#if i sketch him enough ill get a solid design one day

[tofumedic]

gonna take a break from a wip to start another wip but this one is gonna be bathym in a dress if ur lucky???? yeah

[hamilsquadwritings]

The Worst Kind of Event (Washington x platonic fem!soldier reader)

The Worst Kind Of Event

(Washington x platonic fem!soldier reader)

Request:- @t0xcat

“” hey! could i possibly get a washington x platonic fem solider reader where he basically sees her as his daughter and has been fighting by his side for a long time and then she’s sent away to south carolina for the battle of yorktown and he receives news from one of the soldiers that she died and washington and the rest of the hamilsquad has a funeral for her n stuff,, sry if it’s confusing!! have fun writing!! 💖💖 “”

~ Warnings: angst, a couple swears, soldiers and war, death, lots of tears ~

{{I'm so sorry if it sucks I've never done angst before, hope it's okay!!☺️💗}}

Words: 3.1 k (so I may have got a little bit carried away?!) 

You had worked with George for 3 years now. You'd come along way from the scrappy blood thirsty recruit he's met all that time ago. You'd joined the revolution after your parents had been killed in an attack from the British soldiers. You'd had enough of standing by and letting others fight for you. 

When you first approached him he didn't take you seriously, something he would quickly learn to regret, you attacked his name and ended up in a duel on your second day on camp. It didn't go anywhere because George had stepped in, he had sent you to his tent while he dealt with your opponent, a one Alexander Hamilton. He wouldn't hear slander against his mentors name, no matter who it came from.

Three years later Alex was the closest thing you had to a brother, you loved him dearly. He was always by your side, you'd saved eachother lives many times over. Be it from enemy fire or from eating food John Laurens had prepared, he said he could cook but Washington had warned you never to accept food off him unless you wanted to spend a few days with the nurses throwing your guts up. He was also one of your best friends, the three of you were practically inseparable, you'd fight, eat and sleep together. The three of you were Washington's aids so you'd all room together. You didn't mind, you'd much rather have them with you and know where they were rather than worry about their whereabouts; as you often did when you couldn't find them about camp. 

You'd also made friends with a tailor who'd frequent the campsite, you recognised him as the boy who worked with the tailor your father had gone to. When he'd first seen you he did a double take. Where was the sweet young girl he'd often played with when their fathers had been busy. You quickly grew inseparable, he'd seen first hand what this war had done to you. He adopted an older brother role, watching out for you on the campsite. 

There had been a group of soldiers who'd decided you'd be an easy target and grabbed you on your second week, they had planned to rough you up a bit and steal your rations, making its a regular occurrence. Unfortunately for them Lafayette had been watching and followed you out. He'd had trouble with those particular men before and had a horrible gut feeling that they were going to do something bad. They didn't get the chance because he'd followed, grabbing the leader and shoved him against the wall, his friends looked on mouths agape as Lafayette was explicitly clear about what he would do to them if they ever bothered you again. You'd been thankful for him ever since. The five of you grew to be a close knit group of friends.

"Hey (Y/N)!" Alex grins as you sit down next to him with your tray "they're giving out assignments at 7, they said some of us will be going as far as South Carolina.." he says nervously, John was from South Carolina which meant it was likely he'd get selected, he knew the terrain which would prove useful to the troops. The last they'd heard south Carolina had been secured but a LOT of blood had been shed to get there. It was likely that just as much would be to keep it that way. 

"He better make it back' you say, trying to sound strong, your voice betraying you with a slight wobble. 

"Who better what?' John asks and he slides info the seat across from you 

"Nothing" Alex says quickly, too quickly. John just gives him a strange look before he starts to eat his own dinner. Hes barely half way when Washington comes up to the table 

"Laurens, Y/L/N, with me," he says gruffly. You have just enough time to shoot a look to Alex, who looks worried, before you're following George to his office. You and John half speed walking, half running to keep up with the general. He wasn't happy, not one bit, you could feel it in the air. "sit down, both of you" he says shutting the door to his office. You share a worried look with John and take a seat.

"Sir?" John asks after a few seconds of silence, there was something wrong, George was stalling.

"You're both shipping out to South Carolina tomorrow" he says finally "first thing in the morning, I'm not sure how long for but you'll both be back before you know it" he says confidently, well, like he was trying to be. If only he could have guaranteed that.. 

You and John left the next morning, Alex and George had both gotten up hours earlier than they should've to see you off. Hercules and Lafayette had said their good byes the might before, the five of you shared dinner together. You'd be lying if you'd said there wasn't a tearful goodbye. Alex took it really hard. As soon as he'd heard south Carolina he knew John would be going. You, however, were a complete shock and it shook him to his very core. You both were excellent soldiers, he knew you could handle yourselves but he couldn't help but worry. 

George hugged you both and saluted which you gladly returned, he wasn't big on goodbyes so he said "until we see eachother again" and smiled, you could feel the love through those few words and you wiped away tears and hug him again, Alex and John quickly joining, he was the closest all three of you had to a father which made you your own little family.

"We got this' John says squeezing your shoulder as you join the other troops in the carriage. 

As it turns out, you in fact, did not have this, far from it. Upon arrival it seemed as all was okay, you'd been thinking the worse but once you got there it didn't seem so bad. You had a part of your family with you and that was all you needed. The conditions were rougher than you were used to but it wasn't so bad, you shared a tent with John so you attest had someone familiar to talk to. 

One the second day you were sent out into the field, there was enemy fire and you were sent as back up. John was by your side laying against a rock when it happened. A loud crack and a searing pain erupted across your side. 

You'd been shot.

The medics did everything they could, they allowed John to travel back to base with you but there was nothing more to be done. He sat by your side while you lay in the bed. He did his best to cheer you up, even with tears in his eyes he told you it was going to be okay and you'd be fine. You knew better. 

"John" you said quietly and he stopped mid sentence, he could see the light behind your eyes was dimming

"Yes?' he whispers back, knowing his voice would betray him if he raised it any higher 

"I want you to write this down, f-for when you go back" you choke out as he scrambled to get a pad and pencil. He scribed down your final words, a letter for each of your family. You used the last of your energy to sign each one.

Alex had been looking forward to your return for weeks. He'd received a letter from you and John the first week, you'd sent it the first day. He'd received letters from John since but he didn't think much of it, field work was tiring and he knew you put 100% into your work and probably fell into bed as soon as you'd had the chance. John's letters were short, but that was to be expected, hed never been half the writer you or alex were. 

"You're going to wear out the deck" Lafayette chuckles from beside him

"I can't wait to see them" Alex says happily as Hercules grins up at his friend. He's sat on the desk with a notebook as he sketches some new designs for a dress, he'd already made you one since you left, he was so excited to see you and show you the three others he'd designed. 

Alex stood on his tippy toes as the ship came into view. He could see soldiers peering over the edge of the ship, there were less than those who'd left three weeks earlier but that was to be expected. He couldn't see you or John. He looks to Washington who'd joined them as the ship docked. Soldiers flooded off the ship, happy to be home on dry land after the travel at sea. 

They waited patiently as soldier after soldier disembarked, as the crowd on the ship dwindled they began to grow worried. Finally John emerged, he looked ill.. no not ill, heartbroken, he looked heartbroken. Hercules felt his stomach drop as they ran to the deck, the crowd of soldiers clearing as Washington marched up to the ship

"John?" He asks as Lafayette helps the grief stricken man off the boat and back onto dry land. "What's happened?" He asks carefully, not daring to utter your name. John just shakes his head as tears filled his eyes for what felt like the 100th time since it happened. Alex felt his knees give out as he collapsed, laf catches him just in time, practically having to hold him up. No.. no this couldn't be happening. Everyone had told him you'd both be coming back, where were you?! 

George's face had hardened a thousand years, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. He turned away as they threatened to spill over. He gently lay a hand on John's shoulder and squeezed it, it was all he could do before he marched away to his office. This wasn't supposed to happen, you and John were supposed to come home okay, he'd warned the general to keep an eye on the both of you, to keep you safe. He needed you to be safe. You were the closest thing he'd ever come to having a daughter. You'd saved his life more times than he could remember, you'd also kept Alexander out of trouble more than enough times which he was, of course, grateful for. When he'd heard your story about your parents he'd been moved, most people would've crumpled at that hardship but you only took it in your stride to power yourself. That's what he loved about you, that you took everything like gave you and used it to your advantage. You were also incredibly kind and would do anything for your family. 

He thought back to his last birthday, he hadn't wanted anyone to know it was his birthday but you'd decorated his room with balloons and a handpainted banner and had your whole little family there to celebrate, you'd even found a cake for him to make a wish on. He'd promised you he'd return the favour for your next birthday- god your birthday was in less than a week.. he had so many plans but now none of them could happen.. you couldnt be gone, you just couldn't.. he knew better but it was easier to kid himself at least for a few short moments.

The boys were a mess, they'd help John off the boat and to the room he'd shared with you and Alex. They were silent on the trip, Alex and John settled on his mattress while Hercules and Lafayette took Alex's. Your bed was left empty, no one could bear to look at it, they all snuck glances and felt an intense pang of pain at the sight of your made bed, complete empty.

"H-how?" Hercules asks quietly, he didn't want to know the answer but he had too

"Shot" John replies, equally as quiet, he hadn't spoken more than a few words to anyone since it had happened "second day.." 

"You- you didn't mention it in your letters" Alex mentions as John turns to look at him "it wasn't something you could mention in your letters" he corrects quickly 

"Three weeks ago?" Laf asks quietly as tears fill his eyes. John not only had to go through it alone but he had to keep it to himself for three weeks? My god "Mon ami' he sighs softly as he goes over to hug his friend, Hercules following quickly. They stayed there, all crammed into John's bed for what seemed like hours, just existing, they didn't say much except to comfort eachother, there was nothing else they could do. 

Your funeral was held 3 days later, on your birthday of all days. Instead of George distracting you for most of the day while the others ran around preparing your surprise party they were preparing another event, the worst kind of event. George had sent Alex to the meadow with John to pick wild flowers to decorate your coffin with. He didn't want either boys around when you body arrived, he knew it would be too much for alex and John had already gone through so much. Hercules had travelled into town to purchase some food and drink for them, your favourites of course. Lafayette stayed with George, they'd both needed to be on duty so they worked through out the day, dreading as the evening drew closer. 

There was a memorial scheduled to start at 8 but Washington had arranged to have a small private ceremony just before so at 7 he gathered the boys up and they went to say their goodbyes. Alex and John had done a beautiful job, there was flowers tucked into every crevice possible, a beautiful array of flowers taped to the top, George smiled, they'd practically emptied half the meadow for you.

"I'm going to keep this short" George starts after clearing his throat 

"Like Alex" Alexander says with a teary smile, as you'd always responded when George said that 

"Of course" George says as the other boys smile "(Y/N) was an incredible person, I'd always thought of her as a daughter and I'm going to miss her, a lot" he sighs softly as he places a hand on the coffin "I wish I'd told her in person.." he trails off gesturing for someone else to speak.  

"I've known (y/n) since before I even started tailoring, we'd play together while her father was fitted for his suits. Her dad was a kind man who always brought extras of whatever lunch her mum had packed, for her to share with me. it's easy to see where she got her kindness from, and she was so kind, she didn't care what kind of person someone was, if she could help them she was going too" hercules smiles softly "she'd helped me on too many occasions to count, whether it be needing a model for a dress or shooting someone who'd come up behind me.. see told you she'd help in anyway" he chuckled as his eyes laid sight on the coffin "I'm going to miss your pretty face (y/n).. although I'm sure I'll see you in my dreams soon enough" he smiles 

Laf was next, he approached the coffin and placed a hand on it tentatively, as I'd he was scared it would open suddenly "I am thankful everyday that I was brave the day we met ma Cherie.." he says quietly "since that day I've been thankful for you, your laugh your energy and your love. You've been an absolute light in our lives" he says softly as the other smile and nod "j'adore tu' he whispers quietly as he steps back so that Alex could step up 

"W-we fought the first day we met.. Nearly ended up shooting eachother, I'm so glad we didn't because the last three years have been the best, a-all you guys have made me so happy, I truly feel like there's somewhere I belong" alex says wiping away tears furiously, he WOULDNT cry, not again "(Y/N) came to share the room John and I had and from the very first night I could tell we'd be the best of friends, she didn't mind John and I staying up talking for hours, she was the one who started card games that ended in a pillow fight" he giggles as Washington sighs 

"You know how much trouble I got into because you woke up the general across the hall?" He chuckles 

"Yeah enough that we were on washing up duty for a week" John laughs "still worth it though" 

"Definitely" Alex smiles softly as he looks between the coffin and his friends "love you (y/n)" he whispers quietly as he steps back

John sighs softly "Is it wrong that I wish I'd been here?" He asks no one in particular "don't get me wrong, I'm glad I was there for her but I see it every time I close my eyes.." 

"Were here for you son" George says gently as he pats John's shoulder reassuringly 

"Like everyone's already said, she's incredible and it fucking sucks she's gone" John continues, he wasn't the best at public speaking, especially when he was upset "at first I was happy I wasn't going alone but now I wish it was me instead.." he says as the tears start to fall "it's so fucking unfair! Why do-"

"Hey" Alex says gently and hugs him tightly, the other three joining quickly, there was nothing they could do about you but they could be there for John and eachother and they'd get through it, they had to, for you. John pulls away after a few seconds and pulls something out of his coat 

"B-before she.. I wrote these letters for h-her, there's one for each of us, she signed then end of them" he explains and he hands out the letters for the others to read. They stood in silence as they read their letters. John had already heard them and knew his own inside out, he'd read it many times but that didn't stop the sting of tears in his eyes. He looked at the others, Alex and laf had both sat down to read theirs, knowing they wouldn't be able to stand. Hercules stood frozen as he got to the end of his letter, his fingers hovered over where your name was signed, he sighs softly, a small smile spread across his face as he read the stupid joke you'd made John add as a ps.

Washington read his letter slowly, he was already trying to keep in together, he couldn't break down in front of them. The others had never seem him cry before. Unfortunately his eyes had other plans, the tears freely flowing from his eyes as he finished. 

He was going to miss you terribly.

[3pirouette]

Title: An Experimental Design

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3  Anyone else please ask first :) 

Story Summary: Sequel to “What Number?”, also prompted from Steggy Bingo Bash Prompts.  Takes place about a week after that fic. 

Chapter A/N: This chapter is for everyone who has been posting their theories about what will happen. It's always been planned this way since I first started writing, so I hope you enjoy. 

Chapter 8: Fallout

~*~

She held his hand out the door, and in the backseat as they drove back to the base. He didn’t acknowledge the tremor in her hand out loud, or that fact that while they both knew that Howard wouldn’t purposely hurt them, everything about the situation was dangerous and unknown.

She only let go when they arrived at the base, slipping the mask of propriety and duty back on, her worried eyes hiding behind a false confidence he could see right through.

~*~

The very first thing she did when they got back to apartment was run for the bathroom, retching sounds filtering all the way back to Steve at the front door. He moved slowly, taking his time to get to her and allow her some privacy. The procedure itself had been quick and nearly painless: two shots each, right in the upper arm, though Steve’s needles were decidedly larger than the ones they used on Peggy. It had taken them longer to get there and back in the car.

Steve grabbed a washcloth and ran it under cool water as he slipped next to her in the bathroom, handing it to Peggy as he crouched down. “Guess he wasn’t lying about the side effects, huh?”

She nodded, wiping at her mouth and then pillowing her head on her arm, still kneeling at the toilet. “The headache’s started, too.”

He gently ran a hand over her back. “What can I do?”

“I think I’ll stay here for the moment… stomach’s not all that settled yet.”

He rubbed her back gently. “Tea?”

“That would be lovely,” she murmured, her face pinching as she started to feel the waves of nausea again.

Steve let her be, knowing there was little he could do, and set about making her tea. Howard had listed a dozen likely side effects and a few rare ones they were supposed to be aware of that could last hours or days. Howard wasn’t sure how long the doses would last, but he’d given Steve four times more than Peggy and said to keep their fingers crossed and try to avoid excessive touching.

Steve wasn’t going to avoid comforting Peggy while she was crouched over the toilet, but a tiny peck and some gentle touches were hardly the same level of skin to skin contact they’d indulged in recently. He poured the hot water over the tealeaves and waited, watching the water darken. The list of side effects we daunting, but so far, Steve felt fine.

Fine, he thought, was putting it lightly. He felt the clearest he had in days, maybe even months. He opened the kitchen window, taking in the late morning sun and took a deep breath, the light air mixing with the soft scent of Peggy’s tea. He felt awake. Free.

This was working.

The desire he felt for her was just that: desire. It wasn’t the overwhelming lust or the desperate need for her any longer, just the low simmering love he’d felt before all of this started, ready to ignite with a touch or a kiss.

He turned, meeting her eyes as she joined him, staying by the doorway. Her color looked better already, though she had a glassy look still in her eyes. “Better?” he asked.

“Seems, for the mo’ at least.” She took a slow, deep breath in and out. “Headache isn’t too bad,” she grabbed the mug from the counter and took a slow sip, “It’s bearable. You?”

He didn’t want to flaunt his newfound revelations, not when she seemed to be still struggling. “Feeling ok so far.” He shrugged, wanting to reach out. Their directive to not touch made things awkward and stilted.

“I think I’ll take a lie in, just for a bit.” Peggy clutched her mug.

“Yeah,” he waved his hand, nodding over and over again, feeling silly and stupid and suddenly like he was 98 pounds all over again. “Yeah, just… just call if you need me.”

Her lips stayed pressed together when she smiled. Her nod was just as awkward as his, eyes retreating to her tea as she turned.

~*~

He sat on the couch, sketching her through the door to the bedroom. She’d left it open a crack, and he’d quietly widened it when he went to check on her. From his spot curled into the side of the sofa he had a perfect view of her face, overtaken by sleep, her curls falling and lips parted just slightly.

He hoped the vomiting and the headache and the fatigue meant it was working. It was hard not to feel trapped and used, he thought, as he added shading to her cheek. Despite the positive, the time and the touches, and the very clear understanding that they were in love, it felt wrong and broken to be forced together like this.

He wanted them to be living happily in a little apartment or small house in the suburbs because the war was over and they wanted to be there, not because they had to be together even if they did love one another.

The difference was small, but it mattered.

He wished he had a set of pastels to flush out the pink in her cheeks and the red of her nails, some blues and yellows to try to capture the way the sunlight tried to peek through the drawn curtains.

Steve had gotten used to the magnetic pull of her, the need to be around her, to touch her. Yesterday, he wouldn’t have thought twice about shedding his clothes and slipping into bed with her, pressing up against her and holding her close. Now, though the idea appealed to him, he was content to rest on the couch, eyes keeping watch. He hadn’t realized how strong the pull to touch her was from his end until it left him today.

He started to feel his eyelids droop as he smudged the pencil line of the blanket around her shoulder. He wasn’t normally one to nap, but it would help pass the time. Going for the entire day without touching her seemed like a monumental task. He slipped his pencil into his notebook and let it fall on his chest as he stretched out.

A quick catnap would help the day pass faster.

~*~

Peggy rolled, the blankets tangling around her. She took a deep breath, wiggling her fingers and toes and taking stock on how she felt. The nausea was gone, and though she’d slept for what she thought must have been a few hours she didn’t feel refreshed.

She turned, blinking her eyes open. Through the crack in the door she could see Steve, sprawled on the couch that was far too small, head thrown back and mouth wide open, his sketchbook perilously close to falling from his slack fingers on his chest.

She couldn’t help but smile. He seemed so soft, so innocent, so much like that small man she’d first met, even if the sheer size of him made the couch seem more like a piece of child’s furniture. Peggy slipped from the bed, wrapping her robe around herself as she made her way out into the living room. She snuck quietly across the floor, feeling the need to run her fingers through his hair, to be near him.

She wanted to believe it was working, but so far she’d only felt the ill effects that Howard had talked about. They’d have to stay away from one another for hours to see if it truly worked, and based on the pull she felt she wondered if they were even capable of that if they were this close to one another.

She did some quick math, glancing at the clock across the room and decided that it must be doing something. She should have felt something by now. The only thing she felt was the need to be around him, no tingling or discomfort at all.

Peggy stopped at the edge of the couch, one hand holding her robe together, the other gently playing over his hair, touching only enough to feel the softness against her fingertips, not enough to graze his scalp and tempt fate.

She felt a need to wrap herself in him. Not the all-consuming need that had been based in need and pain and sex, but a different kind of feeling that felt like it was spreading from deep in her, to wrap him up and be wrapped in him and stay in this small little apartment until they couldn’t avoid the outside world any longer.

He shifted under her, taking a deep breath and reaching out. She scooted her hips away, avoiding his reach but kept her hand on his head. He groaned unhappily, and she made soothing, shushing noise ass he raked her finger nails through his hair. “We’re already doing a horrible job of not touching, my darling. Let’s not tempt fate.”

He didn’t open his eyes, but he turned, pressing his head into her touch. She reached out, saving the notebook from crashing to the floor. She set it on the coffee table in front of him and smiled, the pencil rolling out and flipping the book open to the picture of her. She kissed his hair, eyes closed softly, warmth radiating through her.

The little apartment felt warm, home, and enough for now. She wasn’t in pain, wasn’t hurting, and she had Steve. It was enough, could be enough, for now at least. She slipped into the kitchen, trying to keep things as quiet as she could while she made herself another cup of tea. Would he still sketch when there were chores to be done? Would they still be so gentle with one another when the stresses of daily life were different? Would he stay with the SSR? Would they let her keep being a spy or cast her off, saying women weren’t necessary when there wasn’t a war on? There were so many unknowns, but she still somehow felt warm, solid, and happy.

Whatever Howard’s hormones were doing to her, she didn’t much mind; it was the calmest she’d felt in weeks.  

~*~

She was still sitting in the kitchen, the dregs of her tea cold in her hands, when Steve lumbered in, eyes glazed over. She watched as he pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it from the tap, chugging the contents down before refilling it over and over again. He drank with a singlemindedness that put her on edge. It was only after he’d drank what she thought was nearly a gallon that he stopped, hands on the edge of the counter, panting to catch his breath.

“Thirsty?” Peggy asked quietly, unsure if he’d even registered she was in the room.

He took a slow, deep breath and hung his head. “Yeah I—” He took another and turned, wiping the drips of water from his lips. “I woke up and I just felt like I hadn’t had anything to drink in days.” His eyes caught the afternoon sun out the window. “How long was I asleep?”

She smiled, standing and walking her mug to the sink. “We both lost a few hours there, I think. It’s almost 4.” She turned, brushing his hair from his eyes, looking him over. “Are you alright otherwise?”

He nodded quickly, almost too quickly for her liking. “Yeah, I’m… I’m just… didn’t think I’d sleep that long. I’m a little out of it.”

She let her lips kiss his shoulder, careful to keep her skin away from his. “We can continue to blame stress and Hydra. I’ll have it no other way.”

He set his hands on her hips, as careful as she was. “How about you? Still feeling alright?”

She nodded, a smile on her lips. “Stomach’s still a touch unhappy, but I think that’s more from not eating since early this morning. Otherwise, I’m…” she shrugged her shoulders, still cautious about expressing her happiness, “zero.” She couldn’t help the way the smile bloomed on her face. “We haven’t touched enough for me to not feel something by now. I don’t want to go too far, but I’m…optimistic.”

“Good, good.” He smiled tightly, his eyes struggling with something he didn’t want to share. His hands were awkward at her hips, like he had to remind himself to be gentle with her, and his shoulders were stiff. She narrowed her eyes at him, waiting. They knew each other well enough that she didn’t have to say anything for him to know he’d been caught. He shook his head, resigned and stepping away. “I think whatever side effects I’m going to get are hitting me now. I just feel… weird. A little… I don’t know. I can’t explain it.”

“What can I do?” She asked, stepping back and giving him some more space as he leaned back against the counter.

He looked out the window, crossing his arms and shaking his head. After a long, quiet moment he licked his lips and turned back to her. “Let me make dinner… well, early dinner. Maybe it’ll help me focus.”

Peggy didn’t like the way he looked: a little sallow, eyes a little hollow, the way he looked after he’d been hurt in a firefight and he was trying to be brave for everyone else. She backed away, giving him the room. “I’ll be reading, just call if you need help.”

His smile was genuine, even if it didn’t reach his eyes. “I think I can handle some chicken and dehydrated mashed potatoes.”

Peggy licked her lips, eyes still dead set on him. She thought about joking, about trying to break the tension, but she couldn’t shake the feeling something hadn’t gone quite right with his dose. “I can call Howard, he could be here in fifteen minutes he said if anything went wrong.”

This time, the smile did make it to his eyes. “I’m fine, Peg. I promise.” He crossed to her, taking her head in his hand and dropping a kiss on her forehead. “And I’ll tell you if I’m not, ok?”

It was the sincerity in his eyes that finally gave her some sense of footing. “Alright.” She stepped back, removing the temptation to give in to more touching. “Don’t burn my potatoes.”

~*~

Peggy’s stomach was growling loud enough for Steve to hear by the time he announced dinner was ready. She tried to make a joke of it, but it fell flat as he set a full plate in front of her.

They ate silently, Steve quietly watching Peggy as she filled her mouth, struggling to keep her lips closed and be ladylike as she chewed. “I’m starved,” she tried to justify with a little laugh between bites, feeling his eyes on her. He ate sparingly, his eyes darting to her each time she took a bite. “Must be the…” she stopped, putting another spoonful in her mouth, watching as Steve only nodded, agreeing to say it was ‘just another side effect.’ She scraped the end of the mashed potatoes from her plate, wrapping her tongue around the spoon, eyes widening in confusion when Steve switched out his mostly full plate for her empty one. “Darling?”

He kept his face carefully blank. “Aren’t you hungry?”

She tipped her head, looking at him cautiously. She was very aware of how much Steve’s increased metabolism needed food, and knew very well how much he could eat. “Aren’t you? You’ve barely eaten.”

“You need it more.”

She smiled, trying to break the tense look in his eyes. “I was just hungry. I’m fine now. And there’s plenty more if—”

He dropped his fork on the empty plate in front of him, standing and pacing away. The air in the room was suddenly thick and it reminded her off too many debriefs where they’d lost and he felt responsible. The deja-vu nearly choked her it hit her so hard, but it helped her re-center and take charge of the situation.

She squared her shoulders, staring at his back. “Tell me.”

“I have to take care of you,” he bit out, grabbing the top of the kitchen doorframe and leaning into it.

With his arms up his shirt tightened around him and she could see just how tense he was, his muscles corded and ready for a fight. She stood slowly, cautiously closing this distance between them. “You are, Steve.” Her voice was soft but sure, and she left no room for arguments. “I’ve never been safer than I am at this very moment.”

He turned so fast she barely registered he’d moved before she was in his arms, his forehead pressed against her tight. It wasn’t concern, but pain on his face: his eyes shut tight, jaw working to try to find the words. “You’re not,” he finally whispered. “Everything in me is screaming that I’m not keeping you safe and…” he dropped his head, gathering her closer and burying his face in her neck. He took a deep breath in like he was breathing her into himself, trying to take her in and surround her. “I need to do better,” he muttered, “I have to do better.”

Peggy was stunned, and could do nothing but wrap her arms around him and hold him tight as he held her.

This was not a side effect Howard had prepared them for.

She cradled his face in her hands, gently pushing him back so she could see his eyes. “I am safe, Steve. I am here, with you, and I am perfectly safe.” She let her hand wipe at the sweat that started to show at his brow, over his jaw and down to his neck where she could feel his racing pulse finally starting to slow. She kissed him gently, pulling away before he could react to her lips. “I am fine. What do I need to do to help you see that?”

His eye squinted shut again as he shook his head. “Don’t know,” he mumbled, making her want to hold him close until whatever this was passed. She’d never seen him like this and it scared her.

She kissed him again, and this time, she could feel his pulse start to slow more the longer they touched.

Even if this was working for her, it seemed to be only hurting him.

Peggy pulled her lips away, pressing her cheek to his and running her hand up and down his back until his pulse quieted under her fingers. When he was significantly calmer, she finally broke the silence. “We need to call Howard.”

It was like he’d never been calm, the way his pulse jumped under her fingers and how his hands grasped tightly at her waist, holding her possessively to him. “No.”

She leaned back, eyes stern. “Steve…”

He shook his head, turning away from her to try to hide whatever it was he was feeling. “We have to go back tomorrow, anyway. Just…” He sighed, turning back to her, his eyes sad and begging. “Not yet, ok?”

If he’d said anything else, she would have fought him, but the words echoed her own past pleading to avoid doctors so closely that she found she couldn’t deny him. He’d always followed her lead, and she found she could do no less. She swallowed hard, and nodded. “But you have to eat something,” she heard herself say, unsure of where it came from or why it was suddenly so important to her.

At his nod she pulled him to the table, sitting him back down in his chair and then scooting his full plate back in front of him. He looked at it, then looked back up at her, and she could only shake her head at him.

She should have been angry, but instead she felt like she was soothing some large, wounded animal laying at her feet, unsure of how to take care of himself now that his fight was over. She perched herself on his lap, reaching over and taking the fork to feed him.

Steve’s hand stopped her own, eyes bewildered at his own actions. “Are you… are you sure you ate enough? You’re not hungry?”

She let her free hand fall over his cheek, resting at his shoulder. “That’s how you’re taking care of me?” He opened his mouth to answer, but he huffed air from his nose as he shrugged and shook his head. He didn’t know, and she didn’t, either. “Alright, then.”

Peggy, nowhere near hungry but understanding baser instincts when she saw them, took a small bite off the end of the piece of chicken on the fork. She held the rest out to him as she chewed, their eyes locked as he pulled the piece from the fork with his teeth and ate it.

It almost made her feel better that Steve seemed as baffled by his behavior as she was, that his eyes were lost and frustrated as he seemed to need to wait until she ate before he could, though as they neared the end of the plate, he took the fork from her and fed himself, his grasp somewhat looser as he held her in his lap.

“First thing tomorrow, no delaying,” she demanded softly as he pushed the plate away. He nodded and she moved from his lap, busying herself and her mind with the dishes. She tried to avoid the racing questions, the wild what-ifs that started to run through her mind as she cleaned the pans and plates, Steve still sitting quietly behind her.

She couldn’t help but smile when she felt him behind her as she stood at the sink, rinsing the last plate. It felt more like the way things had been for him to step up behind her with her hands filled with soap suds. He pressed tight against her, chest to back, and let his hands wrap around her, holding her low on her belly. His nose nuzzled against her nape as she set the last plate to dry, leaning back into him. She heard him take a deep breath in, the air tickled over her skin and made her shiver.

Peggy reached one arm up behind her, letting her fingers tangle in his hair, holding his lips against her flesh as he began to kiss and nip. It was different from how he’d held her at the sink the other day: it was more insistent, more possessive. She tried to avoid the dark thoughts that wanted to seep into her mind as he touched her. He needed her touch right now, and that’s all she cared about.

She couldn’t help but wonder if this was how he felt every time she’d come to him, worked up and needing something only he could give.

Steve growled, low in his throat. It was deep and dark and domineering and something about it excited her. They were supposed to be avoiding touching, but she had barely touched him all day and she felt starved for him.

He felt wound up behind her, the power in his body held back and ready to burst. She wondered if it was the hormones or just the feeling of finally deciding to allow herself to touch him after all the hours of trying to stay apart. Either way, it had been hours since they’d touched before dinner and she felt no pain, no tingling, no discomfort but she yearned for him like she couldn’t explain.

He spun her in his arms, lifting her on to the counter and taking her lips. She kissed him back, happy to let him take the lead, his eyes dark with lust.

~*~

He held her possessively as he slept, in a way Peggy couldn’t ever remember Steve holding her before. On one hand, she felt safe and protected, but on the other, this new, darker side to him was concerning. It was the only reason she’d relented, the only reason she’d allowed him to touch her.

She’d only seen it when she couldn’t process it: when she’d been in so much pain and his skin was the only thing that would bring her relief. She could almost remember the look on his face in the hospital, and again when he crashed through the wall, but tonight she could see his eyes, feel the energy burning through him and she knew, she knew deep down, something about what Howard had done had caused this switch in him.

Touching him helped, just like it had helped her, but he said he didn’t feel pain. He couldn’t describe it to her beyond the idea of keeping her safe. She didn’t know what that meant to him, didn’t know why it tapped into his need to see her eat, then to see her safely to the bedroom, to hold her until he needed to touch and kiss her again, then to hold her until he fell asleep.

She wasn’t sure if the touching was helping all that much, but at least he was asleep.

The knot of anxiety in her stomach started to rise, acid burning and that sickly wave feeling ran through her as she broke out in a sweat. She tried to push away from him but his arms twined around her tighter.

“Mine,” he mumbled in his sleep.

“Steve, let go,” she pushed against him while attempting to slow the rising nausea within her, but trying to move his arms was like trying to dislodge metal clamps. “Please, I have to—”

She knew he wasn’t fully awake, she’d encountered this sleepy, half cognizant Steve before. Usually, he was soft and gentle and smiled at her. This one grumbled and repeated his possession of her, holding tight.

Finally, Peggy could take it no more. She kicked him between the legs, hard, and scrambled to the edge of the bed when he loosened his grip. She didn’t make it to the bathroom, but managed to vomit on the floor, avoiding ruining the bed.

By the time she turned back he was wide awake, pressed up on his elbow, eyes clearer than she’d seen them in hours. She wiped at her lips with the back of her hand, kicking her way out of the blankets and climbing out of the bed from the bottom, avoiding looking at him.

“Peggy…” He sat, still confused, “what…”

She nearly ran from the room, making it to the bathroom just in the nick of time. When there was nothing left to come back up, she flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth before heading back to the bedroom.

The lights were on and Steve was drying the floor where he’d cleaned up her mess. He stopped and stood when she leaned on the doorjamb, spent. “Peggy, I’m so sorry.” He looked down at the towel in his hand and then tossed it over by the laundry bag before looking up to her, his blue eyes full of confusion and sadness. “I’ll call Howard right now.”

She nodded, hands still shaking a bit from vomiting. “I’m going to make a cup—”

“I’ve got it,” he said quickly, moving to her and pressing a kiss to her hair before lifting her from her feet and setting her on the bed. “Lay down, I’ll bring it in after I’ve called Howard.”

She watched him go, tears pricking at the back of her eyes. She wanted to argue, but he seemed clearer, more like himself, and she was afraid to open up whatever Pandora’s Box was behind his need to take care of her, at least until Howard got there.

Peggy slipped back into bed, building the pillows up behind her. She might be better, but that meant nothing if Steve was worse.

[inawickedlittletown]

Walking The Wire (109/?)

Summary: Tony Stark always knew about Peter Parker. He didn’t know that Peter was going to get superpowers and become Spider-Man, but he always knew about Peter because Peter was his son.

This will span from pre-Iron Man up through the rest of the MCU (eventually including Infinity War) and will be for the most part canon compliant except where I’ve taken some liberties and interpreted canon a certain way.

Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Tony/Steve (endgame), Tony/Mary (past)

A/N: If you want me to tag you when I post new chapters let me know. This fic is also on AO3

I used Collider’s MCU timeline to stay canon and the title of this fic is an Imagine Dragons song that is just so fitting for Peter and Tony

@findmeinthestarss

Masterpost

Chapter One Hundred Eight

2018

Ben & Jerry’s came out with a whole bunch of new flavors that were Avengers inspired. Peter found out when Ned texted him and MJ about it in a group text. Later, when he got home from school, he found out that not only were there new flavors, but that Ben & Jerry had gone ahead and sent them at the tower a few pints of each of the new flavors.

“This is amazing,” Peter said when he peered into the freezer. “Did you know this was happening?”

“Despite your metabolism, I don’t expect that eating all of it at once would be wise,” his dad said. “And no, I didn’t.”

“How long do you think they’ve been working on this?” Sam asked. He was leaning against one of the counters and already digging into a pint box of the A Hunka-Hulka-Burning Fudge. “Don’t they take years creating flavors?”

“Not sure. Don’t care,” Tony said and reached into the freezer to pull out Cap-ilicious Triple Berry.  “All I know is that apparently I’m not off dairy and that this is delicious.”

“I would have thought they’d do a more patriotic look to Cap’s ice cream,” Sam said.

Peter reached blindly for one of the containers so he wouldn’t have to make a choice and he saw his dad shrug as he took a bite of the Cap inspired ice cream. Peter had wound up with Stark Raving Hazelnuts which really was not all bad. It was certainly a nice thing to come home to. He took another bite and then took a picture of the ice cream to send to Ned.

“You know, I’m really glad we got a wedding planner,” Tony said as he looked through a few cake design options.

Steve who was in the middle of painting something laughed. “You mean, you’re glad Pepper got us a wedding planner even though this whole thing was supposed to be a small thing because Peter despite his excitement is still just a teenage boy that knows next to nothing about weddings.”

Tony shrugged. “Sure, what you said. But I’m still glad. Anyway, people like parties. And at this rate we just really have to make a few choices and then just show up. We can even leave early if you really want. What are you painting anyway?”

“The view,” Steve said and sure enough he was. Everything outside the window had been transferred to the canvas. It wasn’t exact -- more of an abstract, but that didn’t make it any less beautiful. Tony had never really understood art or even bothered to like it -- but that didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate everything that Steve created.

His art room had filled up with more and more art since Steve had finally focused on his hobby. He wasn’t obsessive, but he spent hours painting away or sketching. It kept him entertained and Tony was happy about it. He liked that Steve had something to do that was all his own. Tony also loved watching him do it -- the concentration that he put into his art was unlike anything else. In another lifetime, it was possible that Steve would have just become some artist that everyone admired.

Tony got up. “I’ll leave you to it. I have a bit of work to finish up in the lab.”

Steve nodded. Tony pressed a kiss to his temple and walked out of the room. He found Sam and Wanda watching some odd cartoon and then spotted Vision in the kitchen.

“Hey, Viz.”

Vision and Wanda spent a lot of time on their own on their floor but it wasn’t odd to find them up in the penthouse some days. What Tony found weird about it was that Vision seemed to be more and more human-like these days. He had started dressing like a regular person a long time ago but now he seemed to not mind changing his appearance to look human. It was a little strange.  

“A letter arrived for you,” Vision said.

“That’s odd,” Tony said. “We usually don’t get any mail sent up here.”

“It is possible someone brought it up and left it in the kitchen for you to find,” Vision said.

“Right,” Tony said but it all still sounded a bit odd.

Vision didn’t respond and he picked up the bowl of popcorn and went to join Wanda and Sam in the living room. The letter was in a manila envelope and Tony figured he’d take it with him, but his mind was already turning to the new designs he’d been working on. Natasha was already out of her house arrest unlike the rest of them and she’d been cleared to rejoin The Avengers officially. It also meant that she was free to do whatever Fury wanted from her and Tony wanted to give her the best gear to do that with.

The heater in the Spider-Man suit was one of the best things ever. It meant that Peter could actually patrol without feeling the brisk cold air. It had snowed a few days earlier and there was gray and dark dirty snow on the edges of most streets. Peter also found that most rooftops were covered and useless to him. But he was still out and about for a few hours.

But it turned out that when it was cold out that there wasn’t a lot of crime to go after. Not a lot of people were out unless they needed to be. Peter did save a woman from slipping on ice.

“Anything going on, Karen? I’m kind of getting bored.”

“Not that I can tell,” Karen said.

“I should have just gone and trained with Steve. I guess it’s a good thing, right, that nothing is happening.”

“I believe so, Peter.”

He swung off of a fire escape and headed towards the tower. Maybe he’d just go and actually work on his homework. There was an essay due in a few days that he should get on top of. His junior year of high school had brought along a ton more work and college was a thing that everyone was starting to get worried about. Tony liked to mention MIT in passing all the time and then May brought it up in her own way too, always hinting at how Peter would need to give up Spider-Man for it and Peter just -- he didn’t want to think about that.

He got back to the tower to find Natasha was back from a mission and sitting in the living room with Sam, Steve, Wanda, and Vision.

“Hey, Peter,” Natasha said. She had a split lip and yet she still smiled at him.

“We left you food in the kitchen,” Steve said. “We also left food for Tony if you want to bring some to him.”

“Cool. Thanks. I will.”

Food turned out to be sub sandwiches so after getting back into his normal clothes, Peter just grabbed both and went to the workshop. He was expecting to find Tony working, but instead his dad was looking at paperwork.

“Hungry?” Peter asked.

His dad turned to look at him. “Oh, you’re home. I -- I must have lost track of time.”

“What are you working on?” Peter asked.

“Nothing. Nothing. Just something that got in the mail today got me a bit distracted.” He waved his hand and the display disappeared. “Anyway, food. How was school today? Patrol?”

“Same. Not much going on.”

Tony nodded. He was oddly distracted. It made Peter worry a little. His dad only tended to get weird when something was happening.

“Did I ever tell you that I can’t actually have kids,” Tony said after they’d sat in silence eating for a while.

“No,” Peter said, not sure where the conversation was going. “I mean, maybe. I kind of think I knew that already.”

Tony nodded. “I -- it was to do with the arc reactor. Anyway, there was a time when I didn’t think that I would ever meet you or that it would make a difference because you were growing so fast and I never needed my parents when I was your age -- well, I probably did but I didn’t really have them. I guess that’s what makes more sense.”

“What are you getting at?” Peter asked. He was so confused.

Tony sighed and he wiped his mouth with a napkin and then he got up and grabbed a few sheets of paper. “A while back I applied to adopt. Sort of on a whim. Sort of because I really wanted to be a dad since at the time I couldn’t really be yours. I thought I’d never get to meet you. It takes time to adopt and I had forgotten about it just because of everything that happened. Actually -- I don’t remember if I told Steve about it. Thing is, nothing came of it and then I met you.”

Peter remembered a conversation about his dad possibly wanting other kids and how much Peter just -- he didn’t know how to feel about it. He hadn’t really let himself think about any of it especially since Tony had said he wasn’t sure if anything might happen.

“But why are you -- what’s that paper?” Peter motioned to the papers that Tony was holding.

“They want to know if I’m still interested,” Tony said.

“Oh,” Peter said.

Tony let out a breath. “I don’t think this is the right time,” Tony said. “Not for any of us.”

“Oh,” Peter said again and it was as if he didn’t know how to say anything else. He just -- he didn’t know if his dad wanted his opinion or if he was just telling Peter about it to tell him. Peter was also quite sure that he didn’t know how to feel.

It was getting closer to the end of the school year when a school trip was announced and Peter was dismayed to hear that it was a tour of SI. MJ cackled and laughed for a solid minute once she found out and just wouldn’t let it go all throughout lunch and then later when they were walking out of Midtown. Ned on the other hand seemed as excited as everyone else. The trip wasn’t for another few weeks, but Peter was already dreading it. He just knew that it wasn’t going to go well. He had kept the fact that he was living at the tower a secret from everyone including Ned and Michelle for over a year and this was going to be thing that finally revealed that to them -- he could just feel it.

“Aha, so we finally get to find out that Penis Parker has been lying about that internship all this time,” Flash said when he walked past them.

Peter rolled his eyes.

“Or prove Flash wrong,” Ned said. “This is actually really awesome. Do you think any of the Avengers will show up?”

Peter shook his head. “It’s not a trip to the living floors. Just the labs and SI. They don’t usually go down there.”

“But wouldn’t it be awesome if Flash saw you talking to them and they ignored him.”

Peter settled him with a look. “That’s not going to happen, Ned.”

When he got back home, he almost hesitated to mention the whole thing. He was going to have to get May to sign the permission slip since she was still his guardian, but if Peter was going to go -- and he really couldn’t not without giving ammunition to Flash to make fun of him with -- he was going to have to make sure that he did appear to be an intern at SI. Peter couldn’t remember the last time he had gone down to those floors of the building. He assumed that the trip was going to be geared towards the R&D rooms. Maybe he could get Pepper to help him out with making his story seem legitimate.

He ran into Steve as he was getting out of the elevator.

“Hey, Peter,” Steve said. “Not patrolling today?”

“I might go out later,” Peter said and followed Steve to the kitchen where Sam was in the middle of taking cookies out of the oven.

“Well we were planning on a movie if you want to join,” Sam said.

“Yeah, I will,” Peter said. It offered for the perfect distraction. He would figure out what he was going to do about the trip later.

Chapter One Hundred Ten

[uniblogyear2semester2]

The beginning – week 1 

Another great start to a new semester in game design prototyping, again juan took the lecture and set us off on a very quick journey to a new destination on the course.

This semester we are to create a 3rd person game with a very lenient brief meaning we can base the game off of anything we wanted really in terms of themes and dynamics.

At the end of the first lecture juan told us to split off into pairs and come up with a 2-minute pitch idea for a story and so me and paddy split off into our partnership and started coming up with ideas for the coming presentation next week.

Immediately I already had an idea as I had my mind set on a theme and story for a while.

I wanted to create a medieval fantasy adventure game with a different post-apocalyptic theme embedded within it and so I started to ponder more thoughts into that and coming up with a good story and plot for it as well as exploring the lore.

Over the course of the next week I had come up with an idea which I absolutely loved and so did paddy, he was on-board. The idea came to be “The Blight”, I have created a brief description of the blight to give a little context.

“The story is set 5 years after the war where a great tragedy befell one kingdom turning it into the blight. The blight, slowly devouring the world birthing creatures of nightmare and demon spawn from its dark magical essence. The story follows Elias Lycian, a renowned ranger tasked with protecting the borders of the Bree kingdom from the blight and its many evils.

Elias accompanied by his 4 legged companion, Sphax are to watch the borderlands of the kingdom and protect it from the inevitable approaching death that the blight brings forth.”

Now that is just a very brief description of the idea that I have and I will go into more detail on the idea if it gets chosen next week as a project to work on for the semester so fingers crossed.

Week 2

So it was presentation day today and we absolutely smashed it, paddy left the talking to me and was designated PowerPoint clicker. Luckily my idea was chosen which I am very happy about. We managed to get six people who wanted to work on our idea but despite that me and the lads all still wanted to work with each other just like previous projects as for some reason we seem to work very well together despite being friends although this time around we have the addition of Ryan so in total there are myself as the narrative director, programmer and assistant artist. Toby is the project lead as he is better at the managerial tasks than I am. Paddy and Brad as our artists again and as well as Ryan who is also an artist and a very good modeller.

The workload this week for myself is to construct a one page game design document to outline the concept of the game, the mechanics, gameplay and other important elements.

After having completed the GDD I’m very happy with the amount of detail that I put into it and I’m very certain that the group will be too, this is a very important piece as it is the base foundation for the group to work on. Im happy with the amount if detail that we put into it though I am looking forward to the extended GDD where I have more space to write about the idea.

Week 3

Me and the group had a scrum meeting today and all decided what it was we were going to do this week and we looked over everything we did last week and I was impressed with Ryans wolf I must say was quite impressive especially at this stage. Paddy’s art work was good and brad made a basic log cabin for us to work with. In terms of workload this week for me I was tasked with working on an environment piece as well as some character development. The environment is a piece where Elias is stood at his post looking into the blight and at the black figure staring back at him. Im really happy with the outcome of the piece although I want to go back over it at a later stage and add more detail and the same for the character sketches that I am working on. I still feel as though we need to be producing more work as a group at this point and so next week I think we all need to have a talk about where its going.

Week 4

This week I happened to miss juans lecture due to a personal matter but none the less I managed to reconvene with the group outside of class and get to grounds with what the ball plan was.

For me this week I had to create the start of the alpha prototype level and I already knew what I had in mind, I knew it would be tough as I haven’t used the unity level design features for quite some time but I got back into swing of things fairly quickly.

The level would coincide with the story as the section of the level that I have built is the hill side where the rangers live in the log cabin which overlooks the blight and is the border that they have to protect, obviously I am not able to make a full border for the kingdom but I started on a specific section overlooking the forest and village which is my plan anyway.

This week I managed to complete a good section of the map, which was just the borderlands, hillside and cabin. Ill insert the images I too below. Due to it being the alpha stages I used very basic textures to provide some depth for the player to appreciate. The cabin and all of the assets are still very basic but in a few more weeks it will look much better. In terms of narrative this will be the first level in which the ranger, Elias who the player will control is tracking a demon that managed to cross the border and venture into the kingdom towards the village which I have yet to create. We are quite a fair way away from using any combat features yet but hopefully soon we will see some action.

 We are using a place holder character model for now also until the artists make our own, the group as of now are working very poorly for the most part, everyone is very demotivated but im hoping that will change around soon. I need to work on the story a little more at some point but I think next week I will continue with the level and hopefully have something more presentable and fully fledged although I think one of the main priorities is to actually have gameplay rather than a level as juan said. That Is something myself and the group need to realise as the alpha testing stages are coming up quickly. Im very happy with the work I have done this week, I would have liked to have had more of our own models and assets to play with but unfortunately we aren’t there yet so I did what I could with what I had. The level itself I think looks nice. It still needs a lot of work of course but I want to have a finished alpha level by next week so I will be keeping updates on how the next sprint goes but all in all im happy with the work I put in, though I always feel I could do more and so I will try and better myself each time.

 Week 5

This week was more of a semi productive week, as I mentioned in my last post I was aiming to have more work done on the alpha level for the game, im really enjoying the level design at the minute. Unfortunately my laptop decided to break half way through the week which set me back quite a lot and so it wasn’t until the day before the deadline that I was able to actually continue with the work when it was back up and running. I mapped out the rest of the level world for the most part, there is still a great deal to be done but for the alpha I think it will be okay. I added a very small settlement with brads new cabin variants in a circle formation down at the bottom of the map at the base of a rough mountain formation.

I added a few more forests around the world too but the only problem is that if I add too many the game will really lag due to the high poly count of each tree. I then went around and start to change the terrain a little more to add more variation from the flat plain, I also added a few place holder textures into the world also.

One thing I really wanted to focus on was a water fall but I am not yet skilled enough to actually use the particle effect system effectively and so I managed to make a river and I am going to leave the waterfall for now. The water I used for the river was also a place holder texture object but it is very effective for what we need at this stage.

The main struggle for our group at the minute is motivation, everyone is still doing the bare minimum and its putting us behind massively, there’s no passion this semester for some reason and it is very frustrating. I really do want to make an amazing game and I know that we can if we apply ourselves.

The upcoming code for the game will be very difficult to actually accomplish and it will require many hours of watching tutorials to figure out how to actually make it work, we need enemy AI’s, player health, damage calculation, sword and bow combat, the enemy attack function and a lot more, there is a lot to do but there are only two programmers and we aren’t the most experienced by any means so this is going to be a big struggle to accomplish but I think we might just manage it. 

Overall im happy with the work that I produced though I wish I had more time to do more and to a higher professional standard.

Week 6

This week was a very slow week and very little was accomplished despite my hours of effort due to my skill level now being high enough.

My task for the week was to figure out a way to make combat within the game and use various scripts to make this combat work effectively. I spent roughly 9 + hours watching videos and trying to figure out combat for the game but I just couldn’t do it, either the type of combat wasn’t correct for the 3rd person camera or the scripts would clash with the character within our game. After spinning my wheels for so long I decided to go with another approach. None of the methods I had tried worked so I started to watched a tutorial series from scratch on a personal scene in unity until I had some solid combat working. I had to create a new, different type of 3rd person controller and followed along as well as I could. This camera was a point and click camera without the use of WASD for movement though if required I think I would be able to implement that in to the script.

The series is very long and the combat doesn’t come into it until about two thirds of the way through but I don’t want to miss anything out. The game mainly focuses on the use of an interactive script which all of the other scripts reference so they use everything within that script. I think this script will be derived into the combat script eventually. I have started somewhat creating an inventory system for the game which is very confusing but I’m following along the best I can and making it my own as I do.

I think I will be sticking with this work for the coming weeks but I think I need to look back at the story at some point to see how that it coming along and how we can reference it into the game and make it an immersive experience.

 Week 7 – following the events of the 27th of march

Unfortunately, I was met with some events which would really off road my progress in the group more than I would’ve liked. On my birthday the 27th of march I went out to celebrate with some friends and a group of people decided to start some trouble which ultimately resulted in me breaking my leg and so from this I was forced to move back home leaving all of my work station in my accommodation barren for a few weeks. Due to this the amount of work I was able to put in was limited as keeping track of everyone and with everyone was extremely hard as I prefer to communicate and sort things out in person and due to me not being able to I found it very hard to adapt.

I found this whole thing extremely frustrating as I put in a great deal of effort into the game and the narrative and level building side of things and to make matters worse my laptop broke again and that took me a fair while to get it repaired and once it was repaired it wouldn’t let me unity game function properly and so I was no longer able to have an input in the game which wasn’t the end of the world, I could still help with the managerial tasks such as presentations, game design documents and story etc.

Luckily, I had already built the game world and it only needed a few extra tweaks which I believe toby added. I managed to get to call Toby 3 times per week and he tried to keep me up to date on what everyone was doing and how things were going and so my input at this point was more verbal than physical to the group but we managed with what we could.

 Week 10

This week we had external testing or the group did and unfortunately I wasn’t able to be there due to my current circumstance which Is extremely annoying in all honesty, you put so much effort into the game and the story for the game and then I cant even access the game on unity and am unable to get to Salford to view the testing session but despite all of that I rang toby as soon as he was finished and he told me everything went find, he sent me over a copy of the external testing notes and we went over and I gave him all the feedback and aid I could on how we could improve the game based upon what the others had said. 

All in all though it looks very positive so far, the game itself looks really nice and runs really nice. The features are coming along nicely apart from the combat doesn’t seem to be working and in all honesty I don’t think myself or anyone else in the group is able to achieve the level of combat that we want but none the less I spent many hours doing so when I was back at uni but never came to a successful conclusion.

So for this week I mainly went back over all the work we had done that I could access and made some rough adjustments and touch ups to refine everything and helped out with looking over the feedback we received about the game. I am very happy with everything so far and the changes I have made and I look forward to seeing where the game ends up in the future.

 Week 11

Okay so this week I really enjoyed and I don’t really know why. Long story short I had to start on the game design document for the blight, now the game design document is a much bigger and more detailed version of the one page game design document and therefore requires much more attention to detail.

I once again referred back to the work I did for the GDD on the game escape from north korea just to give me a nod in the right direction and im really glad I looked back over it as it gave me a great idea on what else I needed to include and many other aspects that I could improve on, for example the north korea game was very bare bones compared to what I had planned for this one and although I cant complete all of the sections there are still a great deal of sections for me to complete especially from the narrative stand point. 

For me one of the most important areas in any game document is the context and concept overview of the game as this is what people first read and need to know about your game, luckily I gave this quite a lot of thought when I created the one page document and so I had a great starting point to follow. 

The game overview was split into 5 sections:

·      Game concept

·      Genre

·      Target audience

·      Game flow summary

·      Look and feel

For me this section of the document is the most interesting and the most fun to talk about and explain. It is also the most relevant section for me to explain as im the one who came up with the game idea and story itself so I think im qualified enough to talk about it.

This section took me a good while as I wanted to make sure that I got all of the information down that was necessary and really gave our game justice. Though it’s a very mundane task going through each individual point I still had to do it.

When it came to the target audience section I was able to get down some detailed information because I referenced back to the testing session we did or that the group did and looked at if the people who played it particularly the ones who fit the demographic of our target audience enjoyed it, this gave me very good insight when it came to explain the target audience and why we think that they would like it.

For the next section of the document I had to talk about the Gameplay and mechanics which in my opinion is probably the most boring to explain as we want to talk about what the game is, not how it works but even so I had to complete the following sections.

·      Gameplay

·      Game progression

·      Mission/challenge structure

·      Puzzle structure

·      Objectives

·      Mechanics

·      Physics

·      Movement in the game

·      Objects

·      Actions

·      Combat

·      Economy

·      Screen Flow

As you can see there are many different points that make up the gameplay and mechanics section and so this did take me a while as I found it harder to explain the more technical side of the game as a pose to the story and conceptual side but even so I managed to get through it.

Now even though there are many points here, not all of them apply to our game in particular, these are just template points to discuss but even so I had to talk about why we did or did not choose to include that certain point. I know in our game we don’t have an economy system and so I explained why that was instead of just leaving it out. 

One thing I wish that out game had was a working combat system as I feel that this is a very key thing most games should have but even though we don’t I explained what we do have instead. Even though the combat system does not work I still think that the story out shines this aspect which is something I’m happy about.

For this week that is everything I managed to complete as it took me a while to go back over and check through everything making sure I hit all of the relative points that needed to be explained. Next week I am to complete the further sections of the GDD.

If I could go back and change anything which I probably will is the content within the mechanics section as I feel that this was the weakest part for me to talk about and due to it being one of the most important parts I think it deserves to be revisited.

 Week 12

As I said in last weeks post this week I was continuing on with game design document and have rounded it up to a very nice conclusion for the parts that I was assigned. Before I started the sections for this week I firstly went back and took another look over the mechanics section for the game as I don’t feel I did it justice in my first draft. I find it hard to explain these sorts of things in a good detailed technical manner and so I referenced a little bit more and later came to something that I consider a good level and just for a further piece of mind I asked toby to go over and look at the parts I wasn’t sure about to see if there���s anything that he would add. 

The sections that I went through this week were very fun to talk about and just seemed to flow, I still referenced my older work in order to have a direction on where to go but less was needed this time around.

The first point that I had to talk about was the Story, Setting and Character section and the points are as follows:

·      Story and narrative

·      General look and feel of the world

·      Areas of the world

·      Characters

As I said earlier I found this section extremely enjoyable and easier to talk about as the narrative story and world building side of a game is my niche and what I love to do and so discussing these parts was a breeze but none the less I checked over it many of times to ensure that I applied the greatest level of detail that I could.

My favourite sub points to discuss were the story and narrative and the characters as these are two of the main focus points of the game and are also things I spent hours coming up with and developing way before the game was even in prototyping stages.

The last section which I started on but did not finish was the Levels section. The reason I did not finish this is because toby has a better understanding of this section and so he wanted to go over it himself.

Overall I’m really happy with the amount of work that I put into this section and I would struggle to go back over and change anything.

Week 14

This weeks work load was a shorter one as we are nearing the deadline date and all I had to do was complete the relative slides on the presentation and because I am unable to be there I gave toby some notes and things to talk about in my stead. I gave a brief summary on the slides and the things to talk about and I think the group will do a very good job

Week15

Well this week I heard back from the group and they said that the presentation went okay but not as well as expected which is slightly disappointing but I cannot judge as I wasn’t even there to help them out which is extremely frustrating as I put the effort in but am unable to actually show the game I’m passionate about off.

Now we are closing in on the deadline I had to fill out the peer assessment form and so I thought I might just explain what it was that I actually put down for the members and why that is.

Firstly, we can start with Toby, now Toby has been extremely good this semester as leader, right from the start me and him got on the same page about the game and worked very well together and even though the game was my idea I thought it best to let him lead because he is far better at coordinating a team than I am and though at first he was reluctant he accepted and has shown his true colours which I thought to be true at the start, a great leader.

Though toby at times did lack passion and enthusiasm due to other team members not putting the effort it he can be excused as we are all guilty of this, when few people are actually putting the effort in it is hard to stay on that path knowing that others do not share the same passion. Toby this semester was very god with the game making side of things, he took over where I had to leave off, once my laptop broke and I had to go home due to my injury he created some great work within the blight and has made a great job all on his own.

This Is a great accolade as he was the only person for the most part who actually had any input making the game in unity especially when I wasn’t there to help him, no one else wanted to give unity a try and me and toby are expert programmers by any means but he still did extremely well while being at his current skill level.

Secondly, we have Paddy, now I was going to put Paddy, Brad and Ryan under the same category as they all worked at the same level but I thought I may as well individualise it.

Paddy is great artist when it comes to conceptual work on paper but when it came to making digital assets in the game he was very reluctant and so for many weeks just made drawings on paper, yes they were great drawings but after a few weeks in we required digital assets and we had minimal to none which set us back. He like Brad and Ryan didn’t contribute to unity and instead left it to me and toby and so at this point we had three people on the art side of things and no one to really help out with the game and so that’s why I built the game world in the first place.

Paddy sometimes struggled with deadline meeting but the work that he did hand in was to a good level.

Thirdly we had Brad and now much like Paddy he is a great artist but more on the modelling and graphics side of things and I must say he is very good and was able to construct some good low poly models in the prototyping section of the game but even so he lacked enthusiasm as well as passion for the project. Brad mate almost every deadline but when he did the work he provided was the bare minimum which really frustrated me because I know he’s a very good modeller but didn’t want to go further than he had to.

Once again brad never wanted to use unity and left that to me and toby again slowing the process, it was toby who had to import all of the assets into unity whereas the others could have helped to speed up the process but they didn’t.

Overall Brad was a good modeller but didn’t go further than he needed to and never offered to help out in other areas.

Lastly, we have Ryan and now Ryan is very talented with maya and model making but never put much effort in, he produced a very low poly wolf and animated it to some extent within the first week which I thought to be outstanding at the time but then just sort of dropped off the grid and just created a very basic model character throughout the project and didn’t do much else, he never offered to do any more work than he had to and met the bare minimum requirements just like the other artists but the work that he did do was to a good level none the less I just know that if he wanted to he could have done much more.

 Disclaimer: due to my laptop breaking i lost many screenshots of the step by step workload i went through and so this is why my blog is lacking in images and evidence but i inserted what i could find.