#if anyone wants to send prompts or requests for stiles x reader stuff ill do my best

[fingerbangchan]

prompt: “Say it.”

author’s note: this takes place like right after stiles and the nogitsune split, and after allison’s death. i dunno wtf compelled me to write this but here we are and i hope you enjoy

pairing: stiles x reader

word count: ~2.2k

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It had been one of the longest days of your life, and all you wanted to do was go to sleep. Allison was gone, and you couldn’t believe it. She had been one of your closest friends and now, as you laid in bed, all you could think about was how you would never get to see her smile or hear her laugh again. You’d never be able to go to her for advice, or cry on her shoulder when you felt like nobody else would listen. She was really gone.

Tears streamed down your face as you stared at the ceiling of your mostly-dark room, illuminated only by the soft glow of the streetlights pouring through the cracks in your blinds. So much shit had happened since Scott was bitten, but you never imagined that you’d actually lose anyone. The pack was in danger a lot, but you always made it out safe one way or another, until now.

You resigned to the idea that you wouldn’t be getting much sleep tonight as you laid flat on your back. Your mind was clear of everything except thoughts and memories of Allison until your phone buzzed and lit up the room. You sniffled and wiped your eyes before turning over to reach for your phone on your nightstand. It was a text from Stiles.

                  Stiles

12:38

Hey, are you awake?

                                  12:39

                 yeah, what’s up?

12:39

Open your window

You frowned, but walked over to your bedroom window and opened the blinds. You jumped when you saw Stiles standing outside it, looking just as pale and sickly as he did when you saw him a couple of hours ago. He hadn’t even changed clothes. You wiped away the tears that remained on your face, and then opened the window so you could talk to him. “What are you doing here, dude? Shouldn’t you be asleep? Or, like, resting at least?” you asked, stepping back.

“I don’t know. Probably,” Stiles sighed. “Can I, like, come in?” he asked. “It’s cold out here.” He was visibly shivering.

“Of course, yeah. Do you wanna use the door or can you climb in?” you asked. He answered you by hoisting himself up and into your room. You realized then that you weren’t wearing anything but an old oversized t-shirt and your underwear. Your face went red as you turned around and walked to your dresser to put on a pair of sweatpants before sitting down on your bed.

Stiles toed his shoes off once he was inside, sitting down in the chair across the room. He was silent.

You flicked on your lamp so you could see each other more clearly, Stiles looked… well, he looked sick. He looked bad. And you had never seen Stiles look bad in your whole life. Not even when he had that godawful buzzcut. The two of you sat in silence as he bounced his leg and chewed at the inside of his lip.

“What’re you doing here? Are you alright?” you asked quietly, after minutes of silence. His eyes flickered up to you, and then back down to his feet. He remained quiet. You were pretty sure you could see his eyes filling with tears. It broke your heart.

“Stiles,” you whispered, barely audible. “Come here. Come sit with me,” you offered, patting the spot next to you on your bed. You sat with your legs crossed and your body facing him once he sat down next to you. He still wasn’t saying anything.

You wanted so badly to reach out and hug him, but part of you (well, most of you, if you were going to be honest) was still afraid of him. Your eyes flickered to right below his ear, where you saw the mark of the Oni. It really was Stiles. Of course, you already knew that. You had been there to witness the death of the Nogitsune. But it had been wearing his face when it did all of those awful things. When it got Allison killed.

You decided to reach for his hand, placing it gently on top of his. “Stiles, I understand if you don’t want to talk. But are you alright?” you asked him, your eyes searching his for anything that might be off.

Stiles turned to meet your eyes for the first time, which caused tears to roll down his face. “It’s my fault,” he whispered. “Allison is dead, and it’s my fault.” It was so quiet that you weren’t even sure you had heard him right.

Your heart broke all over again. “No, Stiles. Of course it isn’t your fault. That… thing was wearing your face, but we all know it wasn’t you.” You spoke softly, taking your hand from on top of his and wrapping your arm around his waist to pull him closer.

You’d had a thing for Stiles for a while, but you were best friends. It wasn’t something you were interested in ruining just yet. You’d do anything for him and he knew it. That’s probably why he wound up at your window half past midnight instead of Scott’s.

Stiles just leaned into you as soft sobs wracked his body. He was frail and thin, more so than usual. You could feel his ribs as you rubbed your hand up and down his side. “Allison’s dead, y/n,” he whimpered, burying his face in your neck.

Your eyes welled up with tears again and you nodded. “Yeah,” your voice broke as you began to cry along with him. “She is. I know,” you whispered, smoothing down the hair on the back of his head as you held his body close to yours.

You both sat there, holding each other and crying for a while. You weren’t sure how much time had passed when your sobs finally quieted, but neither of you moved. Your breathing steadied and the room was filled with only the sounds of soft sniffles. Stiles held on to you tighter than you thought he ever had before.

“Can I stay here tonight? I don’t think I can handle sleeping alone,” Stiles asked, pulling away to meet your eyes again. As sick as he looked, he was still weirdly beautiful. He was beautiful in a way that you couldn’t quite describe. He still had a softness to him, an innocence, even after everything he had just been through. You silently hoped that he would never lose it.

Your expression softened and you reached up to cup his cheek in your hand. “Of course you can. I’m sure I have something you can sleep in so you don't have to wear jeans to bed,” you stood up and kissed his forehead before rummaging around in your closet. You pulled out an old pair of sweatpants that were too big for you, and then one of your sleep shirts. You handed them to him and pulled the covers back on your bed before sitting back down on the edge.

Stiles turned his back to you and unzipped his jacket. He let it fall to the floor before lifting his shirt over his head, exposing his skin to the cold air of your room. A visible shiver went down his spine as he pulled the clean shirt over his head. You decided that it was probably too much of an invasion of privacy to watch him strip the rest of the way, so you turned around and crawled under the covers with your back to him.

You heard him shuffle for a moment before undoing his belt buckle, and pulling it from the loops of his jeans. You heard him unzip his pants and then you heard them fall to the floor. Your heart was racing. Moments later, after a little more movement of fabric, you felt the bed next to you dip just slightly. You took a deep breath as you felt the covers being pulled up over the both of you.

Your breathing was shaky as you rolled over to face Stiles. You smiled softly at him, reaching out to place your hand upon his where it rested in between the two of you. There were a couple of minutes of silence before Stiles scooted in closer to you. He was so close that your noses nearly touched, and you could feel his breath on your face.

Stiles moved his hand from beneath yours. For a split second, you were worried that you had overstepped. But then, you felt his hand on your face, and then you felt it run through your hair and around to the back of your neck. Your hand shook as you reached your own arm down to rest on his waist.

You sat there, just like that, with his hand on the back of your neck and yours rubbing slow circles on his waist for what felt like forever. The whole time, his eyes never left yours. After everything that had happened today, and in the days before, you felt like this was exactly what you needed. You knew in your heart that it didn’t mean to Stiles what it meant to you, but it was okay. He was here, he was in your bed and you were holding him.

As you stared at him, and he stared right back at you, you felt his hand trail down your back to rest right above the hem of your pants. Directly in the place where your shirt had ridden up a couple of inches, and he could touch your bare skin. You felt like you were on fire where his skin met yours, and your heart pounded as he pulled you in impossibly closer to him, pressing your bodies flush together from your chests to your hips.

Stiles pressed one of his legs between both of yours, still not breaking eye contact. “I know that everything has been awful for as long as we both can remember,” he started, “But I’m so glad that you’re here. I’m so glad I have you.” his words were hushed as he pressed his forehead to yours, nudging his nose against your face.

Was this happening? Did Stiles want the same thing that you did? “Stiles, I…” you trailed off, the lump forming in your throat prevented you from finishing your sentence. All you wanted right now was to tell him exactly how you felt. To let him know exactly how loved he was.

“Say it.” Stiles whispered, his lips just barely brushing your own as he spoke. It was now or never.

“I love you,” you said, your eyes darting between both of his. There was just enough time to see him smile before his lips were pressed to yours.

You melted against him, your lips moving slowly against his. The kiss wasn’t heated, it wasn’t desperate. It was slow and sweet. Your arms wrapped around Stiles’ waist, and his came up to hold your face as he kissed you. You had never felt this good in your entire life.

Stiles swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, causing you to part them. He pressed closer to you as he deepened the kiss, sighing softly into your mouth. Your heart was pounding as you slipped your hands beneath his shirt, just wanting to feel his skin. You wanted to touch every part of him you were allowed. He let you.

Stiles’ hands had moved from cupping your face, to holding your hips. His fingers squeezed at the flesh there as he rolled over onto his back, bringing you with him. This put you on top of him now, your legs straddling his waist as you tangled your fingers in his hair. You yelped at the sudden movement, but didn’t allow it to distract you from the kiss and Stiles’ hands roaming up your back. He sat up to meet you and held the back of your neck while you sat in his lap.

You wrapped your legs around his middle, pulling away with a smile.

Stiles rubbed the top of your thighs as he smiled back at you, but there was a sadness in his eyes. It was in yours too. As happy as this moment was, you both knew that when the sun rose, you would still have to face tomorrow. You wished more than anything that you could just freeze time and stay right here with him.

As if he was reading your mind, Stiles whispered, “I wish we could stay here forever,” before laying his head on your chest and snaking his arms around your middle to hold you as close as he could.

You laced your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I know, me too,” you sighed. “But I’m so glad to have you back. I’ve missed you so much,” you pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

Stiles lifted his head to press another soft kiss to your lips. Against them, he said “I missed you too.”

Things were bad now, really bad. But at least you had this, at least you had him.