#if anybody knows more about horror genres please let me know i mostly just read a lot of transhuman scifi

[merge-conflict]

you and me and the devil makes three

cyberhanami day 7: "free space"

content warning: strong emotional distress, soul horror

summary: They could not be separated, Alt had said. All Rogue could do was wait for them to wake up. And just when everything is going to shit, they do.

song: Saveoursoulissa (from the Ravenous soundtrack / instrumental)

-----

The first sound they hear is the drone of an AV engine, shaking through the walls and calling them awake. Not a gentle call– not this one, arriving as it does in the twisted hellish spiral of dreams. They are born again choking and gasping into a hovel of a room just before the bullets start to fly. Instinct brings them to the floor, but the gunshots are farther away than that. The shouts that follow are closer. Much closer.

Arasaka, they think, and shiver. And then, with teeth bared, who else?

“Who else?” they ask, but it comes out wretched and weak. Laughter oozes, bubbles up out of their lungs like tar. “Who else!”

An explosion rocks the building just as they stagger to their feet, sending them into the doorframe. In the hallway a plume of dust and plaster sweeps over them, sending them into a coughing fit that protects them from the worst effects of the flashbang that follows. With clear eyes and deaf ears they press on. Today is a good day to die. Today is a good day to kill.

They meet the first person stepping through the cloud, but only then do they know that they are unarmed. One armed, a part of them thinks, through clenched teeth meant to muffle laughter. Nullhand. Adrenaline spikes all the way through them, hot like sparks, but the hand that catches their remaining fist is cool and uncompromising. The ringing is beginning to fade. Someone yells for Johnny.

Recognition besets them, startled and grieving. Rogue is calling for Johnny.

Now, the man holding them is no longer obscured, and his face is beautiful and his face is terrible, and everything is wrong. Panic, slamming through the same floodgates as anger, sends them lunging away in animal instinct. Dream they think, loud, as though they can drown everything else out with it, just a dream. But the dream holds tight– the dream is starting to grind away the bones in their wrist, and the man– he–

In the dream a man opens his mouth, and says with perfect chilly rage: “Silverhand.”

“Dead.” The word comes out a curse, lungs heaving in smoke and dust. In agony. “He’s dead.”

Everything is screaming: the building, the AV, the guns, all the warm bodies and their red threaded souls. Hell on earth. And him. Takemura. Saburo’s righteous right hand. That fucking bitter old guard dog. Goro–

His face changes with just the barest hint of relief. The wave of self-revulsion that follows rips them apart. In the midst of it they are unraveled, parceled out, found wanting. There’s not enough left to divide equally, and there never was. To let it continue will kill them all again.

They lean in a little closer and with a flat, snarling smile they tell him, “She’s dead too.”

[nomsfaultau]

Daily ask №23

Story summaries edition!

1. Do any of your family or irl friends or colleagues actually know about your fics? About the plot? How did you explain it to them?

2. When anybody asks you about what Fault is, how do you tend to summarise it?

3. If the characters were asked what they think a story about their life would be like, would they give an accurate response? It's like that meme where one character thinks they're in a comedy while another thinks they're in a psychological horror. Just for the funsies please include the foundation guys as well.

4. What genre would you consider Fault to be?

5. If the fault crew had to write a story about themselves, how well would they do it? Not a story about their life necessarily, just with them as the main character.

Ah literal meta let’s go

1.The answer to this question entails a lot of personal growth on my own end as someone who tends to feel pointless shame about the things I like and tend to keep it private. It was months into writing Fault before I talked about it to my partner in crime, very much in a word vomit soup for hours and hours once I actually opened my mouth. I talk about it all the time with him, though he won’t reading because reading is for nerds lmao. He knows everything but the timeline is squiggly to him. Fault is also 100% his Fault since he’s the one that introduced me to Technoblade and SCPs. Then a few years later I met a buddy who I thought I’d only know for two weeks and so felt more open to ramble about it with them, though completely using codenames for all the characters. Alas she somehow has the determination to maintain a long distance relationship with me despite the fact I’m abysmal with it. So like the discord rp screen shots? I had to edit their names back in from ‘Dadgon’ and ‘bee kid’ and ‘Mr. Fluffy’. She fully knows by now but other people in the server don’t. Still, her being so open about adoring the things she likes gave me the confidence to be less private about my artistic endeavors. 

So now my parents have the ao3 link. I don’t think they were necessarily surprised I was writing given my self published novella, or fic specifically since my mom asked about it once like a year before I started Fault. Dad will proudly explain plot points at family reunions and fully uses she/her pronouns for Tubbo in a move still baffling Foundation researchers to this day. Mom and I discuss the philosophy of characters sometimes. Much beyond that is risky to my financial support due to the queer elements. It’s a somewhat surreal experience in some senses, such as meeting my dad’s roommate for the first time and learning he’s read a few chapter of Fault, or a very confused but enthusiastic uncle trying to explain to me how I could start monetizing it ? They have absolutely no context for any characters, but my sbi-brain rot roommate definitely does and tries to shake me by the shoulders to allow a modicum of fluff. And then like a year and a half ago I made a Tumblr and started talking about it in a more anonymous way that’s made me more comfortable with sharing my thoughts. 

My Dad actually follows this blog. Hi Dad. 

2.I doooooon’t. Like God where would I start. I suppose if I’m being reductionist I call it a 12 year old’s evil government torturing the cool lab experiment OCs standard plot. Sometimes I refer to it as smacking moral philosophies together like action toys. The action/plot isn’t necessarily the point, since Fault is mostly focused on the internal journey of the characters. An exploration of guilt and trauma, in its simplest terms. 

3.The Blade fully thinks they’re in a shonen anime where they can solve stuff with the power of friendship. The Blood God is basically Naruto’s nine tailed fox thing probably if you think about it trust. Philza is in a hurt/comfort and everything that happened in the Foundation is backstory and now they’re onto the healing and recovering and found family part. Tubbo thought they were in a jailbreak leading to an overthrow the dystopia plot line but that’s gone wonky. Upon getting powers Tommy decided (rather forcefully) that he was in a superhero film, and now thinks he’s in hell. Wilbur lives each day like he’s in a slasher with Jason getting ever closer if he doesn’t book it.

Dr. Blake thinks she’s in a horror story and will do anything to be the final girl. This is barely exaggerating. Webb is in a…political plot line..? Faustian plot? Where he has to protect the world via careful contracts and conversations to control the devil. Rosalind thought she was stopping a dystopia before her ‘are we the baddies?’ moment and transitioned into I have no mouth and I must scream OR the candyman according to my comment section. Jasmine’s in a fairytale where she got turned into a fairy. Rhodes was in a domestic slice of life until he got shoved into a dystopia. Lawrence is in a dnd backstory where he joins the guild that fights of goblins or whatever it is ransacking the town. Except whuh woe the goblins have Feelings. 

Also the comedy/psychological horror divide is Charlie and Maureen. 

4. Grimdark urban-fantasy drama with some action/adventure and horror elements. 

5.Tommy makes himself the most OP bestest coolest hottest funniest Mary sue ever. Heavy escapist elements. This is just what Tommy would naturally do if asked to write a book even without the requirement in the ask. Tubbo would be a lot more subtle about it, but MC Tubbo would Always Be Right and everyone Listens to them. MC Tubbo is the leader of the friend group and the books are very slice of life chill stuff. MC Wilbur is similar on the leader portion, but on a much larger scale, barely controlling a turbulent empire. Its portrayal of a fantasy society is seen as alienating, threatening, and very creative, almost absurdist satire. Castle intrigue plot filled with lots of scheming, though most characters are kinda cartoonishly evil. The Blade is proud to present Normal Human Theodore Blade (or The Blade for short) who is just One Of the Guys and can fit inside houses. It’s an adventure comedy and the voices are used exclusively for dark humor but are never a real problem, and The Blood God doesn’t exist. Philza’s would be the most abstract. He’s less the main character and more the narrator, in the way classic books have to have a real character they can use to know about events and serve as an omniscient narrator without necessarily being the lead role. MC Philza is some type of historian or archeologist as a framing device, and the reader only gets to know him via narrator bias, snippets of comments, and footnotes. His book is a hectic collection of short stories spanning tens of thousands of years, each with little connection to the other. It’s praised for the realism, not the plot. 

[krreader]

the truth untold.

pairing: park jimin x reader fandom: bts warnings: beauty and the beast!au (kind of) ; non idol!au ; no happy ending genre: angst word count: 2.3k+

summary: it’s a tale as old as time.. just that this one doesn’t have a happy ending, because jimin believed that you deserved better than the monster he was.

a/n: not sure if you wanted a happy ending, but the more I wrote, the more I realized I wasn’t going to finish it with one. it’s really sad, but I hope you still like it ♥

Loneliness was all that Jimin has ever known.

Maybe, years back when the world didn't seem to be so ugly and heartbreaking, it was better for him, but it's been so long that he could barely remember these times.

Now, it was the same, day in and day out.

He woke up alone, he spent his day alone, he ate alone and he went to bed alone. That's been going on for years and he knew that none of that would ever change because of who he was.

When he was still younger, he could never understand why anyone would leave their child like this, abandoned in a castle so far away from civilization that nobody would ever find it, at least not purposefully. But the older he became and the more he realized what he was, he understood.

Nobody wanted a cursed child.

Someone like him.

He had not just come to understand, but to accept his fate. His fate of ever lasting loneliness in this god-forsaken world that he would have to endure until the day that the world finally took pity on him and let him die in peace.

That was the mentality that he had and that he’s always had.

Until everything changed one day.. and suddenly.. he didn't want to die anymore.

You were a woman, he knew that much. The faint images of his mother in the back of his head, of her beautiful features and her sweet voice were the only comparison he had.. plus the countless of books that he had read over the last few years.

You looked tired, scared and malnourished. Your dress was ripped, your arms were hugging yourself to keep yourself warm and your hair had several pieces of leaves in them.

But despite all this, despite your 'messy' appearance, you were the most beautiful creature that Jimin had ever laid his eyes upon. True, he didn't have much else to go on besides the flowers that he had in his garden, the only source of beauty he nowadays had in his life, but you weren't that.

You were better than that.

Jimin had been staring for so long that he didn't realize you had spotted him.

He must have thought that you'd run away and hide, scream for help, anything.

But instead, you let out a relieved sigh and ran, not away, but towards him!

“Oh, thank goodness! I've been trying to find someone in this forest for hours!” you were a little out of breath when you came to a halt in front of him, but even now your smile didn't falter. Jimin gulped down hard, “I.. hope I'm not interrupting you?” he seemed to have been gardening just now.

“I'm.. no,” he quickly shook his head and put down his tools, before trying to smile as well, “What's your name?”

“(Y/N). I wanted to gather some flowers in the deeper parts of the forest, but then my horse must have seen something that scared him and ran off. And I'm unfortunately not very familiar with these forests so I.. got lost.”

“Not many people come here. It's.. quite far away. You must have been lost for hours.”

“I lost track of time,” but even now you still smiled at him, even after all the horrors you must have endured coming here. Because Jimin knew how dangerous this forest could be, “Ah, I'm so rude. I'm sorry. You asked for my name but I never asked for yours?”

Nobody has ever asked him that.

Nobody has ever smiled at him like that.

Nobody has ever treated him like that.

And maybe it was selfish of him, but..- “Jimin. I'm Jimin.”

And it was only then that you saw the place he lived in. Not a house, not even a mansion.. a castle!

Yes, it was quite worn-down, so much that it looked like it was falling apart in some places, but it was still a castle and nothing you've ever seen before. And Jimin could tell by the way your jaw dropped.

“Would you.. like to come in? It's nothing special, but you can warm up by the fire and I have some food if you're hungry?”

Was this a good idea? No. Because inviting you into his home also meant inviting you into his dreams. Jimin knew that if he crossed that line, he would never ever stop thinking about you. 

There was a reason he was never with any people. Because people left him. They always did. 

But there was something about you. Maybe it was your genuine smile or the happiness that you had within you that he was just not used to. Maybe it was the warmth you exerted, despite not even knowing him or what he was.

That was something that he would like to hold on to, just a little bit longer. It was like a warm day in winter.. only that his winter had lasted for years and this is the first bit of sunshine that he’s seen in ages.

And you did not seem to be in a rush to leave, taking up his offer of coming inside.

You first warmed yourself up at his fire place, your eyes wandering around the great room that you were in while he prepared a little bit of food for you that he even brought to the fire place so you could eat there.

“You're very nice, you know? Most people I know are quite cold to strangers and wouldn’t invite them into their homes, much less give them food to eat.”

“I don't get a lot of visitors,” Jimin smiled as he sat down in front of you and pushed the tray of food towards you, “Please.. eat a lot. You must be hungry.”

“I really don't have anything to pay you back for this kindness you're showing me,” you hesitated, “You already let me into your.. palace. That's already a lot more than I would have hoped for.”

Jimin thought on it for a moment, then he smiled, “You said you gathered flowers, right? Plant one of those in my garden before you leave.. it’ll be enough.”

The corners of your mouth curled into such a big smile that even Jimin couldn't help but do the same.

And finally you dug in, eating the entire plate in a matter of minutes, that's how hungry you had been.

You talked quite a lot with each other while you ate. You told him about where you were from and what you were doing back home, minor things that you didn’t think he’d care about, but he listened intensively. It was mostly you doing the talking, he barely revealed anything about himself. But he seemed to be content with just listening to you talk. Getting to know you.

Only that the more he did, the sadder he became.

The brighter your smile became and the more at ease you were with him, the more he had to remind himself that this was just a fairy tale. That his fate wasn't a happy one, it couldn't be.

This wasn’t like some of the stories that he had read.

Because he might look normal now, but it was merely a mask that he put on to make himself feel better.

This wasn’t really him, at least not fully.

“Can I.. ask you something?” you finally asked when all the food on the tray in front of you was gone.

“Yes.”

“Why are you living here all alone? Aren't you.. lonely?”

Jimin looked at you for a moment longer, then he turned his head and looked into the burning flames instead, “I'm not like other people. And I’m not good with other people, just as others aren’t good with me. That’s why I decided that it'd be better for everyone if I just.. disappeared.”

That was the saddest thing you've ever heard in the entire world.

How could someone so kind be so lost? Did he truly not have anybody?

You cocked your head to the side, “You're right. You're not like other people.. you're better than other people.”

Jimin let out a small snort, “I'm really not.”

He couldn't reveal to you who he was. Because he knew you'd run the moment he'd do. You'd run once you'd see the monster that was buried inside of him. The monster that he could never get rid of it. The monster that was the reason for everything bad that has happened in his life.

“Well.. I can’t stay here for long or my family will get worried, but know that I will never forget what you did for me. If you ever want to visit.. I’d love to introduce you to everyone.. as the man who saved me,” you smiled happily.

But he didn't respond to that because he knew he wasn't the hero in this story that you portrayed. People like him were always the villains and eventually the people from your village would see him for what he truly was.

You watched him for a long time, but you couldn't figure out what it was that he seemed to hate so much about himself. He was a handsome young man, he lived in a palace and you were sure that every girl back home would die to have someone like him as their husband. But there was a burden strapped on his back that he couldn't tell you about and you were in no position to ask him further.

He was a kind stranger that helped you when you were in need and you shouldn't think anything more of it.

He offered that you'd stay here for the night and make your way back home in the morning, but it was a long journey and you couldn’t afford a good night’s rest, as much as you wanted it.

So all he could do was bring you to the gates of the castle, but not before you suddenly stopped and turned back around, running into his garden and planting one single flower with a smile.

“It’s one of my favorites. Those were the reasons I went so deep into the woods, because I wanted to find them,” you got up from the ground and smiled at him, “They’ll remind you of me.”

Jimin stared at the flower for a very long time, then he turned his head to look at you.

He wanted to ask you to stay, just a little bit longer, but he just couldn’t do that to you.

You deserved a good man, not a monster.

So he lowered his head, just waiting for you to leave, when he could feel your lips against his cheek.

He was surprised, his eyes widening so much that it felt like they were about to pop out.

But you still smiled, “Thank you, Jimin. For everything. I’ll never forget you.. and if you do ever want to come visit.. I’d be more than happy.”

And then all he could do was watch you leave, not ever taking his eyes off your back for just as much as a second, up until you were so deep in the forest that he couldn’t see you anymore.

And once again, he was alone..

..well, not quite.

The single, blue flower that was in his garden now was the only company he had. Every day from now on he took special care of this flower. He treated it with the utmost care and even managed to find more of it in the deepest parts of the forests like you had said, until his entire garden was an ocean of blue, his color of hope and happiness.

Your color.

He wished he could show it to you. That he took good care of your flower and that he wanted it to look beautiful for you.. if you ever.. came back.

A part of him wanted to go to the village you told him about and that part was growing stronger every day. He told himself that he wanted to see you just one more time, that maybe he could show you the real him and maybe you would accept him for who he was.

But that thought died down as quickly as it arrived, he knew there was no way you'd ever love him.

After all, the last thing he remembered his mother telling him was that Jimin may never leave this castle.. because he was an abomination. And abominations shouldn't roam the world freely, they should be locked away for their ugly shadow they cast on this world.

And to remind himself of that, he did something that he hadn't done in years.

He dared to look at himself in the mirror when the part of him came out that he hated so much.

That's who he was.

A beast.

And you.. you were.. a princess. So beautiful and pure, he could never defile you by being with you.

You had left him to go back to your family and, hopefully, remembered him in a good light. That was more than he ever could have asked for. That somebody, especially somebody so wonderful as you, remembered him positively. 

But if you saw him like this, you would not think of your time here as a good one, you'd be afraid and he couldn't stomach that.

Not you, you shouldn't be afraid of him, he never wanted that.

It was years later, when he was sure that you had already forgotten about him, that he dared to leave the castle grounds for the first time since he was a child as the man with the mask on. The handsome man that you had gotten to know.

He wanted to see you, just one more time, then he’d never leave the castle again. From far away, so you wouldn't see him.

And indeed, he found you.

He found you looking as beautiful and happy as the last time he had seen you and Jimin could do nothing but stare and admire your beauty.

And all he could think was: “I love you so much and I'm sorry I can never tell you.”

He didn't approach you, he had promised himself that he wouldn't.

All he did was place a blue flower in front of the house that he assumed to be yours after you left and entered it a couple of times and then he waited for you to come home and see it.

You must have been reminded of him, as you instantly looked around and tried to see if he was here, if it was the handsome but lonely stranger that you’ve never forgotten and that often creeped into your dreams, but Jimin had found a good hiding spot.

A quality of his.

He watched you breathe in the scent and pull it close to your body, closing your eyes and smiling at a memory that you’d never forget.

And that was what he wanted.

You to remember him fondly.

That was more he ever thought he could have in this life. Someone that thought well of him.

He often wondered in the years after if there maybe had been a chance that you might have accepted him for who he was and if you had, if maybe you had stayed with him. If maybe this broken and dying man that he was in the years after would have been a happy and thriving one.

Not lying alone in his bed with silent tears running out of his eyes, but with you by his side and falling asleep with a smile on his face.

It was a fairy tale..

..just not one with a happy ending.

At least not for him.

Never for him.

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up ��� but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[gamerwoo]

Jihoon: Fear the Soul Eater

Characters: Jihoon x reader (gender neutral)

Genre/warnings: soul eater au, horror, angst, death

Word count: 1,666

Summary: I can’t wake up from the fear so I lie again. Even my memories are staining. This is love that has spread over my body.

a/n: i was supposed to have this done on friday. don’t ask me why it took so long to write. but i rushed to finish it so it wasn’t proof read aka there might be a lot of mistakes and it might not be the best lmao

Tag list: @exo-chan-kai @purpleseleva @mntax @squishy-yamdumplings @linophobia @fullsun-donghyuck @greenmetalroof

Fear Masterlist

It needed souls to stay alive, that was all Jihoon could gather. At first, he was meant to be one of the souls it would consume. His soul was brought to its nest, which was just a darker, scarier version of the real house it was located in. The house was one on his street that had been abandoned for years -- or so he thought. After the couple who lived there had died suddenly, nobody wanted to buy it. But now, Jihoon was realizing they were killed by the soul eater that had set up its nest in a weird dimension that shadowed their world.

But Jihoon soon became a pawn in the soul eater’s game. It needed more souls brought to its nest, and it planned on using Jihoon to do so. The task wasn’t difficult using somebody like Jihoon. He was a young adult who had a lot of friends, so it wasn’t like it would take much convincing to get souls close enough that the soul eater could take them. It even set up its new next in Jihoon’s house because it was more convenient.

The problem was that Jihoon still had to come off like he was himself, so the soul eater had to return his soul to his body and possess him. So while a little part of Jihoon was still in there, it was mostly the soul eater that was in charge. Jihoon was like a prisoner in his own body, and he couldn’t even scream for help.

Overtime, his own memories started becoming warped with what the soul eater saw and wanted him to see. It was like he was becoming the soul eater. He started to not feel any emotions, recognize any faces, or remember things from his old life. People could tell there was something different about him, but because it was still his body, nobody had reason to suspect he could possibly be possessed. That was stuff that only happened in movies. But they didn’t realize until it was too late and they were lured into his nest.

Over the course of only a few weeks, Jihoon -- his own soul that was still somewhere inside his body -- slowly got weaker and weaker until he swore he became the soul eater.

-

“_____.”

Hearing Jihoon’s soft voice say your name, you turned around just as you were about to leave the classroom. Despite the fact it sounded like Jihoon, something about the tone always seemed off. You noticed there was always something a little off about Jihoon, and there had been for a while now. You only knew because you’d had the biggest crush on him for who knows how long.

There was some sort of silent acknowledgement that you and Jihoon both had feelings for each other, but both of you were too shy to do anything about it. The farthest anything went was being partners for projects together since you were studying the same major and had a lot of classes together. Both of you were too shy to make a move, but Jihoon suddenly...changed. He still didn’t speak much but it felt off somehow. Colder, maybe. It wasn’t just shyness, it was like he didn’t want to interact with anybody. But either way, it was odd for him to call after you when class had already ended.

“Would you like to come back to my place?” he offered coolly.

You noticed that something in his eyes wasn’t exactly right, either. There wasn’t the same sparkle there. They were dull, almost like he was spacing out yet he still was looking right at you rather than through you.

You trusted Jihoon. Despite him being very quiet and introverted, he was always very sweet -- especially when it came to you. The way he spoke to you, acted around you, and even looked at you always made you feel at ease. You never once suspected Jihoon would hurt you, even when he seemed a little odd. In fact, his change made you worried and you wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on. Maybe he was going through something and needed a friend. So you said yes.

That was the biggest mistake you could’ve made.

You didn’t realize what was causing you to see the horrible things you saw when you entered Jihoon’s house until you were caught in his nest and had it explained to you by another trapped soul. He made you hallucinate horrible things to make you vulnerable, and then he stole your soul, saving it to eat when he needed it.

“But he likes to...play with us first,” one of the souls mumbled when he tried to explain what was happening. “I think he likes to make us feel afraid. We never know when he’ll end it. He gets into your mind and makes you see awful things. I think death would be better at this point.”

But this wasn’t the Jihoon you knew, and you suspected that he was in there somewhere. This...thing was cold and sadistic and menacing. But Jihoon -- though shy -- was warm and kind and gentle. There was no way that Jihoon was this. No, you wouldn’t believe it.

Even though you wanted to believe Jihoon was still there, you were no exception to his mind games. He could make you see and hear whatever he wanted until you were shaking and crying and begging for him to do anything to stop it.

Jihoon smirked, ready to walk away and leave you there to try to collect yourself after all he had put you through. But he stopped when he felt your cold hands wrap around his leg, keeping him from moving. He stopped and looked down at where you had sunk to your knees, tears streaking your cheeks as you looked up at him.

“Jihoon…” you whimpered.

He turned away too quickly for you to see his expression. He tugged his leg away and carried on, leaving the room you were in.

The soul eater had felt Jihoon’s soul spark to life, even if it was a small spark. But considering Jihoon had been all but gone for weeks, it was concerning. It didn't realize how strongly Jihoon felt for you; it didn’t know you had that kind of power over him. But it wouldn’t let anything like that happen. It knew you were trying to break him and bring him back, but it was going to break you first.

-

You became his favorite target. He would spend up to an hour just watching the fear in your eyes and on your face as he made you see things that you couldn’t even imagine in your worst nightmares. He would listen to you sob for him to stop, smirk as you screamed and tried to somehow get away from the things in your own mind, and felt pride as he saw your mental state crumble bit by bit.

And yet, you did the same thing to him every single time.

Sometimes you’d whimper, “Jihoon, make it stop.”

Other times, you’d find yourself clinging to his leg as he sat and watched you, crying his name over and over more like it was a safety blanket rather than the root of your fear.

Every single time, the spark got stronger and stronger. Memories of you would start trickling back. The way you giggled and blushed whenever Jihoon would realize he forgot a pen. The way you smiled at him across the table at the library. How bashful you’d get if you even brushed hands reaching for the same thing at the same time. How his heart would pound whenever he would see you or be near you. He remembered how you affected him and how happy you made him.

But it still had some control. It tried to twist those memories into awful, ugly things. It tried to make him see you as something to want to stay away from and forget. It tried to make you out to be the monster, and Jihoon started to not know what was fake and what was reality.

The next time you saw Jihoon, he was even different from the first time you noticed he was different. It was like he’d gotten worse, and that made you feel deflated. But you didn’t want to give up. You had to save Jihoon. You weren’t sure if that would get rid of the soul eater, but you had to at least try to help him.

After yet another session of being tortured by him, you scrambled to grab one of his hands with both of yours.

“Jihoon, please!” you begged. “I know you’re still in there, please!”

He slowly turned his head to look at you. But that little shimmer of hope you were starting to see over time had been drained completely. He now looked not only cold, but sadistic. And the way he smiled at you only intensified that, sending shivers down your spine.

“His soul is long gone,” Jihoon’s voice told you, but it didn’t sound like Jihoon at all.

You were starting to give Jihoon’s soul hope. It was starting to try to gain control of his own body again, and it worried the soul eater. It had to get rid of Jihoon’s soul. Besides, he already lured all of Jihoon’s friends. He didn’t need to act like Jihoon anymore. So he got rid of his soul and kept his body just to torture you that much more.

Watching as your face fell made his -- its -- smile widen. It could see all the hope you had completely fade. You were looking at Jihoon’s face and hearing his voice, but knowing it wasn’t him was far scarier than anything that thing had shown you.

It knew that, and it was going to milk that for all it could before finally consuming your soul like it had done to Jihoon.

[purplesurveys]

698

3 words that describe...

Your personality: (A bit) aloof, sensitive, and shy.

Your friends: Loud, laidback, cheeky.

Your family: Emotionally distant, (mostly) religious. I’m cheating so much on this looooool.

Your life: Right now? Put on hold. Thanks, coronavirus.

Your current mood: Hungry, and irritated eyes.

Your dreams/goals in life: Ok three words will be too short for this so I’ll just enumerate three whole phrases: I’d like to have a job that pays well, get a house that doesn’t have to be huge, but it has to come with features I’ve always wanted like cove lights and a yard for the kids and dog to play in, and get settled.

Your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend (if you have one): Funny, intelligent, courageous.

The person you last talked to: Brave, considerate, responsible.

The room that you are currently in: Comfortable, well-lit, homey.

The world in your perspective: Many stupid humans.

Yes/No questions...

Are you creative? Absolutely not. I like doing the logical/rational side of things... I let others take care of creative aspects, if they have to be present.

Do you like spending a sunny day outdoors? NO, unless I’m at the beach then sunny is the only way to go. Otherwise I’d rather be indoors or somewhere air-conditioned thx.

Do you get upset easily or over the littlest things? I can be. It’s usually when I’m already stressed/antsy enough, or if I’m on my period.

Do you dislike any of the people in charge of you (i.e: teachers, bosses)? I don’t particularly dislike my prof in my Rizal course but he sure teaches like he doesn’t want to be there. I just haven’t been getting the enthusiasm off of him, and that’s really important to me when it comes to being interested in my subjects. Oh but my PE coach this sem is a bitch - one time I forgot to wear the shirt color she demands us to follow and she ignored me for the entire period. Quickest way to make me feel shitty. So yeah. Probably her.

Do you like to read books/magazines/newspapers? I like books only if they’re non-fiction. I...don’t really read magazines anymore, and I kinda have to check into newspapers from time to time because I take up journalism.

Are you family-oriented? Towards my girlfriend’s family, yeah. I don’t really care about being family-oriented for my own.

Have you ever been friends with someone in the past out of sympathy? Yeah, this girl named MJ in Grade 7. She was a new-ish student then and no one was approaching her, so Gab and I tried to befriend her for a time. Didn’t really pan out that well - we just didn’t mesh - so we stopped talking not long after.

Do/did you ever get nervous around people you are/were crushing on? I still do.

Do you believe in global warming? Duh.

Are you happy with the way society/the world in general is? I’m typically pessimistic when it comes to people, so no not really. I just feel like the bad news always overweigh the good these days - and while good news can serve as rays of sunshine sometimes, I’d rather face reality than live in my own bubble and choose to be oblivious to all the shitstorms happening around me.

Do you ever question your own religion/beliefs? I did, as early as when I was 10. The Bible just didn’t make sense to me to my frustration, and I’ve always felt disgusted with my school guilt-tripping us to be good people because a man got crowned with thorns and nailed to a giant cross. I figured I can be good simply because I choose to, so I let go of my Catholic roots quickly after. Having no friends that time surely forced me to think hahahahahahaha jk 1/2

This/That...

Do you prefer today's trends/styles, or ones from the past? Both have awesome stuff, there’s no need to pick. I’m really into the mom jeans of the 90s, but I also like the yellow trend that’s been going on recently.

Being too cold or too hot? I’d rather be shivering but be comforted with a thick blanket, than sweat bullets and have absolutely no way to cool myself down.

Uploading music to your iPod, or buying CDs? Depends. I used to buy the CDs of my favorite artists then just download the other music I’m not as passionate about.

Fruits or vegitables? VEGETABLESSSSSSSSSSSS. I hate fruits.

Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, for the most part. Vanilla tastes like nothing to me. Baseball or football? I don’t watch either and I probably won’t enjoy either either lmao, but I have a bias towards football because my girlfriend’s sisters play the sport. The mall with a bunch of little stores, or one single, big store? Malls kinda work differently here... they’re all one big building with a bunch of restaurants, clothing shops, sports shops, novelty stores, etc. Rap music or rock and roll? Not a big fan of either but I’d go with rock and roll I guess. I like some rap but none of them make me feel things, which rock can sometimes do for me. Roller skates or roller blades? I owned a pair of roller blades when I was 10 and had fun memories with it even though I never did learn how to do it properly. Horror movies that give you nightmares, or romance that makes you vomit? Horror for sure. I don’t even like romance-only movies; they have to be laced with a lot of comedy in between for me to enjoy them. Making more friends or making more money? Making more money sorry LMAOOOOOO Living it up and being stupid, or being safe and never pay the price? I’d always rather be safe. I hate getting reprimanded or caught doing something bad or being punished. Doing more of the talking, or more of the listening in a conversation? Listening, please. I don’t like having the attention on me for too long. Giving or receiving? Giving I guess? I always have a pretty good sense of what my loved ones need, and it’s always nice to see how good they feel when I give it to them. Cats or dogs? Dogs. Playing on the swingsets or the slides (as a kid)? Swings. I was traumatized by one slide when I was 6 because it was apparently blistering hot when I slid down from it, and it almost burned my butt off lmao.

Would you rather...

Bolding these because I’m lazy.

Live off of just food for 2 days, or just beverage for 2 days?

Tell a lie and be believable, or tell the truth and still be blamed?

Die at 65 with the love of your life, or live to 85 being single?

Fart and be heard from far away or fart and be smelled from far away?

Be tickled for an hour straight or be woken up by a bucket of cold water?

Have a cabel snap while bunjee jumping or have the bar go up on a coaster?

Have a deadly plague or a nuclear bomb hit your country? (Don't get ideas!) < This is a sick question to ask these days lol. I’m not answering.

Lick a frozen telephone pole or stick your hand in dry ice? Be rejected by your favorite celebrity or by someone you secretly admire? Give up your favorite food for eternity or eat a bowl of dead spiders? Make a lot of money at a job you hate or little money at a job you love? Jump off a bridge or from a moving car? < Another sick question.

Favorites...

Color(s): Pink, sky blue, off-white.

Song(s): I don’t have one at the moment. I haven’t listened to any music in a while, save for lo-fi.

Artist(s): Beyoncé if we’re talking solo, Paramore if you mean bands.

Music genre: I don’t have a favorite one; my taste is pretty scattered.

Movie: Two for the Road or Good Will Hunting

TV show: Breaking Bad, Friends, BoJack Horseman, Queer Eye

Actor and actress: Gregory Peck; Audrey Hepburn or Kristen Stewart

Movie/TV genre: Romantic comedy or drama lmao, I’m a sappy bitch. Suspense and psychological horror are also cool.

Restarant: Yabu, Mendokoro Ramenba, or Silantro

Food: Sushi

Dessert: Macarons

Hobby: Going to museums! Or reading about the history of anything.

Activity to do out of boredom: Scroll my social media feeds orrrrrr do surveys, or watch cooking videos on YouTube heh.

Type of weather: Bleak, rainy, and chilly.

Book: I don’t have a favorite.

Subject in school: History

Item that you own: My car hahahaha

Pastime: Eating out and window shopping. Maybe I’m just saying these because I haven’t been to a mall in a while :/

Site: Palawan

Tourist attraction: I’ve always wanted to go to those towers that lets you go to the top floor and the floor is just literal glass. If I’m gonna be a tourist-y tourist, that’s the first place I’d go to haha.

Random questions in your own words...

If you could have any desired superpower, what would it be?

The history nerd in me would take up time travel in an instant. And I won’t even be using it as a superpower lmao, it’d be like a research pastime for me.

What would be your dream job?

If I wasn’t such an introvert and if I were a lot better in handling crowds, I really would have wanted to be a pro wrestler.

Descibe your dream date:

Museum in the day, cute dinner at night.

What was the best day of your life like?

I don’t know if that has happened yet.

What was the worst day of your life like?

So far my worst day was when I wasn’t accepted into my school paper in high school and I spent like 18 hours crying my eyes out. I liked writing and was accepted for my portfolio, but people thought I was too shy to fit the group’s dynamic and ended up getting booted. There are quiet writers too, assholes.

If you ever have kids one day, what you you name them?

Too early for this lol I’ve only had name picked out - Olivia.

What's one thing that will bring you out of your worst mood no matter what?

My dog. FOR SURE.

Who's the most annoying person you've ever encountered?

Jem, someone from my college who thinks she’s close with me but I really do not like her at all.

If you could grow up to be like anybody, who would it be?

I don’t believe in having role models. I just want to be the best version of myself.

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?

My mental health could be mental healthier.

What's your favorite inspirational/famous quote? I don’t depend on these either. Describe your dream ice cream sundae (unlimited toppings): Meh, I don’t like sundaes. Just scoops would be fine with me. What comes to mind first when you think of your favorite color? I have no idea why this is what I remember, but it was the day I went shopping for school supplies and got myself a pink clipboard, pink pencil case, pink expander, and pink highlighters. I think it’s because it was that day where I had to acknowledge that pink was in fact, unironically, my favorite color HAHAHA What's something in your life that you once hated but came to like? ^ The color pink. And chicken curry. What's something in your life that you once liked but came to hate? Cooked salmon. There was one phase my mom made it almost everyday and I just got sick of it. I refuse to eat salmon to this day unless it’s sashimi or in sushi. If you could stop any chaos/problem in our world today, what would it be? This fucking pandemic. 2020 CAN’T CONTINUE BECAUSE OF YOU. What would be the best way to die, in your opinion? Peacefully, in sleep, with no pain. What would be the worst way to die? Falling off a cliff (or anywhere high) and landing on a boulder EUGH I cringe at it. Also getting impaled. AND plane crashes. If you could give your room a free makeover, what would you do to it? I’d make it look spacier by moving the bed to the wall so there’s a lot of free space in the middle. I’d also add a desk, work chair, and a lamp so I can study there. If you could have an unlimited amount of anything, what would it be? The number of years my dog would live. What's one thing that you like that would probably surprise your friends? They know I like punk rock in general but I haven’t shared any of the music with them. It would definitely surprise them. Out of everything in the world, what holds the most meaning to you? Stability.

[swiftzeldas]

does it bother you that It utilizes the bury your gays trope?

hi! thanks for asking this, because you’ve given me the opportunity to do my favorite thing in the world, which is analyze my favorite media

short answer: a little, but not really

long answer, under the cut. please keep in mind that this is just MY interpretation and if you WERE bothered or hurt by the portrayal of gay people in the IT movies i’m not saying you’re wrong, you’re perfectly within your rights to feel that way and i get where you’re coming from. remember that this is just, like, my opinion, man

so firstly i want to say that i’m not a book purist by any means, films and books are different mediums and changes have to be made to make a book work as a movie, so i don’t get too ruffled by changes, but one thing i’ve never liked is when a film version changes who lives or dies. i’ve never liked that Haldir dies in the LOTR movies and i refuse to see the film version of My Sister’s Keeper because they changed which sister dies in the end, thereby changing the meaning of the ENTIRE STORY. so….i don’t like when movies change which character dies. i think someone needs to die in that scene in IT, and i actually think (you’re free to disagree) that that is a solid conclusion for eddie’s story arc. the only other character it could make sense to kill off at that point in the story is MAYBE bill, and that just wasn’t gonna happen 

anyway, my next point is that whether or not this was the right decision (and i don’t think it was fwiw) eddie isn’t canonically gay in any version of this story. richie is, in It Ch2, but eddie is still left up to interpretation. it’s hard for me to view a version of this story where i DON’T interpret eddie as gay, but the fact remains that the subtext in the novel was unintentional by Stephen King, and Andy Muschietti chose, in the films, to leave it ambiguous. like i said, it’s pretty clear TO ME that eddie is gay, but many, many people have read It and had different interpretations. so on that note i’m not even sure this QUALIFIES as bury your gays.

i do think eddie is the most blatantly queer-coded character in the book, fwiw, for a multitude of reasons. i’m surprised richie is the character they chose to make Canonically Gay - though i wonder if it’s bc richie would feel less stereotypical?

like….do i WISH richie and eddie could be together? yeah, i do! at the same time, though, i see a lot of people thumping on about how richie is the only character to get an unhappy ending and i have a lot of problems with that. i mean, are we gonna pretend the rest of the losers didn’t love eddie?? bullshit. they did. they’re all grieving for him, and for stan, who’s still dead btw people seem to forget about that? 

i think people tie richie’s eventual happiness too much to eddie. it’s true that richie’s adult life has been largely unhappy, but his childhood wasn’t. he dealt with bullying, yes, he dealt with a killer clown, but of the Losers, he and stan probably had the happiest home lives. (in the book i think richie’s dad is like, a nice dentist or something like that.) i think people are undermining the amount of happiness truly accepting oneself can bring, and richie has reached that point by the end of It Ch2. and then i hear people complaining that richie can never find happiness now because eddie, his soulmate, is dead? to which i say….let’s be realistic here. again, i wish eddie and richie could be together but to say that a 40-year-old man’s soulmate is the person he had a crush on when he was 13, and the only way he can be happy is if he can be with him….i think that’s not only unrealistic but also damaging. there’s a whole world out there, kids, and it’s not going to end if you don’t get to marry your first crush. richie will be okay - and hell, eddie would be FURIOUS with him if he put his whole life on hold just because he’s dead.

i’ve also seen arguments that richie would just be depressed and want to die after the events of It Ch2, including and mostly because of eddie’s death, and i just don’t think that’s true either. i think right after eddie died there’s probably a moment in richie’s head that’s like “oh my god i wanna die i wanna lie down right here and die with him” but, like, fleeting. richie’s entire THING is how badly he wants to live. his fight with bill in the first movie is because bill keeps putting the Losers in danger and richie is like FUCK YOU BILL I DON’T WANNA DIE. he tries to leave derry in ch2 because this is too dangerous and he doesn’t want to die. richie simply does not want to die. i would feel FAR more cheated and wronged if richie died than eddie. 

which, btw, brings me to why i think eddie’s death was an adequate way to end his arc which i know is probably the MOST controversial thing i would ever say so skip this paragraph if you don’t wanna hear about that. it’s not that i’m not sad that eddie dies, i AM, it’s TERRIBLY sad, but all the same, didn’t eddie have a terribly sad life? he grew up under the thumb of this overbearing mother who convinced him he was weak and sickly, and grew up to marry a woman much like her. (btw - based on the book i don’t think eddie’s wife myra is actually the awful abuser a lot of people portray her as, though the movie’s portrayal contributes to that. i think myra is a very anxious, needy woman who married a man who made those traits worse, whose own anxious and hypochondriac tendencies were worsened by being married to her. they’re just very very wrong for each other and that doesn’t make myra a villain.) i think eddie’s ending was him finally proving to himself just how brave he really is, that he’s not weak or too sensitive, or any of the things he’s always been told he is. eddie dies a hero’s death and for his character, for his arc, that’s fitting. in the book, he’s not even particularly upset. Not bad, he would begin. This is not bad at all (King 1086). i don’t mean to say there was no hope for eddie. not at all. he could have lived, he could have gotten out of his marriage and channeled his newfound courage and bravery into living a new life….but if he has to die, and i think someone should in this story, that’s the way to go. hero. 

on the whole, i thought what IT Ch2 did in terms of sexuality was….really great. anybody who follows me knows that horror is my favorite genre, but i have always understood that it’s not a genre that is particularly friendly towards any marginalized group, whether that’s by race, gender, or sexuality. i felt SEEN by It Ch2, and i felt like these stories mattered to the filmmakers. at the end of the day, richie lived, and he’s going to KEEP ON living, and that’s important

[callboxkat]

Merry (part 1)

Author’s note: This’ll probably only be two or three parts, unless I get inspired. Either way, this first part would probably work as a one-shot. Happy birthday, Virgil!

Warnings: This first part doesn’t really have any. Just some food mentions and mild-ish selective mutism. It’s pretty fluffy, to be honest.

Word count: 2470

Look for links to part 2 and my writing masterpost in the notes!

...

December, 2017

Patton was excited.

He absolutely loved throwing birthday parties, and it had been a while since he’d gotten to do so. He was especially eager because the last friend of his to have a birthday had been Logan, whose birthdays were never as fun as, say, Roman’s. It wasn’t that Patton preferred any of his friends over the others—of course he didn’t! Logan was one of Patton’s favorite people in the world, but he just wasn’t as receptive to Patton’s efforts as most of their other friends, which made him a little sad. He didn’t mean to be selfish about it, but it was always more fun when the person whose birthday it actually was was as excited about it as Patton.

He thought back to Logan’s birthday, which had been on November 3rd, just over a month ago. Knowing their friend, Patton and the others had tried to keep the celebrations minimal: just the six friends together at Roman’s house for cake, small presents, and a few games of Mario Kart on Roman’s console. Logan had been flustered by the attention; and while he was clearly trying to hide that he was pleased, he kept trying to insist that the party’s motivation didn’t make any sense.

“Patton, this is all highly unnecessary—I am only a day older than I was yesterday. I have not suddenly aged by an entire year. Really, all of this celebration is rather frivolous.”

They had all still had a fun time, of course! And Patton wouldn’t change Logan for the world.

Even so, this birthday was particularly special: it would Virgil’s first birthday since they had met him; and, according to Logan, he was turning eighteen! He would officially become an adult! That fact required celebration.

Patton was slightly ashamed to admit that he had nearly missed the date. Had it not been for an offhand comment by Logan about the upcoming milestone this month, Patton probably wouldn’t have known until after the date had passed. Logan hadn’t known the exact date of Virgil’s birthday, but some quick internet searching had gotten Patton his answer. December 19th—a Tuesday, only two days before winter break officially began (the school ended that week on a Thursday for reasons unknown to him). Patton was immensely glad that his friend’s birthday didn’t fall during the break. That would make things so much harder to plan!

Even though that was happily not the case, Patton had some work to do. He wanted Virgil’s day to be perfect.

…

A week before his birthday, Virgil received a package in the mail. It was fairly large, and at first, Virgil had assumed that there had been a mix-up at the post office. When he found out that his father had sent it, though, things made more sense. Virgil’s dad always got him a birthday present, no matter how tight money was. It made sense that he would put in even more effort this year, since his work and geographic distance kept him from coming to visit for the occasion.

On the side of the box, written in black sharpie, was a note: “Do Not Open Until Dec 19!!” The message was surrounded by simple line drawings: a party hat, a cupcake with a candle stuck in it, a smiley face, and a gift box. Virgil’s dad was no artist, but it made the just-shy-of-eighteen-year-old smile.

He put the box under his bed, so as to not be overly tempted to open it early, but he made sure to shoot a thank-you text to his dad so that he would know the present had arrived.

His dad, of course, immediately called him. Virgil didn’t mind: he actually really enjoyed talking about their days. Virgil’s dad still called him most days, in fact, even though Virgil had been in college for several months now.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, picking up on the second ring.

“Hey, Virgil! You didn’t open your present yet, did you?”

“No, of course not,” he laughed. “I can read.”

…

Everything was planned and ready.

Virgil still seemed to think that none of his friends knew about his upcoming birthday, and judging by how he was acting, he planned to keep it that way.

His birthday was tomorrow, after all. If Virgil had wanted any sort of effort to be put in to celebrate by the others, he would have told them earlier. Or, at least, he would have done so if he wanted them to know that he wanted that.

What a weird sentence, Patton thought.

Regardless, while it had taken some planning, everything was ready for his friend’s birthday. All Patton needed to do was work on his own present.

He sure hoped Virgil liked it.

…

Today was Virgil’s birthday. He was officially eighteen. Finally, an adult.

He had class, obviously, since it was a Tuesday, but he had the day off of work. He planned to use the afternoon mostly to just relax, although he did have some plans. Talyn had invited him to see a movie at four, a couple of hours after their and Virgil’s last class. Apparently, they’d been planning to go with Joan, but their schedule had filled up, and Virgil was one of their only other friends who was a fan of the horror genre.

Until then, though, Virgil planned to go about his day like normal. He attended class and sat with his friends as usual; thankfully, none of them seemed to know that today was any different than any other. Virgil was glad. He hadn’t wanted his friends to feel any pressure to put something together for him.

After school, he decided to open his present.

Virgil dug the package out from under his bed and carried it out to the kitchen, relieved when he set it down on the counter. It was quite heavy, whatever it contained. He smiled at the note scribbled on its side, then grabbed a pair of scissors and got to work removing the packaging tape. When he got the box open, Virgil had intended to grab the birthday card first, but the gift immediately grabbed his attention.

It was a coffee-maker, brand new, fancier than he was accustomed to.

Virgil oh-so-gently lifted it out of the box, staring at the machine in almost reverent awe. He set it carefully on the table, like it was made of glass.

“Um, what is that?”

Virgil looked up to see his roommate, Remy, standing in the doorway between his bedroom and the main room.

“It’s a coffee-maker.”

“I can see that, but gurl, since when can you afford one like that?” Remy made his way over, staring at the machine in shock.

“It’s a present from my dad,” Virgil admitted.

“You are 100 percent, absolutely letting me use it. This is non-negotiable. I’m putting it in the roommate agreement,” Remy said seriously. “Wait—a present? For what? Christmas isn’t until next week.”

“Um. It’s sort of my birthday?”

Remy lowered his sunglasses and regarded him over the rims, eyebrows raised in shock. “It’s your birthday? You cannot just, like, spring that on me! I don’t have anything for you!”

Virgil shrugged, embarrassed. “…I, uh, I didn’t expect you to care.”

“What! This is slander! Come on,” Remy said, grabbing Virgil’s arm and pulling him to his feet. “We’re going to get you some coffee. My present to you.”

“Uh… not to sound un—unappreciative or anything, but…” Virgil indicated the coffee maker he had literally just unwrapped.

“Coffee grounds, dummy, for the machine.” Remy rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Now get your shoes on and let’s go!”

Virgil let himself be dragged along, weakly protesting that he had to be back by four, since he was going to see a movie with a friend.

“Yeah, yeah, you will be.” Remy grinned, opening the door to the apartment building and pulling his roommate towards his car. “Get in, Grinch, we’re going shopping.”

…

At four o’clock, Virgil arrived at the library, where Talyn was waiting to pick him up. They smiled, pushing off of the little half-wall lining the walkway, and approached. They had recently dyed their hair a bright green, presumably for the upcoming holiday; and their stylishly done makeup had accents of red and gold.

Virgil wanted to tell them that they looked nice, but for some reason giving people compliments, even in a completely platonic way, was intimidating. So, he settled for a half-smile and a “hello”.

“Ready to go?” Talyn asked cheerfully.

The two of them were going to see a new horror movie that had recently come out. Apparently, Talyn and Joan had been planning to go together, but something had come up in Joan’s schedule, and so Talyn had an extra ticket. They had asked Virgil to come in Joan’s place, without asking him to help pay, and they didn’t even know it was his birthday! Virgil hadn’t told anybody, except now for Remy.

They arrived at the theatre, and Talyn made use of a gift card they had to get each of them some popcorn. They claimed to have found it when cleaning their room about a week ago. Virgil wasn’t sure if he believed this, but he decided to play along. It was really nice of them to pay.

The movie itself was pretty good. Virgil probably wouldn’t see it again, but it wasn’t bad. He really liked hanging out with Talyn, honestly, more than watching the actual movie. Before it had started, during the previews, they told him a funny story about their mom’s naming choices with a cat she had adopted—apparently, her first choice had been “Cosmic Charlie”.

“I—I don’t know, that seems like a quality name to me,” Virgil had said, grinning shyly, when they told him this.

“Oh, of course. It’s so unique, you know? But we kinda helped her figure out that Odin might be a better name.”

“Fewer syllables,” Virgil had agreed, nodding knowingly.

“Exactly.”

“No other reason for the name change, I’m sure.”

“Nope!”

Virgil smirked, pausing to eat some popcorn. “Does she just have the one cat?”

“No, my family has three. The other two are Boy Cat and Girl Cat.”

Virgil, who had just taken a sip from his drink, nearly spit it out. “Wait, really?”

“Yeah… but that wasn’t her. I named them when I was a kid.”

Virgil laughed. “That’s great.”

…

On the way home, Talyn checked the time on their dashboard, hummed, and then glanced over at Virgil. “Do you mind if we stop at Patton’s apartment on the way? I have to pick something up.”

Virgil shrugged. Why would he mind?

Talyn drove to Patton’s apartment building, which Virgil hadn’t actually been to before, and parked on the curb. “Why don’t you come with me? You know Patton: we’re probably going to end up chatting for a bit.”

Virgil nodded, shrugging again. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car. The two of them walked up to Patton’s building—a stark contrast to Virgil’s own, but most of his friends wouldn’t know that. Roman was still the only one of his closest friends who had visited his run-down apartment building, and Virgil had made him promise not to tell the others about it. He didn’t want them to judge him for it, or worse, to pity him.

Talyn and Virgil were about halfway between the street and the building when Virgil paused.

“Wait, isn’t that Logan’s car over there?” he asked, pointing towards the sleek black car parked a short distance down the block.

Talyn followed his gaze, paused for a second, then said, “Maybe? I’m not sure. It’s a pretty common car.”

Virgil frowned, but he let Talyn lead him up to the building. They pressed the button beside Patton’s apartment number, and he buzzed them in almost immediately.

Walking down the hallway towards Patton’s apartment, Virgil cleared his throat, and then spoke uncertainly, his voice wavering and soft. “This—this was all p-planned… wasn’t it?” He wasn’t sure what made him more anxious to say that, that Talyn might be upset that he figured it out, or that he might be wrong and was about to have a very awkward conversation.

Talyn turned to grin at him, and then reached up and knocked on the door.

Relief flooded through Virgil, accompanied by confusion and, admittedly, a bit of excitement. The door swung open, and a chorus of voices greeted him.

“Happy birthday, Virgil!”

…

Virgil, Patton, Roman, Logan, Talyn, and Joan all sat around Patton’s kitchen table. Virgil, seated before a chocolate birthday cake, was sure his face was bright red as everyone else sang the happy birthday song.  The moment was made all the more embarrassing by two specific friends: Roman, of course, was being way too extra with his singing, adding riffs and changing octaves far more than should have been possible in such a short song; and Logan, meanwhile, sang in such a manner that, if he didn’t know any better, Virgil would have thought he was doing really awkward beat poetry.

The song finally ended, and Virgil leaned forward, blowing out the candles.

They enjoyed the cake after that, and then Patton insisted that they all watch Virgil open his presents.

“Wait—presents?” he repeated.

“Well, it is a birthday party,” Roman pointed out. “Presents are generally included.”

“Yeah, but… you didn’t have to do that. You already….” He gestured around at, well, everything.

“We know we didn’t have to,” Patton assured him. “We wanted to.”

Virgil didn’t have much choice in the matter, so he opened the gifts. They were already bought, he told himself; and it would be rude to refuse. Plus, he was secretly very happy that his friends had done all of this for him.

From Logan, he got a gift card, which he claimed was intended for some audio books that he believed would be calming for him. He had gotten the idea from the large pair of headphones that Virgil carried around in his free time.

From Talyn and Joan, who had already set up the outing to the movies for him, he got a pack of Tarot cards. When he asked about it, Joan shrugged and claimed that they’d thought of him when they saw it at a shop.

Roman gave him a poster of Jack Skellington from Nightmare before Christmas, already framed. He seemed incredibly pleased by Virgil’s shocked expression.

“Dude, how much did you spend on this?” he asked, wide-eyed.

“Don’t worry about it,” Roman said, grinning.

And from Patton, he got a little black, gray, white, and purple friendship bracelet, handmade, and a card that Patton had clearly drawn himself.

Virgil liked the gifts, but he absolutely loved his friends.

...

College AU tag list:  @patton-loves-coloring @starryfirefliesbloggo @purplesoul-at-hogwarts  @lotusthatexists-festivestyle @quoth-the-sparrow @awesomelissawho @amuthefunperson @faithfreedom @heck-im-lost @gayfandomsaremything  @bunny222 @syndianites @astraastro @momolinia @captainswan618 @hamilin-manuel-miranda @goldenkiddos @afilhadehades-blog @virgeofselfdestruction @theresneverenoughfandoms @iris-sanders-athena @super-magical-wizard @rainbow-sides @thefallendog @fanficptsd @zodiac-awesome @lookitsthatquietgirl @soft-boy-patton @nerd-in-space @pearls-of-patton @ab-artist @angered-turtle @im-so-infinitesimal @enby-kiddo-with-a-blog @raygelkitty @dr-gloom @whats-going-on-kiddos @spider-parker14 @oh-star-how-the-mighty-fall @fillyourteacup @kittiebrick

[elviiez]

hello! my name is sam and i’m v excited to be here bc this rp seems so cool! without further ado, allow me to introduce zak bagans ryan bergara elvie croft! details are below the cut, so please lmk if you wanna plot!

elvin tupelo croft, known mostly by the nicknames elvie or el, was born on halloween day in salem, massachusetts and he’s actually related to one of the many folks who were executed for “practicing witchcraft” back in the day, so yeah...he was always gonna be a spooky nerd like he basically had no chance oops

anyway, he had a pretty typical silver spoon childhood. his mom is a rich accountant and his dad is a rich lawyer, so elvie grew up in a nice neighborhood with a huge house, attended a highly respected private school, always got anything he asked for, etc etc etc. he has a great relationship with his parents even though they were always a little absent from his life because they were working all the time. the only thing they could never quite agree on was that elvie always wanted a younger sibling but his parents always said no aw

elvie was only four or five years old when he first fell in love with the horror genre. his parents would go out on date nights every weekend leave him with some teenage babysitter who didn’t really give a shit what he did lmao SO. of course he stayed up hella late watching horror movies that terrified and excited him at the same time and of course he immediately fell in love with them. his interest quickly expanded from just movies and went to shows, cartoons, books, comic books, magazines...you name it, and if it’s horror-related then there’s a very good chance elvie LOVES it.

fast forward to the age of fifteen and elvie suddenly knows what he wants to do with his life! well, okay it wasn’t suddenly...he’d been watching ghost hunting shows for a while by that point but it wasn’t until then that it finally hit him...he wanted to be a paranormal investigator — chasing ghosts, demons, cryptids and the like. he asked for a video camera and evp recorder for his sixteenth birthday and the rest is history!

elvie would go on to start his youtube channel that very year and it would immediately BLOW UP. his channel is basically buzzfeed unsolved supernatural tbh. at first he stayed local, but once he got to college elvie began taking weekend road trips to do investigations of haunted locations suggested by his viewers. as of right now, his subscriber count is at about 10 million so he’s obviously put a lot of work and care into his channel over the last seven years. 

he attended college for business in order to please his parents and by that i mean...he went to harvard university akslfh. i can’t believe him! anyway, his parents are both alumni which probably helped him to get in, but elvie graduated valedictorian of his fancy private high school and while he definitely doesn’t seem like the type, he actually has a genius level iq, so that’s that on that! he honestly hated college & hated all of his classes because it always just felt like a waste of time to him, but went through with it for the sake of his parents because he loves them aw

he dipped the moment he was done with final exams though lmao. started to do his little road trip & investigation deal full time which is all his life has been for a little over a year now. he arrived in baltimore at the start of summer ‘18 and has been renting one of the bigger & more expensive units here in mulberry apts ever since! he’s been filming videos in the maryland/virginia area and has a few more planned before he plans to move on and go somewhere else, but lmao joke’s on him bc he’s clearly sticking around!

i think that’s enough of a backstory NOVEL, so let’s move onto personality & some extra fun facts!

he’s a very awkward horror-loving nerd who can be really bad at talking to people sometimes because he never really?? had friends growing up. he was the nerdy kid with braces and glasses who couldn’t play sports because he gets chronic nosebleeds and all he ever wants to talk about is how much he loves star wars and alfred hitchcock so he was the stereotypical nerdy kid who was getting his ass kicked by the football team every day

can get easily annoyed at which point he's obnoxiously sarcastic but for the most part he’s a total sweetheart. he’s a space cadet so he might zone out or go off into his own little world from time to time, but he’s an extrovert who genuinely loves talking to people so just give him a little nudge

doesn’t flaunt his intelligence at all and in fact, most people probably don’t even realize how smart he really is because a) he’s not exactly waving that harvard degree in anybody’s face and b) despite being very smart, elvie usually comes across as a total fucking hyperactive scatterbrained chaotic dumbass which negl he absolutely is like! he loses shit all the time, talks to himself, trips over everything, brews his coffee with monster instead of water and drinks that radioactive shit until he’s basically fuckin vibrating from how much gd coffee he’s inhaled...a Mess™, truly

survives on junk food, his personal faves being licorice, pizza, and anything else that’s loaded with sugar

loves horror movies and scifi so fucking much like...he literally has a dvd collection that is so big it’s actually overflowing from his multiple shelves at this point

he also has two pets named freddy and jason and they’re...tarantulas which is fucking horrifying so fyi on that! esp to anyone who lives on the seventh floor bc elvie doesn’t really keep track of the lil guys all that well oops?

flaunts his money a little bit but not really on purpose it’s just that...okay look he’s a rich youtuber from a wealthy neighborhood so he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it most of the time.

that being said...he’s got three cars. all black, all rolls royce. he got the ghost for his sixteenth birthday, the phantom when he got into harvard, and the wraith when he graduated from harvard asklfh. what a spoiled brat! anyway. you’ll usually catch him driving the wraith but he loves the ghost & phantom and invites you to stare at them enviously as you walk through the building’s parking lot lmao. i’m kidding fr fr if you want a ride just let him know and he’s gotchu.

his hometown is close enough to boston that he’s got a bit of an accent but doesn’t realize it and would not know what you’re talking about if you tried to point it out to him. that being said, he can also be SUCH A TYPICAL BOSTON DUDE™ SOMETIMES...except for the fact that he knows absolutely nothing about sports! he’s too nerdy for that shit lmao

seems pretty fuckin fearless and honestly he can be...like he’d deadass summon a demon for kicks oH and also he’s obsessed with halloween and there’s a good chance he’s already jumped out of nowhere with a michael myers mask on to scare the shit out of half the people in this building and i apologize for that truly!

okay that’s enough from me! i’m like 10000% sure no one read this far into it and that’s valid! 

[purplefictionmom]

I'd normally be like "ALL THE QUESTIONS" but I'm really interested in 7 and 15 (but like if you wanted to do them all then hell yeah pls do)

You know what, Imma answer them all, cause I love you darling~

All answers under the cut, cause I’m sure I'll get long winded, as usual haha

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?I mean, there was a story that I had been sitting on for...10 years, I think? I just didn’t know how I wanted to tell the story. It started as a mockumentary type of thing, then when that didn’t fit the narrative style I wanted to tell, I moved to a classic modern fantasy style, but that didn’t pan out either.

Then, the game called “What Remains of Edith Finch” came out and it hit me so hard that I nearly passed out: that is the perfect narrative style for the book idea I’ve been sitting on!!

Incidentally, if you haven’t played/watched someone play it, “What remains of Edith Finch” is an excellent game and Jacksepticeye does a wonderful let’s play of it :D

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?Not as much anymore, but I used to hate bringing up “...And the Things That Followed.” Just for a short what-for: ATTTF is a Left4Dead/2 fanfiction, reader-insert that started as a sort of experiment: I perused lunaescence and picked a fandom that I was familiar with, but that didn’t have a lot of fanfiction to choose from. I mostly wanted to see if smaller fandoms stay active, even with very little content to choose from. And boy, did I get my answer.

The biggest reason that I ended up embarrassed over it was because I hadn’t intended it to be a romance fic (I mean...the two main characters are the reader and a Hunter, and what with necrophilia being really gross and all...), but I had readers out and out demand for it, to the point of going on strike from reading my fanfic. This was years ago, mind you, so I caved like a wet noodle and now hate that particular fanfic, to the point where I don’t even want to write the two sequels that I already had planned and half-written.

So, it started out as embarrassment, now its more I wish I could just delete it and forget it exists, but I’m one of those authors who has a really hard time deleting anything, even things I hate haha.

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?For the very first, ultimate scene I picture in each fic/story/novel, it could really end up anywhere in the final version.

After that first initial scene I see, I try to start as far back as I think I can get away with and move forward from there, so I guess the short answer is I write from beginning to end, no matter how it ends up being at the end, haha.

4) favorite character you’ve writtenI guess this is supposed to not include characters I don’t own, but that’s no fun so here you go:

OC: A supernatural Hunter named Silva and another hunter (who I have an rp blog for) named Theodora ‘Timmie’ Wilson

Non-OC: Writing Yusuke from YYH and Asgore from UT

5) character you were most surprised to end up writingI’m not quite sure what this question means, so I’ll just take a stab and guess it’s talking about how a character can end up differently on paper than how you first envisioned them in your head.

And that award goes to Silva. I expected her to be a hard, cold killer, but she had so much inner turmoil and hidden thoughts that she was definitely the hardest character to write until I actually started to understand her.

Which took an ungodly amount of time, tbh haha.

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change nowProbably how often I use the double-hyphen. Its meant to be an alternative to using commas (which, I use to many as it is anyway haha), but now they litter my writing like popcorn on the floor at a midnight release, haha.

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?Honestly? A little of both.

I’m someone who sees fanfiction (and any fanwork at all, tbh) as legitimate art forms, but there are so many who not only don’t agree, but they belittle and question those who participate in fandoms.

There are days I have all my shit together and I’m ready to defend my fanfiction to the death, along with all my original content; I have my sources, I have examples, so on and so forth, but other days...

Well, let’s just say there are days I don’t even volunteer that information to people willingly haha.

8) favorite genre to writeOther than fanfiction, I love horror, fantasy, and scifi the best, though there are plenty of times it feels like I’m hardly writing for any of those genres at all, haha.

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?Fanfiction, most of the time, but I also listen to songs on the radio, discuss ideas with friends/family (my step-dad was the only person when I was growing up who nurtured my love for telling stories and many of my ideas for novels came from talking with him over the years), or I also like to free-write.

At least, I think its called free-writing haha. I basically just put my pen on paper and just talk to the page with my pen. Sometimes, its just a rant, but more often then not, I’ll find a story or character hidden there.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?All of the above, haha. In the perfect atmosphere, music is playing in the background, and I’m completely alone with no distractions, but since that’s not reality, I’ve sort of forced myself to adapt to what I can.

My computer (where I do 90% of my writing) is in the living room of my house, so my hubby is usually around, and if he’s playing overwatch, then its usually a few voices playing in the background.

If it gets to be too distracting, I just put headphones in, but I also write in notebooks and I take those everywhere, so for that, I just write when/what I can as I go along.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?Definitely dialogue, but also my prose. Honestly, all of it, haha. I look back at stuff I wrote years ago and I wonder how anybody thought I was any good, haha.

12) your weaknesses as an authorIf I had to pick one, its probably that I tend to either over-explain, or under-explain. There is no in-between, haha. My first drafts are often a mess of me focusing in on the details of one room and then not describing a setting for two chapters or more.

13) your strengths as an authorProbably my ability to logically follow order of events, even though I don’t plot, like, at all. This also makes it easy to see where I can divert from what’s expected and explore different avenues.

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?Not really? I tend to either put my whole library on shuffle, or I have a dedicated writing playlist that’s full of background music from video games and other things like that.

15) why did you start writing?It started as an outlet.

When I was about 10, my dad came home from work one day while my mom was still at work and while I watched, packed all his stuff into his car, called my mother and told her that if she didn’t get off work soon I’d be home alone, and then left.

I was in a complete and total depression from around then until well into my late teens (I have a little depression now, and a slew of other problems, but now for diff reasons). On top of my dad leaving, my mother, step-father and I all moved to a completely new state, where I started to bomb academically and had literally no friends until almost a year later.

It started out as angsty pre-teen poetry (a lot of which actually still pretty good, even as I go back to read it), then it spilled into fanfiction and fandoms, and around the age of 13--once my step-dad found my love of writing and wanted to pull me away from fanfiction--I finally started writing original ideas out.

16) are there any characters who haunt you?Silva, and a few others. Not so much because their stories are left untold, but moreso because of the way they helped shape me as a writer and the things I was interested in writing about.

The debate about whether or not a writer should write about a certain subject usually stems from readers, but I tend to lean toward the argument from a writer’s point of view: there are subjects that I broached as a teenager that I needed to explore in order to be who I am today, as a person and as a writer. Not to say I have something horrible in my writer’s past that I wouldn’t be able to share, but more that it might be questionable about the age that I delved into those topics. (and no, I don’t mean just smut, though that is included in what I’m talking about)

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?Stop wasting your time trying to please family members with what you write. Most of them are going to ignore the whole of your writing and focus in on the one swear word you threw in for characterization anyway.

Write what makes you happy; whether or not its publishable isn’t the point. You’re just starting out and you need to write; to get better, to learn the ropes, so just go WRITE!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?Oh geez...at the beginning, everything I read affected my writing style. Fanfiction, published novels, everything.

Probably my biggest influencers would be “The Green Mile” by Stephen King, “The Hobbit” by JRR Tolkien, “This Present Darkness” By Frank Peretti.

And while these are hugely different authors with different writing styles, they more influenced me in my way of thinking. Of expanding my imagination of what could be if I just had the courage to write it.

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?I either have a notebook filled with notes about characters/information, or I use a website called Hiveword(dot)com. It’s a novel tracking website that also advertises its program (which you have to pay for), but the website itself is free and you can store all the information about your book, characters, timeline, etc.

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?Both, but I get more done with longer sessions. I know that seems like a no-brainer, but its more because of how I prep myself for my writing time:

I have to have a glass of water or cup of coffee, I have to have my music playing (which, with spotify could take a few minutes to load), I have to re-read the last page or so of what was previously written so I can get back into the feel of it, then I can actually sit down and write.

the little spurts end up being in my notebooks and they’re a mess, honestly, haha.

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?I used to cringe and close it immediately, but I’ve been trying to analyze and see the biggest differences in my writings from a then and now standpoint. Sometimes its really hard, if its particularly bad or whatev, but its been a real confidence booster when I can see where I was and where I am now.

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?Not uncomfortable, per se, but I tend to try and think of things from a reader’s perspective at the same time I write, so there are times when I get a little too involved in what’s happening on the page, haha.

HIAPOTS was a terror to write at some points because of this.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?All of it, if I’m being honest, but obscure things specifically? Hmm...

I mean, probably the fact that I give all my pets personalities and conversations between each other? I do it without thinking, but there are times where I’ll find myself using lines or situations from this weird little thing in my actual writings, haha.

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?OMG SO MUCH. Like, idk about ‘expert’, but I have so much useless trivia in my head because of being an author. Talk with me for an hour and see if I don’t throw ‘fun facts’ into the mix of our conversations haha.

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud ofOh ugh...umm...let me to look...

From a currently unpublished reader/sans fic I’m writing:You understand, don’t you, Sans? 

Sure, Sans understood. Sans always understood. He was the one who didn’t make waves, or overturn boats--you could always count on Sans to be the reassuring nod when you felt lost or the understanding ex who’s perfectly okay with just letting things die, even though the ending came as the greatest punchline ever written in history:

He hadn’t even seen it coming.

(I love delving into characters’ heads, and i love it more when i can do it well enough to feel comfortable with letting other people read it, haha)

From Part 6 of my Garrus/Reader serial fic:“They were my cases,” Garrus admitted, his eyes finally leaving Castis’s in favor of looking at the floor, “And I can’t watch it happen again.”

If Castis didn’t have such a steely reign on his composure now, Garrus might have been clued into his father’s line of thought. As it was, Castis was being forced to realize that he had been wrong in his assessments of his son.The older turian had always thought Garrus shirked the rules and regulations as a form of rebellion, since Castis stepped in and forced him to quit training for the spectres--as if to prove he didn’t care about what his father cared about. Now, Castis realized the reason Garrus pushed them aside so easily was because he did care, maybe too much.

(Honestly, the whole argument between Castis and Garrus in this part of the fic is something I’m proud of)