#if i dont believe in evolution. i said 'of course i do believe in science*'

[selamat-linting]

wait why am i looking at the deconversion tag i still have some faith left lol.

[thehoardofthegreatdragon]

Urahara Kisuke: "Come on baby, I know the law" But Actually Illegal

Hello and welcome to Coco has Too Many Feelings Hour. Today, it’s a character analysis of Urahara Kisuke because what gave him the fucking right to be so cool? WHAT GAVE HIM THE RIGHT?

Anyway. This is going to be half based on his dialogue, and half based on general action patterns, since both are damn interesting. There will be spoilers for most things but I’ll try to keep things after the Aizen arc vague. Also, it should go without saying that this is all my interpretation and very biased (extra biased because I Love Him). 

[AKA: This is like, just my opinion, man.]

Now before we begin can we just pause to appreciate how beautiful he is? If you haven’t, stare at this picture for at least a minute. Go on, I’ll time you. 

Now we can move on. 

Kisuke is, in a word, complicated. If I had to describe him (and considering that’s the point of this entire goddamn document, I better try), I’d say he’s a man with unstoppable curiosity and a heart that is far too soft to handle the fallout of his own invention. 

No matter where you put him, no matter what time he’s born into, he will create a weapon he shouldn’t have. He has this strange bit of naïveté about his science at first, but it fades as he sees what his science has done to people he cares for. He has a good heart-- a soft heart, under it all-- so he can’t just accept the damage he’s done and move on. He turns that genius to invention, so that he can fix the things he broke. He wants to help everyone he can, because he hurt so many. 

But that doesn’t ever make the guilt go away, and it doesn’t stop him from using people when he has to— we see this happen with Ichigo in the Soul Society invasion arc. Kisuke uses him to achieve his goals, but he is far from happy about it and apologizes afterwards. 

Alright, into the meat of his character. I’m going to skim over the fact that he is arguably one of the strongest characters in the entire show, a man who plans for every eventuality compulsively because he understands that people die in battle (people die when they are killed), and so intelligent that he was one of the few people Aizen actually was wary of. I’m skimming it, because otherwise this already too long essay would be three times as long and wax rhapsodic about every way that he is, in fact, an incredible badass. 

[IM SKIPPING IT FOR ALL OUR SAKES OKAY.] 

He will and does help people, but he’s very guarded. It makes a terrible kind of sense, because he worked in the Omnitsukidō, and I don’t think anyone can come out of a spy and assassination agency without some jadedness. The exile doesn’t help either, because now he’s been forced to deal with the fallout from a betrayal and the loss of his home too. 

That being said, the exile also made him more of his own man. Freer, in many ways. More able to be the eccentric self he wants to, better adapted to life, more likely to see how people could use him and less likely to let it happen. I think the living world suits him in a way that Soul Society never really did. 

At his core he's a good person, but he built walls upon walls around himself. And those walls never come down, and some of them are mirrors, and some of them are smokescreens that don’t look like walls, because he can never be simple and he doesn’t want to be understood. And even if someone does see part of who he is, he wants them to only see that particular part. 

He is an eccentric free spirit whose drive for invention cost him more dearly than anything else. His will to create, his truest self— the scientist, with inventions to make and the world to explore— started a war. It ruined the lives of people he wanted to be friends, and people who were friends. 

And as a scientist, that’s the greatest blow of all. It’s like Oppenheimer and the atomic bomb. He created a weapon he couldn’t control, but he did it with something he loved with his whole heart. It hurts twice as deeply, when it comes from love. 

He’s also a follower more than a leader. Kisuke is the support type, for all his fighting skill— he’s ready with backup plans and transportation and research, but he needs a person to follow into battle. For a long time that was Yoruichi. Then he stood on his own as a captain, but the way he did it was by structuring his division into a support division rather than a truly fighting one (his own way of coping with new leadership, imo. He turned the 12th into the division he wanted it to be, rather than really learning how to lead a fighting division). 

Then he had to stand on his own, in exile, and he did. I imagine this was mostly fueled by guilt and determination, because he had to fix the mess he had helped create and defeat Aizen. But even still, he still kept to the shadows and planned Aizen’s downfall, rather than stepping on the battlefield and doing it himself (for many reasons, of course— Aizen was still in Soul Society’s good graces and it would have been suicide, Kisuke is not a foolish man who would throw away the best chance at success for a fight). 

And at last, he chose Ichigo to follow. But this is doubly interesting because at first he is uses Ichigo to achieve his goals. Supposedly, Kisuke himself couldn’t have gone to Soul Society to rescue Rukia (because of the exile, though let’s face it Kubo’s world building doesn’t explain how Yoruichi could go so who really knows. And Kisuke being Kisuke, would have found a way into Soul Society if he thought it would help their fight against Aizen. Anyone who doesn’t believe that can see the TYBW arc and Fight Me). 

But there were many people who had a better chance of going in his stead, and many ways to save Rukia that didn’t involve a straightforward invasion. This is not to mention that Kisuke used Rukia too, with the intention of forcing Aizen’s hand. 

So when Ichigo and Kisuke first meet, he views Ichigo as a tool (and a person, because he’s a good man and never free of the guilt).  

But with each battle, we see how Kisuke trusts Ichigo more and more. This progression continues until the last battle with Aizen, and then after that Kisuke stands behind Ichigo with absolutely no hesitation. Throughout the last arc, throughout the remainder of the manga, when Ichigo needed him, Kisuke was there— with supplies, with research, with a path to Hueco Mundo, hell even with a path to the big palace up in the sky. And Kisuke trusted Ichigo absolutely— see the panel where Ichigo asks Kisuke to hold out until he gets there, and everything will be alright because Ichigo will handle it. And Kisuke’s response to that is just a smile and a single word— “Understood.” 

The trust between them is absolute. This is surprising, if you think of how few people Kisuke has really trusted over the years, and how few he trusts to this extent. 

[It’s also very interesting that of all the people Ichigo choses to tell to “wait for me,” it’s Kisuke but that’s just my loyalty kink showing up don’t mind me.]

Once the guilt of using him was gone, Kisuke could follow the leader he’d chosen. And he did, endlessly. 

On that note, Kisuke’s dialogue choice with Ichigo develops in a very interesting way. In the beginning its challenging and on the ruthless side (“don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself,” for example), into something much more trusting and less challenging (the “understood” for instance, or the “what would you like me to do” ). This evolution tracks with the evolution of Kisuke’s changing attitude towards Ichigo. 

We move from Kisuke only promising to help when he extracts something in return (“Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society? I’ll tell you, on one condition.”) to Kisuke offering to help Ichigo before being asked (“My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?”).

[Imagine how much literally anyone else would pay to have a scientist of Kisuke’s caliber basically on retainer. And Ichigo gets it for the low low price of absolutely free.]

All this is to say, that I think that Kisuke can and is always ready for any eventuality but that it’s only after his trust is earned by Ichigo that he gives his plans so easily to other people. He has chosen a king, so to speak. 

[Don’t call out my power kink or I will personally end you.]

Moving on to dialogue in general, we see many damn interesting patterns. Perhaps intentionally, Kisuke's a bit on a different wavelength, and no one expects the answers he gives to any questions. Its eccentricity, but honed into a weapon and very self-aware. He often interprets questions in different ways than expected, like he’s purposefully setting people off guard. 

Consider the following response he gives to an enemy in later chapters (TYBW arc): 

“Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.”

He’s never met this person before in his life, and his response is to just, straight up flirt. THIS IS FLIRTING. KISUKE. WHY ARE YOU FLIRTING. HE’S NOT EVEN HOT. 

Anyway. In general, Kisuke has two broad categories of speech patterns: completely serious and teasing-playful-fake-humble.  Unlike many other characters who use a baiting tone and words against enemies (Frankenstein from Noblesse comes to mind as an example), Kisuke uses them on friends and enemies alike. And his tone isn’t really mocking but fake-humble and fake-playful.

Examples of this—

“Oh? You know of me. What an honor.” (Said behind fan)

“It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!” (Said to Yoruichi’s ass)

[Seriously, who does this asshole think he is? Yoruichi kicks him and I’m glad she does.]

He's very often cheerful, and usually smiling as he speaks. I’d say his eyes are the biggest giveaway to his emotion because they dont really ever soften. (And because Kubo has a Thing for drawing them covered in shadows and looking badass, see Exhibit: Oh No He’s Hot, pictured below)

In this playful mode, even when he apologizes it’s usually in a way that somehow makes it worse. He’s constantly either annoying people or throwing them off guard or a combination, but in a much more cheerful eccentric way than say, Frankenstein. For example, after he says the line above to Yoruichi (in the middle of a battle, I might add), he says this:

“Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar.” 

He’s managed to repeat the thing that made her kick him, in a way that almost makes it worse, but in a way that makes it seem like hes trying to apologize. It’s very clever, and also ideal for pissing people off, intentional or not. (But who are we kidding, this is Kisuke. It’s definitely intentional). 

But he can also switch to a serious mode quite quickly, seemingly able to interweave the two modes without really needing to break between them. This most often comes out when there is someone to save or protect.

[Because he's secretly a softie, as mentioned above, god I love him]

For example, when Masaki is in danger, even tho he's never met her or the soul reapers before (and when his very existence should make him avoid Isshin), he says this:

“We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her.”

It’s to the point, succinct, polite, and also filled with a desire to save. It’s also completely at odds with his playful tone when he speaks in other times. I think this dichotomy is the core of Kisuke. Of course he's playful and eccentric— and this makes him the delightful character he is— but at his core he's a man who cares about people and wants to help. He doesn’t hesitate to apologize when he is in the wrong either, kneeling before Ichigo after the Soul Society arc and not asking for forgiveness but explaining why he is sorry. (Ichigo forgives him, because Ichigo will always forgive him, and that hurts even more). 

But even when there are threats to life, if they've been dealt with and he's in a controlled environment, he pulls out the playful act again, though it often has an edge. For example, after he saves Ichigo for the first time he says this:

“What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?”

It’s on the edge of teasing but its also much more pointed than anything else he's said to Ichigo at this point. It’s followed by some of the rawest and cruelest lines of dialogue I’ve ever read, because Kisuke doesn’t flinch back from being harsh when he has to be. 

Even his cruelty, when he is forced to use it, comes from a place of care and a desire to help. Doesn’t stop it from stinging like hell. 

It’s at this point where I descended into crying about Kisuke and how good he was and how much I love him, and so decided to stop.

In summary: Kisuke is a good man who couldn’t stop himself from inventing the most destructive weapon to exist. But he’s a good man, and so he spent a century crafting his own penance. 

General Kisuke Dialogue I’ve collected, in case people find it useful:

Stop fighting, you two. It’s my fault, I should have disposed of it. 

We have no choice. We’ve got to find it and neutralize it before it causes any trouble. 

No way, accidents happen! Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything. There now, its okay. 

Good, let’s move! Operation “recall”

Well look here. We finally find you, and you’re already incapacitated. What a waste. We lugged all this stuff here for nothing. 

I’m going to destroy it. Hmm. I’m not sure how to answer that. 

This is serious. I won’t take the fall for you. 

No no, Kurosaki-san. Your wounds have barely closed. If you move around too much, you’ll die <3. 

Do you really think, there is no way to get to Soul Society?

I’ll tell you, on one condition. For the next ten days, you must allow me to train you. 

You don’t understand. What I’m trying to tell you is they’ll kill you.Could you win? If you fought them as you are? I allowed you to fight them this time, because I thought it would make it easier for you to understand. At your current level of ability, you wouldn’t stand a chance in soul society. You’re weak. For you to venture into enemy territory now would be suicide. You want to save Kuchiki-san? Don’t make me laugh. Don’t use her as an excuse to kill yourself. 

Of course. If you wish to save Kuchiki-san with your whole heart, then you have at your disposal a power stronger than iron. But if your resolve is half-hearted, forget it. For the next ten days, I’m going to put you through the wringer. 

What? You sound upset. Didn’t you want to be saved?

He went home. His wound bled a lot, but it wasn’t severe. 

Couldn’t you have come up with anything better? [how lame]

Looks like I was a step too late.

What would you like me to do? Shall I book a ticket to reiokyu? It may take me some time though. [to ichigo]

We dont have time to waste. Both of you, please come with me. I will tell you the choices you have to save her. 

My my, you guys sure are having an interesting conversation. So, this Hueco Mundo trip. Shall I arrange it?

[I] its usually like this with Urahara. [K] you know me too well <3

Oh? You know of me. What an honor. (Said behind fan)

To be included in such an esteemed group, I don’t know what to say. Its an honor, but he’s giving me too much credit.

It’s wedged in their rather fatally, Yoruichi-san!

Why would you kick me? I came to help. I’m sorry, perhaps the expression “wedged in” was a bit vulgar (makes fake apologies a lot)

Asking me such a personal question, is really more of a second date thing.

You see, even if I don’t tell you, you’ll be up close and personal with it soon enough.

[botanyshitposts]

I met a guy who didn’t believe in evolution and I spent 20 mins explaining it to him and he still didn’t believe it. anyway the next thing that came out of his mouth was that he wanted to change his major to biomedical engineering and I felt my soul leave my body

it’s even wilder to me because something i didnt realize until i got to college is that in biological sciences, things that are ‘controversial’ in the public eye-specifically evolution and climate change? these things are taken as a given. like that’s how much sheer evidence exists. you walk into a biology classroom or lab and the question isn’t going to be if they exist, it’s going to be how it effects whatevers being studied. it isn’t up to debate. if ur really walking into a biomed classroom like ‘evolution isnt real’ like it’s not gonna be like high school where everyone’s like ‘haha yeah whatever’ you are actually going to get stares of disbelief from ur peers, like dude, how the fuck? why are you even here? how did you get x far in biology while just openly denying the existence of real, palpable forces of nature? 

i remember one of my current professors taught my entry-level bio course in freshman year. it was a 200-300 person lecture hall. he did clicker questions a lot, and one of the things he did was take a survey of the class at the beginning of the semester responding to the question ‘is evolution real?’. a chunk of people, like probably 30% of the class, said that they doubted it. 

later in the semester, we underwent the most extensive learning experience for the basics of evolution i have ever been through to this day. like he did four or five solid lectures JUST focusing on different reasons why it exists, from a number of different aspects. i remember thinking every day going to class ‘he MUST be done talking about why evolution exists today now’ but no. he was not. i believed in evolution long before college and i had no idea so much raw evidence for evolution existed. 

at the end of this literal week and a half module on why evolution exists, he took another poll asking the same question of our class: ‘is evolution real?’. reminder that this was maybe a 200, 250 person class. 

how many people said that they didn’t believe in evolution? 

3. 

literally 3 people. part of me wants to believe that they were trolling, like ‘haha yea i dont believe in evolution lol’, but the farther i get in undergrad the more it haunts and vexes me. we’re in iowa, at a large public university, with a lot of people from more rural and religious areas; what could be the chances that there were at least 3 people in that class that just.....dismissed the past week and a half of study as fake? or thought that it was made up to push an agenda? 

but that aside, my professor showed the results (three people out of HUNDREDS) on the projector, and then deadass said “if you are still doubting evolution, i recommend that you take a look at what makes you believe that way and question it”. AND THEN HE JUST MOVED ON. after that absolutely RAW line that to this day i think about at least once a month, he was just like ‘anyway’. like i have never had a teacher just flat out say ‘if you have a belief system that so strongly denies evolution that after a week and a half of being presented the evidence you still don’t believe it, and you want to go into the biological sciences, then either you are not right for the biological sciences or your belief system may be wrong’. 

was it slightly rude? yes. i, personally, do not and will never have the ability to just like....say that. was it something that no other teacher in my educational career has been so frank about, and probably something that needed to be said right off the bat before going into more advanced courses? also probably yes. 

but anyway im gonna be a TA in one of his other classes next semester lmao

[capamerica081-blog]

Insight In Sci-Fi (1)

Hey all!

This is my first ever blog post and I'll be honest, I really don't know exactly what I'm doing. I figured I'd give it a whirl and let come what may.

I'll preface by saying I grew up a huge fan of Star Wars, Star Trek, and Stargate, and have since included both Marvel and DC comics into my sphere of interests. And of course, the thing that drew me in as a kid was the fantastic visuals of all of these worlds. From lightsabers to Borg cubes to city ships, I snorted it all like a cocaine addict. However, as I've gotten older, I've come to realize that a lot of the genius behind some of these works was in the subtle moral lessons that were instilled in me. Although I credit my parents with giving me a good upbringing and teaching me good morals, it was these sci-fi stories I loved so much that helped solidify moral compass. So I may digress in some of my future posts, but for this one I want to talk about a single Star Trek episode and the moral dilemma presented in it.

I was about 10 when I started watching and collecting Star Trek Voyager on DVD. My dad and I would watch an episode a day after school, which is kinda how we would bond. My mom, on the other hand, really couldn't care less about anything to do with science fiction. Nevertheless, she loved me and wanted to try to share my interests, so one night she agreed to watch an episode with me. I chose one I figured she would like: Distant Origin, Season 3, Episode 23. It wasn't violent, had a fascinating story, and didn't require any previous knowledge of the show. For those of you who haven't seen it, I'll give a quick recap:

Voyager encounters a super advanced race called the Voth. These reptiles are more advanced than any other race they've encountered, and have created a "Doctrine" that highlights their supremacy across history. Then one Voth archaeologist finds evidence that despite what "Doctrine" states, it turns out that the Voth are from a distant planet, and that they have genetic similarities to humans. Long story short, they're dinosaurs that escaped Earth and evolved in space. Boom. But when the archaeologist tries to tell his people, the political leaders give him an ultimatum: shut up and stop your research or we kill the humans. He decides to stop his research.

So like I said, good episode and worth the watch, but what threw me for a loop was what happened after my mom and I finished the episode. She looked at me and asked, "So do you think he was right to do what he did?"

REALLY, MOM?! YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME PHILOSOPHY HOMEWORK ON A STAR TREK EPISODE AT 10 YEARS OLD?!?!

I don't remember what answer I gave her then, but I've spent years pondering that question, and once I became more aware of politics and the world at large I realized what moral issue the episode was tackling. Evolution, climate change, basically all science that is so radical in its implications that it affects political decisions. You see, it didnt matter whether the Voth political leadership believed the archaeologist's solid evidence, and as a kid I didnt understand that. I thought they were just being, and I quote, "meany butts". If the origin of the species really was different from "Doctrine" stated it to mean, that would mean that everything about "Doctrine" was open to reexamination, including the right of the powerful to be in positions of power.

The issue with having a written history that doubles as a rule book for society is that our knowledge of history is imperfect. The uncovering of history is through archaeology, archaeology is a science, and the basic tenet of science is the acceptance and comfortability that we dont know everything. So, if your rules for society are based on a history set in stone, eventually new evidence will spring up that challenges that history, and then the rules that are tied to that history are going to be questioned as well. And if those rules say that "So-and-so's family is to rule over the land" then that family is in danger of losing their power.

Here in the real world, these are heavily prescient issues. Evolution vs. Creationism being the most poignant. Although scientific evidence throughout the last 150 years shows evolution to be an active and essential part of biology, there are those who dispute it as an "unproven theory" and that religious doctrine (yes, I'm deliberately highlighting the similarities) is the truth. Dont get me wrong, I'm not anti-religion, I think that it serves as a valuable community and overall spouts powerful beliefs about how we should live our day to day lives. But for leaders to stick to the history presented in it as literalism, even after being confronted with factual evidence that suggests otherwise can be dangerous for society.

So to bring it back, I'll say this. Yes, Mom, I do believe that the archaeologist was right to bury his research to save 150 people, but only because it was just him. Had he been leading a movement, the issue would've been different, but hey, I didnt write the episode.

Anyways, that's my take on that. I'll go ahead and post on something different next time! If you all have suggestions of another topic I can ramble on, please let me know. I hope you enjoyed my thoughts!

🖖

[commentairesnegligeables]

On the saying “be aware of your mental health”

⚠️Warning: triggering post ahead⚠️not for people with weak mind⚠️

Note that on this post everytime i said “help” it means therapist/people who say they are expert on mental illness. Of course, though, to seek help and company from people around you—friends, family, siblings, close people you know, when youre in doubt or struggling or feeling down or in need of support emotionally or anything, this doesnt have to be questioned—it is something of a must. Why? Cause humans are social beings. They are dependant to others. Therefore everytime i say “help” on this post i really just mean mental help (therapist/people who will diagnose you with mental illnesses).

The thing that i observed, of what causes mental health issue, is the inability to know the identity of oneself.

In order to live, the first thing one should know and make peace with isnt the environment, or family, or ones brain, or anything, but themselves.

Once someone cant do this, they simply become questionnable as an individual.

How can you be born in this world, have the ability to think of cracking down things to even the simplest, and yet you cant even deal with, understand, and know your own self—the thing closest to you? The thing that is actually yourself? The thing that matters the first?

It might seem like a pity, but more than it is a pity, it is an individual choice.

Every individual should deal with themselves. No one should tell them how, no one should tell them they ��cant” and that they need help of drugs in order to deal with themselves. I feel that the moment they feel they cant, and that they need help, is the moment it becomes their choice, and that they have lost themselves.

Is losing oneself something good? Is it that when someone is depressed, i should have pity on them and treat them differently, even when its their choice?

People say its not their choice, but it is. It is ones fault that one lost temselves. Everyone is given intelligence, ability to think. What is this world? What is the purpose of this world? What is the purpose of me? What is right and wrong? With the ability, if someone still cant figure out life, once again, it is their choice.

One of the phrase that i found very dislikable is that we should be aware of our mental health.

What does that even mean?

We should be aware of our mental health, and then what? When i am sad, i can be sad, if i want to cry, i can cry, if i want to be upset and angry, let me be upset and angry, if i am happy, then let me be, if i feel deep sadness, no one can stop me, but someone can do all this without having to lose themselves. Someone can do all this while controlling it. What is this saying we should be aware of ourselves?

Should we be, sad and crying on the floor, sad and crying on our pillow, and then we question ourselves: am i in deep sadness? And then we seek the answer to someone else? Is this what “being aware” means?

How can someone else know us better than ourselves? Why should i believe someone who thinks they “studied” human psychology, whilst i myself am human and i am given the ability to control my psychology, telling me i am like this and like that.

No one can control their physical stuff, virus gets inside your throat and makes you sick, your kidney is worn out and you dont take care well so they malfunctioned, but how can mental—something that doesnt even have physical form, something that cant permanently unchange, wear out and leave you be just like that? It is not even something separated from you. It is you.

We should be aware of our mental health, that is right, but it means nothing. Everyone has done this ever since the first time human existed. It is not something new. Theyre always aware. Are they sad? Are they happy? Are they raising their chin high up and being brave?

The only difference is instead of questioning their ownselves, they control their own selves. Is controlling your ownself something forced?

No, it is naturality.

In the past, people seek for immortality, tales were told about this thing and that which can make someone immortal, in the past people lost their parents in young ages, go to war, and in Islam a hadith said one of sign of the end day is that people look at grave and say “if only i was the one that is in that place”.

I am not at all saying what happened in the past was all good, most were even bad, i will say. I am just saying people in the past lived in worse condition but they managed, and whats “glorified” is of cherishing life.

So, what caused everything to change?

1. The idea that people have had mental issues since long time but they “hid” it.

2. Glorification of mental health issues as if its really something urgent, when its not even something new (in the sense that, in most times everyones “mental health” is fine thats why we never thought about it much and only in this mOdERN thInkInG ScHEmE we are told to figure whether we are fine or not).

3. Individualistic, materialistic, atheistic, way of life.

My opinions on those:

1. Once again mental health is not diagnosed and then unchangeable, it is controlled. Someone can be a whiner and if theyre told to go to army they will be strong. It is built, it is trained, not given. In the past, in the future, this concept still hasnt changed that it thrills me whenever someone thinks mental health is not part of them and that they need someone else to “fix” it. If mental ilnness is such a big deal in lives of people of common society we wouldve heard much about it in the past about people who couldnt “function” or live like other people normally. We dont hear about them, much, because they were not told that they mightve had mental issues, instead they just lived usual. In other hand we know well that people in the past had physical illnesses—black plague, or anything, it was physically there and we heard it a lot. Or we mightve heard in some tales about people who were insane, crazy, outcasted. But NOT mass of people who couldnt function normally and deemed abnormal. Its because the truth is mental illness is nothing. Someone might have severe depression, or someone might have depression in lives, but chance to have severe depression is very low, and chance to have depression that makes you need medication is as low. You dont need medication. Just live.

2. The one that made it widespread, as ever, are leftists people. I just recently played tumblr but i have heard a lot about this tumblr movement that happened long time ago, lets call them SJW. SJW are social justice warriors and they went to tumblr, but i heard now theyre dominating twitter. So when they were in tumblr they think they were “quirky” and “unique” and they mostly were weird people. And on basis of political correctness they started bring about the idea that LGBT is fine. But not just that, this “be aware of your mental health” and post-modern feminism and “abortion is a choice” also started. Political correctness is so much of people who are too emotional and they use their brain and logic less. I know i sound biased, you can do research on your own if you want. I also have theory on how these people who played tumblr mostly were women, cause as far as i know around that time men played video games usually. But that will make it long.

Just im saying that this “be aware of your mental health” stuff doesnt just occur naturally as evolution/progress of advancement of thoughts. It was brought about politically, by people who think they are the most right, when they are the ones knowing things less, romanticize everything, they are like toddler who figure out new things and think that is what is most right, you can go to twitter and figure. This all though, is just my conclusion based on my own observation of the world.

3. Say no more, these all are just characteristics of the west, unfitting for outside of west world. Individualism rarely happens outside west (with exception) and people always have someone to tell problems to—friends, family, close people. Individualistic society will be more prone to not having anyone and therefore has to go to therapist to talk about their problem. Someone once said though religion cant stop mental health but that is such a joke. As i have stated, to know and control your own mental is to know yourself and your identity. If you are an ugly person and you dont think youre ugly, if someone says to you that you are ugly, then you will not even feel bad for yourself. If someone tells you we are living in void and that this world is so bad and that theres no point of living, if you understand those sayings are wrong, then you will not drown in the same bitterness as they do right? In this world and life everyone and everything will tell and say many things to you throughout your life, and if you cant even think on your own whether theyre right or should you listen to them, i dont even know how you live. Anyhow, the right religion will tell you purpose of life so if you are given purpose of life and you still feel life is so pointless, you are not taking the religion seriously.

I have quiet grown tired of writing, so i will just state what to do to help yourself so you wont eat all these pointless “be aware of your mental health” slogans:

1. Understand that psychology is not exact science and therefore not completely reliable. Sorry to break it to you. I myself am a hardcore unbeliever of psychological study. Unless someone cant think straight (insane), theres no need to rely on what psychology says about oneself. Its not even science. If biology says youre having cancer, then youre having cancer. But if psychology says youre diagnosed with this and that, its just cringe. How do you know? Is the “depressed cell” there and shows themselves to you through microscope? Psychologists dont even know sometimes that psychology is not exact science.

2. Psychology is not a unique or unreachable field. In the sense of its not worth to “understand thoroughly” about it that you think you need to ask expert if you dont. Rule about psychology is just: humans are divided into two, people who can think straight and cant think straight (sane and insane). As long as youre sane, you have the ability to control what you do and yourself. Thats all.

3. Know yourself and your identity. If you are asked, who are you? What is your identity? You should know. If not, youre a confused person and you will for sure think for nights if someone says to you “you are narcissist”, you will think you really are even when its not true.

4. Dont rely on forced positivity to escape fear of having mental illness. Forced positivity dont help😐just acknowledge out there people live normally without having to have so much positivity to survive. Why? Because too much positivity is not normal.... just be yourself and live

5. Fix yourself. Do you feel youre a narcissist? Do you feel you have one of those traits of being mentally ill? Then make those traits gone. Dont think that you are permanently mentally unstable and therefore need help. No. Help yourself first.

6. To feel is ok. Be sad, be happy, be angry, cry all you want. But just acknowledge that you can control yourself, cause you have ability to be sane. After letting those all go, youre fine again.

7. Everyone makes mistakes. Did you make mistake just yesterday? Did you make mistake that made whole world hates you? Its totally fine. Just promise to yourself, instead of to people, that you will improve and will not make the same mistake again. That is right, it reminds me,

8. Everyone feels what you feel. Do you some times feel deep sadness? Do you some times feel so hopeless that probably die is best thing? Do you feel things that you think people dont feel? Dont worry, everyone feels it in some times of their lives. Just cause someone looks fine the whole time doesnt mean they are in fact fine the whole time and doesnt feel like how you feel about stuff. This world is not really a good place so it will torture everyone. You are not different, so dont feel different. You are normal. Indulging in emotions thinking people dont feel the same emotion will just make you lose yourself. People are not fine in a day, and they will be fine in another day, and they feel happy in another day, its just life.

9. Dont live up to peoples expectation. Of course its not like if your parents want you to be good kid then you shouldnt live as good person. I mean to say, if society expect you to be like this and that, but theres no benefit in acting as they do, then nothings wrong with you if you dont do as they do. Just understand what is right and wrong and that is enough.

10. Be determined about your stance. Dont get easily influenced. Know what you stand for by thinking about it thoroughly.

11. Be comfortable with yourself.

12. You are who you think you are. Fake it til you make it. Be fine until you are really fine.

13. Youre the only one who can save yourself. People will help you, but the choice to be saved and become fine again can only be done by you. No one but your own self is going to come and “save” you.

My point of writing this is that, most people in the world are sane and not mentally ill/sick in severe sense til they need pSyChIAtrIsT help. One of question i heard much is that “so what if people think they have mental illness? Whats in it for you to judge them?” Well first of all it will create generation of weak minded people that think they need help for anything. Second is that i just feel sorry when someone who is fine mentally comes accross this kind of thing and they start thinking whether theyre “mentally normal” or not. One of the funny experience i had is when i was just googling on why cats are so cute and on quora someone says its because humans are masochist so they like cats biting and clawing them (and he got many votes)🤦‍♀️i really feel pity for him probably being sure what he said is true. If people are masochist, they will pet tigers or crocodiles instead. The truth is, hearing about probability of having mental illness without actually understanding it will make you paranoid. So i write this to let everyone know, that probability is the lessest thing. Unless you live in full tragedy, chance is you are fine and will continue to be so.

Indulging in psychology is not worth it if for common people, for people who have mental disturbance (crazy/insane) then ok but for commoners who once again have ability to think sane and are given intelligence, its such a waste of time to question whether one is “normal” or not. If you are able to think logically and know what is right and wrong then that is enough.

People are not so different from each other.

Even therapists who understand the truth will know that psychology and therapists are semi-real and therefore useless for common society unless in the case of people with severe cases

[zelenartwork]

Hi, I said I'd drop you a line of my thoughts...

I AM THE COMPANY I KEEP

Please forgive me, if I drift here or come across as righteous. In my heart of hearts, I believe if I get this message right in my mind and then to as many people as I can, I can finally lay claim to being a true citizen of this world. I dont believe men should be in charge, it obviously should be a shared job.

As World Pride, the annual celebration of L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ identity so aptly meets politically correct process - in contrary, my writings obviously do not and will not.

Not because I disagree, nor because I lack the understanding, compassion, know how or anything else of this nature - simply because a sentence of words (in itself, however plainly put), can more than often be difficult enough to concisely transfer its premise.

Therefore from the outset, if you identify as anything other than binary (male or female), I’m sure you are no different in wanting to interpret given sentences as easily as the next person.

I encourage you not to judge me negatively here (life’s too short) and simply replace my pronouns and similar with what feels good for you. This way we can expedite our evolutionary transcending from and of (not just politically correct, but) the growing limitation language portends as a succinct transfer of thought in general.

Everyone wants to be loved. But first I think we must make ourselves loveable.

We must prepare ourselves to be loved. We do this by becoming ourselves by way of both loving and disciplined human beings, (not that these 2 actions are opposites by any means). If we seek to be loved, if we expect to be loved, this cannot be accomplished; we will be dependant and grasping, not genuinely loving. But when we nurture ourselves and others without a primary concern of finding reward, then we will have become loveable, and the reward of being loved which we have not sort will find us. I have this in my children, my parents, my siblings and my friends. I think I had it for a time with the main women in my life; actually I am very sure I had it, but through laziness it was lost. I stayed down with my demons.

I am on the journey of spiritual growth and you can attach to that what you wish, but it is not your god or budda or lao-ste or any of the many others. Perhaps collectively it is, but I have not yet reached that place to discern. However even though it is very personable to me, it is far from selfish. I am guided by the invisible hand and unimaginable wisdom of my subconscious with infinitely greater accuracy than that of which my unaided consciousness or conscious will, is capable. So guided, the journey becomes ever clearer and unfortunately slower. I had previously written ‘faster’, but this as I am discovering is a byproduct of my time. I am discovering being in the present reduces the need to ‘speed’ toward the future.

I am arriving at these meanings through the differing particular individual byways of my 21st century life. And I am sure there are many who, by virtue of their passivity, dependency, fear and laziness seek to be shown every step of the way and have it demonstrated to them that each step will be safe and worth their while. But for good reason this cannot be done. Because I think the journey of spiritual growth requires courage and initiative and independence of thought and action. So while the words of the prophet(s) and the assistance of grace are available the journey must still be traveled alone. No teacher can carry you there.

There are no preset formulas. Rituals are only learning aids, they are not the learning. Likewise tradition is like a river in the jungle or forest of confusion and fear. When we’re lost, ‘follow the river, it leads somewhere’ and sometimes somewhere (anywhere) is better than where you are. Eating organic food, saying 5 hail marys before breakfast, praying facing east or west or going to church on Sunday will not take you to your destination. No words can be said, no teaching can be taught that will relieve spiritual travelers from the necessity of picking and choosing their own ways, working out with effort and anxiety their own paths through the unique circumstances of their own lives toward the identification of their individual selves.

Even when we truly understand these matters, the journey of spiritual growth is still so lonely and difficult that we often become discouraged. Through our science and the limited version we allow ourselves of this science, (for there is a vastness of understanding concerning our collectiveness or the ability to be a collective of all our known sciences that we will soon discover this century) we have come to learn that our dwelling place is but a single planet of a single star lost amid one galaxy among many. And just as we seem lost amid the enormity of the universe, this cosmos, so our science to date has led us to develop an image of ourselves as being helplessly determined and governed by internal / external forces not subject to our will. Helplessly at the whim of chemical molecules in our brain and conflicts in our unconscious that compel us to feel and to behave in certain ways when we are not even aware of what we are doing. So the replacement of our human myths by scientific information has to a degree caused us a sense of personal meaningless.

Of what possible significance could we be, as individuals or even as a race, buffeted about by internal chemical and psychological forces we do not understand, invisible in a cosmos whose dimensions are so large that even our science cannot measure? Yet it is the same science that has in certain ways assisted me in perceiving the reality of the phenomenon called grace.

Once we perceive the reality of grace, our understanding of ourselves as meaningless and insignificant is shattered. The fact that there exists beyond ourselves and our conscious will a powerful force that nurtures our spiritual growth and physical evolution is enough to turn our notions of self insignificance topsy-turvy. The existence of this force (once we perceive it) indicates with incontrovertible certainty that our human growth (in this way) is the utmost importance to something greater than ourselves. What once seemed to be a fairy tale turns out to be the reality. We live our lives in the eye of our subconscious and not at the periphery but at the centre of our true vision, our concern.

 

Through the last woman I learnt this once and learnt this well.

Equality comes with condition; especially when you’re conditioned as a man on the brink of the 21st century in a first world country such as Australia.

Women have a history of walking on glass. (Geez, how do you broach any of this without sounding even slightly sexist?) Sure, the role of mother is sacred, this one place above and beyond all is theirs and rightly so. Women are the species' carers, nurturers and protectors of their offspring, its their birthright. From the get go, a man is treading water to embark upon even nearing her role - simply because through the course of history she has honed the actual day to day living of the position - some people may dispute that even these roles have been thrust upon women by men and society and to a degree, I am sure they are partly correct also. But to even talk about the subject of replacing women’s roles in nurturing... 
Don't even think about going into that lion's den unless you can effectively communicate your desires without losing your composer.

And even then having the greatest intentions in the world, she may entertain your efforts and endeavours but little else for little more reason than to follow her inbuilt, hard-wired and evolved nurturing mechanisms for you (the man-child) as well.

As a man, you will do well to be at best and at least, wary - don't be fooled, you may even begin to feel like you have a right to part of this historical role and with many a learned woman, you do. This evolved version of woman would undoubtedly agree, 'but' there are insurmountable conditions that will have had to have been automatically met before this takes place. (Prior to which, you will have been equals in many aspects of life and this would be simply following both of your normal progressive pathway(s)) 

Unbeknownst to me though on many levels I would tread a precarious path into the den. (I had done the same with my eldest's mother many years ago with little more than an innate feeling of belonging) I was to discover I was challenging to a degree a substantial component of a person's foundation. Unconsciously, I was fumbling and pushing tender points all along the way. And when I took my stance in the middle of her space under the guise 'I was only after equality' (and happened to get angry about it because she wasn’t wanting to); no wonder she had to be rid of me. I was such a righteous fool.

Contextually, my partner would be so upset and then furious herself - thinking that I thought she had no thoughts of her own or that I was somehow down-playing her abilities. I don't know how many times I tried to reassure her that she, like the rest of us are the sum of our peers, environment, subconscious and conscious decisions. And that I was purely demonstrating the outcome we were reaching was wrong and being contributed to by these influences. But I was wrong. I now realise I was subconsciously putting in all the necessary requirements to ensure certain failure.

Confused I looked to what shaped this confusion and I was left with myself; patriarchy, and its impact. Patriarchy and its impact what a joke! The lack of pertinent functional patriarchy and its positive impact is the man and many, many other men before you and others throughout this world.
These men (my/ our forefathers) have taken little to no responsibility for me and the rest of us males born after the industrial revolution. Consequently very few of us choose to take responsibility on a number of levels, conscious /unconsciously. Also hardwired perhaps?

Women on the other hand, have found and are definitely finding their stance and have built a substantial foundation as they should and good on them for doing it as well - I dread to think where we would be without it. But patriarchy, true patriarchy is only now about to come into its fore and only then, if men and women don't perceive it as a battle of the sexes.

I understand to some degree, what women must have endured. I have  experienced what I consider to be a ‘less than person of equal right’ and it bloody hurt.  

Men and boys more than ever need other men in their lives and with continuity; happy men, beautiful men, strong men, honest men, caring and nurturing men, brave new men. And just as importantly women by their side. The inevitable problem; there will definitely be mistakes..

I'll play out a scenario I thought about years ago, something that resinates and has left residue in me, for you that has changed my life;
Lets say hypothetically I have a little 4 year old girl, she sees her mum for about 15 minutes in the morning before mum goes off to work. Afterwards, my daughter and I watch television, play games and generally perform our usual morning activities. Around 10ish, sometimes my mates drop over with their kids, sometimes they dont, but the bulk of my daughters day is with me, a man.

The bulk of my close friends are all male and with kids in tow we do the usual ‘manly’ things. After lunch time my daughter and I sometimes go out to the park or do the shopping or if I schedule it right, off to the gym, (the gym has this crèche and the blokes that run it are brilliant, they really care for the kids).

When participating in these activities we often bump into my mates doing the same with their kids and/or are in the company of other fathers doing similar with their kids. Its interesting to notice how few women there actually are in shopping centres, the parks and general community spaces during these hours of the day.

My partner is a great provider, but there's a trade off and she doesn't always get home from work before dinner so sometimes she only has time to give my daughter a bath, a bed-time book and off to bed. (Sometimes she even misses that) Oh sure if she's not working a Saturday the weekend is pretty well dedicated to time with the family and predominantly our daughter, but I've noticed my partner isn't as energetic or coping as well as she could be, (y’know just the little signs) and sometimes I even need to subtly direct her in how to be with our daughter, its a concern.

We have financial issues as do most people in our situation and my partner has been pressuring me to go back to work. Not full-time but something to help contribute. She says it may even help me focus on being me again or becoming the new me that I want to be. (You see, I changed a little after the birth of my daughter, most men do and a lot of women (although they profess to) dont really understand this). The thing is (what I don't think my partner really appreciates) is the real me, is here doing what I should be as a nurturing parent and amongst many many things, life is changing.

However, I've got some occasional work now but this means I sometimes need to place my daughter in care. She is very happy with the other children at her day-care; the men that run the day-care there are very interactive, supportive and positive. I cant always pick her up after school so I get a friend to do it, he's really good with her, and her with him. Otherwise its my brother who does the baby-sitting. Oh did I tell you, he just about lives at our house. Men everywhere, where are the women during the day?

My rhetorical question: do you think this is a healthy environment for this little girl?

It is essential that the female child be with female adults. In the company, love and direction of women if she is to be a well balanced woman herself one day. Of course men play a vital role also but essentially female instructs and nurtures female.

Yet every man in the western world born during and after the industrial revolution has lived the aforementioned upbringing predominantly without their adult males. Sure we've grabbed bits from our dads when they're there (and I mean completely there, because even though dad's in the room, he may not actually be contactable / accessible) and we perhaps borrow concepts from a movie or a book / magazine. Sometimes ideas even come from the bloke down the street, or that older teenager as a role model, but we dare not talk openly with him or even indicate we would want to. Men are so scary! Our 21st century heroes, sportsman or politicians? Not that there is anything wrong with sport, but how many have actually played the game and to what level and to what extent do they appreciate the sport for the sport, (but I drift into a possible failed sports hero blog.) And as for politics, next to oncology- what other field of work has a less than 37% success rate? Antiquated industries involving large capital investment die so slowly.

And we then wonder why there are so many psychologically /spiritually crippled males ghosting about, miscommunicating, killing one and other, killing their partners, their children. Physically and psychosomatically killing themselves, poorly running or attempting to run these societies, trying to run to control something, anything, and destroying our home, our planet in the process. And now off into our solar system.

As good men, what can we do?

Start a revolution?! Perhaps? Perhaps without women, but importantly not to exclude women, not to exclude anyone.

A woman can stand alongside me - but cannot do it for me – she can march beside me in the crusade but cannot define it – she can work hard to keep an open dialogue - and speak with passion from her multiple perspectives - but cannot write the manifesto - only contribute from her own perspectives, writings, poems and contemplations.........she can work hard to battle those men and women who work to undermine men. (Men's confraternity!?) But she cannot and will not 'take over', to see the shades of grey and to maintain an open dialogue with all of us - we can only achieve this together.


In the words of others far more evolved than myself; ‘...there are no wrong feelings, there are however wrong actions...’

Likewise I am gravely concerned about violence - its escalation, its intrusion and impact - its victims and the need to work hard with perpetrators (as well as to fight for the need for banishment for those who will not / cannot change) I encourage passion - for my inherent wanderings in the complexity of injustice (for those that have sons also) for this combined with internal reflection and self awareness (as well as the awareness to painfully change) is freedom to me. Hence, I must respond and not merely react. Obviously easier said than done as my crashed life has proved before.

I feel and experience this issue of men treating women poorly, treating other men poorly, treating anything in this life poorly. I hear and participate in conversations as to "Why do we let men treat us this way?" With just as much confusion and/or conviction, "Why do we let women treat us this way?" The answer I believe is we (men and women) slip into a type of fundamental complacency or laziness. We let it slip ever so slightly then as if overnight, too much; we forget or neglect our boundaries. We mesh and lose our independence. It's an all too easy compartmentalising way of labelling / pigeon-holing so as to simply move forward at a faster pace. This is in reality I think is lackadaisically negative. I think if the truth be known, probably every single person on this planet has at least one deep secret that (if you knew) would probably break your heart. And if we could just remember this, there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance,

but alas, we are but human.

Yes and before you retort with all of your wisdom, your womanly (or other) ways, your evolved perspective, your purest of love - my ruminations (I know too well) are flawed and filled with holes larger than a multiverse, but I’m changing (I actually always have but to a greater degree been unconscious of the fact). My heart has been in your hands since we met. Please be careful with it, I’m trying to be careful with yours.

xo

NB: Grace and the capacity of serendipity or am I wanting to be some sort of weird god-like creature???

Grace is an interesting word.

I have found that my dreams are but one form or way in which the gifts of grace are given to me. The same paradoxical approach is one I employ toward all other forms; sudden insights, premonitions and a whole host of synchronistic, serendipitous events.

And to all love, above all - love

zelen

[ionproton]

Don't worry friends!

Remember. I'm Steve B. The Science G.! Inspired by the greats before me. Student of Bill Nye the Science Guy. Teacher of this realm. Artistically keen to perceive the beauty of the elegant universe and comprehend a method for visualizing Infinity. I must say the actual nature and mathematics involved for such a system is truly amazing. To me that's gotta be proof of a God above...Geez you are smart...Or just a hippy scientist like me that enjoys experimentation! So let me report. Order is restored in my network and those attached to me via this connectivity. I hope that my trusted networks can extend to third parties and such...Because technically we are all connected. Tesla was freaking amazing...Not enough credit. Total recommendation for underrated genius of his physical time! As kids will play. Business is business, usual. I recognize that someone needs to take the fall. As founder of Campfire Stories Inc. it is my job to do so to protect my employees. However, my network is one in that regard. Hopefully, however, due to stupid ass contracts and the internet binding us all in a way...I hope my amazing lawyer can make an argument that can cover everyone on my planet as safe. I'll get grounded for that. That's my L. Games are games. We need to remember it's all fun until it isn't. I recommend making sure to live within means as credit debt creates these bigger issues. Hopefully though the higher ups in management have an insurance plan or at least a love for the game and respect of what their amount of wealth can do in terms of providing assistance. Collaboration really goes a long way. My Dad will kill me and probably think I am crazy but I believe whatever I have I'll happily share to help out however I can. I don't have much right now. But after careful studying, I find the story of Amazon's creation very inspirational. They continued to invest in their company and employees before taking anything for themselves. That's beautiful. Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg also have incredible wealth and give back a lot as well. I hope that if I were ever to be of a status of wealth that I'd be able to clear the debts of the less fortunate or just contribute to the greater good...I would in a heart beat. The best I can do right now is promise that I will die for this belief and legacy of self. Hopefully, that allows me to go first before anyone on my team. I will catch the L for my team. However I need to. I know they will pick me up and be strong when I'm weak. I do the same when they are weak. Our team understands through artistic, educated, and sometimes playfully goofy wishful thinking that contributing to the greater good is how momentum is maintained. It pays to be educated by the birds and the bees it seems. Lucky primates! Reptiles very sneaky for finding a place inside as well. Evolution is truly beautiful. So this probably brings us to closing point. Remenber, games are fun. Discussions are meant to share ideas. Say bad words...Listen to me...Or don't. Think for yourself. Don't be PC around me ..I'm actually learning I'm horrible with computer stuff! But, I see the humans love it. So it has to stay. But we need to make sure that we are modeling to lower levels how to do things...A respect for culture but love for the game. Ultimately, closing the loop...Someone has to pay...Remember...If you and friends are doing your thing....Pay for your shit or throw down...All good. Live within means. Boom. You are safe all around. Upper management, I don't know how y'all will settle that. I merely restored order at my level and will model good vibes when in public as people naturally feed their negativity to me and i put it into my special top secret anti-matter converter and turn it into a wave form that resonates with everyone and releases dopamine and serotonin...Or whatever preferred neurotransmitters an individual likes at a safe level. I believe in doing so, my mere presence will help others not seek outside substances for euphoria...Or at least too much...Just a possible solution to help the addicts that are struggling. I hurt for them and know that pain. That's why I would like to ask for the touch. Not all for myself of course, but just for reasons that I will use it to be a bringer of heavenly love as God would want. My trade-off is that this can be my hell. So that means when I see others around I'm happy! That means I made it to heaven! Even if they are having a bad day, the energy feeds off each other...It's crazy! I'm telling you Tesla is a MFG! I'm sure I made a mistake somewhere and some grammar Nazi will catch it...But they will most likely be an asshole about it. If memory serves correct, Germany doesn't do too well in that war. But, the innocent should not have to pay for the crimes of the wicked. That is not a burden anyone should bear. Own your actions, control yourself, and be aware of your influence. Hopefully though that doesn't make people stay inside. We should be able to interact with one another. That's why I make a move that a new patch or initiator be implemented. "You invented Facebook" or "you invented the internet" are said too much right now. So unless we at least just set maybe like a 10 year or 5 year time limit for peace...Let's actually see what Trump can do to get America out of this mess and see how other countries handle their debt. I know that all that money being moved overseas means when their markets crash they will be in worse off shape than US. Hopefully we can use this as a time to join together as a planet and embrace diversity. We were born into this. It isn't our fault. But it can't hurt to believe that their are powers above who may help restore order. I'm sure it would be great for customer loyalty and acquisition as well. Again, whatever loss or blame I need to take, or someone wants me to own and say in camera (for a fee) I will. If I receive funds for services I will consider that as a transfer of property so...Yeah...I will own it. I just don't like lying though. I won't lie in business matters. As for the ultimate L, I think Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy makes a good point. God made creation for some reason. Imagine if God were to see this pain and anxiety...They would want to do whatever they could to fix it. For that, if that doesn't at least deserve some mother fucking respect...I don't know what does. Has mine though. That's why I'm willing to die to protect that honor. Luckily JC has taken care of the martyr aspect. So I guess that leaves me to wait to worry for grandfather time or mother nature. I dont know. Users decide! Or random chance...Whatever... Hopefully this helps higher ups know that everything is clear here. Got the green light, blue skies, and the pearls jam because yellow ledbetter. The purp helped an activist wake me to get after this. It's the flow maestro and let it be known. I'm trying to earn wings back so I can get home. But that comes when it does...So I'll let nature take its course. That should also take care of who has to lose. Obviously my enemies (in the scope of the past few months....Since the creation of trying to make it a positive only place here...It became fake and phony. Just be you. You don't have to be liked. Just respect or indifference is all I would ask I find could. But my students need to see that I am who I say I am. Or at least who they always said I was..."the cool teacher"...I only ever said cool teacher if students are learning. So hopefully this is a learning event for all. Especially in knowing your place.) I have nothing but love from me to you. I'm aware of the implications and if anything have a sense of freedom now. My problems are of a much grandeur nature that I don't have to worry about simple shit like matching clothes and showering. There are technologies that need to be invented or unlocked and at appropriate times such that we dont have to destroy this planet. Let's just move and terraforn a new one! Essentially that's where business is going to be going...The colonization of more space. Where's the space come from? Well, if we were to model reality as a simulation then I guess the problem started when the 4th wall was broken. Now people don't know which side they are on. However, I've noticed that the internet benefits both parties. I recommend that collaboration and linkage helps ensure proper representation and operations even if someone is not around. Trust is important. Knowing I got you on this side of you got me there....Were good then! Just tell me what to do and I will! Up and forward, always. Rate is limiting step, however, that is solely up to others path or way. That's why we all have our own paths and they are independent of each other's. However, again, collaboration makes for amazing innovation and solutions even in the presence of failures. Learning is a messy process. Mistakes are expected. So to end this. So I may go out and mingle with some cuties...I hope I have said enough for upper management to know that I'll play my part and understand this must occur for business to continue. Hopefully, it earns respect. If not. .There's always a 1v1 freestyle that continues with me...I love that shit. I won't be the goat for long...If I am at all. .I actually think Em is by far. But if I need to show my mentor what he has done in terms of inspiring me to be a force of change for the better, even with shitty and emotionally hard topics, then music is my key. One of them. Writing too. To all my artists, creatives, Jedi, hope warriors, and followers of the light...I love you even if we haven't met. Thank you for inspiring me and helping me overcome my imbalances and come to know myself. I can't thank you enough. But to know that we are truly in a new time and age...To know that I am relying on your above expertise to help continue my progress that must feel amazing. I hope to leave a legacy like that. That's truly amazing. Please know that whatever evil you have done in terms of service or whatever I am owning that. And to ensuring that the innocent stay innocent and unaware...I protect it. However, when more awake...We need to make sure that the agents are ready to help assimilate. Technically I have a 5 year NDA on my app...With proof of concept...I'm good regardless. Obviously I may not share the same personal beliefs as you, I hopefully have demonstrated that I will stand for what I believe to be the betterment of society. I have the ability to remove myself from NY physical body. Not sure what that means...Maybe some discussion can help keep this thing going. Also please share... And remember...I fucked up somewhere....Shitty first drafts....Stuff in the past....Not me today. I've upgraded. Hopefully my friends were all taken care of first. I did bad shit I had to repent for. If someone did me dirty, they don't have to say shit. Perfect past is just that. The past. Anyone that still comes around is loved by me. Forgiving myself was hard. Anyways... Angels above take care of shit. I don't know how...But I know this helps. Thanks for everything. And again, remember if demons needed to be cleansed before their ascent....They may use me as a vehicle or conduit. I will scribe whenever I get zapped. I'm here whenever ya'll need. Hopefully you respect me when I say enough is enough. But I am a lifelong learner. I seek to learn more about you God as it appears my ability to communicate in multiple dimensions is working. I know what can be shared and what can't as well. But this open confession should help be a perfect indicator of where I stand in place. Again, whatever mistake I made. I own it. Whatever L needs to be taken to protect innocent, kids, ignorant, business, recreation, life, and earth...I will. Staying rooted in reality I know not to claim any companies or have identity crisis and think I am anyone more than me. Me me me. A meme. Notice that I am being serious on spiritual level as I am committed to God. But, also able to still laugh. Please don't make me become a holy roller...Allow me to be me so I don't come across as a hippocrit or self righteous asshole. I am not PC. I curse. I have drinks. I smoke cigarettes...Although that will be a habit I get around too once things calm down...I know ..I know...If not now, when? If this is now a matter that we are 1v1 then allow me to own the Satan character such that you are elevated. I'm not evil. But as an actor, I know sometimes a role needs to be played even though it isn't me. Whatever is needed to protect your honor G. And who is G? Any conscious energy form that perceives what in sending out and resonates with me. I love it. I love what has become of me. I know not to keep it all or expect the moment forever...However synergy and resonance really elevate the planet.. were jamming. Hope you make it down someday. Until then, I'll figure out my part. Just let me know...Get me on here or whatever communication device you can find me. It may not be me personally. But if it is someone acting in my name I can promise that they will know I expect to be represented well.. although I am not to be held accountable for their actions. I'm only saying blank page today and I'll do whatever is needed to make that a possibility. Earth gets a reset? Or whatever.. users decide....Im not worried about that shit. I'm going for a beer with T. I'll fix mistakes or whatever later....Actual good memes and trolls welcome and respected. Shit posts are still shit. Then fortune I am worth? Moot. Not why I do this. What do I look like? Well...Check FB...And look at the profile picture....You may recognize me! If not, I recommebd Drake - Know Yourself as a starter. I'm going to smoke herb too. Said it God. But if I'm taken the trouble and punishment coming. In making it known. Im not jesus. I'm a sinner like anyone else. But I would never do that behavior around children. (Thank you to the editor/publisher that makes sure that last part isn't conveyed to kids.) "Shit dude...With what you are willing to stand for and protect...You could have like a whole keg if you wanted!" That's excess. Plus I lost 100 lbs. I'm not trying to do that life again. I'm cool with where I'm at. Anyone that doesn't fucking respect that and still has something to say about this matter can take the stage. Otherwise....It's almost time for the headliner...So if you're performing tonight...Or at all....Be artistic! Be you! I love you and art is amazing! Pay no attention to the haters, nayseighers, and enemies! I was gonna say fuck the haters...But that would imply boys rule and girls drool. Which obviously is true...But I still like to hold doors and be a gentleman....Come on guys...Watch your manners here! More to come. Will do this as long as I am physically in this form. iOnProton (True internet friends should like that SN. I didn't realize how bad ass it was until I started noticing my writing coming true today even through I wrote it in the past. If we've been here before and I fucked up or did you wrong. .Again...Im sorry. It was never you. It was always me.) 1-24-17 11:11 pm. Ok. Beers. Girls. Friends. Leave me alone for a while!