#if i get a single comment even implying i did something the reader didn’t like i just shut down lol

[adriancatrin]

i’m currently reading an old gen fic on fan fiction .net and wow. the amount of edits the author seemed to make every chapter based on reader feedback.. was that seriously the culture back then? i remember seeing it a lot in my olden days as a fan fiction reader but it’s so vastly different to the culture on ao3 today that i can’t even fathom, esp now that i write fan fic too. is this fic i’m reading an outlier w the frequent edits or was it really just.. like that? i don’t think i’d ever have started writing fic if there were still an expectation to edit based on reader feedback, or more so, if readers were so prone to just ~correcting~ authors’ writing & expecting edits in response

[whimsiwitchy]

Controversially Young Girlfriend (part two)

Hugh Jackman x popstar!reader 

series masterlist & main masterlist

summary: y/n is a globally beloved pop star. She is known for her talent and dedication towards her craft. Recently, she has also been known for her preference for older men. After a breakup with her former older boyfriend, she had a run in with the hottest dilf right now, Hugh Jackman. Y/n tried to warn him, but what can she say, she has an effect on hot, older men. 

warnings: age gap (23/55), cursing, y/n used, implied shorter reader, afab reader, she/her pronouns. 

warnings will change as the story progresses! all descriptions of real people in this story are FAKE. I do not know these people and this is purely fiction. Please let me know if I missed anything!! <3

authors note: I truly appreciate every single one of you who has enjoyed this story and has shown it love. I want to have a slow start to things so I hope everyone appreciates a good slow burn lol. enjoy! <3

part two: pathetic

London was absolutely beautiful. You’d always dreamed of coming here- simply exploring anywhere out of America really. It was so fun being in a foreign place hearing silly accents all day, you loved it. You wanted nothing more than to do a world tour for your debut album but your label decided to play it safe by only touring around North America. Now that you were here, you dreamed bigger and would try your hardest to gain the fan base it took to have a world tour. Traveling was honestly one of the best perks of being famous. 

famous

It was a word you were still getting used to as it almost felt shallow to refer to yourself as such. Though it was true. You were famous. Having that interaction with Hugh and Ryan yesterday made the reality sink in even more. Two men who had been in the industry for decades knew who you were, it was mind boggling to put it simply. The embarrassment seemed to keep creeping in when you would remember your interaction between the two men yesterday. The yelp of surprise and the quick, but loud, ‘holy shit’ that was thrown from your mouth involuntarily made you cringe. Hugh asking about Pedro was something you weren’t prepared for at all either. It made sense for him to ask, if he was a close friend of Pedro’s then your name being brought up didn’t seem like the oddest thing. However, never meeting Hugh before, you wished the conversation could have been different. 

Ugh stupid hot, tall, older, Australian man that could sing. He was literally everything you found attractive bundled up into one man. You had a brief obsession with The Greatest Showman, as every theater kid did, but your celebrity crush of the movie was Zac Efron. If only freshman you could see current you, she’d probably laugh. 

Hugh had been on your mind all night and hadn’t left since you woke up this morning. If you could remember, you’d be certain he was the focus of your dreams too. The following and the comment was shocking to say the least. From Ryan’s words, they were fans but why did he follow you after he had met you instead of before. Ha, as you think about it more, it probably wasn’t even him. It was more than likely someone who was hired to run his socials, just like the person on your team that posted that photo for you. You were definitely overthinking it all…This morning when you were brushing your teeth, you kept trying to remember the feeling of his big hand on the base of your spine. It was all a bit pathetic. 

“Helloooo…earth to y/n.” Ashley, your best friend, says as she snaps her fingers in front of your face. “Are you going to tell me what has you all spaced out or do I have to deal with you moping around this entire trip?” There's a hint of annoyance in her voice. 

Ashley has been your best friend since middle school. She was always your number one supporter, so in return, you take her almost everywhere with you. Of course you invited her to London and of course she planned an entire itinerary around your busy work schedule. Her company was appreciated but it was impossible to hide your emotions from her, making moments like this difficult. 

“I’m sorry. It’s nothing really, it can wait until later.” If the two of you weren’t sitting in the middle of a small cafe, you would have told her every single thought that sat in your brain, but you couldn’t. You never knew who was listening in on your conversations. That became something you had to get used to, not being able to exist in public. It usually wasn’t too bad, for example, you could sit in a cafe with your best friend but sometimes things got out of hand and you couldn’t even walk down the street.

“Okay, you better.” She gave you an understanding nod. “So, I bought us tickets to go on the London Eye at 2pm then I thought we could go grab a late lunch or dinner, whatever you-” You’re looking at her and nodding trying your best to pay attention but you can’t. You hated the way one singular interaction with Hugh had your entire day scrambled. If you ever saw him again, you’d have to tell him off for being so hot and ruining the fun London trip you had planned. 

—

The wait for the London Eye ended up taking an extra forty five minutes and Ashley was pissed. She was a very schedule oriented person, one minute off and she’s stressed the fuck out. The entire time we waited, she complained and would have had the king on the phone if you hadn't stopped her. Her mood was unchanged by the time you stepped into your private cart.

“If I tell you all of my boy drama, would it make you calm down and enjoy the ride?” You ask slyly as you look down at the water below as the wheel starts to move the bubble you’re sitting in higher. 

She gasps and her eyes go wide.

“BOY DRAMA???” She screams out, her previous negative mood disappearing and her eyes light up with excitement.

You sigh as you gather your thoughts. 

“Well..it’s not really drama. I may or may not have a teensy crush on someone.” 

“Oh my god!! Who is it? Have I met them?” 

“Uh no. I actually just met him-” She’s cutting you off before you can finish your sentence. 

“YOU SLUT!” She yells, pointing an accusing finger at you. 

“What the hell Ash? I didn’t even tell yo-” 

“It’s Hugh fucking Jackman isn’t it? Stacy said she saw the way you looked at him yesterday. Jesus y/n, you don’t even know the guy.” She’s rambling on, judgment clear in her voice. 

“Since when are you and Stacy on talking terms?” You purposely ignore everything else she said. Ashley was jealous of Stacy for awhile. When you asked her about it she claimed that Stacy was trying to steal her best friend away. It took a lot of reassurance that the relationship you had with Stacy was work before friendship- and if she had become a good friend along the way, that was something you weren’t going to tell Ashley. 

“We can be civil when it comes to concerns for you.” 

“And what concerns are there lately?” 

“Huh… Stacy let me in on your little conversation yesterday about swearing off men for a little bit but once Hugh stepped through the door, she said that she could tell that idea was out the window.” She’s trying her hardest to keep a straight face but there was a slight smirk peeking through. 

“Oh my fucking god, you guys are so dramatic. Yes he’s fine as FUCK but like you said I dont know him. I probably won’t ever see him again.” You sigh at the end. You really wanted to see him again. 

“What even happened that has you wrapped around his finger already?” You don’t speak for a moment as you think about how to say your thoughts without feeling dumb. 

“Please don’t tell me you only have a crush on him because he’s hot…You take your crushes too far for that.” There's a look of panic resting on her face. 

“He uh…well…you know how we took the pictures yesterday for BBC?” You ask and she's nodding. “I thought he looked good but I swear I wasn’t thinking anything irrational. It was when we had to take those stupid pictures and he rested his hand on my back…Ash, I swear there was a spark or something. It felt so… I don’t know…so.. right?” The cart you’re in is sitting at the top of the wheel and you’re taking advantage of the view while you wait for Ashley to respond. When she doesn’t, you turn to look at her. She’s staring blankly at you, giving you slow blinks. 

“What?” Your voice is soft, barely above a whisper. 

“Y/n, how old is he?” Her expression is unchanging. 

“Fifty five…I googled it last night..” You were feeling ashamed of your behavior. You felt like a kid with a stupid school crush. Pathetic. 

“Hm, that’s your oldest yet. What’s next, eighty or ninety five is probably more to your taste huh?” She’s making fun of you and it hurts. You know she’s never approved of your taste in men but you can’t really help it. It’s not like you block out guys your age, they just don’t satisfy you. They’re mean, boring, and losers. You wanted a real man. Someone who was established in life and could take care of you. 

“Whatever..” You let out softly. The cart was nearing the bottom once again and you were ready to be free of the room of gossip and judgment. 

“Y/n… you know I only want what’s best for you. I mean look at what happened with Pedro and all the other men before him.” She’s sincere and you understand her point of view but you wished she would understand yours as well. 

“I know Ash. It’s just a stupid crush anyways.” It was more of a reminder to yourself rather than to Ashley. She was right, you did have a habit of taking your crushes too far. You always had to try to get the guy who held your attention but you were confident in who you were. Most times it worked but a break from dating was what was best for you. 

—

To apologize for being mean, Ashley was currently on the phone with some poor worker from one of Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants. She already made a reservation for tomorrow night but thought tonight would be better to cheer you up. You tried to reason with her by telling her that there were plenty of great restaurants in London we could get into tonight, but she insisted on having a very touristy dinner tonight instead of tomorrow, like it made any of a difference. 

“I know the reservation is for tomorrow but miss y/l/n needs it for tonight.” Her voice is strong and unwavering, determined to get a table tonight. She’s been throwing your name around left and right hoping that someone would know who you were. It all felt too pretentious for your liking but you couldn’t control Ashley when she was like this. 

You were sprawled across your hotel bed, scrolling through instagram. The voices inside your head were screaming to look at Hugh’s page, just a peak. Last night after you saw the comment, you practically threw your phone across the room, too afraid to look at it again. You're honestly thankful for that reaction because who knows how long you would have stayed awake thinking about it and diving into his life. You did make that quick google search to see just how old he was but that was the end of your exploration. 

Your fingers moved faster than your brain could process, typing his name into the search bar and clicking his profile the second it popped up. You didn’t have to scroll far into his account before your heart started to race. You clicked on a mirror selfie he had posted of him in his wolverine costume with sunglasses on. The pose and the caption really showed his age but for your sick brain, it made everything about him even sexier. You cautiously swiped out of that picture to prevent an accidental like. The next picture to catch your attention was one of Hugh in the trunk of a car. Your eyes almost jump out of your face with your tongue rolling onto the ground like the cartoons. The size of his arm was insane. You weren’t one to go for muscular men, but Hugh could choke you out with that arm any time he wanted to. His smile was so dreamy. You hadn’t seen Deadpool and Wolverine yet, not really having interest before, but now you might have to take a solo trip to the movies. You were cooked.

“Thank you, I’m glad we were able to come to an agreement. Yes tonight at 8pm.” Ashley is hanging up the phone and lets out a high pitched squeal. 

“How do you do that?” You’ve always been amazed at her negotiating skills and her ability to get whatever she wants. 

“Natural talent..also having a famous bestie doesn’t hurt.” She giggles and checks the time. Her laughter turns to a gasp. “We have to get ready, it’s already 6pm!” She’s gathering her things and as she’s rushing out of the door, she’s telling you that she’ll be back soon to get dolled up together. 

You had to learn how to style yourself over the past year of being in the limelight. Fashion was something you had been interested in but in Minden, if you dressed too out of the ordinary, people would stare. You shied away from it for longer than necessary and only recently learned how to express yourself freely thanks to your stylist, Kat. For dinner, you picked out a lengthy fitted black dress. It had the prettiest floral pattern that covered it with butterflies popping up here and there. What sold you on the dress though were the two frilly pieces of fabric that hung on either side of the dress. It was stunning and it looked even better on you. You decided on letting your hair sit in its natural state, not caring to put much effort into it. 

When Ashley came tumbling back into your room, wearing a red fitted dress, the two of you put some music on and got to work. You weren’t going for a super complicated makeup look, simply deciding on a small winged eyeliner, mascara, a dark blood red lip stain, and a hint of blush. Layering a few necklaces and adding some hooped earrings, your look was almost complete. All that was left were a pair of black heels that had two strings that you effortlessly swirled around your calf tying it into a cute bow at the top. 

“You look smoking hot! Let me take a picture of you.” Ashley whistles and grabs your phone to take a few shots. She was right, you looked good. You decided to post one of the pictures of your instagram story with a small caption that said ‘dinner time 😋’. 

What you loved about Ashley is that she took your fame with a grain of salt most of the time. When you wanted to take an uber or taxi somewhere, she never complained. You often got tired of taking private cars everywhere, wanting a little normality when you could get it. The uber ride over was a quiet one, both of you too focused on the view outside of your own windows, soaking in the reality of being in Europe. 

The restaurant was gorgeous. It wasn’t over the top fancy with normal everyday people littering the dining area, it was nice. Ashley and yourself were in quiet conversation as you looked over the menu. Feeling adventurous, you asked the waitress what she recommended and you ended up ordering the dish. Sipping on your espresso martini, you took a moment to feel grateful for the life you got to live. 

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Ashley is sighing with a slight roll of her eyes. 

“Good evening y/n.” A voice is approaching behind you before you could question Ashleys sudden annoyance. It was a voice you recognized, hearing it the day before. You turn around to see Hugh standing behind your left shoulder and you stand up to greet him properly. You’ve gotten accustomed to hugging almost everyone you meet nowadays, you lean in without thinking. 

“Oh my god! Hi Hugh.” There's a big grin on your face. It felt like a sign that you were seeing him again. 

“I don’t want to bother you ladies for too long. I recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi. I also wanted to apologize for bringing up Pedro yesterday, it was rude of me to do without even introducing myself first.” He lets out in his gruff voice, accent strong. His arm and yours are still interlocked in a weird side hug type of position. 

“It’s totally fine, you didn’t know.” You look into his eyes with utmost sincerity. “Oh uh, this is my best friend Ashley. Ashley, this is Hugh.” He breaks the side hug to reach to shake Ashley’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you.” Hugh lets out and Ashley responds with a short ‘you too.’ You give her a look that says ‘be nice’. 

“Well, I’ll get out of your hair. It was really nice seeing you again sweetheart.” He smiles down at you.

“It was nice seeing you again as well.” 

“Here let me.” He’s motioning to your chair. You take a seat and he's pushing it forward for you. 

“Thank you.” Looking back at him with a shy smile. He gives your shoulder a squeeze of acknowledgment and he’s walking away. 

“Maybe the universe does want you with a man old enough to be your grandfather. I mean what are the fucking odds of running into him at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant.” Ashley lets out in total disbelief. 

You don’t say anything, you give a sly shrug instead. The rest of the dinner is tame. The food was delicious and you felt woozy from the martinis you’d been downing. Ashley let you know half way through the dinner that Hugh was sitting not to far from us and that he ‘had a fucking staring problem’, her words exactly. It made you giddy to think he was looking over here and if you begged Ashley to trade seats with you it was no one else's business. She obviously refused and you spent the rest of your time focusing on your friend, with Hugh sitting in the corner of your mind. 

When you got back to the hotel, you immediately stripped yourself from your heels and dress. Laying in the bed in nothing but your undergarments, you opened instagram and took a look at your story one more time, wanting to see just how good you looked. It was shallow for sure but it made you feel good. You saw the hearts flooding the bottom of the screen and decided to swipe up to see who had liked it. As you scrolled nothing really caught your attention until that name caught your eye again.

“I recognized your dress and wanted to come say hi.” 

What the actual fuck.

thank you for reading <3

part three

series taglist: @chronicallybubbly @spideybv28 @pear-1206 @robertthehoover @reidsworld @bloody-bunni666 @quillycrow @kythefangirl25 @bluetimeombre

I think I got everyone tagged that asked to be! If you want to be added/removed let me know. <3

[00-jammy-00]

HI!

Could you do a reader deity who is basically forgotten but Yan finds them and worshippes the hell out of them? (Maybe to the point of having a cult if you're comfortable)

And if you're uncomfortable with the ask that's perfectly fine! I'll probably send another Idea then!

Also any chance I could be 🔪 anon?

Thank you and have a good day! :D

Yan!Worshipper HC’s

Yan!Worshipper x GN! Deity! Reader

Content warning - Yandere themes, obsession, murder, implied stalking, nsfw mentions, manipulation, cult themes, he’s really pathetic I won’t lie

A/N - One more day until my 1K follower special ends!

———————————————————————————————————

Yan!Worshipper who had stumbled upon you when he decided to listen to his dumbass boss and go hiking. He had fallen down the side of a hill, almost breaking his ankle in the process. Though, all of that pain was so worth it when he saw your old, ruined shrine.

Yan!Worshipper who began visiting once a week. When you noticed you had finally gotten a follower, you were excited so you showed yourself when he prayed. He saw stars. You were so gorgeous, so perfect. Just seeing you had his jaw dropped and his pants uncomfortably tight.

Yan!Worshipper whose schedule slightly changed. Visiting you once a week, once every three days, once a day, multiple times a day… It didn’t matter though! He quit his job because you blessed him with amazing luck. He fixed up your shrine but he still felt horrible, you were forgotten. He did the only thing he could think of doing and started to spread the word about you.

Yan!Worshipper who slowly developed a following for you, just a few people here and there…a few hundred. He was a devoted man okay?! Of course he led the cult, none of these fuckers were worthy. None of them were allowed to gaze upon you but him. Only he could bask in your presence, bathe you, dress you, watch you, follow you, fuck you.

Yan!Worshipper who snapped a few necks while attempting to keep this cult going. Some people were so ungrateful, didn’t see what you had to offer. He made sure to soothe you whenever you got too stressed about the disappearances too. “It’s okay, my love, they are apart of something bigger, now look at all the offerings you are getting!” He made sure these brainless drones donated a bunch to this fucking thing too, he couldn’t go broke while servicing you.

Yan!Worshipper who is attending to your every need constantly. He brought you the finest silks, the biggest bed, the ripest fruit and anything else you wanted, as long as you were pleased then he was happy. It made him even more happy when you let him service you in other ways.

Yan!Worshipper who pounds you like the world is ending tomorrow. He can’t help but constantly be touching you, admiring you. He drags his fingers down your body, memorising every single piece of you. You were all his! He didn’t care about his own pleasure when his god was sitting right there. He once came three times just from giving you head.

Yan!Worshipper who’ll never let the cult be shut down. He’s paid off police and government officials to turn a blind eye to the murders sacrifices that happen at the mountain. He couldn’t have his work taken away. God forbid you get taken away. You’re his now. You chose him.

———————————————————————————————————

Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated, requests are open <3

please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms without my permission.

[dilfdemolisher]

ETERNAL - Hannibal Vampire AU

Summary: Recently turned by your physiatrist after being found on the brink of death causes more then emotional turmoil when you can no longer fight the feeling of hunger - Comments and critiques are encouraged.

Content Warning: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT, cannibalism, gore, it's implied the reader attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts, manipulation, implied death

Word Count: 1.4k

You shake your head in disbelief. “This is ridiculous. I did not consent to this.” 

He smiles, “This specifically? No, but you did consent to be bitten. It is not my fault you are regretting your choice.” 

You cannot stand his smug satisfaction that he draws from your discomfort. 

“I wasn’t given full specifics of what this would entail, and I was vulnerable and incoherent. Someone on the brink of death doesn't understand things clearly.” 

He steps closer; you can’t help but tense at his body nearing yours. "You said yes because you trusted me, and why should you stop now?” His chilly hand cups your own cold cheek. 

Everything is so firm, as you’ve noticed since you turned. It makes you so inhuman that you’ll never get to appreciate warmth again—no hot baths, no more feeling the sun’s heat on your skin. You are now chained to a cold castle, inhabited by a cold, cruel man. 

“You transformed me into a monster; you’re the last thing I’d ever want to be, and you’ve cursed me with just that.” You insult while looking into his eyes. It’s hard to believe you once admired him as an intelligent, handsome man. But now, when you look into him, you understand what a dark, hollow man he is inside. 

His nails dig into your cheek slightly. You feel that he should pierce through your skin, but despite the pain blooming, your cheek stays taught, and no puncture wounds form. 

The physicality of your transformation continues to surprise you. The cold skin that covers your body reminds you of porcelain in a sense; it’s impossible to damage without shattering, causing complete destruction. 

Nevertheless, you are persistent in your standing. “I was your patient; it was your goal to keep me sane. You failed and corrected your mistakes, once too late.” 

After stealing a moment to observe you, he pulls away. “You’ll cave much sooner than you expect; I can already smell your hunger.” He says before walking away, leaving you alone with your thoughts and drying throat. 

Hannibal was right. You’re caving. 

At first, your mind started reeling at the ways you could most ethically eat. But it didn’t take long for morality to leave you alone, perpetually cold and hungry. 

The noise in your brain is consuming you and is now too loud to ignore. It claws at your stomach and mind; it didn’t take long for you to start wailing. You falsely assumed you could go much longer without eating, like a reptile or spider. But it’s only been days since you’ve turned and hunger is crawling out of your throat in desperate cries.

Your bedroom door opens; it’s odd to call it that. It’s just a room in Hannibal's house with a bed, nightstand, and bookshelf—a place that should be cozy. But it’s not like you sleep in it. It's simply a space with four walls to wallow about your stolen death.

“I have something for you.” You hear his voice say. You are too exhausted to even acknowledge his presence. You don’t want a gift; you want to die.

He sighs, you hear him step closer to the bed in which you lay. “She’s unconscious, she won’t know a thing.” 

When his attempt to soothe isn’t met with a single sound of recognition. He places a hand on your cheek, guiding your eyes to his. “She’s going to die either way, you can eat while she’s unconscious or I can devour her while she writhes.” 

You could say no; you could shake your head and beg for a rat, you’d even morally compromise for a cat. But you’re so hungry.

An image of a woman drained and pale, fragile and lifeless that your head conjures does nothing but give you the energy you need. “Please.”

“Then come,” he smiles, holding his hand out to you. 

Shakily, you rise. His hand stays firm on your lower back as he guides you into the living area. 

And there she is, the human you’ll steal their life from, her future, her life, her love. All to be greedily swallowed by you. 

Hannibal watches your reaction closely, the intensity of his gaze piercing through the dimly lit room. You can feel his satisfaction, his anticipation. The human lies motionless on the couch, her chest rising and falling in a slow, rhythmic manner. She’s so fragile, so warm. You catch the faint scent of her blood, a scent that suddenly fills the room, sharper and sweeter than anything you’ve ever known.

Your throat tightens, a raw, burning sensation that pulses through you with every breath. You step closer, feet moving of their own accord. The hunger gnaws at you, each step a battle between what’s left of your humanity and the predator you've become.

Hannibal’s voice breaks through the haze. “You’re fighting yourself, but why? This is what you are now. Accept it, and the pain will subside.”

His words dig into you like knives. You hate him for it. Hate him for turning you, for binding you to this monstrous existence. But most of all, you hate him for being right. The hunger is unbearable, an insatiable craving that dominates every thought, every fiber of your being. You clench your fists, your nails biting into the skin of your palms, but the pain does nothing to distract you from the scent of the blood calling to you.

Hannibal steps closer, his breath cold against your ear. “She’s yours. Take her.”

You close your eyes, trying to remember who you were before this nightmare. But those memories feel distant, slipping through your grasp like sand. All you can feel is the hunger, a relentless, throbbing need that clouds everything else. You open your eyes, staring at the woman lying before you, her life hanging by a thread. It would be so easy, just one bite, and the hunger would be gone.

You lower yourself beside her, hands trembling as they hover above her throat. Her pulse is steady, the sound of her heartbeat deafening in your ears. Your fangs ache, desperate to sink into her soft, warm skin. You hesitate, but Hannibal’s presence looms behind you, his shadow pressing you forward.

“You don’t have to suffer,” he whispers.

With a gasp, you lean forward, your lips brushing her neck. The warmth of her skin against yours sends a jolt of electricity through your body, and before you can stop yourself, your fangs pierce her flesh. The rush of blood fills your mouth, hot and intoxicating, more powerful than anything you could have imagined.

For a brief, terrible moment, everything else fades away. The guilt, the shame, the hatred—it all melts into nothing as the hunger is sated. The warmth spreads through your body, filling you with a twisted sense of satisfaction. You drink deeply, feeling her life drain away with every pull, her heartbeat growing fainter as she rushes down your throat.

But then, something shifts inside you. The realization of what you're doing, of what you’ve become. You pull back, breath ragged, her blood still staining your lips. The woman lies there, pale and barely breathing, her life slipping through your fingers. You look down at her, horrified by what you've done, by what you are.

Hannibal is beside you, watching with that same smug smile. "You see now, don’t you?" he says, voice laced with dark satisfaction.

You stumble away from the woman, the taste of her blood still clinging to your tongue. “I don’t want this,” you whisper, but the words feel hollow, meaningless; you know you’ll want it again. The hunger never truly goes away. It’s always lurking, always waiting for the next moment of weakness.

Hannibal steps closer, placing a hand on your shoulder. "The sooner you accept what you are, the easier it will be. You’re free now—free from the limitations of mortality, free from the weaknesses that once held you back."

You shake your head, backing away from him. His smile fades, replaced by something darker, more dangerous. "You’ll learn in time, the gift I’ve given you" he says quietly.

Without another word, he turns and leaves the room, his footsteps echoing in the emptiness. You're left standing there, trembling, staring down at the fragile life you’ve just torn apart.

[cheralith]

to a heart's content — 「 single father!miguel o'hara x reader (part iii) 」

content warnings ; fem!reader, implied fem bodied!reader, use of she/her pronouns, reader wears dresses and makeup, mild violence mention

contains ; single father!miguel o'hara, boss!miguel o'hara, assistant!reader, angst, angst with some comfort, unedited/not beta read as of 2/24

word count ; 8.5k

notes ; we're so back. am i severely late to posting this? very. did i at least get it done after too many months? also yes. i also apologize in advance to those i tagged that are no longer interested in the series, as i merely tagged people that had commented regardless of time. lmk if you no longer want to be tagged in the last part, i promise i won't take offense at all!

parts ; one two three four (tba)

THREE YEARS AGO

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N), it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. O’Hara. Please let me assist you at any need possible.”

Miguel peered at you through his reading glasses, averting his attention from his laptop to fully examine the stranger that stood in his office. Dark hazelnut eyes scan the appearance of a young woman dressed in black slacks and an ironed white blouse standing stiffly next to his superiors that eyed him with more eagerness than he liked. He could already tell that you were a shy one, a person that wasn’t too accustomed to the outside world and its people; you stood with stiff posture; it was one that exemplified nerve rather than confidence from the way that you almost seem paralyzed in your place. 

Caldworth, one of the superiors that stood by your side, placed a wrinkly and veiny hand on your shoulder and showed you off to him as if you were a painting up for bidding. “We choose a sharp one for you. (Y/N) here is rather attentive, so don’t be shy about letting her get to know you better, Miguel.”

Miguel stayed quiet, still skeptical about this sudden new arrangement for him that was brought up at the last minute. He lacked a certain sort of anticipation that would usually behold anyone else in his position—a new person entering their work life would usually be an exciting, rousing meeting seeing as how it would be a new addition to what the higher-ups would refer to as “family.” A loose term, Miguel often thought… very loose, even. To even have the courage to compare coworkers to something as intimate as family was something that didn’t sit well with Miguel. Blame it on the certain circumstances on his own familial life, but even anyone else that had their brain in the somewhat of the right spot would understand that mere coworkers were nothing compared to family.

At least in his case.

“I’ve greatly admired your work in the past,” you said almost robotically, “so I hope I can be of any help in your future accomplishments—no matter how big or small.”

Miguel cocked his head. He fought the urge to raise an eyebrow at what he began to concur was something scripted via his superiors. Something about your tone of voice seemed… flat; devoid of any actual enthusiasm. 

Caldworth and his partner began to see themselves out, leaving him to babysit you. “Well, you two have at it! Maybe go out for a cup of coffee to familiarize yourselves, get to know each other better since you both are essentially going to be around each other all the time,” Caldworth stated, making Miguel twitch from the last part. 

Just before they left, Caldworth offered the glint of his eye over his shoulder, the peek of a tight-lipped grin ever so slightly visible.

“And don’t forget, we’re all family here!” he cheered before the slam of a door shut you and Miguel in.

Immediately, Miugel noticed that your shoulders caved inward, indicating that you were finally able to breathe properly without the surveillance of people that were essentially in charge of your life. He eyed you again from the top of his glasses before he took them off and rested them in between his fingers, letting them dangle lazily. 

“Did they tell you to say that?”

You jolted in your spot. Nerves seemingly reshocked with the same anxiety from before, you turned yourself to face your new boss again with a much more paled, yet evident expression—wide-eyed, pursed-lipped, gritted jaw—and swallowed thickly. Almost in a shameful manner, you silently nodded your head. 

“W-was…” you started, “was it that obvious?”

“Somewhat,” Miguel murmured simply and closed his laptop. “Don’t listen to what they say, just make yourself as comfortable as possible. I’m sure neither of us want to be that comfortable with each other.”

Your lips pressed themselves into a tight line, hitching a sharp breath before it’s replaced with another stiff nod. There was no user’s manual of sorts that was given to you by your superiors. They merely told you to do exactly what Miguel needed, so if this is what he wanted—for you two to maintain distance—then so be it. If anything, it’s easier to breathe this way for both parties. 

And it was like that for a rather long time; the both of you never came too close to the other person. It was strictly a professional workplace relationship, one that didn’t issue any room for intimacy because it wasn’t needed. There were no lunch or dinner get-togethers outside work hours, there was barely any small talk between you both, and you and he didn’t even bother getting each others’ personal numbers despite being consistently around the other like air—both parties thought the work phones were more than enough. There was no need for you to learn about his likes, his dislikes, his favorite foods, and Miguel couldn’t certainly be bothered with your own slices of life. To each their own, if you minded your business about him, he’d do the same to you. 

It was a fair trade and a sufficient barter that satisfied you and him; there need not be any excess of the unnecessary.

That was, until a certain day that Miguel was held back during his usual hours to continue working on lab reports—work that didn’t allow him freedom from this hell of a company to see his own salvation.

“If it’s an urgent matter, Mr. O’Hara, I don’t mind taking on some of the workload,” you had said softly as you placed the last stack of packets on his desk that needed proper annotation. “I’m your assistant, after all. It’s my job to help you out.”

Miguel rubbed his forehead out of exhaustion and shook his head, “You’re my assistant from 9 to 5 only. I’m not gonna be like those shocking pricks and work you longer than needed,” he muttered and stretched out his neck, joints crackling. “Go clock out, (Y/N). I’m sure there’s someone waiting for you at home that needs attending to.”

Suddenly, the atmosphere had gone awkwardly quiet. The tension was only broken by the scritching of your shuffling feet before you coughed. 

“Um, there’s no one in particular like that for me, unfortunately,” you whispered through a forced laugh that quickly dissolved. “So again, I don’t mind staying late…”

Miguel stiffened in his seat and mumbled an apology for his blatant inconsideration. Right… you were still rather young and didn’t seem the type to have a family yet. “No boyfriend? Or girlfriend… I’m not one to judge.”

“No, Mr. O’Hara.”

“No parents?”

“I moved out, so no.”

“Not even pets?”

“None.”

“... perhaps friends of sorts?”

“...”

Another sigh heaves itself from his aching lungs. What he’d do for a cigarette right now to kill this awkward tension. You were a rather shy person that isolated herself from most people, but Miguel didn’t think you’d detach yourself this much from the crowd. 

You proposed your assistance once more, as third times always a charm. “Please let me assist you, Mr. O’Hara. I truly do not mind staying overtime if needed.”

Miguel, at first, thought you might be kissing his ass for a possible raise, but the thought quickly disappears when you genuinely appear concerned for his well-being given the fact he looked ultimately much more disgruntled than usual. Despite your timidity, you could be a stubborn one, so Miguel gave in before he tired himself even more with mild arguments that he was sure would drain whatever life he had left in him.

He inhales sharply and fiddles with his bag for a bit before he pulls out an array of keys, gently detaching a pair of them. One of them is his car key. The other—his house key. 

“Take these,” he said and gestured them to you. “I’ve trusted you enough to drive my car on multiple occasions, so now I’m entrusting you to my daughter.”

Your eyes widened briefly, brows raising to new heights. Blinking in the alikeness of an owl, you repeated, “Your… your daughter?”

Miguel supposes this is what succumbs to him after not revealing even the most personal, yet basic parts of himself to a coworker. He hasn’t even revealed his birthday to you, let alone his family, so he can’t say he’s too surprised at your reaction. 

“Yes, my daughter,” he repeats and starts scribbling on a post-it. “Her name is Gabriella, she just turned five and is in kindergarten. I’m gonna call up the daycare and tell them that you’ll be picking her up from school. After that, drop her off at the house and just… just kind of stay there until I come home. There should be leftovers in the fridge if she gets hungry. I’ll take a cab home… I dunno.”

Miguel sticks out the post-it note containing both the address of the daycare and his apartment number. With caution, you take and examine them closely with a mild surprise still on your face of the new information about your boss that you thought you should’ve learned a while ago. You begin to see yourself out of his office with an evident nervousness in your being before Miguel spontaneously gets up and grabs your wrist tightly, forcing you to look at him.

A chill goes down your spine when you see a menacing and unusual red glint in those pools of mahogany. His once-drained face is suddenly stony and rugged with his teeth bitten back to avoid any unnecessary threats. The physical contact makes your nerves go cold and paralyzes you into place to force you to stare into those eyes that you’re not sure aren’t even human, a sort of malicious crimson tint gleaming over brown hues.

“Do not… let anything happen to her,” he hisses under his breath, his tone jaggedly sharp, “Not a single scratch, yes?”

It takes a while for air to breathe itself back into your lungs, yet only a partial amount of it revives your body because all you can reply is a choked out, 

“Yes.”

Miguel lets go of your wrist like it’s a heated iron rod, the burn of it stinging his hand with the aftertaste of your skin still damped on his palm. You quickly leave after that, leaving him to sigh and stare into nothing before clutching the picture frame of his daughter that sits on his desk—praying that you’ll live up to his expectations and arrive home to an unscathed Gabriella.

And throughout the duration of the three years you and Miguel have spent side by side, with each repeated question he’d contritely ask again and again, he did each and every single time you had to take care of her. The hours became longer, more strenuous, and created a blockage between Miguel and Gabriella that only you were able to bridge between. Gabriella—whose particular shyness reminded Miguel of a certain someone—eventually warmed up to you and began to treat you much more familiarly as time passed, growing accustomed to wrapping her body around your legs when she saw you during pick up and always asking what was for dinner that evening as if you’ve been there since her birth.

Gabriella grew very fond of you, Miguel noticed. There was some sort of mimicry in her actions at times that mirrored your own habits like how she’d tilt her head and purse her lips to the left when she was confused like you did or she’d randomly walk briskly in the same fashion you marched. She’d slip in a mention of your name during small discussions here and there, a praise never failing to tail her words. 

“Miss. (Y/N) bought this headband for me! Isn’t it pretty?” 

“Oh, Miss. (Y/N) taught me how to solve that problem yesterday.”

“Can you make cookies like how Miss. (Y/N) does? Yours taste weird.”

While you weren’t always present around the O’Haras, Gabriella made sure it seemed like you were. 

There was a particular time that Miguel was helping her on some homework assigned over the weekend. The assignment had discussed different careers that children might be interested in the future and when Miguel had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, Gabriella, who couldn’t have been more than six or seven around the time, replied all too simply, 

“I want to be like Miss. (Y/N).”

Miguel was astonished. He had expected an answer like a professional soccer player due to her love of the sport or a scientist like her father, but to aspire to be someone that seemingly was just an occasional companion? To him, it didn’t make sense.

“Like, do you wanna work for Daddy when you’re older?” Miguel asked, attempting to clarify what she meant since she knew enough to understand you were associated with her father. 

Gabriella shook her head and mindlessly continued to draw what seemed to be a portrait of you in… a pink dress? “Nuh uh. I wanna be a princess like her.”

Through furrowed brows, Miguel chuckled a little aimlessly. Of course she’d still believe fantasy and magical things—she was just seven after all. Initially, he wanted to merely correct his daughter, but was a little curious as to what sort of silly information you had been feeding her. “Miss. (Y/N) is a princess?” 

“Yep, she told me herself!” Gabriella exclaimed, her hand fisting a yellow marker that scribbled on a crown on the drawing. “She said she used to be a princess, but she ran away ‘cause a giant, fire-breathing lizard tried to kidnap her!” 

“I think it might’ve been a dragon, mijita,” Miguel corrected gently, trying to go along with the usual trope fairy tales portrayed.

“Nuh uh, it was a big and creepy lizard, she said!” she retaliated stubbornly.

“Well,” he started again, attempting to choose his words a little more carefully this time around. “How come you don’t wanna be like Ariel? Or Tiana? They’re princesses, too, right?” 

She shrugged. “I like them. But they’re not Miss. (Y/N).”

Something unnatural began to seep into Miguel’s chest. He knew that Gabriella liked you quite so, but he didn’t expect for her to almost admire you in such a fashion that inspired her to be like you. In his eyes, you were nothing but the assistant that loyally stood by his side and abided by his every word—to him, it seemed like you were more of a butler or servant than a princess. 

But in his daughter’s eyes… 

“Why? What’s so special about (Y/N)?” Miguel inquired with a growing curiosity to try and see you in the same light as Gabriella. 

She shook her head, displeased with the informality given to you by her father. “You gotta say Princess (Y/N). I don’t have to ‘cause she said it’s okay.”

He sighed, “Okay, fine. What’s so special about Princess (Y/N)?”

Gabriella set her marker down carefully and thought for a little while. Her eyes suddenly lit up with delight, an affirmative grin set on her lips. 

“Well, she’s really pretty… like reallyyy pretty. I wanna be just as beautiful as her one day,” she praised, making Miguel’s brows rise at the sudden compliment. “She’s really nice, too. She never shouts at me like the teachers or coaches do… and she always lets me have extra dessert when I do a good job on my homework.”

Miguel fell silent. Perhaps it was more than mere admiration, but idolization for Gabriella. She viewed you in a way that Miguel hadn’t even thought of because he only viewed you as his coworker. But in Gabriella’s eyes, you were more than just her babysitter—you were literal royalty to her. He shouldn’t be one to complain though—he’d take his daughter following in your footsteps over some others that might lead her astray. You were… sufficient enough, he supposes, even if Gabriella didn’t think so.

“She’s super smart too—like you, Papá! Maybe even smarter,” she retorts, making Miguel twitch. “And I like her voice a lot. I really like it when she reads me a story because her voice is pretty. Sometimes she sings this song to me to help me sleep.”

“Oh?” Miguel questioned, “¿Y, qué canción es esa?”

“I keep forgetting the name and words of it…” Gabriella pouted after a moment of attempted concentration. “But it went somethin’ like…”

She began humming an off-tune melody that struck a dissonant, yet familiar chord within Miguel, but it was impossible for him to find why it was so eerily familiar to him. Was it perhaps from an old song? Or a film he’d seen before? It was a calming song, one that was perfectly suited for a child’s lullaby, but something about it seemed almost so customary to him. 

“Ya gotta marry her,” his daughter said plainly and began to resume her artistry, ignoring the sudden startle she gave her father. “So that way, I can become a princess, too.”

Miguel helped himself to the nearby cup of water to soothe his choked throat after the scare she gave him. “Sweetheart, I’m not a prince, though.”

“Yeah, I know,” his daughter replied without missing a beat. “But you know what you are, though?” 

Dare he say that Gabriella had grown akin to you the same way she had with her father. Something about her praise and regard for you seemed to mirror the way that reflected alike to her father, yet Miguel couldn’t tell if she had managed to draw a line between the images of you and him. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Gabriella could even define a difference in her adulation between you and him besides the fact one was her parent. 

But when the thought of Gabriella potentially viewing you as sharing the same title as him—a parent—something seeds inside Miguel. He doesn’t know what it is or what it will grow into, but there’s one thing he knows for sure. 

The seed of you in his life and hers is here to stay, whether he likes it or not. 

Gabriella’s smile grew wide before she happily announced,

“You’re her knight in shining armor!"

PRESENT

If he squinted properly and took a closer look, perhaps Miguel could make himself hallucinate enough to try and visualize the golden chandelier above your head as your haloing tiara. It was the main light source nearly the entirety of the venue, but something about the way the light glistened around you made you seem almost holy, like you were a divinity gracing your presence on the wretchedness they called Earth.

Blame it on the wine, but Miguel couldn’t help but notice that you looked more celestial tonight; a unique sort of ethereal that he’s only seen in the finest of paintings. The banquet hall is covered in layers of silkened gold, only emphasizing your best features in the spotlights of reflecting amber. 

You’re talking idly (per usual, unfortunately) with a coworker from Human Resources that he’s seen you often have mild conversations with on the weekly, a rare familiarity that he only knows he’s been graced with in full; so it’s truly no surprise that there’s a placid stir of envy growing within Miguel as you’ve decided to not give your semi-cold shoulder a break even tonight, even with the rarity of a compliment given by him. At least there’s been somewhat of an improvement—you’re actually holding miniscule conversations with him every now and then as you both chatter with the crowd as long as there’s a third party.

Yet he still hasn’t been granted mercy of having a proper one-on-one with you, yet.

But beggars can’t be choosers, so Miguel must make do with what he’s offered.

The coworker, finally, is called by one of his project managers and politely excuses himself, leaving you to Miguel’s devices at long last. Like a flower’s petals given little to no care, your smiling face wilts into the solemn countenance that Miguel has grown accustomed to seeing for the past week when you turn your gaze back towards the table, a sliver of Miguel caught in the corner of your eye. In time, he just barely catches a glimpse of your eyes flickering toward his figure before they return to stare at the nearly empty plate of food with a slight dismal.

A choice of what words to say jumble in his mouth. They toss and jump about while not giving him full comprehension of what they mean and Miguel grows frustrated at his lack of intelligibleness because it wasn’t every day that his resolve could be so cowardly in front of someone. Usually he was the one that made egos shrink, but upon your grace, his own could only grow so small. 

You can tell there’s an awkward silence amongst you both despite the audible chatter throughout the banquet hall and the idle conversations among your tablemates, so you break it first but stiffly shuffling out your phone and dialing Gabriella’s babysitter for tonight—a blue moon occasion since neither you nor Miguel could be present. Gabriel is out of town and because there were only so many people in the world that Miguel could trust with his beloved, the elderly next-door-neighbor was the last resort. 

“I should probably check up on how Mrs. Darcie is doing,” you splutter with a dry mouth. “I forgot to teach her how the TV remote works and I’m sure she must be bored out of her—”

Unconsciously, Miguel gently pries the phone out of your shaking hands, the connection between skin and skin electrifying his nerves more than he liked. He takes notice of the size difference between your hand and his own and eyes carefully at how easily your fingers would be able to slip into the gaps of his all too easily; like two connecting puzzle pieces. 

He places it face down on the table to avoid further distractions. “I’m sure Mrs. Darcie is alright,” he attempts to soothe as he places his hand over your own, nearly caging it between his fingers. Miguel struggles with fighting the urge to squeeze it delicately—he doesn’t know if he’s earned that privilege, or if he ever did. “Gabi is most likely preparing for bed, we shouldn’t distract her.”

Eyes flickering toward your covered hand, the warmth that envelopes it from Miguel’s makes you swallow thickly. 

“Ah,” you murmur and timidly pull back your hand to place back on your lap to Miguel’s disappointment. “Right… Never mind then.”

And suddenly, he’s back to square one. Silence plagues the air again between you and him, only this time, it’s thicker and grimier almost. Perhaps it was the oddity that was the physical contact that added to the musk of it; Miguel prays that you didn’t find it uncomfortable. 

A fork is plucked between your fingers and you go to idly poke at your food to fidget with something other than your hands. “I hope she’s okay. Gabi, I mean. I-It feels a little odd leaving her with someone other than you. 

Rays of hope and enthrallment embellish Miguel’s being from the fact that finally… finally you’re the one attempting a conversation with him after much too long. And not only that, you’re beginning with something bold, even if you don’t realize it. Despite the fact you’re rather unconscious of what you’re saying, something within Miguel perks up at the fact that you’re worried about Gabriella in the same sense… that he is.  

That a parent is.

He fights the urge to physically shake his head to brush the thought off. Miguel hums, a semi-sorry attempt at being suede and casual. “Mrs. Darcie has had eight children in her lifetime, I’m sure that she’s definitely had her experience of taking care of kids,” he says seemingly nonchalantly. “Gabi, if anything, is lightwork to her.”

A soft delight pings in his chest again when you reply almost instantaneously, “She is indeed a good girl, very well-behaved.”

“She has her moments,” Miguel snorts, fondly remembering a few of younger Gabriella’s temper tantrums and outbursts of tears.

Something golden, something bright blossoms within him when he hears you let out a soft chuckle at his reply. It’s abrupt, but it’s short and sweet enough that he feels accomplished, enough for him to savor the taste of it. “All children do from time to time. But she’s definitely one of the better apples of the bunch.”

Miguel thinks you’re right; it wasn’t often that parents, new ones especially, were granted with the privilege of having obedient children, so he’s one of the lucky ones. Perhaps Gabriella being a good kid was the universe giving him mercy as a single parent, as society often thinks it takes two to tango when it comes to childcare most of the time. 

But that’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Even if Miguel wasn’t aware of it, some of the responsibility was lifted off his shoulders when you entered the picture, as the duties of nurturing a young child were now in your favor the moment you had signed your work contract. For that, he harbors guilt from time to time when he thinks that you never exactly signed up to be a babysitter, let alone a parent figure to his kin that you were still unaware of. 

And then it hits him.

It comes all of a sudden—his senses downpouring from the cloud of his daydreams and thoughts.

It’s not a good realization by far. If anything, it’s the very opposite, one that’s one the other end of the spectrum. It’s a deathly epiphany and one that he doesn’t like to acknowledge but is forced to.

Miguel stares blankly at the tablecloth, eyes droning into the satin folds of it as they mimicked the waves of a crashing ocean. A sort of paleness infects his face, the color of it draining slowly and he goes still when he feels his heartbeat thundering in his ears. 

You’re quick to take notice of your boss’s current disposition, growing wary of his wide, blank eyes and gritted jaw, along with his knuckles growing white as they fist his slacks. A shallow breath is echoed from him; you furrow your brows.

“Mr. O’Hara?” you murmur, leaning toward his figure. 

Miguel’s mind stirs. If Gabriella views you as a parent-figure, what exactly would you think of it? You’re not much younger than Miguel is, only falling behind a mere four or five years, but you’re still significantly young that you’ve got your whole life ahead of you that you’d need to experience by yourself. The remnants of youth are still planted onto you despite being well-adjusted to the adult world, so to put the responsibility of a child on your shoulders? Miguel feels contrition flood into him.

What if you didn’t even want children? 

It’s a fact that you care for Gabriella, but do you harbor the same type of love for her that she has for you? Does she even understand what your role is in her life and that there’s a strict boundary between you and Miguel and Gabriella? He knows he can’t just shackle you onto a weighing responsibility, but when Gabriella is a part of this dilemma, the complication increases tenfold.

Your boss seems to be frozen in time, seeing as how not a muscle in his limbs nor his face were moving, but his eyes were wide open, almost glazed with fear. A feathery hand goes to place itself over his tightened fist before you ask again, “Mr. O’Hara, are you okay?”

It’s a fact that you care for Gabriella, but do you harbor the same type of love for her that she has for you? Does she even understand what your role is in her life and that there’s a strict boundary between you and Miguel and Gabriella? He knows he can’t just shackle you onto a weighing responsibility, but when Gabriella is a part of this dilemma, the complication increases tenfold.

The worst case scenario infects Miguel’s thoughts—you standing in the same shadow of his ex, exiting through the same door she had walked through just a few days after his daughter’s birth and breaking his entire being into little pathetic pieces.

This time, however? He wouldn’t be the only one with a shattered heart.

A thick swallow goes down your throat. You gently shake his hand with your own to attempt to break him out of his frigid state, a worry beginning to settle itself in your stomach. “Mr. O’Hara? Can you hear me?” you declare a little louder than the first two times.

Your voice makes him blink and he clears his throat, feeling his cheeks warm at the sudden loss of composure. “Yes, I-I’m fine…” he mutters as he tugs at the tight collar of his dress shirt.

You nod with visible skepticism. Miguel turns away from your gaze to avoid further questioning, since he knows you’ve been at his side long enough to know his behaviors. “Are you sure?”

He nods and stifles a sigh, nodding. The flurry of what had just occurred in his mind lingers almost painfully and it takes him a while to remember where he is and why. Right… the annual celebration gala… with you… to make up for the date that never happened.

His mind is a mess. It’s an incoherent tornado of everything and anything, with images of all kinds flashing throughout his mind—young Gabriella’s drawing of you and her as princesses that she insisted on framing, your face of disappointment that you gave him when he ditched out on the date, a flashback of his ex slamming his old apartment door on him as an infant Gabriella screamed and wailed in her crib, you hugging his daughter after her winning goal, Miguel’s frazzled self as he showed up too late to his daughter’s first Parents Day with a teary-eyed Gabriella, him finding you quietly reading a sleepy Gabi a bedtime story after a long shift at work, you making baked goods in the kitchen with her.. you tucking in her into bed… you suddenly with a suitcase in hand, a sobbing Gabriella in the back as Miguel begged you to stay before you slammed the door behind you and leaving them—

Miguel stands up abruptly, making you jump. The collar and tie around his neck suddenly seem too tight and his throat runs dry. The air grows hotter and his vision starts to blur. 

“Mr. O’Hara,” you start as you also stand up, “Is everything alr—”

“I need some air,” Miguel barely chokes out before he leaves the banquet hall without another word. He can just barely hear you ask if there’s anything you could do before he turns a sharp right and leaves the entirety of the building altogether, choosing to remain in the back garden to breathe in fresh oxygen, a relieving chill to the air.

A hand goes to loosen his collar and tie and he can feel himself gain consciousness again. The sky is draped with an ink blue all over, speckles of the night stars scattering all around. The floral smell of many garden flowers fills his senses and Miguel grounds himself properly before he settles himself on a stone bench to balance in his mind.

He attempts to reason with himself. 

Clearly, you don’t mind being with children, and obviously you don’t mind being with and taking care of Gabriella. She’s not simply a job to you that you’re forced to work with—you’ve said it yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn’t go to her games nor would you remember to bring her small gifts of her liking. You’ve done things for her out of your own initiative many times. Gabriella is your world, Miguel thinks, as much as your hers.

Now there’s the problem of you being with Miguel, if your feelings haven’t changed all too much. In all honesty, Miguel thinks if he’s with the right person, he’s sure to put in effort into stabilizing and nurturing a proper relationship. He hadn’t had the time to go around and look for love because of work and Gabriella, so serving as this sanctuary that came to him was basically a perfect fit into his life—don’t mind it took him three years to notice it. You’re worth putting that effort in.

Finally… there’s the possible chance that you reject Miguel’s proposal of being Gabriella’s secondary caretaker.

…

Miguel attempts to process it in a more… positive light. One that won’t send him spiraling. 

But it’s nearly impossible.

How is it possible to settle a middle ground of happiness, or at the very least… satisfaction, between you and him and Gabriella? How do you imagine a happy ending to a dawning of Gabriella’s happiness? How can Miguel ever face you after asking such a thing?

His vision shakes again, another hurricane of impossible questions begins whirling in mind. The bile in his stomach churns uncomfortably and his hands grow clammy again. His feet feel like they’re sinking in the dirt. Somehow, even at a staggering height compared to most of his colleagues, Miguel feels small once more. 

Would he be able to cope with such a—

A loud crash and multiple screams suddenly break Miguel out of his state and he whirls his head to see what was happening inside. The peek of something green slithers inside the massive hole in the glass ceiling indented in the building, and it doesn’t take Miguel long to know what’s happening.

He sprints back inside the building and into the banquet hall, the opposite way where everyone is headed and takes a swift peek inside to what was happening. 

A horrifically large green lizard crawls on the floor, letting out an agonizing roar of sorts with its tail swishing about and knocking everything and everyone in its path over. Dr. Curtis Connors, the one foe Miguel had fought a few months ago and had just managed to escape his grasp, had come back for revenge in a newer, more improved, more terrifying form of his initial self-experiment. News of his identity had leaked out immediately the moment that he had defeated the mad doctor, and every work that was researched by him that was deemed irrelevant by Alchemax was unpublished and/or destroyed—that included raiding everything in his personal lab—an urgent executive order made by Tyler Stone himself. 

Hungry for revenge for the destruction of his work, Miguel was certain he was back for revenge as back when he was still sane, the amount of research that Dr. Connors had put in was extensive and yielded long years in the making, spanning over nearly three decades of research that was wiped away in the matter of a single day thanks to Alchemax. 

Miguel quickly turns a corner, hidden from the public eye, and commands his suit on before quickly re-entering the banquet hall. He swings up towards the domed ceiling and carefully analyzes the area.

There’s still a few people scattering from the room, shrieks echoing from the walls. His eyes go to search for where you are in desperation, praying you’re safe somewhere outside, but a flash of light pink catches the corner of his eye. He nearly snaps his neck when he finds you running in the opposite direction of where most people are headed—towards the garden.

“(Y/N)!” Miguel yells out without thinking and slaps a hand over his mouth. Thankfully, you don’t hear him due to the commotion inside the area as you swim against the current of people. You fight the urge to fall down with every person that bumps into you amidst the chaos before you thankfully make it near the exit.

He lunges down from his spot on the ceiling, lassoing a few people that nearly get crushed under Lizard’s humongous tail and bringing them to safety properly on the way, making his way towards your figure. Rubble from the many columns begin to collapse on themselves; clouds of dust and debris fog the first floor of the hall with the wreckage already trapping some people inside. 

A large chunk from the wall creaks and begins to teeter over the south exit, where you’re headed. A certain distraction diverts you from noticing the large cement framework around the exit that’s about to topple on you to Miguel’s horror. In the nick of time, he just barely manages to snatch you by the waist from a thrusted sprint just before the framework collapses with a thunderous boom. 

You and Miguel cough from the dust it created. It takes a good second for you to process what your fate might’ve become, and it takes just another second for you to regain your consciousness. A good part of the exit is now blocked, but that doesn’t stop you from taking off your heels and attempting to climb over it. 

Miguel barks out and grabs your arm that’s now scathed with slight scratches. “The hell are you doing?!” he exclaims worriedly. 

You turn back with a teary and troubled look on your face, much to his shock. Abruptly, you turn back towards the exit and attempt to tug back your arm from his firm grasp. “M-my boss… he’s inside the garden,” you croak miserably out as you try to pull yourself over the fallen column. “I need t-to know if he’s safe…”

Lizard lets out another mighty howl and patters toward the stage, his tail once again swinging haughtily and ignoring anything in its path. Miguel shouts at you to duck and pulls you down along with him. You prop back up and without his arm on yours, you use it to your advantage and grunt yourself forward onto the column. 

Miguel wraps a large hand over your ankle and weighs you down from moving any further. “Hey, you need to get out, now. You can’t be here, no one should be,” he urges.

The shake of your head concerns him—right, you’re too stubborn for your own good. “I’ll be fine. P-please, just leave me be.”

“Not when you’re about to get killed,” he declares and juts your ankle more towards him. The motion makes you fall into his chest and Miguel uses one hand to properly secure you to himself, the other launching and swinging a web to the north entrance. 

You squirm and fight against him, pleading desperately for him to drop you and leave you alone. A frame of tears threatens to fall from your eyes from frustration and despair when you get put down. Miguel has to physically stop you from running back into the banquet hall once again—you put up a fight though. You thrash against him, clawing and weakly punching at his stronger arms, imploring for him to let you back inside. 

“You don’t understand—” you gasp as the remnants of the people inside flood out. Looking over his shoulder, you gaze at the exit solemnly. “Please… I need to know if he’s alright—he h-has a young daughter back at home and if anything happens t-to him—just please let me go!” you wail.

He grabs you by the shoulders forcefully and settles you down, the stream of tears falling from your eyes running his throat dry once again. Miguel has never seen you cry, or even come close to crying. Not when Gabriella forced you to watch what she considered “one of the saddest movies in existence”, not when an entire glass beaker had toppled and its shards pierced your skin, not even when Miguel had first scolded you about your many mistakes on the very first document you turned into him. 

Glassy eyes meet concerned, masked ones. Your lip trembled violently, the words all jumbled in your mouth about to spill. “Just let me check if he’s alright,” you just barely whisper.

He bores his gaze into yours as his composure does its best to upkeep him as best as possible. Miguel, from the inside of his mask, bites his lip and sighs. “I promise you, I’ll make sure Miguel gets home safely.”

“What if you don’t?” you accuse with furrowed brows.

“I’ll bring him home safe and sound,” he says firmly. “You said he has a daughter, right? I won’t let her become an orphan. I swear on my life I won’t.”

Your gaze doesn’t falter, even when Miguel attempts to soothe you by chafing the chilled skin of your arms up and down in a calming manner. Unbeknownst to you, you and him share an image of Gabriella in your minds; it brings a sting of ache to your chests.

“How can I trust you?” you ask dryly. 

“Because,” he goes to weave a string of webbing through the north entrance and takes you out into the safety of the outside. He settles you on the corner of two intersecting streets that sit nearby the building, with your tears still falling and hands trembling. A hand carefully holds your cheek and wipes away descending tears on your chalky face, Miguel ignoring the squeeze of his heart with each one that puddles on the sidewalk. 

“... I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

Spider-Man leaves you on the sidewalk idly with the blurry figures of your co-workers and other people in the company whizzing by you with no concern for anyone else other than themselves. It takes a moment for you to understand what just happened and with whom, suddenly hit with the pang of realization that you had just met the Spider-Man: the well-known vigilante protecting Nueva York from all corners, beloved by the public. Excitement can’t seem to conjure itself within you, however, your gaze still lingering on the building that Miguel was possibly in. 

A hesitant step takes you forward back to the building, but your phone vibrates abruptly from a notification from Mrs. Darcie. Word must’ve gotten out so quickly that it reached the O'Hara's neighborhood, as her text was asking if you and Miguel were alright. Your thumbs shake as you try and type up a response to let her know that you were at least alive, but you know that Gabriella wanted you both home. 

The least you could do is make sure half of that concern was eased. You were counting on Spider-Man to do the rest.

With an arm reaching out for a taxi, you rush into one and tell the driver to step on the gas, promising to tip extra. You’d be willing to give all the money you had with you if it meant that you could be with Gabriella for tonight.

You’ve underestimated the nightly rush hour this Friday night had brought upon, because there’s a sea of cars that are equally as stuck as you are amidst the road. Tangible fingers go to grip your hair frustratingly, and asking the driver to go any further was basically useless. Each minute you wasted on the same road you had been on for what was nearing twenty minutes made you more anxious by the minute. 

“I-isn’t there some sort of shortcut?” you ask the driver hoarsely. “I don’t care what roads you have to take, just please get off this one. I’m begging you. I have a child that’s waiting for me.”

His eyes give you a quick glance in the mirror, and empathy embeds itself in his equally tired eyes. He must be a father himself, you think, as he gives you an affirmative nod and swings off the road onto a much more bumpy and gravelly, but visibly less dense one.

It’s nearly an agonizing hour later off the road—it would’ve most likely reached around two or even three if you stayed on the main road—but you thankfully make it to the O’Hara’s residence. Your body moves on its own, flying out the elevator and speeding down the floor of the apartment. You burst open the door, visible sweat misted on your forehead and an ache to your limbs but all that is ignored when Mrs. Darcie greets you with relief, with a sleeping Gabriella settled soundly on the couch as her favorite TV show buzzes in the background.

She grasps you tightly by the arms. “My goodness, thank heavens you’re alright,” she murmurs quietly. “That must’ve been quite a scare… are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” you gasp out tiredly. “But how is she? Gabi, I mean… d-does she—”

Mrs. Darcie shakes her head. “She fell asleep a while ago, she doesn’t know. I just managed to get informed thanks to my son who works near the building. But where is Miguel?”

Dread floods your face once more, remembering why you left the banquet in the first place. Somehow, however, your phone vibrates and receives a text from the one and only. A loud sigh escapes your lips and you crumple to the floor as the feeling returns to your numb legs as Miguel’s texts ease your worries. 

Hey I’m alive and alright. I saw you leave earlier, hope you’re safe. I’m omw home. 

You fight the urge to burst into tears from the relief as Mrs. Darcie helps you back up. “I’m assuming that’s him,” she says gently as she encourages you to take off your heels. “What a waste of night and beautiful dress. Shame that blasted giant iguana or something had to ruin it.”

A broken laugh leaves you from her gentle humor. You glance down at the dress that the mysterious Lyla had given you tonight and sigh sadly at the many tears of the tulle and fabric. The dress looked expensive and you planned on wearing it again for formal events, but alas, fate has decided to toy with you.

“That’s alright,” you mutter as you help Mrs. Darcie gather her stuff back up so she can finally leave. “I have plenty of others to use in the meantime.”

The elderly woman leaves you inside their apartment after bidding you a goodnight to tend to Gabriella, who’s still sound asleep and oblivious to what was happening to the world and people around her. That’s a good thing, at least, you think to yourself as you tidy up the living room around her quietly. Ignorance is bliss, sometimes.

She’s still small enough that you’re able to carry her to her room even at her age and it reminds you a lot of when she was younger, when she’d pretend to be asleep so you could carry her yourself to go back to her room. Nowadays, she knows her bedtime and does it by herself, but assuming she had been waiting for you or Miguel to come home, sleep had snuck onto her as she waited and waited.

You put her down gently, hoping not to get any of the leftover debris on your soiled clothes onto her freshly-washed body. The action just barely stirs her awake, her eyes slitting open at the slightest bit. Your blurry figure just barely makes it to her senses and she grins sleepily.

A titter escapes her lips. “You look like a…” Gabriella starts, her words faltering due to a fading consciousness. 

“Like a…?” you whisper softly, a hand stroking her hair gently.

“Like a…” you can tell she’s trying to find the words in her very limited vocabulary currently, her brain threatening to shut off at any second now. “Like a princess, I think?”

You raise your brows at her description as Gabriella immediately falls back asleep. You suppose you do look much more dressed up from usual, but your cheeks tingle a hint of warmth at the comparison of literal royalty. You blame it on the drowsiness.

Your own tiredness begins to crawl up your spine as you stay by Gabriella’s side in her darkened bedroom, her quiet breaths soothing you like a lullaby. With heavy eyelids threatening to shut close at any minute, you fight the urge to give into the Sandman, insistent on Miguel’s return.

Miguel…

His name rings aloud in your mind for a moment.

Miguel…

Miguel…

“I promise you, I’ll make sure Miguel gets home safely.” 

Spider-Man’s familiar voice suddenly jolts you awake. Your brows crunch together. How on earth did Spider-Man know Miguel’s name when you merely referred to him as your boss? Perhaps he saw Miguel in the garden beforehand? Maybe Miguel had an earlier oncoming with him from before and Spider-Man just knew him from that one incident? Or… he just happens to know the names of all the citizens of Nueva York because… that’s just how Spider-Man is? 

Or, was Miguel actually Spid—you shake your head in the same second you think of such a stupid reasoning. That’s impossible…

… you know in your heart that it just is.

Any reason that you attempt to give, you think of it as either obnoxious or just simply impossible. Maybe you did let it slip that your boss’s name was Miguel… that just seems like the most plausible reason. After all, your adrenaline was at an all-time high and you could barely remember what had happened before the takeover, let alone the conversations you had. 

Whatever it was, it was going to bring Miguel back home, and that’s what ultimately had mattered in the end. It probably wasn’t even your business to prod around.

At Gabriella’s visible sleeping state, you stand up and start to head towards the bathroom to fix yourself up, but the sound of the master bedroom’s window suddenly shuffling open makes your nerves electrify. Miguel’s bedroom sat just right next to Gabriella’s, and it was also the bedroom that was nearest to the complex’s fire escape, so a break-in at this time of night was highly plausible. 

Grabbing one of the displayed metal baseball bats on the wall, you turn off Gabriella’s lights and lock the door behind, ensuring her safety first before yours. You’re careful to tiptoe around the more creaky parts of the floorboards, desperate to make yourself not seen by the intruder as you step closer and closer to Miguel’s bedroom. The door is just barely ajar, and the lights are on. A distinct shuffling, bed springs, and a masculine groan echo from the crack of the doorway and when all is silent from the other side of the door, you make your move and burst in, ready to swing at whoever threatens the O’Hara residence.

The bat is suddenly grabbed from your hands from a familiar neon orange webbing and thrusted to the side of the room, where it thunks against the wall and falls limply. You gasp aloud and with nothing to defend yourself with, you look up with fear in your eyes that suddenly turn to shock from the sight in front of you.

There, standing in the same blue and red vinyl suit you had crossed paths with earlier, without its mask completing the look… and thus, exposing the face of the man you had been waiting for to come back home to you. 

a/n ; second to last part to this mini-series and once again, i apologize for this nearly six-month delay, last semester was rough for uni. almost made this into two parts, but i felt like they just belonged together and i quite like the blend of them together.

thanks for the patience for those who stuck around and have waited far too long for this, you deserve this! i'm glad to see you all again <3 thank you endlessly for reading and likes/comments/reblogs are always noticed and appreciated (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

taglist ; @secretlyrexlapis @urbimom @p1nkliquor @julesclues @averagefloydlover @apurpletrashcan @raeisthebae @mvchmp @um-well @nintendh-e @eddieslooneymoonie @deputy-videogamer @xochyw @honeybeeznuts @aspens-cove @btszn @scaleniusrm @goldenpoison @the-pan-liquid (if you'd like to be either added or removed from the taglist, please lmk! i know it's been awhile, so hi again haha)

[celestiaras]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ zali-senpai!! ]❜

ft. vezalius bandage x f! reader — krisis, nijisanji en

╰₊✧ zali is finally a senpai & gets particularly attached to a certain kouhai┊0.9k words

note: i’m not writing for the real streamer, this is a universe where they are streamers along with whatever occupation their lore follows contains: a little smut at the end!! dom zali & sub reader┊reader is part of ttt & a princess who wears a dress, innocence kink, and implied virginity loss

➤ author's note: so i came up with this idea when ttt debuted and wrote it all in one day… yeah it’s been a while. reader is a princess because… zali calling you princess and him being your prince charming… 

senpai! vezalius bandage who’s the most excited out of krisis to finally have kouhai after being considered the babies of the group for six months, now being the predecessor of the ninth wave that contained a cleric, a swordsmaster, a kunoichi, and a princess. he’s just so thrilled, already having his card in hand to buy the available welcome merch to support the newest wave and spamming his twitter with comments about how cool you all were during your introductions to the viewers.

senpai! vezalius bandage who absolutely loves it when you refer to him as such, making his heart skip a beat and the butterflies in his stomach go ballistic. sure, he feels happy when the others call him that too, but the way you say it makes him feel an emotion that’s indescribable (it’s actually a mix of horny and puppy crush, but he doesn’t know that yet). it makes heat rush to his face and dust his handsome face with a pale rose which he just blames for not being used to the honorific, causing him to get teased by his own genmates when they catch on.

senpai! vezalius bandage who always gives great advice, willing to tell you all of the embarrassing moments he had just so that you could learn from his mistakes and breaks down everything complicated so that it’s more simple to understand. he’s always there to remind you to drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest because he knows how hectic the first month of debut is. if it ever gets too much, feel free to call him whenever and he’ll help you sort it out! 

senpai! vezalius bandage who thinks you are so cute when you follow him around like a baby duckling and watch as he shows you the ropes of streaming with wide sparkling eyes, he has to stop himself from giggling at how you seem so fascinated by simple things he does daily. he’s even cooler to you because of his job as a hero who heals those in need, something that you wish you could do as a princess for the people of your kingdom. he inspires you so much to donate both time and money to charity, helping out those in need in the best way you can. 

senpai! vezalius bandage who you did your very first collab with outside of your genmates, spending the better half of the game talking about how amazing he was helping you out and how the other three were jokingly jealous at how much attention he was giving you. anyone with working eyes and ears could sense the immaculate chemistry, a ship name was created the same day and was flooded with artwork the next. you would never admit it, but you check the tag almost every single day while lying in bed and kick your feet blushing with each new post. 

senpai! vezalius bandage who knows that you have little free time between the busy debut month schedule and your normal royal duties, so he makes an effort to sneak you away for some freedom because what kind of awful person would he be if he didn’t look after the well-being of his kouhai? being a hero gives him lots of experience when it comes to sneaking around, so getting past the guards and to your bedroom window is a piece of cake!

senpai! vezalius bandage who will play the guitar and serenade you in the garden, singing love songs to get you all flustered under the moonlight. he would have never thought a gorgeous princess like you was so inexperienced in romantic situations like this, but he’s more than pleased to teach you all about the wonderful world of love your strict life has never allowed you to know. 

senpai! vezalius bandage who adores how big your eyes get and how flustered you become when he steals away your first real kiss, not the half-assed peck you received from some prince when you were little under pressure, a kiss which made your heart flutter and made you feel desired. he can’t but giggle at the way you looked like a deer in headlights and radiated warmth from how flustered you were.  

senpai! vezalius bandage who plays the gentleman and leaves it there for the moment, not wanting to rush into anything too quickly even though he could already tell you were subconsciously rubbing your thighs together to relieve the little ache the simple kiss gave you— god, you were so cute he could just eat you up. not yet though, he would leave you hanging just for tonight and take care of himself when he gets home.

senpai! vezalius bandage who can’t keep up the act for very long, not when you’re an angel descended from heaven and so close to him at all times. it takes about a week at the very least before you find yourself pinned down by him, his hands trailing up your frilly dress and his tongue shoved into your mouth exploring while he relishes your pitched little moans.

senpai! vezalius bandage who thinks you’re even cuter when stuttering out a weak “zali senpai~” while he presses you into the wall and fucks you from behind at an erratic pace, his gloved hands maintaining a strong grip on your hips to help you stay upright since your legs were on the verge of giving out under you— not stopping until you’re seeing stars and your legs are shaking so that he can carry you around afterward <3

[p3sephone]

No escape (Dark! Natasha Romanoff x reader x dark! Steve Rogers)

Summary: Natasha and Steve found a common interest, and that is you. But then you say things like you want to break up, and then escape. So, of course they take you back, and then make sure you understand the hardest way you can't really leave them.

Warnings: past non-con, physical and psychological abuse, manipulation, Natasha is a warning herself, kidnapping, drugging, future non-con implied, dark thought on reader. This is a dark story with dark themes, so minors are NOT ALLOWED, only +18. I don't own these characters.

Note: okay so, I kinda have a little thought about turning this into a serie or at least make part 2. What do you think? Anyway, any comment, like or reblog is truly appreciated. <3 Requests are open!

She didn't know what was going through her mind. It was something crazy what she had just done, and yet Natasha continued to drive towards her desolate destination while your helpless and drugged body was in the back of the seats. She had to admit, she had always been determined and rigid in her decisions, but even she wavered sometimes. Especially when it came to you. But you were so stubborn, what was she supposed to do?

You had left her. You had left her and Steve. She still remembered the conversation from days ago.

"I want to break up."

They were extremely simple words, but coming out of your mouth they were truly surreal. Natasha focused directly on you with an expressionless look, while Steve was already getting more nervous as he started to walk towards you. Natasha had always been the one who talked less than Steve: she was the one more inclined to inflict punishments and make you cry, Steve agreed with her but only when necessary.

If it were up to Natasha, you would have been locked up in that New York apartment at all hours and without the possibility of leaving. She remembered how your relationship was at the beginning: you, Steve and her. It had been born spontaneously, or rather, well, Natasha had perhaps manipulated more than a few things to ensure that the three of you ended up together and that Steve would give her more support when it came to having a firm hand on you.

If only she had had her way, those stupid words would never have come out of your mouth. Steve immediately asked the reasons and Natasha made a face of contempt at you. No, she was not willing to get into that conversation, because there was nothing to discuss: you would not have moved from there, far from them. She had to remind you that, even before Steve, Natasha had seen you for the first time. You were hers. Then the blond noticed you and Natasha didn't mind sharing with him, also because she knew she needed help in the early days because she knew we would get to this point without the right discipline.

"I don't feel good in this relationship anymore, I want… I want the life I had before." Natasha understood how uncertain you were when talking and did what she knew how to do best: manipulate you. She had manipulated you in every way, listing every single thing they had done for you, how well they treated you not only during your daily routine, but also during the nights you spent alone before.

That day she remembered that made you cry a lot, from humiliation. You felt humiliated deep down and somehow you knew that Natasha and Steve were wrong, but your body didn't have the strength to pull back from the long session of suffocating cuddles they forced you to after that argument.

Natasha remembered all of that vividly. Yet, her manipulation, her ways, even her kindness and mercy towards you hadn’t been enough to keep you confined in that apartment. Somehow that adorable head of yours had managed to find a way to escape from them. Steve was the first to discover it, and he felt mostly concern, followed by sadness and anger. Natasha knew Steve: he was a good guy, but if you pressed the right spots he became exactly like her. And Natasha didn’t need the Steve who was kind and adorable to you, she needed the other Steve, the same one you had dealt with one night when you had decided to reject them both in bed and insulted them. You had suffered some bruises and a bad headache, but Natasha remembered how well you had behaved in the days that followed.

Natasha’s mind suddenly cleared. She had done the right thing, she had followed you to that bar and drugged your soft drink, she had finally dragged you away without your dumb friends noticing anything. Oh, she would fix them later, but first she needed to teach you a lesson. She sneered wickedly. She just had to press that button. So, she called Steve. The infamous captain didn't take long to answer, looking all worried.

"Steve, I got her back. I'm taking her to our plan b, that place you know about." Natasha didn't even give him time to speak and continued in a stiff, angry voice. "Do you know where she was? She wasn't in danger. She was with her friends, in a bar and dressed in a shabby way. She had a man on her and she was completely ready for his attentions, you have no idea how she was dancing. She dressed like we always forbade her to, she drank and accepted a bag of… I don't know, but I took her out of there. I did the right thing, didn't I, Steve?"

Natasha didn't need an answer. She had actually lied: you weren't doing any of that, you were just talking to your friends and when a man approached you you politely rejected him like the beautiful little girl you are.

But Natasha had to make you understand that there were consequences if you ran away from them, and Steve would never guarantee those consequences unless she said the things he hated the most.

Natasha thought you were cute in those short, skimpy dresses, it just made her want to rip them off, Steve preferred a more conservative part. Natasha hated it when anyone else paid attention to you, Steve did the same. Natasha liked you when you were drunk because you couldn't remember what she did to you during that time, Steve… well, he might be lying but he actually liked you too, even if with more guilt.

"I'm coming." Steve didn't give Natasha time to say anything else, he had already hung up. The red-haired woman looked at your poor, still helpless and unaware figure in the mirror. You had no idea what was waiting for you but Natasha did, and she was going to savor every second of it. You'll never leave her again, she'll make sure of it.

[keraxxx]

Hate or Jealousy?- Part 3

pairing- oliver quick x fem! reader summary: After the other night, Oliver is getting tired of hearing his name in your mouth so he takes matters into his own hands. warnings: Smut, oral(Oliver receiving), brat taming, praising, oral fixation (implied), cursing, somnophilia(implied), not proof read wc: 1.5k A/N: Hi guys! sorry this chapter took so long to get out that is completely my fault! Hopefully you like this chapter its kinda just smut with no plot but next chapter will have more i promise. Enjoy! comment to be added to taglist

Requests are open

-

Why did you let him do that? Your head was reeling and you felt sick to your stomach for the next few days. It’s not like you didn’t want him to do that.. no. It wasn’t like that at all. But you let him manipulate you into eating all because he touched you? God how pathetic. You were mentally beating yourself up for being so stupid. You didn’t want to eat but if you stop, who knows what Oliver will do next.

You’re lying in your bed, curled into a ball, knees pulled up to your chest. You have this blank expression painted on your face, as if you’re unable to comprehend a single thing in your life. You hear a soft yet firm knock at the door. “Who is it?” You say dryly. “Farleigh.” You hum quietly and he comes in, a concerned expression painted on his face. “What’s up with you? You’ve been acting weird for the past two days.” You bite your lip as you sit up, your hair a mess yet still framing your face perfectly.

“Shut the door..” You whisper and Farleigh obeys. He walks over to your bed and sits down. “It’s about Oliver.” You whisper making sure no one in the hallways can hear. “The other night we..” You trail off and Farleigh immediately understands. “Oh.” He stifles a laugh but you glare at him and he immediately stops. “Right. Not funny, sorry. What exactly happened?”

“Well.. he like..” You shrug and look away. “I don’t know. He was all like ‘Oh, you’re gonna start eating from now on’ blah blah blah, ‘you’re just like Venetia, you’re so beautiful.’” You inhale deeply as you recall the memory. Farleigh looks at you in shock. “Well..” He exhales and looks at a wall in your room. “He didn’t like.. force you, right?” You shake your head. “I wanted to. God! He’s such a weirdo but i can’t stop myself from thinking about him..” You sigh and Farleigh raises an eyebrow. “So you like him?” He chuckles.

“No.. yes? I don’t know!” You sigh dramatically as you lay back down. “Maybe i should talk to him about it..” You whisper as you bring your thumb to your lips and bite at the skin around your nail bed. “Right.. well! I’ll leave you to it.” He says softly as he pats your shoulder once more before heading out the room. You huff as you hear the door close. You really need to talk to Oliver.

You find your way to Oliver room, walking through Felix’s empty room and shutting the door. Oliver is sitting on the bed and he perks up. “Ollie..” You whisper, staying alert of anyone near the room. “What the fuck.” You whisper yell as you stay against the door, your hands behind your back as he feel the wood door. “Nice of you to see me..” He says softly as gets off his bed, walking towards you. “I enjoyed the other night..”

His voice.. there was something he was hiding behind his seductive tone. Was he lying or being genuine? You couldn’t tell. “Shut up.” You practically barked as he got closer, inches away from your face. “Why would I?” He smirks slightly as he places his hands on your waist. “Look at you..” He says softly as he looks you up and down, tutting to himself. “Perfect even after you eat.” He snarks and your face twists into a frown. “Get off me.” You don’t attempt to push him off though.. you let his fingers dance on your curves as he looks at your body. “Do you really want me to, love?” He sarcastically frowns as you avert your gaze from his. “God I hate you,.”

“You really fucking love me.” He whispers as he moves his head in front of yours so you’re looking at him again. “I know you do.” You lock eyes with him, your bottom lip quivering. He knew he was right. Well, partially. Love was too strong of a word.. you liked him, most definitely. “Gods sake..” You mumble as you gently push him off you and open the door to leave his room.

Everything that went down was too much. You liked Oliver and he fucking knew. That’s not a good thing.. at all. Just the thought of him made your clit throb.. the sight of him. Every time you laid in the field, body completely exposed to him, you enjoyed the attention he was giving to you. At first you didn’t, but now you did. Him observing your smooth legs and looking at your exposed chest did something to you and you didn't know why. This isn't good.

"Wait Ollie-" You moan out as he kisses your thighs, slowly getting under your covers as his hands trail up underneath your white shirt. You don't know what's happening. You woke up with Oliver kissing your neck. Everything was a bit fuzzy but fuck.. it felt so good. Your hands fly to the top of his head and your back arches up slightly as he kisses your clothed clit. "Ollie wha-" You grunt softly as you look down at him between your legs, hands resting on the sides of your ass. "You have such a big mouth.." He whispers as he tuts. "You should learn to be quiet and not gossip so much like your aunt." He trails his way back up to your face and you look into his eyes nervously. "You want my cock?" You can feel his breath on your lips and your mouth opens as your about to answer but he quickly covers your mouth. "Nod." You nod eagerly and he groans as he flips you on top of him.

You lean against the backboard of your dresser and you place your lips on his, allowing yourself to taste him. He quickly rips himself off you and shakes his head. "That's not the way to keep you quiet.." He scoffs as he lifts you up slightly, pulling down his pajama shorts, revealing his plaid boxer briefs. You want to moan at the sight of his hard cock yet you don't. You have to be quiet.

Oliver nods as you look down at it, hopping off his lap and eagerly bending over the side of him to slide down his boxers. You bite your lip as his cock springs out. You look at him and he leans his head back, his eyes locked on your pretty and plump lips. "Go ahead." He ushers and you slowly wrap your lips around the head of his cock. He shivers in excitement as your warm mouth swallows him whole. "Fuck darling.." He huffs out as you bob your head up and down his throbbing hard on, collecting every drop of pre-cum.

"You're so good for me.." He grunts out as he places his hand on the back of your head. "Good.. good.." Oliver whispers to himself as he controls your head. He pushes your head down, causing you to choke and sputter around the base of his shaft. He moves your head up and you pant, your spit falling down your lips. He laughs dryly as he looks at you. "You're better when your quiet you know.." You smile as you go back to sucking his cock, feeling him throb inside your mouth was something else. You could feel yourself growing wetter and wetter by the second. You tease him, your tongue trailing from his base to his sensitive tip. He grunts and his grip on your hair tightens. You swirl your tongue around him and without giving him a break, you quickly shove him down your throat again, softly moaning at his taste.

You could feel him becoming more frantic, his breathing getting heavier and his hips bucking up into your mouth faster than before. He was so close and you wanted him.. "Darling..." he whines out as he gasps softly, his cum shooting in your mouth and you push your head down so you can swallow it all, making sure not to miss a drop. He gasps as you pull yourself from his cock with a pop. You look at him and he eagerly places his hands on the sides of your face, wanting to taste himself on your lips. Seeing him so desperate was disgusting in a way yet you liked it. He pulled away and gently wiped your mouth. He pulled your head closer, fingers tangled in your hair and you groan softly.

"We need to be careful yeah? You don't want anyone else knowing what happened between us, right?" You nod and bite your lip. "Good.." He sighs as he gets up from your bed and pulls up his pants. "Farleigh is going to tell Felix but don't worry about it. I'll handle it tomorrow." He says and you look at him. "Wait you were eavesdropping on me and Farleigh?" He turns his head over his shoulder. "I told you to be quiet." He says smugly as he walks out your room, quietly shutting the door.

What the fuck.

-

Taglist: @l-ange-maudit @trashdemon04 @hahahafucku @powellssaturn @ihaterule14 @girlypop-06 @nolovinyou

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part five: "The Wedding Day"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: It's finally the day of Foggy and Marci's wedding and you're one of the bridesmaids.

Or

You admire how handsome Matt looks in his tux while feeling sick to your stomach as a pretty bridesmaid flirts with him all day.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 3.2k

a/n: Okay, I lied, I got another one up on tumblr. Y'all, there are so many of these. For real. I feel like putting up 74 of them is going to be a bigger task than I thought. Anyway, this wedding day saga spans like three installments. You can find the list of installments that are on tumblr here. "The Wedding Night" seems to be the most loved installment on AO3 so I'm trying to get that one up next!

You took a sip of your mimosa, eyes glued to Marci in the large mirror as the hair stylist finished pinning back the blonde curls on her head while the makeup artist finished touching up her lipstick. She looked absolutely stunning–not that she didn’t always–and you and the five other bridesmaids had been dying to see her finally fully dressed in her wedding dress.

"How was dealing with the hotel mishap last night?" Karen asked you, leaning in on the couch beside you to whisper. 

You sighed, frowning down at the mimosa in your hands. Last night when you had arrived before the rehearsal dinner to check in with Matt and Karen, you'd found out that the rooms blocked out for you and Matt were adjoining rooms. Which for some reason had made you utterly nervous knowing there was only a single locked door between you and Matt for the two nights you'd be staying here. 

And it shouldn't have made any difference. It was just one locked door. Which had remained locked last night. But somehow knowing Matt was just beyond that door had made you stare at it more than you should have been staring at it last night. But the comments from one of Foggy's cousins to Matt during dinner last night about you needing ear plugs after the wedding, implying beforehand that Matt would be hooking up with someone–a perk of being in the bridal party he had joked–had only upset you further. You'd been anxiously dreading tonight, terrified you'd have to overhear Matt having sex with someone else just in the room next door. You were pretty sure that would kill you.

"It was fine," you lied. 

Karen rolled her eyes. "So naturally you're freaking out?"

You shrugged before bringing the glass to your lips, taking a sip. "I just don't want to hear his activities tonight," you mumbled.

Karen shot you a pointed look. "You know he's not going to do that tonight, right?" she asked you. "How many times do I have to tell you he's into you before it gets through?"

You sighed, shaking your head. "We're just friends, Karen," you said. 

She leaned in closer to you, her voice dropping even lower as she whispered, "But you're one of the few he's told his secret to."

"Yeah," you responded, talking out of the side of your mouth as you whispered back, "only because I'd nearly gotten myself killed looking too far into a story and he showed up to save me. It was sheerly because I have embarrassingly memorized his mouth, jaw, and voice that I'd figured it out myself. He didn't actually tell me."

Karen opened her mouth to say more, but was quickly cut off as Marci’s cousin Rosalie turned her attention on the pair of you. 

"What are you two whispering about over there?" she asked curiously, drawing the attention of everyone in the room to you both.

"It's about Matt, isn't it?" Marci called out, her knowing eyes on you in the mirror.

You felt your cheeks burn hot as your right hand fidgeted with the hem of your robe–sage green, matching each of the other bridesmaids and the same color as the dress you'd be wearing later.

"Did something finally happen?" she pressed you, her eyes widening.

"No," you answered her quickly. "Nothing happened. We're just friends, Marci, you know that."

Allison, a pretty brunette who had been friends with Marci since law school, let out an audible sigh of relief from where she was sitting in an armchair across from you. Your eyes immediately darted to her and she smiled.

"I was totally thinking you and him were together at the rehearsal last night," she explained quickly. "I had a thing for him back in law school but was too afraid to make a move. Now that I know he's available though…" she trailed off, a sly grin on her face as the girls in the room besides Marci and Karen squealed.

Your eyes landed back down on your drink, cheeks further reddening as you tried to ignore the sympathetic looks Karen and Marci were both giving you. Of course there’d be a gorgeous bridesmaid chasing after Matt all day today. Could you have expected anything less?

You followed the line of bridesmaids down the hall, the loud clattering of multiple sets of high heels echoing with each step. Foggy's laugh was unmistakable as he stood surrounded by his groomsmen all waiting for guests to finish filling into the church before the ceremony began. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight knowing how long he’d been waiting for this day. 

And then your eyes instantly found their way straight to Matt in the hallway as if drawn by an unseeable force. He was gripping his cane in one hand and smiling beneath the dark glasses currently on his face. He looked handsome with his hair slightly gelled to keep it neat–probably Foggy's doing, you thought–and his black tuxedo and black bow tie. Despite Matt matching the five other groomsmen in the same outfit, it looked infinitely better on his muscled body and your heart beat just a bit faster at the sight. With a shuddering inhale beside Karen, you tried to will the traitorous organ to relax before Matt could pick up on it. For now, if he was even paying attention, he'd surely assume it was nerves. He knew you had been anxious about having to be in front of so many people today, even if you weren't remotely the person of interest. 

As if Karen knew who you were thinking about as the pair of you headed over, she gestured her head at Matt before grinning and wagging her eyebrows at you. 'Make a move' she mouthed wordlessly. Your eyes widened, heart speeding up just a bit faster. Vigorously you shook your head 'no' in reply. 

And then you heard Allison's voice complimenting him loudly. The sound drew your attention and your heart felt like it was constricting at the sight before you. He was smiling charmingly back at her and indulging in her small talk. Your hands gripped the bouquet of white peonies and garden roses just a bit tighter.

"He won't wait around forever," Karen whispered into your ear.

A heavy weight fell around your shoulders as you plastered on a smile, turning and chatting with the bridal party around you for the next ten minutes as everyone waited for the start of the ceremony. Your eyes occasionally lingered on the way Allison's hand would find moments to reach out and grab onto Matt's forearm or shoulder. Your stomach twisted unpleasantly each time. You were grateful when the wedding coordinator for the church ushered everyone to finally pair up and line up for the processional. With a sigh and a horde of butterflies in your stomach, you headed over towards Matt.

"Hey," you greeted him with a tight smile, placing a hand nervously on his shoulder.

He said your name and you felt your heart flutter wildly in your chest. "Was wondering when you'd come say hi," he teased.

"I didn't want to intrude," you replied. "You ready?"

He smiled back at you, his mouth spreading into a cheeky smile. "I'm not the one getting married today," he joked, folding up his cane.

You laughed, rolling your eyes. "I meant to line up," you told him.

His smile never faltered as he offered you his arm. You licked your lips nervously before looping your arm through his, your hand grasping his firm bicep. 

God, he has amazing arms.

After he placed his cane on a nearby table, not needing it for the ceremony since you would be walking him in and out, you silently led him in line to where you'd been situated at the rehearsal last night. Karen looked over her shoulder from her place in front of you both, shooting you a wink that only further caused your cheeks to burn.

You felt Matt fidgeting beside you and you glanced over, spotting him removing his dark glasses one-handed. He slid them into an inside jacket pocket, smoothing a hand over it and frowning lightly for a moment. You knew he felt uncomfortable without his glasses in front of large gatherings of people, but you also knew Foggy had asked him if he would be alright having them off for the sake of photos for the important parts of the day and that Matt had happily agreed.  

You leaned over towards Matt, lightly squeezing his arm. "You look handsome, Matt," you assured him softly, hating that he even worried about how people reacted to his unfixed stare. "Don't worry."

His head turned, his sightless gaze falling fondly back on you, landing at your collarbone. A warm smile spread across his face now, his eyes crinkling at the corners. You felt your heart involuntarily stutter in your chest when he whispered back, “And I’m sure you look beautiful. No need to be so nervous.”

You ducked your head, some of your curled hair that wasn’t pinned back curtained your face at the movement. “You know I’m always nervous,” you muttered. But then you sighed, raising your head and squaring your shoulders as the processional music began. “But you’re right, no one’s going to be paying attention to me today.”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far,” he whispered back.

You didn’t respond, your eyes watching as Foggy walked his mom down the aisle to her seat, giving her a teary eyed hug before he took his place at the front of the church. And then Foggy’s brother Theo walked out with his arm linked with Rosalie’s and the line at the church entrance shuffled a few inches forward. You and Matt took two steps closer and you felt your palm lightly sweating along the stem of the bouquet as nerves swirled inside of your stomach. There were easily more than a hundred people seated in the pews staring at each couple as they walked in. Suddenly you felt a little unsteady in your heels as Karen and one of Foggy’s cousins now stood at the entrance to the church.

“Relax,” Matt’s voice came from just beside your ear. His warm breath blew over your neck as he spoke, goosebumps lightly dotting your forearms. “I won’t let you trip.”

Your hand gripped his arm a little tighter at his words as Karen and Foggy’s cousin made their way down the aisle next. You shuffled Matt and yourself to the edge of the church entrance. 

“Thanks, Matty,” you whispered back, your eyes on Karen as she gracefully strode down the aisle. “You know I’m like Bambi in heels.” 

“Just smile and focus on me,” he told you. “I’ll be right beside you.”

You glanced at Matt next to you for just one moment, taking in the sight of him smiling back at you. He looked heartbreakingly handsome and your heart squirmed inside of your chest. And then your gaze swept back to the aisle in front of you that somehow seemed vastly longer than when you’d practiced walking down it with Matt last night.

“We’re up,” you whispered to him.

You both stepped forward, slowly making your way down the aisle to the soft music the string quartet was playing. You kept your gaze focused ahead, smiling wide and paying attention to the comforting warmth of Matt along the right side of you. When you neared the front of the church you shot Foggy a grin, then turned to the right with Matt, guiding him up to stand on the step next to the groomsmen already there. Quickly you turned, making your way back towards the opposite side where the bridesmaids were standing and took your place. You exhaled a slow breath, trying to calm your nerves as the next couple began their way down the aisle. Minutes later Allison and the groomsmen she was paired with made their way down the aisle and the doors to the church were closed behind them. Your eyes darted over to Foggy where he was nervously fidgeting and shifting his weight back and forth on his feet. 

Shortly after the last couple had taken their place, the doors opened and Marci stepped out, her arm linked with her father’s. Everyone rose from the pews as she made her way down and you felt your eyes watering watching the emotion on her and Foggy’s face as they stared back at each other. For a brief moment your eyes slid their way across the church and landed on Matt; his gaze was focused somewhere around Foggy, a big smile on his face. Your heart sped up a little, taking a moment to appreciate the sight of Matt dressed like he was as he stood at the front of the church. You saw his eyes slowly shift towards you and you momentarily ceased breathing all together as your gaze quickly shifted back to Foggy and Marci. You could feel your face burning as you watched Marci’s father place her hand in Foggy’s.

The rest of the wedding ceremony was beautiful and you’d cried with Karen through the entirety of it, managing to laugh a little during some parts of the vows they’d written for each other. Foggy had pumped his fist in the air as him and Marci made their way back down the aisle as the recessional began. The pairs of bridesmaids and groomsmen began meeting up in the center and exiting the church together. When Karen began her walk back down with Foggy’s cousin, you made your way over towards Matt, his gaze already finding you before you’d said anything.

“Back already?” he teased you lightly.

You reached out, linking your arm through his offered one with a smile on your face. “You say that like you didn’t miss me, Murdock,” you teased back.

You both began making your way down the aisle with you leading Matt. After only a few steps you felt him lean in beside your ear.

“I did,” he whispered.

Heat rose to your cheeks, your smile widening a little more nervously as you walked. Not knowing how to respond to Matt’s usual teasing flirtation, you kept your mouth closed. Once out of the church, you led him back towards the table where he’d left his cane, reaching out a hand and grabbing it for him. 

“Thank you,” he said when you’d passed it to him.

You reluctantly unlinked your arm from his, fidgeting awkwardly with the bouquet in your hands. Matt slid his glasses out of his pocket, slipping them back on before he began to unfold his cane. He shot you a quick smile as he did.

“See? Wasn’t so bad, was it?” he asked.

You swallowed hard, the corner of your mouth twisting up ever so gently. “No,” you answered. “It wasn’t. Thanks for not letting me fall.”

He opened his mouth to say more, but Allison appeared beside the both of you. She placed a hand on Matt’s arm and greeted him before shooting you a friendly smile. You returned the smile, your heart aching as you turned and headed over to Foggy and Marci to offer them your congratulations as Allison began chatting with Matt behind you.

The past few hours had gone by in a blur after the ceremony. The bridal party had gone with Foggy and Marci for a while to take photos with their photographer after the newlyweds had gotten their family photos taken in the church. And then everyone had headed back for the beginning of the reception. You and Matt had walked in arm in arm to the reception, Matt spinning you on the center of the dance floor while you laughed before you led him up to his seat at the head table and then took your seat by the other bridesmaids. Dinner had passed quickly after the toasts and then you’d teared up watching Foggy and Marci’s first dance. Shortly after Marci had danced with her father and Foggy had danced with his mother, the dance floor had opened up.

You’d ended up with Karen by the open bar, downing a few cocktails before heading out onto the dancefloor for a bit. Eventually Marci had come out and the three of you had danced to a few songs, drinks in hand while loudly singing to the music. 

“We should do shots!” Marci abruptly exclaimed over the loud music.

“Marci, you sure you can even handle more to drink?” Karen asked her, brows raised.

Marci shot her a flat look which had you laughing. “I’m the bride, you’re not supposed to say no to me today, remember?” she told Karen.

“Good enough for me,” you announced.

Marci beamed, grabbing both your’s and Karen’s wrists and then dragging you both to the bar with her. As you swerved through the crowd, your eyes scanned the guests. Eventually they landed on who you were looking for. 

Matt was sitting at a table with Allison, his arm over the back of his chair, his suit coat long abandoned on the back of his chair at the head table. He looked comfortable as he talked animatedly and Allison was leaning forward, her chin resting on her hand as she laughed at whatever he was saying. You felt a little tug in your chest at the sight, your gaze darting away.

Marci asked the bartender for the drinks as you situated yourself against the counter, resting an arm along it. Your eyes were focused on the man pouring the shots, watching as he slid the three glasses forward when he had finished. The three of you each picked up a glass, raising it high.

“To you and Foggy,” you said.

“And to a long, happy marriage,” Karen added.

“And hopefully great sex tonight,” Marci blurted, knocking her glass into your's and Karen’s.

You and Karen exchanged a look and laughed before the three of you downed the alcohol. It burned as it went down. You set the glass back, your eyes unintentionally finding their way back to Matt and Allison. You couldn’t fight the way your mouth curved downwards at the sight of them still smiling and chatting at the table together. You felt Marci nudge you with her elbow and your eyes darted towards her.

“You should say something,” she told you. “Cut in. Something .”

You shook your head, your sad gaze falling on the pair again. “No,” you answered slowly, sighing. “We’re just friends, Marc. Besides, he looks like he’s having fun.”

“I also am of the mind that you should go talk to him,” Karen said. “For what it’s worth, he might just be being polite.”

You shook your head, forcing a smile onto your face. “I think I’m actually just going to step outside for a minute and get some fresh air. It’s getting pretty warm in here.”

You didn’t wait for them to respond, pushing away from the bar and maneuvering your way around the crowd and the tables. You desperately needed air and a minute to get away and clear your head.

[oph3liatlou]

— WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH?

pairing(s) - comforting!lisa cuddly x sick!reader

word count - 1,194

warnings - full sarcasm, sexual innuendos, no implied gender for reader but probably male.

proofread? - no, i��m too tired from moving 😭

note from author - my nickname from my friends is literally ‘house’, can you tell? ;)

summary - when you don’t show up for work, your boss gets concerned.

You hadn’t shown up for work that day, nor had you called in sick. Cuddy, your boss - was furious, to the point that she had actually, shown up at your house. There was a knocking and, you opened it to see your bosses face fuming. “Do you just not show up to work now?”

You were clearly sick, but that didn’t stop the sarcasm coming out of your mouth. “Wow, you look nice this evening. Is that new makeup, titled ‘bitter rage’?”

Cuddy rolled her eyes, annoyed by your sarcasm but, ignoring it as she had other things to say. “You know, next time, you could actually call in - instead of making me drive all the way over here to check in on you.”

You were quick to retort, despite your brain fog from your cold. “But that would defeat the purpose of me annoying you.” You paused to sniffle. “It’s so cool, how I can do that when I’m not even at work!” You gasped.

Cuddy scoffed, looking you up and down from where she was standing. “You’re such a child.” She muttered before continuing. “I should’ve expected something like this from you - what if patients were counting on you to be there today?”

“Don’t worry - I told them to hold off on the dying part until I get back.” You nodded with a sarcastic smile.

Cuddy’s face scrunched up in annoyance as she rolled her eyes before stepping forward, and nudging her way into your house. You closed the door in response and turned to the couch. “You know your attitude towards work is why nobody likes working with you, right?”

You covered your nose to sneeze before responding, mocking her tone. “You say that like I care.”

“Why do you think you’re still single at your age?” She said, not caring how rude she sounded.

You made your way to your couch, grumbling. “You’re still single too,” You paused. “I just like strippers.”

Cuddy frowned, not impressed by your comment - but also not surprised. “At lease I haven’t been caught in another act with some sleazy chick, on one of the hospitals security cameras. Did you forget about that?” She teased.

You stood, heading towards the kitchen to find a bottle of cold medication and taking three. “No, I just wanted the tape for later.”

Cuddy was stunned for a few seconds, but managed to regain her composure. “The nerve of you - is everything sexual for you?” She asked, following you into the kitchen.

You put the bottle back in the drawer as you chuckled. “Yeah.” You paused for a moment, looking at her and furrowing your eyebrows. “Now, are you just here to add to my pre-existing headache?”

She looked at you with a straight face, before her eyebrows furrowed and she crossed her arms. She ignored your question. “One, you’re coming back to work tomorrow. And two - as your boss and, your friend - you should really be taking better care of yourself.” She said, as her voice and expression softened.

You stayed silent for a moment, sniffling from your cold - but still looking her up and down. You cleared your throat and ruined the moment. “I should…” You agreed. “Make me some soup then!” You shuffled past her, back to sitting on the couch and flipping through the TV stations.

Cuddy looked annoyed once again. This was more entertaining than the TV. “Really? Now Im supposed to take care of you?” Her arms were still crossed. “You know, if you got a girlfriend like you always say you want - she could take care of you when your sick…make you soup.”

Despite you being sick, you smirked at her from the couch. “No girlfriends ever made me soup.” You raised an eyebrow. “You wanna start?”

Cuddy groaned, clearly not wanting to start anything with you. However, she soon let out a loud sigh and started walking towards the kitchen. “You’re such a child.” She repeated before going into the kitchen.

You heard things being moved around as Cuddy prepares to make you some soup. You didn’t say a word, but your eyes followed her around the kitchen.

After several minutes of moving in the kitchen, Cuddy came back into the living room where you were. She placed the bowl of soup on the coffee table in front of you. “It’s chicken noodle - it’s also all you had.” She said, the first part being genuine.

You nodded at her and started eating the soup - too prideful to thank her now.

Cuddy frowned slightly at your lack of acknowledgment. “I don’t want to hear you whining and complaining about your cold once you’re back to work tomorrow.” She said, clearly not letting you get away with your attitude - even though you always did.

You glanced up at her as you swallowed your soup. “Why do you think I have you nursing me back to health?” You flirted - out of habit.

You saw Cuddy’s face turn a slight shade of pink but, she waited for a moment before speaking. “I feel like I’m the only one who can take care of you.” She said, her expression a mixture of concern and annoyance.

You nodded as she sat down next to you. “You’re right.” You started before pursing your lips. “Wilson’s a terrible girlfriend.” You joked, in full sarcasm.

Cuddy sighed while looking away from you and towards the TV. She was clearly irritated. “I’m trying to be serious here,” She sighed once more, this time looking at you. “Why do I care so much?”

You look at her and stay silent before standing and taking your bowl into the kitchen. “Thanks for the soup.” You settled, not answering her hypothetical question.

Cuddy watched as you walked away into the kitchen to clean your bowl. “Don’t mention it…” She mumbled under her breath - she knew how avoidant you were. As you came back, she checked her phone - someone from work needed to see her earlier in the morning then when she’d normally come in.

“Work?” You asked gently, sitting back on the couch. She stood as if she was about to leave.

“Unfortunately.” She responded, still looking at the messages on her phone. “I have back-to-back meetings tomorrow about some hospital funding.” She said before shaking her head. “I should get home.”

You scoffed for a moment. “Sounds boring.” You paused for a moment looking at her. “Just stay here, you’re closer to the hospital and you could probably get a few extra hours of sleep.”

Cuddy looked at you, surprised by the offer. “Are you sure?” She asked, thinking about it for a few seconds. “I don’t want to intrude.” Cuddy paused with an unsure expression. But, when she thought about it - your house was way closer to the hospital and she wouldn’t have to be up so early.

You shrugged as if her choice didn’t effect you. “Yeah, whatever. I’m going to bed myself.” You paused. “There’s blankets in the closet, if you’re staying.”

And you were already halfway down the hallway to your bedroom.

[where-pain-is-so-pretty]

December Project 09

- The Boy In The Black Dress

Pairing: Joonas x Reader

Category: Angst/Hurt/Comfort

TW: Angst, Self-Hatred, Homophobia, implied/referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Bullying

Word Count: 1847

Request:

"Hello again this can be for the December thing. Joonas reaction to you ( partner) staring to quite drastically change how they look due to people not believing that they are a good fit. The partner being the complete opposite of joonas in style and how they are???? You can either make it into fluff/angst/smut. What ever you feel like ❤❤"

Requester: @biancathecool

Note: I loved the request so much you have no idea! I rewrote the story about 3x and originally didn’t want to make it into something so personal, it just happened 😔❤️‍🩹

I’m actually a bit sorry for hijacking your request to cope with some of my own struggles, but I needed that 🥺😅

Hope you still enjoy! 💜

~ male reader ~

Tears streamed down your face as you scrolled through the comment section of your boyfriend's latest post. Only days ago you had decided to make your relationship public. You had been with him for almost a year now. And he was the best thing that had ever happened to you.

The photo he posted showed the two of you, his arms wrapped around you as he kissed your cheek. You stood in front of him, happily smiling wearing a plain black dress, phone in hand to take a photo of your reflection. It was shot a few months back, in the dressing room before their show, you two wore matching make-up and nail polish. The caption simply read: "My love 🖤"

There was nothing wrong with the photo itself, but with you, at least that was what people made you believe. You were a guy, wearing a dress, make-up, and nail polish. And for some reason, it was okay that Joonas and the guys wore make-up and nail polish themselves, but it was not for their partners, at least not if they were male. It should not be that much of a problem in 2022, but it was. The comments under his post went from insults, like "faggots" to "He should have chosen a girl instead". And these were nothing compared to the disturbing headlines going through the finish rainbow press ever since you made it official. "BLIND CHANNEL GUITARIST GAY?!" "WHO IS THE GUY IN A DRESS NEXT TO BAND HOTTIE JOONAS PORKO" "WAS JOONAS PORKO FORCED INTO THIS RELATIONSHIP?"

Each comment and caption increased your self-hatred and your wish to simply eraser yourself. The post was supposed to take the weight off both of your shoulders and end the hide-and-seek. Show the world how much you loved each other. But sadly most fans did not take it well and the press made a big fuss about it to generate more clicks and views. Of course, none of this came unexpectedly and you two were prepared to get some hate and backlash, but you thought it would not hurt that much.

And maybe today was the right moment to put the black dresses down forever and start dressing like a decent man. To show those haters, that you were a good match for Joonas. You wiped away a single tear as you threw your black dress into the closet. …………………………………………………………………………

This was about a month ago, and oh you wished you were over it! You still got insulting messages or even death threats almost daily. And Joonas had people swiping into his DMs telling him to break up with you. There were weird edits on TikTok, rumors spreading over Twitter, people leaking personal information about you, and so on.

On the outside you remained strong, not wanting to make Joonas worry or feel bad or even guilty for coming out and making your relationship public. In the past weeks, he had found you more than once in bed, crying your eyes out and you were sure he was already sick of your whining.

Honestly, you were incredibly proud of him for taking the step and not making a big deal out of it, and you were even prouder to be on his side. His bandmates were supportive as well, they also were the reason why you two started dating in the first place, but was another story to tell. You were glad for him having such great friends and for you they had already become a family as well. And with these guys having your back you almost could ignore all the hate being thrown at you. That was until one day some girl attacked you at a bar, spilling her drink over you when you and Joonas were out for date night. That's when it simply got too much for you.

All this bullying made you relive your darkest memories from your childhood and school days. You had always dressed more femininely and loved to play dress up with your mother's clothes and make-up. You had been expelled more than once for violating the school's dress code. While growing up various people told you that boys were not allowed to wear dresses and skirts and that make-up and nail polish was for girls. You had been bullied over your bold outfit choices, and you could not count the times you were beaten up or had your clothes ripped and ruined.

You thought you had left these memories behind the day you moved out of your parent's house, but all this recent hate had opened up old wounds which you thought had been healed years ago.

Now you found yourself in front of your closet, searching for an outfit. You held back tears when your fingers brushed against the soft fabric of your newest dress, the one you were supposed to wear for the award show tomorrow night. Instead, you took out a suit jacket and a white buttoned-up shirt, hanging them next to Joonas' outfit. You had not worn a dress or skirt in weeks now, hoping people would stop commenting about your looks, sexuality, and relationship, but it did help, in fact, it made you feel vulnerable because now you felt like walking around without your armor.

"What's that?" Joonas appeared behind you, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts, blond curls still wet from the shower he just took. "My outfit for tomorrow." You said, trying your best to sound happy while you searched for a matching pair of pants for the jacket. "What happened to the black dress we bought?" He sounded slightly concerned lifting his brows. Him mentioning the dress brought new tears to your eyes and you swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the knot in your throat. You two had found the dress in your favorite vintage store, the day after you two had made your relationship official. Originally you had bought it to provocate people and show them an imaginary middle finger, but now you felt more like burning it, together with your whole existence. "I felt like it wouldn't fit the occasion…" You mumbled the answer into the closet, not wanting to face him and hoping he would just stop to ask questions. "Sweetheart, are you okay?" He stepped closer, lightly touching your shoulder. You did not react, still pretending to search for the pair of pants, although you had already found it. "Y/N, please look at me!" Reluctantly you turned around to him, looking at his feet instead of meeting his gaze, hiding your tears. Joonas cupped your cheeks, forcing you to lift your head, his blue eyes full of worry when they locked with yours. It broke your heart to see him like this and you wished you could pull yourself together, but a sob escaped from your throat, new tears following seconds later. Joonas brushed a few of them away, before pulling you into a tight hug. You could not hold back longer, all the negative thoughts now crashing down on you like a tidal wave. You collapsed in Joonas arms, sobbing into his naked chest, barely noticing that he carried you over to your shared bed and pulled you into his lap. His hands drew soothing circles on your back as he patiently waited for you to calm down.

You held on to him, the contact of his warm soft skin slowly helping you to get back to reality, as you buried your face in his chest. Soon your sobs turn into even breathing again. He kissed the top of your hair, causing you to slightly lift your head. His eyes were gentle on you but you could see the worry in them. And you could not help but feel pathetic for your breakdown, you should not have let it out on him. Joonas shifted and sat up against the headboard of the bed, his hands not leaving your back as he loosened the embrace to examine your face better. "Wanna talk about it?" His voice was soft, still, you could feel it vibrate in his chest. You swallow heavily, trying to find your words. "I just can't do this anymore…" He looked down at you in shock, realizing what you had just said. "Are you about to break up with me?!", the sadness in his voice almost made you tear up again. "No…I…I don't know, wouldn't you be better off without me?" you stammered out. "Hell no! It's still about what these dumb people said about us online, isn't it?" You nodded silently, not capable of answering without starting to sob again. You did not want to break up with him, but you felt you were the main reason for all his troubles and he deserved so much better than this. Joonas took both of your hands in his. "Y/N! Is that also the reason why you changed your clothing style?" He lightly squeezed your hands. "I…I didn't want to embarrass you. I didn't want to cause any more trouble." You looked down at your intertwined fingers, exhaling sharply. "You are not causing any trouble! Fuck those people and their opinions! I love you for who you are and I don't want you to change for these idiots!", one of his hands found your cheek, wiping away another tear with his thumb. "I saw how happy you were the day we bought the dress for the gala, and in these clothes, you don't look happy." He went on, gesturing to the clothes you were wearing as well as to the jacket and shirt hanging next to his. "But…" you wanted to disagree again, telling him that the press would have their eyes on you two tomorrow night, and you did not want his band's success to be overshadowed by another wave of weird headlines about his sexuality and relationship. "No buts! We are going to prove them all wrong tomorrow!"

Your vision was still blurred from tears when Joonas leaned in for a kiss, to prevent you from talking back again. Lost in the kiss, your eyes closed and you finally felt yourself relax. One last tear rolled down your cheek as you realized how much you loved him.

He broke the kiss after a while, his hand still lingering on your cheek.

"Do you think I could pull one off?" he suddenly broke the silence.

"A dress? Absolutely!", you told him instantly. Joonas was the type of guy who could wear almost anything without looking ridiculous; although Joel strongly disagreed with that.

"Can I borrow one for tomorrow?" He had a sly grin on his lips and you needed a second to understand what he had just suggested. His question made you smile, probably for the first time in a week or so, and you could feel happiness spark in your chest. "I love you so damn much!" Was all you managed to say before you pulled him in for another, more passionate kiss.

"I love you more…And now let's get you out of these clothes…"

[neowinestainedress]

shattered glasses (all distorted) | lee jeno

title: shattered glasses (all distorted) | part 1 | masterlist | playlist

pairing: lee jeno x fem!oc/reader (no name used, written in third person) | side member: jeong jaehyun, oc's brother!jaemin | mentioned: lee haechan, park jisung, lee mark, suh johnny

genre: smut, fluff, angst, yandere-ish

summary: there’s only one way to survive in a cage made of rose-colored glasses: don’t shatter the glasses, reality will be painful to accept. 

warnings: yandere behaviours, stalking, possessiveness, (a LOT of) gaslighting, love-bombing, fights, violence, implied undefined mental health issues, dark themes overall, smut, voyeurism, masturbation (implied public masturbation), overstimulation, dumbification, oral sex (f/m), unprotected sex, dirty talk, praise, degradation, mentions of anal f receiving, Jeno is not mean as in the first one, but it doesn’t mean he’s better (sigh) | this one is darker than the first one so PLEASE read the warnings and make sure nothing triggers you. Just like the first one, it has no intentions of romanticizing these types of relationships, it’s simple fiction, written to dig deeper into morally grey characters and toxic behaviours that happen even in real life. If you recognize any of these signs of manipulation in your or your friend’s relationship reach out for help.

words: 28.723k

a/n: this was a lot to write, twisted my stomach but I also loved doing it. It would mean a lot to know what you think about it with comments, reblogs or asks. Especially how you feel about the ending because I had so many different ideas in mind and yeah, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

If you click ‘read more’ you agree you consent to what you’re reading and you’re fully responsible for the media you consume.

“Hi, bunny.” 

Her face lit up when she raised it and met Jeno’s eyes. “Hi, love.” Her voice came out loudly, cheering happily as she pushed closed the door of the bar she worked at. The spring breeze ruffled her hair. “I wasn’t expecting you to pick me up.” 

Jeno smiled, leaning down to leave a peck on her lips and giving her his arm so she could intertwine it with hers. “Finished earlier and I missed you, so I thought of passing by. Also, you know I don’t like it when you take the metro.” 

She chuckled, “I’m safe, nothing bad will happen to me.” It had been by now six months since they were dating, to be more correct, since they got back together. Forgiving him and trusting him again hadn’t been easy but not even as hard as she imagined, it was like Jeno had put a spell on her and he was also really good at being forgiven. He took care of her in a way nobody else ever did, maybe too much care. 

“Everything fine?” Jeno asked when, sitting in his car seat, he quickly turned around to stare at her and saw how she was nervously playing with her fingers. 

“Yeah, just, uhm… nothing.” 

Jeno quirked a brow before starting the car, looking at the street to make sure he could get out of the parking lot, but he had no intention to drop the conversation. “What’s going on? Is something bothering you?” 

“Not really, I just… Okay, there’s a new guy at work, and I don’t like the attention he gives me.” 

Jeno almost messed up changing the gear but the tone of his voice was composed as he tried to dig deeper. “Attention?” 

She nodded, thumb trapped in her teeth as she pulled her skin hard. 

He glanced at her, “Don’t do it, you’ll bleed,” he said, grabbing her hand and intertwining it with his, placing them on the stick. “What’s his name?” 

“Oh, you don’t even know him. But it’s fine, I guess he thinks I’m single. He’s nice, though, it’s just clear he’s trying to hit,” she chuckled, smiling dumbly at the way Jeno’s hand squeezed hers tighter. But Jeno didn’t find it funny at all. 

“Of course, he doesn’t know…” The words come out in a whisper, and for a moment he thought about stopping with this bullshit of keeping her a secret. “If he keeps bothering you let me know.” 

“Yeah, but you don’t have to worry. Tomorrow I’ll tell him I’m not single and I’m sure he will stop.” 

“I hope so,” Jeno grunted, letting go of her hand, placing it on her tight, because if he held it as tight as he was holding the wheel he would’ve broken her bones. 

“Can I stay at your place?” She asked when silence fell in the car.

A soft smile crept on Jeno’s face, “Sure, to be honest, you’re always there anyway so why would it bother me today?” 

“I don’t know…” she answered, leaving the phrase pend in the air. 

“Is this again about him?” 

“Who? Jaehyun?” 

“Jaehyun? So that’s his name?” He impressed his name in his brain, with the memo of reminding himself to dig deeper into him. 

“Yeah, but I told you, you have nothing to worry about.” 

“Then what is this about?” 

“My dad, Jeno. We had another fight,” she confessed, sighing heavily, and rubbing her temples in circles. 

“Another?” He asked, holding the wheel tighter. 

“Yeah, you know, the usual. He says he wasted money on me and that I’m a failure. He wants me to pay to live at their place.” 

“Are you for real?” Jeno’s tone got scarier and she turned around to reassure him, but her smile was fake and Jeno knew exactly what her fake smile looked like. “Don’t play with me.” 

“I just don’t want to think about him. You know he always says the same things and then never does anything.” She leaned against the window pane, hoping Jeno would’ve let go. Her relationship with her father had worsened in the last months. Since Jaemin moved out and got an amazing job in a company, her humble work at the bar was something to be ashamed of. And to add to the humiliation her parents felt since she still lived with them, they also rubbed in her face that she was always out — too much for their liking, as if they ever care to worry about them or what they were doing when they were the ones always around the globe for work. 

Jeno was about to talk again but decided to keep his mouth shut, turning on the radio because he couldn’t stand the silence between them. 

But there was something bothering him, thoughts running in his brain the whole evening, running so fast that a painful headache was starting to form. He shook his head, trying to push them out, but the more he stared at her, cuddled up against him on the sofa, laughing at a joke from the tv show they were watching, the more they haunted him. 

“I think you should move in with me.” 

She blinked repeatedly, not sure if he was talking to her or maybe was saying something out of nowhere. 

“I mean it, move in with me.” 

She scoffed, shaking her head, shifting in her seat to have a better view of his face. 

“Do I even have to remind you that you still don’t want my brother to know? Or wait, nobody has to know.” 

Jeno huffed, sighing loudly. “And? Do they have to know where you live?”

She furrowed, was he being serious? 

“And what do I do? Come here without telling my parents?” 

“Just tell them you’re moving out. They don’t want you there anymore. And, it’s not like they’d come visit you anyway. You’re not Jaemin, you don’t get any special treatment.” 

She didn’t answer, gulping because yes, he was right, but why did he have this habit of being so honest? Even if he didn’t have bad intentions he always hurt her so badly. 

“Don’t do that,” he said, making her lift her gaze again. “You know they don’t care about you, not like I do,” he added, caressing her cheek, gently rubbing his thumb on her skin. “You deserve so much better, bunny.” 

She hummed before turning around to face the tv again but this time with a heavy heart. “I — I’ll think about it.” 

“I don’t understand why you always treat me like this!” She screamed, slamming the door of her bedroom, knowing that for sure her father was going to get even madder. And as expected, the door slammed open. 

“Slam the door again and I’ll kick your ass out of this house. You have no idea of all the sacrifices we had to do to build up everything we have and you are a disgrace to your family.” 

“Honey, let her be,” her mother tried to calm him down, but her husband had no intention to listen. 

“Let her be? We gave up, paid for her art school, and look at her now, working in a fucking bar. And all she does is cry. Grow up. Be at least a quarter of what your brother is and then you’ll have my respect.” 

She fell to the floor, hugging her body to try to push her father’s harsh words away but it was a trick that didn’t work anymore. It never worked, not even when she was ten, and hid under the bed, hoping the pain would go away just like that. 

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I’ll look for a better job, I’ll pay the bills, I’ll be the daughter you want me to be.” 

“You will never be her,” her father spat out before the door slammed close again. 

Her first reaction was to grab her phone and search for her boyfriend’s contact but then she stopped. Jeno would’ve told her once again that they didn’t love her and didn’t deserve her but those weren’t the words she wanted to hear. She even thought about calling Jaemin, but he had never been one to support her. He probably hated her more than her parents did. Calling her friends was off the table, they didn’t know what was going on behind closed doors and they couldn’t know. 

So the only solution was to lay on the cold floor and let tears flood her face, trying to don’t be too loud because she got on her family’s nerves even if she breathed too loudly. 

But while she laid there, she thought about what to do about her life. 

Of one thing she was sure, she couldn’t keep going on like this. 

“You feel weird?” Her best friend, Ningning, had asked her, a cute furrow on her face because she couldn’t understand what her friend meant exactly by that. 

“It’s a weird sensation, I don’t know how to explain,” she sighed, letting her head fall on the bed, watching her get ready for a night out she couldn’t go. 

“Maybe you just need to take your mind off this whole new ‘revolutionising your life’ thing,” Ningning proposed, turning around on the chair, while she applied the blush on her cheeks. “Come to the party.”

“I can’t,” she sighed, hugging the pillow. It had been around two weeks by now since she started trying to make her father happier, nothing had changed for now, but she was hoping for better results soon. She started sending her resume to different companies and was also looking for a small apartment she could afford on her own. 

“Hyuck told me Jeno will be there, too,” Ningning said, raising a brow and smirking. 

“Hyuck? Really? Are you two…?” 

“Shut up, this is not about us. Focus on Jeno, I saw the way he was looking at you the last time we went out.”

Right… Jeno. Jeno and all of her friends not knowing what was going on between them. Jeno and the break she took with him two weeks ago so she could fully focus on her life. 

“I don’t have a crush on him anymore,” she replied, sitting on the bed, looking for her phone because she wanted to make sure Jeno wasn’t going to the party with them. But then guilt took over, they had barely spoken in the past days, just a morning and night text every day and some casual checks up two days a week, that was all she could afford; he was too much of a distraction. But it didn’t seem fair to break her own rules because she was afraid of him being surrounded by pretty girls without her around. 

“Are you sure?” Ningning smirked, fixing her black dress, grinning at her friend from the mirror. 

“Yeah,” she sighed, standing up from the bed. “By the way, you look amazing, and I have to go back home.” 

Ningning smiled at the compliment but then her face turned serious, “Wait, about that feeling,” she stopped her before she could get out of the door. “My mom’s a therapist, maybe she can help you with that. You’re really stressed lately,” the blonde cooed, cupping her cheeks and leaving a peck on her forehead. “I want my cheerful baby back.” 

She chuckled, kissing her friend’s cheek before opening the door. “I’ll reach out to her if things get worst.” 

Jeno didn’t want to appear like a perverted psycho, obsessed with her, but he couldn’t understand how everything seemed to be completely fine for her. 

Why didn’t she miss him like he missed her? 

Why was she always so happy? Not that he wanted her to be miserable but wasn’t she going through some shit? So why was she always smiling? Especially with Jaehyun. 

To be completely honest, Jeno didn’t want to stare, not the first time, at least. It happened that he casually passed by the bar she worked at and saw her, giving him her back, cleaning a table that was close to the window but not enough that she could see him. A smile formed on his face, after five days he finally saw her again, soft hair pulled back into a bun by the silk rubber band he had gifted her and her delicate smile dimpling her cheek.

That was all Jeno needed to see to make his day better, right before someone else appeared in his line of sight. A man who must have been no older than four years of them, he was tall, and from the white T-shirt that hugged his body, Jeno could glimpse the outlined muscles beneath the thin fabric. Light brown hair fell softly over his forehead, long enough to cover his dark eyes if he did not move it with his hands. 

But Jeno could care less about him as a person. Why was he so close to her? Why was she laughing with him? Why was she touching him? What could he possibly have said that was so funny that she felt the need to rest her hand on his bicep and smile at him like that, tilting her head, pinching her tongue between her teeth, and scrunching her nose? 

Repressing the urge to enter by slamming the door and dragging her away from him was difficult, but after taking a deep breath he decided to leave. The blood boiled in his veins, and he could not get those images out of his mind. They ran through his mind like the end credits of a movie, something he did not want to see but his mind replayed and replayed as if it wanted to torture him.

So it was just obvious that the next day Jeno found himself there again. 

Jeno had no idea anymore about the shifts she was working, he knew what it was like to work in that bar, practically never the same routine because there was always someone with problems popping up at the last minute. But by the middle of the week, Jeno seemed to get the hang of it. 

She was working every day, all day. Excluded the few hours when she went out, presumably to go to job interviews with the agencies she had contacted. He even wondered how legal all of that was but once again, he wasn’t surprised knowing the place. 

But why?

He huffed, taking off his jacket as he died from the heat even though the car, parked in a strategic place that allowed him to see without being seen, was not started. He had discovered that parking lot a few months earlier, total causality, but he had always liked it because there was something thrilling about being able to spy on her from a distance. And luckily, it was coming in handy now. 

‘How are you doing? Everything okay at home?’

There it was; the first extra message of the week was gone and he could only hope to receive a response that would reassure him. 

But the answer was not coming, and he was beginning to lose patience, puffs of air escaping noisily from his lips as his slender fingers and feet in the black converse tapped at a pace present only in his mind. 

His nervous movements stopped when he saw her exit the bar, smiling as she held the door for someone else. 

Him. 

Again. 

His eyebrows curved as his lips rippled in an expression mixed between confusion and anger. Eyes darkening as the two leaned back against the short wall to...eat? 

Jeno’s eyes moved quickly to the watch around his wrist. 

4 p.m. 

Definitely too late for lunch.

A snack? While they laughed together? And stayed so close to each other?

“Fuck,” he muttered, wanting to roll down the window to hear what they were talking about, but to do so he would’ve had to start the car and they would’ve surely heard him. “Why the fuck does she always laugh so hard when she’s with him?”

Then he remembered that she still didn’t answer, and his fingers tightened even more firmly around the steering wheel. Only to relax when she reached for her phone to answer...

“She’s not answering?” He whispered, watching in disbelief as she said something to him before putting the phone back in her pocket and smiling once again at something he said. 

“Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Jeno had no idea who he was, but he was sure he was going to find out.

When another week had passed, she was wrecked. Not only the full shifts to make some more money were mentally and physically killing her, but that weird sensation seemed to be growing instead of disappearing. She felt constantly watched and Ningning kept telling her that it was just stress, she just needed to relax, or maybe call an exorcist because ‘you’re never sure about the people who have died inside your house and never left.’ 

But she rolled her eyes at her friend’s words, deciding that the best solution was the first. 

So she laid on her bed, luckily for her, her parents weren’t home, so she had this whole Sunday night to herself. 

The temptation to call Jeno was high. She missed him like crazy and even if she wouldn’t have called him over, maybe hearing his voice through a call was better than trying to reminisce him, his tone, his sinful words, or his touches. 

But then she decided not to. 

She had learned a lot of things in these past months, but she was still a bit ashamed of talking about this and the idea of sexting, or whatever it was called, so that stopped her from picking up her phone. 

She could use some imagination. So she tried to replicate what Jeno did. Letting her hands wander on her body, slowly, taking time to let all her nerves wake up and get drunk at the sensation. It wasn’t like getting touched by him, the goosebumps erupting from her skin weren’t even close to the ones that Jeno’s fingers provoked, but it was better than nothing. 

When the teasing got too much, not satisfying her enough, she slipped out of her clothes, laying bare on her bed, sheets crumpled at the end of the mattress as she tried to relax against the soft surface. Her fingers already knew the path, tracing down her skin by memory until they reached the spot she needs to touch the most. Fingertips circling on her clit after gathering the wetness that pooled out of her. 

Her head rolled back as her fingers quickened the pace, moving fast to reach the first climax that already made her feel better, but it still wasn’t enough. So her fingers slipped inside her with ease, pumping and curling inside of her the same way Jeno did, they didn’t reach as deep as him, and she felt like she didn’t know herself as deeply as Jeno did, but if she closed her eyes, she could see him. His body hovering over hers, one hand to keep himself up, pressing on the mattress close to her head, while the other was buried deep into her. Praising how good she was taking him, how messy she was, how desperate she was for him. Already looking wrecked just with a touch. 

“Fuck,” she moaned loudly when she came for the second time, walls clenching around her fingers and chest heaving. 

She stood there for a while, combatted between stopping there or doing more. But then her needs took over and she turned around to search for something in her bottom drawer. 

The toy Jeno had gifted her. 

She could still remember how embarrassed she was when he gave it to her, but she couldn’t deny that it had turned out useful. Not that Jeno ever left her without him for long, but during those rare occasions when they weren’t together, or when they wanted to do something different, she liked it. 

She brought it to her lips, slowly starting to suck it to get it wet, and then pushed it past her entrance, the tip stretching her out before she let it fill her completely. 

“Mhh, so good,” she breathed out, eyelashes fluttering as she moved it in and out. Legs parting more to make it reach deeper and angle it better exactly how she liked it. 

“Jeno,” she started moaning out his name, eyes closed as her brain pictured him instead, his touch still lingering on her skin, his moans filling her ears, his cock rubbing against her insides. 

“Louder.”

“Jeno,” she screamed. It was like she could hear him. As if he was right there, at the edge of the bed, staring at her, boring holes into her skin. 

“Je — Jeno,” she breathed out, so close to coming again… 

Her blood froze in her veins when a loud sound came from outside and the bushes moved. She gulped, toy falling to the side when she pulled it out so fast that she almost hurt herself. Her legs started shaking more, and this time not from pleasure, as she slowly started walking to the window after throwing a blanket on herself. She looked outside, but there was nothing, or better, nobody. She took a breath of relief, maybe it was a stray cat or the wind, it surely was that. 

But when she turned back, she saw her phone on the bedside table, forgotten while she was trying to destress. She walked to it, not even knowing why, but worrying when she saw so many texts from Jeno’s contact but her heart dropped for another reason as she scrolled through them. 

“I miss you.” 

“I know I shouldn’t text you.” 

“I know it’s hard for you but I can’t help it.” 

“I’m thinking about you.” 

“I’m thinking about you while I’m touching myself.” 

“I miss your mouth so much.” 

“are you thinking about me when you touch yourself?” 

“your fingers are not like mine” 

“I wouldn’t stop like you”

“I’d make you come over and over just with them” 

“Are you thinking about me while you pretend – 

That that toy can satisfy you like my cock” 

“what I’d give to feel you again.” 

“to have you spread like this on my bed.” 

“Moan my name” 

“louder”

“I want to hear you”

“you’re so fucking hot when you’re about to come”

She looked around in panic, holding the blanket that was covering her tighter, and ran back to close the blinds. That was just a coincidence, right? He simply missed her and masturbated thinking about her and as a mere coincidence she was doing it too. He must’ve only guessed she was fingering herself, and that she was sucking her toy before fucking herself with it. Probably he was drunk and was just ranting about how badly he missed her. 

It had to be a creepy, odd coincidence. 

She would’ve talked to him the next day. 

“I was thinking that if you need a good job maybe my dad could set you up somewhere,” Jeno proposed. They had finally met after what felt like decades, it wasn’t the type of date Jeno wanted to have — grocery wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend time with her — but it was better than nothing. 

“If my dad finds out I work for your dad he’d be even madder about it. And why would your father hire me? Because I’m your girlfriend? He doesn’t even know it. And I don’t want to get a job like this.” 

“Well, but you’re smart, I’m sure he can find a place for you.” His father was never a presence emotionally but when it came to money and favors he believed they could replace a hug or a word of comfort, so Jeno was sure he could help.

She shook her head, cancelling something from the list before pushing the kart again. 

“Thanks, but no, I’m dealing with this by myself.” 

Jeno hummed, looking at her while she searched for something on the shelves. “I miss you,” he said for the nth time. “I know why you’re doing this, I know I promised I was going to wait for you but… not seeing you at all is too much.” 

She turned around, pushing him to the side to let an old lady walk next to them. “You think it’s not hard for me? You are the only good thing I have in my life right now and I’m pushing it away to make proud of me a man that probably will never be. How do you think I feel?” 

“But that’s the point. You’re doing this for your father, not for you. When will you put yourself first and stop trying to please others? Especially him. He paid you dust all your life, and gave everything to Jaemin. You could be the Ceo of Samsung one day and it still won’t be enough for him so why are you tearing your happiness apart for him?” 

She swallowed hard, “Lower your voice, please.” 

Jeno scoffed, pushing the kart past her, and ripping the list from her hands. 

“Jeno, stop,” she said, running after him. “I don’t want to talk about this in public.” 

“Sure, or you don’t want to talk about this at all because you’re too busy licking his boots, right?” 

She stopped, feeling on the verge of tears again. “You’re supposed to be my happy place not another source of pain,” she replied, facing him and glaring at him. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized immediately, pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry, I know this is a lot for you but it gets me so mad seeing you crawl for him when he doesn’t deserve you. But at the end of the day he’s your father,” he said, pulling away, caressing her nape, “and I can’t come between you two. I’m sure you’ll make him proud.” 

She lowered her head, rubbing her hands against her arms before she started walking again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”  

“I know, I… I know you are. I promise you just until I find a better job and then we’ll get back to before.” 

“He offered you a job?” Ningning squealed, looking at her in disbelief, and shaking Yeri’s shoulders. 

“Are you sure it’s not a scam? Didn’t he just start working at your bar?” 

“He needed some money to have more safety for his and his friend’s business. But when he heard about my degree he was so happy to propose me a place.” 

“Oh, well, that’s good then. I hope it turns well for you, you deserve it.” Her friend cheered, finally happy she could stop stressing over work. 

“Yeah, and now I can also finally spend more time with J — with you, I had missed you so much.” 

“Talking about that,” Ningning said, a grin curling her lips, “Hyuck’s throwing a night at his place. He told me to bring some friends.” 

“Oh, I think I’ll pass.” 

“Weren’t you happy two seconds ago about spending time with us?” Yeri asked, pouting at her and crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“Yeah, but you know I don’t get along with his friends, we only got close to them because apparently, these two can’t stop fucking.” 

“Hey! Watch your words,” Ningning warned with a threatening pointy finger. “I’m sure it will be fun, come on.” 

“I don’t know, I’ll let you know tomorrow, okay?” 

“You can be so boring sometimes,” the blonde joked, “but it’s fine, we get it if you want to get some of the sleep you didn’t have these weeks.”

“Bunny?” Jeno answered the phone. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, never been better.” 

“Never been better? What happened?” He wanted to ask if her father died but seeing the way she reacted to critics against him it was better not to. 

“I found a job!” She exclaimed cheerfully. 

“Really? That’s amazing, bunny. What company hired you?” He should’ve gone back inside to work, but he was more focused on this. He could finally have her back. 

“Well, it’s not exactly a company,” she explained. “It’s a new business but it’s related to what I studied for. Jaehyunnie was so hyped when I casually talked about my studies that he immediately offered it to me. I had an interview this morning with his other friend that technically will be our boss when we’ll fire ourselves from here and he was so happy about me —”

“Wait, wait, wait…” he said, stopping her in her tracks. “Jaehyunnie?” 

“Oh, yeah, Jaehyun. Remember? The new guy at the bar.” 

Him. 

“And you got so close that you call him by that nickname?” 

“Yeah, I basically taught him everything, it was impossible not to get close to. He’s a really nice friend. And most importantly he gave me this job.” 

Jeno scoffed. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked, not understanding his reaction, smile dropping because she expected him to be happy. 

“No, nothing. When I wanted to offer you, my girlfriend, a job, a well-paid one, in an already started business it was a nasty way to get there with connections, but this is fine.” 

“It’s different,” she replied, her enthusiasm dying as soon as she heard his tone. 

“Oh, really, how? No wait, I know how. You let a stranger help you terribly but not your boyfriend.”

“But — but it’s what I like to do. You said that I shouldn’t have crawled for my father but do what I like.” 

“Yes, but do something that gave you an opportunity. If he had this job why would he work there?”

“It’s already a started business, they’re simply bringing it to Seoul and finally with a physical building. I thought you were going to be happy for me…” Her heart sank in her chest, this was the last reaction she expected. 

“I am, I’m so happy for you. I hope it won’t let you down.” 

“You’re not really —”

“I have to go, bye.”

When the phone shut down, she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. Grunting, she let her body fall against the bed, the sheets hollowing around her frame. She couldn’t get why he acted like this. Why couldn’t he just be happy for her? 

She thought about calling him again or texting him to explain the situation again, but she was too happy to deal with his mood swing, so she grabbed her phone again and texted Ningning instead. 

‘If you save some time to celebrate me, I’m coming to Hyuck’s place.’ 

It took Ningning two seconds to respond and making her smile again.

‘Ofc! I knew I could count on you.’ 

‘I’m sorry for the way I reacted the other day. I know how big you dream I’m afraid he might get your hopes up and you will be even more hurt, and you know why…’ 

‘Make-up dinner at my place? I’ll pick you up at 7?’ 

She sighed, watching the phone light up just when she was done getting ready for the small gathering with the others. She couldn’t lie to him, Hyuck would’ve told him if she went there, and there were high chances Jaemin was going to be there too. So one way or another, Jeno was going to find out the truth. 

‘I can’t tonight, I already have plans. Sorry.’ 

That was not the message Jeno expected to see. 

That was not a message Jeno wanted to see. 

‘Plans? With who?’ 

He typed it out calmly, but inside of him something bubbled, leg throbbing nervously as he waited for an answer that was slow to come. 

What the fuck was she doing? What games what she playing? 

‘I wanted to ask you if you went when I called you yesterday, but then you got mad and I didn’t.’ 

‘I’m going with the girls to Hyuck’s place.’ 

His body froze. 

Haechan? Since when she liked his company? And why the fuck he knew nothing about this? 

‘Is he throwing a party?’ He typed because it was the calmest question that was running in his brain as he walked to his bedroom to change into new clothes immediately. 

‘he didn’t tell you?’ 

‘well, anyway it’s just something small. And it’s also a small celebration for me.’ 

He groaned, picking up the phone and calling her. 

“Where are you?” 

“What do you mean where I am?” She answered, surprised by his tone, a mix between angry, worried and something else she couldn’t point out. 

“Where the — where are you?” He calmed down, opening the front door to jump into his car. “I’ll take you there.” 

“You don’t have to. Ning is coming, it’s the only way to don’t make her pass out.” 

“I don’t care, I’ll pick you up.” 

“You didn’t even know about the party, why can’t I go alone?” 

Jeno stopped the car, afraid he was going to get in an accident. “Now you want to go there alone? Am I getting heavy?” 

“No, I didn’t say that. But, we have to be extremely careful and we can’t be together anyway so just stay at home.” 

Jeno clenched his fist around the wheel. 

“Why do you even want to go there?” 

“To spend time with the girls,” she replied, trying to muffle the annoyed sighs that were threatening to roll out.  

“As if they will spend it with you,” he snorted. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Ningning will be all up Haechan in less than half an hour and Yeri will be kissing Mark as soon as you step inside. What are you left with? Your brother and Jisung?” 

“It’s not a party, they won’t leave to make out…” she mumbled, starting to get nervous, nervously fidgeting with the zip of her dress. 

“Why don’t you just let me pass by and I’ll celebrate you?” 

“You weren’t even happy about my job,” she replied bitterly.

“I explained it to you, please.” 

“They are here,” she replied when the bell rang, grabbing her purse, and rushing to the door. “We’ll see each other another time.” 

Jeno punched the wheel before he started driving to Haechan’s place anyway. He wasn’t going to let her go alone. 

The party, or night together, was a bit of a bummer, right at the moment she didn’t want to prove Jeno right but his predictions came true. 

Her friends had disappeared and she was left alone with her brother, Jisung and two other people she had never met. 

She was even tempted to call Jeno, find lame excuses about how the party ended sooner and spend some time with him, but she didn’t want to humiliate herself like that. Sure, Jeno couldn’t know this had been a failure. 

But Jeno knew it. He had grown up in that house and he knew all the exact spots to see inside without being caught, also helped by Haechan’s habit of keeping all the blinds open. He could see her sitting on the couch, an empty glass in hand and a fake smile on her face as she talked to Jisung. 

‘having fun?’ 

He smiled when she grabbed her phone and smiled after reading his name, but his smile dropped as soon as she locked it again and didn’t answer. 

What was she doing? Was it a way to pretend she was so caught up in the party she had no time to answer him? Smart move, he had to give that to her. 

“Can you go call them?” She asked her brother when it was getting too much, and he rolled his eyes. 

“Why do you want to ruin their fun? Unlike you, they’re having it.” 

“They can fuck when they don’t have guests at home.” 

“They’re not fucking, you would hear them,” he grinned, backed up by Jisung, “but fine, I’ll go call them.” 

As soon as he left she grabbed her phone again, a small smile on her face while she answered Jeno’s texts. 

‘yep, it’s chill but nice. I missed the girls.’ 

‘and you?’ 

He smirked, shaking his head, before bringing it on her again, nervously scratching her neck and looking around. She was so out of place, he would’ve never got why she tried so hard to fit in them. 

‘like shit without you|’

‘like shit|’

‘like|’ 

‘going to sleep soon.’ 

‘can we see each other tomorrow? fix this like adults?’ 

But her answer never came since the girls came back downstairs and her phone slipped into the back of her mind. And Jeno almost hit the window with a punch, he didn’t like how easy it was for her to push him in the back of her mind. 

“This room is so expensive; you spoil me too much.” The suite they were staying in for the weekend was luxurious, she had no idea how much Jeno had spent on it, but it was surely more than she could imagine, and for now, even afford. 

“Had to have you all to myself for a few days,” he replied, grabbing the bottle of champagne and winking at her. 

“I basically moved in with you.” She walked closer to him, sitting on the big crème armchair, watching attentively as he poured the alcohol into the flutes. 

“Basically, but not officially,” he reminded her, eyebrows raising, and a hint of bitterness in the tone of his voice. “Also, your new job is taking you away from me.” 

The laugh that rolled out of her mouth was carefree, but Jeno found it slightly annoying, he wasn’t kidding. The hours of her shifts were weird, and never the same, even if they wanted to, they couldn’t plan anything during the week. 

“So, that’s why you’re taking me away? This is like the third weekend we spent traveling around.” 

Jeno hummed, sitting on the armrest before handing her one of the two glasses. “Don’t you love it? You have me all to yourself for two days straight,” he said, caressing her cheek, before his hand moved down her neck, making her close her eyes at the tickling touch. “No work,” he whispered, taking a gulp of champagne and kissing her, passing the liquid into her mouth, making her squirm and moan once she swallowed. “No annoying father,” he added, kissing her again, tongue playing with hers. “No worries,” he finished, pulling away, placing the glasses on the closest table and pulling her in his arms. 

No friends. And especially no Jaehyun. He wanted to add, but those were thoughts he had to keep to himself. 

So instead of thinking of them, he laid her on the bed, he was going to make her forget about them in another way. 

“Let me take care of you,” he hummed, kissing her jawline, nibbling her earlobe, and making her giggle. “What’s so funny?” 

She shook her head, “I’m sensitive there, it’s ticklish.” 

He smiled, “Do you mind if I kiss you… here?” His lips landed on her neck, precisely on the spot between her jaw and neck, sucking it and pulling away with a loud pop. And then he moved down, kissing her collarbone. His hands promptly pulled her dress off her, revealing her body to him. “The set I got you, uh?” 

She nodded, arms covering her chest, the bralette pushing her boobs up, making her feel exposed. 

“Still hiding from me, bunny? Really?” 

“I’m not used to seeing myself in these things…” she confessed.

Jeno snickered, hand moving behind her back, unclasping it. “Off it goes, then.” 

A moan slipped loudly out of her mouth when his lips wrapped around her nipples, sucking avidly, already making her squirm at the bare touch. 

He had her in the palm of his hands, it was so easy to maneuver her. 

“Will make you feel so good bunny, you will even forget your name,” he whispered after pulling away from her with a loud sound. “Need you to be relaxed, can’t stand seeing you come home from work and be exhausted,” he whispered, moving his hand on her laced panties, rubbing his fingers on her lips, already feeling the fabric get wetter. 

“Please,” she mumbled, the word coming out muffled as she kept her lips trapped in her teeth. 

Jeno chuckled, “Please? You want that baby?” He hummed, fingers pressing harder on her clit as he moved them in circles. “Want me to turn you into a brain-empty bunny?” 

“Yes, please,” she replied, voice barely higher than a whisper, while she forced her eyes open to look at him. Chest already raising faster as he kept teasing her, moving his fingers up and down on the panties, not leaving a single inch of her sensitive zone untouched. 

“Stop squirming, baby,” he ordered, keeping her in place by pressing an open hand on her stomach. “I won’t give you more, need you to be patient.” 

“But I want you,” she pleaded, still trying to stay still and listen to his orders, but it was quite hard when his fingers felt like a mocking tease, barely grazing her and then giving her what she wanted, a back and forth that was driving her insane. 

“I know, bunny, I know, but good girls aren’t greedy, remember?”

She hummed, giving up, it was useless, he always got what he wanted anyway. 

“Come here,” he ordered, swiftly getting off the bed, and waiting for her to follow. “Now,” he ordered when she was staring at him with a confused — slightly disappointed — look on her face. “On your knees,” he said, watching attentively as she positioned on the floor in front of him. “Oh, look at your face, bunny. Eager to suck my cock?” 

She nodded, a shy smile on her face, “You never let me do it…” she whispered, hesitantly placing her hands on his belt, waiting for his nod to start undressing him. “Sometimes I fear I’m not good at it.” 

“Oh, honey, no,” he cooed, thumb caressing her cheek, smirking when her eyes lightened up when she freed his cock from his underwear. “You’re so good, came so far from the messy girl of your first time, remember?” 

“Unfortunately,” she whispered, lowering her gaze, but Jeno cupped her face and forced her up. 

“Look at me, bunny. Keep your eyes on me when you take it all in your mouth, you can do it, right?” She nodded, tongue rolling out, waiting for him to push his tip inside. “Good bunny,” he praised, hand moving back to grab her hair and gently push her on his hard cock. “If you’re good I’ll give you everything you want. I’ll fuck you all night, baby, you want that? Yes, you do, come on, suck it.” 

In a second her head started moving back and forth, at first slowly, wetting it before she started sucking with force. 

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back, tightening the hold on her hair but not forcing her head against him, giving her complete control. “You’re so good, bunny. So fucking good.” 

The praise got to her head, ass swinging side to side as she shifted closer to him and started reaching deeper, the tip of his cock hitting her throat, nose rubbing against his abs with every thrust. She could feel she was already making a bigger mess in her panties, the way Jeno was looking down at her and how deep his moans were, almost making her come on the spot. 

And Jeno loved how concentrated she was even if she was barely holding it together, always such a good girl, his good girl. A cute furrow creating deep creases on her forehead and big eyes looking up into him.

“That’s it,” he groaned, nails grazing her neck, causing more moans to vibrate around his length. “Want me to fuck you?” He asked, dark eyes staring deeply into hers while she nodded eagerly. “Beg for it,” he ordered.

She was about to pull away but Jeno pushed her flush against him, keeping her there, looking up with confused eyes. “I said, beg me to fuck you.” 

He chuckled deeply when she gagged around him, gargling around his size while she tried to speak, “I know you can’t talk, I don’t really care, you sound so pretty with your mouth stuffed. Beg.” 

She huffed, placing her hands on his thighs to hold herself somewhere and started muffling around him, not a single word made sense and it only caused her to make more of a mess, spit drooling down her chin to the floor.  

“Fuck,” Jeno groaned, throwing his head back. “You sound so pretty when you can’t form a single coherent thought, bunny. Just a mess in my hands, aren’t you?” 

She hummed, trying to nod but the hold he had on her barely made her move. 

“Want me to fuck you dumb, bunny? Yeah? Until your mind goes completely blank?” She nodded, gasping when he pulled her away, sucking in the air in her lungs with greed. 

“Yes, please, please. I want to — want to think about nothing at all.” 

Jeno smiled, thumb brushing her lips, smearing the mix of drool and cum before he pushed it deep into her mouth, thumb pressing on her tongue, triggering her gag reflex. “You don’t gag around my cock, though,” he chuckled while pulling out, cock twitching at her already fucked out eyes. He couldn’t wait to ruin her even more. 

“Open up again for me,” he instructed, a deep moan rumbling in his chest when she obeyed with no hesitation. “I’m gonna grab the back of your neck and fuck your pretty face just how I want,” he said, pushing into her, moving slowly, making her feel the veins of his dick, and pulling out just to tease her lips with his head, “and then I’ll give you all you want,” he groaned as he pushed in, “everything you deserve.” 

Jeno wasn’t gentle, he never was when he lost his mind at the sight of her looking like a mess under him, letting him do whatever he wanted. His hips slamming with force, the lewd sounds of his balls hitting her chin, and the gargling and gagging sounds he was eliciting out of her mouth. He couldn’t last when she started squirming and he knew she was trying to squeeze her thighs to feel something. 

“Fuck, fuck, that’s it, bunny. Take my cum,” he said through gritted teeth, keeping her still against him, while he came into her mouth, so deep into her throat, she had no choice but to swallow, not that she would’ve spat anyway. 

When Jeno pulled out she finally breathed again, head low as she tried to clean the mess on her face, not really making it better since it dripped on her body even more. 

“Jeno,” she screamed when he lifted her up without a warning. 

“What? I doubt you can walk to the bed,” he joked, kissing her and lying her on the soft mattress. “You did such a great job.” 

“No-now can you fuck me?” 

He chuckled at her shyness, shaking his head as he positioned himself between her legs, fingers hooking in the band of her panties, drenched panties, to roll them down her smooth legs. 

“I promised you I would, and I always keep my promises,” he winked before his fingers slipped into her, a broken moan sticking into her throat at the unexpected intrusion. “You’re so wet, you really love sucking my cock, don’t you?” 

She started to answer but Jeno shushed her, “Don’t talk, I don’t need your words, your body is already answering me.” After a few knuckles-deep thrusts, he pulled out, cleaning his fingers on her thighs before starting to pump his cock up and down. Jeno didn’t add any more words before parting her legs more and slowly pushing in, eyes closing as he enjoyed the sensation, every time like the first time. “You always feel so good, bunny, I will never get used to you, fuck.” 

The comment made her smile, eyes rolling in the back of her head, and hips rolling up against him, it was always so much and yet never enough. It was like Jeno made her addicted to him, every time slipping under her skin a bit more, a bit deeper, just enough until there was nobody else left inside of her. 

Just like right now, his big body caging her underneath him, almost folding her in two so easily, playing with her like a chess piece. A frown on his face as he concentrated on the deep and intense strokes inside of her. 

But it was almost as if there was something different, she had no idea if the expensive room had something to do with it, or maybe it was the dinner they had before, probably the alcohol, but her body was on fire, nerves out and head already empty. 

“Jeno,” she could barely sputter out, trying hard to focus on his frame. 

“Yes, bunny, just let go,” he replied before kissing her again, hips fucking against her in a steady rhythm that was already triggering another orgasm out of her. “I want your brain empty,” he moaned. “Don’t want you to worry about anything, just — just focus on me.” His finger quickly pressed against her clit, a buzzing sensation sparkling up in her body, climax hitting before she could even do anything, leaving her gasping with eyes open at the unexpected wave of pleasure. 

Jeno didn’t stop though, he had no intention of being nice that night, he meant it when he said he wanted her brain empty. 

She could barely whine in complaint when he pulled out, swiftly turning her over, strong arms turning her around as if she was lightweight, and that only made her cunt squeeze around nothing. In a few seconds his cock was inside her again, hitting deeper and harder. 

“So pretty, bunny, so fucking pretty,” he moaned, cupping her asscheeks with rough tugs.  

“Jeno, I —”

“I told you, you don’t have to think,” he groaned. “Need to fuck you harder. Come here.” He pulled out again and lifted her up in his arms, walking around the bed. 

She wanted to ask what he wanted to do and if standing up was a smart idea but his words shut her up, he knew what he was doing, she just had to trust him. A scream rippled out of her mouth when his arms slipped behind her knees, holding them up flat against her chest while his cock slipped into her again. Her head rolled back but Jeno groaned, “Keep your head up, I want you to look at me fuck you stupid.” 

Moans and whimpers rolled out of her mouth, barely thinking he already fucked her stupid, he couldn’t do more than this. But Jeno still proved her wrong, they never tried this position before and she felt like her breath was getting caught out. It wasn’t only the position, it was the way his toned arms were flexing with the struggle of fucking her up and down on him, it was the thin layer of sweat pearling his smooth skin, it was in the way his moans and groans hit right against her ear and drove her insane. 

Jeno was everywhere, all over her, inside and outside. 

“See how pretty you are? How good your pussy’s opening up to me?” 

She shook her head, too ashamed to let her eyes meet her reflection in the mirror right where their bodies were meeting. 

“Look down, come on bunny,” he ordered, locking his fingers behind her neck and forcing her head down. 

She moaned louder, the lewd image of cum dripping down his balls and to the floor and the wet sounds caused by his deep thrusts, making her toes curl up. 

“I’m — I’m clo-close,” she whimpered, tears starting to pool at the corners of her eyes. 

Jeno wanted to tease her and tell her to hold it but he couldn’t hold it anymore, and he wanted to wear her out. So his hips started moving faster, hitting her wet spot and making her come in his arms, triggering his orgasm too. He almost fell down on the bed before he laid her down on the mattress. 

“More, please, one more,” she begged, voice hoarse and eyes shiny from tears. “Want to feel you again.” 

“My stupid bunny wants more?” Jeno cooed, fingers slipping inside her, making her shiver, pumping in and out just to tease, thumb rubbing her clit sending sparks down her body. “Want more cock? Need more cock, bunny?” 

She hummed, lips trapped in her teeth, chest heaving, and sweat rolling down her forehead. 

A grin formed on his face before he pushed inside her again, “So warm and wet, bunny. So fucking good for me.” 

A fucked out smile showed on her face but there were truly no thoughts, not coherent at least, in her brain. Too fogged by pleasure and him. 

And Jeno was getting high at the sight of her, nobody else distracting her from him. It was only them. Chants of his name the only word that came out of her plump, swollen lips, together with soft moans and cries. 

“So, pretty, you’re — fuck — you’re so, so pretty,” he groaned, pulling her closer to him, lifting her hips, hitting deeper, fingers dipping with force in the skin of her waist. “My beautiful, precious bunny.” 

The praise shouldn’t have had that effect on her and her heart but it did, because after all that time it still felt surreal that she was his, that after years of yearning she was there, in his arms, that those words and that love were for her. It wasn’t a fantasy anymore, it was their reality. 

“Jeno,” his name came out like a scream, hips rolling back, making him slip even further, causing him to growl at the sight and how much he could feel her. He was about to lose it again, his brain spinning swiftly too as he got lost in the way his cock was stretching her, slipping back and forth with quick strokes. Cum spilling out of her. “Please.” 

“Please, what? Tell me what you want. If there’s any thought left in your empty brain, bunny, tell me what you need.” 

She gasped, nails clenching around the bedding, and jaw locked while hisses rippled out. “Your — your cum, please, please, please,” she wept, tears rolling down her burning cheeks, broken sobs muffling her moans. 

Jeno’s hips started slamming faster against her ass and thighs, so fast she wondered how he didn’t leave marks on her skin. His eyes rolled back when her cunt started squeezing around him with more force, barely giving him space to pull out and fuck into her. 

“Gonna come all over my cock?” He groaned, cupping her cheek, running his hand in her wet hair, before his thumb circled her cheek, rubbing the burning hot skin. “Yeah? All empty in the brain and full in your cunt?” 

“Y-yeah, please,” her voice broke in her throat when the pleasure became unbearable, back arching forming a bow and orgasm rushing all over her body leaving no trace of sanity behind. 

The groans coming from Jeno were groggy and deep, almost animalistic, cunt incredibly tight sucking him, cock throbbing inside her while spurts of white painted her insides. “Fuck,” Jeno muttered through gritted teeth, climax dimming slowly, eyes dropping on her face, tears still rolling copiously on her cheeks and lips letting out heavy puffs of air. 

“You okay?” He asked, lips leaving wet kissing on her jaw, fingers caressing her hair while he slowly pulled out, a river of cum dripping down on the mattress. She could barely nod, eyes already shut, and a small smile on her face. Jeno grinned, kissing her lips, and pulling her close in his arms, he would’ve cleaned her later. 

“I love you so much, bunny, even more when you go dumb on me.” 

Jeno didn’t like it when she lied. And lately, it was happening too often. 

He didn’t even mind if she could feel that he was mad from the way he was looking at her, or that he seemed more distant. 

Why? 

Why was she lying? Why was she treating Jaehyun like a secret? 

“You’re home already?” He asked surprised when he heard the sound of the keys in the slot door. He knew she was home, he was staring out of the window when he saw her get out of a car that wasn’t his, and not even of their friends, and he even knew who dropped her by. 

“Yeah, finished early,” she replied, rushing to him to leave a peck on his lips. “But I didn’t want to make you run there so I came alone.” 

“Took the metro?” He asked, raising a brow, staring at her as she stretched and slumped next to him on the sofa. 

She hummed without looking at him, busy trying to grab the remote controller to turn the tv on. 

“You know I don’t like when you take the metro,” he said, trying to don’t make his voice come out like a growl. No, he didn’t like the metro, but he liked it even less if Jaehyun drove her home. And he liked it even less when she lied to him. 

“I know, but as I said, I didn’t want to bother,” she replied, leaning close to him. He glared at her, but she couldn’t see. “It was empty anyway.” 

That wasn’t the first time she lied, but it was the last straw. 

They were mostly white lies, but Jeno couldn’t understand why she felt the need to tell them. What had happened to be honest with each other? And most importantly, what did she have to hide? 

He had to act. 

“Did you hear something about crime rates being higher, lately?” She asked out of the blue, it was late during a Wednesday night but they both were still up because they couldn’t sleep. 

“Crimes?” Jeno asked, tilting his head to look at her, expecting to find her with the phone in hand, maybe asking the question after reading an article. 

“Yeah…” she replied, “Jaehyun told me that he found all the tires of his car slashed,” she sighed, thinking about what he told her that morning, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. “He was terrified, didn’t sleep all night and was still shaking when he told me what happened.” 

Jeno had to suppress the smirk that was forming on his face and replaced it with a sad pout. “Oh, that sucks.” 

Oh, that worked. 

“But no, I didn’t hear anything, if that calms you down,” he added, upper body twisting so he could look at her and caress her face. 

She hummed, smiling at him. “He was so shaken that he took a week off, and I think he went to stay for a while at a friend’s place.” 

Jeno’s face wasn’t showing the emotions that were going through his mind. But he still couldn’t get why she cared so much about him. And all that for some slashed tires? What kind of man he was? 

“Maybe some time off will be good to think,” slipped out his mouth and she quirked a brow. 

“To think?” 

“Yeah, to process it. And realize that it surely must’ve been a mistake or you know, those teenagers that have fun making trouble.” 

“Oh,” she said, only then getting what he meant. “I guess so.” 

“He’s a grown man, anyway. I’m sure he has nothing to be afraid of.” 

She hummed, moving closer to him. “But it must suck being all alone. I’m so glad I have you, I have nothing to be afraid of.” 

Jeno smiled before kissing her. 

Maybe sanity was starting to fill her brain again. 

No, bunny, you have nothing to be afraid of as long as you have me.

“How do I look?” She asked swirling around, showing off the thigh-length pink dress. 

“Beautiful, bunny. Where are you going?” 

“To the disco, the Kaleido.” 

“There?” He asked, a furrow on his face.

“Why?” 

“Oh, nothing, not a big fan of that place,” he said, showing nonchalance, sure, not happy about her night out but also too lost in the way she looked. 

“You’ll start drooling if you keep looking at me like that,” she joked, drifting her eyes away from his intense gaze. It was the look he had on his face when he wanted to fuck her and she couldn’t say no to that look. But she really wanted to go out with her friends, she couldn’t let him keep her at home. 

“You look amazing in that dress,” Jeno hummed like a melody, getting up from the couch and hugging her. “But I’d love to see it on the floor.” 

“Not now, Jeno,” she replied, trying to push him off, smiling at the pout that formed on his face. He almost looked cute as if two seconds before he didn’t look like a starving animal eager to eat her alive. 

“Let me at least kiss you then.” Their lips met in a heated kiss before she could say anything. His hands cupped her ass and lifted her up. 

“Jeno,” she moaned in the kiss, heart jumping in her chest because she loved when he held her like this and he was the only thing keeping her from falling.

“What?” The smirk on his face was smug and in his voice there were hints of arrogance.

“You know we won’t stop if you keep doing this.” 

“Fine,” he sighed, letting her feet meet the floor again, looking at her in awe. “You know what I’m thinking?” 

She scoffed, “How badly you want to fuck me?” 

Jeno rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “How lucky I am to have you.” 

“Stop,” she whined, pushing him away playfully, trying to calm her heart from beating so fast. She hated how pathetic he made her. Like a teenage girl hearing her first compliment from her crush.  

“You truly are the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

She turned around, eyes skimming the clock before going back on him that was sitting on the couch again. “Are you trying to win my heart to get to my pussy?” 

“I was just telling you how much I love you,” he pouted before making her sit on his lap. “One kiss before you go?” 

She leaned in, kissing him with the intention of pulling back soon after but it was like Jeno was drawing her in, and in a second her hands were in his hair while his caressed her back. She really should’ve pulled back but instead, her body turned to him and when her hips started grinding against his lap, the groan that rolled out of Jeno’s lips was the last straw that made her change her mind. 

“You’re not going anywhere tonight,” he moaned, lifting her up, and flipping her body against the couch. 

His hands were fast on her body, lifting the pink dress over her shoulders, leaving her half exposed to him. 

“Gonna give you a good reason to make you stay here every time, so you don’t even think about going in a dirty, shitty disco club.” 

Her head rolled back, ashamed at how hot she found him and his voice. Ashamed that she found him so attractive when he turned so protective. 

“Jeno,” she cried out when he wrapped his lips around her covered cunt, wetting the panties as he sucked her lips and pulled away with a loud pop. “White lace, wore this for who? Some average man that doesn’t know how to fuck you right?” 

She shook her head, trapping her lip in her teeth when he started to rub her clit through the underwear. “For you.” 

“For me?” He snickered, tilting his head to the side. “And you were going to leave me?” 

“When I — when I came home,” she whined, rolling her head back in reaction to his mouth wrapping around her again. His slick soaking the panties with every rough movement of his tongue and lips working in sync. 

“They were already wet,” he hummed against her, nose rubbing against her clit, sparking fire into her. “Should be glad I added to mess to hide how desperate you are.” 

“Nngh,” she blubbered, nails scratching the sofa, moving her feet messily to get rid of the heels so she could plant herself on the surface under her. 

“That’s it, just moan for me, no need to answer. You are desperate. Always have been, always will be.” Jeno’s fingers pressed against her entrance, the cold of the wet panties sticking to her skin making her shiver even more, adding to the teasing of her hole begging to be filled and sucks on her clit. 

“You — you’re messy,” she breathed out, looking down at Jeno and how wet she was down there. 

“I am messy?” He asked, chuckling, pulling away, ripping the panties off her before facing her cunt again. “This,” he collected the cum dripping out of her, “it’s not mine. But if you want I can add to your mess,” he smirked before spitting loudly on her clit. Her head rolled back, eyes squeezing shut and lips parting open. “I will give you that we are messy.”

No reply came from her when he restarted where he had stopped, eating her out loudly and intensely. Strong hands wrapped around her thighs and ass to keep her spread open and deep moans vibrating through her body making her stomach twitch. 

It wasn’t possible to hold back the pleasure, so strong it was almost painful as he kept torturing her clit with sucks and licks, riding the waves of pleasure until she was left hiccupping on moans and sobs. 

“Jeno,” she screamed out, hands pushing on his head to pull him away. Shame creeping on her body when he lifted his head and his chin was covered in her juices.

“Fuck, I — I need to warn them I won’t go,” she breathed hard, lifting her upper body up, and turning around to look for her phone. 

“Searching for this?” Jeno asked, pulling it from behind him where her small black bag laid. 

She hummed, shaky hands searching for her friends’ contact as soon as she could and she was about to do it if only Jeno didn’t slip two fingers inside her, phone falling badly on her chest as the grip on it loosened. 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Text your friends,” he ordered, pumping his fingers faster. “Tell them you can’t go because getting fucked is so much better than dancing with them all night. Tell them how badly you need me and my body.” 

The moan that rolled out of her lips was embarrassing, a natural affirmative response to his dirty insinuation. 

“I — I need to come up with — fuck — an excuse,” she cried, fingers typing out words before she cancelled them over and over again. 

“No excuses baby, tell them the truth. Tell them how desperate you are. Tell them how you started grinding on me like a bitch in heat.” 

“Fuck,” she moaned. Swiftly typing, ‘can’t come, period came before the due day, hurts like hell.’ 

“Did you tell them?” Jeno asked and she could feel the smirk on his face even if her eyes were closed. “No? You don’t want them to know? Want to keep this a secret all to ourselves?” 

“Yes,” she breathed out, hips jerking against his palm. “Need you.” 

“Oh, I know you do,” he cooed, pulling out to slap her clit sharply. “Dripped all over my hand, stained my new couch with your arousal.” 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, trying to say more before Jeno cut her flow of air, slipping into her cunt with no warning. “Jeno, fuck,” she cried out, eyes wide open, staring down where they met. 

“Didn’t you want this?” 

She nodded, trapping her lips so tight it started bleeding. “Yeah, yeah.” Her head rolled back since he immediately started with powerful fast strokes, pushing her legs flat against her chest, sliding into her deeply. 

“You’re so pretty when you look like a mess under me, bunny. No trace of that innocent girl you used to be,” his voice was deep, rumbling in her ears while he lowered to mark her neck. 

“Do-don’t…” 

“Don’t?” He snickered. “Don’t want me to mark you? Don’t want people to know you’re mine?” 

She mumbled no sense. 

“As I thought, it’s not your place to think, bunny. I got it. I know what’s best for you, fuck,” he groaned, sinking his teeth deep into her skin, ripping a scream out of her throat. “Gotta make sure nobody comes close to you, baby girl.” 

“I — I wouldn’t let them,” she whimpered, back arching when he started thrusting into her harder. 

“I know, you’re my good bunny, aren’t you? You know who you belong to. Who do you belong to?” 

“You, I — I — fuck — belong to you.” 

“Good bunny, good fucking bunny,” he groaned before he kissed her again, roughly and messily, pushing her legs up, hips slamming against her ass with loud sounds that resonated in the whole room. 

“Jeno,” she screamed, pleasure fucking her brain just as hard as he was fucking her physically. It was true she didn’t have anybody but him, her ex aside, but fuck, he was so good, he knew exactly what she wanted and needed. It wasn’t possible to resist it. 

“Wanna come? Already?” 

She moved her head swiftly, threads of moans slurring out of her lips as the knot on her stomach tightened incredibly hard. 

Jeno groaned, “Fuck, you’re so perfect taking my cock, bunny. So, so good for me. Come for me, come for me, do it,” he urged, rubbing her clit, making her body still as the orgasm hit her hard. “Fuck,” he growled, head falling in the crook of her neck. “Always so fucking tight and warm.” 

She didn’t reply, no more air in her lungs to emit a single sound but it seemed that Jeno wasn’t done at all. 

“Come here,” he ordered, pulling out and moving her so that her elbows were resting on the couch back rest. 

“What — what are you doing?” 

“Fucking you again.” 

“A-agai — fuck,” she gasped when his cock eased into her swollen cunt another time, pushing out a disgusting amount of cum and stretching her sensitive walls more. 

“I can’t let your night go to wasted with just one round, bunny.” 

She hummed, head falling limp in front of her, body trembling because it was the third round technically and she felt weak in the knees. She wanted to whimper how good it was, but she could only cry out moans and whimpers, the position too good, sending the waves of pleasure straight to her brain like electric shocks, knocking her out. 

“You love it when I fuck you like this, don’t you?” She hummed. “I know, bunny, I know. Feels so good, doesn’t it? Cock turning you into a brainless mess, you love not having anything to worry about.” 

“Yes.” 

Jeno slapped her ass. “Maybe I should fuck you here.” He spat, saliva dripping on her rim, thumb pressing against the tight hole. 

“Jeno, no,” she cried out, cracking her neck to turn toward him. 

“Don’t want that? Don’t want me to fuck your pretty ass?” 

She shook her head, pussy clenching when he kept pressing on it without pushing past the tight ring of nerves. “Feels wrong.” 

“Oh, bunny, no. You’re with me, it can’t feel wrong.” 

She wanted to articulate more but the thoughts weren’t even forming in her brain. Jeno surely wasn’t going to do it anyway, so she let it fall. But when she felt the tip of his thumb press in she turned around. “Jeno, no.” 

“Just my thumb,” he whispered, leaning in to kiss her. “Can you take just my thumb? I won’t even move it.” 

Her eyes moved around with rapid movements, shame creeping up on her just at the idea. And he smirked. “Oh, bunny, you think it’s too nasty?” 

She nodded, biting her lips, and drifting her gaze. 

“No, look at me,” he ordered, cupping her chin with his free hand. “It’s not nasty for me, nothing of you will push me away.” 

She blabbered something but it wasn’t a proper answer, more like another useless complain or vain try to make it make sense. 

“Let me take care of you.” When another loud spit sound filled the room, she closed her eyes, too ashamed to focus on what he was doing. Moans choking her when he pushed his entire thumb in, never stopping the hard thrusts of his hips. 

“Was it so — fuck — so traumatic?” 

She shook her head, finding it odd but not painful, somehow feeling his thumb press against her front and rub against his cock that was stretching her wide. 

“I told you, you have to trust me, bunny.” 

“I — I do,” she whimpered, voice almost gone. 

“Touch your clit,” he ordered, head rolling back when she immediately followed the instructions. “That’s my good girl, fuck. Rub it fast.” 

Their moans got louder, the pleasure doubling when she started touching herself, her walls clenching around him tighter, wetness dripping out with every move. 

“Fuck, so tight I can barely pull out of you,” he groaned, jaw clenched and head thrown back, some strands of black hair falling on his forehead. “So good, the best in the whole fucking world, bunny. My perfect girl.” 

The comment got to her head, fingers stopping for a second as it was getting harder to concentrate on anything, even if it brought more pleasure. 

“Please, wanna come,” she babbled, looking past her shoulder to glance at him. 

Jeno pulled out of her ass, grabbing her wrists and holding them together behind her back. 

“Want to come?” 

She nodded swiftly, drool dripping out of the corners of her lips, shamelessly rolling down her chin and dripping on her boobs. 

“Say thank you,” he groaned, pulling her hair back, pressing her flat against his broad chest. “Come on, babe, you can do it.” 

“Tha-thank you,” she cried, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” 

“Fuck,” he groaned, hips slamming against her ass with so much force to leave marks behind. Pace faltering when she clenched around him and came, tight walls squeezing so much they triggered his orgasm too, emptying himself into her with loud moans. 

“Oh, God,” she screamed, clenching her teeth and trying to let her head fall but it was impossible in his firm hold. Feeling another orgasm rip out of her. “Thank you, tha-thank you.” 

Jeno huffed, body collapsing on hers, pressing her against the backrest. “You’re welcome,” he moaned, kissing her shoulder and smirking when he saw her lidded eyes. “You’re so welcome.” 

“Another weekend where you won’t be here?” Ningning asked, positioning the phone better so her friend could see her and not the make-up she was applying. 

“Can you please hire me for this new job, too?” Yeri joked, coming into the frame, and pushing her blonde friend to the side. 

She chuckled, shaking her head at her friends’ antics. “It’s not with the job money.” 

“Your dad?” 

“Nope, not even him.” 

“Oh, God, you have a sugar daddy and you didn’t tell us?” Ningning squealed, sitting better on the bed, almost pushing Yeri on the floor. 

“Shut up, I just won’t be here,” she huffed, tucking her hair behind her ear. 

“Are we even sure we’re doing that bbq? It should rain on Sunday,” Yeri commented, watching the weather app on her phone. 

“It’s raining? I should warn Jeno —” She chuckled awkwardly, trying to quickly come up with something to fix her mistake, “he’s driving you there, right?” 

But her friends were already staring at her with an expression mixed with shock, curiosity and incredulity. 

“What are you hiding? Be honest.” 

“Nothing,” she replied, trying to fake her honest voice but they knew her, even if her hands weren’t in the frame they could bet their life she was pulling a hangnail nervously and her anxious nibbling on her lower lip was a giveaway she was lying. 

“Nothing my ass,” the blonde said, placing a closed fist on her hips and glaring at her. “What’s going on between you and your mortal enemy.” 

She licked her lips before sighing undefeated. “Promise you won’t tell my brother?” And those words were all it took for them to erupt in a loud cheer from the screen of their phones. And she couldn’t really resist their questions and soon she found herself explaining them everything — well, partially everything, she surely couldn’t talk about the bet. But she was finally free to rant about her story, too. It was thrilling, she only had one boyfriend all her life and it had been some time before Jeno, so she was never the one going around telling her love adventures. 

“So, he’s been spoiling you all this time and you didn’t tell us anything?” 

“He just takes me on those trips almost every weekend. It’s a nice getaway. He says it’s to stay away from everybody. Just us.” 

Her friends cheered again, complaining how they deserved someone that would spoil them so much too, and also still shocked because he was the last person they expected would treat her like that. “And wait, are you planning on moving in with him?” 

“He asked me to, but technically we’re a secret.” 

“Not anymore,” Yeri exclaimed, pointing between her and Ningning.  

“Well, yes, nobody else knows. And please, keep it like this.” 

“But why? Is this your choice or his?” 

She forced a smile on her face, the whole thing still made her quite said, but tried not to show it. “His, just because of Jaemin.” 

“I don’t think Jaemin would mind,” Ningning said, and Yeri nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t know, he’s so balked about this whole thing…” 

“Maybe you should talk to him. You make such a pretty couple, it’s a shame the world doesn’t get to see it.”��

And with the idea of maybe finally being free in plain daylight, she confessed to him that it slipped and her friends knew. Sure, she knew he wasn’t going to be happy about it, but she wasn’t even expecting this reaction. 

“What do you mean they know?” His tone was calm, scarily calm, the typical one that promised a storm. 

“They were asking why I was away again and one thing led to another and then I brought you up out of nowhere.” The smile on her face dropped when after looking into his eyes she saw they were dark and a furrow was almost connecting his brows.

“You’re fucking absurd.” 

“What? Why are you mad?” 

“Why am I mad?” He asked, a bitter, low, scary, chuckle rolling out of his lips. “You had one thing to do. We had a promise, we fucking swore to don’t tell this to anybody.” 

“They basically dragged it out of my mouth,” she tried to defend herself. “We were talking and you crossed my mind and it slipped.” 

“Yeah, you never do anything thinking about the consequences of it. First, you didn’t mean to dance with Haechan, then you didn’t mean to cut me off your life for a month, and you didn’t mean to always stay late at your job. You never mean it. You just fuck things up. You don’t think about me. And I have to act cool about it.” 

She stood there frozen, chest moving faster as she felt her pulse accelerating. “Why are you…” she stopped, shaking her head. “Okay, half of these things are not my fault or are not real. I fucked this up because I was thinking about you. They asked why I couldn’t be at their bbq and I said I was busy and then Yeri brought up that it was raining and I thought about telling you. It was a whisper but they heard and it’s not my fault you don’t even want to pretend we’re friends. Maybe like that I could’ve hidden it, I could’ve made them believe that your name crossed my mind, but do I have to remind you that people think we hate each other?” 

He snorted. “People think I hate you. Everybody knows you have a crush on me, so yeah, you could’ve found a way to turn this over. But I guess gossiping with your friends it’s better than thinking about our relationship.” 

“I think about our relationship. How is this damaging for us?” 

“Are you for real?” 

She groaned, clenching her fists hard, “Yeah, stop… stop doing this and just answer me.” 

“Your little friends can’t keep their noisy mouths shut, so guess who will find out?” 

She rolled her eyes, head moving back in an exasperated movement. “You grew up with him why are you so afraid of my brother? Are you hiding something? Are you once again hiding something from me?” 

“God dammit. You see, in every fight you do this. You always bring it there. I don’t want people to come between us. I don’t want people to speculate about me and you. I don’t want people that never cared for you to come between us just so they can drag you away from me.” 

“But he’s my brother how could he? He only would do it if he knew something about you that I don’t know about… and it wouldn’t be surprising.” The last words were supposed to be a whisper but nervousness made them come out like a bitter retort. 

“It wouldn’t be surprising?” Jeno asked, raising a brow. “Fine, you know what, tell your friends that just how they found out we’re together they find out we’re done.”

“What?” Her eyes snapped open on him, thinking she heard wrong, that a small thing like that couldn’t lead to this, but there wasn’t a sign of joking on his face. 

“You don’t trust me. You lie to me. Always. You… you don’t love me. Why do I have to be with you like this?” 

“I do, I never said I don’t. Jeno, please, don’t,” she almost screamed when he tried to walk past her. 

He sighed, crossing his arms on his chest and staring down at her. “Then why do you say those things? What would I hide from you? I do nothing but treat you like a fucking princess all day, protect you from all the shit that happens in your life, take you to pretty places to be together, and spoil you some more and you think I have something to hide from your brother, or you. Tell him,” he ordered, making her shake at the coldness of his tone and the tenseness of his jaw. “I said, pick the fucking phone up and call him.” 

“No — no,” she stuttered, backing away, feeling the tears clog her throat. 

“No?” He cooed, tilting his head. “Now you don’t want to? Why? You were so eager to let your brother know you’re dating me, what happened? This is a fucking revenge, isn’t it? He mocked you since he first found out you were head over heels for me and now you have to slap him with our relationship. That’s all I am to you. A vendetta.” 

“What? No, why would you… what makes you think that?” 

“The way you act makes me think that. The way you need constant validation from others because you can’t think with your brain. Once it’s your father and then it’s your friends and then it’s your brother. Why can’t you just enjoy what you live for yourself? Why do you want the whole world to know what you do or who you love? You need them to side with you, right? Were they happy? Were they cheering for you? Do you think they are truly happy for you?” 

She didn’t know what to say, dumbfounded by his attack of words and the emotions she was feeling. 

“They… they are my friends, I… I just wanted to share how good you make me feel.” 

He nodded dismissively. “Sure, they will always have your back, always stick up for you and support you, right? Until you do something they don’t like…” 

“They are not like that, they care about me, they were so happy for us —”

“Yeah, and how long will it take for that happiness to turn into jealousy? How long will it take before they will go around putting weird thoughts in your mind? Making fears and doubts creep in?” 

“They… they—” 

“They won’t ever do it, yeah, I know. You still can’t see who you surround yourself with,” he almost groaned, tugging his hair, irritated. 

“I… I’m sorry,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I will tell them it was a joke, you, you can… we could fight tomorrow if we go with them so they will believe me. I didn’t… I would’ve never imagined it could hurt you this bad or else I wouldn’t have done that…” Her eyes could barely look at him, even if his face had softened all of a sudden, and his shoulders had dropped while he started walking closer to her. She hated being a disappointment and it seemed that with every step she took she would hurt him.

“I’m not mad for me. I’m mad because I know my reputation and what people think of me, and I don’t want their biases to haunt you too. I don’t want their ignorance about my persona to make you fall out of love with me. I don’t want them to drift us away because we deserve each other. You… God, life has been so unfair to you and now that you have a good thing, I’m sure people will try to take it away from you. That’s why I’m so mad. That’s why I wanted you to keep this, us, a secret, your little secret that nobody could ruin and stain with their unwanted opinions.” 

She hummed, bringing her thumb to her lips and biting the skin while looking at the floor, trying to hide that and the tears that were filling her eyes to the brim. 

“Your friends might not do it, I give them the benefit of doubt, but everyone will know, and some other people will love to try to burst our bubble of happiness apart. And I don’t want it taken away from you. You deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved, so loved that… that your heart will explode with how much love you’re feeling. I don’t want people to hurt you.” 

She nodded, falling into his hold. It always ended like this. Her poison and her remedy. 

“I’m doing this for you, bunny,” he whispered, breath fanning against her hair, while his hands caressed her back. “Everything I do is to protect you.” 

There were many reasons why Jeno didn’t want to be public, but one of them was that since their friends knew about them, they were forced to go out together. He couldn’t use the excuse of hating having her so close and not being able to touch her, or kiss her, or even talk to her because technically they couldn’t even stand each other before they dated to convince her to stay at home. 

And so here he was, trying to make his way into a crowd of people, looking for her. She walked away from their booth to get drinks by now more than five minutes ago and he was starting to worry. 

“Where the fuck is she?” Jeno murmured to himself, gagging when someone hit him, sweaty bodies getting on his last nerve. “God, when I find her…” But there she was, at the bar counter, drinks in front of her while a man was talking to her. 

He stared at the scene, trying to calm himself before reacting badly. He couldn’t react there. And he was trying to, he really was. That was until the man’s hands lingered a little too close to her and his eyes bored holes into her, staring at her as if he wanted something more. Something that belonged to him and him only. 

“What the fuck do you want from her?” Jeno’s voice coming out in a growl made her jump, scooting over to give him space to move between her and the stranger. 

“We were just talking,” she replied, confused by his reaction. 

“Just talking? You just don’t see how men look at you, don’t you?” 

“Man, calm down.”

“Don’t give me that tone and don’t look at me like that,” Jeno warned, glaring at the stranger, fist clenching at his side. 

“Getting too heated up for a cheap slu—” he didn’t finish the remark, a punch hit him straight in his face, making him stumble backwards. 

“What the fuck!” The man screamed, touching his aching face in surprise.  

“You watch your mouth before you talk about her.” 

“Nobody wants to steal her from you,” the man replied, the arrogant grin on his face still there. 

“You seemed rather interested.” 

“Her ass is all out man, everyone would want to smash,” he mocked, and Jeno was about to punch him again but she pulled him away, blocking his wrist. 

“Let’s go home,” she whispered, a fight in public was the last thing she wanted to happen.  

“Yeah, go home to fuck her like she has been begging me to… if you can satisfy her.” 

She was about to tell him that she never said those things but Jeno slipped out of her hold before she could do anything. The mess that blew up was enough to make a crowd surround them, their friends included, and Jeno only stopped punching that man when Haechan, Jisung and Mark pulled him away. 

“Man, stop it! Come on, stop it,” Haechan shouted, trying to block him. 

“You know shit about what he said,” Jeno retorted, eyes fuming and chest panting. 

“We should go,” she intervened, shielding his body, hoping nobody there pulled out a phone and filmed a video if they both wanted to have their reputation intact. That was the last thing she needed to get on her father’s nerves more and disinherit her forever. “Jeno, come on, let’s go home,” she said, cupping his face to make him look at her and not at the man behind them. 

“Are you okay?” Ningning asked her, going for a hug, but Jeno’s arm came between them as he moved his girlfriend to the other side. 

“She’s fine, we’re going home,” he snarled, giving a quick glance at the others.

“You won’t even tell us what happened?” Haechan asked, shocked by the way he was behaving. Jeno never backed down from troubles but get into a fight? And for his girlfriend? Haechan had flirted with some of them straight to his face and Jeno never blinked an eye, so what the hell was going on there? 

“It’s none of your business.” And with that, they walked out of there under their friends’ shocked gazes. She could barely follow his hurried steps while she looked back and murmured apologies to her friends. 

The ride back home was silent, music blasted to shut down their thoughts. And she felt grateful for that because she couldn’t hide how scared she was at the moment. Jeno never acted like that, the punches that crashed against that man’s face were hard and full of strength and she wondered what else would’ve caused that reaction in him. 

He didn’t believe what that man told him, right? He wasn’t mad at her, too? She wasn’t sure and she was too terrified to even ask one of the thousands of questions that were tormenting her. Jeno probably had his own version of the story and would’ve never listened to hers, probably he would’ve even blamed her because at the start he had proposed to get the drinks while she waited with the girls, but no, she had to insist and now here they were. 

When the car stopped, she gulped hardly before making her way out, the slam of the driver’s door, causing her to jump in her place. Jeno didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked to the porch, broad shoulders lifted up and head low, jaw tense enough it could cut like a knife. 

She tried to don’t cry, at least to don’t sob like a child, but it was hard when the front door closed behind them and he still didn’t say a word. 

“You — you’re bleeding.” Her voice was shaking, broken by silent tears that were all clogged up in her throat. 

“I’m fine,” Jeno replied while sitting on the couch with his head low. 

So that was it? Acting as if nothing happened? 

“I didn’t tell him those things, I was trying to go back to you when he kept talking to me.” She couldn’t go to sleep with no closure, she couldn’t sleep with him by her side if she didn’t feel safe knowing he wasn’t mad at her. 

The sound that came out of his lips startled her, a laugh? A bitter sigh? She couldn’t describe it, but she couldn’t even get it because there was no reason for anything other than ‘I know, I’m not mad at you,’ to come out of his mouth. 

“If it’s not him, it’s somebody else…” Jeno whispered, head still low, lips pulled in a tight, bitter smirk that she couldn’t see — luckily she couldn’t see, or else it would’ve scared her even more. 

“Who are you talking about? I spent the entire night with you. I thought we were having fun until that happened.” 

When Jeno got up, she took a step back, heart jumping in her throat but he didn’t walk toward her, he didn’t even answer as he made his way to their bedroom. 

She took a deep breath and ran after him. Yeah, ran. Like always. Running after him like they were on a wheel, running until her feet hurt and the pain was unbearable. 

“Jeno?” 

“Leave me alone.” 

“I can’t leave you alone, I didn’t do anything, it’s not fair that we go to bed angry because of a stranger.” 

“It wouldn’t have happened if you listened to me and stayed home,” he remarked while he unbuttoned his shirt, bleeding knuckles staining the white texture. She shivered at how it seemed that he wasn’t feeling any type of pain, before her brain turned its attention to his words. 

“You’re blaming me?” Her brow quirked, and her lips twitched in a confused grin. 

“Who’s the one that always wants to go out with them? Who’s the one that hates spending some fucking time with me alone? Who’s the one that never listens to the other? I told you to stay with your dear friends and let me handle the drinks, but you had to go there, alone. Wearing that skimpy dress that had already attracted too much unwanted attention on you. But you don’t notice, you never notice anything of what goes around you. Too busy dancing and swinging your hips because you have me to protect you and you know it, but then I do, I protect you, and I am the bad guy.” 

Her brain tried to follow him, but he was saying so many things, accusing her, attacking her, defending her, loving her that she didn’t even know what to say or how to feel. 

“We — we were together, I thought you enjoyed it as long as we were together,” she mumbled the only things her brain could come up with, the only things that seemed to make sense.  

“I hate those things.” 

She blinked. He had spent his high school and college years throwing parties, how could he hate them now? But she had no time to dwell over that because his words were falling on her like a rain of arrows, attacking from any side, leaving her too astonished to actually react. 

“But you wouldn’t know. You’re too busy paying attention to your friends that barely know you. They don’t even care about you. Have you seen how they were looking at me because I defended you? They hate you. They don’t think you’re deserving of love and protection. If he said the same things to their faces they would’ve laughed and maybe even encouraged you to leave with him.” 

“Ningning would never, she was worried about me.” 

“She always drags you into these problems first, don’t you see? She convinced you to go to Hyuck’s party and didn’t pay attention to you. She makes you buy all these dresses that bring trouble. She started talking to you seriously again just so she could arrive at Haechan.” 

She stared at him, tears falling down her cheeks silently. “That’s not true. She was in China, of course, she didn’t talk to me just as much.” 

“Good, also licking her ass because licking your father’s not enough.” 

“Leave them out of this,” she tried to fight back, but all the rational thoughts had seemed to slip out of her mind. “And I’m free to dress however I want. If they look at me, they are the disgusting pervs, you can’t get mad at me.” 

“Good, next time I’ll let him touch you, call you a slut, and why not, maybe even fuck you in the middle of the club so you’re happy about it.” 

“I never said any of those things,” she cried, fingers dangling in her hair, feeling at her limit. “Can we please talk?” 

“We are talking, you don’t want to listen to the truth,” he hissed, walking past her to go out but she stopped him. 

“You’re still bleeding.” 

“As if you care about me.” 

She stared at his back in disbelief. How did a night out turn into this? 

“I love you,” she screamed, opening the bathroom door he had closed himself into. 

“Then prove it to me. You almost left me for a month, then you only focused on your job and your new little friend, and now you always spend time with our group of friends. Where am I in your life? Do I even matter anymore?” 

“I can care about you and other people at the same time, it’s not, it’s not like one thing excludes the other, please. Be fucking serious.” She got mad. Voice louder and tone firmer as she gained back some confidence. 

“See, you’re doing this again.” 

“No,” she retorted firmly. “You are doing this. You are the fucking problem. Punching a man in public knowing our families’ reputations could go in shambles, treating our worried friends like shit because you think you have some kind of control over me and then coming to our home and treating me like shit because my life doesn’t revolve exclusively around you. You are insane. Fucking sick in the head.” 

She was done. Head exploding and heart racing for the adrenaline and also for the fear that rushed down her spine when she met Jeno’s eyes. Black. Empty. Before they got back to normal. But she had no time to stay there and watch him going through his usual thousands of different changes.

Rushing back to the bedroom she grabbed her tote bag, opening the closet to put in some clothes for the night, and her phone. 

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Jeno groaned, reaching her at the front door with big steps. 

“To Ningning’s, because she cares about me unlike you!” 

When his hand wrapped around her wrist and with a swift movement he pulled her body from the door she gulped, shaking as she watched him lock the door before facing her again. 

“You’re not going anywhere,” he said. “And don’t even think that I don’t care about you! Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe you are the problem. You never really forgave me about that stupid ass bet so you lead us here. Fighting because you don’t trust me. Screaming because my love is not enough. It will never be enough for you. Tell me what should I do. Tell me what the fuck should I do to show you how much I love you? Do you want me to go to the end of the world for you? Do you want me to climb the highest mountains? Do you want me to kill for you?” 

Her breath got stuck in her throat when Jeno broke down crying, body slumping on the floor, knees cushioning the hit and head low as sobs resonated loudly through his ribcage. 

She let her bag fall to the floor before her body did the same, kneeling in front of him to caress his wet face and meet his broken eyes. 

Jeno had never cried. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, letting their forehead touch and pulling him closer. “I didn’t mean it, I was angry, I wasn’t in me. I would never think that your love is not enough, Jeno. I swear I forgave you, I trust you so much but… but all this screaming and crying and the way…” The way he talked to her. The way he twisted her words and used them against her, words that most of the time she didn’t even say. The way she never knew what to expect from him. All of that and so much more, fucked her up, but she didn’t say it. It was just a dumb fight, they were both tired and it happened. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not listening to you when you worry about me. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like I don’t love you enough. I do… I love you so much,” but I also love my friends, “I promise I’ll try to make up more time for you.” 

Jeno hummed, falling apart in her hold, letting her warmth embrace him as tears wet her clothes and the blood still rolled down his hands. 

“Let’s take a warm shower and heal those wounds,” she proposed, lifting his face, wiping away his tears, finding comfort in the way his eyes got back to normal, still sad, but there was no craziness behind them. 

So water was running over their bodies, warming them up and washing away the tiredness and the adrenaline. Her hands combed his hair, massaging them gently before she started cleaning his body too. 

“Is this scar new?” She asked when she reached his back and saw a scar she never saw before, it was a weird place, between his hip and thigh and it wasn’t too big but it looked like it had been sewed badly. 

Jeno shivered when her hands ran there. “It was an accident.” 

“An accident?” She asked, raising a brow, trying to read his expression. 

Jeno only hummed. “I’m fine, I don’t want to talk about it now.” 

“Yeah, it’s okay,” she replied and then finished in silence, but her brain still wondered there, it was an odd place to have a scar, especially if it was given by accident. What could’ve happened? 

But she was too tired to let herself get dragged in that, so after getting out of the shower and dressing up again, she prepared the first aid kit to heal his wounds. 

Jeno stared at her silently, following her fingers delicately moving on his knuckles, disinfecting the skin, cleaning the area, and then applying the band-aids with light pressure so it wouldn’t hurt. 

“You also have some cuts on your face,” she pointed out, facing him, smiling when she saw how he was staring at her. “What?” 

“Nothing,” he replied, voice still broken, coming out barely louder than a whisper. “I love you.” 

She couldn’t hide the smile that spread her lips, and her eyes briefly looked down where his now banded hands were caressing her waist. “Stop it, I have to fix these cuts on your cheeks.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” he smiled, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Just thinking how lucky I am to have you.” 

“Then don’t scare me away,” she replied lightheartedly, leaning in to kiss him after she placed the bandaid on his cheekbone. She pulled away but Jeno’s lips were on hers again, and his hands moved on her back, pressing her against him. 

“I won’t,” he whispered. “I love you so much it drives me crazy. I never felt something this strong, I never imagined I could feel something like this.” 

Her head rolled back when his lips started kissing her neck and his hips ground up against hers, the top of her pj’s falling on the floor soon after, leaving her chest exposed. 

“I’d hide you away from everything if I was sure that could never make you go through any kind of pain,” he whispered before his lips closed around her hard nipples, looking up at her teary eyes that were already staring at him.

“Then — don’t stop, don’t stop showing me what you feel for me.”

“There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to prove how much I love you.” 

“Is your sister alive?” Ningning asked Jaemin when she finally got him alone for a moment, they were hanging out like usual on Friday at their favorite place but even this time she passed. 

Jaemin raised a brow, “I guess, aren’t you her best friend?”

The blonde shook her head, wetting her lips before talking, “I am, technically, but lately she’s... it’s like she’s disappeared.”

“Disappeared?”

“Yeah,” she sighed, “she almost never answers my texts, as you can see, she never hangs out with us anymore. I mean, I know she’s happy with Jeno but... she never struck me as the type that stops hanging out with her friends when she starts dating. I know her last relationship sucked and this one is like a fairytale but to me it’s odd.”

Jaemin hummed, well, she was his sister, but he never paid much attention to know if this was true. On the other hand, Jeno was truly a dream come true to her, he wasn’t surprised if after years of drooling over him, now that she finally got him, she was so hyped that she locked herself into their golden castle, or whatever their story seemed to be. But he knew Jeno and if he didn’t find it weird for his sister to be so in love, he found it weird how Jeno was so defensive of her. He never cared. 

“Are you worried?”

Ningning took a deep breath, rubbing her temples and then meeting his eyes, “A bit, probably I’m just seeing things because I miss her but I don’t want her to isolate herself.”

Jaemin hummed, “I think she’s just very happy she can finally have him, you know how obsessed she had always been with him.”

“I don’t know... Jeno is acting weird, I’m happy for them, I swear I am, but it’s hard to believe that’s him. We all know about his past.”

Jaemin let out a loud huff, yes, he knew it better than anybody else, and Jeno was never the romantic type. 

“I can dig deeper into this if it makes you feel better,” he proposed, not really knowing why, but maybe just one talk and a beer with Jeno would've cleared their doubts. 

“I’d appreciate, I feel like I can’t reach her lately and I’m worried sick.”

“Flowers?” She asked when she saw Jeno lean against his car, waiting outside of the building where she worked. She couldn’t hide the smile on her face or the way her heart was beating. Lately, he was spoiling her with little things every day, but it still brightened up her day. 

“I saw them and thought of you,” Jeno replied, handing her the bouquet and opening the car door. “Get in,” his voice came out almost harsh but then turned sweet again, “so we can get home faster, you must be tired, right?” 

She nodded, smiling harder, thinking that he was being so sweet, not even seeing that Jaehyun was passing right behind them and was trying to greet her goodbye. She didn’t even look outside, too busy studying the pretty flowers and the scent she loved so much, noticing how prettily they were wrapped in the pink paper. 

“These are my favorites.” 

“I know,” he replied without realizing it. 

“You know?” She raised a brow, staring at him with a perplexed expression, but he was turned toward the window, focused on the street. 

“Yeah,” he coughed, “you told me.” 

She furrowed, trying to remember when, but then shrugged, she might’ve done it during one of her rants about anything and everything.  

“How was your day?” He asked, changing the topic.

“Good, me and Jae are working on a new project together, it’s tiring but exciting.” 

Jeno had to suppress a grunt. He hated the way his name, worse, his nickname, rolled on her tongue. He hated even more that she always found a way to slip him into conversations. This was about her day, not him. And he couldn’t even get what he had so special. He was bland and boring. A quick glance at his social confirmed everything he had to know about his personality after the few times he, unfortunately, had the chance to talk to him. 

“I’m sure you’ll relax at home,” he replied, forcing a smile to form on his face. “I was thinking you should seriously move in with me. Now that everybody knows, you can take all your things and set them in my place. And then we can go and buy new things for the house so it will be truly ours.” 

“Are the flowers to ask me to move in?” She giggled, still smelling their scent.

Jeno chuckled, “I popped the question months ago, bunny.” 

“Yeah, but… it’s such a big step.” It was and she wasn’t sure she wanted to make it, sure, she loved sharing a place with him but what if things didn’t work out? Her father surely wouldn’t have wanted her back, she wouldn’t have had a place to go in case of an emergency.

“Where are you always? Where am I driving to?” 

“Fine,” she gave up, rolling her eyes and huffing out a chuckle 

“When was the last time you stayed at your place?” 

“I had to go back there a few weeks ago, remember? My mom misses me.” 

“She sure does,” he replied sarcastically. 

“Hey! She’s not like my father.” 

Jeno looked at her, raising a brow. “Are you sure about it? Or maybe she pretends she cares about you just so she can control you? She never truly stood up for you, she only cares about the company’s reputation.” 

She opened her mouth to answer but shut it after, she didn’t know how to retort it, or if she could do it. 

“See,” he whispered before bringing the attention back on the road. 

“My parents don’t know about you, though.” 

“You wanted to tell everybody about me but not them? I know them already, you don’t even have to introduce us.” 

“No, but yeah, well, fuck,” she stuttered, throwing her head back. Already feeling the headache, stomachache, and tears caused by a dinner together. “I don’t want to hear my father’s remarks about me.” 

“About you?” 

“Yeah, he will joke and tell you to find something better, you have no idea of the humiliation he put me through when he met my first boyfriend. Why do you think he ran away? My father’s words about me were bigger than any kind of affection he felt.” 

“But that’s not me, my love for you won’t disappear because of your father’s jokes.” 

She sighed, looking out of the window and humming lowly. “Is dinner ready at home?” 

Jeno raised a brow, why was she changing the topic? Didn’t she believe in it?What more he had to do to prove to her that nothing and nobody would’ve changed what he felt for her? 

“There’s a surprise for you.” 

“It’s not my birthday.” 

“I know, bunny. I remember clearly all the important days, trust me. Just wanted to spoil you.” 

“Can you drop me by Jaemin?” She asked, finishing applying the lipstick and ruffling her hair to fix them in place, it was a mess anyway. 

“Your brother?” Jeno asked, coming out of the kitchen, and studying the way she was dressed. 

“Do you know another Jaemin?” She joked, turning around, smiling at him. 

Jeno shook his head. “No, it’s just odd. Do you need something?” 

“He texted me to come over, I don’t know what he wants. Probably something that has to do with dad,” she explained, but the truth was that she didn’t like the tone of the message. If everything was going well since they were public, there was a problem.

Her brother. 

Jaemin had been quite, scarily silent, if she had to be honest. Well, from what she knew. She didn’t dare to bring the topic up with Jeno, scared of whatever answer he was going to give her. 

The idea of Jaemin not even approaching Jeno to ask him to treat her right broke her heart. She didn’t want him to be jealous or overprotective, there was no reason to be anyway, but she still wanted to know that Jaemin cared she was being treated well. 

On the other hand, finding out that maybe Jaemin had snapped and they fought because of her would’ve saddened her more. She didn’t want to be the reason to come between them. 

“I can’t drop you by,” he said, “I have a meeting to be at.” 

“Oh, it’s fine. I’ll take my car.” 

“You should buy another one.”  

She rolled her eyes, “We’ve already talked, I can’t afford it.” 

“It will get you killed one day.” 

She chuckled, “You won’t get rid of me so easily. Bye, see you later.” 

Her old car in terrible condition didn’t get her killed but she kind of hoped it would’ve now that she was listening to what Jaemin had to tell her. 

“You don’t know him!” 

“I don’t know him?” Jaemin scoffed, throwing his hands up in the air. “I grew up with him, I probably know him more than I know you.” Saying that Jaemin was worried was an understatement. He had never seen Jeno act like this, but he didn’t like it. He trusted Jeno, well more or less. He trusted him when it came to himself, but he was the last person he wanted to see her sister with. He couldn’t call himself a protective brother, and probably it wasn’t his place to be worried after the way he acted for ages with her, but he didn’t like this relationship at all. And the conversation he had with Ningning was the last thing he needed to disapprove of it. 

“That’s exactly why you should leave me alone. You don’t know me. How — how can you call me up after ignoring me basically since — since forever to tell me he’s not right for me?” 

“Because he’s not. You’re more than opposite of each other, there’s… there’s no way you two can work.” 

She laughed bitterly, running a hand in her hair and pulling tightly. “We are working out.” 

“God,” he groaned. “You will always be the dumb, hopeless romantic girl that can’t see through rose-colored glasses.” 

“What are you even implying?” 

“Someone like Jeno can’t be with someone like you. He never paid you attention, what happened all of a sudden?” 

She gulped, licking her dried lower lip, and feeling a stab in the back. The bet always running in her brain like a thief ready to steal her happiness at any given moment. But Jeno loved. Jeno had truly fallen for her, it didn’t matter how it happened. They were happy, no matter how different they were. 

“He’s a player,” Jaemin sighed. “He never loved in his life and nobody ever loved him back.” 

She sniffled. “He’s… he’s not a monster. He loves me, and I love him. You can’t judge him for his past.” 

“He can’t love,” her brother snapped, pulling his hair. “And the way he acts around you scares me.” 

She chuckled bitterly, “Now you’re stepping over some lines.” 

“I’m protecting you.” 

She snorted, eyes wide in utter disbelief. “Protecting me? Where were you when I truly needed that? When your friends were laughing at me? When I was the butt of the joke? When they would bully me in the school corridors and you would pass right beside me as if nothing was happening?” 

Jaemin didn’t reply, he should’ve expected she was going to bring that up. And she was right, he was a piece of shit for that, but this was different. He had a terrible feeling in his guts. 

“You never cared about me. Not you, not our parents, nobody. I’ve always been on my own and now you want to teach me some lessons.” 

Jaemin kept quiet, only staring at her while he rubbed his temples. 

“You never cared about me, so why do it now? Why? You don’t want to protect me, you hate seeing me happy.” 

“You’re not happy, he’s tearing you apart,” he retorted. 

“I’m not slapping you and I don’t even know why.” 

“You are always together. You barely even answer your friends’ texts, he… Ningning told me he brings you somewhere every weekend. And he punched a man in a public space risking his reputation for you.”  

She started shaking, that was love. Why was it so wrong that he loved her? 

“He loves me.” 

“Everything he touches turns into ashes; he doesn’t know how to love.”

“What a shame he loves me so much, and he proves it to me every day. I deserve to be happy and he makes me happy, I won’t let you take that away from me,” she huffed, rushing to the door. “And next time, I only want to see you if we’re forced in the same room by our parents.” 

Jaehyun didn’t like Jeno. He didn’t like the way his hand wrapped around her waist so tight he suspected she had marks on her skin. He didn’t like the way words rolled out of his mouth, almost as if he was casting a spell on someone, her. He didn’t like the way Jeno looked at him, as if he was silently daring him, hating him. He didn’t even like how most of the days he was waiting outside, not even letting her have the time to say bye or chat some more after an entire day at work. 

“He’s late, there’s traffic or something,” she huffed, leaning against the wall next to him, shielding her body from the rain under his umbrella. 

“I can drop you home if you want to,” Jaehyun proposed. 

“No, he’ll get mad,” she said, chuckling but her smile dropped when she saw Jaehyun’s quirked brows. “He’s keen to come pick me up, it’s a pamper.” 

But even those words didn’t change the expression on his face. 

“Leaving you out under the rain is a pamper?” 

“He thinks I have an umbrella,” she replied. “But if you need to go I can always ask Johnny if I can get back in —”

“No,” he stopped her. “That’s not the point. I don’t mind waiting here with you. I just… nevermind.” He shrugged, looking at the raindrops splash on the asphalt in front of them. 

“No, what? It never happened before.” 

“It’s not that either. I was about to make an unrequested comment about your relationship so I kept it to myself.” 

“Oh,” she gasped. “Wait, am I the annoying person that talks about her boyfriend too much? I didn’t think I did it so often, I’m sorry.” 

“No, it’s not about you either,” he stopped, smiling tenderly at her reaction. Jaehyun found it endearing how she was always so considerate of everyone around her.  

“Hey! Don’t make fun of me,” she joked, faking a pout and nudging him with her shoulder. 

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologized still grinning. 

“But… what is that about?” After what her brother told her she couldn’t help but panic when people told her how they perceived her relationship with Jeno, but she still wanted to know if it was the same opinion. 

Jaehyun sighed, holding his purse tighter. “It’s not a nice opinion, I don’t think you want to hear it. It probably only comes from my petty, single ass,” he joked but no, it wasn’t because he was single, and petty and hated that she was taken. Jeno gave him weird vibes and he was never wrong about it. 

“You’re lying.” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Yes, you are. You’re not making eye contact with me, you do that when you’re bullshitting people around.” 

Jaehyun laughed, shaking his head. “Fine, I am, but I still think you don’t want to hear it.” 

“Is it that bad?” 

Jaehyun thought about it. If he was in a relationship he would’ve wanted somebody to open his eyes, but then he realized that wasn’t his place. He barely knew him, he barely knew them together, that was just a big accusation, no matter how real he believed it was. 

“I don’t like him,” he blurted out in an honest confession. 

“That’s it?” She asked, raising a brow. 

“No, but it’s the only thing I can tell you.” 

“What if I wanted to know everything?” 

He sighed. “Fine. He seems… a little… possessive over you. He gave me those vibes the few times he stopped by but also… also from the things you tell me. It’s like he wants to control you, always.” 

Her heart stopped for a moment. That couldn’t be true. Her brother was jealous because he hated seeing her happy and had to screw it somehow. But Jaehyun? Sure, Jaehyun liked her, at least in the past for sure, and maybe he was just mad that he couldn’t get to her so he had to hate on Jeno for no reason at all. 

It had to be that. 

“He cares about me a lot. We’re perfectly fine,” she replied, forcing a smile on her face before turning around, wanting Jeno to come pick her up as soon as possible. 

“Sure…” Jaehyun’s answer got on her nerves but she didn’t reply. 

“You know, maybe you should go. It’s Friday night, I’m sure you have things to do,” she said, moving away from him. 

“You’ll get wet.” 

“I’ll wait under that balcony there,” she reassured him before walking away, not looking back at him, missing the pity written on his face before he turned around and started walking to his car. 

But being alone didn’t help her mind don’t obsess over his and Jaemin’s words. Not even when Jeno finally arrived after more than ten minutes and they were driving home, the silence in the vehicle weighing on her chest. 

Jeno glanced over, eyes moving quickly from the road to her. “You’re off, what happened?” 

“Nothing.” 

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, voice firm even if there was a faint hint of apprehension under it.  

She sighed lowly, battling with herself whether to let it all out or not. “I talked with Jaehyun about something…” 

He raised a brow, fist clenching around the wheel as soon as he heard that name. “About what?” 

“Us.” 

“You talked to him about us?”  

She hummed, looking down, tapping her shoes nervously and playing with the seam of her jeans. “Do you… do you think we’re toxic?” 

“What?” 

“I don’t know, Jaemin told me the same thing, kinda, maybe we are… we are too close to each other.” 

Jeno clenched the wheel tighter, the same anger rising in his blood, his eyes shifting for a second before he forced himself to think straight again. 

“Or maybe people hate seeing others happy.” 

“I don’t know…” 

But trying to keep calm wasn’t easy if she acted like that, how could she let others get inside her head, and heart, so easily? “What did he tell you exactly?” 

“Nothing, just that… you’re… well, you are…” 

“I am?” He urged, losing his patience, finger tapping nervously on the gear. 

“You are…” Obsessed. Possessive. Crazy. Controlling. “…caring.” 

“Caring?” He raised a brow, studying her face, but she was avoiding him, too busy playing with a loose string of her denim pants. 

“Yeah, he thinks you care too much.” 

“He knows shit about me and us. Why don’t you tell him to mind his business, uh? I know how to treat my girl right.” 

“Yeah, I think that too,” she whispered, gulping before turning around to look at the window. 

Jeno cursed internally, knuckles white around the wheel and eyes blank. 

Jaehyun was becoming a problem Jeno didn’t put in his plan. And he was crossing too many lines. 

Jeno had to do something about it. 

She tried to stop thinking about what her brother and Jaehyun told her, just like she tried to ignore the words of her friends, whining about how little time she was spending with them. But her brain always went back there. 

Every single thing that Jeno did, felt amplified. Maybe Jaehyun was right. He did care too much. 

Maybe what she always thought to be love was an obsession. But where the hell did it come from? It didn’t make a lot of sense considering how their story started and how he never acted like this with other girlfriends. She didn’t know much about his past stories, but she knew enough to know that Jeno never cared that much about someone. He never acted like this with anybody else. And if at the start it seemed like a fairytale, she started to suspect it wasn’t. 

She shouldn’t have felt like a thief in her own house but that was what she felt as she tried to look for more clues around the place. But she couldn’t find anything. There was nothing suspicious, nothing that could add to her theory of him being obsessed with her. 

Yet, the sensation couldn’t seem to fade away and she was sure Jeno got that there was something wrong with her. 

She was acting different, almost as if she was pushing him away, but it wasn’t her fault. The more he did, the more it seemed like he was proving her doubts right. 

And even when she went back in the timeline she remembered she felt the same. Jeno had always been caring. Even when it was all a bet, even when they were hidden from the world. It also was never an option, he insisted on picking her up from work, and accompanying her when she went out with her friends, or at medical appointments. He hid behind ‘safety reasons,’ but she wondered if it was truly only that. 

Maybe he didn’t trust her? But why?

“I have an amazing night planned for us,” Jeno cheered, entering their bedroom, wrapping a hand around her waist as she stood in front of the mirror. “I’m taking you out, then I’ll take you to another beautiful place to drink special cocktails and then we’ll come back here and you’ll see what else I have planned for you.” 

She smiled, caressing his hair back. “I’d love to, but did you forget I had a dinner tonight?” 

“A dinner?” 

“Yeah, with my coworkers, I told you. A party that the boss organized since we’re doing so well.”

Jeno knew it but he thought she didn’t want to go. 

“I thought you didn’t want to go?” 

She snorted, trying to mask the same sensation that was assaulting her in the last days, “I never said that.” 

Jeno gulped, watching as she pulled away from his hold to finish getting ready. Long burgundy dress around her body, legs covered by thin thigh-high tights, high heels, and her furred jacket on the chair. Surely too dress up for a simple company dinner. 

“It’s going to be so boring.” 

She shook her head. “No, I’m surrounded by nice people, I’m sure I’m going to have fun,” she said, turning around and smiling at him. “It will be just a dinner and then I’ll come back home.” 

“Do you need a ride?” 

“No, I can take the car by myself.” 

“I can —”

“Jeno, I can drive,” she stopped him, walking out of the bedroom to reach the front door and pick up the keys of the house and the car.  

“Why do you don’t want to —”

“Bye,” she cut him off, kissing him. “Gotta go. Love you.” 

“Yeah, bye. Love you, too,” he slurred, heart clenching in anger because she never refused a ride.  

Jeno didn’t want to follow her. He truly didn’t. He was trying hard to suppress that urge, walking back and forth in the living room, clenching his fists so tight that blood wasn’t flowing there anymore. But he couldn’t help but think about her. It wasn’t even that he didn’t trust her, or that there were other people, it was the fact that there was Jaehyun there too and Jeno was sure he was going to be all over her all night, probably telling some other bullshits about him and their relationship. 

But it wasn’t like he could anything about it, right? He couldn’t get to the restaurant, he couldn’t even be outside. She kept her promises, she would’ve come home straight away and he had nothing to worry about. 

But he had a lot to worry about. 

And when his eyes fell on a crumbled piece of paper with the address on, he took it as a sign of destiny. He couldn’t stay at home. 

When his car pulled in front of the restaurant, he spotted her car parked close to the entry. He couldn’t see inside, he didn’t even want to risk walking on the sidewalk to spy in, the place too elegant to go unnoticed of suspect movements. 

So he waited, and waited, hours passing by slowly. And just when he was about to lose hope, he saw the door open and a crowd of people come out of there. 

And there she was, it was impossible not to notice her, she looked so beautiful, and Jeno smiled at the sight, until he saw that Jaehyun’s hand was placed behind her back and that she was way too close to him. 

“What the fuck are they doing?” He groaned, squeezing his eyes to see better, hoping he was insane and just seeing things, but Jaehyun’s hand didn’t move, worst, it moved lower, and wrapped around her waist. 

“Why aren’t you moving him away? Why would you let him touch you like that?” 

What he couldn’t stand were the laughers, and the continuous talk, why couldn’t the night just be over? Why couldn’t she come home? 

“Finally,” he whispered, slumping in the backseat when the group parted in two and she started walking to her car. But he couldn’t relax for long, his heart started racing when Jaehyun sat on the passenger seat of her car. What was going on?

He hit the honk when he accidentally punched the wheel, he couldn’t see what they were doing, he couldn’t even get why it was taking them so long to start the car. 

‘sorry I’ll be home later. don’t wait for me.’

When the text popped on his screen he wanted to get out of the car, drag Jaehyun out of there and punch him until he was covered in blood, but he couldn’t. So he tried to rationalise the insane thoughts that were filling his brain like loud voices screaming to him his worst intentions. Maybe she had to drop him home, that’s why it would take more, but why couldn’t she just tell him? Why did she have to lie and be so close to him? 

Her car started, sprinting past his, and he started to follow behind them, hoping to go unnoticed. There were some cars around, so he could blend in with the others well without losing them in the late-night traffic. 

He was trying to calm down but when she didn’t drive toward his place his anger started to get harder to suppress. 

“Why are they driving to the Han river?” 

When they parked and walked away, Jeno didn’t know what to do. Following them on foot was going to be much more dangerous but he couldn’t let her go like this. He was terrified something too big was going to happen. 

He was losing count of the time passing as he watched them sit on a bench while eating ice cream and laughing and talking. Jaehyun couldn’t be that funny, could he? Why couldn’t she see the way he was looking at her? Why didn’t that make her uncomfortable? 

‘are you still up?’

Jeno raised a brow when his screen lit up, why would she text him that? But he ignored it, focusing on the view in front of him. A view that was irritating him more and more as time passed. Jaehyun was too close, and she wasn’t stopping him, letting their bodies touch in a way Jeno didn’t like. 

His hand clenched when the other man leaned closer and tried to kiss her, and the only thing that made him feel better was that she pulled away. Jeno could barely make out some faint apologies coming from Jaehyun from the tree he was hiding behind, but that still wasn’t enough. 

Jeno was going to make him pay for that. 

“You?” 

She rolled her eyes, pushing her brother to the side and making her way into his place. 

“Excuse me? What if I don’t want you here? Do I have to remind you of the fight of the other day?” Jaemin asked, still closing the door behind and following her on the couch. 

“It was a month ago…” she whispered, looking down at the floor. 

“And?” 

She raised her gaze to him. “I need to talk to you about Jeno.” 

“Did he hurt you?” Jaemin panicked, reaching for her. 

“Would he?” 

Jaemin stopped in his tracks, “I don’t think so, but you don’t seem happy so you are either mad at him or me.” 

She shook her head, sighing. “I know we’re not winning any best siblings award, but I still trust you and I know you think I’m dumb, and maybe I am but… I need your help.” 

“For?” Jaemin could see her legs bounce nervously, and he knew this was worst than he could even imagine. 

“I feel like I don’t know Jeno at all. And I’m not sure I’m going to like who he really is,” she confessed. 

“Why? Who do you think he is?” He wanted to answer that ‘yes, congratulations! You discovered the obvious. He is not who you think he is,’ but he needed to know what kind of doubts she had. 

She gulped, words crossing her mind, but she was terrified of saying them out loud, once Jaemin knew of her doubts, of all the fears and suspects, her and Jeno were over, and she wasn’t sure she wanted that. And precise as a clock a text grabbed her attention. 

‘There’s the fair back in town, are you free tomorrow?’ 

She blinked a tear away and then looked at her brother. “I just… I feel like he can’t open up with me, and I wondered if he was the same with you, or if I’m the problem.” 

Jaemin raised a brow, staying silent for too long, feeling that wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. 

“Did he text you?” 

She nodded. “We’re going to the fair tomorrow. Where it all started.” 

“Are you sure this is a good thing?” 

“What?” 

Jaemin sighed, sifting uncomfortably in his place. “You and him. I still don’t get how you ended up together, I know you took it as an attack and I… I also get that I should be the last person to worry about you but you two have nothing in common. How does it work?” 

She bit her lip, avoiding his gaze. It worked, somehow, in her fantasy, in her delusion. It worked because she kept falling for his fool’s gold because at the end, maybe, everybody was right, she was dumb and madly in love, and that is never a good combo. 

Jaemin took a deep breath, reaching for her hand, making her look at him in surprise. He was never physical with her, avoided her like plague so much she couldn’t even remember the last time her brother touched her. 

“Are you running after a teenage dream?” 

“Why do you always have to think that I’m the stupid girl madly in love with him?” Because you are, she replied instead. Because you will always be. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt. You loved him for so long without truly knowing him I fear you fell for an idea in your brain.” 

She pulled away and stood up. “I know him. We’ve been together for almost a year that is not the problem. I’m not the dumb one. Things are fine, they are — they are great it’s just…” I’m afraid. “I don’t want this to break, I don’t want this spell to end because I’m fine with him. We’re good. We…” She sighed, maybe Jaemin was the last person she should’ve spoken to. Maybe she should’ve talked to Jeno directly. 

“I have to go now.” 

“Wait,” Jaemin stopped her. “I can tell you what you need to know about him.” 

“Trust me, you can’t.” 

“Were you at home the other day?” After beating around the bush, she finally found the courage to talk to Jeno. The sound of the food frying in the pans in front of her was actually annoying as it filled the silence when no words came out of Jeno’s mouth. 

“The other day, when? Can you be more specific?” 

“When I went out for dinner with my colleagues.” 

Jeno hummed, shrugging, stopping from scrolling on his socials, “Yeah, why?” 

She breathed deeply, shaking her head before giving him her back again. “Nothing, just wondering.” 

“Are you the only one allowed to have fun?” He stood up, reaching her side, two fingers caressing her cheek gently. 

“I never said that.” 

“No, but I don’t get the random question.” 

“And the day after? You didn’t pass by at work, where were you?” 

“I told you I couldn’t come, bunny. I had a thing to do.” 

“Yes, but what? You never let me take the metro alone.” 

Jeno scoffed and she quirked a brow. 

“What’s funny?” 

He shook his head, leaving her side, but she had no intention of letting the conversation drop. 

“Am I lying? You say it loud and clear.” 

“Yeah, and I also know that you don’t take the metro for some months now.” 

Her eyes widened, and it got harder to swallow the saliva as she stared at him. 

“I saw Jaehyun drop you by weeks ago,” he said calmly. “I’m not worried about the metro because I know you have him and he would never let you ride that.” 

“You don’t even like him,” she chuckled bitterly. 

“As long as he has your back and knows his place, I’m fine with his existence.” 

“Somebody attacked him,” she blurted, trying to study Jeno’s expression, she didn’t like what her thoughts were suggesting her for some days but she couldn’t sleep at night with those doubts. Jaehyun was avoiding her, he didn’t even greet her anymore, he barely explained what happened and she had to put the pieces together by asking Johnny what was going on. She heard that whoever attacked him told him to ‘keep his distance from what wasn’t his,’ and she could only think about Jeno. 

“Oh, on the metro?” 

She was taken aback by his answer and shook her head. “No, out of his house. They almost fractured his nose and he has a broken arm.” 

“Really? Shit, were they trying to rob him?” 

“They threatened him.” She kept her eyes locked into his, more shivers turning her skin full of goosebumps. Jeno was impassible, deep down his concerned frown she could see there was no glint behind his eyes. 

“See, that’s why I don’t trust him around you. He must be in a bad circle or something. The place he lives is nice, why do those kinds of people only attack him?” 

“Jeno,” she breathed out, voice shaking and tears menacing to fall. “Was it you?” She expected a bigger reaction but not that. The calm behind his eyes and voice, terrified her more than his outburst of anger did. 

“Me?” He only replied nonchalantly. “You think I’d ever hurt somebody?” 

She started crying, “You said you would kill for me.” 

“Is it a bad thing?” He asked, walking closer to her, reaching for her hand, shaking like a leaf. “You know I’d never hurt you.” 

“But others? Would you kill for me? Would you… would you ever hurt somebody?” 

Jeno didn’t reply but somehow that silence had all the answers she didn’t want to have. He would. And he did. It surely had been him. 

“Why — why would you do that to him?” 

“Do what?” 

“Beat him? He has wounds all over his face, he doesn’t even look like himself.” 

“Why do you care what he looks like? Do you like him?” 

“No, we’re not doing this,” she replied, shaking her head and walking backwards, hands in front of her as if she could stop him from vomiting out words that would’ve pushed her down a spiral of madness. 

“Yes, we are. Because you’d rather accuse me, your boyfriend, of something like that, rather than come to terms with the fact that probably your bestie from work is not who he tells you to be.” 

“You don’t know him.” 

Jeno scoffed. “Should’ve taught a lesson to you, instead.” 

“What did you say?” She asked, unsure she had heard right. Hoping she didn’t because at this point lies were better than what seemed to be the truth. 

“Nothing.” 

She groaned, slamming a hand on the table. “Why can’t you just be honest for once? You always lie to me.” 

“I never lie to you.” 

“I won’t tell him if you did it but just confess to me and we’ll work it out. If there are some problems in our relationship we can fix them.” 

“You are the problem in our relationship.” 

She gasped before her body started shaking even more, voice vibrating full of fear, insecurity and sadness. “What?” 

“You and your lies and the way you keep listening to everyone except me. No matter what happens, no matter how much things have nothing to do with me, you will always find a way to blame it on me.” 

“I —”

“Shut up,” he cut her off harshly. “I know you talked to Jaemin,” he scoffed. “He never gave a fuck about you. He treated you like shit and the first second we falter, you run in his arms to make me the villain? That’s why you needed him to know, right? Why do you hate me so much?” 

“I don’t hate you. What did he tell you?” 

He laughed, but it wasn’t a familiar sweet sound, it was mocking like a sharp slap straight to the cheek. “Afraid he spilled more than you wanted to reach me, right?” 

“I barely talked about you.” 

“It doesn’t matter what he told me, honestly, he was nice, I got by his weird talks that whatever he was ranting about was coming from you. But you need his words, right? You have me right here and you go ask anybody about me except me. You don’t like me. You never liked the real me. You hate I’m not whoever is in your head.” 

“Please, not this again. I do, I love you so much. I… I…” 

“You what?” He screamed, scaring her, back hitting the wall as the tears started flowing down her cheeks. “God, here we go. Crying like a baby just like when you were a fucking child.” 

She didn’t answer, only wrapped her arms around her body and looked at the floor. This was just like when she fought with her father, or with Jaemin when they were younger and he picked on her for any reason. It was a knife piercing deep into the old wound and twisting with cruel indifference. 

“Fucking answer me! You’re not throwing the rock and then hiding your hand. Ruining our weekend to defend your work boyfie.” 

“Don’t call him that…” 

“No? And what should I call him? Why don’t you run to him? Go, the door is there and I’m sure he’s waiting for you.” 

“He doesn’t talk to me anymore all because you scared him away,” she snapped just to regret it right after. The furious look on Jeno’s face was the last thing she wanted to see. 

“You’re just an ungrateful bitch,” he spat out, turning around angrily. “You don’t deserve anything of what I do for you. This place, defending you from your father, risking my relationship with your brother, hanging out with your friends, dropping you by and coming to pick you up every day from work, spoiling you with small vacation and dresses. But most importantly, you don’t deserve my love. You deserve to be left in the misery you were when you crawled to me on your knees. I should’ve treated you like shit like everybody else always did with you, you would’ve appreciated that more. But here you are.” 

“Jeno, please.” 

“Shut up,” he replied sternly. “And leave.” 

“What do you mean, leave?” 

“What it means? Are you that fucking dumb you don’t know what words mean?” 

“I… I think this is escalating, I didn’t, I didn’t mean this,” she blabbered, a mess on her face as the sobs got louder, too much spit menacing to spill out of her mouth in a pathetic drooling mess. Feeling the floor fall through right beneath her feet, free falling.  

“You never mean it. And I’m tired of your words, of your lame excuses.” 

“No, no, wait,” she said, reaching for him, but he pushed her away. “Tell me what I did wrong and we can fix it.” 

Jeno laughed. “You don’t trust me. And instead of working on it, you just proved to me more and more every day that you’d let other people’s opinions come over your love for me, just like I told you. But I was paranoic back then, wasn’t I?” 

“But this time it’s not words…” 

“What if I did it? What if I beat him and what else did they do to him? Broke his arm?” 

She nodded, lips quivering, brain pulsing for how hard she was trying to keep herself afloat.  

“Would you leave me if I did that?” 

She didn’t reply, gulping hard, blankly looking into his eyes to see if that was a confession or not. 

“Yes, you would, so why would I risk losing you for him? What do I get from beating him?” 

“But he doesn’t talk to me anymore,” she cried, breaking down in another loud sob. Hoping he would open his arms and hold her in, and save her again from the death he pushed her toward. “Nobody else would threaten him over me.” 

“Who said they threatened him over you?” 

“But why wouldn’t he talk to me?” She sniffled. 

“Because people are shit. They use you until they can get what they want from you and then leave you there. Didn’t he have a crush on you?” 

She hummed, rubbing her arms with her palms, sinking her nails down her skin through her clothes to stay grounded.

“And did you ever flirt with him or gave him a hint of giving him a chance?” 

“Of course not, I have you. I love you.” 

“I know, and don’t you think he knows it too? Don’t you think he’s mad because he sees how strong our relationship is? Wasn’t he filling your brain with stupid doubts to make us fall apart?” 

“He wouldn’t…” 

“He wouldn’t? Bunny,” Jeno cooed, caressing her wet cheek. “Men are trash. You don’t know the things they would do just for some sex.” 

“But he’s different… we were friends. I liked spending time with him.” 

“I know, bunny, I know,” he said, pulling her in his arms. “That’s why I’m mad I can’t protect you from the world. I try to, but you don’t listen. You wanted to trust him and here you are, crying because he just wanted to get in your pants and as soon as he realized he couldn’t, he dropped you out of his life.” 

She didn’t answer, only sobbed harder in his chest, arms weakly holding his waist. 

“For how sick he is, he might’ve also hurt himself to make you believe I’d do something like this.” 

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” she said, pulling away. 

Jeno caressed her cheek. “But I need you to trust me, bunny. We can’t go on like this.” 

She nodded. “But you need to trust me too. I love you, I truly do. I don’t care what people say, but I… never mind.” She took a step back before turning around, wiping the tears with the back of her hands, and then walked into the kitchen again, hoping the food didn’t burn, not that she had any appetite left. 

But when her hands placed on the countertop after turning the fire off, she just cried, shaking and sobbing while Jeno stared at her, leaning on the door frame. The silence was louder than any words. They both knew they were walking on a fragile line and it was bound to break. No amount of sick games and lies was going to save them now. But leaving it as a thought was better than saying it out loud. It was safer than starting another fight where maybe none of them would’ve come out alive. 

“We should leave,” Jeno was the one to break the silence, “just for a while. Detox from everything.” 

She didn’t answer, sniffling harder while she held her body close. That wasn’t going to make things better. She knew she should’ve shut things up a year ago, the bet should’ve been a red flag big enough to tell her this wasn’t going to work, but she ignored it, and now she was paying the consequences. Because loving Jeno had always been like this, a rollercoaster with no seat belts. She felt shivers run down her spine when his arms wrapped around her and his chin rested on top of her shoulder.

“I hate when we fight, I really do.” His hot breath on her skin made her feel uncomfortable, it was like the spell ran out of its magic and all of this lost its spark. Like Cinderella, nothing of the fancy dress or the carriage was left, just a scattered pumpkin on the cold ground, but in this case, the pumpkin was her.

“Why aren’t you answering? Why do you act like this?” 

“Please,” she begged, lifting a hand to her ears when he raised his voice, wanting to shut him out. “I’m tired, I’m — I’m exhausted. I can’t, I’ve had thoughts running in my brain for days and I can’t shut them off, I don’t know how to make them stop, I can’t make this pain go away.” 

But it was like Jeno couldn’t get it and thought that everything could’ve been easily fixed. 

“Don’t kiss me,” she said, squirming away, slipping out of his hold. 

“Are you mad at me still? I thought you were mad at him two seconds ago and now you’re turning against me again?” 

“I’m not turning against you,” she retorted. “The world doesn’t turn against you just when a small thing doesn’t go in your direction, I’m… I need some sleep.” 

“No,” he stopped her. “I don’t want to go to bed without resolving this. Why do you pretend?” 

“I’m not pretending, I can’t talk to you because everything turns into a fight. And… I don’t like listening to what other people say about us but maybe they are right, why can’t you just… let me go?” 

“Let you go?” 

She hummed, barely finding the courage to hold his gaze. “Don’t be so protective over me.” 

Jeno’s features were tense and she didn’t like it. 

“Fine,” he whispered. “Maybe we should take a break.” 

She let out a scream of exasperation, why did her every word have to be twisted into something else? “I didn’t say that.” 

“But I did. I can’t take this just like you can’t. I proposed to leave, put the stress to the side and then come back, but you still doubt me.” 

“Leaving will just push our problems back.” 

“What problems? Because we were fine until you brought him up accusing me of hurting him for some kind of… of what? Revenge? Threat?” 

“So it’s my fault?” 

“Yes, it is, we were supposed to eat and go to the amusement park like one year ago, and here we are. Over.” 

“We’re not over, don’t say that,” she huffed, feeling a terrible pain in her chest just hearing that. “We can still go, we can… we can.” 

“You’re tired, go to sleep.” 

She squeezed her head, brain about to explode in confusion, vision blurred because she had no idea what the right path to take was anymore. There wasn’t even a path to follow, just a land of fallen leaves where traps hid underneath, and with every step, she could’ve tumbled inside. 

“My problem is that I think you are too protective of me.” 

“Too protective? Can you please tell me how? The last time we talked, you were lucky you had me, what changed?” 

“I am, I feel safe around you but… I feel like you don’t trust me. It almost seems as if I am a child in your eyes, and I don’t know what to do with myself.” 

He scoffed. “Caring for you makes you feel like that? You know why it does? Because nobody took care of you when you were a child. Because your brain wished somebody took some weight off your shoulder when you were younger, and you’re not used to other people helping you instead of leaving you in the shit. I know that you, more than Jaemin, had to raise yourself on your own. I was there when you always knew how to get out of a situation. You were never dumb, silent maybe, introverted, shy, clumsy, making everything that you touched break or fall or trip directly yourself but fuck, you were never dumb. You… you have always been so fucking interesting and I,” he sighed. “I envied you so much. Because growing up on my own without my father having my back didn’t make me come up like you. You’re right, I’m a mess, and I’m not half of what you are. Why do you think I hated you? I wanted to break you down so badly. But it seemed like the more people would push you to the floor the more you would bloom, and it was always so subtle, so sneaky, you were a master at getting unnoticed and I wanted to be like that so bad. But instead of pushing me away, you attracted me so much, still, no matter how much I studied you, I never got your tricks. I still don’t, not even now. I have no idea how you didn’t turn into a monster, and I do fear I’ll turn you into one if you stick with me. And I try, I try so hard to be the best version of myself, I don’t even realize when I fuck it up but the idea of losing you, kills me. It kills me. And I’m afraid because I… I know that if only you took a glimpse inside of me, of my true self you’d be terrified and you’d run away. God, you already want to run away.” 

She blinked, staring at him with a curious expression, his defences crumbling down like a house of cards. “You noticed me? I wasn’t invisible for you?” 

Jeno sighed, tears rolling from his eyes again, slipping on the floor. “You haunted me. I saw myself in you. And I wanted to destroy you as much as I wanted to destroy myself.” 

She gulped, sitting in front of him. Well, at least now it all made more sense, all the pain he put her through, all the wasted years and tears. “It doesn’t seem really nice.” 

“I have very bad coping mechanisms,” he shrugged, a bitter smile on his face as he stared at her, dried tears marking her beautiful face. 

She reached for his hand, caressing the palm. “Don’t you think we all hide a bad side of us?” 

He shook his head, pulling away. “You wouldn’t get it.” 

“But if you said that I’m the better version of you, how can I not?” 

“Because you are the good I don’t have.” 

“Shut up, you’re an amazing person, why would you say those things now?” 

“It’s not about being a good or bad person, it’s about having scars that healed in a terrible way and having prices to pay because of them.” 

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” 

“Am I better in your head?” He asked, tilting his head to the side, voice clipping in his throat. “The version of me that lives there, he’s fine, isn’t he? Maybe he’s just like you.” 

She stared at him, trying to read him deeper, to push past those walls she believed he had pushed down, but they were still all there, too tall to even think about climbing them. “I don’t understand you, Jeno, I… I don’t know if I’m tired or if you’re just saying nonsense but… it’s confusing.” 

He smiled, cupping her cheek. “That’s why I told you, you can’t get it.” 

“Where are you going?” She asked when he got up and walked to the door. 

“Out,” he replied calmly as if they weren’t having breakdown after breakdown, always collected as if nothing fazed him, not even when he was the one underwater gasping for air. 

“No, please, I don’t want us to be alone.” 

He turned around, staring at her standing with her fingers playing together. Jeno gulped, looking down before leaning against the door, and inhaling deeply. The images of the fights of before were burning in his brain like a wildfire that had no intention to stop, her wet cheeks, her eyes full of fear, trust faltering, her screams and her words, he was the monster he wanted to protect her from. 

When Jeno started sobbing she rushed to him, holding him in her arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, apologizing for things she didn’t know. Cursing himself for being so dumb once again, for hurting everybody even when he wanted to protect them. Hating himself because he was never going to learn. “I’m so sorry.” 

She caressed his face, shushing him with small kisses. 

“I don’t deserve you,” he said, pushing her to the side, running to the bathroom, locking himself in. And if only she didn’t see his eyes being empty and blank again, she wouldn’t have felt that weird warning sensation in her gut. 

“Jeno, open the door,” she screamed when she felt an alarming silence interrupted by sobs and objects falling on the floor. “Jeno, please,” she screamed louder. “I’m here to help you.” 

“I don’t need your help, you don’t know… you don’t.” 

“Jeno, I don’t care, I don’t care about what had been, but I care about you. You are not your scars.” 

“Yes, I am. I am fucked up in more ways than you could even imagine. I’m so toxic for you and I… I’m so selfish because, fuck,” a groan of pain stopped him. “I can’t be without you, I can’t. I want you so bad because it’s so easy to fool myself I can be like you, that if you chose me there must be something good in the mess I am, and I,” another groan, louder this time, reached her outside of the room, but when nothing followed, she started panicking more. 

“Jeno, what are you doing?” 

Nothing. 

“Jeno,” she banged against the door, screaming and crying, “open, please, please don’t do anything dumb.” 

Only after a few seconds he opened, heart on his knees when he noticed the state she was in, the state he put her through. And his heart sank even more when she fell into his arms once seeing he was fine. She loved him too much. 

“I hit him.” 

“What?” She asked, pulling away. 

“I hit Jaehyun, I slashed his tires, I even spied you one night, more than once. I followed you when you went out the other night.” 

She stood there, frozen in her tracks, shaking. The realization falling on her like a cold shower. 

“No, you didn’t. We’re both tired, we need some sleep.” 

“No, I did it. The scar on my thigh? I hurt myself while hiding after slashing his tires and I had to fix it myself.” 

She was speechless, feeling like she could pass out. It couldn’t be true. Yes, she feared it was for weeks by now, but it couldn’t be true. Why was he even confessing? Why couldn’t he keep lying? He was so good at it, and she loved falling into those lies. 

“But why?” Her voice came out like a tremble, salty drops dripping down her face, she couldn’t calm down. 

“Because I’m terrified of losing you.” 

“But what made you even think I would leave you? I… I loved you when you treated me like shit, how could I don’t love you now?” 

“It’s my brain, it’s… it’s the fact I’m never worth more than a fuck for nobody, it’s because I’m bad at love and I’m only good at tricking people into me and manipulating them. It’s because I didn’t learn anything else in my life.” 

“I…” She couldn’t find words to say, she had so many things to let out but they made no sense. Nothing made sense. He was capable of that? Of hurting the people she loved? He spied her? So that night wasn’t a coincidence? Trying to put together all the pieces was driving her insane, and the more she did, the more the picture looked blurry. 

“You were the only one that never looked at me up and down. The only one that never judged me for anything. The only one that truly stood by my side. No matter how much I mocked you for it, or pretended I didn’t notice. I still have all your birthday cards, the ones I always laughed about in front of our friends. I have the Halloween costume you sewed for me when you took your sewing class. I have the small notes you would leave in my bag every time I stayed over with your brother. I have everything.” 

She tried to breathe but it was getting impossible and she leaned against a wall. It was like the world was spinning at light speed and she had no ground under her feet. It was like a Ferris wheel falling to the ground and having nothing to save herself with. 

“So why did it have to take a fucking bet to get to me?” She cried out, voice full of anger but it still didn’t quite come out, too mixed with the disappointment. It all could’ve been so much easier. 

“Because I was in denial. I thought I loved the attention you gave me, the — the pathetic kind of love you felt for me made me feel so fucking important. I believed I could bathe in it and then jump out free once I was done with you. Using you like any other person but then… then you made me discover what love truly is and I couldn’t stand it.” 

She hummed, a small, crooked smile curling her lips. How could she even react to all of that? “But you still love the power you have over me, don’t you? That’s why you’re here, you know I’ll always come back. You know I’ll let you trap me in a cage if it meant being with you, so why this? Why hurt the people I love?” 

“Because I don’t know how much your love for me will make you come back. I… I thought that if I made you feel safe with me, if I cut other people out, you… you wouldn’t have seen how terrible I am.” 

“Then why are you confessing?” 

He lifted his head up, glossy, red eyes meeting hers, nothing but a brown pool of sadness, rancor and so many other emotions she couldn’t point out. “Because I need to be honest with you before you’ll leave me like everybody else.” 

She sat on the floor, legs too tired to support her body, and stared at him, crying and shaking, mumbling apologies, bleeding on the floor since something must’ve cut his hands by mistake. It was another red flag, wasn’t it? A warning as big as a house that was screaming at her to leave now, before it truly was too late. But she also thought of the man of before and how he was trying to manipulate her, how easy it was for him to do it, and now he was confessing all his crimes. And the same questions that assaulted her when he was begging on her knees to forgive him for that bet were filling her brain again. What was he gaining from this? Why did he fight so hard to keep her? But this time she knew he couldn’t have anybody else, that the whole façade of him being a fuckboy was as fake as everything else she had believed lately. He didn’t grow to love her. He always did. Did he? Or did he love the power and the tears and begs and screams? 

After all, it was them. It had always been them. It was falling. It was death, by his side, and it wasn’t sweet or tragically romantic.

She sighed, resting her chin on her bent knees. 

He had done everything to prove her how much he loved her like he had promised. He had done too much. 

“You want me to leave you?” 

Jeno nodded, feeling his heart clench in his chest just at the idea of lifting his head and not seeing her anymore, but that was just another price to pay, he deserved it. 

She pursed her lips together, staring at the floor blankly. She wanted to ask him questions, if he ever got himself checked up for something, if there was something he could do to fix this instead of hurting himself and the people he loved, but she didn’t. 

“I want you to take me to the amusement park tomorrow.” 

He raised his head, shocked to even hear her voice and see that she was still there. 

“I think me and you have to start brand new.” 

He shook his head. “I can’t change. And before I’ll hurt you too, I want you to leave.” No, he didn’t, he could barely survive a month without her, he didn’t even want to imagine an entire life like that, but he had to.

She moved closer. “Maybe instead of pushing the problems back, you could face them?” 

“Drop it,” he warned, but she didn’t listen. 

“I don’t know anything about love, nobody taught me anything about it either. But I guess love is taking care of the people you love, right? I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m here, Jeno. I’m standing close to you after you confessed you stalked me and threatened one of my friends. If I was like anybody else I would not only be out of that door but I would probably be at the police, suing you. But I’m here. I’m here because I listened to you before and I think that maybe there’s a reason why you’re like this, and you can fix this. You don’t heal from the pain of the past, nobody and nothing fills certain voids but instead of letting them drown you and take opportunities away from you, there are ways to walk past them and move forward.” 

He didn’t answer, chewing the inside of his cheeks nervously, thinking about it. “I’ll do it, I promise. But without you, I can’t drag you in this.” 

“You won’t do it if you don’t have a reason to do it, you know it, too.” 

“So you know me a bit, don’t you?” 

She nodded, caressing his cheek with her thumb, and her body relaxed a bit when he snuggled against her touch and shifted closer to her. 

“Maybe we should get up from the cold floor, don’t you think so?”

When the clock struck midnight, Jeno was sleeping, leaning on her, on the couch. And as much as she was exhausted, she couldn’t close her eyes thinking about everything that happened. Tormenting herself, wondering if it was another one of his traps or if he was so good at hiding his demons that not even Jaemin, Haechan, or Jisung had a mere idea of everything that was going on inside him. Thinking how much different he looked when she walked him to the couch and cleaned his wounds and he opened up a bit more. Questioning which of the many versions of himself he had shown her was the real one. Wondering who she was going to wake up to the next day. She hoped it was the same Jeno that chuckled lightly while they ate a bowl of ramen, talking about the future. She hoped it was the same Jeno that promised her he was going to be a better person. She hoped he could be his true self around her, but she started to fear that maybe that version of him didn’t even exist, that he tried so hard to conceal it that it simply disappeared and he, himself, had to find it somewhere he didn’t know. 

She sighed, struggling to grab a blanket, and covered their tired bodies, holding him closer, inhaling his scent before she tried to close her eyes, hoping the heavy sensation on her chest wouldn’t have been there by morning. 

But for now, it was, their hearts were beating as once with the same demons. He was right. They weren’t different, they were a different outcome of the same situation. Probably that was why they worked. She craved his bad, and he craved her good. But she doubted that foolish fantasy could last for long. 

Probably it was better to leave, to run and hide, maybe she was still in time to don’t miss him as if somebody cut her heart off her chest, still in time to don’t let his demons drown her too. But after all, she was a dumb girl, a fool for him. 

She would’ve always wanted him. In any way she could have him. 

And when she looked down at his relaxed face, eyelashes resting on his cheeks, and breath normal, she realized she couldn’t leave him. If she brought the better out of him, this couldn’t go wrong. It couldn’t be worst, at least. 

But the realization of how tricky the path they were going to take kept her up at night some more. 

Jeno was terrified of losing her, the only good part of him, the only person he could somehow mirror himself even though their apparent incompatibility. 

Somebody could’ve called it dedication, some other something darker. After all, the line between love and obsession is thin, and Jeno had crossed it for a while. And she had no idea if there was salvation for that. 

Jeno wasn’t only in love, Jeno was obsessed. 

taglist: @jenoxygen @bockhyun @harrypinks @eotokki-blog @painted-hills @zimsuhlabim​ @arlenejcc​

I hope you liked it, please leave feedback to show support ♡

[morosis-haze]

hii babes i was wondering if u could do a tr boys x( beyonce )reader maybe bonten?like how their s/o is famous and they are world criminals .have a good day <3

𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰/ 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐬/𝐨

A/n: Gn!reader. Mocchi isn’t in this b/c I was struggling to try writing for him, when I feel like I have his character down maybe I’ll do his version. I’m sorry this request is late, but I hope you enjoy.

Warning: curse words, threats, words implying to violence

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐌𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨—

- there’s a bunch a people who know y’all are dating just not the whole public

- mikey knows how to keep peoples mouth shut

- let someone see y’all together and he is on them

- doesn’t go anywhere with a lot people though to begin with

- being in a relationship with Mikey would be complicated at times he wouldn’t always communicate and would push you away

- with you being busy yourself caused more problems

- you have to have patience to make sure you get Mikey to sit down with you every once in a while and actually spend time together

- Mikey does love your private moments

- at times he’ll make up a random game

“How about I say something and you sing it to me back”

“mikey ..”

“What it will be like an exercise for you,right?”

𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨—

“ So, can I listen to the album?”

“Sanzu it’s not done yet”

“Just one song please”

- you played 2 seconds of a song and didn’t let him hear more than that

He just paused and stared at you in disbelief “… that was not the full thing”

“Yeah I never agreed to let you hear it”

-Dramatically flailing out his arms and whining “I didn’t even get to hear your voice”

- Negative comments are something you’re already used to, but let anyone say even the slightest negative shit about you near sanzu and we might have to pray for that person’s life

- “people who listen to y/n are brainwashed” “ I don’t understand people who listen to y/n they don’t even sound good”

- sanzu just has to go ‘talk’ to this person cause ain’t no way they said such bullshit with confidence

- y’all relationship did get to the public quickly, but that ain’t really surprising

- this of course caused discourse, and now a bunch of articles are on you

- “y/n seen out with bonten member”

- the album you dropped afterwards still hit #1 sooooo you do you

- everything that was being said was getting to sanzu though

-he didn’t want to cause you any problems

- you reassure him he isn’t causing major problems and your relationship will not end

𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞—

- koko had showed up to a photo shoot of yours one time and let me tell the look on these peoples faces

- they’re all having a wtf moment seeing you send a little wave his way

- they knew better than to question the relationship when seeing the side eye koko was sending

- just making sure nothing’s going wrong

- whenever he does want to go out with you it’s always in a secluded area where everyone knows him, and knows not to open their mouth about how he’s with you

- he’s quite helpful when it comes to your career

- you want his opinion on what the album cover should be he’s right there giving reason why the first cover matches the energy of the album better

- right there when you have writers block, letting you know there’s no need to rush

-he’s your assistant but he’s not

𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨—

- your biggest fan

- very careful with his relationship with you

- he didn’t want it to get public that you’re dating a bonten member as he knows how it could effect you

- now kakucho is a very supportive boyfriend

- he’ll listen to your songs on repeat, and then praise you for your work every single time

“ you did amazing on this!”

- though at times he forgets not to play the unreleased songs

- you showed up to his place and heard your song blaring through the walls

- like sir you can’t do that

- kakucho doesn’t want to cause any problems, but give the word that someone’s been messing with you and he could go handle it then he’ll do just that

- he won’t involve himself in a situation till it’s necessary

- kakucho just minds his business except when it comes to your music

𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢—

- was here since day motherfuckin one in your career

- Takeomi is like your bodyguard at times

- “ y/n when do you plan on giving us another album? It’s been such a long time since you dropped-” this person kept on pressing you while being all up in your face

- that’s where takeomi comes in cause ain’t no one gonna make his s/o feel uncomfortable

- odd as it is to the media y’all are just coincidentally in the same area there ain’t a photo or video to prove you and Takeomi actually know each other

- have people all on the internet concerned for you, some think you’re in bonten, just a list theories

- Takeomi just knows how to make sure you guys aren’t caught looking like you’re together

- he knows y’all are both busy people so he tries his best to make sure there won’t be any interruptions when you’re both together

𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢—

-shows up to your studio every time you’re there

-he knows he’s intimidating people there

-you got writers block and he’ll help in some way

“Let me do a verse” “mmm actually i just thought of what I wanna say. How about next album,ran?”

- when your relationship did get public it was a mix of hate and amusement from people

- he didn’t give a fuck

- went out for dinner right after like it was nothing

- “so, are you paying?”

- the nerve of him to ask like he didn’t order damn near everything off the menu

- thing is with ran he’s doesn’t care being in public with you cause he wishes someone would try you and him

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢—

- another who’s wants to keep the relationship private

- rindou will just be sitting in your studio as you record songs

- only other people in there being your closest friends that work with you and they had no problems with rindou or either they decided to be quiet then to start one

- rindou does get jealous of the people that get to be around you

- seeing another so close to his s/o on the media and he can’t even be there due to the issues it would cause

- part of him wishes to let everyone know you’re dating him, but the problems it could cause you isn’t worth it to him

-bonus: rindou def was a fan when he met you

Taglist :: @milliumizoomi @plutosexc @sscarchiyo @iridesent-folly join taglist here

[buckysimp101]

Everything the Light Touches (18+) - Chapter Three

Mafia!Bucky x Reader

chapter warnings: language, alcohol/drinking, angst, (this is lowkey a slow burn so..)

a/n: so many people in that last chapter were wondering how YN would react to Buckaroo’s comment and well, here we are. also, wanda is the best friend we all should strive to be.

Series Masterlist

Rage. White hot, unbridled rage surged through your body. It was all you felt towards Bucky, no not Bucky, the complete stranger standing before you. Before you could even get your brain to think about what you were doing your hand reared back and landed a slap right on his cheek, quickly a red mark in the shape of your hand was beginning to take form. The surprise in his eyes at your actions was quickly replaced with a dark anger and he opened his mouth to talk but you cut him off. 

“No you don’t get to talk to me like that. In fact you don’t get to talk to me at all. You made that decision. I made a mistake coming here. I want nothing to do with you, James Barnes,” you hissed, the anger still bubbling beneath the surface and before you could look in his eyes a month longer you swiftly turned to leave through the front door. Suddenly, your wrist was being grabbed and you were twisted back to face Bucky, silent rage building in his face as well. He went to speak  but was interrupted yet again, this time by Steve and Natasha. Steve’s hand sat firmly on Bucky’s shoulder while Natasha’s removed his grasp from your wrist. You refused to look at either of them, fearing that your resolve would break down even more if you looked into the faces of your other two best friends. Natasha’s hand was light on your wrist, almost questioning, as if she couldn’t quite believe you were here. Like she was scared your fury would be directed at her next. 

Steve spoke first, “if you’re going to talk let’s do it off the dance floor, you know the big open place where every single person is staring right at you.” The tone he used, as if trying to not frighten a stray animal, pissed you off yet again. But this time before you could speak Bucky finally spoke. 

“Ms. L/N was just leaving. Natasha, lead her out,” he spoke nonchalantly but there was something there, something dark and angry and…hurt? His whirlpool of unspoken emotions confused you. As if you were the one that stopped talking to him. As if you forced him to leave the state to deal with your betrayal. As if you were the one who stopped loving him first. 

Twisting your wrist out of Natasha’s grip you snarled in Bucky’s direction, “I can let myself out. I don’t need Natasha’s help. Not now, not ever.” If you’d been looking at her you would’ve noticed the deep look of hurt settling on your face at your words. But you didn’t care. The three of them deserved your hatred. They abandoned you. For better or worse that’s what they did. And they broke your heart, each in their own way. 

When you turned around, to head out the door you entered earlier, Bucky’s deep growl sounded behind you, “Oh and Y/N,” the venom with which he spoke your first name, the first time you’d heard your name slip from his lips in years, caused the hairs on your body to stand up, “be lucky that I make it a rule not to hurt a woman, because that little stunt you just pulled? Men have been killed for less.” The threat hung unspoken in the air between you and your body froze at what he was implying. In all your years of knowing him, he’d never threatened you but he’d also never spoken so plainly about the life he was being groomed for. But something stuck with you. The fact that he said he makes it a rule never to hurt a woman. And it gave you just enough courage to look over your shoulder and spit your parting words at him. 

“You might want to rethink that statement, Barnes. Wouldn’t want you lying to your men about how you’d never hurt a woman,” and you stalked around Natasha and out the door of The Underworld. Your heart was thudding against your chest, anger and sadness swirling through your veins. That was not the same Bucky Barnes you knew all those years ago. Something had changed. Something had taken root deep inside him and done away with the young man you once knew. And you wanted nothing to do with the man he is now. You started the walk back to your parents’ place when a voice called from behind you to slow down. Against your better judgement, you stopped as Natasha approached, out of breath from jogging to you. You waited for her to catch her breath, the silence growing more awkward as you waited for her to speak.

“I just wanted to say…it’s good seeing you, kid,” she spoke like she was embarrassed to say those words to you and if it had been ten years ago, hell even nine, you probably would have welcomed her with open arms and the same sentiment. But Bucky wasn’t the only one who had grown. The only one who had changed. You’d spent the last decade attempting to wipe away the memories of the friend that that had left you behind. So your response to Natasha was more snarky than anything as you turned to leave her presence for the second time that night.

“Can’t say I agree, Romanoff.” This time you didn’t want for her to say anything and you continued walking back to your parents’ place. Upon your arrival, your mother must not have been able to tell that you were barely holding it together because she was asking about your night and telling you again about her friend whose son was a Senator now. The name sounded familiar, like one you’d heard a thousand times when you were a kid. But you couldn’t pay attention now. You called out a goodnight to your parents and walked up the stairs to your childhood bedroom where you’d be staying until your furniture was delivered. 

It looked the exact same as it had ten years ago. You knew that your mother would have it be some weird version of a time capsule. She never touched it, with hopes that you’d come back and live with them again. She got her wish for the one night and it was all you’d be able to offer. When the lock on the door clicked shut behind you, you broke down. For the first time in years, you allowed yourself to cry over Bucky Barnes. 

When you started crying, your tears were angry tears. You kept thinking things like “how dare he talk to me like that when I was doing nothing different than all his other patrons” and “how dare he embarrass me in front of Natasha and Steve” until they eventually shifted to tears of sadness. You were sad that the loving, kind, goofy Bucky you’d known years ago seemed to not exist anymore. You were sad that Natasha and Steve weren’t your friends anymore, so technically he just embarrassed you in front of complete strangers. You cried for your childhood. A childhood that was made up playing on the playground with Bucky and Steve, them saving you from bullies, you and Natasha staying on the phone late at night as you giggled about boys and makeup. They’d all grown up. The children you once knew, no longer present. And you had too. 

The next morning you made sure to press a cold washcloth over your eyes before going downstairs to greet your mother. When you woke up your eyes were red and puffy, a clear sign that you’d fallen asleep while crying and you couldn’t have your mother wondering why, on your first night back at home, you looked the same way you had when you’d left a decade ago. She’d made sure the cook made your favorite breakfast items and you listened to your mother drone on and on, barely listening as you attempted to drown yourself in coffee. It was only when you realized that your mother was asking you a question, waiting for your response, that you turned your attention back to her.

“I’m sorry, mom, what did you say? I was somewhere else.”

“You and that imaginative brain of yours, always thinking up some other place you’d rather be,” she had been a master of the guilt trip when you were a child, looks like that was one of the things that hadn’t changed, “I said, I was speaking with Martha Stinson today and I told her you were back in town and she was just delighted to hear that. And well, I took the liberty to set you up on a date with her son, Liam.”

The coffee you were swallowing at the moment scorched your throat as you attempted to not spit it all over your mother. She would’ve been disappointed after the years of etiquette and manners classes in your adolescence. 

“I’m sorry, you did what?” You tried not to screech, you tried to keep your voice level.

“Oh honey it’s just a dinner with Liam, he’s a Senator now you know. And he was such a sweet child, you two used to hang out remember?”

“Yeah when we were forced to because we were invited over to the Stinson’s for dinner, not because we wanted to and certainly not because we were friends!” Your voice was raising slightly, a little hysterical if you were being honest, so you took a breath and counted to ten in your head, silently thanking your therapist for teaching you that trick, before continuing to try and figure out why your mother was playing matchmaker when you’d been home for less than twenty four hours. “Mom, why did you set me up on a date with Liam Stinson?” 

Your mother’s brow quirked as if she was taking offense to the serious tone of your question but with a shrug of her shoulders her eyes grew a little softer. “My sweet girl, I just thought that it might be nice for you to get out and meet some people, maybe reconnect with an old friend.”

“Not a friend.”

“Psh, a better friend to have now than the…others…you used to hang with,” your mother sneered as she subtly mentioned Bucky and your- no his-  friends. Bucky came from money, and your family was always invited to the Barnes family dinners and charity balls and vice versa. You were always around each other. When Bucky had ghosted you, your mother had taken the brunt of your emotions. The whole situation must have soured her opinion on Bucky. You and Liam never got along. It wasn’t that you hated him or he hated you, he just always acted more uppity and like he was better than everyone else whenever you hung out. And you hated that. She must’ve seen the resistance in your eyes because you let out a breath and put her arm over your shoulders reassuringly. 

“Just do your poor old mother a favor and humor me, hmm? Who knows, maybe you could see yourself marrying him and giving me grandkids,” she added with a wink. The mere contemplation of a future with Liam Stinson had your stomach rolling as you focused on keeping the bile inside where it belonged and not on the expensive Turkish rug under your feet. 

“I guess I can humor you. When’s the date?” you sighed, resigning yourself to the fact that you would go on this date for her but that didn’t mean you’d have to like it. 

“Oh thank you! It’s tomorrow night!” she exclaimed, and she must’ve mistaken the frantic look in your eyes for one of excitement because she held you close before you were scrambling away. One glance at the clock had you pulling your mother into a hug and apologizing that you had to leave, grabbing your suitcase from the hallway as you hurried to hail a cab and make it back to your apartment in time to help the movers. You silently thanked the universe that your mother hadn’t made the date with Liam for tonight, you knew you’d be too hot and tired after moving to entertain anyone’s attempts at flirting. The rest of the day was busy and hot. You helped the movers when you could, but mostly tried to stay out of their way. You slowly began unpacking your apartment, taking time to decide where you wanted each item to go and how you wanted them set up. The movers were gone before dinner so you treated yourself to take out Chinese as you sat, truly alone, in your new home. You couldn’t help but feel a little homesick, the thought made you chuckle emotionlessly as you realized you were home, but not the home you’d made for yourself. So you did the next best thing. You opened a bottle of wine and FaceTimed Wanda.

“Oh Billy! Tommy! Come here babies, look it’s Auntie Y/N!” Your best friend squealed over the speaker as she ran with the phone to find the twins scrambling to find their mother. The sight of the family you left behind caused tears to well up in your eyes as you talked to your best friend and her little family. Jarvis came around not long into the call to tell you hello and that he missed your help with the boys already. You didn’t have the heart to tell him that you missed them just as much, if not more, than they missed you. Jarvis took over giving the boys a bath to give you and Wanda some time to catch up, even though you’d just talked to her the day before and just seen her the day before that.

“So tell me, is New York everything I thought it would be,” Wanda sighed dreamily as you made yourself comfortable on the couch. You snorted as Wanda cracked a grin. She knew your answer. She had been asking you about the city for years, she had hyper-romanticized it in her head so it was up to you to level her with reality occasionally. 

“I swear this city is crazier than when I left it,” you mumbled around the rim of your wine glass before taking a large swig and finishing your glass. When you looked back at your phone was Wanda was looking at you with wide eyes, a concerned look etching its way upon her features.

“Oh honey you only chug wine when you’re upset or angry…what happened, you’ve only been home a day!” She had switched to her concerned mother voice, a voice she used pretty well that also seemed to calm you down pretty quickly. But in order to tell her about all that had happened in the last twenty four hours you knew you were going to need more wine and a lot more patience. You held up one finger to signal for her to hold on, and refilled your glass before taking another large gulp and a deep breath afterwards. Wanda winced automatically on the other side of the country and waited with bated breath for you to tell her everything. 

Wanda was always easy to talk to. The story of the events of the last twenty four hours came spilling from your lips. She reacted at the right parts, her reactions always appropriate to whatever you were telling her. At one point she’d even threatened to fly across the country and castrate Bucky herself, you’d kindly told her that may have been a step too far but if that ever was something you needed you were glad she’d help. When you told her about how Natasha’d had the nerve to chase you down just to tell you it was good to see you, her face grew red with anger as she fussed about ‘how good it would’ve been to see you ten years ago but nooooooo you chose the asshole’s side.” Her commentary always made tough situations and recaps a little more bearable. 

She had nearly peed herself when she heard that your mother had set you up on a date. In between her laughs she struggled to catch her breath and speak at the same time, “Wait. You mean. To tell me wheeze. That your mother. Is so ready for grandkids. She set you up. Within TWENTY FOUR HOURS!” 

When Wanda said it like that it made you burst out in laughter as well. The reality of your mother wanting you to have a child so badly that she was willing to set you up with the first eligible bachelor was laughable. Eventually, your laughter died down as your eyes began to get a little heavy, likely from the entire bottle of wine you hadn’t realized you’d drank. When you held the empty bottle in front of the camera Wanda’s eyes widened yet again and the laughter started up all over. You hiccuped a good night to Wanda, and made sure she knew to give all your love to the boys, before you practically crawled your way into your bedroom, changing clothes and wiggling your way under the covers before falling asleep almost immediately.

That night you dreamed of the movie The Lion King, something you hadn’t done in years. Bits of scenes from the movie were interspersed with your own memories, causing you to sleep fitfully.

Eleven Years Ago

“You see that, baby?” Bucky purred in your ear from where he was standing behind you. The two of you had made it up onto the roof of his parents’ brownstone and were sharing kisses made sweeter by pilfered wine.

“Mmmm what Jamie?” you teased him with the nickname that always made him groan and pull you close to kiss you harder. This time he merely chuckled as he finished with his statement.

“Everything the light touches, sweetheart. Will be yours,” he whispered before biting lightly on your ear, causing shivers to run down your spine. Bucky rarely spoke about the life you knew he’d take on as soon as he graduated high school. You would’ve been blind to not realize that George Barnes was one of the most powerful, and dangerous, men in all of Manhattan. And that one day soon, your sweet Bucky would inherit the kingdom. So you chose to joke with him a little more as you turned around to face him, his arms blocking you in.

“Really, Buck? The Lion King? That’s how you wanna talk about this?”

“What! It’s how my dad explained it to me,” he teased, the corner of his lips twitching lightly, threatening to expose a sinful grin. 

“Exactly, that’s your kingdom, Simba. Not mine,” you ruffled his hair to drive home the “lion mane” joke and he fake growled at you causing you to cackle with laughter before he spoke again, this time he was more quiet, his tone taking on more of a sense of admiration than before.

“And what if I want to make you its queen?” His question caused your heart to thunder in your chest, your eyes widening at what he was implying. This time his smirk did appear as he took in your surprise and added, “cause I love you, Y/N. And my dad always told me that every king needs his queen.”

The memory-dream shattered as the sound of your alarm blared next to your head, doing nothing to quell the burgeoning headache from a night of drinking. But you sent up a silent thank you to the universe for pulling you out of the ocean of memories whose current was always too strong as it tried to pull you back in.

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[sanjisprincesswifey]

Ahhh, the prompts for your event are so cute/dramatic ❤️🙌 May I ask for prompt 39. “You could do so much better” with Kid and she/her pronouns? Tysm and hope finals are going well~ ❤️😘🥰

note: thank YOU so much anon for this request, i l o v e writing for my emo boyfriend! italicized sections imply a flashback!

♡: female reader implied. 600+ words. sfw content.

an unfamiliar smell causes kid’s nose to twitch, grunting at the burning sensation. “what the hell is that smell?” he grunts, standing up from his seat.

as if on cue you walk into the room, fluffing your hair out one final time. “has anyone seen my bag?” you ask, pretending to not notice the gawking expression of your captain.

killer clears his throat, unsure if it was to get your attention or kid’s, “why are you so dressed up?” he questions, throwing your bag at you.

the dress that hugged your body complimented every curve you had; the boys didn’t know much about fashion, but they did know that you looked so good. especially kid, who might as well have been standing in a pool of his own drool.

“a man from this village offered to take me out for a drink tonight,” you smiled, rummaging through your purse to make sure you had everything on you.

kid’s jaw snapped closed from its previous gaped position, his brows knitting tightly together. he didn’t know what to say as he watched you wave goodbye to the rest of them and head out on your way.

sure, you had been broken up for at least a month now, but he didn’t think you would move on this fast.

“i’m just asking you to act like a boyfriend sometimes kid, that’s all!” you scream, his eyes rolling with every word you speak. “it’s like you don’t even love me,” you quietly huff, crossing your arms over your chest.

kid’s jaw tightens, gritting his teeth together before he stands up and pushes past you, “well then let’s just break up since you could do so much better than me.”

he grips onto the door frame, pausing before exiting.

he doesn’t know if he was waiting for you to object or maybe beg for him to not go, but only your stunned silence filled the room, and then he was gone.

kid is quiet the rest of the night, mugs of untouched sake remain on the table. he’d usually be so drunk he couldn’t even tell his own crewmates apart, unable to get out a coherent sentence, but he remained sober, waiting for you to return.

you stumble around, a single tear falling down your cheek as you light the cigarette between your lips. you see the victoria punk rocking calmly back and forth and almost feel a sense of relief until you remember that the man you loved didn’t want you anymore.

you attempt to reboard the ship as quietly as possible, but your clumsy footsteps practically give you away.

the kitchen light flicks on as you seek a glass of water, but you jump when the light reveals kid who’s sitting at the dining table. his head is in his hands; he knows it’s you.

“what’re you doing here?” you heave, heading towards the fridge and doing your best to keep your unbothered expression despite the copious amounts of alcohol in your system.

you wait for an answer and to be honest, he’s trying to come up with one himself. “well?” you demand, slamming your cup onto the table. he doesn’t flinch or get upset, but you didn’t expect him to. you almost wanted him to, so he’d say something, anything.

“i…i was waiting for you.” he admits, surprising even himself. “i need you y/n,” he continues, his fists clenched together at the embarrassment of his confession.

you’re staring at his head of red hair, his face still was planted towards the table. but your eyes soften as the tenseness your body felt dissipates into thin air.

“well it took you long enough,” you sigh in relief, your hand running through his brightly colored hair. “why’d you let me go out on a date then, huh?” you joke as he shoots an annoyed glace your way.

likes, reblogs, and comments are always appreciated! (✿◠‿◠)

[viktorsluvr]

camilo madrigal x male reader

summary: camilo and you are best friends. recently, you've noticed that maybe you two are a bit closer than that.

warnings: technically implied homophobic encanto but not really mentioned, very short, unedited, may make a part two or something.

is this what friends did?

you laying in camilo’s lap as he softly strokes your hair, sitting on a bean bag chair in his room… You two often did this, staying up until way into the night and talking about anything and everything you had on your mind. It was way past midnight now; maybe one or two in the morning, but at some point you two stopped talking and just enjoyed each others presence. camilos eyes were closed as he caressed your hair softly, you knew he was still awake. You couldn’t bring yourself to close your eyes. You had so much going on in your mind, yet you couldn’t process a single thought.

‘This isn’t what friends do, is it?’ You knew the answer to that. The other boys your age never acted like this towards each other, instead of staying inside and basking in each others presence they played outside, being (playfully?) mean or doing other weird things teenage boys would normally do. Some of them even tried flirting with girls or even had girlfriends!

Not that you and Camilo didn’t cause any mischief here and there — but you never once saw two boys interacting with each other in the way you two did.

Did Camilo also think about things like these in the middle of the night? Your concerns only started a few weeks ago, when mirabel made a (not ill-intended) comment about you two being so close, and in the last few days when you compared your behaviour to the other teens you could only confirm that maybe you were little closer than friends normally were. “You two almost act like brothers!” mirabel said with a chuckle. You sighed. For some reason, your brain didn’t want to accept that you and Camilo were seen as brothers, but you didn’t know why.

“Are you okay?” You suddenly heard camilos voice. You looked back from the ceiling to Camilo, who still had his eyes closed. “What do you mean…?” “You sighed just now. Is anything up?” Oh right, so that wasn’t your imagination and he actually heard it. “Don’t worry, im just tired.” You yawned at the end of the sentence to further strengthen your lie. camilo opened his eyes to look at you from above, and you couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes. Cliche, yes, but you couldn’t help yourself.

‘Am I allowed to look at him like that?’

You wondered, could it be wrong, when he’s just so nice to look at?

Camilo continued to caress your hair and closed his eyes again. “If you say so.”

"she" by dodie >>>>>