#if he sounds amazing here imagine irl. it really is a completely different experience

[faerielleart]

who is here for a really bad and random high school au that is completely self indulgent yo

in which levi loses a bet with erwin and mike and is forced to audition for their school’s production of les misérables, he tries to mess up the audition but somehow he still sucks less than everyone so he ends up getting the part of marius??? and he can’t quit because it will influence negatively on his grades??? idk imagine levi reading the script without knowing shit about the play and reading all the cheesy lines for the first time and him hating every single thing about this situation until the first day of rehearsal where he meets the person who will play cosette, his weird schoolmate hanji who shares some classes with him who is always spending time in the school laboratory to do experiments and shit and oh. Oh.

at first dude wants to Scream because he just can’t bear the thought of acting like a booby who is madly in love (quoting old les mis memes from years ago here) with this wEiRdO who somehow has a pretty fucking amazing voice and wow maybe this weirdo,,,,, isn’t a bad weirdo. how bizzarre

Maybe just maybe as the days go by they start spending time together because hey! Looks like they are polar opposites but at the same time they have SO! MANY! things in common!!! and they eventually use rehearsing as an excuse to spend even more time together! and they bond over the fact that they’re supposed to play characters who are SO distant and different from how they are irl and levi finds out that hanji tried to audition as a joke but got the part bc she can actually S I N G like an angel and has a really solid head voice and range despite being a mezzo and cosette needing a soprano bc her parents forced her to take lessons, while levi despite having a decent singing voice actually had to have the songs lowered a lil bc bby is a baritone in a tenor role and has never had lessons and can’t support all the notes but fear not! Hanji offers to teach him some tips and tricks and whoops now they’re spending even more time together

And maybe just maybe it becomes easier for levi to sing “in my life she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun, and my life seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun”, maybe it comes natural for levi to stutter his line in “a heart full of love, a heart full of song, i’m doing everything all wrong” because?? he is looking right at hanji’s really pretty brown eyes and he can’t concentrate?? and he hates feeling like this lmaooo like sweaty palms butterflies fast heartbeat,,,,, boi is in love and he doesn’t realize it he just thinks he’s constipated

anyway let’s spice shit up and add erwin to the mix! erwin knows hanji, they’re childhood friends and they actually met through their singing lessons, the dude who was going to play enjolras gets idk chicken pox and the director is frantically looking for a substitute, levi wants to get back at erwin for making him audition in the first place (it’s all in good faith tho it’s a joke and they’re best friends dw he just wants to have a lil revenge) and suggests erwin, not knowing that he and hanji know each other and that he actually has been trained in singing so yeah erwin gets called for a last-minute audition and dude SMASHES it the director’s crying tears of joy they found their authentic tall hot blonde enjolras who looks like he’d be a great commander and people would die for him (;DDDDD) and during rehearsal levi finds erwin and hanji chatting like old friends!! and dude’s like wtf do u know each other??? and hanji says hell yes we studied together since we were children :D and just because i am huge huge erumike trash lemme say that mike got a lil part bc they needed ensemble members and he got to play grantaire so yeah enjoy both e/R and erumike there we go erwin gets to act with his boyfriend!! and they both watch levi and hanji during rehearsal and see how they obviously pine for each other but are far too oblivious for their own good so they decide here and there that they must get those two together bc it’s exHAUSTING to watch them stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and hold hands and kiss and then brush it off saying “it’s just acting we literally have to play a couple”

anyway the day of the show is here ladies and gentlemen levi is nervous af but doesn’t show it, he has to act like a lovesick fool in front of the whole school, the students, the teachers, the parents, EVERYONE and oh my god i hate it here might become his gratuation quote but all he needs is hanji backstage who squeezes his hand and whispers “can’t wait for you to sweep me off my feet shorty” which is extremely cringy but hanji did it on purpose just to see levi get embarassed and he does lmao so yeah the show goes amazingly! levi went flat a few times on the higher parts but it’s totally normal bby’s not trained and he did great everyone praise the birthday boy he deserves it

it’s after the show that things get a lil sad for our boi bc now he doesn’t have to rehearse anymore and is afraid that hanji won’t spend time with him anymore bc the show’s over :(( but fear NOT hanji plans on glueing herself to his side for the rest of the schoolyear and until they graduate and even after that and years later they’ve graduated college they’ve been living together for a while and they go to see the actual show on bway done by professionals and hanji acts weird all evening and OH as they’re going home she stops in the middle of the streets and whips out two lil matching rings,,,,,,, and says the cringiest cheesiest fucking thing in the world that has levi groaning and facepalming,,,,,, hanji says “will u be the marius to my cosette” and yeah levi just sighs and puts the ring on his finger and they smooch under the moonlight aw isn’t that CUTE and they lived happily ever after victor hugo is smiling down at them from the afterlife and patting himself on the back for helping them get together

NOW THERE’S TOO MUCH FLUFF AND I NEED ANGST TO BALANCE IT OUT so imagine this is also a reincarnation au and whenever levi sings “empty chairs at empty tables” he gets a weird feeling in his stomach and he gets really emotional singing “oh my friends my friends forgive me that i live and you are gone, there’s a grief that can’t be spoken, there’s a pain goes on and on” and “oh my friends my friends don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for, empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more”?? He blames it on the character getting to him too much but then he sees the scene where the students sing drink with me and the lyrics “drink with me to days gone by, can it be you fear to die, will the world remember you when you fall, could it be your death means nothing at all, is your life just one more lie” sound really familiar and resonate with him somehow as if he heard similar words somewhere else already, he sees erwin playing enjolras and being a commander giving orders and singing “let others rise to take our place until the earth is free”, he sees the scene where all the students get shot at the barricade and die one by one and he feels his head pulse and he has the strongest feeling of deja-vu and suddenly everything goes black and he wakes up in the infirmary with a very worried hanji sitting on a chair beside him and he really can’t explain what happened except that he feels like he just woke up from a very long dream and he feels like he fought through a battle and hanji just waves it off as him taking the stanislavski technique a bit too seriously for a high school play but the feeling doesn’t really ever go away and sticks with him even years later whenever he hears les mis being mentioned

[earthingoddity]

so you know how y’all are constantly like: “what’s there to like about season five???”. i decided to make a list *-*

1. the discussion of disability in a teenage show. how many teenage shows can you name featuring disabled characters? and how many of those feature a character becoming disabled in the course of the show and having to adapt to that? i was very surprised when i realized this was the route they were going to take this season and i think it was very well done.

so let’s break that down:

1.1 they actually made sure to talk about other disabilities. i know some people will say they were just doing the bare minimum, but i disagree. that is such a complex theme, they could’ve easily said representing other disabilities respectfully would be a lot of work for only ten episodes, but they did their best with the limited amount of time they had.

1.2 the representation of the deaf community wasn’t limited to their disability. it actually pisses me off hearing people say “wow, for a while there, i even forgot arthur was deaf!” as if he *has* to let you know everytime he’s on screen. disabled people are more than their disabilities, thank you very much.

1.3 overall, it was a positive representation. they could’ve spent so much time going through all the things that would be too hard for arthur, but they actually had an entire episode where arthur was completely deaf - he took his hearing aids off - and it was a very happy and positive episode. he was having fun, clubbing, dancing, laughing with others, and i think we took a lot of that for granted in the midst of everything that was going on, but that was a really positive representation that didn’t limit itself to stereotypes around deaf/disabled people. i actually expected that they’d drag a lot longer the feeling of loneliness and discomfort of the first couple of episodes, but they quickly changed that rhythm, so that instead of focusing on what arthur was “losing”, they focused on everything that arthur was gaining - new friends, a new love interest and a new way to see the world. also, in relation to the whole implants thing, they delivered very in depth opposite perspectives on the matter and never felt like they were shaming one group or the other.

2. SyMbOLisM! skam france is very good at it and they nailed this aspect in season three. but there was a lot of it in season five as well. like the 7am clips in episode 2, that were used to show the lack of progression in arthur’s hearing and his growing frustration and how those clips were incredibly dark, to match his mood. episode 7 also had such an interesting meaning. with arthur taking the chance to explore the world without his hearing aids, he got to explore a whole *new* world, and not a lacking one, which ties very well with what i just said about being a positive rep, but also shows that the entire episode wasn’t about arthur finding a new layer of himself, but rather him just uncovering one that was already there.

3. use of music/sound effects. it can be hard to represent deafness in a media like a tv show, but skam france did it so well. the use of music is always very conscious in this remake; while others really go hard in the soundtrack, skam france hardly ever has background music, unless it means something. another small thing but that i loved was whenever arthur was taking off/putting on his hearing aids, if he was to put the left one first for example, the sound on the left side of your headphone would start first. it was such a small thing but made the experience a lot more immersive imo, as well as the use of muffled sounds, pitching, etc.

4. Arthur. i am always surprised whenever i hear people say that they liked arthur better when they were not in his pov. i completely disagree, but then again, i feel like this fandom has very unhealthy expectations on their mains, as if they haven’t watched already 4 seasons of the main making mistakes over and over again, lol. i loved getting to know more of arthur - he’s loyal AF and protective of the people he loves. he struggles in letting people in, though, and never wants to be a burden or worry others. he’s perceptive and quick to notice when his friends need help. he is also short-tempered and when he gets mad, it is explosive, but he doesn’t hold grudges for long. he was a much more complexed character than i imagined and he totally made this season for me.

5. le gang. this boysquad is the best, sorry. they’ve always been the funniest and warmest, but it was really nice how s5 explored all the sides of that relationship, including the not so pretty ones. they were the relationship i wanted the most angst from, and i am so happy i got it. i loved seeing how chaotic, but supportive they were of arthur though and they brought so many laughs this season.

5.1 the lack of toxic masculinity. i think this ties well with arthur, because it is amazing to me that even though we were following a straight white boy as a main this season, we had no moments of unhealthy masculine competition; le gang could actually talk about other things rather than just porn stars and jerking off (other boysquads Wish!); and arthur would literally flirt with anyone without a care in the world, because he’s certain of his sexuality like that. it was *refreshing* for once not to be confronted with these tropes that have become so common in teenage shows.

7. alexia. i have to talk about alexia separately here, because that’s the most we’ve ever seen from a chris character (not counting eskam cris, ofc), and i loved her so much. she wants to be a videogame designer and she’s creative and adorable. she always knew how to make arthur laugh, but also knew when he needed words of affirmation and she was never shy in telling him how much she loved him. it was also amazing seeing her open up about some of her insecurities, and that her confidence is something she had to work on as well. she was such a great friend & girlfriend and just ugh the best.

7.1 the female characters are badass and unapologetic. i am aware that the love triangle was unnecessary and a mess. but i am not mad about the way both characters were represented, because they were both great characters. i liked alexia more simply because i was already attached to her from previous seasons, but noée was badass as well and teaches arthur so much, and not only about her experience as a deaf person, but about life/love in general.

8. arthur’s relationship with his mom. we LOVE and STAN parents in the skamverse. arthur and his mom had the best relationship ever; i loved how they truly became a team by the end of the season. but since the moment she showed up, it meant so much that arthur could have at least one supportive and loving parent, no matter how much he screwed up or felt lost. his mom was really trying her best and i adored her.

9. *actual* adult advice. i understand why all the adults in the skamverse are a bit cringey and weird, but i feel like this results in these characters relying on each other’s poor advice throughout an entire season before they realize what they actually should do. and the talk with the school’s nurse and his doctor by the end of the season was meaningful AF and i wish something the remakes would explore more often, because it could resolve so many of their issues just talking to someone who knows better, lol.

10. the relationships with the girlsquad. i know this is actually very intentional of skam france - to build a specific kind of dynamic between the main and all the side characters. we saw that in season 3, and i think it’s a lot more evident here, but it still made a lot of sense and warmed my heart so much. arthur and imane were the purest - she was the first one to notice that something was wrong with him and also reached out to give him advice on how medical school could still be a possibility even with his disability when she absolutely didn’t have to, but she’s just a sweetheart like that. arthur and daphné had a lot more tension, which is understandable, because both are protective of their own best friends (bas and alexia) and would defend them to the ends of the earth. i think they honestly have a lot more in common than they think. but my favorite dynamic was arthur and emma. i totally did not expect for emma to have such a part in this season, but every single one of their interactions was Gold. emma could see a lot of herself in arthur and i think that’s why she was so quick to notice that he wasn’t interested in becoming a surgeon at all. that scene when she says it would’ve been nice to have arthur as a brother was the sweetest thing Ever.

11. i’ll finish with the acting. y’all, the guy who plays arthur literally CARRIED this season and i hope his back is doing fine. he was So powerful - he made me cry, and laugh, and feel frustrated. he delivered every single emotion perfectly. i also think that the fact these actors are friends irl (i assume? lol but i think i’ve seen them in each other’s personal IG stories) really helps their chemistry on camera. le gang feels like a group of brothers/best friends and they were always so natural and effortless in their interactions. the new actors also Rocked and delivered so much emotion even if they were using a completely different language and it was awesome.

(also, this just literally applies to *me*, a lucas lallemant HOE, but it was so nice seeing lucas up close from a different perspective. the fact we could still see so many layers of him: his emotional self, his bratty self, his supportive self, even a touch on his abandonment issues and everything made me so happy. i think sometimes i forget the lucas character was real and not something i made up because he feels too good to be true, and it was really interesting seeing him from arthur’s POV).

i’m not here defending the mistakes they made in s5, i don’t think it’s a perfect season either, but tbh i have yet to find what i consider to be a perfect season in the skamverse, so here’s just some things i liked about this season that i feel like y’all should take into consideration as well. thx

[jonathanraychapman]

Remembering Ultima Online

When I was in junior college (I spent two years at the local community college before the state university), I used to hang out over at a friend’s house  This was someone I met in high school.  He and his other friends had started to play Ultima Online on his new Gateway 2000.  I didn’t really have any close friends growing up (especially not ones that could come over) so this was sort of a new era in my life (where being social was a possibility).  Before that, I tended to read and play PC games by myself - cut off from the rest of the world and completely offline.

By that time I was already an established PC gamer (but not with deep knowledge of games) since my mom bought me a IBM compatible one of her coworkers had built - probably when I was 12 (complete with dual 5.25-inch floppy drives).   We weren’t rich by any stretch of the imagination and my first PC was really the second-hand cast-off from her coworker - who had upgraded as an enthusiast.  I became an hobbyist myself and my birthday money and part-time job earnings quickly went into new rigs.  By the time I entered college, I had scrounged and bought a AMD 300 Mhz K6-2 with a 8mb Matrox Millennium graphics card and probably 16mb of memory.  I mostly just played older games (by that point) like Quake and Doom.

Meanwhile - across the road from my parent’s house - they had built a new Walmart supercenter with its own software section (which was kind of amazing since our whole town had less than 1800 people).  Instead of driving over an hour away to get PC games at the mall (at a Babbages) or borrow a physical copy from someone at school, I had access right there to somewhat-modern games and magazines about them (specifically magazines with demos).

The first RPG game I bought over there (my first RPG games were the Gold Box TSR/SSI games) was Ultima IX: Ascension.  It was a really poor purchase and it ran terribly on my rig (which I’ve read was probably for pretty much everyone).  At this point I wasn’t nostalgic for Ultima because I hadn’t really played it so I returned it.  Walmart didn’t even want to take it back because of it having been opened - though eventually we worked that out (it was defective in my eyes).  I hadn’t yet caught the Diablo 2 bug and so when my friends suggested I go back over there and buy the new Ultima Online (the same series as the game I had just returned) I was a bit skeptical - especially because we didn’t even have dial-up internet at the time.

But after sitting over at my friend’s house and seeing how this game (Ultima Online Second Age) played out for him, I was hooked.  It also helped that that midi sound from this game was just amazing in this game (just the character creation screen was awesome).  And the lack of Internet at my house wasn’t really a problem either as it turned out.  Though it might have been a bit unethical, a phone number and password was passed around between friends and that became my internet access as well.  The fact it was 56K modem (and probably less than that given the copper wiring in the house and poles) wasn’t really an issue since this game was simple as far as controls and graphics.  But the internet was bad to just cut out at times - leading to many in-game deaths (and heart-stopping moments).

Certainly for such a primitive-looking game, the imagination greatly assisted in making Ultima Online an immersive experience.  When it was 2am in the morning, having your newbie account being attacked by a bear or an Orc Mage would put you on edge (heart racing as you tried everything to win or run away). 

This game also introduced me to this pattern (especially with MMOs.. Everquest, Star Wars, etc) that carried on through my college years of friends getting me into a game, but at a point where they were much too high level or too aloof to play with me.  So I really ended up playing Ultima Online alone instead of it being the group experience I had hoped for.  I was still having a good time playing it, but it was just so hard to coordinate with local players at that time in my life that I decided to just not try to.  After all, I was using the only form of outside communication in the house as my conduit into the Internet.  There were no cell phones at that time for us.  If you needed to call someone, you had to sign off of the modem and get back a dial-tone to call them on the landline.  And, if you wanted to reach them at home, they also had to not be using their phone line for Internet or you’d just get a busy signal.  We had ICQ at that time, but it only helped so much (both parties had to be online for example).

I spent most of my time in this game leveling up and wandering the coastline above town.  I went around, finding reagents and using them to practice spellcraft.  This was all made harder by being killed by NPCs (Orc Mages were notorious), bears, and then there were the worst -  PK’ers (Player-Killers).  

A little aside about PK’ing.  If everything was well and good and fair, this wouldn’t be so bad, but in Ultima Online, these villains were quite the scourge on the aspiring newcomer.  First of all, you had to run all the way back to town to be resurrected if there was no good player around to resurrect you.  When you died, your items would all remain on your body (at this point you were a ghost).  The PK’er could loot your body for any items they wanted - leaving your body to rot.  This meant that by the time you got back to your body, your items were probably gone (evaporated into the digital ether).  But not only that; the PK’er might just be hidden nearby and they might murder you a second-time - using your body as the bait to bring you back.  PK’ers were the ultimate trolls in this game - getting their fun by causing you misery.  Sometimes players (especially new players) would just give up on the game altogether because of this.  Now if you were close to a town, you could call out GUARD and if there was a guard in proximity they would show up and pretty much immediately execute the PK’er.  I can assure you that this never happened.  These killers were experienced in the game and would never position themselves close enough for that to occur.

Eventually - while out in the middle of nowhere - I found a kind, trusting stranger that let me have a key to her house (and access to her food) so I could work on crafting and not lose everything - just the items on my person - when I died.  I only played this character so eventually I became pretty powerful as a wizard (I believe my spells and swordsmanship were both above 90/100).  Typically my style was to cast spells and run back (which eventually was termed ‘kiting’) while wearing little or no armor (just a helmet and a robe) to recover mana.  After casting spells, I’d equip a halberd to deliver the final blow.  Over time I had to travel to dungeons and fight higher-level monsters to even gain anything stat-wise.

I had joined my friend’s guild - even though I didn’t hang out with them most of the time - given how difficult it was to arrange.  Joining up was more out of friendship than any advantage.  And - by that point - I was every bit their equals as far as combat (though we had went different tracts).  By that point, I had even defended myself against some PK’ers by that time (using their own techniques against them - given that my play style was the same as theirs - nuking with spells, running, repeating, and then delivering the kill blows with a halberd).  I was happy that the guild i joined had bought a house at that time and my friend was a pretty good blacksmith (actually smithing was how he raised funds) so that was also a perk.  But neither perk was really great for me.  I spent most of the time away in dungeons or storing my loot at that lady’s house that I had met earlier.

So - to continue my story - one rainy afternoon (IRL) I get a phone call.  It’s my friend and he and his guild needed my help online in the game (which it was my duty to provide given our affiliation).  The plot?.. Well enough is enough and they’re going to raid a guild of player-killers up the path a ways from Britain.  I certainly needed no more motivation.  Given my previous difficulties, I was absolutely livid about these jerks in my game.  He wants everyone to meet up at the guild-house (right outside the edge of the city limits) and then we’d ride up there together to attack.  I didn’t have a horse (given that I just usually teleport or walk everywhere), but he says he’s got one for me to borrow.  So at that point I’m in.

The four of us talk strategy in chat.  My friend - the leader - is playing a traditional fighter/tank character (with a high/maxed healing skill - using bandages to recover HP on himself and others).  He’s done some reconnaissance beforehand.  The evil guild up north has been positioned by the roadside and has been hiding and then waylaying travelers - looting all their items (but really just murdering newbies for lulz).  The gang is filled with real, logged-in players who use alt accounts to keep themselves supplied - as the game won’t let you come to town as a murderer.  They’re well outside of town limits, so calling guards is no use up there.  And the gang uses a local house to run back and hide in if there’s trouble.  The game won’t let people rush in their house if they’ve locked the door.  On top of that, they can banish you from their house by typing and then selecting your sprite.  You’re immediately transported outside and can not enter again or approach the step (kind of like legends about vampires - only you’re the vampire here with the invisible barrier preventing entry).  

Given these villains are traditional PK’ers (already leveled-up characters with a certain skillset used for murder), they are attired and skilled much like myself - with little armor and with a heavy polearm (relying on magic to quickly take down enemies before being hurt).  Their hit-and-run tactics works well-enough normally - against single travelers - but against four adventurers on horses they need their spells to do massive damage to have a chance.  All together we launch an assault out of nowhere, riding up there on horseback.  Though they're hidden (waiting for new targets, hidden among the skeletons of the newly-killed on the roadside), this assault catches them off-guard and, in the end, there are only two of them logged on at the time.  They initially break their cover with the hopes of winning before realizing they’re outnumbered.  They attempt to run and hide, but I reveal them with the namesake spell - letting the others continue the assault.  

Again they fall back and blast some spells in retaliation, but it’s no use.  We overpower them - using healing to tank the damage while disrupting their spell-casting by attacking and the PK’ers are soon out of mana.  On top of that, from the back-line I hit them with a energy bolt as they run.  This is where things get interesting.  In a fit of panic, one runs into their nearby house as he’s pursued.  My friend rushes right in after him.  This takes away his option of locking the door.  As he’s probably typing in the command to banish a player (which is fairly quick to accomplish), my friend strikes him dead inside the doorway.  

So - after we finish the pursuit - there we are - inside the bandit house with an unlocked door - with no-one alive now to banish us outside.  And it gets better.  Normally in the game you can lock down items so that no-one can remove them from your house.  These players hadn’t done that (because they relied on the locked door).  So it’s a veritable cave of wonders in there with everything for the taking. And apparently this PK’er’s alt account is a grandmaster blacksmith and he stores his extra goods in the house (to share with his accounts and guildmates).  When you’re a grandmaster blacksmith in this game, your name is visible in text on the armor and swords you make.  So pretty soon we’re all stocked up with the guy’s armor and weapons (I believe I took some armor made from a green-colored ore).  I’d taken all the stored food and spell reagents I could find.  There wasn’t any gold in there (because they kept that in the bank), but anything that wasn’t nailed down (sitting in chests) we took.  

There’s no downside here (not even a moral one).  After all, looting the body of a murderer is allowed without karma loss.  There’s also no karma loss for picking up items out of chests.  The PK’er is probably a ghost there, screaming at us to no avail.  He can’t get resurrected with that login in town because he’s a murderer.  He could log in with his alt account, but that takes time.  It’s over and we’ve won.  Later, we spotted the alt account near the bank in town (because it was the name on the armor).  Whenever we’d see that guy, we’d always go over and thank him for the awesome armor we had on (the joke being that he hadn’t exactly given it to us).  He’d just leave town or type something that the game would mask as gibberish (i.e. curse-words).

So this was one of my more-fun adventures (and really my only adventure with my local friends and their guild) and really the beginning of the end for me playing it.  Shortly after this we all went our separate ways.  I continued my schooling elsewhere, found Diablo 2 (and the expansions), and lost many many hours playing that game online.  Maybe I’ll write about our Neverwinter Nights adventures some other time.

[writing-yj]

can i ask you to answer all 0-61, i just really love your writing and wanna know everything about you sorry

This WILL be deleted later, honestly, but here goes... Some personal info. ones are not on here, for obvious reasons.0: Height?5'3 (In my mind, I'm 5'4, leave me alone2: Shoe size?My feet can fit in many different sized shoes, so I have no idea3: Do you smoke?Fuck no4: Do you drink?Not alcohol5: Do you take drugs?Prescribed medication, if that's what you're asking7: Have tattoos?Not yet9: Got any piercings?Just ears10: Want any piercings?Not sure if I want any others yet11: Best friend?I don't use this label so I don't offend anyone or they get weirded out12: Relationship statusI've been single for three years, my boyfriend is fictional 13: Biggest turn onsI trust very few people with this information14: Biggest turn offsBody odor, risk getting caught in public, you know what I have too many to list and I don't feel like going through all of them, soooo15: Favorite movieThis makes me think too hard16: I’ll love you if...I don't even know what real love is supposed to be like in a romantic sense. So I have no idea what will make me truly love someone.17: Someone you missMy friends from camp, my guinea pig that passed away earlier this year, my aunt who passed away from breast cancer, and a friend I grew up with that passed away from Batten Disease.18: Most traumatic experienceI mean, I was bullied a LOT in my younger years and my mom used to yell at me a lot more than she does now. And there was a fight at my school and this girl got hurt REALLY bad and she was screaming out of pain. I couldn't get the sound of it out of my head for days and I had nightmares.20: What I hate most about myselfBITCH, I HAVE A LONG LIST TO CHOOSE FROM AND I AM NOT CHOOSING NOW22: What I want to be when I get olderI wanna be a vet tech!23: My relationship with my sibling(s)Sometimes it's iffy (I want to deck my brother at least half the time I'm around him), I know for a fact that my twin is somewhat two-faced; a seemingly kind and straight A student who hardly ever does something wrong, but she can be completely different and downright mean behind my back/closed doors. I like me older sister, there's nothing wrong about my relationship with her.24: My relationship with my parent(s)I get along with my dad a hell of a lot more than my mom. He is waaayyy less strict than she is on almost everything. Yeah, I love my mom, but things can be tense between us. I try my best not to get an attitude, but it's hard to when she's the one swearing at us to do things or to scold us, and it's hard when she's so unnecessarily strict!25: My idea of a perfect dateMaybe a dinner date where it's not super busy, maybe just eating/hanging out at each others' houses. Definitely NOT somewhere crowded, like the fair or circus. And I wouldn't like to go to the movies either; I want to be able to talk to him.26: My biggest pet peevesNew paragraphs not being started whenever a new person talks or when there's a subject change, waking up early (if you're not a parent or an adult, wake me up early and you DIE), being forced to eat a meal when I'm not hungry, loud noises, and many more.27: A description of the girl/boy I likeI actually don't have a crush irl right now. Not really a dedicated celebrity crush, either. Does Nightwing count? 😂💖28: A description of the person I dislike the mostI dislike so many people, I can't decide29: A reason I’ve lied to a friendI don't want to bother them with my emotions, I don't want to bother them in general, or I just have a secret I want to keep to myself.30: What I hate the most about work/schoolGetting up early, learning things I know I won't need, and homework.31: What my last text message says"Okay😊"32: What words upset me the most"Shut up", "You're fat", and "Why can't you stop being weird for once?".33: What words make me feel the best about myself"You're a great friend", "I trust you", and "You're an amazing person, Ren"34: What I find attractive in womenI can't say that I'm attracted to women35: What I find attractive in menSharp jawline, eyes, hands, neck/collarbone, handsome face, etc. I am attracted to many handsome men.36: Where I would like to liveSomewhere WARM, DAMMIT37: One of my insecuritiesI am constantly insecure about my weight. In an unhealthy, almost obsessive way.38: My childhood career choiceTeacher or vet.39: My favorite ice cream flavorDon't ask me this, not today!40: Who I wish I could beSome rich woman who has plenty of time to write and money to use for useful purposes41: Where I want to be right nowWith one of my very close friends42: The last thing I ateI can't remember? Bad memory.43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediatelyNIGHTWING44: A random fact about anythingI love writing angst, I wish I had the ability to write smut, and male betta fish will kill the female betta fish if she won't mate with him.45: One of my best featuresUm, I can be funny and I have great eyelashes?46: SexualityStraight/Heterosexual47: Got any hobbies?I do; I like drawing, painting, video games, WRITING (obviously), talking about super heroes, and getting/giving physical affection other than hugs.48: Favourite clothing storesI don't go to specific clothing stores... Mostly just Walmart and online shopping49: Where I would like to studyQuiet library or with a friend50: What's stressing you at the moment?School, I'll be able to drive again in January (I had a seizure in July and you can't drive for six months after a seizure), my room is a mess, I can't get on my laptop until Sunday (I got an attitude with mom 😒), two of my guinea pigs are sick, I really wanna hang out with friends, my fish tank needs clean, I have around thirty requests and imagines I still need to write, and more.51: Favourite music genresI'm all over the place with music52: Worst thing a friend has done to meDated my crush when she knew damn well that I liked him. And one friend shocked me with a dog collar, which is BAD because I have a pacemaker.53: Favourite subjects at schoolHistory and my art classes. And orchestra class, if that counts.54: Perfect guy/girlDick Grayson. Someone like him. Or someone funny, handsome, kind/caring, and will not use me mainly for sexual purposes.55: Something no-one I know IRL knows about meI still stress the hell out about my weight56: Happiest memoryI have many happy memories, which one?59: Best advice someone has given you"The heart must first pump blood to itself" and "Don't throw the first punch, but you sure as hell throw the second"60: Books you recommend"The Vampire Stalker"61: Movies you recommendThe Purge, Disney's Princess and the Frog, Pacific Rim, Son of Batman, Batman VS Robin, and Batman Begins.