#if i get anything ill do them maybe this weekend im kinda busy for the next day or so

[the-deadlock-south]

love how years later i still really like cassidy/hanzo. Im gonna blame this on the fact every time im in a game with a cass we somehow end up hip to hip for most of the game and its just silly overall

[heyitsyn]

MANAGER!SEIJOH AU

a/n: this is kind of an au like what if you were

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

- 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 i would like to request a seijoh!manager reader who’s a first year and is siblings with ushi and the team’s reaction to finding out that she was supposed to go to shiratorizawa with ushi and their reaction with her getting along with the shiratorizawa volleyball team and maybe the manager is a small cute soft little energetic ball of sunshine 🥺🥺 also hewwo, hope youre doing well! ☺️ -🎷🐛

- Ir seijoh manager series is so gooood. Can we get something where by some weird reason yn-chan is close to ushijima and tendou and the seijoh boys dont know about it and how they'd react to her being so affectionate w them ahahwindkdn

EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT HOW FREAKING PRETTY TENDOU IS LIKE AKLFDJLASKFJDLSKFJDSFLKD

okayokayokay

so this is a what if thing

like what if ushijima was your older brother

SLKFDJADFLIJSDKLDF I CAN ALREADY IMAGINE OIKAWA SCREAMING

you didnt exactly have the best relationship with your mom

you remember when you were younger that she used to yell at your brother for using his left hand and you got angry a lot because you were fiercely protective of your brother

this caused her to yell at you too for being nosy and being involved in something you shouldnt be in

duh we know that ushi’s dad takashi actually supported him for this and protected him too and you were also a papa’s girl so you always ran to him

he understood you both better and while your mother worked, he was at home taking care of you two

then when they mentioned wanting to separate, you were very sad but somewhat relieved

mostly because you hated hearing your parents arguing and you felt bad for your brother as he constantly did whatever to get you out of the house

thats what brought on your love for volleyball

you werent exactly the best player but you were interested in it and often watched matches with him

but you also liked volleyball because your brother liked it

you liked whatever your brother liked

he adored you too and he was a boy who didnt talk much due to your mother but he was always a talker with you

especially when you couldnt sleep, he would sneak you out of your room and you both would run to the kitchen and eat ice cream

even with just a 2 year age difference, he looked as if he was older than you due to his massive height

‘just wait nii-chan! i will drink enough milk to reach your height!’

*insert lenny face*

AKLDJFSLDKFJDF I HATE MYSELF

CAN I PLEASE DIE

however

when they divorced, you thought your father would take both you and ushi

like the lady at the court even asked you where you wanted to go and not a breath of hesitation you chose your father

you weren’t very concerned because you knew your brother was going to choose your dad as you both were closer to him

so imagine your surprise when he said he didnt care and naturally, the mother would get the child

lowkey you felt hella betrayed and when your dad whisked you away overseas, there was this grudge you held against toshi

yall youre like 5

i would be hella mad too if my brother chose the person who yells at him all the time

in california, your father made sure you still remembered your brother and you tried to detach from the japanese lifestyle to your new one but you just couldnt

maybe around 6 years you were already fed up with the hot california heat and you wanted to go back to japan to see toshi again

you got over that grudge years ago but your mother refused to have any contact or anything to do with your father and so that included you too

she refused to let you both video chat and any type of connection

your dad obviously noticed your sad expressions and your obvious longing to go back to your brother again and so he arranged something

you shut the door gently before taking off your shoes by the doorway

the large house was often quiet except for the constant typing of a keyboard in your father’s study

‘tadaima’

you meekly mumbled but his sense of hearing never wavered so he heard your voice

‘oh? y/n?’

his voice echoed through the hallways and you heard his chair squeak as it was moved back so he could stand

your sock-cladded feet padded against the hard wood floor and you walked towards his study where indeed he was standing there

your father has definitely aged yet his job as a coach made him as fit as he was decades ago

as much as it disgusted you, you could tell what your friends meant when they said your dad was good-looking

they actually said your dad was hot but you refuse to acknowledge that

you and your friends are like 12 tf

you closed the door and sat down on the loveseat at the corner of the room as it was your designated spot

‘hey, papa’

you greeted with a smile and he gave you the same grin

‘i ordered f/f (favorite food) for dinner tonight so try and listen for the bell to ring, okay?’

you nodded

there was bit of small talk and you asked about his team while he asked about school and you both arranged to hang out over the weekend at some ice cream shop

the conversation dragged on until you heard the doorbell and you ran to the door to answer the delivery man

your dad put out the plates on the table and you excitedly dug in

‘also, you remember your grandmother? and her terrible back?’

oh god of course you did

they lived about 30 minutes away from your house in japan and she constantly worried your father bc the woman was approaching 90 and was still picking peppers!

with old coach ukai

‘what did she do now?’

your father chuckled at the exasperation in your voice

‘she misses you. says something about the family’s princess needing to go back to her country or something’

there was a smile in your face

your grandmother was your favorite and she always said you were the princess

she hated your mother because of how insensitive she was so she only acknowledged you as the only other female in the family

obviously your brother was also liked but there was just a special bond between you and your grandmother

‘so when are we going back?’

you asked and it was clear that you were excited at the thought of going back to japan as you havent been back since you moved due to your father’s busy job and your school

takashi swallowed his food before revealing the news

‘actually, if you want, you could finish your schooling there. but only until college first though because your old man needs you over here too’

nah bro you didnt even care about the last part

literally your fork fell to the table and you shrieked 

‘WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?!’

and thus brought you back to japan

you stayed with your grandmother on your dad’s side and you quickly got accustomed back to japan life

OH

your BROTHER!

okay

so waka-chan def heard you coming back

your mother was grumbling about it the other day and he was sure he heard your name in there

‘sdkfjkdslfjdkslfj y/n dkfjlsdkfjldkf’

LMAO THATS ME TRYING TO SAY THAT WAKA COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID SINCE SHE WAS MUMBLING SHE WASNT KEYBOARD SMASHING LMAO

there was a mutual giddiness in there too and he was excited to see you again after many years without contact

however

there was a bit of fear in there that thought back to when you were younger and his choice of not really having a specific parent despite your pleads to stay together with him

but he was going to make sure your bond was still intact!

he would do anything in his power to do so!

when you arrived

your dad accompanied you back to japan and you both were walking out to the exit of the airport when you saw your grandmother excitedly waving a sign around

in bold sparkly letters, it said ‘USHIJIMA’

okay wait i love grandma usui 

you quickly ran over to her and she grasped you into her arms

‘nana’

you sobbed and she hugged you tightly

‘im so happy youre back home’

your father shook hands with the friend she brought to help drive you guys back home

old man ukai was basically the chauffeur but hes really good friends with your nana so it was okay

the entire ride you guys basically caught up with each other and you couldnt help but laugh whenever your dad would go on a rant about your grandma being too reckless and your nana defending herself

‘oh stop it, takashi. i was only given one life and if it’s over, it’s over. for now, ill live it how i see fit!’

your old family home was exactly as you remember it but you didnt expect the 6′2 boy in the living room

‘nii-chan’

you meekly whispered and he let out a soft smile before opening his big arms

you ran into them and he held you tightly

‘i missed you. so much’

he whispered and you nodded 

it was def such a nice thing to have your brother again

oooo your dad been knew that you would be sticking to waka like you did when you were itty bitty young

so when you practically begged waka to stay at your nana’s house the entire summer, he couldnt refuse you

duh your mom went to see you but you just quietly sat there and smiled at her

polite but distant

due to being around waka so much, you naturally went to his volleyball practices and their training camp

there

you met his friends and you guys quickly got acquainted especially with tendo bc he was just so fun

and he was your brother’s boyfriend best friend

the others were still kinda distant with you ahem ahem im looking at you shirabu

but they were mostly amazed at how powerful the genetics played in your appearances because wowza you were beautiful

lmao dont let waka hear them say that bc they would be benched all season in a single snap

during training camp, you usually sat at the sides or you would be their stand-in manager

goshiki absolutely LOVES you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOSHIKI MY SON MY BABY

him and you were the same age so there was an easier way of being friends and your energies just matched so well

he would run up to you whenever he got a play right and you would ruffle his hair affectionately

LADKSJFLDSKFS FLASHBACK TO TENDO!SISTER X GOSHIKI

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

‘y/n-chan!’

hell even ushi was getting annoyed at goshiki’s constant need for you

tendo would steal you away and he would be giggling to you about how adorable you were and you just giggled along bc wow this beautiful man is really talking to me right now

ALKSDJFLKSF CAN YOU TELL IM ALSO A TENDOODOO SIMP?

‘cmere, y/n-chan. i taught toshi this the other day and he was very impressed and wanted me to do it again. okay so it goes in a rhyme, ya ready?’

you nodded along and he shot you a close-eyed smile before starting to draw on the dirt with a stick

‘there once was a man with-’

lets just say

you were definitely your brother’s sister

sometimes though

you would try and go towards the calmer players to get away from the rowdiness from baby daddy tendo and baby goshiki

you would find them at the gym just doing drills and at the sight of you, they would turn red but continue playing

they didnt really mind seeing you there bc youve always been such a positive energy and cheered them on which gave them strength

‘NICE ONE OHIRA-SAN!’

‘WAHHH SO COOL YAMAYAMA-SAN!’

you were like a cute ball of serotonin >o<

‘wah, of course its expected for you guys to be the top in the prefecture. youre like,,,,, silent but deadly~!’

duh a compliment from a girl?

dead

shirabu’s bangs would get in the way of his vision sometimes yall i will never stop making fun of that ridiculously adorable haircut so you would use a clip and tuck it away for him

this big babie is so awkward that he turns red when you whisper in his ear that you were done

semisemi baby and you got along bc you guys had a similar taste in music and because you lived in california, he was fascinated that you were in the music capital of america

‘did you see celebrities down the street?’

he asked you excitedly one day during lunch

you stopped then smiled softly

‘semisemi-kun, i didnt live at that part of california’

nah to him, america is just filled with celebrities

OH DEAR BABY BOY KAWANISHI

taichi is a generally quiet guy

like you thought he was actually selectively mute when you first met him

but you gradually got him to talk and you would help him whenever he would want to practice

usually it was during the ungodly hours of the morning

you woke up and went to grab a drink from the common room but you noticed his large build exiting the door so you followed him into the gym

‘kawanishi-san?’

you called out and felt guilty when he jumped 

‘oh, hey’

he aknowledged

‘wha-’

you stopped to yawn causing your eyes to close making you miss the brief second of softness that flashed in his eyes

‘what are you doing?’

you tiredly asked

taichi dusted off his trackpants after kneeling down to rummage through his bag and you couldnt help but gawk at his height

‘im training early’

he answered

‘why? is it because you want to keep up with the others?’

you mumbled and he was surprised for a second but reverted back to his stoic expression

‘i have to make sure i am able to reach my seniors level for next year’

taichi turned away to grab a stray ball and you moved to go to the storage room for the ball cart

‘oi, what are you doing? go back to bed’

he said from the other side of the gym but you just looked back at him with a tired grin

‘meh, i want to spend time with you, senpai’

you reasoned

he shook his head before walking over to you then ruffled your hair

‘no wonder youre so tiny. you dont sleep enough and let your body grow’

yep that was the closest youve gotten to taichi joking with you

usually, hes training and when hes in the zone, nothing else has his attention but the ball

maybe thats why the others ahem goshiki has said that he was very scary

his game face was practically a mean face

basically you spent the entire training camp with them and then soon, you were going back to school

duh everyone hmm maybe not shirabu bc he most definitely read the school book of rules thought you would be going to shiratorizawa with them 

but you broke the news to them one afternoon and imagine the tears from both tendo and goshiki

‘WHHYYYY!!!!’

‘NOOO!!!!!’

‘why can’t you?’

semi asked and you were about to answer when shirabu beat you to it

‘the school doesnt allow late transfers’

oh right

the american school system was set in a different schedule than a japanese school system

it was considered the summer for them yet school already started a few months ago

since shiratorizawa was a very academically and physically prestigious school, they refused anyone who would potentially be late or behind their curriculum

‘so where ya headed to then, chibi?’

tendou pouted and you leaned against his arm

‘hmm some school named aoba johsai? i dont know its near my grannie’s so that’s all that mattered’

oh dear

USHIJIMA NO Y/N WILL NOT ASK TOORU TO GO TO SHIRATORIZAWA

they consider seijoh a rival bc theyve played against them practically in every prefecture tournament and they were worried for that infamous setter

‘ne, y/n-chan, promise us that you won’t be swept away by them! especially a guy named oikawa tooru!’

uhhh

well

tendou’s warning was kinda ignored bc you ended up being seijoh’s manager

hehe

surprise?

but they weren’t really really shocked tho bc they knew you liked volleyball so you would naturally be in the volleyball team

even as a manager

meanwhile in seijohhh

OooOOOoOoOooooo sEiJOOhHHHH~~~~~~

okay so you were actually registered under your father’s last name usui rather than the ushijima last name

therefore you werent exactly immediately known as HEY! USHIJIMA’S SISTER!

you still became the manager the way you did as mentioned in part 1 

and you still are their adorable baby manager

you were aware of their oikawa’s hatred for wakawaka so you try not to talk about him even though youre literally the closest person to him

was it traitorous? 

maybe

but you actually even help them when they practice

duh the boys are like eyebrow raise emoji 

‘wow youre really into volleyball, huh, manager-chan?’

matsukawa commented and you just smiled

‘hmm, my family likes it so ive picked up a thing or two’

LMAO

little do they know your brother is literally the best volleyball player around and is a member of the under 19 team and your father is a volleyball coach in america and would someday be someone iwaizumi hajime (19) would apprentice under

there was a lot of times you thought you would slip up like your home screen was of you and waka but youve been careful to cover it up

BUT

you cant always be sneaky

it was during the first day of the tournament and you were filling up their water bottles I SWEAR WHY IS MANAGER-CHAN ALWAYS FILLING UP WATER BOTTLES when you found a familiar bunch of boys at the end of the hallway just chatting

you havent seen tendou and the boys in so long so you placed the bottles down and rushed over there so quickly

‘TOMUTOMU!’

you shouted and the oddly-haired boy turned and he gasped before grabbing you into a large hug

this grabbed tendou’s attention and he cheered then hugged you too

your giggles and happy cheers were so infectous and they just absolutely missed you so much 

these tall boys were at a advantage so someone scooped you up and you were just affectionately being talked to and hugged and LKDSJFSLDFJ SO LUCKY SO LOVED

meanwhile

the plant babies were wondering where the heck you went to 

‘y/n-chan?! where is she?!’

oikawa panicked quickly while iwaizumi hit him to shut up

‘be quiet! you won’t find her if you’re too busy freaking out!’

‘ill find her’

matsukawa volunteered and they nodded, feeling at ease of him being capable to find you if you were in trouble

but when he returned empty-handed and with large eyes, they knew something was up

they ran behind mattsun to stop and copy his shocked expression at the sight in front of them

is that

you?

with

shi

ra

to

ri

za

wa

oh my god

‘y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted, being the first to speak

you jumped and your own eyes widened

‘oh. oh no’

you mumbled

the others were so stunned and seijoh itself was so hard to make speechless but they were just shocked

period

‘what is happening’

iwaizumi mumbled

yea the others were just shocked period

‘hey guys’

you waved and you motioned them closer

‘uhh,,, well,,, um they are my friends’

you smiled uneasily and they could see that

‘aaand?’

oikawa signalled you to say everything bc he knew it wasnt the whole story

you sighed

‘ushi,,, jima is my brother’

you mumbled the last part

but they heard you

‘HAH?!’

you cringed and the shira boys were about to move to protect you but they saw you glare at them

‘what? what about it? hes my brother? and?’

you babbled

‘but,, why are you,, in seijoh? dont get me wrong! its just,, youd naturally go to shiratorizawa right?’

mattsun waved his hands around and asked the question thats bugging the team

‘i came to the country late’

‘THE COUNTRY?!’

well,,

turns out you havent exactly told them everything about you yet :/

even when youve cleared the air and introduced waka as your brother, seijoh still didnt say anything

they were stuck in this shocked and surprised moment even at the end of the day and when you went straight to the shiratorizawa team,

they watched with wide eyes as you laughed with goshiki and was jumping around with tendou

‘AH! TOMU! MY HAIR!’

‘TORI-SAN! SATORI-SAN! TAKE THAT!’

wow you were actually really beautiful when youre happy

‘i dont think ive seen her this happy with this much energy’

makki said and they nodded

it was true

you were usually calm and collected and was the perfect balance to this chaotic team

so seeing you so free and loose with them was so refreshing, even if it was with damn ushiwaka

you finally went back to the seijoh boys and they all sent glares to the violet team before sending you a smile

‘you ready to go, manager-chan?’

watari ruffled your hair before handing you your bag to start walking to the bus

‘yea. lets go home’

as you all walked, oikawa was already starting his tantrum

‘y/n-chan~! why aren’t you that happy around us? are we not enough for you?’

oikawa whined and pouted

but you just turned to smiled at him and stopped walking to pat his head

‘im not their manager, therefore im not pressured to act like anyone except as a friend and a spectator. but i try to be as professional as i can with you guys to make sure you dont appear bad to others. and you guys are perfectly chaotic enough, adding me into the mix will just about kill coach’

oikawa didnt seem satisfied though

‘but! thats not fair! they get to see you smile and i dont!’

iwaizumi growled at him to be quiet but you beat him to it

well

you smiled at tooru but your eyes shone maliciously

‘i knew you would act like this, oikawa-san. as punishment, i gave nii-chan your phone number. good luck avoiding him now’

oikawa screamed

a/n: AAWWWWW LETS NOT KILL COACH IRIHATA OKAY? HES LIKE OUR GRANPAPA AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE OIKAWA ALONE WAKAWAKA-KUN!

[gaetoeinhaler]

HENTAI || sub!leviathan x hard!femdom!reader

tags ; @luxxlillies

words ; 1.5k+

warnings ; curse words, a bit of pain involvement on levi, hard!femdom!reader, making levi beg, dick sucking

a/n : so help me if i get hated on again, for making this w/ a dom!slight sadist!fem!reader, im not going to be happy. btw, this is my last obey me related content i make. im not taking requests or matchups for obey me anymore. though i will take it for other fandoms. just look at my masterlist & the rules for what fandoms ill do. kinda cringe so beware

masterlist

_______________

boredom had settled over me. it was the weekend, meaning i was free from homework. but, if anything, it gets boring pretty easily. though, it gives me time to think.

does levi have hentai mangas? does he look at hentai? i mean, maybe i do, but, does he? its probably more on the heterosexual hentai side, since he doesnt seem like the type to look at yaoi hentai. though, i don't mind that. should i check if he does have hentai?

        hell yeah. i can disguise it as looking for a manga to read, and search through his collection.

________________

        after having the otaku demon let me in, buying my excuse of wanting to read one of his mangas. though, he had to lecture me. saying not to dirty or ruin them, etc etc. after he had lectured me, i was free to go.

        looking through the shelves of different mangas, i couldn't find any that seemed to be hentai. i looked at the covers, trying to find any source that he just so happens. finding nothing, i moved to the next manga, taking it out of its place.

        i was about to just call it a day when a small piece of paper was sticking out of the manga. looking back at levi, then at the paper, then back at him. he was busy with games, so he wouldn't notice i've touched the paper. taking it out of its place in the book, i read what message it had written on it.

it was a small list of online hentai comic strips and manga. though, the sites that were written down were not very good sites. they weren't very secured, nor did the manga they have was in high quality. well, except fakku. fakku was probably one of the best places to go to read online hentai.

        though, knowing that levi did look at hentai, answered my question. but the fact that he actually looks at it and not just has it just because.

        it made me wonder what he'd be like in bed. i mean, its confirmed that hes a switch, but mainly a bottom. what were to happen if i dominated him?

those thoughts alone were enough to get me in such mood. smirking, i stood up and walked towards levi, holding the paper in his hands. "hey, levi?" i asked, standing right beside his chair. i looked towards the screen, watching as he had played some sort of shooting game, kind of like call of duty. "did you find what manga you were looking for?" he asked, not pealing his eyes away from the screen.

        "no, not really, but i found something i have a question about." i said. he had just got a headshot, and soon the game had ended. he turned his head towards me, giving me his full attention. "what is it?"

        handing him the small piece of paper, his eyes scanned over the writing and widened. he looked up to me, ready to make an excuse. but, i wasn't going to allow him to.

        "never thought you'd be into hentai, levi. though, that should've been expected for someone such as you." i turned his chair a bit so i had more access, sitting down on his lap. his face exploded with shades of red. "though, i must say, for searching human world sites, you've picked out some weak sites."

i stared into his sunset-like eyes, seeing the emotion they held. embarrassment, excitement, nervousness, and lust. licking my lips, my hand reached down and palmed him through his pants. i could feel the bulge forming, causing excitement to arise within me. small, breathy gasps escaped his mouth, his grip around the piece of paper tightening.

"already that excited?" i whispered into his ear. i could see him gulp from the corner of my eye, having me chuckle softly.

"tell me what you want, levi." i whispered again, palming him harder. his mouth opened, but nothing came out, instead his words were replaced with breathy gasps and small moans. "(y/n)-" he was cut off with my mouth meeting his.

switching my position so i was straddling his hips, i grind against him, feeling him moan into my mouth. my lips met his in a heated kiss, moving against one another and colliding with such passion. i bit at his bottom lip, having him open his mouth and give me access. sliding my tongue in, i could feel his warm tongue against mine. my hands were settled against his chest, my eyes wide and staring into his.

i could feel my panties start to dampen. moving my mouth away from his, i moved my body to where i was kneeling on the ground, my hands placed on his thighs. i tugged his pants down, getting a better clear at his bulge. moving my hands from his pants towards his underwear, i tugged them down.

damn, levi had been packing. i knew of his abs, but damn he's bigger than what i expected.

taking his length in my hands, i started to pump him, a bit of pre cum spilling from his tip. my thumb rub against it gently, adding stimulation there. his breathy gasps turned into grunts and loud moans.

"ahh~ (y/n)~"

i smirked and leaned forward, giving his tip kitten licks. i could see his face darken as his eyes shut. his hands were gripping the handles of the spinning chair, his head thrown back as his moans flowed out. i licked from the bottom of his length and up towards the top, teasing him. i made sure to put pressure on the veins, hearing his groans becoming louder.

giving into his silent pleas, i took his length in my mouth, bobbing my head up and down as i sucked against him. i watched as his grip on the chair grew tighter and tighter, his fingers turning white from how hard he was gripping it. his hips bucked up, meeting my mouth. his length was shoved farther into my throat. letting out a low growl, my hands moved from his length and towards his hips, holding them down. i glared up at the demon, seeing his eyes open as i stopped.

lifting my head up from his saliva covered length, i glared at him. i didn't say anything, as my actions were enough to for him to understand. "change into your demon form." i ordered. with no time waisted, his set of horns and tail had appeared. the diamond like scales were visible against his neck. pleased that he had obeyed, i made quick work to stripping him free of his clothes, with his help.

        stripping myself of my own clothes, i sat in his lap once more. my heat just above his cock. slowly, i lowered myself onto him, my tightness engulfing his thick cock. he groaned, his hands finding there way to my hips. angered, i hit them, and he retracted them as soon as they were there. confused, he stared at me.

"you won't control my actions, leviathan." i growled, slamming myself down on him. his eyes widened, his mouth agape. a loud moan came from his throat.

"i'll control you. and if you're good, i'll make sure to treat you." leaning in, my hand slithered down, grabbing ahold of his tail and gripping it gently within my palm. my fingers caressed against the scales, adding intense pleasure. "but, if you're bad, i'll make sure to punish you."

with that, i let go of his tail and lifted myself off of him. "who do you belong to, leviathan?" i asked, making sure to use his whole name. his face was beet red, he uttered out a response. "y-you.." it was a whisper, barely audible. "what was that? i couldnt hear you~" i cooed, before hearing him shout. "YOU! I BELONG TO YOU!"

slamming my hips to his, his length fit fully inside me. his tip hit my g-spot, a loud moan coming from me. he groaned, as well. "that's right, you belong to me."

giving into both of our silent pleas, i started to ride the demon. my hips meeting his in a face manner, his tip hitting that special spot every time. my hands gripped ahold of his horns, in result to him moaning loudly. rubbing and gripping them harshly, my chest rubbed against his. my breasts were bouncing and pushing against his skin.

his tail made its way to toy with my clit, gently rubbing it, adding more waves of pleasure to course throughout my body. tears pricked at my eyes, wanting to spill out.

"i-i'm about to c-" i cut off levi, smashing my lips to his and slipping my tongue in. our warm muscles glided against each other, my hands harshly gripping on his horns.

slamming my hips on his, his seed shot inside of me whilst i experienced my own orgasm. panting, my grip ahold of his horns weakened, my body weakening and giving out. collapsing against his chest, i tried to catch my breathe. "that was..."

"AMAZING!" he cried out. "idiot," i chuckled. "i never said you could cum."

[httpsjjun]

🪐anon! i answered your asks here 😊

day six!

oh my god i missed yesterday’s ask foejdjjje IM SO SORRY

ahh no don't worry about it!!

i hope your week went well and that your weekend will be even better!!

last week went pretty well,, up until the end of the week hehe.

okay so a song to describe me... thats actually really hard because idk what could fully describe me well. but if i were to pick right off the bat, probably ready to run by one direction or here’s to never growing up by avril lavigne hehe. i know for a fact that theres more songs that could describe me better but thats the best i could do for now. these songs just gives that vibe where its like yes freedom and all that. i know, its very classy but i love these songs.

oo i'd have to give those a listen!! but based on the lyrics, those songs seem really nice and honestly,, really relatable!! i don't think i have any songs that describe me ahh,, i'm trying to see if i can find one but my mind is completely blank.

a song id recommend is probably rose by jereena montemayor. its such a nice relaxing song you could just vibe to. (its like very heartbreaking) but literally i always play this in the car and i just ofejdisjej starts yelling. ill also recommend falling by mansionair because why not. its a great song.

oo okay!! adding that to my listen playlist~ hm most of my favorite songs are kpop, but i think i have one non-kpop song to recommend!! it's called nobody compares to you by gryffin! maybe that could be a song that describes me hm. well kinda?? idk that song was really something that i listened to when i felt that i was catching feelings for this certain person,, again... as for kpop songs,, i'm not sure which groups you listen to.. so i'll just list some of my favorite songs at the moment! (not in order of my favorites though!)

campfire by seventeen (an all time favorite!!)

kidult by seventeen (another all time favorite)

break your rules by the boyz! (im so upset that i can't listen to this song on spotify atm!)

last song by oneus and onewe! (also upset this is gone from spotify)

priority by the boyz [sunwoo, chanhee, and hyunjae] (an ost from a show i want to watch ahh)

i belong by jacob bae (my favorite song for sad hours,, and its not on spotify, so that's a bonus.. i guess? for now it's a bonus)

star 117 by ateez (recently listened to this song and now its on repeat)

she's in the rain by the rose (another favorite song for sad hours)

shine + spring snow by pentagon [from road to kingdom] (the beginning is just so nostalgic and so jolly and then the end is like tears,, yes i cried when i watched this during rtk)

i'll be there by astro! (recently started listening to astro again, after like two years, cuz i realized i stopped when i got into more groups)

anyway i hope the rest of your day is great!! stay safe!!

i'm so sorry i answered so late!! i hope you have an amazing day <3

-🪐 anon

it's always so nice to hear from you!! thank you for stopping by~

day seven!

hi!! i hope your weekend went well! my weekend couldve been better but thats only because i have a lot of tests coming up so ahhh stress.

my weekend was a bit meh,, especially with the whole kakao m and spotify thing :(

anyway, todays topic is what one word to describe me and what one word i would describe you.

one word to describe me (i asked my irl bc idk😭) would be creative (very typical but our brains are broken). i think i mentioned that i really like to paint or just draw whenever i feel stressed. its a way for me to calm down and to just pass time. im planning on painting something disney related, maybe like tangled or the princess and the frog. i already painted an up themed one so im going for something different hehe.

if i were to describe you in one word it would be sweet. IM SO SORRY IF ITS SOMETHING DO ANTICLIMACTIC OFJEIDJOS BUT YOU REALLY ARE. you’re such a sweetheart and i get excited whenever i see you answer my ask because its so fun reading it!!

alright i hope i didnt cut this too short but i have a busy week ahead of me😭 i hope your day is going well!! stay safe!! (i apologize for any typos🥲)

tumblr's being mean, so i have to answer here down here~ but i was really excited to see what world you would say for both you and me! oo, yes! i do remember you saying you like to paint / draw! i would definitely love to see your art, if you want to show them, one day!! i just know that you're so so talented! please, sweet,, that's so sweet of you heheh. i do get called sweet a lot but every single time, my heart does a little smile (does that even make sense omg) cuz im like,, awww. but thank you so much!! my word for you is... ah you're also really sweet!! so i say that's your word,, but i would also say,, comfortable? warm? like whenever i get an ask from you or while im answering your ask, i just feel so comfortable and feel like i can talk about anything!! i think those are pretty good words, if i say so myself. (where is this confidence coming from) ah no! don't worry about it~ take your time and i hope your studies go well!! stay safe anon!! <3

i apologize for the lack of emojis, i used my computer today :)

- 🪐 anon

[chicagopd2020]

New Beginnings Are Good For Everyone Ch.3

Getting everything packed up and ready to move was alot to do is so little time. She had already talked her boss at the FBI and they hated to lose her but they just wanted her to do whatever she had to do to be happy but she had to go into the office to sign some paperwork and to get the rest of her things. It was kind of a bitter sweet kind of thing, she was happy because is finally getting to do what she has always wanted to do but then again its the job that she has had for the past 5 years and they were her family in a way but the one that she was going to miss the most is the one that got her to the place that she wanted to be and that was Erin, she was her best friend the person she had been closest to in a long time and she was going to miss that.

Walking into the office it felt weird because she wasnt in uniform and she knew that it would be her last time ever stepping foot into the FBI, she heads to her bosses office so that she could get the easy part out the way signing her name to few papers that was no problem, but saying goodbye to the people that she has worked with for the past 5 years that was going to be the hardest part of this whole day. So after shaking hands with her boss for the last time and them telling her that she will be missed, she walked to her desk with the small box to get everything she had. Out of the corner of her she sees everyone watching her with sad looks on their faces but Erin was the only one that walked up to her and let her know just how much she was going to miss her. She was happy for her but that didnt make the fact that she was going to miss her hurt any less. They had a small conversation and shared a tight hug.

Im gonna miss you says Kim

Back atcha but this isnt goodbye this is a see you later. Erin tells her

Oh for sure, i may be leaving but you cant get rid of me that easy. They shared a laugh

I would never want to get rid of you. Now you go and show them just how much of a badass you really are.

With one finally tight hug Kim knew she had to go. She had a small tear in her eye but she knew that her and Erin were going to talk alot and they would still be great friends

The moving truck would be there first thing in the morning and her flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. She would stay in a hotel the first night but that following morning she had to meet someone about an apartment. Then the first step as to making Chicago home would be done. Crawling into bed for what would be her final night in Washington that was the first night in a long time that she went to sleep in her own bed with a real smile on her face. The next week was going to be a long and busy week but it was a week that she couldnt wait for

*Jay*

That night when Kim left the whole team went to Molly's and of the guys kept asking me how i knew her and if she was the girl from the night before. I just ignored them and let them continue to ask, they honestly sounded like teenage girls wanting to find out about their best friends crush or something. The only one that I actually trusted to talk to about it was Kelly he wasnt one around to know who i was talking about and he was just being a supportive friend and its what i needed right now. Yes I was a grown man talking about a girl i liked to one of my friends.....ok maybe i was the one that sounded like a teenage girl. When I got home that night as I was laying in bed I was kinda kicking myself for not trading numbers with her but I know that Ill have it once she joins the team. I mean she did say that she wanted us to get to know each other better, so that is a good sign. I can honestly say that I was looking forward to Monday more than I have in a long time.

Waking up realizing that it was Friday hoping that maybe they would just get a small case and that he would be able to enjoy his weekend off and just spend time with his brother and friends, something that he hadnt got to do in quite some time but he wasnt getting his hopes up to much. Walking out of the apartment heading out for what he hopes is going to be a good day. He really didnt think he would have the patience to deal with any dumbasses today. He was looking down at his phone as he was about to walk out the door when he bumped into a smaller figure and about knocked them over he looked up to apoligize when his eyes locked with hers and the only thing that he could do is apoligize.

Im sorry I wasnt paying attention I was looking at a text Voight sent me.

Its fine I was lost in conversation with a friend from Washington and wasnt watching where I was going either. Kim says... Erin let me call you back after I meet with the guy about my apartment & she hangs up the phone.

I would love to stay and chat but we have a case and I have to get to the scene. Jay informs her

I completely understand, but maybe if you have any free time today here is my number feel free to text me at anytime. She smiles as the manager of the apartments come out to meet her.

*Kim*

Job..Check Apartment..Check

But she still has a couple hours til her stuff will arrive. She contacted the movers and let the know the address that they would be bringing it to. Saying the excitment was taking over body would be the correct term, she actually let out a small screech of happiness once she was alone in her apartment. Locking the door she decided to just go get the stuff that she had with her at the hotel and just grab some lunch and maybe walk around and explore the city a bit while waiting on her things.

Walking around the city she was just mesmerized with how beautiful this city was I mean she cant say Washington wasnt beautiful but the way that Chicago was just felt like maybe this is where she was meant to be this whole time. It felt like home. Finally recieving the text that her stuff was going to be arriving in 30 mins she started to head back to her apartment. Her phone went off again thinking that it was the movers but this time it was a number that she didnt recoginize, opening up her phone the text simply said "Hey this is jay, I had a second so I thought that I would text you so that you would have my number as well" she smiles and simply replys "Ok. Got it. Hope work isnt to hard on you today."

The movers got everything up to the apartment without breaking anything surprisingly because on the way up they dropped a few things and i guess it was just her lucky day. Everything was still in one piece but now that she is alone she can actually start making this place look like a home. She has music playing as she is setting everything up and then her mind starts to wonder about who her neighbor could be the only information that the manager give me about my neighbor is that he was a guy and he was barely ever home. I mean yeah I am pretty sure that once I start work that ill hardly ever be home to but I am absolutely ok with that. She had finally got her bedroom setup the way that she wants it & almost half done with the living room when her stomach growls and she looks at the time realizing that it is almost 7pm and that she hasnt eat anything since lunch, she was so caught up and getting everything she just forgot. So she just stopped what she was doing and grabbed her keys and wallet to go get something to eat. As she locks her door she turns around and definitely didnt think thats who her neighbor was going to be...

You have got to be kidding me........

[shhh-no-ones-home]

persuasion hank mccoy x reader

+++++++++

i kinda low key missed hank and the xmen, i havent watched the movies in a really long time .-.

song: mad at myself by the issues\

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

i sat in the crowded club and sipped on my drink, looking around at the people dancing and singing along to the music the dj was playing. i helped the owner from time to time and tonight was a special night. a large party had been added to the guest list and my "powers" were in special demand for the night. i stood up, noticing a few guys pushing and shoving each other to the beat. i set my glass down on one of the waitresses trays as i made my way to the group. i came to a halt as a tall man stood in front of me, blocking my way.

"you have the most beautiful eyes."

he said, inspecting me. i took a quick glance at him before looking back at the men still pushing each other around.

"likewise."

i said before pushing past him.

"move!"

i said sternly at the group of men, each of them stopping and looking at me.

"no fighting, or you can get the hell out."

i said sternly. the tallest stood straight, looking down at me with a harsh gaze.

"and how are you gonna do that?"

he asked and i raised a brow.

"you dont want to find out."

i said staring him down. he looked a little uncomfortable for a second.

"obey the rules or leave."

all of them looked around at each other before nodding collectively and going their separate ways to continue the party. when i turned back around the tall man who had blocked me earlier was smiling widely at me. i looked at him like he was crazy before going to the bar for a new drink.

"the usual please."

i asked, sitting down.

"that was amazing."

i heard a chipper voice from behind me. i turned on the stool slowly.

"can i help you with something?"

he nodded before sitting next to me, watching as Lane handed me my drink.

"youre the one weve been looking for!"

he exclaimed and i drew my brows together.

"youve been looking for me? i dont even know you, how could you have been looking for me?"

he just shook his head.

"oh sorry, heres our card."

he handed me a business card that said Xaviers school for gifted youngsters on it. i looked at him a little confused.

"and what is this?"

"its a school for mutants."

i nearly choked on my drink.

"its a what?"

he tilted his head to the side.

"what do you mean? im positive youre the one weve been looking for, surely you know your mutation. right?"

i looked around the bar for a second before taking his hand and pulling him across the room to a small room at the back of the club. when we were inside i closed the door and sat at the empty bar on the far side.

"look mister, you cant just-"

"hank."

i raised a brow and he offered his hand for me to shake.

"doctor hank mccoy. my friends call me beast."

i hesitantly shook his hand before pouring myself another drink.

"okay dr mccoy, as i was saying, you cant just come into a crowded club and start using the 'm' word. people freak out about those kinds of things, specially after what happened with the president. if my employer found out i had special powers or whatever id be kicked out, fired, canned, whatever you wanna call it. do you understand?"

his smile was slowly fading as he sat next to me again.

"i do. but now were in a room alone, surely we can talk now."

i sighed.

"alright, what is this school? and how do you know who i am? no one knows who or where i am."

he laughed a little bit.

"yeah i know, you are really good at hiding. but im here because we need you. your mutation is a very special one, you can manipulate peoples feelings, bend their wills, make them do things that you want them to do. im assuming thats why you were hired here after all, because you can make people obey the rules?"

i sent him a stern look.

"possibly. but that doesnt tell me how you found me or how you know so much about me."

he nodded.

"right, well the professor and i found you through cerebro, a mechanism of my own design that finds mutants. he has telekinesis, can communicate without opening his mouth. we run a school for gifted youngsters, mutants like ourselves who maybe dont know how to handle their powers or have homes that they can be themselves in."

"and you want me to come make sure they do what theyre told?"

he grinned widely.

"not exactly. you see we also try to save the world and we think your abilities would be outstanding when used properly against evil."

i laughed and finished another glass.

"of course it would."

"whats so funny?"

i sent him a look.

"did you not hear anything that just came out of your mouth? look beastie boy, youre super cute and id consider going home with you, but usually those kinds of nights dont end in superhero costumes and fighting crime."

he frowned a little bit.

"if you change your mind you know where to find us."

he said sliding the card across the bar to me. i looked over it as he stood up and walked to the door back to the club area.

"wait!"

i called as he reached for the door handle. he paused

"maybe a date would help ease my mind. are you free this weekend?"

her turned back around and smiled at me.

"meet me at the pasta place on second street Saturday at seven?'

he asked and i smiled to myself.

"ill be there."

he nodded once.

"its a date then."

[zephyr-94]

barista!jaemin

inspired by the one and only, puff live!

a/n: this is my first ever fic omg pls spare me with my low writing skills cause ive literally never done this fjskdjdhjdks okay i just love na jaemin periodt. (after writing: ITS VERY JUMPY AND LENGTHY I DIDNT PLAN TO MAKE IT LIKE THIS DJSKJSJSS)

so like your aunt owns a cafe which is in the middle of the city

and you live a lil outside just cause you know, school n shit

you visit her so often cause its a small cafe and it calms you down whenyou need a short break from everything

its weird thats its in the middle of the city but its still calming right?

well okay so like you know those small streets down the neighbourhoods?

the ones you dont really go unless you are rlly feeling adventurous n shit, your aunt’s cafe is in one of those streets

okay longass context down

and at school, you are in a photography club,,, or technically you just learn photography from your teacher after school but its not a whole club extravaganza

just cause your school kinda demands an extra curricular after the first year

but it feels really suffocating to be forced to do smth as a group/with people you arent as familiar with,,,,

so you “signed up” for the smallest club: [photography theory]

it was about time you start doing your hobby-ish thing at school and the tutor was cool with you being practically the only student in the club lmao so everything was going well but

youve never rlly done anything big yourself and your school friends havent pushed you to do smth either

so you were kind of looking to at least take part in one out-of-class project initiated by students maybe

and theres this big school newspaper club/writers’ club,,,, and you find out that they are like !! photographers & stories wanted !!

and you ?? at first but apparently its a project where like students get to submit their fav pic & write a mini article about “your place of comfort”

cause the topic of the month is mental health/dealing with stress and the newspaper club wants a students’ view on it, instead of just “meditation” as a topic

then you just have that cafe in your mind like,,, how you would love to shoot the street light shining into the cafe from afar and how calm that place makes you feel,,,

basically you just love your auntie’s cafe lmao

so then you go on about maybe joining it,,, but then you be indecisive cause youve never actually taken a photo professionally you just have a prolonging passion for it,,,

and your teacher is like “y/n idk why you are contemplating no ones gonna judge you just try smth new, go take the chance if you are feeling like it”

we love a supportive johnny, oh yes your english teacher is your photography “club” tutor,,, self proclaimed club

actually there have been many opportunities in the past with taking photos for projects like this one but you just stayed away cause it didnt “motivate” you to take photos for it

so johnny’s words kinda pushed your back n you felt like this was the right thing :))

so then you visit your auntie on the weekends asking maybe if you can take pics & ask her a couple questions about this place

and shes like ofc!! wanna see how you capture this place :))

so then you do this whole process and you submit the article & photos,,,,,

which ends up getting a whole page???

and you are like wh a t

newspaper club: oh you submitted many such pretty pictures & your comment felt very genuine

and you :)) but damn a whole page,,,, you is a lil anxious djskdjdh now the entire schools now going to know you

johnny the hype man teacher: see i told you it was going to turn out nice

and then kaboom, your article lowkey blows up lmao

your auntie is calling you up like “y/n!! so many customers came today!! and a lot of them are wearing the same uniform as you, they must be the students from your school!!”

and shes so happy so you are happy af

but then you remember like,,,, shes never had a part timer,,,,,

and she continues to manage the place by herself after it gets popular among the students,,,,

?? auntie,,, you never take a break ??

shes like maybe ill think about hiring someone?? and you are like, that would be good for you :)) i will be less worried about your health!!

whoop guess who got hired

and after youve had that^ conv, you had constant classes n group projects n shit so you literally had no time,,,

two weeks later, kinda highkey stressed

you decide to go make a quick visit to auntie before going to the library to study

and you peek,,, to see not your auntie,,,,

but a boy?? 

just standing behind the counter,,, no auntie to be seen but a beautiful boy???

before the opening hours,,,, he?? must be the part timer,,,

and once he notices you by the door,

he just smiles at you,,, so brightly,,,,

wow youve never seen such a pretty face,,,

you actually like forget to open the door you are just staring from outside the cafe,,,,

and he just waves,,, and you snap back to reality like oh shit did i just stare at someone for a solid minute

welp that was embarrassing djkdjdfj

he opens the door for you and goes “hey you must be y/n :))”

“the only person who comes before 9am, thats you isnt it?”

and you just ?¿ confusion??¿

“auntie told me about it :)) hi, nice to meet you, im jaemin!!”

you are still confused but you just shake hands next to the counter,,,

and as you take a seat

jaemin just makes a smol run to the other side and hes like

“you came just in time, i want you to try my latte!!”

jaemin serves a cup of latte with a leaf art

this boy just served a latte first thing after shaking hands i-

you take a sip from the cup

and you are like,,, so auntie hired an experienced boy,,,,

“its really good,,,” it has the same comforting taste you always love

and jaemin just has the biggest smile :)))) you know his smile where the ends just curl in, yes that one

him beaming like that just makes you giggly inside,,,,

you ask him “so uh um im guessing you are the part timer??”

“yes!! i didnt introduce myself properly did i! i started working here two weeks ago :))

ive been coming here for quite a while now so im happy i got the chance!!”

and you ?¿ “ive never seen you here??” you are the most frequent customer youve gotta have seen him before fjsksj

hes like “oh um i always came at 9pm on a friday, after everyone leaves and the whole neighbourhood gets quiet”

you just :o

and come to think of it, you’ve never visited here on a friday night,, cause you know, friday evening is your im not doing anything tonight kinda me time lmao

inside you are kinda happy that someone who knows this place got hired like its a special place to you so

tbh you were kinda anxious even though you trust your aunt,,,,,

and jaemin hurriedly goes “oh and also auntie is taking a break today, shes out to the market so im gonna take over until she returns in the afternoon”

djskdj auntie why didnt she tell you lmao

“im sorry if you needed anything specific from her,,, you should stay for a while until she comes back maybe?”

and you are like,,, “oh that would be great,,, but unfortunately i have to go to the library,,,,”

jaemin: ): he pout

“im so glad you came today tho!! i wanted to see you :) auntie has told so many thing about you”

“wait,, what has she told you,, omg”

apparently shes told jaemin

a) reason why this cafe recently became a popular hideout cafe for students because you wrote a school article bout it

b) that you do photography

c) and that this cafe is your break time so you never study here and auntie loves listening to you talk about school n what not

and then you are like !!

“wait so then you dont go to our school ,,,um are you also a student?”

and you panic a little cause i mean you just met him but you literally know nothing and you mightve assumed things fjsksj

and jaemin tells you “ah yes i go to a hospitality school downtown” “ohh”

and from there he just starts talking about his school and what he studies

he asks you about school but jaemin is extra excited about his hospitality course hes all !! :))!!

and you are so hooked on jaemin talking about his school you forget an hour passes by,,,,

[time to open the cafe]

then the customers start coming in

and you are like “oh sorry ive just bothered you during the preparation time,,,,, it was nice meeting you!! gotta go now :))”

and you rush out cause all you planned to do was give your auntie a little visit

also you dont want to bother jaemin cause its hes gonna handle the place alone for a couple hours

you wave a smol see you soon and

jaemin just does a little chuckle,, and hes like waving so widely fjsksj does he know other people can see him

and thats how your first day with jaemin went

later that day you return home thinking like,,, did you just get so excited to converse with someone who you juSt met,,,

na jaemin’s power

and jaemin on the other hand, is thinking about how beautiful you looked today

just that short while but it made him so happy

hes thinking about you all week uwu

so next week you visit again, expecting to see your auntie

and maybe also that gleaming boy

peeking through before the opening hours

the moment jaemin realises you hes like “y/n!!” what a shining boy

and aunties like “oh y/n right you met him last week when i was out right”

that morning you just talk to auntie about what shes been missing on after you went on a busy week

mind that jaemin is literally just listening to you & auntie talk

and he enjoys it cause you talk so comfortably in front of her :))

you decide to stay the whole day to give yourself a break

which meant you moved to your usual spot by the window

and auntie serving you (free) vanilla latte

you take out your camera and just start adjusting the lenses, trying to find the right frame

customers come and go so you dont get to talk to jaemin a lot that day

but its not like you came here for him,,,, right?¿??¿??

while you were thinking all that

jaemin was asking about you all day like

“so y/n’s favourite is vanilla?”

“does y/n prefer a latte over cappuccino?”

“i want to serve y/n something,,,, what would be the best??”

auntie: how many times did he mention y/n today omg

and as auntie answers

jaemin is thinking like

i wanna see y/n smile

and the entire day your auntie is like !!he :)))))

lmao same auntie same

so when the peak hours finish she goes

“i can take care of everything now, go talk to y/n”

and jaemin just smiles brighter than ever

so when he comes around, you startle

but it puts a smile on your face

because hes brought your favourite cake and just a smiling jaemin in front of you uwu

you both get to know more about each other like

how theres this two boys named chenle & jisung in the preparatory course whom he adores to death

or like

theres this jeno boy whose jokes suck jeno i love you

with a bonus of

you talking about how johnny’s english class is nothing but a comedian’s lesson

so that day went great

and now that you are comfortable

you visit the cafe to talk with jaemin more

even when you have a chill no stress week

it just makes you feel lighter by coming to the cafe now

and your auntie is hella happy that you two are getting along so well

it continues for weeks

just you and jaemin talking from time to time when the peak hours are over or before the cafe opens

you became best pals basically

he encouraged you to join more school projects cause hes sure your photography is worth the chance

you giving him daily support when he feels like he isnt doing the best for his course

sometimes when your aunt had to leave for a couple hours near closing time

you two just stayed there talking for a couple hours giving comfort to each other

late night lattes and cakes

also one time you got so excited from the bestest grades you got you might have hugged him without thinking oops

and one day, jaemin’s friend renjun is there when you come after school

and hes like “hi uh dont mind me im just here a bit because jaemin has to go somewhere after this and i dont want him to be late”

so you just,,, chill as jaemin kinda rushes

and when he goes to the storage room, you just see renjun getting along with the auntie lmao

auntie: “so i got offered this contract with the new type of beans? and idk if i should take it because that would mean i have to go out of the city,,,,”

renjun: “for how long?”

auntie: “two weeks maybe”

renjun: “oh thats fine, dont worry about it. jaemin can take over that. next two weeks right? his mandatory work experience ends this week”

so thats how renjun signed jaemin up to work alone for auntie without his consent

and aunties like “y/n!! it would be so much for just jaemin, you should help him :) your break starts next week right?”

so you also got signed up to this thing

fast forward to first day of break

aka the first time you “work” there

you are nervous and jaemin can feel it

“dont worry y/n, ill do all the talking and coffee, you just have to serve & clean!!”

so you try to calm down a bit

not to mention that you are also nervous cause its only jaemin and you in the room

but then he sees you fumbling with tying the apron and

jaemin says “here, give it, ill do it for you” while smiling a little

and from the back he wraps the apron around your waist,,,

and hes so close to you,,, your heart is fluttering

okay heart stop beating so fast pls thank you

and little do you know,,, jaemin is flushing a bit behind your back,,,

you are both the cutest mess

and you break the silence with a smol

“thanks :))”

trying to contain yourself from screaming

adapting to the serving side & keeping youself busy

you dont realise jaemin is literally admiring you the entire time as you get used to the job,,,,

here and then you forget how close you might be standing next to jaemin,,,

you kinda also realise how rEALLY attractive he looks serving everyone with a huge smile 24/7

and the way some customers are obviously attracted to him,,,,

but what you dont know is he is literally taking this chance to highkey flirt with you lmao

waves (sometimes winks) across the room

causally hovers over you when you cant find/reach smth

beaming the biggest smile every minute he gets to himself

and at first you panicked like ?!????

cause was this jaemin boy holding back for a whole month

is this his nature yes

but it makes you so happy to see him smiling all the time beside you

so jaemin yes its working

you gotta admit tho his flirty-ish behaviour grew on you this entire week djskjssj

a week of giggly smiles uwu

but the week after was unexpectedly the busiest of the busiest

you two forgot national holidays collided with the weekends and for some, it was a week off,,,,,,

so the week rushes by so quickly compared to the last one

it kind saved you tho cause your heart cant take more of that flirty behaviour

and finally,

the peak days are over,,,

and you realise its been a while since the cafe was just you,,,, and well jaemin but just no customers

the silence with faint sounds of cups cluttering,,,, you missed it

so then you go sit on the high chair

just admiring jaemin organise the shelves

he starts to prepare a new cup of coffee then realises you smiling at him “were you in awe at how effortless i look right now??”

you chuckle at his remark,,,

(needless to say that your are chuckling to hide how your heart is melting at his smirky smile)

so you twirl a bit shyly,, and avert the gaze to the familiar wood of the counter

asking him “do you remember the day we first saw each other, me sitting here and you serving the latte?”

“ofc, its the day i met an angel”

oh so confidently na jaemin really just said that

you quickly look up at him like !!!?!???!

and thats how he earned a first kiss (or rather a peck) from you

leaning over the counter and pecking you, a whole blushy mess

then comes a clink by the door

you juMp,,,,,,,

oof the customer may or may not have seen you two

you both rush around flushed like a tomato lmao

spending the rest of the day like nothing happened oops

and after the day ends, you two close the cafe

as you starting walking you are caught off guard when

jaemin just takes your hand,,,

“look y/n!! the stars are so pretty!!”

and starts swinging your arm like a tall child,,,

your heart is skippingnsjsjsjs

then at the corner, jaemin turns around and goes

“this is actually the place i first saw you”

and you ??¿?¿¿

“i saw you taking the photo of this night light shining into the cafe”

still hand in hand, jaemin steps a little closer

and takes his free hand to cup your face, kissing you,,,,

you smile into him as he kisses so softly, thinking

maybe the day i took that photo was a friday night

and melting into the kiss, you really think you are dreaming,,,,,

under the lights you once wished capturing a sparkling moment with the cafe in the back

its now you and jaemin in the frame,,,,

the boy who had you forgetting to breathe a month ago

whos now serving your favourite latte with a bonus of pecks on the cheek,,,,, (maybe on the lips if theres no one watching)

anyways

jaemin brings light to your life and you have never been this happy until you met him uwu

and it goes both ways, jaemin cant live without you now,,,, you are the best thing thats ever happened to him

(thank the heavens & your auntie)

oh and also johnny for pushing you to submit that article lmao plus huang renjun for that involuntary sign up

[anglerfishnabe]

plotting call!

im in need of revitalizing stuff for ogata. 

ill do the starter regardless but do pick something from here, you can decide whether its pre-established or not, please detail further like what can i expect from your character though. mind you i might be rEALLY slow to reply to IMs especially with my timezone (i might leave contacting for weekends) but ofc we won’t drag this thing forever either. tbh twitter dms are better for this and actually even twittertimeline is better than tumblr IMs but i might default to it 

sO PLEASE CONTACT ME VIA TWITTER IF YOU WANT TO TALK THERE INSTEAD.

More under cut. LIKE if you want to plot! PLEASE. pick something from here or have some thoughts on your own though. I will make suggections on my own if you don’t but i get so easily overwhelmed it really helps ! im not telling you to to do everything on your own ofc

friendly terms: we do not talk about friends - your muse could be a friend to ogata but he will not call you that. there isn’t all that much trust in this guy. He’s lousy emotional support too so please do bear that in mind, it’s Really hard to get into this level with him

this could also just entail talking to him occasionally/being a good acquaintance (your character doesn’t have to be good for this though lol) 

not-friendly-terms: he hates you or you hate him. self-explanatory really. He might not hate you back though. maybe it’s a mix of friendly terms and this. Maybe he finds you bothersome (more common than him straight up hating someone). 

catsitter: you look after his cats. thats it. he’ll pay you for it. he’s got two - bullet and bastard. you’re trustworthy but you don’t meet him as often as his cats. 

pure/good type of characters: you are a pacifist to almost extreme and Ogata finds that kind of fake. This might not necessarily be a bad relationship as long as you two don’t get into fatal situation. Let’s not get heavy deep right from the start but do this gradually. Even better if you insists there’s something good in him. Your muse might be in danger but not necessarily. Your muse can come to decide to kill ogata (he will consider this his win) or he ends up killing you and he’ll be derisive about it. Again this’ll involve Ogata’s more cold blooded sight but it might not be right there from the start, just hints dripped down here and there.

Would prefer an adult over children for the murder part though for reasons.

This could also well develop into good relation instead without murder or not but there’s no guarantees but moreover this isn’t really meant to be a pitycall for ogata though.

sexfriend/onenightstand/whatever: not high on libido,  mind you lol. so not common sometimes just a quick one. or frequent one. i miiiight prefer just aftermath with these although not against writing it, don’t be afraid to ask but i also might decline if im unsure or just not comfortable. it’s nothing personal.

romantic relationship: yeah uh good luck here, frankly this requires really workable chemistry so i’d rather just take time to explore them on friendly terms first without any guarantees of anything whatsoever. You could also well be a sexfriend and frankly it’s the easier way to get to know him bc frankly ogata isn’t looking for relationships. again. this takes time. Lots of it and your muse kinda needs to know how to deal with ogata too in a balanced way. Electricity lol.... but all in all though he might have to dealsome issues out of the way first.

gunfriend: you like guns! ogata likes guns! yeehaw? ogata’s career revolves around them and it’s one of the few topics he might get into pretty heavily (please don’t expect expertise of me). 

war/murder/whatever former experience: warworn? You could say Ogata is too. It’s complicated though Ogata doesn’t see any choice where he’d have something else than fighting to do. He won’t tell this right off the bat though so you might just be talking about experiences and such. 

home: ogata has no home. the two cats he has aren’t enough to make him a home either. the cats might care about more of ogata than ogata cares of them (he doesn’t neglect them though)

 this is another thing i can’t easily write but could be tied to that good/pure friend or even romantic relation - whatever. this is sort of a thing that should also just come naturally though so don’t get pushy about it. Again this involves helping him to deal with his issues which btw could fail completely. Let’s not decide the result beforehand.

work: : business associates - for now i won’t take jobs that’s killing someone but intelligence involving task that might still end up to murder from any side. Might just make it a mean of survival.

other/mix of these: something else in your mind? Tell me.

[thatwasntlikeridingabikeuasshole]

im panicking send help ahhh

so last spring i was out with my best friends and my brother and we were playing truth or dare and my friends truthed me into telling my brother about my crush, who they already knew abt. i make a habit of not telling anyone in my family ever if i have a crush. like my brother doesnt get it because he had a lot of crushes when he was really little and told everyone in our family so if he told them he had a crush then it wouldnt be the first time i mean the first serious time maybe but not the first. it would be the first for me if my family found out. so anyway when we were at the cafe that day he kept threatening to call our mom because he thought she should know and was convinced that this was a bad secret like he acted like i was doing drugs or something that she would actually have any business knowing. my friends and i tried to convince him not to but he called her. he said he wanted to tell her a secret about me that i just told him and she said she would ground him if he told her bc she trusts me and she trusts that i wont have any secrets that are bad things like drugs or smthn. but anyway so he didnt say anything cuz he didnt wanna lose his phone and his laptop and stuff but he kept trying to convince her and stuff to let him tell her. and she finally made him give his phone to me and i told her that it wasnt anything bad and it was a small thing and nothing she needed to know and she believed me and convinced him with my and my friends help not to tell her. so she came a bit later to pick him up cuz we were all kinda mad at him and it was time for him to go home. so we stayed for a little longer and i was kinda panicking and shaky and stuff idk bc like ik it doesnt matter that much but i dont have like any other secrets so it kind of seems like more of a big deal than if it was just like the lesser of all my deep dark secrets. 

anyway so fast forward to this one weekend towards the end of summer, we were staying at my step grandmothers house and she has these two grandnephews who r our ages (im 14 and my brothers 11) and she also has a pool. so we were hanging out in the pool with her grandnephews and my brother was kicking me and kind of being an asshole and stuff, maybe to try to impress them, idk. but they were totally on my side and they were like trying to get him to stop but then they were like wait u must have some dirt on him from when he was little or smthn right? that he wouldnt want us to know abt? and so i remembered his crushes as a little kid and they were all from shows on like teen nick or disney channel so they would know who they were prob, so i was all like “REMEMBER HOW U LIKED MAYA FROM GIRL MEETS WORLD YEAH” and they were laughing. but he didnt stop kicking me to shut me up instead he was just like “YEAH BUT REMEMBER HOW U LIKED (guys name) HAHAHAHA” and it was cool with the other two bc they just looked at me and were all like LIAM OMG I KNOW HIM YEAH TOTALLY IM TOTALLY GONNA TELL HIM U LIKE HIM LOL I CAN DEF JUDGE U FOR LIKING HIM CUZ I KNOW HIM HAHAHAHA (they live in a different state than us, never met liam in their lives). so that was fine but my step grandmother was sitting by the pool talking to their parents and she couldve easily heard him and i panicked cuz i thought they she was gonna tell my mom. but no. i dont think she did. 

so the rule is simple right dont bring up his old crushes anymore except no. we were just sitting in my room upstairs and my dad was cooking downstairs but the kitchen is right at the bottom of the stairs so its really easy to hear between the rooms, like i could hear him moving around and stuff. and my brother all the sudden starts talking abt how i like the guy and being really loud as he often is and i just know my dad mightve heard it and i legit dont wanna go downstairs rn and whenever he says he wants to talk to me abt smthn which is always just an innocent like “hear abt this new piece of art i got” or sum shit ill be super nervous that hes gonna make fun of me for liking the guy so plz send good vibes thx

[itsallavengers]

do you have any fluffy peter & tony headcanons or anything tbh because im having a horrible day and im so anxious i feel like im gonna explode

(Okay I told myself I was gonna take a break from writing today but u know what. U deserve Good Tony and Peter Writing so,,,,I’m gonna do my best with that. Hope u feel better soon my friend, and I hope this helps in some way x)

His hands were shaking against the prompt cards he held in an iron-clad grip.

It was stupid, really. Ridiculous. He’d battled monsters and stopped bombs and yet here he was, getting worked up over a damn science presentation.

And there wasn’t even any reason why. He was good at science. Brilliant, if he did say so himself. And the whole school was full of science nerds like him, so it wasn’t as if he was going to get laughed off stage, either.

So why the damn hell did he feel so…awful?

Pull yourself together, Spiderman, he told himself, shaking his head a little and peaking out from behind the wings to watch the speech that was currently being given by another of his classmates. It was a mandatory thing in order for everyone to get a grade. Each of them had to present an idea or a theory to the rest of their year and put points that were for and against it. At the end, other kids asked questions, drilled you, probably started giggling and whispering if you couldn’t answer one of their godawful comments-

Ugh. He felt vaguely sick.

He’d been on edge the whole day just thinking about it. There were, what, a hundred faces, maybe more, in the audience? Including Flash, who was sat at the back, just waiting for Peter to slip up so he could laugh loudly or boo or something.

He could barely even think straight. His mind was all fuzzy and his palms were too sweaty. It felt like his lungs weren’t working properly anymore.

This sucked.

“Hey kid,”

Peter jerked wildly as someone stepped up to his shoulder. God, he’d been so out of it he hadn’t even heard them, what the hell was wrong with him-

“I- uh, hi Mr-” he turned, looking over and expecting to see a teacher. 

“Tony?” he said incredulously, as his brain registered the tinted yellow glasses and carefully sculpted van dyke.

“The one and only,” Tony replied absently, as he peered out through the wings and looked at the boy onstage, “you next?” He asked.

“I…what-you-how?” Peter spluttered, “what are you doing here?”

Tony looked at him, before shrugging. If Peter wasn’t mistaken, he almost looked sheepish. “You mentioned this thing, uh, a few days ago in the labs? I didn’t have anything on, so I though I’d come, show a bit of moral support, you know the drill,” he muttered. “How you feeling? You ready? Nervous?”

Peter opened his mouth, but the assurance failed to come out. He was a notoriously bad liar, after all. Plus, his vocal cords didn’t really seem to be working very well right now. Which, considering what he was about to go up and do, was Very Very Bad.

Tony looked him up and down, noting the quivering hands, slightly green face and general expression of terror before sighing and pulling the sunglasses off his nose in order to place them on the bridge of Peter’s. “Okay, Peter, today you are not Peter. Today, you are me, and I am about to give a heart-raising, mind-blowing, showstopping speech on…” he peered down, reading the top of Peter’s card, “effective and innovative designs to contribute toward a greener society,” 

Peter just nodded, looking up at Tony through the yellow lenses.

“First thing,” Tony began, raising a hand and wandering backward, before gesturing around the place, “you gotta own the room, kid. Movement is important. Hands, feet, eyes- don’t just stand there like a lemon and read off the prompts. You wanna get a good grade? You engage the audience,” he stepped forward, pointing at Peter’s eye, and then his own, “eye contact. Always do the eye contact. Kinda terrifying, admittedly, but you only need to do it for a second. You’re not gonna stare em down like they’re trying to rob a bank here, okay, you’re just catching their eye. Showing them you’re focused, like you’re talking to them specifically. Keep moving around, look at everyone.”

He stopped. Grabbed Peter’s shoulder. “So, Mr Stark, how do you begin your speech?”

Peter stopped, caught off guard like a rabbit in the headlights. “Uhhhhh-”

“Okay, well for starters, I definitely don’t do that,” Tony shook his head, pushing the glasses a little further up Peter’s nose as they began to slip down. “You wanna begin with something simple. Casual. This isn’t a funeral service. You’re just putting an idea across. ‘hello everybody’ will suffice. I’d say open with a joke, but I don’t think you’re ready for that yet.”

Peter had to agree on that one. He took another look over to the side, and noticed the boy was beginning to wrap up. 

Oh, hell. He was next.

Tony noticed, too, and he let his other hand rest on Peter’s shoulder as well, so that he was gripping Peter between both hands. “Listen, kid. Stick to the basics. Eye contact. Movement. Keep it light, and don’t focus too hard on individuals. It’ll only freak you out. You’re gonna do great, kid. Honestly, you’re definitely the smartest one out there, you got nothing to worry about.”

“People are gonna laugh,” Peter muttered, looking down at his feet. God, Flash- Flash was gonna be a total ass, he could predict it perfectly. Peter would pause, just for a moment, and Flash would do something stupid like laugh or make a stupid noise and then it would throw Peter off-

“No-one’s gonna laugh, Kid,” Tony said, before his eyes narrowed. “Unless there’s someone who’s planning on ruining it for you. Is there?”

“I dunno, Flash said some stuff earlier, but… I dunno,” Peter mumbled, biting his lip. He wished he’d been ill today. Or HYDRA had decided to attack a Macy’s or something. At least that would have been a genuine excuse.

“Flash, huh?” Tony mused quietly, peering out into the audience, “greasy looking pussy at the back, right?”

Peter laughed nervously, nodding. “Uh, yeah, that’s the one.”

Tony pulled a face, and then nodded to himself. “Okay. Okay, cool. Well listen, I’ll make sure Flash isn’t a problem, alright? Don’t worry about him.”

A sudden wave of applause filled the auditorium, and signalled Peter’s turn up. 

“Big breath. Come on, you’ll kick ass. You’re Spiderman. Or you can be me, just for a few minutes, if that’ll make it easier,” Tony assured him, patting his cheek  and smiling.

“-And now, it is my great pleasure to present to you, Peter Parker!” The Principal announced, and another round of applause burst out.

Okay. Showtime.

“Wait, kid, sunglasses!” Tony caught him before he could move, sliding them back off his face with a grin, “they’re a tad too big for you. Don’t want them sliding off whilst you’re deep in the middle of solving the world’s energy crisis.”

Peter huffed out a nervous laugh, and then did as Tony said, taking a long, deep breath before turning away and walking slowly toward the main stage.

He could do this. Tony did it all the time. He could be Tony, just for five and a half minutes, right? Tony had said he could.

His hands were still shaking a little as he stepped in front of everyone, but he felt a little braver. A little prouder. Maybe even confident.

At the back of the hall, he watched Tony slip in through the doors, more inconspicuous than Peter had ever seen him as he wandered toward the back row and grabbed a chair, leaning over the back of it and whispering something into-

Peter sighed, unable to hold back the little grin of satisfaction as Flash’s head turned to look up at him, eyes widening in a hilarious fashion as he realised, yet again, he was being told off by Tony Stark.

It was even more amusing to watch the colour drain from his face as Tony continued to whisper in his ear. He watched as Flash nodded a little jerkily, and then Tony smiled, before stepping back and leaning against the back wall, right in the middle where Peter could see him.

He grinned up when Peter made eye contact, and Peter smiled back.

He could do this.

“You did it!” 

Peter turned, smile on his face as he watched Tony jog up toward him, hands raised in a thumbs-up as he grinned over. Luckily, the presentation had been at the last period, and so Peter was free to get the fuck out and finally relax for the first time that day.

“Yeah- I think it went...well,” Peter admitted happily.

 Tony pulled a face, letting his arm fall across Peter’s shoulders and squeeze. “Uhm, you did more than ‘well’, kid- you totally blew everyone else out of the water.”

“You didn’t even see everyone else, Tony.”

He felt the shrugging gesture Tony made beside him. “I’m gonna go ahead and assume here, kid. You were great. Very Tony Stark-ish. Except with less narcissism and more genuine-ness, y’know? Never would’ve guessed you were nervous.”

Peter grimaced. “I thought I was gonna throw up the entire time.”

“Well then, you are a remarkable actor, Mr Parker,” Tony told him, “hey, how about doing my speech for me this weekend at the charity gala I am being forcibly blackmailed into attending? I have a busy schedule of sleeping and eating and I don’t want it disturbed.”

Peter laughed, giving Tony a shove, “thanks, but if it’s all the same with you, I’m never going to give a speech ever again. That was crazy. Everyone stares at you. What the hell?”

“Yeah, when you’re the only person talking in a huge auditorium, people tend to do that,” Tony huffed, shaking his head, “so damn rude of them.”

“It really is,” Peter agreed, hiking his bag up a little further on to his shoulder before turning to tony, a grin beginning to form on his face. “Hey- what did you tell Flash, by the way?”

Tony tapped his nose secretively. “None of your business.”

“Aw, come on, I see him most, it’s more my business than yours.”

“Hey, maybe I just like him. Maybe I was having a catch up, Peter, huh? You’re not special, I might be secretly mentoring him, too.”

Peter rolled his eyes, shoving Tony playfully and then grabbing his arm before he went careering to the floor. “Whoops- superstrength.”

“That was a threat, wasn’t it? I feel threatened. Again. Physical threats, this time, too- it’s getting worse-”

“Tony,” Peter whined frustratedly, “please tell me.”

Tony stopped, hand half-way to reaching his car door before turning to look back at Peter. “I told him if he made a single sound, I’d hack the school system and turn all his A* into C’s,” he admitted, before adding “is that bad? I don’t know- I tend to threaten both adults and kids alike, what can I say, I’m all about equality,” 

Peter watched, smile on his face as Tony jumped into his car and pulled his shades back on. “You did good, kid. I’ll see you ‘round,” he said, shooting Peter another thumbs up before revving the engine and pulling out of the car park.

Peter watched, shaking his head fondly. He felt kinda exhausted- the day had been stressful as fuck, and it had taken it out of him. But hey- at least it was over. And at least it hadn’t turned into a full-blown panic attack, either. That would’ve just been embarrassing.

“Thanks, Tony,” Peter muttered, waving cheerily over at a still rather horrified looking Flash from across the road before beginning to make his way down the drive.

“Wait. You got a lift?”

Peter turned, watching as Tony reversed back to him and raised an eyebrow at him curiously from the open window.

“Sorry, I don’t get in cars with strangers,” Peter deadpanned, beginning to walk forward again, hiding a fond grin as Tony just rolled forward and followed him.

“Uhh,” Tony made a face, turning around and shuffling in his car for a second before pulling out something. It was a bag of kisses, a few of them already eaten, with the wrappers thrown back in the bag. “I got candy?”

Peter broke his deadpan stare a second later, in order to laugh. Tony was a fucking idiot, honestly. “Right, okay, I’ve been convinced,” he declared, before sliding over the bonnet and opening the door on the other side.

As soon as he’d fallen in, Tony flicked him on the ear. “Ow!” He yelped, looking betrayed.

“Don’t slide your dirty school jeans over my car, you heathen,” Tony scolded, before turning back to the road and stepping on accelerate. “And don’t touch my radio. We’re listening to my music, not yours.”

Peter groaned, “ugh, but your music taste is-”

“Unless you want to get forcibly removed from this vehicle, I suggest you quit running your mouth, boy,” 

Peter looked over to him. There was silence for a stretch, before Peter muttered, “Metallica sucks.”

“RIGHT,” Tony pulled his sunglasses off, chucking them at Peter’s chest and then moving his hand to the dash where all his modified features sat, “that’s it, you’re getting ejected, buh-bye demon child-”

“TONY NO I’M SORRY I DIDN’T M-”

[kxlebcross]

multiples of three, please.

oh man i cant believe ur making me do maths at 4:18 am... but here goes nothing! (it’s gonna be long so i put it under a read more)

3. Ever done any drugs? uhhhh... yeah, for a short period yrs ago i had a friend group and with them we smoked weed pretty much every weekend... they did some hard drugs too but i never dared trying those cuz im a lil bitch lmao aaaaand i don’t do that anymore, it’s an expensive hobby to have and i usually waste my drugs money on pc games and ordering food srgsdfg

6. Describe your dream home. probs somewhere in a big city, close to the center because i love being a big city kid.... a mid-sized flat with lots of plants and those neat cat playgrounds mounted on the wall because i plan on having at least 4 cats in the future asdsd and i’d love to have a bigger balcony which i could transform into a little jungle and hand a hammock there and just chill and listen to the city’s noises at night when i can’t sleep

9. Do you watch porn? you may not believe but i actually don’t sdgsdfg the horny teen phase is over for me, if i wanna interact with anything pornographic i just read fanfiction dfgsdfgsf

12. What’s one of your fantasies? i hope it’s not supposed to be an erotic one lmao but i really wanna go on a road trip through europe, just pack up my shit and drive around, also i wanna visit haunted places all around england and get into the gaming business as a game translator/tester eventually

15. Are you in a relationship? thank god not anymore... and honestly i don’t miss it anymore, all of my previous ones were disasters and ended in a really ugly manner so.. no, i’m all good with my cat

18. What tattoos do you want? i don’t have specific plans for motives - though i’d really like a kitsune mask somewhere and a moon and one song quote. i’d like to have my whole left sleeve done, maybe part of my back, a half sleeve on my right hand and something smaller on my ankle - and i’m actually open to anything the tattooists would pick out; i care more about who’s gonna create my tattoo than what’s it gonna be, as my actually existing 2 tattoos r also premade, randomly picked out ones (though they accidentally matched up in some way and look pretty neat imo)

21. Describe your best friend. that’s a hard one.... i don’t think i have one anymore. i used to have this girl in my life, M, who i was really close to, but we had a fallout in october and she never came around to fix this even though i was open to the idea... so i lost my best friend, which is kinda sad considering that she was the only person i could open up to in the last 3 yrs. but hey that happens! i moved on and have a close friend still so im all good.

24. What are three places you want to travel? i really wanna visit scotland! it has this specific atmosphere i really long to experience, and i wanna see the landmarks and grassy fields and loch ness and haunted places and just roam around there for a while. i also wanna see moscow - it’s been sort of an obsession of mine since reading glukhovsky’s metro series, and also it’s a beautiful city worth visiting. i’d also like to get on the trans-siberian express but that’s not a specific place dsfsgdf the last place would be the aokigahara forest in japan - also one of the places i feel drawn to for ages now. found out about it years ago and since it’s been sort of a plan of mine to visit one time. if i manage to graduate university my mum promised to send me on a trip to japan - so if it works out, ill be on my way there baby! (i just need to work on my language skills first sasdfgf)

27. What’s your pet peeve? loud breathing, loud chewing... generally people being loud and annoying. ppl not covering their mouths while coughing. ppl who walk super slowly and take up all of the walkway like FUCK OFF OF MY WAY GODDAMMIT. in games when the npc walks a lot slower than ur running, but walking a lot faster than ur walking so its impossible to keep up with them. ppl not using headphones in public spaces. old ppl demanding respect when they treat u like shit. ppl forcing their religion on u (im looking at u auntie). ppl slurping their drinks. couples almost f*cking each other in public places... just get a room smh

30. Tag someone you want to talk to but have been too shy to message. oh i don’t need to tag them cuz i already got over that shyness and they totes know already that i wanted to talk to them for a while! (i admitted to it in the tackiest, cheesiest, most awkward anon ask i ever sent in to anyone sdfgsdf)

33. If money was no object, what would your wardrobe be like? pretty much the same as now, all black and flannels and jeans, cuz i rly thing that major clothes shopping sprees r a waste of money sdfdf but i’d probably own a lot lot more shoes like custom made cat patterned vans and some more nikes and some creepers cuz i wanted to get some of those for like yrs now dfgdfg

36. Do you still have feelings for any of your exes? uhhhh... kind of? not romantic ones tho, i just miss the long talks and the trust and understanding between us. i never got the closure i needed to move on and it still left some bad feelings towards her so its a weird mix of resentment and sympathy, and i try to not think abt it too much.

39. Are you a virgin? hahahahahahahahah, no, really. 

42. Describe the hottest person you know. the hottest person i personally know is one of the ppl i used to be on my universitys e-sport team on with dfasd i always had a weak spot for ppl taller than me and hes literally model material with nice cheekbones and the perfect jawline and the best sense of humor ever. though he’s a widowmaker main in overwatch and thats a big big minus for him :(

45. What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? lmaooooo thats a funny one listen up... so i was fresh out of breakup and wanted to make some friends.... wait for it.... ON TINDER. i live in an university town so i was like kewl imma make some ppl my age (until then all of my friends were A LOT older than me) and have some friends and if romance happens then it happens, w/e. so i set up this bar night with this one guy, i believe his name was David? so David and i meet up for drinks, i grab a gintonic and we sit down to talk... what he never knew abt me is that i am on the adhd spectrum and i have to get my hands busy with smth so i can focus on what im saying otherwise my thoughs r all over the place. so im casually keeping my hands busy with just spinning my locked phone there and back, or just  messing around with the lime slice on my glass and at a random moment David goes like “u know.... i hate when ppl cant stop messing around with their phone” and im like ????? dude im literally just spinning it, not even messaging anyone or unlocking it or shit. and he goes on this rant that he always expects ppl to pay full attention to him when talking, looking at him (i never look ppl in the eyes cuz i tend to just go into panic mode from long eye contact and also i think its creepy to just stare at someone constantly) and just not doing anything else except paying attention to him so i go on explaining to him that i need to keep myself busy and im not doing it to annoy him - but he keeps on insisting so i excuse myself to a cigarette (he also hated smokers lmao) and call the widowmaker main friend from the previous question and am like “hey man i have the worst date of my life can u be at this place in 40 minutes and then we hit the night life” and hes like fine so i go back to David and tell him “sorry mate i just remembered i have my last bus home in 30 minutes and the next one is in 1,5 hrs and i really cant stay out that late so can we wrap this up and schedule an other meeting some other time” and hes like fine... got me to the bus stop, i sat on the bus.... got off at the next bus stop, met up with widowmaker main guy and went out for drinks and decided to never go on tinder dates again sdfgsdfg

48. Describe your ideal partner. thats a hard one, hey! but i dont think i have an ideal, guess ill work with anyone whos a decent human being who wont require me to be the housemaid and cook and clean and do everything for them. oh and they totally need to know how to use a washing machine... one of my exes was incapable of this (and here i was thinking that in 2018 ppl saw a washing machine already... looks like i was wrong and im still not over that incident 2 yrs ago). oh and they gotta be fine with the idea of never having kids cuz theres no way im putting myself through raising one of those, im a man of career and money, totally not responsible enough to raise another living human being sdsdgdf

[atlanxic]

ok so i actually have an extensive arc-v/zexal crossover university au that i’ve talked a lot about on my private twitter and on discord but i think it’s time to put it all on tumblr. i wanted to make this all one post but i actually feel like it’s too much for that? so here’s part one of..... five or so?

yuuto, shun, and ruri lived in the same apartment complex as children, theyve known each other literally forever.

in middle school, yuuto & shun both discover hardcore/punk music and spend a couple years being kind of awkward and terrible about it until high school hits and they kind of level out. ruri teases them a lot for liking that awful racket but eventually she gets into it too, mostly because her and shun are kind of inseparable for quite some time. the three of them go to the local shitty music venue just about every weekend. for the first year or so ruri insists shes going to keep them out of trouble but like i said, she gets more into the music after a while.

shun and yuuto both mosh, shun probably more frequently than yuuto. they show up to school with bruises pretty often and rumours are started that they get in fights a lot or that theyre involved in a gang. there are also rumours that theyre dating, which dont go over very well, and result in them getting in actual fist fights a couple times. they try dating for like... 3 months in grade 7, and then decide that its weird and they work better as friends.

yuuto wears his hair in a mohawk for about a year before switching to the spiky mess we know and love. towards the end of middle school, they meet kaito at a prog-rock concert, all four of them pressed against the front rails together kaito and yuuto hit it off immediately, and exchange phone numbers after the show. shun is immensely suspicious. they text a lot, and then they start hanging out, and then they start going out. shun threatens to beat kaito up, kaito is fine with it, yuuto is not. etc.

meanwhile, ruri and sayaka meet in class. it doesn't even occur to shun to be suspicious of her until he catches them making out. he yells about it, sayaka is understandably frightened. ruri tells him off for scaring her girlfriend. she stays angry at him for longer than she has before. he eventually gives in and apologizes to both of them, but in a kind of dickish way.

yuuto and kaito break up towards the beginning of 11th grade. neither of them are upset about it, they stay friends. it was mostly because kaito felt like he needed to focus more on school, now that he's getting into college prep-level courses. yuuto cries about it once, and it takes several hours to convince shun that violence would be neither appropriate nor helpful.

all four of them move to a different city for college. sayaka goes to school in the town they grew up in. her and ruri stay in touch, but after half a year they decide that the long distance thing isn't working out for them. they still hang out when ruri and shun go back for the holidays, and its fairly bittersweet.

yuuto shun & ruri dont realize that kaito is going to the same school as them until all four of them are present at a queer alliance meet & greet. shun glares at him across the room for a while before yuuto notices he's there and goes over to say hello like a decent person. yuuto and kaito immediately hit it off again. theyre both kind of "fuck you grew into yourself really well im Gay."

immm gonna say that in first year, yuuto & shun live in the dorms together. they eventually decide the res life is not for them but. apartment hunting when youre like 18 and moving out for the first time is a bit much, so dorms it is.

anyway, shun catches yuuto and kaito making out in their shared dormroom like 3 fucking days after the meet and greet. kaito's expression is one of fear and conveys that he knows full well that shun is 2 seconds from beating him up. yuuto is kinda pissed off about it. yuuto and shun have a long conversation that night about how protective shun is. they fall asleep in each other's arms.

kaito avoids them for a little while, but the next time they see him, shun makes a genuine apology. yuuto and kaito start dating again a few weeks later. ruri is surprised and delighted about it. ruri ends up dormed with rin in first year.

they get along reasonably well, but they dont get close until rin accidentally lets slip that she's gay, and then ruri is like "oh thank god, me too." the context is probably: that yuugo visits them like basically every other day, and is Really Obviously In Love with rin, and rin's affectionate with him, so ruri just kind of assumes theyre dating. and at one point is like, do you want me to go somewhere else so you guys can make out, i could hang out with my brother tonight its nbd. yuugo blushes bright red and is like aaaaa its not like that, like, exactly like he does in canon. and rin's like “lmao im gay. i mean. what.”

ruri probably ids as pan? but anyway, shes like "ohhhh cool me too.” they both kind of stare at each other while this new info sinks in, and then yuugo says something and the moment is broken.

this is still a bit before yuugo's gay crisis

[later, during yuugo's gay crisis about yuuya] [rin] yuugo you had a crush on a boy in /middle school/ [yuugo] no i didnt i had a crush on you [rin] you used to complain to me about how hot he was like every lunch break [yuugo] that doesn't mean anything? [rin] obviously it does? how are you only realizing this now

ruri discovers that rin's been wanting to go to queer alliance meetings but has been too shy about it, so she drags her along. and someone mistakes them for yuzu and selena. idk who it would be..... sawatari maybe?

sawatari is like, Flaming Gay, a legitimate twink despite iding as bi.

anyway theyre like, thats not us, youre mistaken, and sawatari, instead of fucking off, is like, "holy fuck you have to meet them, you look so much the same it's eery." sawatari drags them through the party for like 20 minutes before actually finding yuzu and selena, and he's like "look i told you."

and all four of them are kind of like "holy fuck???" they get a selfie together, its not very good because the lighting is terrible, and they spend the rest of the evening hanging out.

yuzu and selena had a class together and hit it off immediately, theyre already dating. theyre a bit surprised to learn that ruri and rin /aren't/ dating. rin blushes at the suggestion and gets raised eyebrows all around. the four of them become fast friends and start getting lunch together and studying together on a regular basis.

ruri and rin meet yuuya through them, and because yuuya is friends with Everyone, they become friends as well. which sets the stage for yuuya and yuugo meeting, and yuugo's consequent gay crisis.

shun, ruri, and yuuto as pakistani immigrants, they arrived when they were very very young but they get a lot of shit for it anyway, especially ruri, who wears a hijab.

i figure the commons would be mostly latinx/mixed. so like, yuugo, rin, and shinji are all latinx. i rlly like the concept of black crow with a bleached-orange hi-top fade and subtle freckles. yuuya, yuzu, and gongenzaka can pprrobably be white? dennis could be ethnically jewish & light-skinned. fusion dimension crew are mostly japanese, so sora, yuuri, and selena. i.. am not really sure about reiji? following the theme i guess white/japanese mixed. tsukikage is japenese & immigrated like within his memory rather than a few generations back, he's bilingual. jack is latino and white-passing.

i like the concept of shun as a veterinary student, partly because i think he'd follow his interest in birds if things hadn't gone horribly wrong and partly because i find the idea of this edgy asshole in scrubs really funny. yuuto takes social work and ends up with crow as a teacher. yuuya, dennis, sawatari, and sora are all drama majors. yuuri is in botany. reiji is a law major, as well as being on the debate team and the student council. he never fuckign sleeps. shun also joins the debate team, and they do Not get along, but since debate team is the yelling hobby anyway, thats fine. yuzu is in the music program. selena is in poli-sci. yuugo stays in engineering. i dont, know about the rest of everyone.

conceptually, this is a north-eastern reasonably liberal college town, featuring two colleges and a trade school. one college is for the arc v kids, the other one will eventually be populated with zexal kids when i get to know them. kaito starts in zexal school and transfers at the beginning of second year. everyone is in first year rn except reiji and tsukikage, who are in second year, and also are dorming together, and also are gay.

so now that thats all set up!! back to the plot!!

ruri and rin meeting yuzu and selena happens a couple weeks after ruri and sayaka break up. selena hears about it and is like, hey if you need a rebound i can hook you up with someone, and ruri is like. "i feel like itd be disrespectful to date someone else before im over sayaka, ill stay single for a while." she never actually completely gets over sayaka, but she does eventually get enough emotional distance to move on. every time she goes home for the holidays they have awkward not-quite-gay moments.

much like in sfu, sawatari is loaded and hosts house parties whenever his father is away on business trips.

once the 4 girls are hanging out on a regular basis, they all sort of get to know each other's orbital boys. like rin and ruri get introduced to yuuya and get to know sawatari better. yuuya's goal is to be friends with absolutely everyone, and they make good progress on it.

yuzu and selena get to meet yuugo. yuugo is starry-eyed at all four of them, but alas, they are all too gay for him. at one point selena slaps him in the face and he spends like the next two weeks thinking about it lmao

likewise, they all get to meet shun. shun immediately decides that he is going to protect all of them. rin finds it kind of cute, yuzu finds it kind of weird, selena is outright offended about it. they get along a lot better with yuuto, since yuuto is just, easier to get along with. he joins their lunch dates once in a while, as does yuuya.

selena and yuuri met in their high school gsa and relentlessly gossip about everyone they meet. selena introduces yuuri to the rest of the girls exactly once, it does not go well. probably kye gives them all backhanded compliments. shun hears about this from ruri later and decides that yuuri is his enemy.

the first time yuuya and yuugo meet, its because the girls have invited both of them to lunch. yuuya introduces themself with a firm handshake and a wink. yuuya flirts a bit throughout the meal, as they tend to do. yuzu tells yuugo after the fact like, "dont mind them, theyre always like that." yuugo tries not to think about it much.

the second time they meet is at one of sawatari's giant house parties. yuuya, being slightly inebriated, is even more flirtacious than usual. yuugo gets it into his head that this is some kind of challenge, and refuses to back down from yuuyas advances until theyre in a closet together and yuuyas hand is up his shirt.

the next gay he visits rin to have a gay crisis. ruri politely sees herself out so they can talk.

i want to say shun is having a similar crisis about having come very close to having a one night stand with reiji. not because it was gay but because he hates the guy.

rin is exasperated but understanding, she rubs yuugo's back and calls him a pathetic baby while he whines. by the end of their conversation, yuugo has accepted that he's bi, and additionally, that making out is Great and he should do more of it. rin is slightly worried and gives him a safe sex talk, he yells and covers his ears during the entire thing.

meanwhile, shun is like "i fucking hate that guy why was it so satisfying to bite him" and ruri is like "bro i love you but thats way tmi, please do not tell me about your sadistic hatesex kink or whatever the fuck it is youre trying to convey." yuuto, also present, is like "i cant believe you made out with that asshole, and you still have the nerve to get angry at basically anyone i kiss for no fucking reason." shun swears up and down that it will not happen again, and also says that he has already apologized several times for being possessive about both of them, please let him live it down.

(it absolutely does happen again.)

(the second time they actually do go all the way, it is the best sex of shun's life, and he's upset about it.)

[yuuto voice] you have a Problem, why cant you date someone decent and have vanilla sex like the rest of us

rin slowly develops a huge crush on ruri. when she tells yuugo about it, hes like "yeah she's really pretty i completely understand."

[thatfangirlingdepressedkid]

i was tagged by an anon so like here u go

LAST:

1. drink: water

2. phone call: ummmmmmmmm who uses phones anymore?

3. text message: a human

4. song listened to: Death of a Bachelor by Panic! At The Disco

5. time i cried: the question is: when am i not crying?

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated somebody twice: nope

7. been cheated on: nah

8. kissed someone and regretted it: no

9. lost someone special: mmhm this weekend actually

10. been depressed: constantly

11. gotten drunk and puked: im a minor so...yes

THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. ugh black isnt a colour...ummmm...very very very dark blue

13. GAY COLOURS LITERALLY ANYTHING GAY

14. very very very dark grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: shoutout to my tumblr fam! oml did i just say fam. fml

16. fallen out of love: i guess so :)

17. laughed until you cried: yeah cause inside jokes ahhhhhhhh

18. found out someone was gossiping about you: ALL👏 THE👏FUCKING👏TIME LIKE SERIOUSLY GET A LIFE

19. met somebody who changed you: yup :) a couple people actually

20. find out who your true friends are: i think so? but i mean...bpd so...i guess we will never know

21. kissed somebody on your facebook list: facebook is for old people

HOW MANY/MUCH:

22. facebook friends do you have in real life: get over it facebook is so 2007

23. pets: ive had 7 fish...ive given up all hope

24. want to change name: idk maybe on my dysphoric days but not constantly

WHAT:

25. did i get for my last birthday: a phone + data and a trip to Toronto for dance as far as i know

26. time i woke up: ummmmmmm ever heard of insomnia?

27. doing at midnight: probably on tumblr while watching netflix sometimes talking to friends

28. something you cannot wait for: death

29. last time i saw my mom: 45 mins ago

30. something you wish you could change about your life: being alive

31. listening to right now: grey’s anatomy cause OML THAT SHOW IS BOMB, jesus did i just say bomb...kill me

32. something that gets on your nerves: homophobes

33. talked to a person named Tom: idfk probably ive met a lot of people through acting im almost positive that i had a producer named tom when i was like 6

34. most visited website: TUMBLR. but netflix and youtube comes a close second...not really but like i use them a lot

35. elementary school: i went to 2 and was homeschooled for some reasons but like only briefly

36. high school: im in high school? only been to 1 but homeschooling might happen probs not but maybe

37. college: probably will be dead by then...BUT...if i am unfortunately alive, ill be in LA idk what ill be doing but ill be in LA or NYC but probs LA

38. hair color: dark brown looks black in the light kinda red and brown and black UGH WORDS u need to see it to understand what im saying

39. long or short hair: TOO LONG. TOO FUCKING LONG

40. crush: a cool human

41. do you like about yourself: i am filled with self hatred. there is no room for ‘liking myself’ what are u talking about

42. piercings: nope no nah nuh uh not happening not today boo boo not today FEMALE DYSPHORIA IM SORRY

43. blood type: you would think i knew cause ive done too many blood tests to count but nope still clueless as fuck cause IM A MINOR FUCK YOU MOM

44. nickname: M, some people call me Mandy but if u call me Mandy ur dead to me

45. relationship status: taken? wow thats weird to say

46. zodiac: Pisces

47. pronouns: she/her? he/him? they/them? EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN? depends on the day i guess...or whatever im feeling? still kinda confused LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY

48. favorite show: grey’s anatomy currently but pretty little liars comes really close

49. tattoos: WANT WANT WANT WANT WANT

50. right or left handed: ambidextrous get on my level

FIRST:

51. surgery: there has been too many i cant even remember my first

52. piercing: ugh refer to 42 ^^^

53. best friend: a couple of them? no names mentioned u know who u fucking are

54. sport: dance, ugh dance, love dance but like love hate, ummmm im really fucking athletic so like everything?

55. vacation: THAILAND U TAKE ME TO THAILAND U ARE OFFICALLY MY BEST FRIEND ALSO LA TAKE ME TO LA PLEASE I LOVE U FOREVER

56. pair of shoes: adidas cause i get them for freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

RIGHT NOW:

57. eating: newsflash im anorexic

58. drinking: nothing? water i guess?

59. im about to: UMMMMMMMMMMMMM

60. listening to: LA Devotee by Panic! at the Disco

61. waiting for: death? thats not original...ummmmmmm summer i guess? no summer = stress ummmmmm fuck it death im waiting for fucking death. refer to my blog to understand WHY IM SUICIDAL

62. want to see: my hw finished on my table

63. want to get married: idk i guess so? probs will be dead :)

64. career: acting i think but dance is an option i mean im already in the business and working actively so why not continue? idk if i actually wanna pursue it tho

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. hugs/kisses: depends on the person ;)

66. lips/eyes: ^^^ but usually eyes cause eyes are pretty

67. shorter/taller: people are cute no matter what

68. younger/older: does it matter? “age is just a number”

69. romantic/spontaneous: romantic but i wouldnt know im making an educated guess

70. nice arms/nice stomach: nice humans

71. sensitive/loud: sensitive

72. hook up/relationship: relationship

73. troublemaker/hesitant: hesitant i think?

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: nope

75. drank hard liquor: fuck yes gets u drunk fast

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: dont wear them...yet....we’ll see (see what i did there) (and there again) I AM AN AWFUL PERSON

77. turned someone down: yes quite often actually idk why it just happens?

78. canoodling on first date: first of all, ive never been on a date. second, im a virgin. third, WHY CANT U JUST SAY SEX? LIKE ITS NOT A BAD THING TO SAY WE ARE ON TUMBLR WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT...okay im done now sorry

79. broken someones heart: oops

80. had your own heart broken: mmhm all the fucking time idk why it just happens, i just realized how many times ive said that

81: been arrested: nah

82: cried when someone died: MMHM ALL FUCKING WEEKEND

83: fallen for a friend: who hasn’t like lesbihonest (sorry im just really gay)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: of course not who do u think ur talking to

85. miracles: i hope so?

86. love at first sight: ummmmm i think so? i really hope so but idk

87. Santa Clause: no but ummm idk but like no but like maybe but like no

88. kiss on first date: yeah

89. angels: i want to believe that i believe in angels but after everything that has happened to me idfk

OTHER:

90. current best friends name: fucking classified bitch leave me alone

91. eye color: hazel

92. favorite movie: anything disney cause im a disney freak ummmm The Imitation Game cause gay ummm OMG PRIDE GREAT MOVIE also love Tomboy cause it made me cry uggggh coming out ahhhhhhh tears ahhhhh

i tag everyone that reads this cause im too lazy

U BETTER DO THIS TAG ITS ACTUALLY A GOOD TAG SO LIKE

[julietsdarkmind]

lately

my mind has been racing recently, with so many things. i just want it to stop. i feel myself wanting adderall more and more every day. i don’t know if i feel a difference with it but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything so it just makes me want more. i did it four times in the past month, and i just want to do it more. its kinda scary, but i don’t even care. i just found out its immediate release after doing some research. lily literally gave me a few 20mg for free and then i took 2 more when she was gone, which is really sad. so now i think i have 4 or 5 left. i wanna take two 20mg tomorrow, and maybe ill feel something. but i also have a test tomorrow, which makes me question if i should or shouldn’t. but ya know fuck it. well see. i tried to do some homework today and last night but i literally couldn’t focus at all. i barely got anything done. hence why i am writing this now. i only did it four times and they weren’t high dosages so i could be tricking myself into thinking I'm forming a dependency of it or that i need it. i mean i have always been a procrastinator but maybe it wasn’t always this hard to do work. adderall can also decrease your appetite which i noticed when im on it, and as fucked up as this sounds, i like the feeling of not being hungry and not eating all day. i don’t know it has just been on my mind a lot. 

also, as always, emmett has been on my mind. the other night i was texting him and i was pretty fucked up and i said that sometimes i imagine if we lived together. in the morning i realized how crazy that sounded and i felt so embarrassed after. so i texted him that morning and apologized for being weird last night. he said i wasnt being weird and to not worry. i said it okay bc i remember saying weird things then he admitted and said that “maybe they were a little weird lol” i asked him to tell me the things i said that were a little weird. i was like I'm embarrassed to look up and read them, but then i did, and i told him i was sorry for saying the stuff about living with each other and for him to disregard it. he just said how he was high and he guesses some of the questions were weird. but then he said “you didn’t its a good thought” and when he said that i think he was saying how i didn’t freak him out and thinking about living together is a good thought. when i said it that night he said  “that would be amazing” and “it would be like when you visit me” so i guess thats a good thing. i facetimed him that day (the day i told him i was sorry for saying it) and i mentioned how it was cringey and he immediately was like how is that cringey? and said it wasn’t weird or cringey of me to say. i know that took a long time to explain but yeah. it just really shocked me because i thought he was going to get the message that i was already planning our whole future together and shit, but he didn’t get that message. we’ve been facetiming more and longer, even though it is later at night, it is better than nothing. i should tell him i appreciate it. but now he isn’t really texting me back. idk this whole relationship has put me through so much, good and bad. any relationship would. it just scares the fuck out of me because we always talk about what its going to be like when we break up, well i guess I'm the one who always brings it up. i told him how i feel like hes going to be the one to break up with me, but he said the opposite. overall it has just been a rollercoaster, and i don’t think it will ever stop, even after we break up.

kaitlyn has been pretty busy and she cares a lot about school, i know she does, so i understand why she hasn’t been able to keep much in contact. she scares me though because she is always saying such negative things and once i try to address it she just shuts me out. i don't know what to do. shes not my responsibility and i can’t fix her i know that, but it just sucks because i want my bubbly friend back. yes at times she is there, but just overall she seems so miserable and i wish i could help, but she won’t listen to me and this is ultimately up to her. ill see her this weekend which I'm excited about, and a bunch of my friends from home too. i shouldn’t be nervous, but i always am when it comes down to this stuff. I'm going to try and see emmett for a few days during my spring break so i hope she isn’t upset when i tell her. ill obviously be home most of my spring break and try and see her as much as i can.

my friends here have been iffy. i just haven’t been feeling hanging out with them or anything. yeah marina is cool and maybe I'm over it but sometimes i feel as though I'm not as close as i think we are. she talks shit to me about kitty and ashley a lot which kinda proves that she has talked shit about me to them. kitty and ashley just are not my type of people and now I'm kind of questioning living with them at all, it sounds shitty but its true. ashley already said she would want a single if we don't get the quad and we most likely won’t get the quad. i don’t know what ill do. i texted them last night that i couldn’t make it for bachelor night and they didn’t even respond, which kind of pissed me off. ive gotten closer with lily which has been nice and i honestly believe she is a genuinely nice person, and we get along. it was just kinda weird with michael this past weekend but in a way it kinda brought us closer, i just feel bad with how it all went down.

and as for myself, i don’t know. i’m unhappy, i obsess over my body, oversexualize myself, I'm craving adderall constantly and sometimes i can’t even read my own mind. i don’t know how to think or behave anymore.

[suzyqrara]

booty calling

Its 3 AM and I am one day away from getting my period, and I am considering to start searching for bootie calls instead of men that want to be in a relationship. This is the third time that this urge is coming out of me.  I want to text someone I haven't seen in 10 months and ask him if he is available.  I messaged him on snap chat the other day, and nothing came out of it though he replied.  I apologized for the way I turned him down the last august, and he apologized for what he said. I just realized if I talked myself into texting him now and he replied I couldn't even do anything because my cooch isn't shaved. The whole process of initiating one is very stressful.  Like what if he says no...but then who cares but in my mind I will be rejected and it will be something very bad for me. Maybe Ill get over it... I mean, I didn't talk to him for 10 months.  I could just completely block him. He likes thick girls, and I know he would like my body now. But then how would we meet up.  He lives with his son, and I live with mine. Def not my house since I am with my mom too.  So every time I would want some I would need to go to his house. I just texted him, hey. If he doesnt, know who I am, then that will be a sign. If he does, I can introduce the thought?

 I don't expect him to message me tonight, but the excitement of doing this has me not thinking about sex but wondering about how this could play out.  If he messages me back sometime in the morning I can txt him saying upfront I was drunk and I wanted to see if we could meet up.  (I'm not drunk) Then he would see that I booty called him last night and if he's down for the next time I will text him this time next month and try again. It's so random...he probably will laugh at me. Its been like 10 months. But I don't see him as a potential, and I am very attracted to him.... he is the perfect booty call candidate.  I feel like part of the reason I don't feel like I am where I want to be is that I don't feel like a sexual person sometimes.

I look a hot mess all the time, and I haven't bought new bras and underwear in months.  I don't feel like I'm a woman.  I just feel like I am a mom.  I don't feel like my needs are important to be met, and my confidence is gone.  I feel like if I bring sex into my boring ass life... I can feel like a woman, and my vagina can feel alive.  I feel like everyone is having sex...I am left out, and I don't think I am going to be in a relationship anytime soon.  I mean it has been 5 years...no luck at all. This urge literally comes once a month, but maybe if I wake my vagina up, it will come more then that, and this bootie call business would make more sense.  I'm all awkward about, but I need to do something.  I am not getting any younger, and I want sex.  My libido is still kinda there, and it’s wasted if I don't satisfy my body.

I feel like if I start having sex, I will feel sexy for that instant and I will actually get myself dressed for that day to look like a single woman and not a married mother who can care less about what she looks like. I'm thinking about all the men that didn't work out because they or I weren't interested and he is the only one that is a true candidate. He likes plus size women.  There is another one that I just thought of, but I don't think he like plus-sized women, so I don't want to put myself out there like that with him.  He would see my belly, and then he will reject me from any other booty calls I attempt.  But the one I just texted I a confidant he loves women with a lot of meat, and he would make me feel sexy while we are having sex. As I'm dating, I will categorize the men I go on a date with to see if they fit potential or booty call. But then it can become dangerous...I guess on the third date I can get my mindset ready if he is a candidate for a booty call I will toon my mind to I will potentially get drunk and initiate something.

I understand my body is a temple and all that bullshit....but I feel like I am not getting younger and my body has these random needs that I cant seem to get rid of.  IS that fair to my body?  I have a baby, but I am not dead, and I am sooooooo tired of these stupid dates and these men who don't know how to have a conversation, and I waste 5 dates with them to find a red flag that I do not want to make time for. That is 10 weeks of my weekends wasted, and I still have not gotten any!  I feel like if this man texts me back tomorrow, I will initiate it and see how he feels about it.  I'm so over being the only girl who hasn't had sex in over 5 years.  Im too young to live a sexless life. I need to put my big girl panties on and own my body.  I am beautiful, and I can not just sit here waiting for that patient person to make me feel comfortable before finally having sex.  I need to just rip this bandage off and get what I am subconsciously really looking for on these stupid dates...to get laid. I can care less about feeling love...I havent felt love in all mylife. I don't know what I am missing, and I feel like I will have to wait until I'm old and pruny to actually experience it  I want to get laid.  This is how I was feeling when I initially started dating Marvin.  I was desperate to get some. But I needed to do it the right way because he was my first, so I needed to trust him that he will stay.

[survivor-themyscira-blog]

ok so first of all i am sorry for not participating in the challenge !! i had fall break vaca and was super busy but anyways ~ hi im loving this cast so far and i am so glad that i get to play with some new faces! & also some old ones too. im just going to do a brief cast assessment rn so i can record my thoughts on everyone initially:

emily - i love her so much! she is super sweet and i think she is going to be super invested and great at this game which means she could be a potentially strong ally for me moving forward! we have chatted a lot and i really like her andreas - literally havent spoken a word to him yet so we will see .... ian - pharmaCY KING! i was able to bond with him a lot and i think that we have the potential to have a very good dynamic, but it needs to grow organically jordan pines - i have played a few games with him before and he is such an amazing ally as long as he thinks he can beat you in the end. with him i always try to play dumb and act like im bobo the fool [even tho like 50% of the time i actually am bobo the fool so it isnt a full on act] and let him think that he controls my votes so im hoping that works in my favor again lily - no comment honestly i don't care for her and would love to vote her out but idk if i am going to get a wise opportunity for that madeline - she seems super sweet and also she has a really strong personality which i like but we haven't been good about replying to eachother so far so we will see what happens moving forward, id really like to work w her and get to know her better kai - i literally love kai he is so sweet and kind and perfect and i hope we finally get the chance to work together in this game bc we have tried and failed so many times in a row so fingers crossed! rhone - rhone is so fun! i have wanted to play a game w them for the longest time bc they are so iconic and smart strategically. i have hosted and played with them before so i think i have a good insight as to how they play the game. i'd love to work with rhone moving forward toph - toph,,,,ok so coming into this game i was nervous about toph because he is such a crackedt and forward player from past experiences but in my last game i was kind of mean to him so i genuinely apologized to him bc i do feel bad bc im p sure he is much younger than me and honestly i was a little shit when i was his age so if he does decide to forgive me id love to work something out with him the bottom line is that i am down for anything with this game. i always make it my thing to work with people i have never worked with before so hopefully that can happen woo! also i feel like now im an easy vote off since i didnt participate in the challenge so hopefully i can work that to my advantage and make people think im a person who is just a number and a sheep for now. until next time!

I'm SO ready for a tribe swap.  I like my tribe mates but I'm just wondering how hard they are going to try to go in the future ughhhh

CHARLOTTE IS A MEANIE SHE PRETENDS TO LIKE ME BUT THEN SHE DOESNT GIVE ME AN ADVANTAGE AND LAUGHS AT ME

Alrighty! Im way to tired ro film anything and im watching the office so whoops not my problem! Im just kidding lol! So right now as per usual i feel like my game is going to be extremely paranoid which I learned to from my queen Emily in azore I SEE YOU QUEEN. The last time me and her played together i was way to ott and now im more calm and reserved. I feel paranoid right now as to what the hell this dang twist could be!! And i feel like im at the bottom of the totem pool here on this tribe. I’ve been chatting with everyone which is good but jordan pines scares me so much and i know we have to keep him for awhile, I really don’t know how to feel about other people right now. I like nicholas and i can actually talk to him now since ff but i think if ruthie from there tribe survivers and me and emily survive we could be a killer squad. I think jordan pines is the most scariest things on this tribe every because he is so intense and in your face if  you like it or not and its scary. I feel like there already are alliances formed and im scared as fuck by that. Im just going to keep my foot tapping and praying to the jesus that there are no majority alliances former already. Jordan pines can lead an army and that scares me so if I don’t get close with him im screwed man! Rhone dosnt really respond to me so I kinda feel like he might not like me. Lily seems cool and i really Like madelin but Tophily is here to play and float a bloody way to the end lol! Lying isn’t a strong suit of mine so im going to not lie unless im talking to the person going home. I glad we won immunity because I won’t be going anywhere and not be a first boot. My goal Right now is jury but i have to go one day at a a time and take It SLOWWW! Lol!! With this immunity challenge no one can do it so i think i will have to and im okay with that but if we lose and they start blaming me for losing im sorry I actually don’t have a life to live while you guys do! So im just gonna bite my tongue because i have a shit ton of liquids in my fridge which is a plus for us lol!! My family of 6 is now a blessing? Like what the heck!! So there's my thoughts for today and the past day. Im just going to relax watch the office and wait for my Prince Charming to come out! Lol! Whatever happens in this game. Oh fuck wait! i have some tea to spill and you will be quaking in your loafers! So i was doing the puzzle for the idol ajd Someone already found it! I was shook! And Emily is now getting an advantage while ill be snuggled up like a bug in log that’s being tugged on by a slug! That made no sense LOL! Okay now i think all my thoughts are out for now but who knows ill be screaming in my head about not saying something soon lol! And with that and my future boyfriend goodnight and farwell!

https://m.popkey.co/8a68bf/Ao9Xg_s-200x150.gif It's probably a good thing that I have the super idol. Literally no one is talking to me. I'm a little annoyed because I've done pretty much nothing wrong, except not submit for the challenge?? I guess Jack's influence that not doing a challenge is pretty strong over this tribe. Hm. Although I have this idol, there's no guarantee that I'll ever have to use it, and honestly if I go to tribal it's probably best for me that it doesn't become a priority to play it. I really don't want to play it if I don't have to, because the tribe could easily just vote me out the next chance they get. I also told Raymond about the "regular" idol hunt I did today, where he could jump off the cliff and get a number or whatever it was that I did exactly, and he was like "LETS GO ON CALL" but like... I was playing Roblox so Skype 10/10 wasn't gonna let me do a call properly. So I was like... sorry bud but just go search anyways! And he never messaged me back, so I have no clue whether he did or not. Right now, I trust Raymond a lot. I don't know how I feel about Madison or Dan. Amanda is a nice woman, I really wish I had a better relationship with her though. I don't trust Logan (and I know Logan doesn't trust me) and I don't like Jack all that much, unfortunately. I figure that someone is gonna go after me -- potentially Logan. Logan and I have a history of playing games together and while I never once wronged him (at least not by my knowledge?!) he doesn't ever want to trust me in games. There's literally no point in even bothering playing with him because he doesn't like playing with me all that much. But I know Logan would be united against players that I don't get along with, like Nicholas and Jordan Pines. Those two would be my most desired boots from the other tribe just because there's no chance I'd ever align with or trust either of them, plus Jordan has made the end of this series so many damn times already and it's maddening. My personal goal this season is to make it to 9th place. I got 11th last time but I want to break into single digits, a very rare occurrence for me. Like obviously I'm winning this season, but I wanna set some small goals just to make the journey to finals a little less treacherous. Anywho, I think this confessional is long and boring enough. I'm gonna go talk to Jack and see if anything happens. Maybe I can try to understand him a little better, lol

Sorry I've been a bit quiet so far uni took over but it's the weekend and I can catch up. The tribe seem ok, really quiet though not really what I am used to. I found the challenge hard as I didn't really have any time and there was like nothing DC around, guess the UK is a marvel fan! I'm shocked that JG had to go, I love him to bits and was looking forward to working with him but he has his reasons. Hopefully the next challenge will be better for us

Heyyyy sunshines~~~ Just a quick one. I still don't know a bunch of people on my tribe, but I got to chat a bit with Madeline and Tosh. Life is good. I'm pretty sure that somebody already found an idol inside a library book, but I can't tell who it was so whatever :) I can't participate in the next challenge sadly, but that's life. I am taking the social game a lot slower this time around and I feel much better as well now. There's no need to try too hard. I am a bit concerned that I am in touch with too few people, but we shall see about that. JG got eliminated, which makes me sad. Not much to talk about rn. Cya soon!

This game has been pretty exciting so far! It hasn't been like most survivor games where I'm in a rush to talk with everyone in case they decide to murder me in cold blood, so that's nice. I still feel like I'm going to get murdered in cold blood, but it's whatever. My tribe is pretty nice so far, though I'm not the biggest Toph fan and Nicholas seems to be nonexistent. Everything's great otherwise, though. My one idol search had me getting caught by the guards, and I'm honestly not too eager to go out and search again. It'd arouse too much suspicion towards me.

I hate you Charlotte for what you made me do. Not drink those drinks, but that was my last snack pack! You owe me pudding. My fellow competitors Madeline and Toph have earned so much of my respect for doing that challenge too!

If someone has already submitted this then just ignore me It’s the anti-antilopes vs the lit hippos

ALL I KNOW IF MY ASS BETTER NOT GET VOTES OUT AFTER DRINKING THAT VILE ASS CONCOCTION YALL HAD ME DRINK LIKE IM GOING TO BE BURPING A1 SAUCE ALL GOD DAMN WEEK. But like low key jack tho really 1:32......? You lucky I like you bro

Okay, real confession. I think Billy might come for me, but he won't if he's smart. I'm good at contributing to challenges in the tribal phase. Don't fucking touch me. That being said, I don't want billy out. I think Jaiden should go. He won't be helpful, he's not social, I'm not into it. I love him, I do, but as long as he's here, we might as well keep losing. The other option is Amanda. While she's sweet, she's never online, which is understandable, you know? She has kids, she has uni, etc, but that's... not valuable to me at this point in the game. I need to win, I need to escape this tribe alive, I need to not be seeing the VL again ANYTIME soon.

I LOVE THE HIPPOS!!!!!! HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS

Okay so here’s the deal, I like everyone on our tribe. I guess. Billy can be annoying but he’s going through a lot so I can’t ask people to vote him out. Idfk, all I know is these basic hoes couldn’t win this damn challenge? Worse has been in my mouth than honey, bbq sauce, and water and I wasn’t complaining!!!!

I’m Logan talking in the tribe chat but flat out ignoring my messages. Yeah, I think I might get votes tomorrow, but the only way it’ll come out is if myself or Billy receive the majority. The reason why I’d play it on Billy is simply because I feel like I can trust the guy, and not to mention he also has been preoccupied with a freaking funeral, like... what heartless monster votes him out after that? Hopefully I DON’T have to play it, but I’m ready and willing to play it if I have to.

thanks JAIDEN for saying you didn't know I was in this game why would you do that. You make me look either inactive or like I'm stuck up or something UGHHHHSDFJSLDF

Jadien

can i just...idol abbey out of this CHAT?

We Hippos won immunity, Yay. It's good because I haven't quite found my footing in this tribe, I didn't want to compete but everyone was asking to not compete so I might as well step up and do it, I'm not one to shy away from a good challenge, especially when people are, should give me staying power right? At least I did it. I digress, A swap is coming in the next round or two, I can feel it. I need to continue to play as my sweet friendly self, cause deep down I am that guy. My main worry is that when the swap happens I might get targeted buy members of that damn Antelope tribe. My plan to remain consistent but not over the top in challenges might have gotten a little hindered by this on since I did compete. Raymond needs to be premerge booted, the guy killed it in this challenge and we don't need a comp beast going forward. I'll cross my finger he gets got soon. As for life on the Hippo Tribe, I have still kept my clue to the idol secret, if I happen to find it then I might share the clue with someone. If I find it, I sooo want to idol out the person I shared the clue with, this hero archetype player can be a villain given the opportunity. Madeline is cool, she's nice, but she is a talker. Talkers make me hungry, I think my game can benefit by keeping her close and dropping her when I need to. Rhone is cool, started talking to me about sports but I'd vote him out. Nicholas is probably on the menu for our first boot at tribal cause he's MIA at the moment but I want to keep us immune until I have a chance to work with him. Toph, I could take or leave, same with Emily. They don't impress me much. Kai and Andreas, I love ya dudes but you do seem like sheep for the slaughter this game, Andreas less so. JORDAN PINES PUBLIC ENEMY NUMBER 1. I am curious to see how far this snake can go or if I'm a mounted trophy on his wall or if I can mount him on my wall.

https://youtu.be/NxdOnwnLLeE

OHHHHHH FUCK ME SIDEWISE, I accidentally sent the real clue to Madeline instead of the fake one I had written up.

Oh god I'm making meninist moves and a meninist alliance. The VL is going to hate me

Okay this is a proper quiet tribe you've got here, so not used to this! So I am going to have to do what I didn't want to do and take control of tonights vote... wish me luck.

Amanda about to get her ass beat by this vote. I'm a rat, I'm a snake, I'm a roach. But her ass is grass WHEW. I just don't want Jaiden to go because I actually talk to him. This is MENINISM, but *SHRUGS this is TRUMP'S AMERICA

Okay Amanda got to go tho, this hoe is messaging me saying all this shit about how Jaiden isn't going home because of some advantage he has. Bitch you're the one going home so I'm confused. I'm just gonna sit here with Cheetoh dust on my fingers and watch this all go down. I mean I could for sure go home, which would be so fucking funny, but like I'm just gonna be #Confident, thanks Demi Lovato

OKAY I KNOW THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD ONE IN 15 MINUTES BUT AMANDA IS ON TO ME, AND NOW I'M SHOOK. I talked to way too many people about this plan and I think it's backfiring lol Oh well, I think she'll be going tonight regardless, if not it's been real lmao

So my name has come up, but I also have a little trick up my sleeve called the Themyscira Oasis! Basically, I’m telling Amanda that I’m going to be playing my Oasis on myself tonight in order to avoid being voted out. Then she spills literally all the insight behind alliances, inner workings of multiple relationships, and so on, just so she can blow her game up on her way out the door. However, I don’t WANT Amanda to go home. In fact, I’d rather blow up my own game in order to ensure that someone in my corner stays in the game. Amanda is actually trying to save me, regardless of if I use the oasis or not tonight. I’m telling her that I’m using it no matter what, when in actuality I don’t have it to begin with. My target right now is actually slowly shifting from Logan to Dan, because I just don’t have a whole ton of trust with him just yet. I’d rather keep the devil I know (Logan) around because I can always prepare for what he’s gonna do next. I can’t predict anything with Dan because I’ve never met him before. As Amanda pointed out, Dan herself and Ruthie are clearly working together because they had a “group think” moment where they came up with my name as the vote to go home. She didn’t say specifically who brought my name up, but that it was a process of elimination which makes sense imo. Anyways I was mid-way writing everything and Logan and Dan called me stupid and crazy, and that’s the story of how I told Amanda they were gunning for her. So now I’m going to blow everything up, publicly, because I have nothing left to lose. I said I wasn’t gonna be a mess this season but I’m back into my old habits, I suppose 🤷🏼‍♂��� Sound the alarm, Hurricane Jaiden has made landfall!

me after that blow up made absolutely no sense but I’m still working it https://78.media.tumblr.com/5d766478fb350acbddd66160284749ba/tumblr_o7887f1gRR1sdmszbo1_400.gif

Apparently Logan thinks he's in danger? And so does Jaiden? But everyone's voting Amanda? God I hate premerge.

today has been so wild all I know is that this ENTIRE TRIBE is full of snakes and I have to watch what I tell ANYONE cause it will get back to the other people.  Amanda told Jaiden that Dan and I said his name but UMM, she gave us TWO OPTIONS. but now things I'm telling Jaiden are getting back to LOGAN and Dan is going around telling Billy everything I say and this is just wild these people are crazy and no one knows how to keep their freaking mouth SHUT! I want to find a ride or die I can tell anything too but that can't happen if they're going to keep comparing notes.

So I trusted Jaiden and voted Dan. Is that a bad thing? Probably not considering I heard he was throwing my name out there. I'm kind of glad he's gone, he always does well and then never wants to work with me. So bye :* time to get serious, I need to prove to everyone I'm here to play this time.

https://youtu.be/Slv3EzWZjuU

NOW THAT'S A FUCKIN' TRIBAL! Super good for my game, even though I would've kind of liked to work with Dan, because Amanda still remains a major target, and now Jaiden has made himself a much bigger target. Combine that with me getting closer to Raymond and Logan because of this? A big win in my book.

"Actually, wait... I am gonna play my super idol on Amanda" https://thumbs.gfycat.com/SnarlingDarkLarva-max-1mb.gif Oops, sorry Dan

WHAT THE FUCK, JAIDEN?  WHAT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT. I keep telling him 'ooooh hehe it's fine, it's fine' but like WHAT now Amanda is going to hate me, and just ugh I hope the announcement is a tribe swap get me away from these people they talk about what each other say too much. I can see why he wanted to use it but WHY DAN?

https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ

Jaiden has thrown that shade stick out and I'm very cautious about him now. Tho he tells me that it wasn't an attack to me or anything but like...if we're close why wouldn't you tell me what you're going to do. Low key just bummed out. That bastard.

---

THIS WAS ALSO THE ROUND THE HOSTS STARTED DOING ROUND TABLES TO TALK ABOUT THE GAME. HERE IS EPISODE ONE!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP0-OZFvxfc