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sunflowersunshinevol6 · 5 years ago

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Forbidden Fruit

Drug cartel!Harry x OC

Warnings: mentions of drugs, prostitution, violence, mental hospitals, gangs, mobster harry

Summary: Nina'a been burnt out on her job as a psychologist, that is until infamous drug runner and mobster Harry Styles is sent to her prison for drug and murder related offenses. Slowly she becomes seduced by his charm and is willing to risk it all to set him free.

New York City Present Day:

"In other news, crime boss and drug runner Harry 'Kiwi' Styles, was sentenced to thirty years in Maxwell's State Prison for the Criminally Insane. He could be facing more charges in the following weeks across different states-" Nina shut off the radio as she pulled into her parking spot. She sighed, resting her head against the steering wheel for a moment.

She'd worked at Maxwell's Prison for two years now. The once bright eyed grad student had become somewhat disillusioned by the job. These patients didn't change. They didn't want to. It left her unsatisfied. Unhappy. But she couldn't quit. She worked too hard for this.

Slamming her car door she walked up to the large brick building, sliding her key card into the slot before entering a small 'click' accompanying her movement.

"Good morning Doctor." Her assistant came from around her desk, just outside Nina's office. Nina said nothing, entering the room and leaving the door open for her assistant to follow. She's too tired to deal with this today. "I'm assuming you heard about Mr. Styles?" Nina sighed, setting her bag down.

"Alexis not yet..." she rubbed her temples, a slight headache coming on. "Could you grab me a cup of coffee first and then we can talk."

"Sure...be right back." Nina sat down at her desk, blowing a kiss to the portrait of her late father before looking at the large file sat on her desk. H.E.S written on the front in large letters, a sticky note attacked reading:

He arrives at 9:30 am. You are to assess him and report back to me. -Kirk

Kirk. Her boss. Who handed every patient he didn't want, off to her. Probably as revenge for her not wanting to sleep with him that one time.

Alexis came back in, handing Nina a steaming cup of black coffee, just the way she liked it. Nina took a small sip, letting it warm her bones.

"So I see Kirk didn't waste any time passing him off on me." Alexis smiled sympathetically.

"I think it's exciting. Be nice to have a fresh face around here don't you think?" Nina raised her eyebrow, Alexis's wording sometimes was strange. But she decided to overlook it.

"I need you to cancel all my other appointments for today. I have a feeling Mr. Styles isn't the most cooperative person and there's so much to do."

"Of course." Alexis stood again, leaving Nina alone in her office.

She began to flip through the file, scanning the pages and reading up as quick as she could on her new patient. Around nine thirty Alexis knocks on the door again, opening it slightly.

"He's here Nina. They have him ready for you."

The interview room isn't comfortable. Nothing like a cliche therapists office. A steel table sits in the middle of the room, florescent lights making it glint. Two steel chairs, a camera and a tripod set up. No more.

He sits at the table, a guard standing in the corner, eyeing him closely, his head is down. Nina walks over to the camera, turning it on and angling it towards him.

"This is Dr. Mason, here with Patient 072310. First session. " she heard him chuckle as she sits down out of the way of the camera. She crosses her legs, holding her pen and clipboard in her lap. "Hello Harry."

He looks up, finally. Two bright green eyes focus in on her, staring intently as plump red lips curve up into a devilish smile.

"Hello Doctor." Nina knew he was from England. But it still didn't stop her from being surprised by his accent, the roughness of his voice, how low it was. She cleared her throat, straightening her glasses on her face.

"Patient has been prescribed 20 mgs of Ziatropin and Noxicin, to be taken twice daily-"

"They already gave me that love." He interrupted cheekily. Nina rolled her eyes, scribbling furiously before looking back up at him.

"Please address the camera during these sessions...." she looked down to see the restraints on his wrists the cuffs chaining him to the table. "Are you comfortable?" He shakes his head, looking into the camera lenses.

"No....no not at all." He taps his fingers on the table and shrugs. "But I suppose that's what happens when you get caught....they put you in a cage."

"You don't think you should be here?" He leaned forward, taking his eyes off the camera to address her once more.

"No." He looked down at the nametag on her shirt. "Nina....my, my that's a pretty name." She cleared her throat.

"Please refer to me as Dr. Mason." He chuckled again, sitting back in his seat.

"Whatever, look. I provide a necessary service....some people, well, they just can't handle it. That's not on me sister."

"You run a drug cartel. You've killed people. And you don't think you're responsible for that?"

"I come with a warning sign." Harry said, leaning in again across the table. Nina saw the guard out of the corner of her eye step forward slightly. "People...they know what they're getting into when they do business with me....they know the consequences if they betray me."

"Then what are you doing here?" Nina was genuinely curious. He seemed to know what he was doing wrong. Why bring him here if he knew he was wrong. Harry smirked, tilting his head.

"I don't have a conscience sweetheart. That makes me sick." Nina narrowed her eyes. She was annoyed with how cocky and arrogant he was.

"Not having a conscience doesn't make you insane."

"Doesn't it." Nina slammed her note pad shut, standing abruptly. Harry seemed amused, she knew that he knew he was getting a rise out of her. And she didn't like it one bit.

"These sessions are being recorded. Everything you say will be filmed and reviewed. If I can't find you mentally incompetent they will give you the needle....I'd lose the attitude and get a little more serious." She turned to leave when he spoke, his words sending a chill down her spine

"I like you....this could be fun.....I know I still have time left with you darlin' sit back down. I'll be good." She doesn't know what kind of game he's playing but she does, sit down again. "That's better....doesn't do well for my narcissism when people leave before I do." He said approvingly. He thinks he's in control. He needs control. Nina makes a mental note to mark that down later.

"Patient suffers from delusions of grandeur, narcissistic personality disorder-"

"Lots of big words to define me....you haven't even scratched the surface darling."

"Dr. Mason." Nina corrected. "And these are your diagnosis. These are the conditions that brought you here."

"What if I told you I liked the disease," he smiled at her again, a flash of white as his teeth were bared. "I'm true to myself. I don't want to get better if it means I can't be me."

"Well being you is what got you here." She ran her hand through her hair. "We're getting off track."

"There's a track?" God she could slap him.

"Tell me about your family." She said, ignoring what he had said.

"My mother and my sister never abused me. They were good to me. Still back in London.' His tone changed, his words softer as he spoke about them. "Isn't that a trademark of sadistic bastards? They're abused? Well I wasn't."

"Why did you leave them?"

"We were dirt poor. I knew America was the way to go until I got here. I got a job but wasn't making enough. That's when I started running. Made enough to send quite a bit back home to mum." He licked his lips, clearing his throat before he continued. "Worked in a strip club for a while, selling speedball to VIPs, keeping the girls in line....then I started moving up. And once I started climbing I didn't want to stop. I didn't want to go back down." He watched Nina take notes. He noticed her hair falling from her pony tail and into her face. He wanted to reach out, to fix it for her, but he couldn't.

When she looked back up he was staring again, green eyes gazing intently at her. She shifted uncomfortably.

"Do I make you nervous?"

"No," she lied, thankful when her time went off. She stood again, putting her notepad under her arm and shutting off the camera. The guard walked up to Harry, unhooking him from the table and cuffing his arms behind his back. Nina stood to the side, letting them pass, as Harry walked by her he winked.

"Same time next week doc?"

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #solo harry #hs fandom #imagine harry styles #hs imagine #hs fanfic #hs2 #hs1

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years ago

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Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 1]

Part Eighty-Three [Pt. 2]

A/N: There's 2 parts to this chapter because the post was way long. Part Eighty-Four will be posted tomorrow night. I love yall and hope you enjoy, goodnight!!

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: Explicit language, drug abuse, violence, verbal abuse, domestic abuse, explicit sexual situations

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"The ambulance is on the way." I hear someone say over the noise of the running water and the blood throbbing in my ears from my mind racing.

My heart feels like it's about to burst, my lungs feel flat, like they don't have the muscle to expand and let me catch my breath.

Duff's t-shirt that I'm wearing is soaked with freezing cold water, Nikki's grayish-yellow skin now blue…

We've been trying to get him to wake up.

Slash is passed out, being knocked out by his girlfriend, Sally, once he realized what was happening and had a drunk meltdown.

Me, Sally, Duff and Steven get Nikki from the cold shower and get him back in the living room floor, tearing at his shirt and the buttons fly off.

"Holy shit." Steven says just under his breath as I go to start cpr but I'm stopping when my hands hit something like ice.

I quickly see what it is and I nearly fall back.

It's my crucifix that I thought I had lost when I left it in Duff's hotel room a couple months ago…

TWELVE HOURS AGO

"Nikki's getting home later than the rest of the guys." Karen informs me as I finish wiping down the kitchen counter.

"Why?" I ask and she sighs.

"He told me he missed the flight."

"Of course he did." I mumble and she sighs.

"Well, after that stunt he pulled, I'm surprised he's even getting to come home." She states and I furrow my brows.

"What stunt?"

"Doc didn't tell you?"

"No?"

"...Nikki and the guys were on a bullet train and something riled Nikki up and he threw a bottle of Jack at a window and it busted and got all over the passengers, then when they got stopped and the cops got ahold of him, Tommy punched one of them so they'd take him, too." She explains.

Am I surprised, no. Shocked, no. Disappointed, no. Annoyed? Yes.

"They are so freaking embarrassing." I sneer to myself.

"Oh, the worst part is what he told the police chief, in Doc's words, 'if my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?'"

I widen my eyes, blinking slowly.

"He said the man couldn't understand exactly what he said so the translator told him Nikki said he was very sorry and they got off." She adds.

"Of course they did."

She just looks at me for a moment before letting out a soft breath.

"Vivian, do you think...even the slightest chance you two can--"

"--If there was a chance, I would've gone to Japan with them." I tell her.

She's quiet.

"I need to feed the dog." I say to her, dismissively, and as if on cue, Whisky is darting in here. "Hey, baby!" I pipe, excitedly, still feeling Karen's gaze on me before she steps out of the kitchen. "Mommy's trying not to kill Daddy." I tell him, pouring his food in his bowl. "She's really trying."

A couple hours later, I'm putting makeup on to go meet Duff when the phone starts ringing.

"Hello?" I answer it in the bedroom, sitting on the bed.

"Hey, beautiful, it's Robbin." I hear from the other side and I roll my eyes, chuckling.

"Hey, beautiful, what's up?" I reply in the same tone.

"Nothin'." He replies. "I was wondering if your daddy was home, yet?" He asks in reference to Nikki and I scoff.

"My father is at home with my mother, probably praying or reading the Bible or secretly listening to The Cult records in the garage." I reply.

"You know who I'm talking about, c'mon." He laughs.

"No, Robbin, your boyfriend isn't home yet." I tell him.

"Do you know when he will be?"

"Not too long from now, probably."

"Well, when he gets in, tell him to gimme a call."

"I might not be here but I'll leave a note."

"Where you going?" He asks.

"Out."

"With who?"

"Robbin."

"Why don't you ever come see me anymore? I haven't hung out with you in months."

"Because I don't party and that's all you like to do at night."

"Well, bring your ass with Sixx when he comes tonight."

"Robbin--"

"--Please, for me?"

"I'll think about it, alright?"

"Okay, just don't forget to get him to call me." He reminds me and I nod.

"I will."

"See you later...maybe."

"Later."

We hang up and I groan and fall back on the bed, looking at myself in the mirrored ceiling, before calling Duff to postpone our plans by a couple hours so I can go hangout with Nikki and Robbin.

Once I'm dressed, I fall back on the bed, waiting for Nikki to get in…

I turn over on my stomach and reach for the little radio clock on his side of the bed, my finger pulling the switch on.

Dopey Christmas music filters through the room and I turn it back off, sighing.

Whisky jumps up on the bed with me and I sit up so he doesn't lick my makeup off, giggling at his happy-go-lucky demeanor, but something's off in his eyes.

"He'll be back tonight, baby." I promise, scratching at his chin. "I miss him, too, you know? I know that's hard to believe but I do." I admit to him and he blinks at me. "And if you tell anybody, I won't give you table scraps anymore." I add, the corners of my mouth tugging.

I kiss his head, leaving a smudge of lipstick and I wince, forgetting I even had the stuff on.

"Oops." I go to the bathroom and get a wet washcloth, srubbing it off his fur as best as a I can.

That's when I hear the door open and slam, and I exhale, standing up, tossing the cloth aside and peeking my head out of the bedroom door to see if it's Karen or Nikki.

"Hey," I say to him and he looks at me.

He looks like absolute hell.

"You can stop looking at me like that." He mumbles and I try to speak but can't find the words.

"Sorry." I finally get it out and he goes to the bathroom and shuts the door.

I hear the shower start and I thank God because he smells horrendous.

I light a few scented candles while he's in there, trying to clear out the smell.

Then I try to search his suitcase for drugs, to no avail.

"I threw them out before I got to the airport." He says and I freeze up, sighing when he reaches past me and grabs the suitcase, tugging it to the floor before grabbing at my waist, making me turn around to face him.

I just try to keep my expression neutral, not knowing if he's in a mood or not.

"You smell better." I tell him to avoid an awkward silence as we're uncomfortably close.

"Yeah, so do you." He replies and I roll my eyes, about to move out of his grasp. "Wait, wait, no, no, c'mere." He grabs at me tighter, holding me still, chuckling boyishly and I give a sharp breath.

"You're high," I state, trying to nudge him away from me to give me some space.

"Hey, I'm being nice." His expression shifts, eyes cutting at me, mouth snarling.

"Nikki--"

"--No, when I'm pissed you get bitchy and when I'm in a good mood you get bitchy. You're just a fucking bitch. Always have been. Always will be." He snatches himself away, kicking the suitcase out of his way.

"I'd rather be a bitch than a junkie." I reply as he goes to the bathroom and he's turning around in milliseconds.

"Fuck you!" He shouts, grabbing my jaw, forcing my back down to the mattress, "fuck you, you condescending, manipulative, evil little witch!" He barks in my face and I keep myself as calm as I can, not wanting to make it worse.

I shouldn't have even called him a junkie to begin with.

I knew how he'd react.

"Don't you ever call me that again, Vivian, do you fucking understand me?! I'm tired of it! I'm tired of your shit and your endless whining when I started shooting up because of you in the first fucking place and I keep shooting up just to escape from the reality that I'm fucking married to a twisted, sick, sneaky cunt like you!"

My eyes water, a lump in my throat…

"Then divorce me." I let out weakly, my voice cracking. "If I'm so awful then just leave me, Nikki."

He looks at me, tears in his own eyes, before he gets off of me and goes to the bathroom to finish getting ready.

NIKKI

I thought couldn't do that. Even when I was miserable with her, I was in love with her. That's contradictory to how I acted and treated her but it wasn't necessarily an endless doting, constant lovey-dovey, in love, thing. It was a poisonous, constant merry-go-round and anytime I would try to get off she'd pull me on again without even realizing it. She'd wear a hot dress, or laugh, or smile, or do something for me, or just say 'Nikki', and fuck, I'd be on her again. The Duff thing wasn't even on my mind that night. I got home, saw she was there, went inside and saw her and it took everything in me not to fall to my fucking knees...only for her to call me a junkie. I shouldn't have grabbed her like that, but at that point I was tired of the going around and around, spinning, dizzy, exhausted from puking...she wouldn't leave me. So I was trying to scare her off.

I realized after my overdose that there was no scaring her off. She was as sick as I was, she needed help like I did, and until we got it we would still be on the ride. That's when I filed for divorce. I thought of it as my final, "I love you," because I really did it for her, knowing she wouldn't file after I OD'd. We were torturing ourselves at that point. We both needed to just get away from one another. And we did.

"You coming or not, Vivian, c'mon!" I call into the house when the car gets here, rolling my eyes as she takes her sweet, precious time, deliberately, staring me in the eye as she slowly steps to the door, her brow raised, red lips keeping restraint from curling at the sight of me.

When she walks past, I'm tempted to rear back and hit her ass as hard as my hand can muster, just to see her look at me with her unamused, pissy little look she gives me when I'm being an asshole.

We get in the back of the limo and she sits as far away from me as possible.

It's silent on the way to town, the light flittering, through the windows in the back cast light over her face every now and then...we'd be in the floor tearing at clothes by now if this was three years ago.

Fuck.

How the hell did we go from not getting enough of each other to fucking despising each other?

Again, like I've been doing all year, I remind myself it's because I fucked up with Vanity.

I hope she doesn't tell Vivian I called her in Japan...It's like I really miss her or anything, I was just lonely and Vivian wasn't taking my calls.

She was under Duff, the demon in my ear laughs out and I look at Vivian again, seeing her quickly look away from me as if she'd get caught for staring.

I wonder what she's thinking about right now...I wonder if she really has been with Duff this whole I haven't been home.

Not that I have room to bitch, I spent my whole time in Japan with my head in drugs--which might as well be a fucking mistress.

I give her one last glance before clearing my throat and leaning my head back to rest my eyes for a moment.

Soon, we stop, and the door flings open, Robbin, Slash, some chick, and Steven all pile in, Vivian scooting over so there's more room for everyone to sit.

I go to the other window, letting Slash and the girl I'm assuming is with him get beside me.

Vivian's between Robbin and Steven, and it's evident they've been having some fun before meeting us.

"Sixx!" Robbin lets out, kicking the seat I'm in.

"King!" I reply, kicking his seat, and he chuckles.

"How was Japan?" He asks, rubbing his nose.

"I barely remember." I admit with a laugh and he joins me, nodding.

"Nikki, this is Sally." Slash tells me next and I lean over him to see her.

She's pretty hot.

"Nice to meet you." She tells me.

She's Scottish...interesting.

I hear Vivian giggle and I peek out the corner of my eye and see Robbin whispering something in her ear, and she elbows him, jokingly.

"You are, just saying." He says to her and she rolls her eyes. "Just get more and more beautiful the longer I go without seeing you." He adds.

"Shut up." She nudges him.

"You are." He chuckles.

"Sleepy is what I am." She states as Steven tells me something, and I try to hear him, but I'm too focused on what Robbin's going on about.

"Here," he reaches in his pocket and pulls out a baggie of coke, grabbing his keys and getting some on the tip of it, holding it up to her nose.

She wrinkles her nose and shoos him away.

"No, no, no." She shakes her head.

"C'mon."

"No." She keeps her voice light but stern and he lowers it and looks at her with a smirk on his lips.

Next thing I know, she's laughing out, "Robbin, stop," while King's dumping the dab of coke on the smooth skin of her tit that's pushed up slightly in her strapless dress.

She squeals and laughs as he snorts it off, I guess because the scratch of his five o'clock shadow tickles or she just gets off on making me mad, then he starts quickly trailing little kisses up her cheek to her ear and she tries to put her ear to her shoulder, laughing more when his other hand tickles at her stomach…he's nearly got her laid out on the seat.

My foot makes contact with his stomach and I'm nearly barking when I say, "sit your ass down, Robbin," sharply, making it clear I'm not bullshitting him.

"I was just playing, Sixx, damn." He sniffles, wiping his nose.

"You don't 'play' like that." I throw at him.

An intense silence falls over all of us and Vivian just brushes what's left of the coke off of her chest and straightens her dress before giving him a soft, reassuring smile.

Great. Is she fucking him, too?

When we get to the Cathouse, Vivian stays close to Steven and eventually Sally when the two of them warm up to each other.

We make it up to V.I.P. and Viv makes a point to try to avoid sitting beside me.

But I wait for her to sit and I'm sitting right beside her with a smug smirk while she glares at me.

"What's wrong, baby?" I lean into her ear and ask over the loud music and she just shakes her head.

I pat myself on the back when she eventually gets up, mumbling about the bathroom, and leaves us.

After a few (several) lines of blow, I head to the bathroom to piss, deciding to stop by the women's restroom to see what the hell Vivian's doing.

She probably snuck out of the window.

I hear the very faint but distinct sound of Vivian crying, guilt stabbing at me.

I think I took it too far earlier when I called her those shitty things.

I just go to the men's bathroom and splash my face with water, the buzzing of coke beginning to numb my mind, thoughts of my imploding marriage, band, and life, being locked up and discarded into a black sea of, "it can wait."

One thing is retrieved, though, thrown a life line and brought back from the depths.

I look at myself in the mirror, staring myself down as if saying, "don't you fucking do it."

Once the high kicks in, I can just feel Sikki scrape me from control, locking me away momentarily.

Next thing I know, I'm standing in the women's bathroom, Vivian still sniffling in the stall...I don't think she knows I'm in here.

"I got you this far, you fuck." The demon snarls in my ear.

I swallow and clear my throat, making Vivian go silent.

"Viv, what the fuck's wrong, now?" I ask and she sighs, staying quiet.

"Nothing, Nikki." She says and I scoff, rubbing my jaw.

"It's clearly not 'nothing' because I heard you blubbering the past ten minutes." I point out and she opens the stall, door, looking me dead in the eye before pushing past me.

"A lot on my mind, alright?" She mumbles, going to the sink and I lean against the stall, crossing my arms.

"Like what?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Nikki." She tells me, trying to wipe the smeared mascara away.

"Well, I can't read your mind, Vivian, so if you're upset with me about something th--"

Her head hangs low, a small sob coming from her throat, tears dropping into the sink, her hands white-knuckling the side of the porcelain…

"I'm upset with you about everything." She admits to me, sorrow lacing her words.

I haven't seen her like this since Vanity aired our dirty laundry out.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why didn't you act like--" she cuts herself off, and I realize she's referring to me telling her I loved her while I was in Japan.

"Where were you, Vivian?" I ask her out of nowhere, getting defensive.

"Where was I?" She turns to look at me, wiping her tears, rolling her jaw. "Where were you?" She snaps at me. "Where have you been the last four years?" She asks me.

"I'm not doing this shit here." I grumble, turning to go.

"You asked me what was wrong, Nikki, and I'm telling you what's wrong because you asked--"

"--I also asked where you've been while I've been out of town, Vivian!" I turn on my heel, snarling.

"I've been at home, Nikki!" She yells back. "I've been here, and I've been here for six years! Thinking you'd be right here with me but you're not! That's what's wrong! I've wasted six years of my life on someone who--"

"--You wasted six years of your life?!" I laugh out humorlessly. "How the fuck do you think I feel? How many things I've missed out on because, 'oh, nah, my wife wouldn't like that'?!" I scream.

"Must not have been too bad because you sure as hell weren't passing up the opportunity to have a year and half long affair with Vanity!" She wretches and it takes everything in me not to tell her I know about her little thing she has going with Duff.

"Ya know what, I felt bad for calling you an evil bitch and a cunt earlier but fuck it, you are." I reach for the door and I feel something hit at my back, her heel hitting the floor by my boots.

I turn at glare at her, her emerald eyes lined black, thick lashes blinking slowly, lips parted slightly as she takes in a heavy breath.

I take a step to her, then another and she steps back to the sink.

When our lips meet, I'm putting her on the sink, wasting no time to get her dress pushed up her legs.

"Wait, wait, wait," she gasps out, nudging me away while I unbuckle my belt.

I catch my breath as she gets off the sink and turns around, looking at me in the mirror.

I just lift her dress and bend her over, pulling her panties to the side before--

"God, you are so high." She grumbles, pulling me from my imagination, picking her heel up and shoving past me.

Damn her.

I follow after her back to the guys, and within another hour, once she realizes she's just going to be babysitting us--since she's not fun enough to participate in the coke, pills, and booze--she stands up.

"I'm about to head home." She tells us, and the boys groan.

"Oh, c'mon, Viv!" Steven complains as she leans down to hug him and tell him bye.

"I'm tired, Stevie." She states, chuckling, wrapping her arms around Slash's neck from behind him, and he pats her hand.

"See ya," he tells her.

"Bye." She says. "It was nice to meet you." She says to Sally, next.

"You, too." Sally replies.

"C'mere, c'mere, c'mere!" Robbin calls over the music and she raises a brow and stand behind him, leaning over to see what he wants.

He just grabs her hand and puts it over his heart.

"You feel that?" He asks her.

"Yeah, it feels like you're about to go into cardiac arrest." She comments.

"It's because of you." He dopily replies and she rolls her eyes and pushes at his chest, shaking her head.

"You're a mess." She tells him and he kisses the top of her hand.

"Goodnight, Viv, it was good to see you again." He tells her.

"It was good to see you, too." She replies, smiling, before pulling away. "Bye, Nikki." She says to me in passing.

"Fuck you, too!" I call after her as she heads to the stairs.

The next time I'd see her, she'd be trying to help Sally, Duff, and Steven resuscitate me, and eventually trying to throw herself from the balcony in an attempt to not be left behind while I moved on to where ever the hell we go when we die, begging me not to leave her. I didn't, thanks to adrenaline...but even if I did die, if I had anything to do with it, I still wouldn't have left her.

#nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #gateway drug

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 5 years ago

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Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 18

Thor, Steve, and Bruce joined the rest of us on the couches. Steve sat on the other side of me squishing me between him and Sam. Thor laid his heavy-looking hammer on the table instantly sparking chatter among the group.

"It's a trick!" Clint shouted over everyone else.

Thor laughed as he shook his head.

"No, no, it's much more than that." The god said with an amused smile.

"Who shall ever be, he, worthy shall haveth the power." Clint said in a mocking accented voice.

I had to laugh at that.

"Whatever man, it's a trick," Clint said dismissively.

Thor laughed again.

"Please be my guest." Thor said with a smile as he gestured to the hammer.

"Really?" Clint asked as he stopped twirling the drum stick in his hand.

"Yea" Thor nodded.

"Oh, this is going to be beautiful." Rhodey chuckled.

"Clint, you've had a tough week. We won't hold it against you if you can't get it up." Tony teased.

The group laughed as Clint stopped in front of the hammer.

"You know I've seen this before." Clint said as he wrapped his hands around the handle.

He started to pull but the hammer didn't budge. His face started to turn red from the strain. He let go then chuckled as he shook his head.

"I still don't know how you do it." Clint laughed as he looked at the hammer curiously.

"Smell the silent judgment." Tony teased.

I leaned my head on Sam's shoulder as I watched the group of superheroes.

"Please, Stark, by all means." Clint said gesturing to the hammer then going back to his seat.

"Never one to shrink from an honest challenge. It's physics. So what, if I lift it I then rule Asgard?" Tony questioned as he stepped over to the table.

"Yes, of course" Thor nodded.

"I will be reinstating prima nocta.” Tony said nonchalantly as he pulled at the hammer.

He let go with a grunt then stared at the object for a moment.

“I’ll be right back.” He said holding a finger up.

Maybe a minute passed when Tony came speed walking back into the room. One of his hands was now covered in a metal glove from his suit. He grabbed the hilt once more then tugged. Before I knew it both Tony and his friend Rhodey each had a gloved hand pulling at the hammer together. The group around me was laughing and cheering them on.

“Are you even pulling?” Rhodey asked Tony harshly.

“Are you on my team?” Tony asked his friend.

“Just represent! Pull!” Rhodey ordered.

“Alright, let’s go” Tony said as the two of them tried pulling the hammer together.

Once more the thing didn’t even budge. I laughed with everyone else.

“Now this is some good entertainment.” I chuckled softly to Sam.

He laughed then nodded in agreement. Next up to try for the hammer was Bruce Banner. He grabbed the hilt tugging on it as the others did. He pulled off it then pretended, very badly, to turn into the hulk. Steve stood up then stepped over to the hammer. He looked it over for a moment then wrapped his hands around it. Not even super soldier Captain America could move the thing. Steve chuckled as he stepped back from it.

“Nat?” Steve asked gesturing to the hammer.

“Oh no, that’s not a question I need answered.” Nat laughed and shook her head.

“All difference to the man who wouldn’t be king but it’s rigged.” Tony stated.

“You bet your ass.” Clint nodded.

“Steve, he said a bad language word.” Hill said pointing at Clint.

I laughed as Steve sighed.

“Did you tell everyone about that?” Steve asked Tony.

Tony wasn’t paying him any mind. He was staring at the hammer looking completely lost in thought.

“The handle’s imprinted, right? Like a security code. Who so ever is carrying Thor’s finger print is, I think, the literal translation.” Tony said keeping his eyes on the hammer.

It must really bug him not being able to figure this out.

“Yea, it’s uh, a very very interesting theory. I have a simpler one. You’re all not worthy.” Thor shrugged and laughed.

“I think we are going to head out.” I told Steve quietly.

Steve nodded then hugged me tightly. He kissed the top of my head then turned to give Sam a bro hug.

“I’ll be in touch soon.” Steve said with a nod.

Sam and I got back to his apartment in record time. We were both exhausted from our hunt in Mexico. It was nice to meet everyone tonight and have a bit of fun but really all I wanted to do was sleep. I cuddle under the blankets wrapping myself around Sam. He was always so warm.

A few days later I had woken up to a cold and empty bed. Sam was no where in the apartment. Where the hell did he go?

As I waited for everything I needed to be sent to me I started to pack a bag. Once I was done and finally dressed I pulled up my email to find the file Steve had sent me. I pulled on my leather jacket as I opened the file. This was infuriating. Steve would rather me hunt down these ridiculous and always cold leads than help him with whatever SOS he has going on. I'm a super soldier. I could help him better where ever he is. I hugged shoving my phone into my pocket then throwing my bag over my shoulder. Looks like I'm going to England. Alone.

I had never been to England before but I was a little surprised by the place. So many things were the same but different. I felt like a stood out compared to everyone else. It wasn't until late in the evening that I got to where I needed to be. I got a hotel room then left my bag so I could talk to some of the residents. My first stop of a small pub down the street from my hotel. I walked inside straight to the bar where an older man was standing.

"Excuse me" I said to get his attention.

"What can I get ya young lady?" The man asked with a polite smile.

"I wanted to ask if you've seen this man." I said pulling the photo of James out then laying it on the bar.

The older man picked it up. He squinted as he looked it over. He handed it back to me.

"I sure have miss but the man made it clear he didn't want anyone to find him." The man said slowly.

"Please, I'm a very old friend of his. I promise he won't mind if it's me finding him." I tried to sound as genuine as possible.

The man looked me over as he chewed his lip.

"Alright but I wasn't the one who sent ya. He's been hiding out in the old abandoned factory at the end of the road." The man told me.

"Thank you" I said quickly then ran out of the bar.

I jogged down the street not stopping until I saw an old run down building. That had to be the one. I was slow and cautious to go inside. I pushed the large door open letting it close behind me. The room was open and dark. I couldn't hear anything and I could barely see.

"Hello? James?" I asked threw the darkness.

I took two steps forwards when a large arm wrapped around my neck then pulled me backward. My back slammed into a hard chest as something cold and sharp pressed against my cheek.

"It's Willow" I choked out in a panic.

The person holding me let go then grabbed my arm turning me to face them. Cold metal grabbed each of my cheeks holding my head in place. The man stepped forward as he pushed me backwards. He only stopped when he got me into the moonlight streaming in from a broken window. He let go of me face then stepped into the light so I could see him. It was him. It was really him. He looked tired and scruffy. His hair was much longer and unkept.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

"Looking for you." I said breathlessly.

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Why?" He asked slowly.

"Steve has had us searching the world for you. It's all been cold leads until now. I honestly didn't think I'd find you." I explained quickly.

James sighed then fell into a chair by the broken window. I moved to stand in front of him. He rubbed his eyes then leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees.

“What do you want?” He asked looking up to meet my eyes.

“I guess Steve wants me to bring you back. Your his childhood best friend after all.” I chuckled softly.

“No, I asked what you wanted.” He repeated.

I was taken back by that. What I want? I never thought about it. I’ve only been doing this for Steve. I didn’t think I had a reason for it. Not a personal one.

“I’m just doing this for Steve.” I said softly.

James stood to tower over me. He brushed a piece of hair out of his face.

“Still no memories of me I see.” He said quietly.

I shook my head. For some reason I felt bad about it. I felt sorry for not knowing him like he apparently knew me. His eyes seemed to fix themselves on my jacket. A small smile rugged at his lips.

“If I could remember I would but whatever they did to me it seems permanent.” I shrugged.

James chuckled darkly as he stepped closer to me.

“I thought the same thing about myself but I was wrong. So are you. All you need is a little spark to get those memories started again.” He explained in a menacing voice.

I knew he was trying to intimidate me for whatever reason. I didn’t move from my spot. I wouldn’t back away. I wouldn’t flinch. His face moved closer to mine until his lips were hovering less then a inch from mine.

“Let me help you.” He whispered.

Before I could reply he pressed his lips softly to mine. It was such a small simple kiss yet everything in me roared to life. It was like nothing I’d ever experienced. As James pulled away a sharp pain went threw my skull. What seemed like a million images flashed before me. It was like a true ‘my life flashed before my eyes’ moment. It was so incredibly overwhelming. I felt myself be overcome by whatever was happening as my body went limp and fell to the floor.

I woke up the next morning in my hotel room. I was safely and comfortably tucked into the bed. I sat up slowly trying to recall what had happened. The last thing I remember was talking to James. I found him! I jumped out of bed then quickly pulled on my shoes. Without thinking I ran as fast as I could out of the hotel all the way to the end of the street where that old building was. I pushed my way inside to find absolutely nothing. He was gone. Just like that. I had him. Steve is not going to be happy.

—

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the girl out of time #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #clint barton #tony stark #thor #agent hill #bruce banner #rhodey #sam wilson #sam wilson fanfiction #sam x reader

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the-fangirl-way · 6 years ago

Text

3: Blush

I stood there in shock, my mind racing, my heart trying to beat its way out of my chest.

"H-Harry, what..what are you doing here?" I finally asked, my mouth catching up with my mind.

"I got bailed out." He said casually as if we were talking about the weather rather than how he had gotten out of prison.

"Bailed out? Your bail bond was set at two hundred thousand.." I said and he nodded.

"Who..what..."

"My father bailed me out, are you going to let me inside?"

"Wha- I don't think that's a good idea-" I started but he pushed past me inside the apartment.

"It's freezing out there." He said plopping down on the couch.

"Nice place."

"Harry you can't just be here, in my apartment, I could get in trouble.. Oh God." I said realizing at any minute Tristan would arrive and there was no telling how he'd react to finding Harry in my apartment.

"Relax, I'm just here to talk." He said crossing his ankle over his leg.

"Harry no really, you can't be here." I emphasized and at that moment the door buzz went off again.

"Are you expecting company?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Who is it?"

I ignored him and pushed the button.

"Uh, hold on one second." I said into the speaker.

"Avery? Everything alright?" Tristans voice asked and Harry's expression changed from a smirk to an irritated glare.

"Officer Dick Head? You invited him here?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "Oh my God, are you two fucking?" He asked then and I widened my eyes.

"Harry! That's none of your business! You've got to go!" I said grabbing his wrist to pull him up but he protested.

"No, I want to stay, thank you."

"Well you can't stay!" I said irritated.

"You've got to- oh you can't go down stairs he'll see you! Hide in my bedroom!" I said pushing him to the stairs.

"You've got to be fucking kidding." Harry protested irritably.

"No Harry I'm not, you hide and I'll get rid of him." I said and in a flash his expression changed from irritated to cocky again.

"Okay." He agreed before retreating up the stairs.

My heart was pounding wildly and I couldn't control my breathing.

What the hell was I going to do?

Thinking quickly I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, ruffled my clothes and grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around myself.

"Come up." I said weakly into the buzzer and within seconds I heard a knock on the door.

"Tristan." I said opening the door and instantly felt like the worst person on the entire planet.

He was dressed in a nice button up dress shirt, a pair of nice jeans and boots. His five o'clock shadow was shaved and he was holding a bottle of wine with a ribbon around it in one hand, and a bag of takeout in the other.

"Are you alright?" He asked, his eyes filling with concern.

I wanted to go upstairs and punch Harry in the jaw for doing this to me, ruining my night with Tristan.

"I- I think I'm coming down with something, I've been throwing up all evening." I lied, hoping it sounded convincing enough.

His face dropped and I instantly felt a million times worse.

"Oh."

"I'm so sorry, I was going to call you about five minutes before you showed up." I said trying to sound sincere.

"No, it's fine. I understand, you can't help being sick." He said dismissingly.

"I really am sorry. I'll call you tomorrow?" I offered and he smiled a small smile.

"Sure, yeah, okay."

I reached up and kissed him on the cheek lightly.

"Goodnight." I said before closing the door, looking at his sad expression made me feel like the worst person in the world.

"That was touching." I heard Harry's voice from behind me, causing me to jump, he was leaned up against the doorframe smirking at me.

"I should kick your ass for that." I said and he laughed.

"Or you could kiss my ass.." He said flirty and I rolled my eyes.

"Why the hell are you here Harry?"

"I told you, I got bailed out." He said reinstating what he had already told me.

"Yeah, I got that. But why are you here?" I asked and he was silent.

"Harry seriously we are not in an interrogation, and I can call the police for you just showing up and inviting yourself in my house." I said, my voice more steady than I felt.

"I got evicted from my apartment." He said averting his gaze from my face.

"Okay? So go to your Mother's or your sisters or-"

"No one knows I'm out except my dad and I'd like to keep it that way." He said sternly and I sighed exasperated.

"Well then go stay with him."

"I would like to, only he told me I can't stay with him because he doesn't want a felon in his house the prick." He mumbled and a pang of guilt settled in to me but there was no way in hell he could stay here.

"That sucks, but you can't stay here, I've got a roommate."

"Ah yes, the spunky raven haired nurse." He said and I raised an eyebrows.

"How do you know that?" I asked warily.

"Relax. I got out this morning and saw you two coming out of Wahaca. I wasn't going to approach you on the street." He said walking over to take a seat on the couch again.

"How did you know where to find me?" I asked then.

"The lady at the library desk told me. What was her name, Doris was it? She was quite hesitant to give up your information when she saw me."

"You were following me?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I wanted to talk to you, but I knew you'd probably make a scene like you are now." He said gesturing to me.

"How am I supposed to believe you?" I asked cocking an eyebrow.

"Believe me, don't believe me, I don't really care." He said annoyed, turning his attention to the tv.

"Harry.." I said agitated, taking a seat on the couch, making sure to keep a good distance between him and myself.

"Save it. I came to talk to you about Langston." He said and my that held my attention.

"Now you wanna talk?"

"I'm not being surveillanced and video taped now.. am I?" He asked looking around the apartment warily.

"What do you think I videotape all of my guests and watch it back?" I asked and he shrugged, I rolled my eyes.

"So tell me." I urged.

Harry shifted in his seat to look at me, his expression going from slightly annoyed and smirking to serious in a matter of seconds. His emerald eyes locked on mine.

"You have to swear you won't tell." He started and my heart sped up again.

"Harry I'm a detective I-"

"Swear to it or I won't tell you a thing and I'll leave."

I wanted to know so badly why he had done what he'd done, but sitting here now in this moment I didn't feel prepared at all to find out the truth. And on top of that I couldn't tell Callahan, or record it, or they would file it on Harry depending on the information and possibly arrest him again, and then I would be his target. Harry was a pretty easy going person most of the time, but the fact alone that he had tried to kill someone made my skin crawl with fear of what he would do to me if I told.

"I swear." I whispered and he stared at me a minute before looking satisfied enough to begin.

"Wesley Langston was my sister's boyfriend." He started and I felt myself gasp before I could stop it.

"But, in the interview-"

"She didn't tell anyone except me. Our Mother didn't even know, hell she probably wouldn't have told me if I hadn't found her-" He stopped, his eyes leaving focus, his mind wandering to something in his memory.

"Harry.." I mumbled bringing him back to reality.

"He was an English major at her college, he had graduated two years before her and he was there for the study abroad program." He said and I nodded, urging him to continue.

"They started dating for about two months, she didn't tell any of us I guess because she didn't know where things were going to go and she didn't want him to meet the family and all that jazz if things didn't work.."

"One night she didn't come home, she always came home around midnight or so, she'd say she was out with friends when she was really with him. So that night when she didn't come home I went looking for her. None of her friends had seen her, I panicked worrying if something had happened to her so I called her cell phone. She answered and lied and told me she was at a friend of her's house but I knew that was a lie because I had already been there so I made her tell me where she was, threatening to get the police involved." He stopped, looking down at his hands.

"She was at a hotel, he was already gone when I got there, and I swear if he had of been there I would have killed him." He said through his teeth, I could see him seething, trying to calm himself thinking of the memory.

"What happened Harry?" I asked quietly.

"She was laying on the bed wrapped up in the blanket, she was crying and begging me not to tell mom. She had scattered bruises all over her face, her lip was busted open and bleeding, there was a gash over her eye that was bleeding.."

Harry quit talking, I could see the small tears pricking up in the corners of his eyes, he quickly thumbed them away.

"I took her to the hospital and they sewed the wound above her eye, I told her I would call the police but she begged me not to, begged me not to tell anyone about it and to leave it alone but she knew I couldn't do that, but at the time I promised her. We were released and she stayed with me for a few days until her face healed, we told our Mother that she was staying with me to clean my apartment and spend time with me, and when she asked about the stitches we told her she fell and hit her head on an end table, Mom never questioned it, Gemma had always been clumsy.." He said, this was the first smile he displayed, it was small, but visible. His eyes were puffy from the tears.

"After that, I sought out to find the bastard and do what he had done to my sister, only I knew it wouldn't do me any good except land me in jail, so I decided if I was going to go to jail for something I would make sure he'd never bother her again.." He said finishing his spew and I sat quietly, it was a lot to take in. I couldn't quite place the feeling inside of me, it wasn't pity or disgust, it was something along the lines of compassion. I would never condole killing anyone else but I knew deep down inside my heart that if that had been my sister, or Devlin I would have done the same thing.

Harry sat motionless for a few minutes and the nurturing side of me came out before I could stop myself, I scooted closer and placed my hand on his arm.

"I wish you would have told me before." I said and his gaze transfigured from the floor to me.

"I couldn't, I made a promise to my sister I wouldn't tell anyone."

"Yeah but Harry-"

"No." He cut me off.

"I promised. If I had told you, you would have gotten Gemma and my mother involved and neither of them need to be involved in what I've done, or didn't do." He said, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

I didn't say anything, instead sat still looking at Harry.

He looked a million times better than he since yesterday, the color in his face was starting to come back. His hair had been trimmed and was clean, I wondered if he had taken me up on my suggestion to get a good shower, I assumed he had by the clean clothes he was wearing.

All in all he looked.. good, considering. And he smelled good.

He smelled like irish spring or something masculine mixed with a subtle hint of mint. It was quite the intoxicating smell, but I wheeled myself away from the thought immediately, dangerous territory.

Finally after what seemed like ages I spoke.

"Harry, you can't stay here, I'm sorry but you can't."

He didn't argue or even look upset he just shrugged.

"I didn't think so."

"I'm sorry, if it weren't for the circumstances."

"Save it again, I get it." He said standing up and stretching.

"I'll be fine."

He headed for the door and I followed to see him out.

I opened the door and he stepped out in the hallway turning back to look at me.

"See you soon, Avery." He said, the tone of his voice sent unfamiliar chills down my spine but I brushed them off.

"Harry." I mumbled and watched him walk away down the hallway and board the elevator before I could breathe evenly again.

I quickly shut the door and deadbolted it, my heart racing and my mind matching.

Devlin returned home sometime after midnight, she had changed out of her scrubs and was wearing a nice dress and heels.

"You're still up?" She asked when she stepped inside and noticed me curled up on the couch with my laptop.

"Yes?" I questioned and she sized me up.

"Your hair is up, you're not wearing makeup, and you're in your pajamas, I'm guessing Lennon didn't show up?"

I thought seriously about telling Devlin what had happened with Harry but decided against it, if she knew she would probably have a conniption and call the police.

"He got called into work." I lied and she nodded believing me.

"How was your night?" I asked shifting the conversation away from my night and its endeavors.

"It was...good actually. Dr. Stevens took me to this really nice Japanese restaurant and a movie." She said smiling.

"Oh yeah? What movie?"

"The one with Kate Beckinsale and Jonah Hill."

"Oh yeah, how was it?" I asked and a cheeky grin broke out on her face.

"I don't know."

"You dog!" I said laughing and she giggled.

"I know, making out in a movie theater how juvenile am I i?"

"As long as you're happy Dev, I'm happy."

"I am really happy, Eric is a great guy. Now we both have good men." She said and I nodded, my stomach feeling in knots knowing I had blown off Tristan for Harry tonight.

"Well I'm going to bed, see you in the morning?" Devlin offered and I nodded, she gave me a quick hug and headed up the stairs to bed.

I flipped off the tv and decided to head to bed myself, I'd had enough excitement for one night.

When I got upstairs I checked my phone before plugging it in.

From: Tristan

Hope you're feeling better, call you tomorrow?

I sighed knowing that I had blown him off for stupid Harry showing up. I quickly texted back.

Sounds good, goodnight.

I laid down in bed and before I knew it I was drifting off to sleep.

I dreamt of emerald eyes and inky tattoos.

#harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles fanfic #harrystyles #harry #harrystylessmut #harry styles fandom #harry styles au #harry styles fanfction #harry styles

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flowerboyethan · 5 years ago

Text

Goodnite Socialite

Chapter 1: "Difficult For Me To Do, Quiet The Brain"

We all go through phases in our lives, right? There's ups and downs, high and lows, it's all part of the human existence.

Human existence seems subpar as of lately.

This voice has crawled into my head and made a home, filling my thoughts with nothing but negativity, sucking my motivation dry. I've done nothing but wake up, record a video, send it to my editor, and then crawl back in bed. I've been stuck in this damn routine for the past month, and people have noticed. What could I do? This voice refused to give me a break.

Luckily, Mark hasn't given up on me. Last week, we proposed a plan, a plan to create a channel to end in one year. He told me it might bring my motivation back, and I couldn't agree more. He dragged me out of bed today to record one video for Unus Annus and then drag me to some bar to watch his friend perform.

"A break from your routine would help," Mark had said as he dropped me off at my house to get ready. "Get you back on your feet."

I didn't want to be out in public, and certainly not inside a crowded bar. But Mark was right, I needed a break, I should push myself to get out.

I stood in front of my closet now, filing through different shirts to wear. Something nice, but not too nice. I glanced at my yellow hoodie.

A hoodie makes you look like a slob, the voice mocked.

I moved on to a long-sleeve.

Plain.

I huffed, grabbing a random shirt. It was a button-up, red, yellow, and blue geometric shapes against a grey background.

There was no snarky comment from the voice.

I put it on, shrugging in the mirror. I looked good, but I couldn't let myself admit it.

I texted Mark, letting him know I was ready. I gave Spencer a scoop of food, gave him a quick pat and headed out the door. Mark smiled as I hopped in the car.

"Lookin' good, man!" He exclaimed, backing out of the driveway.

"Thanks, where's Amy?" I asked. Amy was supposed to join us, but she wasn't in the car.

"Already there. She's helping Salem set up."

"Salem?"

"The friend you're going to meet."

I nodded. "That's a badass name."

"Fits her personality, too. She's sweet, just a little…" he paused. "Out there."

"What do you mean?"

"You know how I have a big ego?"

"All too well, my friend."

He ignored my comment. "She's that and then some."

I winced.

"You'll like her better than most people she's associated with."

He was making her sound like a bad person. I started to regret leaving my house. I wasn't up for dealing with a bigger ego than Mark's.

"She's a socialite," he continued. "She just does this cover band thing for fun."

I kept quiet. A socialite. So, she's rich. I hated the rich.

"Listen, man," Mark sighed, picking up on my silence. "You know me, I'd never be friends with someone that I didn't think was a good person. Amy's known her since they were teenagers. She's a good person. I didn't mean to give you a bad impression of her."

"It's okay," I finally spoke up. "I just don't know if I have the energy to meet someone like her."

Mark nodded in response, pulling into the bar's parking lot. It wasn't too packed, but we had to park a ways away from the door. We spotted Amy near the center of the bar, sitting at a small round table with several baskets of fries and a few beers.

"Hey!" She greeted us as we sat down. "You're just in time, they're starting in a few minutes." She slid a basket of fries and a beer bottle to me. "These are from Salem."

I was being buttered-up already by someone I haven't met yet. I smiled, masking away the truth. "Tell her thank you."

"You tell her yourself," Amy sipped on her own drink. "She wants to meet you after the show."

Puzzled, I asked why.

"'Any friend of Mark and Amy is a friend of mine' she said to me. And she always loves meeting new people."

"And she likes to show off," Mark piped up through a mouthful of fries.

Amy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that's true. She can be a bit flirtatious, but she means well."

A flirtatious, egotistical, narcissist. A perfect reason to get out of the house. I sighed, looking down at my fries. Was I really stubborn enough to not eat these just because she bought them for me? I've barely eaten anything for the past month, I guess a few fries wouldn't hurt.

The lights flickered up on stage, drawing my eyes to a woman adjusting her base strap on her shoulders.

She looks pretentious, the voice mocked again. For the first time, I disagreed. She was stunning, dressed in a Hawaiian shirt tucked into her jeans. All my previous thoughts of her faded away. She was graceful but powerful in the stage lights, as if she belonged in the spotlight.

"Good evening, everyone!" The woman on stage purred in a singsong voice, placing her round glasses on top of her head to keep her wavy hair back. "Welcome to tonight's show!"

The crowd cheered as the rest of the band walked on stage.

"If you are new, my name is Salem. This is Melanie." She gestured to the soft-looking keyboard player who blew a kiss to the crowd. "Pike," an androgynist guitarist winked. "And Vivian," the drummer danced in her with her drumsticks in hand. "And we are Witch Haven!"

"Witch Haven?" I leaned closer to Amy, questioning the band name.

"An homage to her ancestors," she whispered back. "They were witches during the Salem Witch Trials. She gets her name from that, too."

"Really?"

"Yes, now hush!" She waved me off with a smile.

Salem continued to speak upfront. "We have a few covers lined up for you tonight, starting with Goodnight Socialite by The Brobecks." A few people in the crowd cheered. "Mel? Will you start us off?"

Their show began. For a cover band, they played well together, and didn't try to outshine the original artist. Salem, the lead singer, sang beautifully, and I could hardly look away.

Halfway through the song, her eyes landed on me. The anxiety that I had felt this whole month increased. My stomach turned, my palms sweating. Every time I glanced back at her after taking a swig of my beer, there her eyes were, dark, and fixed on me. I gulped, and she must have noticed. She winked at me. Was she into me? I felt myself give into that idea.

You think she'd ever be with a loser like you? The voice shot me down. You? She's rich, Ethan. She has no interest in you. Why would she ever be into you?

I covered my ears, trying to drown it out. Would this ever end? This low-point? Would I ever get a break. It was a mistake leaving my house, I should have protested to Mark more. I should be at home, with my dog, curled up in bed while I wallow in misery.

"Ethan?" Mark's voice interrupted my thoughts. "Ethan, are you okay?"

I paused, what could I say? They both knew what was wrong with me, so why ask?

"Is it too loud?" Amy asked.

I nodded, a good excuse.

"The next song is quieter. Or do you want to go home?"

I shook my head. Something in me wanted to stay, to possibly talk to Salem. Maybe I had a chance despite what the voice said.

After an hour, the band finished their show, and the bar started to clear out. Mark left to go talk to the band, Amy headed for the restroom, leaving me alone at the table with an empty beer bottle and a basket of fries. I watched Mark disappear backstage, I was truly alone in the bar now. Should I wait by the car? Do I wait here? I didn't know what to do.

Salem walked out from backstage, beginning to pack away the instruments and cords.

You should leave.

I stood up.

Leave! Now!

My feet involuntarily started towards the stage.

What are you doing?! What do you think will come of this?

I reached the stage, Salem’s back turned to me.

She doesn’t see you. You can still turn away and-

“Salem?”

She turned around, her shoes squeaking against the floor. She smiled, her tongue sticking out a bit. “Hello,” she cooed, crouching to meet my eyes. “And who might you be?”

Hazelnut. Her eyes were the color of hazelnuts. “I, uh- I’m Ethan.”

“Ethan!” Her eyes started to sparkle. “Amy told me about you. Come, come!” she stuck her hand out, waiting to pull me up onstage with her. “Any friend of Mark and Amy is a friend of mine.”

I took her hand, pushing off the ground with my foot to climb up. She fixed the collar of her Hawaiian shirt, shaking it out a bit. “How did you like my show?” She took her glasses off her head, cleaning them on her shirt.

“Oh, it- it was incredible,” I fumbled my words a bit, trying not to look at her stomach that was slightly exposed.

“Ah! Good!” She placed her glasses on her face. “I love meeting new fans. Now, do you have a favorite part, dear Ethan?”

My heart jumped. “Well, I- uh…”

She tilted her head a bit. “You seem so nervous! Is everything alright?”

“I'm- I'm just going through this anxious episode, thing.”

Stop talking.

“Oh, you poor thing!” She grabbed my hands, holding them close to her chest, causing me to stumble forward slightly. “I do hope my show helped!”

“It- it did! It did!” I stuttered. God, I couldn’t think straight. “It’s just that-”

“Did I upset you somehow?” She started to lean closer, concern covering her face.

Spit it out.

“You were making eyes at me!”

Salem dropped my hands, taking a step back. “I was doing what?” Her singsong voice disappeared.

You shouldn't have said that. 'Making eyes at me'? Who even says that? She winked at you, nothing more, you idiot.

“I was sitting near the back, and you couldn’t take your eyes off me, and-”

“Oh!” She started laughing. “Oh, no, my dear Ethan. My girlfriend was sitting in the back. I was making eyes at her!”

Every ounce of hope left my body.

“You must have been sitting in front of her,” Salem continued. “Her name’s Cherry. I love her to death.”

“You- you must be- you must have been- been together for a while, then?” I stuttered, shoving my sweaty hands into my pockets.

“Five years!” Her eyes lit up, clasping her hands together. “I couldn’t be happier. She always takes off after my gigs, though,” she stood on her toes, peering over me to scan the room. “She’s a busy woman, taking calls left and right. I’m proud of her!”

“I’m happy for you,” I cleared my throat, rubbing the back of my neck. “Look, I’m really sorry for thinking-”

“Don’t be!” She took up my hands again, just like before. “You are so sweet and respectful, Ethan. Stuff like this happens more often than you’d think!”

“Wha- really?”

She nodded vigorously, her glasses slipping down her nose a smidge. “Some guys will straight up try to kiss me after a show without even asking. Pike will have to step in and throw ‘em out.”

“I’m so sorry that happens to you,” I was itching to leave now. I felt my stomach turning.

“But you are a gem, Ethan. Will you come to my next show?”

“When is it?” I was filling in words to get this over with. I had to leave.

She shrugged. “It’s never set in stone.”

“I’ll try my best, then,” I pulled my hands away. “I gotta go. It was so nice to meet you, Salem.” I hopped off the stage, speeding towards the door, hardly hearing Salem call after me.

“Goodbye, Ethan! Lovely to meet you!”

I stumbled through the exit, sprinting towards Mark’s car. I fell to the ground, dry heaving into the ditch. The parking lot was almost empty now, only a few cars parked on the other side.

I’m an idiot. A loser. How could I be so stupid to even think of talking to Salem? Let alone think she even had a desire to be with me. Of course, she was in a relationship. Of course, she had a girlfriend. Just my luck, falling for a girl who had no desire to even be with a boy.

Since when did I start crying? I stopped dry heaving at this point. I sat on my thighs, knees digging into the dirt, sobbing into my hands.

“I’m such an idiot,” I choked on a tear. “Look at me, crying in a bar parking lot. Pathetic.”

“Ethan? Ethan!”

Oh, god. It’s Mark.

Mark grabbed my shoulders from behind me, gently pulling me to his chest. I kept my face in my hands. “Ethan, what is going on?”

“Ethan.” I heard Amy’s voice next to me. She started rubbing my arm with one hand, the other on my knee. “Ethan, everything’s gonna be alright.”

I whimpered, shaking my head, still covering my face. “No, it not.” I pulled away from Mark and Amy. I had nothing more to say. Everything was going wrong. This low-point, it felt like my world was ending. I wanted this voice gone, I wanted my motivation back, I wanted this anxiety to leave. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have spoken to Salem. I should never leave my house again.

They were silent for a moment, Amy rubbing my back as I hunched over, crying.

“Do you want to go home?” Mark asked, his voice soft.

I nodded.

“Will you be fine alone?” Amy chimed in.

I nodded.

“Let’s get you up,” Mark coaxed, placing his arm around my waist and a hand in mine. I never protested as he lifted me up and brought me to the car door. I usually would, claiming that I could do it myself. I was too tired to protest.

So tired…

#flowerboyethan #crankgameplays #crankgameplays fanfic #ethan nestor fanfic #ethan nestor #goodnite socialite

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poweredbycoffeeandwine · 7 years ago

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If you have any spots left, I'd love love love to see Tavrien and Kaidan and the secret Santa prompt. :)

Here is the aforementioned angst @lechatrouge673! This one is for you, love! Hope you enjoy it. Sorry it got away from me.

Have some Tavrien x Kaidan feels, set in my “I Don’t Mean To” verse. This takes place during the events of ME2 after Horizon. Is spoilery if you haven’t played The Shadow Broker DLC.

Shepard’s Not-So Secret Santa

Everything was different, but should have been the same. It didn’t matter how evidence pointed to the contrary. Two years. She had lost two years…and yet, Tavrien Shepard felt as though no time had passed at all. Despite the obvious missing scars, and advanced cybernetics infused throughout her body, she felt the same. She might be faster and stronger, but she was confused as hell. Her battle prowess, experience and uncanny ability to strategize in any given situation hadn’t failed her; causing those around her to believe that she was the same old Commander Shepard, maybe a medical miracle, but the same nonetheless.

The conversations that swirled around her indicated just how much she had missed, and she fought to remain impassive as her insides screamed at having no idea what was being alluded to. When Cerberus first revived her, she spent most of the night cycle researching important details in a gap the past held. Alternatively, she attempted to hack her way past EDI’s firewall to contact anyone off ship, Anderson, Hackett, but most of all Kaidan. All to no avail. Then she was sent to Horizon and what hopes she held for normalcy crumbled to dust in her outstretched hands.

The man she trusted, the one person who promised her the world, looked at her with such scorn and contempt. Alenko had actually accused her of betraying the Alliance. Him! As if she would ever have faked her own death to join an organization hell-bent only on advancement of themselves. Not the human race, as they claimed, but the sole person in charge of their disturbed cells. Sick and twisted experiments scattered across the galaxy. The universe had an odd sense of humor. She was brought back from the dead to work with the rabid dogs she had sworn to put down.

She was frazzled, utterly exhausted, and a touch paranoid; she had very few friends to confide in. True friends. Not these Cerberus loyalists attempting to gain her confidence. More of The Illusive Man’s lackeys. Tali remained standoffish, unable to reconcile her friend with the person she saw before her. She was starting to come around, but Shepard didn’t know if it would be the same as it was before. Joker still flew the ship, and she knew where his loyalties lay, but he never left his chair, not trusting the AI so integral to the Normandy SR-2. She felt defeated knowing that all their conversations were likely recorded, and played back for The Illusive Tit.

“Shepard,” EDI’s smooth robotic voice interrupted her thoughts.

“Yes, EDI, what is it?”

“I have an important message from Liara T’Soni.”

“And?” she barked at the AI. She was still angry at her once friend. After discovering what part the new Shadow Broker played in Cerberus acquiring her remains, she was finding it hard to trust her. Everything really was different.

“She requests your presence on her base.”

“Tell Joker to set a course for Hagalaz. Inform me when we are close.”

“Commander Shepard, I feel I should remind you, The Illusive Man is expecting you to collect the Reaper IFF. We are, in fact, closer to our initial destination that Hagalaz.”

“EDI, I honestly don’t care. Set a new course.”

“I hear you loud and clear, Commander,” Joker replied, hanging up the line, but not before she heard the continued argument between her pilot and the machine he despised so much.

Tavrien made her way to the desk to check her email. Hoping against hope that Kaidan had contacted her. She had answered his email. The one she left in her inbox and read so often she knew it by heart. It didn’t stop her from feeling foolish when she remembered everything she said and did on Horizon. The way she flung herself into his arms, as if he could set to rights all the wrongs that had happened with one hug. Like he could make all that she had gone through a bad dream. She finally realized she would never wake from this nightmare. At least she found herself outnumbered and about to embark on a suicide mission. Maybe this time it would take.

She stared at his photograph. She didn’t know the person responsible for it being in her personal quarters, and she would likely never thank them, but it was a comfort in times like these. She had believed in karma, once. Had thought that if she lived life respectfully, treaded carefully, treated others with tact, she would have a relatively gratifying life. Instead she was the butt of every cosmic joke. She barely lived through the attack on Elysium, she survived the Battle of the Citadel, but hearing that Kaidan had moved on killed her. Sure she was walking, talking, breathing, fighting the good fight, but she was still a husk.

She sighed, rubbing circles into her temples, and glanced at her console. She really should attempt to rest before she heard Liara’s news. No doubt it would be a difficult meeting, no matter the reason for the request to see her, it was the first since she helped her gain the title of Shadow Broker. She moved to lay on her bed, not bothering with much beside pulling a sheet over her body, praying to any diety listening to grant her one night of dreamless sleep.

Tavrien stood at the airlock, mentally preparing to meet Liara. She hadn’t seen the need to gear up, or bring anyone along. The base would be safe enough or the Asari would have informed her otherwise. Walking the hallways, it was obvious Feron and Liara had been clearing rubble from their fight through the ship. She was obviously taking to her new role well.

“Shepard, I’m glad you came. I was not sure you would come back, even if I asked nicely.” Liara’s gentle voice washed over her. She had been waiting for her to come over the threshold, and Taviren had to admit it was nice that she she found time to meet her at the door. She had been expecting Feron.

“I have discovered that being KIA for two years, and coming back looking younger than ever, is rather unsettling for most old friends.” She smirked, a hint of bitterness seeping through in her tone. “It makes keeping those that will still associate with me a necessity.”

“About that,” Liara glanced at her nervously, ‘you must understand that I will stand by my decision. You were the only one who could save us from the Reaper threat. The universe would be lost without you.”

“Damn it, Liara,” Shepard shouted, rage unchecked, “don’t you hear how crazy that sounds! All the people in the entire galaxy, and nobody else can possibly do anything!”

“Shepard, I apologize. I did not bring you here to ease my conscience. I hope you know that.” Tavrien stood, silent, manicured brow arched, waiting. Realizing that Shepard had nothing to say she sighed and continued, “Kaidan contacted me. I heard about what happened on Horizon, and I’m sorry.”

“What did he want?” she asked impatiently.

“He asked to meet me on the Citadel. I still hold an office there. It helps as a front to go on as much as I ever did.”

“Did you?”

“Yes, I met the Lieutenant.”

“Staff Commander. He was promoted…while I was dead. Just another reminder.”

Liara tentatively reached out, squeezed her hand comfortingly before letting it drop. “Right, anyhow, I met Kaidan. He initially acted out, the way you did when I told him the truth. I told him everything, gave him files to look over. I owed him, and you, that much.”

Shepard looked out the window, stared out into the stars. He knew. He knew for a fact that she hadn’t been lying, and he hadn’t bothered to contact her. Instead of relief, she felt the weight settle more firmly on her shoulders.

“He asked me to deliver something. Well, several things. He asked me to tell you they were from your Secret Santa?” she sounded unsure, probably not aware of human holidays, but wasn’t going to question.

“Please, send them to the ship.” She turned to walk away, and thought better of it. “Liara?” her friend looked up, eyes vulnerable, “It’s good to see you. Once I’ve had more time we will talk, ok?”

“Anytime, Tavrien. You know where to find me.”

She nodded, and retreated back to the SR-2, anticipation and dread filling her stomach.

She found herself at her desk again. This time three carefully wrapped boxes sat in front of her. Two had been mistreated more than the other, but she could see Kaidan’s block print on each tag. Christmas. It had come and gone three times. Twice during her death, and once hardly a month past. He had remembered her for each one. She hugged a package to her chest and cried. She had no idea how much time had past, she was only grateful she had not been disturbed. After the tears dried up, all she felt was numb. The boxes showing just how much he had cared. The grief he had felt, all that he had gone through during the two years she had been dead to the world.

With shaking hands she reached for the most worn box. She unwrapped it delicately. Determined to save the ribbon and the cheerful paper it came in. He had chosen this paper for her, and she would keep it for whatever time she had left. The box held a single, old fashioned skeleton key, and a holograph. She knew the picture instantly, all the time they spent talking about the shore leave they would share in his cabin. They fantasized, they whispered secrets, hopes, dreams, and in the end, would never have the opportunity.

Determined to make it through, she grabbed the next box. It was smaller than the first, her heart pounding after removing the paper to discover a ring box. Fresh tears came unbidden to her eyes as she pried it open. Pillowed in the soft velvet was a solid gold band, but not just any band. Upon closer inspection she found the quote “Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars” engraved on the inside. He read the book. She had told him to find it, begged him to read it. She choked on her tears, sobs racking her body. The box was meant for two rings, the twin missing from it’s spot. She didn’t know what it meant, if he kept it or not, but she knew to her core, that he had meant to marry her before Alchera had claimed her. She removed her chain, and slid the ring to rest alongside her dog tags, and tucked them into her shirt near her heart.

The last box sat in front of her, but she set it aside. Choosing instead to open the envelope attached to it.

Tavrien,

I don’t know if you received my email as you haven’t replied. I also wouldn’t put it past Cerberus to keep you from seeing it. This is my best bet, and all I can hope is that Liara didn’t let you down as I did.

I said terrible things to you on Horizon, Shep, and I live with regret everyday. Still, I trust you know that I never could have joined you when you asked. I hate Cerberus with every fiber of my being, but I know that if you had any other options, you wouldn’t be with them now.

Things are desperate with the Alliance, nobody wants to remember the Reapers, and nobody is listening to me about the Collectors. I’m feeling more helpless than ever, and I just found out you are headed to the Omega-4 Relay. I held you in my arms again, changed tune… practically suggesting you might be a clone, then finally realized I should have believed you were real, only to discover you are running headlong into a mission you may not survive.

I am holding out hope for you. Hope that you might return, hope that you might give me a chance to rectify my mistakes, hope that you might still feel the same way I do about you.

Come back to me, Tavrien.

All my love, Kaidan.

Tavrien’s hand covered her mouth, reigning in mournful sounds threatening to tear from her chest. Now, more than ever before, she had to survive. She would survive. Kaidan still loved her. She glanced at the final box, and tucked it into her desk. She made a promise to open it when she defeated the Collectors. She would open it with Kaidan. She would open it, but not until she was back home, where she belonged.

#kaidan alenko #female shepard #mass effect #mass effect fic #shenko #fshenko #tavrien shepard #tavrien shepard x kaidan alenko #me: fic #tavrien x kaidan #i don't mean to oneshot #steph did a thing #steph does holiday prompts #my writing #lechatrouge673

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