#if i have to rent my housing I'll get my own place and hate whoever owns that

[frogeyedape]

My parents are upset or confused by my lack of desire to rent from them the house I've lived in for over twenty years. My dad who talks with relish of being a slumlord (currently not renting out any property). Just. You make well over 4x as much as me and you want to profit off my needing housing? If I wanted to hate you, sure, it'd be a fine arrangement. Funnily enough, I don't want that.

[aakeysmash]

college!sukuna lives literally next door. you live in one of those apartment complexes where you rent a room and then have a common kitchen, bathroom and stuff with your almost-roommates inside of a bigger complex made of apartments just like yours, for students only.

if it wasn't for his 9 year old brother yuuji, who casually lives across from your room (wasn't this place for college students?) and is the literal definition of a ray of sunshine, you'd hate his guts. sure, he's hot for a guy who looks like he's failing half of his classes and makes sure you hear every single one of the girls he brings into his room at night, but he's still a major pain in your ass.

"where the hell do you think you're going?" he tells his brother, leaning on his door, arms crossed. the child is rushing to put his shoes on and zipping his sweater up.

"yn said she's going to take me running!" he responds grinning, tripping on his own feet from how excited he is before softly knocking on your door, all while sukuna looks at him raising one eyebrow.

"i'm starting to think you like her more than me, brat," he grits out just as you get out.

"oh he does, he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying it," you rub in his face without sparing him a glance. he huffs and rolls his eyes, really wanting to punch you in the face. you ignore him and smile at yuuji, getting at his eye level.

"ready? whoever gets tired last will be the first player tonight in mario kart," you say wiggling your eyebrows.

"deal!" he squeals happily before running out the door. you know he's going to wait for you, he's a good kid, he's not going to run away. he's more mature than any 9 year old should be.

"y'know, if you needed some cardio you could've come in my room," sukuna tells you coming closer and looking you up and down. you have this cute set on that is making him salivate, but he still maintains some kind of distance.

"on my dead body, itadori senior," you lightly push him out of the way and go back into your room to get your bag.

"come on, i'll even push your head in the sheets so as not to look at your annoying ass face," he remarks, and you shoot him a dirty glance. he flips you off.

"can you talk about something that doesn't make me want to rip my ears off?" you mumble while searching for your house keys.

"i can talk about how i'll break your neck if you don't bring back my brother in two hours, if you want," he says, looking at you from the doorway, bored.

"he still likes me more."

"when you get home there will be another lock, bitch."

[nathank77]

9/24/24

5:53 p.m

My mom is still very sick, she might go to the er tomorrow. I'm still worried about the mass..... hopefully it's cystic.... I know people can get cysts on their ovaries.

I played with reily when I got home. I do love her. I just want a better life for her. One where she has a yard and normal people.

From my perspective, I hate that if I don't find a gf who has a house or rents a home that she might have to come here to this house. I hope if I end up with a single mom, she has her own place and we never have to go here..

I don't want people here or animals. My mother will love the dog or whoever... but it's fucking toxic. It's toxic. Reily may not have eaten bc of anxiety.... worrying abt my mom vomiting. Me not taking her out which changes her schedule and me crying in my room.

And even if I was normal entirely, at least devoid of ocd let's say cause it's way more than background tbh.... I mean my mother is drunk and stumbles around. She yells. She repeats the same thing 4000 times in a minute. She's viciously mean. She's stupid.

And she's super ill. I want to protect reily and any person or animal from this environment bc me and my mother need to be taken care of.

I need to move out to a normal environment and slowly be exposed to normal situations and she needs to get fucking sober.

If it's cancer. I'm going to be a wreck. I can't lose her. I know I be saying stuff and posting whatever I want and people can be like holy shit look he takes photos of his mother on the floor. I'm in fucking disbelief that this is my life and this is a dairy in my nightstand. I know people read it. But I hope no one judges bc it's just therapeutic for me to write here.

I'll be honest in like June 2023 I started writing on tumblr bc I was hoping Elise would read it.... then my mental health started to die and it became therapeutic and the only way to get my feelings out especially when its hard to think clearly bc of the hallucination.

Elise is like non existant atm. I mean I think about her all the time but I have so many other things going on. And I can't make her care about me.

I suppose one day I'll find a girl and maybe one day Elise will show up for me personally.

I have all sorts of feelings about everything and right now ocd is all I think about and worrying about my mother while I also hate her for putting me through this.

I love and hate my mother. I love her more than I hate her but I want to keep her away from everyone so she doesn't damage them.