#if characters look at each other in a way i'll go ��seems gay to me”

[evankinkley]

it is now scientifically proven that getting an lgbtqia+ canon couple and then having them being ripped away hurts more than not having them at all.

source: me.

[artificial-transmutations]

Out Now: Dam Breakers

Hello everyone! I'm extremely excited (and, quite frankly, more than a bit nervous) to announce that I finished my fantasy romance novel Dam Breakers!

For the very TLDR-version: It is available here! Be sure to read the disclaimer below, though.

First of all, thank you! Everyone who reads my stories or likes them shows me that there is at least some interest in my mediocre writing. And even though the novel is not exactly like my stories here (more to that later), it gives me hope that you and other people might like it.

Now, for the actual novel!

Dam Breakers is the tale of Jared, a rather normal modern day college student, and Aleron, an apprentice mage living in a secluded tower with his teacher. One fateful day, they meet and are drawn into a maelstrom of magic, change and love - and dark secrets threatening to destroy everything they loved.

With over 120000 words, this is not only my longest story yet, but also my most carefully crafted one. I will attach an image of my Obsidian graph for the story at the end of the post.

Disclaimer:

As I have mentioned, it is a bit different from the stories I usually post here. First and foremost, it's a lot tamer. This novel isn't meant as a porn piece, but as an intriguing fantasy and romance tale. While there is love, desire and sex, of course, it's way more sparse and less explicit than, for example Closer Than Flesh.

It also features transformation themes, and the concept of change is one of the main focus points of the book, but, again, don't expect 500 pages full of transforming bodies because of it :)

And, finally, for a multitude of reasons, it does not contain AI generated images. I wouldn't be able to generate any that do the story justice, anyway.

Now that you know what not to expect, here are some things you MAY expect:

Transformation. Both in the sense of bodily changes but intriguing character development as well.

Gay Love. This is a story about two men from different worlds falling in love with each other, and their stony road to being together.

Magic. It's a fantasy story, and a truly enchanting one at that, with a fresh concept of magic and change.

Story. Last, but certainly not least, it's a good and interesting read, at least according to my opinion. Since I might be a bit biased here, let me tell you that my beta readers agree.

If you still want to read it (and I hope you do!), then you can grab your copy here:

If you are not in the US, you can just replace the .com with, for example, .co.uk to go to your local Amazon marketplace

I have not forgotten, of course, that I promised a special condition for you folks at Tumblr. Since Amazon makes it a bit difficult to actually implement that, I plan to offer a time limited discount or giveaway in a few weeks. I'll announce the exact time here on my blog beforehand.

If you really want to support me, it would mean a lot to me if you could leave a review on Amazon. That influences the algorithm a lot and helps the book get visibility, which is incredibly important . So, please, if you like the book, leave a review.

Teaser / Preview (mild spoilers)

And here is a short look into the book, from chapter 4. It contains some mild spoilers, but nothing too important. I also added an AI image, which is not in the book (see above).

[...]

Even though the weather was unstable, Jared enjoyed the journey through the vibrant spring land. It was a closeness to nature he had never experienced. Even back home with his parents, in rural Texas, the land had seemed different. Back there, the wilderness had been tamed decades if not centuries ago. There was no wonder, no adventure. Here, there were hills and forests, rivers and bogs, and who knew what else. It was as if Jared was seeing the world for the first time. Not to mention the smell. Jared could not remember a time when he had smelled the spring air like this.

In addition to the landscape, Jared's traveling companion also played a big part. Aleron was an intelligent and witty conversationalist, and Jared learned a lot about his new friend. They spoke of everything under the sun, and Jared told stories of his home, of modern inventions and the differences between this world and his. Even though Aleron was fascinated by his tales, he was also clearly skeptical about some of them, especially when it came to the more complex topics. That was only fair, though, as Jared himself had a hard time believing the fantastic stories of this world, even after having experienced some with his own eyes. Dragons, for example. It didn't matter how often Aleron recited what little information he had about those magnificent beasts, something in Jared resisted fully believing in them. He hoped that he would be able to see one of them for real - although Aleron repeatedly stressed how dangerous they were - in order to be able to fully believe in them.

While Aleron's world was certainly magical, it wasn't all like in the Lord of the Rings. There were, for example, no other humanoid races, as Jared learned. No elves, dwarves or orcs, at least to Aleron's knowledge, which, to be fair, mainly included the Kingdom of Myrthien. Although the Whispering Woods were not technically a part of Myrthien, and were generally considered wilderness, it was clear that they were no part of another nation either. The closest neighboring country to the Whispering Woods would either be the Golden Isles beyond the coast south of Eldoria or the Verdant Lands to the west. According to Aleron, the Verdant Lands couldn't really be considered a nation, too. It was more of a loose confederation of tribal communities, living in the characteristic dense forests of that region.

As Helena had promised, Luminara wasn't difficult to find. The capital of Myrthien was well known and if there was a sign post somewhere, it was sure to point to Luminara.

There was no shortage of smaller and bigger settlements, and about every third or fourth night they were able to sleep in beds. During the other nights, they made camp a bit off the road in order not to attract too much attention. It was one of those nights, about two weeks after they had left Eldoria, that Jared woke up in the middle of the night. Aleron, who was sleeping next to him, was moving in his sleep and occasionally made a sound, which had caused Flicker to gain a bit of distance to the sleeping man.

It was clear to Jared that his friend was dreaming, and he briefly considered waking him up from his nightmare. However, judging by the sounds, Jared began to suspect that Aleron was not having a nightmare but quite the opposite, although the dream seemed to be just as intense.

Quietly, he left the tent, careful not to wake the sleeping mage. Outside, he was greeted by the stars and a clear sky with an almost full moon. The campfire was almost dead, just a few embers and ashes were left. It was a quiet, peaceful night, and Jared decided to go to the nearby lake to drink. Aleron had never once shown a single sign of sexuality before, except for demonstrating a certain uneasiness around nudity and related topics. He never had commented on any woman - or man - in a suggestive way, so Jared had been half- convinced that this whole topic didn't have any relevance to the mage at all.

Of course, for his own reasons, Jared had avoided the subject as well, so, perhaps Aleron thought the same about him. Jared didn't mind that. As magical as this world was, he had yet to encounter a single sign of same-sex attraction. Perhaps this wasn't a thing here, biologically, or perhaps it was socially frowned upon, like in his world's medieval ages - or rural Texas, present day. In any case, there was absolutely no reason to bring that topic up, so he didn't. Not bringing up his sexuality was a sport he was very experienced in for 9 years straight now, after all.

As Jared neared the lake, he was feeling weird and tingly all over. It was not entirely unpleasant, but it stirred a vague memory in Jared. He had felt this feeling once before, but he couldn't quite recall when.

When he bent down to scoop some water into his hand, he stopped before his fingers touched the surface of the lake. The moon was bright, and Jared could see his reflection in the mirror-smooth water quite well. The only problem was that it was not him who was looking back at him.

Of course, there was a strong resemblance, but the details weren't right. His face looked somewhat stronger, his jawline a bit squarer. His hair a bit lighter and styled like the day he first stepped out of the mirror. On his chin, there was a short well-groomed beard even though he had shaved just last morning. It wasn't just his face, though. As he looked down on himself, he looked fitter than he should, as if he was visiting a gym regularly. In fact, the definition of muscle on his torso increased further, just as he was watching. Suddenly, the wonder was replaced by fear. He had felt that way before, and now he remembered when. It had been during his first visit to Aleron's world, when his body was 'destabilizing' as Aleron had put it. Given, the feeling had been stronger then, but it was definitely the same. And now, his body was changing again, and he was weeks of travel from the magic mirror.

Half-panicking, he sprinted back to the tent, not caring about being quiet anymore. Perhaps Aleron knew what to do! He ducked into the entrance and called out to the mage.

"Aleron, wake up!"

Almost immediately, the apprentice jolted awake. "Jared? What is wrong?"

"I... don't know, it's me. Look at me!"

After a few words of encouragement, Flicker began burning brighter, allowing them to see in the tent as well. Aleron looked at the half-naked Jared critically for a few moments before asking: "Okay... what am I looking for?"

"Can't you see? I'm..." However, as Jared looked down on himself, everything was fine again. He was looking at his plain old self, just as he should look like. The tingling feeling was gone, too.

"Oh." Jared felt incredibly stupid all of a sudden. "I... must have been imagining things."

[...]

If you liked the teaser, be sure to give the whole thing a read :)

Let me close with another whole-hearted Thank You for your continued interest!

Stay awesome!

And here, as promised, a peek at the creative complexity of the story:

[the-power-of-a-pen]

Oh, How I Love Thee

Fandom: Spider-Man 2 (PS5)

Summary: A series of cute moments between Harry Osborn and reader based on Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem How Do I Love Thee?

Word Count: 3061

Pairing: Harry Osborn x reader (romantic)

Trigger Warning(s): Cursing, 3rd to last scene is reader panicking

A/n: I don't remember the last time I wrote a fic, but I loved the new Spiderman 2 on ps5 and I'm obsessed with/gay for Harry Osborn. Also apologies: English isn't my first language. Also please give feedback -- I have quite a few more of these in my drafts that I'll only publish if these are well-received!

How do I love thee?

Planks, nails, screws, and metal bars were strewn haphazardly across the floor of the apartment you shared with Harry. His eyebrows were furrowed the way they always do when he's determined to solve something. You'd long ago surrendered the instructions to him after his persistent insistence that he could figure it out. Instead, you simply leaned against him as you began organized the mess of a dresser you had attempted to assemble.

"Okay, how the fuck am I supposed to know with one of these screws is the 40 millimeter one?" he complained.

You adjusted yourself so that you were lounging more comfortably next to him with your chin on his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around your waist. “If I had to guess,” you started, “I’d probably read what’s on the top of each screw.”

He scoffed playfully. “Thanks, Captain Obvious.”

You gestured for him to give you the instructions, which he reluctantly did. "It says we need to put the x12 screws into the L2 bar first. Then we- oh for fuck's sake, why does this manual have pictures only? We're trying to build a coffee table, not a fucking time machine."

"Let's just try using the power drill on these," Harry suggested. "There's probably tons of extra parts in here that we can use if we mess up."

"Okay, Brunel. I thought you were a biochem major."

"Hey," he laughed. "Let a man dream. Can you hold this piece up?"

You obliged, and Harry picked up the nearest 40 mm-looking screw and drove it into the wooden bar at an angle to connect it to the bottom of the coffee table. You gave each other a look. It didn't seem right, but it did what it was supposed to.

"Trust the process?" you suggested. "I'm not going to try and read that chicken scratch again."

Harry shrugged. "Fair enough. As long as it stands up, right?"

The two of you repeated the process for the other four legs and the rack under the table. Finally, you propped it up to stand. It was a horrible mess, slanted and barely standing up. Truly, it looked more like a modern sculpture than a piece of furniture.

After a moment of silence, Harry said, "I'm gonna order something pre-made and get us takeout."

"Yeah," you sighed. "That's probably for the best."

Let me count the ways.

"I claim Yoshi," Harry declared as he selected the character for the round.

"Basic," you jabbed back. "My main's Toad, anyway. Rainbow Road?"

"Obviously."

The rain pattered against the windows outside. It was a perfect night to stay in.

As soon as the countdown finished, Harry sent a green shell your way and curved around you.

"Cheater," you jabbed as you spammed your controller to get back up.

"Hate the game, not the player," he bantered. "Oh, fuck you, Peach."

"How funny would it be if the bots won over us?"

"Not gonna happen," Harry replied. He threw a banana at your mini-kart and, by pure luck, managed not to crash into you.

On Harry's side of the split screen, it showed that he was on his final lap, with you a decent distance behind him. With the finish line in sight, you pulled the last trick in your sleeve. You grabbed Harry's chin and pulled him in for a passionate kiss, making him entirely lose focus. By the time you two pulled away, you were out of breath, and your side of the TV read 1st Place.

"Now who's cheating?" Although he was trying to scold you, the way he was catching his breath took away from it.

"Oh, please," you remarked. "You didn't mind."

Harry dropped his controller and, cupping your face with one hand and pulling your waist towards him with the other, he mumbled before kissing you, "Damn right I didn't.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

Your phone buzzed, stirring you from your sleep. Rubbing some sleep from your eyes, you fumbled around for it, barely reading 7:23AM off of it. You tossed it over your shoulder and rolled over, hardly getting anywhere before Harry pulled you back into him.

He pressed a soft kiss to your neck and nuzzled into you. "G'morning, babe."

"Morning," you yawned. Your eyes adjusted to the morning light and you tried to massage some warmth back into your hands. A flock of pigeons brushed by your window, tracking in a breeze that brought shivers to your spine. You stirred again, trying to get up this time.

Harry tried and failed to grab for your hand. "Where are you going?"

You smiled to yourself. Harry's morning voice never got old. "I'm just closing the window. It's freezing in here."

He propped himself up on his elbow and commented, "Well, word around town is that I make a pretty good personal heater."

You hummed. "I'll take that into consideration." You sat down on his side of the bed and brushed some wild stray hairs out of his face. "But seriously, just because we have the day off, that doesn't mean we should spend all day in bed. I can make us hot chocolate the way you like it, and we can sit out in the park, maybe try to find something good in Midtown?"

"That sounds great, baby." Harry leaned into your touch. "After a quick nap."

You scoffed as he grabbed your waist to pull you on top of him. "Nothing's quick with you," you remarked.

Your boyfriend just smirked at you. "Part of why you love me." You settled down onto him, resting your head on his chest and intertwining your legs. "Just... five more minutes, babe," he implored you.

"Five more minutes," you agreed, already drifting back off to sleep.

When feeling out of sight for the ends of being and ideal grace.

The movie you had been watching had run its course, and you were beyond tired. You resigned yourself to quickly run through your skincare routine and find Harry so that the two of you could go to sleep.

You finished rinsing the cleanser off of your face and stretched with such force that you got dizzy. Shaking this feeling off, you called for your boyfriend.

"In the kitchen!" he called back. And he was there, but sheltered behind the kitchen island on the floor with his laptop and countless papers strewn around him. The fans in his computer sounded like a helicopter about to take off. "I'm just finishing these last few emails," he yawned. "Then I've got to review the results of bee drones, verify the statistics Dr. Loughran gathered on the organ reproduction project, and then I gotta check if they repaired the particle accelerator yet and-"

You sat yourself down next to him and gently shut his laptop, kissing his temple. "Why don't we deal with this tomorrow?"

Harry sighed and leaned on your shoulder. "I've been putting this off for a while. I'm so close to finishing, just like 30 more minutes."

You ran your fingers through his hair and felt him fighting to stay conscious. "You and I both know that's a lie, babe. The weight of the world doesn't rest on your shoulders. Take a break. The work will be there tomorrow."

"But-"

"What did May always say?"

Harry sighed again, but relented and put his head in your lap. "You help someone, you help everyone."

You arranged the papers around you into a pile and grabbed a cushion from one of the kitchen island's stools to put behind your back. "Let the person you help today be you, okay?"

But Harry was already fast asleep.

I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need.

"Do you ever wonder what would happen if you used conditioner before shampoo?"

"Not really," you conceded as you took another bite of your ice cream from your place on top of the dryer.

Harry sat on the floor organizing the dark, white, and delicate clothes into piles. "I mean, it's probably better for your hair, no? Like, the whole purpose of conditioner is to break down unwanted particles and moisturize your hair. If anything, it's probably better to do it that way."

"Maybe," you agreed as you hopped down and put the first load in the wash. "But wouldn't that be the same as using fabric softener before detergent?"

"Nope. Fabric softener just coats your clothes in microplastics. It's a long-term way of damaging the bonds between the atoms for temporary comfort. Technically, we should be using something like vinegar instead."

"I'm not putting vinegar on my clothes," you objected.

"Maybe you need to be more open-minded," he teased.

"Maybe you need to keep your head in the game," you teased back, throwing his dirty T-shirt at him. You yelped when he threw a sock your way. "Oh, I'll get you back for that."

"I'd like to see you try," Harry challenged.

By sun and candle-light.

Harry raced past you in the hallway, tugging on a shoe while awkwardly hopping. You sipped your tea from the kitchen island as you stared down the morning crossword.

"Running late?" you asked as he grabbed an apple and tossed it into his bag.

"Yeah," he replied, out of breath as he roughly kissed your cheek and gave you a squeeze before rushing towards the door. "Pete's gonna have to deal with the donors on his own if I don't get there on time. Wish me luck."

"Good luck." You filled out the five boxes for 23-across whose clue read 'Oscar-winner Streep.' "I love you."

"I love you, too," he called as he shut the door. Almost immediately, he opened the door again. "Forgot my keys!"

"They're on top of your nightstand," you called as you heard him tearing your room apart. The jingle of the keys confirmed that he got them, and he bounded over to you again.

"I love you," he breathed, kissing your cheek. "You're the best."

"I know," you chuckled. You leaned around the corner to watch him leave for the second time before returning to your morning routine. You had just finished eating your breakfast when Harry came running in again.

"Missed me already?" you joked.

"Forgot my phone," he explained, grabbing it from beside you. He kissed your cheek again. "But that, too."

"Love you!" you called as he fumbled with the doorknob and you walked to the living room. "Kick ass today."

He gave you a charming wink then slipped out the door.

You turned on the TV and let a talk show play in the background as you cursed at your crossword. This time, it took Harry about 6 more minutes to realize he had yet again forgotten something important. He barged in for the third and last time, profusely apologizing.

"You wouldn't happen to know a five-letter port city of Japan, would you?" you asked without looking up.

"Try Osaka?" Harry filtered through the pockets of his coats in the laundry room until he finally found his wallet.

"That fits."

Harry returned from the laundry room and leaned down, pressing three kisses to your lips. "Okay, I'm leaving for real now. I love you."

"I love you, too, babe. Show 'em how it's done."

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

"Oh my God, you should've seen the look on Hasan's face when Vijay showed up. Like, I get it, you dated way back in the day, but showing up in all white? So then MJ went to go pull the wine trick on him while I tried to distract Hasan so that he wouldn't notice anything was going on, but of course the universe wasn't satisfied." You huffed and caught your breath in the middle of pacing back and forth in the living room. "You know what happened after that?"

Harry, from his comfortable corner in the couch covered his mouth to hide his amusement. "Jess said something?" he guessed.

"Jess opened her fucking mouth," you continued. "And she was drunk off her ass because she always is, and she comes up to Hasan on his fucking wedding day and starts shouting about Vijay coming over. So at this point, Song is already asking Hasan 'Have you been cheating on me? Is that what this is?' And obviously Hasan would never do that but now Song's upset so the two of them go to argue in the backroom while Keith escorts Vijay out and MJ and I have to babysit Jess for the rest of the evening." You paused and took a sip of your mocktail. "It was literal hell."

At this point, you realize the smile taking over Harry's face. "What?"

He shook his head as he surveyed you in admiration. "You're hot when you're angry."

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

"Do I look good?" Harry asked nervously as he adjusted his tie.

You brushed his mess of curls away from his forehead. "You look perfect. You are perfect."

"I really need this interview to go well," he said, biting his lips. "Whatever this guy publishes is gonna be severely edited by Jonah, and if even half of what MJ said was warning enough, we're screwed."

"You're going to be fine," you assured him. When that didn't seem to work, you grabbed him by his shoulders and said, "Your mom would be so proud of you. Don't worry about what you can't control."

Harry took in a deep breath, and, hugging you before going into the meeting room, whispered, "Let's heal the world."

I love thee with the passion put to use in my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

"Good morning," chirped the barista as you walked in to the small café. "What can I get started for you?"

"Just a small pumpkin latte, please," you replied. You shivered and wrapped your scarf tighter around you.

"Anything else I can get for you? Maybe my number?"

"No, thanks -- that'll be all," you assured her, glancing behind you to look for Harry.

You jumped when he touched your arm. "I've got this one, baby," he winked and offered his card. The barista's eyes widened in realization, and she silently finished the transaction. One of her coworkers finished off the order and handed it to you on the other end of the kiosk.

You unlocked your car with your keys and laughed when Harry rushed to open the door for you.

"What's so funny?"

"You're jealous, aren't you," you jested.

Harry mocked offense as he got into the car on the other side. "I haven't the slightest idea what you're referring to, your majesty."

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints.

Harry crossed your arms on your chest and hugged you from behind to give you that comfort of pressure. "Breathe, babe. It's gonna be okay. This feeling will go away."

Your breathing was erratic, your face tingled, and you felt so dizzy you might pass out. "I could've lost you," you managed to get out between gasps. "So much could've gone wrong."

"I know," he said in a low voice. "I know. But everything's alright. Pete and Miles have a handle on things, they always do. That thing's gone. I'm okay. Everything's gonna be okay."

You rested your forehead on your knees, but Harry didn't let go of you. "I tried to get through to you but that thing just kept on speaking to me, and Dr. Connors said you were too far gone and then MJ told me what happened at the Foundation- fuck's sake you were in a coma for three weeks and you just show up-"

Harry crawled in front of you and gently took your face in his hands. "It was scary for me too, love. I thought it was going to hurt you and-" He took in a deep breath. "The worst is behind us, okay? Let's focus on that."

You nodded and tried to slow your breathing. After a moment: "None of that was your fault, you know? It wasn't you doing it."

"I know." He rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes with a shaky breath. "I know."

I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life;

"Okay, what do you think of this option?" You came out from the hallway with a new outfit and gave him a spin.

"Gorgeous," he breathed. "You look like an angel."

You sat down next to him on your bed. "Babe, I love you, but if all you do is flatter me, I'm not going to know what to wear to the gala."

Harry traced his fingers over the folds of your sides as you fiddled with the invitation in your hands. "Not my fault that my partner's hot."

"But it will be your fault if we're late," you retorted. "This one, the dark blue one, or the black one?"

He hummed. "This one," he replied with a wink. "It'll be easier to take off later."

He got up to leave the room, but you grabbed him by the tie, saying an inch away from his lips, "We'll see about that, handsome." And with that, you strutted away.

And, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

You moved the needle onto the vinyl, letting the smooth jazz of Thelonious Monk fill the room. You waltzed over to Harry, and, wrapping one arm around his waist and grabbing his other hand, you swayed to the beat.

"C'mon, loverboy," you taunted him. "Show me some rhythm."

"I'm trying," he laughed, shuffling his feet.

"Baby, a little less Electric Slide, a little more moving those hips."

"Why don't you lead me instead?"

You spun in his arms and put your dominant leg between his legs and hummed as you swayed in a circle. Harry put an arm over your shoulder and started singing along.

"Glee Club paying off," you joked.

He bumped your nose. "Very funny."

You spun Harry as the music signalled that it was near its end.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?" Harry asked as he caught his balance.

You dipped him with the flourish of the music. "More than I can count."

[slyandthefamilybook]

Noah's Spring Jewish Book Review

this isn't gonna become a regular thing, don't worry. I just need to gush some about these books. I'm gonna keep the reviews short too because who's got that kind of time!

So far I've read 4 Jewish novels this spring and I'm working on a fifth. We'll go in chronological order

1. Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott

~ Two estranged siblings, Isaac and Bellatine Yaga—the grandchildren of the famous Baba Yaga—inherit their ancestor's chicken-footed house. They travel the country putting on puppet shows and exploring their own mysterious abilities, all the while trying to escape from a threatening figure known only as the Longshadow Man, as well as their own pasts. History relives itself in a book filled with magic and mystery ~

This book was so damn good. Every other sentence is tattoo-worthy and hits you like a sack of bricks. The characters feel so real and raw while also managing to fill out their respective roles with a sense of poetry. The book has a supporting cast of memorable characters and a sense of real danger throughout. Every so often the house will interject in a way that reminds me so much of my bubbe (עליה השלום). I've read reviews that said it dragged on a bit in the second act but I was enraptured the entire way through. It's also pretty gay, which I always appreciate. 10/10

2. When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

~ An angle and a demon—best friends for 200 years—set out from their tiny Pale shtetl to America in search of a girl who hasn't been heard from. They're accompanied by Rosie, a spunky and fire-spirited girl from their shtetl desperate to get away and have an adventure in the far-off West ~

No book has made me feel quite so seen as this one. As someone who grew up Orthodox there's virtually no representation for people like me. The majority of Orthodox characters in media are trying to get away. None of them love it quite so much as I do, as much as the characters in this book do. From Little Ash tucking his peyot behind his ears like my older brothers used to to the angel waking up to daven shacharit. Sacha Lamb takes the brave stance of "what if Jewish theology is real, actually" and it shines on every page. The writing effortlessly intertwines spirituality and reverence with a classic Yiddish folktale. It's also pretty gay. 10/10

3. From Dust, a Flame by Rebecca Podos

Hannah, the descendant of the famed Rabbi Yehuda Loew, wakes up one morning to find herself transformed, her eyes turning to yellow slits. Her mother seems to blame herself without explaining why, and soon after disappears. After receiving a mysterious letter, Hannah and her adopted brother Gabe travel to upstate New York to meet their mother's family, to learn the secrets of her past, and of their own lineage ~

I'll start off by saying I'm not sure if I was the target audience for this book. It was good, don't get me wrong, but the writing wasn't to my taste. It was a little... blatant, where I prefer prose to be a bit more subtle. Again, nothing wrong with it, just not my particular thing. I definitely relate to Hannah and Gabe a lot, each in their own way. A lot of the book felt very comforting and familiar to me. The book is equal parts supernatural action and intriguing mystery, and keeps you engrossed til the end. It's also Extremely Gay 7/10

4. The Way Out by Gavriel Savit

~ Yehuda Leib and Bluma set out from their tiny Pale shtetl, each on a mission of the utmost importance. Yehuda Leib is looking for his lost father, and Bluma is running from Death. Navigating the Far Country full of demons, goblins, and angels, the pair fight their way through history and mystery alike, and prepare to make war on Death himself ~

This book. Oh boy this book. Where do I start? This book made me cry several times, which hasn't happened in over 15 years. This book said everything about death I've been feeling since my bubbe passed away (עליה השלום). This book genuinely made me re-think how I view G-d? All that and more in less than 400 pages. This book harmonized with my soul. This book changed who I am as a person. This book made me crumble to dust and then built me back up from scratch. 10/10

[chronicsyd]

so I WAS going to post another long winded rant about Disney's Wish (I'll post that later) but Arcane decided to post another 30 second Teaser for us; and announcing the Trailer (yes, FULL Trailer AHHH! *ahem* sorry) is going to be releasing on September 5th! But let's get into what they showed us in this little teaser shall we? (go check out the teaser first it's only like 30 seconds and as usual, leaks will be blocked and deleted)

With this one frame they've already showed us several things. they've confirmed everything that was talked about Vi at the Annecy festival (some people were kinda skeptical if this was something that was legitimate for a while, myself included), and they've confirmed for me that Vi and Caitlyn are going their own ways at the beginning of the season (for a little while, at least). Vi tries to figure herself out in Zaun while Caitlyn's still an Enforcer up in Piltover. They also seem to be confirming the idea that there's some kind of time skip happening in s2 (not as large as s1 but there's something). And why I believe this is because Jinx is being painted in the same light as Vander, as someone that's respected in Zaun. People have already started rallying behind her at this point in the story.

Now, the bigger meat of the teaser:

I put Caitlyn and Jinx side by side for a couple reasons. Not only are these two taking on more of a leadership role this season, they're enforcing the idea that these two are the two sides of the same coin they hinted at in season 1 (they just both seem to be heading in the opposite direction the other was in season 1, if that makes sense), but they both have a figure explaining to them what they need to do for the better of Zaun/Piltover: Ambessa and Sevika. However, each of these characters are being told different things. Ambessa is a War general, she believes that in restoring peace Caitlyn needs to declare Martial Law aka military government and it seems that Caitlyn not only does this but she allies herself with Ambessa and Noxus in order to do this. On the other hand, Sevika's explaining to Jinx that she's the one that can rally Zaun together (and it seems that Ekko might actually be joining her on this). Because under both Vander and Silco there were still people opposed to how the Undercity was run (Under Vander, he was playing it safe with Piltover but Piltover was treating the Undercity badly but under Silco he was a kingpin and several people were still suffering under the effects of Shimmer and the only reason the Enforcers weren't as hostile because of Silco's allyship with Marcus, until Jinx steals the gemstone and Piltover retaliates). But with Zaun actually being at war with Piltover now, Jinx needs to be seen as a symbol for Zaun for people to rally behind, because to them Topside is the bigger enemy.

(I just had to add this pic of Sevika because like God Damn she looks so attractive here like step on me! *ahem* sorry, had a bit of gay panic there...moving on...)

Now, I'm going to hold off on giving my overall thoughts until the full trailer drops in a couple of days. just so that I can gather some more thoughts about where season 2 is going as a whole and when I'm given some more information to glean from, granted I'm SURE that the trailer won't give us any clear cut information because Arcane is great at that.

Oh one last thing:

Jinx's poster in for S2 has her being strangled by Vi's gauntlet, and Jinx is faced upsidown (with the caption "Time to turn things upsidedown") which i presume is just how different everyone/everything is going to be different compared to the last season. but i do wonder What Happens between Vi and Jinx that gets them like this? Because there Has to be a scene between the two that ends badly (probably before we see Vi with her black hair and leather, because in the earlier pic i showed Vi's already seeing Jinx pained alongside Vander)

ok NOW I'm done.

Anyways, I'll post again in the next couple of days when the trailer comes out. Bye!

[kalboykiyay]

Why I'm Likely Skipping Out On The Warriors Musical

It's been awhile since I've done an in-depth post on here, hasn't it? This was inspired after reading that post by @stuckasmain. Well, I've looked at the plot of the musical on Wikipedia and looked I have a few issues with a lot of shit there. So, I'll be listing what I don't like mainly, but I will tell you what I do like as well.

The Girls Are Fighting? Let's address the most obvious thing first. The Warriors are women. Now before you call me misogynist or whatever, hear me out. I personally have made shitposts about an AU where the Warriors were girls and they were a lot of fun. Thing is, they're shitposts for a reason; they played into tropes and gave goofy ideas for the girls. This feels like cheap representation and women deserve better than that. The woke-ification of a franchise that was supposed to be inherently problematic in nature feels forced. I've talked about why a remake of this film would not work, but this wasn't something I could have expected. A lot of the things are pretty (stereotypically, I'll say) gender-specific. There's a lot of things that a remake would likely take out of the charm of the original film (which itself is already romanticising what happens in the book and that's its own problem).

The Bizzies? No. They've been running into guys all night, but now they're all infatuated with them because they... wear cardigans? Okay... Thing is, they could have still been the Lizzies and nothing would've fucking changed even if the Warriors were women. If anything, it seems like their guards would've been lowered if they were the Lizzies instead, right? Let's just make all the Warriors gay.

Ajax... Oh, sweet Problematic Ajax... Apparently she's played by Amber Gray, which is straight fire. Let's get into this. Ajax's entire character was part of the reason I said a remake doesn't work. The existence of this character serves to remind the viewer that not all members of a gang are "good" people. They have their good moments, relative to each other and what not, but it feels like when this character leaves, it's not because they were doing something triumphant and going out in a blaze of glory, it's supposed to be a comeuppance of sorts. Musical Ajax getting arrested for beating up a shitty cop doesn't feel like that. It just... it feels like you're punishing a woman for a man's shitty behaviour as opposed to because she's the problem. Just seems unsatisying to make this particular character some sort of heroic "for the girls" type of character (especially considering that the character from the original book was also supposed to be pretty problematic from what I recall).

This should have been at the top but WHERE THE FUCK ARE SNOW AND VERMIN?! You take out the two baddest bitches in the movie and leave EVERYBODY ELSE?! At least you left Cochise, but damn! What the fuck are you doing?! Now, none of the Warriors are double cheeked up on a Thursday afternoon! Also, I hate to go here, but it's pretty disrespectful to remove one of the few black Warriors from the group but leave Cowboy in, just sayin'...

Now, I DO like that Cleon was kept alive! The movie did set it up in a way that he could have been left alive, since Masai wanted the Warriors alive when they were brought to him.

I also like that there was no ambiguity for the other Warriors surrounding what happened to Fox! This plot only works when very few people have all of the information, but the Warriors knowing about Fox's death changes nothing in a negative way. Of course, there could be an argument made for them not knowning since Fox's death is supposed to be kind of abrupt. (Sure, it was because the actor who played Fox was fired in the movie, but it still works pretty well given the setting, methinks).

I also like that they gave the Hurricanes a larger role here, as they did have a large role in the game as the main antagonist for a mission.

In any case, I hope that those who enjoy continue to post about it as it is still nice to see some new faces in the fandom!

[dayseedrawz2]

My thoughts on episode 3 + theories!!

I'll talk more about this on my YT, but for now here's a tumblr version

(SPOILERS BELOW)

Okay so starting off, my unfiltered thoughts throughout the episode

-They actually spend time together when outside the adventures aww! (Not like they really have a choice, but still neat-)

-Jax being a bitch

-"Zooble turns Straight" Welp, the whooooooole fandom was right!

-Bubbles reversed dialouge. Damn they really don't want those content farms no more.

-CAINE AN POMNI INTERACTION YEAAAA (It was one piece of dialogue I'm so delusional)

-He made this adventure JUST for Zooble cuz they never go and he really wants them to GUYS HES NOT A VILLAN SEE?

-Jax being a bitch

-LUIGIS MANSION REFRENCE FUCKING YESSS

-Wow the visual here are super pretty :o

-...and horrifying

-Jax being a bitch

-I haven't mentioned yet but the lil quirky powers or whatever are cool

-Wow the lore Caine writes for these stories is just like your average artist who torments their OCs (he so me fr)

-2D ANIMATION!!! Also Kinger and Pomni being like the funniest duo ever

-HOLY FRICKLE FRACKLE THEY DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT CONTENT FARMS TO FIND THIS EPISODE

-the monster is awesome looking tho

-THE THERAPY SESSION SEGMENTSS AAA

-Also Caine has a Trans flag hanging somewhere in the circus neat

-He forgot he could use his powers to just teleport Zooble to him lol

-Back to the spooky stuff

-Wow Kinger can actually use a gun! (Never thought I'd be saying that sentence-)

-KINGER AND POMNI GO TO ACTUAL HELL WHILE THE REST JUST HAVE A TEA PARTY WITH MARTHA

-Also JAX IS TIED UP BAHAHAHA

- "You know how men are, always having the silliest priorities..." "Heh, dont i know it!" I think the bunny doll shippers really like that scene

-Zooble has some sorta body dismorphia and has opened up about it to Caine multiple times seems like

-Uhh Caine... you okay buddy? CAINE YOU GOOD BRO? CAI

-CAINE HAS EMOTIONS/SELF AWARNESS CONFIRMED???

-Pomni gets fucking posessed ok

-now we know why it looked like kinger was hitting Pomni with the shotgun

-KINGER AND QUEENIE WERE MARRIED CONFIRMED???

-Father daughter bonding aww...

-I love how the whole fandom took one good look at Ragatha and went:

GAY GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GA-

-also Pomni and Ragatha are on good terms now aww...

-Caine and Zooble Should Pass that pipe from ep 2 and legitemently vent to each other

-Jax is pissed because the Jester actually had a good fucking day for once lmao stay mad

-NOW WE KNOW WHY HE STAYS IN THAT PILLOWFORT IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY NOW

Overall, this was definitely my favorite episode so far! The team is getting better each and every episode! SOOO much happened here!! I'm super excited to see what happens next!!

Okay, THEORY TIME!!

-Okay so to start lightly, so far, all the episodes we've seen contain:

Gangles mask breaking

Jax breaks the 4th wall

A cute/sad heart to heart conversation or interaction

A reference to angels or god or Christianity in some way

Interesting right?? Wonder if this keeps up...

-On the topic of Christianity, I saw a theory saying that if it's true that the gang developed the game (which may be true because of that computer science line), When Pomni says "I knew it would end up like this... He just wants me to suffer..." she may not be referring to Caine, but her Boss at CnA.

If that boss exists and is NOT named able, Imma be mildly upset-

-Okay, Alot of people have been talking about Jax being an NPC, and I wanna bring up my opinion on this:

As I mentioned earlier, he always breaks the 4th wall, witch could be seen as a character in a game being like "What do YOU think?" *Insert Game Options here*

I saw another theory saying that if this is true, Jax might be self aware or sentient to some degree, and This is why he tortures everyone. He knows that this world Revolves around the players and nit him so he wants to make them more miserable.

-OKAY, NOW WHAT (I) WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE WHOLE DEAL WITH CAINE GLITCHING OUT AN' STUFF!

As one of many Caine angst connisuars on this platform, I really enjoyed this scene...

Caine knows that he only exists to make adventures and if he can't do it well enough than he serves ZERO purpouse and his existence is useless... (he's just like me fr)

This has SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR A SERIES FINALE.

Since in each episode we've (mostly) seen a character being comforted (mostly Either Pomni being comforted OR someone being comforted BY Pomni)

What if the last episode had Caine and Pomni having a heart to heart?

(Shutup this is not about showtime I swear let me have this-)

Someone abstracts, (Ragatha or Kinger probably,) and it's Caine's last straw. He finally breaks and the circus goes into ruins. Pomni does her best to comfort him. This could go one of two ways:

Either she sucseeds and happy ending for everyone :D

OR, they fail and The Circus is destroyed, Taking Caine down with it.

Maybe then that would be how they escape cuz if Caine is emotionaly attached to the circus, it would be completely destroyed or erased if Caine finally broke...

The angst potential is crazy...

This is terrifyingly close to what I wanted to do with R-M AU UHHH I MEAN-

Anywayyyy I believe that's all! If yall have anymore theories lemme know!!

[fr3sh-tragedies]

Busy Confession

[Mean Girls 2004] Janis Ian x Female Reader

Word Count: 5.81k

Proofread: No

Content Warnings: Language, anxiety, and feelings of rejection

[A/N]: Story three for Janis--I'll be working on another character soon. I still have a couple of characters I want to write for, but then I'll upload the master list I'm currently making and start answering requests.

[A/N] #2: Sorry this one took longer than the others. I've been trying to post every Saturday, but I could not for the life of me figure out how to write this one. I haven't proofread this yet, so let me know if there are any mistakes.

Enjoy!

 “Oh come on, turn red already!” Janis hollered, her voice raising towards the end as her nails dug into the material of her steering wheel. Her hands had begun to cramp in the past few minutes, and she knew it was from her white knuckled grip that she had on the wheel during the entirety of her drive, but each time she tried to loosen said grip to help her tense, aching muscles relax, they’d return to their firm grasp at the mere thought of the text she had received.

Logistically speaking, Janis knew [Y/N] wasn’t trying to come across as flirty or teasing. In the emotional part of her mind, however, she wondered if it was actually the opposite–if the girl she had been crushing on for years was finally picking up on it and was now taunting her with semi-flirty responses. Usually, when her emotions would spiral out of control the way they were in the moment, she’d head to [Y/N]’s house to rant about it and ask for any kind of advice. Since that was who was causing what she was feeling, however, she knew she had to resort to her other best friend: Damian. Too jittery from her gay panic, Janis only managed to call him long enough to let him know she was headed over.

He had tried to say something to her before she hung up, but she was in too much of a rush to get in the car that she didn’t comprehend a word he said. She hopped into her car after barely remembering to snag her keys from the hook by the door, scolded herself when she struggled to get the key into the ignition, then sped off out of her driveway toward the direction of Damian’s house.

On the way there, she continued to glance anxiously over at her phone, which she had tossed over into the passenger seat. She feared that [Y/N] would notice her going silent and say something, but she herself couldn’t think of anything to say. With anyone else, she could blurt out a clever retort or crack some kind of joke. With this girl, however, she always seemed to find herself falling silent. The last thing she wanted to do was say something weird or make the situation worse and lose [Y/N]. She was aware that wasn’t how it would happen. After all, she had known [Y/N] far longer than she had known Damian, and even knew her before Regina George changed the course of her life back in middle school.

But that was exactly why she was suddenly so cautious over her words around her. She didn’t want to ruin all of those years together and lose the one person who genuinely seemed to love her for who she is. As far back as she could remember, [Y/N] was the one person she could always rely on without the constant worry of being talked about behind her back. She didn’t want to ruin that by assuming [Y/N] felt the same way about her that she did.

Eventually, after what felt like hours, Janis finally made it to Damian’s house. There, she practically fell out of her car with her phone tugged tightly against her chest. Quick footsteps beneath her was all she could hear as she more or less ran to the front door. Subconsciously, her arm raised far enough for the side of her fist to pound against the thick wood of the door now in front of her. Almost immediately after, it swung open, revealing Damian standing there with a conflicted look. Before he could say anything, however, Janis pushed her way past him and dashed into the kitchen. She froze in the doorway upon seeing Cady standing there as well, visibly confused at her desperation.

“Janis? What’s going on?” Speechless for a moment, Janis could only stare at her. At length, Damian stepped in and cleared his throat, moving to stand beside Cady. “Yeah,” he started, “I was trying to tell you that she’s here, but I guess you weren’t listening. Which, I mean, your face right now kinda confirms that for me.” Finally, the goth managed to blurt out a small, “oh,” before glancing at her feet to avoid eye contact with the redhead still glancing at her in puzzlement. “Am I interrupting something?”

A heavy sigh slipped past Damian’s lips as his hand shifted up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “No, but I think I’m not the only one here that’s “too gay to function.” Not sure if she even heard me at all before she hung up.” Finally, a look of understanding crossed Cady’s features. “Oh,” she mumbled as she once again turned to gaze at Janis. Although she was still averting her eyes from Cady’s focus, Janis managed to sneer up at Damian at his words.

Now worried she was in the way, Cady slipped past the two having a one-sided staredown and made her way over to the front door. “Well, I was just about to head out anyway.” Janis glanced up at this, looking slightly relieved. “But, uh…I’ll give you a call about our plan later on, Damian.” The exhausted teen, at the mention of his name, looked over at Cady as well and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good.”

With that, the redhead vanished through the door and began walking home. Only waiting a moment to make sure she was really gone, Janis quickly whipped her phone back up and powered it on, clicked over to her recent messages, and turned the phone for Damian to see. “Dude, I don’t know what to do. What the fuck do I even say after that? Do you think she knows how I feel about her? What if she does? I don’t want her to hate me for it. How would she react if she really did know? Would she–” Two hands landed heavily on her shoulders, halting her babbling and forcing her to look up and away from the screen.

“Janis, calm the hell down, holy shit.”

He huffed when she managed to settle a bit, then took the phone from her hand to read the screen properly. At the sight of the words [Y/N]’s had chosen, he chuckled and ran a hand down his face. “Good lord, I have no idea how you’re gonna survive if the two of you actually start dating.”

“That’s exactly why I came here, Damian: if I don’t ask her out soon, and if she starts talking like this all the time, I’m going to fucking die of embarrassment. Problem is, I have no idea how to ask her out without ruining everything. I need your help, man. Please.” Damian let out a laugh, crumbling whatever sense of confidence Janis may have had. “Oh my god, you and Cady are the bane of my existence today. How did I manage to not be busy the exact same day you both decided you needed relationship advice?” At his words, the goth tilted her head and hummed in confusion.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you over the phone: the reason Cady was here was because she was trying to figure out how to ask Aaron out on a date without Regina ripping her to shreds.” Janis’s brows shot up in surprise. “Oh, shit. Seriously? Is that what the phone call she mentioned was about?” Damian only nodded in reply, crossing his arms as he suppressed another groan. A moment passed where they only stood there in silence, and Damian was internally grateful his parents were at work as Janis had an existential crisis in the middle of their kitchen.

Finally, a smirk replaced his bothered grimace. “So, she wants to kiss you, huh? Wanna do that with her?” He teased, leaning down to nudge her shoulder and gain her attention again. Janis scoffed and shoved his arm away. Her head turned and lowered in an attempt to hide the growing shade of red on her face, though she wasn’t able to bite back the small grin that painted her lips. “You know damn well I do,” she murmured almost silently.

Damian snickered, cupping his ear and leaning toward her in a mocking manner. “What was that? Speak up–you know I’m selectively deaf.” Janis sighed, forcing herself to speak in a louder tone. “I said you know damn well I want to kiss her.” Upon finishing her statement, she stormed over to the kitchen table and planted herself in one of the chairs, crossing her arms on the tabletop and burying her face in them with a drawn out groan.

As she struggled to gather her thoughts, Damian moved to sit next to her, cackling softly to himself at seeing how uncharacteristically distressed his best friend was over a girl. “But it’s not just kissing you wanna do, is it?” He questioned after a moment. Janis shot up from her slouched position and gestured wildly with her hands. “Of course that’s not it! You know it isn’t! But I just…” She glanced down again, her fingers tangling themselves into her fringe and tugging harshly at the strands as she wordlessly went to war with herself, unsure of what to actually say.

“I just don’t wanna mess everything up,” she all but whispered in a broken confession, returning to her previous position of hiding her face in her arms.

The sound of a chair squeaking followed by something landing softly on the table and being slid her direction made her glance up again. Damian had slid her phone back over to her, though now it was face-down and powered off. “I know. I know you love her–pretty sure everyone does at this point. You’re terrible at hiding it.” Janis jabbed him in the arm again, making him chuckle. Upon seeing how distressed the goth was, he sighed, his voice taking on a much softer tone.

“But I do know that she’s one of those people too, even if that’s not what you wanna hear. Trust me, she feels the same. I’ve got quite the eye for these kinds of things.” Defeated, Janis sighed. She leaned back against the chair, dropping her head back to glare up at the ceiling. “Even if that were true, how the hell would I confess without sounding like some sort of loser? I don’t want her to think I’m a creep or something.”

Her friend hummed in thought at this, his eyes seemingly scanning everything and nothing in front of him at once. “Well, why don’t you make it count then? Make it special–your confession, I mean. Just add a whole bunch of stuff she likes. I mean, she loves going to the movies, eating out at restaurants, playing random sports and board games…there’s all kinds of stuff you could do.”

Janis remained silent for a while, prompting Damian to question if he said something wrong, or if she had even heard anything he said. Finally, right as he parted his lips to ask if she was alright, Janis slowly looked up with a growing smile, almost as if realizing something. “That’s a good idea,” she murmured. “Uh,” Damian started in reply, glancing around nervously as she pocketed her phone and began to stand. “Which one?”

“All of them.”

Over the span of another two and a half weeks, Damian managed to help Janis set up a plan where she could finally confess her feelings to [Y/N] and ask her out. The day had come that they agreed to put it into motion. Janis had never felt so nervous before. Not when she had a class presentation, not during any of the art contests she had participated in, and not even when she came back to school after leaving for the final half of her eighth grade year. She knew how to handle those levels of anxiety, but not this.

Never before had she confessed to someone–let alone someone she could actually picture a future with. In the past, when she found herself developing some sort of crush on another girl in her class, it was short lived. She never had to deal with the feeling long, which is why her feelings for [Y/N] became very evident after reflecting for a while.

In the days leading up to her confession, Janis more often than not found herself sketching [Y/N] on everything. She wasn’t able to focus during classes, so she’d pretend she was taking notes or working on an assignment to hide her inattention from the teacher. Even when [Y/N] wasn’t there for her to see, Janis was still doodling her from memory on anything and everything available to her.

Her sketchbook had been filled to the brim with illustrations of the girl before, but the closer she got to the end of the book, the more the pages seemed to be occupied by her face. No matter what she tried–playing video games, watching movies, going to work after school–she couldn’t get [Y/N] out of her head. More than usual, anyway. Tucked away in the corner of her  room, hidden by a thin white sheet, she kept a canvas propped up on her favorite easel. Underneath the cover lay a portrait of [Y/N] she had spent weeks on, always finding another flaw that had her repainting over the dried, flaking pigment.

In her mind, Janis could picture the girl so easily. She could recall every little marking, whether it be a scar or a freckle of some kind, it was so vivid. On her canvas and on paper, however, she just couldn’t seem to get it right. She wanted the illustrations and paintings she made of her to be perfect because that’s how she saw her.

That’s how she had always seen her.

It felt nice thinking about someone she loved so much, but it also worsened her anxiety for her upcoming plans.

She waited until school had been let out for a holiday toward the end of the second semester to carry them out. It would allow for her to set up an outdoor date that would hopefully take place past the beginning of her and Damian’s ideas, as well as give her time off from both school and work.

After making sure [Y/N] was ready for the day, Janis let her know she was headed in her direction to pick her up. The entire drive there, everything about her was shaky, including her breathing. By the time she arrived, her mind was numb and her limbs were tingling. She barely managed to type out a coherent message to let the girl know she was there. Her breathing only got worse once [Y/N] was in the car with her, sat so close to Janis, yet so far away somehow. When she greeted her, her voice cracked and shook, furthering her embarrassment. [Y/N] giggled at her, so she looked down. “God, fuck my voice,” she mumbled.

Again, [Y/N] chuckled, but planted her hand gently on the goth’s shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “Hey, I don’t know why you’re getting so flustered about it. Do you not remember when we first met back in elementary school? You know. When I was crying?” Janis sat up a little straighter and smirked. “Because another kid ate one of your dino nuggets during snack time? Yeah, I remember that. Squeakiest voice I’ve ever heard, even to this day.” [Y/N] faked a gasp and a look of offense, bringing her free hand to her chest in an exaggerated manner. “How dare you say that when Karen Smith exists in the same town as us?”

Finally, Janis snickered at her, turning back to the wheel and shifting her gear into drive. “Fair point,” she replied. She leaned over a bit. “You’re definitely the runner up, though.” A scoff and a playful shove was what she was greeted with in reply, prompting her to finally let out a proper laugh. Her smile visibly faltered for just a moment at the feeling of [Y/N]’s hand sliding off of her shoulder a moment later and moving back to rest in her lap in the passenger seat.

“So, what all are we doing today?” At this, Janis’s anxiety spiked once again. “Well, I thought we could go see a movie and then go eat somewhere before I show you the surprise I have for you.”

[Y/N] leaned over a bit, drawing out a long “oooh” with a dorky grin. “What’s the surprise?” Janis laughed and gently pushed her back, even though she didn’t want to. “If I told you the surprise, then it wouldn’t be a surprise.” Again, the girl in the passenger seat faked a look of hurt, though it was quickly replaced with a smirk. “Okay, okay, fine. Fair enough.”

As Janis began leading the car in the direction of the nearest movie theater, [Y/N] slipped her phone out from her back pocket and began typing away and swiping through her apps. Unintentionally, Janis continued to glance over at her and her screen periodically, some unknown feeling bubbling up underneath her skin and causing her throat to fall dry. Her hand slipped to the side to turn the AC’s settings up higher, then drove upwards to run down her face as she sighed. Whatever it was that she was feeling was making her burn up.

[Y/N]’s attention was drawn to Janis’s motions, her head perking up and turning in her direction. “You good?” The goth only nodded, desperately trying to scrounge up some sort of excuse as to why she was suddenly far more flustered than she previously was mere moments ago. “Yeah, I just…I’m really hoping you’ll like the surprise when we get to it. I worked really hard on it.” A small pause. “Oh.” Another pause, one that had Janis fighting the urge to scratch or pick at something with her fidgety hands.

“I’m sure it’ll be amazing, Jan. You don’t need to worry about anything.”

With a bit of force, Janis managed to convince her lungs to work properly again. She sucked in a deep breath, trying to hide her struggle in the motion, and let it slip back out in the form of a heavy sigh. “Yeah, okay,” she replied softly. Thankfully, before things could grow even more awkward, Janis pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater. She switched the engine off and tucked her keys away in one of the pockets of her black, baggy cargo pants. “Well, I guess we should get inside if we wanna get through the long ass line for concessions,” she explained as she pushed her door open and slipped out of the car.

Without thinking too much about it, Janis sped over to the passenger side and tugged the door open for [Y/N], who glanced up at her with a confused stare. She quickly chuckled, however, and stepped out, moving over far enough for Janis to close the door again and lock the car. “Such a gentlewoman,” she teased, prompting the goth’s pale face to flush red again. She still laughed, even through her slight embarrassment, and rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re welcome.”

“Thanks,” came her reply, though it was accompanied by a small bump against her shoulder. She had turned to walk towards the entrance, but [Y/N] had almost immediately caught up with her and nudged her arm with her own. Janis grinned at her and double checked that her car was locked before they got too far. As she stuffed her hands into her front pockets, Janis found herself glancing around at the other people littering the street nearby.

She subconsciously let her teeth hook against her bottom lip as she spotted the couples walking in and out of the building, each one leaning against each other and sharing light conversation or cracking jokes. Her fingers bent upwards, allowing her to toy with her rings as she managed to tear her eyes away from a pair sharing a quick kiss and focus on the ground in front of her. For just a moment, her eyes glimpsed over at [Y/N], who was squinting to try and read the movie posters lined up on the wall still halfway across the parking lot.

Janis couldn’t bite back her small smirk at her focused expression, though she let her gaze drop back down to continue watching her feet leading her forward. Too caught up in her thoughts, Janis let out a startled gasp when she felt two arms wrap themselves around her left one. One hooked around her elbow, the other sliding down so a hand could rest on her forearm. She turned her head to face who had clutched onto her, her cheeks and ears bursting with color as [Y/N] stepped closer and beamed up at her. “A-Ah, you okay?” Was all she could manage to ask between stuttering breaths.

“Yeah, I just like your jackets. They’re cozy, even if I’m not the one wearing them. Like, this sleeve?” [Y/N] gently patted the section of Janis’s sleeve covering her bicep to clarify, making the other girl jump, “it’s soft. Not sure how. Looks really rough, but it’s not.” She giggled to herself for a second. “Kinda like you.”

A darker shade of crimson dusted Janis’s already reddened face. “What?” [Y/N] smirked at her reaction. “Well, I mean, a lot of people are scared of you–specifically the freshmen–but I’m pretty sure it’s just because of your style. You’re really good with comebacks too, and even when they’re mean, they’re still funny as fuck. I think people are just afraid to confront you because they know you’ll destroy them. But you’re actually the sweetest person I know. And you’re really cool. I don’t think you and I have ever really gotten into an actual argument, but I also think it’s because you make sure to listen to me and hear me out.

“Most of the time. Unless you’re trying to lecture me on my gaming skills.” Janis smiled at her last statement, though her heart hammered against her ribs for the small speech before. She thinks I’m sweet? And cool? Unintentionally, she tuned out the majority of what the conversation was about as they both headed inside, the wide, sheepish grin never leaving her lips.

They got their tickets checked, stepped into line, got their drinks and snacks, then headed to the room playing the movie they were there for. As they sat in their seats toward the back of the room, Janis finally felt her spiked nerves subsiding a bit, realizing they could both focus on the movie and avoid having to make awkward conversation.

She didn’t pay attention to most of the film. Although her anxiety had calmed, it was certainly still there. Each time she thought of what she had planned next, another wave of trembling shot through her body. Roughly halfway through, [Y/N] shivered, shifted in her seat, and grumbled something under her breath, gaining Janis’s attention. Sensing eyes now on her, [Y/N] made eye contact and sent a nervous smile in her direction. “Sorry, I just keep forgetting how cold this damned theater is.”

Janis hummed, and almost instantly, after putting her box of small chocolates down, she slid her jacket from her arms. She leaned over a bit, motioning for [Y/N] to lean forward. When she did, the goth dropped the jacket gently on her shoulders and pulled it around her a bit before moving to sit properly in her chair again. She fought the urge to glance back over at [Y/N], but from the corner of her eye, she could see the girl tug the jacket snug around her frame. She let out a gentle sigh at the warmth.

Janis cracked a smile without realizing. She picked her overpriced sweets back up and pulled another one from the box, popping it in her mouth before scooching over enough to take a sip from her soda. For the remainder of the movie, the two sat in silence, simply enjoying each other’s presence. When the film ended and the lights came on, they got up and wordlessly left the theater. Once they were in the car, Janis finally fully looked over at [Y/N], sucking in a breath at the sight of the jacket now fully on her.

Sometime during the ending, [Y/N] had ultimately slipped her arms into the sleeves to wear it properly. Janis beamed, feeling a strange sense of pride. “So,” [Y/N] chirped, snapping her out of her trance. “Which restaurant are we going to?”

Oh, right. Her plans.

Janis, to distract herself momentarily, turned her car on and began the journey to the restaurant she had made a reservation at prior to the movie. She checked the time before answering. “Ah, it’s that new Italian place down by the mall.” “Oh, cool! Have you heard if it’s good?” “Yeah, it’s got a lot of good reviews online. It was also honestly the only place I could find that the two of us haven’t both been to.” [Y/N] laughed gently. “Yeah, but who knew we’d end up being drawn to so many different places here?”

The time at the restaurant, much like the theater, was hard to pay attention to for Janis. Throughout the meal, even when she didn’t realize it, she could be caught practically staring at [Y/N] as they both ate their dishes. She managed to focus enough to answer any questions thrown her way and keep the conversation going, but had anyone asked what they talked about, she wouldn’t be able to answer.

By the time they had made it back to the car, [Y/N] was able to tell something was wrong. As soon as the car started and Janis pulled out onto the road to head toward her next plan, [Y/N] tapped her arm to get her attention. A hum slipped from the goth to show she had acknowledged the touch, though she kept her eyes on the road. “Are you alright? You’ve been really…quiet. Like, all day.”

Shit.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m still just really nervous about the whole surprise thing. Which…is where we’re going now.”

After she pulled up to an empty parking lot, Janis took a breath, practically freezing in her seat as [Y/N] slowly got out of the car. A moment or so later, at the sound of a knock on her window, the goth finally pulled her attention away from the steering wheel to find [Y/N] standing there, confused. Finally, she managed to pry herself out of the driver’s seat and close the door. She locked the car with trembling hands before wordlessly walking in a random direction. With a small squeak of surprise, [Y/N] jogged to catch up with her, immediately questioning where she was headed.

“Oh, right,” Janis muttered, glancing up at the now concerned girl for just a second. She turned around to face where she was walking again. “Sorry, I’m just…I’m leading you to where the surprise is, I just forgot to say that somehow.” “Oh.”

Too anxious, Janis couldn’t force herself to blurt anything out, too afraid of making small talk as they headed to where her source of anxiety was originating from. The entirety of the walk, [Y/N] trailed behind her and quickly told herself to just look around at the scenery. They had stopped at some kind of large park, though the part they were headed toward looked more like the entrance of the woods. The sight at the darker shade under the trees caused her nerves to spike, though she calmed down when Janis finally managed to mumble a really soft–almost inaudible–“we’re almost there.”

The closer they got to the wooded part of the field, the more concerned and puzzled [Y/N] grew. Finally, just as she was ready to ask if they were lost, or if Janis planned on killing her–which in her mind made sense, considering the goth had started acting weird in the past hour–Janis sighed and stepped to the side. She lifted and waved her arm, motioning toward a small setup partially in the shade. “We’re here.”

[Y/N] turned her focus to the setup, which made her gasp softly. It was a classic picnic scene: a red and white checkered blanket laid out neatly underneath a large oak tree, a small woven basket weighing one of the corners down, and a cooler for the drinks. However, a decently sized gift was wrapped up and was propped up against the bark. “Surprise,” Janis murmured, snapping [Y/N] out of her surprised trance.

“Oh, Janis,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful.” Janis seemed surprised at her words, a small smile finally painting her lips again. “Really? I figured you’d find it cliche or something.” [Y/N] chuckled and gently nudged the goth’s shoulder. “I mean, you know I love a good cliche. It’s not a bad thing.”

After sharing an awkward grin, the two of them headed over to the blanket and sat down. They picked a few snacks from the basket on the corner, as well as a drink from the cooler, then ate slowly as they did their best to strike up a normal conversation. This worked for a very short amount of time, but [Y/N] eventually gave in and finally asked what it was all for, to which Janis grew nervous all over again.

She tried to find a way to segway smoothly into her confession, but eventually realized there was no point in trying to appear confident. She had blown that long ago. With a heavy sigh of defeat, she stared down at her lap, fiddling with the tab of her soda can to pull her attention away from the set of eyes on her. “Okay, I can’t keep this up anymore,” she began.

“I brought you here because I–” She swallowed hard and shut her eyes. It was just a confession. How hard could it possibly be?

“I brought you here, and did everything else today, to tell you that I really like you. Like, I’m in love with you. A-And I wanted to bring you here to ask you to be my girlfriend.” A moment passed where the two just sat in silence, and although she didn’t want to, Janis finally managed to open her eyes again to glance up at [Y/N]. She worried she had been completely ignored, but she mainly feared she was about to be made fun of by the one girl she actually had serious feelings for.

Instead, she was greeted with the sight of [Y/N] blushing for the first time that evening, a small smile cracked across her lips. “Uh,” the goth stuttered. “It’s fine if you say no. When I told Damian about wanting to ask you out, he said I should make the whole thing special, so…here we are.” More silence, though Janis couldn’t tell that it was only there because [Y/N] couldn’t find the right words to express how she felt. After what felt like a whole hour to her, Janis finally sighed and put her drink down, readying herself to stand up. “This was a mistake, wasn’t it?”

As she began to lift herself off the blanket beneath her, a hand grasped her wrist, halting her movements and prompting her to sit down again. “No, I’m sorry, Jan! It wasn’t a mistake, I just…I never thought you’d actually ask.”

Janis could only gawk at her, mouth agape. “Huh?”

[Y/N] giggled at her reaction. “I would love to be your girlfriend, Janis.”

More laughter stemmed from Janis sitting there, purely dumbfounded as she visibly tried to process the words. Finally, a bright smile graced her lips, one wider than ever before. An excited glimmer shone in her eyes. “Wait, really? You would?” “Yeah, of course!”

Janis finally let out a laugh, then a sigh as she shifted to fall over and let her head land in [Y/N]’s lap. “Oh thank fucking god,” she blurted, causing the girl to chuckle and gaze down at her in slight bewilderment. “I’m so tired. I spent so much time planning this whole thing out. I wanted things to be perfect. I didn’t know you were going to say yes like it was the most obvious thing on earth.” They shared a laugh, the previously thick tension finally lifting.

“Yeah, no, I was always gonna say yes. But don’t worry, I really loved everything we did today. Uh, well, except when you were leading me to the woods and started acting weird. Thought I was about to be wiped from this planet.” Janis snickered again. “Nah, I wouldn’t do that to you.” She grinned softly up at her, shifting to lean against [Y/N]’s stomach. “But I am glad you liked everything today. That’s a relief.”

[Y/N] beamed wider and nodded. She drove her free hand upwards to let her fingers rake through the goth’s dark strands, causing her to let her eyes to flutter shut and lean into the touch. They stayed like that for a while, but [Y/N] eventually had a small reminder pop into her head. “Oh, what’s the box against the tree for by the way?”

Janis’s eyes shot open again, a deep crimson red dusting her cheeks. “Ah, well…” She hesitantly sat up and stood long enough to pick up the present and hand it to [Y/N]. She sat back down next to her and watched as she carefully peeled open the gift. Once it was mostly torn away, [Y/N] gasped gently at the sight of a canvas with a portrait of her, glazed over nicely with Janis’s signature down in the bottom left corner, right next to a small note.

To the one person who has always seen the best in me and has never treated me poorly. I hope this painting does you justice.

Silently waiting for a response, Janis kept glancing over between the portrait and [Y/N], trying to gauge her reaction. When she got nothing, the overly anxious girl cleared her throat. “Do you…like it?” Finally, [Y/N] turned to face her. “Are you kidding? I fucking love it,” was her reply. Janis huffed out a sigh of relief from the reassurance and smirked, leaning against the other girl’s shoulder and closing her eyes again. “Jesus Christ, another huge relief. I love you so much.”

Softly, [Y/N] nuzzled her head against Janis’s, slipping one hand from the partially unwrapped canvas to lift it and cup the girl’s cheek, her fingertips lightly grazing her raven hair.

“I love you too.”

[keen-observations-x]

Keen observation: The Kny "Ship wars" are getting out of hand

(Disclaimer: This post has NOT been made to promote // encourage hate of ANY kind - it is simply me passing my opinion on recent events in this particular fandom)

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Let's begin. This post has been made to deliver my take on the, uh... insanely inappropriate actions of the fanbase for the popular anime and manga series: Demon slayer - Kimetsu No Yaiba - from the futile beginnings of shipping characters.

And do not mistake this for me saying people should not be shipping characters at all - I am a Multishipper myself, and I do think it is nice to see people coming up with beautiful art for them, and I have read some fics that have genuinely been so interesting I almost forget that it is cannon deviant.

What I AM saying is that people are literally allowed to do literally whatever they want. People want to ramble on about how immaculate their very specific Rarepair is? Let them. You see someone making art for a ship you don't like? Sit back and appreciate the art - Let them.

But the problem really begins when people start getting fiercely overprotective of their ships. It does seem a little silly to me, even as I'm typing this like why is this such an insane problem lmao??

And it's not even just limited to the Kny fandom - the HH (Hazbin Hotel) and BNHA//MHA (Boku No Hero Academia // My Hero Academia) fandoms are probably the best example of the shows getting low-key ruined by the fanbase - EVEN IN TADC WHERE THE CREATOR SPECIFICALLY SAID THAT THEY DO NOT CARE WHO PEOPLE SHIP. And I really don't think the media should be dragged down by a few people taking things way too far.

And if you have been following the drama going on in the Demon Slayer fandoms, particularly here on Tumblr and Pinterest - you already know what ships I'll be talking about.

*drumroll*

SaneGiyu // GiyuShino.

Like I previously mentioned, I am a Multishipper, and while I can appreciate GiyuShino - Like it is a cute ship, I see the vision and there is a little bit of evidence that can be interpreted as fuel for the ship, I used to ship it myself, by the time I had finished the Manga I was fully shipping SaneGiyu. Not to the point I say it's cannon per say, but where I can see the chemistry and I will use things from the manga to back up why the ship is plausible.

(This is such a stupid post) But then there are some people who ship SaneGiyu who are being toxic to GiyuShino shippers // Saying things like "Giyú is clearly gay!!" And I mean there is a pretty good case to be made that Tomioka is not interested in women, it's still just a headcannon and you literally cannot force someone else to think that??

Or "Shinobu is clearly a Lesbian!!" I personally like this headcannon, she is just too much of a girl boss to be with a man, but then looking at canon material, there isn't much to go off of that shows her to have an interest in women! - and no hate to ShinoMitsu shippers - it's cute x

"Please - the age gap is insane" And you know what? Fair enough. It is fair enough. She is 18 and he is 21. And that is a three year age gap, and in some cases there would be a rift in maturity, but I think that can fly out the window, as Kocho is clearly more mature than her age.

But then you need to look at context for the time and it isn't too outlandish. But then in the moderns School AU, hell no. That same age gap, in modern times with him being a teacher and her being a student?? THAT'S WEIRD.

But then on the other hand there are some GiyuShino shippers that make the opposite arguments; "Giyú is clearly straight" (Like I said, there is a clear case to be made that Tomioka has little to NO interest in women) or "Sanemi and Giyú hate each other!!" (That was a case of miscommunication between them, and was resolved by the manga's end, they are now - in cannon - seemingly good friends)

BUT.

I have now seen multiple accounts on Pinterest making Pins telling people to K!ll themselves - BECAUSE OF A SHIP??

Like excuse me?! They literally said they think these two fictional characters would be a cute couple - AND YOU TOLD THEM TO K!LL THEMSELF??? It's disgusting to say the least.

People: shipping is supposed to be a silly goofy fun thing we do to show our interests and explore AU's - NOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO HURT PEOPLE OVER SHIPPING. FICTIONAL. CHARACTERS.

But if you guys ever:

See people Proshipping? - report it if you want to.

See art for a ship you don't like? - hide it from your feed.

See people hating on a ship you like? - Remove / Block them.

See people leaving nasty comments on your // other people's posts? - Remove the comments, block them and report the usuer.

Just BLOCK the people causing the issues - do not become one of them.

TLDR: Let people ship what they want to PLEASE guys, lets just have fun with our fandoms x.

[babygaybenson]

Hey look, it’s me, back with another fic brought you by Being Gay.

Being Gay: Women. All women. Fuck.

Title: Familiar Encounter

Pairing: Cabenson (Olivia Benson x Alex Cabot)

Genre: Uh, Smut. Sorry.

Rating: M

Summary: Olivia and Alex have an arrangement.

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters. Obviously.

Opener

There’s nothing quite like the feel of someone’s hand running down your body, their lips pressing to your neck, and that little whisper in your ear that makes your entire body shudder with excitement. There’s nothing like a breathless kiss or being pinned to a wall. That overwhelming feeling that washes over, the hand that grasps your throat. It’s all worth it just for that final climax.

Familiar Encounter

Alex: Well, my day has been awful. Want to grab a drink?

Olivia: I gotta work late. What happened?

Alex: Judge threw out the Hammond case. Fin is pissed with me, I just need to relax.

Olivia: Ah, shit, sorry Al. I won't be outta here until ten. Raincheck?

Alex: Sure, I'll see you tomorrow.

Alex sighed and threw her phone down on the coffee table. The blonde settled back on her fabric couch and looked out of the large window it was facing. Her eyes glanced at the New York City skyline, offices still being worked in, and apartments with the slight sign of life on a Thursday night. Alex sighed once more, her eyes feeling heavy from the day, but she wasn't tired. It was barely eight in the evening. Usually, she worked late, but after losing against an opponent she considered extremely inferior to her skill in the courtroom. Maybe she was having an off day? She woke up that morning feeling uneasy about the case, an unusual sensation for the great Alexandra Cabot of the District Attorney's Office. Alex was quite often feared by some defense attorneys. She has made a name for herself in the New York law scene and even intimidated the other prosecutors. It was a lonely life. Aside from scaring away anyone that came into contact, those who didn't fear her were cops and most of them didn't enjoy drinking with her, especially when she lost their case. The only person who gave her any form of friendship beyond the means of what she could do for them was Olivia Benson.

The two hated each other at first, Olivia didn't agree with Alex joining their team ten years ago, but she soon warmed to the new ADA. Alex enjoyed their Friday night ritual, going for a drink, dinner, and whatever else happened after. No one seemed to make her smile quite like Olivia Benson. She enjoyed those moments when she felt like she wasn't just an ADA. She was a friend. During her time in the programme, Alex felt lost being away from Olivia. She wanted nothing more than to pick up her phone and hear her voice but she was trapped in suburban Oklahoma. Oh, the tragedy. She only returned to her old life for a day before being whisked away once more. Away from everyone she knew, away from Olivia. When she was finally allowed to return to her normal life, this time for good, she didn't know how to approach Olivia… so, she didn't. She hid away behind a new job, a new apartment, and a new fiancé she didn't want. She was eventually placed back on sex crimes, not by her own choice. “If anyone can work with those detectives, it’s you.” Jack McCoy’s demands were evident. After Novak was suspended, SVU went through lawyer after, lawyer after lawyer. None of them seemed to stick around long enough to make a small drop in the large ocean those detectives sailed through. The detectives of the Manhattan SVU were different from other precincts. They had pride, courage, and genuine care for the victims. They had a moral need to do what was right and that often conflicted with ADAs who would rather do the bare minimum.

Alex pushed herself up from the couch, she pulled off her black blazer and tossed it on the coffee table before making her way into the adjoining kitchen. Alex wasn’t much of a chef she admitted in open court to setting fire to her kitchen back in the late 90s. Everyone Alex socialised with knew of her rich upbringing in Upstate New York, she was raised on a palate of lobster, steak, and perfectly cooked duck but she couldn’t stomach anything other than Kraft Mac’n’Cheese with butter, Cup Noodles (the good ones from Japan), and whatever takeout menu she could get her starving hands on. Once the Starbucks down the street opened, it was a game changer. Coffee whenever she wanted, and protein boxes she could take to work. Finally, she could improve her diet and step away from carbs, carbs, and more carbs, but the mere thought of kale made her gag. Alex didn’t have a selective palate… nor was she a picky eater, really, she just liked the foods that brought her comfort even if they came in a blue and yellow box.

Alex opened her fridge and pulled out the salad box from yesterday’s dinner.

“If I’m going to have carbs and cheese, I should probably have something green…” She muttered to herself as she walked over to the kitchen counter and placed down the plastic container.

Alex reached for the cupboard in front of her, pulled it open and retrieved one of the many Kraft boxes that sat on the shelf. As Alex opened the box, something hung in the air. The blonde swallowed hard as her breath became shallow. Her ears twitched as her eyes glanced to the left, but before she could turn she was pinned against the counter. A body pressed up against from behind. One arm around her waist, the other around her mouth. Alex’s eyes widened with fear as she panted against the hand. This was her worst nightmare, someone breaking into her apartment and taking control over her and she could do nothing about it. Alex feared the worst as her eyes scattered from left to right, her mind racing with the identity of her attacker. Could it be one of Velez’s followers seeking revenge after seven years? Could it be a disgruntled perp she put away years prior? Alex wanted to scream but she was frozen to the spot. The hand gripped her abdomen tighter and all she could do was squeeze her eyes shut. She could hear her heart racing in her ears as she felt whoever it was lean into her ear.

“Hands on the counter, Cabot.” The familiar softly spoke with a strong demanding tone behind it. A warm puff of breath against her ear and suddenly - everything changed for her.

Her eyes rolled back in her head as she felt those lips trail down her neck. She did as she was instructed. Any fear she had running through her veins was now replaced with a lustful need as a shockwave ran through her body and straight to her core. She could still feel those lips against her neck, her skin reacted with a gentle tingle forcing a moan to escape her lips muffled by the hand. Alex’s breath hitched as those lips planted a gentle kiss against her warm skin leaving goosebumps in its wake. Those lips travelled upward, grazing her skin softly until they reached her ear.

“Good girl. I’m going to take my hand away from your mouth and I’m going to blindfold you. Keep your hands on the counter.” She whispered into her ear. Alex shuddered and nodded.

The hand was removed. She didn’t say anything about talking.

“Jesus, fuck - Liv?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and still looking forward.

“Yeah.” She could hear the smirk on the detective’s lips.

“You could have said something in the text earlier? A little heads up so I didn’t think I was being home invaded.”

“You said you needed to relax… that’s usually the code for ‘fuck me, Liv, please.’”

Alex blushed a deep shade of crimson.

“Now, shut up and don’t break character again.” Olivia pressed herself back up behind the blonde as she dangled a silk scarf over her eyes.

Alex didn’t fight against Olivia as she wrapped the scarf around her eyes and tied it behind her head. She didn’t protest as the brunette’s hands snaked around her waist to the front of her blouse, untucking it from the pencil skirt. Alex fell back into the brunette’s embrace as she felt her lips against her shoulder, moving her hair out of the way so she could plant small kisses on her neck. Alex sighed softly, rolling her neck to the side to give the brunette more room. One hand played with the buttons that held her blouse closed, and the other ran down the side of the blonde’s body. She was in euphoria. Alex’s eyes fluttered closed behind the blindfold as every sense of her body was heightened. The sensation against her neck, she felt every puff of breath in between kisses, every goosebump in the wake of soft kisses, she could smell Olivia’s perfume, and she could hear her pulse as it quickened faster and faster. This was intoxicating.

They enjoyed playing these games, Olivia was always the more dominant one, though Alex didn’t mind all that much. They weren’t a couple, far from it, but they started these games before she was sent off to Witness Protection. They started with drinks every Friday night, just the two of them after everyone else had left. One night, Alex admitted how touch-starved she was, after not being with anyone since law school. Olivia took the opportunity to put forward a suggestion, which the blonde happily obliged. Later that night, Alex experienced one of the best climaxes of her life, all the while sitting on the detective’s face. She can remember gripping the headboard as her mind exploded and her body shook. It was mind blowing. Since that night - it was a weekly arrangement. Friday night. They were always the last two. Light flirting at the bar, followed by waking up together the next morning. After a short period, Alex realised she was slowly falling for the detective but she never told her how she felt. She knew the detective wasn’t the relationship kind of person and the last thing she wanted was for their encounters to end. She stayed quiet, has stayed quiet, all this time.

When she left for Africa, she was sure their encounters would end upon her return. It didn't take long for them to fall back into old habits. Things were easier now Elliot was gone. He wasn't always looking into Olivia's business, they didn't have to be so secretive anymore. Their weekly arrangements became an every other day appearance. Eventually, Alex gave Olivia a key to her apartment so she could just let herself in and she did, often. Whenever Olivia felt the mood, she would let herself into Alex's apartment whether it was for sex or just company. Alex knew she was playing a dangerous game when she let Olivia spend the night and she had to stop herself from telling her how she felt. Those feelings from all those years ago never went away, they just deepened. She wanted to find someone to break the cycle of sex and pining, but no one came close to Olivia. She dated interesting and kind people, some were fellow lawyers, others were doctors, detectives, and even a restaurant owner, but she couldn't get Olivia out of her mind no matter how much she tried. Olivia was the only person she wanted to spend an extended period of time with, she was the only one who could make her laugh, give her a pep-talk that lasted, and the confidence to put the bad guys away. She was falling seven years ago and she was sure she was done falling now.

Olivia's fingers opened Alex's blouse and displayed her torso to the night air. Olivia's lips pressed against the taller woman's shoulder as her fingers travelled over pale skin. Alex's muscles twitched under every touch as she rested her head on Olivia's shoulder softly whimpering. Olivia's hands finally reached Alex's breasts hidden away behind a red lace bra. She smiled against her skin as she kissed the blonde's cheek and cupped her with a gentle massage of her fingers. Alex arched her back to Olivia's fondling. Turning her head to capture the brunette's lips in a passionate kiss. Their first kiss of the night. Somehow the kiss tasted better when she was blindfolded. She could feel the moan from Olivia's lips. The gentle panting escaped her lips, desperate for the brunette not to pull away from their kiss. Olivia's hands squeezed softly. Her fingers grazed over Alex's risen nipple and an immediate response came from the blonde. She moaned again, the rough fabric of the bra and the sensation of Olivia's fingers. She wanted more. She could feel her core getting wetter and wetter, if she didn't have the panties or her tights on, she was sure her arousal would be making a mess on her thighs.

"Liv… please…" She whimpered begging for the release that was building up more and more.

Olivia smirked against her lips as a response, Alex knew she loved hearing her pleas for release. It made the brunette feel more powerful than she already was. Alex felt her skirt loosen as she heard the familiar sound of the zipper on the side fall. Olivia let go of the skirt and let it fall to the floor. Slowly, the brunette rolled Alex's tights down over her hips. Lowering her body along with them. She left a trail of kisses down Alex's back. The blonde moaned once more, every inch of her skin burned with every kiss. The anticipation grew more and more. A hum escaped as Olivia's lips pressed against Alex's left cheek just above her thigh. Alex stepped out of the skirt and let Olivia place the skirt and tights to the side before the brunette returned to where she wanted to be.

She gasped sharply as Olivia’s lips returned to her neck, her hand running down her torso. Alex turned once more to capture the brunette’s lips, even blindfolded, she could easily navigate. This kiss became deeper, and hunger grew, as Alex’s arousal only started to ache more. She wanted to feel the touch of the detective, she longed for the release that was building in her stomach. Finally, she felt Olivia’s fingers graze along the hem of her French panties. Her hips arched towards her hand as it dipped inside the delicate fabric. She broke the kiss only to moan into the dark apartment. She wanted to turn around and pull the brunette into her, feel their bodies together just like every other time they did this, but she was restrained to the countertop and there was nothing she could do about it.

Olivia ran her finger through Alex’s wet folds, the blonde moaned again resting her head back on Olivia’s shoulder. She could feel that familiar tightening in her core as her stomach twitched. She felt like she was already so close and Olivia hadn’t even started yet. Olivia was painfully slow as drew lazy circles around Alex’s bud. Alex hid her face in Olivia’s neck where her breathing became heavier and heavier. Her mind was a haze, muddy thoughts running, senses heightened. Alex groaned again as she felt the brunette’s finger run down her slit towards her opening. She was ready to beg once more, she couldn’t take much more of this playing until those words were whispered into her ear.

“Turn around, Cabot, but keep a hand on the counter.” She whispered to her, she could hear the smirk in her voice.

Alex followed the directions and turned around slowly, still with Olivia’s hand running through her folds. Alex’s hands gripped the counter to keep her steady as she felt the brunette push against her. She moaned at the skin-to-skin contact, she so badly wanted to run her hand down the detective’s chest and over her toned abdomen. She could still feel the fabric of Olivia’s open blouse brushing against her skin as Olivia leaned in and captured her lips. It was like one swift movement between the kiss and slowly slid in two of her fingers. Alex gasped against the brunette as she felt her walls tighten around her fingers welcoming her in further. She felt her knees become weak and her mouth become dry. Olivia’s lips crashed against those of the blonde in a passionate kiss pushing her further against the kitchen counter as she started with a steady rhythm. Lazily moving her fingers in and out of her lover, Alex desperately wanted to touch her but she could only grip the countertop tighter. Hitting that perfect spot, Alex’s back arches into Olivia, she knew she couldn’t hold out as the pressure began to grow more and more.

“Liv, please…” Her little whimpers echoed into the kitchen as their lips brushed, her breath hitched, and her body trembled.

As she felt herself reaching her point of climax, Olivia’s movements slowed. Instead, her lips traced along Alex’s jawline, as her freehand ran up and pulled the knot of the blindfold, letting it drop to the floor. Alex’s eyes fluttered open, darkened blue orbs stared into the pitch-black eyes of the detective. Olivia’s fingers traced along her jawline. A tender gesture, unusual of her lover to do such a thing. She swallowed hard as she pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth, her cheeks flushed, and her eyes stayed on her lover. Alex pressed her lips against Olivia’s fingers in a gentle kiss as they brushed across the bow of her top lip. Olivia smiled softly. Her eyes looked as if they were sparkling.

“You can touch me…” She whispered.

Alex wasted no time, her hands ran up her arms and then down her torso, over her toned abdomen, and pulled her closer. Olivia once again found that perfect spot, Alex’s eyes rolled back in her head as she dug her nails into Olivia’s torso. She tried to stifle her moan, however, the gentle hum of her voice escaped into the darkened apartment. She was so close and she knew that her time had come when she felt Olivia’s fingers curl inside of her. Alex’s body arched as her climax hit. Wave upon, wave, upon wave, crashed against her with every pulsation from her core. With sharp breaths, her eyes fell closed, and she couldn’t make a sound she held onto Olivia’s waist as her body convulsed. Coming down from her high she rested her head on her lover’s shoulder. Olivia smiled and pressed her lips to her temple as she slowly removed her fingers. Alex whimpered at the loss of contact, thankful the counter was there to support her weak legs.

Alex lifted her head, a lot more relaxed than earlier when she was sitting on her couch flicking through her phone. The long day of disappointment had long since vanished and all that was left was bliss. Alex sighed as she leaned back against the counter and opened her eyes looking into the deep brown orbs of the detective she had fallen for. As their foreheads came to rest, Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia’s shoulders with a warm smile. Everything felt so perfect, warm, and loving. She wanted so much more but she knew Olivia didn’t feel the same way and she wasn’t looking for a relationship. A sense of sadness crept over the lawyer as she tried to push herself away from Olivia and move from the counter, but she was pinned. Sandwiched between Olivia and the countertop.

“Liv… come on…” She mumbled as she tried to push past her again.

Olivia didn’t reply, she merely reached around Alex’s waist and pushed her up onto the countertop so they were at the perfect height to each other. She leaned in and captured her lips in a tender kiss. Alex felt her heart begin to race, this was different from any other kiss they have shared before. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she allowed herself to melt into the kiss and wrap her arms around Olivia’s neck. She leaned back resting her head against the cupboard. Her fingers laced through her long brown hair. The night lights from the streets of New York danced against their skin as they continued to share their loving kiss. Breaking for a moment to catch their breath, their lips merely brushed. Alex felt her heart as it began to swell in her chest. She loved this woman so much and she felt as if she couldn’t tell her. She didn’t want to lose what they had, yet the truth was consuming her. Alex pressed a soft kiss to Olivia’s lips. Her fingers danced along the olive-coloured skin of her cheek. She felt her smile against her lips causing a flutter in her chest.

“Liv…” She whispered.

“Hmm?” The brunette hummed in reply.

“I…” She can’t do it, she can’t change what she has.

At this moment, she has Olivia, she has her in her arms. She’s holding her, gazing into her eyes, but once she says those three words - it’ll end. Olivia will retreat and their meetings will be over. She couldn’t do it, she

“Alex?”

“Sorry, I-”

“Love you.”

Alex’s eyes widened as she leaned back from Olivia. Her eyes scanned the face of the woman in front of her, wondering if her ears truly heard what she said. A smile formed on her lips and the sparkle in her eyes, that’s when she realised what she said was true. Alex pulled Olivia back in for another kiss filled with passion and love, she let her walls crumble around her as she finally found the stability she had always longed for.

[docholligay]

A relevant question was asked by @tallangrycockatiel about my love of Interview With the Vampire: "Um, why are you into something that is all about dudes, all the time? Is this us not being a bitch's bitch?" Only, she is English so she said it in a more polite, suggested sort of way.

A very fair question! It is extremely true that, by and large, a thing with men only is less interesting to me by far and it takes a lot more for me to get into it. But she was not put off by this, for she had developed a theory:

My two initial theories are that either it hit you early enough that that hadn't become such a strong preference, or that it has something to do with the fact that despite being 95% men the entire cast seems to be having what I can only describe as dyke drama the entire time.

She both knows me and is smart, so there we are. The answer is basically: YES.

I started reading the Vampire Chronicles when I was something around 13, and so I didn't really have an idea that it was kind of fucked up that men we treated as the only default interesting people on earth. I pretty much took it as an implicit truth, where I never would have SAID that, but, I was very much in what can only be described as a 'masculinity k-hole' where of course I wanted to be a 'tomboy' and the only way for a girl to be tough and cool was if she was 'just like a boy' and this whole idea that men and masculinity were superior vomit vomit vomit whatever I am perfectly capable of beating someone's ass in red lipstick but that line of thinking did not occur to me at the time.

So I had NO sensitivity to the idea that stories whose ENTIRE UNIVERSES centered around men might be even, annoying. Anne Rice straight up does not care about or like women, and it is absolutely reflected in the way she writes her female characters. I cannot IMAGINE someone reading these as a fully grown adult who thinks women are neat, actually, and not coming away going, "My god, what is happening in these books?" But when you grow up with something, it changes with you, and the ways you think of it aren't COMING from adult you, they are, at least in part, coming from YOUNG you. And, in much the same way A Song of Ice and Fire, which I read at a similar time, gave me what I wanted from fantasy and wasn't getting, this did as well. I did not know that it would have been what is now called urban fantasy, and I didn't know that was a thing I liked (I very much know that now) all I knew was, I liked it. It was batshit and felt dangerous and it was unhinged and very gothic, though, again, not a way I could have expressed it.

So I'm carrying all that --I'll say baggage even though that has a negative connotation--when I come to the work. I already pre-like it.

This can of course backfire, but it didn't, so, I'm not gonna get into that.

NUMBER TWO: The 'all dudes' thing is not insurmountable. It's a quality issue. I love Dan Simmons' work and his women are basically nonexistent. There are plenty of things I like that don't center women. But, the bar to entry is MUCH higher. I would never in my life willingly watch something like "sailor moon but boys though."

What Interview has, that I love, is a very rare thing: Well written, EXPLICITLY gay, and everyone is fucking terrible. It is an adult show for grown-ass adults where people fuck and murder and abuse each other. Armand is the physical manifestation of gaslight gatekeep girlboss. Louis rewrites an entire personal history to make himself look better and emotionally manipulates everyone he comes into contact with. Lestat is a hot tempered, vain dilettante who does shit without thinking and then has the audacity to go, "Oh no, the quencies!" Everyone sucks, everyone is abusive in one way or another, all the fucking exes overlap, and I LOVE IT. Anyone looking for a hero or victim is watching the wrong fucking show and I am SO HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I'll close with my response when we were talking about how fucking great Sarah Waters is, in relation to the above:

it took me forever to realize that I didn't actually want recommendations for lesbian fic, what I was actually asking is: So who is doing it like Sarah Waters? Which unfortunately is no one. The woman is my own personal oasis in the desert.

And God, it has taken me YEARS to convince people that I care so much less about whether or not something is gay than if it is GOOD. Does it say something TRUE, you know? Is it messy? Is it sometimes uncomfortable? I would fucking LOVE if it could be gay on top of these things, but I'll real here:

l'll read a good straight thing versus a bad and especially a fluffy gay thing

I LOVE that shit like REd, White and Royal Blue or coffee shop Aus or whatever exist for people who want them, but I am out for blood ahaha

I have a happy, boring, domestic gay life, i do not need to imagine what a life where your biggest argument is about the quantity and variety of fucking breakfast cereal (We have EIGHT. BOXES.)

[bloody-wonder]

mid-year book tag

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2024? i have read so many good ones this year but no particular one stands out to me as The Best so i'll name top 5 instead (in the order i read them in): a thousand stitches, doctrine of labyrinths, in other lands, big swiss, my brilliant friend - so, quite a range of genres and tones, as usual :)

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2024? the virtu is definitely my favorite part of doctrine of labyrinths and the tropic of serpents, the second book in the memoirs of lady trent, was just a perfect historical fantasy adventure novel - it's like if jane austen wrote indiana jones except it's also a nature documentary about dragons. last but not least, empire of the damned which came out in march solidified jay kristoff's empire of the vampire as my favorite vampire book series. you might have heard me screaming about it from the rooftops. all three of these sequels, i find, are even better than the previous book in their respective series.

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To? i'm saving kj charles' death in the spires for the fall since it's a spooky campus murder mystery (i think?) and i also want to read apostles of mercy and so finish lindsay ellis' sci fi series (which i have lost interest in somewhat tbh but i'm nothing if not a completionist lol). i was curious about the familiar but the reviews i've seen don't look too promising so i'm probably not going to prioritize it.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2024? i'm looking forward to kj charles' new romance book, the duke at hazard, as well as the new evander mills mystery, rough pages, but the piece of fiction i'm anticipating the most is actually the radioapple southern gothic au by my favorite fanfic author reminiscentbells. she's going to write the whole thing this summer and start posting in september - i'm so excitedddd😱

5. Biggest Disappointment? emily wilde's encyclopaedia of faeries is the book equivalent of a ghoul wearing the skin of your beloved. i wasn't a fan of a deadly education either😒 was very excited to read gaywyck but the expectations of "jane eyre but gay" which the cover of that book gave me were unfortunately not met🤷‍♀️

6. Biggest Surprise? i didn't think i might be into extreme horror and neither did i fancy myself a sally rooney girlie so i was quite surprised that i liked her conversations with friends as well as the sluts by dennis cooper. will definitely read more from both authors next year. an even bigger surprise however was solitaire which i picked up on a whim after tori came out as ace in the last heartstopper volume. i have a complicated relationship with alice oseman's books mostly due to the fact that i'm years past the target demographic age but still feel compelled to read them bc it seems they're the only mainstream books with prominent aro/ace rep out there. so i didn't expect much and was astonished to discover that tori spring is like looking at a mirror reflection of my 18yo self - uncanny in a fun way. ig i shouldn't be so surprised this turned out to be my favorite oseman book since it's the one with the most mixed reviews lol people like to hate a depressed teenage girl😬

7. Favorite New Author? i have devoured doctrine of labyrinths and the cemeteries of amalo in february so now i can safely say sarah monette aka katherine addison is one of my favorite authors. each of her series has a different tone but there are consistent themes of real or magical disability and non amatonormative relationships which are explored in creative ways throughout her stories. i also like her worldbuilding quite a bit, especially the naming systems and fantasy terminology. i read more books by celeste ng as well as by vale aida - both are likely to become favorite authors too. in the latter's case - provided she writes a sequel to hostis. if not, i shall never forgive her😅

8. Newest Favorite Character? okay this is just impossible to narrow down! first of all, liathe from empire of the damned bc i want her Gender: wearing a porcelain mask and a splendid crimson coat, formally bowing to her adversaries before she beats the shit out of them with her blood sword, referring to herself by the royal we and hissing every time she speaks - character of all time material right there. behold my beautiful girl who has done nothing wrong!🥰

(official illustrations by bon orthwick)

secondly, elliot schafer bc he's the most obnoxious prickly boy in other lands and yet everyone wants him carnally lol. i adore his internal monologue - probably the best i've read in ya. his dialogue too tbh - his cutting repartee game is off the charts. honestly, he's just my favorite type of character: a mean bisexual gremlin who scolds people so creatively that they fall in love with him on the spot. what more can you ask.

finally, i have to mention that to my great surprise i liked mildmay more than felix harrowgate🤯 idk felix is this cunty traumatized savant which is a character archetype i'm used to liking so it was a safe bet. the opposites attract sidekick or love interest of such a character is usually not my cup of tea but mildmay is the exception that proves the rule ig. mostly it's bc of his unusual manner of speaking with those funny slang turns of phrase and just generally the contrast between his expressive internal monologue and his reserved demeanor. as a result, he easily rivals felix as the most interesting guy in the book. such excellent character work! taking my hat off to monette🎩

9. Newest Fictional Crush? i reserve this question for that special kind of obsession only a very particular character can inspire and this year it's alastor from hazbin hotel. which, i know, is not a book but i have read so much alastor fanfic in the last few months that he's basically like a book character to me at this point lol

💕Best Ship💕 elliot schafer and luke sunborn are very cute. i don't usually go for cute but here we are. especially after reading that short story from luke's pov i realized i just need more of these two together😌 felix and mildmay with their unholy magic bdsm union - need i say more? forbidden ship that watered my crops. last but not least, i'm currently trudging through the realm of the elderings bc of fitz and the fool and as of assassin's quest it finally started paying off: i'm being queerbaited and asking for more🥲

10. Book That Made You Cry? a thousand stitches is such a wholesome cozy book and it made me cry multiple times the way that a nostalgic movie from childhood can make you cry sometimes. especially the pug scene😭 the scenes of thara celehar walking the corn maze in the cemeteries of amalo made me cry a lot too. the symbolic depths addison is able to achieve with the labyrinth motif, the exploration of grief and forgiveness and letting go - unparalleled🤌

11. Book That Made You Happy? a thousand stitches made me happy! especially the pug scene!!😅 honestly it was like watching a disney movie back when they were good except also more relatable bc atwater's characters read neurodivergent and aspec-coded to me. love how she maintains that the kiss of true love that breaks the faerie curse doesn't have to be romantic. re-reading the three musketeers made me very happy too - it's one of my top 10 favorite books of all time and i was kinda nervous i might not like it as much as an adult. well the joke's on me bc now i can confirm it's one of the best books ever written😊 reading in other lands and big swiss cheered me up a lot too bc they're just so damn funney😄

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw This Year? haven't seen a lot of adaptations so ig dune part two wins by default. twas a fine movie. the wheel of time is also a nice show in my opinion but i didn't read the source material so idk how good it is adaptation-wise🤷‍♀️

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year? my favorite ones are probably the ones i wrote about the three musketeers and in other lands but i think i also wrote some good critical/negative reviews of the mask of mirrors and of the vorkosigan books i read this year (1 2 3)

14. Most Beautiful Cover? behold the cover of the voyage of the basilisk!🤩 i want to frame it and hang it on my wall so that i can gaze at it adoringly and connect with my inner ishmael

(art by todd lockwood)

i also like this vintage romance cover of gaywyck and the uk covers of the farseer trilogy. it's a shame that the books are not as good as the covers led me to believe. especially in the case of gaywyck - this cover is Such A Vibe! but alas

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End of The Year? in terms of series i want to finish the memoirs of lady trent, read one more witcher book, at least a couple vampire chronicles and then reread swordspoint and hopefully complete that series too. other fantasy i want to get to at last is fire & blood and the hands of the emperor - both are big and intimidating tho. for my classics challenge i need to finish a couple of tomes i'm reading slowly throughout the year and then also read the name of the rose. american psycho and mona awad's bunny have been on my tbr for ages - maybe i'll finally read them this fall. and i also want to finish reading kj charles' backlist bc the completionism drive is stronger than the fear of having no kj charles to read lol

i never do things a normal amount - every time i take up new media i go all in. so i had a musicals phase, a movies phase, a tv show phase - each lasting a few years and then i barely watched any of these once the phase ended. which is why i've been wondering if my current Book Phase is about to wrap up soon but, given how many books i managed to read since january, it sure doesn't seem that way. instead, it feels like the more i read the better i am at finding books that i'm likely to enjoy - which leads to more reading. and i cannot complain about that tbh😁📚

tagging @magpiefngrl @doh-rae-me @oliviermiraarmstrongs @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @counterwiddershins @figuringthengsout @sugarbabywenkexing @fandomreferencepending @venndaai @weirdsociology @sixappleseeds @theodoradove

please tell me what you've been reading this year (if you want)! one can't have too many book recs👀

goodreads │ old mid year tags 2020 2021 2022 2023

[jetsteelyourheart]

My top 5 Crackships

Inspired by my top 5 8 characters thing going around, I want you all to vote on your favorite of my Top 5 Questionable Rare pairs

I will be providing excuses reasoning excuses below the poll, so if you feel like roasting me properly seeing my justifications, do that - or don't!

And remember, they're fictional characters, so it costs nothing to be normal about this and have fun

*Not all of these are controversial, but those that are? watch out!

Excuses:

Zuki:

If you follow me then you know I'm an OG Zutara fan, but on the rare occasions I'm feeling Cannon Compliant, Zuki is my go too ship. This has all to do with the comics, where basically Zuko's only confidant is Suki and you get wild panels of them looking at each other like this:

I was devistated when Korra came out and it seemed like Sokka and Suki didn't last, but if the above is why, then I'll take it.

Stobin:

I am going to get so much flack for this one I think. BUT. Consider: The cannon ships in the show are generally not well written. I like Hopper/Joyce, I like Max/Lucas, but Nancy/Jonathan and especially Mike/Eleven do literally nothing for me, they are so bland. I do see the irony that one of the things that makes Stobin well written is because its one sided on Steve's part because Robin is gay. But their interactions are literally the reason to watch the show if you ask me. Pushing past these excuses though, I just kinda dig the ship. In my head its an open poly situation for certain, but sexuality is so wild and fluid and weird, and Gold Star status is gatekeepy at best anyway, so like, why the fuck not. I had a great aunt who had an open marriage with a gay man, (big beard behavior) and they had kids and did everything together. Its like... Platonic soulmates + if you will. And that's what I want for Stobin. Platonic soulmates + and a big ole polycule surrounding them. Or maybe its just my incoherent bisexual ass talking

(If I could put fan-art with the polycule in it I would but I wouldn't repost someones art like that... so I'm stuck with cannon images)

Zacknei:

No one has played this game. When people think Zack, they either ship Cloud or Aerith, and honestly I ship both those as well (though ClAerTi will always be my top for them). But I love Cissnei. She has big Sydney Sage energy for me, and all of Zack's emotional beats in the second half of the game surround her (...or cloud) not Aerith (just for the record). Also if you join all the fanclubs and work hard you get invited to your own fanclub and I'm pretty sure there's evidence that Cissnei is the president which is hilarious. I just love their interactions and was DEVASTATED at the end. Analytical Girl & PuppyDogHimbo is a beautiful ship dynamic. Also Rick Gomez will always be my Zack Fair VA. I hate the new guy so much (and its not his fault!! Sorry man!)

Aquarella:

So the section is really short. But my god. Cinderella and Aqua have the most chemistry of any character in that game series bar none. I'm including Riku and Sora in this. I'm including Roxas and Axel. Ok, not really this is not the hill I want to die on. BUT. At least in Birth By Sleep, this is the emotional high-point. Aqua taking her hand like a gentleman at a ball? The way Aqua saves Cinderella from getting run over by her demonic carriage??? The way she lovingly protects Cindy's body with hers? Did you see Prince whats his face doing any of that ? NO. And then. If Aqua were a guy everyone would've seen it when this game came out (but I guess gay people weren't invented until 2015 or whatever.

look how devastated Aqua is when Cinderella goes to Charming at the end. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THEM.

Sorayla:

I really do like Raylum, but this is a poll on my hot take rare-pairs, not cannon compliance. Let me start off by saying, no, I haven't seen this season yet, it only came out twelve hours ago whats wrong with you? This pair grew on me starting in Season 4 after the time skip. I think it goes along side my preoccupation with tough smart girls and their dumbass golden retriever himbos. They have a nice trajectory, and with Callum going a lil dark and edgy on us recently, I like their banter a lot. Especially in Season 4 I was surprised by them and I crave more adventures with the two of them alone. I don't think it will ever happen, but I like it none the less. They bring a certain... Sokka & Suki vibe to the party that I'm here for.

Anyway, I tag @ebbilayart @retiredficwriter & anyone who decides to do it!

And if no one feels like setting themselves up as a target, that's good too!

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

I would kill to have you overanalyze everything about Falsettos. Hope that didn't sound too threatening, I was joking, I'm just really into your analysis of the chess game :3

omg! I would love to analyze anything for you, man! 💗 I've pretty much picked everything out of a lot of the songs─ lil surprised I don't have my own corkboard with red twine commemorating my insanity on this musical lol

Looking through the album, the first option that came to mind might've been The Thrill of First Love but I think I'll take a break from toxic gays for just one moment and give you a strangely written analysis on Marvin at the Psychiatrist: A Three-Part Mini Opera, because of the different character pov's (i.e., Mendel, Jason, somewhat Whizzer, and of course, Marvin─ and I know Whizzer only announces each section of the song but hear me out, the theories are crazy and I'm obsessed with them and this song definitely factors into them aswell).

Basically, we'll start off with a quick look over Jason's lines, as he is the first character to speak/sing in the song. Right off the bat, we have him showing a HUGE disdain for love because of his father pretty much ruining his home life with the illusion of it. Well, maybe disdain is strong, but you get what I mean─ he's very reluctant to accept romance as an option for himself at all at this point because the wound is still very fresh from Marvin blowing up their family life, but yeah, also, he's a little preteen boy so it also makes sense for him to object to liking anyone just because of immaturity.

As we progress, Jason does a joint-therapy session with Marvin and they talk about outings and father/son bonding time gone badly wrong. He lets us in on his hyper-observance with his reaction to Marvin saying the pitcher they saw at a baseball game was handsome, and makes sure the audience is well aware he has some pretty conflicting emotions about his dad and his dad's sexuality. Especially given My Father's a Homo comes directly after this song, and in turn, also directly after this moment, so we know his feelings over Marvin and Whizzer (being that he enjoys Whizzer's company, seeing as Whizzer is the only adult who actually treats him like a kid and not like a victim or a baby or an average adult, like- but still) and their messy relationship.

It really makes me wonder on how it is when he's meant to go over to their apartment, since it's canonical that they live together and that Jason sees him regularly. And if they act terribly in front of him still. I assume Whizzer wouldn't allow that, another trait that gives Jason reason to side with him, because he seems like he really just doesn't want to completely, for lack of better words, fuck up Jason's whole childhood experience by being a part of it.

Now! Mendel isn't a complicated perspective, per say, just very eccentric. Especially assuming he asks MANY intrusive questions to a man who just openly came out as gay about his ex-wife and her sexual habits and such. This is where we tell him to go to horny jail.

(That's not the whole analysation, I swear─)

Mendel to me seems like he probably takes the initiative to not relay any of his clients actual info to other family members, but this song pretty much just proves he's incapable of brain-thought when he's horny. Which, yeah, that's hilarious that the only straight man is just thirsting over a woman to this gay guy. William Finn, you've done it again.

Anyhow, Mendel is pretty vital in this song. We get to see his psychiatry techniques, and with that, understand exactly what kind of situation Marvin's been, in taking therapy from him this whole time. The first part of the song is probably the best way of analyzing, since he's actually intelligible and giving Marvin advice. Well, that advice consists of telling him to ignore Whizzer's flaws and love him regardless, you can actually sorta see that at work in some aspects of the musical, even if he's constantly condescending to Whizzer throughout act one.

But generally, Marvin tends to take the exact opposite path that Mendel gives him, and basically just uses him as a venting device. Then again, Mendel is not to great at giving advice, as a neurotic little man who has like four mental breakdowns in the course of act one and two.

Next, Whizzer, of course. Short but sweet, or.. angsty? I've heard a few people theorize that Whizzer narrates the story ("Marvin at the psychiatrist, a three part mini opera, part one." "Part two." "Part three." "Psychiatrist, returning, returning! Five sessions later..." "A day in Falsettoland─ Doctor Mendel at work.") because after he dies, it sort of becomes his story of finding a true family and lover and son and being actually happy and knowing he lived well before he died really, tragically young, at least.

I'd like to take it a different direction, because I hate angst, and only sometimes tolerate it.

I've realized that Whizzer only actually narrates Mendel's shenanigans, which makes me think, especially with how he still does in act two, he gets to HEAR about the sessions. Whether it be from Marvin, or Jason, or Trina. Or even Mendel himself (this one's more act two based). It may introduce a new side because Whizzer doesn't go to therapy (shocker), but the people he's around all see this one guy so maybe he hears about the sessions and can relay them because he knows this one person's aspect of the story each time.

It wouldn't make a lot of sense for him to hear anything from Mendel in act one assuming they weren't close (at least not in the revival), and he doesn't marry Trina until Marvin and Whizzer are broken up, basically. But it would make more sense for him to get it from his boyfriend who absolutely loves to complain about any minor inconvenience in his life. I just think this could be an interesting perspective, because I've only ever seen that first theory and although somewhat fitting, I need less angst and more cool little headcanons in this fanbase please and thank you.

Finally, we go to Marvin. The star of the show, our princess with several disorders (we all know who our real queens are *stares directly at Trina and Whizzer*).

Throughout the entirety of this song, we see him barely entertaining Mendel with information. He's very vague, which probably stems from a life of secrecy and sneaking around. Although I presume he told Mendel about the affair while it was happening, or a few months in? Or Mendel just knew? Just by the general air of it, and how it seemed well-known by that point even though him and Trina only just divorced.

Marvin definitely keeps to himself, and waits for Mendel to butt in with something. Not so he can take his advice, but moreso so that he can kinda just. Have it, on hand? Or maybe so he can prove to himself that therapy is a hoax, because that certainly sounds like a Marvin thing to do.

Even while going through events with his son, he only states that eventually their interactions just go back to being stale and that they SHOULD be closer, without ever trying to actually make an effort (he assumes making an effort is taking Jason on outings even though they both prefer to stay inside, on their own. This definitely comes from his parents not doing anything with him as a kid, it's internalized so he pushes going out in public and doing what would be father/son outings onto Jason. It's something he never got to have, so he thinks that means he's fathering Jason better than average).

Not much to be said about that middle factor, besides the point of Marvin not knowing Trina was withholding love from him, which is interesting. Her character and lines definitely prevail that she was fed up with Marvin, but it could have just come out as indifference during their marriage. In I'm Breaking Down, she does make a point to state that she only wants a man to love her, so that could've been an overwhelming point in their marriage that Marvin remembers more vividly then her drifting away.

He did seem genuinely surprised when Mendel brought it up, so there is something there for sure.

But now, my dear silly, it's time for me to say adieu, because it's semi-late and I gotta update a fic draft :) but thank you sm for asking! made my day, it was so sweet. my inbox is always open for any suggestions, I'm really glad you like these little rants lol.

I'll try to post more soon 🫶

Goodnight!

[shortpplfedup]

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 9

A contemplative episode this week, as most of the characters stop struggling and start accepting some shit. But while some people come to correct conclusions (Ray and Mew break up, but can you call it a break up if you were never actually together?), others just decide to make the same mistakes and hope for different outcomes (Sand keeps trusting Ray instead of himself; Mew decides to give Top another chance). We're moving into the last act of the story now, and it's anybody's guess where we land up when the dust settles. Last week y'all judged Ray the most audacious by a mile. Lemme put my glasses on and see who I'm feeling this week.

🔺1. Nick (6)

Team Second Option!

Nick and Sand's loser friendship and their self-awareness of same is one of the most delightful parts of a truly delightful show. I can totally believe Nick suggested them hooking up, this is EXACTLY how these things go. Them dissolving into giggles over their kiss and cuddling each other to sleep was a beautiful friendship moment. Another beautiful moment was Nick's acceptance that he really had just fucked things up with Boston (we will ignore the fact that the boy just can't HELP spying on that man having sex with other people🤣), apologising in a heartfelt way and attempting to move on. I think Nick's heart might be the only one at ease at the end of this ep, so he wins the week.

⭐2. Boeing

My room is right here as well.

IT'S MOND IT'S MOND IT'S MOND MOND IS HERE AND HE LOOKS GOOD AS FUCK! It's time to find out what the hell this is all about, but whatever it is looks kinda fucked which YES.

🔺3. Sand (11)

We are just masochists.

The loser camping trip did a lot to make me feel less irritated with Sand this week. Sand has always been incredibly self-aware about how much him having feelings for Ray is a suck move, but having him state it all so baldly and call himself a masochist this episode did move the needle for me. Architect of his own misery? Yes, but knowing he lowhighkey ENJOYS the misery makes all the difference. You know what king, you do you. Swing wildly between euphoria and despair while you're young enough to find it exciting.

🔻4. Boston (2)

Gay, straight, pan, whatever the fuck you want to be. I just opened your eyes.

Oh sis, I saw you trying there, but the lack of impulse control as always will land you in trouble. He should have sent Atom packing after that party, but sad, lonely and pissed off are a bad combo, and one thing Boston consistently does is make poor decisions when he's feeling some typa way. He clearly served up a top tier dicking though, because Atom is in LOVE. Inconvenient at best. As I keep saying though: you can't keep a bad bitch down, and Boston's one of the baddest. This too shall pass.

🔺5. Ray (12)

I am thick-skinned. I don't care.

*deep negro spiritual sigh* How DARE you bust up the loser camping trip Raymond. I'll not forgive you for that one. Ray, rejected by Mew, demands Sand's company for an ego-boosting dopamine hit (including the sex that Mew denied him, natch), continuing to treat him like a servant and a possession. But this time Sand calls him on it, and that maybe means he thinks about it a little? TBD. I do think Ray WAS actually honest this episode about his feelings (hence the rise in rank), but he was still trying to get what he wanted out of Sand. He and Mew ended their ill-advised relationship as friends though, so that's a positive. Rehab seems to be on the menu next week so anything's possible. I still think these two are terrible for each other, but they're 21, I guess it's allowed.

🔺6. Top (7)

I just want you to know that the person you think loves you the most is not that good.

Watching Top work Mew's moms over all Mew's objections was gross, and I'm fortified anew in my feeling that this dude's vibes are just OFF. Top...circling Mew like this, working Cheum, working his moms, making the move to excise Ray but not actually pulling the trigger because he knows taking the high road will appeal to Mew...look this show has 3 more eps to prove me wrong but something ain't RIGHT with this 'un. Top's money, his good looks, his sweet words, that's all it seems anybody pays attention to, but something underneath...anyway, his strategy's working, right up until the moment Mew runs into Boeing on his fucking doorstep.

🔻7. Mew (3)

I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Well the slut spiral was fun while it lasted, but I guess the morning after a coke bender is generally unpleasant and Mew's a paper tiger not a real G. Mew's trying to keep up the party boy persona but he's not built for this shit, his heart's not in it and Ray trying to literally get in his pants crashed him back to reality. He's totally going back to Top, Boeing or no Boeing.

⭐8. Mew's moms

I saw you on Mew's Instagram. You look better in person.

Oof. Look they're cute and they obviously love Mew, but their son is clearly uncomfortable and unhappy with Top around and they're ignoring that. They may not know what happened, but the room ain't THAT hard to read.

🔻9. Atom (1)

Did I just get nailed and bailed?

Atom tried dick exactly once and it's got him outside Boston's house in the middle of the night begging for more of the same. My bunny boiler hopes have fizzled for both Nick and Sand, maybe Atom is the one I've been waiting for.

🔹10. Yo (10)

Good can't buy love.

Mae Yo with the read this week: 'good can't buy love'. I really want Mom and Cool Stepdad back together. GO GET YOUR MAN YO!

🔻11. Daddy Dan (4)

I'm not going to be your boss tonight. Call me Daddy Dan.

The cringe is through the roof. Well he might get to sniff it but a sniff's all he's gonna get before Nick's back in Boston's bed, and that's just a matter of time at this point.

🔻12. Cheum (8)

The evil spirit left you already, huh?

Will Cheum ever learn to mind the business that pays her? Her lack of interest in her brother's clear and obvious heartbreak is contrasted unfavourably with her overinvestment and overinvolvement in the Mew/Top saga. I also somehow feel like last week's self-interested moment of solidarity with Boston won't survive contact with her brother getting exactly what he asked for and breaking his own heart with it.

[skarkkk]

First, Queer Week.

It's interesting that they brought this representation to the show, both in terms of probably pink money or maybe even for the story.

Which brings me to, Second, The drag queen and Tristan.

I loved their conversation and the fact that Tristan really doesn't know. He's not black or a drag queen, he doesn't know what she went through and I loved the fact that she tried to make him understand that with their conversation, even though it was really a venting about what had happened to her and how it affected her because it was her image, her femininity, not just a wig. I confess, I wanted more of their conversation, but it makes sense that it happened the way it did. And I loved the scene of her coming back at the end being her without a wig and just her. (I'm referring to him with female pronouns, I don't know if I should but it's how I think the character would like to be called, I don't remember the episode or if she referred to herself with him in character, so if I'm wrong and it sounds disrespectful, it wasn't my intention.)

Third, Tristan and his whole vibe. He's not straight.

In the entire episode there was more than one scene of him preening himself under the gaze of the queer men on the cruise, like how he told Avery that "I was going to say amazing" and how the conversation with Avery came after Max admitted he wanted to marry a woman. Speaking of him, I really feel like he has a repressed bisexuality (or pan, or maybe even demi aro, I think it's unlikely, but point made), the way he acted only reinforced that point, as far as being looked at, receiving attention and being liked by both genders as maybe being looked at. Besides him calling himself a Twunk (slang for a young, thin but muscular gay or queer man - according to Google)

Fourth, the Trisal.

Avery tries to get the three of them back together even if it's just for sex and can't. She wants to. Max came up with this thing about being a traditionalist. He runs away to the middle of the sea, gets involved with the employee and then again with two employees (the sex scene was left for the picture, but even if Max and Tristan didn't touch each other it's still considered involvement) and says the thing "I want to marry the woman/person I love, have children" but being so open to another Trisal. A traditionalist wouldn't have gotten involved in a threesome, or would support another, or would be so open to living with queers for a week (or in other situations. I may be following stereotypes regarding traditionalist people, but at least that's the context I see with him saying that in that scene in that way).

Fifth, Avery's conversation with Tristan.

(Being a brazilian with half-assed English, I confess that I didn't understand much of what he was saying in relation to UK potatoes, so I'll go by the context). The issue of sharing Avery's love for her and his saying "it makes me sick" (I loved the acting and the intonation) is already a whole step towards the fact that this could again become a triangle, or simply generate a lot of anguish. In Tristan's view, it would be him and her and Max and Avery, and not all three together (assumptions) and that would be sharing the person he loves.

Sixth, their chemistry as a poly relationship is incredible and it would be such a missed opportunity to turn it into a triangle and end with a couple (2), in addition to missing the opportunity for unusual representation in series like these. It would drive away the homophobes, but as seen with 911 they don't give a damn, so why miss the chance to bring them all together? to put a kiss between Max and Tristan on screen?

Seventh, Captain and his brother + threesome. Even though he's old, "traditionalist?", he's still open-minded and learns community slang and tries to get involved in his brother's relationship. I thought their threesome was cute, and how even though the couple had met before, they seemed connected and how in the end it didn't end with them breaking up because of any movement or with a bad relationship between brothers regarding alcoholism and the sugar thing that caused it.

Eighth, about the next episode (which I haven't seen yet, so I'm anxious to know if I'm right in my thinking).

Avery getting pregnant and how it almost doesn't make sense considering she had sex with a doctor and a nurse who know very well how babies are made (where did you put the condom?). I don't think that if this pregnancy was real and not just a test error or something, she'll keep the baby. She dreams of being a doctor, studying medicine and working in the field and having a baby would only delay that as well as her future, why a child and college? Sure, she has the chance to deliver the baby and put it up for adoption. I think her decision will be the same regardless of who the father is (Max is the obvious choice, so maybe they'll cast Tristan, but probably Max). Of course this will affect the father differently, Max worse because he dreams of having children probably more than Tristan (having had a wife, which was highlighted in the last episode) and because there's a power difference in his relationship with his employee.

Ninth, accident. From what the preview showed, a patient and Max and Avery looking worried, I'm hoping something went wrong with Tristan, because I honestly want more focus on him and him as part of the threesome and the team. The show focuses a lot on Max and Avery, and I love them, but mommy issues would be perfect and fit so well with ABC (Hello, is this Evan Buckley? Maddie Buckley-Han? Eddie Diaz? Athena Grant? Henrietta Wilson?). In this case, it would open up so many opportunities for a conversation between Max and Tristan (not leaving Avery out, but creating development outside of her, you know) about how he was afraid of losing Tristan not only because he was a friend/employee, but as something more romantic. It would probably also affect Avery's decisions regarding the baby if the accident happened after she found out and if it really is Tristan, because the chances of it not being Tristan are 99.99%.