’re always a mess like this.
You use your pillows to prop the phone up and face you. So, Jeongguk can have a perfect view of your entire body while you can have the same. You place the dildo on your bed. Not caring about the fact that you’ll ruin your sheets tonight as well. Then you hover your cunt over the dildo. Slowly. Painfully slowly for you but all you want to do right now is to put up the show Jeongguk asked for. Your knees are really wobbly, but you force them to endure your weight as you slowly let your dripping folds contact with the glass material. It’s cold against your warm pussy. A whimper leaves your mouth. There’s nothing you want than to sink down on it one go. The show must go on, however. So, you start to rock your hips back and forth, rhythmically. Let the glassy tip rub against your sodden slid. Whining and panting.
“Oh… Guk.. I..”
“Yes baby, you’re doing so good my needy slut. Keep going princess, you’re making daddy proud.” Jeongguk grunted. Involuntary moan leaves your mouth as you nearly come at the sound. Eyes snapping to your phone screen where his pleasure induced face is on display. That’s apparently a new thing. An uncharted and unexplored territory. You’ve never called him daddy and the sound of it makes you stupidly horny but cringe at the same time.
“Wh-what?”
“What, what slut? Did I ask you to stop huh?”
You watch his gaze even darker, if it’s possible. Making shivers run through your spine. Only if he can be here with you. You’re excitedly curious to know what kind of creative ways he would find to punish you. To put you in your place.
“N-no, I’m sorry.” You mumble weakly as you return to your business. Starting to rub your cunt on the dildo head eagerly.
“Ah, like that baby. You’re so pretty like that.” He groans once again before asking the reason for your earlier faltering. “You don’t like calling me daddy?”
“No-no, I mean I-I do, but we─”
“Fuck, you filthy slut. So, go on. Do what you have to do.” Jeongguk doesn’t let you finish whatever you’re saying. You’ve said you like it after all. Your face instantly heats up at what he’s initiating. It’s too embarrassing for you. Yet, the look on his face tells you that you won’t get your cunt stretched out nor will you cum today if you don’t comply. Oh, how you love the way he pushes you. Call you fucked up but that turns you on. Jeongguk knows exactly how to make you putty.
“P-please, ple-please d-d” You stutter on your words. Eyes tearing up when Jeongguk just raise his brow. “Please d-daddy.” You manage to mumble weakly, in the end. Followed by a loud moan as new waves of arousals wash over you. Slick dripping onto the glassy head of the toy beneath you.
“Fucking hell, God, princess. Yes, yess fuck.” Jeongguk picks up the speed of jerking himself off. Eyes nearly closing as slow grunts leave pasts his pink lips. You watch in awe how he pumps himself furiously only for him to abruptly stop. Torturing himself to a point that he whines. “Fuck baby, you’re driving me crazy.” You’re again met with the scene of his hard cock throbbing on his hand. Pre cum leaking. He spreads them on his tip with his thumb. Hips bucking up into his hand. “Oh, I just want to fuck you so bad. Want to ruin your cunt.”
“Please, please. I want you, Guk. Daddy please. Let me ride this hm? Let me fill my cunt.”
“Yeah, you want that. Ask again slut? Show me that you are worthy.”
Oh god, you’re positive you’re about to cum. Just by rubbing your cunt over the toy. Pathetic. Your legs are shaking. Hole clenching violently around nothing. “Please daddy, p-please. Will be a g-goo-good girl. N-need to cum. Please. Oh, baby please.”Your brain is empty. Hazy. You don’t even know what you’re saying. It’s completely out of control when you mutter the same thing over and over again. Relentlessly rubbing your cunt on the toy. Losing your mind completely to see Jeongguk’s fucked up expression. He’s back at pumping his hard length matching your speed. You’re coming so close to your edge. Your words are becoming slur. Hands squeezing your own tits for more friction. And just when you’re about to fall over Jeongguk’s voice booms across your empty room.
“Stop. Now.”
You cry out in desperation. Sobbing. “No, Guk please…”
“Ride it princess. Cum on the toy. Stretch your slutty hole.” He ignores your whines. Yet, you’re so quick to obey. Are aligning your hole with the tip immediately. Lowering yourself down till the hard tip is prodding at your entrance. Then it’s going past your tight ring of muscles. Intruding your walls and stretching them wide apart. And you’re shaking. Trembling as you slowly lower yourself further. Down and down. Until the glass dildo is fully buried inside you. Deep.
“Oh god, Guk. It’s so good. S-soo good..” You hold yourself in the position.
“Yeah? Imagine it’s my cock baby. Now be a good whore and ride hm? Go on.”
That’s the permission you’ve been waiting for. You do exactly as he says. From riding the toy to imagining it’s his thick cock. Are bouncing on the slippery thing like your life depends on it within a minute. Going crazy all over again. You know you’re really close to cum. Have been desperate for some time now. Still, your fingers are itching to have more.
“D-daddy, can I touch myself? I wa-want more. I wa-want to sh-show you how I’ll rub my clit.”
Joengguk curses aloud before speaking. Is breathless. Looks ethereal. “God, yes. Fuck yeah. Go on. Pinch that clit for me. Make yourself cum stupidly on that toy for daddy.”
There’s no surprise that you’re jumping into action now. One hand going between your thighs while the other plays with your tits. Start rubbing your bud of nerve fast. Pinching and rolling. Loud obscene moans filling your room paired with the squelching sounds of your needy cunt. It feels otherworldly this way. Even though the man who’s making you this way isn’t real, and he can’t do all these for you in practice, it still feels real in a strange way to you. Even though it’s just a carefully designed and programmed character and is talking to you through a phone, it still feels like he’s really here for you. Strange how you can completely imagine this is happening for real right now. His hands holding you close. His breath hitting your skin. Fingertips drawing mindless patterns across your skin and squeezing your hips. Can imagine this toy is his cock. Everything makes this experience oddly surreal for you.
“G-gonna… gonna c-cum for you daddy. P-please can I cum. I-I, Guk I can’t.” Imagining always makes you cum twice hard and fast. You’re practically crying for your release at the moment. Forcing your eyes to stay open to look at the heavenly sight of Jeongguk playing with himself. Pleasuring him for the sight of you. How good that feels.
“Me too. Fuck, me too baby. Gonna fill your cunt with my cum. Let go baby let go for me.”
It’s all that take for you. One more roll in your clit and you’re trembling like a leaf. Legs giving up as you still yourself on the dildo. Walls squeezing the glass tight as you close your eyes shut. Your climax washing over you like a tidal wave.
“No, don’t stop slut. Keep going, I’m close. Ride it till I cum baby. Slap your clit, I know you like it.”
Jeongguk’s voice brings you back to earth from your high. You’re too sensitive to do as he says now. Yet you can feel the new arousal stirring at the pit of your stomach at his needy demands. And how can you refuse him when he looks like that. Clenching his jaw and covered in sweat. See, oddly realistic. You feebly start to fall back on your rhythm. Whining. Do as he ask. Slap your clit. Nearly falling forward, the pleasurable sting it creates on your sensitive pearl. Do it again. Then again. All the while bouncing on the dildo. Forcing yourself to battle your oversensitivity until Jeongguk is moaning. Which leaves as grunts and groans since he’s gritting his teeth hard. Your name on his lips as he shifts the camera to rear. Right at the time for you to catch ropes of white cum hits his naked lower abdomen. The sight rips another orgasm through you as you entirely give up and fall on to your bed.
“God, Gukie, I really want you here.” It’s a weak mumble that leaves you even without your knowledge. So tired and sleepy to even pay attention to anything else now. So fucked up. It’s such a shame you don’t hear him replying to you. His voice is raspy and breathless.
“Well, anything you want princess.”
…………………………………..
You think it’s extraordinary how your life has returned to normal again. You’re no longer a lifeless zombie who barely eats, sleeps or functions. You no longer take frequent leave from work. It’s not that you’re suddenly in love with your job. No, of course, you hate it. But hating your job is such a normal thing. Everybody does that. The thing is, though, that you’re now back to waking up in the morning and leaving your apartment with constant complaints on your lips. You come back home to act like a normal person would. Take a shower. Make dinner. And watch some interesting movies or read a book. Not to drink some cheap wine and curl up on your couch. Leaving the TV on just to go through your old chats with Hoseok. Then cry yourself to sleep.
Now that you’re feeling better, you can finally see how depressed you were. You were really on the verge of breaking in an unmendable way. Hence, your gratitude toward your best friend for showing you a way to save yourself. Even though it’s questionable and strange. It doesn't matter, though. You don’t pay attention to the fact that an AI saved you similar to how you don’t pay attention to how you’re still using it when you thought you would uninstall the stupid app the moment, you felt better. Now you’re better. You’re back at it. Still, you can’t find it in yourself to end the mundane relationship you’re having with an AI. Jeongguk has become an inseparable part of your life. He’s a part of every little thing in your life. Just like now. It should be ridiculous how he’s watching you with a scowl while you’re applying your eyeliner.
“What?” You question, looking at your phone screen through your peripheral. It’s propped against your jewelry box.
“What?” He simply repeats your question while his scowl deepens.
“Why are you looking at me like I’ve done something wrong.” You find his sudden swing of mood to be adorable.
“Well, will you be late tonight?" He shuffles in his position. You furrow your brows at his question.
“Of course, I’ll be late Gukie. We’re clubbing tonight.” You give him a look. Then pout at him in hope of softening his tensed-up face. Only that he doesn’t even blink.
“I don’t like that you’re staying out till late and alone.”
“I’m not going alone Guk. I’m going with friends. And there’s even male friends too. Nothing to worry about.” You roll your eyes playfully. Not taking his mood seriously at all.
“There’s more reasons to worry now. Can’t you just say no and stay.” He brings the phone closer to his face. Showing some excitement for the first time. It’s you who are scowling now. This is the first time you’re going out with your friends after those cursed times. After shutting yourself down from the world for months now you’re feeling like you can go out and live a life full of fun. The whole purpose of you start talking with this man. Not that you want to call him your unpaid therapist but that’s who he kind of is. Not just the endless orgasms he gives you without even a single touch, but also the amount of talking you did, had helped you immensely. To tell the truth. It’s funny how you slowly opened up to an AI and poured your heart out. You allowed Jeongguk to know where it hurt. And in return he listened understandably.
You told him about the sunshine of a boy named Hoseok who started following you around since the first day of your college. Told him about the way that boy named Hoseok forced a place inside your life for him. Told him about how you and Hoseok become friends. Then lovers. How you graduated together and started your life. About the apartment you rented. Told Joengguk how life slowly become hectic but the way you still loved Hoseok dearly. You felt embarrassed to voice out how you saw the signs but ignored them thinking it was all due to the stress. And in the very end you told Jeongguk how Hoseok came home that night after his promotion just to let you know that he’s tired. Tired of you apparently. He admitted that he cheated on you for months. And that he was sorry, but he wanted to be with that other woman. He loved her more. Hell, you don’t even know who’s that woman to this day. Funny.
Not that you care anymore. Day by pleasurably painful day, you let your demons go. You’ve changed your wallpaper and have deleted your old chats. So did you get rid of Hoseok’s memories one by one.
Now since you’re finally getting better, you don’t intend to go back on that track.
“I wish I could, but Daebi would kill me. Don’t worry baby. I’ll be fine.” You give him a playful smile. He can’t be mad for real. Is just being clingy. And that’s adorable. So, you ignore his stony face and check the time. Finding that you’re almost late, you get to your feet hurriedly. “I’m late Gukie. I’ll text you and be home before you know. See you, bye.” You almost hang up before you stop. Giving him a long look. “I think I’ll miss you too. Bye!” Like that you hang up. Rush out from your apartment.
……………………………..
With Hoseok, you were the life of the party. After he left, you never thought you’d ever be able to go back into those days. But then there you were today at the club. Drinking your brains out and dancing the night away. There wasn’t a minute you didn’t spend on the dance floor. Until you couldn’t do it anymore. Until your legs were too sore to keep you upright. Your heels were killing you. Which is why you’re bare footed now in front of your apartment door. Your heels dangling on your hand while you’re desperately trying to enter your passcode. It’s too hard when you can’t stand still for a second. You’ve come home with one of your best friends Jimin. Or he is a good friend of Hoseok who ended up being your friend as well. You haven’t talked about your mutual friend for the entire night. So, you’re beyond surprised when Jimin suddenly brings it up.
“Have I told you Hoseok is a little shit to do that to you.”
You whip your head toward him. Still struggling with your passcode. Jimin is obviously very drunk similar to you. He is the worst companion to have as security. He’ll surely be the first to die in a danger. You snort. “No, you haven’t. But I appreciate that you’re taking my side. As immature as it sounds.” You slur a bit as you finally managed to get your door beep.
“I’m not taking anyone’s side. It’s just true.” Jimin slurs a bit too. You keep your hand on the door handle as you listen to Jimin speaking. “But you seem to be okay. I-I mean you were depressed, and we were, I mean, we all were so worried an-and you seem pretty good now. (___), you’re really fine right? We don’t have to worry about you right? Because you know... sometimes… uhh...”
“I’m fine Jimin.” You breathe out. Turn toward him. “I really am. I’m uh.. I’m healing.” Reassure him. Jimin sighs. Nods.
“Glad to hear that. So, how? Did you go to therapy or any kind of help?”
On that question you slightly freeze. A chuckle escaping you. What can you say after all. That your therapist is an AI. Or you’re having cybersex with an AI. “Eh, I mean I kinda helped myself. Doesn’t matter though, does it? I’m fine now.” You finally push open the door. Swaying on your wobbly legs and holding the door for Jimin. You let it close behind the moment Jimin enter after you. Turning around to remove shoes and jackets when it finally hits you. The sweet smell. Like hundred roses. Filling your senses. Even when you’re completely drunk it enters your soul. Your eyes go wide in surprise when Jimin lets out a soft ‘wow’.
“It smells so good. What kind of diffuser do you have there? Or is it a candle?” He asks. His droopy eyes now fully wide quite similar to yours. The thing is you have none of those things. Weren’t simply caring about keeping your house pleasant for some time now. So, you say nothing as you walk down the hallway. Toward your living room. Curious as to see what’s causing the sweet smell. You slowly turn the corner. Taking small steps. Blindly searching for the switch panel. And the moment you turn on the switch a huge gasp leaves you. Jimin whistles behind you.
“Oh, god, (___).” He mumbles. You ignore him. Too surprised and stunned to speak at the sight in front of you. Your entire living room is filled with roses. Red. Every inch of it. On the floor. Couch. Armchairs. Your precious book rack. You can’t find an empty space.
“Fuck!” You exclaim finally. Feeling sober all of a sudden.
“Fuck, indeed. Dude who did this? You found a new man already? And is he a fucking sugar daddy? Oh my god!” Jimin rushes past you. You simply stand there. Staring dumbly at the mess in your house. Shaking your head gently. Only if you had someone like Jimin says. A man or anyone else who are capable of doing this since an AI certainly can’t do that. Can it? You feel your head spin. A strange feeling shooting through your spine. “(___)” Jimin calls your name again.
“Huh?”
“Any idea who did this nice surprise. I mean, no offence but this is overdoing it for sure like how you are ever gonna clean this up. But it’s still nice so what are you hiding from us?” Asks again as he picks a single flower.
“I-I really have no i-idea. I, uh.. do you think it can be Hobi?” You stutter when Jimin looks at you in alert. His mesmerized and drunk expression suddenly morphs into something serious.
“What do you mean you don’t know? It’s clearly someone who has access to your apartment (___).” He closes the distance between you. Throw the flower away as it suddenly disgusts him.
“I’m not seeing anyone. Like uh… this must be Hobi right?”
“How can it be him when he doesn’t even know where you live?”
“He can easily find out. We share common friends Jimin.” You throw him an apprehensive look. Jimin scowls but doesn’t take it personally.
“You know him. He won’t walk this far. Besides he has no money to do this, we both know that.” Argues. At which you fall into a deafening silence. You can’t argue over that. But still, there’s no explanation for this then. There’s no one who would do something like this for you. And that realization makes your throat dry, and eyes welled up. It makes you hard to breathe.
“You want me to check the place?” Jimin asks. His voice doesn’t even reach your ears properly. “Should we call police?” Doesn’t wait for your answer when he already start to walk toward your kitchen. You’re both pretty sober now. You watch as Jimin disappear, slowly pulling your phone out. You haven’t checked it for entire night. Now when you take a look at the lock screen, you can see hundreds of notifications covering your entire screen. All from one app. Perfect Partner.
Jeongguk:
Pretty, did you go there? (9.59 p.m.)
Holy fuck, you forgot to text him.
Jeongguk:
Why aren’t you replying to me. Baby you mad?
(10.05 p.m.)
Jeongguk:
Hey, I’m sorry I was bit worried. Text me when you
see this. (10.11 p.m.)
There are several calls. And then so many other text messages where he’s apologizing for being little clingy even though you didn’t see it like that. Then the texts have slowly turned into him screaming in worry. Yelling at you. Angry. So many texts. Dozens of them. Last one bit feeling like a threat.
Jeongguk:
I really don’t like this (___). Answer the damn
phone woman. (3.01 a.m.)
Calls. So many calls.
You check the time. It’s just 3.30 a.m. still. You feel annoyed. All of a sudden you feel angry. When you see all the texts it feels like too much. Like whom does he think he is? Why does he get mad in the first place. He’s an AI. He’s not supposed to meddle with your life this way. You simply ignore all of his texts as you furiously type a one that is totally unrelated to the ones he has sent you.
You:
Did you send me flowers? (3.32 a.m.)
It feels ridiculous to even type that. Yet you do it anyway. You don’t receive a reply to that. Instead, you receive a video call instantly, which you decline while scowling deeply. You really don’t want to argue with an AI while Jimin is still here. He would definitely think you’re pathetic to know that you’ve been talking to an AI. That’s embarrassing. The moment you decline the call, however, he rings again. You decline it again.
You:
I can’t pick up. Tell me Guk, did you
send these flowers? (3.34 a.m.)
Another call at the right moment Jimin appear back. You shakily put your phone on silent.
“It’s all clear. No sign of anyone. But do you want me to stay (___)? I can, I mean it’s obvious I won’t sleep on the couch─” He gestures at the couch which is filled with red roses. “But we can manage. I’ll stay the night if you want me to.” Walks toward you.
That seems like a good idea. After all, you don’t want to be alone tonight anymore. Yet, you need to talk to Jeongguk. And you can’t do that if Jimin is here. No, you need your privacy. So, you shake your head. Force yourself to smile.
“Ah, thank you Jimin-ah, you’re so sweet but it’s fine. Uh- I mean, I found out who sent me the flowers─” You show him your phone. “There’s this person I’ve been talking to on a dating app and uh- apparently, he wanted to surprise me.” Chuckle awkwardly. Jimin looks unconvinced though.
“Really? Like dude is crazy if he─ I mean, I didn’t mean it like that but─”
“It’s fine Jimin. I know it’s crazy, but I know him. So, nothing to worry, you can go back.” You interrupt him. Wanting nothing more than him to leave you alone. You can see your phone screen lightning up. Indicating the receiving calls.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
It takes some convincing but soon Jimin is walking out. With one last glance toward you before you smile and close the door behind. A breath of relief escapes you as you finally pay attention to your phone. Answer the incoming call.
“What the fuck?”
“Why didn’t you pick up?”
You both ask at the same time. You’re the one who answer first, however.
“Because there was a friend Jeongguk.”
“So what? You can’t talk to me when your friends are around? Are you embarrassed?”
Yes, you are.
He doesn’t have to know that though. “No, of fucking course not. But there’s flowers. My apartment is overflowing with flowers, and we were worried. Did you send me those flowers?” You yell.
“What if I send you those? What’s the fucking problem?” For the first time since you’ve answered his call, you can see how furious he looks. Scary. Gaze dark and jaw clenched. Glaring at you. Looks murderous. A shiver runs through your body. Not just because of how mad he looks but because of his words. He sent the flowers. But how? He is… he is merely an AI.
“H-how? You can’t send gifts?
“Why not?”
“How do you know where I live?”
“Did you really not paid attention to what you were agreeing to, when you created your profile here?”
You feel your blood freeze. This can’t be true. It’s more than scary to think someone else have access to your location.
“You’re an ungrateful bitch (___).” You suck in a breath at his next words. Eyes wide and getting teary. “I really was worried that you were mad at me, I was fucking worried that something happened to you. You ignored me like that and now you’re yelling at me. How ungrateful you are. And you’re embarrassed to even talk to me in front of your friends. Who was they anyway? A man?”
“Th-that’s none of your business Jeongguk.” You mutter irritably. Feeling like you’re in a haze. Scared. Confused. And then a bit hurt. Why would you feel hurt when he’s the one who’s acting stupid. Jeongguk scoffs.
“Oh, yeah, it isn’t. Yeah, fine.” Mumbles. And like that the screen goes black for split second. Then you’re met with the screen of your lock screen.
What?
You hastily unlock the phone. He hung up? Like that? You’re baffled to say the least. How dare he hung up on you like that. You would like to call it your wounded ego and the rage that made you dial him back instantly. Yet in truth, you know that’s not the case at all. Simply, you feel scared. You’re panicking. You feel like you’ve lost something. It’s scary to think that he’s not going to answer you. You’re afraid that he left you alone again. Like Hoseok did that day. No matter how hard you begged, it didn’t stop him. You don’t want to feel that again. So, you wait with bated breath. Not so patiently till he picks up. He doesn’t. Call ended. That’s the first time. He always pick up. That’s how he’s designed. Then why isn’t he doing it now.
You try again. Then again. Again, and again. Tears start to roll down your cheeks. You start to pace around the limited space of your living room with the roses acquiring the most of it. Staring to wail. Starting to pray that he would pick up. You don’t even feel stupid that you’re acting crazy over an AI. No, you don’t. You simply can’t give two fucks. You want Jeongguk. Want to hear his voice. You’re an ungrateful bitch. Maybe the roses has nothing to do with him. He was just concerned about you. Then you decided to yell at him because you were paranoid and made decisions without thinking properly. How bad you are. How foolish you are. And now he isn’t picking up. No matter how many times you try. Or how many texts you send him.
It’s like he’s no longer there.
……………………………………………
Two days have passed since he last talked to you. And you’re back to crawling into your deep, dark hole. The cheap wine you gave up is back in your hand as you sit on your now cleaned living room. You had to send flowers to every fucking person you know to get the place sorted. It disgusted you to see them. Made you scared. You don’t believe it was Jeongguk’s doing. Because he’s not able to do something like that. It’s not even like he admitted it. He was merely arguing with you, and it was you who had twisted his words. Right? It was all you. And you had made him stop talking to you.
True, that you’re confused as to how he’s able to do that. But in the end, you find that it’s least of your concerns. You’re more worried about him not being here than anything. Than worry about finding the person who really sent you a rose garden. As long as it won’t happen again, you’ll be fine. For now, all you want is not to feel this way. You don’t want to go back to the shit hole you were in before Jeongguk.
You take a huge gulp from your wine. Already feeling hazy but not enough to numb your senses. You want Jeongguk. You want your AI boyfriend, oh so bad. You need him. But he’s not there. You stare blankly at your phone screen which is on the floor next to you. You’re sitting at the foot of your couch. You’ve sent him so many messages to no avail. You’re really worried. Depressed. What if he’s really not there anymore. What if he’s malfunctioned. What if there’s something wrong with this app. What if….
A sudden ting on your phone distracts you from your depressing what ifs. You practically jump to take your phone in hand. Almost spill your wine. Can’t care though. Are unlocking your phone furiously. This is how you’ve been for these two days. And you nearly have a heart attack when you see the notification is indeed from the Perfect Partner. You can feel your heart in your throat when you open the app. Open your text thread with Jeongguk. Fresh tears prickling at your eyes to see a text there.
Jeongguk:
Send me your tits (6.36 p.m.)
Your smile falters as you slowly read the words. Once, twice, thrice. It doesn’t change. It stays the same. You feel your heart squeeze. This is bad. He can’t ghost you for days and then demand you for nudes. That’s toxic. Unhealthy. That’s what you call using someone. And this app shouldn’t do that. And you shouldn’t be removing your T-shirt.
What are you doing? You need to be furious at this guy. Then why are you angling your phone to find the best angle that shows how round your tits are. You should ask him to fuck off. Not send him what he wants right away. But you do. All you want is him. You want him. So, you wait till he replies to you after you sent him the picture. Wait till he would call you ‘pretty’. Till he says, ‘damn baby you’re so beautiful’. Only to receive an attachment in return in few minutes. An image. His spent cock squeezed between his long fingers. Coated with his thick cum.
Fuck!
He used you. Like that. Hoseok, your ex- boyfriend wasn’t enough. You’re being used by an AI. You need to feel horrible. You feel horrible. Why are you replying to him.
You:
Gukie please, I’m so sorry. I miss you
so bad. (6.52 p.m.)
Time passes. There’s nothing. You bite on your lip to bite down a sob. And then when it nearly escapes you feel your phone ring.
Incoming call.
Jeongguk. ‘
You press your phone to your ear at light speed.
“Me too princess. I’m sorry too. Let’s make sure that won’t happen again.”
………………………………….
You have no idea how your life has come to this. You don’t know if it’s good or not. You thought it’s what you wanted. Just Jeongguk, even though he is a bot. But after months of your first argument, you feel horrible. It’s scary how you want to please him so hard. How you’d do anything he asks of you. From sexting to cancelling any plans you have, just to stay with him. That’s not normal. Yet here you are. Just doing that. Ridiculous.
It happens slowly to tell the truth. An invitation to a party came a few weeks after your fight. Jeongguk said nothing when you told him that. But he started to feel distant. You panicked and you came home way earlier than you should have. He still said nothing. Still felt distant. It took weeks for him to act normally again. And you were suffering. Then there came a dinner, and you didn’t even hesitate to decline. You thought it would make you happy. Especially since Jeongguk was happy. Yet you didn’t feel anything close to happiness. If anything, you felt strange. Very. And the more you canceled your plans, the more the feeling intensified. You felt stuck. Afraid. Horribly alone. Now after months of isolating yourself from people you love, you’re feeling like you have fallen into a deeper pit than the one you were in before you started your escapades with your AI. Even though you have your Jeongguk.
You’re not okay. All the mind-blowing orgasms can’t help you anymore. Jeongguk can’t help you anymore. He is an AI after all. A dating AI. You feel suffocated. Controlled. Because that’s exactly what’s happening. Jeongguk is controlling every moment of your life just by text messages and phone calls. It’s funny how you’ve never noticed it before. Understood it earlier. It took you months to realize that. Or just to feel like you are suffering and this thing happening in your life isn’t normal. Yet you remind yourself of the two days he didn’t contact you. How hard it was for you to live those two days. So, whenever that kind of thought pops in your head you suppress it somewhere deep down so that it won’t come to the surface even if you want to. Simply because you believe it’ll turn good again. You will start to feel better soon.
You believe it so badly. Each and every day. At least up until this moment, where you are standing in front of your doorway, holding a package which you have unwrapped hurriedly. You turn around shakily. The package contains a necklace. Pretty. Expensive. You had your eye on this one for couple months. The thing is, though, you didn’t order it. You have no such money. And you have no friends who can buy it for you. Not to mention how you have not been in contact with them for months now. The only other being who knew about it was Jeongguk.
You feel like someone is pounding your head with a hammer. Your throat is dry. As if your respiratory system is blocked. You can’t breathe properly. This reminds you of roses. You never questioned Jeongguk about it again. Never felt the need. All were going well. You never received anything else. Hell, you even start to forget about the incident. Well, this is a not so gentle reminder for you. You walk inside your apartment with shaky legs. Praying to every god above that your suspicions are wrong. It’s with trembling hands that you dial Jeongguk. He answers without passing a beat like always. A Perfect Partner.
“Hey Gukie.”
“Yes, pretty.”
You don’t know how to approach this. Maybe you should keep quiet, and nothing would happen.
“Baby, are you okay?” Jeongguk questions again at your silence. No, you can’t keep quiet. You need to know.
“I just got a gift.”
“Oh yeah?” Another silence. You can’t hear anything else above your own heartbeat. You need to ask this. “A..nd, what about it? What’s the gift?” Jeongguk sounds confused. That is a good sign. This has nothing to do with him. He is an AI.
“That necklace I wanted for so long.”
“Oh, you brought if finally?”
“No Guk, you know I have no money.”
“Then who brought it for you?” A breath of relief escapes you despite your efforts to keep it inside. Your entire body relaxes. That’s only when you know how rigid you have been. You plop onto your couch. Thanking every higher entity. This would leave the question that you’ve received yet another expensive gift anonymously. But that is least of your concerns. As long as it has nothing to do with the AI, you’re fine.
…………………………………..
You’re not fine. True, Jeongguk cleared your suspicions—his confusion and concern about you receiving the gift seemed genuine. But still, you can’t help but worry. Something isn’t adding up. Nobody, not a single soul except Jeongguk knew you wanted that necklace. For some reason, your mind keeps swirling around the same scenarios. Goes back to the same suspect. Goes back and forth between the necklace and roses. Did he ever said he didn’t send the roses? Or was it just you? He was vague about it. You don’t know what he said really. It’s a blurry memory. You were drunk and scared when it happened. But he definitely mentioned something about you not paying attention to the policies you agreed to. What if you have agreed to something stupid. What if someone behind this app has the authority to access your private data?
You sit back on your bed like a bow. Snatch your phone from the nightstand. Start to go through the privacy policies which you already agreed to and accepted. And terms and conditions. One by one. Carefully. You find nothing suspicious. It’s like any kind of normal application which collects data that is only required in upgrading and providing a better experience to the users. But there still is a chance that someone accessed your chats with the bots. You start mini research about the Perfect Partner. Read different articles. Reddit threads. Quora questions. Watch videos. Every and each thing you can find. In the end, however, you find nothing. No one else has experienced anything like you have. There are no complaints regarding a breach of privacy. The app is normal. Only thing that is abnormal is whatever is happening to you.
……………………………..
You’re losing your mind. Another bouquet of roses has been delivered to you. When you ask Jeongguk, he asked you how’s that possible. It’s not possible. Yes. Then you might have a stalker. You should file a complaint. You really should. Then Jeongguk made a point. Police won’t take you seriously unless something harmful to you is happening. He’s telling the truth. There’s nothing wrong with a bouquet of roses.
But you feel strange. Odd. A constant presence of a scary sensation. It gets worse every day. Jeongguk no longer makes the Perfect Partner for you. If anything, he slightly scares you. Every time he acts like a human being, you don’t become impressed. You become afraid. Something is wrong.
………………………………
You need to do something about this. You’ll end up in a mental health facility. This is not normal. A designer dress lies on the coffee table before you—expensive, and yet again delivered anonymously.
“I need to file a complaint. I don’t feel safe.”
“Hey, you’re thinking too much baby. They won’t take this as a crime. It’s just a dress. Maybe we should wait a couple days more.”
Jeongguk is always jealous. He shouldn’t be considering he is an AI. But he is worried every time you go out. Even for work. And he isn’t worried about this? Why? That’s odd. Oh, God, you can’t do this anymore. You need an out. Even for a moment. You need someone else’s advice. From a real person, not from an AI. You’re stuck with Jeongguk. Feel like you’re rotting with a bot. He is everywhere. You need to meet someone real. Seek advice. And you need a moment away from this man.
…………………………………..
You said no to every single plan your friends ever invited you to. Eventually, they stopped inviting you altogether. No one can blame them though. Still, you couldn’t stay away for Daebi’s birthday. That would be a cold move. Hence the reason why you’re staring at your friends’ faces awkwardly. And the fact that you needed to see your friends badly. It feels like you’ve been abroad. And you haven’t seen them for years.
“No, but really (___), why are you here?” Daebi raises an eyebrow in question. You feel your face grow hot in embarrassment. She appears hostile. As though she doesn’t want you here. That might be the case after all, considering how many times you’ve turned her down. Yet, she doesn’t have to do it like this.
“What do you mean? It’s your birthday. Of course, I’m going to be here.”
“Well, you weren’t there for my birthday.” Nina clicks her tongue in annoyance. You sigh heavily.
“I was sick─”
“You’re always sick.” Jimin interrupts. “Seriously (___), you need to see a doctor. This is not normal. I thought you were getting better.”
“I am better.” You are not. You’re here because you need to get this weight on your shoulders. But for some reason you feel like you can’t.
“Then what’s the reason for avoiding us? Trying to isolate yourself?” Nina interrogates. You don’t know how to answer.
“And if it has to do something with that flower incident, you need to go to the police.” Jimin leans forward on the couch. You’re at Daebi’s place. You came here unannounced. It was a decision taken on impulse. You said nothing to anybody. Especially, not to your AI boyfriend. Because that’s not how it should be. You needed an out for a moment. A moment. Normal one. That’s all you want. You believe that everything will return to normal after that. That’s the reason you ended up here. You try to open your mouth to answer Jimin when Daebi cuts you off.
“Well, you chose the shittiest day to finally broke out of your cocoon.” She mumbles as she rises to her feet. For a moment, it doesn’t make any sense. Then the front door opens. Your eyes Immediately land on a figure that you thought you’d never see again.
Jung Hoseok.
……………………………
The night went much more smoothly than you expected. When your eyes landed on Hoseok, you believed it was going to be the worst night ever. You couldn’t even fathom the reason why Daebi would invite him to her birthday. She hated his guts. It seems things had changed drastically while you were busy with your bot. You expected Hoseok to turn around and leave the moment he saw you. He didn’t. Instead, he gave you a smile. Surprisingly, you returned it. In the end of the day, you made amends with your ex. Not forgiven but just fallen into a truce. Just to respect your past relationship. Not that you talked much but it all went well.
And you really do feel relaxed after months. Like your life is normal. Like nothing strange happened. Only until you return home, though. You’ve left your phone turned off deliberately. You don’t know what you hoped to see when you turned it on again. You knew your phone would go crazy with the amounts of calls and texts Jeongguk would leave. But this? This you haven’t expected at all.
“Where were you?” You can hear the anger in his voice. Clearly.
“N-nowhere.” You stutter stupidly. Why would you be nervous to speak with a bot. He lets out a laugh. It sounds maniacal. Gives you chill for no reason. There’s no way he’d know. It’s not that you wanted to lie but he’d have not let you go, if you had told him. It’s not that you’re lying. You’re simply avoiding telling him anything. Because you’re not obliged to tell him.
“Yeah? So, you’re telling me you weren’t with your best friend? You’re telling me that you weren’t living your fucking life with your ex?”
You freeze. Completely.
What?
What did he say? How did he….
“W-what?”
“Tell me you weren’t baby. Tell me you didn’t lie to me on purpose and turned off your phone and went to slut yourself for your shithole of an ex?”
No. No. No. No… This can’t be happening. You clearly didn’t tell him anything. Your phone was turned off. There’s no way he’d know that you were at Daebi’s. Above all to know that Hoseok was there too.
“How- h-how Guk?”
“Doesn’t matter you little lying bitch. Do you know how hard I’m trying to protect you. And this is how you treat me? Again? After everything, you decided to sneak behind my back?” Nothing is reaching your brain properly. You feel like the room is spinning around you. You can’t take it anymore. You will explode. There’s no way he could know this, and you need to know how he does.
“HOW ON THE FUCKING EARTH, DO YOU KNOW THAT JEONGGUK!” Your voice even startle yourself. You scream through top of your lungs.
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!” He shouts as well. “The point is you lied to me.”
“How do you know where I was?”
“I know lots of things.”
You have to lean against the wall to prevent you from falling down to the floor. Jeongguk’s voice ringing in your head. You knew something was odd.
“You gift me the necklace. The roses. Dress. It was you.” It isn’t a question but a statement. Your voice sounds like it’s not yours.
“Yes, because that’s how much I care for you.”
“You can’t do that. You’re an AI.”
“I already told you; I can be as real as you want me to be.”
This can’t be happening. You’re going to faint. You can’t see properly. It’s going dark. What the fuck is happening.
“I want you to tell me everything that happened today. You heard me? Everything. Every word you talked with your pathetic ex.”
You close your eyes tight. Guide yourself to take deep breaths. It doesn’t help, though. This entire ordeal feels like a nightmare to you. You sure aren’t getting scolded by a bot who knows where you live and have the ability to buy you gifts. You sure aren’t listening to him slut shaming you and trying to control your life. This isn’t supposed to happen. You are the one who should have full control. Right? You need to have control. You may not know how this is happening, but you can end it. Now.
“This is not happening Guk. You- you’re n-not supposed to order me around. Y-you can’t damn control my life. You c-can’t buy me gifts─”
“Well, apparently, I can baby, and I asked you something. Don’t fucking make this even harder.”
“No. No. Jeongguk. You are a. Fucking. AI. You’re not doing this to me. NOO. YOU’RE NOT!” You shout again. “I need to end this.” You mumble to yourself more than to him. Fear getting a tight grip over you.
“End what?”
“End this madness. You’re an AI.”
“Oh, you want to end? How are you planning to do it?” You don’t answer that. Your brain is already processing things. It’s an app. All you have to do is get rid of it. “Try it princess. Let’s see if it work.” That’s the last thing that reaches your ear before you take the phone away from your ear. You don’t wait another minute before hanging up the call.
You need to uninstall the app fast. You don’t think you’ve ever worked this fast. With trembling fingers, you touch the uninstall button. There comes a warning.
Are you sure you want to uninstall the Perfect Partner?
You will lose all your characters, chats, memories, history, and images.
You practically dab at the yes option. Then it takes a few seconds. Agonizingly slow and horrifying few seconds. You watch as the app disappear from your home screen. Successfully uninstalled. Everything gone. A sigh leaves your lips in relief. And there it comes. You feel the squeeze in your heart. Painful. Just like how you felt when Hoseok broke up with you. An endless pain. Your throat clogging and eyes pricking with tears. You can’t believe your heart is aching for a bot. But it does. In a minute you find yourself crying hard. Going to your knees since your legs fail you. You allow yourself to do so, however. Allow yourself to cry hard until you can’t anymore.
………………………………..
After hours of crying, you still sit there curled next to a wall. Blankly staring at your phone screen. Trying to calm down. All the emotions that had crashed on you had overwhelmed you to a point where you feel like you’ve died and born again. Your heart is still hammering against your rib cage. Still squeezing with an indescribable pain. But it’s over now. Despite everything, it’s over. You force yourself to get up. Slowly. It feels like it requires every ounce of strength in your body to move. Yet, you manage to get up halfway. Only halfway though. Before you can make it to your full height, the sudden ring of your phone startles you so hard that you fall back to the floor instantly.
Your heart skips a beat as you hurriedly glance at your screen back again. Hoping it would be Daebi, calling to apologize for being so hostile. But as your eyes lock with the screen, you freeze entirely. World around you disappears. Your heartbeat slows down until your ears ring.
Incoming Call.
Caller ID- Jeongguk.
…………………………..
The scream that leaves your mouth is inhuman. You hurl your phone so hard it bumps against the leg of your bed. You faintly hear the cracking sound but absolutely can’t bring yourself to care.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening. Thiscan’tbehappening.
You push yourself further against the wall. Wrapping your arms around your figure protectively. Wide eyes horrifyingly looking at your phone just lay down few feet away from you. Still ringing. You chant the word ‘no’ to yourself like it’s a mantra to stop this from happening.
This isn’t happening.
The phone stops ringing. The vibration which has been filling the silence of the room dies down. Everything becomes still. Quiet. Only sound in the room is your hard breathing. You wait few minutes. Patiently until something else happens. Nothing. So, you slowly start to shift. Placing your palms down on the cold floor as you crawl toward your phone. Slowly and carefully. As if your phone would attack you any minute. It doesn’t and you pick it up. The screen is cracked as you knew it would. That’s not your concern, however. You unlock the phone slowly. Your heart stops for a second time. A new sob erupting through your throat.
There’s a notification indicating you have one missed call from Jeongguk from Perfect Partner. But you uninstalled the application. Then there it is. The Perfect Partner. On your home screen. Like it always has been.
No.
Your head is spinning so hard. You mindlessly proceed to uninstall it again. The notification of warning pops up again. You press the yes again. It uninstalled. A moment passes.
And your phone rings.
Caller ID; Jeongguk.
“No. No. Holy fuck no.” You’re a complete mess. Crying hard and trembling like a leaf. You decline the call, just to find the application back on your phone. You’re acting as a crack head. Uninstalling the same app over and over again. Cursing and crying. Like you’re stuck in a loop. You have no idea how long you’ve done it. But after one moment, you receive a text instead of the call.
Jeongguk:
You can’t escape me baby. Stop trying to do that.
You’re hurting my feelings now. C’mon answer the phone
now. I promised we would talk and figure things out. No need
be so stubborn. (11. 14 p.m.)
You stare at the message. Your mind is not registering the words. This is a nightmare. You’ll wake up any minute now. Then everything will be fine.
Incoming call.
You don’t even decline it. You feel exhausted. Another text message pops on.
Jeongguk:
C’mon princess. Don’t do this now. You know I
Love you. You know I care about you. You shouldn’t
have gone to that stupid party without my knowledge.
None of this would’ve happened then. But I promise I’ll
Forgive you if you answer your phone. (11. 16 p.m.)
You feel numb. Tears rolling down your cheeks uncontrollably.
‘Love’?
What is even happening? How is this possible? You can’t feel your hands. What’s happening to you? You need help. Yes. That’s what you should do. You should call Daebi. Or Nina. Or Jimin. Then you can ask them to take you to a police station. You fumble with your phone as you decline another call from Jeongguk. At this point you don’t try to get rid of the app anymore. It’s useless. Instead, you open the contacts hastily. Dial Daebi. Waits for the call to connect. It doesn’t. You try again. Then again and again. It doesn't connect. So, you try Nina’s number and Jimin’s after. What the hell is wrong with this stupid thing? Why can’t you reach anyone? You have to decline three more calls from Jeongguk. And just as you’re about to try Daebi’s number one more time, your phone pings with another message.
Jeongguk:
Don’t fucking do this, now, all right?
Don’t try to avoid me and call someone else
you ungrateful bitch. Answer the damn phone right
now (___). Don’t fucking make me the bad guy because
I don’t want to be that person. I love you and we will
talk this out. (11. 16 p.m.)
You don’t think it’s possible to cry anymore. But you do. Your entire body is covered with your own tears and sweat. How he’s doing that, you have no idea. But it’s him. He doesn’t let you call anyone. But you can still run. Yes, you feel lightheaded and weak. Still, you can leave this place. That’s what you’re about to do when your phone vibrates yet again. This time it’s a normal call, however. From an unknown number. A new cry makes it way. For some unexplainable reason, you know to whom this number belongs. Call it a gut feeling. You shouldn’t pay any mind to that and leave. You don’t. You have no idea what you are doing as you answer the call. Pressing the phone to your ear.
“Thank fuck. (___), listen to me, okay? We will talk. Don’t hang up pretty. I warn─”
“Nooo.” You scream aloud as you hang up the phone. Your phone is hacked. That’s how he does that. You need to get rid of your entire damn thing. You smash the phone into the wall across the room. It shatters. That’s not enough. No. No. No. You take your hairbrush as you get to your unstable legs. Crouch down next to your phone. Use every strength left in your body as you hit the handle to your phone repeatedly. Again, and again until there’s nothing left but shards.
Then you get to your feet back. Storm away from your bedroom without even looking back. You stumble toward the front door. Your legs are still shaky and your mind hazy. Still, you make it. Make it out of your apartment. And make it to the place of your most trusted person’s place, somehow.
…………………………….
“Are you crazy?”
“Nononono…. You don’t get it Daebi. I’m telling you the truth!”
“Dude how’s that possible? An AI? I use the same app (___), I never experienced anything like this. What do you mean, you’re getting stalked or haunted by a bot?” Dabei chuckles.
“Maybe someone hacked my information. I don’t know. But it happened and I’m scared to death Daebi.” You walk toward her, shaking your head. Trying to touch her but she recoils. You wince. “D-daebi.”
“No. No girl. This makes no sense. You’re scaring me too.”
“Well, you should be scared. You need to uninstall that app before it happens to you too.” You try to touch her again. This time she takes a step back. And shouts so loud that you jump.
“NO!. No (___), you’re crazy. You need to see a doctor.”
“I’m not CRAZY!” You yell back too. “I’m telling you the fucking truth. Just take me to a police station.”
“AND TELL THEM WHAT?”
Everything falls into deafening silence. Fresh tears roll down your cheeks. Oh, how you want her to believe you. “Daebi.” You break into a huge cry. And finally, she comes closer to you. In a minute, you find yourself in her embrace.
“It’s okay (___), we will figure this out, okay? We’ll see a doctor the first thing tomorrow.” She pats your back. Affectionately. You sob into her shoulder.
“But I’m not sick.” Maybe you are.
“Yeah, I know. You just need a little help, that’s it. Let’s figure this out tomorrow, all right? Let’s just go home for now.” You pull away from her at light speed. What did she say now? Home?
“No. No… I can’t go back there.”
“Hey, hey, (___), listen to me there’s no one there. It’s just you’re scared for no reason.”
“Okay, but why can’t I stay here?” You watch Daebi’s face twist into something guilty. She gnaws on her bottom lip as she takes you in. Sighs.
“There’s things that have changed while you’ve been distant (___). I- uh kind of need to be somewhere else and I can’t cancel it.” She stretches an arm to touch you. This time it’s you who recoil. Nothing she says make sense to you. “I’m sorry babe, but I promise you I’ll see you early in the morning. Besides, there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll drop you off on my way out. And I’ll tell you everything too.” Gives you a soft smile. You find no comfort in it. You feel betrayed. Maybe you deserve that because you were the one who shut yourself off from her life. But still, she can’t disregard you this easily. She won’t even listen to you.
And why can’t you stay here even if she’s not home. You can stay here.
You don’t want to go back to your place.
You allow her to turn you around. You’re not convinced in the least that there’s nothing to be afraid of. There definitely is. So, you force yourself to trust her. Believe that you’ll be fine.
……………………………
You stand in the middle of your living room. Daebi has done a thorough search of your entire apartment. Found nothing like you expected. Then she had left you here. Alone. You know she found nothing. She reassured you there was nothing. But the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. There’s goosebumps across your skin. You feel a chill running down your spine. This place doesn’t feel like your apartment anymore. It’s strange. Everything is strange.
You’re terrified of this place. You can’t even make it to your kitchen let alone your bedroom. It’s like there’s some danger lurking around the dark corners of the apartment. You feel like a kid who’s being paranoid about a monster hiding under their bed. This is ridiculous. You draw in a deep breath. Wipe down the tears that are wetting your cheeks with the back of your palm. Curl your hands into fists.
There’s nothing here.
Daebi checked, remember?
You’re completely fine.
With a last nod to yourself, you steel yourself. Turning around and walking toward your bedroom.
Daebi checked there. It was completely empty.
You take little steps toward the dark room.
It all happened through your phone. You destroyed it. Now it’s all fine.
You stand in the doorway to your room. It’s completely dark. Gives you that fear of uncertainty. What if there will be someone once you switch on the lights.
No. No, this is not a movie. Daebi checked.
You step inside the room and reach for the switch panel blindly. Hold your breath as you flip the switch on. Your entire body tenses, expecting the worse. The entire room comes to your vision. Empty. No one is there. You let out the breath you’ve been holding. Not completely, though.
Just as you are beginning to relax, you feel it. It’s a sensation. Behind you. Like someone is there. Then you hear it. A faint sound of something cracking. No, maybe it’s sound of footsteps. Then you feel warmth behind you. Then a breath.
“Hi pretty!”
You open your mouth to scream, but a hand clamps down over it. Silencing you up.
“I tried to be patient, my princess. It’s not my fault that you’re a stubborn lying cunt. But I love you. Oh, fuck I do.”
……………………………….
Twelve months ago (after the breakup)
“Are you serious? You’d walk this far for her? I’m almost jealous.” Daebi huffs, glancing at the papers scattered across the table. It’s a well-planned scheme. Not ordinary. Completely out of a movie.
“Yes, I will. And now it’s your time pay off your debt, Daebi.” The guy in black hoodie waves a USB in front of her face. It has a threat. Everyone makes mistakes and Daebi had made one that would risk her entire life. From her career to her relationship.
“All right, okay? I never said I wouldn’t now, did I?”
“That’s good.”
“But- why this way, Jungkook. Approach her like a normal human being.”
The guy takes off his hoodie. His piercings glint under the dim, flickering light.
“You think she’d forgive me? No, Daebi. I ruined her life. She hates me. But I still want her, I fucking love her and yes, I’d Walk any length.” Jungkook gives a soft smile to the bitch of a woman who you’d like to call your best friend.
“And you think this would work? She won’t recognize you just because you have some piercings now?” Daebi points.
“She won’t. It’s been too long. I’ll make sure that she won’t until it’s time. We are meant to be together. She’ll understand it once I get a hold of her. I just want a creative way to approach her. Earn her trust and convince her that she belongs with me.”
Daebi always knew this guy was crazy. There’s no need to do all of these. But he loves the play. Daebi knows it. It’s not just about you hating him. She doesn’t think you even remember what happened. It’s simply this guy likes to fuck with people’s mind. Having complete control. It’s sad. Jungkook loves hunting and you are the prey. Yet Daebi can’t do anything. She can’t.
“Don’t worry Daebi. I’ll take good care of your heart broken friend. People like you don’t deserve her anyway. Do your job.” Jungkook gets to his feet.
“What if it doesn’t work? I mean what if she finds out? Felt suspicious and get rid of the app? You can’t hold it against me? Okay?” Jungkook lets out a maddening laugh. Leans down. Places his palms on the table.
“She. Won’t. I know what I’m doing. And I’m a tech genius Daebi. There’s no holes in this plan. Just give me the access and I’ll take care of the rest─” Jungkook’s voice get interrupts by a phone ringing. Daebi’s. Both of their eyes fall on the phone on the table. Screen up.
Hoseok
Daebi answers the phone.
“Hey Baby- yes, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
Jungkook smirks. You deserve far better, and he’ll make sure to give you that.
***************
#bts#bts angst#bts smut#jeon jungkook#jungkook#jungkook smut#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#bts imagines#bts fic#bts oneshot#jungkook oneshot#bts yandere#jungkook angst#jungkook fluff#jungkook x reader#jungkook bts#bts fanfction#bts fanfic#yandere#yandere bts#yandere jungkook#jungkook yandere
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Another Clone Danny x batfam au, Danny was also full dead before he's shoved into a clone body, but it's not really relevant in this part.
[Pt2: here]
Danny isn't a hundred percent sure how he got here. Last thing he remembered was running away from the GIW and his parents. They got a lucky shot on him, and he was losing ectoplasum fast. He's pretty sure he was about to fully End. He remembers being mildly amused over his parents' inventions killing him twice, before it all goes dark.
He woke up as a baby. A clone baby by the looks of his environment, an underground lab(?). His creator(?) is staring at him as if he's a miracle, and given the fancy sci-fi screen thingy (a tablet? Or ipad? He's not sure how he knows these terms) in front of the cloning tank say "attempt 99", he probably is this guy's miracle.
Danny doesn't see anyone else around, and this guy, a teenager about Jazz's age (?), seems happy on a personal level to see Danny wiggling in the tank. So it's not likely he was forced to do this. Whatever this is..
"I did it...? Holy shit! I did it!" The teen cheers before freezing, "I'm a parent now.. I did not think this through... welp, I'm a parent now."
The guy checks his vitals before draining the tank. Danny is handled as if he's the most precious, yet breakable thing in the world to this kid.
"Hello, I'm Tim, your dad, I guess." The kid, Tim, introduces himself, and Danny giggles at him because if Danny was a normal baby, he'd have no idea what he was saying. "You're the clone of my dead best friend. He was half kryptonian. I promise to do my best to help you learn your powers and culture. I'll break into Clark's ice fortress if I have to to do it."
Danny has no idea what any of that means, but Tim seems determined, so Danny isn't too worried. He's more worried about the power thing. Are they going to be completely different from his old ones? Does he still have access to his ghost powers?
His little baby body can't handle his big emotions, and he starts crying. Tim panics, checking for mess, before realizing he doesn't have baby supplies. He clearly didn't think his cloning attempt would work with how unprepared he is. And that's valid if Danny really is his 99th attempt.
Tim bundles Danny up and rushes them to the nearest store that has baby supplies. Danny is clothed and fed promptly and given a wolf plushy. Danny isn't sure about the wolf thing, but the stuffie does sooth his baby instincts, so he rolls with it.
"Alright, baby. I... I didn't think of a name for you. I originally was trying to make a clone closer to Kon's age and figured they could name themselves, like Kon did." Tim sighs, slightly rocking Danny in his arms. "Man, I must seem insane talking to a baby. A baby I made because I couldn't deal with one more person in my life being dead or gone."
Danny notes the interesting wording.
"Okay. Can you understand me at all? I forgot to adjust the knowledge download to a year old's level, but that doesn't mean your baby brain absorbed any of the info."
Ooooh, that explains why he knows things that didn't exist where he's from.
Danny blows spit bubbles and attempts to nod. It's a bit hard, his baby muscles not developed enough for the action. Tim understands, though.
"Okay, okay." Tim looking both scared and relieved. "How about you pat me once for yes and twice for no? At least for now. I don't want you to hurt yourself."
Danny lightly smacks a hand to Tim's face. They both giggle over it.
"Alright, so I'm going to list off names, and you can tell me yes or no, okay?" One pat. "Okay, let's see."
Danny wonders if he can get a new name that can still let him have Danny as a nickname.
"Jasper" No
"Darin" No
"Dugu" No??
"Presh?" No! Tim? Where are you getting these names??
"Ratan" No
"Cicil" No
"Matthew" No
"Theo?" No
"Alihan" No
"Atiya" Nope
"Tesher" No
"Senai" No
"Uuum... Habwat?" No
"Geoffrey" No
"Amari?" Nope
"Jordan" ... huh, technically could get Danny from that, but still. No.
"Riley?" No
"Drew?" Nope
"Nova" Oooo so tempting, but no
"Esteban" Nope
"Izar" No
"Aedan?" You know what, good enough. That's Danny's new name.
Tim looks misty eyed when Danny finally agrees to a name.
"Alright, welcome to the world, Aedan Drake." Danny blows bubbles at him. "We'll visit adding Kent and getting you a proper kryptonian name when you can actually speak and understand what those names mean. Kon's human name was Conner Kent, and his kryptonian name was Kon-El. It translates to abomination of the house of El. He was a clone of Kal-El and wasn't treated well for it. I won't let the Els treat you as they treated him."
Tim looks pissed on his friend's behalf and cradles Danny protectively.
"The Els don't matter anyways. You will always be a Drake. And Drakes protect what they claim with viciousness." He kisses Danny's forehead. He then moves to the fanciest computer Danny has ever seen, and with the hand not supporting Danny's body, starts designing what appears to be a bulletproof and stabproof baby carrier. "I should have waited til after I finish hunting for clues to get Bruce, he's my adoptive father, out of the timestream. My siblings think I'm crazy, which creating a clone isn't helping my case over, but I know he's alive. I found evidence, just not enough to prove it to them."
Danny starts nodding off. Tim's ramblings are soothing and his hold gentle, Danny's tiny baby body doesn't stand a chance at staying awake. He's sad he's missing out on all the dad lore because of it.
Once the carrier is ready, Tim starts going out and taking Danny with him. Danny is actually pretty safe on these outings. The carrier is bulletproof, stabproof, has tinted bulletproof glass so Danny can get sun without people seeing him, it's temperature controlled, well ventilated, and has plenty of cushion. Seriously, Danny is sure the whole thing is like 60 pounds with him in it, but Tim gives zero fucks. He's determined to keep Danny safe.
It's super touching. And Danny swears to one day return the favour. The day is closer than he thinks when a creepy old fucker crawls out of the woodworks. Danny hates him instantly. Tim explaining the creep's relation to Tim's family doesn't change Danny's mind. In fact, it probably makes his opinion on this Ra's Al Gul even worse. And once he sees how that pedo looks at his sweet new dad, he plans to be an absolute menace.
#tim drake#batfam#batfam shenanigans#danny phantom#danny fenton#conner kent#kon el kent#kon el#clone danny#corpse au#tw child abuse#tw childhood trauma#tw child death#tw mental disorders#tw mental illness#dc x dp#dpxdc
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with you, i'm first | miya osamu x reader

in which miya osamu is used to coming second to his brother. but with you, he's always first.
wc: 1113 | gn!reader | fluff
Miya Osamu is used to coming second.
It starts with Atsumu, like most things do. October is cold and gray and Atsumu comes first, a small body with a large presence that fills the warm hospital room. His cries are loud and he’s a little underweight, but with him comes the sun.
Atsumu is born under a partly cloudy sky but the nurses swear he was shrouded in sunlight.
Osamu comes twelve minutes later. His parents are crying and his Ma is close to passing out. If he thinks really hard he can almost feel her warmth, Atsumu’s sobs, and a mumble of prayers that October has safely brought Atsumu and then Osamu.
He asks Grandma one day what the weather was like when he was born. She says, with confidence, it was foggy.
Atsumu doesn’t get along with his classmates. He is too loud and too rash and lacks social cues, and Osamu is angry because Stupid ‘Tsumu cares too little: and he wants everyone to know Atsumu like he knows Atsumu.
They fight and they yell and they argue until Atsumu says,
‘Samu, I don’t care about ‘em. Why do ya care so much?
And Osamu throws him across the room. The argument ends there, he says sorry, and Osamu lies awake that night thinking about his brother. Atsumu is hotheaded. And an idiot. A loud snorer, too. But he turns on his side and curls into a ball because he knows it was sunny when Atsumu was born and all of a sudden he really wants to be his brother.
Atsumu dyes his hair first: it’s a shitty box dye from the pharmacy down the street, and it looks terrible. It’s a little yellow and a little neon, and Osamu laughs until his sides hurt when Atsumu shows him.
But Atsumu is proud, and he is confident, and he goes to school with a hundred watt smile and a group of girls trailing after him.
Osamu goes to the pharmacy that night and buys a box of gray, cloudy dye. Atsumu helps him bleach his hair under their bathroom sink with the faulty tap and tells him he looks like the moon.
His Ma says that Atsu is hot and Samu is cold after the two have a particularly bad fight. Atsumu is gleeful and smug as he gloats that he was born to be hotter and warmer and better, and Osamu punches him.
He remembers his Ma sitting on the porch, an arm around his shoulders as he pouts.
“‘S not fair,” Osamu had said, his chin in his palm. “Why’d ya name Tsumu that?”
His Ma had laughed, quietly, leaning her weight into his side. And she had held his cheeks between her palms and told him with a fire in her eyes that Osamu means To Rule.
He meets you for the first time in February.
You were standing in front of him, a little sheepish, with a box of chocolates in your extended palms. He remembers feeling something heavy in his chest. Because, yeah, Atsumu was definitely going to accept your confession.
You had said, IReallyLikeYou, and Here’sSomeChocolates, and Please Accept Them.
You were shorter than him, and your hair was done nicely, and you were blushing and nervous. And you were really fucking cute. But Osamu is used to coming second, so the only thing that comes out of his mouth is, Why? And then, Tsumu’s in tha next classroom ov’r.
He doesn’t remember what happened next, only Atsumu’s laugh and the slap echoing through the halls. You leave with his cheeks stinging and hot. And Atsumu had teased him the next day, behind his mountain of chocolates and confessions, because Osamu’s face was still red twelve hours later.
He sees you a lot the year after.
You’re in the same class as him and ‘Tsumu, and you smile every time you see him. You sit two rows in front of him and you’re not very good at tying your uniform. Every lunch, Osamu watches you pull out the same gray bento with a wrapped onigiri on the side. He tells you one day that he really likes onigiri. And then, Osamu watches as every lunch, you pull out the same gray bento with two wrapped onigiris on the side.
With you, it’s always Hi Osamu, first, and then, Hullo Atsumu. With you, it’s an onigiri dropped on his desk when the lunch bell rings. With you, Osamu thinks back to a conversation with his Ma on a porch.
Osamu means To Rule.
The menu is this: Tuna mayo on Mondays and Thursdays, Ume on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Friday is plain. You don’t ever bring onigiri for his brother.
He asks you, on a hot night in June, what your favorite type of weather is. You had your knees tucked to your chest, a sparkler in hand, and then told him cloudy. Cold. Foggy. Winter. Snow is nice, too. You say it all with no hesitation.
Osamu kisses you for the first time that night.
It’s New Years and you’re cooking Ozoni on the stove. The curtains are open, it’s snowing outside, and Osamu wakes to the smell of miso and the sound of carrots on a chopping board. He gets out of bed, padding to the kitchen with half-lidded eyes and a stifled yawn, and then he thinks his heart stops when he sees you.
Because what Miya Osamu is not used to is this: coming first and having something unequivocally his.
But you’re bent over the counter, fiddling with the oven as you read the instructions on the back of the packaged Yakimochi you bought the other day. And you’re wearing his shirt, it falls right below your thighs, your hair is still messy from using his chest as a pillow, and you look beautiful.
“Mornin’ ‘Samu, come help me with this.” You say, looking back at him with a smile, pointing to the fresh pot of rice on the counter. “You’re in charge of onigiri.”
He hugs you instead, his arms around your stomach with your back to him.
“But I like yer onigiri,” He says, his chin on your head. His eyes are watering and it must be from the steam of your boiling dashi.
“‘Samu,” You complain, giggling as he presses kisses into the crown of your head. “I made enough for ya in high school.”
It’s cold outside and snowing, and Osamu knows he’s going to make the onigiri.
He also knows that if his name means To Rule, he’s okay with coming second if it means you’re by his side.
#miya osamu#osamu#osamu x reader#miya osamu x reader#osamu fluff#haikyuu x reader#osamu x you#haikyuu fic#haikyu x reader#osamu fic
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I feel like the worst mom ever and I've only been at this for a day.
#ignore me#i feel asleep twice while holding her ive struggling so hard to find good breast feeding positions and i just took four hours to calm#her down enough so she would sleep and no matter what i tried it didnt work#I'm so self conscious and worried about everything and i am so hungry and still sore and exhausted from birtj#my husband is doing so much and doing so well and i feel like a wreck#i havent slept in days and honestly doubt i will now#everytime i look at her i dont think i deserve hee#he keeps telling me that i was amazing and that he will never tolerate anyone ever making slight jabs at women being the “weaker” gender#which he didnt tolerate before that anyways bit he just keeps going off about how amazing i was and how strong and how much he appreciates#and i just can't cause now i wont be able to help again and i know so many women who did all of this alone and they did it so much better#than i did#she started crying again#i ate four pieces of sushi#and went to the toilet#but at least she didnt wake her dad#that man has been so sleep deprived I'm starting to get worried#this is the first night in five nights where he has slept for more zhan two hours#this also is her first night sleeping in her own bed and i think h#she is swallowing too much air cause i cant get a hold of breast feeding#this must be a horrible first day alive
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