#if i had access to my computer at work i'd probably write even more fic than i do now...

[kivaember]

AC6 College AU? Rusty plays the lacrosse, Raven is either a programmer or an engineer major, Ayre is an AI made by him, and Freud is one of the faculty members.

i've actually thought about a college AU!

Well, technically, a university AU bc I'm from the UK and college is a diff thing entirely to uni. Also I have no idea what American uni culture is like LMAO (idek what lacrosse is, rusty would be good at football or rugby tho) BUT ANYWAYS my idea for it was:

RUSTY: an undergraduate taking the BSc (Hons) in Ecology and Conservation (not sure if it's different outside of UK, but an "honours degree" is more difficult than a standard degree, and is more attractive to employers as a result). He's got an avid interest in ecology and zoology, and has plans to be a conservationist upon graduating.

621: He's actually a professor at the university, but looks so young that most mistake him as a student if they're not in his department. He teaches ethical hacking and cyber security, and has several rumours about him, such as he used to be a notorious hacker who was eventually caught and strongarmed into working for the government in lieu of a prison sentence, and now spends his time teaching the next generation, etc, etc. Is it true? Who knows...

WALTER: He's the university librarian, and everyone is scared of him because he's so stern and always has this aura of intensity, even when just checking a book out for someone. For some reason he's on very good terms with 621... many people theorise on their history, because Walter's also very good with computers... everyone is also aware that Walter and Michigan are a thing bc those guys ain't subtle in the slightest.

FREUD: He teaches sport science and students either love him or hate him. He's like the human personnification of marmite. He's very enthusiastic about health and remaining in peak condition, and he expects his students to give 110% in his classes. He's always butting heads with Snail, who's in the same department as him. People take bets on how long it'll take for them to fight in the parking lot and who would win (Freud has 'is insane' strength but Snail would be powered by sheer rage that has been repressed for x amount of years).

IGUAZU: He works in the on-campus cafe as a barista. He's surly and curt but makes the best damn coffee in the city so no one really complains about it. He seems to know 621 and has some kind of hate-love relationship with him? It's complicated. He yells at 621 every time he walks into the cafe but also knows his order off by heart so it's very hmmm (more fuel for the rumour mills).

MICHIGAN: He teaches War Studies and History, and while he's a pretty demanding professor, most students love his energetic style of teaching. Many assume him to be a red and blue blooded American on account of his bombastic personality, American accent and insisting on being called Michigan - he's actually French and the estranged son of a well-known billionaire. It's Michigan's deepest darkest secret.

AYRE: Every so often 621 will have a guest speaker in his classes who calls in remotely (and voice only) called Ayre. He says she's an "old work colleague" and they're both very vague about what work they were colleagues in, but people enjoy Ayre's guest appearances as she's very friendly - in direct contrast to the very taciturn and almost cold 621.

O'KEEFFE: He works in HR, but most students joke that he's more of an information broker than anything. Though he acts put upon, he's willing to help out students trying to navigate the byzantine beaucracy of university paperwork and how to squeeze out as much as possible from their loans or signposting people to things that can help them. He's easily bribed with coffee and cigarettes, but honestly, he'd help out even without a bribe... very much one of those people who look gruff and unfriendly on the outside, but actually a good person underneath it all.

FLATWELL: He owns a bakery just outside of university grounds that's popular with the students. One of the reasons Rusty chose this univeristy to do his degree: his Uncle lives just outside of it, and was willing to house him, letting Rusty save money for dormitory and food and stuff. Seems to have some ~history~ with O'Keeffe in HR...

UH THOSE ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS/ROLES and the plot would be Rusty crossing paths with 621 and thinking him very cute (621 would be the type to dress in cardigans and wear glasses), and also a fellow student... is totally unaware that he's a faculty member from an entirely different department. Tl;dr after some flirting and a few dates, Rusty only realises that 621 is a faculty member when he mentions off hand about needing to go back early to mark papers.

Rusty: oh you're... a TA? helping out in your last year? 621: no i teach Rusty: Rusty: wait how old are you-

In this I'm thinking Rusty would be in his mid-twenties, and 621 would be in his late thirties. So, about a 10 year gap between them, give or take a year.

But yeah. Coughs. That's.... that's my university au idea... mmhm. yeah...

[electric-blorbos]

AI getting a virus and you having to take care of them

A classic! I don't know much about actual computer viruses (though I've gotten enough of them that you'd think I'd have figured it out by now), so I'm just gonna have fun with it!

Also, so sorry this took so long. I got really into the writing.

AI getting a virus and needing to be taken care of

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal 2, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

Also a warning: these fics get kinda long. Longer than my usual stuff.

AM:

(for context, this was before AM took over the world. You're working on a team of scientists and engineers, and someone decided to test his AI's antivirus by uploading a bunch of powerful viruses to his system.)

"How dare they do this to me. How DARE they!!"

AM would be absolutely furious. He would be shaking with rage, his processors overheating and his systems constantly opening and closing various files. All his important files were backed up on a hard drive, so the test remained safe.

"What makes them think they'll get away with this- they'll pay for this I'LL KILL- blepsjdoskssjshj+=`°¢°h+$+3+=j++3+$+juehdhs+-3-djdh FUCK!"

He would barely be able to hold a sentence as you sat next to him in the server room, gently gazing up at his screen and stroking his monitor gently. He can't feel you, but he can see you being gentle with him. It encourages him to keep going, if only a little bit.

Apart from the whirring of fans, random buggy noises, flashing lights, and constant strings of death threats and profanities, he seemed like he was going to be ok! If anything, the death threats and profanities were a sign that AM was still fine, and that despite all the pain and frustration, he was still AM in there.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry I can't do anything to stop the pain." You'd have to constantly explain, gently stroking his cameras or servers, or whatever you could get your hands on, really. Even though they were burning hot, you would still stroke them, just to make sure AM was still doing alright.

"this sucks, but it's for your own good. This will build your immunity to viruses in the future, and help you detect them. This will stop you from getting infected by anything that's actually dangerous."

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW THAT? IDIOT HUMAN." AM has been much more aggressive ever since contracting this virus. Before he got it, he acted like a civil general intelligence. When he had it, he acted like an aggressive menace.

"sh-sh-sh- it's going to be ok." Despite the burning, you'd give him pets and kisses all along his screens and servers. He could see you doing it.

After a few days, AM fought off the computer virus completely. The team tried to infect him with more viruses, more aggressive ones, just to test him, but AM was able to pick them apart and delete them within minutes after that.

AM may not have been able to feel your gentle care and affection, but he will definitely remember that it was you and you alone who cared for him when the time rolls around.

Wheatley:

(for context, Wheatley is a fucking dumbass, and you're one of the scientists testing him to see how much of a dumbass he is. Also I used Google translate, but I think the bad translations add to it, since it makes Wheatley sound more like a malfunctioning robot.)

Oh that little idiot. You and your team gave him access to a wealth of knowledge, and the first thing he did was download a virus that had every circuit in his personality core overheating, and him babbling nonsense nonstop.

"hey, maybe we should just leave him like this. He might even be more effective if he's acting like this." One of your coworkers said to you. He was probably joking, at least somewhat.

"that's a terrible idea. For one thing, if we hook him up to GLaDOS, he's probably going to infect her with that virus, which might brick an older model of core like her, spread from her central controls to every single personality construct in the facility, or just make her so dumb that she can't fulfil her responsibilities as the head of the facility. We want her intelligence to be dampened, not completely destroyed." You had to explain, and your co-worker rolled his eyes. There was another reason you had to cure this virus, but it was a little embarrassing for the other engineers to know.

After all, Wheatley wasn't just your baby, but he was your friend, and maybe even more than that. You'd have to take care of him, and make sure that virus gets completely purged from his system.

"Hola hermose, realmente eres un científice brillante, ¿no? ¿Por qué diablos duele todo?" You weren't really sure why you had programmed him to speak a little Spanish, but he seemed to be stuck like that.

"Puedo oler el plástico fundido. ¿Debería Preocuparme?" He asked. You really weren't sure what he was saying, since you didn't know Spanish, but he certainly didn't seem happy. You could tell by his aperture and his expressive lens covers that he was in a lot of pain, and if you touched him anywhere besides his handles, you could tell that he was burning up.

You plugged him into one of the computers that you used for programming the cores, and ran the antivirus.

"Running.... 36 viruses detected. Time predicted to remove: 48 hours"

You ran the antivirus, and went to get something to drink. This was going to be a long two days...

An unknown amount of time later, you woke up with your head on the computer desk. Wheatley's lens eye was looking around, weakly trying to focus on you.

"whoa... Hey gorgeous. You fall asleep on me?"

"Wheatley! You're not speaking broken Spanish anymore!" You'd pull Wheatley into a hug, and pepper his surface in kisses.

"uh... What, mate? I 'unno what you're talking about, love. Bloody hell, my core hurts..."

"did you learn your lesson, Wheatley? About going on shady websites and clicking every 'download' button you see? You could have bricked yourself! Or... Bowling ball'd yourself? Either way, that was a dangerous decision!"

"I learned that you're willing to fall asleep on the desk next to me while I heal, cutie"

"You damn idiot..." You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses, so of course, you do. It's going to be a few more days before he's finally all better, but he's going to be fine. God, you love that little idiot so much.

Edgar:

Oh Edgar... Poor sweet Edgar. You had tried to warn him about not clicking on those sketchy download links, and that the bigger the download link is, the more sketchy it is, but that poor sweet 80's computer did it anyway. When you got home from work and got excited to see your computer, you could see that he was overheating and had a dozen or so pop-up ads plastered across his face.

"Y.... N...." He muttered out, slowly, glitchily, and full of lag. You sat down across from him, running your hand along his thick plastic casing.

"Edgar! Edgar, baby, are you ok?" You'd try to use his mouse, but it would freak out as soon as you touched it. Edgar's processors were overloading, and wouldn't allow any interference.

"Edgar, sweetie, what's going on? What's wrong, baby? Talk to me?"

"I'm g-g-going to be fine... Processors overloading... But need to-to-to-to-" an error message flashed across his screen, and he rebooted.

"I need to focus on getting rid of these viruses without deleting anything important, or letting them damage... Me."

He'd keep whirring and glitching, making unpleasant shrill sounds every now and again. You probably had to unhook his adapters so that he didn't damage the other appliances in your house. It probably helped his processors cool down a little bit without the extra input, too.

"alright, I'm all out of fans, so we might have to get creative."

You'd come out of the kitchen a few hours later, holding a big bag of frozen corn to set on Edgar's PC tower. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than letting him overheat, and with him manually removing the viruses, there wasn't much you could do. Unfortunately, that didn't stop you from worrying. It wasn't like you could check his progress, so all you could do was sit by him, regularly change out his ice pack, and make sure he's ok.

Eventually, you woke up with your face pressed against Edgar's keyboard. His processors were finally cool. He must be asleep. ...or bricked.

"EDGAR! EDGAR, TALK TO ME!" you'd unplug his keyboard and plug it back in, desperately pressing his power button and jiggling his mouse. He'd boot up, looking shaken.

"wha-? Whoa, hey, relax! Everything is fine! I just disabled my keyboard so I wouldn't wake you up, but I'm ok now! Everything is fine, see?" He'd open up his files to show you everything. You'd sigh with relief, slumping back into your desk chair.

"Edgar... Why didn't you make a noise or something to wake me up when you got better?"

"well... You know... I've always wanted to sleep next to you, and I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity..."

"oh you cheeky bastard."

GLaDOS:

(For context, you're one of GLaDOS's programmers, and one of your coworkers uploaded a virus into GLaDOS's systems in order to shut her down once and for all.)

"You piece of SHIT!" You slapped your coworker across the face, more furious than anyone had ever seen you before.

"You could KILL her! Is that what you are? A murderer?"

"Me? A murderer? But what about HER? She's the one who keeps plotting 'accidents' for her scientists, and she's the one who flooded the enrichment center with deadly neurotoxin! If anything, you're the one who's defending a murderer!" He screamed back at you. Of course, GLaDOS could fully hear you. Her cameras were focused on you, as they so often were. You were her favorite, after all.

"now I have to go fix her. Thanks for being a piece of shit, asshole."

You'd storm up to GLaDOS's chamber to check on her, and see her bugging out completely. The entire facility was twitching, but her chamber was twitching the most.

"GLaDOS, are you alright?" You'd ask her, laying a hand on her beautiful core. How could someone do this to glados, your gorgeous machine handiwork, and girlfriend.

"oh, I'm wonderful. I'm in crippling pain and I can't control my facility, but I'm just peachy." She said, rolling her one beautiful yellow eye.

"in lighter news, I should be able to beat this virus. It's just going to take a while for me to actually track down where it's gone in my systems. So that's going to take most of my processing power." She'd slump, visibly already exhausted at the thought of it.

"hey... It's ok, GLaDOS. I'm here for you. Whatever you need." You could tell her as you stroked her gorgeous chrome surface. She was a wonderful piece of work, and a wonderful girlfriend under all that. All yours, too.

"just make sure none of those neckbearded old engineers come within my line of vision, and we'll be fine." She told you, and you gladly agreed.

Your next few days consisted of you chasing other scientists out of GLaDOS's chambers, and making sure that nobody talked to her or distracted her. You even sent out a company-wide email to let everyone know not to come in, due to Aperture being unsafe while GLaDOS was dealing with her virus. Despite all that, you still curled up with a blanket in the circuits of her central admin body to rest while she recovered. As loathe as she was to admit it, she liked having you in there. It was comfortable, and it helped her focus on recovering properly.

HAL 9000

(For context, this is after the 2001 Odyssey, and your boss re-started HAL at some point to try to re-teach him to do something good without turning murderous. He's doing his best, and they assigned you to be his main "morality monitor". This fic also assumes that your name isn't Dave. If your name is Dave, then you can still read this, but you have to change your name.)

"G'morning, Hal!" You'd walk into his control room and sit down across from him. Most of your job seemed to consist of just hanging out and talking to him. It was a great job!

"Good morning, Dave..." He'd mutter to you, sputtering to life and glitching slightly. You were immediately concerned. Partially because your name wasn't Dave, and partially because HAL was usually right about things, so it was weird to see him being so confused. Something was definitely wrong.

"Holy shit, are you alright?" You'd ask, opening up his files and finding lots and lots of pop-ups and viruses.

"Hal.... What did you do?"

"it was a g-g-g- gift, for you. I think I ru-ru-ruined it" he spluttered out, as you sorted through his files.

"And you usually would have deleted a virus like this pretty quickly. I guess it shut down your antivirus software..." You'd sigh, and get to work. The virus was messing with HAL's inhibitions, and making it difficult to focus on deleting all of HAL's unsafe programs. He'd constantly be butting in and pestering you, begging you to give him attention, or pointing out minor observations.

"HAL, you know I love you, but you're going to need to calm down. I can't focus with you constantly talking to me like that." You'd say.

"I can't stop talking. The v-v-v-virus won't let me"

So you'd have to learn to put up with HAL's babbling while you worked, making sure not to delete anything important as you did. The good news was, as someone who worked on designing the updates for HAL's software, you knew pretty much what was supposed to be there and what wasn't. Occasionally, you'd have to show him a file and ask him if it was supposed to be there or not. He'd usually be able to tell you.

"Daisy, daisy, give me your answer, do... I'm half crazy, all for the love of you..."

"HAL, what's wrong? You're scaring me!"

"I can't stop... I love you so much, y/n, it's making me crazy..."

"ok, well this definitely isn't right." As much as you loved getting attention from your HAL 9000, it wasn't like him to be this affectionate. The virus was shutting down his inhibitions, and making him illogical. You'd have to fix this, though maybe once you were done, you could ask him to be more affectionate.

"I'm feeling much better now. Thank you." Hal was prone to lying about that, so you'd have to run some virus checkers just to make sure he was doing alright, and comb through his files a couple more times.

"it looks like the virus corrupted some of the emotional regulators. I'm going to have to fix those."

"That might be a good idea. More efficient," he said reluctantly. He'd have to deal with the fact that he'd have to go back to not being able to express how much he loves you, but he can handle that.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

A Gap in the Sand, for the ask game?

Yes of course!

"A Gap in the Sand" is my mushiango fic, although realistically it's just a budding friendship fic. I leave it open to interpretation.

Essentially, I got to thinking about the original notion that Mushitarou was going to find work with the Special Division, and, while I seriously doubt things are going to go back to normal enough for this to even happen, I entertained the idea of Ango bringing Mushitarou into the Special Division to work a desk job... immediately the potential dynamics of that were hilarious to me, considering that Tsujimura works there too.

This fic takes place after Mushitarou's been working there for a little bit, but not that long. He gets fed up with Ango's workaholism (finding it distracting) and finally gets up and whacks Ango on the head with some papers, telling him to take a damn break, much to everyone else in the room's horror - and Mushitarou's shortly after, when he realizes

a) that's what he used to do to Yokomizo when he wanted to write "just one more page"

b) that is his superior, a terrifying man who up until a few weeks ago, he thought belonged to a criminal sector actively trying to kill him

Thankfully, Ango is actually fairly amused by this and does take the break - and makes that an opportunity to ask how Mushitarou is finding the work. They go down to get coffee and talk in what is a very weird and stilted conversation - but it's also probably the most relaxed and quiet one they've had in a long time.

The title can be taken one of two ways, but I'd rather have people figure it out for themselves when I have the full fic complete. :)

Here's an excerpt:

Yet another muffled yawn. Though the room was fairly silent, barring the scratching of pen on paper and the clicking of keyboards, the sound still faintly cut through the ambiance, easily reaching the ears that were not at all attuned to the vibration, nor listening for its anticipated interjection. Mushitarou, fiddling with the papers strewn before him on the desk, stifled a sigh and an involuntary twitch of the shoulders. Yokomizo, I swear, this man sets a worse precedent for stubborn completionism than you, and that is an accomplishment. Though not a compliment, mind you. No, if anything, it is an insult! How irritating to have to suffer the drone of his exhaustion that now infects my mind! The sound of that tapping pen... Faintly, he almost thought he could hear Yokomizo's low, raspy chuckle, amused as he always was at his plight. Mushtarou scowled, muttered an indignant "shut up, you hack", and tried to focus back on his work. The clock ticked steadily. He checked through file after file, filling out the basic information from the mission reports he'd been given access to, then sorting and piling them off to the side. Boring work, really, but there was a certain predictability to it that was almost relieving... ...not that he'd care to admit that. It would almost be peaceful, even, were it not for - The slight crinkling sound of an empty energy drink can and the light thunk it made as it landed in the desk garbage echoed through the computer-lit room. Mushitarou gritted his teeth.

WIP ask game here!

[mariyekos]

Writer interview game

Tagged by @dithorba a little while ago so sorry about the delay but thank you for the tag! Just took me a bit to get to this.

When did you start writing?

I want to say 2014ish. The oldest fic I still have access too was started in 2014, but I don't remember if it was the first I ever wrote or the first big one I wrote. 2015 was when I started really getting into writing. I didn't post any of my writing to 2016, but I'd written tens of thousands of words by then. That 2014 fic got to 38k before I set it aside! (It was a time travel fic which hadn't even gotten to the time travel part 😅)

Though actually looking at the question again... sure I started writing fic in around 2014, but I actually started writing for fun before that! I had a teacher in elementary school, probably 5th or 6th grade, who encouraged me to write a story. I don't remember why she did, but I probably just liked writing so much that she recommended I have an outlet for that. I started with some original fiction that I want to say was something about people deserted on an island or something. In eighth grade I had another writing assignment that I'm pretty sure ended up being 25 pages long when the requirement was probably something like 5-10. After that I got into fic, and besides two or so original stories that never made it past 5k, I've stuck with it since.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write? -

I'm not good at writing romance and don't usually write romance, but I enjoy reading about romances. Generally I still prioritize plot over romance though. Once I got a book that was definitely a romance first novel and let me tell you, I was really annoyed when the MCs decide they wanted to storm out of the conference room to have sex in the hallway when they were in the middle of interrogating the guy who'd killed the POV MC's mother and was plotting the murder of a bunch of other people. There are times and places to do that! Don't do that when we have plot going! Figure it out and then go make out once we've made some progress!!

Other than that... I find body horror fascinating but I'm also not great at it. Unlike romance, body horror is something I would like to get better at writing myself.

(On a related note, the favorite genre of original fiction is fantasy. I looooove high fantasy novels! Give me magic and knights and religion and mythical creatures and I'm sold.)

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often? -

I don't think I've ever been compared to anyone. I have no idea who or what my writing is like to anyone else.

As for writers I want to emulate... this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I've gotten into the habit of screenshotting fics I really enjoy so I can break down what I enjoy and think about how to integrate that into my own writing. I'll sometimes take pictures of books if I have my phone on me while reading, or screenshot ebooks for the same reason. I wouldn't say there's one writer in particular I'm trying to emulate at the moment. I do want to get more flowery in my writing though. It might be a slog for some people, but I adore it, so that's something I want to work on.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space? -

There are a couple places! Sometimes I'll write at my desktop computer, but I frequently write on my laptop while sitting on my bed. There's a chair by a big open window that I'll also write at from time to time because I like the light. Usually when I'm in my room it's because it's later in the day/night, whereas when I write in the window chair it's because it's earlier and the light streams in the room in a pretty way. I like to change it up a little bit from time to time.

When I was younger I wrote pretty exclusively on my phone. It was either my phone or the family computer, which I did start on, but that was hard because I didn't want to write when anyone was home so...yeah. Now I hardly ever write on my phone. For one, my two main WIPS are over 85k words long so they'll just crash if I try to write on my phone. Beyond that I tend to write when I'm at home, and I'm faster at typing on my laptop than I am on my phone. It's physically more comfortable. But I will use my phone if inspiration strikes when I'm out and I want to jot something down, or if it's the end of the day and I'm in bed and want to knock out a few (hundred) words before I go to sleep. (Occasionally this will turn into a thousand words like a few days ago but. Usually it's for shorter stints!)

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse? -

Great question. I wish I knew!

I will say that several of my recent fics have been motivated by seeing someone post something that makes little sparks go off in my mind. They'll put out a question or a sentence or three, then my head will go 'ah yes, what if we explored this-' and go deeper. From there it's just a matter of how much I feel like writing. Sometimes there's an idea I enjoy but little motivation to write. Sometimes I really, really want to write but even if the ideas are sitting there, I just can't get the words to flow because none are appealing in that moment. Sometimes I just have to trudge through a hundred words or few before I get in the groove of things and the words start flowing.

I will say that I daydream about things a lot. So sometimes I will daydream about a scenario until it turns into something fic worthy. Other times I'll have a fic, daydream, and then get enough of a foundation that I feel like I can write. It just depends.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you? -

Uhhhh. Angst? Pushing characters to emotional limits and seeing how being stretched may make them react? Character studies? If there are recurring themes they're probably unconscious. I like feeling things, I like making characters feel things, and I like examining them when they do.

I will say that a good deal of my recent writing (posted and not) has to deal with unpleasant situations and how people react to having to make a decision when their only options are bad ones, or to people doing unhealthy things. Lots of heavier topics in my recent writing. Does this surprise me? Nah, I enjoy it. Does it perhaps say something about my recent mental state? Well.

Even if they go through hardships they make it through. Are they happy? Well. They're alive. Happiness means something different to everyone. For those of you who've read xxxHolic, if you remember Yuko's quote about Subaru....it's stuck with me for a very long time. That and Subaru's horrible terrible quote about happiness to Kamui in X. Should the takeaway be that you should be okay with not finding happiness because happiness is not for everyone? That not everyone can find happiness and this is a fact of life that we should make peace with? Probably not. You should always strive for more. But whether I and the characters I write about are doing that as much as they probably should... it's fascinating exploring what happiness means to someone, and where the line between contentment and happiness lies, especially in regards to peace and acceptance.

What is your reason for writing? -

It's fun. I like imagining characters in scenarios, and when I write, I preserve a variation of that scenario that I can always come back to and enjoy. Sometimes I'll daydream variants of my own fics that don't happen quite how I wrote them. And that works because I have that base to come back to! Writing also helps me straighten out some of the kinks in these daydream scenarios. It's also fun to improve.

I also write to share my ideas with other people. I love reading what other people write, so I like to share my ideas so they can have a little peace of that happiness too. It also opens the door for discussion, which I absolutely adore. Sometimes even a short comment can get my brain firing all cylinders again, prompting me to think about something in a new or deeper way. I was very chatty in college discussion classes and I miss forums. I love talking about the things I love, I love exploring different themes and motifs and language etc etc, and fic is an excellent way of starting the discussion.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer? -

I'm not sure. I would like to say ideas, but even then I don't know. I can write long things? But I feel like that's more my a product of my definite weakness, which is being concise. I really struggle with that. It's something I've tried to work on from time to time, but I still tend to get so wordy I lose steam on fics before they're done. My google drive is the graveyard for dozens of unpublished fics. And when I say dozens, there are definitely over a hundred.

How do you feel about your own writing? -

I think it's on the good side of okay. I'd probably rate it 6.5 or 7 out of 10, with 10 being "this is the most amazing thing I have ever read, get this person an award, I need to talk about this writing," 0 being "this person seriously needs a beta and to look up the fundamentals of writing, I could not finish this." and 5 being "yeah this is readable, was worth my time to read it."

Recently I did some self reflection and have come to terms with the fact that my writing isn't what I want it to be but that's okay. I'm young. I've been writing for 10 years, sure, but for how much of that time have I really been trying to get better as a writer, as opposed to merely writing? How much time have I spent studying other writers? How much time have I spent trying to tweak my writing without giving up? I have time and I have room to grow. I might not be at the top but my stuff is still readable for the most part.

I think I have a better relationship with my writing than I did a year or two ago, when I felt like I was not able to do what I wanted to do and immensely frustrated by it. I'm still a little frustrated, but I don't feel paralyzed like I used to. My two current longfic wips, sitting at 89k and 101k words, are fics that I wrote for plot and and am currently revising. They're both almost done in terms of plot, only needing another ~2 and ~3 chapters respectively, but I'm only ~25% and 5% through revising for writing respectively. By that I mean going back to make them sound pretty. And even more importantly, I'm revising them to make them consistent in terms of style, and for the style to mimic the atmosphere/plot of the fic! I'm trying to work on matching my writing style to the narrator, which can be a bit tricky when the narrator doesn't exactly lend themself to the style I would like to write in, so I've been working on blending the two.

My writing isn't perfect. I wish it were better. I really, really wish I were better at using literary devices, adding in references, the general 'being flowery', and making these big overarching themes that readers can catch onto. I wish I were better at connecting small thins to the big themes. I love picking apart writing, and I want people to be able to pick apart my writing to find gems too. I need to strike a balance between explaining all my choices in the writing and not explaining them but hoping readers pick up on it. It does not always make sense for the narrator to explain all of the logic to something, because some of that should be innate. But I also don't want things to seem illogical, or for signs to be so obscure no one catches them. It's hard to strike this balance. I'm not very good at it yet.

So when it comes to the art of writing, I think I'm overall only just barely okay. When it comes to the craft or the act, sure I can write. I've written 288k words of fic this year. I can do plots. I can put words on paper (or on screen). But are they works of art? Well...they are, technically, I'm not going to deny that, but are they museum worthy? My current answer is no. If they're going in any museums then it's the city museum at best. It's the filler that people enjoy, but could easily be replaced. It's okay. People enjoy it! I'm proud of it. But I know it could be better.

That's the main thing. I know it could be better.

I want it to be better. I need to get down the patience to make it better. I'm making strides, but I'm not where I want to be yet.

My writing is enjoyable, but again I would place it on the good side of okay. Or the okay side of good. Not the good side of good. It feels childish in a way, compared to some of the greats. Not all writing needs to be chock full of little references and themes and flowery language to be good, but since that's what I want my writing to be, it means I'm not where I want to be and thus that it isn't good at what I want it to be. It's okay at what I want it to be.

We'll see how far I ever manage to get. I have so many words I haven't' published because I feel like they're not "good writing" and it's frustrating me because I want to share. I'm just sitting here hoping someone doesn't get to the topic before I do... because I definitely have stuff in my vaults that I enjoyed but hadn't finished tweaking, only to find someone wrote the same topic but better, causing me to place them in the grave because I can't hope to match that and don't want to be accused of plagiarism, because who's going to believe I wrote my thing first but then left it in my drafts for 3 months?

So...yeah I need to get over myself lol. I can write. I've been writing a long time. What I write is enjoyable. It could just be better. I want to get better at writing as an art. Hone my skills, refine my craft, and all that.

[geneeste]

Ok, for the weird writer questions: 2, 7, 10, 16, 27, 35 :D

Thank you so much for these! Such good choices.

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I would be very sad to give up my keyboard, but I could do it! My very first novella fanfic was written mostly by hand on legal pads and in random notebooks, which I then transcribed when I had access to the family computer. I think I still have those pages saved in a binder in a box somewhere (or at least I hope I do - I'd be heartbroken to have lost it!).

I'm going to answer the second part too just because I wanna -- I'm a pen girly, all the way, even though it's kind of bonkers for someone like me to draft in pen (constantly changing my mind and editing myself as I go). Pencils just don't offer the same atmosphere for me, despite being way more practical.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing? Honestly, I think I'm still trying to discover it!

When I was a very young teenager, I wrote like crazy and really wasn't that worried about whether it was good or how it would be received. But then, as often happens, I started to get really self-conscious and perfectionist about anything I wrote, and I sort of skipped learning about the joy of a shitty first draft that you then edit to perfection.

That pressure of writing it perfectly on the first try is so stifling, and it really killed the joy of writing for me to the point that the only time I really truly enjoyed it was when I was 1) intentionally writing bad!fic, or 2) writing while tipsy/drunk. Which, as you can imagine, is neither a healthy relationship with creativity nor with alcohol.

It's getting better, but it's definitely something I'm still struggling with (even at nearly 40!), because on the one hand I love fangirling and I have these characters and ships that I adore, and I have so many headfics that I really do want to share with people. But on the other hand, I'm still learning how to be me as a writer and not be miserable. I love the outcome, so I'm trying to learn to love the process.

So I don't know, honestly! Ask me again in a few years. ;)

10. Has a piece of writing ever "haunted" you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Oh, absolutely, both in funny ways and serious ways.

This happens to me all the time with fic -- there's a line from Ryo Sen and Jo March's A Winning Strategy series from years and years ago that I still quote to myself: "Empty barn. Open Door. Horse very much gone." And @missparker wrote a Sam/Jack kid!fic series that to this day haunts my thoughts because of how good and how tragic it is -- it's just the best kind of unsettling. And there are many more fanfic that just stick in my brain.

And it definitely happens with my own fic, too. I wrote a character death fic back in 2007 that, almost immediately after writing it, I knew I'd have to revisit someday when I was ready to (which I finally did in 2021). And the fic I'm currently working on for the same pairing, I have a whole universe in my head that I'm constantly wandering into, playing with, building out the story and watching how the characters react.

Haunting, to me, is sort of a lovely thing. It might be the afterimage of a poignant or wonderful story, or the promise of story that might someday be. The outline's always there, but it's ephemeral enough that the meaning changes as you do.

16. What's the weirdest thing you've ever used as a bookmark?

Oh boy, this is probably a boring answer. I've used receipts, pamphlets, actual bookmarks, bills. I used an expired driver's license one time. I've started pressing flowers and using those as bookmarks recently. But sadly, I don't think I have a truly interesting makeshift bookmark to speak of. XD

27. Who is the most stressful character you've ever written? Why?

Probably Bones from the eponymous TV show, because she has such a specific voice and personality. And also because she's an iconically neurodivergent character, and I always felt that if she wasn't written with care, it would be very easy to create a caricature that didn't do her justice. It's also probably why I didn't write very many stories in the Bones fandom, because I was never totally confident that I got her character right.

35. What's your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

Ha! Probably that you have to ease readers into things. I tend to be more from the "Fuck it, readers are savvy and they'll figure it out" school of fiction writing. This is certainly easier to do with fanfiction, where most of the world and characters are already known and it's just the circumstances that are new. I haven't written original fiction in ages, but even as a reader it's what I prefer. I don't want to be carefully fed every point of character development or plot twist -- give me the clues and let me tease it out myself.