#if high testosterone makes someone a man what's your problem with trans men then

[peerieweirdo]

'i dont care if that boxer has a vagina, her testosterone levels make her a man!!!'

so you agree? sex is more complicated than just genitals at birth and is a complex system of reproductive organs, hormones, chromosomes and secondary sex characteristics?

[blubushie]

Blu your speaking straight FACTS on the demonization/ostracization of masculinity in the queer community! Like I was talking to my brother about this ( him a gay man and me a bi women) about how he wishes there was more queer men that leaned into masculinity bc while he has no problem dating/getting to know effeminate men he prefers the masculine men. While he was apologizing for sounding harsh about his feeling, I was like no I totally understand bc a drag queen that I like put it best "I am gay man. Meaning I like men and their features. I like deep voices, big body, hair everywhere." Like when I was getting to know the queer community more in my teens I was finding it weird/off how the gay male community would want their ideal men to be that stereotypical man but anybody they deemed not fckable with those features they would ostracized.

Even in the Sapphic community leaning to much into masculinity ostracized the Sapphic that embraced it and they'll be accused of wanting to be a man or accused of betraying Sapphic women for leaning away from the feminity their attracted too. Like doing this demonization damages the community because 1.) It makes it harder for those ignorant of themseleves/on their journey to understand themselves TO UNDERSTAND themselves bc the features/actions that they have are hated by a community they thought was opened (as u said.) 2.) Ostracizes those who do know themselves and want community ( AS U SAID!) 3.) Kills hope in that their are no positive examples of healthy masculinity so those attracted to it give up on finding a healthy and positive partner who is masculine or give up on the idea they themselves can be queer and engage in healthy masculinity.

Going back to the talk with my brother, I told him I'm like him in that I like my men to look like men too. While my bisexuality has me attracted to people with gender presentation fuckery, I also do like it when a person of that gender presents their stereotypical gender BECAUSE IM ATTRACTED TO MEN AND WOMEN AND I SHOULD LIKE AND APPRECIATE THEIR FEATURES BC THATS WHAT IM ATTRACTED TOO!!!

Like when I see TF2 fanart of the mercs with body hair and body fat/heftiness I go 😍🫦😝💦😜😍👀🫦🤪 bc here are some hot men that look like MEN. ( I treasure the fanart that has Scout having body hair and muscle bc 1.) He a full grown adult not a twink high-schooler 2.) Mfer can go 1 on 1 with someone like Heavy [might not always win but there are chances he can win- looks at his meet the... video], it's his job to fight other beefed up guys, and have you seen how thick/muscled up baseball players can get.) Bc even in fanart, not just TF2 fanart, men are depicted in a narrow ideal of masculinity where they are not allowed to have masculine features which to me makes it artificial. And that something real is the masculinity the community keeps denying/gatekeep in real life and online.

I'm gonna rustle some feathers. In EVERY queer environment I've ever been in, the only way I've ever gotten the vibe that it's ok for a man to be a man is if he's a girl. If you're too tall, too bearded, too hairy, too fat, too bald, too deep a voice, too masculine in presentation, you're irredeemable—god forbid you LIKE how testosterone has changed your body. You are the monster in their fairy tales. You have to prove yourself as "not like other men" somehow because if you're a man and you like men, that's not queer enough. If you're a trans man who is too masculine or passes too well, you're betraying your community somehow, or your birth sex. Fuck your dysphoria, we'll only feel comfortable with your presence if you walk in tits out in a miniskirt, ~flambouyantly GNC~, and even THEN we'll make comments about how your masculinity makes us uncomfortable because you still look too male.

And if you're a bisexual man? Hell you might as well be straight. Won't even give you the decency of calling you an ally—nah, mate, you're an invader. Iunno what the B stands for.

[angelofdumpsterfires]

Anyways reminder that while violent transphobia (especially against trans women) is a pillar of TERFism it’s not the only one, the others are more subtle and you should beware of them

(Note, when I say “women” or “men” I am referring to what a TERF considers to be each as TERFs are notorious for misgendering all folks across as the gender spectrum)

TERFs are anti-sex work believing it to be in support of the patriarchy and a betrayal of womanhood or claiming it to be dangerous or done only in desperation. (bullshit by the way, all work is selling your body you are no better than someone who does that literally, I am anti work, but that means all work)

Essentially:

TERFs do not believe in intersectionality. TERFs believe that all problems in the world fundamentally trace back to sexism, misogyny and who they deem “men” this is why a majority of TERFs are white, because they don’t believe systemic issues that affect them can be linked to racism, queerphobia and discrimination against indigenous folks

TERFs believe that women are inherently “pure” and men are inherently “evil” and corrupt, those posts about being attracted to men being “embarrassing” or “disgusting”? TERF ideology. TERFs have a tendency to fetishise/idealise lesbian relationships as being inherently better, purer and non-abusive, while framing relationships with men as inherently toxic and abusive. They believe a woman is better than a man inherently by virtue of being a woman. (Also there’s a lot of Biphobia bc “how can you love good woman and bad man??”)

TERFs are straight up racist. They base all their points on white ideals of feminity, if you have “too much” body hair or naturally high testosterone levels they will consider you less than even if you are cis. There’s more to be said but I feel as a white person i would rather amplify the voices of those actually affected by this side of TERFism (trans people of colour please feel free to add on)

TERFs are infamous for hating trans women but they also do harmful shit against nonbinary and transmasc people, posts like “cis men 🤮 trans men 😍” are a classic example of this because by separating cis and trans men by their desirability you are making it clear that you don’t view trans men as real men.

A similar phenomenon can be seen in their treatment of nonbinary folks, they like to view nonbinary folks as “woman lite” or “man trying to be special” forcing a gender binary on people who actively defy that binary, and assigning “ohh they’re just confused” or “predator” to them respectively (this ties into their “woman good man bad ideals”) this is because they don’t respect the identities of nonbinary folks

It should also be noted that there’s also hate against trans men in TERF rhetoric also presents as:

“the trans agenda is corrupting our girls”

“women are so oppressed that they pretend to be men”

“trans men are betraying their gender”

Among others.

I am by no means an expert and there are many more harmful ideals that they express and encourage but I feel it is necessary for me to spread this information to help scope them out and also to prevent reblogging TERF ideology that is more subtle (please do correct me or add on if you have more personal experience)

Anyways TERF is an oxymoron bc feminism is about all protecting and elevating all women

[antiterf]

Hello! I have this really weird problem: I am socially transitioned but not on hormones yet, because it is mandatory for trans people to change their name a year in advance in my country, and honestly I might not even be able to get on hormones ever, because in my country neurodivergent people and mentally ill people are denied many things (for example, nobody with ADHD can adopt, nobody on the spectrum can drive a car, just a decade ago neurodivergency made you unemployable, employers literally refused to hire people on the basis of them being neurodivergent and this was endorsed and approved of). But I pass about 50 % of the time until I open my mouth. I've tried vocal coaching but my voice is super abnormally high even for a person assigned female at birth, and with coaching I was only able to get it down to standard afab levels. While technically speaking nobody can find out if I'm actually doing it or not, I should present myself as a man when seeking employment, etc, in order to be eligible for hormones, and honestly I don't like lying to my sexologist, so I do it, plus it'd look odd not to with my male name. This however presents a problem when I do actually manage to score an interview, because they see me and it's fine, but I say a word and they go "Oh sorry miss, haha, I remembered your resume wrong, I thought it sounded like a guy but you are as woman as one can be. Crazy name for a girl tho lol." in the better case, and in the worse case they start calling me "it."

I've been thinking about just lying that I have some sort of hormonal problem that caused my voice not to drop upon puberty, and I know that I shouldn't lie about stuff like that, but it's also completely legal not to hire people based on their orientation and if they're trans, and our president openly and explicitly proclaims his hatred and disgust for trans population, and even wants transition to be illegal, so I thought simply lying about my voice when I can pass in terms of looks might be better. I just don't know if something like that is even feasible. Like could something like that even happen? I got the idea because I saw a video (maybe a Tiktok? idk) of a trans woman who said that when in public and a child starts having weird questions about her (you know, like "mommy, why does that woman have a man voice?" or "mom why does the man voice keep coming out of a woman?"), she just says that she has a hormonal problem that makes her voice so deep. Not sure if I could use the excuse the other way around though. I basically just want to ask if you think I could, like if that'd be something people would eat up. For the record, it also seems like the general population doesn't know of the existence of trans people, since when I called myself a guy when working at a voting station last year, and old lady referred to me as such as well, and I thought that she was just being really tolerant for someone raised in a dictatorship, but 2 days later it turned out that she didn't know what trans people were? So that's also why I think they're more likely to believe a lie than realise that I'm bullshitting and an just trans

I think you don't even have to say hormonal issue and instead a vague "medical issue". Mostly because estrogen doesn't raise someone's voice and the main reason why hormones can affect voice is by making it lower with testosterone. The difference with men and women is that testosterone will deepen someone's voice if they have higher levels and will stay that way even if hormones are back in balance, meaning that it's more likely that women will have that with a current or past hormonal issue, while men having higher voices due to a hormonal issue suggests that they never have been on the right testosterone level.

I'm someone who's super against lying but I don't have to think twice about saying that if you think this will help then do it. Its not like lying to get free shit it's lying to be able to take care of yourself. Plus employers aren't owed that information in the first place. I want to say though that saying it's a medical issue could also make your chances of employment weaken because of ableism.

I also know that you can try more to train your voice and look at people like they're crazy for suggesting that you're a woman. Act like how a cis man would if you mistook him for a woman, in utter shock. I never tried it myself because I don't like making people freak out and I have trouble with changing my social habits, but in more important contexts it may come in handy.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this shit in the first place though and I hope it gets better in your country, if only a little. It's isolating and anxiety inducing to try and hide being trans, but its also necessary for a lot of people like yourself.

[old-school-butch]

I'm sorry if this comes off as inappropriate but I feel as though if I brought this up to my friends they'd only encourage me to transition. Anyway, I'm a biological woman but I'm utterly exhausted of being one. I don't think of myself as a man, but I'd do anything to escape the discomfort of living as a woman. I want to transition because I'm tired of living with the knowledge that people think less of me or want to hurt me simply because I'm a woman. I'm tired of my chronic pain (Endometriosis) not being taken seriously. I'm so fucking tired, and yet I know transitioning would only be a band-aid in the best case scenario. Do you or any of your followers have any recommendations on how I can get past this? Thank you.

This is why feminism exists - because being a woman shouldn’t be such a burden. Trying to run away from patriarchy’s influence isn’t going to work, so I guess I’d say that:

1. Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Many women are fed up with being ignored and abused, and we need to stand together to fight this.

2. A part of you may still feel ‘ok, but if I deek out and avoid all this, won’t I be better off?’ The stats on post-transition suicides aren’t really available, but I predict they will be very high. Living a false identity is incredibly stressful, and if patriarchy let women identify out of womanhood, we’d all have done that already. What will happen is that you’ll be isolated from other women, without even the words you need to describe what’s happening to you. Part of the reason trans men whine a lot about discrimination and transphobia is because they have to change their language to describe sexism, but the problems remain. I also have no idea what happens to endometriosis when you take testosterone, and I doubt anyone else does. I understand the promise of escape, but it’s a false promise.

3. Getting some resilience to the discomforts of living is a useful toolkit to develop. You’ll need it not just for being a woman, and for illness, but also for aging, for being lonely and times when you’re overwhelmed. Figuring out what you need to get through the process is something that will stand you in good stead throughout life’s many low moments.

Generally speaking, the social support of even a small group of friends will provide a great balm and sense of healing as the world cuts away at you, so make sure to seek that out and secure it. If your friends would just encourage you to transition, you need new friends. Read some radfem books (there are repositories online for free) and find friends who get it.

Regular self-care, including good sleep, exercise and time to reflect and recharge, are keys to being able to power through tough situations.

Make a care plan for yourself. You need a better doctor - perhaps a female doctor or try Planned Parenthood (they are full of gender but provide good care). You deserve to be taken seriously.

A long-term therapist is an another asset that can definitely be helpful. This is someone who knows you, even if you don’t see them very often. Often, limited income results in people getting short-term therapy, which isn’t as useful. Think of building this relationship as a long-term asset, when you have the income to do so, so that you can access effective support for a small price down the road.

If you want more pointers, come off anon and DM me.

[a-woman-apart]

I am Bisexual

I am a black, bisexual ciswoman dating a white, straight cisman, and the fact that he is male and straight are not the reason I am dating him, nor are they a reason NOT to. Pretending though, that his labels don’t factor into who he is as a person would be completely idiotic.��

At the end of the day, though, we are dating because we share similar values, we are compatible in multiple ways, we respect each other, and we love each other and are committed to making this work. It is true, that as a straight man, he wouldn’t be open to dating me if I were a man, but it is also true that if I were a man, certain aspects of my personality would change, due to a complex combination of nature and nurture that scientists still haven’t figured out.  

Also, there are people from both our “communities” (said very loosely) that aren’t down with “The Swirl” which is only something you get to celebrate if you are extremely privileged and quite a bit into eugenics. We each have racist people in our families, and we both get dirty looks on the street when we’re together for different reasons, but hatred is always at the core of the discrimination. 

Loving vs. Virginia was passed in 1967, and it is important to note that The Lovings wanted to be left alone and to live in peace, even though their marriage wasn’t recognized by law and it was a crime, even for white women, to give birth to interracial children. The Lovings only took their case to court when they faced racialized harassment. 

To me, it is absolutely terrible that in roughly 10 years, we went to celebrating “love is love” to now criticizing people for who they choose to date or how they identify. I can’t tell you how many times on this site I’ve seen bisexual women pressured to identify as pansexual to be “less discriminatory” or told in disgusting tones, “Why date men if you can choose to date women?” as if bisexual and/or lesbian were just things you can turn on and off like a light switch. 

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the rise of radical feminism and AFAB-nonbinary/transmasculine culture has coincided with poorer mental health for women in our community and also with a HUGE uptick in misandry and biphobia. Even gay men aren’t above being “canceled” for so-called “transphobic” caricatures of women, even though men have been playing women in the theatre for centuries, and now, women can play men, too. #Progressive  

Honestly, one thing I will say that guys do better than us women (in general, there are always exceptions) is comedy. Yes, men, as a a general rule, are funnier than us. Men are more likely to make fun of themselves, us, and other people, with no mercy, and I honestly think the women/AMAB non-binary in our community-- either the black or the LGBTQ+ one, take your pick-- need to learn to take a fucking joke. It’s not that fucking serious, but the one thing that ISN’T funny is the hideous biphobia, racism, and backbiting I’ve witnessed online and offline this year. 

What makes it even more disgusting, is that while I am including AMABs in my roast, I have actually seen MULTIPLE stories of AMABs being excluded from AFAB offline gatherings (DOCUMENTED ON THIS HERE VERY SITE) in the name of “safety” because they are seen than nothing more than a man in a dress. 

So, here’s where I lose some subscribers...if a so-called “man in a dress” is unwelcome in your circles, do you REALLY think you have room to fucking talk when a huge portion of you you skirt the line between male and female because you can’t accept your own femininity? So really, are you really “non-binary” or are you just a scared little girls who can’t grow up?

Of course, that isn’t ALL of you, but when the country (as pointed out by J.K Rowling) sees a 4400% in female to male transition (a lot of it with very young girls becoming AFAB/non-binary, many of whom are taking testosterone) while male to female transition rates remain UNCHANGED, suddenly this isn’t a “trans” or a “non-binary” problem, this is a FEMALE problem. Trans people, prior to this huge upswing, made up less than 1% of the population, and that included MtF and FtM transition rates. These rates had remained steady FOR YEARS, so from a purely mathematical perspective this uptick is a huge statistic anomaly. 

For years people on the Right have decried the so-called “feminization of boys”, when in reality the “masculinization of girls” is statistically a far more pressing societal issue. 

I didn’t want to get this harsh, but this is concerning as a medical health issue, especially because research from the Scientific American reports that lots of young women who report having gender dysphoria end up not being dysphoric about their gender at all, but uncertain about their sexuality [click link]. If I had a quarter for every time a girl who never felt comfortable with her femininity or identified as asexual or aromantic turned out to “just be gay/bisexual” then I would be pretty fucking rich. 

I felt the same way. I felt like I was “Not Like Other Girls” and even though I never felt like a man, I often didn’t quite feel like a woman. It turns out that bisexuality, especially in women, corresponds with certain personality traits (aggression, assertiveness, high sex drive) that have been “coded male.” Gender bias in medicine is still responsible for why we don’t have more studies on lesbian and bisexual women, or on women IN GENERAL. As someone who is concerned about women’s rights and the safety of young girls and women, I think it is a HUGE DEAL that modern medicine still sometimes operates on the false assertion that women are just men without dicks and added baby-hosting parts. The effects of testosterone have been heavily studied, but there is SO much we don’t know about estrogen, including why different amounts of it don’t factor into PMDD, PMS, and other reproductive issues, as much as certain women’s brains and bodies responding to it DIFFERENTLY for reasons not fully understood. 

To make matters worse, while disparities in treatment based on race are less marked in other areas of medicine, black women still die in childbirth-- especially in the Southern U.S.-- at much higher rates than other demographics. Bisexual and lesbian women are also more likely than straight women to fear childbirth, which can be a huge source of anxiety for us. Even if we choose to undergo it, our anxiety is often downplayed by health care workers. This fear of childbirth can be seen even in bisexual and lesbian women who love children and strongly desire to be mothers. This, as well as the cost of surrogacy/IVF treatments, has been a reason that same-sex female couples often opt for adoption. 

Bisexual women, in particular, are also more likely to suffer mental health conditions and be the victims of male-perpetrated domestic violence than straight women and lesbians are. “Straight-passing” doesn’t really seem to provide a shield from that, I hate to tell you. 

The very concept of calling someone out for “passing” in an attempt to insult them actually reeks of jealousy and amazing privilege. In the case of bisexual people, it assumes that hiding an entire facet of our identity doesn’t matter and doesn’t take an emotional and psychological toll, because we can “choose” an opposite sex partner. This ignores the fact that falling in love isn’t based on choice, and that the moment we pursue a same-sex partner, we still have to “come out” if we want to maintain a healthy, open relationship with them. 

In the case of trans individuals, it assumes that “passing” erasing the fact that you have biological differences (such as typically being unable to parent children) from cis people that might make you undesirable to certain partners. Also, if you are also “stealth” you risk the chance of experiencing discrimination and/or violence if your identity is “discovered.” 

As far as being “white/European passing” this also does not erase the genetic and geographical ties you have to your ethnicity and/or country of origin. It doesn’t change the fact that if people start making racist comments about any of your racial demographics, it still hurts, even if you try to hide it. 

[tervenish]

Radical Feminist/Gender Critical Questions

I've noticed some contradictions throughout GC/radfem spaces and I just wanted to write them down and talk about them.

PLEASE NOTE: I know someone is going to interpret some of these as if I believe some horrible way, or distrust some people, but genuinely I’m just trying to ask questions and have a discussion to try to make sense in this terribly confusing world.

A big problem I have with self-ID laws is that it’s all just based in “because I said so.” But when I tell someone I’m a lesbian, I can’t share my feelings so that they, too, feel them. I have no way to prove that these are my feelings. All of our morals are just “because I think it’s right/wrong.” I don’t understand how to move forward with this problem.

Don't we, too, seek out studies that confirm our beliefs? There are studies that say yes but there are also studies that say no. Each side pays attention to the ones they want. How do we remedy this?

(1/2) We call out the no-true-Scotsman argument a lot in genderist circles, but there was that time a feminist organization partnered with conservatives. What happens when a group that calls themselves radical feminists or even gender critical, and do something like that? Saying "that's not real radical feminism" feels like the Scotsman thing. Not every radical feminist agrees with the same things. Julie Bindel doesn’t believe bisexuality is real. Some radfems think women can never reach equality if they’re around men.

(2/2) One explanation I came to was that when we hear “a real trans person/trans ally wouldn’t do that” is that that is referring to a person, whereas “that’s not radical feminism” is referring to an ideology that, theoretically, has defined principles. However, as I said, it doesn’t really... At this point, I feel like nothing can be set in stone besides math, and even that has theoretical areas.

We say TRAs show their faults when they don't respond after we ask them things like "so define a woman" or whatever, but there are times when I choose to stop talking even after some significant point they made (for example, one said "I didn't choose to be bullied for this") often bc I'm either not in the mental head space to handle a debate or I've just gone blank on how to respond. I also can’t perfectly explain everything I believe. I believe in the forces of gravity and friction, but I can’t explain them. So... is that really an argument?

Why don't we hear more about transmen getting hurt in male bathrooms? Statistically, women have been harmed more in mixed-sex bathrooms... right? I know female-only bathrooms are important, but I still can't articulate why I'm uncomfortable without simply saying "the history of male violence toward women." And then of course people can call me paranoid and point out transmen doing fine?

Again, I don’t now how to explain why I value female-only spaces without sounding paranoid or saying women are weaker than men. On one hand, AFAIK it is true on an average of physical ability. But on the other hand, do people have a point when they say we’re teaching women to view ourselves as victims? There has to be a balance of pointing out violence and risk patterns without kinda enforcing learned helplessness.

Re: "men do express their emotions but they do it with violence/anger" -> "not all men do that" ...I'm confused because it's true, I rarely see men slamming doors or punching people bc they're upset, but when they do, they're criticized for it bc most people recognize that as shitty behavior. So... how true is this? How much of our own personal witnessing of these experiences counts toward “enough” to make it a generic statement or not? What else can we say to describe men and their relationship w/ emotions?

How far can we say "men do ___" when, duh, not every single man does, but... what constitutes "enough men"? I'm just thinking about this bc my brother gets upset when I make broad statements and he genuinely doesn't fit the male stereotypes, and then I feel stupid because I can't really back up my judgments without just gesturing vaguely to "the history of male behavior." I'd just like to be able to have a more complete response, y'know?

(1/2) We say "cisgender privilege" doesn't exist because women can't oppress men, but then there's the intersectional axis of, for example, white women over black men. White people oppress people of color, and that doesn't change when it's women vs. men. So what do we call this?

(2/2) Secondly, well, a transgender person does face different kinds of adversity that I don’t because I’m not trans. This is a thing. But misdirected misogyny and homophobia are also a thing. Perhaps what they're referring to as "cis privilege" is just gender conforming privilege? I don’t know.

When women talk about hating men, we say it's because men have done so much shit to us. Isn't that similar to someone saying "it's okay, he was bullied/abused so you can't be mad"? How much is mistreated “enough” to say this is okay?

It’s horrifying to me to think of a 13-year-old or a 9-year-old getting put on Lupron or some other experimental puberty blocker, but how do we define children’s autonomy? What about other health problems? Are they allowed to consent to cosmetic treatment after a disfiguring accident? Or would we just say “you should learn to love your body as it is”? I know they’re not truly the same thing, but where is the line? What about a child getting treatment by pills for Schizophrenia? It’s all so complicated.

There are so many arguments that Intersex people do not represent a sex spectrum, and there are lots of other arguments that say they prove that human sex isn’t 100% binary. On one hand, of course it’s binary because of how we reproduce. But on the other hand, how do you define who fits into male/female? A woman with high testosterone, no breasts, no uterus/ovaries, etc. is no less a woman, but why? Women with CAIS have XY chromosomes and testes but are considered female. And what about chromosomes beyond XX and XY? Even if I were to acknowledge that an everyday individual can’t truly define that and that we should leave it to the biologists, we still have to have a decision to make votes and arguments.

Please be respectful if you answer. There are harmful people in every circle, and we’re all just trying to do what we think is right.

[cassolotl]

Trans Doc Fail (FTM pharmacy edition)

Monday 2nd December 2019

~

If you’re in the UK and using Tostran gel, you’re probably already aware that there’s a shortage of Tostran at the moment and folks are being prescribed alternatives (such as Testogel) in the mean time.

A few weeks ago, when I requested more Tostran and was told that it wasn’t available, the pharmacist sent me back to my GP to get an alternative prescribed. My GP called the pharmacist to talk over options, and the pharmacist recommended Testogel.

When I went to pick up my Testogel, the pharmacist called me into the consultation room and started talking about testosterone stuff, and I was honestly quite confused. I just wanted to pick up my prescription! And he wasn’t trying to talk to me about any concerns or problems with my medication or anything like that.

He started by asking about why I need testosterone, and when I said I was nonbinary he didn’t know what that was. I explained that I am on testosterone at a very low dose, as low as it can be while still causing puberty, because I don’t want to be mistaken for a man but I don’t want to be mistaken for a woman either. I got a “does not compute” vibe from him, which quickly turned into “well I don’t understand but that’s not really relevant.” He asked why I wasn’t getting injections, which frankly was none of his business but I’m guessing he just wanted to make sure I was aware that injections were available, and I told him that because I’m nonbinary and don’t want to be mistaken for a man I need to be able to stop testosterone when I feel that I’m in the right place. I didn’t really feel like he got that, either.

He explained to me that male sexual health problems related to testosterone were of special interest to him, and that men often get prescribed stuff like Viagra when no one conducted a blood test to find out whether their testosterone levels were high enough, and actually they could be prescribed testosterone instead. He also told me about various enzymes that boost testosterone, if I was into that idea. He encouraged me to discuss these enzymes with my endocrinologist (the trans specialist in London) if I wanted to boost my testosterone, wrote down their names illegibly, etc. (I nodded and thanked him and assured him that I would do so. I will not do so.)

This was all baffling to me. I’m comfortable with my testosterone levels currently, he was aware that I was already being prescribed testosterone (the thing he is trying to get prescribed to people more often), I had already explained that I didn’t really want my testosterone levels to be high...

I am all for people talking about stuff they’re really interested in and excited about, but like, this is my body and my health, and I got the feeling (what with him not knowing what nonbinary is) that he had no idea what he was really talking about? I had a sneaking suspicion that trans man hormone issues are pretty far away from relevant to my issues in a lot of important ways, let alone cis man hormone issues, and this guy didn’t really express any understanding of trans issues at all. It was all very concerned ego, and it has been bothering me enough that it’s still stuck in my head a couple of weeks later. I’m not a cis man with erection problems flailing at his GP, eesh! I am a trans nonbinary person with complex and fine-tuned transition needs that are already being dealt with sufficiently by a very experienced specialist!

When I got home with my out-of-routine prescription, I found that I had been given sachets of Testogel, and each sachet contained 50mg of testosterone, with instructions to apply one sachet of gel per day. I am currently on 10mg per day. If I had started taking this medication as directed without checking the instructions thoroughly, I would have quintupled my dosage! And anyway, there is no practical way to use a fifth of a sachet per day. The various medical professionals at various stages of this process knew my daily dose and they had one job, and like yeah, people make mistakes and this was an unfamiliar situation for everyone, but I’m still pretty annoyed and somewhat concerned that this was possible.

I wrote to the London gender clinic, explaining what had happened and asking how I should proceed with 50mg sachets. I was wondering if maybe I would be instructed to apply one sachet every 5 days, but the endocrine nurse wrote to my GP (and CCed me) explaining that I needed to be on a lower dose, and recommending the pump bottle of Testogel instead of the sachets. Testogel in a pump form is about 20mg per pump, which is twice my usual dose and twice the dose of one pump of Tostran, but I have already been taught how to apply half-doses: pump the gel onto my skin, let it run a little, and then wipe off half with a tissue and throw the tissue in the bin (not down the toilet).

This is obviously pretty wasteful, but with no Tostran available (smaller pump dosages) there was no alternative.

Don’t tell the NHS but I saved them some money by swapping with someone who had almost a whole can of Tostran left and is on two pumps of that per day. (😱 Don’t share your prescription meds omg!!!) Testogel is 20mg per pump and Tostran is 10mg per pump, so the person I swapped with who usually has two pumps of Tostran can just do one pump of Testogel, and I can do one pump of Tostran as usual, and half a bottle of testosterone is saved from the bin. You’re welcome, NHS.

The moral of the story is: Check your mg-per-day on your usual medication, and when getting an alternative prescribed, make sure in advance that your mg-per-day is the same on your new prescription. It could save you some time, and it could save the NHS some money.

Pharmacists don’t really know what they’re talking about when it comes to trans people, and especially nonbinary people who are getting atypically trans treatments. Do not trust them or follow their instructions without investigating the instructions booklets of your usual and new treatments.

And, if you take some ridiculous 50mg sachets home with you before knowing they’re not quite right, keep them safe! Because the NHS have to destroy all medication that gets returned to them anyway in case it has been stored improperly etc, and you never know when the NHS will run out of testosterone due to Brexit and you’ll have to awkwardly use a fifth of a sachet per day for five months.

[brckenhymns--a]

despite this icon, this is going to be more of a serious post than the last couple of jokey ‘hur dur elita sucks’ esque posts. I’m not putting this under the cut because I think its something that genuinely needs to be addressed right here, right now. 

TO my followers: I genuinely promise this blog isn’t a drama blog, or a drama central blog. It’s both an rp blog, and my way of having fun on this website; I like shit posting and I like writing, and I like making people laugh whenever they see some stupid thing I do on the blog. I understand that stuff like this gets annoying, especially compared to what I normally post (either those aforementioned shitposts, or deep, passion-filled headcanons for under loved characters I adore with just a sprinkle of well-written mlm/wlw that we all could use)

but @c.ieloreign is a genuinely /vile/ fucking person. I already linked all the links to her many callouts, to her many drama posts, to her many ‘i’m going to willingly misgender people and call them slurs’ posts, the many circle-jerky posts where the same 10 people like her posts just because they want to kiss her ass for her purple prose and somewhat decent graphics;

Please, do not give Elita/Dionysus the time of day; she represents everything fucking wrong with people who feel they’re entitled to do what they want and face no reprecussions. She feels the need to use slurs she has no business reclaiming, then pulling the ‘I didn’t mean it like {x} I meant it like {y} card while ignoring the reason why they’re slurs in the first place. She’s grossly truscum and both misgenders people (as myself and leech can attest to) and fully believes that if the person isn’t using he/she/they pronouns, they’re faking it despite the fact that multiple genders that don’t abide by the he/she/they pronoun list is a thing present in many, MANY cultures. She grossly fetishisizes lgbtq+ people, particularly men, for the sake of smut to the point of obsessing over testosterone in her trans friends in conversation not even about it.

She’s so blatantly ableist that she hates the fact that a lot of people on the autism spectrum, such as myself, embrace that about us. In her mind, she thinks its because we think we’re better than everyone else and that we should be worshiped for it, which is a twisted way of thinking when, speaking from my own personal experience, most autistic people embrace it because they’re tired of it being a crutch and they want people to understand them better so they can avoid pain and heartache. 

Elita also has a horrible track record when it comes to stealing art, especially from porn artists, for use in her ocs because ‘porn art is free game and not real art’ (paraphrased from her own fucking words), and then uses the ‘other people do it so I can do it’ argument. No, other people shouldn’t be using art without, at the very least, credit. Permission is preferred, of course, but her lack of even crediting the artists is fucking awful. Even today, she’s still doing it with /tracing/ rather than stealing the art.

This is made worse when, a lot of the time, the art she steals is already someone else’s OC; including stealing a gay trans fursona and turning that character into a horny bi cis man. Even artists that explicitly say ‘don’t use my art’ aren’t safe from her, and when called out, she’ll directly lie to your face about it.

In fact, anything she says is a lie; one of the artists that she stole from called her out for lying in her ‘i talked to the artist’ posts.

And this isn’t new, one off behavior; Elita’s been around for /years/ and shows no willingness to change, instead, wanting to sit on her high throne and accuse everyone else of being the exact problems she is because she can’t face the problems in of herself; It’s like she hates who she is and doesn’t want to face it; and anyone that leaves her echochamber is a villain.

Speaking of that echochamber, she also surrounds herself with other vile people; most notable is a.strahero / b.attlefcrgcd (also known as viral) that has gone on record admitting to both harassing another user, stealing head canons, and lying about their age while underage to write smut. Why this is notable is because, under Elita’s own admission, she and viral have been friends for years, and with Elita’s interest in writing smut and nothing but smut... well, you can see where I’m going with that; Its all speculation, of course, but the evidence points to /that/ being the case. 

I want Elita to change; I want her to realize her mistakes and be a decent person. Yet all the while, she’s misgendered me, she’s lied, she’s called me a r*tard 20+ times and had the audacity to say ‘I don’t mean it because you’re autistic, I mean it because you’re stupid’ despite the fact that the two are synonymous with each other in regards to it being a slur. And worse of all, when called out on it, she likes to pull the ‘i’m [insert minority here] card and ignoring the fact that minorities can be offensive to each other; being part of a minority doesn’t negate that offensiveness to other minorities. Hell, she still misgendered leech and had the audacity to say ‘oh whoops it was a typo’ despite the fact that it’s almost impossible to typo ‘he/they’ as a different gender, and she still traces art to this day.  She’s not going to change, and this type of behavior is something we shouldn’t welcome in the rpc. it’s a step below outright abusive, and if it wouldn’t be tolerated irl, it absolutely shouldn’t be tolerated here. 

I guess what I’m saying is; i’m sorry for the drama, but this needs to happen to better the community, especially as someone directly affected by this person. 

[adapted-batteries]

Out from the Facades

Fandom: The Librarians

Rating: General, sfw, some swearing

Relationship: Jazekiel

Word Count: 2236

Going off a previous post where I headcanoned Stone as a trans guy, this is a fic revolving around that, and the concept of found family for June 4th's prompt: Found Family.

Also posted on my Ao3.

-----

Jacob came home, hair cut short, with a button down shirt from the thrift store, trying to ignore the uncomfortableness of the too small sports bra he was using to bind. His father was usually home later, so he figured he’d have some time to think up what he was going to say, and where he could go if he ended up getting kicked out.

Unfortunately, Isaac Stone was standing at the kitchen counter, looking at some bill that had come in the mail that day. His father looked up, squinting at the open door from the bright Oklahoma afternoon. When Jacob unfroze and shut the door, Isaac sucked in a breath.

“So, you’re a boy now,” Isaac said, inspecting Jacob like he was a prize heifer at the county fair. While his feet could move, Jacob’s throat did not want to cooperate, so Isaac continued. “Since you couldn’t even be a decent girl, you better be a better man, you understand?”

Jacob nodded, mentally finishing the thought that came next: because I can’t have a queer for a kid.

So that’s what Jacob did. So long as he acted like a good ol’ boy, everyone went along with it. He was surprised how quickly people just decided that yeah, Rebecca Stone was actually Jacob Stone, star of the high school football team, more than capable of drinking with the actual linebackers, and making the same comments, though thankfully he never felt compelled to act on them like others did.

But the real shocker was how easily Isaac Stone swept the notion of Rebecca, the rough tomboy, under the rug like he had with his late wife's heritage. Surprising support wrapped in the ultimate thought that if things weren't right by themselves, he'd force it into a more acceptable image and move on. He’d drive Stone to Oklahoma City for hormone replacement therapy until he could drive himself, his father hid of all the pictures past baby stage that indicated a girl that wasn’t on board with being one, and somehow never misgendered him.

Of course, his father didn’t have to worry about misgendering if he wasn’t home, or was passed out drunk on the couch if he was.

By the time Jacob turned 18, no one made any mistakes. He’d been blessed by the transgender gods, spending most of his formative years on testosterone, and soon got top surgery in the city (thankfully paid for before his father completely ran the company into the dirt). To complete the perfect picture, he got himself a nice, manly job oil rigging. It was easy to forget he’d ever been Rebecca first.

But jacob couldn’t ignore how much of a fuckup he still was. No one knew that he’d went to college instead of “a stint up on the Keystone pipeline,” that he’d published dozens of scholarly essays on art and literature of all sorts while “apprenticing to be a surveyor,” that he still liked men even though he was a convincing fake womanizer. Despite briefly living more like who he really was, he was terrified of what would happen if the people back home found out. So, what better way to prevent that than to come back to Oklahoma and work long hours on a dead-end pipeline job, biding his time until Isaac decided he’d done enough to murder his company and let Jacob actually take over.

And then, when he was at the bar with some of his buddies, after dutifully hitting on the hot foreign chick with a Latin tattoo, ninjas showed up, and a NATO counter terrorism officer saved his ass.

The Library made it really hard to be Jacob Stone, manly oil rigger from Oklahoma, because he wasn’t any use to the Library for just that. No, Jacob Stone, brilliant scholar and expert in all things liberal arts, that was exactly who the Library needed to repeatedly save the world. And Jacob realized that, hey, it was pretty nice to actually be the real Jacob Stone, the one under all those facades.

The problem was old habits, ones that were decades in the making, were hard to break. It took him a few months to quit instinctively playing stupid before realizing, no, he didn’t have to do that. Only recently did he actually tell his colleagues what he was always busy working on in their off time, still publishing under Dr. Oliver Thompson, though the thought of abandoning the pseudonyms gave him the same fear that kept him hidden in Oklahoma.

At least the artificial interest in women was becoming not so artificial, but then there was Ezekiel Jones, doing his damn best to remind Jacob how not straight he was. And he still wasn’t totally truthful with the team; no one knew he was trans. Though he knew he didn’t owe them that bit of personal history, it felt like one more mask still hanging on his face.

And then the Library sent them to one of his father’s new sites in Wagner, and his past that he tried to shed came rearing its head all at once. Fortunately his father had hired local contractors who didn’t know Jacob, but he couldn’t do much about Isaac himself, or the fact they were dealing with some Choctaw mythology causing a ruckus, with protestors who seemingly could see through his white-passing visage and into his native blood.

It was as if the universe decided that he needed to actually confront the cultural past he’d carefully locked away years ago with his mother’s death, and the past he’d managed to lock away recently with becoming a Librarian. And maybe he actually would.

Isaac, of course, was off being useless in a bar, so naturally he got to introduce his colleagues to his father in his worst state.

“The hell you doin’ here?” Isaac was looking at him, just like he had that afternoon 25 years ago.

It took all of his willpower to not just turn around and leave. “...hey Pop.”

They managed to convince Isaac that he was just a surveyor assistant to Ezekiel, though part of him was on guard in case Cassandra decided to throw down with his father’s disgusting misogynistic behavior (he was convinced she gave Isaac a headache with all the jargon she threw around, so she got some revenge). It was easy knowing what to say to keep Isaac from suspecting anything, to get him to cooperate (especially considering he was oiled with alcohol), but after effectively being “out” intellectually for a year, it hurt to shove himself back into the good ol’ boy role, even if part of him was screaming it was the safe thing to do.

Being locked in the truth chamber was a thrilling experience, in that his anxiety about kept them from escaping. He thought he was going to have to come out right there to Ezekiel and Cassandra, but thankfully the door was happy enough with him talking about his father.

In the end, even after getting a practice run with Hokolonote, he realized it didn’t matter if Isaac had no clue who he really was. Isaac would never care, because Jacob still ended up being the family fuck up, just the “turnin’ your back on your family” one. He left Oklahoma with a different hurt, the low ache of realizing he never actually had genuine family to begin with.

And then he spent more time with the Librarians, and that ache began to fade. These people he worked with, saved, got saved by, knew him as he was, and loved him for it. And realized he felt the exact same way about them. He near spooked himself with how much he cared if Eve had died by Dulac’s sword, if Ezekiel got killed by anubis’s werewolves, if Cassandra didn’t make it through the surgery, if Flynn hadn’t been strong enough to take in evil while they scrambled for a solution to Apep, if Jenkins somehow died (thank god he was immortal). Family was only half of having people care about you; you had to care about them too.

He had family.

But he didn’t want any secrets with the family, and he still had one left tugging on his heart. And who better to tell than the other professional faker on the team.

He cornered Ezekiel in the main room while the others went about doing whatever they were doing. “Hey, Ezekiel, can we talk?”

Ezekiel looked at him, a mix of confusion and concern, since Jacob rarely pulled the first name card for him. “Sure, mate. Is something wrong?”

“No...uh, just, let’s go somewhere more private,” Jacob said, about-facing and walking deeper into the Library. Ezekiel followed him, and he knew the thief was suddenly hyper aware of everything because Jacob caught him off-guard.

The wandered for a bit, eventually far enough from the others and any main walkways where someone might come near. “Okay, what’s this about?” Ezekiel asked, folding his arms.

Jacob took a death breath. “I’ve not been completely truthful about my past-”

Ezekiel cut him off. “No one ever is, least of all me, so what of it?”

“No, just-” Jacob rubbed his face in frustration “-I know you and Cassandra found out I’d lied to my father about myself for decades, but that’s not the only thing about me you don’t know.”

“Okay?” Ezekiel just looked at him even more confused. “Are you like, coming out or something? Because that isn’t a big deal, I mean it is, but like, Cassandra has a girlfriend, mate, and you know I’m not the straightest bloke around.”

“You’re not?” Jacob shook his head, ignoring that bit of apparently obvious information for now. “I, uh, well, yeah, Jones, I’m coming out. I’m trans.”

There was an awkward silence as Ezekiel tried to figure out what Jacob meant by that. “Congrats?” He opened and closed his mouth a few times like he was trying out sentences in his head and deeming them not appropriate, and then a flood of words came out. “Um, so, do you have like prefered pronouns you want me to use? Are you thinking about a new name? Cuz that’s cool too. Are you still into women, or do you not want me to set you up anymore-”

Jacob felt like he’d been doing Atlas’s job for him, and Atlas had finally relieved him. “Ezekiel,” Jacob started to get the thief to quiet, “I’m a trans man.”

“Ooh, okay.” Ezekiel, despite his ability to don a quality poker face, had no control over the blush on his face right then.

Deciding he had nothing left to lose, Jacob decided to answer Ezekiel’s last question. “And you can stop with setting me up with women too...because I’m not straight either.” He let out a bark of a laugh at how surreal he felt, which made Ezekiel startle. Apparently Ezekiel realized how big this was for Jacob, because he was looking at him in amazement now. “I can’t believe I’ve not told anyone else that in two and a half decades.”

“You...it’s been that long?” Ezekiel blinked in disbelief. “How did you hide that?”

Jacob shrugged. “You’d be surprised how easily people will ignore things if you fit in somehow. And I wasn’t ever totally hidden...you met Slaten. He knew me, well, more than anyone else until the Library.” He knew what was coming next after he said that.

“Were you...together?”

A smile crept onto Jacob’s face, reminiscent. “It’s the worst when you fall for your straight best friend.”

“It really is,” Ezekiel replied, and then his expression changed to something more serious, his posture annoyingly more seductive with just a slight tilt of his head and angle of his hips. “Now I pride myself in reading people, a necessary skill for effective grifting, and, well, when I first met you, you gave off some repressed gay vibes for sure. Was there something more when you shoved me against that bookcase when ninjas were invading the Library for the crown?”

Jacob thought back to that moment. “Not exactly, I mean, I'm a fighter so my first thought was to immobilize you.” Ezekiel raised an eyebrow, but Jacob had more to say. He stepped closer to Ezekiel as he said, “then my second thought was you looked like you were enjoying it.” Now he was almost toe to toe with Ezekiel, and the thief had certainly picked up on where he was going. “And my third thought was that I enjoyed looking at you like that.”

Conveniently, they were near a bookcase, not the one from the memory, but close enough. With all other thoughts out the window, Jacob grabbed Ezekiel by the shirt and pushed him against the bookcase. Ezekiel let out a little gasp when his back hit the wood, making Jacob's heart flip in his chest. What he said was true; Jacob was enjoying pinning Ezekiel to the bookcase, and based on Ezekiel's turned on expression, he was too.

Ezekiel interrupted his observations. “Are you just going to look at me?”

“Hmm, I might with that attitude,” Jacob purred. Ezekiel scoffed, but he glanced down at Jacob's mouth, and then Jacob couldn't resist any longer. He relaxed his elbows and brought his face near inches away from Ezekiel's, but something making him hesitate.

Ezekiel read him like an open book. “You aren't second guessing, are you? There's nothing wrong with who you are, though your wardrobe could still use help-”

“Oh, shut it,” Jacob growled, but he didn't back away.

“Make me, cowboy,” Ezekiel retorted. That was enough to get Jacob to close the remaining distance and press his lips onto Ezekiel's.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration for him to say he felt fireworks when Ezekiel kissed back.

This was his family, this building, these people. Blood wasn't everything, despite what the folks back home thought. It only took him 40 years to find it, but he was very glad he did.

-----

Post Notes: So, this is some idyllic world where trans teens got HRT in the 80's, which as far as Google would tell me, wasn't a thing until more recently. Also, since I used “And What Lies Beneath the Stones” for reference on Jacob and Isaac interacting, I also noticed how the one protestor reacted when he looked at Stone, and my brain decided that was him recognizing Choctaw or another tribe in Stone because that's also a fun headcanon in my head from when people mentioned it way back.

I picture this happening after season four, so technically the LiTs don't remember the whole Jenkins dying bit (I feel like Flynn and Eve wouldn't say for time line stability, since Flynn does watch out for that already from “And the Final Curtain”).

[aridara]

So, apparently, @terfslurring​ didn’t like it when I called out her “Trans people reject the biological reality of sex and want to impose gender roles on everyone!” bullshit, and decided to write me some responses. By reblogging a completely different thread that wasn’t about trans people (it was about abortion), but whatever.

So I decided to answer them here.

First post: two quotes from Andrea Dworkin. Which have nothing to do with the argument at hand. Next.

Second post: A pamphlet about “How to spot MRA ideology”. Which basically tries to claim that Men’s Rights Activists and trans activist are somehow the same thing. Which is patently ridiculous.

For example, the first page claims that MRAs:

... Are anti-feminist. (True.)

...Focus on issues that, according to MRAs themselves, discriminate against men. (True in the sense that MRAs do claim that those issues discriminate against men; whether those issues actually discriminate against men or not is another issue entirely.)

...Often use the term “TERF” against feminists. (False. MRAs don’t care about whether feminists are against trans people or not.)

The second page claims that MRAs often label themselves “Trans Rights Activists”, or “TRA”. Which is completely and utterly false: the most cursory exploration of any MRA website (for example r/mensrights, A Voice For Men, Heartiste...) will show that MRAs are openly against trans people, frequently vilify them and declare them to be mentally ill, openly advocate in favor of forcibly institutionalizing trans people to “fix” them, etc.

There’s more lies in that pamphlet, like the lie that trans advocates deny the existence of sexism or the lie that TERFs do not claim that “trans women are violent predators, pedophiles and rapists”. But really, just the fact that the pamphlet tried to conflate a pro-trans group with a very anti-trans one is enough to dismiss it as total bullshit.

Third post... Oh, boy, I’ll need quotes for this.

Gender Critical Feminism

is a term used by those in the feminist community who consider gender a harmful social construct that is confused with -but distinct from -biological sex.

The World Health Organization defines gender as “the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women”.WHO: gender equity, human rights

Except that trans people are talking about gender identity, not gender roles.

Gender identity (which is what most people and especially trans people and advocates refer to when they say “gender”) is, by definition, self-determined. You decide the label of your own gender identity, and how to express yourself; nobody else can do it for you.

Gender role (which is what pretty much only trans-exclusionary feminists refer to when they say “gender”) is the idea that people should act in a certain way depending on what genitalia they have. By definition, you’re trying to tell other people what to do.

Trans advocates advocate in favor of letting everyone express their own gender identity however they want. TERFs falsely claim that trans advocates are in favor of imposing gender roles on everyone, whether they want it or not - which is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what trans advocates are doing.

Gender critical feminists believe the definition of “man” and the definition of “woman” should be based solely on biology, rather than on “masculine” or “feminine” personality traits or an innate sense of gender identity.

They recognize those with XX-chromosomes, ovaries designed to produce large egg cells, female genitalia, and a relatively high level of estrogen and progesterone as biologically female. They define “woman” as an adult human female.

They recognize those with XY-chromosomes, testes designed to produce small sperm cells, male genitalia, and a relatively high level of testosterone as biologically male. They define “man” as an adult human male.

Intersex people, who represent less than 0.02% of the entire population are those whose chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, and genitals do not conform to the biological binary of female or male bodies. Gender critical feminists recognize intersex people as a distinct group of people with an empirically diagnosable medical condition.

Alright. So, as I’ve repeatedly stated, pretty much all transphobes do three things.

1. They claim that there’s only two separate human sexes (plus eventually a small amount of exceptions, tiny enough to be ignored). According to Terfslurring, “gender critical feminists” fit the bill.

2. They claim that sex must be determined by looking at specific sex-determining characteristics. Again: according to Terfslurring, “gender critical feminists” fit the bill - they look at chromosomes (XX versus XY), gonads (ovaries versus testicles), genitalia (I suppose vagina versus penis), and hormone levels (high estrogen + progesterone versus high testosterone).

3. They believe that making everyone determine everyone’s sex in the “correct” way (see the above) is VERY important. This is blatantly obvious - whenever goes against the “there’s only two separate sexes” claim (for example, by saying that sex is a spectrum), gender-critical feminists actively oppose that someone and claim that they’re wrong. Likewise, whenever someone goes against the “chromosomes/gonads/genitalia/hormones determine a person’s sex” claim (for example, by respecting a person’s chosen identity, regardless of their genitalia), gender-critical feminists actively oppose that someone and claim that they’re wrong.

So, here’s something fun that I want to point out: transphobes love to claim that their beliefs are absolutely correct and precise, and that whoever refuses to determine people’s sex in the “correct” way must necessarily be in the wrong.

This also applies to the transphobes themselves. They don’t get to viciously attack anyone who goes against the “there’s only two separate sexes” claim when THEY THEMSELVES go against that same claim.

For example, let’s take everyone on the planet and divide them like gender-critical feminists want me to.

Everyone who has XX chromosomes, ovaries, a vagina, an uterus, and high levels of estrogen and progesterone will go in the “FEMALE” box.

Everyone who has XY chromosomes, testicles, a penis, and high levels of testosterone will go in the “MALE” box.

Everyone else will go in the “EXCEPTIONS” box.

Here’s the problem: the exceptions are way, way, WAY more than 0,02% of the human population. So, I can’t ignore them.

But if I can’t ignore them, then I must accept that there aren’t just two separate human sexes.

And if I accept that there aren’t just two separate human sexes, gender-critical feminists will declare that I’m wrong.

Conclusion: according to gender-critical feminist theory, gender-critical feminist theory is wrong. So, I’ll throw it out.

Moving on.

“Cisgender”

The Oxford English Dictionary defines cisgender as “denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity conforms with the gender that corresponds to their biological sex; not transgender.

”Gender critical feminists object to the idea that their “self-identity” “conforms” with the feminine gender role they were assigned at birth. They reject their assigned gender traits and roles as a form of oppression, and do not “self-identify” with them at all.

This is more of that thing where trans advocates talk about gender identity, and gender-critical feminists talk about gender roles.

On the plus side, it means that gender-critical feminists have absolutely no argument against gender identity.

According to trans-inclusive feminists, being cisgendered means that biological women and girls have “cisgender privilege” which is defined as the “set of unearned advantages that individuals who identify as the gender they were assigned at birth accrue solely due to having a cisgender identity”.

Gender critical feminists do not believe that both being biologically female and knowing you are biologically female makes you a member of a privileged class. Nor do they believe males who identify as female are more oppressed than actual females.

What follows is a long list of statistics about issues that women face due to sexism. I’ll spare you, because I don’t actually object to those statistics.

What I do object to, is Terfslurring’s claim that transphobia - which is oppression from cis people (men or women) against trans people (men, women or otherwise) - doesn’t exist because sexism - which is oppression from men (cis or otherwise) against women (cis or otherwise) doesn’t exist. Which makes as much sense as claiming that racism doesn’t exist because sexism exists.

Likewise, Terfslurring is trying to imply that cis women can’t be transphobic towards trans women, because cis women are victims of sexism from men. Which makes as much sense as “white women can’t be racist towards black men, because cis women are victims of sexism from men”.

Then there’s a bunch of lies that aim to absolve TERFs from their transphobia. I’ll just give you the highlights.

Despite claims that “transwomen are women” gender critical feminists note that laws based on gender identity allow any predatory male to claim a female identity and gain access to vulnerable women in shelters, locker rooms, restrooms, and prisons. 

Except that those laws have NOT helped predatory males to gain access to vulnerable women. For example, the “If we let trans women in women’s bathroom, predatory men will assault women in bathrooms!” panic? A complete fabrication made from homophobic groups.

Lesbian feminist Janice Raymond is frequently accused of having “blood on her hands” for single-handedly denying government funding and insurance coverage for transgender surgery/hormone treatment.

According to The Terfs.com “It was only after the NCHCT [National Center for Health Care Technology] published Raymond’s bigotry in 1980 that the US government reversed course in 1981 and took up Raymond’s views and rhetoric.”48

But the US state and federal government had never funded sex change procedures, so the accusation makes no sense.

This is false. Before 1981, the USA did fund trans care. The USA changed their stance after the OHTA Report was issued.

Still, trans activists claim a single sentence by Janice Raymond included in the 15 page NCHCT report (“transsexual surgery is controversial in our society”) caused the US state and federal government, under the Reagan administration, to reject government funding for sex change procedures. 

False. The NCHCT asked Raymond to write a report about the ethical and social aspects of trans care.

The USA state didn’t “reject government funding for sex change procedures” because of the NCHCT report, unlike what Terfslurring is claiming; it did because of the OHTA (Office of Health Technology Assessment) report. The OHTA report made three claims - one of which was that ”transsexual surgery is controversial in our society”. Two sources were used to back up that claim:

Raymond’s NCHCT report, which was about the ethical and social aspects of trans care (NOT about the economical or experimental aspects). The entire report - not a “single sentence”.

A review of Raymond’s 1979 book, “The Transsexual Empire, The Making of the She-Male”.

Along with allegedly denying the existence of transgender people, gender critical feminists are accused of being responsible for the high murder rate of transgender people even though transgender people are overwhelmingly murdered by men...

Except that gender-critical feminists promote the same “trans women are violent rapists” mentality that those men use to justify their attacking - and killing - trans women.

...and have high rates of involvement in the extremely dangerous sex trade.

44% of black transgender people and 33% of latino transgender people have experience in the sex trade. People involved in the sex trade are 18 times more likely to be murdered than others of their same race and class.

Funny that 1) you haven’t confronted statistics between cis and trans people;

And 2) you actively refute any testimony from transgender people. Including those black/latino trans people in the sex trade - especially when they try to tell you that, having experienced both sexism, racism and transphobia, they can tell the difference between the three.

But no. You just immediately assume that they don’t know what they’re talking about, and that all transphobia is just misguided homophobia/sexism/whorephobia/anything-that-isn’t-transohobia. Old tactic.

Despite this, trans activists rarely blame male sex buyers (or males in general)...

This is blatantly false. Just look at how often they talk about male transphobic groups.

Also, “male sex buyers”? ...Why do I suspect that you’re also against sex work (not “sex trade”, I’ve said sex work)?

There’s more, but frankly, I had enough.

[unicorn313]

Ok, so i’m not sure if I have any Norwegian followers here, but this is some info for all the Norwegian Trans people out there. (I realize this might also be interesting for other trans people too). I’m sorry this is so long XD 

Disclaimer: This is only stuff I know from my own experience, feel free to add stuff. As a trans man I don’t really know much about what happens for trans women, but I imagine that steps 1-3 are the same. At the bottom there’s some tips for all.

So, In Norway we have this system where you have to go to the national hospital, which is in Oslo, to get your treatment. The whole prossess to get hormones and surgeries is quite long so I kinda made a step by step list here:

1. You have to talk to a therapist about getting a referral to the national hospital. If you don’t have a therapist already, talk to your doctor and get them to refer you to one. You should tell your doctor why you want that referral, so the therapist knows what to prepare for. 

When the therapist decide that you are mentally stable, i.e. no depression or anxiety, which you unfortunately have to get treated for before you get a referral (This is not them being mean, this is just them making sure that you are in the right state of mind to make this huge decision). When they decide you’re fit, they will send a referral. This might take some time, it took three months for me to get my first appointment. 

2. The second part of the process will at least take a year. About each other month you will have to go to the national hospital (more tips on transport later) to talk to a therapist. These people are trained in their field and work to figure out if you actually are trans or if there is something else that needs to be addressed. They want to figure out if you are totally sure that this is what you want, the hormone treatment we use in Norway have a quick effect and many of the changes are irreversible. 

During this year you should also do a thing called a “real life test”. This is when you live like the gender you feel like for a year to be sure that it is correct. During your first appointment, they will recommend that you change your legal name and pronouns and this is to have a proper real life test. I’m sorry for y’all who have disapproving parents and/or friends, but at this stage it will not be possible to stay fully in the closet if you really want hormones.

To change your name you have to be 18 or need a legal guardian to sign the form. You can do it here: 

https://www.skatteetaten.no/person/folkeregister/endre-navn/?gclid=CjwKCAjwiN_mBRBBEiwA9N-e_nGnR8v0ckBsWTaVYSq8WQ9noxgH4cvKSi_h5CPs_YAa3vBhAxbM1BoCTUUQAvD_BwE 

P.S: You can only change your name once every ten years, so you have to be sure of your new name. You can, however, change it back to your old name any time. 

Here is the link for changing your legal gender, I think the same rules apply:

https://www.skatteetaten.no/person/folkeregister/endre-kjonn/?gclid=CjwKCAjwiN_mBRBBEiwA9N-e_ncJ-WqFQhdkciimMagIMzLosdlX8-ah54nOrIAml8kodAqVpteDpxoCN9AQAvD_BwE

(if the links don’t work, they show up when you google changing your name)

3. When they have decided that yes, you are trans, you get a diagnosis and they put you on the waiting list for hormones. This can take about 6 months, as there are few doctors and high demand (not only trans people, cis people have problems with their hormone balance too) 

You will get an appointment with the hormone doctor and they will take a general look at your body, how much hair you have, amount of pimples, take your blood pressure etc. Then they will tell you what changes you will experience, both the good and the bad. Ex: Men get muscles but can also get a lot of pimples.

About a week later you will have your prescription and you can have your doctor inject it. In Norway (this is for trans men) you get a 4ml shot of testosterone in your buttock. This hurts like a motherf******er but you will be so happy. I promise. The first two will probably be quite close to each other, but normally you take 4 shots a year. Every shot hurts less, but you might have problems sitting the rest of the day. (I spent the day of my first shot sitting on my knees by the dinner table). 

The good thing with 4ml testosterone, is that it’s a lot and it has a quick effect. I started noticing changes in my voice after a month, and now after 1,5 year on it no one doubts that I’m a man. Also, normally you stop getting your period after a month, but be careful because you might still be able to get pregnant. Also, cramps are still a thing.

4. Surgeries. What we all want right? If i remember correctly there is some boring bureaucracy here. You first have to have an information meeting where they tell you all about the different operations. PS: they want you to have a BMI (stupid measurement i know) on under 30 to consider it safe to operate. Then you need another appointment to get referral to the plastic surgeons and the other hospital that takes care of the removal of ovaries.

Waiting time for the removal of your ovaries is about 6 months, while top surgery is about a year after a consultation with the surgeon. Waiting time for bottom surgery is about 2 years after the consultation. 

The reasoning for the waiting time is that you get better results after longer time on hormone treatment, plus there’s high demand. 

When you remove your ovaries it will be on the women’s ward, so it might be triggering but they are really nice over there. Be prepared for it to hurt a bit, I was sure I would be able to go about my life as usual 2 days after, and boy was I wrong. Get ready for laying on your bed for a while. BUT you should be in some activity. Go for a short walk every day when you feel good enough. You will also bleed for a while (don’t be scared if it stops for a few days and then starts again, if you don’t have to change your pad once every hour you’re good), but when you are totally done bleeding you will be free of that struggle for the rest of your life. 

I will have to update when I’m done with the other surgeries, but I’m expecting happiness mixed with pain and discomfort. It will be worth it though, No more binding.

Ok, some other smart tips:

- Traveling to Oslo is expensive, but if you call “Pasientreiser” (find the number on google), they will order plane tickets for you. Make sure to keep your receipts so you can get some refund. This you have to apply for at Helsenorge.no (maybe at minjournal.no if you live on the east coast)  

- Binder: you can get a custom made binder sent to you for free. Ask the people at the hospital. Make sure you take care with selecting the type and doing your measurements, mine didn’t fit as it should. 

- Testosterone: you get a “blue prescription”, which means that you only pay part of the testosterone, which is good cuz that shit be expensive. (You don’t pay for it after getting your freecard)

- Freecard (frikort): In Norway, because we have free healthcare, we only have to pay part of the doctor’s fee. After using about 2500kr in a year, you get a free card, which means that you don’t have to pay the deductible for doctor’s appointments or the hormones. This also applies to appointments with your therapist.

- Under 18: you won’t get a surgery before you turn 18. But if you are a preteen, you might get hormone blockers that will halt your puberty. If you are a parent and you think your kid is trans, take them to a therapist to find out. 

- I overheard someone talking at the waiting room, and I think Trans women can get shampoo that make their hair grow faster. Trans women also have a right to get laser treatment or waxing of their body hairs. Talk to the doctors about this.

I know this seems like a lot of waiting time, and yes it is. But keep in mind that this is for the best, as we both make sure that this is the right choice and the hormones get to be in our system long enough for the surgeries to get good results. You would be surprised to know how fast time passes. Just try to keep yourself occupied with activities. I also recommend working out, if you go online you can find exercises that help your body look more feminine/masculine 

[an-awkward-tangerine]

Hi there, I'm not here to have a go at anyone. I hope that you can hear me out and that this doesn't become an arguement, more of a debate. I'm also not attempting to completely change anyone's mind, I know that's not realistic and I don't want to harass anyone. I saw the post about the girl who had a terrible experience with a trans woman. My heart goes out to her as that does sound horrible, and I'm sure there are others with similar stories with trans women who are predatory. Iike you, I'm also very suspicious of Jessica too and definitely think they may have just been lying. I want to make it clear that I do not stand by that person's actions at all and fully condemn them for how they treated the woman who posted that. Making someone feel that unsafe is disgusting and theres no way they had no idea they were making her feel that way.

This may sound horribly like the bullshit "nOt AlL mEn ArGuMeNt" to begin with but please do hear me out. The chances of a man assaulting you are what? About 1/6 now isn't it. Thats disgustingly high. What is it for trans people? Much much lower. And even though we all make jokes about men and that kind of thing, no one denies their existence, ignores scientific studies of the brain that prove testosterone is present (there was an experiment somewhere I cant remember but I'm sure of you google it you'll be able to find it pretty fast) and the like, or anything like that.

I trust the trans men in my life immensely. While I am not denying that trans men are capable of assaulting or harassing people, its definitely a lot less likely than cis men as they had to put up with it themselves for a while right. So trans men aren't really a problem in this sense. As with all demographics, there are always a few people who are just horrible. But why on Earth should we treat trans people the way we do? The things about trans youths having access to hrt and surgery isn't really up to them. If they're under 18 they couldn't vote for it could they, so why get mad at that.

I totally agree that predatory people should be punished. Regardless of their gender. That's fine. But just going straight up against the whole idea of trans people makes no sense. Predatory people will behave in predatory ways, however they identify, this will continue until we just PROPERLY teach children (particularly young boys) about consent and similar topics, and if we just do that, it won't matter who uses which bathroom because we will stop the REAL PROBLEM at its starting point.

The majority of trans people have not done anything wrong so it seems unreasonable to discriminate against them while 99percent of them ACTUALLY are innocent. They aren't hurting you so don't hurt them.

That's just how I feel as a cis, female feminist.

You don't have to agree with me but I do ask that you respect me if you share a response as I feel I have been respectful to you. I'm not saying you wont ofc I'm just saying that as sometimes tone of voice is lost in text :)

Many radfems have made very long and detailed answers to ask like these, so I'll keep it simple.

The very idea of gender identity is sexist. The very fact that we can't change sex make it impossible to respect trans demands and women rights simultaneously.

Since we can't differentiate between good and bad males, or between "true trans women" and posers, we need to keep laws based on sex.

I've seen so much bullshit coming from trans people that even if 99% are OK by your standards, it doesn't mean they're OK by mine. See all the fetishist, the pedophiles, the groomers, the rapists. FtM guides on how to fuck gay men without them finding out their sex.

Even if normie trans people are fine, the trans cult is creating and fostering a belief that empower predators.

I'm against a system not individuals. The poor poor trans people can totally help defend women rights but they don't.

[tmitransitioning]

I've been on meds for my PCOS for years, but I wanna start T within the next few years. Does T affect PCOS symptoms? Would I need to quit my treatment beforehand? I'd ask my doctor, but I'm not out yet nor do I want to yet. I'm pretty sure the meds are to lower my testosterone levels, but that seems counterproductive to T.

Since you don’t say which PCOS med/s you’re on, it’s impossible to say that you will or won’t be able to continue your treatment, but you’ll want to discuss your treatment of PCOS with the doctor who is prescribing your hormones.  Generally, that doctor is either an endocrinologist, a primary care doctor, or an ob/gyn, all of who would likely have some level of training in PCOS (a hormonal condition) treatment as well as transition medicine-- that means they would be able to tell you how these two things would interact.  as you see, there’s a very, very long list of medication used to treat PCOS (and an even longer list of medication used to treat side effects with PCOS, or medications used off-label for PCOS).  With the exception of the majority of the infertility medications, all of these meds can be safely used in cis men, and could also be safely used in a trans man on testosterone. However, if you’re simply on a med to lower your testosterone level because “it’s too high” or you’re having androgenic symptoms (increased hairiness, for example), there would be no reason to remain on that medication simply to control that effect when you’re trying to achieve that with T therapy. If you want to, you could talk to your doctor about the goals of your therapy using this type of a script. “i’m thinking about my meds.  i know this one is for my PCOS, but what, exactly is it supposed to do for my body.” (answer...) If it turns out that all it does is make you appear more cis but not relieve any of the pain and suffering of PCOS, or reduce any health risks, you can absolutely say “you know, all that stuff doesn’t bother me. is there any medical reason i should keep taking it or can i minimize the amount of medicine i’m having to take every day?”In this way, you can find out exactly what the med is doing, whether or not it’s doing anything functional for your health or just correcting a problem that you don’t actually have, and (maybe) stop a med that you don’t need to be on if you would like to, all without coming out to someone you’re not ready to be out to. we have lot of info in our PCOS tag but the most relevant two posts are here with regards to side effects.  Mod mayhem

[gloverdominic92]

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[iamthestrangerinmoscow]

my thoughts on the ‘are genital preferences transphobic’ controversy

[warning! includes discussion of reproductive anatomy and may cause dysphoria in some people]

I don’t want to spend four paragraphs on the introduction so I’ll just say it now - no, I don’t think genital preferences are transphobic because it is not a trans only thing. (However, making generalizing statements like ‘I would never date a trans person’ is definitely transphobic, and I’ll explain why in a minute’).

When people say they wouldn’t date or have sex with a trans person, they are making a generalizing statement which they think makes sense - but it actually doesn’t. What they actually mean is ‘I wouldn’t date or have sex with a person whose anatomy doesn’t match societal norms of what their anatomy is supposed to be like’. And the problem with that switch is that it is profoundly inaccurate.

So let’s say a cis straight man doesn’t want to date a trans woman because she doesn’t have a vagina. Well, first of all, he is already making a categorization mistake because some trans women have vaginas! Bottom surgery is a thing. Sure, it is not accessible to all trans women, and some trans women don’t want it (and that’s okay!), but it is still a categorical mistake. Same goes for trans men since they also can get bottom surgery. ‘No trans woman has a vagina’ is an incorrect statement, just like ‘no trans man has a penis’.

And the second categorical mistake here is ‘all cis women have vaginas’ or ‘all cis men have penises’. And this one is rarely mentioned in the debates, and I don’t know why, because it is probably the more important point. Not all cis men and women have the same reproductive anatomy because of many different reasons and it seems like nobody is aware of that.

Some women are intersex. For example, women with CAIS (complete androgen insensitivity syndrome) are born with external genitalia that isn't in any way ambiguous, but with no uterus, no ovaries and internal testes. And women with partial AIS might have a small or narrow vagina and an enlarged clitoris that resembles a small penis. Women with CAH (congenital adrenal hyperplasia) can also have an enlarged clitoris, a small vagina, even labia minora that resemble testicles, and a uterus and ovaries at the same time. There are a lot of possibilities.

Some cis women aren’t intersex, but still have anatomy that doesn’t match our societal ideas of what biosex female bodies are supposed to be like. Some women just have a really small vaginal canal that makes penetrative sex impossible. Some have high testosterone levels due to conditions like PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which can also cause an enlarged clitoris (up to 5cm!) and labia minora, and fragile vaginal walls that make penetrative sex very uncomfortable and potentially dangerous. Hell, 1 in 20 000 biosex females is born with a cloaca! Nature isn’t binary!

Some cis men have micropenises, for various reasons - intersex conditions, hormonal differences, physical trauma to the testicles, etc. Some cis men have no penises - due to accidents or cancer. Some cis men have persistent erectile dysfunction that makes penetrative sex tricky or impossible. Some men just have small penises, for no reason other than natural variation in the human species, but it might still make penetrative sex difficult.

So what I am saying here is that if a cis woman were to tell you ‘hey I have CAH so my clitoris is really big and vaginal sex is very uncomfortable for me’, would you immediately dump her? If a cis man were to tell ‘hey I am an army veteran and I lost my penis in an accident’, would you immediately dump him?

Maybe you would. I’m not saying you wouldn’t, or that it is necessarily a bad thing (though you have to agree, it is a little bit shallow). What I’m saying is, you are making a semantic mistake by equating ‘I wouldn't date a trans person’ with ‘I wouldn’t date a person if I can’t engage in penis-in-vagina sex with them’ or any other similar statement.

It’s simply an incorrect logical argument. It’s like if you didn’t want to date someone with red hair and made a chain of conclusions like this: I don’t like people with red hair; there are many people with red hair in Ireland; therefore I don’t want to date Irish people. And the problem with this is that not all Irish people have red hair, and not all people with red hair are Irish. See my point now? And if you made a video titled ‘why I would never date an Irish person’, what point would it achieve, apart from making Irish people feel bad?

And like, I get it. Maybe you really don’t want to date a woman with a penis, so you exclude some trans women and some intersex women and some other women as well, and that’s fine. You can’t change your preferences. Maybe you only want to date a man who has a large biological penis, so the first thing you ask them on Tinder is ‘how big is your dick?’ - I get that. Some people only want to date people who will beat them with a baseball bat and keep them on a leash - that’s fine! As long as it’s safe and consensual. None of those preferences are inherently bigoted.

It all kinda goes to hell when you start making generalizing statements based on ignorance, misinformation, and stereotypes. When you say ‘I would never date a trans person’ and then run to us to ask if that’s okay so that we can validate your preference and make you feel better. When you make a video after a video telling us again and again how unlovable and undesirable we are and expect us to not react to that. That’s when it gets transphobic.

And look, it’s fine. We all have transphobic ideas to unlearn, even trans people. If you really, really don’t want to ever date a trans person, for whatever reason, I’m not saying you have to change it. Is that transphobic? Yes, but that’s fine, because those are just your thoughts that you can’t control or fix. What you can fix is what you say and how you act. Just don’t go around telling everyone about your preferences and how you have a right to have them. Of course you do! You also have a right to, I don’t know, eat pine cones. Doesn’t mean you should eat pine cones just because you have a right to.

(Also, who cares? If you enjoy eating pine cones, do it, but don’t make videos yelling about how you are so oppressed because of your preference for eating pine cones...)

If you are dating someone and then you find out they are trans, or intersex, or infertile, or whatever, you have every right to break up with them for any reason - but you can be nice and civil about it. Instead of saying ‘I’m breaking up with you because you are trans’, try ‘I’m breaking up with you because sex is important to me and I need a partner who I can do certain things with’. Yeah, exactly - it’s that easy!

And finally, if you just, you know, really want those juicy views, try making videos titled ‘why I would never date a guy with a tiny penis’ or ‘why I would never date a girl who has facial hair’ or something like that. I’m sure you will get much more views and comments and will make much more than 2% of the population feel bad, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what you really want?

End of conversation.