#if i didn't check the syllabus and figure out what it might be and write him a thousand word email where i quoted heidegger

[wormheamer]

sorry professor but your teaching style and my mental illnesses are a match made in hell

[fractallogic]

okay. i think now the smoke has cleared up and it might be a good time to let my computer charge and my brain reset by taking a little pokewalk outside. then i'm going to make some dinner, during which i will take my computer downstairs so that i can more easily convince myself to code as many errors as humanly possible and also to edit my presentation tomorrow before lab meeting, because lord knows that's not going to happen if i have to drag myself all the way upstairs (but it might if my computer's right there, and it needs to).

then i assume we'll check in tomorrow about this fucking paper, which i don't want to touch at all anymore tonight (or tomorrow tbh, but oh well, because I think we need to submit it tomorrow and I have citation- and reviewer-response-page-number-checking duties), and idk, maybe i'll be a good sport and see if Other Postdoc wants to take the lab meeting spot i abruptly traded her for last week (and they apparently didn't even have lab meeting last week lol whoops)

then AFTER lab meeting i should buckle down and do a bunch for class prep because I have a meeting first thing wednesday with my TA and I'd like her to look over a finalized version of the syllabus and assignments and ideally some lesson plans for classes.

then on wednesday after the meeting i should do the review i said i would do, which shouldn't be too onerous because it's the second review for this paper. then i'll go back to the experiment.

thursday i really need to get a set of job documents together for an application due on oct 3. afterward i can do more interesting things during the writing meeting (finalizing the poster??).

friday I can let be a blissful day of whatever for the textbook, which will be so nice.

on the weekend I can plan some classes. and also relax. that would be a good idea. also talk to scone sometime.

monday i have to get up at the asscrack of dawn to meet my students at 9 AM on campus, across campus from where my office is, but after that i think it would be so nice to just like. plan out the quarter and figure out everything I need to do.

i can do it! everything is fine. i will do everything because it is fine. and guess what, the second half of today HAS been better. it will truly only go up from here (because from now until tomorrow morning is walk, dinner, errors, TV-watching, and bed).

[writing-to-stay-awake]

I bet that all of this is incredibly sound advice. 👍🏻 you sound like you know what you're talking about. I sincerely applaud your ability to be a proactive paper writer and all around joy of a student.

I just wanted to throw some other practical things out there for someone who might be struggling. For reference, I also received my bachelor's degree as an English Literary Studies major with a 3.835 gpa. As a student, we seem to have been polar opposites. From a mix of being a severe procrastinator, and simply not having the time for all of this (student athlete life was actually rough), I had to learn really fast how to write something basically in one try. (I was the haggard student who had pulled the all-nighter but finished their 17 page paper in one night. I did in fact get an A.)

1. Pay attention to your syllabus. It likely notes when you're going to write papers. And often they state generally what they will be about. Take note of the books/reading that matters. With potential ideas already in mind, take note of good material to possibly use in your paper the FIRST TIME you read the book. Actually mark it. This saves time with the research phase.

2. Figure out your professor's idiosyncrasies. I had a professor who would deduct points if you didn't include certain elements in the title of your paper. This professor also wouldn't tell you that and you only discovered it after the first papers were graded. Basically. Try to make friends with someone who's had the class before and get the relevant gossip.

3. Think about your paper as a roadtrip. You are taking your audience, the reader, on that roadtrip, and your map is your thesis statement. Organize your paper to match the order of your thesis statement (and vice versa). It just makes sense and I promise this is super helpful if you're writing on the fly without an outline. Get stuck on where to go next? What's next in line in the thesis? Go there! (You technically have one. And you can always go back and adjust it if you find an awesome point to throw in when you're already down on the 7th page.)

4. Secondary sources are your friend. You are not the only one, probably, who has ever thought or written about your topic. Use your university's online resources. I think ours used EBSCO or something like that. PEER REVIEWED SOURCES. Also. You can totally one hundred percent include articles you DISAGREE WITH. It actually makes things more exciting. Which leads me to 5.

5. Don't just think about how to prove your point. Whatever that point is. Trying to meet your page minimum is that much easier if you actually include a few points where you anticipate argument. This also makes you look like you've really thought about this. You can disagree or concede (state why your concession doesn't matter in the grand scheme.). Either is fine really. Just make it relevant. Disagreement of other viewpoints using real evidence can firm up your own stance (just give textual evidence for why your point is "the right way to look at it". This is an english paper. Believe in the theory of Death of the Author, Interpret however you see fit and just show how you got there.). Secondary sources which you need to include anyway are great places to find these disagreeing points. Two birds. One stone. Wipe hands as you check off those paper requirements.

6. This is an english paper. Consider whoever is reading it would also be a person interested in the "conversation." They aren't there just to get a rehash of the book. Assume, honestly, that they've already read it, but that they may need some key "reminders" about what's going on. They're there for the point of your argument. Write like it.

7. This is the one class where writing fantastical sentences with a million commas is totally acceptable, so long as you can actually do it correctly by using all of the proper punctuation. Don't be afraid to show some vocabulary. Just make sure you do it properly.

8. Professors dig the active voice. They dig it so much they usually penalize the use of the passive voice unless there's a real good reason. (And there probably isn't.)

9. This is my last piece of advice. And one that one of my upper level professors really pounded into me. I thank her every day. In high school I got taught that the last paragraph was basically your summary. I honestly believed that. I could not have been more wrong and I could not have been writing more boring papers until I learned otherwise. Do not be afraid to put something NEW in the final paragraph. Not new evidence per se, rather give the reader a reason to have slogged along through all of that analysis. Make a point. Make them care. Take all those paragraphs that said some stuff and did some analysis and then finally weave them all together and make your reader go..."Oh. Oh, I never thought of it that way." Or "Oh. I disagree, but I can totally see that." You've made your roadtrip. What was the end destination. Where were we going the whole time?

10. I lied. I couldn't stand to end on an odd number. THIS IS REALLY THE LAST PIECE OF ADVICE! When all of your writing is supposedly done. Give the paper a full clean read through. (I recommend reading it aloud. This is a stupidly simple way to catch easy grammar errors. Your brain will fill in blanks without you realizing it if you read silently because it knows what you meant, but you'll hear the mistakes when you say them outloud.) Then check your thesis statement again. Did your paper follow the map? If yes, great. Good for you! If not, that's okay. Honest. Most of the time I ended up straying somehow. Do you like where you ended up? (I usually did a lot better than if I'd followed to the letter.) Just adjust your thesis statement to match the journey. This is something I started doing and it CHANGED MY LIFE. I no longer felt bound to the confines of my self-set parameters. As long as the argument is still sound, YOU'RE FINE. Your professor will literally never know the difference and you have the freedom to realize and explore an amazing tangent that your original thesis might not have allowed for. I mean. One time I started writing, then realized I was actually very effectively arguing the opposite point. I liked it better. It was more interesting. And my evidence was sound. I didn't throw the paper away because it didn't match my thesis. I made myself flexible and changed the thesis instead.

I don't know if these were helpful, but that's my two cents. And they seemed useful to other people I helped.

A Quick Guide on How To Write an English Paper

Hello! Once upon a time, I completed a degree in English Writing Arts and Literature. I finished my degree with a 3.7 GPA, so it’s safe to say that I know how to write an English paper. So here are my tips and tricks to outline, write, and edit an English paper.

Outline-

This is essentially the most important part of any paper. I used to make really detailed outlines that included quotes I wanted to use from both the book and the research materials as well as breaking down those quotes. Here’s what my outlines used to look like:

I would share this with friends in my class to gauge what I should tweak. Google Drive should be everyone’s study essential. If I was a beauty blogger, I would say that Google Drive was my holy grail product.

An important thing to remember here is that when you’re writing quotes in those boxes, you should be writing where you got them from so you’re not searching an entire novel for that specific quote. For me, the outline was the side dish of my paper. It’s not the main event, but it really adds to the ease of paper writing.

Writing-

A rule of thumb I always used that added inches to my papers was that whenever I used a quote, I would introduce it in 2-3 sentences and explain it in 4-5 sentences. For an English paper, it’s important to highlight how the sentence is written. Is there a metaphor? What does that add to the overall tone of the novel and your understanding? Then you can tie it back to your thesis. I also used to highlight my research and then use a quote to prove it. 

An important thing to note is that you should ALWAYS have a concluding sentence after presenting an idea. So say one idea carries you five paragraphs when you’re completely done with that idea, write “Overall,” or “In essence” and then summarize the last five paragraphs. That should only take you a maximum of two sentences.

Editing-

A good paper should not be done overnight. You want time to thoroughly edit your paper. There’s a syllabus for a reason. I would start research a week and a half in advance, but I was always thinking about what topics to expand on during class discussions. Research usually took me about a good two hours after that then I would read what I printed out, highlighted, and find more resources if I had to. All in all, research took me about a day.

I would write the paper in one sitting and then step away from it for one whole day. With fresh eyes, I would get my first round of editing done by printing out the paper and highlighting problem areas. Then I’d go back and fix them before sharing the paper with one of my friends in class. After they’re done, I would look at their comments and fix whatever issues they saw. At the beginning of my English career, I would meet up with a tutor for a private session, but that seemed to waste both of our times when I got the hang of it. 

An excellent resource is your professor. Most professors will read your paper in advance and give you feedback. It’s also a good idea to meet up with your professor in the research phase because they’ll give you research materials or at least help you zero in on your topic. There were only two professors I personally wasn’t comfortable going to for this type of thing for a few reasons, but most of the English professors were extremely accommodating. They have office hours for a reason!

Say you don’t have time to do all that editing, download Grammarly. It’s free and you can just upload your paper to it. It will just fix grammatical errors, but most professors will take out a large chunk of points for grammar alone so it’s a pretty solid option if you’re in a time crunch.

Using this method in the paper writing process always got me a high grade. I find it to be proactive and eliminates confusion and rushing. However, I just want to note that just because it worked well for me does not mean it will work that way for you. This kind of paper writing was tailored for me after doing the paper writing thing for a while. Most methods take time to curate so if this does not work for you, know that you’ll find your method in time. 

Good luck!