#if i don't put effort into being femme people Will read me as a guy. my pussy does not change this

[genderkoolaid]

the thing that's so annoying about the state of the Trans Discourse here is that anti-transfem transmisogny and anti-transmasculinity both contribute to making trans people unwelcome unless we are deemed close enough to cis women. countless trans men & mascs & FTX people have had the experience of being alienated or directly kicked out of queer spaces for being too male/masc. but people have this absolutist perspective that this must be an experience ONLY had by trans people assigned male & that trans people assigned female are only ever read as feminine and female in the exact same way cis women are. because if we acknowledge that then maybe we'd have to acknowledge how trans (& intersex & GNC) people are demonized in relation to our real or percieved masculinity and maleness

[ciaran]

kindly dont read

my ex bf said i was the first trans guy he'd dated after discovering that he himself is pretty firmly a trans guy and some of our relationship was based on that assumed parity of experience (i was also newly out) & a shared identity. but there was, frankly speaking, no real shared identity. he attempted on multiple occasions to influence my gender presentation, because he wanted to help me be comfortable in my skin and comfortable with…presenting myself as attractive in a masculine way or something like that, i don't know, he wanted to dress me up. this was ridiculous to me, but i let it happen, because i was interested in whatever he was getting out of it (he really wanted to affect me, among other things). but that's bc he was very femme back when he didnt yet id as trans in any way, and he still cared: when he did put effort into his appearance (which was as frequently as his depression allowed) he thought about it a lot. a lot of his thoughts were dumb but that isnt important, what matters is that hes the kind of person who thinks about how other people see him and wants to influence that. and anyway its just kind of funny to me how this felt not very different from being feminized for weddings and family functions, even if it led to some spark of "oh i look good" it all felt so very meaningless and puerile

[hanjifuck]

.˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆ stray kids ideal types - series .˚｡⋆ ༊ .˚｡⋆

bang chan version ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ

based on their birth charts! s2

✧*:.｡. t/n: i'll be using SIDEREAL astrology on this one. it's also important to say that when we talk about romance in astrology we have to fully analyse the couple's birth charts individualy at first and only then apply compatibility analysis so we're able to check out the synastry overlays.

✧*:.｡. t/n: kinda proofread. <3

the basics:

someone who has sun in virgo or in the 5th house;

aquarius and gemini moons are the ideal but aries moon is also great, libra is good, leo and sagittarius moons are a maybe. capricorn and cancer moons are absolutely a no;

venus in virgo, scorpio, cancer or capricorn;

mercury in virgo (or capricorn/taurus).

obviously there's way more aspects to look into to see if a relationship would work but i'd rather not go too deep into it right now.

a person who's patient and honest. he takes his time into getting to know you before he commits. so, when he does commit, there’s no room for him to change his mind. he's worthy of a romance novel. he will make sure that the bond is strong and stable for both.

someone who's good at communicating, reading people's intentions and has a good sense of humour. he tends to use his voice to express himself and he's such a sweet talker when it comes to romance. communication and intellectual rapport are his thing, so it's important for him to have someone who he can talk to. so good at covering it up his intentions or even lying (but you guys didn't hear this from me), except that he tends to tell the truth in almost any and every situation. he loves to tell stories and to see the smile and hear the laugh of the loved one.

a partner who's not afraid of commitment and long term relationships. listen to me, this man is looking for a soulmate connection, someone to pay him due attention. he's a romantic at heart and has a strong need for love in his life, it being his ultimate driving force, a passionate lover and he knows how to maintain the flame of true love. without love he would be nothing.

someone who knows how to talk to people and be pleasant during social situations.

someone who's highly vulnerable and revealing with him, ONLY.

a person who's adventurous. he does not know how to stay still, he wants to expand and has a hedonistic type of approach to how fun should work in a relationship. he can't be more happy then when his able to impress you with his creative side. if you like an intellectual approach to life you will love it as well.

a positive person, someone who's optimistic and make things seem easy.

an intense, bold, strong-willed and powerful person. would love a partner who knows how to stand up for themselves. he wants besides him a person who can make the world kneel in front of them.

someone who will do anything to seduce him.

someone who challenges him (in a good way, ofc). he loves to be dared as he sees it as stimulating, a reason to try even harder, to put even more effort in. he's prop to play mind games (maybe manipulating, even if it's not his intention, since he makes everything sound so wonderful). often fueled by curiosity and a desire to control/possess others for himself *only with those who he actually loves since he sees romance/sex as super meaningful, on a soul level thing, and focus 100% on the person he loves.

emancipated, educated and high intelligent individuals. a pretty face will never be enough, sorry. virgo sun in the 5th house? pfffff this man is a genius.

someone who's younger or appear youthfu/has a youthful personality. he needs a eager-to-learn-and-to-enjoy-life-with-him person. channie's prone to take up the dominant/leading role in a relationship as well. it's like he has this strong pedagogical (?) side to him (and once again my theory that he would be a teacher if he wans't in the entertainment business is proven right ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

a person who's not avoidant or keeps to many secrets. if you keep stuff away from him he may misinterpret things quite easily.

a partner who's as clingy as he is. channie does not stand being alone for too long. he needs your warm touch and gentleness.

a freedom-lover type of person, someone who seeks inspiration and fun. he's extremely motivated and light-hearted, very flexible and adaptative.

a person who knows how to encourage him. basically someone who knows his intentions almost better than he does. he has a need for validation and appreciation cus sometimes he fixates on certain ideias but doesn't have what it takes to go further with it.

someone who would enjoy having kids, taking care of them, educating them together, and is family-oriented. he would love to have a partner who's as excited as he is to mentally stimulate his kids. very inclined to having lots of children. he wants someone who has the potential to go all the way to the finish line. man's want commitment.

a person who's charming, "feminine", sensuous and romantic. he's not interested in a person who is crude. he has strong yang energy on his birth chart so it's a good thing if your chart is yin energized. the whole thing about lighting up candles, putting on some romantic music is important to him. may be enticed by a person who has an overly sexual appearance (SPECIALLY if you have scorpio sun or rising), femme fatales (the energy, not necessarily a woman) are just right for him. maybe someone quite mysterious as well.

someone who's painfully monogamy. you can trust him on remaining faithful, as long as his partner do the same. trust is important for him and when it comes to love, it's absolutely essential. if you don't want to lose him forever you shouldn't break his confidence. he rarely has any interest in casual encounters, not being the type to take different people home every night. loyalty is such a turn-on for him, cute. he wants to be only yours, so he expects the same from you, not wanting you to even look at other people. the more committed to him, the deepest his love is.

someone who's not shy. he’s a non-conformist, private person and rather do his own things, away from the public eyes. remember when he said he usually likes "dark things"? man wasn't lying. he knows exactly who he is and what he likes even tho society might shun him for it. however, he does not care. <3

a person who's devoted and dependable, who's also ready to work by his side. someone who knows how to handle his possessiveness and maybe even suspections. just be honest with him and patient enough to put him at ease, assuring him that he's the only one who deserves your attention and love. his jealousy may be really tricky.

okay, this dude has mars and venus conjunct pluto in scorpio. do you guys know what this means? i would DIE to make this man love me!!!!!!!!! help. he will be SOOO OBSESSED WITH THE PERSON HE MARRIES, IT'S INSANE KDISADJADNAUS HELP ME.

[onemattwolf]

Gender is so complicated, more to explain than anything else.

Identifying as agender feels more like me, for my own sense of self.

Saying i'm transmasculine is still the most accurate descriptor, considering my general presentation and choice of transition.

Saying i'm a transman to people who wouldn't understand the other explanations, or on medical forms, makes the most sense considering the above points as well, and to respect my own transness and not have it erased.

Being more open as agender though has really started to topple things a bit. It's like it's given people permission again to just treat me as a woman. And that fucks with my dysphoria so much more than being read completely as a man. I put all this effort in, I love who i'm becoming. I'm gaining more self-confidence in who I am that it's less tied up in what people choose to read me as, but, it does sting.

And then I get lectured by friends telling me that i'm limiting my dating choices too much by not dating straight guys. But honestly, if they're into me at this point, can they really call themselves straight? I get read as a dude maybe a third of the time by strangers--would they be comfortable with that? I love myself too much these days to allow myself to be chronically misgendered for someone else's comfort. And i gotta hold myself more accountable, too. Having the higher libido from T means I have to sometimes ignore the horny gremlin that lives in my brain that would absolutely ham up the femme just to hook up with a super attractive straight dude. I mean, if i was in a really good space and knew I just wasn't denying my own discomfort (which would probably come up later), and if it was a no strings attached type of situation then hell i maybe would consider it. But I need to make myself more aware that i'm still in the early days of unlearning my immediate people pleasing/self denial of my own discomfort in favour of making other people comfortable, so this really is something i gotta be careful of. I'm allowed to have standards.

And, hell, i've had a lot of interest from attractive bi people. I really don't feel like i'm limiting myself much.

I just feel like i may be at a crossroads. Maybe i don't have the self confidence i thought i did that would better allow me to confidently describe myself as agender and still defend my presentation and transition choice. I think i was there, but then life stuff and depression threw me on my ass again.

At the very least, i had enough gumption to ask this dude straight up if they only date women/would only read me as a woman. We were chatting awhile and having good talks til i realized their profile said straight. But also questioning? Which... I dunno. In my early transition days i had to dodge a few bi curious men who were more looking for an experient. I don't want to do that again.

Ugh. And then there's the heteroflexible label i see sometimes that i'm so confused by.

I hate feeling like i'm overcomplicating this. I just don't want to fall into old bad habits and hurting myself

[anastasiaskarsgard]

Okay thank you for taking the time cause this is a long one. It's kind of a bit to unpack so I'll give you some background about me first. I'm a guy, I'm 24, and as far as kinks I'm firmly on the submissive side. Recently through some self discovery I'd kind of figured out I'm asexual, I just don't ever really feel sexual attraction the way most people do. Basically, last week I was at Universal for their Halloween Horror Nights and in one of the houses there's a section for the "Kitty Cat Club" where there's a bunch of femme fatale catgirl demons. Anyways. One of the actresses had a voice line directed RIGHT at me, where she giggles a bit, and says "I could just eat you UP" and when she says "up" her voice goes deep or pitch shifts. For whatever reason, that particular instance, uh, really set off some fireworks in my brain, but I guess I…. Don't really know exactly WHY? I will say I'm certainly into cat girls, but I'm really not into vore, so the threat or implication of being eaten wasn't it. After I've thought about it a bit I think it's the idea that she's trying to "hide" her cat/demon side but she can't quite contain it. (I can DM you a YouTube link and time stamp to what I'm talking about)

Sorry, I know this is like, a LOT. I guess why I'm writing this or why I'm asking you is I guess I just need to put this out there and see what other people say about it, because quite frankly, ever since then I've been trying to figure out how to replicate the response I felt from it, and the moment has also just been swirling around in my memories the entire time too. I just think it's so specific! 

Sorry, I know this is a lot but I promise I'm gonna wrap it up. I don't expect a whole like, psychological evaluation or anything (please don't put that burden on yourself, lol) but I guess maybe if you've ever heard of or encountered anything similar you might just have some thoughts? Or idk, just thoughts about it in general? I don't know. I'm sorry, it's just uh… kinda been driving me crazy and putting it out there I think (hope) I'll feel better about it/ have a better understanding, I think I'm kinda in the middle of a big sexual self- discovery and that's why I'm like this. Again sorry for the long ask, and I'd really appreciate any response or thoughts you might have, thank you for taking the time to read though (:

One thing is for sure, you’re not asexual. I’m not an expert, but as far as I’m aware, asexual people never experience any type of sexual, or romantic attraction. They are totally fine and content alone romantically and even go as far as experiencing negative reactions to sexual stimuli. So at least we can be rid of that possibility.

Now as far as being a submissive attracted to a very sexualized woman, that’s understandable. It doesn’t seem to me like the cat cosplay is as attractive to you, as the the danger element. You might even be turned on by the idea of being taken by an aggressive woman that takes away your choice and treats you like an object.

Demons are generally overpowered and consider humans wants and feelings very unimportant when they choose to take one. They take what they want unapologetically and take away their victims right to choose.

Maybe the thought of being so desired by a dangerous attractive creature that they consume you with or without your consent is arousing. Losing yourself to someone and being completely at their mercy could be what’s the underlying appeal.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being into that, and while it’s rather specific and will be more difficult to find someone that fits that role, it’s not impossible. I’d recommend being upfront about your preference early in the relationship, to gauge if it’s appealing for them as well. You want to be sure that your partner shares your kink and is not playing along to please you at the cost of their own happiness.

A little side note… you could just be into the girl dressing up. Cosplay takes a lot of effort to be convincing most of the time, so it could just be the feeling that you’re worth all the effort.

No matter what the reason, no need to apologize for what you’re into.

Personally if you told me that was your fantasy, I’d totally be down, but I like dressing up. I wouldn’t think you’re weird or anything, just lots of fun. Lol

Hope this helps