#if i didnt adore boxing so much it would honestly just be easier to get the same endorphin kick from getting tied up a little ykwim

[sodrippy]

sucks that i have to keep my nails short for boxing bc i do so love the feel of having a little claw, i just love boxing more so we make sacrifices etc 🫡

[strawberries-n-sugar]

Rosie's Babysitter (ch1)

Sherlock Holmes, a date? That couldn't possibly be a thing. Not a real date, something that wasn't a act for a case. By choice? Sherlock couldn't wrap his head around the idea as he swirled the coffee in his mug.

"Are you ready?" John asks as he enters the flat. "Yes, is this really happening?" Sherlock asks with his brows furrowed in question as he stands and sits his mug down. "Yes, I don't believe it either," John laughs.

John was trying to get back out there finally, Rosie was almost four now and he thought it was time but he asked Sherlock to double date with him to make it a bit easier.

"Who is my date?" Sherlock looks to John at his sisde as they trot downstairs. "Surprise, but it is someone who I knkw can tolerate you and you can tolerate them, just trust me. Thankyou, by the way"

Sherlock rolls his eyes, "well alright, and you're welcome ....I'm happy for you, really. Mary would have wanted this..."

"Thanks, yeah I suppose I have been-well, Mrs Hudson is happy too," John chuckles. "Yes, she has been on you about it," Sherlock smiles to the sidewalk, "you have been what? Sexually frustrated?" "Oh my God Sherlock," John walks a bit faster.

"It is completely natural," Sherlock continues, "so, who is my date?" "I told you to just trust me"

"Did you call Y/N to watch Rosie?" "Sherlock. Can you please try to relax, this isn't even your date if that makes you feel any better." "Actually, it does," Sherlock smiles smugly as they walk into the resteruant and John waves to you.

You were already in a booth and since it was a date you decided to do your makeup and wear something semi-nice in comparison to your everyday jeans. You wore a brown dress that much resembled one from the sixties that you could twirl in and painted your lips a burgundy. "Hi," you stand smiling and wave to your friends.

"John, Y/N? If she is here, who is with Rosie?"

"Mrs Hudson," John walks over and joins you and Sherlock reluctantly follows. John's date shows up a few moments later.

"Hello," she greets and introductions are passed before she sits next to you.

"You look lovely," John smiles, "you both do. Right Sherlock?" "Hmm? Oh, I suppose Y/N's lipstick is a bit much and isn't really her shade but the dress is nice. Is it vintage?"

"Uhm, yes, Thankyou. I didn't think the lipstick was right either but I don't wear makeup often so out what I had it was the best choice. The dress, Im not sure to be honest, but thankyou.....speaking of Rosie, I wanted to speak with you both about something...."

"What is it?" John asks curiously

"I would still care for Rosie,I adore her-today I got an offer....I was asked to, it is embarrassing," you admit as you rub your neck. "There is no judgement here Y/N, but if it involves Rosie and if I need to find a new sitter I need to know, also you our friend and we care about you"

"Thankyou....I was asked if-," you stop short trying to access how to properly say it.

"Oh just spit it out," Sherlock snaps in a annoyed fashion, you knew he just didn't want to be on a date. Now you were thinking he just didn't want to be on one with you and that was okay too. "I was asked to be a surrogate mother...."

"Why on earth would you do that?" Sherlock asks with a face of disgust.

"It would really help the couple and they are paying nicely a-," you stop yourself before you admit something you regret.

"I think that sounds lovely," she defends you.

"So do I," John smiles, "you started to say something else?" "Hmm? Oh, n-no I didnt"

"Yes you did," Sherlock spits.

"It isn't important"

"It isn't?" He raises a brow.

"No....," you avert your eyes to the food.

"Y/N, are you alright?" John checks on you and you simply nod and smile.

"Sherlock, what do you think?" "Why does that matter? I am not with you, it is your body and your decision,why would I have a say?" "You're one of my only and best friends, please....I care about your opinion"

"Alright, I don't think you should. You don't have much going for you side from being young and able to reproduce and if I am guessing correctly a virgin as well, those things matter to some men so if you went through with it it would make changes to your body that would diminish some of your only attributes you have to offer." "......Thankyou," you regreted asking him now but it was honest, that is why you admired Sherlock.

"Sherlock." John scolds him, he and his date look at him.

"It is alright, I appreciate his honesty," you assure them. "Y/N, you have so much more than that going for you," John tries to make you feel better. "Yes, I think you are pretty," his date, Teresa, adds. "Thankyou all, really," you smile. "Are you?" "Pardon?" You glance back up from your plate to John, you had been fiddling with your fork and spaghetti.

"A virgin, he wants to know if you are a virgin," Sherlock replies.

"N-No," you answer honestly. You weren't, you had only ever been with one person but you werent a virgin.

Sherlock squints and focuses in on you, leaning his head back, "I can't tell if you are lying," he admits.

"Take her word, it doesn't matter either way," John says. "I do have to ask Y/N," John goes on, "if you were to do this and were then to meet someone, well, it may have an affect"

"Yes, I thought of that," you admit. "....Im sorry, I think I need to go. Excuse me, and thankyou for the dinner and letting me talk," you hug him and Teresa goodbye before going; walking home with tears streaming down your face.

"Really Sherlock?" John shakes his head, "I think you hurt her feelings"

"She asked," Sherlock shrugs innocently.

"Well, she seems lovely. Rosie is great hands," Teresa smiles. "John, would you like to....walk in the park?" "Walk in-oh, oh yes, it is gorgeous at night. Goodnight mate," he taps Sherlock's shoulder and leaves with her leaving a dumbfounded Sherlock and the cash for dinner he said was on him on the table. "Sir?" The waitor comes over, "is everything alright?"

"Uhm, yes, I'll just have three to go boxes for those," he smiles awkwardly and points to your barely touched plates. "Yes sir"

[pbandjesse]

I just got it in my head to cut my hair. Not the length but all my layers had grown out and my ends felt fried. So that was fun. Today was incredibly busy but honestly just a really good day 

I slept okay enough. And I woke up a little before my alarm. I bothered James for a bit but I got up and made the bed and went to get ready. I felt pretty cute. And I was looking forward to my day. 

And I was totally right that Chris was going to throw me in a group so I had to stick up for myself. And I got exactly what I wanted. I was with a group all morning and working on prep and having that one class in the afternoon. Charlotte is wonderful and was okay with it and that made my life so much easier. 

The kids I had today were excellent. Could not have asked for a better group. I brought string and clay and looms over and they were so excited to learn. Most of the girls (and one of the boys) spent the whole morning making bracelets. 

They were such good listeners though and so easy to work with. We went to "the museum" which is a little library room in the lodge, to return books and help clean up, and to get a few other books. And then back to the art shed to hang in the hammocks and play with clay and work on bracelets. It was just so chill. 

We went up to horsemanship and we were a little early but that was alright. We hung out at one of the picnic tables and then one of the dachshund dogs, Baily, came over and after all the kids pet them one of the boys were like "Hands off!!! It's Ms Jesse's turn!" which I didnt even ask for but was so sweet.  So I sung the panda bear song to Baily and the kids thought it was so cute and then Baily wouldnt stop following me. Adorable. 

We headed out and said goodbye to the horses and took the secret trail back to the fort. We had lunch. I had them all eat at their own bunk and then we cleaned everything after. And since we had some time before the pool I was like. We will go hang in the hammocks some more. 

But then I got a call that some of the kids were getting picked up right then. Get them ready, get them outside. Weird. It was going to storm later but like. The sky was clear now, so this wasnt an early pick up. 

But they left and I took the remaining 5 to the art shed to chill until Charlotte came for them. Which is when Charlotte told me that all the kids that were in one counselor's group last week were going home because she was sick. My heart was racing. I had to go sit down. Apparently the health department says were good as long ad those kids left until results came back. But jeez. Alexi had a conversation with me later and it seems like its going to be okay. That its just a cold. But man. Its scary to think about. I am so worried about everything all the time and that was not good for my heart. 

The rest of the day was supposed to be prep. And it was but it was also just so busy!! I had the kids from yesterday come back and they continued to be very small and silly and sweet. They painted and enjoyed the hammocks and I worked on some prep. It was good. 

Once they left I got to work on my worry jar example. The material Heather got for me to do it seems to be perfect. I am excited to experiment with it more. But I wasnt sure how long it would take to dry so I decided to take it on a walk around camp. Show Heather. She was very excited and thought it looked super cute. 

I made a stop at the trading post and asked if some teens had free time they come help me sort out strings. And Olive was like. My teens!! They will help!! We have nothing to do!!

So I was like. Uncomfortable because I hate asking for help. But I sucked it up and they honestly were just wonderful. They were so super helpful. They were silly. They were there with me for a few hours and they made things look so neat and clean. Olive mostly dealt with embroidery floss, some of the girls did the yarn, one girl did the sewing box. The boys were given the task of smashing tiles for mosaics and they were having way to good of a time. It was so silly. But because they were all doing those things I could just work on setting up things for the next few days and next week. Amazing. 

I started getting a head ache though. The sky was getting dark and there was thunder. I think the pressure in the atmosphere was giving me a head ache. But I was in such a good mood with this group of kids. We somehow ended up talking about periods and abusive relationships and body piercings? They had good questions and I dont mind explaining things. They were sweet. 

Once they finished cleaning things up, they headed out. I was pretty tired. I hadnt taken a real break today. Busy busy busy. So I spent the next half hour just laying in the hammock. But then I felt guilty so I finished cleaning and went to the office. 

But soon it was time to leave. I had a head ache and I was worried about the rain. And the rain did hold off. Until about half way through my drive home. It came down hard. And people still dont seem to understand that I CANNOT SEE YOU if your lights are off!!! So it was slow going but I got through the rain and it was dry the rest of the way home. 

When I got back here James was out. He was getting us veggies for dinner and was home before I jumped in the shower. 

I felt a lot better once I was clean and in pjs. James made us a lovely pasta dinner. And I played animal crossing. Said goodbye to Keaton, our first campsite villager, who is finally moving away. I hope we get a good friend next. 

We have just been hanging out since then. I cut my hair. And now I am going to go get ready for bed. I hope we all sleep well tonight. I hope tomorrow is a wonderful day for you all. Goodnight my friends!!

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [15] {Roger Taylor}

A/N: Medium smut. 

[masterpost]

The day Ash hears Doing Alright on the radio at her favourite cafe, she screams. This, of course, upsets the other patrons considerably, but before anyone can complain, she’s shoving her fabric samples and sketchbook into her bag, sculling her lukewarm hot chocolate, and is bolting down the street. Until, of course, she’s winded enough to slow down, and decides it’s easier to catch a bus to Brian and Roger’s apartment.

She’s been there before, it’s where they insisted on having their first fitting, since it was the apartment with the most room, and sometimes on afternoons she hangs out there with the band and Mary, sure, it’s not like she’s a complete stranger to the flat. Knocking on the door, she’s breathing heavily, still excited, and she’s not sure why she’s come here, rather than to see Freddie, but as soon as the door opens, she knows why.

“I heard you guys on the radio!” Barging past a confused Roger into the living room, she turns on her heel, still a little out of breath from having run from the closest bus stop, and her smile is blinding.

“Really? Which station?” And instead of asking her about her state, or the book bag on her hip, he’s elated, making his way to the radio in their little shoe box kitchen. Ash laughs, joining him, sheepishly admitting that it was about twenty minutes ago, but he’s undeterred. “Grab the phone; we can call them up and ask to hear it again.”

The station’s blaring some Beatles song by the time they get to it, but Ash is sitting on the counter, waiting patiently for the song to end so that the radio host could announce which number to call for requests. Roger’s buzzing about the kitchen, talking how apparently Mary’s heard them played at Biba too, and his mouth is moving a mile a minute, but then the number is said and Ash is dialing as fast as her fingers will allow. With her legs hanging off the edge of the counter, Roger taps at her knees, lips pressed together where he’s trying to keep his excitement quiet.

When the host picks up, and Ash says her name tentatively, only to hear it come out of the radio a few seconds later, Roger whispers ‘holy shit’ and Ash has to fight to not say the same. Clearly and carefully she requests Keep Yourself Alive, and specifies who it’s by and what record it’s on, and minutes later, the opening notes of the song waiver from the radio, and Ash hangs up, wide-eyed. Jumping from the counter, Ash dumps her bag beside their sofa, absolutely butchering the vocals where she struts around the room, pretending to be Freddie, loud and unselfconscious in her excitement. Roger’s matching her energy, throwing himself onto one of the metal folding chairs they had as dining room chairs, air drumming and providing harmonies that would have worked if Ash wasn’t almost completely tone deaf.

As the song moves to an instrumental section, Ash changes to enthusiastically air guitarist, jumping up onto the sofa, expression almost comically intense.

“Well, I loved a million women in a belladonic haze,” while Roger suspected the notes were entirely in her vocal range, she didn’t seem to be able to hit one, and after a moment, he’d dissolved into laughter, and wrapped his arms around her waist where she was posing with a foot up on the arm of the sofa, spinning her around before putting her back on the ground, and the drums kicked in on the radio, and she looks so fucking proud. 

“That doesn’t sound half bad.” She says, grinning up at him, and he’s still got his arms around her.

“Unfortunately I can’t say the same about your singing, love.” He snickered, and Ash felt herself blush as she swatted at him, too excited to be properly annoyed, also too self aware to call him a liar.

“So you don’t think I could take Freddie’s place yet?” She asks, and Roger actually laughs at that, and Ash thinks she can feel his heart beating fast. “Where’s Brian?” She asks, voice dropping to a murmur, her own blood rushing as the song continues on.

“Still at class.” And there’s the hint of a question in his voice, and Ash’s smile stretches into a mischievous grin, something almost fond in her eyes.

“You guys are on the radio.” She murmured, pride in her voice, though her eyes are growing dark as her gaze drops to his lips. “Rog?” And he makes a hum of acknowledgement, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing or kissing her before she can finish her thought. “Does that make me a groupie?” 

“Well groupies are usually throwing themselves at me.” He said with a cocky smirk, sitting them both on the sofa, sinking into the worn, brown fabric as Ash straddled him.

“I practically bolted to your house.” Ash had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, sitting back on his thighs. One of her hands was on his shoulder, the other playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, and Roger leaned into her touch, just a little. 

“I’m not usually accosted by girls who wear the same clothes as my dad in summer.” Roger snickers, eyes drifting down to Ash’s choice of attire. She’s quiet for a long moment, and realises that he’s probably never seen her dress so casually; she’d just intended to get some sketches done at the cafe, she’d never intended people she knew to see her, and so her choice of oversized, pale blue button-down with rolled up sleeves and paint smudges all over it, tucked into navy cargo shorts, had been a perfectly acceptable outfit at the time. She’s even got her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, and suddenly she feels like a mess, but the way Roger’s smiling at her, she can’t bring herself to care.

“I’m an artist, I’m allowed to dress tragically sometimes.” She shrugs, and Roger’s grip on her hips tightens as he laughs. It’s strange, mid afternoon and she’s in his house, in his lap, it feels like a whole new world. Their debatable hidden affair was usually confined to the wee hours of the morning, or the late morning depending on when they wake up, but now his hair catches the sunlight pouring in through the window, and he’s casual too. He’s wearing a pair of hideous, little red shorts that she’d seen him play in once, and a t-shirt with a faded design on the front, and for a moment she frowns, because god, does he have no sense of style? As soon as he asks about it, and she voices her thoughts, he gives her a shove, calls her a hypocrite. Leaning in low, she murmurs for him to just take the shirt off, but he doesn’t move.

“You first.” He’s got an eyebrow raised as a challenge, and Ash hums thoughtfully, before her fingers are unbuttoning her shirt, and untucking it. She’s wearing a bra that’s comfortable rather than aesthetically pleasing, and for all that he’s seen her naked, he thinks this might be the most honest he’s actually seen her.

He’s the one to suggest they move, not that it didn’t hurt a little, with Ash wearing only her oversized shirt unbuttoned, and her panties, splayed out against his ratty brown sofa, looking up at him with wide eyes that had been darkened with lust. 

She’s never been in his room before, and she’s not quite sure what she expected. It’s bigger than her room, but not by too much, clothes strewn over the floor, and the end of the bed, which is also bigger than hers, a double, instead of her little single, a cheap looking bed frame and a small but solid desk shoved into the corner and stacked high with books, which intrigues her. Roger closes the door as she makes her way over, fascinated as she reads the spines of what turns out to be worn textbooks.

“You there for some light reading?” Roger wraps his arms around her from behind, pressing a kiss to her neck, his chest firm against her back. There’s notebooks that look well used, and a piece of paper with a whole list of numbers, letters, and symbols that Ash can’t decipher for the life of her, amid pencils and a pretty grubby looking eraser.

“You like, actually study, don’t you?” And when she turns, there’s almost something adoring in her eyes, endeared, and Roger raises his eyebrows at her unanticipated reaction.

“Always the tone of surprise.” He huffed out a laugh, his hands drifting lower to squeeze her bum, and when he leans in to kiss her, it’s sun-warmed and familiar, fitting together easily as he pressed her against the desk and she hopped to sit on it easily, legs parting to pull him closer as he kissed his way down her neck. He fucks her against the desk, even though she’s pretty sure she’s sitting on a notebook and also a pencil, but she can’t bring herself to care. 

When they move to the bed, he snickers at the smudge of graphite on her ass, but she’s hit with a realisation she can’t help but voice.

“I never thought I’d be here.” And she’s a little breathy, gasping for a moment as he brings one of her legs up to her chest and eases back into her.

“Really?” His voice rises in disbelief, pausing in his movements as if to emphasise his point, and Ash rolls her hips once, biting her lip to stifle a chuckle. 

“I mean, in the beginning, no way; I honestly never thought we’d last this long.” She says, and Roger’s quiet. Not needing an answer, she lets herself enjoy the moment, relaxing against the bedspread, whimpers and gasps escaping her as her eyes fall closed. She’s so fucking beautiful, Roger thinks, and even if he doesn’t say it, he’s so glad they lasted, after everything, if only for this moment. 

And then they’re moving, Ash pressing at his shoulder, urging them to move, Roger laying back against the bed as Ash rode him, throwing her head back, with her nails digging into his chest. It’s enough to make him hiss, his hips rolling to meet hers, and when she looks down at him with a heady smile, she leans down and presses a kiss to the half-moon marks her nails had left, before she’s peppering kisses along his chest and throat.

When Brian walks in the front door and sees them both eating pizza and reading trivia to one another from the paper, he has to take a moment. Ash is wearing one of Roger’s shirts. Roger isn’t wearing a shirt at all.

“I know you two are sleeping together.” He announces from the doorway.

“Interesting accusation.” Ash responds without looking away from the paper. Roger makes a hum of agreement.

“You’re wearing his clothes.” Brian says, walking over and picking up a slice of pizza for himself.

“That is my shirt.” Roger agrees, finally looking up to Brian, and Ash takes a big bite.

“Listen, Brian, sometimes friends sleep together, it’s not the end of the world.” Ash said around her mouthful of pizza, which was lost on him, and Roger had to translate for her, much to Brian’s bewilderment.

“So you’re finally admitting it?” He asks, and Ash hums, swallowing before looking up at him.

“Admitting that I came over here excited about hearing your song on the radio, and then, I suppose, one thing led to another? Yes.” Ash agreed, and Brian looked like he was quickly forming a headache.

“Neither of you are as subtle as you think you are; I know this isn’t the first time.” He sighed, and Ash turned to Roger, who raised his eyebrows, feigning mock surprise. He’s about to say something, but it’s as if Brian can already tell it’s going to be irritating and dismissive. “Listen, Ash, you’re an adult, and you’re also our stylist, I just hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Believe me, she does.” Roger says, reaching for some more pizza, ending his statement with a very pointed cough. Ash, looking supremely pleased with herself, watches Brian turn bright red and head for his own room, not slamming the door, but coming close.

“Freddie and John will know by the end of tomorrow I suspect.” Ash muses, and Roger looks at her, a little curious.

“Is that okay?” And he actually seemed like he would offer to do something if it wasn’t. Ash gives him a small smile.

“They were going to find out eventually.” She paused, but only for a moment. “We should probably keep it simple and say it started after you broke up with Kristin.”

“That wasn’t that long ago.” He said softly. Ash shrugs.

“It was like a month and a half ago; it’s believable.” She offered, and Roger hums thoughtfully, sliding across the sofa to rest his head in her lap. She’s tempted to rest her slice of pizza on his face, but ultimately decides against it. The way he’s smiling at her, grin just a little sharp, she’s pretty sure he watched the idea pass through her mind too.

“Do you know what time the next bus comes, I should probably get going before it gets dark and people are more likely to stab me.” She asks carefully, and Roger’s expression turns thoughtful as he watches her eat, quietly waiting for a response.

“Seems a bit extreme; you know you could just stay.” It’s so casual the way he says it, and Ash shrugs, accepting the offer without much thought. His bed is far more comfortable than hers, though he’s not living in uni housing, so you’d hope it was, and it’s big enough to spread out in. But they don’t. When they’re not fooling around, they’re chatting about everything and nothing, as they were sometimes want to do, and Ash gets around to asking him about his degree just as she’s about to fall asleep. They’re holding hands, which again, not necessarily something Ash had expected when they’d first started out, but she’s on her side with her free hand beneath her pillow. She’s just wearing one of his shirts and her underwear, and she brings their hands up to rest between their heads on the mattress, arm now at a more comfortable angle, and she drifts off as Roger gets in to complaining about one of his classes.

By the time he realises she’s not paying attention, she’s already mostly asleep. There’s something about the way she sleeps that makes her seem almost innocent, perhaps it’s that she’s not trying to put up a front, and her mass of ginger hair halos her, so soft it almost hurts. Roger’s never conciously thought of a woman as ‘sweet’ before, but it’s the only word that fits in this moment. He presses a fond kiss to her knuckles of her joined hand. Ash stirs just a little, making a hum of acknowledgement that Roger knew all too well as ‘completely passed out, just felt a sensation, can maybe spout a few random words’. 

Except it’s not just some random gibberish. It’s two words spoken through a yawn:

“Love you.”

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe @laueecakee @smittyjaws@crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings@2ptonpt @benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times@heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder@ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues @banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric @rogmobile@cardybenhardy @snacfu @perriwiinkle @the-strange-fan-girl @finite-incantatem-7 @tapetayloe

[the-writerly-night-owl]

New Member of the Family

Book: Desire and Decorum

Pairing: MC x Ernest Sinclaire

Summary: A new member of the family comes quicker then most and delivered by a one Edmund Marlcaster.

Authors Note: Long post incoming! This clocks at 2,000 words which surprised me. I don’t know who to pair Edmund up with honestly with Miss Sutton out of the way. I prefer Briar and Mr. Woods (if anyone has those stories please send them to me!) but it could be whoever you want since I left it vague. Enjoy!

Tag List!  @flyawayboo @queen-among-writers   @cosigottahavefaith  @am-i-invisible777 @countrymusicandncis-blog @fluffy-cat-whisper @melodyofgraves @symonde 

It was an over cast day as the sky was a formidable shade of gray that threatened to burst, but never did. By the pondside at Edgewater Clara Sinclaire wrote in her journal as she checked on the baby next to her. He was sitting up looking curiously around as she tipped his chin so he could look at her.

“Yea, you’re so cute Andrew,” she said cooing at the infant as she turned him on his stomach encouraging him to crawl. “Mama loves you.”

He drooled as Clara used a handkerchief to wipe his face as her other son, Laurence, raced past her. Behind him quickly following was Ernie trying to tag him.

“Boys stay away from the edge of the water,” called Ernest as he chased after him. Vincent quickly gaining speed behind him. The boys were running away from someone but why they didn’t really scatter she wasn’t sure.

Clara just shook her head as she did a quick head check to keep track of her children. The boys were playing tag and the girls next to her playing with their dolls. Good, she thought, as she smiled at Mabel and Georgiana happily playing almost shouting at each other to be heard.

“I caught you,” called Vincent as he finally tagging someone. “You’re its Georgiana.”

The girls put down their dolls before joining in the game of tag as Clara shook her head. So much for them winding down for now as they had participated in the last two games of tag. She looked down at Andrew again as she made a face that made him giggle. He was going to be one soon enough as Clara was already thinking ahead of what to do for it.

“I’m out of this round I need rest,” said Ernest as he put a hand up. That seemed to upset the kids as they ran straight at him as they hugged his legs. “I’m going to sit with your mom and brother for now. Your cousins Katherine and Harry will be here soon though.”

Gently he pried off Mabel off his leg as she ran along following her brothers and elder sister. Edmund was going to be arriving soon with his two children. Ernest smiled as he took a spot next to Clara as she grinned at him. It was quiet as they watched the kids play as Ernest put his arm around her and kissed her cheek. Giggling Clara let her pages air out as she put the book aside and rested her head against his arm.

“Guess who’s crawling toward you,” she said as she saw Andrew pulled himself up next to him. “It’s hard to believe he’s going to be one soon.”

Ernest pulled up Andrew on his lap as he peered curiously at the buttons on his jacket before pulling at them. Ernest took his hands and played with them for a moment.

“It’s going to be time for us to try for baby number seven,” he teased as Clara giggled as she wrapped an arm around his waist. That didn’t actually sound too bad, she thought, grinning. He leaned in and kissed her as the back door to the estate opened. Clara turned to look to see her grandmother coming towards them with a rather pensive expression on her face.

“Clara, Ernest there you are,” said Dominique as she sat at the bench behind him. Reluctantly Ernest pulled away from Clara as he turned his attention to his son as he listened to what the women were saying. “Dinner will be ready when Edmund gets here. What is this?”

“My journal,” said Clara as she made sure the ink was for sure as she firmly shut the pages and put it in her bag she carried with the children’s needs in it.

“I didn’t know you wrote,” she said getting a good look at it before she cleared her throat. “Will Vincent be joining us for dinner?”

“Yes he is,” said Ernest as he squeezed Clara’s hand.

“I’ll help decide on dinner,” said Clara as she kissed her husband’s lips softly as Dominique only flushed. Despite having six children the open display of affection was rather unconventional. She took Andrew from his lap as they headed inside. He needed a nap before eating anyway. Behind them Ernest got up as well to round up the children to wash and have their downtime.

Together the two strode inside Edgewater hand in hand as they smiled at each other.

Ernest took Vincent and Ernie to the study, so they could work. Clara took the others to the parlor as Georgiana was to work on her sampler. Her sewing was really improving as she helped her. Laurence and Mabel playing quietly with their toys that they did have here.

Finally, after an hour had passed did the next carriage pull up that housed Edmund and his two children. He had married not too long after Ernie was born, and his children were Georgiana and Laurence’s age, which was five and seven.

“Hello aunt,” chorused both children as Harry bowed to her and Katharine curtsied. Both of them were smiling that it looked as their faces were going to burst.

“Hello Mrs. Sinclaire,” said Edmund as he followed in after them as he kissed her cheeks.

“We have a surprise for you and our cousins,” said Katharine as her brother shot her a look. “It’s for after dinner though.”

Clara looked at Edmund a bit surprised as he shook his head. “We mustn’t tell them what it is,” said Edmund sternly to his daughter who nodded shyly.  “Now run along and find your cousins. I’m sure they’re very hungry and eager to see you.”

“They’re in the nursery,” said Clara as she smiled at them to head up,

The two children headed up as they all started toward the dining room. It was still rather dull as her grandmother tried her best to keep Clara up on the gossip. The former Miss Bowman passed giving birth to her third child. Viscount Westonly’s widow had remarried again, she was on her third husband this time. King George was getting worse day by day.

It was long a long dinner as Clara could only smile as she saw Edmund talking with her son. She felt a pang of sadness run through her. They were going to have to send him off to boarding school in the fall as she took a breath. There was still five other children to care for. If they were back at Ledford the entire family would be eating together and not just the eldest.

“I’m going to go and check on Andrew,” said Clara whispering to her husband.

“Can you wait Clara?” asked Edmund. “The kids really want to give you all your surprise at the same time.”

“Alright, how about I get them together?” she asked as he nodded looking very happy.

Clara gave Edmund a long look before going upstairs to get the kids. Their dinner was just about over as well.

Not even knocking she entered the room to find the kids finishing up their food. Ernie telling his younger siblings some story or another. The nursemaid, Ellen, stood up and curtsied to her as Clara just smiled at her.

“I think it’s time for you to share your surprise,” said Clara to the children as Ellen followed after the children.

Just behind her was Katharine and Harry as they were excited. After them the others followed in tow ready for the surprise whatever it might be. The family had gathered in the living room with Dominique, Edmund, and Ernest already there talking amongst themselves. Mr. Marlcaster had a large box in front of him as Katharine and Harry raced toward him.

Clara and Ellen helped get the kids settled down on the carpet as Andrew tried to crawl over to the box. She made a face as she went to pick him up and sat next to Ernest.

“Do you know what it is?” asked Clara in a whisper to her husband.

“I do, and I think you’ll like it,” said Ernest as he pressed his lips to her temple and rubbed Thomas’s head affectionately.

“Alright here it is,” said Harry as the three of them pulled off the top of the box together.

Then there was nothing leaving everyone puzzled. Edmund put up a finger before he poked his hand inside as there was a small… bark?

The box tumbled over as a puppy tumbled out as it panted facing them as it yipped at them. It was adorable as it was black and white with tan spots around its eyes and cheeks. Clara glanced over at Edmund as she couldn’t help but grin. She once had a pug named Mr. Bingley before but it had passed shortly after Georgiana was born. They had yet to get a dog since.

“She’s yours,” said Katharine proudly.

“Doggie,” said Mabel as she went over to pet it. The dog sniffled at her before rubbing his head against her hand.

As quick as they were the kids surrounded the dog petting her fur and licking them as they played together. It was quite adorable as Clara watched them play with the dog. Next to her Lady Grandmother put a hand to her chest as she seemed happy for them too.

“Children what do we say to uncle and cousins?”  asked Ernest as the kids shot up.

“Thank you, uncle and cousins,” chorused the children all at once. Georgiana even went up to hug him as Edmund looked surprised before patting her head. She giggled before going off to play the puppy again.

“What are you going to name her?” asked Clara as Andrew gurgled in her lap.  

That seemed to be the worst question to ask as all of them had an idea. Ernest held his hand up to keep them from talking over each other. This had to be had done one at a time. “P… peh… Pip… a,” mumbled Andrew in her lap.

“Hey I think Andrew named her,” said Vincent as he heard him trying to talk. It seemed easier to let him name her rather than fight over it. “Pippa.”

“I like it,” said Georgiana as she giggled patting the dogs head. She barked back at her enjoying the rubbing. “Miss Pippa Sinclaire.”

“I wanted to name her Lady,” protested Laurence.

“Alright she’s Lady Pippa Sinclaire,” said Ernie as he rubbed Pippa’s tummy. “You’re a good girl.”

The kids clamored around her as they went to show her around the inside of Edgewater. At least where they could go as the puppy stuck close to Mabel. Next to her Lady Grandmother turned to talk to Ernest about something as Clara held her son and crossed the room to sit next to Edmund.

It was quiet between them as she listened for the kids as they were telling the dog where everything was.  

“I asked Ernest and he said it was alright. He wanted to keep it a surprise for you,” said Edmund as he smiled at her. “The kids were happy she went with someone they knew and liked.”

“Well thank you, that was a very sweet idea,” said Clara as she took his hand.

“It’s not a problem,” he said with a small wistful smile on his face.

It was quiet as Ernest kissed her head once Edmund and Lady Grandmother were talking with each other. “Did you like my surprise?” he asked as Clara giggled.

“Of course I did,” she said. “And now we have a new member of the family for right now.” Clara leaned in close to him as a sly grin on her face as she blinked up at him. “Who knows we may or may not have another.”

Ernest flushed as he whispered right back. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting to do that with you,” he said as Clara smiled kissing her sons head. Maybe they would have another baby sometime. 

[ichigo-skaii]

i woke up angry at him

why didn’t he just use a condom

why didn’t he act like he respected me

why did he have to sleep with a skank

he questioned whether or not he should do it but he did it and now she’s pregnant

he keeps calling me “love” and “dear” as if he still loves me like he used to

she wants to keep the fucking baby

she literally tricked him and didnt tell him she wasnt on birth control

she wanted a kid for awhile

she didn’t give a shit that that was someone else’s boyfriend and that he wasnt hers

and he didnt care whether or not she got pregnant or else he wouldve used a condom

and now he’s acting like he never loved me

as if our hearts didn’t touch

as if he didnt disassociate for a long time because of me

he told me he appreciated me

he told me to move on today as if he didnt tell me just a few weeks ago that he didnt actually respect me enough to wear a condom and not get a girl pregnant because he couldnt keep his dick in his pants for a few weeks when i was away at college

i told him it was okay, but i didnt expect him to move on so fast like that

i’m so hurt and i feel so so betrayed

i mean, i slept with a girl but it’s not like i could get her pregnant

maybe i should write poetry or put this into my art

my art would just be angry tbh

i would probably literally just stab a canvas

it sucks being back home where we used to sleep together and be together almost 24/7

we talked about moving to kansas city together

but my last boyfriend talked about moving to oregon in a big tree house with our two other friends

and i thought it was silly

but k talked about me going to the art school

and him taking care of me instead of the other way around for once

i took care of his family and they dont care about how much he hurt me i guess

they honestly loved the fuck out of me, his dad said he’d never seen k connect with someone so well before

a lot of people said that

which also makes it harder

it sucks having loved someone who can disassociate and disconnect so easily from emotions, because all they’ll do is tell you to get over it and that it was so easy for them to stop loving you

the first time you make a genuine connection and dont feel disconnected for once and it’s ruined by distance or a lack of condom

i wonder if this would have happened had i not of gone to new england

i never have expectations for other people, especially not k, because he didn’t do shit

he doesn’t work hard for anything and nothing motivates him

not even me

or at least.. barely

i got him out of his depressive state, i got him out of the house, i made him get out and spend time with friends and people and i stopped fucking around with this 23 year old guy because i felt a connection with him and saw that i could do so much better

and then i figured out

oh wait no i cant

at least the 23 year old guy...

idk he didn’t do anything for me

k did a lot of things for me

i want to remember the good times, but i’ll stay connected if i keep doing that

how he treated me the best of all my boyfriends and guys i’d ever been with

how he was the first guy of too many to actually make me cum

and eat me out too tbh

at least long enough for me to fucking cum and feel loved

i know i need to cut all contact with him but he was my best friend too

i cant say that about another boyfriend i’ve had

k was my boyfriend and my best friend and he betrayed me and he doesn’t love me and he didn’t respect me enough to use a condom because i thought we were special that we didnt need to because we loved each other and i was on birth control and a fucking responsible adult who didnt want children let alone make someone else suffer by getting pregnant and making someone be in my debt forever and ever

he said “why is everyone trying to ruin my life” and i saw his dad coming out and maybe even his mom

i dont know if i want to see him because i’m afraid of risking seeing that pregnant skank

but i also want free weed

if he even gets that for me

i honestly cant trust him anymore

he’s lied to me so much until i called him out when i was drunk one time and yelled at him to take me home and answer questions and then we fucked and it was good and we laughed in the kitchen and i thought maybe later in life we could get back together but that’s too much to think about

that’s too far ahead in the future to even fathom

it’s like trying to imagine having a million dollars, you can’t do that because it’s so... impossible i guess to obtain

i only have high expectations for myself, i set my standards lower and lower every time i get a boyfriend and i get fucked over time and time again

he was a college drop out, but he was so smart and had high aspirations and then i learned he had no motivations to get better for himself let alone anyone else

he said something to me like “you learned how a guy should treat you” and “go find a guy who will treat you good too”

and he did treat me well, he never got upset with me, he was always patient and he understood that my mental illness fluctuated and that i wasn’t changing, but that my mental illness fluctuated

i’m only 18, i’ll find someone like that again but i’m afraid i wont too, because k is one of a kind as we all are

i wish i knew how to stop being angry at him

i don’t hold grudges, i’m going to move on, but i’m so tired of being angry

i know i need to feel everything out, cry it all out, yell about it for awhile

i think after he gives me this weed i’ll finish blocking him on stuff

i blocked him on snapchat

where we started talking, where it’s easier to see his face and adore it

even back when i was a sophomore in high school his smile always got to me and i barely even knew him then

his smile is honestly one of the things i fell in love with

when we were both high in my car and i look over at him and he smiled at me and then grabbed the wheel because i didnt want to look away from his face

we drove around for hours and listened to music and every time we did it got later and later and he stopped caring about when he had to go home even though he used to say he didnt wanna stay out too late because his grandmother wouldnt like it even though he’s 20

i miss who he used to be and how much he loved me

he had the potential to do big things, and he fucked himself up

he fucked up really bad

he says people who have kids become famous all the time, but i dont believe that with him

ugh why do i still want to buy him gifts though

i want to get him a dad robe and dad slippers

he’s gonna be an awful father but at least he’ll look cool

i’ll wait until his birthday and see how i feel before dropping $30 on a guy who doesn’t love me anymore but says he cares about me and bullshit

he said no matter what there will always be a place in his heart for me

i can’t tell whether or not hes lying

he cried

he doesn’t feel things and he’s only cried two other times in the past i dont even know 8 or 10 years

i wonder if he’ll feel bad when he sees that i gave him baby socks

he said he feels awful for hurting me

he owes me $200

if he ever actually lands a job maybe he’ll pay me back

maybe i should buy him a box of condoms for christmas instead

i wish he felt anything at all