#if anybody says a humidity tray I swear

[encryptedlunacy]

Yeah see this is what I'm talking about!! I think ferns are honestly the definitions of "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss" because if it knows YOU know it exists in your general vicinity, it will die. Without hesitation, fully and intentionally. I think they pick at random who gets to grow them and the rest of the world can suck it as far as they're concerned.

I have found ferns growing in my yard thanks to the brook we have in the conservation area at the back of my house but you can bet that as soon as I lay eyes on them and acknowledge their presence, even without touching them, they kick the bucket. They genuinely feel my adoring gaze upon their little fronds and immediately perish.

The ferns I have in sealed containers have survived purely, I think, on the understanding that I leave them alone and forget about them. We don't speak, we don't look at each other, we most certainly never cross paths unless I am re-arranging them for the sake of survival. They literally enforce a "Homosapiens DNI" principle in my own home like they're the ones who pay the rent.

Yeah these are the only ferns in my possession - that's a lie, I have a blue star fern in another pot, but it's not looking too hot rn so I'll correct myself and say the only HEALTHY ferns - and they just sit in a jar. I don't have to do anything; they ignore me, I ignore them, we have and arrangement.